- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ That's how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
- Say "hi" to the Internet! [Lola's car honking]
[dog barking] - ♪ I love to do nothing
♪ And hang out and waste time ♪
- Ugh, I'm covered in dandelions.
- Well, you look "dandy," and I'm not "lion." [laughing]
[car horn honks]
[pleasant big band music]
♪
- Who's that?
They look so, so...
[dreamily] Perfect.
- Yeah, I'll say.
Their shiny teeth hurt my eyes.
- Looks like they bought the Crowleys' old house.
- Guess we got a new family moving in on the street.
- Let's put off weeding until tomorrow
and go welcome them to the neighborhood--
as soon as I clean up.
- On it! [leaf blower whirring]
Good to go.
[guitar riff]
[knocking] - Hi!
We're your neighbors. I'm Rita Loud,
and this is my husband, Lynn.
- Great to meet you.
Bumper and Jancey Yates.
- And I brought you a little housewarming gift--
some of my famous "Lynn-sagna."
- Thank you! How nice.
Though, we really don't do dairy.
- It makes our kids sluggish.
But we could share it with the needy.
- Oh! Won't you come in?
- Uh, we won't take up too much of your time.
We're sure you have a lot of unpacking to do--
- Or not. - Wow. [laughs]
How did you do that so fast?
- We don't like putting things off.
It sends a bad message to the kids.
[all laughing]
- Oh! Speaking of our kids...
- Hey, Mom and Dad. Can I borrow the car tonight?
I have to be at practice,
and then my computer coding class.
- Of course, Beatrix.
Don't forget to eat your protein-based snack
before class, and your carb-based snack after.
- I got first place in the State Math Bowl!
- Great work, Bumper Jr.
You can put that in the trophy room.
[pleasant big-band music]
♪
- I got the internship at the UN!
- That's fantastic, Belle!
- And I finally nailed that tricky passage
of Bach's "Partita in D Minor."
♪
[Bumper and Jancey clapping]
- Almost. But watch your transitions.
- Will you guys take me to my gallery opening tonight?
- Of course, Beau. - Gomawoyo.
- He's in a Korean-English immersion program.
♪
- Wow, your kids sure are impressive.
- Yeah, is there anything they're not good at?
- Well, we feel like they have to be well-rounded.
It's such a competitive world out there.
- If we don't encourage them to realize their full potential,
we're failing them. I'm sure you guys can relate.
[guitar riff]
- So...they were nice.
- Oh, yeah.
[together] We're failing our kids!
- Where are we going? I was supposed to meet the guys
at the mud hole after school!
- Your father and I signed you up
for some extracurricular activities today.
- We just feel it's really important for you guys
to be well-rounded in this competitive world.
- Well-rounded? [laughs] You want us to bulk up?
Sweet. - No, Lynn, you're actually
going to the learning center. - You're great at sports, honey,
but to realize your full potential,
you could use a boost in your academics.
- I'm great at math. A TD plus extra point
equals seven, but if you go for a conversion,
then it's eight. Boom! Math!
[tires squealing]
Flag on the play!
- Uh, "Ceramics Studio"?
Are we lost?
- No, sweetie. This is your stop.
You're great at science, but to be well-rounded,
you need to embrace the arts.
[tires squealing]
- Yes, good call. I was just on the verge
of curing the H1N1 virus, but, hey,
why don't I go make a coffee mug instead?
- Royal Woods Community College?
What the hey, Pop Star?
- Luna, we love your fun lingo, but to get ahead in life,
it wouldn't hurt to brush up on your English.
[door creaks open]
- That's wack, bro.
- And Lori and Leni,
you'll be taking SAT prep classes.
That's the best way to get into a good college.
- What about just using the front door?
- Let's book Leni for the double session.
[tires squealing] - We don't need no education!
- Life isn't all about laughs, honey.
We think you'll learn more about serious matters
by interning at the mayor's office.
- Well, "mayor" day be ruined, too.
[laughs] Get it?
But seriously, I don't wanna do this.
- Basketball?
- We love how independent you are, honey,
but when you get out into the real world,
you'll need to know how to work with a team.
- Of humans?Blech.
- Volunteering at a soup kitchen will look great on your resume.
- You know what won't look great?
Me in a hairnet!
- Finishing school will teach you
some valuable social graces.
- I got social graces up the wazoo!
[burps]
- Where am I going?
A police academy? Military school?
- Nope, you're going home.
To read comics.
[angelic choral music] - I knew I was your favorite.
"The Senator Squad"?
"Lawmaking in action"?
- Yes, these are educational comic books.
They'll help broaden your outlook.
- So...not your favorite.
[guitar riff]
- I'm so proud of us. - Me too.
Our kids are on their way to becoming well-rounded,
high-achieving adults. - Just like their 'rents, huh?
So, wanna watch that video
of old people falling out of boats?
- Do I! [old man shouts, water splashes]
♪
- Another day, another educational comic.
- At least you don't have to spend your day
making ceramic gravy boats.
- At least you can talk how you wanna, bro--
I mean, m'lady.
- [yawns] Kids, where are you going?
It's Saturday. Go have fun.
[all cheering]
♪
- Luan, that's not a duck face.
[camera snaps]
[scoffs] Leni! I wasn't ready!
- Say hi to the Internet!
- ♪ Do-wah, do-wah, do-wah
[Luna playing guitar, horn honking]
- Hiya, Louds.
- Hey there, neighbors.
Got some fun plans for the weekend?
- Yes, we do! We're doing some volunteer work
for the city-- planting trees.
- It's all about turning downtime
into well-round time.
- Najunge boja!
[dramatic musical flourish]
[traffic whirring]
- What happened to "it's Saturday"?
The only thing I should be picking up is my axe.
- You'll thank us for this one day.
- [screams] - But probably not today.
- I've got mud in my mouth.
- Lucky.
♪
- I'm going to be seeing
hamburger wrappers in my sleep tonight.
- All right, kids. [children gasp in fear]
- You're free to do whatever you want
for the rest of the day. - Guys!
I just ran into Bumper Sr. at the coffee shop,
and he said they're taking their kids to the symphony
for cultural enrichment!
- What? Wash up, kids.
We're going to the opera! [children groan]
[man singing operatically]
- [whispering] Do they look enriched?
[children snoring]
[classical flourish]
- Wasn't that enriching, guys?
- I just ran into Jancey.
Her kids are raising money for schools.
She says it's important to keep them civic-minded.
- Back in the car! [children groan]
- I'm really starting to not like the Yateses.
[guitar riff]
[knocking]
- Hi. Are you registered to vote?
- Bogus, dude-- I mean...
[affected accent] That was rather uncouth.
[doors slamming]
- I know where you live!
♪
- Can we please go to bed now? - Of course.
Jancey says kids need 10 hours of sleep
for maximum brain growth. - Oh, well,
thank goodness for Jancey.
- I think we've earned a little R and R.
You wanna watch that show where they reenact old movies
with cats? - Do I!
[dramatic music, cats meowing]
announcer: We interrupt "Cats-ablanca"
for this special news report.
- I'm standing here with the Yates family,
who just saved an endangered turtle.
- We want our kids to appreciate the importance
of protecting wildlife.
- Dang it! We didn't think about that one.
- Kids, wake up! We're going turtle saving!
♪
[turtle growls] - You wanna feed him, honey?
I've been doing it all week. [chuckles nervously]
- [chomps] - Ow.
- [chomps] [both yelp]
[door creaks open] - Hey, Mom and Dad.
I passed finishing school with honors.
- I took first in the State Math Bowl.
- We just took our practice SATS.
My verbal score went up 200 points.
- Mine too, so now it's 200.
- Behold the fruits of my ceramic labors:
13 full-place settings.
- I made the all-star team.
- We cleared the entire interstate
from here to Flint.
- I tutored some new citizens in English,
then registered them to vote.
- I helped solve the city's parking crisis.
- Wow, guys! This is all so amazing.
We're so proud of you.
- What say we take a little break
and get our ice cream on, huh?
- Sorry, Daddy.
Ice cream doesn't look good on a resume--
especially if you spill it.
- Plus, it'll literally just make us sluggish.
- Well, how about a little trip to the movies?
- I don't see how that will help us get ahead in life.
- Regretfully, I must concur. Now we must excuse ourselves
to study our state capitols flash cards.
- No ice cream? - No movie?
[together] We're failing our kids!
- Kids, come outside!
[guitar riff]
- Can we make this quick?
You're cutting into our well-rounded time.
- Forget about well-rounded time.
Forget about everything. Just go have fun.
- Is this a trick?
- No. We're sorry we've been forcing
all these activities on you guys.
We got so caught up in worrying about your future
that we forgot about your present.
- But what about college? - And our resumes?
- And embracing the arts?
- That stuff's important,
but there will be plenty of time for that.
You're kids! You should enjoy being kids.
[all cheering]
[car honking] - Leni, there's a--
ah, whatever. Say "hi" to the Internet!
- [screams] Ah! Spider!
- Hey there, Louds.
We're off to the Postal Museum.
- Learning about the past
will help our kids shape the future
What are you guys doing?
[Leni screaming, Luan giggling] - Just having fun!
- Fun? What's the purpose of that?
- Well, we think that in this competitive world,
it's good to let kids unwind a little.
- Huh. We didn't think of that one.
- I guess if we switch from the 12:00 tour
to the 12:15, we can squeeze in...
seven minutes of fun. What do you say, kids?
[upbeat rock music]
[children laughing]
- Hey, while the kids are playing,
do you wanna watch videos of old people
falling out of boats?
Jancey and Bumper: Do I!
[heavy rock music]
♪
[Lincoln shouts] - You ready, Stinkin'?
It's go time!Whoo!
- Tonight's game night in the Loud house.
Sounds fun, right?
Not when you have a sister like Lynn.
- Yo, twins! Hope you read the menu,
'cause you're about to get served!
- It's not that the rest of us don't like playing games.
Heck, we don't even care that Lynn wins every time.
It's just...
She's not exactly a "good winner."
- Oh yeah, baby! I win!
Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!
- I thought we were having salmon.
[heavy rock music] - Yes!
I win! Hah!
Losers clean up!
- And if you think that's bad,
last week she waited till everyone fell asleep
and then wrote "loser" on their foreheads.
Fortunately, I got out of that one.
♪
- Hey, I was just wondering,
do you guys know any good therapists?
- Well, Clyde recommends-- - To help you deal
with your loss tonight? Burn!
[siblings sigh]
- Okay, guys.
What'll it be tonight?
- Go-go fishie.
- Good choice, Lily. Go Fish it is.
♪
- Lynn, do you possess any sevens?
- Hope you've got gas in your boat.
- Pardon? I have no aquatic vehicles.
- 'Cause you're going fishing!
- Lori, you seemed pretty interested
in deuces last round. Got any?
- [sighs]
- Boom! [heavy rock music]
Welcome to Losertown,
population: you, you, you, you,
you, you, you, you, you, you.
- Well, now that that's over with...
- Wait, wait, wait. Hold up!
Tonight's special. It's my...
[button beeps] 300th win in a row!
I am unbeaten by you chumps!
[celebratory music]
Whoo!
- [coughing]
Dudes, this confetti's made from our homework.
Bogus! - [sighs]
I can't take this anymore. She is so obnoxious.
- If only we could beat her just once,
maybe she'd stop gloating.
- How are we gonna do that when she's better
at every game on the shelf?
- Maybe we need to try a game that isn't on the shelf--
something that Lynn doesn't know,
something that one of us is really good at.
- I think I might have just the game.
- "Pretty, Pretty Pageant Queen"?
I don't even know how to play this.
- Oh, okay. If you're afraid of losing--
- I'm no loser. It is on!
♪
- Oh! Just earned my sash. Just two spaces from being
the pretty, pretty pageant queen!
- Hold up. It says in the rule book
that if you can roll three tens at once,
you get three tens from the judges
and an automatic win.
[spits, dice rattle]
- [scoffs] Good luck.
The odds of such an occurrence would be 1 in 1,720--
- Did it! [siblings gasp]
- [groans]
- [grunts happily] Lynn-er, Lynn-er,
chicken dinner! [imitates clucking]
- We will never beat her-- at anything.
- I know a game I can beat her at.
[toilet flushes] Plumbing Pro.
You have to remove all the objects
from the plumbing without touching the sides.
- [scoffs] This looks easy.
I'll start by removing the hairball
from the shower drain.
[game buzzes]
- Uh-oh! You touched the side.
One more buzz and you lose.
- [growls]
'Scuse me a second.
[door creaks open, slams]
[grunts] You wanna lose, Lynn?
[grunting] Huh, huh?
You wanna be the mayor of Losertown?
[grunts] Then get your head in the game.
[grunts]
[shouts]
[door creaks] - She's coming back in.
- Let's do this! [shouts]
[heavy rock music]
[game flushes] Yes!
Another win for Lynn.
[game cracks, siblings sigh]
- Guys! I don't know why
I didn't think of this earlier.
The Ace Savvy trivia game!
There's no way she can beat me.
♪
- Okay, guys. Whoever answers
this last question right, wins.
[ticking music]
- [whispering] Lincoln,
what the heck?
You haven't gotten a single answer right.
- It's not my fault. Lynn keeps getting in my head.
- "Who is Ace Savvy's sidekick?"
[buzzer sounds] - Oh, that's so easy.
- Oh, is it? Are you sure?
It could be a trick question. I'm just sayin'.
[chuckles] Game's riding on this.
It'd sure be a shame if you choked.
[imitates choking]
[tense music]
- Massachusetts!
[buzzer sounds] - [scoffs]
Even I know this one.
It's One-Eyed Jack.
- Correct.
- Boom!I win!
Better get out of here before I breathe in
too many loser fumes.
- Sorry, guys. I totally choked.
- It's okay, Lincoln. [sighs]
None of us is good enough to beat her.
- But what about all of us?
Behold! "The Settlers of Cat-Land."
The objective is to build
as many cat structures as possible.
But here's the kicker: One cannot do so
without forming alliances.
Ergo, if we freeze out Lynn,
she is bound to go down in proverbial flames.
[victorious ringing]
- What? [stammering] Seriously?
No one has a yarn ball
to trade me for some catnip?
- [chuckles] Fresh out! [siblings murmuring]
- [groans] I can't build squat.
This game bites it--hard!
[timer rings and meows]
- Well, I see our time is up.
We have a ten-way tie for first, with Lynn in a distant second.
- Count it again! - Lynn, I do not make errors.
[victorious ringing]
[siblings cheering]
Well, that ought to stop Lynn's competitive behavior.
- And all of her gloating. - Yeah,
I'd say we really got her "gloat."
We put her on a "gloat-en"-free diet!
Unless she's a "gloat-en" for punishment!
Hey, where are you going? I'm just "gloat-in" started!
♪
- [slurping] - I can chug faster than you!
[swallowing violently]
[burps]I win!
In your face, "Milk-coln"!Whoo!
[heavy rock music]
Race you to the top!
[crunch] - Ow!
- Whoo-hoo! I win!
[laughs] You went down hard.
- I thought I was going up.
- [babbling]
- Yes!I win.
I stacked more blocks than you.
[chanting rhythmically]Uh-huh!
- [blows raspberry]
♪
[explosion] - Boom, I win!
Made an explosion first. - I wasn't trying
to make an explosion!
[explosion] Dang it.
- I can wash faster than you.
[rapid splashing]
I can brush faster than you!
[spits, tooth boings]
I can go to sleep the fastest!
[siblings groan]
I can also snore the loudest!
[snoring rapidly]
[siblings groan]
Whoo! I was up first!
[laughs] Lori, I totally ate more bacon than you.
Loser! - [groans]
- Where are you going?
- Anywhere I can be away from Lynn.
- Pancake challenge, right now!
Which one of you lame-os is gonna man up?
- Please, take us with you.
- [sighs contentedly] This is sweet, right dudes?
[siblings chatter in agreement]
- I really need a break from her.
- Come on, Lynn!
Push it, push it!
Dig deep! [panting]
Yeah, you lose!
Eat my dust! [panting]
[siblings groan]
[banging]
- We all know why we're here. The Lynne situation
is literally the worst thing that's ever happened.
- [grumbles] We never should've beat her at that cat game.
- I say we challenge Lynn to a rematch--
only this time, we throw the game.
That way, she'll feel like a winner again,
and stop driving us crazy.
- A rematch, huh? [chuckling] Well,
this place is gonna be spotless--
after I wipe the floor with you!
Booyah! Let's do this.
Will anyone trade me a scratching post
for a laser pointer?
- Sure! - Take mine, take mine!
- Will anyone trade me a cat bed for a litter box?
- Negatory. - Sorry!
- I gave my last one to Lynn.
- Your turn, Lynn.
- Yes! Ball of twine, chumps.
[dice rattling]
One? Gah! Come on!
[thump] - Are you sure you
read that right?
- Six all day long, baby!
♪
Hope you guys are hungry,
'cause it's almost time
for Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!
Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling!
[mysterious string music]
[game pieces clatter]
[siblings shouting] - What the--
- What's wrong with you? - Why would you do that?
- What? The plan was to throw the game,
and no one else was doing it!
- Wait a sec. Throw the game?
You guys were trying to lose to me on purpose?
- Okay, yes we were.
We just thought if we let you win,
you'd stop being so insanely competitive with us.
- I was just trying to get my edge back
after losing to you guys.
- Well, to be completely transparent,
the only reason you lost
is because we all teamed up against you.
- What? Why would you do that?
- 'Cause after your 300 wins--
- Well, technically 303, but who's counting.
- We couldn't take your gloating anymore, dude.
- Yeah, we were all in the same "gloat."
We were tired of eating your "gloat-meal"!
- Not now, Luan.
- Wow. So, you're saying
I'm a bad loser and a bad winner?
- Precisely. - You all feel this way?
- Yeah. - Kinda.
- Afraid so. - We feel this way.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to be a jerk.
I just love playing games,
especially with you guys.
Look, if you give me another chance,
I promise to be a better sport. What do you say?
- Why not! - Okay, Lynn.
- Yes, first to apologize!
Uh, sorry, that was the last one.
Better sport, starting...now.
♪
- That's all my cards. So I guess...
- You can say it. You win.
- Okay, cool. I win.
Good game, guys. Good game.
[door creaks open, slams]
[heavy rock music] Yeah! I rule!
Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!
[singing]
- At least it's not to our faces.
- She is trying. - She was pretty good!
- Getting there. - Baby steps!
- [grunts, shouts]
Winner!
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house