- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ That's how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat music]
♪
- [munching]
[doorbell rings]
- Whitney, wait till you see
my new shoes. They will literally
blow your mind.
[creak]
- L-L-Lori?
[gushing]
♪
- [screams]
[cawing]
Ugh, never mind, Whitney.
[beep]
Lincoln, this is the fourth pair of shoes
Clyde's ruined this month!
Lincoln, do you have any laundry?
- L-L-Lori?
[gushing]
- [screams]
♪
- Hey, you guys better not eat all the leftover gazpacho!
- L-L-Lori?
System overload. Does not compute.
System overload! Does not compute!
System shutting down!
- Gah!
Mom, Dad, I'm off to practice!
Clyde?
What are you even doing here?
- L-L-Lori?
[gushing]
♪
[horn honks]
- Maybe you should try wearing red shoes.
- [growls]
- Right, bad idea, Lincoln.
- Ugh, I just wish Clyde could act normal around me.
- So do I, my sweet angel.
So do I.
♪
But how am I supposed to act normal
around such a beautiful, flawless--
[gushing]
- Don't worry, buddy.
We'll figure something out.
- Dang blast it!
Eberhardt's dog went number two on my lawn again!
- Try doing what I do, Mr. Grouse.
I'll name all 40 states, and by the time I'm done,
I've forgotten why I was mad!
- Well, actually, it's 48.
But I'll give it a try.
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, California...
- Actually, Clyde, I may know someone
who can help you.
- Sure! What do you need my help with?
- L-L-L-L--
- Lemons?
- L-L-L-L--
- Leggings?
- L-L-L-L-L--
- Of course, loofahs!
Well, first of all, natural fibers
are the way to go. - He's talking about Lori.
- Oh, she doesn't use a loofah.
That's why she has bacne.
- No, I want to learn how to act normal around her--
or at least just stop bleeding on her shoes.
- Have you tried shoving carrot sticks up your nose?
- Yes, and bread sticks, pretzel rods, and corn dogs,
which you really need to let cool down first.
- Well, no worries!
I know other ways to help you.
[video game beeping]
- Lincoln, is Clyde still here?
This is literally my last pair of wearable shoes.
- Don't worry about Clyde-- he's hanging out with Leni.
- Really?
[laughter]
- Oh, Leni.
- Leni and Clyde?
That's weird.
If Lori Loud can sink this four-footer,
she'll literally win the Masters.
- Heads up! - [screams]
[laughter]
- And if I don't get a nosebleed,
I'm usually doing this...
System overload. Does not compute.
[mimics power down]
- Hmm, I thought Clyde only acted
like an awkward robot around me.
Oof!
- Do you mind?
This grave is spoken for.
- Carol did what? Hang on, Whitney.
I literally need chips for this story.
- So when somebody makes me nervous,
I just stare at their left ear and recite my ABCs.
- Got it! Great tip.
- Heads up!
- Ow!
Ahh!
- [giggles]
- My shoes!
- Now he's getting nosebleeds on her shoes?
[gasps]
This can only mean one thing: Clyde likes Leni!
I'm free, I'm free! [gasps]
Oh, I am going shoe shopping!
[tires screech]
♪
[phone ringing]
- Oh, hi, Clyde, what a nice surprise.
- Oh, poor Leni.
I wouldn't want to be in her shoes, literally.
Ooh, Lori, that was good.
- Thanks for the shoe-cleaning supplies.
It was totes sweet of you.
You're the most thoughtful person I've ever met, Clyde.
- Well, I will give him that.
He is pretty thoughtful.
♪
"Congratulations, a new star has been named after you--
Corona Lori-alis."
♪
- Whoa! Oof!
♪
- [dog barks]
- Charles, no, not on my snow angel!
♪
"You may have lost your golf tournament,
but you'll never lose my heart."
[squeak] - I love you fur-ever.
♪
[squeak] I love you fur-ev...er...
[boing]
- [gasps] What am I thinking?
I have to get Clyde back!
[beeping]
Oh, hey, guys, just wondered if anyone wanted some lemonade.
Clyde?
- Ooh, I'll take some.
- Get your own. [shattering]
- [sighs] - Great job, Clyde!
You were in the same room as Lori and no nosebleed!
- Yeah, your ABCs trick really worked.
- It always does-- unless you have to go past
the letter "P" 'cause then it gets really hard.
Okay, now let's work on the next step: eye contact.
♪
- Brr, boy it is chilly today.
So glad I have this cozy scarf Clyde made me.
- It's 85 degrees, and you're sweating.
- [growls]
Clyde, wherever did you learn to be such a great knitter?
- It worked? - [exhales]
Yep, I just held my breath,
like you said. - Great!
You're ready for the final step: conversation!
But that one we'll need to train for.
- Just give me a moment.
[hyperventilating]
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's do this.
[tapping]
- Oh, someone's at the door. Who could it be?
Why, it's my eldest sister, Lori.
- O-M-G, Bobby, texting, literally.
- Clyde can ignore the lemonade and the scarf,
but this limited edition "Ace Savvy" comic
will definitely do the trick!
- H-H-H-Hi, Lori.
H-H-H-How's it going?
- Super job, Clyde!
- Yeah, you sounded totally natural!
- Thanks, the ice pack was a great idea.
It really kept me distracted--
though I can't feel my belly button.
- This has been totes fun.
You're such a great guy, Clyde!
- Thanks, Leni! And may I say,
you've never looked more beautiful.
- Oh, Clyde! [giggles]
- [growls]
That does it.
So Clyde likes the way Leni looks?
Fine! I can look like Leni.
[grunting]
- I can't hold it anymore! - You've been in there forever!
- Leave me alone, I'm busy!
all: [gasp]
- Uh, why do you look like Leni's messed up twin?
- Because I'm trying to win Clyde back!
- Win him back? He's obsessed with you.
- No, he's obsessed with Leni now.
But not for long.
- Why do you even care?
- Yeah, you hide when he comes over
and throw his gifts in the trash.
- You use his homemade cookies as doorstops.
- Well, yes, but-- - Do you like Clyde now?
- Of course not! - Well, then why are you
trying to win him back?
- I just need him to like me.
Now stop asking questions!
I know what I'm doing.
[door slams]
[sighs] What am I doing?
You're trying to win back Clyde, now stop farting around
and straighten that hair!
No, I don't need to win Clyde back.
I need to apologize to him.
Don't be a fool! Shove it!
I'm not listening to you anymore.
- I don't think I need to tinkle after all.
♪
- Okay, Clyde, your training is complete.
You ready to go have a normal conversation with Lori?
- You know it!
I just hope this frozen salmon takes longer to melt
than that ice pack did.
♪
- [sighs]
[meowing]
- Nice kitties.
[screams]
[meowing]
♪
- Clyde!
I was just on my way to see you.
There's something I really wanted to tell you.
First, I wanted to apologize for never appreciating
how kind and thoughtful you are.
And second, I wanna thank you for making me feel so good
about myself all these years.
You're a special guy, Clyde, and literally anyone
would be lucky to be your crush.
[gushing]
[screams]
- Lori, what happened?
[door slams]
- I don't know! I was just telling Clyde
that I'm okay with him liking Leni now, and--
- What are you talking about?
He doesn't like Leni.
- But I saw them in the kitchen.
He got a nosebleed all over her shoes.
- Yeah, because he got hit in the nose!
- Well, why was he acting like a robot with her?
- He was just showing her what happens
when he's around you.
- But I was just over at his house.
I heard him say she was beautiful.
- Because she was dressed like you!
- What? Why were they doing all this?
- Because Leni was helping Clyde learn to act normal around you,
just like you wanted.
- So he never stopped having a crush on me?
Hah--I knew it.
No, you didn't.
- Uh, who are you talking to?
- No one.
[door slams]
- Oh, no! Poor Clyde.
♪
- T-T-T-Two Loris?
System overload!
Ee-oo!
[gushing]
Ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo!
- [gasps]
Hmm, I'm glad the old Clyde is back.
Ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo-ee-oo!
[clang]
- Why you lousy-- Hmm?
Ooh, Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas...
[upbeat music]
♪
[beeping]
[grunting]
♪
- You've been steamed!
- Yes! We beat Punky Prawn!
You wanna go for Mad Cod?
- I can't--I need to get home to help my Dads.
They're training for the Royal Woods
Ultra Extreme Ninja competition.
- What's that?
- It's the ultimate athletic course,
challenging the limits of both human endurance and spandex.
- Wow, I didn't know your dads were so into fitness.
- Well, they just started to be.
They say they want to be around a long time to watch me grow up.
[horn honks]
Oh, there they are now!
Okay, Dads!
Let's beat your time home!
- [munching] Mm, mm!
- Hey, guys, you wanna go for a walk?
It's a beautiful day out.
- No, thanks, sweetie.
We are nice and comfy right here.
- [barking]
both: Dibs not!
- [whines]
- Have a nice walk, Lincoln.
So as you can see from these images,
Mom and Dad are seriously out of shape.
Lisa? - I concur.
I've run some tests and concluded
that our parental units have the urine of 80-year-olds.
Moving on to the results of my fecal study--
- [exclaiming] - Not necessary!
- What's a fecal study?
- If we want Mom and Dad to be around long enough
to watch us grow up, we need to get them exercising.
- Oh, yeah. - Definitely.
- Let's do it! - Okay, then.
Operation get Mom and Dad out of the house
and into shape is a go!
- Uh, question, what kind of shape?
A triangle, or more like a circle thingy?
- Oh, it's sweet of you to be concerned, kids,
but your father and I don't need exercise.
We're in perfectly good shape. You ready, honey?
- [gasping] Give me a minute.
That took a lot out of me.
- I'll go start the car.
Oh, dang it.
[grunting]
- Oh, come on, you guys!
Look at yourselves!
- We would, son, but the mirror's
all the way upstairs. Oh.
Okay, now I see your point.
- My favorite exercise is rock climbing.
It's a great way to get in shape and a total head rush.
Huh, let's do this!
both: [grunting]
Lynn Loud, Lynn Loud, Lynn Loud, Lynn Loud, yeah!
Come on, guys! Engage your core!
both: [grunting]
[scream]
Oof!
[gasping]
- Are we in shape yet?
♪
- My favorite way to stay fit is mud wrestling!
- W-W-Wait, what?
- [yells]
Take-down, two points! [crack]
Your turn, Dad!
- [whimpering]
- I think we might need to take it down a notch.
- You'll find the ancient art of Tai Chi
a more approachable way to exercise.
This posture is called Calming the Waters of the Heart.
- Wow, I'm really feeling it!
Honey, are you feeling all this?
Whoa, man, I am centered.
I am one with the Universe. I am so--
- Did I mention that Tai Chi is both ancient and silent?
- [inhales] Ah, remember to breathe.
Keep your knees bent, and really use those triceps.
- Oh, yeah, I'm feeling the burn.
both: Rita Loud jumped on a cloud.
All her kids were super proud.
How many cheers did Rita get?
One, two, three...
- You ready to Luna-cise, dudes?
Just follow me.
One, two, three, four!
Head bang!
Windmill!
Air splits!
- Yeah, ha-ha!
- Great form, Dad!
But next time, wait for me to say "guitar smash."
- So then Whitney was like "I don't think highlights
are right for you." And I was like,
"Ugh, I already bought the lemon juice."
And so she goes-- - I don't know
how you can jog and talk so much, sweetie.
♪
- Oh, the ice cream truck!
- Dad, no!
- I got this. - Oof!
- Take-down, two points!
- [spits]
[chattering]
- You kids were right about exercising.
I feel fantastic. - Me too!
In fact, I say we do this every morning!
Race you around the block, honey!
Eat my dust! - Oh, you're on!
- Well, guys, looks like our work here is done.
[snoring]
[whistle tweets]
Ahh! Oof.
- Kids, we had such a great time exercising yesterday,
we thought why not do more?
- You disrupted my beauty sleep to tell us that?
- Good for you, good night. - Enjoy.
- No, no, no, all of us.
It was so sweet of you kids to think about our health.
We realized we should be thinking about yours too.
[whistle tweets]
- Louds, fall in!
[grunting]
[whistle tweets]
[grunting]
[whistle tweets]
[panting]
all: Ice cream!
- Whoo, really got the blood pumping today.
[panting and groaning]
- Don't forget to stay hydrated!
[slurp]
all: [spit] [groan]
- It's onion-infused water-- for better bladder function.
- Ugh, well, it tastes like B.O.
- I'll say!
[gargles]
Ahh.
- You kids must be famished.
It's grub time!
- Pizza and fries! - Burgers!
- With cheese! - Blood oranges!
- No, I mean actual grubs.
- Eww! - Ugh!
- Ooh.
- They're rich in protein and low in carbohydrates,
so eat up.
You'll need your energy for tomorrow.
- That's right--we've got a 6:00 a.m. lake swim,
followed by hot yoga, followed by 200 squat thrusts.
all: [groan]
- Hey, these are great with a little of this B.O. water.
[groaning]
- This marks seven straight days
of agonizing musculoskeletal torture.
Street name: exercise.
- This is all your fault.
I'm talking to you, Lincoln.
I just can't lift my arm to point.
- Yeah, you got the 'rents on this health kick, bro.
You need to get 'em off of it.
- Whoo-hoo, honey, check it out!
I fit into my old leather pants!
[rips]
Oops, and by "fit" I mean I still have a ways to go,
but now I have a new goal.
- Ooh, mine will be to fit into that tankini I bought
on our honeymoon. [purrs]
- Va-va-voom!
- Ew! - Seriously?
[pop]
- Wait, that gives me an idea.
Maybe if Mom and Dad think they've reached
all their fitness goals, they'll cool it with the exercising.
Okay, huddle up!
First, we gotta make Mom and Dad believe they've lost weight.
So Lisa, you'll rig the scale.
[crackling]
[rattling]
♪
And Lori and Leni, you'll replace their clothes
with larger sizes.
[rattling]
both: [gasp]
♪
[zip]
- Gollers, and these are my skinny jeans.
- Next, we have to convince Mom and Dad
they've gotten stronger.
Lynn and Lana, you'll paint higher numbers
on the weights...
♪
While Luan and Luna loosen all the jars in the kitchen.
♪
- Uh--oh, hey! [slurps]
Guess I don't know my own strength.
- Lastly, to make Mom and Dad think they're getting faster,
Lucy, you'll turn the clocks back.
- Whoo!
We ran five miles in ten minutes!
Kids, dinner!
all: [gasp]
♪
- No grubs and onion water?
both: Not tonight!
Your father and I are celebrating
the great progress we've made.
- Yeah, check out these guns!
Bang, bang!
- We've got another surprise for you.
No exercise tomorrow-- you can all sleep late!
[cheering]
- Oh, real food, how I've missed you.
♪
- Whoa, whoa, easy, guys!
I don't want anyone to lose a finger.
- I'm so glad the exercise nightmare is over.
- Now we just have the tankini and leather pants nightmare.
- I gotta hand it to you, Lincoln.
Your idea really worked!
- That's why they call me the man with the plan.
[slurp]
Huh?
Hey, look, a note from Mom and Dad.
"Dear kids, since we're now in such great shape,
"we decided to enter the Royal Woods Ultimate
"Extreme Ninja competition. See you tonight
with our trophies"?
- Psh, man with the plan indeed.
- There's no way they're ready for that competition!
Just imagine what would happen to them!
[grunting]
Oof!
both: [screaming]
crowd: Ooh!
both: [screaming]
[crash]
- We gotta stop them!
♪
[cheers and applause]
both: Help!
all: [gasp]
- Hang on, Mom and Dad! We're coming!
crowd: Ooh.
♪
[cheers and applause]
- Kids! What are you doing here?
- We came to rescue you.
- Yeah, this is all our fault.
We tricked you into thinking you were in better shape
than you really are.
- That way you'd stop torturing us with exercise.
- Yeah, you probably want to exercise your right
to punish us. [laughs]
Get it? But, um, seriously,
are you gonna punish us?
- No, we're not gonna punish you.
- But why did you try and trick us into exercising?
- We just want you guys to be healthy
so you'll be around long enough to watch us grow up.
both: Aww.
- Uh, I hate to break up the moment,
but I don't think this bar can support--
all: [scream]
crowd: [gasps]
♪
- Now this is my kind of exercise.
[whistle tweets]
- Come on, Louds, pick up the pace!
- Honey, I thought we agreed to take it easier.
- But the ice cream truck is getting away!
♪
all: [scream]
♪
all: Ice cream!
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house