1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,840 {\an2}This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,480 {\an2}BELL RINGS Good evening. 3 00:00:08,240 --> 00:00:10,640 {\an2}Argh! SLURPS LOUDLY 4 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:12,240 {\an2}Argh! Ah! 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,680 {\an1}HE VOCALISES 6 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,120 {\an2}I trained at RADA. 7 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,120 {\an2}What have I created?! 8 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,240 {\an2}So sorry. 9 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,840 {\an2}How we laughed. 10 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:21,880 {\an2}Ahh! 11 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:25,760 {\an2}Huh? 12 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:34,960 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 13 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,480 {\an2}Hello, everybody, I'm Greg Davies, and this is Taskmaster. 14 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,280 {\an2}I hope you don't mind, but I thought I'd take this opportunity to 15 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,360 {\an2}quickly answer some of the questions from members of the public. 16 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,360 {\an2}Here we go. Do I watch the show back? 17 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,880 {\an2}No, my physical decline is deeply upsetting to me. 18 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,960 {\an2}Do I wear those socks by choice? 19 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,600 {\an2}No, I don't, it's a novelty format point forced upon me 20 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,320 {\an2}by those more excited by contrived broad eccentricity. 21 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,200 {\an2}Three - is Alex actually tall? 22 00:01:00,240 --> 00:01:02,400 {\an2}No, he's just over five foot. 23 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,720 {\an2}Four - why do I keep insulting him? 24 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,680 {\an2}Because he's had a soft upbringing, 25 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,480 {\an2}and it has made him weak. 26 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,640 {\an2}Now, questions over, 27 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,240 {\an2}let's ask some more pertinent ones. 28 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,880 {\an2}Who are the five chosen ones who will dance through 29 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,320 {\an2}the fire of Olympic-level endurance this week? 30 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,520 {\an2}Ha, I'll tell you! They are Julian Clary... 31 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:22,920 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 32 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:25,200 {\an2}..Lucy Beaumont... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 33 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,480 {\an2}..Sam Campbell... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 34 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,600 {\an2}..Sue Perkins... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 35 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,640 {\an2}..and Susan Wokoma! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 36 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,720 {\an2}And sitting next to me, 37 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,920 {\an2}a man who once privately told me that if it was up to him, 38 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:42,320 {\an2}Scotland would be physically sawn off from the UK 39 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,160 {\an2}and floated into the North Sea - to quote him, 40 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,840 {\an2}"We'll soon find out how much they want independence 41 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:51,680 {\an2}"when all they've got to eat is shortbread." It's... 42 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,920 {\an2}HIGH-PITCHED: ..little Alex Horne! 43 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,000 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 44 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,880 {\an2}Well, I'm very busy at the moment. Phew! 45 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,120 {\an2}I got asked to, er, do the Christmas lights in Chesham, where I live. 46 00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,560 {\an2}Oh, yeah? Yeah. 47 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,120 {\an2}So, I put them up. Put them up. 48 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,000 {\an2}Store them in my spare room... Yeah. ..where I was sleeping, 49 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,960 {\an2}so I'm now in the living room. 50 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,920 {\an2}Yeah. And, er, Russell Grant's turning them on. 51 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:15,720 {\an2}Good. OK, let's move on to the prize task. 52 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,080 {\an2}Yes, please! I'm on it, you big, bad boy. 53 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:22,280 {\an2}And today, you've asked them to bring in the best sign. 54 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,960 {\an2}The best sign will get five points, and the winner of the episode 55 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,240 {\an2}will take home five signs - and that's me signing off. 56 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,400 {\an2}Susan, welcome back to the show. Hello. 57 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,080 {\an2}Have you got a great sign? 58 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,280 {\an2}It's the sign of... Of? 59 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,520 {\an2}..Cock Pond, Clapham Common. 60 00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:36,640 {\an2}Here it is. 61 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,840 {\an2}Ooh! AUDIENCE OOHS 62 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:41,440 {\an2}A few years ago, I was like, 63 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,200 {\an2}"Oh, I was born in London, but I don't really know London." 64 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,560 {\an2}Right. So then, I started going on London walks - 65 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,560 {\an2}which is when you wake up really early on a Sunday, 66 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:54,120 {\an2}and you follow normally a jaded actor around bits of London, 67 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:59,760 {\an2}and there is a walking tour where you go and look at dirty signs, 68 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,440 {\an2}erm, around London and, er, this is one of my favourites, 69 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,160 {\an2}because I'm a child, apparently. 70 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:06,840 {\an2}Yeah.Erm, yeah. LAUGHTER 71 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,520 {\an2}I like Cock Pond. Thanks. 72 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,120 {\an2}You can quote me on that. I will. 73 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,720 {\an1}LAUGHTER 74 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,720 {\an2}Sue, pond full of cocks - can you beat it? 75 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:20,040 {\an2}This is a sign from a well-known and beloved broadcasting institution. 76 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,520 {\an2}Here's Sue's sign. 77 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,600 {\an2}Don't know if you remember that the BBC sold 78 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:26,720 {\an2}the BBC television studios. I do remember. 79 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,440 {\an2}Er, yeah, and it was a terrible, dark day. Terrible decision, yeah. 80 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,840 {\an2}And I filmed the last pilot in there... OK. 81 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,640 {\an2}..on the day that it was shut down. Yeah. 82 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,680 {\an2}When we came out, it was like the end of days. 83 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,720 {\an2}It was - it... People were just pulling down signs, 84 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:41,320 {\an2}pocketing treasures. 85 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,800 {\an2}They were basically asset-stripping the BBC from the inside out. 86 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER 87 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,200 {\an2}And I thought, "This is awful," and I can't... 88 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,120 {\an2}And I just saw the signs, and then, Claudia Winkleman said, 89 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,200 {\an2}"I'll give you a bunk up." And so... 90 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 91 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,200 {\an2}..she gave me a boost, ripped 'em off the wall. 92 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,720 {\an2}She took a stage door one. Popped it down. 93 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,760 {\an2}And off we trundled. 94 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,040 {\an2}I mean, to be honest, Sue, 95 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,000 {\an2}Winkleman's got "petty thief" written all over her. Yeah. 96 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,960 {\an2}It's a great prize. It might get you a few points. 97 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,200 {\an2}OK. Sam. 98 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,200 {\an2}Let me take you away from this, erm, studio. 99 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,880 {\an2}We're at the British - the Great British Library. 100 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,280 {\an2}Wow. LAUGHTER 101 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,760 {\an2}Have you nicked that? Yeah. 102 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,800 {\an2}I mean it's fairly irresponsible, you could... 103 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,800 {\an2}How good is it, though? Oh, it's a great sign. 104 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,120 {\an2}"Please take care, piazza slippery." 105 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,240 {\an2}It sounds like a European spy. 106 00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:31,360 {\an2}"Be careful, Piazza Slippery!" 107 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,240 {\an2}Yeah. "This is a very slippery mission!" 108 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:35,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 109 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,280 {\an2}Lucy, what have you brought in? 110 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,640 {\an2}I've brought, erm, a pub sign. 111 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,000 {\an2}OK. 112 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,640 {\an2}For, erm, a home pub. 113 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,200 {\an2}Whose pub, was it? 114 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,720 {\an2}Erm, ours, mine. 115 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:49,880 {\an2}Your one, and your husband's? And husband's, yeah. 116 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,880 {\an2}Here's the pub sign. 117 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER 118 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:55,840 {\an2}I think it's a got a warm feeling to it. 119 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,280 {\an2}Is there a, erm, landlord or a landlady at the Dog and Bastard? 120 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,920 {\an2}Me. But it's nice, cos if you do get drunk, 121 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,200 {\an2}sometimes you forget you're not in a real pub, 122 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,120 {\an2}and then, like, there was one time I went to ring a taxi, 123 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,120 {\an2}and someone had to say, "You're next to your house." 124 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,840 {\an2}It's your pub. "You don't need to." Yeah. 125 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,640 {\an2}It's a good sign. OK. Julian. 126 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:16,720 {\an2}Oh, I think you'll like this. 127 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,640 {\an2}Erm, it's very endearing - it's a sign that I saw in 128 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,640 {\an2}the green room, when I was at the Hull Literary Festival. 129 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,280 {\an2}A high-brow sign. Hm. 130 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,520 {\an2}You're in good company. 131 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,360 {\an2}Here's Julian's sign. 132 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 133 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,680 {\an2}It's an unpretentious event. 134 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,640 {\an2}Did you actually steal it? Do you have it? No, I couldn't. 135 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,120 {\an2}Cos the artists wouldn't have known where to eat. 136 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,760 {\an2}Jesus Christ, that is low-rent, isn't it? 137 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:51,920 {\an2}I'll do this based on which signs I'd like to take home the most. OK. 138 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,280 {\an2}I personally wouldn't want two Post-it notes. 139 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,280 {\an2}But I did laugh, so it seems really cruel, 140 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,560 {\an2}but I'm going to give Julian 1 point. Sorry, Julian. 141 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,480 {\an2}OK, 1 point to Julian. Aww! Oh, I understand. 142 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:03,200 {\an2}I don't want to take your pub sign, 143 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,160 {\an2}because I think it belongs on your pub. 144 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,280 {\an2}No, I've brought it! 145 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:08,360 {\an2}Nah. 2 points. 2 points to Lucy. 146 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,160 {\an2}Erm, 3 points to Sam. Well done, Sam. 147 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,120 {\an2}I genuinely want that BBC sign, so I'm giving that 5 points. 148 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,360 {\an2}And, unbelievably, I'm giving Cock Pond 4 points. 149 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,640 {\an2}There we are, that's it. There we are, so 5 to Sue Perkins! 150 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,000 {\an1}CHEERING 151 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,680 {\an2}On we go! 152 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,440 {\an2}Do you have something special lined up? 153 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:29,560 {\an2}Oh, I do. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's legendary. 154 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,360 {\an2}Oh! Look at that. 155 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,120 {\an2}How's it going? Yeah, pretty good. 156 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:54,400 {\an2}What have you brought? 157 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,720 {\an2}James Bond would never go on a mission without 158 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,840 {\an2}his favourite gadgets. 159 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,560 {\an2}I've never seen him bringing a tape measure to a mission. 160 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,000 {\an2}You only measure twice. 161 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:06,480 {\an2}Is this my Excalibur moment? 162 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:07,520 {\an2}Maybe. 163 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:08,560 {\an2}Ah! 164 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,640 {\an2}I'm actually quite good with a sword. Why? 165 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,160 {\an2}Oh, cos I went to drama school. 166 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,280 {\an2}I mean, no surprise, it's the first line. 167 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,600 {\an2}"Pull the sword from the stone. Many have tried. 168 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,240 {\an2}"You may not force the sword or break the stone. 169 00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:26,720 {\an2}"The champion is the one who releases the sword fastest. 170 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,840 {\an2}"Your time starts... 171 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,040 {\an2}"..now." 172 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,600 {\an2}Can I have the sword, please? 173 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,120 {\an2}Go on, give me the sword. 174 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,000 {\an2}This is amazing. 175 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,240 {\an2}Feel like I'm in Dubai. 176 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 177 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,720 {\an2}I'm sure the rulers of Dubai would be thrilled... 178 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,840 {\an2}LAUGHTER ..with that comparison. 179 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:56,320 {\an2}Erm, Susan, you seem a little apologetic about 180 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,640 {\an2}the fact you went to drama school. Yeah. 181 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,400 {\an2}Is it a source of embarrassment for you? 182 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,760 {\an2}No, no, no, no, no, I'm in enough debt because of it. 183 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,120 {\an2}No, it's absolutely fine. 184 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:06,720 {\an2}Yeah. Well, it really paid off. 185 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:11,080 {\an2}We could tell from your performance of the Arthurian-sounding, 186 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,720 {\an2}"Can I have the sword, please?" 187 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,440 {\an2}Well, let's have a look. OK, then. 188 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,520 {\an2}And we'll begin with Luce B and Sue P. Here we go. 189 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,200 {\an2}I mean, for form's sake. 190 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,160 {\an2}Ahh! 191 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,400 {\an2}It doesn't come out. 192 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,880 {\an2}No. It's a magic sword. 193 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,720 {\an2}So, something releases the sword. 194 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,040 {\an2}Well, could it be "Lucy"? 195 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,280 {\an8}No. Beaumont? 196 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:35,080 {\an2}So, clues. God, I love an old me... 197 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,120 {\an2}Oh, my gosh. Yes! 198 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,920 {\an8}That's just plain gibberish. 199 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,560 {\an2}None of it makes sense. 200 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,960 {\an2}I like it when I just get to run around. 201 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,320 {\an2}You can run around. 202 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,360 {\an2}That won't do anything, will it? 203 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,160 {\an2}Can I ring somebody? 204 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,440 {\an2}Could I ring the Women's Institute? 205 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,760 {\an2}Let's hunt further. 206 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,640 {\an2}ON PHONE: Thank you for calling the NSWI. 207 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,760 {\an2}For constitution-related enquiries... 208 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,880 {\an2}I think it's that one. ..press 3. 209 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,000 {\an2}I think it's a constitution inquiry. 210 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,680 {\an1}PHONE RINGS 211 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,320 {\an2}Welcome to the messaging... Oh, God! 212 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,880 {\an2}Alex, would you pull this cracker for me? 213 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,320 {\an2}Oh, I'd love to. Thanks, darling. One, two, three. 214 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,960 {\an2}Yay! LUCY GASPS 215 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,280 {\an2}"Which comedian knows how to 216 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,920 {\an2}"make their hair smart?" "..Their hair smart?" 217 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,160 {\an2}None of them. 218 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,800 {\an2}Is this relevant? 219 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:31,040 {\an2}Wow... OK, ooh! 220 00:09:31,080 --> 00:09:32,760 {\an2}There's a cross. 221 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,120 {\an2}I don't even know what part of the world that is. 222 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:36,560 {\an2}Is that Africa? No. 223 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,120 {\an2}Is it Australia? No. 224 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,280 {\an2}America? No. Europe? It's somewhere in Europe. 225 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,280 {\an2}I don't think I can tell you much more than that. 226 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,800 {\an2}He's got an O. 227 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,440 {\an2}Wait a minute. I see little letters. 228 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,920 {\an2}France? No. Netherlands? 229 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,240 {\an2}Uh-uh. Moldova? No. Croatia? 230 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,880 {\an2}Ah. No. Is it the UK? 231 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,440 {\an2}There's an E. 232 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,600 {\an2}There's an I. 233 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,680 {\an2}I feel like I'm in James Bond. 234 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:03,280 {\an2}Now we're doing counties, really? Cornwall? Devon? 235 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:04,320 {\an2}Devon? 236 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:06,960 {\an2}Devon! 237 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:11,600 {\an2}You made me say every country in Europe. 238 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,400 {\an2}I didn't make you say anything, Sue. 239 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,440 {\an2}I've got a D... 240 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,480 {\an2}So, a D, W... 241 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,480 {\an2}..O... ..I... ..E... 242 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,000 {\an2}..C, M, B. ..and an I. 243 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,440 {\an2}I'm just trying to make a word with it. 244 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,560 {\an2}Woody. Woody? 245 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,960 {\an2}Bedwomebi. 246 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,520 {\an2}E...ewodi. 247 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,080 {\an2}Ewodi, ewodi... 248 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,560 {\an2}Bedweiwmbe. 249 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 250 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,280 {\an1}LUCY GASPS 251 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,760 {\an2}That's got a D-D. 252 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,040 {\an2}That's got a W-I. 253 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,720 {\an2}Widd...e. 254 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:44,760 {\an2}Widdic... 255 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,080 {\an2}Have you had Josh Widdicombe on this? 256 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,960 {\an2}Oh, dear, it's so stressful. 257 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,440 {\an2}Burw...bu... 258 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,040 {\an2}..buw...buwawim. 259 00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,080 {\an2}I mean, I want to go Widdicombe. 260 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,480 {\an1}LAUGHTER 261 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER CONTINUES 262 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,560 {\an2}Come on, Widdicombe? Why would it be Widdicombe? 263 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,600 {\an2}Widdicombe. 264 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,280 {\an2}Widdicombe! 265 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,720 {\an1}SHE GASPS 266 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,760 {\an2}In the legend, what did he do once he had the s-sword? 267 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:23,400 {\an2}He ended up throwing it in a lake. 268 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:28,880 {\an1}APPLAUSE 269 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,000 {\an2}I keep little quotes during the show that I pop into 270 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:36,680 {\an2}the Taskmaster book of quotes. 271 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,360 {\an2}And yours, halfway through the task, 272 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,720 {\an2}really made it straight in, which was, 273 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,720 {\an2}"I just like it when I get to run around." 274 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,120 {\an1}LAUGHTER 275 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,320 {\an2}I do, yeah. What tipped you over into Widdicombe? 276 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,920 {\an2}Why was it...Anne Wittecombe? 277 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,560 {\an2}Wittecombe? It's Widdecombe. 278 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,840 {\an2}Honestly, I don't know how I got to Witticombe. 279 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,400 {\an2}Widdicombe! Widdicombe. 280 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:55,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER 281 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,800 {\an2}Just so you know, after 15 minutes, she said, 282 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,320 {\an2}"I think these are all clues." 283 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,320 {\an2}At 24 minutes, she said Widdicombe, 284 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,320 {\an2}but she didn't pull the sword out until 28 minutes. 285 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:11,200 {\an2}Wow. Sue, my favourite bit of the whole thing is when 286 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,000 {\an1}you realise what the answer is... THEY LAUGH 287 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:18,080 {\an2}..how long it took for your brain to compute. 288 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:21,560 {\an2}Er, I could've just swam in that time. 289 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,040 {\an2}Do you want to know how long she took? How long did she take? 290 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:25,520 {\an2}Lucy did very badly, 28 minutes. 291 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,240 {\an2}Sue, 33 minutes and 21 seconds. 292 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,840 {\an2}Wow. Most of it was that reaction. 293 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,520 {\an2}I was going to say, that's ten. 294 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:33,760 {\an2}Time for a break now. 295 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,560 {\an2}Or, as my uncle Steve used to call it, 296 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,400 {\an2}"Get on the pot, it's plop o'clock." 297 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,600 {\an2}Hi, Steve! Hope the facility's OK. 298 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,120 {\an2}Sorry I've never visited. 299 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,360 {\an2}See you in a bit. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 300 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,360 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 301 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,960 {\an2}Hello! Yes, welcome back. 302 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,280 {\an2}It's part two, and there's a sword in a stone which needs removing. 303 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,480 {\an2}There is indeed, Greg, and only one name will release the sword - 304 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,240 {\an2}the surname of a person Sue Perkins 305 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,920 {\an2}made four series of a panel show with. 306 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,360 {\an2}Will Sam and Susan work out his name any quicker? 307 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,560 {\an2}Let's find out. 308 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,320 {\an2}Congratulations. Thank you. 309 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:17,320 {\an2}It's a little shoe that says "Greg" on it. 310 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,320 {\an2}It's a little foot, yeah. 311 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,040 {\an2}BOTH: "Which comedian knows how to make their hair smart?" 312 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:24,360 {\an2}So, that is absolutely not useful. 313 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,360 {\an2}A lot of them are well-groomed. 314 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:27,840 {\an2}Is that related to anything? 315 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:31,080 {\an2}"With diamonds come bears" - that is gobbledegook, 316 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,320 {\an2}I don't know what that is. 317 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:33,960 {\an2}"With diamonds come bears." 318 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,240 {\an2}We all know that. 319 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:36,680 {\an2}Is there a bear around? 320 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,440 {\an2}All right, look at this. 321 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:42,360 {\an2}Catherine Knollys, 1983. 322 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,400 {\an2}What? 323 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:46,360 {\an2}Katherine Ryan - that's not got to do with hair. 324 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,600 {\an2}Bob Mortimer? Bob, that's hair. 325 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,880 {\an2}People who've won. Taskmaster. 326 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,120 {\an2}Is who I'm looking for related to Catherine? 327 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,960 {\an2}How am I meant to know that? 328 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,200 {\an2}Ed Gamble? 329 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,120 {\an2}Sophie Duker? 330 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,280 {\an2}Bob Mortimer? 331 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,320 {\an2}Still no. 332 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,360 {\an2}Rob Beckett? 333 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,400 {\an2}Richard Herring? 334 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,760 {\an2}Katherine Ryan? 335 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,040 {\an2}Noel Fielding? 336 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,680 {\an2}Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! 337 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,680 {\an2}Is there a champion who's missing from there that has won this show? 338 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,520 {\an2}That just seems too inside baseball. 339 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,520 {\an2}Do you have to watch everything to know? 340 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:24,320 {\an2}"Comedian related to... Catherine Knollys." 341 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,640 {\an2}Is that it? Yeah. 342 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,800 {\an2}Alex Horne... At last. 343 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:28,920 {\an2}..sucks. 344 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,200 {\an2}Sorry, don't take that... edit, bleep that. 345 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,800 {\an2}Which bit are we bleeping? 346 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,160 {\an2}Bleep me, just blur me out. 347 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,040 {\an2}Blur me out, I don't deserve to exist. 348 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:39,960 {\an2}Josh Widdicombe. 349 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,440 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 350 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,800 {\an2}Ah! LAUGHTER CONTINUES 351 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,200 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. 352 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,040 {\an2}"..Fastest. Your time starts now." 353 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:51,320 {\an2}"Now" has got a capital W. 354 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,600 {\an2}Oh, WI.... 355 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:53,920 {\an8}Oh, it's a word! 356 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,720 {\an8}That's a MBE. 357 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,520 {\an8}Can I have that as some of my letters? 358 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,000 {\an8}Member of the British Empire. 359 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,840 {\an8}Oh, I know what it is! 360 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,640 {\an2}Josh Widdicombe. Widdicombe? 361 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:05,000 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. 362 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:12,960 {\an2}Now that was a drama school performance at the end, 363 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,400 {\an2}the holding aloft of the sword. 364 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,280 {\an2}Mm-hm. That was worth all that money, surely. 365 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,240 {\an2}It was worth every single penny... Fantastic. 366 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,480 {\an1}..and three years of my life, yeah. LAUGHTER 367 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,960 {\an2}Er, what was your system to try and get to Widdicombe, Sam? 368 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,040 {\an2}Ah, you just have to - just have to grab life. 369 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,120 {\an2}Yeah, you, er, listed all of the names of the people 370 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,280 {\an2}in those pictures. Yeah. 371 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:31,560 {\an2}And he actually worked out it was a winner of Taskmaster 372 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,720 {\an2}who wasn't amongst those pictures, so he cracked it. 373 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:35,520 {\an2}Can I just say, I love weapons? 374 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,560 {\an1}LAUGHTER 375 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,960 {\an2}Next up, we've seen four of our five competitors, 376 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,760 {\an2}but somehow, there's still two left. 377 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,120 {\an2}That's right, it's Julie and Clary. 378 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,720 {\an2}WHISPERS: I'm so sorry. Oh, God. 379 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:49,960 {\an2}Can I open the cracker? Yes. 380 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:57,000 {\an2}I've found a little foot, and it says "Greg". 381 00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,240 {\an2}Greg! 382 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:01,720 {\an2}No such luck. 383 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,240 {\an2}"Join the Women's Institute, darling daughter." 384 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,360 {\an2}"With diamonds come bears." 385 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,280 {\an2}Plymouth Argyle Football Club. 386 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,520 {\an2}W. 387 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:14,880 {\an2}D. 388 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,360 {\an2}WD40? 389 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,680 {\an2}Who are all these people in pictures? 390 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:20,920 {\an2}That's a good question. 391 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:23,120 {\an2}Giles...someone. 392 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,160 {\an2}Someone Giles. Nearly. 393 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,800 {\an2}That man with the teeth. 394 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,760 {\an2}Rob Beckett. Rob Beckett. 395 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,520 {\an2}They're all comedians. Yes. 396 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,880 {\an2}Well, Adrian Giles isn't. 397 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,280 {\an2}Aha! 398 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,560 {\an2}Another comedian. 399 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER 400 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,200 {\an2}Am I supposed to know his name? 401 00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:45,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER CONTINUES 402 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,120 {\an2}Do you recognise him? 403 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,840 {\an2}I do, yes, no, he's very funny. Yeah. 404 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,320 {\an2}That face - what is his name? 405 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:54,000 {\an2}He's sort of small and nasally. 406 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,200 {\an2}He is small. That's exactly right, yeah. 407 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,760 {\an2}I've always liked him. 408 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,360 {\an2}I won't hear a word against him. 409 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,720 {\an2}Josh - is it a Josh? 410 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,040 {\an2}Josh. 411 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,080 {\an1}HE SIGHS 412 00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:10,400 {\an2}Widdicombe. 413 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:11,440 {\an2}Widdicombe? 414 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:13,800 {\an2}That was it! 415 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,520 {\an2}Fancy that coming back to me. 416 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,760 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. Hoo! 417 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,200 {\an2}Oh, dear. APPLAUSE 418 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,640 {\an2}Thank goodness his name came to me. 419 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,240 {\an2}I've always liked his work. 420 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 421 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,320 {\an1}APPLAUSE 422 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:34,520 {\an2}Would it be fair to say you've not necessarily kept abreast with 423 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:36,280 {\an2}some of the more recent comedians? 424 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,040 {\an2}I don't really watch any other comedians. 425 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,320 {\an2}I don't know why. 426 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,680 {\an2}Oh, not even "that man with the teeth"? 427 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,000 {\an2}LAUGHTER Has he been on this show? 428 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:48,080 {\an2}He has. And we've had "small and nasally" on. 429 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER 430 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,920 {\an2}But you got there, it came to you. 431 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,240 {\an2}It did come out from nowhere. 432 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:56,400 {\an2}We were all quite relieved, cos it could've got quite awkward. 433 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,960 {\an2}But did I take any longer than the others? 434 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,880 {\an2}Well, I can tell you now. 435 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:03,000 {\an2}Seemed fast. Yeah. Hmm. 436 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,760 {\an2}Sue took 33 minutes. 437 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:08,360 {\an2}Sam, 32. Lucy, 28, and Susan, 14. 438 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,400 {\an2}Ooh. 439 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,560 {\an2}Julian, ten minutes and 23 seconds. 440 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,640 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 441 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,760 {\an2}Wow, lovely. Scoreboard then, please. 442 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,920 {\an2}Scoreboard, yes, it's tight at the bottom. 443 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,040 {\an2}We have last week's winner, Sam, on 5 points. 444 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,920 {\an2}At the top, it's Susan Wokoma with 8 points. 445 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,520 {\an2}APPLAUSE Lovely. 446 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,320 {\an2}Hey, let's have another one, then. 447 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,680 {\an2}You've got it, mega mumma. 448 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,560 {\an2}and I think they're going to nail this one. 449 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,840 {\an2}Ooh. 450 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,040 {\an2}Welcome... Welcome. 451 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,280 {\an2}..to the lab. To the lab. 452 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,600 {\an2}Are you going to repeat everything I say? No. OK. 453 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,920 {\an8}Oh, they're already going. 454 00:18:57,960 --> 00:18:59,640 {\an8}Uh-oh. Oh! Erm, OK. 455 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,880 {\an2}No time for "hello" and "how are you" today. 456 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,880 {\an2}No niceties. 457 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,280 {\an2}It doesn't say anything. 458 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,880 {\an2}Nah, I'm just playing. 459 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:11,200 {\an2}Oh, "Make a cheeky picture on this piece of wood." 460 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,440 {\an2}There. 461 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,680 {\an2}"..Using nails and one continuous piece of wire." 462 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,920 {\an2}So, a cheeky picture. 463 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,080 {\an2}Yes, please. 464 00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:22,680 {\an2}"Also, if any egg timers stop, 465 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,840 {\an2}"you must stare at the camera 466 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,000 {\an2}"shaking your head for ten seconds." 467 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,960 {\an2}Yeah, that one did stop, so, yeah. 468 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,240 {\an2}"The best cheeky picture wins. 469 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,000 {\an2}"You have 20 minutes." 470 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,360 {\an2}Sorry, Sam, the blue one's just run out of sand. 471 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:41,960 {\an2}Wait, what? The sand's run out. 472 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:49,080 {\an2}"Best cheeky picture wins. 473 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:51,960 {\an2}"You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now." 474 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:57,200 {\an2}Hang on a minute, so I need to do a cheeky picture with wire... 475 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,760 {\an2}..and be looking at these guys? 476 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,400 {\an2}I know. I said it was a nightmare, 477 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,120 {\an2}but Greg wanted it done. OK, fair enough. 478 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:05,920 {\an1}APPLAUSE 479 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,480 {\an2}Feels pretty straightforward, shall we just crack on? OK. 480 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,680 {\an1}ALARM BEEPS Oh, I'm so sorry about my alarm. 481 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,480 {\an2}Do you know what time it is? Yes, it's time for a montage! 482 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 483 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,080 {\an2}OK, cheeky picture with nails. 484 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,840 {\an2}I mean, we all know what it's going to be. 485 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,200 {\an2}Can you draw a...penis? 486 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,880 {\an2}Can I draw a penis? Like, cos that's cheeky, isn't it? 487 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:29,160 {\an2}Oh, yeah, that's cheeky. 488 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,560 {\an2}Oh, you're drawing with the nail? 489 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,160 {\an2}SAM: What else would you do to make a cheeky picture? 490 00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,880 {\an2}Ah, that's not shaking. 491 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,120 {\an2}That's shaking. 492 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:54,800 {\an2}What sort of people enjoy this programme? Is it students? 493 00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,760 {\an2}Why is it always you? 494 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,520 {\an2}The blue sand has run out again. 495 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,240 {\an2}Oh, no. Oh, no. 496 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,480 {\an2}That's nodding. 497 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:09,960 {\an2}Any regrets about doing this series? 498 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,240 {\an2}Well, you're interesting, aren't you? 499 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,360 {\an2}Would you call yourself a charismatic man? 500 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,400 {\an8}Doesn't say I can't do that... 501 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:22,680 {\an2}Ah, well, the sand has now stopped so, yeah, you have to do it again. 502 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,440 {\an2}You're an absolute piglet, Alex Horne. 503 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:27,160 {\an2}I just want to get to the boobs now. 'Course. 504 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,240 {\an2}I don't want it to be too phallic. 505 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,200 {\an2}So, instead of testicles, I'm going to do wings? 506 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,240 {\an2}That's cheeky. 507 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:35,960 {\an2}So, you've got the sexy dog - 508 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,400 {\an2}cos we're subverting stereotypes. 509 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,880 {\an2}JULIAN: My art teacher would not be impressed with this. 510 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,440 {\an2}Fortunately, he's dead. 511 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 512 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,320 {\an1}APPLAUSE 513 00:21:50,360 --> 00:21:53,240 {\an2}Well, cheeky is an interesting debate, I think. 514 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,440 {\an2}What the go-to cheeky is. 515 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,680 {\an2}Well, you said, Sue, "We all know what's getting drawn here." 516 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,320 {\an2}Go-to, well, route one cheek. 517 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,560 {\an2}What is "route one cheek"? 518 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,120 {\an2}Cock and balls. It's a classic C&B. 519 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,840 {\an2}Erm, Susan, you did say, 520 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,120 {\an2}"I just want to get to the boobs now." Yes. 521 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,560 {\an2}But then, you threw in a curveball by saying, 522 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,920 {\an2}"We've got a sexy dog..." LAUGHTER 523 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,040 {\an2}"..because we're subverting stereotypes." 524 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,160 {\an2}Am I going to see a dog with a pair of boobs? No, no! 525 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,040 {\an2}No? The boobs are separate to the dog. 526 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,880 {\an2}Oh, what do you think cheeky is? 527 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,920 {\an2}Erm, I think it's when you have your boobs out 528 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,800 {\an2}as you're feeding your dog. 529 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,800 {\an1}SHOCKED LAUGHTER 530 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:33,520 {\an2}It's cheeky. It's cheeky, and it's weird. 531 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,520 {\an2}Time for a break now. 532 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 533 00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,120 {\an2}An opportunity to reflect, 534 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,880 {\an2}to consider one's mortality, 535 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,360 {\an2}and, crucially, exercise gratitude. 536 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,840 {\an2}Or you could chug on a fruit-flavoured vape 537 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:49,320 {\an2}and phone for a pizza. 538 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,480 {\an2}Both things are fun, it's up to you! 539 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,600 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 540 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,280 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 541 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,320 {\an2}Welcome back to the third quarter of the show. 542 00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:09,560 {\an2}I'd like to see some cheeky art, please, Alex. 543 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:10,720 {\an2}Of course you do, Greg, 544 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,680 {\an2}it's your sort of thing you, randy sod. 545 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,960 {\an2}Er, the first piece of art we're going to see is Julian's. 546 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,880 {\an2}Julian, can you explain this? 547 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,400 {\an2}Well, it was going to be a face, 548 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:25,040 {\an2}and in the end, it became a sperm. 549 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,280 {\an2}Do you like it? 550 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:34,200 {\an2}I don't know, is a solitary, deformed sperm cheeky? 551 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,600 {\an2}Well, there was something about that laboratory place, 552 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,640 {\an2}I felt like I had gone there to make a deposit or something. 553 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,800 {\an2}It's "best cheeky picture," so, do you think that's a good picture 554 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:45,280 {\an2}of a sperm, I suppose, is...? 555 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:46,520 {\an2}I do not. 556 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 557 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,680 {\an2}Well, I'm sorry if I haven't pleased you. 558 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,040 {\an2}Let's have a look at Sam's. 559 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,160 {\an2}It's more recognisable as a picture. 560 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,240 {\an2}I think this is a really interesting piece. 561 00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:59,840 {\an2}It just oozes with cheek. 562 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:03,320 {\an2}This is having this beautiful golden hair, and what a mane! 563 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,320 {\an2}Wasn't it just, just wow! 564 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:08,280 {\an2}Yeah. And yet, this person keeps their hair secret 565 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,800 {\an2}with a giant hat, and the community have no idea. 566 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,200 {\an2}Yeah. No-one has seen this hair. 567 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,400 {\an2}Yeah. And that is cheekiness... 568 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 569 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,120 {\an2}It's so convincing - what's clever is, 570 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,560 {\an2}it's kind of cheeky for you to suggest that's cheeky. 571 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,320 {\an2}Yeah. Which I like. 572 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:28,800 {\an2}You're a switched-on guy. Yeah. 573 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:31,840 {\an2}Well, Susan - I will have to explain a few elements of it, 574 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,520 {\an2}but this is how it ended up. 575 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 576 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:39,760 {\an2}So, on the left is a lady with - and I hate to say this phrase - 577 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,720 {\an2}boobs, pulling along a... Yeah. ..dog? Yeah. 578 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:47,840 {\an2}And the dog, to use her phrase, is "going a bit kink". 579 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,960 {\an2}And then, she's done a cheeky bit of ocean, 580 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,960 {\an2}and a cheeky bit of hell. 581 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,440 {\an2}The red represents... 582 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,960 {\an2}Did I do that? LAUGHTER 583 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,720 {\an2}So, I see cheeky lady. Yes. 584 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,640 {\an2}That's a cheeky tick. Erm, why is hell there? 585 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,920 {\an2}Well, hell is here. 586 00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:09,320 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah. "Cheeky devil" - that's actually a phrase. 587 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,720 {\an2}Thank God you can see the boobs, is all I can say. 588 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,240 {\an2}Shall we move on to a penis with wings? 589 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,560 {\an2}I thought you'd never ask. 590 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,280 {\an2}Yeah, this is what Lucy did. 591 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 592 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,080 {\an2}I mean, the sperm now is looking pretty good. 593 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,560 {\an2}Ah, like you say, now looking back, I'm disgusted with myself. 594 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,640 {\an2}You know, and I don't think I've got the wings at all. 595 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,600 {\an2}And finally, Sue Perkins - and this is more recognisable. 596 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,760 {\an2}Here we go. Cheeky! 597 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:46,240 {\an2}That's good! Yeah. That is... 598 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:50,160 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 599 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,720 {\an2}If you were to take a bet beforehand, who would be the person 600 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,960 {\an2}least likely to anatomically correctly... 601 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,640 {\an2}No-one's more shocked than I am. 602 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,320 {\an2}It's a lovely attention to detail. Yeah. 603 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:05,120 {\an2}And, I hope this is appropriate, a lovely girth. 604 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 605 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:11,560 {\an2}I wanted to make it aspirational, but attainable. Yeah. 606 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,240 {\an2}So, here's all five of them. 607 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,000 {\an2}Oh, God. 608 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,200 {\an2}I mean, it's fairly easy to score this, isn't it? 609 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:20,320 {\an2}Lucy, by her own admission, hasn't done anything, really. 610 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:25,000 {\an2}Has just put a... a meaningless shape on a board? 611 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,320 {\an2}Yeah. 1 point to Lucy, well done, Lucy. 612 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:29,520 {\an2}Er, 2 points, and he can thank me for it, 613 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,200 {\an2}to Julian's square, single sperm. 614 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,440 {\an2}2 to Julian. 615 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:39,880 {\an2}3 points to Susan's floating big-boobed woman and madness below. 616 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:41,560 {\an2}Uh-huh. Now, then... 617 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:45,080 {\an2}I don't know whether I, on this occasion, can separate 618 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:50,440 {\an2}a blue penis and a lady saying, "Sh! 619 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,280 {\an2}"I've hidden my hair from you." 620 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER 621 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,280 {\an2}I'll give them both 5 points. 622 00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:00,240 {\an1}OK, done, 5 points to Sam and Sue. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 623 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:01,920 {\an2}Let's have one more task, please. 624 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,000 {\an2}OK, Greg, and I'm afraid the naughtiness continues. 625 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,040 {\an2}Ooh! 626 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,440 {\an2}Hello. Julian, how's it going? 627 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:19,920 {\an2}It's going well. 628 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:22,680 {\an2}Have you come across any sort of secret tasks hidden around 629 00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,600 {\an2}the house at all so far? 630 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,680 {\an2}Should I be looking out for those things? 631 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,880 {\an2}It's just what I would do. 632 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,080 {\an2}There it is. Yes. 633 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:31,040 {\an2}Secret one could be anywhere, I suppose. Argh! 634 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,120 {\an2}Pardon? What? 635 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,160 {\an2}Is that the task, to look for secret tasks? 636 00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:36,760 {\an2}You can open the obvious task, if you want. 637 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,840 {\an2}That's just really passive aggressive. 638 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,920 {\an2}SAM: "Make mischief." 639 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,800 {\an2}"Make mischief." 640 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,280 {\an2}Secret task, secret task, secret task. 641 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,680 {\an2}"Most mischievous wins." 642 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,920 {\an2}SAM: "You have a maximum of half an hour." 643 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,560 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 644 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,760 {\an2}Oh, what does it mean? 645 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,880 {\an2}I have unintentionally been making mischief all of my life. 646 00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,800 {\an2}Have you got an immediate instinct? Yeah. 647 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,480 {\an2}Well, there's victim-based mischief. 648 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,120 {\an2}Which I do like. 649 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,680 {\an2}Wouldn't it be mischievous to say things that I'm not supposed to say? 650 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,360 {\an2}Do you think you can? Is that crazy? Like, "I love KFC!" 651 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,840 {\an2}Like, cos you can't use that, so that's mischief. 652 00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,000 {\an2}I think we can use that. 653 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:22,320 {\an2}And then, there's kind of, like, mischief that annoys 654 00:28:22,360 --> 00:28:24,440 {\an2}a collective of people. 655 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,880 {\an2}Like running out into the road, or something like that - 656 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:30,440 {\an2}not in a sad way, but in a, like, "aha" way. 657 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,400 {\an2}I'm going to steal things off people. 658 00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,000 {\an2}Car keys. Socks. 659 00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,160 {\an2}Pacemaker - not pacemaker. 660 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,200 {\an2}They're hard. 661 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,760 {\an2}I don't know why, but the first thing that came into my mind 662 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:41,800 {\an2}was a portcullis. 663 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,880 {\an2}It's very hard to create in a living room. 664 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,600 {\an2}Do I have to think in here? You can think in private, Julian. 665 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,080 {\an2}I will see you when I've thought. OK. 666 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,920 {\an2}Can I use your phone for a prank call? 667 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,040 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 668 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:58,080 {\an2}I think everyone should know what "mischief" means. 669 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,160 {\an2}But I am going to ask Sue why, when you think of mischief, 670 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,520 {\an2}you think of a portcullis? 671 00:29:03,960 --> 00:29:07,640 {\an2}I always think, "Just lean into your first idea." 672 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,800 {\an2}And that was the word that came into my head. 673 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,640 {\an2}"I'm going to create a portcullis." 674 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:14,040 {\an2}Fine. Susan, the sentence - 675 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:15,440 {\an2}HE WHISPERS: which I do like - 676 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,520 {\an2}NORMAL VOICE: made you look like a serial killer just... 677 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,240 {\an2}Your second idea was, "Running into the road, 678 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:22,600 {\an2}"but not in a sad way"? 679 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,640 {\an2}LAUGHTER Yeah. 680 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,080 {\an2}As in, like, a "wahey" way, rather than a "ohh" way. 681 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:29,120 {\an2}Do you know what I mean? 682 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,600 {\an2}If we watch you run into the road now into traffic... 683 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,760 {\an2}Yeah. ..we'll see drivers going, "Mischief!" 684 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:36,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 685 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,800 {\an2}I look forward to seeing the mischief. 686 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,040 {\an2}OK, will Sue Perkins find the secret task, 687 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,760 {\an2}instead of doing the actual task? 688 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,840 {\an2}Will Lucy Beaumont steal a pacemaker? 689 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,440 {\an2}Let's find out right now. 690 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,240 {\an1}CRACKS KNUCKLES 691 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:57,960 {\an2}Hello. Hi. 692 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,880 {\an2}Come in, take a seat. 693 00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:01,680 {\an2}Put your blindfold on. 694 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,360 {\an2}SPOOKY VOICE: Are you ready for the seance? 695 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,920 {\an2}NORMAL VOICE: Who's going to come through? 696 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:22,880 {\an2}It's a man. 697 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,440 {\an2}He's called Simon. 698 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,440 {\an2}Simon was in marketing. 699 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:34,480 {\an2}"Hello, Alex. 700 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:37,400 {\an2}"I have reversed roles and set you a task. 701 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:38,560 {\an2}"Mischief! 702 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,280 {\an2}"Please follow the trail of lollipops. 703 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,200 {\an2}"You must unwrap and put each lolly in your mouth as you go. 704 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,480 {\an2}"Follow the lollies to the final destination for 705 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,040 {\an2}"the ultimate mischievous surprise." 706 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,440 {\an2}Can you hear me, Simon? 707 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:55,360 {\an2}DEEP SCOTTISH VOICE: "Hello, Lucy." 708 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,120 {\an2}NORMAL VOICE: Hello. 709 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,920 {\an2}How is it in Heaven? SHE BLOWS 710 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,720 {\an2}"It's a lot like Earth. 711 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:02,560 {\an2}"We've got a DFS." 712 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:03,800 {\an2}Have you, Simon? 713 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,160 {\an2}I think this is dangerous. 714 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 715 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:17,760 {\an1}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 716 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,920 {\an2}Simon, can you tell us anything else interesting? 717 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,280 {\an2}"No, that's about it." 718 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,040 {\an2}Oh, OK, then, Simon, 719 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:29,640 {\an2}I'm afraid it's time to go. 720 00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:30,920 {\an2}One... 721 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:35,160 {\an2}VOICE ON SPEAKER: ..two, three, four, five, 722 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:40,680 {\an2}six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 723 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:44,400 {\an2}11, 12, 13. 724 00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:47,880 {\an2}You may remove your blindfolds now. 725 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:48,920 {\an2}Bye! 726 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,080 {\an2}MUFFLED: Oh, hello! 727 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:03,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 728 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:04,960 {\an1}APPLAUSE 729 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:06,440 {\an2}Portcullis! 730 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:09,480 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 731 00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:13,920 {\an2}Wow, and I mocked you. 732 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,320 {\an2}I mocked you for saying you think that portcullis made you think 733 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,320 {\an2}of mischief - how wrong I was. 734 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,440 {\an2}What do you think was my favourite part of your task? 735 00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,680 {\an2}Well, Alex's suffering is important to you. 736 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:25,960 {\an2}I know that. Very important! 737 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,480 {\an2}And that was my second-favourite thing about your response. 738 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:31,680 {\an2}My favourite thing was you shouting "portcullis" like a child. 739 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,800 {\an2}Fantastic. Lucy. 740 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,040 {\an2}I think you were hampered by bad actors. 741 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:39,800 {\an2}They all looked bored shitless... 742 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 743 00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:44,200 {\an2}..when I think that Lucy's idea was very creative. 744 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:46,480 {\an2}Yeah, cos that's what they used to do, didn't they? 745 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:48,640 {\an2}Used to do that, and then, nick the stuff off them. 746 00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,040 {\an2}Oh, this is a historical-based response. 747 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:52,240 {\an2}I think so, yeah. 748 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,880 {\an2}I really enjoyed it. Who's next? 749 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:56,520 {\an2}Ah, OK, well, now it's Susan's attempt - 750 00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:58,920 {\an2}but we're not going to actually see Susan, are we, Susan? 751 00:32:58,960 --> 00:32:59,960 {\an2}No. 752 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,560 {\an2}Mischief! Ooh. 753 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,120 {\an2}Here we go. SUSAN CHUCKLES 754 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,000 {\an2}Do you want to pop in there and shut the door? 755 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,720 {\an2}SAM: In the toilet? Yeah, and probably lock it. 756 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,480 {\an2}CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY What are you playing at? 757 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:26,200 {\an2}Oh. 758 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:31,520 {\an2}"Stand up and shout 'mice' whenever you see or hear mice. 759 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:36,520 {\an2}"Sit down and whisper 'fish' whenever you see or hear a fish." 760 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,000 {\an2}What? 761 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:42,440 {\an2}Ah, "You've got 20 minutes and must stay in this room. 762 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,080 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 763 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,000 {\an2}What the heck is going on with that? 764 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:49,560 {\an2}SINGLE SQUEAK Mice. 765 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,000 {\an2}Fish. 766 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:54,480 {\an1}SQUEAKING 767 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,760 {\an2}Mice! 768 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,400 {\an1}CAT MEOWS 769 00:33:57,440 --> 00:33:58,600 {\an2}Mice! 770 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:00,800 {\an2}Fish. 771 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:03,640 {\an2}Oh, mice! 772 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:05,880 {\an2}Fish. 773 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:07,680 {\an2}Ah! Mice! 774 00:34:07,720 --> 00:34:09,520 {\an2}Er, mice! 775 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,440 {\an2}Oh, my God. 776 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,120 {\an2}That's a seal. 777 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,080 {\an8}Fish. Mice! Fish. Fish. 778 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:16,720 {\an8}Mice! Fish. AUDIENCE LAUGHS 779 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:22,280 {\an2}What are you doing, what are you doing? 780 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:23,920 {\an2}Are you drawing some fish? Yeah. 781 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:28,040 {\an2}Fish. Fish. 782 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,960 {\an2}Fish. Fish. 783 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:33,960 {\an2}Fish. 784 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,040 {\an8}Fish. WHISTLE BLOWS 785 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:37,600 {\an2}I reckon I did really well on this one. 786 00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,800 {\an2}But did you have any idea that I would smash that 787 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,280 {\an2}and start creating my own beasts? 788 00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,120 {\an2}No, I didn't expect that at all. 789 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,360 {\an2}That was very mischievous. Yeah. 790 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:46,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 791 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,560 {\an1}APPLAUSE 792 00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:53,520 {\an2}Are you just finding this out now? 793 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,000 {\an2}This lady's a nutjob. 794 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:58,840 {\an2}And you invented the game? 795 00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:02,440 {\an2}I wanted it to be, like I said, like, victim-based... 796 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,360 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah. 797 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,560 {\an2}..and you were the victim. So sorry! 798 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,520 {\an2}It was - that was amazing 799 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,800 {\an2}but it was so just, like, you know, lock her up! 800 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:18,800 {\an2}You never spotted that mice, fish is an anagram of mischief. 801 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,280 {\an2}Ohh! 802 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,680 {\an2}How deep does this go, Wokoma?! 803 00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:25,200 {\an2}Right! Advert time. 804 00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:27,440 {\an2}Turn your TV off, kick the kids out, 805 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,440 {\an2}and make love to your partner now. 806 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,560 {\an2}Hey, if there's grandparents in the room, 807 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,120 {\an2}chuck a towel over their face. 808 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,360 {\an2}Enjoy! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 809 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:48,680 {\an2}Hello! Welcome back to the last part of the show, 810 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:50,840 {\an2}where mischief is being made. 811 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,680 {\an2}As per bloody usual. 812 00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:56,440 {\an2}Before the break, we saw Sam doing Susan's mischievous task for Susan, 813 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,360 {\an2}and now, here's Sam doing Sam's mischievous task 814 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:01,120 {\an2}for Sam. Hm. 815 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:05,640 {\an2}OK! Time for the big prank... 816 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:07,120 {\an8}Ahh, no! 817 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:08,480 {\an8}Ahh, no! 818 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,280 {\an8}DISTORTED: Ahh, no! 819 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:16,520 {\an8}Oh, my God! Oh, no! No! 820 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,480 {\an1}AUDIENCE LAUGHS 821 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,200 {\an2}Pretty mischievous stuff. 822 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:38,520 {\an1}APPLAUSE 823 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,200 {\an2}So, two things to analyse - where the mischief is, 824 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:45,640 {\an2}and what the narrative of your performance was. 825 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,000 {\an2}So, he thinks I'm going to do a prank call. Yeah. 826 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,560 {\an2}Suddenly, it's gone in the water. 827 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,000 {\an2}He goes, "Well, surely he's not going to smash this thing 828 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,680 {\an2}"to bits with a hammer." 829 00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:55,800 {\an2}But, to be an effective act of mischief, 830 00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:58,320 {\an2}you would've wanted Alex to think, "Oh, God that's my phone." 831 00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:00,040 {\an2}Yeah, I did smash his phone cover. 832 00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,080 {\an2}Did you think it was your phone that went into...? 833 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,360 {\an2}Not once. Not for a second. 834 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:08,000 {\an2}Finally, it's the chief of mischief, it's Julian Clary. 835 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:09,520 {\an2}"Dear Stephen, 836 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:11,200 {\an2}"I think you're great. 837 00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:13,000 {\an2}"Always happy and smiling. 838 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:15,120 {\an2}"I love all your shows. 839 00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:17,080 {\an2}"Especially the one you do in car parks 840 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,400 {\an2}"where you give strangers money. 841 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,360 {\an2}"Congratulations on Deal Or No Deal. 842 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:23,960 {\an2}"It'll be the best. 843 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000 {\an2}"Please, can I have a signed photo? 844 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:27,680 {\an2}"Thank you, Peter McDonald." 845 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,360 {\an2}That's that one. 846 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,800 {\an2}"Dear Jacob... 847 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,520 {\an2}"..Rees-Mogg. 848 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,080 {\an2}"I think you're great. 849 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,160 {\an2}"And I hope you get to be Prime Minister." 850 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:41,480 {\an2}You'll be the best... 851 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:43,600 {\an2}"You'll be the best since Thatcher." 852 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:44,640 {\an2}..Thatcher. 853 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:48,360 {\an2}"I'm only young, but one day, I want to be a politician, too. 854 00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:50,400 {\an2}"Please, may I have a signed photo? 855 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,400 {\an2}"Thank you" - oh, I've said thank you. 856 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:53,640 {\an2}Best wishes? 857 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,880 {\an2}"Best wishes, Peter McDonald." 858 00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:00,640 {\an2}Mischief. 859 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 860 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:09,320 {\an2}Your mischief is to falsely encourage two individuals 861 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:11,640 {\an2}by sending a fan letter to... 862 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:14,360 {\an2}..Jacob Rees-Mogg and Stephen Mulhern. 863 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:15,640 {\an2}Yes. 864 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,080 {\an2}Why those two men? 865 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,280 {\an2}I was amused by the idea that they'd write back. 866 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:23,600 {\an2}That's where the mischief is. 867 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,240 {\an2}Jacob Rees-Mogg did write back. 868 00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:26,400 {\an2}Are you joking? 869 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:28,360 {\an2}He genuinely did write back. Mm-hm. 870 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,360 {\an1}WHEEZING LAUGHTER 871 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,080 {\an1}APPLAUSE 872 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,120 {\an2}Oh, wow. 873 00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:34,600 {\an2}Erm, Stephen Mulhern didn't 874 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,880 {\an2}because we didn't put enough postage on the envelope, 875 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,600 {\an2}so your letter got sent back to us. 876 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,720 {\an2}And that was the end of that trail. 877 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,680 {\an2}Ah. Will you write back to him? 878 00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,640 {\an2}Well, I'll wait for the next full moon. 879 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,160 {\an2}Something unspeakable may happen. 880 00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:52,000 {\an2}That's really mischievous. 881 00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:53,040 {\an2}It's brilliant. 882 00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,040 {\an2}OK, look, I'll give out some points. OK. 883 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,520 {\an2}I'm only going to give Sam 1 point because of his phone nonsense. 884 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:00,680 {\an2}Fair enough, 1 point to you, Sam. Yeah. 885 00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:03,680 {\an2}Lucy - I mean, I don't think it was necessarily her fault. 886 00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:06,320 {\an2}I think the whole production was a problem. Right, OK. 887 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,480 {\an2}But I'll give her 2 points. OK, well done, Lucy. 888 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,440 {\an2}I don't think there's any serious intent to upset 889 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,000 {\an2}Jacob Rees-Mogg or Stephen Mulhern, 890 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:17,560 {\an2}and therefore, 3 points to Julian. OK. 891 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:21,080 {\an2}There was great innocence and mischief in making you eat 892 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,400 {\an2}a load of lollies, and then, trapping you with a portcullis. 893 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:28,680 {\an2}Let's never forget the cry of "portcullis!" 894 00:39:28,720 --> 00:39:30,840 {\an2}from five-year-old Sue. 895 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:32,960 {\an2}4 points. OK, well done, Sue. 896 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:34,920 {\an2}The most mischievous was Susan's. 897 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,360 {\an2}So, 5 points to Susan. 898 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,720 {\an2}5 points to Susan! Well done, Susan. 899 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,080 {\an2}Let's have a quick look at the scores. We can. 900 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,560 {\an2}With a massive 16 points, the leader at the moment 901 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:44,840 {\an2}is Susan Wokoma! 902 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:46,680 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 903 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,440 {\an2}Right, will you all please head to the stage for 904 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,080 {\an2}the final task of the show! 905 00:39:58,240 --> 00:40:01,520 {\an2}Hello there, sonny Jim, who will be reading this task out? 906 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,360 {\an2}This time, Sue Perkins shall read the task out. 907 00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,520 {\an2}Sue Perkins, take it away. 908 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,520 {\an2}"Write down one thing you like 909 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,360 {\an2}"and one thing you don't like. 910 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,360 {\an2}"You have 30 seconds." 911 00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,720 {\an2}So, you have a little whiteboard to your left and a pen on the floor. 912 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,080 {\an2}Something you like, something you don't like. 913 00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,040 {\an2}30 seconds, starts now. BLOWS WHISTLE 914 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,000 {\an2}Nice and big, nice and clear. 915 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,040 {\an1}BLOWS WHISTLE 916 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:32,800 {\an2}Oh. That's the first part of the task done. 917 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,880 {\an2}Oh, no! Now, Sue. 918 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,160 {\an2}Please don't say draw it. 919 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:39,040 {\an2}Oh. 920 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,200 {\an2}Oh, no. 921 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:45,920 {\an2}"Draw your two things... LAUGHTER 922 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,600 {\an2}"..at the same time. 923 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,520 {\an2}"You must be drawing with both hands 924 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:54,080 {\an2}"and stare at the Taskmaster throughout. 925 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,560 {\an2}"Best pair of pictures wins!" Ahh. 926 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,080 {\an2}If we could have the thing you do like on your right-hand side, 927 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:04,400 {\an2}and the thing you don't like on the left, that'd be nice. 928 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,560 {\an2}Greg, it's your job to keep them looking at you. 929 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,080 {\an2}Good luck. Your time starts... 930 00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,120 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 931 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,560 {\an2}Don't glance, don't you glance. 932 00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,520 {\an2}Ideally, you're drawing at the same time. Both your hands. 933 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,840 {\an2}Both at the same time, Julian. 934 00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,680 {\an2}It's impossible. No. 935 00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:26,080 {\an2}What is it? 936 00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:27,120 {\an2}Sam, Sam. 937 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:28,880 {\an2}SAM: How are you? Eyes on the prize. 938 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:30,640 {\an2}Yes, sir. I see you. 939 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,640 {\an2}Both hands drawing, please. Oh, shit. 940 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:34,280 {\an2}Sounded like - ah-ba-ba-ba-ba! 941 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,120 {\an2}SUE: I don't think that can be bettered. 942 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,600 {\an2}Five seconds! 943 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:41,440 {\an2}Four, three, two, one. Three, two, one. 944 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:43,840 {\an2}No.And stop! WHISTLE BLOWS 945 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,080 {\an1}APPLAUSE 946 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,240 {\an2}Are you expecting great works of art, Greg? 947 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,920 {\an2}I really am not. 948 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,640 {\an2}So, please, Julian, show Greg both your pictures at once. 949 00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:58,840 {\an2}What do you think he's drawn, Greg? 950 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,160 {\an2}Ah, I'm sort of a bit disturbed that the one on the right 951 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:02,880 {\an2}looks a bit like me. 952 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,480 {\an2}Oh, hang on a minute. 953 00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,360 {\an2}Is it Jacob Rees-Mogg and Stephen Mulhern? 954 00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,520 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 955 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,760 {\an2}Lucy, would you like to reveal your drawings. 956 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,320 {\an2}Both at the same time, if you can. Or not, it's fine. 957 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,200 {\an2}Well, that's a strong opener. 958 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,280 {\an2}You can tell what they are, though, can't ya? 959 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:25,600 {\an2}I can't even tell if they're a creature or a plant. 960 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:27,880 {\an2}Lucy, do you want to show us on your board what you wrote? 961 00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,960 {\an2}Sorry, I've not got very good writing... 962 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,000 {\an8}..writing. 963 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,760 {\an8}Peas and cauliflower. 964 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,920 {\an7}LAUGHTER 965 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,400 {\an2}Peas aren't bad! OK, Sam Campbell. 966 00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,760 {\an2}Hi, Sam. Reveal your drawings at once, please. 967 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,120 {\an2}Oh, wow. It looks like keys. 968 00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,120 {\an2}So, wow, they're falling. That's just, yeah. 969 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:50,720 {\an2}Like, er, meteorites? 970 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:52,720 {\an2}Oh. 971 00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:53,960 {\an2}Not so much. 972 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:57,720 {\an2}Tell me, and I'll decide if they're better than Lucy's peas. 973 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:02,440 {\an2}"World cinema and negative gearing." 974 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER 975 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,240 {\an2}I don't know what negative gearing is. 976 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,520 {\an2}It's to do with people, like, flipping houses. 977 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,480 {\an2}Yeah, it's a situation where expenses associated with an asset 978 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,360 {\an2}including interest expenses are greater than the income earned from 979 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:17,360 {\an2}the asset, and he's tried to represent that with 980 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:18,400 {\an2}his picture there. 981 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:20,680 {\an2}These are gears, and they're falling, yeah. 982 00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:22,680 {\an2}But how the hell am I going to score that? 983 00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:23,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER 984 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,280 {\an2}Do you want to move on to Sue Perkins? Yeah. 985 00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:29,920 {\an2}Oh, wow. 986 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,400 {\an2}Right, now they're good in that I can see they're people. 987 00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,160 {\an2}Are they people? 988 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:37,120 {\an2}That does look a bit like Jacob Rees-Mogg, but it isn't him. 989 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:38,520 {\an2}Tell me. 990 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:40,480 {\an2}Erm... 991 00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,720 {\an2}..it's Stephen Mulhern and Jacob Rees-Mogg. 992 00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 993 00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,720 {\an1}APPLAUSE 994 00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:47,720 {\an2}I said Jacob Rees-Mogg! 995 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:52,120 {\an2}Very clever. Susan, reveal your drawings, please. 996 00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,160 {\an2}Whoa! There we go. SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 997 00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,120 {\an2}Is that the big-boobed woman and the sexy dog again? 998 00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,600 {\an2}No. That's a person. That's a tick? Yes. 999 00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:02,000 {\an2}Do you want to give me any clues? 1000 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,280 {\an2}One person is doing something, 1001 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,680 {\an2}and the other person has an attribute that I don't like. 1002 00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:09,120 {\an2}This one's walking a dog. 1003 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:10,560 {\an2}No. 1004 00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,840 {\an2}Just tell me. OK, so that's dancing, cos that's a music sign. 1005 00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:18,360 {\an2}Yes. And then this is, er, sweaty backs. 1006 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:23,320 {\an2}So, that was like the back... and that was the sweat. 1007 00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,480 {\an2}But I-I didn't get it outside the circumference of the person, 1008 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,040 {\an2}cos I couldn't see. Yeah. 1009 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:31,520 {\an2}All right, Greg, you've got ten beautiful pictures. Yeah. 1010 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,760 {\an2}Whilst I admire the creativity, 1011 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:37,200 {\an2}I didn't recognise either thing in Sam's drawing, 1012 00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:39,480 {\an2}so I can only give Sam 1 point. No problem. 1013 00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,040 {\an2}Lucy, I give 2 points to, 1014 00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:43,040 {\an2}because I recognised that those were peas. 1015 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,480 {\an2}And she's very pleased with the points. Yeah. Thank you. 1016 00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:48,240 {\an2}Who's next? Susan, because I recognised they were people, 1017 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,960 {\an2}but I didn't know that there was a sweaty-backed person there. 1018 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:53,760 {\an2}Or any dancing going on. 3 points. 1019 00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:55,280 {\an2}3 points to Susan, OK, lovely. 1020 00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:57,600 {\an2}Er, I guessed only one of Sue's Jacob Rees-Mogg 1021 00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,280 {\an2}and Stephen Mulhern's tribute, 1022 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:01,960 {\an2}so she must have 4 points. Mm-hm. 1023 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,480 {\an2}And the winner, cos I guessed both of them, is Julian Clary... 1024 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,960 {\an2}Congratulations, Julian Clary, 5 points! 1025 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,160 {\an2}Please, we will add that to the final score, 1026 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:11,520 {\an2}come back down and join me! 1027 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,720 {\an1}CHEERING 1028 00:45:17,320 --> 00:45:19,360 {\an2}Well, that was pretty high-octane drawing. 1029 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,800 {\an2}They did well. Julian did the best, so well done, Julian, 1030 00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:22,840 {\an2}5 points to you. 1031 00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:27,720 {\an2}But the other scores means that the final league table looks like this. 1032 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:29,920 {\an2}Sue and Susan both have 19 points! 1033 00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:31,720 {\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS 1034 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,040 {\an2}We're going to have to do a tie-break Greg. Oh, God. 1035 00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:35,560 {\an2}Oh, whoa, whoa. I don't like these. 1036 00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:37,720 {\an2}And this tie-break is a numbers tie-break... Oh. 1037 00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,000 {\an2}..where they simply have to learn Pi to the most decimal places. 1038 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:44,800 {\an2}They had two minutes, so here they are doing the Pi break. 1039 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,560 {\an2}Here it is. Oh, f... What? 1040 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,560 {\an2}That's Pi. So, you want me to learn that? 1041 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,280 {\an2}I'm terrible at things like this. 1042 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:52,400 {\an2}Hmm. 1043 00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:53,960 {\an2}WHISTLE BLOWS Ooh! 1044 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,440 {\an2}Please, can I have my Pi back? 1045 00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:56,600 {\an2}Thank you, Sue. 1046 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:58,480 {\an2}Please, can you tell me the number Pi? 1047 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,120 {\an8}The end. 1048 00:46:14,160 --> 00:46:17,000 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1049 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,360 {\an2}And so, Sue Perkins wins the episode! 1050 00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:26,480 {\an2}Please shoot up to celebrate with your silly signage! 1051 00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:29,120 {\an1}CHEERING 1052 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:33,000 {\an2}So, what have we learnt today? 1053 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,320 {\an2}We've learnt that the meaning of words can change. 1054 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,040 {\an2}Who knew a big, square sperm could mean cheeky? 1055 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,840 {\an2}Who knew that it could also mean concealing your hair under a hat? 1056 00:46:41,880 --> 00:46:45,760 {\an2}Mischief, on the other hand, has only one clear definition. 1057 00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:50,880 {\an2}Mischief - a grown woman excitedly shouting the word "portcullis". 1058 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,960 {\an2}Please give one more round of applause for tonight's winner, 1059 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,080 {\an2}she is Sue Perkins! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1060 00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:24,040 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media