- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like ping pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's gotta do what he can to survive ♪
♪ In the Loud House, in the Loud House ♪
♪ Duck, dodge, push and shove ♪
♪ That's how we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud House, in the Loud House ♪
♪ One boy, ten girls ♪
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
♪ Loud House, Loud, Loud House ♪
- Poo, poo!
♪ ♪
[bird chirps]
- Wait, how-- okay, now it's backward.
Okay, there, this party map is coming along nicely!
Oops, the cotton candy machine can't be too close
to the bounce house, or it'll be puke city.
Blech, I hope you're writing this down.
[squeaks]
Mr. Sprinkles, hello? Focus!
Eunice would kill for this job!
- [squeals]
- [screams] Oh.
[squeaks]
- Bad, Duncan! [grunts]
I'm sorry about Eunice.
I'll get her patched up for you.
By the way, this is Duncan! I'm training him!
Duncan, sit!
It's a work in progress.
So, you're planning our birthday party again, huh?
- [scoffs] I was.
- I kinda wanted to talk to you about that.
I was hoping I could plan the party this year.
[light music]
- [laughs]
[gasps] Oh, you're serious.
Listen sweetie,
party planning takes a certain je ne sais quois.
- I got a ton of that! [belches]
- Besides, I've always planned our birthday parties.
- Ugh, that's the point. You plan our party every year!
Even before we were born.
[noisemaker toots]
We always do your froufrou party.
It's only fair that I get to plan this year's, Lana style.
- Yeah, it's that last part that scares me.
- Don't worry, Sis. The party's in great hands.
Oops, sorry. Not even sure what that is.
Time to plan the best birthday party ever!
- [hisses]
- Come on Mr. Sprinkles,
we have to stop Lana from ruining the party.
But first, I'll need to take a three-hour shower.
Here we are!
Hazeltucky's finest party supply store!
Wait here. I'll make sure they're open!
- I see customers inside.
- [gasps] Those could be thieves!
Stay here where it's safe.
Midge! - Lola!
How did the Parisian table runners
go over at your tea party?
- Midge, I don't have time to talk about that.
Okay, they looked fabulous.
But listen, I have a party crisis on my hands.
I need you to hide everything poop-colored, now!
[light music]
No peeking yet!
- [pants] Okay.
- Ta-da!
Look, Lana!
So many things that are just perfect for our party, huh?
Ooh! How about this?
Tropical, fun, flirty. Mmm.
- Nah, those don't really scream "Lana" to me.
Hmm. Do you have a dumpster?
[garbage squelching]
Oh! Midge, how much for the half-eaten cheese?
It'd make a great centerpiece!
- Uh, gosh, well, I don't know.
Can I get a price check on the dumpster cheese?
- Uh, free?
- Cool! Yes!
Wow! Old batteries?
Rotting fish heads?
These would make perfect party favors!
♪ ♪
- Don't panic, Lola. This is only a minor setback.
The party can still be saved.
Okay, before we go home, let's talk entertainment.
I was thinking a Princess story time show,
a mermaid matinee, a genie in a bottle, a--
- Sorry, Lols, I actually had something else in mind.
Shortcut!
- [screams]
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Alright, everything looks to be in order.
Hang on tight, or don't.
I'm charging for the test ride either way.
- Let her rip, Flip! - You got it!
Let me give old Roy some spicy mustard.
Yeah, that really gets him goin'!
[tense music]
[bell rings]
- [yelling]
- [roaring] - [screams]
- We'll take him!
♪ ♪
- [coughs]
[bird chirps]
Ooh! How about this cake?
- Nah. - Ooh, how about this one?
- Nah. - Ooh, ooh, this one, this one.
- Nah, nah. - Okay.
- Do you have a sink and some dirt?
- Are you with the health department?
- Nope. - Then follow me.
[flies buzzing]
- We'll take it from here.
[jazz music]
[chuckles]
♪ ♪
- [gasps]
[cake squelches]
- Speechless, huh?
Well, I think that means we've found our cake!
[grunts]
What do you have for toppings?
Any worms or bugs I could sample?
- I'm sure we can find something in the pantry.
Oh, those are just some exploding candles.
Wait, be careful with those! [boom]
- [screams]
[gasps, sighs]
[sighs] I can't do this anymore.
Lana is ruining this party!
She actually thinks a pile of leaves can be used
as both a toilet and toilet paper.
[whimpers]
What am I going to do, Mr. Sprinkles?
You're right.
We're going to have to take more drastic measures.
Any ideas?
[laughs deviously]
Yes! Time to make some phone calls.
Lola Loud, you clever little minx.
[air horn blares]
- It's here, it's here!
I can't believe it's our seventh birthday!
Personally, I don't feel a day over 6 1/2.
Listen, thanks for letting me plan the party this year.
I know it wasn't easy to give it up,
but you were weirdly cool about it.
- [scoffs] Well, you just made it so easy.
- [grunts] Meet you at Tall Timbers Park!
[laughs]
- What, Duncan?
- [hisses]
- It's party time. [chuckles]
[tires squeal]
- Hey, hey, stop, guys! Come back!
Aw!
- What's going on?
- The garbage guys threw away my garbage decorations.
- [scoffs] What?
But how could they not understand
the vision you were going for?
- [sighs deeply] It's okay.
At least the bull will be here soon.
[phone rings] Hello?
- Muddy Loud kid, this is Flip.
I can't make it to the party.
I got four flapjacks and no spare!
Oh listen, I gotta go.
Roy found my pastrami sandwich,
and the thing was oozing with spicy mustard!
[screams]
- Aww.
I guess there's no bull either! All of Flip's tires are flat!
- You're kidding! What are the chances?
Oh, look, the guests are starting to arrive!
- [coughs]
Well, I better go welcome everyone.
I'll try to put on a happy face.
Hi!
[phone rings] Oh, man, what now?
Hello?
- I can't bring the cake today.
Someone tipped off the health inspector
about all the dirt and bugs at the bakery,
and now I have to clean the whole place top to bottom!
- [sighs]
- And then I said, "You call that lemon chiffon?
I do not think so!" [laughs]
Lana, aren't you going to join our party?
- This party is officially ruined.
No bull, no cake, no decorations!
- I am so sorry.
- Lola, you gotta help me out.
Is there anything you can do to save our birthday party?
- I might be able to figure something out.
[indistinct chatter]
- Whoa.
I can't believe you were able to pull this together so fast!
- Well, it's not gonna be as good
as the awesome party you had planned,
but it will have to do. [laughs]
- Hey, Lola, hope you don't mind I came back for some cake!
- Wait, you know the garbage man
who threw away my decorations?
- [stammers] Barely, I mean--
- Hey, fancy Loud kid, watch where you leave this thing!
It popped my tires, which I will be charging you for!
Ooh, Parisian table runners!
[screams]
- Lola, what was your tiara doing under Flip's tires?
- What? That's not even my tiara.
Everybody's wearing them nowadays.
- Save it! I can't believe you!
You've been lying this whole time!
The garbage trucks, the cake, the bull!
There haven't been any mix-ups at all!
You just wanted the party your way again!
It's not fair, Lola. It was my turn!
I'm taking our present from Aunt Ruth!
Enjoy your party.
Come on, guys. Let's ride.
[melancholy music]
- [sighs] - Okay, girls.
Time to blow out the candles! Where's your sister?
- I--I ruined our party and drove her away!
I gotta fix this. Stall for me, okay?
- Ha, and you said I wouldn't need this.
[scatting]
- [groans]
[tires squeal]
- Midge, I need you to bring out all the poop colors!
[grunts]
Come on, Roy, move your big bull butt!
[grunts]
Well, at least there's rotten food in here.
Party favors!
[cheerful music]
[squelch]
[tires squeal]
- No one's home, especially if you're Lola.
- Lana, open up. I know this is your "sad can."
- Go away!
- I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I should've let you have your party.
It was your chance to shine.
- You really did me dirty, Lols.
- I know, but I have a big surprise that might make up
for all of the terrible things I did.
- We're listening.
[gentle music]
[tires squeal]
- Whoa!
Wow! You did all this?
- Heh, I'm gonna smell like a farm animal for a week,
but some things are worth it.
- Thank you Lola, for the best, trashiest party ever!
- You're welcome. Now let's blow out our candles!
Happy birthday, Lans.
- Happy birthday, Lols.
- Got it! Wait, wait, wait.
One more for safety.
- I can't believe you managed
to get the exploding candles too!
- Wait, what?
[cake squelches]
[energetic music]
♪ ♪
- Hey, guys, I think I found something!
Follow me! Quick, up there!
- Make way, coming through!
[all grunting]
Hmm.
Whoa! - Oof!
[all groan]
- It was pitch black. I couldn't see a thing.
- Yeah, I don't know, fellers and Stellers.
I think we're on a goose chase.
- No way, my cousin Derek swore
there was a secret game room somewhere in this school.
- But we've checked every hallway
from here to the boiler room!
- Hey guys, over here. Check this out!
[all grunting]
[all gasp, exclaim]
- Well, hash my browns!
- I knew it!
This is where they experiment on kids!
- No, Zach, this is clearly an old news studio.
The school must have had a show or something.
- Check out the vintage news cuties!
- Dude, gross! That's my mom!
- Hey, guys, I just had a great idea!
We could be the next news team!
- So fun!
And it would be a great way
for us to spend more time together at school!
- Camera still works.
- I'm Stella Zhou and I say, let's do this!
Wait, where's Rusty?
- There's just something about those eyes of hers.
- Dude! - What?
You should take it as a compliment!
- Hey, Meryl! - Hey!
- Excuse me, Meryl.
- Uh, maybe we were in her blind spot.
- Meryl? Yoo-hoo, Meryl?
- [grumbles]
- Oh, she's watching that soap opera, "Southern Hospitality."
Jackson just came back from the dead
only to find his long-lost fiancé had fallen into a coma.
I try to stay current.
- Ooh, can't a girl get some quiet around here?
- [laughs] - Okay.
Now what do y'all noisy little jitterbugs need?
But hurry, my show's back from commercial in 30 seconds.
- Well, we found an old news set, it was pretty cool.
Rusty dented the camera when he dropped it--
- Why would you tell her that?
- We need to talk to Principal Ramirez.
It's urgent!
- Well, I don't know, she's with someone.
Ooh, it's back on. Just go on in.
- And that's why we are absolutely perfect
to restart the news show. Thank you!
- Well, I appreciate your enthusiasm,
but there's a reason we ended that news show.
Nobody watched it.
the "Daily Marsupial" called it
"a punishment worse than detention."
- But our show could be different!
- I have news experience!
- And this face was made to be on TV!
- [sighs] I don't know.
- Please give us a chance.
We already practiced our action news team pose.
- [grunts]
[all laugh nervously]
- Fine, I'll give you a shot.
- Whoo! - Oh, yeah!
- We're going live in five, four, three, two...
[energetic music]
- Good morning, Royal Woods Middle School!
I'm Lincoln Loud.
- And I'm Clyde McBride.
both: And Kangaroos, this is your news!
- Breaking news.
Today is Mr. Bolhofner's birthday.
We've got reporter Stella Zhou live on the scene!
- That's right Clyde, I'm here with the birthday boy.
Mr. B, how does it feel to turn 62?
- I'm 34!
- [laughs]
- Now, Rusty Spokes with sports.
Rusty, you're live. - [nervous laugh]
I'm here with the soccer team's captain, Lynn Loud!
- Rusty, we're trying to practice here.
- [laughs] Lynn, wait!
How are you feeling about
today's game against Hazeltucky?
- More like Hazel-lucky if they score a goal!
Don't move! I need to run a few drills.
- That's today's sports news.
Lincoln and Clyde, back to-- Oh!
both: Ooh!
- Kicking it with Lynn Loud is definitely not a goal of mine!
[both laugh]
- Let's check back in with Stella
who's learning how to whip up
that famous cafeteria one bean chili!
- I'm here with Chef Pat. - [grunts]
- And together, we're cookin' up some trouble.
Is that a shoe?
- [grunts]
- Well, that's the news for today!
- From all of us here at Action News,
have a hoppy day, Kangaroos!
[both laughs]
- That's a wrap!
all: How did we do?
- I think we nailed it!
- Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- I can't wait to hear
what everyone thought about our first episode!
- Everyone hated your first episode.
Sorry, I'm going to have to cancel the show.
- What? - How's that possible?
- Your "Action News" had no action and no news.
No one found it interesting,
except for Mr. Bolhofner, who is suing the school.
- Well, what if we can change that?
What if we can come up with a really great story
that will hook people?
- All right, I'll give you 24 hours.
- Ooh, ooh! I got the story!
We investigate undercover aliens
posing as teachers at our school!
- Still a no, Zach.
- Psh, okay, you'll be sorry
when Mr. Guggenheimer starts his invasion.
- I'm back with the snacks.
But don't hate, the vending machine and the cafeteria
were both sold out of popcorn again.
Which is weird,
'cause it's supposed to be restocked every morning.
- That is weird.
Who could be snapping up all the popcorn
before anyone else can get to it?
- Guys, this could be the story we need to save our show!
- All right! - Yeah, that's it!
[light suspenseful music]
[truck beeping
- There's the truck. Liam, start recording!
[camera beeps]
♪ ♪
Let's go!
- Make way!
[grunts]
I got him!
And he smells terrible!
- Good job Rust, you caught trash.
- And the real culprit got away.
- That's all right, we still have some good footage.
Let's go show Principal Ramirez.
- Now this is a news story!
But who's the culprit?
- Um, we don't know yet, but we're really close!
- Well, now I gotta see how this turns out.
I'll give you the rest of the week to crack it!
- Yes, you can count on the Action News Team!
[energetic music]
- [grunts]
[all laugh nervously]
- Just get out.
[truck beeping]
- There's the driver, right on time!
[all scream]
- Zach, you've been there the whole time?!
We thought you overslept!
- It's called camouflage, Rusty.
- Hey y'all, where the heck's the popcorn culprit?
[light suspenseful music]
- Guess he's a no show.
At least we can still talk to the driver.
[energetic music]
♪ ♪
Action News team! [pants]
Do you have anything to say about the popcorn situation?
- [yells]
[all panting]
- We saw you meet with someone yesterday.
Who have you been selling all the school's popcorn to?
- What are you talking about? Today's my first day.
The last guy got transferred to Indianapolis.
[all gasp]
- Popcorn perp must've arranged it.
He must be onto us.
- Wait, but why did you run from us?
- You see a weird-looking bush coming at you,
your instincts tell you to run.
- Well, what do we do now?
- We need to find a way to lure the culprit out of hiding.
- I've got a plan.
Zach, we're gonna need your tracker and Clyde's spice kit.
- If the culprit likes popcorn,
there's no way he'll be able to resist
Clyde's famous rosemary parm corn!
[all laughs]
- Okay, guys, we'll take turns watching the tracker.
Settle in. This could be a while.
- [gasps] Popcorn on the move!
It's showtime!
[tracker beeping]
[all gasp]
- Come on, let's go!
[suspenseful music]
- They're heading for the wharf!
♪ ♪
- He's making a break for Canada!
- Oh, no, he's not!
Liam, you're gonna wanna film this.
Time to shine.
[horn blares]
[screams]
- Don't worry Rust, I got it!
[school bell rings]
[locker door creaks]
- Well, without a story,
I guess this is the end of the road for the Action News Team.
Hmm? Guys, look!
It's a ferry ticket, and it's time stamped from last night!
The culprit must be in the building!
- Let's go find him.
The Action News team is back in business!
Right, we can-- we can do the pose later.
- Oh, look, y'all! A popcorn kernel!
And there's a whole trail of them!
Oh, good grits, and I thought Mee-maw was a messy eater!
[energetic music]
♪ ♪
- The door's locked! - Step aside.
Liam, you're gonna wanna film this.
Oof!
- Don't worry, Rust. I got it!
[lock clicks]
- Bingo.
- Okay, this is it. Let's do this!
Action News team. We're coming in!
- Hmm?
- Meryl?
You're the one who's been
taking all the school's popcorn?
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
I just wanted a quiet place to watch my soaps!
And nothing soundproofs like popcorn.
Oh, please don't air this, kids.
I could lose my job!
[soft melancholy music]
- We would never do that, Meryl,
even if it means we don't have a story,
which means we don't have a show.
- Aww, y'all are the sweetest.
Wait, I know of another big story that'll save your show!
- For years, it's been a legend,
but no one's been able to find it
until now!
[energetic music]
- Thanks to an anonymous tip, the Action News team
has uncovered the school's secret game room!
♪ ♪
- Whoa!
[indistinct chatter]
- Well, that's our report for today.
- We've got some games to play.
[indistinct chatter]
- Bravo!
I've been looking for this room for years!
Great work team. You can keep your show!
[all cheer]
- Now Meryl, you up for a round of air hockey?
- You bet your biscuits! [laughs]
Oh, and Zach, I owe you a new tracker.
- It's all good.
[all laugh]
- Guys, I just got a new lead on another story.
Rumor has it there's a hot tub in the teacher's lounge!
- The Action News Team is on the case!
♪ ♪
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad, but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud House, Loud House ♪
♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love ♪
♪ In the Loud House, Loud House ♪
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy ♪
♪ Chaos with 11 kids ♪
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud House ♪