- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[rock music]
♪
- Now don't forget, class,
parent-teacher conferences are tonight from 6:00 to 8:00.
Oh, Lincoln, I'm looking forward to seeing your parents.
It's very important that I speak with them.
- [gulp] Uh, but, I--
- Gotta run.
I'm meeting my mother for vinyasa yoga.
[sighs] She's going to know I haven't been practicing.
Woman can bend like a pretzel.
- Clyde, what could that mean?
- I think vinyasa's the kind of yoga that focuses on flow.
- No, what awful thing is Mrs. J gonna tell my parents?
[gasps] It's probably about the time I called her Mom
instead of Mrs. J.
[gasps] Or the time I fell asleep
during the video about string.
[gasps] Or maybe it's something so bad
I blocked it from my memory. [gasps]
- Here, breathe, buddy.Breathe!
- I dunno why you're freaking out.
We've all called Mrs. Johnson "mom" before.
- [groans]
Sometime between 6:00 and 8:00 tonight,
my life will be over.
- Hi, y'all.
Okay, here's the signup sheet for tonight's conferences.
Tell your parents to get here early
'cause it's first come, first served.
- First come, first served?
Maybe there's a way my parents won't have to meet Mrs. J,
but I'm going to need your help.
- You got it, buddy. - No problem.
- You got it, man. - I'm in.
- Lincoln, it's almost 6:00. It's time to go.
- Great, I'm all set.
- Pants?
- What? [groans]
Totally forgot 'em. One sec.
- Hurry, son.
We don't want to be the last ones on the signup sheet.
- Uh, Lincoln?
- Dang it. Almost had it.
[groans] Huh?
[both groan]
[crowd clamoring]
- Aww, we got the last ding-dang slot.
- Welcome, y'all.
Now parents, you stay here and mingle
while you wait to meet with Mrs. Johnson.
And kids... [whistles]
Follow this party train to the cafeteria.
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chug! Chew with your mouth closed.
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga!
- Hey, you must be Zach's folks.
What a fun use of tinfoil.
- It's to pick up alien signals.
- Okay, phase one was a success.
My parents are the last on the list.
You guys ready for phase two?
- Oh, heck yes. I love that game.
- No, no, no, phase two of the plan.
Getting our parents to stall Mrs. J,
so there won't be any time left for Lincoln's parents.
- Okay, Rusty, your dad is up first.
- Watch and learn, guys.
- Mr. Spokes, you're up, hon.
- Dad, got a hot tip.
Mrs. J's been looking to upgrade her wardrobe.
- Ha-cha!
This is why a good salesman
always carries samples in the car.
- Spokes, you're a genius.
[squeaking] Huh?
- She hates polyester,Rust.
- Why would she not want a timeless material
that never shrinks or wrinkles?
Sorry, Linc, I tried.
- Step aside, Rust. Leave it to the pros.
- Mr. and Mrs. Gurdle, you're up.
Ooh, I love those hats.
It's like walking around with a couple baked taters.
- Mom, Dad, just wanted to warn you.
Mrs. J has been acting strange lately,
even...alien-like.
Well, have fun.
- Mr. and Mrs. Gurdle. Have a seat.
both: We prefer to stand.
- Uh, oh, okay.
Well, Zach's a great student.
Uh, and he has a very active imagination.
Last week he made up a cute story
about the Abominable Snowman
working as a hot dog vendor in Kentucky.
- That's not a story.
We're planning a family trip to see him next summer.
- Oh, well, I-- Uh, is that my coffee mug?
-Just grabbing a quick DNA sample.
Now, may I see your hands for a moment?
I'd like to harvest a few of your fingernails
for closer inspection.
- [chuckles]
- Sweet! - Awesome.
- Way to go. - Nice job.
- Wow, Zach.
Your parents took up 20 minutes.
Clyde, you're next. What's your plan?
- Oh, don't worry, Lincoln. With my dads, I don't need one.
- Welcome, McBrides. Well, I'll keep it brief.
Clyde is an excellent student and a delight in class.
Thank you for coming.
- Actually, we have a few questions
about classroom safety.
Life jackets under the desks, you have them, yes?
- Well, actually--
- What's the UV rating on these windows?
We assume you provide the students with sunblock.
- Well, Mr. McBride, we--
- And what about chalk dust levels?
- Nice one, Clyde. Another 30 minutes down.
Liam, ready for your turn?
- Yup, I asked my Mee-Maw to bring Carol Anne,
so we'll be as golden as a fresh batch of biscuits.
Especially if Carol Anne finds the present I left in my desk.
- You must be Liam's Mee-Maw. I've heard so much about you.
- Oh, likewise, Mrs. Johnson.
[goat bleats] - Uh, and this is...
- Oh. Carol Anne. She's due any day now.
Oh, she'll be fine.
As long as she doesn't eat anything spicy.
[alarm blares]
[goat bleats, yells]
Whoo-whee, we're about to have us some goat babies.
Clear your desk, Mrs. Johnson. We need a birthing bed.
[popping, goats bleat]
- Aw, they're so cute. - Congrats, Liam.
- This is great.
Only 15 minutes left until the conferences are over.
- Don't worry,
my parents will take at least that long.
- Stella? - Mom, what are you doing here?
- Your dad just got kicked by an angry mama goat.
- Oh, my gosh.
- We have to take him to urgent care.
- Sorry about your dad, Stella.
Okay, not gonna panic.
I can still find a way out of this.
- Louds, you're next.
- [gasps] Oh, no. This is it.
- Oh, be right back, Mr. and Mrs. Loud.
Just going to run to the restroom.
- If only we could keep her from coming back.
- I could make up a diversion. - Are you sure?
I thought deception makes your stomach hurt.
- It's worth a pot of chamomile tea
to keep my bestie out of trouble.
- I'll help. I just like making stuff up.
- Uh, still one problem. Your parents.
They're not going to leave without seeing Mrs. J.
- Hmm!
And that's who they're gonna get.
- What if I say the wrong thing
and your parents catch on to me?
- Don't worry.
I'll be under the desk in case of an emergency.
- Oh, good.
Don't tell my dad,
but I see why Mrs. J digs these natural fibers.
So breathable.
- Mrs. Johnson!
Quick, there's a grammar emergency
that needs immediate attention.
[stomach growls, groans]
- Clyde, it looks like this question
is eating away at you.
I'll help, but only for a second.
I need to finish my last conference.
- Oh, Mrs. Johnson, you're back.
Must've scurried in here quieter
than a fox in a henhouse.
Is that new lipstick? Ooh, I love a bold red.
- [chuckles]
Um, hello. Have a seat.
- So, how's our Lincoln doing?
- Well, uh, he's a good student and that's about it.
Thanks for coming.
- Uh, wow.
This is the fastest parent-teacher conference
we've ever been to, and we've been to a few.
- Well, it's nice to hear that Lincoln's doing well.
Have a good night.
You're reading "A Horse Named Javier"?
My book club can't put it down. What's your favorite part?
- Oh, uh, I liked the part where he was, uh...
[horse neighs]
Galloping, but then he... grew wings and started to fly.
But he said, "No, Javier.
Go back to being a horse again?"
- Hmm. Interesting interpretation.
- Anyway, thanks for coming in. Drive safe.
- Oh, namaste.
I didn't know you were a fellow yogi.
- Huh? - Do you mind taking a look
at my grasshopper pose? I'm not sure I've quite got it.
Might help to see how you do it.
- Thanks for explaining the difference
between further and farther.
I'd love to discuss it further .
- You're welcome, Clyde,
but we should also discuss
what constitutes a grammar emergency.
Now I really have to get back to my conferences.
- Wait, what about who and whom?
Lincoln, we've got a problem.
Mrs. J's heading back to her classroom.
- [groans] Am I doing the legs right?
- Uh, uh...
- Rusty's stuck here. We're sunk.
- Don't worry, guys. I got this.
Will the owner of a white sedan
please report to the parking lot?
Your car is being towed.
- [gasps] My car!
[car remote clicks] Oh, Daisy, you're okay.
I guess it was someone else's car.
Dang it.
- Thanks for the assist, Mrs. Johnson.
You are quite the yogi.
- And you should come to my book club.
We could use a fresh perspective.
- Oh, uh, I--
- Ah! Mrs. J!
both: Rusty? - What is going on, Mr. Spokes?
- Wait. Ow!
This isn't his fault. It's mine.
both: Lincoln?
- I've been stalling the conferences all night
because I was afraid of what Mrs. Johnson
was going to tell you about me.
I'm so sorry, Mrs. J,
and I accept whatever punishment you think I deserve.
- I think a week's detention should do the trick.
- Followed by a week of being grounded at home.
- [sighs] - So, Mrs. Johnson,
what were you going to tell us about Lincoln?
- Oh, only that he's a very resourceful
and creative student.
And tonight, in a weird way, proves that.
- I'll take it.
- Well, you all have a good evening.
- Now hang on, Mr. Spokes.
I'm afraid you've earned a little punishment yourself.
- [gulps]
- Wow, Agnes, you really have been practicing,
and I love that new lip color.
- Well, thank you, Mother. [strains]
[upbeat music]
♪
[rooster crows]
- Good morning, Mr. Coconuts.
- Wow, you're extra chipper today.
What's the occasion, doll?
- Today is my first official date with Benny, remember?
- Oh right, how could I forget?
- What should I wear? Maybe these gag glasses?
Always a classic.
Or what about this mini top hat?
[gasps, yells]
- Geez, the hat doesn't look that bad.
- No, look, I have a huge pimple.
I can't let Benny see me like this.
Oh, why didn't you say anything?
- I didn't notice, but I can certainly see it now.
Yowzers! Hello, operator?
Get me NASA. I just discovered a new planet.
- Not helping, Mr. C.
- Okay, take a deep breath.
Pimples are literally no big deal,
and plus, Benny should like you for who you are,
not what you look like.
- Maybe you're right.
- Good golly, Miss Molly. That thing's a monster.
- It is?
- Monster, where?
Aw, it's just a zit, but man, is it huge.
Can I pop it? Can I pop it please?
- Uh, popping that beast will spread the bacteria.
- Wait, isn't your date with Benny today?
- Yes, so I've got to get rid of this.
Can you guys help me?
Please?
- I still don't think you should worry about it,
but if it's literally that important to you, I'll help.
According to "16 1/2 Magazine,"
this pimple patch should vanish your zit
in five seconds or less.
- Hit me.
- Three, two, one. Rip it.
- Did it work? - Of course it didn't work.
We in the scientific community
refer to these ludicrous claims as malarkey.
- [groans]
- But don't fret. I've got your back.
[beep, machine whirrs]
- Ah!
- [gasps] Is this safe?
- In the hands of a skilled professional like me,
you have nothing to worry about.
- [yelling]
- Dang it. - Oopsie daisy.
This skilled professional owes you a scrunchy.
- And some lumber for a new mug!
- [panting]
[whistle blows]
- Faster!
Do you wanna sweat that nasty pimple out or what?
- Are you sure this is gonna work?
- Margo's older cousin said it does, so it has to be true.
- [yells]
- Wait, Margo's cousin also said the Jaguars
were gonna win the title this year and they beefed it again.
Yeah, sorry. - [groans]
- Spirits of skincare, take this cookie.
I mean, human heart
in exchange for the removal of Luan's pimple.
- Oh.
- Sorry, Luan, the spirits seem to be busy.
- Yeah, it must be zit season.
- Rip Hardcore says that frozen meat
reduces swelling for bug bites,
so maybe it works for pimples too.
[dog barks]
- No, Charles. That's not for you.
- [yelling]
- Yowzers!
That thing's takin' up so much real estate on your face,
you might wanna think about charging it rent.
- Oh, what am I going to do?
My date's in a half an hour
and I'm no closer to getting rid of this thing.
- Guess you'll just have to trust he likes you,
zits or not.
- Wait, if we can't get rid of it,
maybe we can cover it up.
- Hmm, I'm gonna need you to back up, sweetie.
- Miguel is the makeup master.
You should've seen how he transformed Scoots
for the Sunset Canyon Formal.
- A little finishing spray and voila.
Dazzling and date-ready. How much do you love it?
- I can't even see the zit. - Spectacular.
- Thanks Miguel. You really are the master.
- Oh, thank you for providing the canvas.
Here are some samples in case you need a touch up
during your date.
- Hey, ya can do something about this burn?
Her sweetheart might be bringing my sweetheart
along for the date.
- Love a girl who can rock a petticoat.
I think we can fix up your noggin.
- [groans]
- [coughs]
Lola, how many perfume samples did you take?
- What? The sign said help yourself.
- [gasps] We're here.
You guys are the best. Thanks again for your help.
- Have a great date. - You got this.
- Benny's a lucky dude.
- Wait! Anyone got a breath mint?
[all coughing]
- So what's on the agenda?
I saw a photo booth back there.
We should jump in and give it a go.
- And memorialize this gross thing forever?
I don't think so.
[gasps] There he is.
[romantic music]
♪
- Hey, Benny. - Hi, Luan.
These are for you. They're from our garden.
- Wow, daisies.
[sniffs] Ah, they smell so fresh.
- And this is for you, my lady.
- [gasps] Oh, wow, wood polish.
Mmm, smells so musty.
- So, Luan, you ready for a fun day?
- Are you kidding me?
She's been counting down the seconds.
- [chuckles]
- Hoo, oh, paddle boats are way harder than I thought.
I'm getting a little sweaty here.
- Oh, no. Am I sweating, too?
[gasps] Oh, uh, don't go anywhere.
I'll be back in a splash.
[chuckles]
- Luan's hilarious.
You just never know what she's going to do next.
- Indeed, Benjamin. She's a keeper.
- Oh, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.
- Hey, Luan.
Are you having the best time ever?
- No, the worst. I sweated all my makeup off.
Can you bring me those makeup samples from Miguel
and meet me in the park bathroom?
[all gasp]
- Lola used up all the makeup! - What?
Mr. Sprinkles wanted to see
what he'd look like as a princess.
Dashing, I might add.
- [sighs]
Just grab my emergency clown bag
in the trunk and hurry.
- Look, the photo booth is open.
We could snap a few.
- [groans] Not now, Mr. C.
- Hey Luan, is this the right bag?
Yup.
- Sorry, Lincoln.
Now where's my face paint?
[upbeat music]
[horn honks]
- [chuckles] Love the new look.
- Oh, you know me.
Always clowning around.
- Wow, Benny, this picnic is so nice.
- Care for a macaron?
My mom and I made them last night.
- Yes, please.
- And he bakes? Hang on to this one.
- Hey, look, a clown. - I'm gonna get you.
- Um, I'll be right back.
[children cheering, laughing]
- Turns out it wasn't a great idea to dress like a clown
in a park full of small children.
I need a new cover for my zit. - Copy that.
Cover, cover, cover.
- Get your Flippees here.
Now also serving hot dogs.
And for a limited time, cotton candy.
- [snap]
- Ho, ho, ho.
Got any more of those cookies for Santa?
- Wow, all the way from the North Pole.
Wanna play some chess?
Hmm.
[fly buzzes]
- [groaning]
[gasps]
[chuckles]
Hmm, if I move my bishop here...
And just leave your rook flapping in the breeze?
But then Luan will probably move her queen there.
- Hey, scram, would ya? This is my turf.
- Sorry. Gotta pee real quick.
- Oh, oh, okay. We'll be here.
- What do you think of my new look?
Too corny?
- No, I love it.
Okay, I finally made my move. It's your turn.
- Hmm.
[horse whinnies] Huh?
- Looks like somebody's got a crush.
- Uh oh.
Sorry, I, uh, gotta go, uh, charge my phone.
- But you just got back,
and we don't have that much time left.
- Won't be long.
[yelling]
[grunts, horse whinnies]
Oh, no. [grunts]
Mayday. I need your help.
- Okay, everybody. On the count of three.
One, two, three.
- Whoa!
- Are you okay? - I've been better.
- Luan?
- Benny at 6:00! [grunts]
- Everybody, form a wall.
- Uh, hey, Luan, and all of Luan's siblings,
is everything okay?
I'm really sorry, but my mom is on her way to pick me up.
- No, I'm sorry.
Today was supposed to be about spending time together,
but now our date is almost over,
and I've spent the whole time hiding from you.
- Why have you been hiding? - Oh, I'll show you.
- What? - No!
- Guys, it's okay.
I've been hiding this.
- [yells]
- I understand if you don't want
to hang out with me anymore.
I mean, who wants to date a girl
with a gross pimple on her cheek, right?
- Um, I do.
I don't care if you have a pimple.
You're still you.
You're sweet, you crack me up,
and you're so much fun to hang out with.
- Oh. [chuckles]
- So romantic.
You wouldn't happen to have a little brother, would you?
- All right, let's go.
- Pimples are no big deal. They're just a part of life.
- You're right.
Thanks for making me feel better.
I'm sorry I wasted our whole date obsessing about this.
- Well, we still have five minutes
before my mom gets here.
- Ooh. I know what we should do.
[camera shutter clicks]
[both laugh]
- Wow, these turned out great.
I'm gonna hang a copy in my locker.
- I was thinking the same thing.
- I had a really nice time with you today.
- Me too.
[machine beeps] both: What the...
[ominous music]
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house