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POP
2
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Well, well, well.
3
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Ooh! Oh, no, no.
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Yes! Ah!
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SHE HISSES, BELL RINGS
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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
7
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Ah!
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Um...
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Quite windy today. Yeah.
10
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Christ.
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Ooh! Wrong way.
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That's how you do it, baby.
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OK.
14
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Oh, my God!
15
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Ah! Ah! Ah! Ooh!
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SHE BABBLES
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18
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Hi, hello, welcome.
Welcome to Taskmaster.
19
00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:43,790
A show that if my social media
communications are anything
20
00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:48,190
to go by, attracts sociopathic nerds
who mistakenly believe they have
21
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:50,550
the right to reply.
LAUGHING
22
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,590
As do the following five
task titans.
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00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:55,750
Please welcome Joanne McNally...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
24
00:00:55,750 --> 00:00:57,590
..John Robins...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
25
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,630
..Nick Mohammed...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26
00:00:59,630 --> 00:01:01,990
..Sophie Willan...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27
00:01:01,990 --> 00:01:04,950
..and Steve Pemberton!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28
00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:09,350
And next to me, a man who on
a night out recently confided in me
29
00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:12,830
about his theory that strength
of regional accent is
30
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:15,750
directly related to
lack of intelligence.
31
00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:18,270
LAUGHING
32
00:01:18,270 --> 00:01:20,590
Don't shoot the messenger...
LAUGHING
33
00:01:20,590 --> 00:01:22,550
..shoot little Alex Horne!
34
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:25,070
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35
00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:27,630
It's an opinion, it's just an
opinion.
36
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,590
Hello, Greg. Hello, there.
37
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,350
So I wanna...I wanna talk about
something quite,
38
00:01:31,350 --> 00:01:33,630
uh, grown-up. A bit...a bit of
adult stuff.
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So sorry but what...what's that
under there? Hmm.
40
00:01:38,070 --> 00:01:39,630
Greg, what's that under there?
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00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:42,510
Where? W...no, what's that under
there?
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00:01:42,510 --> 00:01:45,590
Under where? Ah! Underwear.
She said underwear.
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00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:49,270
She...she said underwear. Huh? Yeah?
APPLAUSE
44
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I like that.
45
00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:52,470
Shall we have the prize task?
46
00:01:52,470 --> 00:01:53,830
We shall see a prize task,
47
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:56,190
and things are gonna get hot
in here,
48
00:01:56,190 --> 00:01:59,470
because we're gonna get to see
their most extraordinary pictures.
49
00:01:59,470 --> 00:02:02,070
Five points for the picture Greg
thinks is the most extraordinary,
50
00:02:02,070 --> 00:02:04,870
and one lucky winner will take home
five extraordinary pictures.
51
00:02:04,870 --> 00:02:06,230
Hello, Sophie. Oh, hello.
52
00:02:06,230 --> 00:02:09,150
What extra-ordinary picture have you
brought me?
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00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:12,830
I've set up a little studio in me
dressing room. And I made you this.
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00:02:12,830 --> 00:02:15,750
LAUGHING
Aww, that's great. It's good!
55
00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,230
It's the dancing vole!
56
00:02:17,230 --> 00:02:18,430
From episode one.
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00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,990
I think that's great. Really?
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00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:22,390
Well, let me give you a different
take on it, Nick.
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00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,070
Why is it extraordinary? I mean
it's extraordinary
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00:02:26,070 --> 00:02:29,150
to discover that you've got some
level of ability at art.
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What, really? You think so? Have I?
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00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:34,470
Well, I mean... You know. Yeah.
GC...GCSE.
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00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:38,510
I think why it's extraordinary is
look at the fur at
64
00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:41,470
the ends that's fli...flinging off.
That was purposeful.
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Could it be a vole that's very
recently died?
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00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:47,030
LAUGHING
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00:02:47,030 --> 00:02:48,830
I thought it was
running into a fire.
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LAUGHING
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00:02:51,230 --> 00:02:53,950
It's neither bad nor extraordinary.
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00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:57,310
Well done, Sophie. Thank you.
Thanks.
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00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,630
Nick, what have you brought in?
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00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:02,550
Well, ah... So this is a picture
that I have taken.
73
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,430
And it's a picture of
a sign outside of
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00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:06,910
a church quite near where I live.
75
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And I just find it extraordinary
that "teas" is...is so big.
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00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:12,630
LAUGHING
77
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:15,550
So it's like, why are they scream...
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00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:18,470
"TEAS!!" Like, why are they
screaming "teas"?
79
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:21,110
There's a slight raise of voice on
"till" and "Sunday",
80
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:22,510
as well, isn't there? Yeah. Yeah.
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00:03:22,510 --> 00:03:27,030
St Anne's Church, home-made cream
TEAS, 3pm TILL 5pm SUNDAY. SUNDAY.
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LAUGHING
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00:03:28,310 --> 00:03:31,190
Scared the shit out of me,
that. Sorry.
84
00:03:31,190 --> 00:03:33,190
LAUGHING
It is extraordinary.
85
00:03:33,190 --> 00:03:34,230
Thanks, Greg.
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00:03:34,230 --> 00:03:35,470
John. Hi, Greg.
87
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:36,830
Can you beat a shouty sign?
88
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:39,950
We all work in entertainment in
various forms.
89
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:41,790
And people watching us might think
that's a very
90
00:03:41,790 --> 00:03:43,550
glamorous industry. Hmm.
91
00:03:43,550 --> 00:03:47,270
However, my picture was, uh, taken
of a comedian called Paul McCaffrey
92
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:50,510
and captures the true bleakness
of being
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00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:53,550
a travelling comedian better than
any image
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00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:56,190
in the history of civilisation.
LAUGHING
95
00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:58,230
Jesus Christ, that's a build-up.
96
00:03:58,230 --> 00:04:01,430
LAUGHING
97
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:08,510
Oh, my God.
I have been in that chair.
98
00:04:08,510 --> 00:04:09,910
LAUGHING
99
00:04:09,910 --> 00:04:13,230
I love that he's being papped in
a restaurant.
100
00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:16,070
He's being recognised from a TV show
101
00:04:16,070 --> 00:04:19,870
and the guy taking
the picture is sort of unaware of
102
00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:23,630
the moment of complete sort of...
103
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,670
It's a mixture of self-hatred. Yeah.
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00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:28,150
It's...it's...
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00:04:28,150 --> 00:04:30,790
..it's bafflement at how life turned
out this way.
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00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:32,390
Just... Do you know what, when
I first saw it,
107
00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:34,750
I didn't even realise that someone
had taken that picture
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00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:37,550
and posted it. I thought it was
someone Paul knew. No.
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00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:41,110
But no, it's a member of the public.
LAUGHING
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00:04:41,110 --> 00:04:43,430
Wow, that's gonna take some
beating. Joanne.
111
00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:45,310
You said an extraordinary picture
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00:04:45,310 --> 00:04:47,790
and I was like, "Mine's
more experiential."
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00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:50,430
Mine's a thought,
a movement, an experience.
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00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:52,790
Ready? Yeah. Ready.
Ready for the experience.
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00:04:52,790 --> 00:04:54,310
I'm gonna turn away
and then I'm gonna experience it.
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00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:56,630
No, you have to look at it to
experience it.
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LAUGHING
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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
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00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,790
LAUGHTER CONTINUES
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There, look. Oh, Che, yeah.
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00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,150
LAUGHTER
122
00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:11,350
That's Che Guevara.
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00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,590
I-I know who it is.
124
00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:15,110
On a balloon. Yeah.
125
00:05:16,470 --> 00:05:19,110
I thought it was important
to just raise awareness.
126
00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,790
Of Che Guevara? Of Che Guevara?
127
00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:22,150
Of Che on a balloon. Yeah.
128
00:05:22,150 --> 00:05:23,550
And if I, if you give me the five
points
129
00:05:23,550 --> 00:05:25,870
I will donate my fee to
the Cuban revolution.
130
00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:27,830
LAUGHTER
131
00:05:27,830 --> 00:05:29,630
They do have a GoFundMe, I've just
found out,
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00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,110
the Cuban revolution. I...
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LAUGHTER
134
00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:34,830
What is the political statement you
were making?
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00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:37,230
I'm making the statement that
balloons are...
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00:05:37,230 --> 00:05:38,830
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Inflation.
Balloons are pricey,
137
00:05:38,830 --> 00:05:39,990
that's it, inflation!
138
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:41,910
Inflation.
LAUGHTER
139
00:05:41,910 --> 00:05:44,910
APPLAUSE
140
00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:48,350
Actually, you didn't say it had
to be extraordinarily good,
141
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:49,670
you just said extraordinary.
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Mine's extraordinarily shite.
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00:05:51,110 --> 00:05:53,430
Ah.
LAUGHTER
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00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:56,310
APPLAUSE
145
00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:58,150
Hello, Steve. Hello. You all right?
146
00:05:58,150 --> 00:06:00,670
What I've brought in is
a photograph of two friends.
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00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:01,710
Here it is. Ah.
148
00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:04,830
LAUGHTER
149
00:06:04,830 --> 00:06:06,390
SOPHIE: That's terrifying.
150
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,710
STEVE: The gentleman on the right,
uh, who,
151
00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:11,430
whose name is, uh, Glug Gravies.
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00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:12,950
Um, he was a,
153
00:06:12,950 --> 00:06:15,470
a geography teacher who took
early retirement.
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00:06:15,470 --> 00:06:18,670
And then his friend, Alan Hornes,
runs a pub quiz.
155
00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:21,430
It is sinister, isn't it?
156
00:06:21,430 --> 00:06:22,950
I mean we're not...
157
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:27,510
..we're not great-looking guys
with our own faces,
158
00:06:27,510 --> 00:06:30,550
but Jesus Christ.
LAUGHTER
159
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:32,310
You must have thought about
it, though.
160
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:34,270
You... I must have thought about
swapping our faces?
161
00:06:34,270 --> 00:06:37,670
Hmm. No. On a long flight all
I think about is your torso
162
00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,190
and one of my eyes, one of yours,
163
00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,790
your legs, my arms
164
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:42,670
and just see what,
you know, see how that works.
165
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,750
LAUGHTER
166
00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:47,390
It's funny, innit, it's a relatively
short thing he said to me
167
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:49,310
and yet I still tuned out
halfway through.
168
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:51,990
LAUGHTER
169
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,830
Sometimes, I just mark on instinct.
Hmm. OK.
170
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:57,550
I, I didn't find
Che Guevara's balloon going down
171
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,870
even remotely extraordinary,
I'm giving it one point.
172
00:06:59,870 --> 00:07:01,550
I don't like looking at our faces,
173
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:03,030
even if they're chopped off
174
00:07:03,030 --> 00:07:05,350
and put on the other face,
I'm giving that two points.
175
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:06,990
I think you're perfectly good at art.
176
00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:08,270
All right, thank you, I'll take
that.
177
00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:09,630
I'll give you three points.
178
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,630
Shouty teas, four points.
179
00:07:11,630 --> 00:07:14,870
The Paul McCaffrey scream
of despair, five points.
180
00:07:14,870 --> 00:07:16,550
OK, well done,
John Robins, five points.
181
00:07:16,550 --> 00:07:18,870
APPLAUSE
182
00:07:18,870 --> 00:07:20,750
Right, let's get on with
the task proper, shall we?
183
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:22,110
OK then, Greg.
184
00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:24,470
And get a load of this one,
if you can bear it.
185
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:35,190
DOORBELL RINGS
186
00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:38,790
Alex. Nick Mohammed.
187
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:40,270
Hi, yes.
188
00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:41,710
Present. Thank you.
189
00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:47,030
Oh, what are you wearing?
190
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,390
My special belt.
191
00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:51,910
Hello. I was hiding.
192
00:07:51,910 --> 00:07:54,710
You were hiding?
You look like a sort of action hero.
193
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:57,110
Or as close to an action hero as
you're ever gonna look.
194
00:07:59,030 --> 00:08:01,390
Sophie. Yes. Are you all right?
195
00:08:01,390 --> 00:08:02,870
Just taking precautions.
196
00:08:02,870 --> 00:08:04,390
Right. Oh, God, OK.
197
00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:06,990
Hello.
198
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:08,230
You wearing a girdle?
199
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:13,070
Be the most impressive load bearer.
200
00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:18,150
Be the most impressive
load bearer. Hmm.
201
00:08:18,150 --> 00:08:20,750
In 15 minutes' time,
you must stand on the doormat,
202
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,710
wave with one hand above your head
203
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:25,190
and give a nice big thumbs up
with the other,
204
00:08:25,190 --> 00:08:27,470
whilst bearing the most
impressive load.
205
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,990
Right.
206
00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:34,830
Your load must not be
touching anything other than you.
207
00:08:34,830 --> 00:08:37,150
Your time starts when
Alex interrupts you.
208
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,310
It's called a support belt.
209
00:08:39,350 --> 00:08:40,830
Your time starts when Alex int...
210
00:08:40,830 --> 00:08:41,990
I'm wearing a girdle, Steve.
211
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,990
You're wearing a girdle.
212
00:08:44,990 --> 00:08:47,990
Your time starts when Alex inter..
Good luck with the task!
213
00:08:47,990 --> 00:08:49,550
I've started the clock. Oh, yeah.
214
00:08:50,510 --> 00:08:52,790
Your time starts...
215
00:08:52,790 --> 00:08:53,910
..when Alex...
216
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:56,670
..interrupts you. You.
217
00:08:58,150 --> 00:09:01,350
I-I missed my opportunity.
I'm gonna try again.
218
00:09:04,990 --> 00:09:06,790
You have to say something.
219
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:10,190
I'll have to interrupt you
physically.
220
00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:20,670
Does that count? Fair enough, mate.
I'm wearing a weightlifter's belt!
221
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,830
A good sign of Alex being
an absolute narcissist, I think,
222
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:28,150
the attention he wanted for wearing
that weightlifter's belt.
223
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,710
There's no reason for him to wear it.
224
00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:31,110
He's just going, "Everyone look at
me."
225
00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:32,670
Everyone goes, "Oh,
he's such a nice guy."
226
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:33,750
He's not, the guy's a prick.
227
00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:36,750
LAUGHTER
Um, OK.
228
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,710
it's all about load bearing, right?
229
00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:41,790
Yeah. We start with a bit of Jo
and a bit of So.
230
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,510
OK, well, I suppose I'll take that.
231
00:09:43,510 --> 00:09:44,750
Yeah, yeah.
232
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,070
It's...what's this for,
to balance it out?
233
00:09:47,070 --> 00:09:47,990
It's for strong men.
234
00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:49,430
Oh, so can I stick stuff in there?
235
00:09:49,430 --> 00:09:51,110
Do whatever you want, Joanne.
236
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:54,830
Hmm, what's impressive as a load?
237
00:09:55,910 --> 00:09:57,830
What's an impressive load?
238
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,670
Like, could I wear that
around my neck?
239
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:02,190
No.
240
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:10,750
Brought the bucket of balls.
241
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:13,710
I mean, look, to be honest, a lot of
this is just looking in that shed
242
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,670
and sort of having
a panic attack, isn't it, really?
243
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:21,310
LAUGHTER
Well, well, well. Look at this.
244
00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:27,070
I think it's all about utilising
different structures, isn't it,
245
00:10:27,070 --> 00:10:29,310
within your own body.
246
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:31,950
Are you in pain?
247
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,350
Not at all.
248
00:10:33,350 --> 00:10:34,590
I never felt better.
249
00:10:36,990 --> 00:10:41,590
So I've maximised the load by using
the pegging system.
250
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:43,270
Yeah. But that's a load in itself
251
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:45,070
and then I've loaded the loader
252
00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:46,510
and then there's some
steering wheels
253
00:10:46,510 --> 00:10:48,390
and hula hoops around the neck
for balance.
254
00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:50,990
Oh, and a plunger in there
somewhere, yeah, look at that.
255
00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:52,150
Lovely.
256
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,430
This is good cos then what I can do
257
00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:58,030
is put the balls on the skirt.
258
00:10:58,030 --> 00:10:59,670
Shall I just pour them in? Yeah.
259
00:10:59,670 --> 00:11:00,870
I'm ready.
260
00:11:04,350 --> 00:11:05,670
Right.
261
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:08,070
It's quite wet. Yeah, it, it is
quite wet,
262
00:11:08,070 --> 00:11:09,510
I wasn't expecting that, were you?
263
00:11:09,510 --> 00:11:10,510
No.
264
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,470
Release.
265
00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:19,110
Oh, no.
266
00:11:19,110 --> 00:11:21,630
WHISTLE BLOWS, DISH CLATTERS
267
00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:25,910
Did anyone...?
No-one saw that, did they?
268
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:28,150
APPLAUSE
269
00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:33,390
Well, interesting.
270
00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,710
I-I thought both ladies did what we
call on this show
271
00:11:35,710 --> 00:11:36,950
a shed panic.
272
00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:39,270
LAUGHTER
273
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,590
Joanne. Yeah.
Did you think it was impressive?
274
00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:42,830
I mean, yeah. Ah.
275
00:11:42,830 --> 00:11:44,150
I clipped all the cutlery
276
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:45,550
individually onto
that pegging thing.
277
00:11:45,550 --> 00:11:46,750
I mean that's the one thing
278
00:11:46,750 --> 00:11:49,110
I would say you did,
you did quite well.
279
00:11:49,110 --> 00:11:51,910
Yeah. Aside from that, what I
wrote down is, you,
280
00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:55,510
"You look like an old lady who's had
a fall into a room of her own tat."
281
00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:57,830
LAUGHTER
282
00:11:57,830 --> 00:12:00,150
This is Sophie and Joanne
bearing their impressive loads.
283
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,990
LAUGHTER
284
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,950
If I didn't know what this task was,
285
00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:08,950
I wouldn't say that woman's got
an impressive load.
286
00:12:10,910 --> 00:12:12,430
Yeah. I look deranged, I...
287
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,270
Oh, oh.
288
00:12:14,270 --> 00:12:17,270
You, I mean you look like you've done
a lot of shouting in a high street.
289
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,590
LAUGHTER
290
00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:22,150
You, Sophie looks like
she's turned up to
291
00:12:22,150 --> 00:12:24,750
a beach party that everyone has
desperately tried
292
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:25,870
to stop her finding out about.
293
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,950
LAUGHTER
294
00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:31,350
I mean, it's hard to
know which one of these two
295
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:33,150
you want to turn up l-less.
296
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:38,230
Both, both of them are saying,
"I didn't get any of the WhatsApps."
297
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:42,110
Have you got some statistics for me?
Yes, we did weigh
298
00:12:42,110 --> 00:12:43,190
the amount of load they,
299
00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:44,750
they were bearing. Uh,
300
00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:47,070
Sophie, 13.2kg
301
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,710
versus 5.4 for Joanne,
302
00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:52,310
half of which was the traffic cone.
LAUGHTER
303
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,110
Right, who are we gonna see next?
304
00:12:54,110 --> 00:12:56,470
It's time to get a load of Nick
and Steve.
305
00:12:57,550 --> 00:12:59,230
Bear an impressive load.
306
00:12:59,230 --> 00:13:00,430
Bear.
307
00:13:00,430 --> 00:13:01,470
Bear.
308
00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:03,470
Bear. Bear.
309
00:13:03,470 --> 00:13:05,030
Got a rare tiger, don't know why.
310
00:13:05,030 --> 00:13:08,190
But it's quite impressive,
also it's got a sort of natural...
311
00:13:10,430 --> 00:13:11,670
How heavy is the caravan?
312
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,230
I'm only kidding.
313
00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:16,230
Um, is there some dress-up clothes?
314
00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,630
If you go into the secret room.
315
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:21,670
The secret room. Yeah, it's
in the caravan. Ah.
316
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:24,670
Right, if there's a way of
sort of doing kind of.
317
00:13:25,750 --> 00:13:27,350
Have you done this sort
of thing before?
318
00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:28,710
No. Right.
319
00:13:28,710 --> 00:13:31,030
Have you found the secret
room? Um...
320
00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:32,910
This? Yeah. Oh, my God!
321
00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:36,590
You're kidding!
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
322
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,710
NICK GRUNTS
Come on, Linda.
323
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,190
Nick. Oh, yeah.
324
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:44,510
Um, right.
325
00:13:47,270 --> 00:13:50,390
What I'm gonna do is create somebody
who's riding the tiger
326
00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:52,790
and the tiger
and the person are on my back.
327
00:13:56,830 --> 00:13:58,190
We can do this.
328
00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:00,790
We can do this.
329
00:14:00,790 --> 00:14:02,070
Another six inches, Steve.
330
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:03,270
It's easy for you to say.
331
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:09,910
How to do it
and still maintain some dignity,
332
00:14:09,910 --> 00:14:11,150
that is the question.
333
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,990
AUDIENCE: Oh!
334
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:16,550
OK.
335
00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:19,390
Oh, oh, oh.
336
00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:20,430
There you are.
337
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:27,470
It's quite windy, Steve. Yeah.
338
00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,350
How long have I got, Alex?
339
00:14:32,350 --> 00:14:33,550
You've got two minutes, Nick.
340
00:14:34,590 --> 00:14:40,950
We are attempting something that's
not been attempted before on UK TV.
341
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:48,270
APPLAUSE
342
00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,550
Oh, you've kept your dignity.
Thank you.
343
00:14:58,550 --> 00:15:02,870
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
344
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:05,910
Well, Steve, what a...what a showman.
345
00:15:05,910 --> 00:15:09,230
You know what, when I found out
there was a secret dressing-up room,
346
00:15:09,230 --> 00:15:11,710
I was that little five-year-old
boy again.
347
00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:14,790
And to see you acting like
a five-year-old boy was very creepy.
348
00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:16,670
LAUGHTER
349
00:15:16,670 --> 00:15:19,110
One of my favourite moments from
the series so far is
350
00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:20,590
the question and answer,
351
00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:22,870
"Have you ever done this before?"
"No."
352
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:28,310
The way you picked that chair up
I thought oh,
353
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:30,710
well he's obviously done street
performance or something.
354
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,390
The confidence with which you...
355
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,110
Uh, yeah, I can pick up a chair.
356
00:15:34,110 --> 00:15:35,990
LAUGHTER
357
00:15:35,990 --> 00:15:37,350
You didn't have to wave
358
00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:39,710
and do the thumbs up for any certain
length of time but...
359
00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:42,030
Oh, you just had to be able to do it.
Very, very briefly, you did it.
360
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:43,350
Oh, the load was on his chin. Yeah.
361
00:15:43,350 --> 00:15:45,590
LAUGHTER
362
00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:50,310
Right, I'm suspending all joy for
a few minutes.
363
00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:52,590
Why? For these adverts.
364
00:15:52,590 --> 00:15:54,550
APPLAUSE
365
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:05,640
Hello, everybody.
366
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,840
Welcome back to the second part
of today's Taskmaster hour.
367
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:13,240
Yes, and as Darwin said, a man who
dares to waste one hour of time
368
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,040
has not discovered the
value of life. Whoopsie.
369
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,000
LAUGHTER
Our contestants are trying to become
370
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,320
the most impressive load bearers.
371
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,040
We only have one man left to see
and his John is Robins.
372
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:27,880
Oh, I don't mind that.
373
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:31,640
Have we got any model Gregs around
374
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:36,120
because it would be quite impressive
to have Greg on the old shoulders?
375
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,360
Yeah, I can get you some Gregs.
376
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,040
Yeah, can you get me some
Gregs, please.
377
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,800
I've got some little Gregs
378
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,640
and I've got one more big
Greg coming.
379
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,960
So, what I'm thinking is...
380
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,120
..well, it's a classic case of
a gutter of Gregs.
381
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,520
LAUGHTER
382
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,120
John. Yes, uh, Alex.
383
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,680
Got a Greg for you.
Oh, this is good stuff.
384
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,040
A Greg for your gutter.
385
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,200
This is great.
386
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,800
Greg. This is Greg, sorry.
387
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,400
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm proud to present
388
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,080
the most impressive load ever
carried by man or woman,
389
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:16,520
feast your eyes on the one and only
390
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:21,600
gutter of Gregs!
391
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:22,960
Yes.
392
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,680
Ladies and gentlemen,
393
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:44,120
there is nothing we cannot do
with a gutter of Gregs.
394
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:46,440
WHISTLE BLOWS
That's your time up, John.
395
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,920
Thank you, Alex.
396
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,680
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
APPLAUSE
397
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,040
You think that appealing to my ego
398
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,360
is gonna get you points
on this show, do you?
399
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:58,600
Yeah. Very wise.
400
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,040
LAUGHTER
401
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,400
Well, you just have
to work out how impressed you are.
402
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,200
So, first of all - Sophie
and Joanne, who looked like this.
403
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,920
Yeah.
LAUGHTER
404
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,840
And then the three gentlemen,
uh, did these things.
405
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,320
SOPHIE: Oh, that's, yeah.
We have Nick.
406
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,840
Come on, that looks good.
407
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,720
NICK: Why have they blurred
the cow's face out?
408
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,680
LAUGHTER
We have Steve.
409
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,960
That doesn't look as good as I
remember, Steve.
410
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,120
And then we have John's.
411
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,560
It's a bit much, though, isn't it?
412
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,840
It is.
413
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:32,440
I'm sorry, Joanne, yours is
the least impressive final load.
414
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,240
One to Joanne. Five.
415
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,120
Two points for Sophie.
416
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,480
Three for Steve, the
narrative was impressive. OK.
417
00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,480
I'm showing humility by giving four
points to John,
418
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:45,040
and I'm sorry - the final image that
I found the most impressive
419
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,720
was old snooker cue umbrella
chin, and I stand by it.
420
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,120
Five points to Nick Mohammed.
Well done.
421
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:53,040
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
422
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,120
Can you tell me the scores?
423
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:56,520
Uh, yes, Sophie and Steve both on
five,
424
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,560
John and Nick both on nine!
425
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,480
CHEERING
And Joanne is there on two.
426
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:06,280
What is next, young fellow, m'lad?
427
00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:08,040
Ooh, well, let's just sit back
428
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:12,360
and have a right laugh watching
the Fresh Prince of Mid-Air.
429
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,760
What on Earth is going on in
here, then?
430
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,560
Oh!
431
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,280
Oh, that's clever, in't it.
432
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,360
Ooh, yeah.
433
00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:37,480
Wow.
434
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,040
It took me a while
to get it just right.
435
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:42,960
Yeah.
436
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,040
Magic.
437
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,480
Lovely, love it.
438
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,640
Hi, Nick.
439
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,800
Hi, Alex.
440
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,120
Could you turn the hairdryer off?
It's a bit noisy.
441
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,400
Yeah, sure. Oh.
442
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,480
That was very good. Yeah?
443
00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,840
Oh, I saw that. Pardon?
444
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,360
Cheeky. What do you mean?
445
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,840
The string and the... there was
a lot going on there.
446
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,200
Oh, I did it too early.
447
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,800
SHE LAUGHS
448
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,360
Take the most dramatic photo
of yourself in mid-air.
449
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,600
You have 15 minutes
and may take five photos.
450
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,960
In mid-air? I've never been a good
jumper.
451
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,160
Your time starts now.
452
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,520
Well, this is gonna be a health
and safety ball ache, isn't it?
453
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:31,960
The most dramatic photo
of yourself.
454
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,320
Do you know what I'd love, is
to get, you know,
455
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,360
the hair bands that they wear,
the really bad knives to your head?
456
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,720
Do you have to be actually in
mid-air
457
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,080
or could you be pretending to
levitate?
458
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:47,600
We've got a hairdryer.
We have got a hairdryer.
459
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,960
Ooh. No. Yes, OK.
460
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,960
I've been doing a selfie on
the top of a very tall building.
461
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:59,040
I've fallen and I'm plunging as
I'm talking the selfie.
462
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,360
I'll have a wander.
Yeah, see what strikes you.
463
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:02,680
I'll have a wander and a think.
464
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,160
Photo of yourself in the air.
465
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:09,560
Right I'm gonna have
a wander round. Yeah.
466
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:13,920
Yeah, that hasn't been very helpful,
wandering around, really.
467
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,160
APPLAUSE
468
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,400
You got a history of jumping, Sophie?
469
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,040
No, I'm not a great jumper. I'm more
of a slut dropper.
470
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,440
I'm very floor-based
with my movement, yeah.
471
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,240
OK. Joanne?
472
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,760
I do all my own stunts.
Yeah. Oh, wow.
473
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:35,040
Always have, always will.
I enjoy the adrenaline.
474
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:38,160
Highest you've ever jumped? You know
I'm not great on measurements, now.
475
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,080
I'd say like a metre.
476
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:41,960
Shall we all have a little jump?
477
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,520
Yeah, why not.
478
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:44,640
Shall we all have a little jump?
479
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,000
Nick, you may as well sit down.
No, I'm quite good.
480
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,400
LAUGHTER
Genuinely quite good.
481
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,280
Three, two, one, jump.
482
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,320
It was Nick. It was Nick.
483
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:56,840
It was Nick. Good. Yeah.
484
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,480
I apologise.
Can we see them in mid-air?
485
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,840
Well, we're going to see them
montaging first of all,
486
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,760
and then we'll see the photos,
so enjoy this, Greg.
487
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,480
Right, well, we need to light a
fire. We can light a fire.
488
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,520
Good, let's light a fire.
489
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,280
Right, now Alex, I might need
a bit of help.
490
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,160
OK. Do you want me to come
with you?
491
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,640
Yeah, please, yes.
492
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,160
Now, I've been experimenting with
how to get some G-force into my
face.
493
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,480
'Course you have.
494
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:26,880
I thought this would be quite
a nice... Huh?
495
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,320
Do you feel.... Yeah.
..G-force on my face?
496
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:30,920
Horrible. Ah, yeah.
497
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,320
Wow.
498
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,960
It's my big day.
How's the day gone?
499
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:40,320
It started out OK. Things took a
turn. Yeah.
500
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,560
One, two, three. Go.
501
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,920
LAUGHTER
502
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:50,600
Hang on, hang on.
503
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,840
LAUGHTER CONTINUES
504
00:22:58,040 --> 00:22:59,400
Right.
505
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,720
I've got my parachute.
506
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:01,920
Your what?
507
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:02,960
My parachute.
508
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,480
Ready?
509
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,160
Good luck. Thank you.
510
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,320
Oh, no, I'm gonna need...
511
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:16,640
You're gonna need to take me from
higher up, Alex.
512
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,720
Oh.
513
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,160
Go!
514
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,720
You've gotta give me some G-force.
515
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,040
Go.
516
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,040
You ready? Here we go. On your marks.
Yeah. Go.
517
00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:47,720
Yeah, not bad.
518
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,960
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
519
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,440
Can you justify to me that you were
in mid-air, Nick?
520
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,800
You know when you put just
a few things in a washing machine
521
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,200
and it's going round quite slow.
They sort of... there is a moment
522
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,840
where they sort of suspend, as it's
kind of...
523
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,240
Yes, of course they are
technically in mid-air,
524
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:07,240
so that's what you were hoping
for. The way I interpreted it...
Yes.
525
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,600
..was I was watching a father of
three rammed into some tyres
526
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:15,760
being pushed into some baked
bean cans. I was very tyre-d.
527
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:20,080
OK, here is Nick dramatically in
mid-air.
528
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,080
LAUGHTER
529
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,560
I mean you arguably could,
couldn't be less mid-air.
530
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,560
Whose can we see next?
Jilted Joanne.
531
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,320
I think you might be back in
the game.
532
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,040
Taskmaster's proving
to me that I have the creativity of
533
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,200
a wheelie bin.
534
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,960
So, this is a jilted bride on her
wedding day.
535
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,800
She's just found out her husband's
riding the nanny.
536
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,480
Did you say why she's wearing
an eye-patch?
537
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,000
She's just had laser,
she's just had laser eye.
538
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,760
ALEX: And that's for the wedding?
539
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,360
On the way to the wedding.
540
00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,120
God, she's had a bad day, hasn't he?
Exactly.
541
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,520
It's a hell of an image.
542
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,400
If you want to see the rest of their
mid-air pictures, you're gonna have
543
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:07,000
to come back promptly,
and if you're off for a poo,
544
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,800
do factor-in the wipe, you never
545
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,120
factor-in wipe time. Go on, off you
pop.
546
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:12,960
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
547
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,480
Hello, and welcome back to another
548
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,520
life-affirming episode of Taskmaster.
549
00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:30,080
We're part way seeing some dramatic
mid-air pictures, aren't we, Alex?
550
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,320
Oh, we sure are, and Nick rolled
around in some tyres.
551
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,800
The next picture is the one taken by
Sophie in mid-air.
552
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,480
I mean, I cannot wait.
553
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:46,440
APPLAUSE
554
00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,800
Was it another shed panic,
did you run into...? No, no,
555
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,440
I planned this. I've been wanting
to get him in that pigeon head from
556
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,120
the moment I saw him.
557
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,480
People do, people do. Yeah.
558
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,840
And how nice for once that it's
559
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:02,800
the pigeons themselves that are
covered in shit.
560
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,480
All right, who's next?
561
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,800
Do you want to see Robins
in flight?
562
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:07,640
Please.
563
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,680
Bloody hell. NICK: That's great.
564
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:10,840
That's good.
565
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,360
ALEX: He's been shot out of the
cannon.
566
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,120
He's going towards
the little bucket of fire.
567
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:15,240
No eye-patch, though.
568
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,640
LAUGHTER
569
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,080
Did you get in a cannon?
570
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,400
Yes.
571
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,200
You really want this, don't you?
572
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:26,520
Well, I mean, look at the air.
573
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:28,400
Look at the air I've got,
I'm pleased with that.
574
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,720
You've got nice air.
You've got a bucket of fire.
575
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:31,720
You've got a pretend cannon
576
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,800
and you've got that prick.
There's a lot there.
577
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,480
Who's next? The final one -
578
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,760
have a look at Steve Pemberton
in mid-air.
579
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,440
STEVE LAUGHS
580
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,200
APPLAUSE
581
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,240
Oh, it's a failed parachute.
582
00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:50,920
It's a failed parachute.
583
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,800
I like the cut rope, that's drama.
Yes.
584
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,200
This captures the
moment of realisation
585
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,520
that he's going to splat.
586
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:59,000
SOPHIE: Oh.
587
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,760
STEVE: And you see the, the G-force?
588
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,320
I hoped that they would've painted
out the elastic band, which...
589
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,960
You would hope they would've
made it look like
590
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:07,960
you were in mid-air as well.
591
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,920
LAUGHTER
592
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,800
I'll put all five up for you, Greg,
593
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,160
and then you can work out which is
the most dramatic mid-air picture.
594
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,080
Oh, Christ. There they are.
OK, well, let's...
595
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,480
..let's deal with Nick first of all.
596
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,440
Right, of course, of course.
597
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:20,680
LAUGHING: OK.
598
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,040
It looks like a completely
different task.
599
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:25,360
Well, I'm gonna give you one point
for that. Thank you.
600
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,280
You're welcome. Thank you.
601
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,320
And then there's got to be a jump up.
602
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,960
I'm gonna give John,
603
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,440
Joanne and Steve four points.
604
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,720
But I'm gonna give that insane
605
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,680
pigeon madness five.
606
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,040
I don't know why, I just think it's
the most dramatic
607
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,320
because possibly,
608
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:41,840
because I'm worried about her state
of mind.
609
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,160
But that's, that's the way I'm
scoring it. Four, four, four, five.
610
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,720
APPLAUSE
611
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,040
Let's try and squeeze another one in,
shall we?
612
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,760
Ooh, er, vicar, isn't it?
613
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,080
One more, then, and it's a tie.
614
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:10,160
Oh, Jesus.
615
00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,080
Hey, Joanne. Hi, Alex.
616
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,240
Wanna have a little lie down?
617
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,920
Ooh.
618
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,120
Hello.
619
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,520
Hello. Oh, hello. Make
yourself comfortable.
620
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:22,960
I shall.
621
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,480
Oh, lovely.
622
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,120
Just nice to have a lay down,
isn't it?
623
00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,840
Ah, OK.
624
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,400
I'm quite TIE-red.
625
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,160
There goes the task, shall
I get it now?
626
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,400
Can you reach? Yeah.
627
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:40,800
Ah,
628
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,120
and I've got a tie as a bonus.
629
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:44,680
Ah, this is nice.
630
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,320
JOANNE: Tie yourself to the bed.
631
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,800
Most tied-up person wins.
632
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,240
You must be
horizontal whilst in the lab.
633
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,800
If you pull down
634
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,160
the terrible tie, you are
disqualified.
635
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,040
Oh, how do I know which is
the terrible tie?
636
00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,440
Oh, you'll know.
637
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,400
Your time starts now.
638
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,040
Is, is...
639
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,320
..is going up like that horizontal?
640
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,280
Going up like what? Like that.
641
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,040
Ooh, no, that's not horizontal.
Is that horizontal?
642
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:10,120
No!
643
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,480
So this is horizontal.
That's horizontal.
644
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,320
So I need something to help
me access.
645
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,320
Just out of reach, Alex.
646
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:19,800
How the fuck do I take them down?
647
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,720
I sometimes wonder whether you knew
that the,
648
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,000
what the show was that you were
signing up to.
649
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,720
They said the less you watched it,
the better. That's what they said.
650
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,240
They say that to everyone.
651
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,600
You do fairly
regularly seem incredulous
652
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,440
about being asked to do things.
653
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:42,600
Let's just have a look at it.
654
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:45,200
OK, well, we're gonna start
with J&J -
655
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:49,160
no, not the American multi-national
pharmaceutical and medical
technologies corporation -
656
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,120
it's Joanne and John.
657
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,920
Can I levit...? I can't...
I'd have to levitate myself up.
658
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,400
Uh, if you could levitate
horizontally, that'd be perfect.
659
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:00,840
This is a bad idea.
That's not a good idea.
660
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,120
Don't hit yourself in the face
with a buckle.
661
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:05,320
What do you need?
662
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:06,600
I need the ties. Yeah.
663
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,560
I obviously c... Oh, no, thank you.
664
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,720
Ah, for God's sake.
665
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:17,560
Ah, thank God.
666
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:18,920
Here we go.
667
00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:20,640
Doesn't look terrible to me.
668
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,080
This is real '80s dad vibes,
isn't it?
669
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,320
Is that tied to the bed?
670
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,800
Yeah. Oh, no.
671
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,240
Some of the ties seem
to have prayers on them, Alex.
672
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:32,280
Is it a prayer?
673
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,160
Why do you think it's a prayer, John?
674
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,640
What else are you going
on write on a tie?
675
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:37,960
Oh, it's Welsh.
676
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:43,680
HE READS WELSH
677
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,480
This is something from like
a really low-end brothel, isn't it?
678
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:51,840
Hate the low-end ones.
679
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,400
At what point are you gonna start
tying yourself together?
680
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,320
Maybe I'll make a start.
681
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,680
It's kind of like
a survival course but I,
682
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,160
I'd actually rather drink
a jar of piss than do this.
683
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,720
Right, I'll put that down.
LAUGHTER
684
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,960
LAUGHTER
685
00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:14,560
Ah, this is good.
686
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:21,040
I don't know why I stayed
the wrong way round for so long!
687
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,840
LAUGHTER
688
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,800
Right, you have still got one minute.
689
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:27,320
Is that the terrible tie?
690
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:31,600
SHE ATTEMPTS TO READ WELSH
691
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:35,240
You've got 20 seconds.
692
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,000
This better not be some snuff
movie, now.
693
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,040
WHISTLE BLOWS
694
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,760
Two on the head and one
on the wrist, is it?
695
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,400
OK, I'm just gonna just check on the,
696
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,720
on the ties.
697
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,600
You're so mean! Yes, it's tied.
698
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,120
The rest are good, Joanne.
699
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,000
Thanks, John, you seem pretty
tied up.
700
00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,960
HE LAUGHS
This is actually quite tight.
701
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:06,040
I'll be in my dressing room if
anyone needs me.
702
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:06,920
Right.
703
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:12,880
I'm so sorry that I can't give extra
points for the,
704
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,560
for your exit.
705
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,320
Cos it was really impressive.
706
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,040
They didn't stop me,
no-one said they'd untie me.
707
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,520
At one point, you announced that
the experience,
708
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,120
uh, was like a low-end brothel.
709
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:24,800
Yeah. And, uh, at the time you were
710
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,080
a woman tied to a camp bed
with one tie.
711
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,760
A lazy brothel of middle-aged
men, yeah.
712
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,120
Uh, but she did well.
She got a lot of ties on.
713
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,080
Yeah, she tied herself up
with 15 ties.
714
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:37,840
Uh, John was two on the hands,
one on the wrist,
715
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:39,320
and then ten ties all tied together
716
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,440
to make one long tie rope, which
went round his middle and his chest.
717
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,000
Good. Who's next?
718
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,120
OK, now it's for
a tie between Bolton and Leeds.
719
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,040
Oh. It's Sophie and Nick.
720
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,520
I'm just gonna strategise
here first.
721
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:54,240
OK, how long are you gonna
strategise for?
722
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,120
Um, just...
723
00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:57,240
..just a second.
724
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:01,280
I thi...I'm, I'm done.
725
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,200
Whilst in the lab, you
must be horizontal.
726
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,040
So does that mean that
my sort of back
727
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,560
has to be parallel to the floor?
728
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:08,520
Exactly that. But I could be
on all fours, couldn't I?
729
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,800
So that's allowed, isn't it?
730
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,200
That's horizontal.
731
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,520
There's something I've
missed, isn't there?
732
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,600
Because this is what you kind of...
733
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,240
..you know, it's usually how it
works, isn't it?
734
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,800
There's something I've missed in
the room.
735
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,440
It didn't say I need to use
a tie to tie myself to the bed.
736
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,480
That was the trick,
whilst in this room.
737
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,000
I've got it, I know what I'm doing.
738
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,440
Make sure you're horizontal.
739
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,760
I'm, I am. Quite a,
740
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,120
quite a fall there, so be careful.
Ooh, yeah.
741
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,680
Horizontal, but then as soon as
I've left,
742
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,200
I can actually be any...
743
00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,080
How long have I got, Greg?
744
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,360
Pardon? Uh, Alex.
745
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,840
No-one's ever called me Greg before.
746
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:48,120
Ever, in the whole show?
747
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,480
Ever, in the whole show,
I've been waiting. Thank you.
748
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:51,560
Right.
749
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:54,560
Hello.
750
00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,040
Ah, right.
751
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,040
Oh.
752
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,240
Uh, sugar. Um...
753
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:08,240
I've got a lot of rope
and no way of doing it.
754
00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:11,720
Feel like there's something
I've not got right here.
755
00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:13,760
Tie yourself to the bed.
756
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:16,120
You've gotta be horizontal whilst in
the lab.
757
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:17,560
Whilst in the lab?
758
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,160
I can't get out, out now.
759
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:20,680
You've got three and a half minutes.
760
00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:28,680
And I don't,
761
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:30,960
but I don't know what this is
gaining me.
762
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,680
Um...
763
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:37,720
I don't think I've done this
one right.
764
00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:39,960
LAUGHTER
765
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,960
One minute left.
766
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:44,760
Yeah.
767
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,160
Thread it through.
Thread it through.
768
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:48,440
Are you threading it through?
769
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:50,200
Yeah. Through the bed and over me,
770
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,960
so there's no way
I'm not roped in here.
771
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,720
Works quite well, actually.
772
00:34:54,720 --> 00:34:57,040
One minute left.
Right. Oh, God, quick.
773
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:57,840
Yeah.
774
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,960
SHE SIGHS, WHISTLE BLOWS
775
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,360
No. Um...
776
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,840
WHISTLE BLOWS
777
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,360
Oh, so close.
778
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,040
So you're still tied to the bed?
779
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:12,960
Very much,
I mean, it's a very efficient tie.
780
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,560
Yeah, too efficient, really.
781
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:15,880
Ah.
782
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:17,080
There we go.
783
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:20,240
Bye then, Nick.
784
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:21,760
See you later, Alex.
785
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,040
I'll get the door, don't worry.
786
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:24,040
Yeah.
787
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,800
No, I am stuck now, I think.
788
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,080
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
789
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:35,640
My favourite moment of both of those
790
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,360
is just hearing
Nick's little voice say,
791
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,720
"I don't think I've
done this one well."
792
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,160
You can't actually see my face at
that point,
793
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,560
but I was crying.
794
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:44,000
I was actually crying.
795
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,600
Talk me through the strategy.
It was quite good, I thought.
796
00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,320
I don't think I had one, really.
797
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:50,640
You went and got a rope.
I did. Just crawled about
798
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,120
and got a rope and tied myself up.
799
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,120
Well, don't talk yourself down,
you saw what Nick was doing.
800
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:55,920
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
801
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,600
Nick, what was going through your
mind when you were
802
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:01,040
crawling around on the floor with a
camp bed strapped to your back?
803
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,560
I felt like a wood louse
that had inverted itself
804
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,000
and just couldn't get back. Once I,
805
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,760
once I flipped, I just couldn't,
there was nothing I could do. No!
806
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:14,160
Yeah. But what I'm interested in is
why did you flip?
807
00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,440
Yeah, well, it's a good question.
Yeah, yeah.
808
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:18,840
That's another part done,
809
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:20,160
join us for part four,
810
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,800
when one lucky winner has
to look happy onstage with
811
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,080
a deflated Che Guevara balloon.
812
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:26,800
This is primetime, baby.
813
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,800
They can't take the BAFTA off us now!
814
00:36:39,420 --> 00:36:41,780
Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster.
815
00:36:41,780 --> 00:36:43,220
It's the last part of the show
816
00:36:43,220 --> 00:36:45,700
and there is a tricky tie task
which needs completing.
817
00:36:45,700 --> 00:36:47,060
That's right, Greg, they're trying
818
00:36:47,060 --> 00:36:50,220
to tie themselves up as best as
possible, while lying horizontally.
819
00:36:50,220 --> 00:36:52,580
But if during the process they
pull down
820
00:36:52,580 --> 00:36:55,420
the terrible tie, it's all over.
821
00:36:55,420 --> 00:36:57,020
Finally, a man perhaps best known
822
00:36:57,020 --> 00:36:58,740
for his role as Mattis in Free
Jimmy,
823
00:36:58,740 --> 00:37:01,420
the 2006 animation which
also starred Woody Harrelson,
824
00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:03,060
it's Steve Pemberton.
825
00:37:04,820 --> 00:37:06,460
Oh, now you're talking.
826
00:37:06,460 --> 00:37:08,100
I want to higher the bed.
827
00:37:08,100 --> 00:37:09,740
So if I come off here.
828
00:37:10,940 --> 00:37:15,260
I thought there'd be a way
to screw, ah, bollocks.
829
00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:20,980
Is this the horrible one?
830
00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:22,500
Ah, it's something in Welsh.
831
00:37:24,460 --> 00:37:25,940
Come on!
832
00:37:27,980 --> 00:37:32,740
This is like sort of hook-a-duck
but with ties
833
00:37:32,740 --> 00:37:34,580
and lying down.
834
00:37:34,580 --> 00:37:37,100
I want different body
parts involved.
835
00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:38,700
Oh, thank you, God.
836
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:41,140
The tie gods are shining down on me.
837
00:37:41,140 --> 00:37:43,380
Oh, thank you.
838
00:37:44,940 --> 00:37:46,260
Yeah. Oh!
839
00:37:48,980 --> 00:37:49,980
Ah.
840
00:37:51,180 --> 00:37:53,180
I can't keep up with
the number of ties
841
00:37:53,180 --> 00:37:54,740
the tie gods are giving me.
842
00:37:54,740 --> 00:37:56,780
It's a whole TIE-rade!
843
00:37:56,780 --> 00:37:58,100
Oh.
844
00:37:58,100 --> 00:37:59,460
20 seconds.
845
00:37:59,460 --> 00:38:02,060
OK, I think I'm done.
I'll enjoy it now.
846
00:38:02,060 --> 00:38:03,700
Five seconds left. OK.
847
00:38:03,700 --> 00:38:06,180
WHISTLE BLOWS
If you could leave the lab now,
848
00:38:06,180 --> 00:38:08,940
that'd be great.
LAUGHTER
849
00:38:08,940 --> 00:38:12,340
APPLAUSE
ALEX: We left him there.
850
00:38:13,860 --> 00:38:15,740
He was so violent with
the mechanism,
851
00:38:15,740 --> 00:38:18,100
he whacked it and he put it off at
an angle, so they couldn't,
852
00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:19,940
they had nowhere to go
but fall on top of Steve.
853
00:38:19,940 --> 00:38:21,780
And he tied 28 ties. AUDIENCE: Ooh.
854
00:38:21,780 --> 00:38:23,300
Attached himself to the bed.
855
00:38:23,300 --> 00:38:25,340
Each of his fingers was tied up.
GREG WHISTLES
856
00:38:25,340 --> 00:38:28,020
Individual fingers,
mouth, head, pelvis.
857
00:38:28,020 --> 00:38:31,100
Not through the pelvic bone but...
No. No.
858
00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:33,700
I mean, do you wanna win or not?
859
00:38:33,700 --> 00:38:35,100
Um, let's talk about this,
860
00:38:35,100 --> 00:38:37,060
uh, Welsh tie business.
They weren't prayers.
861
00:38:37,060 --> 00:38:38,860
No, they were my family mottos.
862
00:38:38,860 --> 00:38:41,180
There's the green one - that's
the one that Joanne got
863
00:38:41,180 --> 00:38:42,500
and obviously that says, uh,
864
00:38:42,500 --> 00:38:44,820
"Know what you want and
have the confidence to go after it."
865
00:38:44,820 --> 00:38:46,340
That's what I wore on my stag night.
866
00:38:46,340 --> 00:38:47,580
Nice.
867
00:38:47,580 --> 00:38:50,220
Joanne and John both got
the yellow one down.
868
00:38:50,220 --> 00:38:52,660
"Don't watch the clock - do what
it does. Keep going."
869
00:38:52,660 --> 00:38:54,260
I wore that on my wedding day.
870
00:38:54,260 --> 00:38:56,180
Uh, purple, Steve got the purple
one.
871
00:38:56,180 --> 00:38:59,180
Which says, "Whoever is happy will
make others happy too."
872
00:38:59,180 --> 00:39:00,980
And then the red tie of course, uh,
873
00:39:00,980 --> 00:39:05,020
my dad's tie which says,
"This is the terrible tie."
874
00:39:05,020 --> 00:39:07,340
And that was brought down by
Mr Steve Pemberton.
875
00:39:07,340 --> 00:39:09,980
AUDIENCE: Aw.
876
00:39:09,980 --> 00:39:12,620
Of all the ties to rain down on me.
877
00:39:12,620 --> 00:39:14,060
Poor Steve is out.
878
00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,540
I liked Sophie's attempt
879
00:39:15,540 --> 00:39:18,060
and I thought the rope was
impressive, so I'm going to reward
it.
880
00:39:18,060 --> 00:39:19,740
Woo. Most tied-up person wins.
881
00:39:19,740 --> 00:39:21,260
She was the most tied-up person.
882
00:39:21,260 --> 00:39:23,620
Yes. And then we'll do it according
to the amount of ties.
883
00:39:23,620 --> 00:39:25,180
That were used. OK, well it's two
points to Nick,
884
00:39:25,180 --> 00:39:26,580
three to John, four to Joanne,
885
00:39:26,580 --> 00:39:28,340
five points to Sophie Willan!
886
00:39:33,340 --> 00:39:34,740
Can we have a look at the scores?
887
00:39:34,740 --> 00:39:36,020
Yes, Sophie's got
a chance of winning,
888
00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:38,340
she's on 15,
John is on the top with 16 points.
889
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:39,580
Wow, still ahead.
890
00:39:39,580 --> 00:39:42,180
APPLAUSE
891
00:39:42,180 --> 00:39:43,780
She's in with a shot.
892
00:39:44,980 --> 00:39:46,540
All right, well, here we are.
893
00:39:46,540 --> 00:39:47,780
Make your way to the stage,
894
00:39:47,780 --> 00:39:48,980
final task of the show!
895
00:39:48,980 --> 00:39:51,300
APPLAUSE
896
00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:57,020
What's cooking, good-looking?
897
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,780
Who's reading the task out?
898
00:39:58,780 --> 00:40:01,100
Uh, I think Steve Pemberton's
going to read this one out.
899
00:40:01,100 --> 00:40:02,140
Is he? Oh, yes.
900
00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:06,180
Park a vehicle in the parking bay.
901
00:40:06,180 --> 00:40:09,540
Your vehicle must be rolled whilst
standing on the spot,
902
00:40:09,540 --> 00:40:12,340
and the worst parker each round,
is eliminated.
903
00:40:12,340 --> 00:40:14,060
It's a parking challenge.
904
00:40:14,060 --> 00:40:16,060
We have four parking bays there.
905
00:40:16,060 --> 00:40:18,660
So in round one, you've gotta
try to park one of these vehicles
906
00:40:18,660 --> 00:40:20,300
in parking space number one.
907
00:40:20,300 --> 00:40:22,220
So you can now write down what order
908
00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:24,100
you want to park your vehicles.
909
00:40:24,100 --> 00:40:26,420
As always happens
in this show, Greg,
910
00:40:26,420 --> 00:40:28,180
the person in the lead goes first.
911
00:40:28,180 --> 00:40:31,340
On this occasion it's John.
So, John, you have selected the car.
912
00:40:31,340 --> 00:40:33,780
Yeah. You must stay on
the gold circle.
913
00:40:33,780 --> 00:40:36,220
You're aiming for parking bay
number one.
914
00:40:36,220 --> 00:40:37,620
John, park that car.
915
00:40:41,020 --> 00:40:44,460
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
APPLAUSE
916
00:40:44,460 --> 00:40:46,260
Not a bad start.
917
00:40:46,260 --> 00:40:49,340
He's popped into two.
LAUGHTER
918
00:40:49,340 --> 00:40:51,220
Right, it's Sophie next.
919
00:40:51,220 --> 00:40:54,020
Bring your little version
of yourself with you.
920
00:40:54,020 --> 00:40:56,300
That's lovely.
LAUGHTER
921
00:40:58,340 --> 00:41:01,180
No. No, it's gone too far, fuck!
922
00:41:03,180 --> 00:41:05,500
APPLAUSE
Not too bad, it's not a disaster.
923
00:41:05,500 --> 00:41:06,900
It, it is a bit, let's be honest.
924
00:41:06,900 --> 00:41:09,180
It's not great.
925
00:41:09,180 --> 00:41:11,060
Nick, you're up next. I'm third.
926
00:41:11,060 --> 00:41:12,620
And you've selected the buggy.
927
00:41:12,620 --> 00:41:15,740
Yes. You've just, you can
just slot your little legs.
928
00:41:15,740 --> 00:41:17,500
My own or...? Well, either's fine.
929
00:41:21,580 --> 00:41:23,140
AUDIENCE: Ooh.
930
00:41:23,140 --> 00:41:24,460
Very clever.
931
00:41:25,620 --> 00:41:27,940
He's definitely made it through
to round two, I can tell you that.
932
00:41:27,940 --> 00:41:30,740
Yeah, well done.
933
00:41:30,740 --> 00:41:32,340
OK, Joanne McNally,
you're up next. OK.
934
00:41:32,340 --> 00:41:33,860
You have chosen the horse. Yeah.
935
00:41:35,900 --> 00:41:38,220
Oh, ooh. Go on!
936
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:40,540
It's safe,
she is safely through. Well done.
937
00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:42,820
APPLAUSE
938
00:41:42,820 --> 00:41:44,780
Right, finally it's Steve Pemberton.
939
00:41:44,780 --> 00:41:46,460
What have you selected first
of all?
940
00:41:46,460 --> 00:41:48,740
I've selected the trolley.
941
00:41:48,740 --> 00:41:50,140
OK.
942
00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:54,420
Yeah. Ooh.
943
00:41:54,420 --> 00:41:56,820
Is it enough? Let's have a look.
944
00:41:56,820 --> 00:42:00,580
Arguably, Sophie's only chance at
winning an episode...
945
00:42:00,580 --> 00:42:02,900
..has just been dashed against
the rocks.
946
00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:04,180
Fine.
947
00:42:04,180 --> 00:42:06,020
Unfortunately, Sophie, you've been
eliminated in round one.
948
00:42:06,020 --> 00:42:07,100
Have I? And I must...
949
00:42:07,100 --> 00:42:09,460
..I must take small
Sophie away from you.
950
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:11,780
No. Yeah.
LAUGHTER
951
00:42:11,780 --> 00:42:13,380
Oh. Sit on the bench of shame.
952
00:42:15,660 --> 00:42:17,660
Sit on the what?
The bench of shame.
953
00:42:17,660 --> 00:42:19,580
Right, round two. It is sad.
John, you're up first.
954
00:42:19,580 --> 00:42:22,580
You've picked the trolley,
so if you wanna mount the trolley.
955
00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:32,660
This is aiming for number two,
of course.
956
00:42:32,660 --> 00:42:35,660
Gosh, yeah. Oh.
957
00:42:35,660 --> 00:42:38,300
It's hard to get the balance right
with that trolley.
958
00:42:38,300 --> 00:42:39,300
Yeah.
959
00:42:41,220 --> 00:42:42,580
Parking bay two.
960
00:42:42,580 --> 00:42:44,140
Nick also with the trolley.
961
00:42:46,460 --> 00:42:47,700
Oh, God. Confident.
962
00:42:47,700 --> 00:42:50,340
Bold. My, God. Oh!
963
00:42:50,340 --> 00:42:53,900
APPLAUSE
964
00:42:56,140 --> 00:42:58,620
That was electric.
965
00:42:58,620 --> 00:43:00,980
Joanne, you've selected the car.
966
00:43:00,980 --> 00:43:03,340
And do you remember what happened
the first time the car was used?
967
00:43:03,340 --> 00:43:04,900
It went too far.
968
00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:06,020
So what are you gonna do?
969
00:43:07,260 --> 00:43:08,460
I'm gonna win, Alex.
970
00:43:08,460 --> 00:43:10,740
LAUGHTER
971
00:43:10,740 --> 00:43:13,380
AUDIENCE MEMBER SCREAMS
972
00:43:15,100 --> 00:43:16,660
Ah.
973
00:43:16,660 --> 00:43:18,340
I fucked up. AUDIENCE: Aw.
974
00:43:18,340 --> 00:43:20,780
JOHN: I've gotta say, despite
being in the drop zone,
975
00:43:20,780 --> 00:43:21,940
I didn't wanna see that.
976
00:43:23,700 --> 00:43:25,380
Steve, you're up.
What have you chosen?
977
00:43:25,380 --> 00:43:26,700
I've chosen the buggy.
978
00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:30,860
You step on that board I'm
gonna come up there like a windmill.
979
00:43:35,300 --> 00:43:36,980
Oh, that's lovely.
This is looking good.
980
00:43:36,980 --> 00:43:39,300
Yeah, that is lovely.
981
00:43:39,300 --> 00:43:41,580
Woo!
APPLAUSE
982
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:45,460
And that is how you park a child.
983
00:43:47,020 --> 00:43:48,580
Joanne's out. Tragic.
984
00:43:51,060 --> 00:43:53,620
OK, it's the penultimate round.
985
00:43:53,620 --> 00:43:57,540
John Robins, again, up first.
Picked the horse.
986
00:43:57,540 --> 00:43:59,860
So, John, you're aiming for parking
bay number three, of course.
987
00:43:59,860 --> 00:44:01,060
OK.
988
00:44:03,340 --> 00:44:04,820
Oh, my God.
989
00:44:07,700 --> 00:44:09,940
It's very level, it's very level.
990
00:44:13,220 --> 00:44:15,540
OK it's, uh, Nick Mohammed,
what are you going with?
991
00:44:15,540 --> 00:44:16,780
I'm going with horse as well.
992
00:44:16,780 --> 00:44:19,100
Oh, really,
well you've seen how to do it.
993
00:44:19,100 --> 00:44:20,140
Good luck, Nick.
994
00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:24,820
Oh!
995
00:44:26,460 --> 00:44:29,220
APPLAUSE
996
00:44:34,060 --> 00:44:35,780
I think I'm out.
997
00:44:35,780 --> 00:44:38,380
Well, there's still Steve, he just
needs to not do that.
998
00:44:39,820 --> 00:44:42,180
The slightest shove will do it,
Steve. What have you picked?
999
00:44:42,180 --> 00:44:44,500
I've got horse as well.
John, any advice on the horse?
1000
00:44:44,500 --> 00:44:45,980
Just whack it right off the end.
1001
00:44:45,980 --> 00:44:46,980
Whack it.
1002
00:44:50,020 --> 00:44:51,660
Ooh. Really good.
1003
00:44:51,660 --> 00:44:54,140
Oh, good stuff. You've made it
through to round three, well done.
1004
00:44:54,140 --> 00:44:56,460
APPLAUSE
1005
00:44:56,460 --> 00:44:58,340
Greg, I'm afraid we have
to say goodbye to Nick Mohammed.
1006
00:44:59,580 --> 00:45:03,940
APPLAUSE
1007
00:45:03,940 --> 00:45:06,380
OK, so it's Pemberton versus Robins,
1008
00:45:06,380 --> 00:45:08,860
and it's been a theme of
the series so far.
1009
00:45:08,860 --> 00:45:12,100
In the final round, you both push at
the same time.
1010
00:45:12,100 --> 00:45:14,620
Oh, a twist!
1011
00:45:14,620 --> 00:45:16,900
Yes. Oh, my God.
1012
00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:18,420
This to the glue factory now?
1013
00:45:20,020 --> 00:45:21,780
Get in your vehicles, guys.
1014
00:45:21,780 --> 00:45:23,500
Clear the Knappett.
1015
00:45:23,500 --> 00:45:25,140
Oh, that's lovely to see.
1016
00:45:26,340 --> 00:45:28,980
APPLAUSE
1017
00:45:28,980 --> 00:45:30,780
So you must roll on the whistle.
1018
00:45:30,780 --> 00:45:32,060
I am genuinely excited.
1019
00:45:33,420 --> 00:45:35,740
Three, two, one.
1020
00:45:35,740 --> 00:45:37,460
WHISTLE BLOWS
Ooh.
1021
00:45:37,460 --> 00:45:38,740
Oh, my God.
1022
00:45:41,380 --> 00:45:43,660
Pemberton!
1023
00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:45,460
Pemberton takes it!
1024
00:45:53,940 --> 00:45:58,020
That is classic Pemberton.
LAUGHTER
1025
00:45:58,020 --> 00:45:59,980
Well done, we'll add that to your
final scores,
1026
00:45:59,980 --> 00:46:01,380
come down and join me, well done.
1027
00:46:01,380 --> 00:46:03,980
APPLAUSE
1028
00:46:08,340 --> 00:46:10,180
Tell you what, Pemberton can park.
1029
00:46:10,180 --> 00:46:12,020
It's not me, it's the little guy.
1030
00:46:12,020 --> 00:46:15,620
I have totted-up the scores now,
Greg,
1031
00:46:15,620 --> 00:46:17,980
and those five points for
Pemberton...
1032
00:46:17,980 --> 00:46:20,340
..have very little bearing on
the final scores because
1033
00:46:20,340 --> 00:46:22,660
the third episode in a row
has been won
1034
00:46:22,660 --> 00:46:23,620
by Mr John Robins!
1035
00:46:23,620 --> 00:46:25,500
Oh, gosh.
1036
00:46:25,500 --> 00:46:28,100
APPLAUSE
1037
00:46:28,100 --> 00:46:30,500
John Robins wins!
1038
00:46:30,500 --> 00:46:33,980
Please pick up your
extraordinary pictures!
1039
00:46:36,340 --> 00:46:40,020
So, what have we learnt from
today's show?
1040
00:46:40,020 --> 00:46:43,220
Well, we all know that life has its
ups and its downs.
1041
00:46:43,220 --> 00:46:44,900
Everybody has their struggles,
1042
00:46:44,900 --> 00:46:46,620
but whatever you've been through,
1043
00:46:46,620 --> 00:46:48,940
whatever you're going through,
do remember...
1044
00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:51,620
..things could always be worse.
1045
00:46:51,620 --> 00:46:53,900
LAUGHTER
1046
00:46:53,900 --> 00:46:57,060
That's us halfway through the series
1047
00:46:57,060 --> 00:47:00,700
and this is your champion of
the night, Mr John Robins!
1048
00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:04,020
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1049
00:47:20,660 --> 00:47:23,620
Subtitles by Red Bed Media