1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,840 {\an2}This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,400 {\an2}SHE CAWS Ah.Good evening. 3 00:00:08,120 --> 00:00:09,160 {\an2}Ah! 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,640 {\an2}Argh! 5 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:12,720 {\an2}Oh! 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:13,840 {\an2}Bla-la-la-la-la. 7 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,240 {\an2}I trained at RADA. 8 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,600 {\an2}What have I created? 9 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:19,080 {\an2}Sorry. 10 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,320 {\an2}How we laughed. 11 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,720 {\an2}Ah! 12 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,480 {\an2}Huh? 13 00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:28,320 {\an1}APPLAUSE 14 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,160 {\an2}Hello! 15 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,200 {\an2}Thank you. Welcome to Taskmaster. 16 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:39,280 {\an2}I'm Greg Davies. 17 00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,360 {\an2}And I have a smorgsabord of tasks for you 18 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,080 {\an2}from a wondrous gang of loons. 19 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,440 {\an2}And if that's not enough, I've also got a second camera 20 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:47,240 {\an2}trained on me at all times. 21 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,920 {\an2}Felt cute. Might delete later. 22 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 23 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,880 {\an2}We are tit deep in the competition so let's crack on. 24 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,640 {\an2}Please welcome Julian Clary, 25 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,560 {\an2}Lucy Beaumont, 26 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,640 {\an2}Sam Campbell, 27 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,800 {\an2}Sue Perkins 28 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,360 {\an2}and Susan Wokoma. 29 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,560 {\an2}And next to me a man who told me that if he sees 30 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,280 {\an2}the pilot of any plane he boards is a woman, he immediately leaves. 31 00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:18,520 {\an2}Because he believes and I quote that "Their concentration spans 32 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,320 {\an2}"and motor skills are not suited to the job." 33 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,640 {\an2}It's little Alex Horne. 34 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,720 {\an2}Hi, there, thank you for my introduction. You're welcome. 35 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:32,360 {\an2}Well, I do worry about these bits, Greg, 36 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,960 {\an2}I worry that sometimes they create an atmosphere that isn't, 37 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,640 {\an2}er, entirely pleasant or useful for the show. They do. 38 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,840 {\an2}I'm worried that I've created a rod for my own back. 39 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,280 {\an2}Oh. Would you like to see it? 40 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:42,320 {\an2}Yeah. 41 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,600 {\an2}I...I've created a rod for my own... I've got a rod, 42 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,360 {\an2}I've created a rod for my own back and then I talked about this... 43 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,920 {\an2}The rod for my... In the set up in the bit and... 44 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,560 {\an2}So what's the punchline? Something about a hook? 45 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,360 {\an2}Yeah. I was...I was going to... Oh, oh, I think I've got a bite. 46 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,200 {\an2}Or oh... Oh, no, no, no. I think I've got a bite's fine. 47 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,240 {\an2}Yeah? 48 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,400 {\an2}Have you had Botox? 49 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,360 {\an2}Well, first...first... 50 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,680 {\an2}It's a straight yes or no. 51 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:11,480 {\an2}It's definite no. But why would you ask? 52 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,320 {\an2}Cos I just... In...in the light I can see how smooth it all is. 53 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,480 {\an2}I'm younger than you. And it never used to be smooth. 54 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,600 {\an2}I'm a lot, like, two decades younger. I know you're younger than me. 55 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,480 {\an2}Have you had some fillers or something? 56 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,040 {\an2}No. I...I... 57 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,280 {\an2}On we go with the prize task. 58 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,960 {\an2}Well, Greg, they've been asked to bring in 59 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,560 {\an2}the thing that is most guaranteed to make you groan. 60 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,200 {\an2}Oh. AUDIENCE: Ooh. 61 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,400 {\an2}Oh, dear. I know. 62 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,520 {\an2}The potential for some awful things is high. 63 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,040 {\an2}The thing most guaranteed to make you groan in Greg's opinion 64 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:44,480 {\an2}gets the big five and the winner's going to groan their way home 65 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,840 {\an2}with five groan-worthy things. Oh. 66 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,640 {\an2}Oh, God. 67 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,440 {\an2}I mean, the chances of these not being sexual 68 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,600 {\an2}based on what I've seen from these people so far are zero. 69 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:58,400 {\an2}I'll be less surprised than I was when I found out 70 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,840 {\an2}Alex had had cosmetic surgery. 71 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:03,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 72 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,040 {\an2}Hi, Sam, what thing have you brought in that makes you groan? 73 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,760 {\an2}Oh, this thing is disgusting. 74 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:08,960 {\an2}Let's have a look at it. 75 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,080 {\an2}It's a toothbrush. 76 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,840 {\an2}Oh! Oh! 77 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,000 {\an2}That's against God. Oh! 78 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,720 {\an2}There's a lot going on there, isn't there? 79 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,520 {\an2}I mean I can barely look at this thing. 80 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,640 {\an2}It's just... Don't you find that just really grotty? 81 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,720 {\an2}I think I'm groaning because I'm so bemused by you. 82 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,200 {\an2}Thanks, Sam. Next? 83 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,280 {\an2}All right, Lucy. 84 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:30,920 {\an2}It's a serious thing. OK. 85 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:34,840 {\an2}Um, it's a lesson in the importance of cartilage. 86 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,800 {\an2}It's taken the form of this skeleton. 87 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:45,640 {\an2}So it's pointing obviously to the areas that have cartilage. 88 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,200 {\an2}Why is this supposed to make me groan? 89 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,120 {\an2}If you don't have cartilage. Yeah. 90 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,440 {\an2}You...you'll groan... You'll groan. ..when you, uh, bend and lift. 91 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,640 {\an2}I'm giving a gift to whoever wins to say look after that. 92 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,000 {\an2}Look after your cartilage. 93 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,040 {\an2}And how do we look after our cartilage? 94 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,360 {\an2}I don't know. 95 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,400 {\an2}I mean both of them have made me groan. Hmm. 96 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,960 {\an2}So I suppose, yeah. Successful so far. OK. 97 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,560 {\an2}Uh, hello, Julian. Hello. 98 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,200 {\an2}Um, what have you brought in that might make one groan? 99 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,200 {\an2}Oh, it's so awful this, 100 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:21,480 {\an2}every year for my birthday my husband goes into a shop 101 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:26,160 {\an2}and asks them for the most hideous thing they've got on sale. Right. 102 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,920 {\an2}And this I what he got me a couple of years ago and I... 103 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,680 {\an2}every time I look at it I groan. 104 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:35,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 105 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:36,760 {\an2}It's so awful. 106 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,400 {\an2}Someone said it looks like Alex without his beard. 107 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,720 {\an2}I dunno, he's got a normal-width neck. 108 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,680 {\an2}But it does make me groan every time I see it which is quite often. 109 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,360 {\an2}But you can't bring yourself to throw it away because you're...? 110 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,840 {\an2}This is the golden opportunity to pass it on. 111 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,720 {\an2}Good. Hello, Sue. Hello. 112 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,480 {\an2}What have you brought in that might make a man or a woman groan? 113 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,840 {\an2}I thought what would be the best way to make everyone groan 114 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,520 {\an2}and I thought, well, maybe if I asked an authority figure 115 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:07,680 {\an2}and so I asked the king of the bird men and he said yes. 116 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:12,320 {\an2}I've got a voice that could stun a goat from over a mile away. 117 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:16,680 {\an2}And when I ask for a loud noise it gets done. 118 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:21,920 {\an2}Just ask the wing bird man, Brian Blessed you groan, 119 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,080 {\an2}like your life depends on it. 120 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:30,360 {\an2}Come on, come on. Groan. You feckless bastards. 121 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,120 {\an2}Come on! Groan. 122 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,200 {\an2}The full recording's on this memory stick. 123 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,440 {\an2}You've really outdone yourself there, Perkins. 124 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,200 {\an2}That's amazing. That is stupendous. 125 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,760 {\an2}Susan. Oh. 126 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,360 {\an2}Traditionally this is not your strongest round. No. 127 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,680 {\an2}And you're following a recording of Brian Blessed. 128 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:47,760 {\an2}I... 129 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,040 {\an2}Good luck. 130 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,280 {\an2}As Greg so kindly said I, uh, have been performing 131 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,560 {\an2}quite poorly when it comes to the prizes. 132 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,320 {\an2}And here are a few of the shit prizes. 133 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,520 {\an2}That's actually very good. 134 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,800 {\an2}One big present to make you groan. 135 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,720 {\an2}So have you collected these from the previous winners of the show? 136 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:09,040 {\an2}Yes, I have. 137 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:12,640 {\an2}They're all so shit that all these guys actually gave them back to me. 138 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,760 {\an2}That's very good. Right, I'm going to give out some quick points. 139 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,120 {\an2}All right then, who is the least likely to make you groan? 140 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,080 {\an2}Well, I'm not going to give anyone 1 point cos I liked all of them. 141 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,120 {\an2}So, that's good, isn't it? I'm going to give Sam and Lucy two points, 142 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,760 {\an2}and I'll tell you why, it's because it was her explanation 143 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,600 {\an2}that made me groan, not the item. Right, two points each. Well done. 144 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,640 {\an2}Yeah, that's good, isn't it? Well done. Sorry. 145 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:33,800 {\an2}I'm going to give... 146 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 147 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,880 {\an2}I'm going to give Julian 3 points, ask me why. 148 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,680 {\an2}Why are you going to give Julian 3 points? 149 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,680 {\an2}Because that thing's awful, it does make me groan 150 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,040 {\an2}but the sentiment behind it is rather lovely I think. Oh. 151 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:47,720 {\an2}And, so I'm sort of not giving him too many points 152 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,520 {\an2}to celebrate his wonderful marriage. Oh. 153 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,200 {\an2}There's a logic there somewhere. OK. 154 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,040 {\an2}I'm going to give Susan, because my God she's had 155 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,760 {\an2}a nightmare in this series, I'm going to give her 4 points 156 00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,160 {\an2}for her very clever idea of getting her shit prizes back 157 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,760 {\an2}and putting them all together. 158 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,480 {\an2}And, of course, Brian Blessed will get the 5 points. 159 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,480 {\an2}There we go, 5 points to Sue Perkins. Yeah! 160 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,080 {\an1}APPLAUSE 161 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,400 {\an2}Right, let's stop talking about cosmetic surgery 162 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,520 {\an2}and let the tasking commence. 163 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,400 {\an2}But be warned it's a minefield out there, Greg. 164 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:29,960 {\an1}KNOCK AT DOOR 165 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,480 {\an2}Hello. 166 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,760 {\an2}Can I come in? 167 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,080 {\an2}Please do. 168 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,640 {\an8}This looks fiendish. 169 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:37,920 {\an8}Look at all these bells, ah. 170 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:43,800 {\an8}That says 'Don't' on it. But I do I want to, I won't. 171 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:46,480 {\an8}OK. Ah, ooh. Piss it. 172 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,040 {\an2}Hang on. Right. 173 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,320 {\an2}I've found some little bits 174 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,800 {\an8}of paper that say 'vibration, danger' 175 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,880 {\an8}'Big light, leaves.' 176 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:58,680 {\an8}'Sound.' 177 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:02,600 {\an8}'UV light, smoke, vibration.' 178 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,480 {\an8}It's like an Ann Summers party. 179 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,680 {\an8}Do whatever you like with these switches for five minutes. 180 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:12,760 {\an8}OK. You will then do a task in the lab for five minutes. All right. 181 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,240 {\an8}The conditions in the lab will change according 182 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,880 {\an8}to when you switch the switches in here. 183 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,600 {\an8}So there's a cause and effect situation. 184 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,400 {\an8}The annoying thing is I don't know what the switches do. 185 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,960 {\an8}I have told you what the switches do it's all on those labels. 186 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,360 {\an8}Your time starts when Alex is confident you understand 187 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,400 {\an8}the task. 188 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:36,040 {\an8}Confident and Alex are two words one doesn't associate. 189 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,680 {\an8}Wonder what the task is. 190 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:39,880 {\an8}What have you put in there? 191 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,920 {\an8}Leaves. Leaves. 192 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:42,520 {\an8}Surely that's the main switch. 193 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:46,600 {\an8}I expect danger is that one. Oh, I, I don't know. 194 00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,320 {\an8}I don't think I trust you. 195 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,520 {\an8}What's that one? Like I don't know what that one is. 196 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:54,600 {\an8}It's like with this, what's the point of, like, trying to like...? 197 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,040 {\an8}What will be will be. 198 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:02,160 {\an2}I really think that piss it is an underrated exclamation. 199 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:03,800 {\an2}I really enjoyed piss it. 200 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,160 {\an2}It is lovely, isn't it? 201 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,840 {\an2}It's nice, it's harmless, it's warm. 202 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,320 {\an2}The task as far as I can work out before we get on with it is, 203 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,280 {\an2}it's largely arbitrary that they don't know 204 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,920 {\an2}which label goes with which switch. 205 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,600 {\an2}Bit like giving a toy to a child and saying, don't play with that 206 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,080 {\an2}for five minutes and... Yeah. And probably they all did. 207 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,680 {\an2}Well, let's crack on. Yeah. 208 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,200 {\an2}OK, get ready, Greg, here they all are flicking themselves silly. 209 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,880 {\an2}Oh.Oh. LAUGHTER 210 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,200 {\an8}I'm confident you understand the task. Your time starts now. 211 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,080 {\an8}I'll start with a bit of leaves. 212 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,960 {\an8}If I leave it on do leaves keep coming? 213 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,760 {\an8}Well, it depends if it is leaves, of course. 214 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,440 {\an8}Of course. Yeah. 215 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,000 {\an8}I'll turn it off again now. Right. 216 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,640 {\an8}That one's already on so I think I'll turn that one off. 217 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,160 {\an8}I mean, that's danger right there, that nearly took my hand off. 218 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,640 {\an8}Well, it does say "Don't". 219 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,200 {\an8}I mean lights are not going to bother me, are they? 220 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,840 {\an8}I'm going to give myself a bit of time once I'm in there 221 00:09:58,880 --> 00:09:59,880 {\an8}just to muck around. 222 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,280 {\an8}Blimey it's all happening. 223 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,440 {\an8}This one. That one. 224 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:16,080 {\an8}All right, now we're going to... Oh, no wait a second, would you? 225 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,240 {\an8}It wasn't a very long rest. 226 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,400 {\an8}No. 227 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,240 {\an8}I need to have a bit of this one. 228 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,320 {\an8}I don't know what, though. I don't like going upside down, 229 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:34,680 {\an8}spiders, uh, hot dogs, you know the ones in tins. 230 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,960 {\an8}I don't like, you know, if you pull cotton wool apart. 231 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,800 {\an8}Folk music. 232 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,080 {\an8}I don't like ice cubes. 233 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,440 {\an8}What if that's leaves? 234 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,360 {\an8}I've been denied the pleasure of leaves. 235 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,000 {\an8}30 seconds. 236 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:02,840 {\an8}How much longer? 237 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,240 {\an8}Three seconds. 238 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:09,640 {\an8}WHISTLE OK, I'll see you in the lab, Sam. 239 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,280 {\an8}Well... Yeah, great thank you. 240 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:17,800 {\an8}What have I done? Oh, dear. What have I done? 241 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,640 {\an2}What have you done, Julian, do you think that...? 242 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,440 {\an2}Well, we just didn't know. You know, it was quite a lot of fun. 243 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:30,040 {\an2}No and yet, across the series you seem a very intelligent man 244 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,280 {\an2}to me and yet you spent a long time flicking those switches on and off. 245 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:34,760 {\an2}Well, there was nothing else to do. 246 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,240 {\an2}There was no cheery chat from Alex. 247 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,960 {\an2}No. There never is. 248 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,320 {\an2}Well, Sam said, "I want to buy myself some 249 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,320 {\an2}"time once I'm in there to muck around." 250 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:50,080 {\an2}Yeah, it is about that in a way. 251 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,280 {\an2}Hmm. 252 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,360 {\an2}You know when two samurai encounter... 253 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,040 {\an2}This is real. Yeah. When they encounter each other, 254 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,080 {\an2}they'll, like... Do you know what I mean? 255 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,640 {\an2}And then the first one to move will often be slain. 256 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:08,400 {\an2}And also a samurai can tell if he will defeat another samurai just by 257 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,920 {\an2}watching them making a cup of tea cos they're like, 258 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,320 {\an2}they see how effective they are. 259 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,320 {\an2}I...I've moved, yeah. Yeah. 260 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,800 {\an2}I...I'm happy to be slain just to get out of this chat. 261 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,560 {\an2}What's next, Alex? 262 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,400 {\an2}Here are Sam and Susan and the results of their switching. 263 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,160 {\an2}My God. 264 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,440 {\an2}So you've decided... Oh, my God. 265 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,720 {\an2}Yeah. You've decided the conditions for this task. 266 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:39,760 {\an2}Yeah. 267 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,280 {\an2}I'm scared. 268 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,880 {\an2}What happens in here is all your fault. 269 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,360 {\an2}OK. 270 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,760 {\an2}Feet close together, please. Why? 271 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:49,920 {\an2}It's important. 272 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,200 {\an2}That's not good for balance. 273 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:53,320 {\an2}No. 274 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,480 {\an2}'Balance the most tees on the shelves.' So these are the tees. 275 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:57,840 {\an2}Uh-huh. OK. 276 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,920 {\an2}Oh, 'You must stay on the platform throughout the task. 277 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,560 {\an2}'You have five minutes. 278 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,440 {\an2}'Your time starts when Alex is confident you understand the task.' 279 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,000 {\an2}Where are the golf tees? 280 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,720 {\an2}Here. Where are the shelves? 281 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,000 {\an2}Here. 282 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,080 {\an2}I'm going to start the clock now. 283 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,520 {\an2}Absolutely terrified. 284 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:26,720 {\an2}Do you like it? 285 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,280 {\an8}My method was kind of doing everything at once. 286 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,120 {\an8}So I guess everything wild will happen. 287 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:47,640 {\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell. 288 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,960 {\an2}Why is it saying my name? 289 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,640 {\an2}Well, you switched the sound button on. Sam Campbell. 290 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,680 {\an2}I can't work under these conditions. 291 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,920 {\an2}Oh, my God! 292 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,000 {\an2}Fucking hell. 293 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,560 {\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell. 294 00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,800 {\an2}This is insane. Sam Campbell. 295 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,440 {\an2}No! 296 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,920 {\an2}How... What time are we up to? 297 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:11,560 {\an2}Uh, you've got two minutes 50 left. 298 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,720 {\an2}Yeah. No tees yet. 299 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,240 {\an2}Can you remember what you did now in the...? 300 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,200 {\an2}Oh, this is when I have a break. Yes. 301 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,320 {\an2}Right, fine. Well, then this is the most that I'm going to get on. 302 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,440 {\an2}Oh, yeah it was only like 30 seconds, wasn't it? 303 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,480 {\an2}20. 304 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,360 {\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell. 305 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,760 {\an2}I mean how is that falling off even through that. 306 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,680 {\an2}Well, you've turned on the vibration switch. 307 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:37,680 {\an2}Now I know I shouldn't have touched any of the bloody switches. 308 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,080 {\an2}That's going to ruin it. 309 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,280 {\an2}That was like... 310 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,000 {\an2}Oh, what? 311 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,280 {\an2}Sam Campbell. Sam Campbell. 312 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,320 {\an2}Ah. 313 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:56,560 {\an2}Sam Campbell. 314 00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:57,880 {\an1}WHISTLE 315 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,240 {\an2}That was really tough. 316 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,560 {\an1}WHISTLE 317 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,560 {\an1}I think that's pretty bloody good. 318 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,520 {\an1}APPLAUSE 319 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,680 {\an2}I think that being jiggled around on a vibrating platform, 320 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,080 {\an2}it sort of suits you? 321 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,920 {\an2}Yes. 322 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,480 {\an2}Does that make sense? 323 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,880 {\an2}You're not the first person to say that. 324 00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:24,880 {\an2}How many did she stack? Well, we saw, just two. 325 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:27,640 {\an2}But she did realise halfway through, if she hadn't pressed any of 326 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,960 {\an2}the switches, the conditions would've been perfect. 327 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,800 {\an2}And that's sort of key to this, really. 328 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,920 {\an2}If they'd not flicked any switches... Yeah, just chilled out. 329 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,600 {\an2}Sam actually did pretty well, right? Well, he created a method. 330 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,760 {\an2}He did all of his flicking in a short period of time. 331 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:41,440 {\an2}He did well despite that, I'd say 332 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,040 {\an2}He created a method of balancing the tees within a task, 333 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,360 {\an2}which was balancing on it. And he also balanced a bowl 334 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,920 {\an2}on the bottom of the shelves. I don't know if that counts. 335 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,000 {\an2}I thought that creation was legit. Oh, OK. That's what I thought. 336 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,400 {\an2}Well, then he got sort of 87, I suppose. 337 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,320 {\an2}Wait, wait, wait, wait - really? Wow. I know. 338 00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:59,680 {\an2}Yeah, I guess I'll take 87, yeah. 339 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,120 {\an2}Right, join us after the break. 340 00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:03,400 {\an2}If I were you, I'd leave that guff-soaked sofa 341 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,480 {\an2}and get some fresh air for a few minutes. 342 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,520 {\an2}Fart outside! Live a little! 343 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,200 {\an1}APPLAUSE 344 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,480 {\an2}Hello! Hello! 345 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,080 {\an2}I'm afraid to say you've woken me from my power nap 346 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,360 {\an2}and I'm not a happy boy. 347 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,080 {\an2}Chill out, dude. 348 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,480 {\an2}Before the break, the cast were presented with some switches, 349 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:32,040 {\an2}fully aware that how and when and if they were switched 350 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,000 {\an2}would directly affect the conditions of the next task. 351 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:36,840 {\an2}Here is everyone else. 352 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,160 {\an2}Your time starts...now. 353 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,400 {\an2}Ah, I'll start with a little leaves. 354 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,840 {\an2}Immediately with the leaves. 355 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,840 {\an2}Oh, you see... Oh, it was leaves, it was leaves! It was leaves. 356 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,880 {\an2}Do I need to...? Oh. VIBRATION 357 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,800 {\an2}Ooh, I say. 358 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,640 {\an2}Fucking hell! 359 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,040 {\an2}Sorry, sorry, sorry. 360 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,080 {\an2}Leaves. 361 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,400 {\an2}Oh, for God's sake. 362 00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:17,480 {\an2}WOMAN'S VOICE: Sue Perkins. Sue Perkins. 363 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,040 {\an2}Oh, I don't want to listen to that. 364 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,280 {\an2}No, I don't want to listen to that. That's the sound on. 365 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,720 {\an2}I don't like it. Sue Perkins? Sue Perkins. 366 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,160 {\an2}Sue Perkins. 367 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,720 {\an2}I just farted on my...! 368 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,320 {\an2}There's more to come! 369 00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:31,680 {\an2}Sue Perkins. 370 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:35,080 {\an2}Don't make me fart in the dark listening to my own name! 371 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,520 {\an2}Sue Perkins? 372 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,920 {\an2}I don't like UV light very much. 373 00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:46,400 {\an2}My mum thinks it was because I was in an incubator to help me grow. 374 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,240 {\an2}VIBRATION Oh! 375 00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,080 {\an2}Sue Perkins. Yeah. 376 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:51,920 {\an2}Sue Perkins? Yeah? 377 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,640 {\an2}Sue Perkins. Yeah. 378 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,280 {\an1}WHISTLE 379 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,480 {\an2}WHISTLE Oh. 380 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,920 {\an2}WHISTLE And we're done. 381 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,320 {\an2}Can you stop me vibrating? Yeah. 382 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:06,760 {\an2}Oh. Thank you, Julian. Thank you. 383 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,280 {\an2}Goodbye, Sue. That sounded very final. 384 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,680 {\an2}And after what I've done in this room, I don't blame you. 385 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,840 {\an2}So sorry for everyone. 386 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,520 {\an1}SHE WAFTS THE PLASTIC SHEETING 387 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,680 {\an1}APPLAUSE 388 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,440 {\an2}Did you enjoy that task, Julian? I did quite. 389 00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,080 {\an2}And it was very sensory, wasn't it? 390 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:27,040 {\an2}With all the lights and the movement. Yeah. 391 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,800 {\an2}It was better than some I've sat through anyway. 392 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,040 {\an2}There was a slight issue with Julian's, which we didn't 393 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,880 {\an2}really show there, but the vibration machine wouldn't turn off 394 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,200 {\an2}afterwards. Remember, you were on there for another minute afterwards. 395 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,560 {\an2}Get your thrills where you can at my age. 396 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,400 {\an2}Sue, you said, in my opinion, 397 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:47,120 {\an2}the greatest thing that's ever been said on this show. 398 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,320 {\an2}"Please don't make me fart in the dark listening to my own name." 399 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,240 {\an1}APPLAUSE 400 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,160 {\an2}Can I ask you about Sue's technique of balancing? They're not balanced. 401 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,080 {\an2}You poked them through the shelf. 402 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:04,200 {\an2}I was really desperate at that point. Yeah, I know, cos the... 403 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,400 {\an2}Yeah, but is it more balanced 404 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,280 {\an2}than me just putting a bowl on the table? 405 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,200 {\an2}Yeah, you did allow 87 from Sam. Yeah. 406 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,880 {\an2}In a bowl plonked on the bottom shelf. 407 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,360 {\an2}Oh! No, I wasn't allowing that. I was allowing... 408 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,760 {\an2}Sorry, there's been some confusion. Ah. 409 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:23,400 {\an2}I was allowing his system of hanging things. Ah. Sorry. 410 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:24,720 {\an2}Now I feel really bad. 411 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:27,880 {\an2}Yeah, you've really fucked Sam over there. 412 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,800 {\an2}Yeah, you're pretty at good sticking things into other places. Yeah. 413 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,960 {\an2}Knives into backs. Balanced! 414 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,280 {\an2}It's balanced, man. 415 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,320 {\an2}So, we're saying that Sue didn't balance any tees? I'm afraid we are, 416 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,920 {\an2}because they were quite clearly pushed through the shelf. 417 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,800 {\an2}That is very harsh but I accept it always. 418 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,240 {\an2}I should also tell you then that Julian did manage 419 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:47,080 {\an2}to balance nine tees on his shelves. 420 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,760 {\an2}IMPRESSED WHISTLE Lucy, 19. 421 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:56,560 {\an2}That's amazing. What we haven't seen yet is the Don't Switch. 422 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,400 {\an2}Danger did go with Don't. Shall we see what the Danger Switch did? 423 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,560 {\an2}Yes, please. OK. Good luck, everyone. Here we go. 424 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,560 {\an2}I've spent however long just trying to avoid that button. 425 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,520 {\an2}That's all I've thought about from the moment I've walked in. 426 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,920 {\an2}I mean, I've been brought up well. 427 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,320 {\an2}If something tells me not to touch it, I'm not going to touch it. 428 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:18,680 {\an2}Right, I'm going to start the task now. 429 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,760 {\an2}Hee-hee-hee! 430 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,680 {\an2}I can't say I wasn't warned. 431 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,000 {\an2}Still got 1:45. 432 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,640 {\an2}Oh... 433 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,000 {\an2}I'm going to go for this one. 434 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,360 {\an2}How much danger can I endure, ten seconds' worth? 435 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,920 {\an2}Well, you have now ten seconds left. 436 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:37,520 {\an2}Five seconds left, Lucy. 437 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,920 {\an2}Do you want me to press the button? 438 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,480 {\an2}WHISTLE You can't now, unfortunately. 439 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,120 {\an2}Oh, shit, there's... 440 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,880 {\an1}WHISTLE 441 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,640 {\an2}Right, I'm going to go for this one. 442 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,200 {\an2}Hee-hee-hee. 443 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,640 {\an2}Do you know what, I was ten seconds away from 444 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,840 {\an2}avoiding my baser instincts. And I failed. 445 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,880 {\an1}APPLAUSE 446 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,680 {\an2}Oh. 447 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,840 {\an2}I really like it when you're disappointed in us. 448 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,560 {\an2}There's something wrong with me! 449 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,320 {\an2}Well, we weren't to know that was going to happen, were we? 450 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:17,160 {\an2}It did say "don't". Yeah. 451 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,160 {\an2}Heart breaking, but good news to old Lucy. Yes. 452 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,840 {\an2}Yeah, I think she only didn't press it because she ran out of time. 453 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,240 {\an2}She wanted to. No, I wasn't going to. No, no. 454 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,800 {\an2}Were you a well-behaved child? I had to be. 455 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,680 {\an2}Oh, yeah, me too. My mum was incredibly violent. 456 00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,320 {\an2}Where does all that leave us? Well, it means that no-one 457 00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:40,400 {\an2}gets any points, they were all disqualified, 458 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,680 {\an2}except for Lucy Beaumont, who gets five points. 459 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,240 {\an1}APPLAUSE 460 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,200 {\an2}Let's have a look at a scoreboard, can we? 461 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,720 {\an2}We can and, unsurprisingly, 462 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,440 {\an2}Lucy's in the lead with seven points! Well done, Lucy. 463 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,600 {\an2}Let's have another one, please. 464 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,400 {\an2}Yes. In your face, Greg. 465 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,600 {\an1}QUIET THUD 466 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,280 {\an2}Sorry, I didn't mean to kick the door, sorry. 467 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:13,800 {\an2}What larks. 468 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,480 {\an2}Already, this is my favourite. 469 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,560 {\an2}Yeah, me too. 470 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:18,560 {\an2}I've always wanted to be a clown. 471 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:20,520 {\an2}Mixed emotions? 472 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:21,840 {\an2}Mainly joy. 473 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:25,960 {\an2}Oh, that's not edible. 474 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,440 {\an2}Now, fear. 475 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,120 {\an2}Any sign of that secret task yet? 476 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:33,480 {\an2}Not yet. 477 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,600 {\an2}"Pie Wayne in the face." 478 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,280 {\an2}Will I know who Wayne is? 479 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,240 {\an2}Do you know any Waynes? 480 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,840 {\an2}Rooney. 481 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,240 {\an2}Not him. 482 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,160 {\an2}"Wayne is outside the front door." 483 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:49,080 {\an2}"You may not touch Wayne nor step on the red green." 484 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:51,200 {\an2}The red green? 485 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:52,960 {\an2}Now, what the hell is that? 486 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,880 {\an2}Well, you know a green? Yeah. 487 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:56,240 {\an2}A red one of them. 488 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,560 {\an2}"If you miss Wayne with the pie, you must copy 489 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,880 {\an2}"Wayne's dance moves for ten seconds." 490 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:03,680 {\an2}"You must not touch Wayne." 491 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,120 {\an2}"Fastest wins." 492 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,640 {\an2}"Your time starts when you open the front door." 493 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,760 {\an2}Who is Wayne? Do you know him? 494 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,120 {\an2}I don't know him well. 495 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,840 {\an2}You can't touch any part of Wayne, I need to make that clear. 496 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,080 {\an2}I understand boundaries. 497 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:16,200 {\an2}OK. 498 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,960 {\an2}Are these top-ups? Yeah. OK. 499 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,560 {\an2}Not a lot of faith in me, then, is there? 500 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,560 {\an2}So, do I take more than one pie? 501 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:25,480 {\an2}I'm not likely to miss him, am I? 502 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,080 {\an2}I'll start the clock as soon you open the door. 503 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,120 {\an2}Oh, I see. 504 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,400 {\an2}Hiya, Wayne! 505 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,320 {\an2}That's Wayne? 506 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:51,600 {\an2}Oh, yeah, there he is. 507 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,240 {\an2}In the face? In the face. 508 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,520 {\an2}All right. 509 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,400 {\an2}That's brilliant. 510 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,240 {\an1}APPLAUSE 511 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,800 {\an2}I loved it. I was shit at it but I loved it. 512 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,080 {\an2}Do you think sometimes you've lost some of the innocent joy 513 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,480 {\an2}of childhood, Julian? 514 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,360 {\an2}Because everybody else saw Wayne and went, "Oh!", 515 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,720 {\an2}started laughing and you went, "Oh, I see." No. 516 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,120 {\an2}I was like that as a child, I'm afraid. 517 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,120 {\an2}Nothing's changed. 518 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,200 {\an2}So, basically, they're going to be pieing one of those wavy-arm men 519 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,960 {\an2}from outside garages in the face. 520 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,560 {\an2}Not a great incentive to come back, is it, Alex? 521 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,760 {\an2}No, but I could sing my favourite hymn. 522 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,080 {\an2}Yes? 523 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:46,560 {\an2}Yeah, all right, that'll do. 524 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,720 {\an2}# Be thou my vision 525 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,480 {\an2}# O, Lord of my heart 526 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,360 {\an2}# Nought be all else to me 527 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,640 {\an2}# Save that thou art... # 528 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:12,880 {\an1}APPLAUSE 529 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,480 {\an2}Welcome back to Taskmaster. 530 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,200 {\an2}It's part three and I want to see wavy man Wayne get pied in the face. 531 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,560 {\an2}Oh, I do too Greg. 532 00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,840 {\an2}Remember, as is common practice on Taskmaster, 533 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,440 {\an2}they can't stand on the red green. 534 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,520 {\an2}So, let's begin with Susie and Susannah. 535 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,600 {\an2}So, Wayne's going to be operated by a switch. 536 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,480 {\an2}I've got to try and find the switch. 537 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,520 {\an2}That's part of him, that's his umbilical cord. 538 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:38,640 {\an2}Oh, so I can't...? 539 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,200 {\an2}Oi. 540 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,960 {\an2}That's not his face. 541 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:54,040 {\an2}You must dance. Ugh! 542 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:05,600 {\an2}Ugh. Is that ten seconds? 543 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,120 {\an2}That's ten seconds. 544 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,800 {\an2}Be careful. 545 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,120 {\an2}Lovely. Thank you, Sue. 546 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:15,520 {\an2}OK. 547 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,320 {\an2}I mean... 548 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:21,360 {\an2}Ah! 549 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,480 {\an2}Sue? 550 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,280 {\an2}Thank you, Sue. 551 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,360 {\an2}Wayne's my favourite. 552 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:36,960 {\an2}Come on, you little shit! 553 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:42,800 {\an2}Sue. 554 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:44,000 {\an2}Oh, Christ. 555 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,400 {\an2}Can't see anything now. 556 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,120 {\an2}Basically did this at Rada. OK. 557 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:00,480 {\an2}Yeah, that's ten seconds. 558 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,920 {\an2}Why did you have to pick this one after lunch?! 559 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,160 {\an2}Come on. 560 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:11,680 {\an2}Oh, shit. 561 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,640 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. Did I get it? Yeah. 562 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,680 {\an1}CHEERING 563 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:24,400 {\an2}Where is his umbilicus? 564 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,560 {\an2}The naughty flamingo's going to touch him. 565 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:36,880 {\an2}Naughty flamingo. 566 00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:43,920 {\an2}Little fucker. 567 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,160 {\an2}Don't touch him. 568 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:48,160 {\an2}Come on, naughty flamingo. 569 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,040 {\an2}You've on more task to fulfil. 570 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:55,360 {\an2}Pin him! 571 00:27:57,640 --> 00:27:59,400 {\an2}Take it. 572 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:00,880 {\an2}I've stopped the clock, Sue. 573 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,680 {\an1}APPLAUSE 574 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,240 {\an2}It felt like it was a bit of a grudge for you, in the end. 575 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,440 {\an2}Yeah, I mean... 576 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:12,240 {\an2}"Take it, you little fucker."? 577 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,480 {\an2}Yeah. There's only so much expressive dance I can do 578 00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,800 {\an2}and I don't have the training. Susan's got training. 579 00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:18,760 {\an2}She's got, you know, the depth of experience, 580 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,160 {\an2}she understands the biomechanics of the human form and art in general. 581 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,640 {\an2}I was just very, very frustrated and then blind 582 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,280 {\an2}and then the naughty flamingo spared my blushes. 583 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,360 {\an2}I like to see that sort of lateral thinking. 584 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,760 {\an2}The naughty flamingo was allowed to touch Wayne. 585 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:36,200 {\an2}Yes, yes, the flamingo could touch Wayne. Yeah. And did. And did. 586 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,840 {\an2}Now, Susan's told us repeatedly that she trained for three years at Rada. 587 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,240 {\an2}I put it to you, Susan, you weren't even attempting 588 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,600 {\an2}to pie Wayne for most of it, 589 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,400 {\an2}you were just enjoying the interpretive dance. 590 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,280 {\an2}Yeah, yeah. I just was so... As you say, when I saw him, 591 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,440 {\an2}it was so glorious and I sort of forgot the point of it. 592 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,080 {\an2}Yeah. But I had a good time. But the final pieing was... 593 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,240 {\an2}Well, it caught us by surprise. It caught me by surprise. Bloody hell. 594 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,360 {\an2}Yeah. Three awful throws got nowhere near. 595 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,520 {\an2}The fourth, right in the face. Only took her 1:39. 596 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,440 {\an1}CHEERING 597 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,280 {\an2}And what about old grudge match over there? 598 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,120 {\an2}Naughty flamingo lady? Yeah. 599 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,680 {\an2}7:25. Wow. 600 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:17,080 {\an2}Little bit longer. Who's next? 601 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:21,120 {\an2}OK, we've seen the Sues, now for Julian, Sam, Lucy and Wayne again. 602 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:26,920 {\an2}Julian? 603 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:27,960 {\an2}That's not his face. 604 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,160 {\an2}Now you have dance on the dancing mat. 605 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:38,920 {\an2}That's lovely, Julian. 606 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,640 {\an2}Are you OK? 607 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,600 {\an2}Oh, what are you looking for? 608 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,080 {\an2}LUCY: Something to get Wayne down. 609 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:55,960 {\an2}Was that on his face? No, afraid not. 610 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,120 {\an2}That's lovely, Julian. 611 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:06,680 {\an2}I'll go and get another pie. OK. 612 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,280 {\an2}I brought this from home. 613 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:14,680 {\an2}Can I try and lasso him? 614 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,920 {\an2}Now you have to dance, Julian. 615 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,560 {\an2}My enthusiasm for the dancing has waned, as it were. 616 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:30,600 {\an2}It has waned. 617 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,160 {\an2}Pretty close. 618 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,040 {\an2}Can you hold the other end of that to trap him? 619 00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:05,520 {\an2}To trap...? I'll do what I'm told. 620 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:10,160 {\an2}No, no, no, stop! 621 00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,200 {\an2}This way. 622 00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,320 {\an2}I've got him! Surely?! 623 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,840 {\an2}Surely, surely I got him? 624 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,440 {\an2}I got him! I got him! 625 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:20,720 {\an2}I got him big time! 626 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:21,760 {\an2}Yeah, yeah. 627 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,360 {\an1}APPLAUSE 628 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,000 {\an2}Well, that's not my problem, is it? 629 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,240 {\an2}There you are. I've stopped the clock. 630 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,400 {\an2}Thank you. 631 00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:43,160 {\an1}APPLAUSE 632 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:53,480 {\an2}Wayne! Don't touch me, Wayne! 633 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,200 {\an2}Wayne! 634 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:58,360 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. 635 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:01,800 {\an2}Wow. 636 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:03,480 {\an2}Got him, I got Wayne. 637 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,440 {\an1}APPLAUSE 638 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,040 {\an2}Julian, your pie technique was dreadful. 639 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:13,080 {\an2}But I thought you were a very graceful dancer. 640 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:15,560 {\an2}Oh, thank you. You're welcome. 641 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,040 {\an2}Anything else to say? No. 642 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:22,400 {\an2}I thought the most dramatic thing we were going to see in those attempts 643 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:26,280 {\an2}was Sam shouting, "I got him big time." 644 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,760 {\an2}He had it too good for too long. 645 00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,960 {\an2}What turned out to be the most dramatic thing was Julian Clary 646 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,520 {\an2}taking Wayne down with a swing ball. Yeah. 647 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,440 {\an2}That was the most dramatic thing. 648 00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:42,480 {\an2}Lucy, did you think the task was touch Wayne as much as you can? 649 00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,960 {\an2}The swing ball touched him. As well, yeah. 650 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,120 {\an2}You touched him big time. But how? 651 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,960 {\an2}With your hands. 652 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,200 {\an2}He touched me. 653 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:55,720 {\an2}You did touch Wayne and, even if you didn't, there was one other rule 654 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,760 {\an2}which you may have broken as well. What? You weren't allowed to touch 655 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,200 {\an2}the red green. Of course, we always know that. This is what happened. 656 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:14,640 {\an2}Well over. Oh, no. 657 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:18,760 {\an2}But why are you zooming in on people's feet, you sicko? 658 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,240 {\an2}That's fetish, that is. 659 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:23,320 {\an2}I mean, I am going to disqualify them 660 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:25,840 {\an2}but I also agree with them, you are sick. 661 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:29,760 {\an2}The three of them, very similar times. 662 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,880 {\an2}Lucy, actually, 3:25. Right. As relevant as that is. Yeah. 663 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,680 {\an2}Julian, 3:32, Sam, 3:40. 664 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:40,040 {\an2}So, what that means is that Sue and Lucy don't get any points. 665 00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:41,640 {\an2}Oh, fuck you. 666 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,040 {\an2}Do you know what? He's smiling but he's hurting. 667 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,120 {\an2}The reason you can't see he's hurting... 668 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,880 {\an2}He does. You do look like you have had.... He does! 669 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,880 {\an2}You look as smooth as fibreglass. 670 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:08,120 {\an2}You do, he's right. You look like a canoe. Right. 671 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:09,920 {\an2}So, Sam, you get three points, 672 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:11,120 {\an2}Julian, four, 673 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,160 {\an2}but five points goes to Susan Wokoma! 674 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,360 {\an1}CHEERING 675 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:19,960 {\an2}OK. And now time for some product placement. 676 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,960 {\an2}There's a bee out there. 677 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:36,640 {\an2}Is there? Yeah. OK. 678 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:41,760 {\an2}Sorry, I shouldn't have come in too big, should I? 679 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:44,920 {\an2}Perkins. 680 00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:46,440 {\an2}Horne. 681 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,120 {\an2}Oh, God. 682 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,320 {\an2}Oh, look, it's me. You both look great. 683 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:06,440 {\an2}She's pretty. 684 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:09,680 {\an2}LAUGHING: Look at my hands. 685 00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,600 {\an2}Oh, it's me with my eyes shut. 686 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,960 {\an2}Oh, I do all my pictures like this. 687 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,200 {\an2}I never told you, did I? 688 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,200 {\an2}Thank you. 689 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,720 {\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within... 690 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,880 {\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within the..." 691 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:32,760 {\an2}Oh, she's putting me off. 692 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:33,800 {\an2}"Put yourself..." 693 00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:41,000 {\an2}If that started walking away, I'd be so freaked out. 694 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:45,000 {\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within the boundary." 695 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,160 {\an2}"Put yourself somewhere within the boundary." 696 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,840 {\an2}That's what my therapist says. 697 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,440 {\an2}"The person furthest from everyone else wins." 698 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,600 {\an2}"The people closest together both lose two points." 699 00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:00,720 {\an2}"Also, throughout the task you must behave really weirdly." 700 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,400 {\an2}"You must behave really weirdly." 701 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:04,640 {\an2}Ugh. 702 00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:05,720 {\an2}"Really weirdly." 703 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,240 {\an2}"Weirdly." "Weirdly." 704 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:09,960 {\an2}Don't have to tell me twice. 705 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,080 {\an2}"You've got a maximum of ten minutes. 706 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:15,000 {\an2}"Your time starts...now." 707 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:19,680 {\an2}So, you've just got to think, where would Sue Perkins put Sue Perkins? 708 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:23,640 {\an2}Well, there's no way of knowing, is there? No. No, there isn't. 709 00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,600 {\an1}APPLAUSE 710 00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:29,080 {\an2}I think that some tasks are unfairly stacked in 711 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,040 {\an2}the favour of some contestants. I mean, I don't want to pick on people 712 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,480 {\an2}but I have written down that, throughout this, sometimes, 713 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,640 {\an2}Lucy and Sam have come across as - 714 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:40,360 {\an2}well, I've written "absolutely deranged". 715 00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:45,360 {\an1}CHEERING 716 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:48,200 {\an2}That's another part complete. 717 00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:52,760 {\an2}If you want to see someone forced to take home Susan's prizes for 718 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:54,360 {\an2}a second time, then, by all means, 719 00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,360 {\an2}please join us again for part four. Bye. 720 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:12,000 {\an2}Hello! Welcome back to the final part of the show. 721 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,000 {\an2}Yes, and welcome to those who aren't watching Taskmaster too, 722 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,280 {\an2}that's absolutely fine. 723 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,080 {\an2}It's about time we found out where the five competitors placed the 724 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,440 {\an2}cut-outs of themselves. The person furthest from everyone else wins, 725 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,720 {\an2}but the two people closest together each lose two points. 726 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,760 {\an2}Ye-ouch! Here's what they did. 727 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,520 {\an2}Behave weirdly. Shall I behave like you? 728 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,680 {\an2}Yes, please. 729 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:34,960 {\an2}Ah. 730 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,920 {\an2}"There's nothing I can do to help you." 731 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:42,960 {\an1}SUE GROWLS LIKE CHEWBACCA 732 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,760 {\an1}SHE YODELS 733 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,200 {\an2}I don't think anyone would be as obvious as... 734 00:38:03,240 --> 00:38:05,520 {\an2}I don't think anyone would be obvious as this. 735 00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:16,920 {\an2}There's an argument for just popping myself just there. 736 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,280 {\an1}LUCY YODELS 737 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,480 {\an2}Where do you think Sue Perkins is going to put herself? 738 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:28,560 {\an2}Um, there. 739 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:30,360 {\an2}Sam Campbell? 740 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:31,800 {\an2}Um, there. 741 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:33,280 {\an2}Susan Wokoma? 742 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,000 {\an2}Um, there. 743 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,880 {\an2}And Julian Clary? 744 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:38,120 {\an2}Just there. 745 00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:39,280 {\an2}That's quite near your one. 746 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,360 {\an2}Yeah, I know. 747 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,640 {\an2}Why have you put it so close to Julian Clary? 748 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,640 {\an2}I didn't know at the time that he put it there. 749 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,520 {\an2}Can I move it again? Well, you've still got eight minutes. 750 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:50,560 {\an2}OK. 751 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,760 {\an1}SHE YODELS 752 00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,480 {\an2}So, say I tear his head off...? 753 00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:06,560 {\an2}Is that me, then? Like, what makes you you? 754 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,520 {\an2}Is it where your head is or your heart or your...? 755 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:10,680 {\an2}It'll be a discussion. 756 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,720 {\an2}But to be honest, for some people, this isn't weird, this is exercise. 757 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:17,560 {\an2}But to me, that's about as weird as it gets. 758 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,320 {\an2}I'm off fishing now. 759 00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:30,000 {\an2}So, is it me that likes fishing in this scenario? 760 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,480 {\an2}Don't you like fishing? I don't think so. Or bird watching? 761 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,480 {\an2}Yes, please. I knew it was something boring. Right. 762 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,640 {\an2}I'm off to find a robin. 763 00:39:38,680 --> 00:39:41,280 {\an2}Where do you think Julian Clary's going to put himself? 764 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,200 {\an2}Probably, like, back there or something. 765 00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:46,280 {\an2}Sam Campbell? They're going to be doing this. Going, "Whoo." 766 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:49,640 {\an2}Ugh. 767 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,360 {\an1}SHE YODELS 768 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,080 {\an2}I think it's now not near anybody. 769 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,840 {\an2}Ugh. 770 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:00,280 {\an2}Could do that? 771 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,240 {\an2}But will that be far enough away? 772 00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,120 {\an2}OK. 773 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,200 {\an2}Something about the boundary line. Right. 774 00:40:10,240 --> 00:40:13,000 {\an2}On the horns, by the boundary line. 775 00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,080 {\an2}Do you have a coin on you? I'm going to coin toss it. 776 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,120 {\an2}Thanks, Sam. 777 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,960 {\an2}Heads for that deer's head. 778 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,040 {\an2}Tails for on the boundary line. 779 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,280 {\an1}APPLAUSE 780 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,120 {\an2}Julian displays a continual - 781 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:37,800 {\an2}and, to me, delightful - contempt for Alex. 782 00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:39,840 {\an2}And this is the zenith, I think. 783 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,360 {\an2}Doing a insulting impression of him... Can I see it again? Yes. 784 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,200 {\an2}"There's nothing I can do to help you." 785 00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:49,960 {\an2}Is that enough? Yeah. 786 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,360 {\an2}That was before his surgery. 787 00:40:54,320 --> 00:40:57,000 {\an1}APPLAUSE 788 00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,000 {\an2}It was a really creditable impression. 789 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,680 {\an2}Thank you. It just came over me. 790 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:02,520 {\an2}He is irritating, isn't he? 791 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:05,760 {\an2}What we need to know is what the coin decided for Sue, of course. 792 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,120 {\an2}Yeah. Before we do, I'll appraise you for 793 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,960 {\an2}a very creditable Chewbacca impression. 794 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,520 {\an1}SHE GROWLS 795 00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:14,440 {\an2}OK, so we're going to find out 796 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,440 {\an2}if Sue is near the tossed head on the deer. 797 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,880 {\an2}This is it, this is the cliff hanger. Yeah. 798 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,120 {\an2}It's all about the toss. Here we go. 799 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,200 {\an2}Heads for that deer's head. 800 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:24,800 {\an2}Tails for on the boundary line. 801 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:31,840 {\an2}Thank you, Sue. Thank you. 802 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,320 {\an2}8cm. 8cm away. 803 00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:51,640 {\an2}That felt... 804 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:53,000 {\an2}I mean, I knew what had happened 805 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,960 {\an2}and even I was swept along by the narrative. 806 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:58,280 {\an2}The coin was so cruel. 807 00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,040 {\an2}Unfortunately, the people closest to each other lost two points. 808 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:02,360 {\an2}Listen, I'm just grateful... 809 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,960 {\an2}I don't think I was disqualified in that round. You weren't. 810 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:06,400 {\an2}But you don't get any points. 811 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:09,640 {\an2}Because the distances from one another, as we can see here, 812 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,600 {\an8}Sam was 14.24m away from everyone. 813 00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,160 {\an8}Lucy second, 13, 814 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,960 {\an8}Julia third, Sue fourth, 815 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,520 {\an8}Susan fifth. 816 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,040 {\an2}But Julian and Susan both lose two points, so it ends up being 817 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,000 {\an2}one point to Susan, none to Sue, one to Julian, 818 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,160 {\an2}four to Lucy and five points to Sam Campbell! 819 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,920 {\an1}APPLAUSE 820 00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,760 {\an2}I think that's a very satisfactory outcome. 821 00:42:29,800 --> 00:42:31,240 {\an2}And it's progress, Sue, in a way, 822 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,480 {\an2}because you've been disqualified for two. Yeah. 823 00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,680 {\an2}But at least you've got no points this time. 824 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:37,120 {\an2}Let's have a glance at the scores. 825 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,480 {\an2}It's tight, except for Sue. 826 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,840 {\an2}Lucy, you're still in the lead with 11 points. 827 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:42,760 {\an1}APPLAUSE 828 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,960 {\an2}OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage 829 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,520 {\an2}for the final task of the show! 830 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,480 {\an1}CHEERING 831 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:58,440 {\an2}Who will be reading the task? 832 00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,160 {\an2}Sue Perkins. 833 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,000 {\an2}"Catch three balls on your head. 834 00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:07,240 {\an2}"After you've caught a ball, you must shout 'ball'. 835 00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:11,080 {\an2}"You may not step off your circles, move your circles, 836 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:15,440 {\an2}"adjust your arms or touch the balls with your hands. 837 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:16,800 {\an2}"The fastest wins." 838 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:19,160 {\an2}Can we cooperate? 839 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:22,520 {\an2}I guess we'll find out. 840 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:23,720 {\an2}Good luck. 841 00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,440 {\an2}On your marks, get set. WHISTLE 842 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,360 {\an2}And they're off. 843 00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,720 {\an2}LUCY: Ball! SAM: Ball! 844 00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:34,640 {\an2}JULIAN: Ball. 845 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,000 {\an2}SAM: Ball. JULIAN: You've got another one. 846 00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,320 {\an2}SAM: It is in there for a bit, does that count? Ball! 847 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:42,840 {\an2}LUCY: Ball. Oh, that's...! 848 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,480 {\an2}Oh, we have a winner over here, Julian Clary! 849 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:52,960 {\an1}CHEERING 850 00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,280 {\an2}And Sam's out. Sam, are you finished? 851 00:43:58,320 --> 00:43:59,320 {\an2}Ball. 852 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:01,480 {\an2}Ball. 853 00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,640 {\an2}Susan, you're done, you're finished. Oh, have I? 854 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:08,840 {\an2}It's just you, Sue. 855 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,440 {\an2}Oh! 856 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,440 {\an2}I was never very good at sport. 857 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,760 {\an2}SAUSAN: Hang on. There's coming... Hang on. 858 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,120 {\an2}There's one coming, incoming. 859 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,440 {\an2}This is a pitiful...! 860 00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:24,640 {\an2}Say ball. Ball. Say ball again. Ball. 861 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,440 {\an2}And then say it one more time. 862 00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:28,880 {\an2}Ball. WHISTLE 863 00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:32,160 {\an2}Come down we'll add that to the final scores, come and join me. 864 00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:37,840 {\an2}That was exciting. Mmm. 865 00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:41,160 {\an2}Not for the first time the group confounded us by working together. 866 00:44:41,200 --> 00:44:44,080 {\an2}They did. One to Sue, two to Susan, three to Lucy, 867 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:47,320 {\an2}four to Sam, five to Julian Clary. Well done. 868 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,800 {\an1}APPLAUSE 869 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,680 {\an2}So, that's affected things in many ways. 870 00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:54,160 {\an2}We have three people in the 90s now, in terms of the series. 871 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,560 {\an2}Susan, you are in last place, on 92. Yes, lovely. 872 00:44:56,600 --> 00:45:00,200 {\an2}Sue, 95, Lucy, 99, then jump up to Julian, on 108, 873 00:45:00,240 --> 00:45:02,120 {\an2}Sam's in the lead on 120. 874 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:03,600 {\an1}APPLAUSE 875 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,160 {\an2}Incredible. Yes. 876 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,920 {\an2}What's the final scoreboard for today? Well, it's a tight one. 877 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,120 {\an2}Sue, stranded on six. 878 00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:14,560 {\an2}The rest, it goes 12, 13, 14, 14 - 879 00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:16,560 {\an2}Lucy and Sam, joint winners. 880 00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:17,840 {\an2}Yay! No! 881 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:19,640 {\an1}CHEERING 882 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:21,280 {\an2}So, we have a tie-break situation. 883 00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:24,160 {\an2}Yes, tie-breaks are very serious matters and we're going to settle 884 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,160 {\an2}this one right here on the studio floor. 885 00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:27,800 {\an2}AUDIENCE: Oooh! 886 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:30,360 {\an2}In my drawer, I have two party poppers. 887 00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,640 {\an2}Oh, I don't like them. 888 00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,200 {\an2}Sam and Lucy will fire their party poppers from their seated positions 889 00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:38,760 {\an2}And the person who fires the contents of their party popper 890 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,560 {\an2}furthest wins, simple as that. We're all out of budget. 891 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:44,080 {\an2}Lucy, are you ready? 892 00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:47,800 {\an2}Three, two, one...pop. 893 00:45:47,840 --> 00:45:49,200 {\an2}Bastard. 894 00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:51,480 {\an2}Sam, I believe this is yours for the taking. 895 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,600 {\an2}Wow. 896 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,040 {\an2}You're going to have to measure this. 897 00:45:59,240 --> 00:46:00,640 {\an2}I'll hold it. Thank you, Sue. 898 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,760 {\an2}Furthest bit. 899 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:05,800 {\an2}108cm. 900 00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:08,800 {\an2}123cm! 901 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:10,600 {\an1}CHEERING 902 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,880 {\an2}Lucy Beaumont wins! 903 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,000 {\an2}Please go and gather your gifts and groan. 904 00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:22,440 {\an2}Not that. 905 00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,600 {\an2}So, what have we learned today? 906 00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,800 {\an2}We've learned that, in a thousand years, when the people of the future 907 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:32,920 {\an2}look back and somehow try to understand how our society worked - 908 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:34,600 {\an2}what were we all about? - 909 00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,800 {\an2}there is one thing along that they will be sure of - 910 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:39,080 {\an2}show them a picture of Sue Perkins and they'll all go, 911 00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:42,680 {\an2}oh, yeah, that's the lady who didn't like farting in the dark 912 00:46:42,720 --> 00:46:45,120 {\an2}to the sound of her own name. 913 00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,480 {\an2}Only three episodes to go, 914 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,480 {\an2}so let's appreciate tonight's winner once more. 915 00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,160 {\an2}It's Lucy Beaumont! 916 00:46:51,200 --> 00:46:52,920 {\an1}CHEERING 917 00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:23,440 {\an3}Subtitles by Red Bee Media