1 00:00:02,731 --> 00:00:04,731 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:05,611 This programme contains strong language and adult humour 3 00:00:05,651 --> 00:00:07,651 Ooh! Oh, no, no. 4 00:00:07,691 --> 00:00:08,331 Ooh! Oh, no, no. 5 00:00:08,371 --> 00:00:09,371 Yes! Ah! 6 00:00:09,411 --> 00:00:10,571 SHE HISSES, BELL RINGS 7 00:00:12,211 --> 00:00:13,371 Ah! 8 00:00:13,411 --> 00:00:14,971 Erm... 9 00:00:15,011 --> 00:00:16,651 Quite windy today.Yeah. 10 00:00:16,691 --> 00:00:17,691 Christ. 11 00:00:17,731 --> 00:00:19,731 Ooh! Wrong way. 12 00:00:19,771 --> 00:00:19,971 Ooh! Wrong way. 13 00:00:20,011 --> 00:00:21,171 That's how you do it, baby. 14 00:00:21,211 --> 00:00:22,611 OK. 15 00:00:22,651 --> 00:00:24,131 Oh, my God! 16 00:00:24,171 --> 00:00:25,691 Ah! Ah! Ah!Ooh! 17 00:00:25,731 --> 00:00:26,851 SHE BABBLES 18 00:00:26,891 --> 00:00:28,891 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 19 00:00:28,931 --> 00:00:29,091 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 20 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,411 Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster. 21 00:00:38,451 --> 00:00:40,291 Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster. 22 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,331 Or as my nan calls it - blyahr. 23 00:00:42,371 --> 00:00:43,211 Or as my nan calls it - blyahr. 24 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,251 Being as she is long since dead. 25 00:00:45,291 --> 00:00:46,651 Being as she is long since dead. 26 00:00:46,691 --> 00:00:48,211 Our calamitous comedians are 27 00:00:48,251 --> 00:00:50,251 hurtling ever faster towards a total loss of credibility. 28 00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:50,891 hurtling ever faster towards a total loss of credibility. 29 00:00:50,931 --> 00:00:52,931 So please give them an uplifting cheer 30 00:00:52,971 --> 00:00:53,211 So please give them an uplifting cheer 31 00:00:53,251 --> 00:00:55,251 as we welcome back Joanne McNally... 32 00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:56,091 as we welcome back Joanne McNally... 33 00:00:56,131 --> 00:00:57,171 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 34 00:00:57,211 --> 00:00:58,931 ..John Robins... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 35 00:00:58,971 --> 00:01:00,971 ..Nick Mohammed... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 36 00:01:01,011 --> 00:01:01,291 ..Nick Mohammed... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 37 00:01:01,331 --> 00:01:03,331 ..Sophie Willan... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 38 00:01:03,371 --> 00:01:03,931 ..Sophie Willan... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 39 00:01:03,971 --> 00:01:05,971 ..and Steve Pemberton! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 40 00:01:06,011 --> 00:01:07,571 ..and Steve Pemberton! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 41 00:01:08,771 --> 00:01:10,771 And next to me, a man who confided in me that he 42 00:01:10,811 --> 00:01:12,291 And next to me, a man who confided in me that he 43 00:01:12,331 --> 00:01:14,331 finds his neighbour's wife "hot as hell and twice as spicy". 44 00:01:14,371 --> 00:01:16,131 finds his neighbour's wife "hot as hell and twice as spicy". 45 00:01:16,171 --> 00:01:18,171 S... LAUGHTER 46 00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:18,531 S... LAUGHTER 47 00:01:18,571 --> 00:01:20,571 Specifically the neighbours to the left, 48 00:01:20,611 --> 00:01:21,131 Specifically the neighbours to the left, 49 00:01:21,171 --> 00:01:23,171 if you're looking at the house from the road. 50 00:01:23,211 --> 00:01:23,491 if you're looking at the house from the road. 51 00:01:24,571 --> 00:01:26,171 HIGH-PITCHED: It's little Alex Horne! 52 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:27,651 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 53 00:01:27,691 --> 00:01:29,691 That's the worst-ever one. 54 00:01:29,731 --> 00:01:30,131 That's the worst-ever one. 55 00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:31,131 No. 56 00:01:32,731 --> 00:01:34,731 She is nice, you said. They watch the show. Yep. 57 00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:35,291 She is nice, you said. They watch the show. Yep. 58 00:01:35,331 --> 00:01:37,331 You said you like it when she puts the washing out. 59 00:01:37,371 --> 00:01:37,931 You said you like it when she puts the washing out. 60 00:01:37,971 --> 00:01:39,411 LAUGHTER 61 00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,851 Hi, Greg. All right? 62 00:01:41,891 --> 00:01:43,891 Yeah, I'm great. I'm great, actually, now. 63 00:01:43,931 --> 00:01:44,171 Yeah, I'm great. I'm great, actually, now. 64 00:01:44,211 --> 00:01:45,211 You thinking about her?No. 65 00:01:45,251 --> 00:01:46,731 Pegging those... 66 00:01:46,771 --> 00:01:48,131 Pegging those sheets up. 67 00:01:49,731 --> 00:01:51,651 Anyway, I've got some statistics for you. Yeah. 68 00:01:51,691 --> 00:01:53,691 From the channel, about how people watch the show. 69 00:01:53,731 --> 00:01:53,971 From the channel, about how people watch the show. 70 00:01:54,011 --> 00:01:55,211 So this is interesting. OK. 71 00:01:55,251 --> 00:01:57,251 20% of people apparently now watch it on a device... 72 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:57,811 20% of people apparently now watch it on a device... 73 00:01:57,851 --> 00:01:59,851 ..like a mobile or a juicer. Erm, we've got six... 74 00:01:59,891 --> 00:02:00,171 ..like a mobile or a juicer. Erm, we've got six... 75 00:02:01,331 --> 00:02:03,331 64% of people, most people, project it onto 76 00:02:03,371 --> 00:02:04,091 64% of people, most people, project it onto 77 00:02:04,131 --> 00:02:06,131 a sort of large bui...large building into...in a town. 78 00:02:06,171 --> 00:02:06,491 a sort of large bui...large building into...in a town. 79 00:02:06,531 --> 00:02:08,531 Erm, normally a big hall. And, 80 00:02:08,571 --> 00:02:08,811 Erm, normally a big hall. And, 81 00:02:08,851 --> 00:02:10,851 uh, the other 16% - traditional flatscreen TV still. 82 00:02:10,891 --> 00:02:11,611 uh, the other 16% - traditional flatscreen TV still. 83 00:02:11,651 --> 00:02:13,651 Right.Uh, but on the floor and looking down at it 84 00:02:13,691 --> 00:02:13,971 Right.Uh, but on the floor and looking down at it 85 00:02:14,011 --> 00:02:15,571 and dancing around it with some music on. 86 00:02:15,611 --> 00:02:17,611 That's, erm, some statistics about the show. OK. 87 00:02:17,651 --> 00:02:18,331 That's, erm, some statistics about the show. OK. 88 00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:19,571 Ready? Yeah, that was my bit. 89 00:02:19,611 --> 00:02:21,611 All right, we're off to an absolute buzzing start. 90 00:02:21,651 --> 00:02:22,571 All right, we're off to an absolute buzzing start. 91 00:02:22,611 --> 00:02:24,611 LAUGHTER 92 00:02:24,651 --> 00:02:24,891 LAUGHTER 93 00:02:24,931 --> 00:02:26,931 Right, what's the prize category this week, Alex? 94 00:02:26,971 --> 00:02:27,851 Right, what's the prize category this week, Alex? 95 00:02:27,891 --> 00:02:29,891 It's the best thing for a person that is meant for an animal. OK? 96 00:02:29,931 --> 00:02:31,931 It's the best thing for a person that is meant for an animal. OK? 97 00:02:31,971 --> 00:02:32,451 It's the best thing for a person that is meant for an animal. OK? 98 00:02:32,491 --> 00:02:34,171 Greg will give the best thing five points 99 00:02:34,211 --> 00:02:36,051 and Greg will give the worst thing one point. 100 00:02:36,091 --> 00:02:37,571 John, I'm starting with you. 101 00:02:37,611 --> 00:02:39,611 Well, I wanted to get something that was fitting of 102 00:02:39,651 --> 00:02:39,891 Well, I wanted to get something that was fitting of 103 00:02:39,931 --> 00:02:41,931 a man of your standing and stature. 104 00:02:41,971 --> 00:02:42,291 a man of your standing and stature. 105 00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:43,331 Lovely. 106 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,371 So I have brought an elephant chair. 107 00:02:45,411 --> 00:02:46,251 So I have brought an elephant chair. 108 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,291 Yes, here it is. It's called a howdah. 109 00:02:48,331 --> 00:02:48,571 Yes, here it is. It's called a howdah. 110 00:02:48,611 --> 00:02:49,651 Ooh. 111 00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,691 ALL:Ooh. 112 00:02:51,731 --> 00:02:51,931 ALL:Ooh. 113 00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,571 I sort of actually like it, though. 114 00:02:53,611 --> 00:02:55,251 LAUGHTER 115 00:02:55,291 --> 00:02:57,291 It's meant for an elephant's back 116 00:02:57,331 --> 00:02:57,851 It's meant for an elephant's back 117 00:02:57,891 --> 00:02:59,891 and you would sit on it on long journeys in the past. 118 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:00,771 and you would sit on it on long journeys in the past. 119 00:03:00,811 --> 00:03:02,811 However... Sorry...Yeah? Oh, I see! 120 00:03:02,851 --> 00:03:03,291 However... Sorry...Yeah? Oh, I see! 121 00:03:03,331 --> 00:03:04,731 LAUGHTER 122 00:03:04,771 --> 00:03:06,771 God, I mean, I genuinely did imagine an elephant with 123 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:07,491 God, I mean, I genuinely did imagine an elephant with 124 00:03:07,531 --> 00:03:08,811 a bad back sitting on it. 125 00:03:08,851 --> 00:03:10,851 LAUGHTER Genuinely. 126 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:11,851 LAUGHTER Genuinely. 127 00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:13,611 However, they are, uh, 128 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,651 quite cruel to be used on elephants. 129 00:03:15,691 --> 00:03:15,931 quite cruel to be used on elephants. 130 00:03:15,971 --> 00:03:17,971 They're damaging to their skin and their back. 131 00:03:18,011 --> 00:03:18,251 They're damaging to their skin and their back. 132 00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:20,011 Yes.So by taking one off 133 00:03:20,051 --> 00:03:22,051 the open market, I feel we're all doing a little bit of good today. 134 00:03:22,091 --> 00:03:23,531 the open market, I feel we're all doing a little bit of good today. 135 00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,571 Wow, so if I give this five points, I'm... 136 00:03:25,611 --> 00:03:26,411 Wow, so if I give this five points, I'm... 137 00:03:26,451 --> 00:03:28,331 ..I'm taking one for the elephant team? 138 00:03:28,371 --> 00:03:30,371 Big time, big time. You're sending out a message. 139 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:30,971 Big time, big time. You're sending out a message. 140 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,011 You're welcome, big ears. LAUGHTER 141 00:03:33,051 --> 00:03:34,091 You're welcome, big ears. LAUGHTER 142 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,411 Nick, what have you brought in? 143 00:03:35,451 --> 00:03:37,011 You know when a pet is ill... Yes. 144 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,731 ..and you give it one of those cones? 145 00:03:38,771 --> 00:03:39,931 To stop...One of those. 146 00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:41,971 I just think one of those for a human - if you had, like, 147 00:03:42,011 --> 00:03:42,971 I just think one of those for a human - if you had, like, 148 00:03:43,011 --> 00:03:45,011 an itch or something, you could wear one on your hand 149 00:03:45,051 --> 00:03:46,931 an itch or something, you could wear one on your hand 150 00:03:46,971 --> 00:03:48,651 to prevent you from itching. 151 00:03:48,691 --> 00:03:50,691 Shall I show you his cone that he's brought in? Thank you. 152 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,051 Shall I show you his cone that he's brought in? Thank you. 153 00:03:51,091 --> 00:03:52,971 I mean, you can if you want but I already know... 154 00:03:53,011 --> 00:03:55,011 ..I already know how many points it's getting.Yeah. 155 00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:55,491 ..I already know how many points it's getting.Yeah. 156 00:03:55,531 --> 00:03:57,371 I already regret it, Greg. 157 00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:58,971 Here's the cone, quite a small one. 158 00:03:59,011 --> 00:04:01,011 Not going to be a surprise, but there you go. 159 00:04:01,051 --> 00:04:01,331 Not going to be a surprise, but there you go. 160 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,371 Wow, well, cheers, Nick. It's, uh...Thank you. 161 00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:03,691 Wow, well, cheers, Nick. It's, uh...Thank you. 162 00:04:03,731 --> 00:04:05,731 It's pretty bad. LAUGHTER 163 00:04:05,771 --> 00:04:05,971 It's pretty bad. LAUGHTER 164 00:04:06,971 --> 00:04:08,451 Steve. 165 00:04:08,491 --> 00:04:10,491 It's, uh, a scratching brush. 166 00:04:10,531 --> 00:04:10,731 It's, uh, a scratching brush. 167 00:04:10,771 --> 00:04:12,491 Here is your scratching brush. 168 00:04:12,531 --> 00:04:14,531 Now, this promotes skin health, 169 00:04:14,571 --> 00:04:14,771 Now, this promotes skin health, 170 00:04:14,811 --> 00:04:16,811 uh, gets rid of parasites. 171 00:04:16,851 --> 00:04:17,331 uh, gets rid of parasites. 172 00:04:17,371 --> 00:04:19,371 And, erm, I was imagining you in the shower. 173 00:04:19,411 --> 00:04:20,811 And, erm, I was imagining you in the shower. 174 00:04:20,851 --> 00:04:22,851 Were you?Yes. 175 00:04:22,891 --> 00:04:23,091 Were you?Yes. 176 00:04:23,131 --> 00:04:25,131 Before the task was set?Yeah! 177 00:04:25,171 --> 00:04:26,091 Before the task was set?Yeah! 178 00:04:26,131 --> 00:04:28,131 You've got one of these attached to your towel rail. Yes. 179 00:04:28,171 --> 00:04:29,051 You've got one of these attached to your towel rail. Yes. 180 00:04:29,091 --> 00:04:31,091 And, yeah, you go up and down on that and, uh... 181 00:04:31,131 --> 00:04:32,011 And, yeah, you go up and down on that and, uh... 182 00:04:32,051 --> 00:04:34,051 Y-You've... ..give yourself a good scratch. 183 00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:34,491 Y-You've... ..give yourself a good scratch. 184 00:04:34,531 --> 00:04:36,531 You've imagined that I have some 185 00:04:36,571 --> 00:04:37,251 You've imagined that I have some 186 00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:39,291 difficult skin to slew off, have you? 187 00:04:39,331 --> 00:04:40,091 difficult skin to slew off, have you? 188 00:04:40,131 --> 00:04:41,531 No, it's skin health. 189 00:04:41,571 --> 00:04:43,571 It's an impressive load of bullshit for a brush. 190 00:04:43,611 --> 00:04:44,131 It's an impressive load of bullshit for a brush. 191 00:04:44,171 --> 00:04:45,571 LAUGHTER 192 00:04:45,611 --> 00:04:47,611 Joanne.Yes. Uh, can you beat a brush? Yes, you can. 193 00:04:47,651 --> 00:04:48,411 Joanne.Yes. Uh, can you beat a brush? Yes, you can. 194 00:04:48,451 --> 00:04:50,451 The present I've brought you this week, Greg, 195 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:51,731 The present I've brought you this week, Greg, 196 00:04:51,771 --> 00:04:53,371 is a trough. 197 00:04:53,411 --> 00:04:55,411 LAUGHTER 198 00:04:55,451 --> 00:04:55,691 LAUGHTER 199 00:04:55,731 --> 00:04:57,731 Here is...Here is Joanne's trough. Meant for an animal, 200 00:04:57,771 --> 00:04:59,291 Here is...Here is Joanne's trough. Meant for an animal, 201 00:04:59,331 --> 00:05:01,331 but better for a human. LAUGHTER 202 00:05:01,371 --> 00:05:01,651 but better for a human. LAUGHTER 203 00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:03,691 Yes. It's both insulting and yet appeals. 204 00:05:03,731 --> 00:05:04,971 Yes. It's both insulting and yet appeals. 205 00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:07,011 LAUGHTER Keep talking. 206 00:05:07,051 --> 00:05:07,331 LAUGHTER Keep talking. 207 00:05:07,371 --> 00:05:09,371 People are going back to the earth, building their own 208 00:05:09,411 --> 00:05:09,691 People are going back to the earth, building their own 209 00:05:09,731 --> 00:05:11,731 vegetable patches. I feel the trough is next. Is it? 210 00:05:11,771 --> 00:05:12,011 vegetable patches. I feel the trough is next. Is it? 211 00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:15,251 You're imagining trough parties, are you?Yeah. 212 00:05:15,291 --> 00:05:15,611 You're imagining trough parties, are you?Yeah. 213 00:05:16,851 --> 00:05:18,851 It's all very Bear Grylls-survival stuff. Is it?Yeah! 214 00:05:18,891 --> 00:05:20,051 It's all very Bear Grylls-survival stuff. Is it?Yeah! 215 00:05:20,091 --> 00:05:22,091 Yeah.It's very... LAUGHTER 216 00:05:22,131 --> 00:05:22,411 Yeah.It's very... LAUGHTER 217 00:05:22,451 --> 00:05:24,451 You know lads - they love making their own ham. 218 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:24,771 You know lads - they love making their own ham. 219 00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:26,771 This is, I feel like... LAUGHTER 220 00:05:26,811 --> 00:05:28,411 This is what's next. It'll be like... 221 00:05:28,451 --> 00:05:30,451 You quite often make your own ham. We're always making our own ham. 222 00:05:30,491 --> 00:05:31,171 You quite often make your own ham. We're always making our own ham. 223 00:05:31,211 --> 00:05:33,211 It's all... They're all going back to the land with the moustaches 224 00:05:33,251 --> 00:05:33,931 It's all... They're all going back to the land with the moustaches 225 00:05:33,971 --> 00:05:35,971 and eating off the ham hock and all, and I feel like this is next. 226 00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:36,531 and eating off the ham hock and all, and I feel like this is next. 227 00:05:36,571 --> 00:05:38,171 GREG WHEEZES 228 00:05:40,171 --> 00:05:41,331 Sophie, come on. 229 00:05:41,371 --> 00:05:42,971 I've gone in a different direction. 230 00:05:43,011 --> 00:05:44,411 Thank God. 231 00:05:44,451 --> 00:05:45,851 LAUGHTER 232 00:05:45,891 --> 00:05:47,891 Well, I've got a pet feeder. 233 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:48,851 Well, I've got a pet feeder. 234 00:05:48,891 --> 00:05:50,891 Yes, one of these timed cat feeders. Here it is. Timed cat feeder. 235 00:05:50,931 --> 00:05:52,171 Yes, one of these timed cat feeders. Here it is. Timed cat feeder. 236 00:05:52,211 --> 00:05:54,211 I thought it could be quite good for you. For me? 237 00:05:54,251 --> 00:05:54,731 I thought it could be quite good for you. For me? 238 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,331 LAUGHTER 239 00:05:56,371 --> 00:05:58,371 Just a little bit of discipline and structure in your life. 240 00:05:58,411 --> 00:05:59,011 Just a little bit of discipline and structure in your life. 241 00:05:59,051 --> 00:06:01,051 LAUGHTER 242 00:06:01,091 --> 00:06:01,331 LAUGHTER 243 00:06:01,371 --> 00:06:03,371 I mean, basically, what you're saying in that prize is 244 00:06:03,411 --> 00:06:03,691 I mean, basically, what you're saying in that prize is 245 00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:05,731 you're saying, "I think you're fat." 246 00:06:05,771 --> 00:06:06,051 you're saying, "I think you're fat." 247 00:06:06,091 --> 00:06:08,091 LAUGHTER I was worried about fat shaming. 248 00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:08,691 LAUGHTER I was worried about fat shaming. 249 00:06:08,731 --> 00:06:10,371 Yeah.I did ask the producer. 250 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:12,411 They said, "No, no, it'll be fine. He needs to hear it." 251 00:06:12,451 --> 00:06:13,051 They said, "No, no, it'll be fine. He needs to hear it." 252 00:06:17,171 --> 00:06:19,171 APPLAUSE 253 00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:19,371 APPLAUSE 254 00:06:21,971 --> 00:06:23,971 Well, I'll hand out some...some, uh, points. 255 00:06:24,011 --> 00:06:24,691 Well, I'll hand out some...some, uh, points. 256 00:06:24,731 --> 00:06:26,731 OK. You're going to start with the... With Nick, correct.Right. 257 00:06:26,771 --> 00:06:27,211 OK. You're going to start with the... With Nick, correct.Right. 258 00:06:27,251 --> 00:06:28,251 LAUGHTER 259 00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:29,491 So Nick gets one point. 260 00:06:29,531 --> 00:06:31,411 Steve, sorry. Two points. 261 00:06:31,451 --> 00:06:33,411 There we go, OK. Aw. I don't want Sophie 262 00:06:33,451 --> 00:06:35,451 to be in control of when I can have a treat. 263 00:06:35,491 --> 00:06:35,731 to be in control of when I can have a treat. 264 00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:36,771 LAUGHTER 265 00:06:36,811 --> 00:06:38,811 Are you sure? I'm pretty sure, so I'm giving her three points. 266 00:06:38,851 --> 00:06:39,331 Are you sure? I'm pretty sure, so I'm giving her three points. 267 00:06:39,371 --> 00:06:40,811 OK. Three to you, Sophie. Right. 268 00:06:40,851 --> 00:06:42,611 There's something about these young lads 269 00:06:42,651 --> 00:06:44,171 munching on the ham hocks that got me. 270 00:06:45,451 --> 00:06:47,451 Joanne, four points. And, uh, I just want the elephant chair. So... 271 00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,491 Joanne, four points. And, uh, I just want the elephant chair. So... 272 00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:49,811 Joanne, four points. And, uh, I just want the elephant chair. So... 273 00:06:49,851 --> 00:06:51,531 Fair enough! Five points to John Robins! 274 00:06:51,571 --> 00:06:53,571 Get your straps ready. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 275 00:06:53,611 --> 00:06:55,491 Get your straps ready. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 276 00:06:55,531 --> 00:06:57,051 Let's have a task proper, shall we? 277 00:06:57,091 --> 00:06:58,411 I don't want to alarm you, Greg, 278 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,451 but there's something mysterious lurking in our tent. 279 00:07:00,491 --> 00:07:00,731 but there's something mysterious lurking in our tent. 280 00:07:00,771 --> 00:07:02,011 THEY GASP 281 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:19,731 Hi, Joanne. 282 00:07:20,851 --> 00:07:22,851 Hi, John.Hello, Alex. LAUGHTER 283 00:07:22,891 --> 00:07:23,171 Hi, John.Hello, Alex. LAUGHTER 284 00:07:23,211 --> 00:07:25,211 You're taking extreme measures to keep the sun off your face. 285 00:07:25,251 --> 00:07:25,651 You're taking extreme measures to keep the sun off your face. 286 00:07:25,691 --> 00:07:27,691 Yeah, I feel like I should be in Gilead or something. 287 00:07:27,731 --> 00:07:28,331 Yeah, I feel like I should be in Gilead or something. 288 00:07:28,371 --> 00:07:30,371 Feel like I'm in Handmaiden's Tale. 289 00:07:30,411 --> 00:07:31,131 Feel like I'm in Handmaiden's Tale. 290 00:07:32,411 --> 00:07:34,411 Hey, Alex. Hello, Nick. LAUGHTER 291 00:07:34,451 --> 00:07:34,691 Hey, Alex. Hello, Nick. LAUGHTER 292 00:07:34,731 --> 00:07:36,411 How are ya? Wowsers. 293 00:07:37,731 --> 00:07:39,731 Work out who is following you. 294 00:07:39,771 --> 00:07:40,371 Work out who is following you. 295 00:07:40,411 --> 00:07:42,411 Oh! Oh, gosh. Work out who is following you. 296 00:07:42,451 --> 00:07:44,451 Oh! Oh, gosh. Work out who is following you. 297 00:07:44,491 --> 00:07:44,811 Oh! Oh, gosh. Work out who is following you. 298 00:07:44,851 --> 00:07:46,851 You must stare at the duck at all times. 299 00:07:46,891 --> 00:07:47,891 You must stare at the duck at all times. 300 00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:49,011 Yes. 301 00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,011 And take an average-length step 302 00:07:51,051 --> 00:07:53,051 towards the duck every time it quacks. 303 00:07:53,091 --> 00:07:53,371 towards the duck every time it quacks. 304 00:07:53,411 --> 00:07:55,411 If the person following you agrees with you, 305 00:07:55,451 --> 00:07:56,091 If the person following you agrees with you, 306 00:07:56,131 --> 00:07:58,131 they will say the name of a mammal. 307 00:07:58,171 --> 00:07:58,611 they will say the name of a mammal. 308 00:07:58,651 --> 00:08:00,651 {\an8}If the person following you disagrees with you, 309 00:08:00,691 --> 00:08:01,611 {\an8}If the person following you disagrees with you, 310 00:08:01,651 --> 00:08:03,651 they will say the name of a bird. 311 00:08:03,691 --> 00:08:03,971 they will say the name of a bird. 312 00:08:04,011 --> 00:08:05,891 If the person following you doesn't know 313 00:08:05,931 --> 00:08:07,931 if they agree or disagree with you, they will say 314 00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:09,971 the name of an amphibian, of course. 315 00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:10,251 the name of an amphibian, of course. 316 00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:12,291 I've very little animal experience. 317 00:08:12,331 --> 00:08:12,931 I've very little animal experience. 318 00:08:12,971 --> 00:08:14,851 Why have you got so little animal experience? 319 00:08:14,891 --> 00:08:16,891 Cos I didn't study zoology. I don't know what an amphibian is. 320 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:17,491 Cos I didn't study zoology. I don't know what an amphibian is. 321 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,531 Right.The correct answer furthest from the duck wins. 322 00:08:19,571 --> 00:08:20,891 Right.The correct answer furthest from the duck wins. 323 00:08:20,931 --> 00:08:22,931 Your time starts when the duck quacks. 324 00:08:22,971 --> 00:08:23,891 Your time starts when the duck quacks. 325 00:08:23,931 --> 00:08:25,931 When I say "now", press the green button.OK. 326 00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,051 When I say "now", press the green button.OK. 327 00:08:27,091 --> 00:08:28,691 {\an8}I'm going to release the follower. 328 00:08:28,731 --> 00:08:30,611 {\an8}You need to keep looking at the duck.All right. 329 00:08:32,931 --> 00:08:34,931 OK, Steve. You may press the green button. 330 00:08:34,971 --> 00:08:35,731 OK, Steve. You may press the green button. 331 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,691 {\an8}Oh! I'm so sorry. LAUGHTER 332 00:08:39,731 --> 00:08:40,331 {\an8}Oh! I'm so sorry. LAUGHTER 333 00:08:40,371 --> 00:08:42,011 Oh, my goodness. 334 00:08:42,051 --> 00:08:43,931 Argh! No, don't...don't start yet. 335 00:08:45,131 --> 00:08:47,131 Ow. Are you OK?Yes. 336 00:08:47,171 --> 00:08:47,891 Ow. Are you OK?Yes. 337 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,731 Joanne, tell me about your lack of experience with animals. 338 00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:54,371 Joanne, tell me about your lack of experience with animals. 339 00:08:54,411 --> 00:08:56,411 Isn't that terrible? I don't know what an amphibian is. Yeah. 340 00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:56,851 Isn't that terrible? I don't know what an amphibian is. Yeah. 341 00:08:56,891 --> 00:08:58,891 What is it? Like a fishy... 342 00:08:58,931 --> 00:08:59,131 What is it? Like a fishy... 343 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:00,771 Like a...You don't know either! 344 00:09:00,811 --> 00:09:02,371 Is it like a lizard?An amphibian 345 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:04,411 has an aquatic, gill-breathing larval stage, 346 00:09:04,451 --> 00:09:04,691 has an aquatic, gill-breathing larval stage, 347 00:09:04,731 --> 00:09:05,651 followed by, typically, 348 00:09:05,691 --> 00:09:07,531 a terrestrial lung-breathing adult stage. 349 00:09:07,571 --> 00:09:08,691 Huh! Yes, OK. 350 00:09:08,731 --> 00:09:10,731 Newts, salamanders and, obviously, caecilians. Love them. 351 00:09:10,771 --> 00:09:12,291 Newts, salamanders and, obviously, caecilians. Love them. 352 00:09:14,251 --> 00:09:16,251 Let's go. We begin with keen golfer John Robins 353 00:09:16,291 --> 00:09:16,971 Let's go. We begin with keen golfer John Robins 354 00:09:17,011 --> 00:09:19,011 being chased by a keen golf trolley. 355 00:09:19,051 --> 00:09:19,211 being chased by a keen golf trolley. 356 00:09:21,651 --> 00:09:22,931 Wait for the quack. 357 00:09:25,571 --> 00:09:27,531 QUACK Are you a man? 358 00:09:27,571 --> 00:09:29,571 Badger. Are you a sportsman? 359 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:30,051 Badger. Are you a sportsman? 360 00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,171 Crane. 361 00:09:31,211 --> 00:09:32,931 Are you a actor? 362 00:09:32,971 --> 00:09:34,371 Kiwi. 363 00:09:34,411 --> 00:09:36,411 Are you a politician? 364 00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:36,731 Are you a politician? 365 00:09:36,771 --> 00:09:37,931 Turtle dove. 366 00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:39,131 Are you famous? 367 00:09:39,171 --> 00:09:40,531 Wildebeest. 368 00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:41,851 Are you a chef? 369 00:09:43,011 --> 00:09:44,091 Common ostrich. 370 00:09:45,171 --> 00:09:46,731 I don't know what... Are you a comedian? 371 00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:48,971 Ruddy duck. 372 00:09:49,011 --> 00:09:50,811 Are you...Are you human? 373 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:51,891 Typical pigeon. 374 00:09:53,571 --> 00:09:55,571 {\an8}Are you a male...? Are you an animal? 375 00:09:55,611 --> 00:09:55,851 {\an8}Are you a male...? Are you an animal? 376 00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:56,771 {\an8}Yellow hammer. 377 00:09:56,811 --> 00:09:57,971 {\an8}Are you a robot? 378 00:09:58,011 --> 00:09:59,811 {\an8}Gouldian finch. 379 00:09:59,851 --> 00:10:01,851 So you're... Ah, hang on. 380 00:10:01,891 --> 00:10:02,091 So you're... Ah, hang on. 381 00:10:02,131 --> 00:10:04,131 You're male, but you're not human. 382 00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:04,371 You're male, but you're not human. 383 00:10:04,411 --> 00:10:06,011 And you're not an animal. 384 00:10:06,051 --> 00:10:08,051 {\an8}Are you some kind of connection for like a...? 385 00:10:08,091 --> 00:10:08,891 {\an8}Are you some kind of connection for like a...? 386 00:10:08,931 --> 00:10:10,931 {\an8}Are you a cable? LAUGHTER 387 00:10:10,971 --> 00:10:11,251 {\an8}Are you a cable? LAUGHTER 388 00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:13,291 {\an8}Short-toed treecreeper. 389 00:10:13,331 --> 00:10:13,731 {\an8}Short-toed treecreeper. 390 00:10:13,771 --> 00:10:15,771 Uh... Does your name begin with A? 391 00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:17,051 Uh... Does your name begin with A? 392 00:10:18,171 --> 00:10:19,171 {\an8}Emu. 393 00:10:19,211 --> 00:10:20,371 {\an8}Does your name begin with B? 394 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,731 {\an8}Olive baboon. 395 00:10:22,811 --> 00:10:24,331 And you're not hu... 396 00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:26,291 Are you a human? 397 00:10:26,331 --> 00:10:28,331 Californian condor. 398 00:10:28,371 --> 00:10:30,011 Do you have genitals? 399 00:10:30,051 --> 00:10:31,531 Holy cross frog. 400 00:10:31,571 --> 00:10:33,531 That's ambiguous. 401 00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:35,251 How is that ambiguous? 402 00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:36,411 Is the second letter 403 00:10:36,451 --> 00:10:37,451 of your name an R? 404 00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:38,491 Grey parrot. 405 00:10:38,531 --> 00:10:39,531 An L? 406 00:10:39,571 --> 00:10:40,651 Capybara. 407 00:10:40,691 --> 00:10:42,171 Uh... 408 00:10:42,211 --> 00:10:44,211 Is the third letter a vowel? 409 00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:44,531 Is the third letter a vowel? 410 00:10:44,571 --> 00:10:46,571 Malayan tapir. 411 00:10:46,611 --> 00:10:46,811 Malayan tapir. 412 00:10:46,851 --> 00:10:47,731 Is it A? 413 00:10:47,771 --> 00:10:48,851 Golden pheasant. 414 00:10:48,891 --> 00:10:50,451 {\an8}Is it E? Is it I? 415 00:10:50,491 --> 00:10:51,491 {\an8}O? 416 00:10:51,531 --> 00:10:52,531 {\an8}Pygmy hippopotamus. 417 00:10:52,571 --> 00:10:54,331 OK so B-L-O. 418 00:10:56,371 --> 00:10:58,171 Are you Mr Blobby? 419 00:10:58,211 --> 00:10:59,771 Bactrian camel. 420 00:10:59,811 --> 00:11:01,291 Yeah, so you're Mr Blobby. 421 00:11:01,331 --> 00:11:02,571 You may have a look. 422 00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,731 Fucking hell. Not bad! 423 00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:11,331 Fucking hell. Not bad! 424 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,371 APPLAUSE 425 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:15,411 Come on, you. Let's get you home. 426 00:11:15,451 --> 00:11:15,771 Come on, you. Let's get you home. 427 00:11:18,051 --> 00:11:19,611 Well done, John. 428 00:11:19,651 --> 00:11:21,651 Well, I guess we should briefly discuss, "Are you a cable?" 429 00:11:21,691 --> 00:11:22,051 Well, I guess we should briefly discuss, "Are you a cable?" 430 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,451 Cable is surely the only thing that's not human that has a gender. 431 00:11:26,491 --> 00:11:28,251 Cable is surely the only thing that's not human that has a gender. 432 00:11:28,291 --> 00:11:30,291 Oh.Like, male-to-female connections. Oh, I see! OK.Oh, wow. 433 00:11:30,331 --> 00:11:31,611 Oh.Like, male-to-female connections. Oh, I see! OK.Oh, wow. 434 00:11:31,651 --> 00:11:33,651 So I thought it might be a scart lead. 435 00:11:33,691 --> 00:11:33,891 So I thought it might be a scart lead. 436 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:39,571 Well, you got there. He was 19 paces from the duck. 437 00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:40,691 Well, you got there. He was 19 paces from the duck. 438 00:11:40,731 --> 00:11:42,731 OK. Let's see how Steve and Joanne got on with, 439 00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:43,171 OK. Let's see how Steve and Joanne got on with, 440 00:11:43,211 --> 00:11:45,131 to quote Joanne from episode one, 441 00:11:45,171 --> 00:11:47,171 "The best physical comedian of our generation." 442 00:11:47,211 --> 00:11:47,611 "The best physical comedian of our generation." 443 00:11:49,051 --> 00:11:51,051 QUACK Jesus Christ! 444 00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:51,291 QUACK Jesus Christ! 445 00:11:52,251 --> 00:11:54,291 QUACK 446 00:11:54,331 --> 00:11:56,331 {\an8}Hey, it's good being a man, isn't it? 447 00:11:56,371 --> 00:11:56,611 {\an8}Hey, it's good being a man, isn't it? 448 00:11:56,651 --> 00:11:57,531 {\an8}Badger. 449 00:11:57,571 --> 00:11:58,811 Are you a human? 450 00:11:58,851 --> 00:11:59,851 Kiwi. 451 00:11:59,891 --> 00:12:00,891 {\an8}Is a kiwi a mammal? 452 00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:02,171 {\an8}What the fuck is a kiwi? 453 00:12:02,211 --> 00:12:04,211 {\an8}LAUGHTER Keep stepping, Joanne. 454 00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:04,491 {\an8}LAUGHTER Keep stepping, Joanne. 455 00:12:04,531 --> 00:12:05,411 {\an8}So reading the news, 456 00:12:05,451 --> 00:12:06,451 {\an8}do you enjoy that? 457 00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:07,971 {\an8}Vulturine guinea fowl. 458 00:12:08,011 --> 00:12:09,211 {\an8}Another step please, Steve. 459 00:12:09,251 --> 00:12:10,931 {\an8}OK. Every quack. 460 00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:12,971 Are you...food? 461 00:12:13,011 --> 00:12:13,411 Are you...food? 462 00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:14,691 Glaucous gull. 463 00:12:14,731 --> 00:12:16,291 Are you a famous thing? 464 00:12:16,331 --> 00:12:17,411 Badger. 465 00:12:17,451 --> 00:12:19,451 Are you the Eiffel Tower, like, something like that? 466 00:12:19,491 --> 00:12:20,251 Are you the Eiffel Tower, like, something like that? 467 00:12:20,291 --> 00:12:21,571 Tawny frogmouth. 468 00:12:23,371 --> 00:12:25,011 What else is there? 469 00:12:25,051 --> 00:12:27,051 Being operated by another human is tough, right? 470 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:28,011 Being operated by another human is tough, right? 471 00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,051 Hairy-eared dwarf lemur. 472 00:12:30,091 --> 00:12:30,291 Hairy-eared dwarf lemur. 473 00:12:30,331 --> 00:12:32,331 {\an8}Can I get inside you? 474 00:12:32,371 --> 00:12:32,571 {\an8}Can I get inside you? 475 00:12:32,611 --> 00:12:34,611 {\an8}LAUGHTER 476 00:12:34,651 --> 00:12:34,851 {\an8}LAUGHTER 477 00:12:34,891 --> 00:12:35,811 Aardvark. 478 00:12:38,371 --> 00:12:40,211 Are you a glove puppet? 479 00:12:40,251 --> 00:12:41,291 Gouldian finch. 480 00:12:41,331 --> 00:12:42,651 {\an8}Are you some kind of 481 00:12:42,691 --> 00:12:44,291 {\an8}children's TV character? 482 00:12:44,331 --> 00:12:46,331 {\an8}QUACK Pygmy jerboa. A jerboa! 483 00:12:46,371 --> 00:12:46,651 {\an8}QUACK Pygmy jerboa. A jerboa! 484 00:12:46,691 --> 00:12:48,691 Please step. LAUGHTER 485 00:12:48,731 --> 00:12:48,971 Please step. LAUGHTER 486 00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:50,251 Do you have a one-word name? 487 00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:51,411 Northern shoveler. 488 00:12:51,451 --> 00:12:53,451 Oh! Is it Mr something? 489 00:12:53,491 --> 00:12:53,691 Oh! Is it Mr something? 490 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,491 Rondo dwarf bushbaby. 491 00:12:55,531 --> 00:12:57,011 OK, Mr something. 492 00:12:57,051 --> 00:12:59,051 {\an8}Have I met you? Have I been in you? 493 00:12:59,091 --> 00:12:59,291 {\an8}Have I met you? Have I been in you? 494 00:12:59,331 --> 00:13:01,211 {\an8}Common midwife toad. 495 00:13:01,251 --> 00:13:02,291 What's that? 496 00:13:02,331 --> 00:13:04,331 We don't know if you've met him or her. 497 00:13:04,371 --> 00:13:04,811 We don't know if you've met him or her. 498 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:06,531 {\an8}Has it been on telly? 499 00:13:06,571 --> 00:13:07,771 {\an8}Olive baboon. 500 00:13:10,371 --> 00:13:11,931 {\an8}Are you Mr Blobby? 501 00:13:11,971 --> 00:13:13,811 {\an8}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS Donkey. 502 00:13:13,851 --> 00:13:15,771 What's that? QUACK 503 00:13:15,811 --> 00:13:17,091 Amphibian? 504 00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:18,491 LAUGHTER Does that mean they don't know 505 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:19,571 if they're Mr Blobby? 506 00:13:21,171 --> 00:13:23,051 {\an8}QUACK Sorry, her replies are more 507 00:13:23,091 --> 00:13:25,091 {\an8}confusing than anything else. 508 00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:25,491 {\an8}confusing than anything else. 509 00:13:25,531 --> 00:13:27,531 Is it B, C, D, F, G, H? 510 00:13:27,571 --> 00:13:28,691 Is it B, C, D, F, G, H? 511 00:13:28,731 --> 00:13:30,011 Eurasian lynx. 512 00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:31,131 Is it B, C? 513 00:13:31,171 --> 00:13:32,371 Etruscan shrew. 514 00:13:32,411 --> 00:13:33,851 So it's... Is it B? 515 00:13:33,891 --> 00:13:35,091 Slender loris. 516 00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:37,131 Mr B. Mr Bojangles. 517 00:13:37,171 --> 00:13:37,371 Mr B. Mr Bojangles. 518 00:13:37,411 --> 00:13:38,691 Are you Mr Blobby? 519 00:13:38,731 --> 00:13:40,731 Bengal tiger. QUACK 520 00:13:40,771 --> 00:13:42,771 That's a tiger. QUACK 521 00:13:42,811 --> 00:13:43,051 That's a tiger. QUACK 522 00:13:43,091 --> 00:13:44,651 Agrees. 523 00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,691 {\an8}Mr...Blobby! 524 00:13:46,731 --> 00:13:47,491 {\an8}Mr...Blobby! 525 00:13:47,531 --> 00:13:49,531 Exotic Shorthair cat. QUACK 526 00:13:49,571 --> 00:13:50,011 Exotic Shorthair cat. QUACK 527 00:13:51,851 --> 00:13:53,851 I'm stopping there cos I think I'm right. 528 00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:54,131 I'm stopping there cos I think I'm right. 529 00:13:54,171 --> 00:13:56,171 So you ARE Mr Blobby. Fuck off! 530 00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:56,411 So you ARE Mr Blobby. Fuck off! 531 00:13:56,451 --> 00:13:57,851 Ah! Oh, my God! 532 00:14:00,251 --> 00:14:01,651 Come on, Blob. 533 00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:08,211 I don't want him.It's coming for you, baby. 534 00:14:12,211 --> 00:14:14,171 LAUGHTER 535 00:14:19,211 --> 00:14:20,571 Well, Steve. 536 00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,611 If someone said Mr B, I wouldn't have gone Bojangles. 537 00:14:22,651 --> 00:14:23,891 If someone said Mr B, I wouldn't have gone Bojangles. 538 00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,931 Hearing the quacks with the Handmaid's Tale bonnet on, 539 00:14:25,971 --> 00:14:27,011 Hearing the quacks with the Handmaid's Tale bonnet on, 540 00:14:27,051 --> 00:14:29,051 thinking about statements that had to be not questions, 541 00:14:29,091 --> 00:14:30,651 thinking about statements that had to be not questions, 542 00:14:30,691 --> 00:14:32,691 being chased by Mr fucking Blobby... LAUGHTER 543 00:14:32,731 --> 00:14:33,971 being chased by Mr fucking Blobby... LAUGHTER 544 00:14:34,011 --> 00:14:36,011 That is his first name. ..who kept hitting you. 545 00:14:36,051 --> 00:14:36,331 That is his first name. ..who kept hitting you. 546 00:14:36,371 --> 00:14:38,371 So like John, I only came up with the sort of alphabet thing 547 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,371 So like John, I only came up with the sort of alphabet thing 548 00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:41,411 when the duck was pretty close. 15 paces from the duck. 549 00:14:41,451 --> 00:14:42,571 when the duck was pretty close. 15 paces from the duck. 550 00:14:42,611 --> 00:14:44,611 Joanne.Yeah. It's quite the contrast to 551 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,051 Joanne.Yeah. It's quite the contrast to 552 00:14:45,091 --> 00:14:47,091 the forensic things we've seen so far.Uh-huh. 553 00:14:47,131 --> 00:14:48,171 the forensic things we've seen so far.Uh-huh. 554 00:14:48,211 --> 00:14:50,211 Uh, "Is a kiwi a mammal?" 555 00:14:50,251 --> 00:14:51,131 Uh, "Is a kiwi a mammal?" 556 00:14:51,171 --> 00:14:53,171 Pause. "What's a fucking kiwi?" 557 00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:53,891 Pause. "What's a fucking kiwi?" 558 00:14:53,931 --> 00:14:55,171 LAUGHTER 559 00:14:55,211 --> 00:14:57,211 And then you went, "If you're not human, 560 00:14:57,251 --> 00:14:58,051 And then you went, "If you're not human, 561 00:14:58,091 --> 00:15:00,091 "you must be the Eiffel Tower." The Eiffel Tower. 562 00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:01,371 "you must be the Eiffel Tower." The Eiffel Tower. 563 00:15:02,891 --> 00:15:04,891 Then your next question was, 564 00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:05,131 Then your next question was, 565 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,171 "Can I get inside you?"Yeah. 566 00:15:07,211 --> 00:15:07,691 "Can I get inside you?"Yeah. 567 00:15:07,731 --> 00:15:09,731 So I'm thinking, "Is it a building?" Ah!"Can I step inside you?" 568 00:15:09,771 --> 00:15:11,771 So I'm thinking, "Is it a building?" Ah!"Can I step inside you?" 569 00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:12,691 So I'm thinking, "Is it a building?" Ah!"Can I step inside you?" 570 00:15:12,731 --> 00:15:14,731 Not, "Can I, like, penetrate you?" Oh, right. Yeah. 571 00:15:14,771 --> 00:15:15,571 Not, "Can I, like, penetrate you?" Oh, right. Yeah. 572 00:15:15,611 --> 00:15:17,491 But you were kind of hurling out just objects. 573 00:15:17,531 --> 00:15:19,531 And then, suddenly - Blobby. Yeah. 574 00:15:19,571 --> 00:15:19,811 And then, suddenly - Blobby. Yeah. 575 00:15:19,851 --> 00:15:21,851 And that's because your go-to thing is Blob. 576 00:15:21,891 --> 00:15:22,171 And that's because your go-to thing is Blob. 577 00:15:22,211 --> 00:15:24,211 I genuinely am a really big Mr Blobby fan. 578 00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:24,531 I genuinely am a really big Mr Blobby fan. 579 00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:26,371 Think he's amazing. I tried to buy his outfit. 580 00:15:26,411 --> 00:15:28,011 Do you remember he went on sale? Yeah! 581 00:15:28,051 --> 00:15:30,051 I mean, the woman's Blobby-obsessed! 582 00:15:30,091 --> 00:15:30,531 I mean, the woman's Blobby-obsessed! 583 00:15:30,571 --> 00:15:32,571 And it really helped. She got to the correct answer 584 00:15:32,611 --> 00:15:32,851 And it really helped. She got to the correct answer 585 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:34,171 much before the other two. 586 00:15:34,211 --> 00:15:36,211 She got 26 steps away from the duck, 587 00:15:36,251 --> 00:15:36,491 She got 26 steps away from the duck, 588 00:15:36,531 --> 00:15:38,531 and that was after not believing it was Blobby. She carried on 589 00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:38,851 and that was after not believing it was Blobby. She carried on 590 00:15:38,891 --> 00:15:40,891 stepping for quite a while after getting the correct answer. 591 00:15:40,931 --> 00:15:41,251 stepping for quite a while after getting the correct answer. 592 00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:43,291 And she was overjoyed when she turned around and saw her hero. 593 00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:43,931 And she was overjoyed when she turned around and saw her hero. 594 00:15:43,971 --> 00:15:45,971 Right.So, yeah, at the moment, it's Joanne, then John, then Steve. 595 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,051 Right.So, yeah, at the moment, it's Joanne, then John, then Steve. 596 00:15:47,091 --> 00:15:48,411 All right, advert time now. 597 00:15:48,451 --> 00:15:50,451 Hopefully, one of them will make health claims for 598 00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:50,971 Hopefully, one of them will make health claims for 599 00:15:51,011 --> 00:15:53,011 a food that they know full well is pumped full of sugar. 600 00:15:53,051 --> 00:15:54,211 a food that they know full well is pumped full of sugar. 601 00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:55,651 See you in a minute. 602 00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:07,130 Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster. 603 00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:08,210 Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster. 604 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,250 What were our contestants doing in a field, young man? 605 00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:11,050 What were our contestants doing in a field, young man? 606 00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,090 Well, it's a fine question. They were trying to work out 607 00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:13,410 Well, it's a fine question. They were trying to work out 608 00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,450 who's following them on an automatic golf trolley, Greg. 609 00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:15,930 who's following them on an automatic golf trolley, Greg. 610 00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:17,690 They can ask questions or make statements. 611 00:16:17,730 --> 00:16:19,730 If the person agrees, they'll hear a mammal in response. 612 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,010 If the person agrees, they'll hear a mammal in response. 613 00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:21,050 If they disagree, it's a bird. 614 00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:23,090 And if it's ambiguous, they'll hear an amphibian 615 00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:25,130 because it sounds a little bit like ambiguous. LAUGHTER 616 00:16:25,170 --> 00:16:25,490 because it sounds a little bit like ambiguous. LAUGHTER 617 00:16:25,530 --> 00:16:27,530 Finally, how long will it take Nick and Sophie to work out that 618 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,010 Finally, how long will it take Nick and Sophie to work out that 619 00:16:28,050 --> 00:16:30,050 Mr Blobby's following them? Here we go. 620 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:30,890 Mr Blobby's following them? Here we go. 621 00:16:30,930 --> 00:16:32,930 QUACK Erm... 622 00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:33,450 QUACK Erm... 623 00:16:33,490 --> 00:16:35,090 Have you got blonde hair? 624 00:16:35,130 --> 00:16:37,130 {\an8}Kiwi. Kiwi?! 625 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:37,530 {\an8}Kiwi. Kiwi?! 626 00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:39,570 {\an8}That's a fruit! LAUGHTER 627 00:16:39,610 --> 00:16:40,050 {\an8}That's a fruit! LAUGHTER 628 00:16:40,090 --> 00:16:42,090 Are you, uh, human? 629 00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:43,410 Are you, uh, human? 630 00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:44,890 Kiwi. 631 00:16:44,930 --> 00:16:46,930 Are you smaller than a large tree? 632 00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:47,570 Are you smaller than a large tree? 633 00:16:47,610 --> 00:16:48,690 Donkey. 634 00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,090 {\an8}Are we friends from school? 635 00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:52,130 {\an8}LAUGHTER No, no, no, cos it's... 636 00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:52,970 {\an8}LAUGHTER No, no, no, cos it's... 637 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:55,010 Did I meet you in the last five years? 638 00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:55,290 Did I meet you in the last five years? 639 00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,210 Common midwife toad. 640 00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,250 Ugh! Do you have four legs? 641 00:16:59,290 --> 00:16:59,490 Ugh! Do you have four legs? 642 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:01,450 Californian condor. 643 00:17:01,490 --> 00:17:02,810 Do you have two legs? 644 00:17:02,850 --> 00:17:04,170 Bengal tiger. 645 00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:05,890 Are you over 30? 646 00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:07,930 Donkey. OK. 647 00:17:07,970 --> 00:17:08,330 Donkey. OK. 648 00:17:08,370 --> 00:17:10,370 Have you used an Excel sheet? 649 00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:10,850 Have you used an Excel sheet? 650 00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:12,890 LAUGHTER 651 00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,290 Glaucous gull. 652 00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:16,010 Are you on TV? 653 00:17:16,050 --> 00:17:17,490 Pygmy jerboa. 654 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,370 Are you on BBC? 655 00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:20,810 Capybara. 656 00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:22,850 Oh, no. This duck's approaching. 657 00:17:22,890 --> 00:17:24,890 Have we ever been drunk together? LAUGHTER 658 00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:26,410 Have we ever been drunk together? LAUGHTER 659 00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:28,290 Common mudpuppy. 660 00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:30,330 {\an8}That means, yeah, I think. Doesn't it? 661 00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:31,250 {\an8}That means, yeah, I think. Doesn't it? 662 00:17:31,290 --> 00:17:33,130 Oh, I can't wait... If you get to the duck, 663 00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:35,090 you can just keep sort of pacing at the duck 664 00:17:35,130 --> 00:17:36,770 and we'll just do it on time instead. 665 00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:37,810 Uh, British? 666 00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:39,290 Pygmy hippopotamus. 667 00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:40,570 Oh, you ARE British. 668 00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:41,810 Are you an athlete? 669 00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:42,890 Northern shoveler. 670 00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:44,410 Are you a cartoon character? 671 00:17:44,450 --> 00:17:45,810 Are you a big grasshopper? 672 00:17:45,850 --> 00:17:47,690 Are you a mascot of some kind? 673 00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,730 Are you on the box of any kind of food-related stuff? 674 00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:50,930 Are you on the box of any kind of food-related stuff? 675 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,290 Is it Alex? 676 00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:54,370 LAUGHTER All right. Erm, yeah. 677 00:17:54,410 --> 00:17:56,410 I think you're just going to stay here with the duck.Am I? Oh, right. OK. 678 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,690 I think you're just going to stay here with the duck.Am I? Oh, right. OK. 679 00:17:57,730 --> 00:17:59,730 Are you on a particular time of day? Mid-afternoon? 680 00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:00,330 Are you on a particular time of day? Mid-afternoon? 681 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:01,490 Crane. 682 00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:02,530 Early evening? 683 00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:04,610 Possum. 684 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,010 QUACK OK. 685 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,050 Right. So I can take the duck where I want? 686 00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:08,690 Right. So I can take the duck where I want? 687 00:18:08,730 --> 00:18:10,410 {\an8}If you want, yeah.Oh! Oh! 688 00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:12,450 {\an8}I'm so sorry, I saw him. LAUGHTER 689 00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:12,730 {\an8}I'm so sorry, I saw him. LAUGHTER 690 00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:14,210 I saw him! 691 00:18:14,250 --> 00:18:16,250 QUACK It's Mr Blobby! 692 00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:16,530 QUACK It's Mr Blobby! 693 00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:18,130 Pygmy jerboa. 694 00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:19,810 You're welcome to say hello to Mr Blobby. 695 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:21,850 Yeah, thank you. God! 696 00:18:21,890 --> 00:18:22,130 Yeah, thank you. God! 697 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:24,130 {\an8}BBC, larger than a human 698 00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:26,170 {\an8}but smaller than a large tree, 699 00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:26,650 {\an8}but smaller than a large tree, 700 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,690 {\an8}walks on two legs. DUCK QUACKS 701 00:18:28,730 --> 00:18:28,930 {\an8}walks on two legs. DUCK QUACKS 702 00:18:31,770 --> 00:18:33,770 {\an8}On BBC One? LAUGHTER 703 00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:34,450 {\an8}On BBC One? LAUGHTER 704 00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:37,610 Pangolin. 705 00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,010 {\an8}OK. 706 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,050 {\an8}What's on at that time? 707 00:18:46,090 --> 00:18:46,290 {\an8}What's on at that time? 708 00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:47,610 {\an8}Mr Blobby? 709 00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:48,890 {\an8}CHEERING 710 00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:50,930 {\an8}Pink fairy armadillo. 711 00:18:50,970 --> 00:18:51,890 {\an8}Pink fairy armadillo. 712 00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,930 {\an8}Yaaaaaay! 713 00:18:53,970 --> 00:18:54,810 {\an8}Yaaaaaay! 714 00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:01,410 I mean, the question I've got, Nick, is that you asked every 715 00:19:01,450 --> 00:19:02,410 I mean, the question I've got, Nick, is that you asked every 716 00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,450 question about every subject ever... Yes. ..before you arrived at Blobby. 717 00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:06,450 question about every subject ever... Yes. ..before you arrived at Blobby. 718 00:19:06,490 --> 00:19:08,490 Yeah, that was, I mean, just to do it by process of elimination. 719 00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:09,050 Yeah, that was, I mean, just to do it by process of elimination. 720 00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:10,330 I guess that's what that was. 721 00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:12,010 By eliminating everything in the world? 722 00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:14,050 In the world. In the universe. Yeah, yeah. 723 00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:14,570 In the world. In the universe. Yeah, yeah. 724 00:19:14,610 --> 00:19:16,290 I like the question, 725 00:19:16,330 --> 00:19:18,330 "Are you smaller than a large tree?" 726 00:19:18,370 --> 00:19:18,850 "Are you smaller than a large tree?" 727 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,370 Cos how tall's a tree? A tree can be various sizes. Wow. 728 00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:23,810 Cos how tall's a tree? A tree can be various sizes. Wow. 729 00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:25,850 I mean, one of the great philosophical questions of our time. 730 00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:27,650 I mean, one of the great philosophical questions of our time. 731 00:19:27,690 --> 00:19:29,690 How large is large? How large IS large? 732 00:19:29,730 --> 00:19:30,530 How large is large? How large IS large? 733 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,570 This is large.You're larger than me, yeah. LAUGHTER 734 00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:33,130 This is large.You're larger than me, yeah. LAUGHTER 735 00:19:33,170 --> 00:19:34,570 Small.Yeah. 736 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,050 Was there a logic to Sophie's questions? 737 00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:38,450 Was there a logic to Sophie's questions? 738 00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:42,450 I've written some down. 739 00:19:42,490 --> 00:19:42,730 I've written some down. 740 00:19:42,770 --> 00:19:44,410 "Have I met you in the last five years?" 741 00:19:46,290 --> 00:19:48,170 "Have I got drunk with you?" 742 00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:50,210 "Have you used an Excel sheet?" 743 00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,410 "Have you used an Excel sheet?" 744 00:19:52,570 --> 00:19:54,570 I mean, you literally sound like a dropped Alexa. 745 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,410 I mean, you literally sound like a dropped Alexa. 746 00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,610 I just thought you were going to do something 747 00:19:59,650 --> 00:20:01,650 a bit like Surprise Surprise. I thought you were going to... 748 00:20:01,690 --> 00:20:02,330 a bit like Surprise Surprise. I thought you were going to... 749 00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,370 I thought it could've been my mate Amy, to be honest. Right. 750 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,890 I thought it could've been my mate Amy, to be honest. Right. 751 00:20:05,930 --> 00:20:07,930 I was really thinking she was going to pop out. Yeah. 752 00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:08,290 I was really thinking she was going to pop out. Yeah. 753 00:20:08,330 --> 00:20:10,330 And that we'd mounted her on a golf trolley?Yeah. LAUGHTER 754 00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:11,170 And that we'd mounted her on a golf trolley?Yeah. LAUGHTER 755 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,170 Obviously, Sophie can't have a point, can she? 756 00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:15,130 Cos she saw Blobby. AUDIENCE:Aw! 757 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,370 I know. Terrible, actually. 758 00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:18,410 Tough shit. LAUGHTER 759 00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:18,690 Tough shit. LAUGHTER 760 00:20:18,730 --> 00:20:20,050 Shall we give out the points? Yes. 761 00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:22,090 Well, it's Sophie, unfortunately, zero. 762 00:20:22,130 --> 00:20:22,410 Well, it's Sophie, unfortunately, zero. 763 00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:24,090 Two points to Nick, three to Steve, four to John. 764 00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:25,650 But the winner, the future Mrs Blobby, 765 00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:27,410 is Joanne McNally! Whoa! 766 00:20:27,450 --> 00:20:28,410 CHEERING 767 00:20:30,890 --> 00:20:32,650 May I see a scoreboard, please? 768 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,690 At the bottom, and it's been typical of the series so far, 769 00:20:34,730 --> 00:20:35,010 At the bottom, and it's been typical of the series so far, 770 00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,850 we've got Sophie and Nick with three points. 771 00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:38,890 At the top, it's John and Joanne, both with nine points. 772 00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:39,130 At the top, it's John and Joanne, both with nine points. 773 00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:45,530 Good. What's next? 774 00:20:45,570 --> 00:20:47,090 Ooh! Oh, no. 775 00:20:47,130 --> 00:20:49,130 It's childcare. AUDIENCE: Ooh! 776 00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:49,730 It's childcare. AUDIENCE: Ooh! 777 00:20:51,610 --> 00:20:53,610 BABY CRIES 778 00:20:53,650 --> 00:20:54,490 BABY CRIES 779 00:21:00,090 --> 00:21:02,090 Hi. Hi, and congratulations. 780 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,490 Hi. Hi, and congratulations. 781 00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:05,530 Thank you. This takes me back. 782 00:21:05,570 --> 00:21:05,930 Thank you. This takes me back. 783 00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,730 Have you worn one of them before? 784 00:21:08,770 --> 00:21:10,770 Well, in my head it's a bulletproof vest. 785 00:21:10,810 --> 00:21:11,570 Well, in my head it's a bulletproof vest. 786 00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:13,610 And I am Detective Robins, homicide. 787 00:21:13,650 --> 00:21:14,330 And I am Detective Robins, homicide. 788 00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:16,370 Oh, hi, Joanne.What's going on? 789 00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:17,010 Oh, hi, Joanne.What's going on? 790 00:21:17,050 --> 00:21:18,410 You've got to look after a baby. 791 00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:21,570 {\an8}What is it? 792 00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:23,610 I'll pop her or him in. I can't remember the gender. 793 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,650 I'll pop her or him in. I can't remember the gender. 794 00:21:24,690 --> 00:21:25,850 Oh, God. 795 00:21:25,890 --> 00:21:27,610 Ah! 796 00:21:27,650 --> 00:21:29,650 {\an8}There we go. Nothing to be frightened of. 797 00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:30,450 {\an8}There we go. Nothing to be frightened of. 798 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,490 This is actually quite comfortable. Good. 799 00:21:32,530 --> 00:21:32,770 This is actually quite comfortable. Good. 800 00:21:32,810 --> 00:21:34,210 Nice on the shoulders. 801 00:21:35,410 --> 00:21:37,410 {\an8}Complete the jobstacle course. 802 00:21:37,450 --> 00:21:38,330 {\an8}Complete the jobstacle course. 803 00:21:38,370 --> 00:21:40,370 Each job must completed to a satisfactory-quality level. 804 00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:42,370 Each job must completed to a satisfactory-quality level. 805 00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:44,410 {\an8}The baby must remain in the baby carrier at all times 806 00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:44,930 {\an8}The baby must remain in the baby carrier at all times 807 00:21:44,970 --> 00:21:46,970 {\an8}except during nappy change. Yes.Yes. 808 00:21:47,010 --> 00:21:47,770 {\an8}except during nappy change. Yes.Yes. 809 00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:49,770 You must complete the jobstacle course 810 00:21:49,810 --> 00:21:51,330 within eight minutes. 811 00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:53,370 The least baby spilled wins. 812 00:21:53,410 --> 00:21:53,810 The least baby spilled wins. 813 00:21:53,850 --> 00:21:55,650 I'd actually like to spill a bit of it. 814 00:21:57,090 --> 00:21:59,090 LAUGHTER We want a wet baby and a dry Steve. 815 00:21:59,130 --> 00:22:01,130 LAUGHTER We want a wet baby and a dry Steve. 816 00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:02,090 LAUGHTER We want a wet baby and a dry Steve. 817 00:22:02,130 --> 00:22:03,970 Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle. 818 00:22:04,010 --> 00:22:05,930 WHISTLE BLOWS Oh, God. 819 00:22:08,210 --> 00:22:10,210 Nick looks terrified of the baby. 820 00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:12,250 I've got three kids! Have you really got three kids? 821 00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:12,570 I've got three kids! Have you really got three kids? 822 00:22:12,610 --> 00:22:14,610 Yeah, genuinely. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah, I have, yeah. It is! 823 00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:15,930 Yeah, genuinely. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah, I have, yeah. It is! 824 00:22:15,970 --> 00:22:17,690 Sorry, kids. 825 00:22:19,210 --> 00:22:21,210 Let's crack on.All right, then. The first to look after 826 00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,090 Let's crack on.All right, then. The first to look after 827 00:22:22,130 --> 00:22:24,130 the big wet baby are Joanne and Sophie. 828 00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:24,370 the big wet baby are Joanne and Sophie. 829 00:22:25,370 --> 00:22:27,370 I think my approach is going to be to glide. 830 00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:28,730 I think my approach is going to be to glide. 831 00:22:28,770 --> 00:22:30,770 Swift, fast and smooth, like a swan. Do the dishes. 832 00:22:30,810 --> 00:22:32,810 Swift, fast and smooth, like a swan. Do the dishes. 833 00:22:32,850 --> 00:22:33,090 Swift, fast and smooth, like a swan. Do the dishes. 834 00:22:33,130 --> 00:22:35,090 They're in the caravan. 835 00:22:35,130 --> 00:22:37,130 I am curious about motherhood, so I think this'll be good for me. 836 00:22:37,170 --> 00:22:37,690 I am curious about motherhood, so I think this'll be good for me. 837 00:22:37,730 --> 00:22:38,890 Yeah, this'll be a good test. 838 00:22:39,930 --> 00:22:41,210 Like a swan. 839 00:22:42,930 --> 00:22:44,930 Daddy Horne hanging around outside doing fuck all. 840 00:22:44,970 --> 00:22:46,010 Daddy Horne hanging around outside doing fuck all. 841 00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:48,050 LAUGHTER 842 00:22:48,090 --> 00:22:48,250 LAUGHTER 843 00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:51,530 That's it. Done. 844 00:22:52,570 --> 00:22:54,570 Oh! That was unfortunate. 845 00:22:54,610 --> 00:22:54,770 Oh! That was unfortunate. 846 00:22:56,490 --> 00:22:57,930 Ah, now. 847 00:22:57,970 --> 00:22:59,890 Alex, pick up the basket. 848 00:22:59,930 --> 00:23:01,050 {\an8}I'll pick up the basket. 849 00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,810 {\an8}And the thing... I can't pick up the thing. 850 00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:07,410 Bend from the knees. 851 00:23:08,850 --> 00:23:10,010 Now. 852 00:23:13,570 --> 00:23:14,570 Oh, no. 853 00:23:16,130 --> 00:23:17,970 His shoes need cleaning now. 854 00:23:19,930 --> 00:23:21,770 Argh. 855 00:23:21,810 --> 00:23:23,810 The state of your shoes, Greg. 856 00:23:23,850 --> 00:23:25,850 I'm trying to raise a jug of water here. LAUGHTER 857 00:23:25,890 --> 00:23:26,810 I'm trying to raise a jug of water here. LAUGHTER 858 00:23:27,930 --> 00:23:29,930 There's a suffragette turning in her grave somewhere. LAUGHTER 859 00:23:29,970 --> 00:23:31,970 There's a suffragette turning in her grave somewhere. LAUGHTER 860 00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:32,290 There's a suffragette turning in her grave somewhere. LAUGHTER 861 00:23:32,330 --> 00:23:33,570 Oh, fabulous. Done. 862 00:23:34,770 --> 00:23:36,770 OK. Does your big wet baby have a name? 863 00:23:36,810 --> 00:23:37,530 OK. Does your big wet baby have a name? 864 00:23:37,570 --> 00:23:39,490 Juicy. LAUGHTER 865 00:23:41,210 --> 00:23:42,290 Get in. Get in. 866 00:23:42,330 --> 00:23:43,770 This is why women breast-feed, 867 00:23:43,810 --> 00:23:45,210 cos this is a pain in the hole. 868 00:23:46,490 --> 00:23:48,490 Watch your own baby, yeah. 869 00:23:48,530 --> 00:23:48,770 Watch your own baby, yeah. 870 00:23:48,810 --> 00:23:50,810 Is the last one done?Yeah. WHISTLE BLOWS 871 00:23:50,850 --> 00:23:51,290 Is the last one done?Yeah. WHISTLE BLOWS 872 00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:53,330 Whack it in, whack it in. WHISTLE BLOWS 873 00:23:53,370 --> 00:23:54,050 Whack it in, whack it in. WHISTLE BLOWS 874 00:23:54,090 --> 00:23:55,170 Thank you. 875 00:23:59,250 --> 00:24:01,250 I think it's very impressive, Joanne, for you to make points about 876 00:24:01,290 --> 00:24:02,250 I think it's very impressive, Joanne, for you to make points about 877 00:24:02,290 --> 00:24:04,290 the patriarchy when you've got a bucket of water strapped to you. 878 00:24:04,330 --> 00:24:05,250 the patriarchy when you've got a bucket of water strapped to you. 879 00:24:05,290 --> 00:24:06,530 Any excuse. 880 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:08,570 Can you tell me statistics about who was the most effective parent? 881 00:24:08,610 --> 00:24:09,570 Can you tell me statistics about who was the most effective parent? 882 00:24:09,610 --> 00:24:11,610 Sophie spilt a fifth of her baby, 883 00:24:11,650 --> 00:24:12,090 Sophie spilt a fifth of her baby, 884 00:24:12,130 --> 00:24:14,130 used some of the baby to clean the shoes with. Ah! 885 00:24:14,170 --> 00:24:14,690 used some of the baby to clean the shoes with. Ah! 886 00:24:15,770 --> 00:24:17,770 I spilt some out at the start. Yeah. Cos I was like, 887 00:24:17,810 --> 00:24:18,170 I spilt some out at the start. Yeah. Cos I was like, 888 00:24:18,210 --> 00:24:20,210 "That's going to go anyway. I might as well get rid of it." 889 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:20,610 "That's going to go anyway. I might as well get rid of it." 890 00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:22,650 Not stress it. Speed up. Yeah, you only spilt a sixth of your baby, 891 00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:23,450 Not stress it. Speed up. Yeah, you only spilt a sixth of your baby, 892 00:24:23,490 --> 00:24:25,290 so you are currently in the lead, Joanne. 893 00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:27,330 Next up, it's two dads of three - it's Nick and it's Steve. 894 00:24:27,370 --> 00:24:29,370 Next up, it's two dads of three - it's Nick and it's Steve. 895 00:24:29,410 --> 00:24:30,450 Next up, it's two dads of three - it's Nick and it's Steve. 896 00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:32,490 OK, let's do the shoes first. 897 00:24:32,530 --> 00:24:32,930 OK, let's do the shoes first. 898 00:24:32,970 --> 00:24:34,970 Oh, God. Right, here we go. 899 00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:35,410 Oh, God. Right, here we go. 900 00:24:35,450 --> 00:24:37,290 For... Oh, what am I going to clean them with? 901 00:24:37,330 --> 00:24:39,330 Oh, I can't use the baby! 902 00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:39,610 Oh, I can't use the baby! 903 00:24:39,650 --> 00:24:40,930 Sorry, baby. 904 00:24:40,970 --> 00:24:42,930 Just... I'm patting the baby's head. 905 00:24:42,970 --> 00:24:44,970 Baby's fine, though. Argh! Baby's fine. 906 00:24:45,010 --> 00:24:45,650 Baby's fine, though. Argh! Baby's fine. 907 00:24:45,690 --> 00:24:47,690 You're not cleaning with the baby at all, are you? 908 00:24:47,730 --> 00:24:48,130 You're not cleaning with the baby at all, are you? 909 00:24:48,170 --> 00:24:50,170 A little bit of her went in the...in the soapy water. 910 00:24:50,210 --> 00:24:50,930 A little bit of her went in the...in the soapy water. 911 00:24:50,970 --> 00:24:52,970 # With rings on her fingers 912 00:24:53,010 --> 00:24:53,610 # With rings on her fingers 913 00:24:53,650 --> 00:24:55,650 # And bells on her toes... # 914 00:24:55,690 --> 00:24:56,170 # And bells on her toes... # 915 00:24:57,690 --> 00:24:59,690 Ooh. LAUGHTER 916 00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:00,210 Ooh. LAUGHTER 917 00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:01,570 I think your baby's been sick. 918 00:25:01,610 --> 00:25:03,610 Hang the laundry twixt the cow and the caravan. 919 00:25:03,650 --> 00:25:05,090 Hang the laundry twixt the cow and the caravan. 920 00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:07,130 Bit of baby spilt on your knee, then. Yeah, but that... 921 00:25:07,170 --> 00:25:07,570 Bit of baby spilt on your knee, then. Yeah, but that... 922 00:25:07,610 --> 00:25:09,610 A lot of... Oh.That's handy. 923 00:25:09,650 --> 00:25:09,890 A lot of... Oh.That's handy. 924 00:25:09,930 --> 00:25:11,930 I'm assuming I have to create my own line, yeah? 925 00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:12,930 I'm assuming I have to create my own line, yeah? 926 00:25:12,970 --> 00:25:14,970 To hang the... Sure, yeah. ..laundry. 927 00:25:15,010 --> 00:25:16,890 To hang the... Sure, yeah. ..laundry. 928 00:25:18,410 --> 00:25:20,250 # Ta-da-da-da. # 929 00:25:20,290 --> 00:25:22,290 There we go. Is that... Are you satisfied with that? Well, yeah. 930 00:25:22,330 --> 00:25:23,330 There we go. Is that... Are you satisfied with that? Well, yeah. 931 00:25:23,370 --> 00:25:25,370 Yeah? So, hang the laundry, dust the carpet. 932 00:25:25,410 --> 00:25:26,490 Yeah? So, hang the laundry, dust the carpet. 933 00:25:26,530 --> 00:25:28,530 Oh, was that dusting the carpet? CACKLES 934 00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,250 Oh, was that dusting the carpet? CACKLES 935 00:25:30,290 --> 00:25:32,290 OK, best way to dust a carpet... 936 00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:32,810 OK, best way to dust a carpet... 937 00:25:35,170 --> 00:25:37,170 LAUGHTER 938 00:25:37,210 --> 00:25:37,370 LAUGHTER 939 00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:40,810 Satisfied? 940 00:25:40,850 --> 00:25:41,810 No. 941 00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:44,930 Oh, baby's not happy with this. 942 00:25:44,970 --> 00:25:45,130 Oh, baby's not happy with this. 943 00:25:46,410 --> 00:25:48,410 Are you...thirsty? 944 00:25:48,450 --> 00:25:48,650 Are you...thirsty? 945 00:25:48,690 --> 00:25:50,690 Oh, there we go. 946 00:25:50,730 --> 00:25:51,410 Oh, there we go. 947 00:25:51,450 --> 00:25:53,450 Now let's get that nap-nap changed. 948 00:25:53,490 --> 00:25:53,690 Now let's get that nap-nap changed. 949 00:25:53,730 --> 00:25:54,570 Ugh. 950 00:25:56,450 --> 00:25:58,170 She loves that. 951 00:25:58,210 --> 00:26:00,170 WHISTLE BLOWS There you go. That's not bad. 952 00:26:00,210 --> 00:26:01,570 You've got three seconds left. 953 00:26:01,610 --> 00:26:03,610 Uh... Love you. WHISTLE BLOWS 954 00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:04,250 Uh... Love you. WHISTLE BLOWS 955 00:26:09,650 --> 00:26:11,650 Two actual fathers. And with very contrasting approaches. 956 00:26:11,690 --> 00:26:13,690 Two actual fathers. And with very contrasting approaches. 957 00:26:13,730 --> 00:26:15,530 Two actual fathers. And with very contrasting approaches. 958 00:26:15,570 --> 00:26:17,570 Nick, you seemed a very cautious and caring parent, I thought.Yeah. 959 00:26:17,610 --> 00:26:19,610 Nick, you seemed a very cautious and caring parent, I thought.Yeah. 960 00:26:19,650 --> 00:26:19,890 Nick, you seemed a very cautious and caring parent, I thought.Yeah. 961 00:26:19,930 --> 00:26:21,490 Did Nick spill a lot of baby? 962 00:26:21,530 --> 00:26:23,530 Yes, Nick spilt a quarter of his baby, 963 00:26:23,570 --> 00:26:23,850 Yes, Nick spilt a quarter of his baby, 964 00:26:23,890 --> 00:26:25,890 whereas Steve, in the end, only 7% of baby spilt. 965 00:26:25,930 --> 00:26:26,330 whereas Steve, in the end, only 7% of baby spilt. 966 00:26:26,370 --> 00:26:28,370 Who would've thought that you would come across in this competition as 967 00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:29,650 Who would've thought that you would come across in this competition as 968 00:26:29,690 --> 00:26:31,690 a more effective parent by force-feeding your baby? 969 00:26:31,730 --> 00:26:32,090 a more effective parent by force-feeding your baby? 970 00:26:33,210 --> 00:26:35,210 I feel like I have to apologise to my own children now, 971 00:26:35,250 --> 00:26:35,650 I feel like I have to apologise to my own children now, 972 00:26:35,690 --> 00:26:37,690 if that was anything like the upbringing they had. 973 00:26:37,730 --> 00:26:37,970 if that was anything like the upbringing they had. 974 00:26:38,010 --> 00:26:38,930 Yeah. 975 00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:40,970 Time for a break now. I say that, it doesn't seem to matter 976 00:26:41,010 --> 00:26:41,850 Time for a break now. I say that, it doesn't seem to matter 977 00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:43,890 how much pressure I apply to Alex's pelvis, it just won't snap. 978 00:26:43,930 --> 00:26:45,930 how much pressure I apply to Alex's pelvis, it just won't snap. 979 00:26:45,970 --> 00:26:46,210 how much pressure I apply to Alex's pelvis, it just won't snap. 980 00:26:46,250 --> 00:26:48,250 LAUGHTER 981 00:26:48,290 --> 00:26:48,450 LAUGHTER 982 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,960 Hello. Yes, you're back with us on Taskmaster.Mm-mm. 983 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,000 Hello. Yes, you're back with us on Taskmaster.Mm-mm. 984 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,240 Hello. Yes, you're back with us on Taskmaster.Mm-mm. 985 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,160 Comedy entertainment at its finest. Am I right, guys? 986 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,240 The current task... LAUGHTER 987 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:10,560 The current task... LAUGHTER 988 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,600 ..sees our comedians busy trying to complete a jobstacle course 989 00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:13,680 ..sees our comedians busy trying to complete a jobstacle course 990 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,720 of household chores whilst looking after their water bottle in 991 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:16,120 of household chores whilst looking after their water bottle in 992 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,160 a baby carrier. Least baby spilled wins. 993 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:18,960 a baby carrier. Least baby spilled wins. 994 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000 Last up - Rohn Jobins. LAUGHTER 995 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:21,480 Last up - Rohn Jobins. LAUGHTER 996 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,600 What are you going to do first, John? 997 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,480 Well, I'm going to take the baby out of this. 998 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,480 It must stay in the baby carrier. 999 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,520 It must remain in the baby carrier. 1000 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:31,320 It must remain in the baby carrier. 1001 00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:33,360 But the baby carrier doesn't have to remain on me. 1002 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,320 But the baby carrier doesn't have to remain on me. 1003 00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:36,240 AUDIENCE: Ooh! 1004 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,280 There we go. Right. 1005 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,320 LAUGHTER Do the dishes. Caravan. 1006 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:44,280 LAUGHTER Do the dishes. Caravan. 1007 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,520 Dishes...done! 1008 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:53,160 Thank you, Greg. 1009 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:54,800 Dust the carpet! 1010 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:55,960 Four minutes left. 1011 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:56,960 Four minutes! 1012 00:27:58,280 --> 00:27:59,760 Never done this before. 1013 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,920 The way my life's going, I'll probably never do it again. 1014 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:03,600 The way my life's going, I'll probably never do it again. 1015 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,640 LAUGHTER Ugh! 1016 00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:05,960 LAUGHTER Ugh! 1017 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:07,600 A lot easier without a baby on your front. 1018 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,040 Oh, it's so much easier, 1019 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,080 and honestly that baby's been 1020 00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:11,360 and honestly that baby's been 1021 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,400 driving me crazy. LAUGHTER 1022 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:14,120 driving me crazy. LAUGHTER 1023 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:15,280 One minute left, John. 1024 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,920 Just taking a bit of care with this, Alex. 1025 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,600 How much more time have I got? 1026 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,640 Five, four, 1027 00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:23,800 Five, four, 1028 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,840 three, two... WHISTLE BLOWS 1029 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,880 three, two... WHISTLE BLOWS 1030 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:28,160 three, two... WHISTLE BLOWS 1031 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,960 Thank you. 1032 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,600 If anything, he was tad smug. 1033 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:34,800 If anything, he was tad smug. 1034 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,560 But, you know. Fast, wasn't it? Yeah, and it wasn't even about that. 1035 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,560 But, you know. Fast, wasn't it? Yeah, and it wasn't even about that. 1036 00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:43,600 There was zero percentage of the baby spilt. 1037 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:43,840 There was zero percentage of the baby spilt. 1038 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,320 Oh, don't leave a silence where there's a "but" coming and you... 1039 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,320 Oh, don't leave a silence where there's a "but" coming and you... 1040 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,360 No? There's no "but". I'm just allowing you to enjoy it. 1041 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:51,640 No? There's no "but". I'm just allowing you to enjoy it. 1042 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:52,880 Oh, that's sweet. 1043 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,920 How long do you want to give him to enjoy it? 1044 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:55,200 How long do you want to give him to enjoy it? 1045 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,040 LAUGHTER 1046 00:28:58,120 --> 00:28:59,960 We'll give him ten more seconds, shall we? 1047 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,280 LAUGHTER 1048 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:08,280 No, I unfortunately don't have another VT. 1049 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,640 He has genuinely nailed it. 1050 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,680 I know he has, yeah. Which is very frustrating. 1051 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:12,400 I know he has, yeah. Which is very frustrating. 1052 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,680 APPLAUSE 1053 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:16,720 So the points are - Nick gets one, 1054 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,760 Sophie two, Joanne three, Steve four, 1055 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:19,080 Sophie two, Joanne three, Steve four, 1056 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:20,760 five points to John Robins! Well done, John. 1057 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,880 OK, what's next please, Alex? 1058 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:28,920 You're going to like this, Greg. We started off in a tent 1059 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:29,400 You're going to like this, Greg. We started off in a tent 1060 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,440 and now we're going to be IN TENTS. Intense. Do you...? Yeah? 1061 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,480 and now we're going to be IN TENTS. Intense. Do you...? Yeah? 1062 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:33,840 and now we're going to be IN TENTS. Intense. Do you...? Yeah? 1063 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,880 AUDIENCE CHUCKLES 1064 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:37,400 AUDIENCE CHUCKLES 1065 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,320 Oh, hello. 1066 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,040 Hello, Alex. 1067 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:03,040 You all right? 1068 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:05,680 Oh, no. 1069 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:08,160 What now? 1070 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,120 Is this right? 1071 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,440 Hello, you OK? 1072 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:22,320 Hello, you OK? 1073 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,360 Have you seen something bad? 1074 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:24,960 Have you seen something bad? 1075 00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,080 Have you had an accident? 1076 00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,280 ALEX GRUMBLES 1077 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:33,240 AUDIENCE:Aw. 1078 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:37,640 Hmm. 1079 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,640 Oh, thank you. 1080 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,120 Create tension and you've just given me a masterclass. 1081 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:46,160 Create tension and you've just given me a masterclass. 1082 00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:46,440 Create tension and you've just given me a masterclass. 1083 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,480 Create tension. Oh, 1084 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:49,360 Create tension. Oh, 1085 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:51,400 you were acting. And you did it well. 1086 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:52,640 you were acting. And you did it well. 1087 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:54,680 Most tension created wins. 1088 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:54,960 Most tension created wins. 1089 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 You have 20 minutes - your time starts now. 1090 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:57,600 You have 20 minutes - your time starts now. 1091 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:01,840 Have you started the attempt? 1092 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,760 I've started. This is tension. Yeah. 1093 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,240 So, like, just make it really awkward? 1094 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,280 What did you think of my tension that I created? 1095 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:12,560 What did you think of my tension that I created? 1096 00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:13,800 Didn't feel tense. 1097 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:14,920 No, no. Oh, well. 1098 00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:16,720 I'd give it a two out of ten... Right. 1099 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,760 ..for tension. 1100 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:18,760 Sexual tension? 1101 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:22,800 Hmm, I'm going to need some kind of elasticated roping. 1102 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,840 Hmm, I'm going to need some kind of elasticated roping. 1103 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,120 Hmm, I'm going to need some kind of elasticated roping. 1104 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,160 I would like to challenge you to a duel of... 1105 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,200 I would like to challenge you to a duel of... 1106 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,240 I would like to challenge you to a duel of... 1107 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:32,600 I would like to challenge you to a duel of... 1108 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:33,640 ..hangman. 1109 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,560 Isn't quite working, that, is it? 1110 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:40,840 Isn't quite working, that, is it? 1111 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,880 Got a tablecloth? Mm-hm.Yeah. 1112 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:43,440 Got a tablecloth? Mm-hm.Yeah. 1113 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,480 I'm going to get some bits and bobs. 1114 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:45,760 I'm going to get some bits and bobs. 1115 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,200 APPLAUSE 1116 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:49,400 APPLAUSE 1117 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,520 This will be interesting cos I know how to make you tense. 1118 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:56,880 This will be interesting cos I know how to make you tense. 1119 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:58,960 Yes, you do. 1120 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,000 And I'm not going to be the only one, I suspect. Let's go. 1121 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,680 And I'm not going to be the only one, I suspect. Let's go. 1122 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:04,720 First of all, we're going to see three lots of tension-makers - 1123 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:05,560 First of all, we're going to see three lots of tension-makers - 1124 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,400 Sophie, John and Joanne. 1125 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,600 Tension. What is tension? 1126 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:11,280 Tension. What is tension? 1127 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:12,560 Tension is 1128 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,600 the apprehension that something bad's going to happen, innit? 1129 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,280 the apprehension that something bad's going to happen, innit? 1130 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:17,720 It's tense, we're worried. 1131 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:19,960 Alex, sit with me. 1132 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,400 Sit down beside me. Yeah. 1133 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,440 Actually, no. Actually hop up here, hop up. 1134 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:25,840 Actually, no. Actually hop up here, hop up. 1135 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:27,520 Facing you? Like this? 1136 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,560 This is perfect, yeah. Look at me. 1137 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:29,800 This is perfect, yeah. Look at me. 1138 00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:30,960 Do I relax?No, don't relax. 1139 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,240 No?I want you on edge. 1140 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,560 In order to actually measure the tension, 1141 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:36,360 In order to actually measure the tension, 1142 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:38,400 we've got both analogue and digital tension scales. 1143 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,440 we've got both analogue and digital tension scales. 1144 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:40,680 we've got both analogue and digital tension scales. 1145 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:46,840 Like, so like...tightrope walking, but on a chair? 1146 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,160 Like, so like...tightrope walking, but on a chair? 1147 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,160 Yeah. 1148 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,480 What's your salary? AUDIENCE LAUGHS 1149 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:54,560 What's your salary? AUDIENCE LAUGHS 1150 00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:56,120 Don't lie, don't lie to your mother. 1151 00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:03,600 LAUGHTER 1152 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:05,240 LAUGHTER 1153 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,200 Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. 1154 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:16,440 Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. 1155 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,360 Increase the tension. Oh! 1156 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,520 Alex, stand firm. Let's take a reading. 1157 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:22,080 Alex, stand firm. Let's take a reading. 1158 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:24,920 Alex, that's ten kilos of tension. 1159 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,200 Our genitals are not touching, just to be clear. 1160 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:30,440 Our genitals are not touching, just to be clear. 1161 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:32,600 Sadly. 1162 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:40,320 Can I say something? 1163 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,960 {\an8}I don't feel the need to say anything. 1164 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:48,880 Two minutes left. 1165 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,280 SHE HISSES 1166 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:54,000 SHE HISSES 1167 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,040 That WAS tense. 1168 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,080 SHE HISSES 1169 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:57,280 SHE HISSES 1170 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,560 Feels so good. 1171 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,600 It's like my father's alive again. 1172 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:05,120 It's like my father's alive again. 1173 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:07,160 Uh...It's my father's anniversary today - dead 21 years. 1174 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:07,960 Uh...It's my father's anniversary today - dead 21 years. 1175 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,760 Oh, is it?You smell just like him. 1176 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:12,840 SNIFFS DEEPLY 1177 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:13,720 SNIFFS DEEPLY 1178 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:14,880 Hmm. 1179 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,920 What am I doing with the net, John? What are you doing? 1180 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:17,240 What am I doing with the net, John? What are you doing? 1181 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,280 You're catching the Marble of Certain Death. Oh, I see. 1182 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:19,560 You're catching the Marble of Certain Death. Oh, I see. 1183 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,040 OK. OK. 1184 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:22,840 Three, two, 1185 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:23,920 one. 1186 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,080 And there you go, 1187 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:29,840 the Marble of Certain Death caught by Alex 1188 00:34:29,880 --> 00:34:31,880 under pretty extreme tension here. That's ten kilos of tension. 1189 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:33,400 under pretty extreme tension here. That's ten kilos of tension. 1190 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,440 WHISTLE BLOWS That's your time up, John.Thank you. 1191 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:35,720 WHISTLE BLOWS That's your time up, John.Thank you. 1192 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:36,480 Phew. 1193 00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,520 Ten seconds, Joanne. My whistle's right down here though. 1194 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:40,840 Ten seconds, Joanne. My whistle's right down here though. 1195 00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:41,920 Excuse me? 1196 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:43,760 Ignore the whistle - it's just me and you now. 1197 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,960 I've got to get the whistle. 1198 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,000 I've asked the cameramen to leave. 1199 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:47,360 I've asked the cameramen to leave. 1200 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,400 SNIFFS DEEPLY Stop it. 1201 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:51,440 WHISTLE BLOWS Oh, thank God. 1202 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:52,280 WHISTLE BLOWS Oh, thank God. 1203 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,200 Don't even look me in the eye ever again. 1204 00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:55,200 Thanks, Joanne. 1205 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,800 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 1206 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:02,360 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 1207 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:04,120 I told you someone would crack the code. 1208 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:08,760 Consent at every point - every point, there was consent. 1209 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:09,280 Consent at every point - every point, there was consent. 1210 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,160 There was. What the audience didn't hear is 1211 00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,360 what you said as you, uh, 1212 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,400 walked out which was, "Never look at me again." 1213 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:14,880 walked out which was, "Never look at me again." 1214 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:19,240 Sophie, watching you 1215 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:19,960 Sophie, watching you 1216 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000 standing on one leg with a cup on your head 1217 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,120 standing on one leg with a cup on your head 1218 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,160 hissing like a fucking snake... 1219 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:25,720 hissing like a fucking snake... 1220 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,600 ..is the least tense I've ever felt. 1221 00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:28,600 Oh, really? 1222 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,440 You've never been in that position 1223 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,480 cos you're always taller, aren't you? But... Yeah. 1224 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:33,920 cos you're always taller, aren't you? But... Yeah. 1225 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,960 ..actually having somebody... 1226 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:36,200 ..actually having somebody... 1227 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:38,240 HISSES 1228 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:38,520 HISSES 1229 00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,520 Well, let me... Let me, yeah, go on. 1230 00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:42,400 If you sit on the floor. 1231 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,160 AUDIENCE MEMBER:Woo! 1232 00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:50,000 HISSES FORCEFULLY 1233 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,800 No.Nothing? Right. 1234 00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,000 Well, that's fine. 1235 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,960 What about John, who took a very literal version of tension? 1236 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:02,520 What about John, who took a very literal version of tension? 1237 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,200 Did he create much tension? 1238 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:06,240 Well, yes 1kg on Earth 1239 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:06,960 Well, yes 1kg on Earth 1240 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000 is 9.8 Newtons of tension, we know this. "We know this." 1241 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:09,920 is 9.8 Newtons of tension, we know this. "We know this." 1242 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:11,960 And you had ten kilos. So it was, yeah, it was 98 Newtons 1243 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:12,480 And you had ten kilos. So it was, yeah, it was 98 Newtons 1244 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,520 of tension, he created. Which is about the same as 1245 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:14,800 of tension, he created. Which is about the same as 1246 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,640 a small monkey swinging on a tree. 1247 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,480 How heavy is the monkey? 1248 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,560 It said a small monkey. 1249 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,600 How many pounds of tension did he create? 1250 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:26,720 How many pounds of tension did he create? 1251 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,760 But te...tension's not measured in 1252 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:29,760 But te...tension's not measured in 1253 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,800 stones or pounds. It's not measured in monkeys, mate. 1254 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:32,160 stones or pounds. It's not measured in monkeys, mate. 1255 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,200 It's measured in... LAUGHTER 1256 00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:34,480 It's measured in... LAUGHTER 1257 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,360 APPLAUSE 1258 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,000 Who's left? 1259 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,040 Next up, time to vamp up the tension 1260 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:43,360 Next up, time to vamp up the tension 1261 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,400 with Nick Mohammed. Ooh. 1262 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,040 with Nick Mohammed. Ooh. 1263 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,040 How long, Alex? 1264 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:00,160 Got one minute, Nick. 1265 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,880 OPERATIC MUSIC BUILDS 1266 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,920 OPERATIC MUSIC BUILDS 1267 00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:10,240 OPERATIC MUSIC BUILDS 1268 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,600 {\an8}APPLAUSE 1269 00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,280 {\an8}That's what I intended. 1270 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,160 {\an8}Then that then goes over that. 1271 00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:28,840 {\an8}We'll do that. And this little... 1272 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:31,440 {\an8}..little finish. 1273 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,320 Thanks, Alex. See you later. 1274 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,080 The old egg-misses-the-glass trick, eh? 1275 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:54,600 The old egg-misses-the-glass trick, eh? 1276 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:56,640 That was genuinely stressful just rewatching that. 1277 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,640 That was genuinely stressful just rewatching that. 1278 00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,080 Yeah, there was tension there. 1279 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,120 And I've gotta say, it's not looking bad for you on this one.Oh, great. 1280 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:02,040 And I've gotta say, it's not looking bad for you on this one.Oh, great. 1281 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:04,080 Yeah, and bear in mind who you're sitting next to. 1282 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,080 Yeah, and bear in mind who you're sitting next to. 1283 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,080 Right, we're nearly at the end of the show, 1284 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,120 when one of the comedians will scream with delight 1285 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:12,560 when one of the comedians will scream with delight 1286 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,600 as they head home with their very own trough, 1287 00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:15,080 as they head home with their very own trough, 1288 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,120 but first, have some badverts. 1289 00:38:17,160 --> 00:38:18,160 but first, have some badverts. 1290 00:38:28,220 --> 00:38:30,220 Hello, welcome back to the final part of the show, 1291 00:38:30,260 --> 00:38:30,540 Hello, welcome back to the final part of the show, 1292 00:38:30,580 --> 00:38:32,460 where things have been pretty damn tense. 1293 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:34,420 Oh, you've been pretty, I've been tense 1294 00:38:34,460 --> 00:38:36,460 and that's because we've come to the end of our create-tension task, 1295 00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:37,740 and that's because we've come to the end of our create-tension task, 1296 00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:39,780 and it ends with me versus Steve at hangman. 1297 00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:41,260 and it ends with me versus Steve at hangman. 1298 00:38:57,820 --> 00:38:58,940 {\an8}No vowels. 1299 00:39:04,780 --> 00:39:05,820 P. 1300 00:39:07,660 --> 00:39:09,660 BELL DINGS 1301 00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:09,860 BELL DINGS 1302 00:39:13,540 --> 00:39:14,580 T. 1303 00:39:21,340 --> 00:39:22,940 R. 1304 00:39:22,980 --> 00:39:24,980 BELL DINGS 1305 00:39:25,020 --> 00:39:25,180 BELL DINGS 1306 00:39:28,580 --> 00:39:30,420 L. 1307 00:39:30,460 --> 00:39:32,460 BELL DINGS 1308 00:39:32,500 --> 00:39:32,700 BELL DINGS 1309 00:39:32,740 --> 00:39:34,740 D. 1310 00:39:34,780 --> 00:39:35,180 D. 1311 00:39:35,220 --> 00:39:37,220 H. BELL DINGS 1312 00:39:37,260 --> 00:39:39,260 M. BELL DINGS 1313 00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:39,980 M. BELL DINGS 1314 00:39:40,020 --> 00:39:41,780 S. 1315 00:39:41,820 --> 00:39:42,900 N. 1316 00:39:50,860 --> 00:39:52,860 P. BELL DINGS 1317 00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:53,140 P. BELL DINGS 1318 00:39:53,180 --> 00:39:54,500 C. 1319 00:39:56,780 --> 00:39:57,860 B. 1320 00:39:59,940 --> 00:40:01,180 H. 1321 00:40:03,980 --> 00:40:04,940 C? 1322 00:40:06,420 --> 00:40:07,380 G. 1323 00:40:10,780 --> 00:40:12,780 V. LAUGHTER 1324 00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:13,180 V. LAUGHTER 1325 00:40:13,220 --> 00:40:15,180 BELL DINGS 1326 00:40:18,060 --> 00:40:19,020 Nightclub. 1327 00:40:37,180 --> 00:40:38,340 It means assistant. 1328 00:40:41,180 --> 00:40:43,180 APPLAUSE 1329 00:40:43,220 --> 00:40:44,020 APPLAUSE 1330 00:40:47,900 --> 00:40:49,660 What an impressive production. 1331 00:40:49,700 --> 00:40:51,700 Hmm. Amazing. 1332 00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:51,980 Hmm. Amazing. 1333 00:40:52,020 --> 00:40:54,020 The tension in that room between Alex and I, 1334 00:40:54,060 --> 00:40:55,700 The tension in that room between Alex and I, 1335 00:40:55,740 --> 00:40:57,740 and the no-vowels hangman rule, 1336 00:40:57,780 --> 00:40:58,260 and the no-vowels hangman rule, 1337 00:40:58,300 --> 00:41:00,300 that really upped it 50%. 1338 00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:00,540 that really upped it 50%. 1339 00:41:00,580 --> 00:41:01,980 It did. 1340 00:41:02,020 --> 00:41:03,140 It was electric. 1341 00:41:04,620 --> 00:41:06,620 If I were to pick perhaps a small criticism - 1342 00:41:06,660 --> 00:41:07,820 If I were to pick perhaps a small criticism - 1343 00:41:07,860 --> 00:41:09,860 yoghurt, cheese and hot sauce sounds quite nice. 1344 00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:10,140 yoghurt, cheese and hot sauce sounds quite nice. 1345 00:41:10,180 --> 00:41:12,020 LAUGHTER 1346 00:41:12,060 --> 00:41:13,700 Right, Sophie's getting one point 1347 00:41:13,740 --> 00:41:15,700 then there's a gulf between Sophie 1348 00:41:15,740 --> 00:41:16,740 and the others. 1349 00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:18,780 So we jump up to three points. 1350 00:41:18,820 --> 00:41:19,540 So we jump up to three points. 1351 00:41:19,580 --> 00:41:21,580 Right. Who's getting three points? John is. 1352 00:41:21,620 --> 00:41:21,900 Right. Who's getting three points? John is. 1353 00:41:21,940 --> 00:41:23,940 I felt tense with Nick and with Steve. 1354 00:41:23,980 --> 00:41:24,980 I felt tense with Nick and with Steve. 1355 00:41:25,020 --> 00:41:27,020 Steve, I felt deliberately tense. 1356 00:41:27,060 --> 00:41:27,820 Steve, I felt deliberately tense. 1357 00:41:27,860 --> 00:41:29,860 And with Nick, I felt his gross incompetence was... 1358 00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:30,980 And with Nick, I felt his gross incompetence was... 1359 00:41:31,020 --> 00:41:33,020 LAUGHTER ..as a magician, was going to result 1360 00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:33,340 LAUGHTER ..as a magician, was going to result 1361 00:41:33,380 --> 00:41:35,100 in someone being hurt. 1362 00:41:35,140 --> 00:41:37,140 So I can draw a parallel there and say four points for both. 1363 00:41:37,180 --> 00:41:37,660 So I can draw a parallel there and say four points for both. 1364 00:41:37,700 --> 00:41:39,700 But we all know where the most tension was in the room.Yeah. 1365 00:41:39,740 --> 00:41:40,420 But we all know where the most tension was in the room.Yeah. 1366 00:41:40,460 --> 00:41:42,460 And it was a grown woman sniffing your beard. 1367 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:43,300 And it was a grown woman sniffing your beard. 1368 00:41:44,700 --> 00:41:46,700 So five points to Joanne, and that's the end of it. 1369 00:41:46,740 --> 00:41:46,940 So five points to Joanne, and that's the end of it. 1370 00:41:50,780 --> 00:41:52,300 Scoreboard, boy. 1371 00:41:52,340 --> 00:41:54,020 Right, OK. Well, unfortunately, Sophie, 1372 00:41:54,060 --> 00:41:56,060 that means you've only got six points, whereas John 1373 00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:56,380 that means you've only got six points, whereas John 1374 00:41:56,420 --> 00:41:58,420 and Joanne are in the lead with 17 points. Ooh. 1375 00:41:58,460 --> 00:41:58,740 and Joanne are in the lead with 17 points. Ooh. 1376 00:41:58,780 --> 00:42:00,180 AUDIENCE:Ooh! 1377 00:42:00,220 --> 00:42:02,220 APPLAUSE 1378 00:42:02,260 --> 00:42:02,620 APPLAUSE 1379 00:42:02,660 --> 00:42:04,340 All right, then. 1380 00:42:04,380 --> 00:42:06,020 Please can you vacate your chairs, 1381 00:42:06,060 --> 00:42:08,060 head to the stage for the final task of the show! 1382 00:42:08,100 --> 00:42:08,460 head to the stage for the final task of the show! 1383 00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:19,900 Who's going to read the task out? 1384 00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:21,500 Joanne McNally, my friend. 1385 00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:24,340 Don't look at me, Alex. LAUGHTER 1386 00:42:24,380 --> 00:42:25,540 Don't look at me. 1387 00:42:25,580 --> 00:42:27,580 Catch the most monsters in your boxes. 1388 00:42:27,620 --> 00:42:28,020 Catch the most monsters in your boxes. 1389 00:42:28,060 --> 00:42:30,060 The monsters must propel themselves from the table. 1390 00:42:30,100 --> 00:42:30,740 The monsters must propel themselves from the table. 1391 00:42:30,780 --> 00:42:32,780 Most monsters in boxes after two minutes wins. 1392 00:42:32,820 --> 00:42:34,540 Most monsters in boxes after two minutes wins. 1393 00:42:34,580 --> 00:42:36,580 And I should also say - if you catch one in your arm, 1394 00:42:36,620 --> 00:42:36,940 And I should also say - if you catch one in your arm, 1395 00:42:36,980 --> 00:42:38,580 that's worth one monster. 1396 00:42:38,620 --> 00:42:40,620 In your hat, that's worth two monsters. 1397 00:42:40,660 --> 00:42:40,900 In your hat, that's worth two monsters. 1398 00:42:40,940 --> 00:42:42,940 It's three on the leg, 1399 00:42:42,980 --> 00:42:43,180 It's three on the leg, 1400 00:42:43,220 --> 00:42:45,020 four on the back bucket, 1401 00:42:45,060 --> 00:42:46,700 five on the shoulder. 1402 00:42:46,740 --> 00:42:48,460 Isn't the leg one a bit unfair? 1403 00:42:48,500 --> 00:42:50,500 Someone's got an advantage. HISSES 1404 00:42:50,540 --> 00:42:50,820 Someone's got an advantage. HISSES 1405 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:56,780 OK, so it's two minutes, Greg. 1406 00:42:56,820 --> 00:42:57,020 OK, so it's two minutes, Greg. 1407 00:42:57,060 --> 00:42:59,060 Let's dance.And they're off. 1408 00:42:59,100 --> 00:42:59,580 Let's dance.And they're off. 1409 00:42:59,620 --> 00:43:01,180 Whoa! 1410 00:43:02,300 --> 00:43:04,300 It's hard to even get the... Oh! 1411 00:43:04,340 --> 00:43:04,660 It's hard to even get the... Oh! 1412 00:43:04,700 --> 00:43:06,700 How'd you do it? They're not bouncing. 1413 00:43:06,740 --> 00:43:06,940 How'd you do it? They're not bouncing. 1414 00:43:07,980 --> 00:43:08,940 Oh! 1415 00:43:11,700 --> 00:43:13,580 AUDIENCE:Oh! 1416 00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:17,060 NOW I'm tense, Sophie. 1417 00:43:30,140 --> 00:43:31,180 Yes, yes! 1418 00:43:31,220 --> 00:43:33,220 CHEERING 1419 00:43:33,260 --> 00:43:33,420 CHEERING 1420 00:43:34,540 --> 00:43:36,460 Nick is pulling away here. 1421 00:43:38,780 --> 00:43:39,780 Ah! 1422 00:43:39,820 --> 00:43:41,420 24 seconds left now. 1423 00:43:41,460 --> 00:43:42,540 How are you over there? 1424 00:43:42,580 --> 00:43:43,540 Yes. 1425 00:43:44,820 --> 00:43:46,820 Oh, Steve, that was so close. 1426 00:43:46,860 --> 00:43:47,060 Oh, Steve, that was so close. 1427 00:43:47,100 --> 00:43:48,540 Tip the table, tip that table. 1428 00:43:50,580 --> 00:43:51,860 Oh. 1429 00:43:51,900 --> 00:43:53,900 WHISTLE BLOWS Stop. 1430 00:43:53,940 --> 00:43:54,220 WHISTLE BLOWS Stop. 1431 00:43:54,260 --> 00:43:56,260 APPLAUSE Oh! 1432 00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,180 APPLAUSE Oh! 1433 00:43:58,220 --> 00:44:00,100 Can I clarify one thing? It did say in the task 1434 00:44:00,140 --> 00:44:02,140 the monsters must propel themselves from the table. 1435 00:44:02,180 --> 00:44:02,460 the monsters must propel themselves from the table. 1436 00:44:02,500 --> 00:44:04,500 Are we happy that the stage is a table for Sophie? 1437 00:44:04,540 --> 00:44:05,700 Are we happy that the stage is a table for Sophie? 1438 00:44:05,740 --> 00:44:07,500 I mean, as an act of charity, I think... 1439 00:44:07,540 --> 00:44:09,580 LAUGHTER 1440 00:44:09,620 --> 00:44:11,620 OK, I'm going to quickly count the monsters. 1441 00:44:11,660 --> 00:44:11,940 OK, I'm going to quickly count the monsters. 1442 00:44:11,980 --> 00:44:13,980 We have one in the top - that's two monsters for Joanne. 1443 00:44:14,020 --> 00:44:15,180 We have one in the top - that's two monsters for Joanne. 1444 00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:17,100 Lovely.Not bad. 1445 00:44:17,140 --> 00:44:18,180 {\an8}We have one in the top, 1446 00:44:18,220 --> 00:44:19,820 {\an8}we also have two bucket monsters, 1447 00:44:19,860 --> 00:44:21,860 so that's a total of ten monsters. Ooh. Wow. 1448 00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:22,420 so that's a total of ten monsters. Ooh. Wow. 1449 00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:23,660 That's a lot of monsters. 1450 00:44:24,740 --> 00:44:25,980 You have two in the leg - 1451 00:44:26,020 --> 00:44:27,260 that's six monsters. 1452 00:44:27,300 --> 00:44:29,300 Right.Unfortunately, the arm is the lowest scoring. 1453 00:44:29,340 --> 00:44:30,940 Right.Unfortunately, the arm is the lowest scoring. 1454 00:44:30,980 --> 00:44:32,980 There are six in there, which is also a total of six monsters. 1455 00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:33,780 There are six in there, which is also a total of six monsters. 1456 00:44:37,380 --> 00:44:39,380 There is one in the hat and there are two in the bucket, 1457 00:44:39,420 --> 00:44:39,860 There is one in the hat and there are two in the bucket, 1458 00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:41,900 so that's a total of ten monsters. 1459 00:44:41,940 --> 00:44:42,100 so that's a total of ten monsters. 1460 00:44:44,620 --> 00:44:46,420 {\an8}So why don't you all come down here 1461 00:44:46,460 --> 00:44:48,460 and we'll see what that's done to the final scores? 1462 00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:48,740 and we'll see what that's done to the final scores? 1463 00:44:48,780 --> 00:44:50,540 APPLAUSE 1464 00:44:55,500 --> 00:44:57,380 Greg, I need to show you a couple of things. 1465 00:44:57,420 --> 00:44:59,100 Oh, good - is it related to the show? 1466 00:44:59,140 --> 00:45:01,140 LAUGHTER 1467 00:45:01,180 --> 00:45:01,420 LAUGHTER 1468 00:45:01,460 --> 00:45:03,460 Unfortunately, yes. I need to, uh, get your judgment on 1469 00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:04,100 Unfortunately, yes. I need to, uh, get your judgment on 1470 00:45:04,140 --> 00:45:06,140 a couple of little bits I caught during the task. 1471 00:45:06,180 --> 00:45:06,420 a couple of little bits I caught during the task. 1472 00:45:06,460 --> 00:45:08,460 AUDIENCE OOHS 1473 00:45:08,500 --> 00:45:08,940 AUDIENCE OOHS 1474 00:45:08,980 --> 00:45:10,540 Some impropriety? 1475 00:45:10,580 --> 00:45:12,580 LAUGHTER 1476 00:45:12,620 --> 00:45:12,860 LAUGHTER 1477 00:45:12,900 --> 00:45:14,900 You need them - otherwise, you can't see. Oh, yeah. 1478 00:45:14,940 --> 00:45:16,180 You need them - otherwise, you can't see. Oh, yeah. 1479 00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:18,220 OK, have a look up here. The first thing I was saw this. 1480 00:45:18,260 --> 00:45:19,260 OK, have a look up here. The first thing I was saw this. 1481 00:45:21,540 --> 00:45:23,540 ALL:Ooh! 1482 00:45:23,580 --> 00:45:23,900 ALL:Ooh! 1483 00:45:23,940 --> 00:45:25,380 Outrageous. 1484 00:45:25,420 --> 00:45:27,420 Yeah, so do you want to dock him one monster or more? 1485 00:45:27,460 --> 00:45:28,140 Yeah, so do you want to dock him one monster or more? 1486 00:45:28,180 --> 00:45:30,180 Oh, I mean he's disqualified from the whole... 1487 00:45:30,220 --> 00:45:30,500 Oh, I mean he's disqualified from the whole... 1488 00:45:30,540 --> 00:45:32,540 GASPS I'm joking. I'm joking. 1489 00:45:32,580 --> 00:45:33,300 GASPS I'm joking. I'm joking. 1490 00:45:33,340 --> 00:45:35,340 Yeah, just dock him one point, yeah.One monster's gone. 1491 00:45:35,380 --> 00:45:35,860 Yeah, just dock him one point, yeah.One monster's gone. 1492 00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:37,900 And then it's whether or not Steve's final hat monster 1493 00:45:37,940 --> 00:45:38,340 And then it's whether or not Steve's final hat monster 1494 00:45:38,380 --> 00:45:39,860 was before or after the whistle. 1495 00:45:41,780 --> 00:45:43,780 WHISTLE BLOWS Stop. 1496 00:45:43,820 --> 00:45:44,020 WHISTLE BLOWS Stop. 1497 00:45:45,860 --> 00:45:47,860 Well, it was about three years after the whistle. 1498 00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:48,260 Well, it was about three years after the whistle. 1499 00:45:49,540 --> 00:45:51,540 So there's not a lot of tension in that decision, is there? 1500 00:45:51,580 --> 00:45:52,820 So there's not a lot of tension in that decision, is there? 1501 00:45:52,860 --> 00:45:54,020 So that means Joanne, uh, 1502 00:45:54,060 --> 00:45:56,060 is last with the two monsters, then it's Nick with five, 1503 00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:56,500 is last with the two monsters, then it's Nick with five, 1504 00:45:56,540 --> 00:45:58,540 Sophie with six, Steve with eight 1505 00:45:58,580 --> 00:45:58,820 Sophie with six, Steve with eight 1506 00:45:58,860 --> 00:46:00,860 and John takes all five points with the ten monsters. 1507 00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:01,380 and John takes all five points with the ten monsters. 1508 00:46:01,420 --> 00:46:02,780 There it is. 1509 00:46:05,580 --> 00:46:07,580 Exciting what that's done to the final scoreboard. 1510 00:46:07,620 --> 00:46:07,900 Exciting what that's done to the final scoreboard. 1511 00:46:07,940 --> 00:46:09,780 Because so far only Steve has won, of course. 1512 00:46:09,820 --> 00:46:11,820 Correct. In this episode, Joanne was pipped to the post. 1513 00:46:11,860 --> 00:46:13,380 Correct. In this episode, Joanne was pipped to the post. 1514 00:46:13,420 --> 00:46:15,420 She got 18 points and John got 22 points. 1515 00:46:15,460 --> 00:46:15,660 She got 18 points and John got 22 points. 1516 00:46:17,980 --> 00:46:19,980 John Robins is the winner of episode three! 1517 00:46:20,020 --> 00:46:20,780 John Robins is the winner of episode three! 1518 00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,820 Go and gather your alternative animal accessories. 1519 00:46:22,860 --> 00:46:23,340 Go and gather your alternative animal accessories. 1520 00:46:23,380 --> 00:46:25,380 APPLAUSE 1521 00:46:25,420 --> 00:46:25,900 APPLAUSE 1522 00:46:27,620 --> 00:46:29,620 So what have we learnt from today's show? 1523 00:46:29,660 --> 00:46:30,140 So what have we learnt from today's show? 1524 00:46:30,180 --> 00:46:31,740 Well, we've learnt that everyone 1525 00:46:31,780 --> 00:46:33,780 finds themselves in tense situations. 1526 00:46:33,820 --> 00:46:34,260 finds themselves in tense situations. 1527 00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:36,300 A difficult negotiation, perhaps, a feud with a neighbour, 1528 00:46:36,340 --> 00:46:37,100 A difficult negotiation, perhaps, a feud with a neighbour, 1529 00:46:37,140 --> 00:46:38,900 an argument with a partner. 1530 00:46:38,940 --> 00:46:40,940 But remember, there's always a way to defuse that awful tension. 1531 00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:42,980 But remember, there's always a way to defuse that awful tension. 1532 00:46:43,020 --> 00:46:43,260 But remember, there's always a way to defuse that awful tension. 1533 00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:44,260 And this is it. 1534 00:46:45,260 --> 00:46:47,260 HISSES 1535 00:46:47,300 --> 00:46:47,580 HISSES 1536 00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:53,100 But there's only one real winner tonight, ladies and gentlemen - 1537 00:46:53,140 --> 00:46:53,620 But there's only one real winner tonight, ladies and gentlemen - 1538 00:46:53,660 --> 00:46:55,500 that is John Robins! 1539 00:47:17,980 --> 00:47:19,980 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 1540 00:47:20,020 --> 00:47:21,700 Subtitles by Red Bee Media