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{\an2}This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
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{\an2}SHE CAWS
Ah.Good evening.
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{\an2}Ah!
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{\an2}Argh!
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{\an2}Oh!
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{\an2}Bla-la-la-la-la.
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{\an2}I trained at RADA.
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{\an2}What have I created?
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{\an2}Sorry.
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{\an2}How we laughed.
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{\an2}Ah!
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{\an2}Huh?
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{\an1}APPLAUSE
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{\an2}Hello!
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{\an2}Thank you. Welcome to Taskmaster.
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{\an2}I'm Greg Davies.
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{\an2}And I have a smorgsabord
of tasks for you
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{\an2}from a wondrous gang of loons.
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{\an2}And if that's not enough, I've also
got a second camera
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{\an2}trained on me at all times.
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{\an2}Felt cute. Might delete later.
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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{\an2}We are tit deep in the competition
so let's crack on.
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{\an2}Please welcome Julian Clary,
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{\an2}Lucy Beaumont,
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{\an2}Sam Campbell,
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{\an2}Sue Perkins
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{\an2}and Susan Wokoma.
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{\an2}And next to me a man who
told me that if he sees
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{\an2}the pilot of any plane he boards is
a woman, he immediately leaves.
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{\an2}Because he believes and I quote
that "Their concentration spans
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{\an2}"and motor skills are not
suited to the job."
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{\an2}It's little Alex Horne.
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{\an2}Hi, there, thank you for
my introduction. You're welcome.
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{\an2}Well, I do worry about
these bits, Greg,
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{\an2}I worry that sometimes they create
an atmosphere that isn't,
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{\an2}er, entirely pleasant or useful
for the show. They do.
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{\an2}I'm worried that I've created
a rod for my own back.
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{\an2}Oh. Would you like to see it?
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{\an2}Yeah.
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{\an2}I...I've created a rod for my own...
I've got a rod,
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{\an2}I've created a rod for my own back
and then I talked about this...
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{\an2}The rod for my... In the
set up in the bit and...
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{\an2}So what's the punchline?
Something about a hook?
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{\an2}Yeah. I was...I was going to...
Oh, oh, I think I've got a bite.
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{\an2}Or oh... Oh, no, no, no.
I think I've got a bite's fine.
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{\an2}Yeah?
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{\an2}Have you had Botox?
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{\an2}Well, first...first...
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{\an2}It's a straight yes or no.
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{\an2}It's definite no. But why
would you ask?
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{\an2}Cos I just... In...in the light
I can see how smooth it all is.
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{\an2}I'm younger than you. And it
never used to be smooth.
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{\an2}I'm a lot, like, two decades younger.
I know you're younger than me.
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{\an2}Have you had some fillers
or something?
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{\an2}No. I...I...
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{\an2}On we go with the prize task.
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{\an2}Well, Greg, they've been
asked to bring in
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{\an2}the thing that is most guaranteed
to make you groan.
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{\an2}Oh. AUDIENCE: Ooh.
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{\an2}Oh, dear. I know.
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{\an2}The potential for some awful
things is high.
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{\an2}The thing most guaranteed to make
you groan in Greg's opinion
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{\an2}gets the big five and the winner's
going to groan their way home
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{\an2}with five groan-worthy things. Oh.
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{\an2}Oh, God.
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{\an2}I mean, the chances of these
not being sexual
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{\an2}based on what I've seen from these
people so far are zero.
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{\an2}I'll be less surprised than I was
when I found out
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{\an2}Alex had had cosmetic surgery.
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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{\an2}Hi, Sam, what thing have you
brought in that makes you groan?
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{\an2}Oh, this thing is disgusting.
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{\an2}Let's have a look at it.
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{\an2}It's a toothbrush.
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{\an2}Oh! Oh!
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{\an2}That's against God. Oh!
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{\an2}There's a lot going on there,
isn't there?
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{\an2}I mean I can barely look at
this thing.
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{\an2}It's just... Don't you find that
just really grotty?
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{\an2}I think I'm groaning because
I'm so bemused by you.
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{\an2}Thanks, Sam. Next?
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{\an2}All right, Lucy.
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{\an2}It's a serious thing. OK.
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{\an2}Um, it's a lesson in the
importance of cartilage.
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{\an2}It's taken the form of this
skeleton.
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{\an2}So it's pointing obviously to
the areas that have cartilage.
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{\an2}Why is this supposed
to make me groan?
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{\an2}If you don't have cartilage. Yeah.
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{\an2}You...you'll groan... You'll groan.
..when you, uh, bend and lift.
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{\an2}I'm giving a gift to whoever
wins to say look after that.
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{\an2}Look after your cartilage.
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{\an2}And how do we look after
our cartilage?
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{\an2}I don't know.
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{\an2}I mean both of them have made
me groan. Hmm.
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{\an2}So I suppose, yeah.
Successful so far. OK.
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{\an2}Uh, hello, Julian. Hello.
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{\an2}Um, what have you brought in that
might make one groan?
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{\an2}Oh, it's so awful this,
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{\an2}every year for my birthday
my husband goes into a shop
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{\an2}and asks them for the most hideous
thing they've got on sale. Right.
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{\an2}And this I what he got me
a couple of years ago and I...
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{\an2}every time I look at it I groan.
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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{\an2}It's so awful.
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{\an2}Someone said it looks like
Alex without his beard.
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{\an2}I dunno,
he's got a normal-width neck.
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{\an2}But it does make me groan every time
I see it which is quite often.
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{\an2}But you can't bring yourself to
throw it away because you're...?
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{\an2}This is the golden opportunity
to pass it on.
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{\an2}Good. Hello, Sue. Hello.
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{\an2}What have you brought in that might
make a man or a woman groan?
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{\an2}I thought what would be the best
way to make everyone groan
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{\an2}and I thought, well, maybe if
I asked an authority figure
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{\an2}and so I asked the king of the
bird men and he said yes.
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{\an2}I've got a voice that could stun a
goat from over a mile away.
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{\an2}And when I ask for a loud
noise it gets done.
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{\an2}Just ask the wing bird man,
Brian Blessed you groan,
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{\an2}like your life depends on it.
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{\an2}Come on, come on. Groan.
You feckless bastards.
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{\an2}Come on! Groan.
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{\an2}The full recording's on this
memory stick.
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{\an2}You've really outdone yourself
there, Perkins.
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{\an2}That's amazing. That is stupendous.
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{\an2}Susan. Oh.
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{\an2}Traditionally this is not your
strongest round. No.
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{\an2}And you're following a recording
of Brian Blessed.
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{\an2}I...
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{\an2}Good luck.
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{\an2}As Greg so kindly said I, uh,
have been performing
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{\an2}quite poorly when it comes
to the prizes.
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{\an2}And here are a few of
the shit prizes.
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{\an2}That's actually very good.
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{\an2}One big present to make you groan.
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{\an2}So have you collected these from
the previous winners of the show?
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{\an2}Yes, I have.
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{\an2}They're all so shit that all these
guys actually gave them back to me.
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{\an2}That's very good. Right, I'm going
to give out some quick points.
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{\an2}All right then, who is the least
likely to make you groan?
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{\an2}Well, I'm not going to give anyone
1 point cos I liked all of them.
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{\an2}So, that's good, isn't it? I'm
going
to give Sam and Lucy two points,
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{\an2}and I'll tell you why, it's because
it was her explanation
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{\an2}that made me groan, not the item.
Right, two points each. Well done.
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{\an2}Yeah, that's good, isn't it?
Well done. Sorry.
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{\an2}I'm going to give...
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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{\an2}I'm going to give Julian 3
points, ask me why.
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{\an2}Why are you going to give
Julian 3 points?
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{\an2}Because that thing's awful,
it does make me groan
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{\an2}but the sentiment behind it is
rather lovely I think. Oh.
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{\an2}And, so I'm sort of not giving
him too many points
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{\an2}to celebrate his wonderful
marriage. Oh.
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{\an2}There's a logic there somewhere.
OK.
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{\an2}I'm going to give Susan,
because my God she's had
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{\an2}a nightmare in this series,
I'm going to give her 4 points
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{\an2}for her very clever idea of
getting her shit prizes back
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{\an2}and putting them all together.
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{\an2}And, of course, Brian Blessed
will get the 5 points.
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{\an2}There we go, 5 points to
Sue Perkins. Yeah!
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{\an1}APPLAUSE
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{\an2}Right, let's stop talking about
cosmetic surgery
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{\an2}and let the tasking commence.
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{\an2}But be warned it's a minefield
out there, Greg.
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{\an1}KNOCK AT DOOR
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{\an2}Hello.
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{\an2}Can I come in?
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{\an2}Please do.
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{\an8}This looks fiendish.
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{\an8}Look at all these bells, ah.
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{\an8}That says 'Don't' on it.
But I do I want to, I won't.
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{\an8}OK. Ah, ooh. Piss it.
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{\an2}Hang on. Right.
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{\an2}I've found some little bits
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{\an8}of paper that say
'vibration, danger'
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{\an8}'Big light, leaves.'
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{\an8}'Sound.'
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{\an8}'UV light, smoke, vibration.'
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{\an8}It's like an Ann Summers party.
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{\an8}Do whatever you like with
these switches for five minutes.
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{\an8}OK. You will then do a task in
the lab for five minutes. All
right.
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{\an8}The conditions in the lab
will change according
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{\an8}to when you switch the
switches in here.
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{\an8}So there's a cause and
effect situation.
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{\an8}The annoying thing is I don't know
what the switches do.
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{\an8}I have told you what the switches
do it's all on those labels.
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{\an8}Your time starts when Alex
is confident you understand
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{\an8}the task.
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{\an8}Confident and Alex are two words
one
doesn't associate.
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{\an8}Wonder what the task is.
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{\an8}What have you put in there?
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{\an8}Leaves. Leaves.
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{\an8}Surely that's the main switch.
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{\an8}I expect danger is that one.
Oh, I, I don't know.
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{\an8}I don't think I trust you.
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{\an8}What's that one? Like I don't
know what that one is.
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{\an8}It's like with this, what's the
point of, like, trying to like...?
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{\an8}What will be will be.
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{\an2}I really think that piss it is an
underrated exclamation.
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{\an2}I really enjoyed piss it.
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{\an2}It is lovely, isn't it?
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{\an2}It's nice, it's harmless,
it's warm.
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{\an2}The task as far as I can work
out before we get on with it is,
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{\an2}it's largely arbitrary that they
don't know
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{\an2}which label goes with which switch.
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{\an2}Bit like giving a toy to a child
and saying, don't play with that
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{\an2}for five minutes and... Yeah.
And probably they all did.
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{\an2}Well, let's crack on. Yeah.
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{\an2}OK, get ready, Greg, here they all
are flicking themselves silly.
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{\an2}Oh.Oh.
LAUGHTER
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{\an8}I'm confident you understand
the task. Your time starts now.
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{\an8}I'll start with a bit of leaves.
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{\an8}If I leave it on do leaves
keep coming?
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{\an8}Well, it depends if it is leaves,
of course.
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{\an8}Of course. Yeah.
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{\an8}I'll turn it off again now. Right.
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{\an8}That one's already on so I
think I'll turn that one off.
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{\an8}I mean, that's danger right there,
that nearly took my hand off.
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{\an8}Well, it does say "Don't".
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{\an8}I mean lights are not going to
bother me, are they?
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00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,840
{\an8}I'm going to give myself a bit
of time once I'm in there
221
00:09:58,880 --> 00:09:59,880
{\an8}just to muck around.
222
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,280
{\an8}Blimey it's all happening.
223
00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,440
{\an8}This one. That one.
224
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,080
{\an8}All right, now we're going to...
Oh, no wait a second, would you?
225
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,240
{\an8}It wasn't a very long rest.
226
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,400
{\an8}No.
227
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,240
{\an8}I need to have a bit of this one.
228
00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,320
{\an8}I don't know what, though.
I don't like going upside down,
229
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,680
{\an8}spiders, uh, hot dogs,
you know the ones in tins.
230
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,960
{\an8}I don't like, you know, if you
pull cotton wool apart.
231
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,800
{\an8}Folk music.
232
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,080
{\an8}I don't like ice cubes.
233
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,440
{\an8}What if that's leaves?
234
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,360
{\an8}I've been denied the pleasure
of leaves.
235
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,000
{\an8}30 seconds.
236
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,840
{\an8}How much longer?
237
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,240
{\an8}Three seconds.
238
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,640
{\an8}WHISTLE
OK, I'll see you in the lab, Sam.
239
00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,280
{\an8}Well... Yeah, great thank you.
240
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:17,800
{\an8}What have I done? Oh, dear.
What have I done?
241
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,640
{\an2}What have you done, Julian,
do you think that...?
242
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,440
{\an2}Well, we just didn't know. You
know,
it was quite a lot of fun.
243
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,040
{\an2}No and yet, across the series
you seem a very intelligent man
244
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,280
{\an2}to me and yet you spent a long time
flicking those switches on and off.
245
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,760
{\an2}Well, there was nothing else to do.
246
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,240
{\an2}There was no cheery chat from Alex.
247
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,960
{\an2}No. There never is.
248
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,320
{\an2}Well, Sam said, "I want to buy
myself some
249
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,320
{\an2}"time once I'm in there
to muck around."
250
00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,080
{\an2}Yeah, it is about that in a way.
251
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,280
{\an2}Hmm.
252
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,360
{\an2}You know when two
samurai encounter...
253
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,040
{\an2}This is real. Yeah.
When they encounter each other,
254
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,080
{\an2}they'll, like...
Do you know what I mean?
255
00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,640
{\an2}And then the first one
to move will often be slain.
256
00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,400
{\an2}And also a samurai can tell if he
will defeat another samurai just by
257
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,920
{\an2}watching them making a cup of
tea cos they're like,
258
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,320
{\an2}they see how effective they are.
259
00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,320
{\an2}I...I've moved, yeah. Yeah.
260
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,800
{\an2}I...I'm happy to be slain just
to get out of this chat.
261
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,560
{\an2}What's next, Alex?
262
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,400
{\an2}Here are Sam and Susan and
the results of their switching.
263
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,160
{\an2}My God.
264
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,440
{\an2}So you've decided... Oh, my God.
265
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,720
{\an2}Yeah. You've decided the
conditions for this task.
266
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,760
{\an2}Yeah.
267
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,280
{\an2}I'm scared.
268
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,880
{\an2}What happens in here is all
your fault.
269
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,360
{\an2}OK.
270
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,760
{\an2}Feet close together, please. Why?
271
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:49,920
{\an2}It's important.
272
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,200
{\an2}That's not good for balance.
273
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,320
{\an2}No.
274
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,480
{\an2}'Balance the most tees on the
shelves.' So these are the tees.
275
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,840
{\an2}Uh-huh. OK.
276
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,920
{\an2}Oh, 'You must stay on the
platform throughout the task.
277
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,560
{\an2}'You have five minutes.
278
00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,440
{\an2}'Your time starts when Alex is
confident you understand the task.'
279
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,000
{\an2}Where are the golf tees?
280
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,720
{\an2}Here. Where are the shelves?
281
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,000
{\an2}Here.
282
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,080
{\an2}I'm going to start the clock now.
283
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,520
{\an2}Absolutely terrified.
284
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,720
{\an2}Do you like it?
285
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,280
{\an8}My method was kind of doing
everything at once.
286
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,120
{\an8}So I guess everything wild
will happen.
287
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:47,640
{\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell.
Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell.
288
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,960
{\an2}Why is it saying my name?
289
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,640
{\an2}Well, you switched the
sound button on. Sam Campbell.
290
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,680
{\an2}I can't work under these
conditions.
291
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,920
{\an2}Oh, my God!
292
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,000
{\an2}Fucking hell.
293
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,560
{\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell.
294
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,800
{\an2}This is insane. Sam Campbell.
295
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,440
{\an2}No!
296
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,920
{\an2}How... What time are we up to?
297
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,560
{\an2}Uh, you've got two minutes 50 left.
298
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,720
{\an2}Yeah. No tees yet.
299
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,240
{\an2}Can you remember what you did
now in the...?
300
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,200
{\an2}Oh, this is when I have a
break. Yes.
301
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,320
{\an2}Right, fine. Well, then this is the
most that I'm going to get on.
302
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,440
{\an2}Oh, yeah it was only like
30 seconds, wasn't it?
303
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,480
{\an2}20.
304
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,360
{\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell.
305
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,760
{\an2}I mean how is that falling off even
through that.
306
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,680
{\an2}Well, you've turned on
the vibration switch.
307
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,680
{\an2}Now I know I shouldn't have touched
any of the bloody switches.
308
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,080
{\an2}That's going to ruin it.
309
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,280
{\an2}That was like...
310
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,000
{\an2}Oh, what?
311
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,280
{\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell.
312
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,320
{\an2}Ah.
313
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,560
{\an2}Sam Campbell.
314
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,880
{\an1}WHISTLE
315
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,240
{\an2}That was really tough.
316
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,560
{\an1}WHISTLE
317
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,560
{\an1}I think that's pretty bloody good.
318
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,520
{\an1}APPLAUSE
319
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,680
{\an2}I think that being jiggled around
on a vibrating platform,
320
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,080
{\an2}it sort of suits you?
321
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,920
{\an2}Yes.
322
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,480
{\an2}Does that make sense?
323
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,880
{\an2}You're not the first person
to say that.
324
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,880
{\an2}How many did she stack?
Well, we saw, just two.
325
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,640
{\an2}But she did realise halfway through,
if she hadn't pressed any of
326
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,960
{\an2}the switches, the conditions
would've been perfect.
327
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,800
{\an2}And that's sort of key
to this, really.
328
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,920
{\an2}If they'd not flicked any
switches... Yeah, just chilled out.
329
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,600
{\an2}Sam actually did pretty well,
right?
Well, he created a method.
330
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,760
{\an2}He did all of his flicking in
a short period of time.
331
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,440
{\an2}He did well despite that, I'd say
332
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,040
{\an2}He created a method of balancing
the tees within a task,
333
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,360
{\an2}which was balancing on it.
And he also balanced a bowl
334
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,920
{\an2}on the bottom of the shelves.
I don't know if that counts.
335
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,000
{\an2}I thought that creation was legit.
Oh, OK. That's what I thought.
336
00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,400
{\an2}Well, then he got sort of 87,
I suppose.
337
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,320
{\an2}Wait, wait, wait, wait - really?
Wow. I know.
338
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,680
{\an2}Yeah, I guess I'll take 87, yeah.
339
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,120
{\an2}Right, join us after the break.
340
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,400
{\an2}If I were you, I'd leave that
guff-soaked sofa
341
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,480
{\an2}and get some fresh air for
a few minutes.
342
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,520
{\an2}Fart outside! Live a little!
343
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,200
{\an1}APPLAUSE
344
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,480
{\an2}Hello! Hello!
345
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,080
{\an2}I'm afraid to say you've woken me
from my power nap
346
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,360
{\an2}and I'm not a happy boy.
347
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,080
{\an2}Chill out, dude.
348
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,480
{\an2}Before the break, the cast were
presented with some switches,
349
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,040
{\an2}fully aware that how and when
and if they were switched
350
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,000
{\an2}would directly affect
the conditions of the next task.
351
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,840
{\an2}Here is everyone else.
352
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,160
{\an2}Your time starts...now.
353
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,400
{\an2}Ah, I'll start with
a little leaves.
354
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,840
{\an2}Immediately with the leaves.
355
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,840
{\an2}Oh, you see... Oh, it was leaves,
it was leaves! It was leaves.
356
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,880
{\an2}Do I need to...? Oh.
VIBRATION
357
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,800
{\an2}Ooh, I say.
358
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,640
{\an2}Fucking hell!
359
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,040
{\an2}Sorry, sorry, sorry.
360
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,080
{\an2}Leaves.
361
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,400
{\an2}Oh, for God's sake.
362
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,480
{\an2}WOMAN'S VOICE:
Sue Perkins. Sue Perkins.
363
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,040
{\an2}Oh, I don't want to listen to that.
364
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,280
{\an2}No, I don't want to listen to that.
That's the sound on.
365
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,720
{\an2}I don't like it.
Sue Perkins? Sue Perkins.
366
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,160
{\an2}Sue Perkins.
367
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,720
{\an2}I just farted on my...!
368
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,320
{\an2}There's more to come!
369
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:31,680
{\an2}Sue Perkins.
370
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,080
{\an2}Don't make me fart in the dark
listening to my own name!
371
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,520
{\an2}Sue Perkins?
372
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,920
{\an2}I don't like UV light very much.
373
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:46,400
{\an2}My mum thinks it was because I was
in an incubator to help me grow.
374
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,240
{\an2}VIBRATION
Oh!
375
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,080
{\an2}Sue Perkins. Yeah.
376
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,920
{\an2}Sue Perkins? Yeah?
377
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,640
{\an2}Sue Perkins. Yeah.
378
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,280
{\an1}WHISTLE
379
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,480
{\an2}WHISTLE
Oh.
380
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,920
{\an2}WHISTLE
And we're done.
381
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,320
{\an2}Can you stop me vibrating? Yeah.
382
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,760
{\an2}Oh. Thank you, Julian. Thank you.
383
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,280
{\an2}Goodbye, Sue.
That sounded very final.
384
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,680
{\an2}And after what I've done in this
room, I don't blame you.
385
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,840
{\an2}So sorry for everyone.
386
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,520
{\an1}SHE WAFTS THE
PLASTIC SHEETING
387
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,680
{\an1}APPLAUSE
388
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,440
{\an2}Did you enjoy that task, Julian?
I did quite.
389
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,080
{\an2}And it was very sensory, wasn't it?
390
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,040
{\an2}With all the lights and
the movement. Yeah.
391
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,800
{\an2}It was better than some
I've sat through anyway.
392
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,040
{\an2}There was a slight issue
with Julian's, which we didn't
393
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,880
{\an2}really show there, but the vibration
machine wouldn't turn off
394
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,200
{\an2}afterwards. Remember, you were on
there for another minute afterwards.
395
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,560
{\an2}Get your thrills where
you can at my age.
396
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,400
{\an2}Sue, you said, in my opinion,
397
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:47,120
{\an2}the greatest thing that's ever been
said on this show.
398
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,320
{\an2}"Please don't make me fart in
the dark listening to my own name."
399
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,240
{\an1}APPLAUSE
400
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,160
{\an2}Can I ask you about Sue's technique
of balancing? They're not balanced.
401
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,080
{\an2}You poked them through the shelf.
402
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:04,200
{\an2}I was really desperate at
that point. Yeah, I know, cos
the...
403
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,400
{\an2}Yeah, but is it more balanced
404
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,280
{\an2}than me just putting a bowl on
the table?
405
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,200
{\an2}Yeah, you did allow 87 from Sam.
Yeah.
406
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,880
{\an2}In a bowl plonked on
the bottom shelf.
407
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,360
{\an2}Oh! No, I wasn't allowing that.
I was allowing...
408
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,760
{\an2}Sorry, there's been some confusion.
Ah.
409
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:23,400
{\an2}I was allowing his system of
hanging
things. Ah. Sorry.
410
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:24,720
{\an2}Now I feel really bad.
411
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,880
{\an2}Yeah, you've really fucked Sam
over there.
412
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,800
{\an2}Yeah, you're pretty at good
sticking
things into other places. Yeah.
413
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,960
{\an2}Knives into backs. Balanced!
414
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,280
{\an2}It's balanced, man.
415
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,320
{\an2}So, we're saying that Sue didn't
balance any tees? I'm afraid we are,
416
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,920
{\an2}because they were quite clearly
pushed through the shelf.
417
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,800
{\an2}That is very harsh
but I accept it always.
418
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,240
{\an2}I should also tell you then that
Julian did manage
419
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,080
{\an2}to balance nine tees on his shelves.
420
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,760
{\an2}IMPRESSED WHISTLE
Lucy, 19.
421
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,560
{\an2}That's amazing. What we haven't
seen
yet is the Don't Switch.
422
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,400
{\an2}Danger did go with Don't. Shall we
see what the Danger Switch did?
423
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,560
{\an2}Yes, please.
OK. Good luck, everyone. Here we go.
424
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,560
{\an2}I've spent however long just trying
to avoid that button.
425
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,520
{\an2}That's all I've thought about from
the moment I've walked in.
426
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,920
{\an2}I mean, I've been brought up well.
427
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,320
{\an2}If something tells me not to touch
it, I'm not going to touch it.
428
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:18,680
{\an2}Right,
I'm going to start the task now.
429
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,760
{\an2}Hee-hee-hee!
430
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,680
{\an2}I can't say I wasn't warned.
431
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,000
{\an2}Still got 1:45.
432
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,640
{\an2}Oh...
433
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,000
{\an2}I'm going to go for this one.
434
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,360
{\an2}How much danger can I endure,
ten seconds' worth?
435
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,920
{\an2}Well, you have now ten seconds left.
436
00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,520
{\an2}Five seconds left, Lucy.
437
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,920
{\an2}Do you want me to press the button?
438
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,480
{\an2}WHISTLE
You can't now, unfortunately.
439
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,120
{\an2}Oh, shit, there's...
440
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,880
{\an1}WHISTLE
441
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,640
{\an2}Right, I'm going to go for this
one.
442
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,200
{\an2}Hee-hee-hee.
443
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,640
{\an2}Do you know what,
I was ten seconds away from
444
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,840
{\an2}avoiding my baser instincts.
And I failed.
445
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,880
{\an1}APPLAUSE
446
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,680
{\an2}Oh.
447
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,840
{\an2}I really like it when you're
disappointed in us.
448
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,560
{\an2}There's something wrong with me!
449
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,320
{\an2}Well, we weren't to know that was
going to happen, were we?
450
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,160
{\an2}It did say "don't". Yeah.
451
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,160
{\an2}Heart breaking, but good news
to old Lucy. Yes.
452
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,840
{\an2}Yeah, I think she only didn't press
it because she ran out of time.
453
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,240
{\an2}She wanted to.
No, I wasn't going to. No, no.
454
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,800
{\an2}Were you a well-behaved child?
I had to be.
455
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,680
{\an2}Oh, yeah, me too.
My mum was incredibly violent.
456
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,320
{\an2}Where does all that leave us?
Well, it means that no-one
457
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,400
{\an2}gets any points,
they were all disqualified,
458
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,680
{\an2}except for Lucy Beaumont,
who gets five points.
459
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,240
{\an1}APPLAUSE
460
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,200
{\an2}Let's have a look at
a scoreboard, can we?
461
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,720
{\an2}We can and, unsurprisingly,
462
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,440
{\an2}Lucy's in the lead with seven
points! Well done, Lucy.
463
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,600
{\an2}Let's have another one, please.
464
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,400
{\an2}Yes. In your face, Greg.
465
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,600
{\an1}QUIET THUD
466
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,280
{\an2}Sorry, I didn't mean to kick
the door, sorry.
467
00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,800
{\an2}What larks.
468
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,480
{\an2}Already, this is my favourite.
469
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,560
{\an2}Yeah, me too.
470
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,560
{\an2}I've always wanted to be a clown.
471
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,520
{\an2}Mixed emotions?
472
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,840
{\an2}Mainly joy.
473
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,960
{\an2}Oh, that's not edible.
474
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,440
{\an2}Now, fear.
475
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,120
{\an2}Any sign of that secret task yet?
476
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,480
{\an2}Not yet.
477
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,600
{\an2}"Pie Wayne in the face."
478
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,280
{\an2}Will I know who Wayne is?
479
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,240
{\an2}Do you know any Waynes?
480
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,840
{\an2}Rooney.
481
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,240
{\an2}Not him.
482
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,160
{\an2}"Wayne is outside the front door."
483
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:49,080
{\an2}"You may not touch Wayne nor
step on the red green."
484
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,200
{\an2}The red green?
485
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:52,960
{\an2}Now, what the hell is that?
486
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,880
{\an2}Well, you know a green? Yeah.
487
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,240
{\an2}A red one of them.
488
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,560
{\an2}"If you miss Wayne with
the pie, you must copy
489
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,880
{\an2}"Wayne's dance moves
for ten seconds."
490
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,680
{\an2}"You must not touch Wayne."
491
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,120
{\an2}"Fastest wins."
492
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,640
{\an2}"Your time starts when you open
the front door."
493
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,760
{\an2}Who is Wayne? Do you know him?
494
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,120
{\an2}I don't know him well.
495
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,840
{\an2}You can't touch any part of Wayne,
I need to make that clear.
496
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,080
{\an2}I understand boundaries.
497
00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,200
{\an2}OK.
498
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,960
{\an2}Are these top-ups? Yeah. OK.
499
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,560
{\an2}Not a lot of faith in me,
then, is there?
500
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,560
{\an2}So, do I take more than one pie?
501
00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,480
{\an2}I'm not likely to miss him, am I?
502
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,080
{\an2}I'll start the clock as soon you
open the door.
503
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,120
{\an2}Oh, I see.
504
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,400
{\an2}Hiya, Wayne!
505
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,320
{\an2}That's Wayne?
506
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:51,600
{\an2}Oh, yeah, there he is.
507
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,240
{\an2}In the face? In the face.
508
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,520
{\an2}All right.
509
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,400
{\an2}That's brilliant.
510
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,240
{\an1}APPLAUSE
511
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,800
{\an2}I loved it.
I was shit at it but I loved it.
512
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,080
{\an2}Do you think sometimes you've lost
some of the innocent joy
513
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,480
{\an2}of childhood, Julian?
514
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,360
{\an2}Because everybody else saw Wayne
and went, "Oh!",
515
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,720
{\an2}started laughing and you went,
"Oh, I see." No.
516
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,120
{\an2}I was like that as a child,
I'm afraid.
517
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,120
{\an2}Nothing's changed.
518
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,200
{\an2}So, basically, they're going to be
pieing one of those wavy-arm men
519
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,960
{\an2}from outside garages in the face.
520
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,560
{\an2}Not a great incentive
to come back, is it, Alex?
521
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,760
{\an2}No, but I could sing my
favourite hymn.
522
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,080
{\an2}Yes?
523
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:46,560
{\an2}Yeah, all right, that'll do.
524
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,720
{\an2}# Be thou my vision
525
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,480
{\an2}# O, Lord of my heart
526
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,360
{\an2}# Nought be all else to me
527
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,640
{\an2}# Save that thou art... #
528
00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,880
{\an1}APPLAUSE
529
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,480
{\an2}Welcome back to Taskmaster.
530
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,200
{\an2}It's part three and I want to see
wavy man Wayne get pied in the
face.
531
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,560
{\an2}Oh, I do too Greg.
532
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,840
{\an2}Remember, as is common practice on
Taskmaster,
533
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,440
{\an2}they can't stand on the red green.
534
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,520
{\an2}So, let's begin
with Susie and Susannah.
535
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,600
{\an2}So, Wayne's going to be operated by
a switch.
536
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,480
{\an2}I've got to try and find the
switch.
537
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,520
{\an2}That's part of him,
that's his umbilical cord.
538
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:38,640
{\an2}Oh, so I can't...?
539
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,200
{\an2}Oi.
540
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,960
{\an2}That's not his face.
541
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,040
{\an2}You must dance. Ugh!
542
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,600
{\an2}Ugh. Is that ten seconds?
543
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,120
{\an2}That's ten seconds.
544
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,800
{\an2}Be careful.
545
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,120
{\an2}Lovely. Thank you, Sue.
546
00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,520
{\an2}OK.
547
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,320
{\an2}I mean...
548
00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:21,360
{\an2}Ah!
549
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,480
{\an2}Sue?
550
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,280
{\an2}Thank you, Sue.
551
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,360
{\an2}Wayne's my favourite.
552
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:36,960
{\an2}Come on, you little shit!
553
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:42,800
{\an2}Sue.
554
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,000
{\an2}Oh, Christ.
555
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,400
{\an2}Can't see anything now.
556
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,120
{\an2}Basically did this at Rada. OK.
557
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,480
{\an2}Yeah, that's ten seconds.
558
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,920
{\an2}Why did you have
to pick this one after lunch?!
559
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,160
{\an2}Come on.
560
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:11,680
{\an2}Oh, shit.
561
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,640
{\an2}I've stopped the clock.
Did I get it? Yeah.
562
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,680
{\an1}CHEERING
563
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:24,400
{\an2}Where is his umbilicus?
564
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,560
{\an2}The naughty flamingo's
going to touch him.
565
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:36,880
{\an2}Naughty flamingo.
566
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:43,920
{\an2}Little fucker.
567
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,160
{\an2}Don't touch him.
568
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,160
{\an2}Come on, naughty flamingo.
569
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,040
{\an2}You've on more task to fulfil.
570
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,360
{\an2}Pin him!
571
00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,400
{\an2}Take it.
572
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:00,880
{\an2}I've stopped the clock, Sue.
573
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,680
{\an1}APPLAUSE
574
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,240
{\an2}It felt like it was a bit
of a grudge for you, in the end.
575
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,440
{\an2}Yeah, I mean...
576
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,240
{\an2}"Take it, you little fucker."?
577
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,480
{\an2}Yeah. There's only
so much expressive dance I can do
578
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,800
{\an2}and I don't have the training.
Susan's got training.
579
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,760
{\an2}She's got, you know,
the depth of experience,
580
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,160
{\an2}she understands the biomechanics of
the human form and art in general.
581
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,640
{\an2}I was just very, very frustrated
and then blind
582
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,280
{\an2}and then the naughty flamingo
spared my blushes.
583
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,360
{\an2}I like to see that sort
of lateral thinking.
584
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,760
{\an2}The naughty flamingo
was allowed to touch Wayne.
585
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:36,200
{\an2}Yes, yes, the flamingo could
touch Wayne. Yeah. And did. And did.
586
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,840
{\an2}Now, Susan's told us repeatedly that
she trained for three years at Rada.
587
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,240
{\an2}I put it to you, Susan,
you weren't even attempting
588
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,600
{\an2}to pie Wayne for most of it,
589
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,400
{\an2}you were just enjoying
the interpretive dance.
590
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,280
{\an2}Yeah, yeah. I just was so...
As you say, when I saw him,
591
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,440
{\an2}it was so glorious and I sort of
forgot the point of it.
592
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,080
{\an2}Yeah. But I had a good time.
But the final pieing was...
593
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,240
{\an2}Well, it caught us by surprise. It
caught me by surprise. Bloody hell.
594
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,360
{\an2}Yeah. Three awful throws got
nowhere near.
595
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,520
{\an2}The fourth, right in the face.
Only took her 1:39.
596
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,440
{\an1}CHEERING
597
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,280
{\an2}And what about old
grudge match over there?
598
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,120
{\an2}Naughty flamingo lady? Yeah.
599
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,680
{\an2}7:25. Wow.
600
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,080
{\an2}Little bit longer. Who's next?
601
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,120
{\an2}OK, we've seen the Sues, now for
Julian, Sam, Lucy and Wayne again.
602
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:26,920
{\an2}Julian?
603
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:27,960
{\an2}That's not his face.
604
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,160
{\an2}Now you have dance on
the dancing mat.
605
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:38,920
{\an2}That's lovely, Julian.
606
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,640
{\an2}Are you OK?
607
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,600
{\an2}Oh, what are you looking for?
608
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,080
{\an2}LUCY: Something to get Wayne down.
609
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,960
{\an2}Was that on his face?
No, afraid not.
610
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,120
{\an2}That's lovely, Julian.
611
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,680
{\an2}I'll go and get another pie. OK.
612
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,280
{\an2}I brought this from home.
613
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:14,680
{\an2}Can I try and lasso him?
614
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,920
{\an2}Now you have to dance, Julian.
615
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,560
{\an2}My enthusiasm for the dancing
has waned, as it were.
616
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:30,600
{\an2}It has waned.
617
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,160
{\an2}Pretty close.
618
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,040
{\an2}Can you hold the other end of that
to trap him?
619
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:05,520
{\an2}To trap...? I'll do what I'm told.
620
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,160
{\an2}No, no, no, stop!
621
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,200
{\an2}This way.
622
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,320
{\an2}I've got him! Surely?!
623
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,840
{\an2}Surely, surely I got him?
624
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,440
{\an2}I got him! I got him!
625
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:20,720
{\an2}I got him big time!
626
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:21,760
{\an2}Yeah, yeah.
627
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,360
{\an1}APPLAUSE
628
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,000
{\an2}Well, that's not my problem, is it?
629
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,240
{\an2}There you are.
I've stopped the clock.
630
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,400
{\an2}Thank you.
631
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
632
00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,480
{\an2}Wayne! Don't touch me, Wayne!
633
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,200
{\an2}Wayne!
634
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,360
{\an2}I've stopped the clock.
635
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,800
{\an2}Wow.
636
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,480
{\an2}Got him, I got Wayne.
637
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,440
{\an1}APPLAUSE
638
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,040
{\an2}Julian, your pie technique
was dreadful.
639
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,080
{\an2}But I thought you
were a very graceful dancer.
640
00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,560
{\an2}Oh, thank you. You're welcome.
641
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,040
{\an2}Anything else to say? No.
642
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:22,400
{\an2}I thought the most dramatic thing we
were going to see in those attempts
643
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,280
{\an2}was Sam shouting,
"I got him big time."
644
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,760
{\an2}He had it too good for too long.
645
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,960
{\an2}What turned out to be the most
dramatic thing was Julian Clary
646
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,520
{\an2}taking Wayne down with a swing
ball.
Yeah.
647
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,440
{\an2}That was the most dramatic thing.
648
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,480
{\an2}Lucy, did you think the task was
touch Wayne as much as you can?
649
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,960
{\an2}The swing ball touched him.
As well, yeah.
650
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,120
{\an2}You touched him big time. But how?
651
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,960
{\an2}With your hands.
652
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,200
{\an2}He touched me.
653
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,720
{\an2}You did touch Wayne and, even if you
didn't, there was one other rule
654
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,760
{\an2}which you may have broken as well.
What? You weren't allowed to touch
655
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,200
{\an2}the red green. Of course, we always
know that. This is what happened.
656
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,640
{\an2}Well over. Oh, no.
657
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,760
{\an2}But why are you zooming in on
people's feet, you sicko?
658
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,240
{\an2}That's fetish, that is.
659
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,320
{\an2}I mean, I am going
to disqualify them
660
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,840
{\an2}but I also agree with them,
you are sick.
661
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,760
{\an2}The three of them,
very similar times.
662
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,880
{\an2}Lucy, actually, 3:25. Right.
As relevant as that is. Yeah.
663
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,680
{\an2}Julian, 3:32, Sam, 3:40.
664
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:40,040
{\an2}So, what that means is that Sue and
Lucy don't get any points.
665
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,640
{\an2}Oh, fuck you.
666
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,040
{\an2}Do you know what?
He's smiling but he's hurting.
667
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,120
{\an2}The reason you can't see
he's hurting...
668
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,880
{\an2}He does. You do look like you
have had.... He does!
669
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,880
{\an2}You look as smooth as fibreglass.
670
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:08,120
{\an2}You do, he's right.
You look like a canoe. Right.
671
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:09,920
{\an2}So, Sam, you get three points,
672
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,120
{\an2}Julian, four,
673
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,160
{\an2}but five points goes to
Susan Wokoma!
674
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,360
{\an1}CHEERING
675
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,960
{\an2}OK. And now time
for some product placement.
676
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,960
{\an2}There's a bee out there.
677
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,640
{\an2}Is there? Yeah. OK.
678
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,760
{\an2}Sorry, I shouldn't have come in too
big, should I?
679
00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:44,920
{\an2}Perkins.
680
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,440
{\an2}Horne.
681
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,120
{\an2}Oh, God.
682
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,320
{\an2}Oh, look, it's me.
You both look great.
683
00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:06,440
{\an2}She's pretty.
684
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:09,680
{\an2}LAUGHING: Look at my hands.
685
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,600
{\an2}Oh, it's me with my eyes shut.
686
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,960
{\an2}Oh, I do all my pictures like this.
687
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,200
{\an2}I never told you, did I?
688
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,200
{\an2}Thank you.
689
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,720
{\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within...
690
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,880
{\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within
the..."
691
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,760
{\an2}Oh, she's putting me off.
692
00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:33,800
{\an2}"Put yourself..."
693
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:41,000
{\an2}If that started walking away,
I'd be so freaked out.
694
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:45,000
{\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within
the boundary."
695
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,160
{\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within
the boundary."
696
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,840
{\an2}That's what my therapist says.
697
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,440
{\an2}"The person furthest from
everyone else wins."
698
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,600
{\an2}"The people closest together
both lose two points."
699
00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:00,720
{\an2}"Also, throughout the task you must
behave really weirdly."
700
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,400
{\an2}"You must behave really weirdly."
701
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:04,640
{\an2}Ugh.
702
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:05,720
{\an2}"Really weirdly."
703
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,240
{\an2}"Weirdly." "Weirdly."
704
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,960
{\an2}Don't have to tell me twice.
705
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,080
{\an2}"You've got a maximum of
ten minutes.
706
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,000
{\an2}"Your time starts...now."
707
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:19,680
{\an2}So, you've just got to think, where
would Sue Perkins put Sue Perkins?
708
00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:23,640
{\an2}Well, there's no way of knowing,
is there? No. No, there isn't.
709
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,600
{\an1}APPLAUSE
710
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,080
{\an2}I think that some tasks
are unfairly stacked in
711
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,040
{\an2}the favour of some contestants. I
mean, I don't want to pick on people
712
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,480
{\an2}but I have written down that,
throughout this, sometimes,
713
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,640
{\an2}Lucy and Sam have come across as -
714
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,360
{\an2}well, I've written
"absolutely deranged".
715
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:45,360
{\an1}CHEERING
716
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,200
{\an2}That's another part complete.
717
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:52,760
{\an2}If you want to see someone forced
to take home Susan's prizes for
718
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,360
{\an2}a second time, then, by all means,
719
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,360
{\an2}please join us
again for part four. Bye.
720
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:12,000
{\an2}Hello! Welcome back to
the final part of the show.
721
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,000
{\an2}Yes, and welcome to those who aren't
watching Taskmaster too,
722
00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,280
{\an2}that's absolutely fine.
723
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,080
{\an2}It's about time we found out where
the five competitors placed the
724
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,440
{\an2}cut-outs of themselves. The person
furthest from everyone else wins,
725
00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,720
{\an2}but the two people closest together
each lose two points.
726
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,760
{\an2}Ye-ouch! Here's what they did.
727
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,520
{\an2}Behave weirdly.
Shall I behave like you?
728
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,680
{\an2}Yes, please.
729
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:34,960
{\an2}Ah.
730
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,920
{\an2}"There's nothing I can do
to help you."
731
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,960
{\an1}SUE GROWLS LIKE CHEWBACCA
732
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,760
{\an1}SHE YODELS
733
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,200
{\an2}I don't think anyone would be as
obvious as...
734
00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:05,520
{\an2}I don't think anyone would be
obvious as this.
735
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:16,920
{\an2}There's an argument
for just popping myself just there.
736
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,280
{\an1}LUCY YODELS
737
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,480
{\an2}Where do you think Sue Perkins is
going to put herself?
738
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:28,560
{\an2}Um, there.
739
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,360
{\an2}Sam Campbell?
740
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,800
{\an2}Um, there.
741
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,280
{\an2}Susan Wokoma?
742
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,000
{\an2}Um, there.
743
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,880
{\an2}And Julian Clary?
744
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,120
{\an2}Just there.
745
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:39,280
{\an2}That's quite near your one.
746
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,360
{\an2}Yeah, I know.
747
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,640
{\an2}Why have you put it so close
to Julian Clary?
748
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,640
{\an2}I didn't know at
the time that he put it there.
749
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,520
{\an2}Can I move it again? Well,
you've still got eight minutes.
750
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:50,560
{\an2}OK.
751
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,760
{\an1}SHE YODELS
752
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,480
{\an2}So, say I tear his head off...?
753
00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:06,560
{\an2}Is that me, then?
Like, what makes you you?
754
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,520
{\an2}Is it where your head is or
your heart or your...?
755
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:10,680
{\an2}It'll be a discussion.
756
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,720
{\an2}But to be honest, for some people,
this isn't weird, this is exercise.
757
00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,560
{\an2}But to me, that's about
as weird as it gets.
758
00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,320
{\an2}I'm off fishing now.
759
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,000
{\an2}So, is it me that likes fishing in
this scenario?
760
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,480
{\an2}Don't you like fishing?
I don't think so. Or bird watching?
761
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,480
{\an2}Yes, please. I knew it was something
boring. Right.
762
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,640
{\an2}I'm off to find a robin.
763
00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,280
{\an2}Where do you think Julian Clary's
going to put himself?
764
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,200
{\an2}Probably, like, back there
or something.
765
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:46,280
{\an2}Sam Campbell? They're going to be
doing this. Going, "Whoo."
766
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:49,640
{\an2}Ugh.
767
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,360
{\an1}SHE YODELS
768
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,080
{\an2}I think it's now not near anybody.
769
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,840
{\an2}Ugh.
770
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,280
{\an2}Could do that?
771
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,240
{\an2}But will that be far enough away?
772
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,120
{\an2}OK.
773
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,200
{\an2}Something about
the boundary line. Right.
774
00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:13,000
{\an2}On the horns, by the boundary line.
775
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,080
{\an2}Do you have a coin on you?
I'm going to coin toss it.
776
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,120
{\an2}Thanks, Sam.
777
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,960
{\an2}Heads for that deer's head.
778
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,040
{\an2}Tails for on the boundary line.
779
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,280
{\an1}APPLAUSE
780
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,120
{\an2}Julian displays a continual -
781
00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:37,800
{\an2}and, to me, delightful -
contempt for Alex.
782
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,840
{\an2}And this is the zenith, I think.
783
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,360
{\an2}Doing a insulting impression of
him... Can I see it again? Yes.
784
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,200
{\an2}"There's nothing I can do
to help you."
785
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:49,960
{\an2}Is that enough? Yeah.
786
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,360
{\an2}That was before his surgery.
787
00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,000
{\an1}APPLAUSE
788
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,000
{\an2}It was a really
creditable impression.
789
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,680
{\an2}Thank you. It just came over me.
790
00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,520
{\an2}He is irritating, isn't he?
791
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,760
{\an2}What we need to know is what
the coin decided for Sue, of
course.
792
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,120
{\an2}Yeah.
Before we do, I'll appraise you for
793
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,960
{\an2}a very creditable
Chewbacca impression.
794
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,520
{\an1}SHE GROWLS
795
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:14,440
{\an2}OK, so we're going to find out
796
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,440
{\an2}if Sue is near the tossed head on
the deer.
797
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,880
{\an2}This is it,
this is the cliff hanger. Yeah.
798
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,120
{\an2}It's all about the toss.
Here we go.
799
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,200
{\an2}Heads for that deer's head.
800
00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:24,800
{\an2}Tails for on the boundary line.
801
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:31,840
{\an2}Thank you, Sue. Thank you.
802
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,320
{\an2}8cm. 8cm away.
803
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:51,640
{\an2}That felt...
804
00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,000
{\an2}I mean, I knew what had happened
805
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,960
{\an2}and even I was swept along by
the narrative.
806
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,280
{\an2}The coin was so cruel.
807
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,040
{\an2}Unfortunately, the people closest
to each other lost two points.
808
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,360
{\an2}Listen, I'm just grateful...
809
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,960
{\an2}I don't think I was disqualified in
that round. You weren't.
810
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,400
{\an2}But you don't get any points.
811
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,640
{\an2}Because the distances from one
another, as we can see here,
812
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,600
{\an8}Sam was 14.24m away from everyone.
813
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,160
{\an8}Lucy second, 13,
814
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,960
{\an8}Julia third, Sue fourth,
815
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,520
{\an8}Susan fifth.
816
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,040
{\an2}But Julian and Susan both lose two
points, so it ends up being
817
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,000
{\an2}one point to Susan, none to Sue,
one to Julian,
818
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,160
{\an2}four to Lucy and
five points to Sam Campbell!
819
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,920
{\an1}APPLAUSE
820
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,760
{\an2}I think that's a
very satisfactory outcome.
821
00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,240
{\an2}And it's progress, Sue, in a way,
822
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,480
{\an2}because you've been disqualified
for two. Yeah.
823
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,680
{\an2}But at least you've got no points
this time.
824
00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:37,120
{\an2}Let's have a glance at the scores.
825
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,480
{\an2}It's tight, except for Sue.
826
00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,840
{\an2}Lucy, you're still in the lead
with 11 points.
827
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,760
{\an1}APPLAUSE
828
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,960
{\an2}OK, everyone, please make your way
to the stage
829
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,520
{\an2}for the final task of the show!
830
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,480
{\an1}CHEERING
831
00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,440
{\an2}Who will be reading the task?
832
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,160
{\an2}Sue Perkins.
833
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,000
{\an2}"Catch three balls on your head.
834
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:07,240
{\an2}"After you've caught a ball,
you must shout 'ball'.
835
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:11,080
{\an2}"You may not step off your circles,
move your circles,
836
00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:15,440
{\an2}"adjust your arms or touch
the balls with your hands.
837
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:16,800
{\an2}"The fastest wins."
838
00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,160
{\an2}Can we cooperate?
839
00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,520
{\an2}I guess we'll find out.
840
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:23,720
{\an2}Good luck.
841
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,440
{\an2}On your marks, get set.
WHISTLE
842
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,360
{\an2}And they're off.
843
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,720
{\an2}LUCY: Ball!
SAM: Ball!
844
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:34,640
{\an2}JULIAN: Ball.
845
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,000
{\an2}SAM: Ball.
JULIAN: You've got another one.
846
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,320
{\an2}SAM: It is in there for a bit,
does that count? Ball!
847
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,840
{\an2}LUCY: Ball.
Oh, that's...!
848
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,480
{\an2}Oh, we have a winner over here,
Julian Clary!
849
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,960
{\an1}CHEERING
850
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,280
{\an2}And Sam's out.
Sam, are you finished?
851
00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,320
{\an2}Ball.
852
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,480
{\an2}Ball.
853
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,640
{\an2}Susan, you're done,
you're finished. Oh, have I?
854
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:08,840
{\an2}It's just you, Sue.
855
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,440
{\an2}Oh!
856
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,440
{\an2}I was never very good at sport.
857
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,760
{\an2}SAUSAN: Hang on.
There's coming... Hang on.
858
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,120
{\an2}There's one coming, incoming.
859
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,440
{\an2}This is a pitiful...!
860
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,640
{\an2}Say ball. Ball.
Say ball again. Ball.
861
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,440
{\an2}And then say it one more time.
862
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,880
{\an2}Ball.
WHISTLE
863
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:32,160
{\an2}Come down we'll add that to
the final scores, come and join me.
864
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:37,840
{\an2}That was exciting. Mmm.
865
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:41,160
{\an2}Not for the first time the group
confounded us by working together.
866
00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,080
{\an2}They did. One to Sue, two to Susan,
three to Lucy,
867
00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:47,320
{\an2}four to Sam,
five to Julian Clary. Well done.
868
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,800
{\an1}APPLAUSE
869
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,680
{\an2}So, that's affected things in
many ways.
870
00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:54,160
{\an2}We have three people in the 90s now,
in terms of the series.
871
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,560
{\an2}Susan, you are in last place, on 92.
Yes, lovely.
872
00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:00,200
{\an2}Sue, 95, Lucy, 99,
then jump up to Julian, on 108,
873
00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:02,120
{\an2}Sam's in the lead on 120.
874
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:03,600
{\an1}APPLAUSE
875
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,160
{\an2}Incredible. Yes.
876
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,920
{\an2}What's the final scoreboard
for today? Well, it's a tight one.
877
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,120
{\an2}Sue, stranded on six.
878
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,560
{\an2}The rest, it goes 12, 13, 14, 14 -
879
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,560
{\an2}Lucy and Sam, joint winners.
880
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:17,840
{\an2}Yay! No!
881
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:19,640
{\an1}CHEERING
882
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,280
{\an2}So, we have a tie-break situation.
883
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,160
{\an2}Yes, tie-breaks are very serious
matters and we're going to settle
884
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,160
{\an2}this one right here on
the studio floor.
885
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:27,800
{\an2}AUDIENCE: Oooh!
886
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,360
{\an2}In my drawer,
I have two party poppers.
887
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,640
{\an2}Oh, I don't like them.
888
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,200
{\an2}Sam and Lucy will fire their party
poppers from their seated positions
889
00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:38,760
{\an2}And the person who fires the
contents of their party popper
890
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,560
{\an2}furthest wins, simple as that.
We're all out of budget.
891
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,080
{\an2}Lucy, are you ready?
892
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,800
{\an2}Three, two, one...pop.
893
00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:49,200
{\an2}Bastard.
894
00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:51,480
{\an2}Sam, I believe this is yours for
the taking.
895
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,600
{\an2}Wow.
896
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,040
{\an2}You're going to have
to measure this.
897
00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:00,640
{\an2}I'll hold it. Thank you, Sue.
898
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,760
{\an2}Furthest bit.
899
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:05,800
{\an2}108cm.
900
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:08,800
{\an2}123cm!
901
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:10,600
{\an1}CHEERING
902
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,880
{\an2}Lucy Beaumont wins!
903
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,000
{\an2}Please go and gather your gifts
and groan.
904
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,440
{\an2}Not that.
905
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,600
{\an2}So, what have we learned today?
906
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,800
{\an2}We've learned that, in a thousand
years, when the people of the future
907
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:32,920
{\an2}look back and somehow try to
understand how our society worked -
908
00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,600
{\an2}what were we all about? -
909
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,800
{\an2}there is one thing along that they
will be sure of -
910
00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,080
{\an2}show them a picture of Sue Perkins
and they'll all go,
911
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:42,680
{\an2}oh, yeah, that's the lady who
didn't like farting in the dark
912
00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:45,120
{\an2}to the sound of her own name.
913
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,480
{\an2}Only three episodes to go,
914
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,480
{\an2}so let's appreciate tonight's
winner
once more.
915
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,160
{\an2}It's Lucy Beaumont!
916
00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:52,920
{\an1}CHEERING
917
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,440
{\an3}Subtitles by
Red Bee Media