1
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:05,910
Well, well, well.
2
00:00:05,910 --> 00:00:07,110
Ooh!
Oh, no, no.
3
00:00:08,510 --> 00:00:10,350
Yes! Argh!
JOANNE HISSES
4
00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:13,550
Argh!
5
00:00:13,550 --> 00:00:15,150
Erm...
6
00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:16,470
Quite windy today.
Yeah.
7
00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:17,750
Christ.
8
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:19,790
Whoo! Wrong way.
9
00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:21,110
That's how you do it, baby.
10
00:00:21,110 --> 00:00:22,950
OK.
11
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:24,190
Oh, my God!
12
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,470
VARIOUS CRIES AND YELLS
13
00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:28,310
APPLAUSE
14
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:35,390
This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
15
00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:40,670
Thank you!
Hello, welcome to Taskmaster,
16
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:43,110
the show where elite comic minds
unravel
17
00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:46,230
like a ball of wool.
We're essentially in the Colosseum,
18
00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:47,950
but with a little less
stabby stabby,
19
00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:50,950
and a disappointing lack of...
HE ROARS
20
00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:53,590
Let the games commence.
21
00:00:53,590 --> 00:00:58,270
Please welcome Joanne McNally...
APPLAUSE
22
00:00:58,270 --> 00:01:00,630
..John Robins...
APPLAUSE
23
00:01:00,630 --> 00:01:02,990
..Nick Mohammed...
APPLAUSE
24
00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:04,950
..Sophie Willan...
APPLAUSE
25
00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:08,390
..and Steve Pemberton.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
26
00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:11,150
And sitting next to me,
a man who looks like
27
00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:14,750
a poodle who just about escaped
a house fire on his hind legs...
28
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,830
LAUGHTER
29
00:01:16,830 --> 00:01:21,190
..Little Alex Horne.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30
00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:23,550
Mm, thank you. Thank you, Greg.
31
00:01:25,110 --> 00:01:26,910
Well, hi, Greg.
32
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:29,830
How was my weekend?
33
00:01:29,830 --> 00:01:32,710
Well...it was one of
the great weekends.
34
00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:34,430
Yeah.
I caught up with my aunt.
35
00:01:34,430 --> 00:01:36,790
Yeah. Which was amazing,
cos she's a really fast runner,
36
00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:39,590
and I normally lag behind.
We did our relay.
37
00:01:39,590 --> 00:01:41,110
You know we do the relay
in the village,
38
00:01:41,110 --> 00:01:43,670
all the friends and family,
and we did the 4x100.
39
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,110
Yeah. So 100 people doing
four metres each and just...
40
00:01:47,470 --> 00:01:50,870
..and I was parallel
with Aunt Polly, so, erm,
41
00:01:50,870 --> 00:01:53,230
overtook her in the final metre
of the four and,
42
00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,870
uh, first time I've managed
to do that.
43
00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:57,470
And we can came eight...
44
00:01:57,470 --> 00:01:58,590
88th we came.
45
00:01:58,590 --> 00:02:00,830
LAUGHTER
46
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:04,390
Woof, woof, woof, woof.
47
00:02:07,430 --> 00:02:08,910
All right, prize task time.
48
00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:11,950
What have we got for episode six,
Alex? You asked them to bring in
49
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:14,310
the best thing that
you can get into.
50
00:02:14,310 --> 00:02:16,670
Hmm. There's the usual
five points for
51
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,990
the best thing that you can
get into,
52
00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:20,350
and I thought it worth pointing out
that there's also three points
53
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,670
for the most mid-table thing.
54
00:02:22,670 --> 00:02:24,950
Back to you, Greg.
Appreciate you, brother.
55
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:30,590
All right, John,
what's the best thing that...
56
00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:33,190
It's quite a tricky one
to phrase, this, isn't it?
57
00:02:33,190 --> 00:02:34,710
..you'd like me to get into?
58
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,470
Greg, you've got to get into memes.
59
00:02:38,470 --> 00:02:40,150
John, I have not.
60
00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:42,030
LAUGHTER
61
00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:44,470
So what I have done
to help you be more active
62
00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:50,470
in the meme scene is I've created
my very own Taskmaster memes.
63
00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:52,150
Take a look at this, Greg.
64
00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:00,150
Maybe I'm more into memes
than I thought.
65
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:03,190
Do you want to see another meme?
Second meme.
66
00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:14,470
It's a bit of fun.
Greg, you're having fun.
67
00:03:14,470 --> 00:03:17,430
Yeah. I'm an old man
sweating looking at something
68
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,790
I don't want to get into.
69
00:03:19,790 --> 00:03:20,910
Hi, Nick.
70
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:22,830
What have you brought me
that I might want to get into?
71
00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:27,350
I thought, and particularly
cos you are often very hot,
72
00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:30,030
one of the things
that you could get into
73
00:03:30,030 --> 00:03:35,950
would be the concept of adding a
ice cube to a glass of white wine.
74
00:03:41,990 --> 00:03:44,910
Wow.
Just one single cube.
75
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,270
Here it is. Lovely.
76
00:03:49,670 --> 00:03:51,670
Honestly, tr...
Don't knock it till you've tried it,
77
00:03:51,670 --> 00:03:53,190
because it really works.
78
00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:55,470
I'm not putting ice in my wine, Nick.
79
00:03:55,470 --> 00:03:56,670
Just a single cube?
80
00:03:56,670 --> 00:04:00,030
Not at all, because I'm not a pussy.
81
00:04:02,990 --> 00:04:05,350
You're just not bringing
anything new to me, Nick.
82
00:04:05,350 --> 00:04:07,230
If I want cold wine,
I'm going to put it in my fridge.
83
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,950
Obviously it goes in
the fridge at the start,
84
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:11,990
but I'm saying that when you pour it
out and it's sort of sat there...
85
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,510
So what you've brought in
86
00:04:13,510 --> 00:04:15,910
is the ability for me to have
a glass of wine, uh...
87
00:04:15,910 --> 00:04:17,190
I didn't... But I didn't.
88
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:18,750
..at a certain distance
from my fridge.
89
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:21,070
LAUGHTER
90
00:04:21,070 --> 00:04:23,430
OK, Sophie, take over,
for God's sake.
91
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,430
I can't really,
cos I realised I've forgotten
92
00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:27,030
and brought the wrong present.
93
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:28,950
Is it worth explaining
at the sixth episode
94
00:04:28,950 --> 00:04:30,910
of this series that
these aren't presents for Greg?
95
00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,590
Oh, are they not?
I do judge it, so it's... You do.
96
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:35,310
It's very wise...
I thought we had to give you a gift.
97
00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:36,870
It's wise if it appeals to me.
98
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:39,310
I thought, "He's a bit greedy,
in't he?"
99
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:40,470
LAUGHTER
100
00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:45,350
This is a human hamster ball...
Yeah?
101
00:04:45,350 --> 00:04:48,990
..that you can get into and have a
wheel. Roll around. Roll around.
102
00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:50,830
It is big.
Yeah.
103
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:52,270
Ooh!
104
00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:53,550
Freedom.
105
00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:56,950
It's the opposite of freedom.
106
00:04:56,950 --> 00:04:59,910
Simple. Why might I like it?
Why might anyone like it?
107
00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:02,190
Well, who doesn't want
to roll around?
108
00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:06,830
Oh, come on, eh?
109
00:05:06,830 --> 00:05:08,550
Would you like to go down a hill
in one of those?
110
00:05:08,550 --> 00:05:10,270
I would absolutely love
to get in that.
111
00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:13,230
OK, we'll push you down a hill.
112
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,910
Joanne, you all right?
113
00:05:14,910 --> 00:05:17,750
Yes, so I, as you know have been,
er,
114
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:20,110
been quite experiential
with the presents.
115
00:05:20,110 --> 00:05:22,590
And it hasn't worked in my...
They're not presents!
116
00:05:26,110 --> 00:05:29,390
So this time,
I've gone for a sleeping sarcophagi.
117
00:05:29,390 --> 00:05:31,110
So that's me in the thing.
118
00:05:31,110 --> 00:05:32,750
LAUGHTER
119
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:35,710
You can be Tutankhamun at night,
and you can close your eyes
120
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,070
and you're in
the Valley of the Kings.
121
00:05:38,070 --> 00:05:40,390
Yeah. It's all gold.
Yeah, I can see it. Yeah.
122
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:42,830
LAUGHTER
123
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:44,830
Steve, only you can save this round.
124
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:47,910
I hope I can do something
that you will enjoy as your present.
125
00:05:47,910 --> 00:05:49,550
I have brought you...
126
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,550
LAUGHTER
127
00:05:56,470 --> 00:05:58,390
As the prize, uh,
128
00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:00,710
I have brought you in
today's Guardian newspaper.
129
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:01,790
Oh.
130
00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:05,110
I thought, like, a hobby, you could
get into doing cryptic crosswords.
131
00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:07,470
This better get good soon, mate.
OK.
132
00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:09,630
Can I say, by the way,
133
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:12,390
there was a Guardian
in my dressing room today?
134
00:06:12,390 --> 00:06:13,550
Yeah, and mine. And mine.
135
00:06:13,550 --> 00:06:15,270
And there was also one in mine.
Right.
136
00:06:15,270 --> 00:06:17,630
Well, did anyone do
the cryptic crossword?
137
00:06:17,630 --> 00:06:18,670
No.
All right.
138
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,150
I won't open that lefty stuff.
139
00:06:22,270 --> 00:06:25,910
OK, well, what I hope someone
might have been impressed by
140
00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:28,270
is the fact that I wrote
today's cryptic crossword.
141
00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:30,630
Ah, now we're talking.
We can have a look at it.
142
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:32,230
Oh, well done.
Nice.
143
00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:34,070
APPLAUSE
144
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,390
I've filled in some of
the answers for you.
145
00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:39,750
The other thing you can do
with cryptic crosswords,
146
00:06:39,750 --> 00:06:41,550
you can hide hidden messages
within them
147
00:06:41,550 --> 00:06:43,430
if you get the right combination
of words.
148
00:06:43,430 --> 00:06:46,710
As you can see, if you look at
the G of ghettoes on the left there
149
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:48,430
and read down the unchecked letters,
150
00:06:48,430 --> 00:06:49,910
you'll see
I've put you in the crossword.
151
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,950
"Greg," nice!
Oh!
152
00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:54,430
And if you also read the rest of
the hidden message...
153
00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:57,590
"Greg, please give Steve...
154
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:02,070
"..all five points."
155
00:07:02,070 --> 00:07:03,990
APPLAUSE
156
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:10,030
Steve, the only problem for me now is
how to reward you suitably
157
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,750
and to punish these four.
158
00:07:13,230 --> 00:07:16,110
I am points-hungry tonight, Greg.
My God.
159
00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:19,830
If you want to shift
the four across, the three across,
160
00:07:19,830 --> 00:07:23,510
the two across, I'll take 'em all,
cos that took ages.
161
00:07:28,670 --> 00:07:30,390
Shall I give some points out?
Yes, please.
162
00:07:30,390 --> 00:07:31,710
Um, obviously...
163
00:07:35,230 --> 00:07:38,110
I find it very difficult
to be mean to you, Nick. Aw.
164
00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:41,030
One point.
Thank you.
165
00:07:41,030 --> 00:07:42,310
I'm sorry, John, I just...
166
00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:45,350
I'm not excited by memes,
and I have a reputation.
167
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:48,710
I'm an ex-teacher who despises
children, so two points to John.
168
00:07:48,710 --> 00:07:51,670
OK. The inflatable ball,
three points,
169
00:07:51,670 --> 00:07:55,470
just because I want to push
Sophie Willan down a hill.
170
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:58,150
Uh, I'll give the sarcophagus
four points. Thank you.
171
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:00,510
And it feels like you've been
robbed in many ways
172
00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:02,910
that you don't get more than
five points, but that's,
173
00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:05,830
that's the prize section,
or as I call it...
174
00:08:05,830 --> 00:08:08,110
..Greg's Gift Section.
175
00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:12,430
Five points to Steve.
176
00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:14,390
APPLAUSE
177
00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:15,910
Right, on we go.
178
00:08:15,910 --> 00:08:19,270
OK, and the first task involves
a choose Mr Mohammed basket.
179
00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:23,030
I'm so sorry, no,
I mean a picnic hamper.
180
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:25,790
GREG GROANS, DELAYED LAUGHTER
181
00:08:41,350 --> 00:08:42,550
Pleasure to see you.
182
00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:44,870
John Robins.
Alex Horne.
183
00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:47,870
Basket. Wheel. Chair.
184
00:08:47,870 --> 00:08:51,270
A lovely label here, it says,
"To John, from Nick."
185
00:08:52,590 --> 00:08:54,910
"To Nick from Sophie."
186
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:57,230
We're not going on a picnic,
are we?
187
00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:58,630
Couldn't think of anything worse.
188
00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:04,670
"Make a bespoke personal hamper
for Steve Pemberton."
189
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:08,270
"Make a bespoke personal hamper
for Sophie Willan."
190
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,350
"..for Nick Mohammed."
191
00:09:09,350 --> 00:09:10,510
"..for John Robins."
192
00:09:10,510 --> 00:09:11,990
"..for Joanne McNally.
193
00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:16,390
"You have ten minutes.
Your time starts now."
194
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:19,390
Sophie, you do have to also
spin this wheel. One big spin.
195
00:09:24,910 --> 00:09:27,230
Something from nature...
Mm-hm.
196
00:09:27,230 --> 00:09:29,470
..for Nick to suit his personality.
197
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:33,070
Oh! Action.
198
00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,510
My theme is picnic.
Lovely.
199
00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:38,430
Oh, yeah, perfect.
It's got to all be red.
200
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:42,270
I've got to get a hamper full of
red items, I would imagine. Yes.
201
00:09:42,270 --> 00:09:44,270
He's older, isn't he?
Older than...?
202
00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:46,150
Anyone else.
203
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,470
So I just want to remind him
of that. Ah.
204
00:09:48,470 --> 00:09:50,270
Cos soon he will be dead.
205
00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:56,270
I got some hot sauce,
cos she's quite a spicy character.
206
00:09:56,270 --> 00:09:59,710
Sunflower to match his
sunny disposition. Lovely.
207
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:02,310
Right, there is a new bag
in this, so... Lucky John.
208
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,630
Lucky John, eh?
209
00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:05,230
HE GROANS
210
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,670
There you go.
211
00:10:06,670 --> 00:10:07,910
Dog walking lead.
212
00:10:09,790 --> 00:10:12,590
All the red marbles
out of the big marble thing.
213
00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:14,870
Oh, can I spin again?
I want to mix it up a bit.
214
00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:18,950
Picnic! Well, we've got the hamper,
haven't we? So that's good.
215
00:10:18,950 --> 00:10:20,950
And this for him in the bath,
cos when you're old,
216
00:10:20,950 --> 00:10:22,430
you have to be careful in the bath.
217
00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:23,950
Pudding.
Bungee cord.
218
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:27,110
Flowers.
Obviously paper plates. Obviously.
219
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:29,510
A train.
Pineapple for afters.
220
00:10:29,510 --> 00:10:31,030
Juice.
221
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,750
Plain flour?
Plain flour, yes.
222
00:10:32,750 --> 00:10:35,030
What's he going to do with that?
Baking. Baking.
223
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:39,630
I'm just going to attach
the G clamp.
224
00:10:39,630 --> 00:10:41,910
Little bit of red carpet.
225
00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:43,550
I think this'll do, because this,
226
00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:46,550
it's both a picnic blanket
and a blanket. Right.
227
00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:48,590
This cos I know he likes weird shit,
228
00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:51,270
and these to keep his sugar
levels up.
229
00:10:51,270 --> 00:10:54,070
And I'm going to play
a little joke on her,
230
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,110
so when she opens it,
she gets a nice surprise
231
00:10:56,110 --> 00:10:57,950
and she'll think of me
and she'll thank me.
232
00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:03,230
Love it. Can't believe you got it
all in. I know!
233
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,510
WHISTLE BLOWS
Perfect.
234
00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:09,990
Well, I suppose I should
give you the right
235
00:11:09,990 --> 00:11:13,350
to reply about having
a hamper filled with things
236
00:11:13,350 --> 00:11:15,270
that suggest you're teetering
on the edge of death.
237
00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:17,630
Yeah. And into weird shit.
Sorry, Steve.
238
00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:20,110
You're suggesting that
Steve needs an assisted bath.
239
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:25,030
I mean, he's a man in his 50s.
240
00:11:25,030 --> 00:11:27,390
I don't know why I thought you were
older than you are.
241
00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:28,950
I don't know why.
Oh, God.
242
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:31,590
AUDIENCE MEMBER EXCLAIMS
Sorry!
243
00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:34,070
For what it's worth,
I was very happy with what you put.
244
00:11:34,070 --> 00:11:36,550
Including litter pickers cos
old people like picking up litter.
245
00:11:36,550 --> 00:11:39,270
LAUGHTER
246
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,630
Well, look I'm excited,
let's crack on.
247
00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:43,190
OK, so we're going to come back
to that one later on,
248
00:11:43,190 --> 00:11:45,990
so for now, here is another
introduction video.
249
00:11:58,950 --> 00:12:00,390
There he is.
250
00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:03,470
Hi, Steve.
Hi.
251
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:06,390
Hello.
Hello.
252
00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:10,110
One, two, three, four...
253
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,750
..five, six, seven, eight?
254
00:12:11,750 --> 00:12:13,510
Lovely. Right. Oh, God. Yeah.
255
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:16,790
One, two, three, four...
256
00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:19,830
Paper.
OK.
257
00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:22,550
Sorry, that's a rock, actually.
258
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:24,230
..five, six, seven, eight.
259
00:12:24,230 --> 00:12:26,510
One, two, three, four...
260
00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:27,990
..once I saw a fish alive.
261
00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:34,230
One, two, three, four...
262
00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:36,950
..I declare a thumb war.
Ah.
263
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:44,390
Oh, God. Oh, why? That's...
Ah! That makes sense.
264
00:12:44,390 --> 00:12:47,590
"Have the most exciting thumb war
with Alex."
265
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,390
You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now.
266
00:12:52,390 --> 00:12:53,470
Mm.
267
00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:54,710
Tequila?
268
00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:57,390
One, two, three, four.
I declare a thumb war.
269
00:12:57,390 --> 00:12:59,070
Five, six, seven, eight.
270
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,830
Who do you appreciate?
271
00:13:01,830 --> 00:13:03,110
Can we get some tequila?
272
00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:07,910
Do you want me to get the tequila?
Yeah. Ah.
273
00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:09,910
And shots. Come on, a bit of craic.
274
00:13:09,910 --> 00:13:11,470
You haven't had a drop
since I met you.
275
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:19,270
How many of you knew
what a thumb war was?
276
00:13:19,270 --> 00:13:23,150
Did you? Cos I... I thought,
from the VT, it looked like John was
277
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,790
the only one who'd heard of
a thumb war.
278
00:13:25,790 --> 00:13:28,790
I just forgot the intro.
Yes, well, your mind was full
279
00:13:28,790 --> 00:13:30,390
of how quickly
you can get hammered.
280
00:13:33,310 --> 00:13:34,510
Yeah.
281
00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:39,950
Straight to a national stereotype.
"Let's get hammered."
282
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:41,550
There's no smoke without fire.
What can I say?
283
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:44,110
Yeah. Did you come out dressed as
a leprechaun as well?
284
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:45,270
Too far.
Oh, too...
285
00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:50,310
Let's watch some people
doing a thumb war,
286
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:53,510
and presumably
Joanne getting hammered.
287
00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:56,270
Well, first up it's Thumb-phie
Willan and Knuckle Mohammed.
288
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,510
Here we go.
289
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:24,790
I've lost you a bit. Oh, you've lost
me a bit? Hang on. I'm here.
290
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:28,990
STEADY BEAT PLAYS
291
00:14:42,190 --> 00:14:48,590
One, two, three, four,
I declare a thumb war.
292
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:55,190
Oh, that was too easy, actually...
293
00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:57,510
No, get off. It's stuck.
294
00:14:57,510 --> 00:14:58,590
Yeah.
I'm done.
295
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:02,510
NICK PLAYS NOTES
296
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:17,150
Declare a thumb war.
297
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,510
Oh, didn't go far, did it?
298
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,350
Cheers, Alex.
Well played.
299
00:15:26,350 --> 00:15:29,470
APPLAUSE
300
00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,990
I really liked it, Nick.
Oh, really? Uh, and...
301
00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:34,350
You know, I've made it very clear
during this series I don't like
302
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,630
a pun, but I didn't mind
Thumbley Stadium. Yeah.
303
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:40,670
Nick is really good at thumb wars.
Yeah.
304
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:41,990
And by stark contrast...
305
00:15:43,430 --> 00:15:45,430
I thought we were creating high-end
art here.
306
00:15:45,430 --> 00:15:48,910
Right, with the guy with
the pigeon on his head?
307
00:15:48,910 --> 00:15:51,510
I was disappointed with the thumb
war cos you're very quick.
308
00:15:51,510 --> 00:15:56,430
I mean the thumb war itself was,
uh, shit. But...
309
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:59,670
I've got tiny hands, though,
I mean, I've got the hands of
310
00:15:59,670 --> 00:16:02,670
sort of somewhere between an old man
and a baby. Yeah.
311
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,470
They're very small and weird.
312
00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:06,270
Well done with Thumbley Stadium,
Nick.
313
00:16:06,270 --> 00:16:07,990
LAUGHTER
314
00:16:07,990 --> 00:16:10,350
Thanks, Greg. Well done. Thank you.
It's good, says a lot that
315
00:16:10,350 --> 00:16:13,550
so far, Thumbley Stadium is my
favourite part of this task.
316
00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:15,150
Time for an advert break now,
317
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:17,110
and if you don't want to watch them,
try my method.
318
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,110
I force someone from
the company who make the product
319
00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:20,430
to watch them for me.
320
00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:22,790
Well, they've got us scanning
our own shopping, haven't they?
321
00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:27,150
See how you like it, you
profit-motivated barrel of rats.
322
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:28,030
See you in a minute.
323
00:16:36,632 --> 00:16:39,192
APPLAUSE
324
00:16:39,192 --> 00:16:43,072
Hello! Welcome back
to part two of Taskmaster.
325
00:16:43,072 --> 00:16:46,192
We're in the midst
of some pretty exciting thumb wars.
326
00:16:46,192 --> 00:16:47,792
Oh, yeah, well,
the funny thing is,
327
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:49,432
this task, it just
came to me one day,
328
00:16:49,432 --> 00:16:50,632
and I wasn't really sure about it,
329
00:16:50,632 --> 00:16:53,232
but now I feel so fortunate
that it turned out this way
330
00:16:53,232 --> 00:16:57,072
and gave the comedians a chance
to really shine, and that, Greg...
331
00:16:57,072 --> 00:16:58,392
..was a thumble brag,
332
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:01,672
Now for the attempts...
AUDIENCE GROANS
333
00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,352
..of John and Joanne.
334
00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,272
Hello. Hello, Alex. Hello, John.
335
00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:27,032
Basically, there's three condiments.
336
00:17:27,032 --> 00:17:30,512
There's mustard, custard,
and peri peri sauce. Mm-hm.
337
00:17:30,512 --> 00:17:33,672
You've got a spit bucket here.
A shot of rum here.
338
00:17:33,672 --> 00:17:38,352
The game is - you keep one thumb
clean for the whole game,
339
00:17:38,352 --> 00:17:42,112
and if you sully that thumb,
you're out. Ah.
340
00:17:42,112 --> 00:17:45,752
So you dip all nine other fingers
into the condiment,
341
00:17:45,752 --> 00:17:47,072
suck it off.
342
00:17:47,072 --> 00:17:49,872
All nine into the next condiment...
BOTH: ..suck it off.
343
00:17:49,872 --> 00:17:54,272
Then the last clean thumb -
you dip it in the mustard, custard,
344
00:17:54,272 --> 00:17:56,552
and stick it to
the other person's head. OK.
345
00:17:57,392 --> 00:17:59,472
"Win the thumb war.
346
00:17:59,472 --> 00:18:02,752
"You may not cross the lines
of fire.
347
00:18:02,752 --> 00:18:04,832
"Last thumb standing wins.
348
00:18:04,832 --> 00:18:07,152
"From this moment onwards,
you may only communicate using
349
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:08,432
"Queen song titles."
350
00:18:09,512 --> 00:18:11,152
Don't Stop Me Now.
351
00:18:22,992 --> 00:18:25,672
Fee-fi-fo-thumb... Go!
352
00:18:28,152 --> 00:18:29,792
OK. Hmm...
353
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,112
Oh, qui... Oh, no.
354
00:18:31,112 --> 00:18:32,392
Sick. Oh, really?
355
00:18:33,832 --> 00:18:36,432
Action This Day.
WHISTLE BLOWS
356
00:18:41,432 --> 00:18:44,712
Ooh!
Fat Bottomed Girl.
357
00:18:44,712 --> 00:18:46,312
The Miracle.
358
00:18:48,192 --> 00:18:50,112
Urgh!
359
00:18:53,672 --> 00:18:58,552
What the fuck is that? I forgot to
keep that clean! Me too. Ah!
360
00:19:00,512 --> 00:19:02,432
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
361
00:19:04,512 --> 00:19:05,752
That's how you do it, baby.
362
00:19:10,952 --> 00:19:13,632
Argh!
363
00:19:13,632 --> 00:19:15,192
We Are The Champions!
364
00:19:15,192 --> 00:19:17,832
APPLAUSE
365
00:19:20,112 --> 00:19:22,032
What percentage
of every day are you thinking about
366
00:19:22,032 --> 00:19:23,872
the band Queen, John?
367
00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:26,752
When you're wearing
a Freddie Mercury jacket,
368
00:19:26,752 --> 00:19:29,632
uh, it's on your mind.
It's on your mind.
369
00:19:29,632 --> 00:19:31,592
I didn't know that many
Queen songs. No.
370
00:19:31,592 --> 00:19:32,752
I looked up some afterwards.
371
00:19:32,752 --> 00:19:34,752
We could've had Flick Of
The Wrist from...
372
00:19:34,752 --> 00:19:36,032
A Night At The Opera.
373
00:19:36,032 --> 00:19:38,032
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Uh, uh, no, no, no.
374
00:19:38,032 --> 00:19:39,912
Uh-oh! Sheer Heart Attack.
It is Sheer Heart Attack.
375
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:42,192
Someone's been kicked out of
the Queen fan club!
376
00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,712
I'm actually in the Queen fan club.
377
00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:54,192
Joanne, the thing that I found
intriguing about your game is
378
00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:56,752
I felt it was a game
you've played many times before.
379
00:19:58,992 --> 00:20:00,992
And Joanne had a catchphrase
380
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:03,312
that was sandwiched between
every rule.
381
00:20:03,312 --> 00:20:04,352
Suck it off.
382
00:20:10,472 --> 00:20:12,832
It was called
Custard And Mustard, Oh, My.
383
00:20:12,832 --> 00:20:14,832
What were the rules?
I mean, I got into it... Yeah.
384
00:20:14,832 --> 00:20:17,752
..but I didn't know why.
I just wanted shots,
385
00:20:17,752 --> 00:20:20,032
speed, custard, and then it was
like, uh...
386
00:20:22,312 --> 00:20:24,552
That would be such a great T-shirt.
387
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:29,512
It would be an amazing logo
on a T-shirt,
388
00:20:29,512 --> 00:20:30,432
perhaps with one addition.
389
00:20:30,432 --> 00:20:32,752
GREG AND JOANNE: Shots, speed...
Custard.
390
00:20:32,752 --> 00:20:34,192
JOANNE ON RECORDING: Suck it off.
391
00:20:37,072 --> 00:20:38,832
And for our final war
of the opposables,
392
00:20:38,832 --> 00:20:40,112
it's Steve Pemberthumb.
393
00:20:40,112 --> 00:20:41,432
Oh, that's good!
394
00:21:08,152 --> 00:21:09,912
Charge!
395
00:21:09,912 --> 00:21:13,912
We have come to claim our
territory. This is righty territory.
396
00:21:13,912 --> 00:21:15,152
No, it's not!
397
00:21:15,152 --> 00:21:17,152
It most certainly is.
398
00:21:17,152 --> 00:21:20,912
One, two, three, four...
399
00:21:22,392 --> 00:21:24,792
SOFTLY: ..I declare a thumb war.
400
00:21:24,792 --> 00:21:26,512
CHARGE!
401
00:21:35,512 --> 00:21:36,912
Argh!
402
00:21:38,832 --> 00:21:41,432
NO!
403
00:21:44,912 --> 00:21:49,312
What are we doing, leftie?
Why are we fighting this war?
404
00:21:49,312 --> 00:21:51,632
You said it was your territory.
405
00:21:51,632 --> 00:21:56,032
We both belong together.
Here, come, let me help you.
406
00:21:56,032 --> 00:21:59,712
Can you come up? Thumbs up.
Thumbs up!
407
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:03,992
I've lost a lot of good men
in this war, you know.
408
00:22:03,992 --> 00:22:07,912
Pinky, Ring, Middle, Index,
all gone.
409
00:22:09,712 --> 00:22:11,192
What say we go and watch
the footy, eh?
410
00:22:11,192 --> 00:22:14,992
I love the footy. Let's go.
Let's go, then. Come on.
411
00:22:17,672 --> 00:22:20,272
APPLAUSE
412
00:22:24,312 --> 00:22:27,632
We wanted to go for
an anti-war message... Yes.
413
00:22:27,632 --> 00:22:30,392
..and I think that came across
really powerfully.
414
00:22:30,392 --> 00:22:33,952
Too many people have perished
in thumb wars, Steve.
415
00:22:33,952 --> 00:22:36,232
I thought it was, uh,
well-conceived...
416
00:22:38,712 --> 00:22:42,432
..moving... Yeah, very moving.
..and, at times, exciting.
417
00:22:46,512 --> 00:22:48,872
Right, then,
five contrasting thumb wars, Greg.
418
00:22:48,872 --> 00:22:51,672
We've got to take into
consideration the quality of
419
00:22:51,672 --> 00:22:53,432
the thumb war.
420
00:22:53,432 --> 00:22:55,752
Why am I looking at you, Sophie?
It's weird, innit?
421
00:22:55,752 --> 00:22:56,952
I think it's cos you...
422
00:22:56,952 --> 00:22:59,312
..you're going to...
give me the bottom.
423
00:23:04,032 --> 00:23:06,032
My instinct is
to give you one point.
424
00:23:06,032 --> 00:23:08,352
What do you think?
I think it's reasonable. Yeah.
425
00:23:08,352 --> 00:23:10,672
LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE
426
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,072
I loved the production values,
427
00:23:15,072 --> 00:23:17,592
and felt the same sort
of excitement level
428
00:23:17,592 --> 00:23:19,272
for Nick and John, if I'm honest,
429
00:23:19,272 --> 00:23:21,792
so I'm going to give Nick
and John three points each.
430
00:23:21,792 --> 00:23:24,632
I'm going to give Joanne four,
but, my God,
431
00:23:24,632 --> 00:23:29,072
how can I deny...
LAUGHING: ..the beautiful tribute
432
00:23:29,072 --> 00:23:31,112
that was the Battle Of The Thumb?
Five points.
433
00:23:31,112 --> 00:23:34,272
There you go. So Steve's done it
again. Well done, Steve. Five points.
434
00:23:34,272 --> 00:23:36,112
I'd like to see
the scores, please, Alex.
435
00:23:36,112 --> 00:23:39,992
Of course you would.
Well, our habitual bottom guys -
436
00:23:39,992 --> 00:23:42,352
Nick and Sophie - are still there
with four points each.
437
00:23:42,352 --> 00:23:44,832
Joanne's got eight. Steve's
in the lead with ten this time.
438
00:23:44,832 --> 00:23:46,152
All right, then.
439
00:23:46,152 --> 00:23:49,592
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
440
00:23:49,592 --> 00:23:51,912
Right, let's have another.
441
00:23:51,912 --> 00:23:54,592
This one has that familiar mix
of darts and drinks
442
00:23:54,592 --> 00:23:56,032
and awkward positions.
443
00:24:10,552 --> 00:24:13,712
Hello, team. Hello, Alex.
Hiya.
444
00:24:13,712 --> 00:24:16,352
One on the doormat,
one in the doorway, please.
445
00:24:16,352 --> 00:24:18,272
One on the doormat,
one in the doorway?
446
00:24:18,272 --> 00:24:19,392
OK, I'll go doorway.
447
00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:20,592
I'll go doormat.
448
00:24:20,592 --> 00:24:23,112
Uh-oh. Hi.
449
00:24:23,112 --> 00:24:24,592
Shall I go mat,
do you want to go in the dome?
450
00:24:24,592 --> 00:24:26,112
You go in the dome there.
451
00:24:26,112 --> 00:24:28,472
I was on the college darts team,
I'll just tell you that.
452
00:24:28,472 --> 00:24:29,352
Were you?
Yeah.
453
00:24:29,352 --> 00:24:32,232
OK, go on, you go in there.
You go there. Oh, I see. Right.
454
00:24:32,232 --> 00:24:34,832
You've made your beds. Yeah.
Oh, all right, here we go. Oh, no.
455
00:24:34,832 --> 00:24:37,192
Do you want to read it?
Whose is that? That's not...
456
00:24:37,192 --> 00:24:38,872
That's part of the task.
457
00:24:38,872 --> 00:24:42,552
Right. Part of the task. I thought
someone had just left it. Right.
458
00:24:42,552 --> 00:24:46,312
OK, so it says, "Make the most moves
on the movement circles.
459
00:24:46,312 --> 00:24:48,312
"Your team-mate must flip a bottle
460
00:24:48,312 --> 00:24:51,032
"then throw a dart at each dartboard
to create a move."
461
00:24:55,072 --> 00:24:59,632
"If they get a bull's-eye,
you have free choice.
462
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:02,672
"Also, if they successfully land
the bottle flip,
463
00:25:02,672 --> 00:25:07,432
"your team-mate may place a dart
anywhere in the dartboard."
464
00:25:07,432 --> 00:25:09,792
"Also, if they successfully land
the bottle flip,
465
00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:13,272
"your team-mate may place
a dart anywhere in the dartboard."
466
00:25:13,272 --> 00:25:15,672
And is it a bull's-eye on either of
the dartboards?
467
00:25:15,672 --> 00:25:18,032
Yeah, so a bull's-eye on that one
would give free choice of part of
468
00:25:18,032 --> 00:25:19,912
the body. Yeah. Bull's-eye on that
one, free choice of colour.
469
00:25:19,912 --> 00:25:21,592
OK, that makes sense.
470
00:25:21,592 --> 00:25:26,232
"Longest movement sequence
successfully made wins."
471
00:25:26,232 --> 00:25:28,112
So Sophie's on bottle flip.
472
00:25:28,112 --> 00:25:31,432
Right. John's on darts.
Joanne's on movement.
473
00:25:31,432 --> 00:25:33,792
Do I need to know anything,
Steve, in terms of like,
474
00:25:33,792 --> 00:25:36,872
uh, like, dodgy knees or anything
that you, uh...?
475
00:25:36,872 --> 00:25:38,712
Just dodgy body. Dodgy bum, dodgy...
Yeah.
476
00:25:40,312 --> 00:25:43,672
OK, everyone understand? No.
Yeah. Let's go. Yeah.
477
00:25:43,672 --> 00:25:47,032
Oh, hang on, the darts captain
has taken his jacket off.
478
00:25:47,032 --> 00:25:48,672
Can I...? Are we filming?
479
00:25:48,672 --> 00:25:50,272
We're filming.
480
00:25:50,272 --> 00:25:51,512
Sex sells, John.
481
00:25:54,072 --> 00:25:56,072
APPLAUSE
482
00:25:59,312 --> 00:26:01,912
On the college darts team, were we?
483
00:26:01,912 --> 00:26:03,312
I was captain of the...
484
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,752
Jesus Christ, the heat is on.
485
00:26:05,752 --> 00:26:09,072
Especially a man who's stripped down
to a vest.
486
00:26:09,072 --> 00:26:10,872
LAUGHTER
487
00:26:10,872 --> 00:26:13,912
Steve, are you getting sick of
the age-related slams yet?
488
00:26:13,912 --> 00:26:16,192
Your team-mate asking if you had
any ailments.
489
00:26:17,952 --> 00:26:19,352
I think Nick was looking out
for me.
490
00:26:19,352 --> 00:26:21,112
It was just common courtesy,
that was, really.
491
00:26:21,112 --> 00:26:22,392
Oh, OK, you'd have asked anyone
that.
492
00:26:22,392 --> 00:26:24,192
I would've asked absolutely
anyone that.
493
00:26:24,192 --> 00:26:26,592
Yeah. Not just Grandpa.
494
00:26:26,592 --> 00:26:28,112
Let's crack on.
495
00:26:28,112 --> 00:26:31,752
Right, it's the team of two up
first, as Nick steps up to the oche
496
00:26:31,752 --> 00:26:34,032
to influence Steve's dodgy body.
Here we go.
497
00:26:35,752 --> 00:26:39,712
Here we go, and... Right.
Pathetic. Unsuccessful.
498
00:26:39,712 --> 00:26:41,472
So, uh, I'll try and throw
a bull's-eye.
499
00:26:41,472 --> 00:26:43,792
OK, no, it's bum, so that's good.
Right, bum, good start.
500
00:26:43,792 --> 00:26:46,312
Um, uh... Ooh, right on the line.
501
00:26:46,312 --> 00:26:47,672
Brown bum or pink bum?
502
00:26:47,672 --> 00:26:49,952
No, that is bum in the pink.
Bum in the pink.
503
00:26:51,232 --> 00:26:53,512
There you go.
So that's one move completed.
504
00:26:54,992 --> 00:26:57,392
I think I'm doing it too high
in the air.
505
00:26:57,392 --> 00:26:58,952
Right, left foot...
506
00:27:00,352 --> 00:27:01,832
..yellow.
Left foot, yellow.
507
00:27:01,832 --> 00:27:04,232
Basically on it.
Great. Fine. Here we go.
508
00:27:04,232 --> 00:27:06,752
Two moves completed.
Oh, every time.
509
00:27:06,752 --> 00:27:08,312
Ooh, we have a left hand.
510
00:27:08,312 --> 00:27:10,992
Left hand.
Left hand. White'd be good.
511
00:27:12,352 --> 00:27:15,192
There you go. It is white.
Left hand, white. Ah!
512
00:27:15,192 --> 00:27:17,152
Three movements.
OK. Right elbow.
513
00:27:17,152 --> 00:27:18,672
Right elbow's in play. OK.
514
00:27:20,152 --> 00:27:21,832
Oh, it's white.
White.
515
00:27:21,832 --> 00:27:23,392
There is a white back there.
516
00:27:23,392 --> 00:27:25,672
Yeah, there you go!
Five movements complete.
517
00:27:30,792 --> 00:27:32,472
Right elbow in the end.
Oh, right elbow.
518
00:27:32,472 --> 00:27:34,912
Right.
So that's already in play.
519
00:27:34,912 --> 00:27:37,792
Oh, I see. What would you prefer?
To keep it where it is?
520
00:27:37,792 --> 00:27:41,072
Oh, yeah. Quite comfortable here.
521
00:27:41,072 --> 00:27:42,552
It's black and that's
in the middle.
522
00:27:42,552 --> 00:27:45,552
STEVE SNIGGERS
Right.
523
00:27:45,552 --> 00:27:47,032
That hand must stay on there.
524
00:27:47,032 --> 00:27:48,192
Yeah, I know!
525
00:27:49,512 --> 00:27:52,072
How can I get that to there?
I think we'll count any...
526
00:27:52,072 --> 00:27:54,352
If any of your bum is on pink,
that'll be fine.
527
00:27:56,472 --> 00:27:58,752
Is that...? Yeah, that counts.
Here we go again.
528
00:28:00,072 --> 00:28:02,952
That is dreadful. Oh, my God, Steve.
529
00:28:02,952 --> 00:28:04,312
Right, it's over.
530
00:28:06,312 --> 00:28:08,192
APPLAUSE
531
00:28:10,992 --> 00:28:13,912
Nick, it feels rude of me
to say that I just had
532
00:28:13,912 --> 00:28:16,472
a gut instinct you'd be no good
at darts. Oh!
533
00:28:19,312 --> 00:28:21,872
I still think, though,
we had got it the right way round.
534
00:28:21,872 --> 00:28:23,272
I think in hindsight,
if we'd have done it the...
535
00:28:23,272 --> 00:28:24,672
You think the RIGHT way round?
Yeah.
536
00:28:26,552 --> 00:28:29,272
Of course. How were you going to get
from brown to pink to yellow?
537
00:28:29,272 --> 00:28:31,632
You'd have to sort of...
In my cape.
538
00:28:31,632 --> 00:28:32,832
Oh, of course.
Oh, yeah.
539
00:28:32,832 --> 00:28:34,872
Oh, you'd have bounced around nicely,
wouldn't you? Yeah, I would've.
540
00:28:34,872 --> 00:28:37,152
But it was nice for Steve to be able
to have a nap, so... Yeah.
541
00:28:38,672 --> 00:28:41,992
Cos I'm quite flexible,
and because I'm quite small as well
542
00:28:41,992 --> 00:28:44,352
I don't know if that's...
Maybe that's not helpful.
543
00:28:44,352 --> 00:28:45,992
I don't think that's an advantage.
No, it's not an advantage. Ever.
544
00:28:45,992 --> 00:28:47,152
You're not small!
545
00:28:49,032 --> 00:28:50,592
Sorry.
I didn't even hear what you said.
546
00:28:50,592 --> 00:28:52,632
Oh, good! It's a compliment.
547
00:28:52,632 --> 00:28:53,872
OK, break time.
548
00:28:53,872 --> 00:28:55,832
A lot of students get in touch
with me and they say,
549
00:28:55,832 --> 00:28:58,192
"What do you and Alex get up to
during the breaks?"
550
00:28:58,192 --> 00:29:00,152
Well, I'll tell you,
my young friends.
551
00:29:00,152 --> 00:29:02,872
He buffs my gusset.
552
00:29:04,992 --> 00:29:07,272
See you soon.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
553
00:29:14,152 --> 00:29:16,432
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
554
00:29:16,432 --> 00:29:18,072
Hello! And a warm welcome back
555
00:29:18,072 --> 00:29:21,432
to the third part
of this Taskmaster festival.
556
00:29:21,432 --> 00:29:24,752
Hey, guys, it's great to see
so many familiar faces out there.
557
00:29:24,752 --> 00:29:26,432
Before the break, we saw
the teams taking part
558
00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:28,752
in a task which feels like
a game that already exists,
559
00:29:28,752 --> 00:29:30,432
but it definitely doesn't.
560
00:29:30,432 --> 00:29:32,792
It's the team of three's turn now,
with Joanne in the dome,
561
00:29:32,792 --> 00:29:35,152
John at the oche,
and BAFTA award-winning comedian
562
00:29:35,152 --> 00:29:37,152
and writer Sophie Willan
standing at the side
563
00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:39,872
tossing a bottle about a bit.
Here we go.
564
00:29:39,872 --> 00:29:42,552
I'm actually quite nimble.
This is good. OK, yeah.
565
00:29:42,552 --> 00:29:44,392
And how are you at
bottle flipping, Sophie?
566
00:29:44,392 --> 00:29:46,712
Well, we'll find out.
OK, well, you may flip.
567
00:29:46,712 --> 00:29:47,832
Right.
568
00:29:49,512 --> 00:29:51,152
Off you go, John.
Ready? Yeah.
569
00:29:52,312 --> 00:29:53,712
Oh, nice.
Left hand.
570
00:29:55,112 --> 00:29:56,872
Brown.
571
00:29:56,872 --> 00:29:58,832
Smashed it.
572
00:29:58,832 --> 00:30:00,152
Well...
573
00:30:00,152 --> 00:30:02,792
Yeah, that's not a successful
bottle flip.
574
00:30:02,792 --> 00:30:04,632
Close.
Left elbow.
575
00:30:04,632 --> 00:30:06,952
Uh-oh.
OK, so we need pink or brown.
576
00:30:08,912 --> 00:30:11,192
Oh, well done. Pink.
Left elbow, pink. Yeah.
577
00:30:14,672 --> 00:30:17,552
Right.
So we ideally want bum, white.
578
00:30:17,552 --> 00:30:19,312
Bum, white.
579
00:30:19,312 --> 00:30:20,712
Bum.
580
00:30:20,712 --> 00:30:23,432
That is... Oh, that is bum white!
Oh!
581
00:30:23,432 --> 00:30:24,632
That is, well done.
582
00:30:26,672 --> 00:30:28,552
It'd be lovely if it lands
on that table.
583
00:30:28,552 --> 00:30:30,392
It's left hand, white.
584
00:30:31,472 --> 00:30:33,432
This is actually the hardest bit.
Yeah.
585
00:30:36,912 --> 00:30:41,232
Left elbow, pink. Ass, black.
Left hand, yellow.
586
00:30:49,952 --> 00:30:52,272
YES! Oh!
What have we got now?
587
00:30:52,272 --> 00:30:53,672
Sophie can choose what Joanne does.
588
00:30:53,672 --> 00:30:55,992
Right hand, brown, Sophie.
589
00:30:55,992 --> 00:30:59,032
Right hand, brown, please.
OK.
590
00:30:59,032 --> 00:31:00,712
That's the bull's-eye.
591
00:31:00,712 --> 00:31:02,152
It's bull's-eye.
What do you want to move?
592
00:31:02,152 --> 00:31:04,872
My right knee, please. Right knee.
Black, please. Black.
593
00:31:06,552 --> 00:31:07,632
It's black.
594
00:31:10,152 --> 00:31:11,432
That's bull's-eye.
595
00:31:12,712 --> 00:31:14,432
That's the bull's-eye.
You've got a bull's-eye.
596
00:31:14,432 --> 00:31:15,632
That's bull's-eye.
597
00:31:15,632 --> 00:31:16,792
It's bull's-eye again.
598
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:18,552
Bull's-eye.
Bull's-eye.
599
00:31:21,312 --> 00:31:22,952
How long left?
600
00:31:22,952 --> 00:31:24,392
I think infinity.
601
00:31:24,392 --> 00:31:25,872
It's most moves.
602
00:31:25,872 --> 00:31:28,752
I'm going to try for the right foot.
603
00:31:28,752 --> 00:31:30,072
And is.
Right foot.
604
00:31:30,072 --> 00:31:32,352
So right foot,
we want brown or pink.
605
00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:37,552
Brown. So your right foot... Yeah.
OK.
606
00:31:37,552 --> 00:31:40,072
Uh, we need a knee on black please,
unfortunately, in there.
607
00:31:40,072 --> 00:31:41,152
Oh, no. Oh, shit.
608
00:31:41,152 --> 00:31:42,672
Bit of a problem here.
That might not be possible.
609
00:31:42,672 --> 00:31:44,472
That is the end
of your first movement.
610
00:31:44,472 --> 00:31:46,272
Now if you all switch round
one place.
611
00:31:46,272 --> 00:31:47,872
What, that's the first part?
612
00:31:47,872 --> 00:31:49,072
No, I'm only joking.
613
00:31:50,152 --> 00:31:51,592
APPLAUSE
614
00:31:54,072 --> 00:31:56,752
The bottle was a bit of a set-up
really, wasn't it?
615
00:31:56,752 --> 00:31:58,712
It's just to make you look like
a prick. Yeah.
616
00:32:00,072 --> 00:32:02,832
Yeah, he knows what he's doing.
If you can't throw a bottle.
617
00:32:02,832 --> 00:32:04,152
Yeah, but it's very hard.
618
00:32:04,152 --> 00:32:05,752
You did pick your positions.
619
00:32:05,752 --> 00:32:08,032
I was forced into mine
by the darts champion.
620
00:32:09,312 --> 00:32:11,832
That is true. I mean, fair play,
he's good at darts.
621
00:32:11,832 --> 00:32:14,192
Yeah. He's good at darts.
Genuinely impressive, wasn't it?
622
00:32:14,192 --> 00:32:16,912
Yeah. I'm not sure we got
to test how nimble you were.
623
00:32:16,912 --> 00:32:18,552
Um, in fairness...
624
00:32:18,552 --> 00:32:21,032
So how many moves? Like,
I was in that dome for a good...
625
00:32:21,032 --> 00:32:22,712
JOHN: Hour.
..hour.
626
00:32:22,712 --> 00:32:25,112
So how many different moves
did they manage to do?
627
00:32:25,112 --> 00:32:26,872
A total of 43.
628
00:32:26,872 --> 00:32:29,392
Wow!
APPLAUSE
629
00:32:29,392 --> 00:32:32,272
So five points to the team of three.
630
00:32:32,272 --> 00:32:34,592
And what shall I give
these poor fuckers?
631
00:32:34,592 --> 00:32:35,952
The old man and the little boy.
632
00:32:37,312 --> 00:32:38,592
Five?
633
00:32:41,672 --> 00:32:42,832
It's a thought.
634
00:32:44,112 --> 00:32:46,752
Two points - let's call it charity.
Five and two.
635
00:32:46,752 --> 00:32:49,912
Well, there we go. Two points, and
five points to the team of three.
636
00:32:49,912 --> 00:32:51,552
APPLAUSE
637
00:32:51,552 --> 00:32:54,472
Right, can we get going
with another task, please?
638
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:56,912
Ooh! Yes, of course, and, hey,
639
00:32:56,912 --> 00:32:59,192
remember what happened earlier on
in the show?
640
00:33:11,752 --> 00:33:13,112
Hello, Alex.
Hello, John.
641
00:33:15,392 --> 00:33:19,272
Right, here we are.
"To Nick. From Sophie."
642
00:33:19,272 --> 00:33:20,592
Is this the hamper?
643
00:33:21,792 --> 00:33:24,152
I put one together for John,
I think.
644
00:33:24,152 --> 00:33:28,752
Aw! "To Steve. From Joanne."
Is this a gift?
645
00:33:28,752 --> 00:33:31,072
Do you remember making one of them?
646
00:33:31,072 --> 00:33:33,112
I don't.
Nah.
647
00:33:33,112 --> 00:33:35,392
Oh, right, it's from Nick.
That's handy.
648
00:33:36,392 --> 00:33:37,992
Is it...? Was it..? Is it colour...?
649
00:33:37,992 --> 00:33:39,832
Is it colour-coded for a reason?
650
00:33:39,832 --> 00:33:42,152
Red. He thinks I'm angry?
651
00:33:43,512 --> 00:33:44,992
Or sexual.
652
00:33:44,992 --> 00:33:48,752
Oh, wow. Shall I?
653
00:33:48,752 --> 00:33:52,272
"Create a picture of the person
that gave you this hamper..."
654
00:33:52,272 --> 00:33:55,112
"..using the contents
of this hamper."
655
00:33:55,112 --> 00:33:57,872
"Best hamper picture wins.
You have 15 minutes."
656
00:33:57,872 --> 00:34:00,232
"Create a picture of the person..."
So, like...
657
00:34:00,232 --> 00:34:01,752
Yeah, this is your canvas.
658
00:34:01,752 --> 00:34:04,392
Ah, OK. OK. OK.
659
00:34:04,392 --> 00:34:08,032
"You have 15 minutes.
Your time starts now." Fab.
660
00:34:08,032 --> 00:34:10,592
I've already got a human head,
661
00:34:10,592 --> 00:34:13,472
which is a great start
for any likeness.
662
00:34:13,472 --> 00:34:16,192
Got two trifles, a baguette.
663
00:34:16,192 --> 00:34:18,712
A lovely little
red bit of carpet.
664
00:34:18,712 --> 00:34:21,592
Uh, I met Steve years ago,
and I was with my grandad,
665
00:34:21,592 --> 00:34:23,952
and they actually have
the same face.
666
00:34:23,952 --> 00:34:25,872
They've got the same nose.
It goes up.
667
00:34:25,872 --> 00:34:27,472
I would say he's quite romantic.
668
00:34:27,472 --> 00:34:29,152
Is that because there are
some roses in the hamper?
669
00:34:29,152 --> 00:34:30,672
Yeah.
Yeah.
670
00:34:30,672 --> 00:34:33,592
OK, she has an hourglass figure.
671
00:34:33,592 --> 00:34:35,112
Ah!
672
00:34:35,112 --> 00:34:38,312
I think that's sort of going to
be our background. Lovely.
673
00:34:38,312 --> 00:34:40,232
Well, we're going to start
with his tuxedo.
674
00:34:41,832 --> 00:34:45,032
A lovely round face.
675
00:34:45,032 --> 00:34:47,792
We could always have this
to prop up the head,
676
00:34:47,792 --> 00:34:52,192
because, you know,
behind every head, there is a skull.
677
00:34:52,192 --> 00:34:54,752
Oh, no, do you know what?
That's his tongue cos he's
678
00:34:54,752 --> 00:34:55,992
a smart guy.
679
00:34:55,992 --> 00:34:57,512
I'd say he could cut you.
680
00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:59,832
With his tongue?
Yeah.
681
00:34:59,832 --> 00:35:02,112
A ski slope nose, you see?
682
00:35:02,112 --> 00:35:03,192
Oh, no.
683
00:35:03,192 --> 00:35:04,512
That's the shape of her.
684
00:35:04,512 --> 00:35:05,832
Oh, you DO know what
she looks like.
685
00:35:07,632 --> 00:35:11,152
I need to make sure
the face is there.
686
00:35:11,152 --> 00:35:13,072
Very important, yeah.
687
00:35:13,072 --> 00:35:14,392
She has lovely blonde hair,
688
00:35:14,392 --> 00:35:17,752
and luckily we have something
roughly the right shade.
689
00:35:17,752 --> 00:35:21,752
I'm going to make his testicles
the roses.
690
00:35:21,752 --> 00:35:24,072
Like, I think he's respectful
in the sack.
691
00:35:24,072 --> 00:35:26,072
That's what they indicate.
692
00:35:26,072 --> 00:35:29,832
And I think it's going to have
to be beans for the face.
693
00:35:29,832 --> 00:35:31,792
Oh, look, it's even sticking
to the thing
694
00:35:31,792 --> 00:35:33,232
because of the banana slime.
695
00:35:33,232 --> 00:35:34,432
Just like her actual hair.
696
00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,712
Just like...
STEVE LAUGHS
697
00:35:39,192 --> 00:35:42,912
And obviously Sophie's famously got
those bright orange eyes.
698
00:35:42,912 --> 00:35:45,792
Oh, the cushion?
That's again for under here.
699
00:35:45,792 --> 00:35:47,832
He's the kind of guy who'd offer
a cushion if you needed
700
00:35:47,832 --> 00:35:50,952
to be on your knees around him.
He's a romantic.
701
00:35:52,832 --> 00:35:57,232
I mean, it's not actually turning
out to be that bad, I have to say.
702
00:35:57,232 --> 00:36:00,472
It's not actually going too badly.
Right.
703
00:36:00,472 --> 00:36:02,032
It's not bad.
704
00:36:02,032 --> 00:36:03,672
I don't think that's bad.
705
00:36:03,672 --> 00:36:05,312
No, you've said that 12 times now.
706
00:36:07,352 --> 00:36:10,352
Cos I know John has
a certain "je ne sais quoi."
707
00:36:10,352 --> 00:36:12,032
Exactly what these crisps are.
708
00:36:12,032 --> 00:36:14,392
I feel like Neil Buchanan, actually.
709
00:36:14,392 --> 00:36:17,552
Cos she's obviously not blue.
Oh, she smells, doesn't she?
710
00:36:17,552 --> 00:36:19,872
She DOES smell, doesn't she?
711
00:36:19,872 --> 00:36:22,872
She's trying desperately
to cover that bald spot up.
712
00:36:22,872 --> 00:36:24,912
I do the centre of the eye.
713
00:36:24,912 --> 00:36:27,272
Any legs for John, or not really?
714
00:36:27,272 --> 00:36:29,592
I haven't seen him walking around
much, to be honest.
715
00:36:29,592 --> 00:36:31,112
A lot going on.
716
00:36:31,112 --> 00:36:32,472
Yeah, I think that's lovely.
717
00:36:33,672 --> 00:36:35,392
He shouldn't have a hat on,
should he?
718
00:36:36,552 --> 00:36:37,712
I don't think.
719
00:36:39,992 --> 00:36:42,352
No.
Thanks, Sophie.
720
00:36:44,032 --> 00:36:47,512
Yeah. Really good.
Fabulous, thank you.
721
00:36:47,512 --> 00:36:49,472
APPLAUSE
722
00:36:51,232 --> 00:36:54,192
Yet again... I know.
..Grandad is slammed.
723
00:36:54,192 --> 00:36:56,152
Unbelievable, isn't it?
It's incredible, innit? Yeah.
724
00:36:56,152 --> 00:36:58,712
And is there any truth that he
looked like... He met my grandad!
725
00:36:58,712 --> 00:37:00,432
I did meet Sophie's grandad at a do.
726
00:37:00,432 --> 00:37:03,552
I do actually have the photo. Yeah.
Well, then let us be the judge.
727
00:37:03,552 --> 00:37:05,152
NICK: Aw!
728
00:37:05,152 --> 00:37:07,872
You're right! They have sort of
got a similar face.
729
00:37:07,872 --> 00:37:12,272
He was sloshed that night, actually.
Nearly got kicked out. Did he?
730
00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:14,632
Well, he insulted Melvyn Bragg
from across the room. Did he?
731
00:37:14,632 --> 00:37:17,072
LAUGHTER
He just screamed at him,
732
00:37:17,072 --> 00:37:19,832
"I've got your book, I fell asleep,
it was shite."
733
00:37:19,832 --> 00:37:21,792
LAUGHTER
734
00:37:21,792 --> 00:37:23,472
APPLAUSE
735
00:37:23,472 --> 00:37:24,752
It was awful!
736
00:37:26,272 --> 00:37:27,672
Right, time for the last ad break.
737
00:37:27,672 --> 00:37:30,912
And remember, one of today's prizes
is an ice cube.
738
00:37:32,592 --> 00:37:34,152
We'll see you in a minute.
739
00:37:34,152 --> 00:37:35,272
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
740
00:37:39,882 --> 00:37:42,922
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
741
00:37:42,922 --> 00:37:46,042
Hello! Welcome back to Taskmaster!
742
00:37:46,042 --> 00:37:48,562
It's the final part of the show,
and our contestants have had to
743
00:37:48,562 --> 00:37:51,762
make portraits of each other
using the contents of a hamper.
744
00:37:51,762 --> 00:37:54,122
Yes, but have the hampers
hampered them?
745
00:37:54,122 --> 00:37:57,562
Well, let's start with
Steve's portrait of Joanne.
746
00:37:59,282 --> 00:38:02,522
I love it!
Yeah, I'm pleased with that.
747
00:38:02,522 --> 00:38:06,082
Highlights look good.
You're blow-drying your hair.
748
00:38:06,082 --> 00:38:08,402
SOPHIE: Oh, yeah.
Is she? How's she...? Oh, she is!
749
00:38:08,402 --> 00:38:09,642
Yeah, she's blow-drying her hair.
750
00:38:09,642 --> 00:38:12,042
Yes. There's a lot of detail in it.
I love it!
751
00:38:12,042 --> 00:38:14,402
What's going on with her top lip?
Is it me?
752
00:38:14,402 --> 00:38:16,922
Yeah, she's looking in the mirror,
she's, like, giving it all...
753
00:38:16,922 --> 00:38:18,282
.."Suck it off."
754
00:38:18,282 --> 00:38:20,042
LAUGHTER
755
00:38:20,042 --> 00:38:21,922
APPLAUSE
756
00:38:23,322 --> 00:38:25,322
I would say one detail
you can't see there is that,
757
00:38:25,322 --> 00:38:28,082
underneath the face, there is a
skull. Yeah.
758
00:38:28,082 --> 00:38:29,162
Which is quite a detail.
759
00:38:29,162 --> 00:38:31,442
That is nice, isn't it?
760
00:38:31,442 --> 00:38:32,962
Memento mori. "Remember...
761
00:38:32,962 --> 00:38:35,682
GRADUAL LAUGHTER
762
00:38:35,682 --> 00:38:38,122
"..we are all going to die."
763
00:38:38,122 --> 00:38:40,682
Yeah, and I'm not reminded enough
of my own mortality, Steve,
764
00:38:40,682 --> 00:38:43,042
you're right. Well, I fucking
have been tonight. Yeah.
765
00:38:43,042 --> 00:38:44,602
LAUGHTER
766
00:38:44,602 --> 00:38:46,162
APPLAUSE
767
00:38:48,242 --> 00:38:50,562
Who's next? We've seen
Steve's picture of Joanne,
768
00:38:50,562 --> 00:38:51,962
now it's Joanne's picture of John.
769
00:38:54,242 --> 00:38:56,682
JOHN: I like it cos it looks like
a memorial to me.
770
00:38:58,442 --> 00:39:00,722
I think it looks someone who's
dropped a hamper.
771
00:39:01,762 --> 00:39:03,562
Well, it's, uh,..
772
00:39:03,562 --> 00:39:06,082
My understanding was it was
the essence of John,
773
00:39:06,082 --> 00:39:08,522
and I knew John to be a very
sweet, romantic man,
774
00:39:08,522 --> 00:39:10,882
so that's kind of what I went with,
and also...
775
00:39:10,882 --> 00:39:12,842
That's not what I heard
in your earlier description.
776
00:39:12,842 --> 00:39:15,162
APPLAUSE
777
00:39:15,162 --> 00:39:17,482
It's a real man puts down a cushion,
Greg, I can tell you.
778
00:39:20,402 --> 00:39:23,802
And roses for hands.
Roses for hands! Yes.
779
00:39:23,802 --> 00:39:26,482
And testicles.
LAUGHTER
780
00:39:26,482 --> 00:39:27,642
Good. Well, who's next?
781
00:39:27,642 --> 00:39:30,922
OK, so now it's John's turn.
Let's see his picture of Nick.
782
00:39:30,922 --> 00:39:32,242
NICK: Oh!
783
00:39:33,802 --> 00:39:38,322
Well, I wanted to represent
the magic in Nick's career,
784
00:39:38,322 --> 00:39:40,122
so he is bursting out of a bin.
785
00:39:40,122 --> 00:39:41,562
LAUGHTER
786
00:39:44,602 --> 00:39:48,322
So I used the flour
to create the tuxedo,
787
00:39:48,322 --> 00:39:50,322
and his face is made of beans.
788
00:39:50,322 --> 00:39:52,362
LAUGHTER
789
00:39:52,362 --> 00:39:56,122
I love the way you've caught
the thick chinstrap that Nick wears.
790
00:39:58,762 --> 00:40:00,082
Good. Who's next?
791
00:40:00,082 --> 00:40:02,762
OK, well, obviously it's now
Nick's picture of Sophie.
792
00:40:04,122 --> 00:40:06,402
LAUGHTER
793
00:40:08,002 --> 00:40:09,642
I genuinely don't think
that's too bad.
794
00:40:11,002 --> 00:40:12,882
He's captured an energy of sorts.
795
00:40:12,882 --> 00:40:14,682
Yeah. Baffled.
796
00:40:16,482 --> 00:40:17,722
Yeah. Yeah.
797
00:40:17,722 --> 00:40:20,162
If you imagine that face turning
round to you and going, "Huh?"
798
00:40:20,162 --> 00:40:21,882
LAUGHTER
799
00:40:21,882 --> 00:40:23,162
OK. OK.
800
00:40:23,162 --> 00:40:26,002
One more. This is how Sophie Willan
sees Steve Pemberton.
801
00:40:27,762 --> 00:40:30,082
LAUGHTER
802
00:40:30,082 --> 00:40:32,802
NICK: Yours is really good, Sophie.
That's really good.
803
00:40:32,802 --> 00:40:34,682
APPLAUSE
804
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:37,282
I look like a Mr Man.
LAUGHTER
805
00:40:37,282 --> 00:40:39,162
I just saw it and went, "Yes."
806
00:40:41,042 --> 00:40:43,322
OK, well, here are all five
of the portraits.
807
00:40:44,842 --> 00:40:47,682
Well, honestly, I don't think
Joanne's necessarily captured
808
00:40:47,682 --> 00:40:49,442
the man.
There was some detail in there,
809
00:40:49,442 --> 00:40:51,802
I'm going to give it two points,
not one. Oh.
810
00:40:51,802 --> 00:40:54,122
Ah, thank you.
I'm giving John three points.
811
00:40:54,122 --> 00:40:56,482
Then I think I'm going to give Nick
812
00:40:56,482 --> 00:40:59,242
and Steve four points,
813
00:40:59,242 --> 00:41:02,482
because I just think that Sophie...
814
00:41:02,482 --> 00:41:03,682
Yes!
815
00:41:03,682 --> 00:41:05,962
I think Sophie has captured the man,
somehow.
816
00:41:07,682 --> 00:41:10,442
So that's five points
to Sophie Willan!
817
00:41:10,442 --> 00:41:12,282
What are the scores? The scores...
818
00:41:12,282 --> 00:41:14,762
Well, it's very satisfying,
it goes 16, 15, 14, 13,
819
00:41:14,762 --> 00:41:16,082
10 for Nick.
820
00:41:16,082 --> 00:41:18,042
LAUGHTER
821
00:41:18,042 --> 00:41:19,602
And it's Steve at the top
at the moment.
822
00:41:19,602 --> 00:41:21,922
It looks like this. Let's have
a look. SOPHIE: Come on!
823
00:41:21,922 --> 00:41:23,562
APPLAUSE
824
00:41:26,042 --> 00:41:27,442
Well done!
825
00:41:27,442 --> 00:41:29,802
Well, it's that time again.
Please make your way
826
00:41:29,802 --> 00:41:32,122
to the stage for the final task
of the show!
827
00:41:32,122 --> 00:41:33,802
APPLAUSE
828
00:41:43,002 --> 00:41:46,002
Hello, you lovely boy.
Oh, thanks, Greg.
829
00:41:46,002 --> 00:41:47,922
It's a team task.
I know.
830
00:41:47,922 --> 00:41:53,002
One member from each team must
stand on the gold circles beneath.
831
00:41:53,002 --> 00:41:55,362
Team of two, who's going to stand
on the golden circle?
832
00:41:55,362 --> 00:41:57,722
Me. Team of three, who's going to
stand on the golden circle?
833
00:41:57,722 --> 00:41:59,482
I am.
Ah, Joanne.
834
00:41:59,482 --> 00:42:03,002
Please, Joanne and Nick, make your
way down to the golden circles.
835
00:42:03,002 --> 00:42:05,282
Not that way! Oh. No, that way...
836
00:42:05,282 --> 00:42:06,442
You, that way, yes, but not...
837
00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:09,002
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
838
00:42:11,722 --> 00:42:13,562
Who will be reading
the team task out?
839
00:42:13,562 --> 00:42:16,042
I would like Sophie
to read the task.
840
00:42:16,042 --> 00:42:19,242
"Completely cover your team-mate
in rubber rings.
841
00:42:21,722 --> 00:42:26,522
"Catchers must face the Taskmaster
at all times
842
00:42:26,522 --> 00:42:29,562
"with their hands above their head.
843
00:42:29,562 --> 00:42:32,842
"Throwers must stay behind
the white line.
844
00:42:32,842 --> 00:42:35,562
"First team to completely cover
their team-mate
845
00:42:35,562 --> 00:42:37,562
"in rubber rings wins."
846
00:42:37,562 --> 00:42:39,162
He'll be gone in three rings.
847
00:42:39,162 --> 00:42:41,882
LAUGHTER
848
00:42:41,882 --> 00:42:44,442
Not with my hands in the air,
surely!
849
00:42:44,442 --> 00:42:47,282
I mean, Nick's a three-ring man.
He's a three-ring man!
850
00:42:47,282 --> 00:42:49,802
Greg, I'm going to come down into
the trough to retrieve the rings
851
00:42:49,802 --> 00:42:52,362
and fling them back, and then I'll
blow the whistle and we'll start,
852
00:42:52,362 --> 00:42:53,842
but the hands must be above
the head. Good.
853
00:42:53,842 --> 00:42:55,202
STEVE: And we can't go past
this white line?
854
00:42:55,202 --> 00:42:57,722
You can't go past. If anyone
catches you going over this line,
855
00:42:57,722 --> 00:42:59,202
your team will be disqualified.
SOPHIE: Right.
856
00:42:59,202 --> 00:43:00,362
Greg, when's the game over?
857
00:43:00,362 --> 00:43:03,122
The game is only over if I shout,
"I cannot see Nick,"
858
00:43:03,122 --> 00:43:04,642
or, "I cannot see Joanne."
859
00:43:04,642 --> 00:43:08,242
OK. Flingers, get ready.
OK, good luck, hands up.
860
00:43:08,242 --> 00:43:10,602
Head back, head back.
Hands up. Let's go.
861
00:43:10,602 --> 00:43:12,962
WHISTLE BLOWS
And we're off. Oh!
862
00:43:14,562 --> 00:43:16,202
JOHN: You can move, Joanne,
once they're on.
863
00:43:17,282 --> 00:43:19,522
AUDIENCE CHEERS
864
00:43:21,802 --> 00:43:24,722
Don't cross that line, Sophie.
I'm not!
865
00:43:26,122 --> 00:43:28,402
Yes!
We have one over here.
866
00:43:31,842 --> 00:43:33,042
Good.
867
00:43:38,162 --> 00:43:41,122
Argh! Oh, hands up,
hands up at all times.
868
00:43:41,122 --> 00:43:42,962
Oh, they're catching up.
869
00:43:44,482 --> 00:43:45,842
JOHN: Lean back.
870
00:43:45,842 --> 00:43:48,362
AUDIENCE GROANS
871
00:43:49,802 --> 00:43:51,202
CHEERS
Oh, it's close, it's close!
872
00:43:51,202 --> 00:43:52,842
Oh, God!
873
00:43:58,362 --> 00:44:00,242
I can just see a little bit
of Nick!
874
00:44:01,522 --> 00:44:02,642
Yes!
875
00:44:04,922 --> 00:44:08,762
I cannot see Nick!
I cannot see Nick!
876
00:44:08,762 --> 00:44:10,482
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
877
00:44:10,482 --> 00:44:13,762
That was electric.
Right, let's free them,
878
00:44:13,762 --> 00:44:16,242
and let's add that to the final
scores. Come and join me.
879
00:44:16,242 --> 00:44:17,922
APPLAUSE
880
00:44:25,362 --> 00:44:28,242
Well. It was so close. So close!
881
00:44:28,242 --> 00:44:31,162
Fine margins,
it's all about fine margins.
882
00:44:31,162 --> 00:44:33,722
It's all about fine margins.
883
00:44:33,722 --> 00:44:37,602
You want to see some fine margins?
JOANNE GASPS, AUDIENCE GROANS
884
00:44:37,602 --> 00:44:39,922
If you're going to show me margins,
you make them fine.
885
00:44:41,562 --> 00:44:43,322
Have a look at this fine margin.
886
00:44:43,322 --> 00:44:45,842
JOHN: Oh!
887
00:44:45,842 --> 00:44:48,762
Well, I think what I can see there...
Oh, that's Steve.
888
00:44:48,762 --> 00:44:51,482
..is a foot that's
a little bit over the line.
889
00:44:51,482 --> 00:44:54,362
Please, please. I mean,
I'm not sure it's conclusive.
890
00:44:54,362 --> 00:44:55,842
But I can show you this one. Yeah.
891
00:44:58,642 --> 00:45:00,602
Well, that would be another
foot over the line, would it?
892
00:45:00,602 --> 00:45:02,402
That was about 20 seconds later,
or I could show you this one.
893
00:45:02,402 --> 00:45:03,562
Oh, a third? Oh, my...
894
00:45:05,442 --> 00:45:07,522
NICK: Steve!
895
00:45:07,522 --> 00:45:09,842
I'm sorry.
No, don't worry.
896
00:45:09,842 --> 00:45:12,562
You don't have to disqualify us.
897
00:45:12,562 --> 00:45:16,322
You think I don't have to follow
the rules of the competition, Steve?
898
00:45:16,322 --> 00:45:18,682
Yeah, I do.
I think it's your rules, your game.
899
00:45:18,682 --> 00:45:21,882
Well, as much as it breaks my heart,
rules are rules.
900
00:45:21,882 --> 00:45:23,722
I'm afraid Nick and Steve
are disqualified.
901
00:45:23,722 --> 00:45:25,522
AUDIENCE GROANS
902
00:45:25,522 --> 00:45:29,442
Listen, don't start @-ing me.
903
00:45:29,442 --> 00:45:30,722
We said what the rule was -
904
00:45:30,722 --> 00:45:32,602
if you cross the line,
you're disqualified
905
00:45:32,602 --> 00:45:34,922
so I'm afraid it's five points
to the team of three.
906
00:45:34,922 --> 00:45:36,802
Wow, and poor old Nick...
907
00:45:36,802 --> 00:45:39,442
I know. I mean, I was at
the bottom anyway, but still.
908
00:45:39,442 --> 00:45:41,282
LAUGHTER
909
00:45:41,282 --> 00:45:43,042
And not just the episode,
the series.
910
00:45:43,042 --> 00:45:45,762
The series as well, yeah.
You're on 72 points. Yeah.
911
00:45:45,762 --> 00:45:49,322
The next one's on 83.
That's Sophie. 98 to Steve,
912
00:45:49,322 --> 00:45:51,602
Joanne's on 105, John's on 113.
913
00:45:51,602 --> 00:45:52,842
Joanne's doing really well.
914
00:45:52,842 --> 00:45:54,842
Yeah, you shouldn't seem surprised
at one person.
915
00:45:54,842 --> 00:45:56,122
LAUGHTER
916
00:45:56,122 --> 00:45:58,042
No, I'm not... Not surprised,
917
00:45:58,042 --> 00:46:00,002
like, genuinely proud.
I think it's brilliant.
918
00:46:02,562 --> 00:46:03,882
So tell me some scores.
919
00:46:03,882 --> 00:46:06,242
That's put the cat amongst
the pigeons, so to speak.
920
00:46:06,242 --> 00:46:09,922
Again. Yes, Nick is rooted
on ten points.
921
00:46:09,922 --> 00:46:11,442
You can't get much lower than that.
922
00:46:11,442 --> 00:46:13,122
LAUGHTER
923
00:46:13,122 --> 00:46:17,002
But with double that score,
it's her first victory.
924
00:46:17,002 --> 00:46:19,602
20 points goes to Joanne McNally.
Oh!
925
00:46:19,602 --> 00:46:22,482
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Ah!
926
00:46:22,482 --> 00:46:26,882
Joanne McNally is the winner
of episode six!
927
00:46:26,882 --> 00:46:30,002
Please go and get your things
you can get into.
928
00:46:30,002 --> 00:46:33,322
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
929
00:46:33,322 --> 00:46:36,522
So what have we learnt
from today's show?
930
00:46:36,522 --> 00:46:39,682
We've learnt it's exciting being
part of a big show like this,
931
00:46:39,682 --> 00:46:43,322
just as it's exciting being part of
a new phenomena, OK?
932
00:46:43,322 --> 00:46:45,762
Because, let's face it, it's not
going to be long
933
00:46:45,762 --> 00:46:48,562
until the number one Christmas game
is going to be
934
00:46:48,562 --> 00:46:50,842
Mustard, Custard, Oh, My.
935
00:46:52,042 --> 00:46:54,402
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
936
00:46:56,082 --> 00:46:59,922
But, of course, it's all about
the winner of episode six.
937
00:46:59,922 --> 00:47:02,202
It's Joanne McNally!
938
00:47:02,202 --> 00:47:06,082
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
939
00:47:31,162 --> 00:47:33,202
Subtitles by Red Bee Media