- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
♪
- Okay, you answered "A" for nine questions,
which means the color of your aura is teal!
- Oh, it so is! Look at my dress.
- Heyo! Mail call, people.
Lana, mud of the month club.
Nice grab.
Charles, bone of the month club.
Lisa, bacteria of the month club.
- [grunts]
- Ooh, Lori.
Something from Fairway University.
- Oh! This says the deadline
to officially enroll for fall semester
is next week.
- Why the bummed look, dude?
Thought you were psyched to go to Fairway.
- I am![laughs]
I think.
It's just--it's such a big decision
and I'm not totally sure it's the right school for me.
- I know what might help you decide.
Why don't we visit the campus?
- Great idea, hon. We could make a day of it.
- Yeah, let's do it! - Why not?
- Ooh. Ronnie Anne said her Tio Carlos
has been guest lecturing there.
Maybe she can meet up with us.
- I'm sure you'll decide to go to Fairway, Lori.
Moving away from this podunk town is my dream.
[overlapping chatter] - Follow your heart.
- I can't wait till I get to go to college, dude.
- Aw.
Hey, do you have a sec?
I usually go to Lori for advice,
but this is about her, so...
[sighs]
I'm really worried
about Lori going to Fairway.
How am I supposed to survive without her?
Ugh, you're such a chatterbox with Luan,
but the one time I need you, you're silent?
Fine! I'll talk to someone else.
[door slams shut]
I mean, Lori and I do, like, everything together.
We've been BFFs since before I was even born.
[sighs]
If there's no Lori,
who am I going to take magazine quizzes with?
Or gossip with?
What should I do?
- [grunting]
- You think I should fight Lori?
- Uh-uh.Uh-uh.
[speaking gibberish]
- Ew! Gross.
[gasps] Oh, I get it.
I just need to show Lori that Fairway is actually terrible.
And this campus tour is the perfect chance to do it.
Lily, you're a genius.
- [chuckles]
[overlapping chatter]
[all gasp]
- [squawks] Reunited and it feels so good.
- Hey, guys.
I didn't know Sergio was coming.
- Neither did we.
- I'm a stowaway.
- Bobby's sorry he couldn't make it.
He's kind of stuck at the mercado.
- Aww, Boo-Boo Bear.
- Oh, great seeing you, Louds.
I have to get to my guest lecture
on the maturation of Bermuda grass
and its utility in creating an eco-friendly golf course.
I'm in Hall B if anyone wants to see it.
[overlapping chatter]
- Oh, oh!
Who wants to check out the campus store?
[affirmative chatter]
- Have fun!
Ronnie Anne and I are gonna go
make skate videos.
- Hi. Welcome to Fairway University.
I'm your tour guide, Raj.
We'll be puttering around the campus together.
[both chuckle]
Now, which one of you
is the famous Lori Loud?
I heard a lot about you.
Coach Niblick said you're the most promising golfer
he's seen in a long time. - [giggles]
- Now, are you ready for the tour?
- Okay. - Let's check it out.
- And this to our left is Wedge Hall.
- [gasps]
O-M-gosh, Lori.
They make you wear a uniform here,
and it's so ugly.
- Um, Leni,
I'm literally wearing the exact same outfit.
- [speaking indistinctly]
- [laughs nervously] Yeah.
- Oh, that's not a uniform.
It's just what the students like to wear.
- Wow. I already fit in so well.
- [sighs]
- Fairway is a golfer's dream.
We've got an 18-hole course,
par 72, and three putting greens.
- Ew, Lori!
The swimming pool here is so gross.
- Oh, Leni. That's not a pool.
That's a water hazard.
- [squawks] - Huh?
- Brought the party!
- We do have a bird problem.
But we like to think they help us
get birdies on the holes.
- [snorts laughing]
That is literally
the funniest thing I've ever heard.
- [breathing heavily]
both: Whoa!
- Perfect. Start filming.
[grunts]
[birds squawking]
[grunts] Whoo-hoo!
Did you get it?
- Got it!
[frog ribbets]
- This is our freshmen hall.
You'll share this bathroom
with nine other women on the floor.
- [gasps Lori.
That would be so hard.
Sharing one bathroom with nine other people!
Who could even?
- Um, Leni, you do realize our family of 13
shares one bathroom, right?
[gasps] Three sinks?
Wow.
This bathroom is a serious upgrade for me.
- [groans]
- [gasps]
[grunting]
Whoo! - Got it.
- Eh?
Aw, come on, Lola.
You can't hate all of these.
- Maybe your head just isn't the right shape for hats,
how about a Fairway pencil?
- Eh?
- Fine. - Yes!
- And here we've got a great selection
of T's, tees, and teas.
[both giggle] - [scoffs]
- So funny.
- This day hasn't gone at all like I thought it would.
Lori wants to go to Fairway more than ever.
[sniffles] Aw.
[gasps]
But what if Fairway
didn't want Lori to go to it?
[upbeat music]
♪
- Hi! Can I, Lori Loud,
have a glass for a free cup of water?
- Sure!
- Look at me. Stealing lemonade.
Lori Loud is such a rule-breaker.
- Oh, actually, all the fountain drinks
in the cafeteria are free.
- [gulping] Whoo-whoo!
- [sighs]
- Whoa. Looks like Lori Loud
is stealing these banana nut muffins.
- Hey! - Oh, no.
Am I in trouble?
You should probably call the campus police.
- [giggles] No.
I just wanted to tell you
that it's Pastry Palooza Week.
The muffins are free.
Do you want a to-go box?
- Forget it. I lost my appetite.
What do I have to do to mess up Lori's reputation?
- [chewing noisily]
- Coach Nibbles.
The guy who gave Lori her scholarship.
He could keep Lori from coming here next year.
- [grunting]
- Whoa!
- Is that Lori Loud?
- Why, yes! It is her.
I mean she.
I mean, I'm Lori Loud.
- Why don't you take the first swing?
- With pleasure.
Whoo! Oh, oh, I mean,
oh, no.
[frog ribbets]
- [gasps]
You just got a hole-in-one, Lori.
- [laughs nervously]
[groans]
[grunts]
[alarm blares]
- [gasps, grunts] - [grunts]
- [gasps]
That is the most incredible
hole-in-one I've ever seen.
You will be a credit to our fine institution.
- [laughs nervously,groans]
Okay.
I can't risk getting another hole-in-one.
[yells, groans]
- Keep your eye on the ball.
- [grunts] Whoops!
- Now, your hands must be sweaty
from the excitement of those hole-in-ones.
[crashes] [person yells]
- Eh, Lori? Are you feeling well?
- I think I suddenly have
amnesia!
I don't remember how to golf.
- Are--are you sure?
Here. Take this.
Perhaps it'll jog your memory.
- [eating noisily]
- No, no! That's not food!
- Actually, I don't recognize any of this stuff.
Wow.
If I can't do golf,
maybe I shouldn't come to golf school.
- Are you certain?
Well then, I'll have to make the call
to offer your scholarship to another student.
Oh, I was really rooting for you, Lori.
- [squeals]
- Wow, Lincoln.
This footage is amazing.
Sorry if you got a little banged up.
- It was worth it.
- Oh, Leni.
Look what I found in the book store.
I was thinking we could set up
a time to chat on the phone every night.
So we can still do our magazine quizzes together.
- Won't you be too busy for that?
- [laughs] No, of course not.
And I talked Mom into getting us
an unlimited texting plan,
so we can still have non-stop gossip sessions.
- Oh. Cool.
- Leni, is everything okay?
- [sighs] I messed up!
I pretended to be you,
and I lost your golf scholarship.
- What?
[screams]
- [squawks] Drama!
- Why would you do that?
You know how important that scholarship is to me.
- I do, but I was worried
that if you went to Fairway,
we wouldn't be BFFs anymore.
- Leni, I need you just as much as you need me.
We'll always be close. I promise.
- Ugh. I totally blew it.
Fairway is the perfect place for you.
Don't worry.
I'm getting your scholarship back.
Dad, I need to run back to campus.
- Oh, ho, no can do, kiddo.
We're supposed to be on the road ten minutes ago.
- But I--I need to, uh--
- Go buy you a "Fairway U Dad" hat.
I totally forgot to get you one.
- Oh, goody. Hurry.
Just don't tell Lola.
- Do you know where Coach Nibbles is?
- Uh, Niblick?
He just went to his office to make a phone call.
He said it was urgent.
[both gasp] - We have to stop him.
- Don't worry. I got this.
- [yells] Wrong way!
[screaming]
[dialing phone] [ringing]
- Wait!
[ringing] [phone disconnects]
- What is the meaning of this?
- Coach Nibbles, I have something to confess.
The person you saw playing golf earlier wasn't Lori.
- What?
- It was me, her sister Leni.
I was worried about Lori going away next year.
So I dressed up like her
and pretended to be awful so Fairway wouldn't want her.
But now I know that just because
we'll be far apart in distance,
doesn't mean we won't be close.
I'm sorry for what I did.
Can my sister still have her scholarship?
- So, Lori,
do you still know how to use this?
- "Fore" sure.
- Well done! - Go, Lori!
- We'll see you next fall, Loud.
Now, young lady,
I don't blame you.
When my sister was off to university,
I popped the tires on her car
in the hopes it might stop her from leaving.
But those years apart only made us closer.
Hm, I should give her a call.
- Uh, let me just...
- [squawks] Party bus! [both laugh nervously]
[upbeat music]
♪
[bell rings]
- Hey, buddy. Do you wanna try
my latest baking creation?
- Do I?
I mean, yes. I definitely do.
These are amazing, Clyde!
- Thanks. You gave me the idea, actually.
Oatmeal and butterscotch, together at last.
[sliding on floor]
- Whoa!
Who's been dirtying my freshly-waxed hallways?
And on the day of the school board meeting!
[sniffing]
Do I smell butterscotch?
- Yes! Would you like a cookie?
- Ah.
These are quite exquisite.
Look, I know it's rather short notice,
but could you make a few dozen of these cookies
for the school board meeting tonight?
Superintendent Chen has quite the sweet tooth.
- Eh, I don't know.
We were going to get started
on our history project tonight.
- Please! I beg you.
Superintendent Chen can always tell
when baked goods are store-bought!
I'll pay--handsomely.
[cash register dings]
- We'll totally help.
- Excellent. Thank you, boys.
[humming tune]
both: Aw, yeah!
[mixer whirring]
[timer clicking, chirping]
- [sniffs]
- We have a lot to discuss, Principal Huggins.
Whoa!
Like all the money you've been spending on floor wax.
- Well, I uh... Oh, good.
The refreshments are here.
- Ouch. - Care for a cookie?
- Oh, these are delicious.
[chewing noisily] Mmm.
And definitely not store-bought.
Now, what was I saying?
- Oh, who can recall? Have another.
- [chewing noisily]
- You two just saved the day.
Here's your payment. Plus, a little extra.
- Mm. Oh.
These are so good.
Oh, do you boys have a business?
Mmm. I'd love to place an order.
both: [giggle] Oh, we don't have a--
[gasp]
We should totally start
a cookie business!
We'd be the cookie kings of Royal Woods.
[camera shutter clicks] [crowd cheering]
both: Cookies! Cookies for everyone!
- Mr. McBride, Mr. Loud.
You're needed in the tasting room.
- [grunts]
both: Whoa! Whoa!
[both grunt]
- Ooh!
Which of these new flavors
should we release?
Caramel Crunch? Mocha Fudge?
Marshmallow Swirl?
- All of them!
- [breathing heavily]
I'm so sorry, Mr. McBride and Mr. Loud,
but we've run out of room
for all the money you're making.
[rumbling]
- It'll be perfect.
We've got everything we need.
You're a baking genius.
- And you're great at getting people to buy stuff!
Like this shirt.
I never thought I could do stripes.
- Now let's get out there and start taking orders.
- Yeah!
Oh, but shouldn't we get
that history project out of the way first?
- Homework can wait.
When we're the cookie kings of Royal Woods,
will anyone care how we did on some history project?
- [chuckles] What history project?
Let's do this!
[both grunt]
- Hm, should I get her roses?
Oh ho, those are played out. [yells]
- This anniversary, why not give her what she really wants?
- Cookies! - [screams]
- Here. Try a sample.
- Hm.
[chewing noisily]
These rule!
Oh, I'll take two dozen.
- Great! We'll just get your info and--
- Hey! Quit stealing my customers.
[both yell]
- [grunting] Hey, guys.
Whatcha doing at my soccer practice?
[grunts]
Need me to open a jar or something?
- Actually, we thought your team
might like to order some cookies.
- [imitates sport buzzer]
Come on, Stinkin'.
Athletes can't be slamming sugar.
- Actually, these are made with unsweetened applesauce,
whole grains, and protein-packed peanut powder.
- Wow, wow!
We'll take six dozen for our next match
against Fern Valley.
- Looks like you've got a lot on your plate there, Mr. Loud.
Why not let us handle the dessert menu?
- Hmm.
Mmm!
Dang exhaust fan.
Anyway, these cookies are out of this world.
You've got yourselves a deal.
You know, running a business is a big responsibility.
You boys want some pointers?
It's not all a piece of...cake.
- Thanks, Dad, but we're all set.
- Plus we've got a hot lead on another potential sale.
- [chuckles] Have fun, boys.
Aw! Ding dang it.
[overlapping chatter]
- Katherine Mulligan, reporting to you live
from Sunset Canyon, where a riot has broken out.
The cause? A clogged pudding dispenser.
[overlapping angry chatter]
- Fear not, senior citizens.
- We have the solution to your pudding problem.
both: Cookies!
[all chewing noisily]
[overlapping pleased chatter]
- These are fantastic.
Looks like we've got a new story.
These delicious cookies.
- That's right, Katherine.
We are Clincoln McCloud Cookie Company.
- And we're open for business!
- All right, time to start cooking.
First up, your Nana Gayle ordered a dozen
for her skydiving club.
- Let's do this.
[upbeat music]
♪
Ooh, nice label. - Thanks.
I'm drawing a mini-comic on each one.
Keeping it fun, you know.
both: Ooh!
Nice, our first dozen down.
And it only took us... [watch clicking]
both: Four hours?
- How many more orders do we have to make for tomorrow?
- Ten orders for a total of 15 dozen cookies,
which will take, um...
[phone ringing]
Lisa?
- 60 hours or 2.5 days.
And that's with no potty breaks.
- You were listening? How?
I'm at Clyde's house.
Your surveillance measures have gone too far.
- I heard it through your walkie talkie, you boob.
- Huh? Oh.
Well, thank you.
- You're welcome. Here's another tip.
Hire employees.
If two nincompoops can make a dozen cookies in four hours,
think how many cookies six or seven nincompoops
could make in that time.
- Hey. - One last tip.
Maybe look for a bigger work space.
- How do you know the layout of my kitchen?
- [gasps] Gotta go.
- So do we know anyone with professional baking experience?
- No.
But I can think of some other people
who might be available.
Thanks for coming.
My sisters were too busy to help,
but you guys will get to share in the profits.
- Plus, you get all the leftover cookies you can eat.
- Sounds great. - Hot dog.
- I don't know, man. A hair net?
These locks can't be tamed.
[all grunt]
- Just put it on, Rust.
- [grunting]
- Whoa. Easy, tiger.
[laughs nervously]
That rolling pin is vintage.
- Oh, sorry.
I'll be more gentle.
- Still a little rough there.
- I'm barely pressing it.
- Here. Why don't I just do it?
- [groans]
- Well, the label looks great,
but are these bite marks?
Wait. All the cookies have them.
Zach, what the heck?
- [gulping]What?
I'm doing quality control.
- Bad news, bud. We're out of butter.
- Dang it.
I already used up my allowance
on the first round of ingredients.
- And I used up mine on that vintage rolling pin.
- Oh, don't worry, fellers. I'm on it.
Now, which one of you's got a gentle touch?
- [moos]
- Hey, guys.
Come look at the conveyor belt I rigged up.
I think it'll make things go a lot faster.
I made it out of a treadmill
your parents were getting rid of.
See, we can do an assembly line, and--
[alarm rings]
- [roars]
- Annabell, no!
- Turn it off. - Watch the hair, man.
- Save the cookies.
[machine activates] - Whoa, hey!
Oh!
[all yell]
- [sniffs, moos]
[chewing noisily]
- Sorry, but no amount of free cookies
is worth this hassle.
- Uh, I'm with Rusty.
- Same. - Likewise.
- Come on. We should probably go finish
our history projects, anyway.
[both groan]
- [gasps]
both: Our history project!
- We haven't even started.
- But we promised cookies to all those people.
- Well, I guess we just have to buckle down and get baking.
- Baking powder, cinnamon, oats!
Hurry!
[mixer whirring]
- [grunting]
Gah, hand cramp! Ah!
- [panicked breathing]
[alarm ticking, failing]
[both sigh]
- There. Last one.
We did it.
[both sigh]
- Here are the cookies for your anniversary, sir.
Sorry they're so awful-looking.
- We got you these as backup, too.
- Oh! Well, thanks.
[overlapping excited chatter]
- Also, we fixed the pudding machine.
These were clogging it.
- [gasps] Those are Scoot's chompers.
- [laughs] You can't prove it.
- Ah, I get it, boys.
Bit off a little more than you could chew.
Eh? Eh?
- [laughs awkwardly]
- Yeah, we definitely did.
We thought we'd be the cookies kings of Royal Woods,
but there's so much more
to running business than we realized.
- Managing employees, tracking inventory,
wrangling dairy cows!
- [chuckles] Well, don't worry.
There'll be plenty of time to figure it all out
when you're older.
Anyways, enjoy being a kid while you can.
- Will do.
- Bye, Mr. Loud! - Bye, Dad!
I'll see-- [yells]
Dang it.
- Hey, guys.
We're sorry for putting you through
all that mess.
- We made you these apology cookies.
- No worries. - Forget about it.
- Sorry you guys weren't able to finish your history project.
- Oh, we did.
We had some dough scraps left over,
so we made cookie Stonehenge.
- Huh? - What happened?
- [chewing noisily]
- Sorry.
I thought these were the apology cookies.
[laughter]
- [laughing]
- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house - ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house