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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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Ooh! Oh, no, no.
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Ooh! Oh, no, no.
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Yes! Ah!
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SHE HISSES, BELL RINGS
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Ah!
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Erm...
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Quite windy today.Yeah.
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Christ.
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Ooh! Wrong way.
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Ooh! Wrong way.
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That's how you do it, baby.
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OK.
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Oh, my God!
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Ah! Ah! Ah!Ooh!
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SHE BABBLES
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster.
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Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster.
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Or as my nan calls it - blyahr.
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Or as my nan calls it - blyahr.
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Being as she is long since dead.
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Being as she is long since dead.
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Our calamitous comedians are
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hurtling ever faster towards
a total loss of credibility.
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hurtling ever faster towards
a total loss of credibility.
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So please give them an
uplifting cheer
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So please give them an
uplifting cheer
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as we welcome back Joanne McNally...
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as we welcome back Joanne McNally...
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..John Robins...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..Nick Mohammed...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..Nick Mohammed...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..Sophie Willan...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..Sophie Willan...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..and Steve Pemberton!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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..and Steve Pemberton!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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And next to me,
a man who confided in me that he
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And next to me,
a man who confided in me that he
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finds his neighbour's wife
"hot as hell and twice as spicy".
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finds his neighbour's wife
"hot as hell and twice as spicy".
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S...
LAUGHTER
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S...
LAUGHTER
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Specifically the neighbours
to the left,
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Specifically the neighbours
to the left,
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if you're looking at
the house from the road.
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if you're looking at
the house from the road.
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HIGH-PITCHED: It's little Alex Horne!
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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That's the worst-ever one.
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That's the worst-ever one.
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No.
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She is nice, you said.
They watch the show. Yep.
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She is nice, you said.
They watch the show. Yep.
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You said you like it
when she puts the washing out.
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You said you like it
when she puts the washing out.
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LAUGHTER
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Hi, Greg. All right?
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Yeah, I'm great.
I'm great, actually, now.
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Yeah, I'm great.
I'm great, actually, now.
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You thinking about her?No.
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Pegging those...
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Pegging those sheets up.
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Anyway, I've got some statistics
for you. Yeah.
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From the channel, about how
people watch the show.
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From the channel, about how
people watch the show.
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So this is interesting. OK.
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20% of people apparently now watch
it on a device...
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20% of people apparently now watch
it on a device...
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..like a mobile or a juicer.
Erm, we've got six...
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..like a mobile or a juicer.
Erm, we've got six...
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64% of people, most people, project
it onto
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64% of people, most people, project
it onto
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a sort of large bui...large
building into...in a town.
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a sort of large bui...large
building into...in a town.
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Erm, normally a big hall. And,
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Erm, normally a big hall. And,
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uh, the other 16% - traditional
flatscreen TV still.
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uh, the other 16% - traditional
flatscreen TV still.
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Right.Uh, but on the floor
and looking down at it
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Right.Uh, but on the floor
and looking down at it
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and dancing around it with some
music on.
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That's, erm, some statistics
about the show. OK.
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That's, erm, some statistics
about the show. OK.
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Ready? Yeah, that was my bit.
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All right, we're off to
an absolute buzzing start.
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All right, we're off to
an absolute buzzing start.
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LAUGHTER
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LAUGHTER
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Right, what's the prize category
this week, Alex?
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Right, what's the prize category
this week, Alex?
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It's the best thing for a person
that is meant for an animal. OK?
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It's the best thing for a person
that is meant for an animal. OK?
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It's the best thing for a person
that is meant for an animal. OK?
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Greg will give the best thing
five points
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and Greg will give
the worst thing one point.
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John, I'm starting with you.
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Well, I wanted to get something
that was fitting of
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Well, I wanted to get something
that was fitting of
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a man of your standing and stature.
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a man of your standing and stature.
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Lovely.
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So I have brought an elephant chair.
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So I have brought an elephant chair.
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Yes, here it is.
It's called a howdah.
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Yes, here it is.
It's called a howdah.
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Ooh.
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ALL:Ooh.
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ALL:Ooh.
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I sort of actually like it, though.
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LAUGHTER
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It's meant for an elephant's back
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It's meant for an elephant's back
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and you would sit on it
on long journeys in the past.
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and you would sit on it
on long journeys in the past.
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However... Sorry...Yeah? Oh, I see!
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However... Sorry...Yeah? Oh, I see!
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LAUGHTER
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God, I mean, I genuinely did imagine
an elephant with
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God, I mean, I genuinely did imagine
an elephant with
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a bad back sitting on it.
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LAUGHTER
Genuinely.
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LAUGHTER
Genuinely.
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However, they are, uh,
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quite cruel to be used on elephants.
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quite cruel to be used on elephants.
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They're damaging to their skin
and their back.
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They're damaging to their skin
and their back.
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Yes.So by taking one off
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the open market, I feel we're all
doing a little bit of good today.
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the open market, I feel we're all
doing a little bit of good today.
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Wow, so if I give this
five points, I'm...
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Wow, so if I give this
five points, I'm...
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..I'm taking one for
the elephant team?
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Big time, big time.
You're sending out a message.
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Big time, big time.
You're sending out a message.
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You're welcome, big ears.
LAUGHTER
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You're welcome, big ears.
LAUGHTER
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Nick, what have you brought in?
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You know when a pet is ill... Yes.
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..and you give it one of those
cones?
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To stop...One of those.
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I just think one of those
for a human - if you had, like,
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I just think one of those
for a human - if you had, like,
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an itch or something, you could wear
one on your hand
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an itch or something, you could wear
one on your hand
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to prevent you from itching.
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Shall I show you his cone that he's
brought in? Thank you.
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Shall I show you his cone that he's
brought in? Thank you.
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I mean, you can if you want
but I already know...
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..I already know how many points
it's getting.Yeah.
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..I already know how many points
it's getting.Yeah.
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I already regret it, Greg.
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Here's the cone, quite a small one.
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Not going to be a surprise,
but there you go.
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Not going to be a surprise,
but there you go.
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Wow, well, cheers, Nick.
It's, uh...Thank you.
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Wow, well, cheers, Nick.
It's, uh...Thank you.
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It's pretty bad.
LAUGHTER
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It's pretty bad.
LAUGHTER
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Steve.
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It's, uh, a scratching brush.
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It's, uh, a scratching brush.
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Here is your scratching brush.
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Now, this promotes skin health,
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Now, this promotes skin health,
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uh, gets rid of parasites.
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uh, gets rid of parasites.
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And, erm, I was imagining you in
the shower.
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And, erm, I was imagining you in
the shower.
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Were you?Yes.
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Were you?Yes.
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Before the task was set?Yeah!
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Before the task was set?Yeah!
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You've got one of these
attached to your towel rail. Yes.
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You've got one of these
attached to your towel rail. Yes.
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And, yeah, you go up
and down on that and, uh...
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And, yeah, you go up
and down on that and, uh...
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Y-You've...
..give yourself a good scratch.
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Y-You've...
..give yourself a good scratch.
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You've imagined that I have some
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You've imagined that I have some
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difficult skin to slew off,
have you?
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difficult skin to slew off,
have you?
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No, it's skin health.
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It's an impressive
load of bullshit for a brush.
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It's an impressive
load of bullshit for a brush.
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LAUGHTER
192
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Joanne.Yes. Uh, can you beat a
brush? Yes, you can.
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Joanne.Yes. Uh, can you beat a
brush? Yes, you can.
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The present I've brought you this
week, Greg,
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The present I've brought you this
week, Greg,
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is a trough.
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LAUGHTER
198
00:04:55,451 --> 00:04:55,691
LAUGHTER
199
00:04:55,731 --> 00:04:57,731
Here is...Here is Joanne's trough.
Meant for an animal,
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00:04:57,771 --> 00:04:59,291
Here is...Here is Joanne's trough.
Meant for an animal,
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00:04:59,331 --> 00:05:01,331
but better for a human.
LAUGHTER
202
00:05:01,371 --> 00:05:01,651
but better for a human.
LAUGHTER
203
00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:03,691
Yes. It's both insulting
and yet appeals.
204
00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:04,971
Yes. It's both insulting
and yet appeals.
205
00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:07,011
LAUGHTER
Keep talking.
206
00:05:07,051 --> 00:05:07,331
LAUGHTER
Keep talking.
207
00:05:07,371 --> 00:05:09,371
People are going back to the earth,
building their own
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00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:09,691
People are going back to the earth,
building their own
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00:05:09,731 --> 00:05:11,731
vegetable patches. I feel the trough
is next. Is it?
210
00:05:11,771 --> 00:05:12,011
vegetable patches. I feel the trough
is next. Is it?
211
00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:15,251
You're imagining trough parties,
are you?Yeah.
212
00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:15,611
You're imagining trough parties,
are you?Yeah.
213
00:05:16,851 --> 00:05:18,851
It's all very Bear Grylls-survival
stuff. Is it?Yeah!
214
00:05:18,891 --> 00:05:20,051
It's all very Bear Grylls-survival
stuff. Is it?Yeah!
215
00:05:20,091 --> 00:05:22,091
Yeah.It's very...
LAUGHTER
216
00:05:22,131 --> 00:05:22,411
Yeah.It's very...
LAUGHTER
217
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You know lads -
they love making their own ham.
218
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:24,771
You know lads -
they love making their own ham.
219
00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:26,771
This is, I feel like...
LAUGHTER
220
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This is what's next. It'll be
like...
221
00:05:28,451 --> 00:05:30,451
You quite often make your own ham.
We're always making our own ham.
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00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:31,171
You quite often make your own ham.
We're always making our own ham.
223
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It's all... They're all going back
to the land with the moustaches
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It's all... They're all going back
to the land with the moustaches
225
00:05:33,971 --> 00:05:35,971
and eating off the ham hock and all,
and I feel like this is next.
226
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:36,531
and eating off the ham hock and all,
and I feel like this is next.
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GREG WHEEZES
228
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Sophie, come on.
229
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I've gone in a different direction.
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Thank God.
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LAUGHTER
232
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Well, I've got a pet feeder.
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00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:48,851
Well, I've got a pet feeder.
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Yes, one of these timed cat feeders.
Here it is. Timed cat feeder.
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00:05:50,931 --> 00:05:52,171
Yes, one of these timed cat feeders.
Here it is. Timed cat feeder.
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00:05:52,211 --> 00:05:54,211
I thought it could be quite
good for you. For me?
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00:05:54,251 --> 00:05:54,731
I thought it could be quite
good for you. For me?
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00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,331
LAUGHTER
239
00:05:56,371 --> 00:05:58,371
Just a little bit of discipline
and structure in your life.
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00:05:58,411 --> 00:05:59,011
Just a little bit of discipline
and structure in your life.
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00:05:59,051 --> 00:06:01,051
LAUGHTER
242
00:06:01,091 --> 00:06:01,331
LAUGHTER
243
00:06:01,371 --> 00:06:03,371
I mean, basically,
what you're saying in that prize is
244
00:06:03,411 --> 00:06:03,691
I mean, basically,
what you're saying in that prize is
245
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,731
you're saying,
"I think you're fat."
246
00:06:05,771 --> 00:06:06,051
you're saying,
"I think you're fat."
247
00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:08,091
LAUGHTER
I was worried about fat shaming.
248
00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:08,691
LAUGHTER
I was worried about fat shaming.
249
00:06:08,731 --> 00:06:10,371
Yeah.I did ask the producer.
250
00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,411
They said, "No, no, it'll be fine.
He needs to hear it."
251
00:06:12,451 --> 00:06:13,051
They said, "No, no, it'll be fine.
He needs to hear it."
252
00:06:17,171 --> 00:06:19,171
APPLAUSE
253
00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:19,371
APPLAUSE
254
00:06:21,971 --> 00:06:23,971
Well, I'll hand out some...some,
uh, points.
255
00:06:24,011 --> 00:06:24,691
Well, I'll hand out some...some,
uh, points.
256
00:06:24,731 --> 00:06:26,731
OK. You're going to start with
the... With Nick, correct.Right.
257
00:06:26,771 --> 00:06:27,211
OK. You're going to start with
the... With Nick, correct.Right.
258
00:06:27,251 --> 00:06:28,251
LAUGHTER
259
00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:29,491
So Nick gets one point.
260
00:06:29,531 --> 00:06:31,411
Steve, sorry. Two points.
261
00:06:31,451 --> 00:06:33,411
There we go, OK. Aw.
I don't want Sophie
262
00:06:33,451 --> 00:06:35,451
to be in control of
when I can have a treat.
263
00:06:35,491 --> 00:06:35,731
to be in control of
when I can have a treat.
264
00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:36,771
LAUGHTER
265
00:06:36,811 --> 00:06:38,811
Are you sure? I'm pretty sure,
so I'm giving her three points.
266
00:06:38,851 --> 00:06:39,331
Are you sure? I'm pretty sure,
so I'm giving her three points.
267
00:06:39,371 --> 00:06:40,811
OK. Three to you, Sophie. Right.
268
00:06:40,851 --> 00:06:42,611
There's something about these young
lads
269
00:06:42,651 --> 00:06:44,171
munching on the ham hocks that got
me.
270
00:06:45,451 --> 00:06:47,451
Joanne, four points. And, uh, I just
want the elephant chair. So...
271
00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,491
Joanne, four points. And, uh, I just
want the elephant chair. So...
272
00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:49,811
Joanne, four points. And, uh, I just
want the elephant chair. So...
273
00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:51,531
Fair enough! Five points
to John Robins!
274
00:06:51,571 --> 00:06:53,571
Get your straps ready.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
275
00:06:53,611 --> 00:06:55,491
Get your straps ready.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
276
00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,051
Let's have a task proper, shall we?
277
00:06:57,091 --> 00:06:58,411
I don't want to alarm you, Greg,
278
00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,451
but there's something mysterious
lurking in our tent.
279
00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:00,731
but there's something mysterious
lurking in our tent.
280
00:07:00,771 --> 00:07:02,011
THEY GASP
281
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:19,731
Hi, Joanne.
282
00:07:20,851 --> 00:07:22,851
Hi, John.Hello, Alex.
LAUGHTER
283
00:07:22,891 --> 00:07:23,171
Hi, John.Hello, Alex.
LAUGHTER
284
00:07:23,211 --> 00:07:25,211
You're taking extreme measures
to keep the sun off your face.
285
00:07:25,251 --> 00:07:25,651
You're taking extreme measures
to keep the sun off your face.
286
00:07:25,691 --> 00:07:27,691
Yeah, I feel like I should be in
Gilead or something.
287
00:07:27,731 --> 00:07:28,331
Yeah, I feel like I should be in
Gilead or something.
288
00:07:28,371 --> 00:07:30,371
Feel like I'm in Handmaiden's Tale.
289
00:07:30,411 --> 00:07:31,131
Feel like I'm in Handmaiden's Tale.
290
00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,411
Hey, Alex. Hello, Nick.
LAUGHTER
291
00:07:34,451 --> 00:07:34,691
Hey, Alex. Hello, Nick.
LAUGHTER
292
00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:36,411
How are ya? Wowsers.
293
00:07:37,731 --> 00:07:39,731
Work out who is following you.
294
00:07:39,771 --> 00:07:40,371
Work out who is following you.
295
00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:42,411
Oh! Oh, gosh. Work out who is
following you.
296
00:07:42,451 --> 00:07:44,451
Oh! Oh, gosh. Work out who is
following you.
297
00:07:44,491 --> 00:07:44,811
Oh! Oh, gosh. Work out who is
following you.
298
00:07:44,851 --> 00:07:46,851
You must stare at the duck at all
times.
299
00:07:46,891 --> 00:07:47,891
You must stare at the duck at all
times.
300
00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:49,011
Yes.
301
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,011
And take an average-length step
302
00:07:51,051 --> 00:07:53,051
towards the duck every time it
quacks.
303
00:07:53,091 --> 00:07:53,371
towards the duck every time it
quacks.
304
00:07:53,411 --> 00:07:55,411
If the person following you agrees
with you,
305
00:07:55,451 --> 00:07:56,091
If the person following you agrees
with you,
306
00:07:56,131 --> 00:07:58,131
they will say the
name of a mammal.
307
00:07:58,171 --> 00:07:58,611
they will say the
name of a mammal.
308
00:07:58,651 --> 00:08:00,651
{\an8}If the person following you
disagrees with you,
309
00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:01,611
{\an8}If the person following you
disagrees with you,
310
00:08:01,651 --> 00:08:03,651
they will say the
name of a bird.
311
00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:03,971
they will say the
name of a bird.
312
00:08:04,011 --> 00:08:05,891
If the person following you doesn't
know
313
00:08:05,931 --> 00:08:07,931
if they agree or disagree with you,
they will say
314
00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,971
the name of an
amphibian, of course.
315
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:10,251
the name of an
amphibian, of course.
316
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:12,291
I've very little animal experience.
317
00:08:12,331 --> 00:08:12,931
I've very little animal experience.
318
00:08:12,971 --> 00:08:14,851
Why have you got so little animal
experience?
319
00:08:14,891 --> 00:08:16,891
Cos I didn't study zoology. I
don't know what an amphibian is.
320
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:17,491
Cos I didn't study zoology. I
don't know what an amphibian is.
321
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,531
Right.The correct answer
furthest from the duck wins.
322
00:08:19,571 --> 00:08:20,891
Right.The correct answer
furthest from the duck wins.
323
00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:22,931
Your time starts when the duck
quacks.
324
00:08:22,971 --> 00:08:23,891
Your time starts when the duck
quacks.
325
00:08:23,931 --> 00:08:25,931
When I say "now", press the green
button.OK.
326
00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,051
When I say "now", press the green
button.OK.
327
00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,691
{\an8}I'm going to release the follower.
328
00:08:28,731 --> 00:08:30,611
{\an8}You need to keep looking
at the duck.All right.
329
00:08:32,931 --> 00:08:34,931
OK, Steve. You may press the green
button.
330
00:08:34,971 --> 00:08:35,731
OK, Steve. You may press the green
button.
331
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,691
{\an8}Oh! I'm so sorry.
LAUGHTER
332
00:08:39,731 --> 00:08:40,331
{\an8}Oh! I'm so sorry.
LAUGHTER
333
00:08:40,371 --> 00:08:42,011
Oh, my goodness.
334
00:08:42,051 --> 00:08:43,931
Argh! No, don't...don't start yet.
335
00:08:45,131 --> 00:08:47,131
Ow. Are you OK?Yes.
336
00:08:47,171 --> 00:08:47,891
Ow. Are you OK?Yes.
337
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,731
Joanne, tell me about your
lack of experience with animals.
338
00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:54,371
Joanne, tell me about your
lack of experience with animals.
339
00:08:54,411 --> 00:08:56,411
Isn't that terrible? I don't know
what an amphibian is. Yeah.
340
00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:56,851
Isn't that terrible? I don't know
what an amphibian is. Yeah.
341
00:08:56,891 --> 00:08:58,891
What is it? Like a fishy...
342
00:08:58,931 --> 00:08:59,131
What is it? Like a fishy...
343
00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:00,771
Like a...You don't know either!
344
00:09:00,811 --> 00:09:02,371
Is it like a lizard?An amphibian
345
00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:04,411
has an aquatic, gill-breathing
larval stage,
346
00:09:04,451 --> 00:09:04,691
has an aquatic, gill-breathing
larval stage,
347
00:09:04,731 --> 00:09:05,651
followed by, typically,
348
00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:07,531
a terrestrial lung-breathing adult
stage.
349
00:09:07,571 --> 00:09:08,691
Huh! Yes, OK.
350
00:09:08,731 --> 00:09:10,731
Newts, salamanders and, obviously,
caecilians. Love them.
351
00:09:10,771 --> 00:09:12,291
Newts, salamanders and, obviously,
caecilians. Love them.
352
00:09:14,251 --> 00:09:16,251
Let's go. We begin with keen golfer
John Robins
353
00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:16,971
Let's go. We begin with keen golfer
John Robins
354
00:09:17,011 --> 00:09:19,011
being chased by a keen golf trolley.
355
00:09:19,051 --> 00:09:19,211
being chased by a keen golf trolley.
356
00:09:21,651 --> 00:09:22,931
Wait for the quack.
357
00:09:25,571 --> 00:09:27,531
QUACK
Are you a man?
358
00:09:27,571 --> 00:09:29,571
Badger. Are you a sportsman?
359
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,051
Badger. Are you a sportsman?
360
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,171
Crane.
361
00:09:31,211 --> 00:09:32,931
Are you a actor?
362
00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:34,371
Kiwi.
363
00:09:34,411 --> 00:09:36,411
Are you a politician?
364
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:36,731
Are you a politician?
365
00:09:36,771 --> 00:09:37,931
Turtle dove.
366
00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:39,131
Are you famous?
367
00:09:39,171 --> 00:09:40,531
Wildebeest.
368
00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:41,851
Are you a chef?
369
00:09:43,011 --> 00:09:44,091
Common ostrich.
370
00:09:45,171 --> 00:09:46,731
I don't know what...
Are you a comedian?
371
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:48,971
Ruddy duck.
372
00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:50,811
Are you...Are you human?
373
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:51,891
Typical pigeon.
374
00:09:53,571 --> 00:09:55,571
{\an8}Are you a male...?
Are you an animal?
375
00:09:55,611 --> 00:09:55,851
{\an8}Are you a male...?
Are you an animal?
376
00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:56,771
{\an8}Yellow hammer.
377
00:09:56,811 --> 00:09:57,971
{\an8}Are you a robot?
378
00:09:58,011 --> 00:09:59,811
{\an8}Gouldian finch.
379
00:09:59,851 --> 00:10:01,851
So you're... Ah, hang on.
380
00:10:01,891 --> 00:10:02,091
So you're... Ah, hang on.
381
00:10:02,131 --> 00:10:04,131
You're male, but you're not human.
382
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:04,371
You're male, but you're not human.
383
00:10:04,411 --> 00:10:06,011
And you're not an animal.
384
00:10:06,051 --> 00:10:08,051
{\an8}Are you some kind of connection
for like a...?
385
00:10:08,091 --> 00:10:08,891
{\an8}Are you some kind of connection
for like a...?
386
00:10:08,931 --> 00:10:10,931
{\an8}Are you a cable?
LAUGHTER
387
00:10:10,971 --> 00:10:11,251
{\an8}Are you a cable?
LAUGHTER
388
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:13,291
{\an8}Short-toed treecreeper.
389
00:10:13,331 --> 00:10:13,731
{\an8}Short-toed treecreeper.
390
00:10:13,771 --> 00:10:15,771
Uh... Does your name begin with A?
391
00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:17,051
Uh... Does your name begin with A?
392
00:10:18,171 --> 00:10:19,171
{\an8}Emu.
393
00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:20,371
{\an8}Does your name begin with B?
394
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,731
{\an8}Olive baboon.
395
00:10:22,811 --> 00:10:24,331
And you're not hu...
396
00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:26,291
Are you a human?
397
00:10:26,331 --> 00:10:28,331
Californian condor.
398
00:10:28,371 --> 00:10:30,011
Do you have genitals?
399
00:10:30,051 --> 00:10:31,531
Holy cross frog.
400
00:10:31,571 --> 00:10:33,531
That's ambiguous.
401
00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:35,251
How is that ambiguous?
402
00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:36,411
Is the second letter
403
00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:37,451
of your name an R?
404
00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:38,491
Grey parrot.
405
00:10:38,531 --> 00:10:39,531
An L?
406
00:10:39,571 --> 00:10:40,651
Capybara.
407
00:10:40,691 --> 00:10:42,171
Uh...
408
00:10:42,211 --> 00:10:44,211
Is the third letter a vowel?
409
00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:44,531
Is the third letter a vowel?
410
00:10:44,571 --> 00:10:46,571
Malayan tapir.
411
00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:46,811
Malayan tapir.
412
00:10:46,851 --> 00:10:47,731
Is it A?
413
00:10:47,771 --> 00:10:48,851
Golden pheasant.
414
00:10:48,891 --> 00:10:50,451
{\an8}Is it E? Is it I?
415
00:10:50,491 --> 00:10:51,491
{\an8}O?
416
00:10:51,531 --> 00:10:52,531
{\an8}Pygmy hippopotamus.
417
00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:54,331
OK so B-L-O.
418
00:10:56,371 --> 00:10:58,171
Are you Mr Blobby?
419
00:10:58,211 --> 00:10:59,771
Bactrian camel.
420
00:10:59,811 --> 00:11:01,291
Yeah, so you're Mr Blobby.
421
00:11:01,331 --> 00:11:02,571
You may have a look.
422
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,731
Fucking hell. Not bad!
423
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:11,331
Fucking hell. Not bad!
424
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,371
APPLAUSE
425
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,411
Come on, you. Let's get you home.
426
00:11:15,451 --> 00:11:15,771
Come on, you. Let's get you home.
427
00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:19,611
Well done, John.
428
00:11:19,651 --> 00:11:21,651
Well, I guess we should briefly
discuss, "Are you a cable?"
429
00:11:21,691 --> 00:11:22,051
Well, I guess we should briefly
discuss, "Are you a cable?"
430
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,451
Cable is surely the only thing
that's not human that has a gender.
431
00:11:26,491 --> 00:11:28,251
Cable is surely the only thing
that's not human that has a gender.
432
00:11:28,291 --> 00:11:30,291
Oh.Like, male-to-female connections.
Oh, I see! OK.Oh, wow.
433
00:11:30,331 --> 00:11:31,611
Oh.Like, male-to-female connections.
Oh, I see! OK.Oh, wow.
434
00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,651
So I thought it might be a
scart lead.
435
00:11:33,691 --> 00:11:33,891
So I thought it might be a
scart lead.
436
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,571
Well, you got there. He was 19 paces
from the duck.
437
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:40,691
Well, you got there. He was 19 paces
from the duck.
438
00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:42,731
OK. Let's see how Steve and Joanne
got on with,
439
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:43,171
OK. Let's see how Steve and Joanne
got on with,
440
00:11:43,211 --> 00:11:45,131
to quote Joanne from episode one,
441
00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,171
"The best physical comedian
of our generation."
442
00:11:47,211 --> 00:11:47,611
"The best physical comedian
of our generation."
443
00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:51,051
QUACK
Jesus Christ!
444
00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:51,291
QUACK
Jesus Christ!
445
00:11:52,251 --> 00:11:54,291
QUACK
446
00:11:54,331 --> 00:11:56,331
{\an8}Hey, it's good being
a man, isn't it?
447
00:11:56,371 --> 00:11:56,611
{\an8}Hey, it's good being
a man, isn't it?
448
00:11:56,651 --> 00:11:57,531
{\an8}Badger.
449
00:11:57,571 --> 00:11:58,811
Are you a human?
450
00:11:58,851 --> 00:11:59,851
Kiwi.
451
00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:00,891
{\an8}Is a kiwi a mammal?
452
00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:02,171
{\an8}What the fuck is a kiwi?
453
00:12:02,211 --> 00:12:04,211
{\an8}LAUGHTER
Keep stepping, Joanne.
454
00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:04,491
{\an8}LAUGHTER
Keep stepping, Joanne.
455
00:12:04,531 --> 00:12:05,411
{\an8}So reading the news,
456
00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:06,451
{\an8}do you enjoy that?
457
00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:07,971
{\an8}Vulturine guinea fowl.
458
00:12:08,011 --> 00:12:09,211
{\an8}Another step please, Steve.
459
00:12:09,251 --> 00:12:10,931
{\an8}OK. Every quack.
460
00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:12,971
Are you...food?
461
00:12:13,011 --> 00:12:13,411
Are you...food?
462
00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:14,691
Glaucous gull.
463
00:12:14,731 --> 00:12:16,291
Are you a famous thing?
464
00:12:16,331 --> 00:12:17,411
Badger.
465
00:12:17,451 --> 00:12:19,451
Are you the Eiffel Tower, like,
something like that?
466
00:12:19,491 --> 00:12:20,251
Are you the Eiffel Tower, like,
something like that?
467
00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:21,571
Tawny frogmouth.
468
00:12:23,371 --> 00:12:25,011
What else is there?
469
00:12:25,051 --> 00:12:27,051
Being operated by another human
is tough, right?
470
00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,011
Being operated by another human
is tough, right?
471
00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,051
Hairy-eared dwarf lemur.
472
00:12:30,091 --> 00:12:30,291
Hairy-eared dwarf lemur.
473
00:12:30,331 --> 00:12:32,331
{\an8}Can I get inside you?
474
00:12:32,371 --> 00:12:32,571
{\an8}Can I get inside you?
475
00:12:32,611 --> 00:12:34,611
{\an8}LAUGHTER
476
00:12:34,651 --> 00:12:34,851
{\an8}LAUGHTER
477
00:12:34,891 --> 00:12:35,811
Aardvark.
478
00:12:38,371 --> 00:12:40,211
Are you a glove puppet?
479
00:12:40,251 --> 00:12:41,291
Gouldian finch.
480
00:12:41,331 --> 00:12:42,651
{\an8}Are you some kind of
481
00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:44,291
{\an8}children's TV character?
482
00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,331
{\an8}QUACK
Pygmy jerboa. A jerboa!
483
00:12:46,371 --> 00:12:46,651
{\an8}QUACK
Pygmy jerboa. A jerboa!
484
00:12:46,691 --> 00:12:48,691
Please step.
LAUGHTER
485
00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:48,971
Please step.
LAUGHTER
486
00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:50,251
Do you have a one-word name?
487
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:51,411
Northern shoveler.
488
00:12:51,451 --> 00:12:53,451
Oh! Is it Mr something?
489
00:12:53,491 --> 00:12:53,691
Oh! Is it Mr something?
490
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,491
Rondo dwarf bushbaby.
491
00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:57,011
OK, Mr something.
492
00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:59,051
{\an8}Have I met you? Have I been in you?
493
00:12:59,091 --> 00:12:59,291
{\an8}Have I met you? Have I been in you?
494
00:12:59,331 --> 00:13:01,211
{\an8}Common midwife toad.
495
00:13:01,251 --> 00:13:02,291
What's that?
496
00:13:02,331 --> 00:13:04,331
We don't know if you've met him
or her.
497
00:13:04,371 --> 00:13:04,811
We don't know if you've met him
or her.
498
00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,531
{\an8}Has it been on telly?
499
00:13:06,571 --> 00:13:07,771
{\an8}Olive baboon.
500
00:13:10,371 --> 00:13:11,931
{\an8}Are you Mr Blobby?
501
00:13:11,971 --> 00:13:13,811
{\an8}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS
Donkey.
502
00:13:13,851 --> 00:13:15,771
What's that?
QUACK
503
00:13:15,811 --> 00:13:17,091
Amphibian?
504
00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:18,491
LAUGHTER
Does that mean they don't know
505
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:19,571
if they're Mr Blobby?
506
00:13:21,171 --> 00:13:23,051
{\an8}QUACK
Sorry, her replies are more
507
00:13:23,091 --> 00:13:25,091
{\an8}confusing than anything else.
508
00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:25,491
{\an8}confusing than anything else.
509
00:13:25,531 --> 00:13:27,531
Is it B, C, D, F, G, H?
510
00:13:27,571 --> 00:13:28,691
Is it B, C, D, F, G, H?
511
00:13:28,731 --> 00:13:30,011
Eurasian lynx.
512
00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:31,131
Is it B, C?
513
00:13:31,171 --> 00:13:32,371
Etruscan shrew.
514
00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:33,851
So it's... Is it B?
515
00:13:33,891 --> 00:13:35,091
Slender loris.
516
00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:37,131
Mr B. Mr Bojangles.
517
00:13:37,171 --> 00:13:37,371
Mr B. Mr Bojangles.
518
00:13:37,411 --> 00:13:38,691
Are you Mr Blobby?
519
00:13:38,731 --> 00:13:40,731
Bengal tiger.
QUACK
520
00:13:40,771 --> 00:13:42,771
That's a tiger.
QUACK
521
00:13:42,811 --> 00:13:43,051
That's a tiger.
QUACK
522
00:13:43,091 --> 00:13:44,651
Agrees.
523
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,691
{\an8}Mr...Blobby!
524
00:13:46,731 --> 00:13:47,491
{\an8}Mr...Blobby!
525
00:13:47,531 --> 00:13:49,531
Exotic Shorthair cat.
QUACK
526
00:13:49,571 --> 00:13:50,011
Exotic Shorthair cat.
QUACK
527
00:13:51,851 --> 00:13:53,851
I'm stopping there cos I think
I'm right.
528
00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:54,131
I'm stopping there cos I think
I'm right.
529
00:13:54,171 --> 00:13:56,171
So you ARE Mr Blobby. Fuck off!
530
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:56,411
So you ARE Mr Blobby. Fuck off!
531
00:13:56,451 --> 00:13:57,851
Ah! Oh, my God!
532
00:14:00,251 --> 00:14:01,651
Come on, Blob.
533
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:08,211
I don't want him.It's coming for
you, baby.
534
00:14:12,211 --> 00:14:14,171
LAUGHTER
535
00:14:19,211 --> 00:14:20,571
Well, Steve.
536
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,611
If someone said Mr B, I wouldn't have
gone Bojangles.
537
00:14:22,651 --> 00:14:23,891
If someone said Mr B, I wouldn't have
gone Bojangles.
538
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,931
Hearing the quacks with the
Handmaid's Tale bonnet on,
539
00:14:25,971 --> 00:14:27,011
Hearing the quacks with the
Handmaid's Tale bonnet on,
540
00:14:27,051 --> 00:14:29,051
thinking about statements that had
to be not questions,
541
00:14:29,091 --> 00:14:30,651
thinking about statements that had
to be not questions,
542
00:14:30,691 --> 00:14:32,691
being chased by Mr fucking Blobby...
LAUGHTER
543
00:14:32,731 --> 00:14:33,971
being chased by Mr fucking Blobby...
LAUGHTER
544
00:14:34,011 --> 00:14:36,011
That is his first name.
..who kept hitting you.
545
00:14:36,051 --> 00:14:36,331
That is his first name.
..who kept hitting you.
546
00:14:36,371 --> 00:14:38,371
So like John, I only came up with
the sort of alphabet thing
547
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,371
So like John, I only came up with
the sort of alphabet thing
548
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,411
when the duck was pretty close.
15 paces from the duck.
549
00:14:41,451 --> 00:14:42,571
when the duck was pretty close.
15 paces from the duck.
550
00:14:42,611 --> 00:14:44,611
Joanne.Yeah. It's quite the
contrast to
551
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,051
Joanne.Yeah. It's quite the
contrast to
552
00:14:45,091 --> 00:14:47,091
the forensic things we've seen
so far.Uh-huh.
553
00:14:47,131 --> 00:14:48,171
the forensic things we've seen
so far.Uh-huh.
554
00:14:48,211 --> 00:14:50,211
Uh, "Is a kiwi a mammal?"
555
00:14:50,251 --> 00:14:51,131
Uh, "Is a kiwi a mammal?"
556
00:14:51,171 --> 00:14:53,171
Pause. "What's a fucking kiwi?"
557
00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:53,891
Pause. "What's a fucking kiwi?"
558
00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:55,171
LAUGHTER
559
00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:57,211
And then you went,
"If you're not human,
560
00:14:57,251 --> 00:14:58,051
And then you went,
"If you're not human,
561
00:14:58,091 --> 00:15:00,091
"you must be the Eiffel Tower."
The Eiffel Tower.
562
00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:01,371
"you must be the Eiffel Tower."
The Eiffel Tower.
563
00:15:02,891 --> 00:15:04,891
Then your next question was,
564
00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:05,131
Then your next question was,
565
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,171
"Can I get inside you?"Yeah.
566
00:15:07,211 --> 00:15:07,691
"Can I get inside you?"Yeah.
567
00:15:07,731 --> 00:15:09,731
So I'm thinking, "Is it a building?"
Ah!"Can I step inside you?"
568
00:15:09,771 --> 00:15:11,771
So I'm thinking, "Is it a building?"
Ah!"Can I step inside you?"
569
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:12,691
So I'm thinking, "Is it a building?"
Ah!"Can I step inside you?"
570
00:15:12,731 --> 00:15:14,731
Not, "Can I, like, penetrate you?"
Oh, right. Yeah.
571
00:15:14,771 --> 00:15:15,571
Not, "Can I, like, penetrate you?"
Oh, right. Yeah.
572
00:15:15,611 --> 00:15:17,491
But you were kind of hurling out
just objects.
573
00:15:17,531 --> 00:15:19,531
And then, suddenly - Blobby. Yeah.
574
00:15:19,571 --> 00:15:19,811
And then, suddenly - Blobby. Yeah.
575
00:15:19,851 --> 00:15:21,851
And that's because your go-to thing
is Blob.
576
00:15:21,891 --> 00:15:22,171
And that's because your go-to thing
is Blob.
577
00:15:22,211 --> 00:15:24,211
I genuinely am a really big
Mr Blobby fan.
578
00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:24,531
I genuinely am a really big
Mr Blobby fan.
579
00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:26,371
Think he's amazing. I tried to buy
his outfit.
580
00:15:26,411 --> 00:15:28,011
Do you remember he went on sale?
Yeah!
581
00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:30,051
I mean, the woman's Blobby-obsessed!
582
00:15:30,091 --> 00:15:30,531
I mean, the woman's Blobby-obsessed!
583
00:15:30,571 --> 00:15:32,571
And it really helped. She got to
the correct answer
584
00:15:32,611 --> 00:15:32,851
And it really helped. She got to
the correct answer
585
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,171
much before the other two.
586
00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:36,211
She got 26 steps away from the duck,
587
00:15:36,251 --> 00:15:36,491
She got 26 steps away from the duck,
588
00:15:36,531 --> 00:15:38,531
and that was after not believing it
was Blobby. She carried on
589
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:38,851
and that was after not believing it
was Blobby. She carried on
590
00:15:38,891 --> 00:15:40,891
stepping for quite a while after
getting the correct answer.
591
00:15:40,931 --> 00:15:41,251
stepping for quite a while after
getting the correct answer.
592
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:43,291
And she was overjoyed when she
turned around and saw her hero.
593
00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:43,931
And she was overjoyed when she
turned around and saw her hero.
594
00:15:43,971 --> 00:15:45,971
Right.So, yeah, at the moment,
it's Joanne, then John, then Steve.
595
00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,051
Right.So, yeah, at the moment,
it's Joanne, then John, then Steve.
596
00:15:47,091 --> 00:15:48,411
All right, advert time now.
597
00:15:48,451 --> 00:15:50,451
Hopefully, one of them will make
health claims for
598
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:50,971
Hopefully, one of them will make
health claims for
599
00:15:51,011 --> 00:15:53,011
a food that they know full well
is pumped full of sugar.
600
00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:54,211
a food that they know full well
is pumped full of sugar.
601
00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:55,651
See you in a minute.
602
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,130
Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster.
603
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:08,210
Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster.
604
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,250
What were our contestants doing in
a field, young man?
605
00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:11,050
What were our contestants doing in
a field, young man?
606
00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,090
Well, it's a fine question.
They were trying to work out
607
00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:13,410
Well, it's a fine question.
They were trying to work out
608
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,450
who's following them on an
automatic golf trolley, Greg.
609
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:15,930
who's following them on an
automatic golf trolley, Greg.
610
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:17,690
They can ask questions or make
statements.
611
00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:19,730
If the person agrees, they'll hear
a mammal in response.
612
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,010
If the person agrees, they'll hear
a mammal in response.
613
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:21,050
If they disagree, it's a bird.
614
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:23,090
And if it's ambiguous, they'll hear
an amphibian
615
00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:25,130
because it sounds a little bit like
ambiguous.
LAUGHTER
616
00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:25,490
because it sounds a little bit like
ambiguous.
LAUGHTER
617
00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:27,530
Finally, how long will it take
Nick and Sophie to work out that
618
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,010
Finally, how long will it take
Nick and Sophie to work out that
619
00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:30,050
Mr Blobby's following them?
Here we go.
620
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:30,890
Mr Blobby's following them?
Here we go.
621
00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:32,930
QUACK
Erm...
622
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:33,450
QUACK
Erm...
623
00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:35,090
Have you got blonde hair?
624
00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:37,130
{\an8}Kiwi. Kiwi?!
625
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:37,530
{\an8}Kiwi. Kiwi?!
626
00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:39,570
{\an8}That's a fruit!
LAUGHTER
627
00:16:39,610 --> 00:16:40,050
{\an8}That's a fruit!
LAUGHTER
628
00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,090
Are you, uh, human?
629
00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:43,410
Are you, uh, human?
630
00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:44,890
Kiwi.
631
00:16:44,930 --> 00:16:46,930
Are you smaller than a large tree?
632
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:47,570
Are you smaller than a large tree?
633
00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:48,690
Donkey.
634
00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,090
{\an8}Are we friends from school?
635
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,130
{\an8}LAUGHTER
No, no, no, cos it's...
636
00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:52,970
{\an8}LAUGHTER
No, no, no, cos it's...
637
00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:55,010
Did I meet you in the last five
years?
638
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:55,290
Did I meet you in the last five
years?
639
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,210
Common midwife toad.
640
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,250
Ugh! Do you have four legs?
641
00:16:59,290 --> 00:16:59,490
Ugh! Do you have four legs?
642
00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:01,450
Californian condor.
643
00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:02,810
Do you have two legs?
644
00:17:02,850 --> 00:17:04,170
Bengal tiger.
645
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:05,890
Are you over 30?
646
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:07,930
Donkey. OK.
647
00:17:07,970 --> 00:17:08,330
Donkey. OK.
648
00:17:08,370 --> 00:17:10,370
Have you used an Excel sheet?
649
00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:10,850
Have you used an Excel sheet?
650
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:12,890
LAUGHTER
651
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,290
Glaucous gull.
652
00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:16,010
Are you on TV?
653
00:17:16,050 --> 00:17:17,490
Pygmy jerboa.
654
00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,370
Are you on BBC?
655
00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:20,810
Capybara.
656
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,850
Oh, no. This duck's approaching.
657
00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:24,890
Have we ever been drunk together?
LAUGHTER
658
00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:26,410
Have we ever been drunk together?
LAUGHTER
659
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:28,290
Common mudpuppy.
660
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:30,330
{\an8}That means, yeah, I think.
Doesn't it?
661
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:31,250
{\an8}That means, yeah, I think.
Doesn't it?
662
00:17:31,290 --> 00:17:33,130
Oh, I can't wait... If you get to
the duck,
663
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:35,090
you can just keep sort of pacing at
the duck
664
00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,770
and we'll just do it on time instead.
665
00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:37,810
Uh, British?
666
00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,290
Pygmy hippopotamus.
667
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:40,570
Oh, you ARE British.
668
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:41,810
Are you an athlete?
669
00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:42,890
Northern shoveler.
670
00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:44,410
Are you a cartoon character?
671
00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:45,810
Are you a big grasshopper?
672
00:17:45,850 --> 00:17:47,690
Are you a mascot of some kind?
673
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,730
Are you on the box of any kind
of food-related stuff?
674
00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:50,930
Are you on the box of any kind
of food-related stuff?
675
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,290
Is it Alex?
676
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:54,370
LAUGHTER
All right. Erm, yeah.
677
00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:56,410
I think you're just going to stay
here with the duck.Am I? Oh, right.
OK.
678
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,690
I think you're just going to stay
here with the duck.Am I? Oh, right.
OK.
679
00:17:57,730 --> 00:17:59,730
Are you on a particular time
of day? Mid-afternoon?
680
00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:00,330
Are you on a particular time
of day? Mid-afternoon?
681
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,490
Crane.
682
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:02,530
Early evening?
683
00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:04,610
Possum.
684
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,010
QUACK
OK.
685
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,050
Right. So I can take the duck where
I want?
686
00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:08,690
Right. So I can take the duck where
I want?
687
00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:10,410
{\an8}If you want, yeah.Oh! Oh!
688
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:12,450
{\an8}I'm so sorry, I saw him.
LAUGHTER
689
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:12,730
{\an8}I'm so sorry, I saw him.
LAUGHTER
690
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:14,210
I saw him!
691
00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,250
QUACK
It's Mr Blobby!
692
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:16,530
QUACK
It's Mr Blobby!
693
00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:18,130
Pygmy jerboa.
694
00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:19,810
You're welcome to say hello
to Mr Blobby.
695
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,850
Yeah, thank you. God!
696
00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:22,130
Yeah, thank you. God!
697
00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:24,130
{\an8}BBC, larger than a human
698
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,170
{\an8}but smaller than a large tree,
699
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:26,650
{\an8}but smaller than a large tree,
700
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,690
{\an8}walks on two legs.
DUCK QUACKS
701
00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:28,930
{\an8}walks on two legs.
DUCK QUACKS
702
00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:33,770
{\an8}On BBC One?
LAUGHTER
703
00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:34,450
{\an8}On BBC One?
LAUGHTER
704
00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:37,610
Pangolin.
705
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,010
{\an8}OK.
706
00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,050
{\an8}What's on at that time?
707
00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:46,290
{\an8}What's on at that time?
708
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:47,610
{\an8}Mr Blobby?
709
00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:48,890
{\an8}CHEERING
710
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,930
{\an8}Pink fairy armadillo.
711
00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:51,890
{\an8}Pink fairy armadillo.
712
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,930
{\an8}Yaaaaaay!
713
00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:54,810
{\an8}Yaaaaaay!
714
00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:01,410
I mean, the question I've got,
Nick, is that you asked every
715
00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:02,410
I mean, the question I've got,
Nick, is that you asked every
716
00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,450
question about every subject ever...
Yes. ..before you arrived at Blobby.
717
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,450
question about every subject ever...
Yes. ..before you arrived at Blobby.
718
00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:08,490
Yeah, that was, I mean, just
to do it by process of elimination.
719
00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:09,050
Yeah, that was, I mean, just
to do it by process of elimination.
720
00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:10,330
I guess that's what that was.
721
00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:12,010
By eliminating everything in
the world?
722
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:14,050
In the world. In the universe.
Yeah, yeah.
723
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:14,570
In the world. In the universe.
Yeah, yeah.
724
00:19:14,610 --> 00:19:16,290
I like the question,
725
00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:18,330
"Are you smaller than a large tree?"
726
00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:18,850
"Are you smaller than a large tree?"
727
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,370
Cos how tall's a tree? A tree can
be various sizes. Wow.
728
00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:23,810
Cos how tall's a tree? A tree can
be various sizes. Wow.
729
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:25,850
I mean, one of the great
philosophical questions of our time.
730
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,650
I mean, one of the great
philosophical questions of our time.
731
00:19:27,690 --> 00:19:29,690
How large is large? How large
IS large?
732
00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:30,530
How large is large? How large
IS large?
733
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,570
This is large.You're larger than
me, yeah.
LAUGHTER
734
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:33,130
This is large.You're larger than
me, yeah.
LAUGHTER
735
00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:34,570
Small.Yeah.
736
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,050
Was there a logic
to Sophie's questions?
737
00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:38,450
Was there a logic
to Sophie's questions?
738
00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:42,450
I've written some down.
739
00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:42,730
I've written some down.
740
00:19:42,770 --> 00:19:44,410
"Have I met you
in the last five years?"
741
00:19:46,290 --> 00:19:48,170
"Have I got drunk with you?"
742
00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:50,210
"Have you used an Excel sheet?"
743
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,410
"Have you used an Excel sheet?"
744
00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,570
I mean, you literally sound like
a dropped Alexa.
745
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,410
I mean, you literally sound like
a dropped Alexa.
746
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,610
I just thought you were going to
do something
747
00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:01,650
a bit like Surprise Surprise.
I thought you were going to...
748
00:20:01,690 --> 00:20:02,330
a bit like Surprise Surprise.
I thought you were going to...
749
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,370
I thought it could've been my mate
Amy, to be honest. Right.
750
00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,890
I thought it could've been my mate
Amy, to be honest. Right.
751
00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:07,930
I was really thinking she was
going to pop out. Yeah.
752
00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:08,290
I was really thinking she was
going to pop out. Yeah.
753
00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:10,330
And that we'd mounted her on a
golf trolley?Yeah.
LAUGHTER
754
00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:11,170
And that we'd mounted her on a
golf trolley?Yeah.
LAUGHTER
755
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,170
Obviously, Sophie can't have
a point, can she?
756
00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:15,130
Cos she saw Blobby.
AUDIENCE:Aw!
757
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,370
I know. Terrible, actually.
758
00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,410
Tough shit.
LAUGHTER
759
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:18,690
Tough shit.
LAUGHTER
760
00:20:18,730 --> 00:20:20,050
Shall we give out the points? Yes.
761
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:22,090
Well, it's Sophie, unfortunately,
zero.
762
00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:22,410
Well, it's Sophie, unfortunately,
zero.
763
00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:24,090
Two points to Nick, three to Steve,
four to John.
764
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:25,650
But the winner, the future
Mrs Blobby,
765
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,410
is Joanne McNally! Whoa!
766
00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:28,410
CHEERING
767
00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,650
May I see a scoreboard, please?
768
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,690
At the bottom, and it's been typical
of the series so far,
769
00:20:34,730 --> 00:20:35,010
At the bottom, and it's been typical
of the series so far,
770
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,850
we've got Sophie and Nick with
three points.
771
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:38,890
At the top, it's John
and Joanne, both with nine points.
772
00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:39,130
At the top, it's John
and Joanne, both with nine points.
773
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:45,530
Good. What's next?
774
00:20:45,570 --> 00:20:47,090
Ooh! Oh, no.
775
00:20:47,130 --> 00:20:49,130
It's childcare.
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
776
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:49,730
It's childcare.
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
777
00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:53,610
BABY CRIES
778
00:20:53,650 --> 00:20:54,490
BABY CRIES
779
00:21:00,090 --> 00:21:02,090
Hi. Hi, and congratulations.
780
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,490
Hi. Hi, and congratulations.
781
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,530
Thank you. This takes me back.
782
00:21:05,570 --> 00:21:05,930
Thank you. This takes me back.
783
00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,730
Have you worn one of them before?
784
00:21:08,770 --> 00:21:10,770
Well, in my head it's a bulletproof
vest.
785
00:21:10,810 --> 00:21:11,570
Well, in my head it's a bulletproof
vest.
786
00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:13,610
And I am Detective Robins, homicide.
787
00:21:13,650 --> 00:21:14,330
And I am Detective Robins, homicide.
788
00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:16,370
Oh, hi, Joanne.What's going on?
789
00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:17,010
Oh, hi, Joanne.What's going on?
790
00:21:17,050 --> 00:21:18,410
You've got to look after a baby.
791
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:21,570
{\an8}What is it?
792
00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:23,610
I'll pop her or him in.
I can't remember the gender.
793
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,650
I'll pop her or him in.
I can't remember the gender.
794
00:21:24,690 --> 00:21:25,850
Oh, God.
795
00:21:25,890 --> 00:21:27,610
Ah!
796
00:21:27,650 --> 00:21:29,650
{\an8}There we go. Nothing to be
frightened of.
797
00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:30,450
{\an8}There we go. Nothing to be
frightened of.
798
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,490
This is actually quite comfortable.
Good.
799
00:21:32,530 --> 00:21:32,770
This is actually quite comfortable.
Good.
800
00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:34,210
Nice on the shoulders.
801
00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:37,410
{\an8}Complete the jobstacle course.
802
00:21:37,450 --> 00:21:38,330
{\an8}Complete the jobstacle course.
803
00:21:38,370 --> 00:21:40,370
Each job must completed to
a satisfactory-quality level.
804
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:42,370
Each job must completed to
a satisfactory-quality level.
805
00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:44,410
{\an8}The baby must remain in
the baby carrier at all times
806
00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:44,930
{\an8}The baby must remain in
the baby carrier at all times
807
00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,970
{\an8}except during nappy change.
Yes.Yes.
808
00:21:47,010 --> 00:21:47,770
{\an8}except during nappy change.
Yes.Yes.
809
00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:49,770
You must complete the jobstacle
course
810
00:21:49,810 --> 00:21:51,330
within eight minutes.
811
00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:53,370
The least baby spilled wins.
812
00:21:53,410 --> 00:21:53,810
The least baby spilled wins.
813
00:21:53,850 --> 00:21:55,650
I'd actually like to spill
a bit of it.
814
00:21:57,090 --> 00:21:59,090
LAUGHTER
We want a wet baby and a dry Steve.
815
00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:01,130
LAUGHTER
We want a wet baby and a dry Steve.
816
00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:02,090
LAUGHTER
We want a wet baby and a dry Steve.
817
00:22:02,130 --> 00:22:03,970
Your time starts when Alex blows
his whistle.
818
00:22:04,010 --> 00:22:05,930
WHISTLE BLOWS
Oh, God.
819
00:22:08,210 --> 00:22:10,210
Nick looks terrified of the baby.
820
00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,250
I've got three kids!
Have you really got three kids?
821
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:12,570
I've got three kids!
Have you really got three kids?
822
00:22:12,610 --> 00:22:14,610
Yeah, genuinely. It's weird,
isn't it? Yeah, I have, yeah. It is!
823
00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:15,930
Yeah, genuinely. It's weird,
isn't it? Yeah, I have, yeah. It is!
824
00:22:15,970 --> 00:22:17,690
Sorry, kids.
825
00:22:19,210 --> 00:22:21,210
Let's crack on.All right, then.
The first to look after
826
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,090
Let's crack on.All right, then.
The first to look after
827
00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:24,130
the big wet baby are
Joanne and Sophie.
828
00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:24,370
the big wet baby are
Joanne and Sophie.
829
00:22:25,370 --> 00:22:27,370
I think my approach is going to be
to glide.
830
00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:28,730
I think my approach is going to be
to glide.
831
00:22:28,770 --> 00:22:30,770
Swift, fast and smooth, like a swan.
Do the dishes.
832
00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:32,810
Swift, fast and smooth, like a swan.
Do the dishes.
833
00:22:32,850 --> 00:22:33,090
Swift, fast and smooth, like a swan.
Do the dishes.
834
00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:35,090
They're in the caravan.
835
00:22:35,130 --> 00:22:37,130
I am curious about motherhood,
so I think this'll be good for me.
836
00:22:37,170 --> 00:22:37,690
I am curious about motherhood,
so I think this'll be good for me.
837
00:22:37,730 --> 00:22:38,890
Yeah, this'll be a good test.
838
00:22:39,930 --> 00:22:41,210
Like a swan.
839
00:22:42,930 --> 00:22:44,930
Daddy Horne hanging
around outside doing fuck all.
840
00:22:44,970 --> 00:22:46,010
Daddy Horne hanging
around outside doing fuck all.
841
00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:48,050
LAUGHTER
842
00:22:48,090 --> 00:22:48,250
LAUGHTER
843
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:51,530
That's it. Done.
844
00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:54,570
Oh! That was unfortunate.
845
00:22:54,610 --> 00:22:54,770
Oh! That was unfortunate.
846
00:22:56,490 --> 00:22:57,930
Ah, now.
847
00:22:57,970 --> 00:22:59,890
Alex, pick up the basket.
848
00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:01,050
{\an8}I'll pick up the basket.
849
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,810
{\an8}And the thing... I can't pick up
the thing.
850
00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:07,410
Bend from the knees.
851
00:23:08,850 --> 00:23:10,010
Now.
852
00:23:13,570 --> 00:23:14,570
Oh, no.
853
00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:17,970
His shoes need cleaning now.
854
00:23:19,930 --> 00:23:21,770
Argh.
855
00:23:21,810 --> 00:23:23,810
The state of your shoes, Greg.
856
00:23:23,850 --> 00:23:25,850
I'm trying to raise a jug of water
here.
LAUGHTER
857
00:23:25,890 --> 00:23:26,810
I'm trying to raise a jug of water
here.
LAUGHTER
858
00:23:27,930 --> 00:23:29,930
There's a suffragette turning in her
grave somewhere.
LAUGHTER
859
00:23:29,970 --> 00:23:31,970
There's a suffragette turning in her
grave somewhere.
LAUGHTER
860
00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:32,290
There's a suffragette turning in her
grave somewhere.
LAUGHTER
861
00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:33,570
Oh, fabulous. Done.
862
00:23:34,770 --> 00:23:36,770
OK. Does your big wet baby have a
name?
863
00:23:36,810 --> 00:23:37,530
OK. Does your big wet baby have a
name?
864
00:23:37,570 --> 00:23:39,490
Juicy.
LAUGHTER
865
00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,290
Get in. Get in.
866
00:23:42,330 --> 00:23:43,770
This is why women breast-feed,
867
00:23:43,810 --> 00:23:45,210
cos this is a pain in the hole.
868
00:23:46,490 --> 00:23:48,490
Watch your own baby, yeah.
869
00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:48,770
Watch your own baby, yeah.
870
00:23:48,810 --> 00:23:50,810
Is the last one done?Yeah.
WHISTLE BLOWS
871
00:23:50,850 --> 00:23:51,290
Is the last one done?Yeah.
WHISTLE BLOWS
872
00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:53,330
Whack it in, whack it in.
WHISTLE BLOWS
873
00:23:53,370 --> 00:23:54,050
Whack it in, whack it in.
WHISTLE BLOWS
874
00:23:54,090 --> 00:23:55,170
Thank you.
875
00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:01,250
I think it's very impressive, Joanne,
for you to make points about
876
00:24:01,290 --> 00:24:02,250
I think it's very impressive, Joanne,
for you to make points about
877
00:24:02,290 --> 00:24:04,290
the patriarchy when you've got a
bucket of water strapped to you.
878
00:24:04,330 --> 00:24:05,250
the patriarchy when you've got a
bucket of water strapped to you.
879
00:24:05,290 --> 00:24:06,530
Any excuse.
880
00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,570
Can you tell me statistics about
who was the most effective parent?
881
00:24:08,610 --> 00:24:09,570
Can you tell me statistics about
who was the most effective parent?
882
00:24:09,610 --> 00:24:11,610
Sophie spilt a fifth of her baby,
883
00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:12,090
Sophie spilt a fifth of her baby,
884
00:24:12,130 --> 00:24:14,130
used some of the baby to
clean the shoes with. Ah!
885
00:24:14,170 --> 00:24:14,690
used some of the baby to
clean the shoes with. Ah!
886
00:24:15,770 --> 00:24:17,770
I spilt some out at the start.
Yeah. Cos I was like,
887
00:24:17,810 --> 00:24:18,170
I spilt some out at the start.
Yeah. Cos I was like,
888
00:24:18,210 --> 00:24:20,210
"That's going to go anyway.
I might as well get rid of it."
889
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:20,610
"That's going to go anyway.
I might as well get rid of it."
890
00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:22,650
Not stress it. Speed up. Yeah, you
only spilt a sixth of your baby,
891
00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:23,450
Not stress it. Speed up. Yeah, you
only spilt a sixth of your baby,
892
00:24:23,490 --> 00:24:25,290
so you are currently in the lead,
Joanne.
893
00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,330
Next up, it's two dads of three -
it's Nick and it's Steve.
894
00:24:27,370 --> 00:24:29,370
Next up, it's two dads of three -
it's Nick and it's Steve.
895
00:24:29,410 --> 00:24:30,450
Next up, it's two dads of three -
it's Nick and it's Steve.
896
00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:32,490
OK, let's do the shoes first.
897
00:24:32,530 --> 00:24:32,930
OK, let's do the shoes first.
898
00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:34,970
Oh, God. Right, here we go.
899
00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:35,410
Oh, God. Right, here we go.
900
00:24:35,450 --> 00:24:37,290
For... Oh, what am I going to clean
them with?
901
00:24:37,330 --> 00:24:39,330
Oh, I can't use the baby!
902
00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:39,610
Oh, I can't use the baby!
903
00:24:39,650 --> 00:24:40,930
Sorry, baby.
904
00:24:40,970 --> 00:24:42,930
Just... I'm patting the baby's head.
905
00:24:42,970 --> 00:24:44,970
Baby's fine, though. Argh!
Baby's fine.
906
00:24:45,010 --> 00:24:45,650
Baby's fine, though. Argh!
Baby's fine.
907
00:24:45,690 --> 00:24:47,690
You're not cleaning with
the baby at all, are you?
908
00:24:47,730 --> 00:24:48,130
You're not cleaning with
the baby at all, are you?
909
00:24:48,170 --> 00:24:50,170
A little bit of her went in the...in
the soapy water.
910
00:24:50,210 --> 00:24:50,930
A little bit of her went in the...in
the soapy water.
911
00:24:50,970 --> 00:24:52,970
# With rings on her fingers
912
00:24:53,010 --> 00:24:53,610
# With rings on her fingers
913
00:24:53,650 --> 00:24:55,650
# And bells on her toes... #
914
00:24:55,690 --> 00:24:56,170
# And bells on her toes... #
915
00:24:57,690 --> 00:24:59,690
Ooh.
LAUGHTER
916
00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:00,210
Ooh.
LAUGHTER
917
00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:01,570
I think your baby's been sick.
918
00:25:01,610 --> 00:25:03,610
Hang the laundry twixt the cow
and the caravan.
919
00:25:03,650 --> 00:25:05,090
Hang the laundry twixt the cow
and the caravan.
920
00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:07,130
Bit of baby spilt on your knee, then.
Yeah, but that...
921
00:25:07,170 --> 00:25:07,570
Bit of baby spilt on your knee, then.
Yeah, but that...
922
00:25:07,610 --> 00:25:09,610
A lot of... Oh.That's handy.
923
00:25:09,650 --> 00:25:09,890
A lot of... Oh.That's handy.
924
00:25:09,930 --> 00:25:11,930
I'm assuming I have to create my own
line, yeah?
925
00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:12,930
I'm assuming I have to create my own
line, yeah?
926
00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,970
To hang the... Sure, yeah.
..laundry.
927
00:25:15,010 --> 00:25:16,890
To hang the... Sure, yeah.
..laundry.
928
00:25:18,410 --> 00:25:20,250
# Ta-da-da-da. #
929
00:25:20,290 --> 00:25:22,290
There we go. Is that... Are you
satisfied with that? Well, yeah.
930
00:25:22,330 --> 00:25:23,330
There we go. Is that... Are you
satisfied with that? Well, yeah.
931
00:25:23,370 --> 00:25:25,370
Yeah? So, hang the laundry,
dust the carpet.
932
00:25:25,410 --> 00:25:26,490
Yeah? So, hang the laundry,
dust the carpet.
933
00:25:26,530 --> 00:25:28,530
Oh, was that dusting the carpet?
CACKLES
934
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,250
Oh, was that dusting the carpet?
CACKLES
935
00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:32,290
OK, best way to dust a carpet...
936
00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:32,810
OK, best way to dust a carpet...
937
00:25:35,170 --> 00:25:37,170
LAUGHTER
938
00:25:37,210 --> 00:25:37,370
LAUGHTER
939
00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:40,810
Satisfied?
940
00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:41,810
No.
941
00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:44,930
Oh, baby's not happy with this.
942
00:25:44,970 --> 00:25:45,130
Oh, baby's not happy with this.
943
00:25:46,410 --> 00:25:48,410
Are you...thirsty?
944
00:25:48,450 --> 00:25:48,650
Are you...thirsty?
945
00:25:48,690 --> 00:25:50,690
Oh, there we go.
946
00:25:50,730 --> 00:25:51,410
Oh, there we go.
947
00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:53,450
Now let's get that nap-nap changed.
948
00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:53,690
Now let's get that nap-nap changed.
949
00:25:53,730 --> 00:25:54,570
Ugh.
950
00:25:56,450 --> 00:25:58,170
She loves that.
951
00:25:58,210 --> 00:26:00,170
WHISTLE BLOWS
There you go. That's not bad.
952
00:26:00,210 --> 00:26:01,570
You've got three seconds left.
953
00:26:01,610 --> 00:26:03,610
Uh... Love you.
WHISTLE BLOWS
954
00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:04,250
Uh... Love you.
WHISTLE BLOWS
955
00:26:09,650 --> 00:26:11,650
Two actual fathers. And with
very contrasting approaches.
956
00:26:11,690 --> 00:26:13,690
Two actual fathers. And with
very contrasting approaches.
957
00:26:13,730 --> 00:26:15,530
Two actual fathers. And with
very contrasting approaches.
958
00:26:15,570 --> 00:26:17,570
Nick, you seemed a very cautious
and caring parent, I thought.Yeah.
959
00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:19,610
Nick, you seemed a very cautious
and caring parent, I thought.Yeah.
960
00:26:19,650 --> 00:26:19,890
Nick, you seemed a very cautious
and caring parent, I thought.Yeah.
961
00:26:19,930 --> 00:26:21,490
Did Nick spill a lot of baby?
962
00:26:21,530 --> 00:26:23,530
Yes, Nick spilt a quarter of his
baby,
963
00:26:23,570 --> 00:26:23,850
Yes, Nick spilt a quarter of his
baby,
964
00:26:23,890 --> 00:26:25,890
whereas Steve, in the end,
only 7% of baby spilt.
965
00:26:25,930 --> 00:26:26,330
whereas Steve, in the end,
only 7% of baby spilt.
966
00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:28,370
Who would've thought that you would
come across in this competition as
967
00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:29,650
Who would've thought that you would
come across in this competition as
968
00:26:29,690 --> 00:26:31,690
a more effective parent by
force-feeding your baby?
969
00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:32,090
a more effective parent by
force-feeding your baby?
970
00:26:33,210 --> 00:26:35,210
I feel like I have to apologise
to my own children now,
971
00:26:35,250 --> 00:26:35,650
I feel like I have to apologise
to my own children now,
972
00:26:35,690 --> 00:26:37,690
if that was anything like
the upbringing they had.
973
00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:37,970
if that was anything like
the upbringing they had.
974
00:26:38,010 --> 00:26:38,930
Yeah.
975
00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:40,970
Time for a break now. I say that,
it doesn't seem to matter
976
00:26:41,010 --> 00:26:41,850
Time for a break now. I say that,
it doesn't seem to matter
977
00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:43,890
how much pressure I apply
to Alex's pelvis, it just won't snap.
978
00:26:43,930 --> 00:26:45,930
how much pressure I apply
to Alex's pelvis, it just won't snap.
979
00:26:45,970 --> 00:26:46,210
how much pressure I apply
to Alex's pelvis, it just won't snap.
980
00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:48,250
LAUGHTER
981
00:26:48,290 --> 00:26:48,450
LAUGHTER
982
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,960
Hello. Yes, you're back with us on
Taskmaster.Mm-mm.
983
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000
Hello. Yes, you're back with us on
Taskmaster.Mm-mm.
984
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,240
Hello. Yes, you're back with us on
Taskmaster.Mm-mm.
985
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,160
Comedy entertainment at its finest.
Am I right, guys?
986
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,240
The current task...
LAUGHTER
987
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:10,560
The current task...
LAUGHTER
988
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,600
..sees our comedians busy trying
to complete a jobstacle course
989
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:13,680
..sees our comedians busy trying
to complete a jobstacle course
990
00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,720
of household chores whilst looking
after their water bottle in
991
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:16,120
of household chores whilst looking
after their water bottle in
992
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,160
a baby carrier. Least baby spilled
wins.
993
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:18,960
a baby carrier. Least baby spilled
wins.
994
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000
Last up - Rohn Jobins.
LAUGHTER
995
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:21,480
Last up - Rohn Jobins.
LAUGHTER
996
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,600
What are you going to do first, John?
997
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,480
Well, I'm going to take
the baby out of this.
998
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,480
It must stay in the baby carrier.
999
00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,520
It must remain in the baby carrier.
1000
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:31,320
It must remain in the baby carrier.
1001
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,360
But the baby carrier doesn't have
to remain on me.
1002
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,320
But the baby carrier doesn't have
to remain on me.
1003
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:36,240
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
1004
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,280
There we go. Right.
1005
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,320
LAUGHTER
Do the dishes. Caravan.
1006
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:44,280
LAUGHTER
Do the dishes. Caravan.
1007
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,520
Dishes...done!
1008
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:53,160
Thank you, Greg.
1009
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,800
Dust the carpet!
1010
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:55,960
Four minutes left.
1011
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:56,960
Four minutes!
1012
00:27:58,280 --> 00:27:59,760
Never done this before.
1013
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,920
The way my life's going,
I'll probably never do it again.
1014
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:03,600
The way my life's going,
I'll probably never do it again.
1015
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,640
LAUGHTER
Ugh!
1016
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:05,960
LAUGHTER
Ugh!
1017
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,600
A lot easier without
a baby on your front.
1018
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,040
Oh, it's so much easier,
1019
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,080
and honestly that baby's been
1020
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:11,360
and honestly that baby's been
1021
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,400
driving me crazy.
LAUGHTER
1022
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,120
driving me crazy.
LAUGHTER
1023
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,280
One minute left, John.
1024
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,920
Just taking a bit of care
with this, Alex.
1025
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,600
How much more time have I got?
1026
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,640
Five, four,
1027
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:23,800
Five, four,
1028
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,840
three, two...
WHISTLE BLOWS
1029
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,880
three, two...
WHISTLE BLOWS
1030
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:28,160
three, two...
WHISTLE BLOWS
1031
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,960
Thank you.
1032
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,600
If anything, he was tad smug.
1033
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:34,800
If anything, he was tad smug.
1034
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,560
But, you know. Fast, wasn't it?
Yeah, and it wasn't even about that.
1035
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,560
But, you know. Fast, wasn't it?
Yeah, and it wasn't even about that.
1036
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,600
There was zero percentage of
the baby spilt.
1037
00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:43,840
There was zero percentage of
the baby spilt.
1038
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,320
Oh, don't leave a silence where
there's a "but" coming and you...
1039
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,320
Oh, don't leave a silence where
there's a "but" coming and you...
1040
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,360
No? There's no "but". I'm just
allowing you to enjoy it.
1041
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:51,640
No? There's no "but". I'm just
allowing you to enjoy it.
1042
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:52,880
Oh, that's sweet.
1043
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,920
How long do you want to give him
to enjoy it?
1044
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:55,200
How long do you want to give him
to enjoy it?
1045
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,040
LAUGHTER
1046
00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,960
We'll give him ten more seconds,
shall we?
1047
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,280
LAUGHTER
1048
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,280
No, I unfortunately
don't have another VT.
1049
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,640
He has genuinely nailed it.
1050
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,680
I know he has, yeah.
Which is very frustrating.
1051
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,400
I know he has, yeah.
Which is very frustrating.
1052
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,680
APPLAUSE
1053
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,720
So the points are - Nick gets one,
1054
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,760
Sophie two, Joanne three,
Steve four,
1055
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:19,080
Sophie two, Joanne three,
Steve four,
1056
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,760
five points to John Robins!
Well done, John.
1057
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,880
OK, what's next please, Alex?
1058
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,920
You're going to like this, Greg.
We started off in a tent
1059
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:29,400
You're going to like this, Greg.
We started off in a tent
1060
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,440
and now we're going to be IN TENTS.
Intense. Do you...? Yeah?
1061
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,480
and now we're going to be IN TENTS.
Intense. Do you...? Yeah?
1062
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:33,840
and now we're going to be IN TENTS.
Intense. Do you...? Yeah?
1063
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,880
AUDIENCE CHUCKLES
1064
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,400
AUDIENCE CHUCKLES
1065
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,320
Oh, hello.
1066
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,040
Hello, Alex.
1067
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:03,040
You all right?
1068
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,680
Oh, no.
1069
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:08,160
What now?
1070
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,120
Is this right?
1071
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,440
Hello, you OK?
1072
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:22,320
Hello, you OK?
1073
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,360
Have you seen something bad?
1074
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:24,960
Have you seen something bad?
1075
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,080
Have you had an accident?
1076
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,280
ALEX GRUMBLES
1077
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,240
AUDIENCE:Aw.
1078
00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,640
Hmm.
1079
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,640
Oh, thank you.
1080
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,120
Create tension and you've just
given me a masterclass.
1081
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,160
Create tension and you've just
given me a masterclass.
1082
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:46,440
Create tension and you've just
given me a masterclass.
1083
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,480
Create tension. Oh,
1084
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:49,360
Create tension. Oh,
1085
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,400
you were acting.
And you did it well.
1086
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,640
you were acting.
And you did it well.
1087
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:54,680
Most tension created wins.
1088
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:54,960
Most tension created wins.
1089
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000
You have 20 minutes -
your time starts now.
1090
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:57,600
You have 20 minutes -
your time starts now.
1091
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:01,840
Have you started the attempt?
1092
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,760
I've started. This is tension. Yeah.
1093
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,240
So, like, just make it
really awkward?
1094
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,280
What did you think
of my tension that I created?
1095
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:12,560
What did you think
of my tension that I created?
1096
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:13,800
Didn't feel tense.
1097
00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:14,920
No, no. Oh, well.
1098
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,720
I'd give it a two out of ten...
Right.
1099
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,760
..for tension.
1100
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:18,760
Sexual tension?
1101
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,800
Hmm, I'm going to need some kind
of elasticated roping.
1102
00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,840
Hmm, I'm going to need some kind
of elasticated roping.
1103
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,120
Hmm, I'm going to need some kind
of elasticated roping.
1104
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,160
I would like to challenge you to
a duel of...
1105
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,200
I would like to challenge you to
a duel of...
1106
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,240
I would like to challenge you to
a duel of...
1107
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:32,600
I would like to challenge you to
a duel of...
1108
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:33,640
..hangman.
1109
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,560
Isn't quite working, that, is it?
1110
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,840
Isn't quite working, that, is it?
1111
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,880
Got a tablecloth? Mm-hm.Yeah.
1112
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:43,440
Got a tablecloth? Mm-hm.Yeah.
1113
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,480
I'm going to get some bits and bobs.
1114
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:45,760
I'm going to get some bits and bobs.
1115
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,200
APPLAUSE
1116
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:49,400
APPLAUSE
1117
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,520
This will be interesting cos
I know how to make you tense.
1118
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:56,880
This will be interesting cos
I know how to make you tense.
1119
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,960
Yes, you do.
1120
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,000
And I'm not going to be the
only one, I suspect. Let's go.
1121
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,680
And I'm not going to be the
only one, I suspect. Let's go.
1122
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,720
First of all, we're going to see
three lots of tension-makers -
1123
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:05,560
First of all, we're going to see
three lots of tension-makers -
1124
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,400
Sophie, John and Joanne.
1125
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,600
Tension. What is tension?
1126
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:11,280
Tension. What is tension?
1127
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:12,560
Tension is
1128
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,600
the apprehension that something
bad's going to happen, innit?
1129
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,280
the apprehension that something
bad's going to happen, innit?
1130
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:17,720
It's tense, we're worried.
1131
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:19,960
Alex, sit with me.
1132
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,400
Sit down beside me. Yeah.
1133
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,440
Actually, no.
Actually hop up here, hop up.
1134
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:25,840
Actually, no.
Actually hop up here, hop up.
1135
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,520
Facing you? Like this?
1136
00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,560
This is perfect, yeah. Look at me.
1137
00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:29,800
This is perfect, yeah. Look at me.
1138
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:30,960
Do I relax?No, don't relax.
1139
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,240
No?I want you on edge.
1140
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,560
In order to actually
measure the tension,
1141
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:36,360
In order to actually
measure the tension,
1142
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,400
we've got both analogue
and digital tension scales.
1143
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,440
we've got both analogue
and digital tension scales.
1144
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:40,680
we've got both analogue
and digital tension scales.
1145
00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,840
Like, so like...tightrope walking,
but on a chair?
1146
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,160
Like, so like...tightrope walking,
but on a chair?
1147
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,160
Yeah.
1148
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,480
What's your salary?
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
1149
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:54,560
What's your salary?
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
1150
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,120
Don't lie, don't lie to your mother.
1151
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,600
LAUGHTER
1152
00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,240
LAUGHTER
1153
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,200
Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
1154
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:16,440
Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
1155
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,360
Increase the tension. Oh!
1156
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,520
Alex, stand firm.
Let's take a reading.
1157
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:22,080
Alex, stand firm.
Let's take a reading.
1158
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:24,920
Alex, that's ten kilos of tension.
1159
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,200
Our genitals are not touching,
just to be clear.
1160
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:30,440
Our genitals are not touching,
just to be clear.
1161
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:32,600
Sadly.
1162
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,320
Can I say something?
1163
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,960
{\an8}I don't feel the
need to say anything.
1164
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:48,880
Two minutes left.
1165
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,280
SHE HISSES
1166
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:54,000
SHE HISSES
1167
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,040
That WAS tense.
1168
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,080
SHE HISSES
1169
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:57,280
SHE HISSES
1170
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,560
Feels so good.
1171
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,600
It's like my father's alive again.
1172
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:05,120
It's like my father's alive again.
1173
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,160
Uh...It's my father's anniversary
today - dead 21 years.
1174
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:07,960
Uh...It's my father's anniversary
today - dead 21 years.
1175
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,760
Oh, is it?You smell just like him.
1176
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,840
SNIFFS DEEPLY
1177
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:13,720
SNIFFS DEEPLY
1178
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:14,880
Hmm.
1179
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,920
What am I doing with the net, John?
What are you doing?
1180
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:17,240
What am I doing with the net, John?
What are you doing?
1181
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,280
You're catching the
Marble of Certain Death. Oh, I see.
1182
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:19,560
You're catching the
Marble of Certain Death. Oh, I see.
1183
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,040
OK. OK.
1184
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:22,840
Three, two,
1185
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:23,920
one.
1186
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,080
And there you go,
1187
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,840
the Marble of Certain Death
caught by Alex
1188
00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,880
under pretty extreme tension here.
That's ten kilos of tension.
1189
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,400
under pretty extreme tension here.
That's ten kilos of tension.
1190
00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,440
WHISTLE BLOWS
That's your time up, John.Thank you.
1191
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:35,720
WHISTLE BLOWS
That's your time up, John.Thank you.
1192
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:36,480
Phew.
1193
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,520
Ten seconds, Joanne. My whistle's
right down here though.
1194
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:40,840
Ten seconds, Joanne. My whistle's
right down here though.
1195
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:41,920
Excuse me?
1196
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,760
Ignore the whistle - it's just
me and you now.
1197
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,960
I've got to get the whistle.
1198
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000
I've asked the cameramen to leave.
1199
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:47,360
I've asked the cameramen to leave.
1200
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,400
SNIFFS DEEPLY
Stop it.
1201
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,440
WHISTLE BLOWS
Oh, thank God.
1202
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:52,280
WHISTLE BLOWS
Oh, thank God.
1203
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,200
Don't even look me in
the eye ever again.
1204
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:55,200
Thanks, Joanne.
1205
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,800
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
1206
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:02,360
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
1207
00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,120
I told you someone would
crack the code.
1208
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,760
Consent at every point -
every point, there was consent.
1209
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:09,280
Consent at every point -
every point, there was consent.
1210
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,160
There was.
What the audience didn't hear is
1211
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,360
what you said as you, uh,
1212
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,400
walked out which was,
"Never look at me again."
1213
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:14,880
walked out which was,
"Never look at me again."
1214
00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,240
Sophie, watching you
1215
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:19,960
Sophie, watching you
1216
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000
standing on one leg with
a cup on your head
1217
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,120
standing on one leg with
a cup on your head
1218
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,160
hissing like a fucking snake...
1219
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:25,720
hissing like a fucking snake...
1220
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,600
..is the least tense I've ever felt.
1221
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:28,600
Oh, really?
1222
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,440
You've never been in that position
1223
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,480
cos you're always taller,
aren't you? But... Yeah.
1224
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:33,920
cos you're always taller,
aren't you? But... Yeah.
1225
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,960
..actually having somebody...
1226
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:36,200
..actually having somebody...
1227
00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:38,240
HISSES
1228
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:38,520
HISSES
1229
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,520
Well, let me...
Let me, yeah, go on.
1230
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,400
If you sit on the floor.
1231
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,160
AUDIENCE MEMBER:Woo!
1232
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,000
HISSES FORCEFULLY
1233
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,800
No.Nothing? Right.
1234
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,000
Well, that's fine.
1235
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,960
What about John, who took
a very literal version of tension?
1236
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:02,520
What about John, who took
a very literal version of tension?
1237
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,200
Did he create much tension?
1238
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,240
Well, yes 1kg on Earth
1239
00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:06,960
Well, yes 1kg on Earth
1240
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000
is 9.8 Newtons of tension,
we know this. "We know this."
1241
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:09,920
is 9.8 Newtons of tension,
we know this. "We know this."
1242
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:11,960
And you had ten kilos. So
it was, yeah, it was 98 Newtons
1243
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:12,480
And you had ten kilos. So
it was, yeah, it was 98 Newtons
1244
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,520
of tension, he created.
Which is about the same as
1245
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:14,800
of tension, he created.
Which is about the same as
1246
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,640
a small monkey swinging on a tree.
1247
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,480
How heavy is the monkey?
1248
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,560
It said a small monkey.
1249
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,600
How many pounds
of tension did he create?
1250
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:26,720
How many pounds
of tension did he create?
1251
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,760
But te...tension's not measured in
1252
00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:29,760
But te...tension's not measured in
1253
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,800
stones or pounds.
It's not measured in monkeys, mate.
1254
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:32,160
stones or pounds.
It's not measured in monkeys, mate.
1255
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,200
It's measured in...
LAUGHTER
1256
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:34,480
It's measured in...
LAUGHTER
1257
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,360
APPLAUSE
1258
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,000
Who's left?
1259
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,040
Next up, time to vamp up
the tension
1260
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:43,360
Next up, time to vamp up
the tension
1261
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,400
with Nick Mohammed. Ooh.
1262
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,040
with Nick Mohammed. Ooh.
1263
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,040
How long, Alex?
1264
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:00,160
Got one minute, Nick.
1265
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,880
OPERATIC MUSIC BUILDS
1266
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,920
OPERATIC MUSIC BUILDS
1267
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,240
OPERATIC MUSIC BUILDS
1268
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,600
{\an8}APPLAUSE
1269
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,280
{\an8}That's what I intended.
1270
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,160
{\an8}Then that then goes over that.
1271
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,840
{\an8}We'll do that. And this little...
1272
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:31,440
{\an8}..little finish.
1273
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,320
Thanks, Alex. See you later.
1274
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,080
The old egg-misses-the-glass
trick, eh?
1275
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:54,600
The old egg-misses-the-glass
trick, eh?
1276
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,640
That was genuinely stressful just
rewatching that.
1277
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,640
That was genuinely stressful just
rewatching that.
1278
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,080
Yeah, there was tension there.
1279
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,120
And I've gotta say, it's not looking
bad for you on this one.Oh, great.
1280
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:02,040
And I've gotta say, it's not looking
bad for you on this one.Oh, great.
1281
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,080
Yeah, and bear in mind who you're
sitting next to.
1282
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,080
Yeah, and bear in mind who you're
sitting next to.
1283
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,080
Right, we're nearly at the end of
the show,
1284
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,120
when one of the comedians
will scream with delight
1285
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:12,560
when one of the comedians
will scream with delight
1286
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,600
as they head home
with their very own trough,
1287
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:15,080
as they head home
with their very own trough,
1288
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,120
but first, have some badverts.
1289
00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,160
but first, have some badverts.
1290
00:38:28,220 --> 00:38:30,220
Hello, welcome back to the
final part of the show,
1291
00:38:30,260 --> 00:38:30,540
Hello, welcome back to the
final part of the show,
1292
00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:32,460
where things have been
pretty damn tense.
1293
00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:34,420
Oh, you've been pretty,
I've been tense
1294
00:38:34,460 --> 00:38:36,460
and that's because we've come to
the end of our create-tension task,
1295
00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:37,740
and that's because we've come to
the end of our create-tension task,
1296
00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:39,780
and it ends with me versus
Steve at hangman.
1297
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:41,260
and it ends with me versus
Steve at hangman.
1298
00:38:57,820 --> 00:38:58,940
{\an8}No vowels.
1299
00:39:04,780 --> 00:39:05,820
P.
1300
00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:09,660
BELL DINGS
1301
00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:09,860
BELL DINGS
1302
00:39:13,540 --> 00:39:14,580
T.
1303
00:39:21,340 --> 00:39:22,940
R.
1304
00:39:22,980 --> 00:39:24,980
BELL DINGS
1305
00:39:25,020 --> 00:39:25,180
BELL DINGS
1306
00:39:28,580 --> 00:39:30,420
L.
1307
00:39:30,460 --> 00:39:32,460
BELL DINGS
1308
00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:32,700
BELL DINGS
1309
00:39:32,740 --> 00:39:34,740
D.
1310
00:39:34,780 --> 00:39:35,180
D.
1311
00:39:35,220 --> 00:39:37,220
H.
BELL DINGS
1312
00:39:37,260 --> 00:39:39,260
M.
BELL DINGS
1313
00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:39,980
M.
BELL DINGS
1314
00:39:40,020 --> 00:39:41,780
S.
1315
00:39:41,820 --> 00:39:42,900
N.
1316
00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:52,860
P.
BELL DINGS
1317
00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:53,140
P.
BELL DINGS
1318
00:39:53,180 --> 00:39:54,500
C.
1319
00:39:56,780 --> 00:39:57,860
B.
1320
00:39:59,940 --> 00:40:01,180
H.
1321
00:40:03,980 --> 00:40:04,940
C?
1322
00:40:06,420 --> 00:40:07,380
G.
1323
00:40:10,780 --> 00:40:12,780
V.
LAUGHTER
1324
00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:13,180
V.
LAUGHTER
1325
00:40:13,220 --> 00:40:15,180
BELL DINGS
1326
00:40:18,060 --> 00:40:19,020
Nightclub.
1327
00:40:37,180 --> 00:40:38,340
It means assistant.
1328
00:40:41,180 --> 00:40:43,180
APPLAUSE
1329
00:40:43,220 --> 00:40:44,020
APPLAUSE
1330
00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:49,660
What an impressive production.
1331
00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:51,700
Hmm. Amazing.
1332
00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:51,980
Hmm. Amazing.
1333
00:40:52,020 --> 00:40:54,020
The tension in that room between
Alex and I,
1334
00:40:54,060 --> 00:40:55,700
The tension in that room between
Alex and I,
1335
00:40:55,740 --> 00:40:57,740
and the no-vowels hangman rule,
1336
00:40:57,780 --> 00:40:58,260
and the no-vowels hangman rule,
1337
00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:00,300
that really upped it 50%.
1338
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:00,540
that really upped it 50%.
1339
00:41:00,580 --> 00:41:01,980
It did.
1340
00:41:02,020 --> 00:41:03,140
It was electric.
1341
00:41:04,620 --> 00:41:06,620
If I were to pick perhaps
a small criticism -
1342
00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:07,820
If I were to pick perhaps
a small criticism -
1343
00:41:07,860 --> 00:41:09,860
yoghurt, cheese and hot sauce
sounds quite nice.
1344
00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:10,140
yoghurt, cheese and hot sauce
sounds quite nice.
1345
00:41:10,180 --> 00:41:12,020
LAUGHTER
1346
00:41:12,060 --> 00:41:13,700
Right, Sophie's getting one point
1347
00:41:13,740 --> 00:41:15,700
then there's a gulf between Sophie
1348
00:41:15,740 --> 00:41:16,740
and the others.
1349
00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:18,780
So we jump up to three points.
1350
00:41:18,820 --> 00:41:19,540
So we jump up to three points.
1351
00:41:19,580 --> 00:41:21,580
Right. Who's getting three points?
John is.
1352
00:41:21,620 --> 00:41:21,900
Right. Who's getting three points?
John is.
1353
00:41:21,940 --> 00:41:23,940
I felt tense
with Nick and with Steve.
1354
00:41:23,980 --> 00:41:24,980
I felt tense
with Nick and with Steve.
1355
00:41:25,020 --> 00:41:27,020
Steve, I felt deliberately tense.
1356
00:41:27,060 --> 00:41:27,820
Steve, I felt deliberately tense.
1357
00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:29,860
And with Nick, I felt his gross
incompetence was...
1358
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:30,980
And with Nick, I felt his gross
incompetence was...
1359
00:41:31,020 --> 00:41:33,020
LAUGHTER
..as a magician, was going to result
1360
00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:33,340
LAUGHTER
..as a magician, was going to result
1361
00:41:33,380 --> 00:41:35,100
in someone being hurt.
1362
00:41:35,140 --> 00:41:37,140
So I can draw a parallel there
and say four points for both.
1363
00:41:37,180 --> 00:41:37,660
So I can draw a parallel there
and say four points for both.
1364
00:41:37,700 --> 00:41:39,700
But we all know where the most
tension was in the room.Yeah.
1365
00:41:39,740 --> 00:41:40,420
But we all know where the most
tension was in the room.Yeah.
1366
00:41:40,460 --> 00:41:42,460
And it was a grown woman sniffing
your beard.
1367
00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,300
And it was a grown woman sniffing
your beard.
1368
00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:46,700
So five points to Joanne,
and that's the end of it.
1369
00:41:46,740 --> 00:41:46,940
So five points to Joanne,
and that's the end of it.
1370
00:41:50,780 --> 00:41:52,300
Scoreboard, boy.
1371
00:41:52,340 --> 00:41:54,020
Right, OK. Well, unfortunately,
Sophie,
1372
00:41:54,060 --> 00:41:56,060
that means you've only got
six points, whereas John
1373
00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:56,380
that means you've only got
six points, whereas John
1374
00:41:56,420 --> 00:41:58,420
and Joanne are in the lead
with 17 points. Ooh.
1375
00:41:58,460 --> 00:41:58,740
and Joanne are in the lead
with 17 points. Ooh.
1376
00:41:58,780 --> 00:42:00,180
AUDIENCE:Ooh!
1377
00:42:00,220 --> 00:42:02,220
APPLAUSE
1378
00:42:02,260 --> 00:42:02,620
APPLAUSE
1379
00:42:02,660 --> 00:42:04,340
All right, then.
1380
00:42:04,380 --> 00:42:06,020
Please can you vacate your chairs,
1381
00:42:06,060 --> 00:42:08,060
head to the stage for
the final task of the show!
1382
00:42:08,100 --> 00:42:08,460
head to the stage for
the final task of the show!
1383
00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:19,900
Who's going to read the task out?
1384
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:21,500
Joanne McNally, my friend.
1385
00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:24,340
Don't look at me, Alex.
LAUGHTER
1386
00:42:24,380 --> 00:42:25,540
Don't look at me.
1387
00:42:25,580 --> 00:42:27,580
Catch the most monsters in
your boxes.
1388
00:42:27,620 --> 00:42:28,020
Catch the most monsters in
your boxes.
1389
00:42:28,060 --> 00:42:30,060
The monsters must
propel themselves from the table.
1390
00:42:30,100 --> 00:42:30,740
The monsters must
propel themselves from the table.
1391
00:42:30,780 --> 00:42:32,780
Most monsters in boxes after
two minutes wins.
1392
00:42:32,820 --> 00:42:34,540
Most monsters in boxes after
two minutes wins.
1393
00:42:34,580 --> 00:42:36,580
And I should also say - if you catch
one in your arm,
1394
00:42:36,620 --> 00:42:36,940
And I should also say - if you catch
one in your arm,
1395
00:42:36,980 --> 00:42:38,580
that's worth one monster.
1396
00:42:38,620 --> 00:42:40,620
In your hat, that's worth
two monsters.
1397
00:42:40,660 --> 00:42:40,900
In your hat, that's worth
two monsters.
1398
00:42:40,940 --> 00:42:42,940
It's three on the leg,
1399
00:42:42,980 --> 00:42:43,180
It's three on the leg,
1400
00:42:43,220 --> 00:42:45,020
four on the back bucket,
1401
00:42:45,060 --> 00:42:46,700
five on the shoulder.
1402
00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:48,460
Isn't the leg one a bit unfair?
1403
00:42:48,500 --> 00:42:50,500
Someone's got an advantage.
HISSES
1404
00:42:50,540 --> 00:42:50,820
Someone's got an advantage.
HISSES
1405
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,780
OK, so it's two minutes, Greg.
1406
00:42:56,820 --> 00:42:57,020
OK, so it's two minutes, Greg.
1407
00:42:57,060 --> 00:42:59,060
Let's dance.And they're off.
1408
00:42:59,100 --> 00:42:59,580
Let's dance.And they're off.
1409
00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:01,180
Whoa!
1410
00:43:02,300 --> 00:43:04,300
It's hard to even get the... Oh!
1411
00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:04,660
It's hard to even get the... Oh!
1412
00:43:04,700 --> 00:43:06,700
How'd you do it?
They're not bouncing.
1413
00:43:06,740 --> 00:43:06,940
How'd you do it?
They're not bouncing.
1414
00:43:07,980 --> 00:43:08,940
Oh!
1415
00:43:11,700 --> 00:43:13,580
AUDIENCE:Oh!
1416
00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:17,060
NOW I'm tense, Sophie.
1417
00:43:30,140 --> 00:43:31,180
Yes, yes!
1418
00:43:31,220 --> 00:43:33,220
CHEERING
1419
00:43:33,260 --> 00:43:33,420
CHEERING
1420
00:43:34,540 --> 00:43:36,460
Nick is pulling away here.
1421
00:43:38,780 --> 00:43:39,780
Ah!
1422
00:43:39,820 --> 00:43:41,420
24 seconds left now.
1423
00:43:41,460 --> 00:43:42,540
How are you over there?
1424
00:43:42,580 --> 00:43:43,540
Yes.
1425
00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:46,820
Oh, Steve, that was so close.
1426
00:43:46,860 --> 00:43:47,060
Oh, Steve, that was so close.
1427
00:43:47,100 --> 00:43:48,540
Tip the table, tip that table.
1428
00:43:50,580 --> 00:43:51,860
Oh.
1429
00:43:51,900 --> 00:43:53,900
WHISTLE BLOWS
Stop.
1430
00:43:53,940 --> 00:43:54,220
WHISTLE BLOWS
Stop.
1431
00:43:54,260 --> 00:43:56,260
APPLAUSE
Oh!
1432
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,180
APPLAUSE
Oh!
1433
00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:00,100
Can I clarify one thing?
It did say in the task
1434
00:44:00,140 --> 00:44:02,140
the monsters must propel themselves
from the table.
1435
00:44:02,180 --> 00:44:02,460
the monsters must propel themselves
from the table.
1436
00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:04,500
Are we happy that the stage is
a table for Sophie?
1437
00:44:04,540 --> 00:44:05,700
Are we happy that the stage is
a table for Sophie?
1438
00:44:05,740 --> 00:44:07,500
I mean, as an act
of charity, I think...
1439
00:44:07,540 --> 00:44:09,580
LAUGHTER
1440
00:44:09,620 --> 00:44:11,620
OK, I'm going to quickly count
the monsters.
1441
00:44:11,660 --> 00:44:11,940
OK, I'm going to quickly count
the monsters.
1442
00:44:11,980 --> 00:44:13,980
We have one in the top -
that's two monsters for Joanne.
1443
00:44:14,020 --> 00:44:15,180
We have one in the top -
that's two monsters for Joanne.
1444
00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:17,100
Lovely.Not bad.
1445
00:44:17,140 --> 00:44:18,180
{\an8}We have one in the top,
1446
00:44:18,220 --> 00:44:19,820
{\an8}we also have two bucket monsters,
1447
00:44:19,860 --> 00:44:21,860
so that's a total of ten monsters.
Ooh. Wow.
1448
00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:22,420
so that's a total of ten monsters.
Ooh. Wow.
1449
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:23,660
That's a lot of monsters.
1450
00:44:24,740 --> 00:44:25,980
You have two in the leg -
1451
00:44:26,020 --> 00:44:27,260
that's six monsters.
1452
00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:29,300
Right.Unfortunately, the arm is
the lowest scoring.
1453
00:44:29,340 --> 00:44:30,940
Right.Unfortunately, the arm is
the lowest scoring.
1454
00:44:30,980 --> 00:44:32,980
There are six in there, which is
also a total of six monsters.
1455
00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:33,780
There are six in there, which is
also a total of six monsters.
1456
00:44:37,380 --> 00:44:39,380
There is one in the hat
and there are two in the bucket,
1457
00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:39,860
There is one in the hat
and there are two in the bucket,
1458
00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:41,900
so that's a total of ten monsters.
1459
00:44:41,940 --> 00:44:42,100
so that's a total of ten monsters.
1460
00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:46,420
{\an8}So why don't you all come down here
1461
00:44:46,460 --> 00:44:48,460
and we'll see what that's done
to the final scores?
1462
00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:48,740
and we'll see what that's done
to the final scores?
1463
00:44:48,780 --> 00:44:50,540
APPLAUSE
1464
00:44:55,500 --> 00:44:57,380
Greg, I need to show you
a couple of things.
1465
00:44:57,420 --> 00:44:59,100
Oh, good - is it related to the show?
1466
00:44:59,140 --> 00:45:01,140
LAUGHTER
1467
00:45:01,180 --> 00:45:01,420
LAUGHTER
1468
00:45:01,460 --> 00:45:03,460
Unfortunately, yes. I need to, uh,
get your judgment on
1469
00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:04,100
Unfortunately, yes. I need to, uh,
get your judgment on
1470
00:45:04,140 --> 00:45:06,140
a couple of little bits
I caught during the task.
1471
00:45:06,180 --> 00:45:06,420
a couple of little bits
I caught during the task.
1472
00:45:06,460 --> 00:45:08,460
AUDIENCE OOHS
1473
00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:08,940
AUDIENCE OOHS
1474
00:45:08,980 --> 00:45:10,540
Some impropriety?
1475
00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:12,580
LAUGHTER
1476
00:45:12,620 --> 00:45:12,860
LAUGHTER
1477
00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,900
You need them - otherwise, you can't
see. Oh, yeah.
1478
00:45:14,940 --> 00:45:16,180
You need them - otherwise, you can't
see. Oh, yeah.
1479
00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:18,220
OK, have a look up here.
The first thing I was saw this.
1480
00:45:18,260 --> 00:45:19,260
OK, have a look up here.
The first thing I was saw this.
1481
00:45:21,540 --> 00:45:23,540
ALL:Ooh!
1482
00:45:23,580 --> 00:45:23,900
ALL:Ooh!
1483
00:45:23,940 --> 00:45:25,380
Outrageous.
1484
00:45:25,420 --> 00:45:27,420
Yeah, so do you want to dock him one
monster or more?
1485
00:45:27,460 --> 00:45:28,140
Yeah, so do you want to dock him one
monster or more?
1486
00:45:28,180 --> 00:45:30,180
Oh, I mean he's disqualified from
the whole...
1487
00:45:30,220 --> 00:45:30,500
Oh, I mean he's disqualified from
the whole...
1488
00:45:30,540 --> 00:45:32,540
GASPS
I'm joking. I'm joking.
1489
00:45:32,580 --> 00:45:33,300
GASPS
I'm joking. I'm joking.
1490
00:45:33,340 --> 00:45:35,340
Yeah, just dock him one point,
yeah.One monster's gone.
1491
00:45:35,380 --> 00:45:35,860
Yeah, just dock him one point,
yeah.One monster's gone.
1492
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:37,900
And then it's whether or not
Steve's final hat monster
1493
00:45:37,940 --> 00:45:38,340
And then it's whether or not
Steve's final hat monster
1494
00:45:38,380 --> 00:45:39,860
was before or after the whistle.
1495
00:45:41,780 --> 00:45:43,780
WHISTLE BLOWS
Stop.
1496
00:45:43,820 --> 00:45:44,020
WHISTLE BLOWS
Stop.
1497
00:45:45,860 --> 00:45:47,860
Well, it was about three
years after the whistle.
1498
00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:48,260
Well, it was about three
years after the whistle.
1499
00:45:49,540 --> 00:45:51,540
So there's not a lot of tension
in that decision, is there?
1500
00:45:51,580 --> 00:45:52,820
So there's not a lot of tension
in that decision, is there?
1501
00:45:52,860 --> 00:45:54,020
So that means Joanne, uh,
1502
00:45:54,060 --> 00:45:56,060
is last with the two monsters,
then it's Nick with five,
1503
00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:56,500
is last with the two monsters,
then it's Nick with five,
1504
00:45:56,540 --> 00:45:58,540
Sophie with six, Steve with eight
1505
00:45:58,580 --> 00:45:58,820
Sophie with six, Steve with eight
1506
00:45:58,860 --> 00:46:00,860
and John takes all five points
with the ten monsters.
1507
00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:01,380
and John takes all five points
with the ten monsters.
1508
00:46:01,420 --> 00:46:02,780
There it is.
1509
00:46:05,580 --> 00:46:07,580
Exciting what that's done to
the final scoreboard.
1510
00:46:07,620 --> 00:46:07,900
Exciting what that's done to
the final scoreboard.
1511
00:46:07,940 --> 00:46:09,780
Because so far only Steve has won,
of course.
1512
00:46:09,820 --> 00:46:11,820
Correct. In this episode,
Joanne was pipped to the post.
1513
00:46:11,860 --> 00:46:13,380
Correct. In this episode,
Joanne was pipped to the post.
1514
00:46:13,420 --> 00:46:15,420
She got 18 points
and John got 22 points.
1515
00:46:15,460 --> 00:46:15,660
She got 18 points
and John got 22 points.
1516
00:46:17,980 --> 00:46:19,980
John Robins is the winner
of episode three!
1517
00:46:20,020 --> 00:46:20,780
John Robins is the winner
of episode three!
1518
00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,820
Go and gather your
alternative animal accessories.
1519
00:46:22,860 --> 00:46:23,340
Go and gather your
alternative animal accessories.
1520
00:46:23,380 --> 00:46:25,380
APPLAUSE
1521
00:46:25,420 --> 00:46:25,900
APPLAUSE
1522
00:46:27,620 --> 00:46:29,620
So what have we learnt from
today's show?
1523
00:46:29,660 --> 00:46:30,140
So what have we learnt from
today's show?
1524
00:46:30,180 --> 00:46:31,740
Well, we've learnt that everyone
1525
00:46:31,780 --> 00:46:33,780
finds themselves in tense situations.
1526
00:46:33,820 --> 00:46:34,260
finds themselves in tense situations.
1527
00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:36,300
A difficult negotiation, perhaps,
a feud with a neighbour,
1528
00:46:36,340 --> 00:46:37,100
A difficult negotiation, perhaps,
a feud with a neighbour,
1529
00:46:37,140 --> 00:46:38,900
an argument with a partner.
1530
00:46:38,940 --> 00:46:40,940
But remember, there's always a way
to defuse that awful tension.
1531
00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:42,980
But remember, there's always a way
to defuse that awful tension.
1532
00:46:43,020 --> 00:46:43,260
But remember, there's always a way
to defuse that awful tension.
1533
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:44,260
And this is it.
1534
00:46:45,260 --> 00:46:47,260
HISSES
1535
00:46:47,300 --> 00:46:47,580
HISSES
1536
00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:53,100
But there's only one real winner
tonight, ladies and gentlemen -
1537
00:46:53,140 --> 00:46:53,620
But there's only one real winner
tonight, ladies and gentlemen -
1538
00:46:53,660 --> 00:46:55,500
that is John Robins!
1539
00:47:17,980 --> 00:47:19,980
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
1540
00:47:20,020 --> 00:47:21,700
Subtitles by Red Bee Media