1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,335 Brace, brace! I'm bracing. 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:05,335 LOUD CRASH 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,335 Hm. 4 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:11,295 This program me contains strong language and adult humour 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,495 No, no, no, no, no! 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,015 No! 7 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:24,535 Ahh! 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:26,735 What?! 9 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:37,295 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! Yeah! 10 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,935 Welcome, everyone, to Taskmaster! 11 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,615 I'm Greg Davies, and I have a secret to tell you. 12 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:45,975 People often say to me, “If you're the Taskmaster, 13 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,815 "how come you're so old and out of shape?" 14 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,095 After I put them in a half Nelson, I whisper the secret in their ear. 15 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,735 WHISPERS: "It's a fat suit, you fool. 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,655 "To be taken seriously, I need the gravity of an older man." 17 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,175 Beneath the suit, I am hench, ripped, tight, 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,255 piercing blue eyes, and soft, sun-bronzed skin. 19 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,015 My real name... 20 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,295 SULTRILY: ..Juan Monroe III. 21 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,575 LAUGHTER 22 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:10,375 APPLAUSE 23 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:15,055 Let us meet those craving my wisdom, drunk on my judgment, 24 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:19,055 please welcome Frankie Boyle... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 25 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:21,695 ...Ivo Graham... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 26 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,055 ...Jenny Eclair... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 27 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,415 ...Kiell Smith-Bynoe... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 28 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,295 ...and Mae Martin. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 29 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,575 And next to me, a man who recently told me he thinks that 30 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,495 former heavyweight world champion boxer Anthony Joshua 31 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,775 lost his title because of cowardice. 32 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:39,775 And I quote, 33 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,695 "If I ever meet him at a TV event, 34 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,655 “I'm going to teach that pussy to dance." 35 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,575 LAUGHTER 36 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,015 HIGH-PITCHED: It's Little Alex Horne! 37 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,895 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 38 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,215 Yeah. 39 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,535 No, I don't remember... remember saying that. 40 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,415 You were adamant. 41 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,735 Hm. Hello! Everyone. 42 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,095 Are we having a lovely chat before we start the show? 43 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,895 N-No, I think we just crack on with that. 44 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,615 I've got the agenda for the show, so we all know what's happening. 45 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,775 Same as normal - prize task, task, task, task, stretching, task. 46 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,175 Optional wink. So, we're ready. 47 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,455 So, let's get on with it. Let's do the prize task, shall we? 48 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,815 Let's, as you say, do the prize task. 49 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,055 And this week, you asked them to bring in the luckiest thing. 50 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,775 Ooh! I'm such a lucky thing, sitting next to you. 51 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,735 You're a lucky boy. Hm. 52 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,375 LAUGHTER 53 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,855 Five points for the luckiest thing, 54 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,615 and all the lucky things will go home with the episode winner. 55 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:38,415 Finished! OK, Jenny. What's your luckiest thing? 56 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,415 OK, well, Alex thinks he's very lucky sitting next to you, 57 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,895 but the luckiest lad in the land... is this little chap. 58 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,775 AUDIENCE AWWS Look at him! He's mine! 59 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,495 Well, he's obviously not mine from my vagina, 60 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,775 cos my vagina's quite old. 61 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,815 Erm, no this is my grandson. 62 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,855 And he's the luckiest lad, cos I'm his Nana. 63 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,655 And who wouldn't want me to be their Nana?! 64 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,895 Well, the more you shout at me... 65 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,815 The winner of the episode doesn't get your grandson. 66 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,135 What's the prize that's being offered up? Because... 67 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:13,175 That photo, me and the lad! Yeah. 68 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,455 I'll put it in a frame. 69 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,135 Frankie, can you beat a baby? 70 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:19,335 well... 71 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,695 LAUGHTER 72 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,095 Horrified at the tone you've set, Greg. 73 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,975 I have brought in a bag that was left at a theatre 74 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,215 for me by a fan. 75 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,375 Oh, my God. 76 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,575 It seems to focus heavily on my connection to the animal kingdom. 77 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,215 They've managed to incorporate my daughter's dog 78 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:46,535 and my crow friend, Arnold Bartleby. 79 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,175 Have you got a crow friend? 80 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,455 I do. Oh, OK. Yeah. 81 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,135 LAUGHTER 82 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:59,695 He enjoys ham. OK. But it is your lucky bag, Frankie, 83 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,655 you carry it with you, is that right? 84 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,775 Well, I've left it in my suitcase because the run of gigs I was doing 85 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,455 when they gave me that bag were really good. 86 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,255 So, you're a superstitious man. I'm very superstitious. 87 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:15,215 My God, I would've bet the lives of a thousand crows you weren't. 88 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,295 Kiell! 89 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:20,255 This is a scratchcard bought by the luckiest woman in Britain. 90 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,735 Jolene Stanley, 35. 91 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,695 She was 34. But that was over a year ago. 92 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:30,215 Yeah, what's going on? What have you actually brought in? 93 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,295 The scratchcard. 94 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:34,255 Kiell has got Jolene to buy a scratchcard for the show. 95 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:37,855 Yeah. She won £70,000 worth of prizes since her first 96 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,735 competition entry in 2012. 97 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,415 She is Britain's luckiest woman. 98 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:47,695 She's also the woman in Britain who does the most competitions. 99 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:49,615 It's added something to the episode, 100 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,895 that we could have cold, hard cash at the end. 101 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,935 I'm very happy with this prize, you've done well. 102 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,775 Hello, Mae. What have you brought in? 103 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:01,735 MAE: I'm worried you're going to dismiss this with a wry comment. 104 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,175 A wry comment? Yeah. 105 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,655 I'd better get my wry face ready. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 106 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,935 Erm... LAUGHTER 107 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,415 These are, er, my lucky lenses. 108 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,015 Here are Mae's lucky lenses. OK. 109 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,535 OK, so... LAUGHTER 110 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,775 APPLAUSE 111 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:25,175 So, those are real four-leaf clovers I bought, they're £15 each. 112 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,535 And those are rabbit's feet... Can I check? 113 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,895 The rabbit's foot, to be a lucky rabbit's foot, 114 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,215 must be a left hind foot. That's correct. It... 115 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,375 LAUGHTER 116 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,695 The rabbit needs to have been captured or killed in a - 117 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,295 where was it captured or killed? 118 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,615 THEY STAMMER 119 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,535 A ceme... A cemetery. A cemetery, yes, good. 120 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,655 And what day of the week was it cut off on? Very important. 121 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,375 Monday. Er, what? 122 00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,975 QUIETLY: Sunday... No. 123 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,015 Friday. Friday, yes! 124 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:54,855 On an actual grave, the meaner the person, the luckier the foot. 125 00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,135 MAE SIGHS I mean, I... 126 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,415 I hadn't seen the horseshoe. 127 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,895 I don't want to be pedantic here. 128 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,415 But...isn't the task the luckiest thing? 129 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:14,855 Yes. And could I suggest that Mae's entry was things? 130 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:17,175 No, because they've been... It's a pair of glasses. 131 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,495 They've been fused together. 132 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,215 They've been fused onto the one thing that isn't lucky. 133 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,775 What? That's outrageous. 134 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,095 One left. lvo. 135 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,775 Well, last episode, Frankie got a lot of points 136 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,055 for putting a load of random guff on a graduation hat. 137 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:36,695 So, I've put a load of random guff on a graduation hat. 138 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,975 LAUGHTER 139 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,335 Erm, so a few key items here. 140 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,535 The maneki neko Japanese bobtail cat. 141 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,735 The former Manchester United footballer Steve Bruce, 142 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,055 who's brought me a lot of luck in my career. 143 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,135 How so? 144 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,615 Because he wrote some excruciatingly bad detective novels 145 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,495 in the late '90s, 146 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,655 and I've reviewed them on podcasts for a small fee. 147 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,935 Erm, when I played a lot of poker, 148 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,575 7-2 off was our lucky hand. 149 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,735 And finally, of course, the silver spoon that I was 150 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,575 born with, in my mouth. 151 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,175 Is that one thing, Frankie? 152 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:20,775 No. That's several things glued onto a hat that has 153 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,775 no reputation for luckiness. 154 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,215 Well, after every bad gig, I would call up my parents, 155 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,375 and my dad would say, "Well you're lucky you've got your degree." 156 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,735 So, I... APPLAUSE 157 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,735 I would say the hat is the luckiest thing of all. 158 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,335 Well, there's a couple at the top, 159 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,695 and then, it's a much of a muchness, is the way I see it. 160 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,095 So, I'm not going to give 1 point to anyone. Oh. 161 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:45,455 2 points, I'm going to give to a picture of a baby... Oh! 162 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,895 LAUGHTER 163 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,535 Oh, God, I do really like Frankie's tote bag... 164 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,335 ...but I can't leave a baby down the bottom on its own. 165 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:55,535 No, you can't. 166 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,815 I think I'm going to. 167 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,095 LAUGHTER 168 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,375 Literally livid. 169 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:02,935 Tote and hat. Right. 3 points. 170 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,015 Oh! Both get 3 points. Yes. Frankie and lvo, got it, OK. 171 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,015 Yes. Mae's lucky glasses take the 4 points, 172 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,375 because I think Kiell's made a real effort, for the first time ever. 173 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,175 Yes! 4 to Mae, 5 to Kiell! 174 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,575 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 175 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,495 Let us have a task proper, Alex Horne. 176 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,895 Of course, Greg, here we go. 177 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,375 Wotcha. Wotcha. 178 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,215 He's got a very strong brow, doesn't he? 179 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,775 Oh, God, yeah. 180 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,055 How do we get that? 181 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,375 I think it's practise. 182 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,575 Everything all right? 183 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,415 I think so, this looks different. 184 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:08,495 This one's made out of Babybel, or something. 185 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,495 I would really like to do well on a task with this kind of paper. 186 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,455 HE GROANS 187 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,535 OK. "Fake something. 188 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:22,055 "Best fake wins. 189 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,895 "You have 20 minutes." 190 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:27,695 Ready...steady...go. 191 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,015 Presumably everybody just did the 192 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,415 When Harry met Sally thing at this point. 193 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,895 You think they all did it? Yeah. 194 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:39,615 Er, are you going to do it? No, I really am not. 195 00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,935 I don't think anyone needs that in their life. 196 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,175 HE GRUNTS 197 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,215 APPLAUSE 198 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,055 Lovely! That's got us all in the mood. Let's crack on. 199 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,535 OK, well, the first fakers we're going to see are Kenny and Giles. 200 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,335 Sorry, Jenny and Kiell. 201 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:01,455 JENNY: Ready, steady, go. 202 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,255 Oh, gotta start now! Oh! 203 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,415 Oh, oh... 204 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,415 Oh, my right arm. 205 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,415 It's going to get sticky. 206 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,815 So sticky. Too sticky. 207 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:20,375 Oh, my heart...oh, oh, my heart. 208 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,655 Oh, oh, my... 209 00:10:22,680 --> 00:10:24,295 Oh, oh, God, Oh, God, 210 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,015 Oh, God, I think I'm dying. 211 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,815 Perfect. Perfect. 212 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,495 Ohh...! 213 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,375 I faked a death. Oh, phew! Right, good. 214 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,975 I'm all right, I'm OK. Am I allowed to do another one? 215 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,535 You can do whatever, you've still got 18 minutes and 40 seconds. 216 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:48,775 OK, I'll do another one. 217 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,855 Seven minutes. 218 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,735 Could boil an egg in this time. And then, use the shell as nails. 219 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,175 Would you like me to bring you an egg? Yes, please. 220 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,735 Ow! Oh, oh, I just banged my nose. 221 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,055 I think I'm having a nose bleed, darling. 222 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,095 A really, really bad nose bleed. 223 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,375 I've brought you an egg. Ah, thanks, mate. 224 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,295 What's in there? 225 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:09,735 Egg. 226 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,735 Oh - my mum won't like this bit. 227 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,615 Your mum won't like it? No. 228 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:15,975 She'll say I'm "messing up the people's house". 229 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,415 I think it's stopping now. I think it's stopping. 230 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,295 All right, then? I've had a bit of a trauma. 231 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,695 Would you like some chocolates? 232 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,095 I don't like chocolate. Oh. 233 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,655 I like cheese and cash. 234 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,615 Right, I'll bring you some cheese and cash. 235 00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:30,055 Thank you very much. Right, you seem to have perked up. 236 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,055 Yes, I feel fine now. 237 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:35,495 Happy? 238 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,615 Happy. 239 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,535 APPLAUSE 240 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,575 20 minutes. 241 00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,895 You wouldn't be able to slip into a room unnoticed with that hand. 242 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,015 But the nails, lovely attention to detail. 243 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,015 Jenny, "I like cash and cheese" - I'm with you on that. 244 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:06,175 And during the death, when she immediately went "ahh," 245 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,535 started to die I thought, "Oh, that's clever." 246 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:10,855 And within 30 seconds, I was finding myself going, 247 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:11,935 "Just die!" 248 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:15,415 Really good. 249 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,455 Well, we do have another swindler ready to treat with a trick. 250 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:19,455 This time, it's Ivo. 251 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:26,975 Erm, are you a fan of the ancient Egyptians? 252 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,255 'Course I am. Great. 253 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,175 You've not got long, Ivo. OK. 254 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,655 IVO GRUNTS 255 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,415 Are you ready to be transported to ancient Egypt? 256 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,295 As ready as I'll ever be. 257 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,975 Welcome...to Ancient Egypt. 258 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,975 Hello. 259 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,375 What's your name? 260 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,615 SOFTLY: Whoo. 261 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,415 Oh, are you dead? 262 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:01,655 Ah. 263 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,255 Right. Erm, not even going to "whoo" any more? 264 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,415 SOFTLY: Whoo. 265 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,055 BLOWS WHISTLE So, your time's up, Ivo. 266 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,015 What do you think? 267 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:19,615 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS Ohh. Good! 268 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,095 I've had a lovely time being involved in this task. 269 00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,175 You really clawed it back with that stunt at the end. 270 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,975 Because when the mummy first came in, 271 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:38,095 I actually, out loud, whispered to myself, "Heartbreaking." 272 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,775 The greatest privilege of my life, to sit here and watch your heart 273 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,375 be put back together by my twist. 274 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,255 I do feel complete. 275 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,295 Right, it's time for us to part with part one. 276 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,855 What can I say? We were young, we were naive, we were stupid, 277 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,335 it was never going to work. Fun, though, wasn't it? 278 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,655 WHISPERS: Goodbye. I still love you. 279 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,375 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 280 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,495 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! 281 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,415 Welcome back to Taskmaster, 282 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,015 where there are some charlatans at work. 283 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,455 Yes, Greg I'm afraid so, because the current task 284 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,295 sees them trying to fake something. 285 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,255 Best fake wins. 286 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,735 Next, and pitching a TV show at the same time, 287 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,335 it's Mae Martin. 288 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,375 SWANKY THEME PLAYS 289 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,695 CHEERING 290 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:32,295 Good evening, and welcome to Crossing to the Other Side 291 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,215 with Mae Martin. 292 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,495 Er, my guest today, Alex Horne. 293 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,775 Welcome. Hello, Mae. 294 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,775 Ah, OK. 295 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,855 So, I'm getting an older male figure. 296 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,535 It's not a grandparent or a father figure, it's... 297 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,735 ...like a teacher figure. Does that ring any bells? 298 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,215 I did have teachers. 299 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,575 I want to say, you've travelled away with? 300 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,295 Yeah, I went on a school trip with, er, Mr Arnold. 301 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,735 So, I'm getting Adrian. 302 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,855 Well, there's - oh, genuinely his real name was Adrian Arnold. 303 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,055 OK, and is he passed? 304 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,455 I hope not, but I haven't been in touch with him for... 305 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:08,055 You might want to send him an email. Oh, really? Yeah. 306 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,815 Erm...I'm getting kind of, er, 307 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,175 lot of noise, like animal noises and things. 308 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:17,375 Is there a significance of, like, I want to say Tim and Jim, 309 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,855 like a Dot and Scott? 310 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,495 Yeah. Horace and Boris. 311 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,015 Horace and Boris. They're my cats. 312 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:23,055 And they've passed? 313 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:25,095 Oh, long time ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 314 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,575 And Horace in particular is, er, frustrated. 315 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,335 He's very frustrated with you. 316 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:34,095 Oh. Yeah, he's like telling me something about George Clooney. 317 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,135 M-My cat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 318 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:39,775 Erm... I'm trying to think of George Clooney films. 319 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,455 My dad was a GP, so anything with ER? No. 320 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,415 No? No, not that. No. 321 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,775 Fantastic Mr Fox is what I'm getting. 322 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,135 Ah, well, I've seen that, and I used to have a toy fox. 323 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,575 This is the frustration I'm getting from Horace. 324 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,855 What, that I loved the fox more than the cat? Yeah. 325 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,095 Well, I-I hope you've got what you came for. 326 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,095 I'm just trying to be a vessel 327 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,815 and give you the tools that you need moving forward 328 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,495 to live in a more authentic way. 329 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,615 Well, thank you for the tools. Thank you. Thanks, Mae. 330 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:10,495 Erm, do you have any money? 331 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,095 Ah, yeah, I've got some money. 332 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,695 I charge £60. 333 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,855 £60. 334 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:16,855 I'll take 40. 335 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,815 APPLAUSE 336 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,095 That was actually...quite good? 337 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,015 It was good. 338 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,895 Because they were faking it, I discovered afterwards. 339 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,895 What, you mean Mae's not a real medium? 340 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,175 In the lab, I was freaked out, cos everything they said was true. 341 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,615 Yes. And I didn't know how they did it. 342 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,895 I...I've been a... 343 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,095 I r-rang his wife. 344 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,415 LAUGHTER 345 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,095 And my wife rang my mum. 346 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:47,375 And I've kept in touch with your wife. 347 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,775 Like...we text! 348 00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,415 Yeah. The way you lured him into Horace and Boris... 349 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:53,495 Thank you. Yeah. 350 00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:56,575 ...very clever! It was horrible to be on that side. 351 00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,055 Very enjoyable. 352 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,375 And then, you've got a new friendship out of it. 353 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,415 Yeah, and 40 quid. 354 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,015 LAUGHTER 355 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,535 Good, who's last? There's only one more. 356 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,655 The final faker is Frankie Foyle - here we go. 357 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,935 MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS 358 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:18,495 "In a sense, no-one is to blame for this. 359 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:23,175 "In another realer sense, 360 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:26,695 “the British security services and the creative team behind 361 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,935 "the Antiques Roadshow are to blame. 362 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,495 "Farewell, Frankie." 363 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,335 LAUGHTER 364 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,135 APPLAUSE 365 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,015 I empathise, Frankie, because like me, 366 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:59,055 your body is so much more shocking than your suicide could ever be. 367 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:00,895 LAUGHTER 368 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,575 We surprised a few joggers. 369 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,735 Oh, man that was very good. This is tough. 370 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,615 Are they all good, do you think? 371 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,455 I feel like you're working against me, Alex. I'm not. 372 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,295 Can we have a look at it, again, the hand? 373 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,735 Yes, I can isolate just the hand. 374 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,975 I really want to justify it being higher than it is, Kiell. 375 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,855 But, with the best will in the world... 376 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:29,935 But, you know, were Jenny's fakes really good? No! 377 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:35,895 What if I give them both 2 points down the bottom? 378 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:39,655 So, Jenny and Kiell both get 2 points. They do. Right. 379 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,135 I'm going to give Ivo 4 points. 380 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,255 Ooh, right! 381 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,295 I'm going to give Mae 4 points, as well... Right. 382 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:49,615 ...just because I think the harrowing story of Frankie Boyle's demise 383 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,575 deserves, on this occasion, 5 points. 384 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,015 2,2, 4, 4, 5 points to Frankie Boyle! There you go. 385 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,415 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 386 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:57,855 Scoreboard time. 387 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,335 Frankie and Mae are at the top, with 8 points each. 388 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:03,295 There you go. APPLAUSE 389 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,695 Right! Right. On we go! 390 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,695 Yes, next up is this. 391 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,615 HORN HONKS REPEATEDLY 392 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,295 HORN HONKS 393 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,495 JENNY: Hello, Alex! 394 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,895 Hi, Jenny. 395 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,975 HORN HONKS GUITAR PLAYS 396 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,055 HARMONICA PLAYS 397 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,095 SPOONS CLANK HORN HONKS 398 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:50,455 FRANKIE: Oh... 399 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,855 the things have fallen off my feet quite early doors. 400 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,775 I've lost my bells, and I've displaced my... 401 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,215 HORN HONKS 402 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,575 Hello, Kiell. Hello! 403 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,215 I'm going to bring you your task. 404 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,095 There you go, Mae. Thank you. 405 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:06,375 "Play the instrument indicated by the light. 406 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,015 KIELL: "Each time you play an instrument correctly, 407 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,375 "another will be added to the sequence until you make a mistake. 408 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,455 "Longest sequence wins. 409 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,255 "There is a bonus point for the person who sounds 410 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:21,175 "the least worst. 411 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,095 MAE: "The least worst." 412 00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:24,335 Sort of the best. 413 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,895 "Your time starts when the first light goes on." 414 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,055 OK. 415 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,655 So, up there, there's drums. 416 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,535 Where? Drums there. Drum. Yeah. 417 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,975 Why does it - oh, it's very badly drawn. 418 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,495 Thank you. 419 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,135 FRANKIE: Hm, what the fuck is that? 420 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:45,775 Obviously a harmonica. 421 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,295 It looks like a sofa. I thought it was a sofa. 422 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:49,295 Yes. 423 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:53,975 I just want to crack on. 424 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,855 OK, when it comes to musical ability, 425 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,735 you don't often hear these two names - and for good reason. 426 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,495 It's Jenny and Ivo first. 427 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,775 Are you ready? 428 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,255 IVO: Yes, I am. 429 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,695 Let's go. 430 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:09,095 STRUMS GUITAR CHORD 431 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,695 And that was a lovely chord. 432 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,095 It was a lovely chord - I think it's my only chord. 433 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,615 STRUMS TUNELESSLY 434 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,815 You've made it successfully through round one. I'm glad! 435 00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:18,815 Round two. 436 00:21:23,120 --> 00:21:25,655 Good. It's now time for round three. 437 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,335 STRUMS TUNELESSLY 438 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,415 STRUMMING CONTINUES 439 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:37,855 STRUMS CHORD 440 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,135 BLOWS HARMONICA 441 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,655 STRUMS CHORD 442 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,015 There's that chord again. Sounding good. 443 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,935 Is this like an Alzheimer's test? 444 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,575 STRUMS TUNELESSLY 445 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:54,575 BLOWS WEAKLY 446 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,255 Great performance. 447 00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,775 So, you know the first four now. Yes. 448 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,375 Ah, right OK. Now, then. 449 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,615 STRUMS TUNELESSLY 450 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,975 HORN HONKS 451 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,535 Correct! Congratulations. 452 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,895 Really? Mm-hm. 453 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,975 Hm. 454 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,375 It's now time for round six. 455 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,615 Round six? Yeah. OK. 456 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,095 That's correct, Jenny. 457 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,295 AUDIENCE OOHS 458 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,055 Yeah, I've got a horrible feeling that I got that wrong. 459 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,895 Do you know what you did wrong? 460 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,295 No. 461 00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,135 I put all this clobber on, 462 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,935 and I've become overwhelmed by the occasion. 463 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,495 Off we go again. 464 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,975 WHISTLE BLOWS You missed one. 465 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,695 I didn't! You sort of did. 466 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,375 What? 467 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,135 You didn't play the harmonica. 468 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,895 Only cos it looks like a sofa. 469 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,735 I think you should go now. 470 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:20,255 AUDIENCE AWWS 471 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,335 HORN HONKS SADLY 472 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,655 There's the sad little walk away from "Old Honkfoot" Eclair there. 473 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,215 LAUGHTER Tragic. 474 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,175 Tragic, but still better than Ivo. 475 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,455 Oh, really? 476 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,175 Don't say it like that! 477 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,975 I'm sorry, I thought we'd been grouped together as equal failures, 478 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,935 but it turns out I'd found still a new depth. 479 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,295 Ivo was very disappointing, just five, that's all. 480 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,135 You only remembered five things in a row. 481 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,135 How many did I get? Six! 482 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:56,095 Oh... Yeah - Frankie Boyle and Mae Martin also did this task. 483 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:58,535 And they did it like this. 484 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,815 I feel like Dick Vandyke. 485 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,135 You look like Dick Vandyke in... 486 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,295 LAUGHTER 487 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:05,935 In young...yo...in... 488 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,775 Sh...are you ready? 489 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:08,975 Yeah. 490 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,175 I'm going to give it a go. 491 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:13,375 STRUMS CHORD 492 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,935 STRUMS OUT OF TUNE CHORD 493 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,455 Congratulations. 494 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:29,855 HE LAUGHS 495 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,255 It's sounding lovely. 496 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,535 I'm seeing now how it's going to get stressful. 497 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,655 Correct. 498 00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,975 I have to look at my feet every time. 499 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:04,975 HE LAUGHS 500 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:09,095 What was the fucking last one? 501 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,135 CHEERING 502 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,415 Correct. 503 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,055 APPLAUSE 504 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,095 BUZZER 505 00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,135 WHISTLE BLOWS 506 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,215 HE LAUGHS 507 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,695 Frankie. Yeah? 508 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,255 You did very well. 509 00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,575 I...I-I'm surprised. 510 00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,135 I'm also surprised. FRANKIE LAUGHS 511 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,775 WHISTLE BLOWS Ohh, man. 512 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,135 APPLAUSE 513 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,455 Well, Mae, I thought there was a childlike naivety. 514 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,015 Yeah, I had a great time. Hope in your eyes. 515 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,975 Frankie, you looked quite at home in that clobber. 516 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,455 I enjoyed being in a warehouse, being in a one-man band 517 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:28,855 for no apparent reason. 518 00:26:28,880 --> 00:26:30,655 A lot of fun. Very impressive. 519 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,975 They both scored 9. Well done. 520 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,095 Hm. Yeah, sometimes it's just good to say "well done," isn't it? 521 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:37,815 LAUGHTER 522 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,935 Right, we're stopping for a break so Alex can do his push-ups. 523 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:43,575 Underneath that cheap suit, the boy is ripped! 524 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,255 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 525 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,335 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yes, hello again! 526 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:56,375 We're back! 527 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,255 Let's just get on with the show. 528 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,215 As opposed to what? 529 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,975 HE SCOFFS Quick update. 530 00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,375 They're currently trying to copy a sequence of lights. 531 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,055 Longest sequence wins - and there's only one player left. 532 00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,455 He's currently in last place in the series, it's Kiell! 533 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,535 Correct. 534 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:32,695 Shit. AUDIENCE OOHS 535 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,735 Are you going to play your instruments? Hang on! 536 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,495 Correct, and so we go on. 537 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,055 HE VOCALISES 538 00:27:57,920 --> 00:27:59,135 what? 539 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,535 HE BLOWS FURIOUSLY 540 00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:03,775 Blow. 541 00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:08,255 BLOWING CONTINUES 542 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,055 PLAYS HARMONICA 543 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,975 Have you finished? No. 544 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,335 OK. Have you? 545 00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,095 AUDIENCE OHHS 546 00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:53,255 Thank you, you've finished, goodbye, Kiell. 547 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,615 GUITAR STRUMS HORN HONKS 548 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,895 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 549 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,495 Pretty impressive, Kiell. 550 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,175 I'm a music boy. 551 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:06,575 How many did he get? 552 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,015 15. I mean... 553 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,615 AUDIENCE OOHS 554 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,535 Good. The only negative thing I can think to say is that in 555 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:18,095 a previous task, you had a problem blowing a marble into a tube, 556 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:20,415 and then, you had another blow issue. 557 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:21,535 Do you have a blow problem? 558 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,855 I'm an asthmatic boy. 559 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,295 Asthmatic music boy. Music Boy's Asthmatic Boy. 560 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,055 Yes. Oh... 561 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,415 But I'm really sorry, there were two Kiell clips, 562 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,735 and I think I played the wrong... I'm going to fucking kick off, Alex. 563 00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,895 I've played the Kiell clips in the wrong order. I'm so sorry. 564 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,695 Oh... Can I play the other one? 565 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:40,735 Yeah, yeah. 566 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:41,895 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 567 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,615 WHISTLE BLOWS 568 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,535 Kiel}, you have finished the one-man band task. Ah! 569 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,015 Go on, give us another go. 570 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,775 You want to keep going, see if you can go further? Yeah. 571 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,655 We gave him quite a few other goes. 572 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,255 We were in there for 45 minutes. 573 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:06,815 LAUGHTER 574 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,015 It seems that Music Boy's a cheeky boy. 575 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,815 Ivo and Kiell are both five. 576 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:14,215 OK, OK. Right. Right. 577 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,655 But eventually, I got 15. Yeah. 578 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,215 Well, in that case, Kiell wins the series, let's all go home. 579 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,455 APPLAUSE 580 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,935 Good. So, Ivo and Kiell came joint fourth. 581 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,935 Yeah. So, they both get 2. Jenny comes third. 582 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,815 So, gets 3 points. Mae and Frankie joint first, 583 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,175 5 points each! 584 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,935 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 585 00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,935 However, there is, of course, one bonus point for the person 586 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,895 who plays it the least worst. 587 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,655 Just for the cheeky head wiggle alone... Ooh. 588 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,615 ...and the nerve of Music Boy, 589 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,975 and I think, you know, give the guy a break, 590 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,295 we'll give him the point. Bonus point to Kiell! 591 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:52,535 Well done, Kiell. Thank you. 592 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,495 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 593 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,095 Time for another task, please! 594 00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:57,975 OK, and this one's a team one. 595 00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:58,975 Here we go. 596 00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,695 Shall we? Yes, you do, go ahead, go ahead. 597 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,495 "Salvage the most spoons. 598 00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,855 "Salvage the most spoons. 599 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:31,215 MAE AND JENNY: "You may not leave the lab, 600 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,215 "and all spoons must be salvaged with a magnet. 601 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:39,015 FRANKIE: "Your salvager must not remove their head wear. 602 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,375 JENNY AND MAE: "Most salvaged spoons brought to the lab wins." 603 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:43,975 "Also, from now on, 604 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,535 "you must speak in a very high-pitched voice. 605 00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:49,095 JENNY AND MAE, HIGH-PITCHED: "You have 16 minutes. 606 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,895 NORMAL VOICE: "Your time starts," or should I say... 607 00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:53,495 HIGH-PITCHED: "You have 16 minutes. 608 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,175 "Your time starts now." 609 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,695 Do we open the laptop? 610 00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,175 Open the laptop. 611 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,175 Ah! Hello, Alex. Hello. 612 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,655 I have your salvager here. He has a magnet. 613 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:06,895 Good luck. 614 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,175 KIELL: Where am I? 615 00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,055 APPLAUSE 616 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,015 Mae and Jenny, I think you instantly became 617 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,215 the weird children from The Shining. 618 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:25,495 Absolutely horrified me the moment you started speaking. 619 00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,015 Right, let's just get on with it. 620 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,415 OK, and we begin with the team of three. 621 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:32,615 It's Kiell, Jenny and, with the same initials and voice 622 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,375 as Mickey Mouse, it's Mae Martin. 623 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:36,975 MAE, HIGH-PITCHED: Kiel|, Kiell! 624 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,255 KIELL: Hello, yes. 625 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:39,655 Kiell, are you blindfolded? 626 00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,535 Am I blindfolded? Yes. Big style. 627 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:45,335 OK, look around for spoons. 628 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,815 I can't look. 629 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,135 Can you...move the camera around, 630 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,855 so we can see what you're looking at? 631 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,255 JENNY, HIGH-PITCHED: We're presuming there are spoons. 632 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,015 There's a spoon on top of the blue bin! 633 00:32:58,040 --> 00:32:59,735 I don't know where the blue bin is. 634 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,055 Stretch your hands out, Kiell. 635 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,015 Now inch forward. 636 00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:07,335 To the barrel. The oil drum! Oh, I've got the barrel. 637 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,295 OK! Yeah! On the top. There is a screw. 638 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:11,295 That's annoying. 639 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:13,775 Did you get it? 640 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,175 Ah, God. You're so close! 641 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,855 One spoon. Did you get it? 642 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,975 I did. We're going to have to work out a better system than this. 643 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,215 I think you should get on your hands and knees, and crawl. 644 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,735 I wouldn't do that. 645 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,495 Turn around, to the left. 646 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,895 Walk forward. 647 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:36,975 What can you see? 648 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,415 Nothing. Nothing. 649 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:40,695 What about now? 650 00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,775 No. Oh, yeah! By the bathtub. 651 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,655 I don't know where the bathtub is. 652 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,575 So, if you inch forwards very slowly till you feel the grass 653 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,015 under your feet. 654 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:51,415 The grass under my... 655 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:54,495 And then, veer slightly to your right. To my right. 656 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,895 Kiell, there's two spoons in front of you. OK. 657 00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:58,535 So, get on all fours! 658 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:00,535 Forward, forward! 659 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,975 Grope, grope in the grass. 660 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,335 Grope the grass? As close to the bath as you can. 661 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,415 I don't know where the bath is. Is it to my right, or my left? 662 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,375 What's that? To your right, there's a spoon right in front of you. 663 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,335 I've got one. OK. Try by the shed. 664 00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,095 What direction's that? Yeah, you're doing it. 665 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:18,495 You're doing it now. 666 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:20,295 Oh! Oh! Double spoon! 667 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:21,775 Kiell, Kiell, double spoon! 668 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:23,215 Where? 669 00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:26,015 You need to sort of be in the middle of the grass. 670 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,295 If you can imagine it. 671 00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:30,335 OK, so direct my finger. 672 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,655 You want to be facing to your right. 673 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:34,695 To my right, like this? 674 00:34:34,720 --> 00:34:36,535 Yeah! Yeah, yeah, Kiell! 675 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,015 Yeah? Down! Down! 676 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,175 Down... 677 00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,175 And sweep. Sweep. 678 00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,495 Yeah! You have five minutes. 679 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,415 I think we should come back to the house. 680 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,095 We're running out of time. Yeah. 681 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,015 Kiell, you'll have to come and find us in the lab. 682 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,815 You guys have got to chat about this blindfolding work. 683 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,175 Kiell you have to come back to the house. 684 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,615 If you told me where the house was, yeah. 685 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,215 Turn to the right, take five big steps. 686 00:35:00,240 --> 00:35:02,495 One, two... 687 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,415 Stop. ..three... 688 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:06,255 Turn to your right. Turn to my right. 689 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,215 Take three big steps. Well, take one big step. One... 690 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:10,855 Wait you've got to go around that. 691 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,655 Around which way? Go to your right. To the left, or to the right? 692 00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:16,055 To the right, to the right! Left? To the left! 693 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,055 Feel your way. 694 00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,135 Along the house, to the front door. 695 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:24,975 Hands out! Stretch! 696 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,575 You seem to be at the door. 697 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,535 I've stopped listening to both of you. 698 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,735 Here! Just blunder along the corridor. 699 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,215 Straight ahead. Yes, you're almost here! 700 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:39,575 Well done! Yes, Kiell! Yeah! 701 00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:42,495 Yay! Yay! 702 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,775 Good job, Kiell! WHISTLE BLOWS 703 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,535 The narrative to me was Kiell playing an older brother 704 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,375 who's been through this nonsense a thousand times. 705 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:59,775 He was weary from the moment they started squeaking to each other. 706 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:02,935 I found that voice so annoying. So annoying. 707 00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,655 Yeah, and often, Mae was leading the way with an attempt at instruction, 708 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:08,055 and Jenny was just going... 709 00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:11,175 HIGH-PITCHED: "Yes, that's right!" 710 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,575 Kiell was doing a lot of the work, as well, he stumbled upon 711 00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:16,175 quite a few of the spoons. They got a total of nine. Yeah. 712 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,055 And he got back to the lab with a minute to spare. 713 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:20,415 He'd had enough. Oh, yeah. 714 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,455 Right, that's the end of part three. 715 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:25,575 Soon, someone will win a spoon and a scratchcard. 716 00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:28,815 And that's how we're going to end a prime time TV show - 717 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,455 whether Channel 4 like it or not. 718 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,055 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 719 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,255 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! 720 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:43,055 Welcome back to the final part of the show, 721 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,735 and a team task involving the salvaging of spoons. 722 00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,135 Don't mind if I do. 723 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,735 It's the team of two's turn now, 724 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,615 with Frankie directing and Ivo hunting. 725 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,055 IVO GROANS 726 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,055 FRANKIE, HIGH-PITCHED: Ivo can you see some spoons, my friend? 727 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,295 I can't see anything, Frankie, I'm wearing some elaborate head wear. 728 00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:00,895 Are you blind, Ivo? 729 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,495 They've blinded me, Frankie. 730 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,055 Only you can lead me to the spoons. 731 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,815 Turn to your left. 732 00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,855 And we see the caravan there. 733 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:10,255 Walk forward, Ivo. 734 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,935 I'm hoping they've put some spoons in this bath. 735 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,295 You're about to walk into the bath at knee height 736 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:19,535 and hurt your shins. 737 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,855 Stop, stop! Stop, Ivo! 738 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:25,415 I'm at the bath. 739 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,255 There's a spoon right in front of you. 740 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,855 On the ledge of the bath. 741 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,495 IVO, HIGH-PITCHED: On the left ledge, or the right ledge? 742 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:32,495 Both ledges. 743 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:36,375 Oh! Frankie I've got a spoon. 744 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:39,615 Put it in your spoon pouch, Ivo. 745 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:41,415 Oh, it's a strong magnet, Frankie. 746 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,015 You know, you don't need to speak in this voice. 747 00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:45,535 NORMAL VOICE: Oh, no, no. 748 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,055 HIGH-PITCHED: I've picked up the previous spoons by mistake. 749 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:50,135 Put your spoons in your pouch, Ivo. 750 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:52,775 Now can you have a good look around, lvo, so that I can check 751 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,175 there's no more spoons? Look down... 752 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,975 ...down, and then, do a 360. 753 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:03,455 No, let's wander off somewhere else. 754 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,935 You're dangling it too fast, Ivo! 755 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,215 There you are. 756 00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:12,535 NORMAL VOICE: That was quite cross. Get down! 757 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:14,815 Oh! Oh, there's one! 758 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:16,055 Ah, there's another. 759 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:18,415 You've had six minutes out of the 16. 760 00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:21,175 HIGH-PITCHED: Let's case the joint one more time. Where is it? 761 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,455 About a foot in front of you. 762 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,455 Now right over it now. Yes. 763 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:27,815 Can we go again? Now, Ivo, I'm going to guide you 764 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,175 into a situation of some danger. Stop there. 765 00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,495 In front of you, there's a little raised platform 766 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,215 that's about a foot high. 767 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:35,735 You don't want to walk into it, 768 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,375 fall over, and smash your face. 769 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,815 Forward, forward... 770 00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,935 Good, right in front of you. Ooh! There you are. 771 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,135 A treasure trove of three spoons. 772 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,055 This is more spoons than I could've possibly imagined. 773 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,535 Any spoons on Greg? No. 774 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,375 You've got three-and-a-half minutes. 775 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:58,095 Ooh, Frankie lead me to the kitchen, 776 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,015 where there'll be the most spoons. 777 00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:02,295 Keep going forward, then. Go forward. 778 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,735 Have a look in the dome, the dome might have spoons in it. 779 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,335 Yeees! 780 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,655 And you've dragged it into another spoon. 781 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:15,855 It's a two-er. 782 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:18,855 Well done! Excellent work, Ivo. Get out of there. 783 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:20,375 How much time have we got? 784 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,175 We've gotta get to that kitchen. 785 00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,775 Ivo, you've had 15-and-a-half minutes. Of how many? 786 00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,295 All the information's on the task. 787 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,735 How many minutes have we got in the whole task? 788 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:30,775 We've had 15-and-a-half minutes. 789 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,535 Really? I think we're nearly done. 790 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,455 Oh, come into the lab, then. 791 00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,855 B...But Frankie, what about the kitchen spoons? 792 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:41,655 Straight forward. Keep going, desperately, quickly! 793 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:44,815 Run! It doesn't matter if you hurt yourself, lvo! 794 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,775 No, not in there, Ivo! 795 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,775 What did I tell you not to do?! 796 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:50,375 You greedy bastard! 797 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,335 WHISTLE BLOWS You've got 30 seconds! 798 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:53,815 No, you don't. 799 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,095 What on earth?! 800 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:59,935 Oh...that's the spoon hub. 801 00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:02,735 Frankie, we've had an absolute shocker. 802 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,055 APPLAUSE 803 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,295 Where to start with this Shakespearian tragedy? 804 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:15,775 LAUGHTER 805 00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,375 It's worth pointing out that Ivo didn't have to do 806 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,455 the high-pitched voice. 807 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,175 You'll notice it disappeared immediately as I started 808 00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,495 to panic about the time pressure. 809 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,175 Did you start to panic about the time pressure, Ivo, 810 00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:29,735 or did you go into the kitchen? 811 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,815 When I'd expressly told you not to? 812 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,655 I mean, it's a game of quotes for me from Frankie, as well. 813 00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,255 My favourite... HIGH-PITCHED: “I'm going to guide 814 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,135 "you into a situation of some danger." 815 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,975 They did gather 22 spoons. They were a great team. 816 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,015 Oh! And do you know what's going to happen here, Ivo? 817 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,375 We're both going to lose this episode, 818 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,695 and somebody's going to go up there and win 70 grand 819 00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:57,855 on a fucking scratchcard. 820 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:00,135 LAUGHTER 821 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,935 APPLAUSE 822 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,375 You may well be right. Frankie was in the lead. 823 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,135 He's not won a show, Ivo, you've won two. 824 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,055 So, points-wise, Greg, only one team completed the task, they got... 825 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,615 So they're the only ones that can get any points. Oh, I see. 826 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,975 5. Er, Jenny, Kiel|, and Mae all get 5 points each! 827 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,375 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 828 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,695 Quick look at the scores. Yes, well, I can tell you that 829 00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,295 Kiell is now in second place, 830 00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,935 but Mae is in the lead with 18 points! Lovely. 831 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,455 CHEERING 832 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,455 All right, everybody, it's time to stand up and get ready for 833 00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:34,775 the final task of the show! 834 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,175 Having a little stretch? Gentle stretching. 835 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,535 Why not. Who's going to read the task out, you lovely bearded boy? 836 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,855 Frankie Boyle, another loved bearded boy. 837 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,535 # Two lovely bearded boys. # 838 00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:03,015 "Stuff all these things in your team mate's outfit. 839 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,575 "If you're wearing a special outfit, you must stay on your spot 840 00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,895 "with your hands on your head at all time. 841 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:11,775 "Fastest wins." 842 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,375 Straightforward stuff. 843 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,055 What I would say is you don't have to put in the trolley - 844 00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,335 everything but the trolley. 845 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,215 OK, on your marks, get set... 846 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:22,815 BLOWS WHISTLE ..stuff! 847 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:25,855 I've got a pocket. I don't know what I'm doing, mate. 848 00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:31,975 Is Ivo allowed to wiggle like that? I think so. 849 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,375 It seems provocative. 850 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,455 It's all gotta go in, it's all gotta go in. 851 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:41,495 That's a sharp frying pan. 852 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,735 AUDIENCE GASPS Ahh! 853 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:50,455 BALLOON POPS 854 00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:58,495 HIGH-PITCHED: Push the pan in, Ivo. 855 00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,855 Oh, no! 856 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,535 Oh, it's close, Frankie's away first. 857 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:04,815 CHEERING 858 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:06,055 Toilet roll on the floor. 859 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,655 AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 860 00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:15,615 Where's the plunger? Don't know. 861 00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:16,775 JENNY: No, not up. 862 00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,415 Well, it's actually... it really exhausted me. 863 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,855 It made me clench my bottom up. 864 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,335 Yes, and Greg, that's not the end. 865 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,655 What? Ah. 866 00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:35,175 Frankie, would you mind reading out the second...? 867 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,175 This is a first for Taskmaster. 868 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,535 This is the second part for just one of the teams. 869 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,895 "Say how many things you stuffed in your team mate's outfit. 870 00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,255 "If you're correct, your points are doubled. 871 00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,775 "If you're wrong, the other team gets your points.” 872 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,415 Yes, so the winning team, which is the team of three, 873 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:53,215 have one minute to tell me how many things they stuffed 874 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:55,095 inside Kiell's outfit. 875 00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:58,175 If they are exactly right, they will get 10 points each. 876 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,015 If they're wrong, the team of two will get 5 points each. 877 00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,455 JENNY: That's crazy. Can we take things out of his...? 878 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,335 You've got one minute to do whatever you want. 879 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,695 Get the trolley out. Your minute starts... 880 00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:09,695 WHISTLE BLOWS You hand to me, you hand to me. 881 00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,255 Can I take my hands off my head now? I'm counting, three... No. 882 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:14,175 .Four, six, seven. 883 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,495 KIELL: Wait, wait. Got it. 884 00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,295 How many's that? Ten. 11. 12. 885 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,655 GREG: Oh, God! 886 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:25,375 20. 25. Five seconds. 27, 28... 887 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:27,655 Did you count these? Er, yeah, yeah, yeah. 29. 888 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:30,055 IVO: Sorry. 889 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,855 WHISTLE BLOWS That's your time up. 890 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:36,375 APPLAUSE 891 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,735 This is the most excited I've been for ten years. 892 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:40,695 I'm going to need an answer, team of three. 893 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,175 JENNY: I can't say it out loud. 894 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,695 KIELL: Go with your instinct. OK. 895 00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:48,055 We're going to go with 29. 896 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,375 Please show them the birthday card. 897 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,575 AUDIENCE GROANS 898 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:55,015 It's just there on your left. 899 00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:01,695 IVO: You love to see it. 900 00:45:01,720 --> 00:45:03,175 It's 29! 901 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,495 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 902 00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,575 Well done! Well done, well done. 903 00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:11,975 GREG: We'll add all that up and see how it's affected 904 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,695 the final scores. Come join me! 905 00:45:16,320 --> 00:45:18,775 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 906 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,015 One of the most exciting final tasks, we've had in my opinion. 907 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,335 Oh, yes - by miles, probably. 908 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:30,975 It's not been a good last 15 minutes for the team of two, scoring-wise. 909 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:34,735 No. 15 points to these in the last two tasks, 910 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,575 and O to these. 911 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,455 Which means Ivo is now rock-bottom in the series, on 63. 912 00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,055 Frankie on 69. Ah. 913 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:45,735 Kiell on 76. Mae 87. Jenny 88. 914 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:47,175 AUDIENCE GASPS 915 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,535 That's our halfway point of the series. 916 00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:53,935 That is terrible news to receive with a toilet brush up your shirt. 917 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,855 And this episode, Mae Martin wins it with 28 points! 918 00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,135 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 919 00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:00,735 Mae Martin wins! 920 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,895 Please leap to the stage to luxuriate in your luckiest things! 921 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:09,055 So, what have we learnt today? 922 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:13,015 In these uncertain times of climate change and political unrest, 923 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,935 a show like this should provide much-needed light relief. 924 00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:18,295 What none of us needed to hear tonight was... 925 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:21,935 HIGH-PITCHED: “No, Ivo, there's no time to go into the kitchen!" 926 00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,695 We're halfway, see you next time. 927 00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:26,495 But for now, let's hear it for the person at the top of 928 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:30,055 their game today, Mae Martin! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 929 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,055 Subtitles by Red Bee Media