- * Crashing through the crowded halls *
* Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls *
* Just to reach the bathroom on time *
* Leaping over laundry piles
* Diapers you can smell for miles *
* Guy's got to do what he can to survive *
- * In the Loud house
* In the Loud house
- * Duck, dodge, push, and shove *
* Is how we show our love
- * In the Loud house, in the Loud house *
- * One boy and ten girls
* Wouldn't trade it for the world *
- * Loud Loud Loud
* Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat music]
*
- [screams] Look what came in the mail.
The Fairway Golf University course catalogue!
Oh, what courses should I take, Dad?
Biochemistry and Bogeys, or Sand-traps and Sociology?
Ooh, yikes.
Both textbooks are 100 bucks.
- [whimpers]
Which shirt should I wear, Daddy?
The banana or the kitten?
Come on, Dad.
We said we wouldn't get sad yet.
- [whimpers]
I'm sorry, sweetie.
It's just...my baby girl is moving out soon,
and won't be around for our midnight movies.
Or our flour fights.
Or our morning cocoa dates.
- I know, Dad.
But it's not like I'm moving to Mars.
- Well, you might as well be.
That golf school is 208.6 miles away.
That's just a guess. It's not like I mapped
it out or anything.
- Dad.
- But you're right.
Let's keep our chins up and make the most
of the hang time we have left.
Well, I better get to the restaurant, sweetie.
Business sure has gotten busy.
- Yeah, you might need to hire more employees.
both: [gasp] Wait a minute.
- Why don't you-- - Why don't I--
both: Work at the restaurant?
- I get an extra employee.
- I'll save money for college.
- And we get to hang out all the time.
- Literally perfect.
[both cheering]
- [grumbles]
I'm pleased for you, but might you take your jumping
elsewhere until I finish my puffed corn?
[both cheering]
Okay, Lori-Lou,
I gotta prep food in the kitch, but you can shadow Kotaro
while he waits tables.
Then when you're felling ready, jump in.
- Sounds good, Dad.
- * My bestie's training my Lori *
* Everything at Lynn's is hunky-dory *
- [scatting]
- I can see why you and my dad are friends.
- The mark of a great waiter is being able to memorize
an order without writing it down.
Hi, I'm Kotaro.
I'll be taking care of you today.
What can I get you?
[overlapping chatter]
- Okay, so that's one turkey burger no pickles,
two orders of Lynn-sagna, a dozen mac n' cheese bites,
and...I'm gonna throw in a basket of tater tots
'cause I like you guys.
- You're cool, man. - You're getting a big tip.
- I dig your style.
- Here's a trick to save time.
Carry all the plates out at once.
Oops! Can't forget the hot cheese dip.
- Got you covered. - Isn't that heavy?
- I've been wearing a weighted hat to strengthen my neck.
[grunts]
Wow. That's literally dedication.
- Always be thinking about the customers
and what they might need.
- Waiter, I haven't gotten my bread.
- Sorry for the wait, young lady.
I wanted it to be fresh. Cheese dip?
- Make it rain.
That covers just about everything.
And if you ever find yourself in a jam,
bring out the free mints.
- Thanks for your help, Kotaro.
I think I'm ready for the my first table.
[exhales]
Oh, hi, Principal Huggins.
Hi, Cheryl. What can I get you?
- Aren't you going to take out a writing utensil?
- Nah, I have a really good memory.
- I seem to recall you struggling
to memorize your times tables,
but I'll take your word for it.
I'll have the barbecue chicken salad,
dressing on the side, and hot tea.
- And I will have the French dip and iced tea.
Heavy on the sugar, sugar.
- Got it.
Barbecue chicken salad,
dressing on the side, hot tea.
French dip, iced tea, heavy on the sugar, sugar.
- Waitress, what salad dressings do you have?
- Oh, um, let me just put
in this order, and I'll be right back--
- Do you carry ranch? - [sighs]
Yes, and we also have bleu cheese, balsamic,
Caesar, and Italian. Which one would you like?
- I didn't order a salad. I just like to know.
- [groans]
- Okay, now what did Cheryl and Huggins want?
Side salad? No.
Cobb salad with no dressing? Uh-uh.
No salad with extra dressing? Ugh.
I seem to remember a lot of sugar,
but that can't be right. Dang it.
- Busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox.
[laughs]
- Sorry, but, uh, I forgot your order.
- I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
- Uh, care for a free mint?
- [shrieks]
- [laughs nervously]
- Order up! Tables five and seven.
- Thanks, Dad.
Wait. Kotaro said to carry all the plates at once.
[panting]
I can do this. It's all about balance.
Like a possum eating a sweet tater.
[laughs]
- No, no, no.
Shoo, fly. Shoo.
[groans]
- Never mind, hon.
We can grab some fish sticks at the school, Wilbur.
- Hey, Mom. Hey, Lis.
You guys getting lunch?
- Yep. We wanted to wish you well
on your first day.
So how's it going?
- It's going...not good.
I stink as a waitress. I can't remember the orders.
I'm dropping all the food.
And every time I pass Scoots's table,
she wants some weird thing.
She just asked me to microwave some lemons
because they were too cold.
- [chews loudly]
- Fear not, eldest sibling.
I can help you with your waitressing woes.
Frankly, I could use the challenge.
It only took me seconds to solve the puzzle
on the young humans' menu.
BRB.
[loud racket]
- Lisa Marie, where are you going with my good zester?
Santa's watching!
- Please secure these to your back.
- [screams]
- Behold. Robotic waitress arms.
They balance plates,
feature a built-in pepper mill and condiment dispenser,
and the best part is, they're voice activated,
much like your smart phone.
- Wow, Lisa, thank you so much.
- I hope they serve you well.
In the meantime, may I request a booster seat?
- Coming right up.
- Can we get our bill?
- Pepper mill. Coming up.
- Wait. Pepper makes me-- [sneezing]
- Robot arms, stop, stop!
- Two chop salads? You got it.
- [grunts]
- No! That's not what I meant.
- Condiments. Coming right up.
- Lisa, help!
- Open the back panel and--
[yells]
- [grunting]
- Or that works, too.
- I'm sorry, Dad.
I'm literally a terrible waitress.
Even with robot arms.
I guess our dream of working together
isn't going to happen after all.
- Now don't give up yet, Lori-Lori-Morning-Glory.
There are plenty of other jobs you could try.
You know what, I could really use an assistant chef.
Plus, if you're back here,
we would get to hang out even more.
- [giggles] Perfect.
So what can I get started on?
- How about you, uh, give those onions the ole chippity chop.
- I'm on it. [laughs]
* Found a new job
* Luck's starting to turn
* Chopping these onions
* Eyes starting to burn
Ow, ow! Towel!
I Need a towel.
- Wait, no!
My aged rib-eye!
- [yells]
- My best friend!
- Sorry, Dad. Sorry, Kotaro.
Is there maybe a third job I can try?
So you'll have the steaks here by four?
Great. Thanks, Vera.
[gasps]
- I take it you're the valet. - Yep.
- Fancy joint.
Here. Don't ding it, chief.
- [yelps]
Just breathe through my mouth.
Come on. [yelps]
Well, that can't be good.
[engine turns and revs]
Why won't this get into gear?
[screams]
[sighs]
Maybe there's a fourth job I could try?
[screams]
[grunting]
- [yells] What the dingus!
- No!
* Better at this
- Ooh wee, that's a nice john.
I could've spent the afternoon in there.
[screams]
- Sorry! I forgot to put out the wet floor sign.
- [yells]
- Hot cheese!
Ooh, that's tasty there.
- Okay, this is the only job left.
I cannot mess this up.
All I have to do is shut it and press start.
Oh, no! I forgot the soap.
[screams]
Turn it off, turn it off!
- Oh, no, sweetie! I'll help you!
- Dad, I'm so sorry,
but I literally failed at every job.
There's nothing left for me to even try.
I give up.
[cries]
- Aw, don't worry, kiddo.
I'm sure we can still figure something out.
- No, Dad.
You should hire someone who will actually help you,
not make your job harder.
Oh, I forgot to mention I ordered more steaks
from the distributor since we lost all that rib-eye.
It should be here by four.
And I adjusted Kotaro and Grant's Saturday shifts.
No need to have them both working
in the morning when you're not busy, right?
- Oh, I--I didn't think to--
- Last thing. I posted the specials online
so customers could see them ahead of time.
- Wow, that's actually a really--
- [sighs]
- I better leave before
I mess anything else up.
- You're not going anywhere. - Huh?
- I just realized there's a perfect job for you
here after all.
Manager! - What?
- All those things you just told me about,
ordering, scheduling, promoting,
that's all stuff a great manager does.
And I could really use one.
I've been using my hat as a filing cabinet.
What do you say, kiddo?
- You really think I could be manager?
- * Slicing and dicing this kiwi *
* So fast, you can't even see me *
* I'm a blur, I'm a blur *
Ow, my finger!
- Hey, Dad, I got the tablecloths laundered.
Oh, and I found extra chairs in the basement
so we don't need to order more,
and I made the puzzle on the kiddie menu harder,
per Lisa's request.
- Wow! You did all that in a morning?
-Mm-hmm.
- Kiddo, you are the best manager I could ever hope for.
- Thanks, Dad.
I'm just glad we found a way to spend more time together.
- Aw, me too, sweetie.
Let's make the most of it while you're--
[whimpers]
still here.
[laughter]
- Oh, I did one more thing.
Took care of our most difficult customer.
- Sick ride.
- Now, that's a hog.
- Scoots just needed some friends.
- Let's get a round of hot cheese dip,
and I'll tell you guys about the time I took this hog
all they Vegas!
all: Ooh!
[upbeat classical music]
*
- [laughs]
Yeah!
Charles, fetch!
- [panting]
- [coughs]
Whoops. My bad.
Mm, something smells good in here.
- Well, well, if it isn't Lana Loud
in her natural habitat.
- Oh, hi, Lacey.
I didn't know you had a dog.
- [scoffs] Victoire isn't just a dog.
She's a purebred Maltese from a long line of champions.
- Aww. Nice to meet you, Vicky.
Hey, Charles, come say hi!
- [gasps]
Victoire, stay away from that classless mutt.
- Hey, don't talk about my Charles like that.
- I was talking about you.
But your dog's no prize, either.
- [gasps]
- Funny how pets resemble their owners, no?
[growls]
You don't know what you're talking about.
Charles is a great dog.
No, the best dog.
- Care to prove it?
The Royal Woods Dog Show is next weekend,
and the champion gets a fabulous gold trophy.
I know because there are three
in Victoire's dog house right now.
- Well, don't count on a fourth,
'cause this year, that trophy's going to Charles.
[both laughing]
Well, best of luck, I guess. Come on, Victoire.
We're late for your eyelash curling appointment.
- Don't worry.
We'll show that snob, and her little dog, too.
Okay, so I found this video of last year's dog show.
This should tell us everything we need to do to beat Vict--
Vic--you know who I'm talking about.
- Welcome to the 75th Annual Royal Woods Dog Show.
Today, the canine crème de la crme
will vie for the coveted title of Champion.
To win, they'll need to give a perfect performance
in the Agility Class,
Show off their fanciest frills in the Costume Class,
and be on their best behavior in the Class Class.
- Okay. Wow.
Don't know what I was expecting, but...
we've still got this. Right, Charles?
- [snoring]
- Uh-oh.
First up is the Agility class.
Hey. Hey.
I built a replica of last year's course
so you can practice.
Remember. The goal is speed and precision.
And go!
Uh, yeah, maybe I should demonstrate.
Whoo!
Seven seconds.
Think you can beat that, Charles?
- [barks] - Charles?
Shoo, shoo!
And go!
We're not swinging right now, bud.
You gotta jump through it.
Here, let's try the tunnel.
If you can run from this end to the other,
I'll give you lots of ear scratchies.
- [barks] - [groans]
Okay, for the dress-up part,
I was thinking you could wear one of Lily's
old Halloween costumes.
Here, this isn't so bad.
- [growls]
- come on.
Just try the bowtie.
- [yelping]
- [screams]
- [snarling]
- Okay, boy, now I'm going to show you
how to behave for the Class Class.
I'll be the dog, and Lincoln will be the owner.
See?
He's wearing a suit
without making a big stink about it.
- This is actually for Lucy's mock funeral later.
- Shall we begin?
- Lana.
Heel.
Very good.
Now shake.
Speak.
- Ruff.
- Good girl.
- See, Charles? It's easy.
How about showing us a nice heel?
- [barks]
- Ugh. You again?
Scram, flutter face.
Okay, now where were we?
Oh, right. Charles, shake.
[groans]
come on. I know you can do this.
[clears throat]
Charles, speak.
- [coughing]
- [barks]
- This isn't funny.
If you don't start acting like a show dog,
we're never going to beat Lacey and Victoire.
Don't you want to prove them wrong?
[sighs]
- [groaning]
Lana, just the person I've been looking for.
My engine's been making this weird nose,
kind of like...
[gibbers]
Hey, what's wrong?
- I'm just trying to get Charles to win
this fancy competition thing, but it's hopeless.
Let's have a look at your engine.
- No, no, no. Did you say fancy competition?
Tell me more.
- Well, Lacey St. Clair thinks her dog is better than Charles
just 'cause she's won a bunch of trophies.
So I told her Charles could win a trophy, too.
But he's gotta act all classy and dignified and--well...
- [grunting]
- Like I said. Hopeless.
- Not necessarily.
I have seen some miraculous transformations
in my pageant career.
- Hmm. He's got the bone structure.
All he needs is a little focus and self-discipline.
- How do I teach him that junk?
- Tell you what.
You fix my engine, and I'll train Charles myself.
- Really?
- I should warn you.
I take competition very seriously.
No messing around.
- Whatever it takes to beat those snobs.
- Give me 48 hours with him.
Come along, Charles. You answer to Coach Lola now.
- Whoops. Guess I should wake him before the funeral.
- Actually--
- [yells]
He's fine just like that.
[upbeat classical music]
*
- Come on, Lola. Where are you?
- Hold your horses.
We had to stop for a tongue scraper.
- [gasps]
Charles, is that you?
- Go ahead, Charles. Shake.
- [gasps]
Good job, boy!
That deserves some ear scratchies.
- That's right, Charles.
We don't want to mess up our fur.
- Well, well.
if it isn't Lana Loud and her mangy dog Ch--
[gasps]
Wait, you got a new dog?
- Nope. This is my Charles.
- Oh, good.
You'll want to have practiced that face when he wins.
[laughs]
- Come on, Victoire. I want to re-fluff your bangs.
both: [chuckle] We so got this.
- A flawless run by our returning champion,
Victoire St. Clair.
A joy to watch, as always.
- Next up-- oh, we have a newcomer.
Charles Loud.
- You nervous, boy?
Want a good-luck hug?
- [scoffs]
- [whimpers]
- On your mark, Charles.
And...begin!
[upbeat classical music]
*
And he sticks the landing!
Very nice.
- Way to go, boy!
Oh, right, right. The fur.
- Come along, Charles. The Costume Class is next.
- [laughs]
Good luck getting him into that.
*
- [gasps] - Beautiful.
[applause]
- Charles, sit.
Charles, shake.
Charles, speak.
- [refined bark]
- Stunning. Simply stunning.
- [whispers]
- Uh, Charles, pour the tea?
[audience oohs and ahhs]
- Amazing! - Why, I never.
- This dog is really putting the class in the Class Class.
The judges have tallied their scores,
and the Champion of this year's Royal Woods Dog Show is...
Ooh! In a shocking turn of events,
we have a tie
between Victoire St. Clair
and Charles Loud!
[all gasp]
- How do you decide the winner?
Do they wrestle for it?
Do I wrestle Lacy for it?
- [laughs]
We do a walk-off.
Each dog will take one last trot
around the ring for the judges.
Victoire, as reigning champion, you will go first.
- [grumbles]
- A walk-off?
Oh, this calls for more hairspray!
I keep some in my glove box. Be right back.
- We got this, Charles.
Just one more walk to win the trophy,
then we can go celebrate any way you want.
Maybe go digging for some trash hoagies?
You like that?
- [gags]
- Oh. Okay.
Well, how about we find some mud to rill in?
- [growls]
- No?
But you love that.
What's wrong?
That stuff used to make you so happy.
Look, I know I made you get all fancy for the show, but...
you're still my muddy buddy, right?
- [growls]
- [sniffles]
What have I done?
I can't believe I lost my Charles
just to prove something to a snob.
I get you don't do hugs anymore,
but I really need one.
[sobbing]
- [sniffs]
- What is it, boy?
Your old tennis ball!
You remembered.
Aww, I knew my dog was in there somewhere.
- Lana, Charles, the crowd awaits.
- Actually, I think we're done here.
- [yells]
- But don't you want your dog
to be a champion?
- Nope. I just want him to be himself.
Want to get out of here, boy?
[laughing]
Thanks for all your help, Lola,
but Charles and I have a date at the park.
- You're walking away from a trophy?
Who does that?
- [barks]
- Well, well.
If it isn't Lana Loud and her mangy dog,
back to their usual grossness.
- Yep. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.
- [screams]
[laughter]
- * Cramped inside this tiny space *
* May sound bad but ain't the case *
* In the Loud house - * Loud house
- * Duck and dodge and push and shove *
* That's the way we show our love in the Loud house *
- * Loud house
* Laundry piles stacked up high *
* Hand-me-downs that make me cry *
* Stand in line to take a pee *
* Never any privacy
* Chaos with 11 kids
* That's the way it always is *
* In the Loud house