- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
- Why is your scarf on my shelf?
- Maybe your shelf is underneath my scarf.
Did you ever think of that?
- Yo, dudes, who can spot me some green?
- [squeals] I want to play.
Um, that sweater.
That plant.
Wait! Are my eyes green?
- No, I mean I need cash.
There's a Mick Swagger auction today,
and I really need to buy this beauty.
Mick wore it every night of his Mild Horses tour.
It still has his pit stains.
- Well, Leni and I are literally broke.
Try Mom and Dad.
- Mom and Dad? What's the point, dude?
They'll just lay that whole
"big family, small budget" rap on me.
Bogus!
- [screams] Lori.
I think my eyes are stuck.
- Lincoln, where are you?
I thought we were getting ready together?
- Yeah, we gotta put our faces on
if we're gonna hang with them rock stars.
- Hold on.
Smooch is having a special VIP concert tonight,
where you get to go backstage and meet the band.
In the immortal words of my sister Luna,
it's gonna be rockin'!
I'll be right over.
I just gotta get the money for my ticket.
- What? You haven't asked your parents yet?
- Guys, don't worry.
You know I'm the master of convincing,
especially when it comes to my parents.
Got my suit dry-cleaned,
my speech written,
my turkey tail slicked.
Yes, sir, I'm ready to go.
- You say good-bye,
and I say hello. - Luna!
- Sorry, bro. It's an emergency.
You gotta help me convince the 'rents
to cough up the dough for this.
- I think that's the wrong picture.
It looks like a sweaty T-shirt.
- Yeah! Mick Swagger's sweaty T-shirt.
- I'd love to help you,
but I have my own business to attend to.
- But, dude, the auction ends in an hour!
Come on! This is urge!
- Why do you need my help?
- You said it yourself, bro,
you're the master of convincing.
Please.
I ain't too proud to beg.
- [sighs] Okay, fine.
- Radical. So what's the plan?
You gonna write me a speech?
Do I get to wear the blue suit?
- No, no.
The secret to convincing
is to use your strengths.
- ♪ And that's why I need
♪ The pit-stained T
I say pit!
You say stain!
Pit!
[together] Stain!
- Pit! Both: Stain!
- Whoo-hoo! Take the cash.
- ♪ The 'rents gave me money for this crusty T ♪
♪ Thank you baby bro for helping me ♪
- No problem. Now it's my turn.
- Whoa, he helped you get money from Mom and Dad?
- Yep, he's the master of convincing.
- Watch the turkey tail.
- Ooh, can you help me and Lori too?
We need a closet organizer.
- Yeah, I need a tuxedo for Mr. Coconuts.
- I require certain isotopes for my research.
- I need the preserved skeleton of an 1840s gold miner.
- Guys, I can't deal with this right now.
I have my own thing to take care of.
- Oh, we get it.
You love Luna the best.
- We'll just watch her
enjoy the thing you helped her get.
- Oh, sorry to bother you, Lincoln.
We mistook you for someone who cares about all of his sisters.
- [sighs] Okay, fine.
Now, the key to convincing is to use your strengths.
- Well, folks, you've been great.
I'd stay longer, but I have a family reunion
at the lumber yard.
Har-har-har.
[both laughing]
- Oh, Mr. Coconuts.
- I can't--I can't-- - You are too funny.
- Yeah, it's too bad he can't go to the big comedy gala.
It's black tie, and he can't afford a tuxedo.
Ah, coconuts!
- What? He has to go!
[fanfare]
- Gee, Daddy,
if you got me a new engine for my jeep,
I'd be the happiest little girl in the world.
- And I'd be her happy little grease monkey.
- Aw, how can I say no to my adorable little girls?
[fanfare]
- Behold a simulation of a future
made possible by my latest research.
- Honey, this is amazing.
[futuristic electronic music]
- True, but it can't come to fruition
until I get my hands on the necessary isotopes.
- Then you shall have those isotopes.
[fanfare]
- Wait, what is this?
[dramatic music]
- Uh-oh. There's still a few glitches
in the system, but I'm dealing with them.
[rousing music]
- Four-zip?
You are destroying me.
- That's what you get for challenging your old man.
- How about this: if I can beat you,
you buy me a new basketball hoop for the garage?
- It never hurts to dream.
[heavy rock music]
♪
- [cheers]
- Honey, can you get my wallet from my pocket?
I think I sprained-- well, everything.
- Today, we remember Lucy Loud,
who lived to be 105 but never got over
the dashed childhood dream of owning a real human skeleton.
- We get it. You can have the money.
[eerie organ music]
♪
- Need a better closet system... - Need a new closet organizer...
- Because there's an odd... - Because some stuff is hers...
- Number of shelves and even... - But some stuff is mine but...
- Okay, okay, take the money. Just please stop talking.
[dainty music]
[tears bubbling]
- [wails]
[wailing]
both: Please, take the money!
- [giggles]
- Finally. It's the master's turn.
And those are the three R's
of why you should fund my ticket to
the VIP Smooch concert tonight. A-thank you.
- Well, we always enjoy your little presentations.
- A-thank you.
- And you are looking sharp in that suit.
- A-thank you.
- And as much as we'd love to help you,
the answer is no. - Sweet.
Cash is fine, but if you need to do a check--
wait, what?
- Whoo! This baby flies now!
- That's what happens when you're
packing six ponies under the hood.
- Okay, don't panic.
You're still the master of convincing.
You just need to raise your game a little.
[engine revving]
But first, back to the dry cleaner.
Mother, if I can have your attention for just a moment.
Smooch, they've been called
one of the seminal rock bands of our time.
- No, Lincoln.
- [whistling]
- Hi, Dad. Thought you might be interested
in this graph, which shows a direct correlation
between rock concerts attended
and a tween's sense of well-being.
- No, Lincoln.
[playful upbeat music]
- You may be wondering, "What's in it for us
if we buy Lincoln that Smooch ticket?"
Well, I'll tell you.
A coupon for five Lily diaper changes.
Max two poopies. [together] No.
- I can't believe I'm not going to the concert.
Me, the master of convincing!
- What's up, bro?
- [sighs] I had a chance to meet Smooch tonight,
But I can't convince Mom and Dad to buy me a ticket.
[sighs] - How is that possible?
As you have amply demonstrated,
you are the master of convincing.
- Did you remember to play to my strengths?
- No, Leni, you play to your strengths;
he plays to his.
- Okay, just saying.
It worked for me.
My skirts look so happy.
- Wait a minute. You might be onto something.
Everything I told you guys to do worked.
Luna, can I borrow your guitar?
- You kidding me, dude? No way!
- Ah! I can't convince anyone of anything!
- I'm just messing with you, bro.
- [soft chuckle]
♪ And that's why I need
♪ A ticket to Smooch
I say Smooch, you say ticket.
Smooch! [together] No!
- Smooch! - Lincoln.
- Wait, not done yet.
What kind of flowers do you bring to a Smooch concert?
Tulips. Get it?
- No, Lincoln. - You know, tulips.
Like, "two lips."
- We get the joke.
But you still can't go.
- Not done!
If I make this shot, I get to go.
Ooh!
- Son-- - Behold.
A simulation of a future
in which you bought me a Smooch VIP ticket.
- I don't see anything.
- Please tell me this isn't the bucket
we clean the bathroom with.
- Moving on.
[rumbles]
Today, we remember Lincoln Loud,
who lived to be 150,
but never got over the dashed childhood dream
of hanging out with Smooch.
- Lincoln, please, we--
- Not done!
[dainty music]
If you get me that ticket,
I'll be the happiest wittle boy in the world.
- You're not listening, honey.
We-- - Not done!
But I really want to go-- it's an amazing opportunity--
and I know I saw them before-- but this is different because
the seats would be better-- and I'm also going to
get to go backstage and-- - Lincoln.
- Hold that thought.
[crying]
- Lincoln.
It doesn't matter how you ask us,
the answer is no.
- We'd love to get you the ticket, but we're out of money.
We gave it all to your sisters.
- Maybe if you'd asked us earlier in the day.
[music broods]
[downbeat music]
- Well, that's it.
I have officially missed the entire VIP concert.
[sighs] [knocking on door]
"VIB: Very Important Brother."
[upbeat rock music]
Huh?
- Hey, bro!
♪
One, two, three, four!
all: ♪ Lincoln Loud Lincoln Loud ♪
♪ The best dang brother anywhere around ♪
♪ Lincoln Loud Lincoln Loud ♪
♪ The best dang brother anywhere around ♪
- ♪ He helped me get this T that's sweaty ♪
- ♪ He helped me get red-carpet ready ♪
- ♪ He helped us buy that closet thing ♪
- I told you guys, I don't want to sing.
- Wow, can you believe this?
My sisters are pretty cool.
Even if I can't see Smooch,
this is definitely the next best thing.
- Ladies and gentlemen,Smooch!
- What?
♪
How did you get Smooch?
- We've learned to be pretty convincing,
thanks to some advice from the master!
all: ♪ Lincoln Loud Lincoln Loud ♪
♪ The best dang brother anywhere around... ♪
- Wow, the guys are never going to believe this.
- We wouldn't, except we're right here!
- ♪ Your sisters told us that you went so far ♪
♪ To help them out you're a real rock star ♪
♪ Everyone has had their fun
♪ The song is over so we gotta
♪ Run!
[rock musical flourish]
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-bow!
[Lily giggles]
[playful music]
♪
[bell rings] - Okay, it's almost noon, kids.
Please clean up your toys.
I have an exciting announcement.
Today you'll be getting
your very first report card.
all: Huh?
[boom] - Excellent.
The first installment of my perfect academic career.
Let's see. An A in Science.
[all giggling]
[electricity crackling]
An A in Writing.
[upbeat jazzy music]
An A in Math.
- One penny...
- That's 4 dollars and 11 cents,
or approximately 416 Japanese yen.
Also, I took the liberty of preparing your tax returns.
An A in Physical Education.
An A in Vocabulary.
And an F in Social Skills.
Perfect.
Wait--what? An F?
[dramatic music]
[gasps]
Excuse me, Miss Shrinivas,
there appears to be an error
in my academic evaluation.
If you could just go ahead and remedy that,
I'll be on my merry way.
- Actually, Lisa,
that's not an error.
You got an F because you haven't made
a single friend in class yet.
[thwack]
- I prefer to see my classmates as co-workers,
or occasionally, test subjects.
[playful sting]
Look, how can I turn this around?
In the future, when I represent Earth
in the interplanetary council,
it's gonna be acutely embarrassing to have an F
on my otherwise perfect academic records.
- Tell you what.
If you make a friend, I'll raise your grade.
- Done. [tools whir]
There, I made one.
Behold the FriendBot 1000.
It can bring me things I need.
[chimes]
Thank you, FriendBot.
It can also chill juice boxes
with its ice vision.
[chimes] [zapping]
[both yelp]
- Uh-uh, Lisa. No robots.
Humans only.
Preferably a classmate.
- Hmm, a real stickler, huh?
Very well. I will make a human friend.
However one goes about doing that.
♪
- [babbles]
- Not now, youngest sibling.
I am trying to find scientific guidance
on the forging of social bonds,
street name: friendship.
[sighs]
Unfortunately, nothing in my vast library
addresses this topic.
[doorbell chimes]
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, pal.
[upbeat funky music]
- Hmm, who needs textbooks
when I can do field research?
[video game chiming]
- And left kick, right stomp-- wait, hang on.
Oops--ugh--it goes so fast.
- Don't worry, Clyde. You're looking good.
[seedy music]
- Observation number one:
friendship seems to require compliments and flattery,
whether deserved or not.
- [grunts]
Nice snipe.
But you won't be so lucky next time.
- Observation number two:
friendship also appears to require
engaging in casual sport, and/or play.
Whoa!
[grunts]
- Look at this dress I found
in the hand-me-downs from Aunt Ruth.
- Wow! It's so outdated,
it's back to being trendy again.
You're so lucky. I wish I'd found it.
[whirring]
- Why don't we share it?
- [gasps] Great idea!
- Observation number three:
friendship requires the sharing of
goods and commodities.
- One, two, three, four!
[scatting]
[keyboard playing]
- Observation number four:
friendship requires common interests.
- Man, we are so good!
- Also, common delusions.
Okay.
Compliments, sports and/or play,
sharing and common interests.
I'm ready.
I shall befriend the first person
to walk through the door.
[groans] Not Petey Wimple.
He eats paste.
Hm, not Charlotte Yang.
She's a biter.
[gasps] Darcy Helmandollar.
She'll do.
Greetings, Darcy.
I have observed that your sneakers light up.
Though they appear to lack purpose,
I would like to compliment you on their whimsy.
- Thanks, Lisa.
I've always liked your shoes too.
They remind me of my grandpa's.
- Compliment has been administered.
Subject appears to be receptive to pursuing friendship.
Greetings.
Would you car to join me in casual sport and/or play?
- Sure! Do you like the seesaw?
- Can't say I've heard of it, but, uh, what the heck?
[seesaw creaking]
- Whee!
Isn't this fun?
- The subject's dilated pupils
seem to indicate further cementing of friendship.
- I gotta tinkle. - Oof!
Care to share my homemade kelp leather?
Full of nutrients, but zero taste,
so it goes down smooth.
- [swallows] Um, okay.
Thanks, Lisa.
It's so... chewy.
[gentle music]
[metal scraping]
♪
- Oh, I see we have a common interest
in the Giraffa camelopardalis.
- Oh, you mean Rafo.
You have a stuffed giraffe too?
- No, but I have a giraffe cerebrum
soaking in formaldehyde.
- [laughs] You use funny words, Lisa.
- Okay, class, it's sharing time.
Who wants to start?
- Ooh, ohh! I have something to share.
It's my new friend, Lisa.
- Great sharing, Darcy.
And great social skills, Lisa.
You just turned that F into an A.
- Now that my academic record is secure,
and my seat on
the interplanetary council is solidified,
I can return to my beloved research.
Have you missed me, electron microscope?
- Hi, new friend.
- Oh, uh, [stammers] right.
Greetings, Darcy.
- Are we playing scientist today?
You always make it look so fun.
- [squeals] This isn't really playing.
It's complex and potentially dangerous research.
Uh--maybe we can engage in play and/or sport later.
- Oh, okay.
I'll save you a spot on the seesaw at recess.
- Slight complication.
I failed to consider that the subject
might wish to remain friends
after I achieved my objective.
- Lisa! Lisa!
- [sighs] Although, she did help me secure that A.
- Hi, giraffe twin.
Rafo wants to play.
Did you bring your giraffe?
- Eh, mine does not travel well.
Now, if you don't mind, I do need my REM sleep.
I have a lot of short-term memories
I need to convert to long-term.
Oh, tell you what.
You, Rafo, and I can circle back
to that playdate post slumber.
Sound like a plan?
- "Naps are boring.
"Let's play now.
Maybe we can wake her up with a tickle fight!"
Lisa! My dad packed two cookies today.
One for me and one for my new friend.
- Oh, that is very generous,
but I must decline.
Spikes in blood sugar affect my mental acuity.
So just kelp leather for me today.
- That's okay. We can still sit together.
- Eh--actually, if you don't mind,
I was hoping to use snack time to brush up on my Mandarin.
I have a video conference coming up
with some colleagues in Singapore.
- Ooh! I have a book too.
Reading twins!
"That...
"cat...
s-s-sat..."
- And now to add a single drop
of the concentrated acid.
- Hi, friend! - [exclaims]
- I made you something in craft time.
- What is this bizarre shackle?
- A friendship bracelet.
I can show you how to make one for me too.
And then we can be bracelet twins.
- [sighs]Darcy.
I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make one of these.
- I know it looks hard, but I can help you.
- No-no-no-no.
See, you're a great kid, but
my lifestyle isn't really conducive
to having friends.
To be perfectly frank, I sought you out
to improve my grade in Social Skills.
Now that that objective has been achieved,
I feel it would be best for both of us
if we went our separate ways.
I do appreciate your assistance, though.
And if you ever need a reference for another friend,
I would be glad to give you a glowing recommendation.
- [whimpering] - What's wrong?
Did some of the concentrated acid get in your eye?
- No! You hurt my feelings!
[sobs]
- Oh, dear.
Darcy, please don't be despondent.
- Girls, what's going on here?
- Oh, uh, nothing to worry about, Miss Shrinivas.
- Darcy, why are you crying?
- Lisa, [sniffs]
said she didn't want to be my friend anymore.
[crying]
[moody jazz music]
- Darcy, why don't you go get Rafo
and meet me in my reading chair?
Lisa, why did you say that to Darcy?
- Look, Ms. S, I understand that
friendship is an academic requirement,
but to be honest,
I just don't see the point of it.
- I'm afraid until you do, I can't give you
that A in Social Skills.
Now, I'd like you to go sit in time out
and think about how you treated Darcy.
♪
- [sighs] Well, there goes my perfect academic record.
What am I gonna tell the other beings
on the interplanetary council?
[gasps] Now I might not even make the council!
I might have to be an alternate.
- Lisa?
I thought you might like this.
- W--why are you giving this to me?
- You looked sad.
I wanted to make you feel better.
- But why would you want to make me feel better?
- Because that's what friends do for each other.
[bell dings]
- "Because that's what friends
do for each other."
Would you excuse me just for one moment?
Research epiphany.
I have discovered the point of having friends.
Not to check off an academic requirement
or to impress a bunch of aliens,
but because friends make your life better.
Thank you, Darcy.
Care to join me?
[upbeat rock music]
♪
Hey, you want to come over after school
and play with my CAT scan machine?
- We have a kitty too.
Cat twins!
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house