- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's gotta do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
- Dad's gonna love this! - Exactly, right?
- It's perfect for his birthday!
- Awesome!
- Dang, Lols, you're really on your
rhinestone game today.
- Thank you for noticing.
Daddy's scrapbook needs a little glam.
- And a little glue.
- Best birthday present ever!
[beeping] - Red alert, people!
The birthday boy is stirring.
Hide the scrapbook! Hide everything!
all: [panicked chattering]
- Kotaro, why didn't you tell me table five is gluten free?
[gasps]
- False alarm. It was simply
an outburst of sleep talking.
all: [relieved sighing]
- Ooh, hey, check it out.
- Oh, I remember that.
That was from the time you and Dad dressed as cattle
to try to win tickets to Dairyland.
- Uh-huh. Sure ended up being
a cow-tastrophe!
But it was and udderly good time in the moo-ment!
In fact-- - Forget I asked, dude.
- Guys, you have to see what Carol Pingrey just posted.
all: [groaning]
- We don't care. And why aren't you working?
Phones down!
- No, look! That's Carol's dad.
His birthday was yesterday and she got him a sculpture
of his head made out of Belgian chocolate.
- Whoa, that's a seriously nice gift.
- I hate to be that guy, but I'm starting to think
this scrapbook isn't gonna cut it.
- Yeah, it seemed like something Dad would like,
but maybe it's kind of a lame gift.
- But what can we do now? Our time is limited.
Father's nearing the end of his REM cycle.
- Guys, the mall opens in ten minutes.
We can find a better present for Dad there.
- Noice! Let's pool our money
and buy something sick.
- Let's do this!
Okay, where should we start?
all: Ooh.
- One of these would look rockin' hanging from
Vanzilla's rearview mirror! Which should we get?
- How about a cat? Dad's always going on
about how much he loves Cliff.
- [gasps] Or a unicorn!
It's magical and special, just like Daddy.
- Wait, guys, I've got it. Remember that time we went
to the aquarium and Dad bonded with a dolphin named Kenny?
[dolphin chattering]
- Gasp. It's perfect.
all: Dolphin!
- Ooh, a porpoise. Nice choice.
- Hang on, what?
Ah, of course.
The truncated snout should have given it away.
- We can't give this to Dad. Remember that same trip
to the aquarium and the porpoise
who stole his wallet?
- Hoo-hoo! Thanks for the swim, buddy!
[porpoise chattering]
- Yeah, we couldn't get anything at the gift shop!
- This isn't gonna work, guys. We need to keep looking!
- How much for the unicorn?
[dramatic music]
- Wait! I've literally got it.
all: Dad loves fun ties!
- Ooh, my people! Why don't we get him this one?
Dad loves rocking out to retro vinyls!
- Yikes, sorry.
I got him that exact tie for Father's Day, remember?
- [squeals] How 'bout this one?
- Aw, I got Dad that for his last birthday.
- [coos] - Wait, didn't you get
him that tie as a restaurant-opening gift?
- Poo-poo.
- Wow, we sure have gotten Dad a lot of ties.
Has this gift become... a tad unoriginal?
- Hey, Loud kids,
you here to buy another tie for your dad?
- Yeah, we should keep looking.
- Hey, everybody, over here!
This guy makes customized kitchen tools.
We can put Dad's name on anything we want!
- Oh, perfect. Dad loves his name.
- Why don't we get him a new spatula?
I broke his old one when I used it to mix cement.
- Great, you can pick your customized spatula up...
mm... next Tuesday.
- Next Tuesday? What kind of a scam is this?
- You see, first we ship the spatula to a craftsman
who's trained his whole life in the art
of kitchenware engraving. He's located in Germany--
- Forget that. I can just bite Dad's
name into a spatula.
- [sighs] Spit.
- Come on, guys. We need to speed this up.
- Luan's right. We've been gone for hours.
We've already missed half of Dad's birthday!
- How about this fancy rock?
- [scoffs] It's called a geode.
[gasps] And it costs a whopping
300 clams.
- Whoa, never mind.
- You guys have to see this!
If you try sometimes, you just might find
you get what you need.
- O-M-Gosh, it's perfect!
What is it?
- It's a royal guard. Known colloquially
as a beefeater. Ideal for a father
with an affinity for all things British.
- And it's a nutcracker! Dad won't have to borrow
my upholstery hammer to smash open walnuts anymore!
- This is literally the best gift in the entire world!
Let's go give it to Dad!
Wait, where's Lola?
- The unicorn.
I would like to buy it from you.
[tires squealing]
[overlapping chatter]
- [gasping]
- Uh, what's going on?
- Kotaro, this is literally
the best gift in the entire world!
[sobbing]
- Well, he's only saying that 'cause he
hasn't seen our gift yet.
all: [laughing]
- A real life Beefeater! I can't believe it.
- His post is outside of the Tower of London.
I used all of my airline miles to fly him out here.
But wait, there's more! - [squeals]
- He's going to take you to lunch at Bangers and Mosh!
He said he'll help you perfect your British accent!
- [sobbing] This is going to be
the greatest experience
of my life! [sobbing]
- [groans] This ding-dang beef guy
just made our nutcracker look so lame.
- Between this and the scrapbook,
we are really oh-for-two today.
- What are we supposed to get Dad now?
The nutcracker was the best thing at the mall!
- Well, maybe we shouldn't get Dad a thing.
Maybe we should follow Kotaro's lead and get him an experience.
all: Ooh!
- Well, won't be needing this hunk of junk anymore.
- Lynn, we need to return that or we won't have any money.
Ah, good point. I'll go get it.
- Hey, Flip, we're looking for tickets for--
- Whoa, slow down there, chief. That's not my game.
But I do know a handsome fella you can talk to.
Welcome to Tucker's Tix and Tux!
What can I do you for?
- Okay, Tucker, we wanna buy our dad
a cool experience for his birthday.
- Well, I'm your man! What does your Pops like?
Skydiving? Horseback riding? Parasailing?
- Ooh, parasailing sounds fun.
- Dad's always said if he could choose
one superpower, it'd be flight.
- LJ, pay the man.
- Hey, wait, we're missing a dollar.
- What? I was getting hangry!
- You know, I think this experience
will mean far more to Father than a material good.
- O-M-Gosh! [tires squeal]
- What? Did I hit another trash can?
- No, look what Becky just posted.
She got her dad a parasailing experience, too.
- Ooh, yikes. More like para-failing.
[laughing]
But seriously, that looks way too dangerous for Dad.
- We need to go back to Flip's and get him something else!
Also I want some kettle corn. - Buckle up!
[tires screeching]
- Sure, I can exchange your ticket for something else.
Minus the 25% deposit, of course.
- Fine. So what can we afford now?
- Snowboarding? - Landscape painting?
- Ooh, what about this one?
A private cooking class with celebrity chef Guy Grazer!
- Sounds great! - Yeah!
- Flip, we'll take it. - Flip? Don't know the guy.
Sure sounds good looking, though.
- Wow, apparently Guy Grazer
has helped a lot of chefs improve their craft!
Ooh, there's a video from one of his classes!
- What is this literal pile of flaming garbage?
Your sauce is weak because you're weak!
- [sobbing]
- Uh, Guy seems kind of intense.
- Yeah, I don't think Dad would like this.
He's very sensitive to raised voices.
- We have to go back and get him something else!
Also, I need some sparkling water to wash down
this kettle corn. [coughs]
- And there's your refund,
minus your 25% deposit, of course.
Oh, and the restocking fee.
- Okay, guys, we don't have a lot of money left.
- Paintball? - Night at the aquarium?
- Too expensive. Actually, we may not
be able to afford anything.
- Well, how much you got? - Very little.
- Hmm, I do have one thing that might fit your budget.
- This is actually pretty fun!
- Daddy would not like this.
- Yeah, Dad's very sensitive
to, uh, whatever this is.
- Sorry, Flip, we're going to pass.
- [grunts] - No problem,
it's not for everybody.
Here's the bill for the test run.
There's a customer survey on the bottom and I'd sure
appreciate a five-star rating, eh?
- Well, we got 71 cents left.
Maybe Dad would like a side of ranch dressing?
- Man, we've totally blown Dad's birthday.
- Come on, guys. We can't give up.
There's gotta be something nice we can do for him.
- I could make him some pudding!
- I can realign his spine!
- I can teach him how to part his hair
so it covers his problem areas, you know--
[overlapping chatter]
- [sobbing] - Whoa.
- What's that? - [sobbing]
I can't believe those kids. - Aww, honey.
- Uh, why is Dad crying?
- Guys, it's obvious.
We blew off his whole birthday looking for a present.
And he doesn't even know the worst part yet,
that we never found one.
- There's only one thing left to do.
Apologize.
all: [sighing]
- [sobbing] - Hey, Dad?
- We're so sorry we ruined your birthday.
- What are you talking about?
You kids gave me-- [sobbing]
the best gift ever.
- Our scrapbook?
- Yeah, I'm sorry I opened it before you got home.
Cliff dragged it in here and blew your big surprise.
- So, you like it?
- [sobbing] I love it!
It reminds me of all the great memories
we've made together.
[stammers] Nothing could beat that.
- Actually, Daddy, we weren't even finished with it yet.
We had more memories we wanted to add...
and ten times more sparkles.
- Like the time we filled up a kiddie pool with Flippees!
- And the time we went to a 3-D movie, threw up,
and then saw it again.
[overlapping chatter]
- And I don't think we'll ever forget that time
we made you that scrapbook.
- Oh, Leni.
- [yawns]
- Thanks for breakfast, honey.
I should be back around four, after I finish
pulling Flip's wisdom teeth.
- I thought you already did that.
- He grew another set. - What?
- You know, I was thinking, the kids have been
really good this week, haven't they?
- Oh, they've been great. No calls from school...
- No trips to the ER...
- I only had to raise my voice once.
- We should do something special for the kids.
How about taking them out for ice cream when I get back?
- Ah, I love it! We could go
to Auntie Pam's Parlor.
- And you know what, I think someone's ready
for her first taste of ice cream.
- Oh, this is my favorite of all the milestones!
What do you think, sweetie? You wanna try some...
Ice cream?
- [gasps]
[incoherent babbling]
[gasps]
[giggling]
[light music]
[gasps]
[giggling]
♪
[gasps]
[giggling]
[gasps]
♪
[shrieks]
- So, ice cream sounds good?
- Darn tootin'. If today goes okay, too.
- Let's see if your siblings can behave
for just a few more hours.
'Cause if they can, it's ice cream time!
- Don't touch my glasses!
[overlapping arguing]
- [wails]
[grunts]
- Uh, Lily, is everything okay?
- Isn't this cute?
Lily's calling a sibling meeting.
- [panting]
[incoherent babbling]
- Good job, Lily. You drew an...
upside-down tree.
- [groans]
[incoherent babbling]
- I think she's trying to tell us something.
- Perhaps the infant has some trapped wind.
- [grumbles]
[shrieks]
- You guys are all wrong. She's clearly waving at us.
- I guess Lily called this meeting
just to say hi! Hi, Lily!
all: Hi, Lily!
Okay, well, bye, Lily!
[dramatic chord]
- [groans]
- ♪ Checkin' the mail
♪ Skippity bop
♪ What did we get in the latest crop ♪
♪ Ah do-do-do...
Ow, ow, ow! Ow--whoa--
[shouting]
No more ice cream!
- [screams]
[panting]
- ♪ Maybe a card, maybe a bill ♪
♪ Checkin' the mail is always a thrill ♪
♪ Ba-da-da-da! Doolity do-do-do ♪
- Lincoln, I've got a Code Denim!
- You're stuck in a pair of skinny jeans?
- I was trying to update my look,
but now I can't feel my legs!
- Mopping the floor can wait. I'm on my way!
Don't struggle, Clyde. It'll only make it worse!
both: [moaning]
- Hmph!
- I wanna watch my pageant show!
- I wanna watch my penguin show!
both: [shouting]
- Got it. - Gimme that--
both: [grunting]
[car horn honks]
- [panicked babbling]
- Lynn Loud looks downfield, but nobody's open!
She's going for the quarterback sneak!
- [gasps] - If all goes accordion
to plan, my family will glove this prank!
- [shrieks]
- [shouting]
- Yeah! [thud]
- [laughing] - [screams]
No more ice cream!
- Hmph. [whistles]
- [whines]
- [shrieking]
[triumphant music]
- And now, back to Penguin Pageants!
both: Huh?
- [whistles]
♪
- Walt, knock it off!
- [screaming]
- [groans]
Oh, no, it's a fumble!
- [gasps]
- [humming]
Well this is nice to see, everybody getting along.
And Luan's even taking a nap.
- Yep, they've been perfect all day.
Not a single mess or meltdown.
- That's all I needed to hear.
Kids, come down here, please.
You wanna tell them the surprise, or should I?
- Oh, you do it. - You guys have been
so well behaved this week, we wanted to do--
Luan, wake up-- Something nice for you.
So everybody, get in Vanzilla, because--
- I changed my mind, I wanna tell them!
We're going for ice cream!
- Awesome! - Seriously?
- Ice cream!
♪
- Ketchup, my little tomatoes!
Time to head out.
- Come beat the heat at Auntie Pam's Parlor!
But make sure you get here by 5:00.
We're closing early this week to give our scoopers a break.
Don't forget, 5:00 p.m.
One more time, 5:00 p.m.
5:00 p.m.!
- [frantic babbling]
- I-I-I know, sweetie. I'm excited for ice cream, too!
- Your estimated arrival time
at Auntie Pam's Parlor is 4:46 p.m.
- See you soon, Lily.
- [gasps] Cherry.
[car horns honking]
- There's never this much traffic on this street.
- Your new estimated arrival time is 5:05 p.m.
- No biggie, Auntie Pam's doesn't close till 8!
- [panting]
- Oh, you wanna play with Daddy's phone, Lily?
Okay, but please don't call Aunt Ruth again.
That's two hours I'll never get back.
- Rerouting. Make a U-turn
onto Oakville Road.
- Huh, look at that. Lily accidentally
found us a faster route. [chuckles]
- Your new estimated arrival time is 4:52 p.m.
[siren wailing]
- Shoot, what now?
[siren wailing]
- Ma'am, did you know your registration's expired?
I'm gonna have to write you a ticket for that.
Get comfy, this could take awhile.
- [panting]
[dramatic music]
♪
- Ah, my bike! Come back, precious!
- Uh, thanks, officer. We'll take that as a warning.
Whoo-hoo!
- Your new estimated arrival time
is 4:58 p.m.
- [exhales]
- You have arrived at your destination.
- Uh-oh. - Oh, honey,
please tell me you didn't forget your wallet.
This place only takes cash!
- [growling]
- The emergency 20! Lily, you've done it again!
all: Yay, Lily!
- Hi, can I get one scoop of vanilla ice cream, please?
- [incoherent babbling] - [laughs]
Okay, I guess she has other ideas.
One sundae, please.
- You ready, Lily? Okay, guys, I'm recording.
- I can't believe this is the last time we'll get
to introduce a little Loud to ice cream.
[sobbing]
all: [cheering]
[bird screeching]
- [screaming]
♪
- [whimpers]
- Oh, no, sweetie.
Don't worry, we'll get you a new sundae.
Uh, excuse me!
- No dice, dudes. They close at 5:00 this week.
- What? Ha, you think they'd
advertise something like that.
- [wailing]
- Aww, poor baby. Let's get you home.
all: Oh, it's okay, Lily.
Aw, Lily.
- I've never seen Lily look so sad.
- You'll get that ice cream sundae, Lily.
Perhaps when the road isn't so rocky.
Don't have a mint chip on your shoulder about this--
- Luan, read the room.
- [gasps]
- It's okay, honey. We'll be home soon.
- [groaning]
- [sniffing] Ugh, what is that?
It smells like a thousand angry skunks.
- [groans]
all: [groaning]
- Somebody needs a diaper change, stat.
- ♪ A little powder, a little wipey ♪
♪ Now you've got a fresh new dipey! ♪
- [squeals]
- [grunting]
- Whoops, we got a runner.
- [babbling] - Oh, look what Lily found.
- That gives me an idea.
- One ice cream sundae coming up.
- Don't forget the gummy bears!
- Whipped topping in the hiz-ouse!
- And some yummy cookie crumbles!
- [indistinct garbling]
- Thanks, Flip, but you're not supposed to be talking
after your wisdom teeth surgery.
- You guys, she's about to try it!
all: [gasping]
all: [laughing]
- [giggling]
[giggling]
- Hmm, if I didn't know better,
I'd swear Lily orchestrated this whole thing.
- Oh, don't be silly, honey. She's just a baby.
[laughs]
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house