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{\an2}This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
2
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{\an2}Well, well, well.
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{\an2}Ooh! Oh, no, no!
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{\an2}Yes!
SHE SCREAMS
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{\an1}SHE HISSES
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{\an2}Erm...
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{\an2}Quite windy today. Yeah.
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{\an2}Whoo! Wrong way.
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{\an2}That's how you do it, baby. OK.
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{\an2}Oh, my God!
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{\an1}THEY EXCLAIM
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{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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{\an2}Hello! I'm Greg Davies,
welcome to Taskmaster.
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{\an2}Tell Nan to stop shuffling around
the kitchen - we're starting.
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{\an2}That's it, in you come, Nan,
sit down. Get her a cushion.
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{\an2}Get Nan a cushion. Sit Nan up.
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{\an2}Nan?
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{\an2}Na-a-an!
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{\an2}Oh, it's OK - she's asleep.
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{\an2}So let's just get stuck in
to some comedians.
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{\an2}Please welcome Joanne McNally...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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{\an2}..John Robins...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,680
{\an2}..Nick Mohammed...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,120
{\an2}..Sophie Willan...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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{\an2}..and Steve Pemberton!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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{\an2}And next to me, a man who recently
confided in me when drunk
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{\an2}that he thinks the Pride movement
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{\an2}has got "a bit out of hand".
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{\an2}IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:
It's Little Alex Horne!
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{\an2}Now, I, I...
Yeah, I don't remember that.
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{\an2}So I've got you, uh, I've got you
a coffee. Just got you a coffee.
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{\an2}Ah, what...? Then we'll crack on
with the show. OK.
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{\an2}I know how you like your coffee.
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{\an2}I like my coffee black...
I know you do.
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{\an2}..with milk on the side.
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{\an2}It's here, it's a black coffee
with milk on the side.
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{\an2}It's got milk on the side!
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{\an2}It's got milk...!
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{\an2}ALEX CLEARS THROAT
Ready.
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{\an2}It's prize task time.
What's the category, please, Alex?
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{\an2}Yes, well, unfortunately it's
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{\an2}"the thing of yours
Greg would most like
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{\an2}"to squeeze in his mighty hands."
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{\an2}Yes, that's where we're at,
and I'm fine with it.
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{\an2}Greg will give five points
to the thing he'd like
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{\an2}to squeeze most in his mighty hands,
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{\an2}and all five squeezable things
will go home with
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{\an2}the winner at the end of the show.
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{\an2}It's easy squeezy.
THEY LAUGH
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{\an2}Nick. Yes. What have you brought in
that I might like
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{\an2}to squeeze in my mighty hand?
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{\an2}This is a ticket,
this is Nick's thigh token,
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{\an2}and this is basically
one thigh squeeze per month and,
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{\an2}I'm going to let you... Genuinely
going to let you squeeze it,
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{\an2}and the reason why
is because there is
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{\an2}an element of surprise.
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{\an2}There is. Go for it.
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{\an2}Oh, fuck.
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{\an2}There you go. That's it.
That's that.
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{\an2}What a mighty tree trunk
you're hiding. Yeah.
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{\an2}It's really hard, isn't it?
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{\an2}What's THAT all about?
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{\an2}I just walk everywhere fast.
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{\an2}I was not expecting that.
I mean, that feels...
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{\an2}I feel alive.
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{\an2}I feel alive. Can you describe -
was there any give to them at all?
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{\an2}Let's have a go on yours.
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{\an2}Ew.
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{\an2}I'm just wondering
how's this going to work.
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{\an2}Will you go to them or do they have
to come to you?
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{\an2}That's a good question, actually.
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{\an2}We'll just sort of meet
somewhere central.
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{\an2}Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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{\an2}OK, good start. Unusual.
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{\an2}Hi, Steve. Hi.
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{\an2}Uh, I have brought you a device,
Greg, that will allow you
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{\an2}to squeeze a filling of your choice
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{\an2}into an unpeeled banana.
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{\an2}He's not lying.
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{\an2}It's similar in...in the way
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{\an2}that they inseminate pigs. Um...
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{\an2}You've... God, this is turning out
to be a sexy episode, isn't it?
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{\an2}We actually have a video of it
in action,
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{\an2}if you'd like to see the video.
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{\an2}Oh, on a banana, yeah? On a banana.
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{\an2}We've used chocolate sauce.
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{\an2}You could...
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{\an2}I actually have a banana down here
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{\an2}that I would like to show you
and demonstrate.
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{\an2}Oh, for God's sake, Steve.
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{\an2}This is an unpeeled banana, yeah?
Yeah.
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{\an2}And, uh, so you've sent your kids
to school.
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{\an2}And they've said, "Ooh, what's
the surprise today in my banana?"
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{\an2}And they break it open
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{\an2}and inside you get lovely
chocolate.
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{\an2}That's good! Ooh!
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{\an2}Sorry St...Steve, have you got
shares in this company?
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{\an2}No.
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{\an2}I'll read you out just one of
the many positive reviews.
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{\an2}"Inexpensive enough
to enjoy the memories made."
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{\an2}Thanks, Steve. Joanne.
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{\an2}I'm just going to show the picture.
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{\an2}It's something I think
you'd like to squeeze.
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{\an2}It's my nose. So, I have
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{\an2}no cartilage in my nose.
What do you mean?
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{\an2}Well, so it goes
all the way flat down. Wow...
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{\an2}So I used to flatten it out,
that was my party trick.
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{\an2}I'd flatten it down and then
I'd, like, buff it back up after
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{\an2}to remould it. Do you wanna try?
Can I? Yeah.
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{\an2}You're gonna squeeze it
in your mighty hand.
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{\an2}No, you have to...
It's more like a push-down.
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{\an2}Just give me your finger.
I'll guide you.
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{\an2}I do sort of...
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{\an2}Keep the hair out of the face.
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{\an2}Do...do you want me to hold your
hair back?
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{\an2}Yeah, that'd be great, thanks.
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{\an2}I told you, he's a gentleman!
Here we go.
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{\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS
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{\an2}I don't like it, I don't like it!
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{\an2}I don't like it.
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{\an2}I answered the brief.
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{\an2}No, the brief asked for something
123
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{\an2}I'd LIKE to squeeze
in my mighty hands.
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{\an2}I feel like I've been forced.
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{\an2}It's kind of cool, isn't it?
I wonder why you haven't got that?
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{\an2}And I'm adopted
so when I was younger...
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{\an2}You went round pressing
people's noses.
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{\an2}I was like, "Are YOU my mum?
Are YOU my mum?
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{\an2}"Are YOU my mum? Are YOU my mum?"
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{\an2}John.
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{\an2}Well, Greg, I have brought for you
to squeeze in your mighty hands
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{\an2}my farthing collection.
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{\an2}SOPHIE: Wow!
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{\an2}When I was at school, I didn't have
a huge amount of friends.
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{\an2}Girls weren't particularly
interested,
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{\an2}so I thought I'll set myself apart
through collecting coins.
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{\an2}I presume they're discoloured
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{\an2}with your tears of loneliness.
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{\an2}Hmm... Do you want to squeeze them
in your mighty hands?
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{\an2}Of course not, I want to...
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{\an2}I want to hold John and tell him
it's going to be all right.
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{\an2}All right, who's left? Uh, Sophie.
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{\an2}Yes, I'd gone down
the body parts theme as well.
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00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,480
{\an2}I tried to get my left breast
for you
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00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,400
{\an2}to squeeze, cos it's my better one.
146
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:24,480
{\an2}Is it detachable? Well, I was going
to have it moulded.
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{\an2}I mean, it'll send me over the
edge, Sophie.
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{\an2}I've already squeezed a thigh
and someone's brain.
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{\an2}Yeah, and nipples are not allowed
on Channel 4.
150
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{\an2}And I thought, "What would be
lovely to squeeze,
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00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,920
{\an2}"and what have I got
in the dressing room?" Right.
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{\an2}I thought, "If I've not got a tit,
what have I got?"
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00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,000
{\an2}You know what I mean?
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{\an2}So this is what's left.
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{\an2}A bottle of paint.
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{\an2}You don't mind if I just write down
"one point" while you're...?
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{\an2}Is there any part of you wants
to squeeze that paint
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{\an2}in your mighty hands? Yeah. Yeah!
159
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:03,800
{\an2}There is part of me that wants
to give it a squeeze, yeah.
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00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,760
{\an2}And it's not necessarily
one point, by the way,
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{\an2}because we have - let's not forget -
John's farthing collection.
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{\an2}Give them both one point.
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{\an2}Or both two points. Yeah, yeah.
164
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:17,120
{\an2}Yeah, I'll give them both
two points. Oh.
165
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{\an2}I'd quite like to squeeze both,
in a way.
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00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,120
{\an2}I feel sorry for John.
Yeah, they're charity points.
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{\an2}Two to John, two to Sophie.
168
00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:26,040
{\an2}I don't think I particularly want to
pump bananas full of stuff, Steve.
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00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,040
{\an2}I'll give you three points. OK.
170
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,960
{\an2}I think it's Nick Mohammed's thigh
I want to squeeze the most.
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00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,120
{\an2}Oh!
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00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,760
{\an2}Yeah, I'm gonna say it's four
points and five points.
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00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,200
{\an2}Fair enough. Five to Nick Mohammed.
Well done, Nick!
174
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,640
{\an2}Well done, Jo.
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00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:39,960
{\an2}OK.
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00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,320
{\an2}Let's get tasking, Alex.
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00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:47,000
{\an2}Oh, flip off, Greg...in a good way.
178
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:59,200
{\an2}Is it warm, your jacket?
Do you know, it's not?
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00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,040
{\an2}How's the coat? Very comfy, yeah.
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00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:05,480
{\an2}It's both warm and fabulous,
so what more do you need?
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00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,520
{\an2}Just, just like me. Mm.
182
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,840
{\an2}A flip-flop, a flapjack and a...
183
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,120
{\an2}..flan.
184
00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,880
{\an2}Flip-flop, flan, flapjack. Yeah.
185
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,840
{\an2}Flip, flan, jack.
186
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:21,440
{\an2}That's not the... OK,
will I just open it? Yes, please.
187
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,480
{\an2}Flick, flip and flap
a flip-flop, flan and flapjack.
188
00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:34,640
{\an2}You may only flick,
flip and flap once.
189
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,920
{\an2}Furthest flicked,
flipped and flapped
190
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:41,360
{\an2}flip-flop, flan and flapjack
finishes first.
191
00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:42,960
{\an2}You have 15 minutes.
192
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,080
{\an2}Ah, no. Right.
193
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,320
{\an2}It doesn't say 15 minutes.
194
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,760
{\an2}You have flifteen minutes.
195
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:54,120
{\an2}You have flifteen minutes,
your time starts now.
196
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,040
{\an2}You have 15 minutes. Not quite.
197
00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:58,960
{\an2}You have 15 minutes.
198
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,320
{\an2}No.
199
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,880
{\an2}So I've got one flick,
one flip and one flap.
200
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,240
{\an2}Yes.
201
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,560
{\an2}The furthest flap,
but what's the furthest flap?
202
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:08,800
{\an2}I dunno.
203
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,680
{\an2}You have 15 minutes?
204
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:14,200
{\an2}No. Which bit? The whole thing?
205
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,480
{\an2}The 15 bit.
206
00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:19,360
{\an2}You have flifteen minutes.
Your time starts now.
207
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,760
{\an2}Oh, flifteen!
208
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:23,600
{\an2}Yes, I put an L in it.
209
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,240
{\an2}God, you're right, you're a monkey
actually, aren't you?
210
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:29,000
{\an2}Yeah, there's always a trick,
in't there?
211
00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,320
{\an1}APPLAUSE
212
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,120
{\an2}You like a little tongue twister,
don't you?
213
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:37,320
{\an2}Uh, that's my favourite ever thing.
214
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,520
{\an2}You got all excited. Yeah,
I really did. I bet this whole task
215
00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,560
{\an2}was created just so you could
say lots of "fl"s.
216
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,160
{\an2}I'm gonna say more in a minute.
Naughty fl.
217
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:48,560
{\an2}OK, well, Joanne and John are
the flirst to flip, flap and flick.
218
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,920
{\an2}You're gonna be flapping from here?
219
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,360
{\an2}Yeah.
220
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,360
{\an2}How far should I go?
221
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,960
{\an2}Further than that.
222
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,440
{\an2}Don't patronise me.
223
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,480
{\an2}I'd say go home.
I'm gonna stay here.
224
00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:01,200
{\an2}Greg's gonna flick the flip-flop.
Is he?
225
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,920
{\an2}So if I just...
226
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:05,480
{\an2}Yes, mate!
227
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,400
{\an2}So this is the flip-flop.
228
00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:09,440
{\an2}OK.
229
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:10,840
{\an2}You ready? Ready.
230
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,200
{\an1}LAUGHTER, JOANNE SCREECHES
231
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,400
{\an2}False start.
232
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,760
{\an2}I'm happy with that.
233
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:25,400
{\an2}OK.
234
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,560
{\an2}That's been flapped, has it?
235
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:30,160
{\an2}Disappointed with that flap.
Hit it really hard at the net.
236
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,000
{\an2}I curved to the left.
You did, a bit.
237
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,520
{\an2}I'm gonna flip.
238
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,720
{\an2}I'm absolutely thrilled.
I've never used a cable tie before.
239
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:44,520
{\an2}Ready, steady...
240
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,320
{\an1}HE GRUNTS
241
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,920
{\an2}It's gone quite far, Alex.
242
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,520
{\an2}So you're flicking that,
you're definitely
243
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,000
{\an2}gonna be flicking it, are you?
Flicking it, yeah.
244
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,200
{\an2}Come on, you bastard.
245
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,320
{\an2}Just go gaffer, go gaffer crazy.
246
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,360
{\an2}Tighter, tighter.
247
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,560
{\an2}Onto the skin?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, onto the skin.
248
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,560
{\an2}I'm very happy.
249
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,320
{\an2}Flop a flan is like turn
a flan over, basically.
250
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,920
{\an2}John, you've got
one and a half minutes left.
251
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,040
{\an2}OK, I'm just thinking,
if I flap like that...
252
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,240
{\an2}..then that gets
a bit of balance in the old...
253
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,040
{\an2}Right.
254
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,720
{\an2}Oh!
255
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,120
{\an2}Oh, that's not bad.
WHISTLE BLOWS
256
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,920
{\an2}Bye, John. Bye-bye!
257
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,800
{\an2}OK, you ready? Oh, yeah.
258
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,440
{\an2}At least I hit something.
259
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,160
{\an2}You flopped him right in the face.
260
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,000
{\an2}I wish there were more sportspeople
who,
261
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,760
{\an2}as they do whatever sport
they're playing, shouted,
262
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,280
{\an2}"Come on, you bastard."
263
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:08,440
{\an2}Yeah.
264
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:09,800
{\an2}I thought John was very creative.
265
00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:13,000
{\an2}I very much enjoyed you turning
yourself into a giant,
266
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,080
{\an2}uh, human albatross.
267
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,040
{\an2}Do you know what? Watching it back,
268
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,440
{\an2}I remember the feeling of freedom.
269
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,920
{\an2}You asked him to gaffer tape
your wings on and Alex said,
270
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,960
{\an2}"Do you want me to put it
on the skin?"
271
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,320
{\an2}And he was so genuinely excited.
Yes.
272
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,760
{\an2}Show them the face.
I couldn't believe my luck.
273
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,160
{\an1}LAUGHTER
274
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,560
{\an2}Little things,
little things keep me going.
275
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,320
{\an2}OK, advert time.
276
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,240
{\an2}Alex, why don't you sign off this
part for a change?
277
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,640
{\an2}ECHO-Y: Thanks, Greg.
278
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,600
{\an2}Oh, oh, dear.
279
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:47,680
{\an2}Did Daddy pay the sound man
to make Alex echo again?
280
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:51,400
{\an2}Ah, see you in part two-o-o!
281
00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,400
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
282
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:04,280
{\an2}Hello, hello, everyone,
welcome back to Taskmaster,
283
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,600
{\an2}where we were in the thick
of a flipping,
284
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,640
{\an2}flicking and flapping task.
285
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,400
{\an2}Oh, yes. The incredible hunk is
right.
286
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:16,840
{\an2}Up next, it's flipping Sophie Willan
and flapping Steve Pemberton.
287
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,440
{\an2}Have you seen Cirque du Soleil?
288
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,240
{\an2}They did a very similar thing
to this.
289
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,560
{\an2}I've always wanted to, actually.
Slam time.
290
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,280
{\an2}I was wondering when it would be.
291
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,960
{\an2}I'm gonna go quick, OK?
292
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,120
{\an2}Run out. OK, is everyone ready?
293
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:31,920
{\an2}We've alerted the...
Heathrow about the flight path? OK.
294
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:33,920
{\an2}Your time starts now.
295
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,080
{\an2}Ooh, right, OK. Well, I'm gonna,
296
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,120
{\an2}I'm gonna flick a flip-flop.
297
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,600
{\an2}Just checking that's your attempt,
is it, on the flip-flop?
298
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,880
{\an2}That was... Yeah, I flicked it.
Yeah, cos it's furthest wins.
299
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,560
{\an2}It didn't go very far.
Oh, it's furthest wins,
300
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,120
{\an2}I missed that,
I forgot about that bit.
301
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:48,400
{\an2}Yeah, well, you've done that one.
Oh, God, no. Is that it now?
302
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,680
{\an2}Yeah, that went a centimetre.
303
00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,360
{\an2}Right, OK,
so that wasn't my best work.
304
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,880
{\an2}One, two, three.
305
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,360
{\an2}I am gonna measure
the height rather than the distance.
306
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,680
{\an2}I think you should.
307
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,080
{\an2}I'm gonna flip this
because I think it'd be very fun.
308
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:12,160
{\an2}Is it all right to flip a flan?
Of course it is, yeah.
309
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,160
{\an2}I felt like I just had to.
310
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,000
{\an2}I feel quite rebellious.
311
00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:20,920
{\an2}Flapjack to flick.
312
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,320
{\an2}And am I allowed to use a pen
to flick with?
313
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:26,000
{\an2}Please be careful. Oh, thank you.
314
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,520
{\an2}Quite sharp.
315
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:28,760
{\an2}OK, this is a one-off.
316
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,200
{\an2}Happy with that. Wow, flapjack flag.
317
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:37,800
{\an2}OK.
318
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,440
{\an2}And, right, with the flapjack,
I can only do one last thing now.
319
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,200
{\an2}Just to say you have got
fl-ourteen minutes left.
320
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,600
{\an2}Oh, I've got fl-ourteen minutes.
321
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,200
{\an2}I've got ages. Yeah.
322
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,200
{\an2}I've not thought this through.
323
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,720
{\an2}Um, how many of my flifteen minutes
have I got left?
324
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,200
{\an2}Six.
325
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,480
{\an2}Six. When I get to flive,
let me know. OK.
326
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,040
{\an2}I'm gonna flap the flip-flop.
327
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:57,480
{\an2}What's a flap?
328
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,080
{\an2}If we're gonna be flapping,
I think we need...
329
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,560
{\an2}..we need an owl.
330
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:07,520
{\an2}If you will imagine that this blue
blanket is the owl's wing
331
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,960
{\an2}and that is where the flap
comes in, OK? I'd love to.
332
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,280
{\an2}I think I'm gonna flap.
I'd say a flap is like a, I'm...
333
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,240
{\an2}Oh, that, yeah.
334
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,480
{\an2}That was better.
335
00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,160
{\an2}That cleared the stage.
336
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,640
{\an2}When you startle the owl...
337
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:21,840
{\an2}Yeah.
338
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,080
{\an2}..the flap will happen.
339
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,280
{\an2}There's a mouse!
340
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,040
{\an1}STEVE HOOTS
341
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,520
{\an2}How was that?
342
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,120
{\an2}Well, you've made
the flip-flop disappear.
343
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,440
{\an2}It's gone!
344
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,760
{\an2}You've finished the task.
Right, not well, though.
345
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,240
{\an2}But it was done. Thank you.
346
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,160
{\an2}That was fun.
347
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,600
{\an2}What can I say? I'm happy with that.
WHISTLE BLOWS
348
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,600
{\an2}That's your time up. Thank you,
Steve. Thank you.
349
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,600
{\an2}Can I just say? Jumping on that,
350
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,120
{\an2}uh, pivot and sending that flan
into the sky, it made me so happy.
351
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,240
{\an2}Well, as you walked off at the end,
with your owl tucked under your
arm,
352
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,440
{\an2}you looked like the happiest boy
in the schoolyard.
353
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,080
{\an2}I was! I don't care
whatever else happens,
354
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,760
{\an2}this was my moment.
355
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:15,600
{\an1}LAUGHTER
356
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:18,680
{\an2}So, Sophie,
do you feel any sense of shame?
357
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,600
{\an2}I definitely didn't grasp
the task well.
358
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:30,000
{\an2}You know, it was fine
because I was done in two minutes.
359
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:31,440
{\an2}Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
360
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,080
{\an2}I didn't know that it was supposed
to be entertaining.
361
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:38,440
{\an2}I think that's...what...I missed.
362
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,360
{\an2}Well done, Steve.
363
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,800
{\an2}Who's next, please?
364
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,680
{\an2}Everyone's had a go, apart from Nick.
365
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,600
{\an2}Oh, he's such an intelligent,
366
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,440
{\an2}talented man. I just can't wait
to see him having a go.
367
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,360
{\an2}You may only flip, flick
and flap once.
368
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:00,480
{\an2}Ah.
369
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,200
{\an2}Why are you going over there?
370
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,480
{\an2}Cos it's the furthest. OK.
371
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,520
{\an2}Oh, he...
LAUGHTER
372
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:26,880
{\an2}Flipped.
373
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,480
{\an2}Have you finished? Yeah.
374
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,920
{\an8}I could only do...do it once.
375
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,120
{\an2}Yeah, I think I've nailed it.
376
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,120
{\an2}Thanks, Nick. Uh, thank you.
Lovely stuff.
377
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,720
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
378
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:49,720
{\an2}Well, I presume some of the
cheering
and applause there is sarcastic.
379
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,960
{\an2}And carrying the table
across the garden?
380
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,680
{\an2}In a wonderfully ceremonial way.
381
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,640
{\an2}Yeah. Oh, it was borderline
religious.
382
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,640
{\an2}Thank you. Uh, yeah, well,
383
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,440
{\an2}just trying to get as far away from
Alex as possible, really.
384
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,160
{\an2}Yeah, he thought furthest
from Alex. Um...
385
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,200
{\an2}Furthest from Alex.
Was that what it said?
386
00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,840
{\an2}No. No, no, no.
387
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,520
{\an2}Sophie, you must be fucking punching
the air. I feel fantastic now, yeah.
388
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:19,400
{\an2}Were you watching the other four
thinking, "What are you doing?!"
389
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,640
{\an2}Genuinely, cos you saved me
till the end I was like,
390
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,000
{\an2}"I've nailed this."
LAUGHTER
391
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,960
{\an2}I whispered to him...
Yeah, you did, you did.
392
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,800
{\an2}"Have you done something
extraordinary?"
393
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,280
{\an2}And I was like, "Oh, yeah."
394
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,040
{\an2}So what did Nick do?
395
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,920
{\an2}He did flick some objects
off a table.
396
00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:41,120
{\an2}Sure. I've just measured it
397
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,760
{\an2}from where the flick started
to where it ended.
398
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,080
{\an2}So I've just gone from the top
of the table to the floor.
399
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,400
{\an2}Height of the table is a metre.
400
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,920
{\an2}We're measuring everything
in pigeons -
401
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,720
{\an2}but just the width
of pigeons all stood next
402
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,760
{\an2}to each other - so it'd be about,
uh, ten pigeons.
403
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,640
{\an2}And Sophie was 56.9 pigeons
404
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,680
{\an2}so that shows how badly you did,
Nick.
405
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,120
{\an2}Now, let's get on
to the serious athletes.
406
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,680
{\an2}Joanne, 197 pigeons,
407
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,880
{\an2}Steve, 208 pigeons,
so, yes, he is in second place.
408
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,720
{\an2}But the mighty John flapped,
409
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,520
{\an2}flicked and flipped 408 pigeons
in a row. Wow.
410
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,800
{\an2}A huge total of standing pigeons!
So many pigeons.
411
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,520
{\an2}40.8 metres. So five to John,
four to Steve,
412
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,560
{\an2}three to Joanne, two Sophie
and one to Nick.
413
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,400
{\an2}Marvellous.
Can we have a scoreboard?
414
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,000
{\an2}It's a three-way at the top.
415
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,680
{\an2}We have...
LAUGHTER
416
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,400
{\an2}..seven points for Joanne,
417
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,840
{\an2}John and Steve.
418
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,200
{\an1}APPLAUSE
419
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,400
{\an2}Lovely, what's next, then?
I'd love to tell you,
420
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,040
{\an2}but it's a secret.
GREG GASPS
421
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,440
{\an2}And it's a secret which
I'm going to tell you right now.
422
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:44,960
{\an2}Hi, Steve. Hi.
423
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,880
{\an2}Do you mind opening that
and reading it?
424
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,240
{\an2}WHISPERS: Please could you take this
and read it?
425
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,280
{\an2}Now?
426
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:51,560
{\an2}Yes, quietly.
427
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:52,960
{\an2}I'm so sorry.
428
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,520
{\an2}WHISPERS: You've got something
secret.
429
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,680
{\an2}Well, I've gotta give you that.
430
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,560
{\an2}Got a little bonus thing for you.
431
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,360
{\an2}Oh. But it's very secretive.
432
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,160
{\an2}Ooh!
433
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:06,040
{\an2}WHISPERS: In the next task, you must
say the word umbrella five times.
434
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:11,680
{\an2}WHISPERS: In the next task, you must
say the word umbrella five times.
435
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,520
{\an2}If you say the word umbrella
five times
436
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,560
{\an2}and no-one else says
the word umbrella,
437
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,920
{\an2}you get two bonus points.
438
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,280
{\an2}Your team-mates must hear you say
umbrella -
439
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:25,080
{\an2}your umbrellas - and you must not
mention the concept of a bonus
task.
440
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:27,280
{\an2}The next task you must lie on...
Sh!
441
00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,440
{\an2}The other people,
it's secret from them.
442
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:34,440
{\an2}Right. In the next task you must
lie on the floor for 30 seconds.
443
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,200
{\an2}If you lie on the floor
for 30 seconds
444
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,000
{\an2}without anyone questioning
why you're lying on the floor,
445
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,120
{\an2}you get two bonus points.
446
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,520
{\an2}In the next task, you must get
something from the caravan,
447
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,880
{\an2}the shed, the hutch and the toilet
before the task is finished.
448
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,600
{\an2}If you get something from all those
places without anyone questioning
449
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,840
{\an2}why you're getting something from
all those places,
450
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:56,400
{\an2}you get two bonus points.
451
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,600
{\an2}OK, this is getting pretty serious.
452
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,280
{\an2}ALL: If you fail,
you lose two points.
453
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,920
{\an2}Thank you, bye-bye. Bye, Alex.
454
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
455
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,440
{\an2}I don't mean to be rude,
456
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,120
{\an2}but I can't think of anyone
less suited to a secret task...
457
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:19,080
{\an2}Joanne literally talks at the
same volume you would... I know!
458
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,320
{\an2}..use to warn ships away from
rocks.
459
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,680
{\an1}LAUGHTER
460
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,040
{\an2}OK, so we know their secret tasks,
461
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,000
{\an2}but what's the team task
to test them?
462
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,440
{\an2}It's time to find out.
463
00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:44,000
{\an2}Hello, John. Hello, Alex.
464
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,640
{\an2}Hello, Steve. Hello.
465
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,360
{\an2}Hello, Joanne. Hello, Alex.
466
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,560
{\an2}Hello, Nick. Hello, Alex.
467
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,040
{\an2}Hello, Sophie. Hello.
468
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,760
{\an2}Hello, team. Hello.
469
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,400
{\an2}Hello, team. Hello.
470
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,760
{\an2}Whoo. Ooh.
471
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,280
{\an2}OK. I'll take the lead here.
472
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,240
{\an2}Uh, put the watermelon
on this table.
473
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,880
{\an2}Put the watermelon on this table.
474
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:10,960
{\an2}The table may not be moved.
475
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,400
{\an2}Once you leave this room,
you may not re-enter this room.
476
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,600
{\an2}Also you may not step on the stage
477
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,040
{\an2}and the watermelon may not
touch the...
478
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,960
{\an2}..touch the stage, floor or ground.
479
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,360
{\an2}Finally, you must speak into your
hand-held microphones at all times.
480
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,680
{\an2}Fastest wins.
481
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,400
{\an2}Your time started when you said
hello for a fourth time.
482
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,280
{\an2}You did say hello a lot
at the beginning.
483
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,760
{\an2}Oh, God. Did we?
484
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,200
{\an2}Yeah, I said, "Hello, Steve.
Hello, Nick. Hello, team."
485
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,520
{\an2}And then,
each time you both said hello.
486
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,040
{\an2}Oh. So put the watermelon on this
table. The table may not be moved.
487
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:41,320
{\an2}Into the microphones, please.
488
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,360
{\an2}They don't work.
489
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:44,400
{\an2}ALL: Oh.
490
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,480
{\an1}APPLAUSE
491
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,040
{\an2}That's it. Mm-hm.
492
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,600
{\an2}There's some sneaky stuff afoot.
493
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,600
{\an2}OK, well, here are
the team of three with Joanne,
494
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,400
{\an2}John and good old subtle Sophie.
495
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,640
{\an1}LAUGHTER
496
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,600
{\an2}There's a watermelon on the stage.
497
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,160
{\an2}So who wants to stay in the room
to receive the watermelon?
498
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,040
{\an2}I'm happy to stay in the room to
receive. Are you happy to receive?
499
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:11,520
{\an2}A watermelon. Are you...?
Let's keep...
500
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,400
{\an2}You seem to know what you're doing.
..keep you in for now and I'll go
501
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,240
{\an2}and check there's a watermelon out
there. That's fine.
502
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:16,720
{\an8}All right. Umbrella, yeah, great.
503
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,960
{\an2}OK, right, I see what's going on.
504
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,600
{\an2}There is a watermelon on the
stage. Oh, God, right. OK.
505
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,880
{\an2}I got these from the hutch
506
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,280
{\an2}just in case you
wanna lay them on the floor.
507
00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,040
{\an8}Right, OK, we could do that.
508
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,000
{\an2}We need to think of something
to use to get
509
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,840
{\an2}the watermelon off the stage.
510
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,600
{\an8}Umbrella. Can you check
what does it say? Yeah.
511
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,240
{\an8}Put the watermelon on this table.
512
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:39,680
{\an8}Right, umbrella.
Once you leave this room,
513
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,240
{\an2}you may not re-enter this room.
So... We can touch the watermelon.
514
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,120
{\an2}Yeah, but we can't walk on
the stage.
515
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,360
{\an2}Right, OK. What's going on here?
516
00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,200
{\an2}You're here,
you're ready to receive.
517
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,120
{\an2}Right, I'm...
I feel like an umbrella.
518
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,320
{\an8}I've got this from the caravan.
519
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,040
{\an8}Oh, good idea. Step on the stage.
520
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,440
{\an8}You may not step on the stage,
521
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:04,840
{\an8}the watermelon may not touch
522
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,240
{\an8}the stage, floor or ground.
523
00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:07,360
{\an2}Oh, yeah, grand. So I think,
524
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,440
{\an2}but...we need something else
to pat,
525
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,040
{\an2}to stop it hitting the stage.
One sec.
526
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,840
{\an8}John, what if I lie down
527
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,000
{\an8}and then you roll it on to me.
528
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,360
{\an8}Right, I've got this from the shed
529
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,920
{\an8}and that from the toilet.
530
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,200
{\an8}Umbrella?
531
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,800
{\an8}You may not step on the stage.
532
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,920
{\an8}The water... You may not step
on the stage.
533
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,040
{\an8}Well, if we step on that,
are we stepping on the stage?
534
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,520
{\an8}Ruling, please, Alex?
535
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,560
{\an2}I am unfortunately
not the rule-maker.
536
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:40,880
{\an2}Don't know what's going on.
537
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,360
{\an2}Then to be honest,
I've not had a clue what's going on
538
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,000
{\an2}for most of this.
539
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:47,800
{\an2}Umbrella.
540
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,920
{\an2}He went past, so I can say that.
541
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,240
{\an2}John, I've cracked it.
542
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,320
{\an2}Oh, yes! You might need something
to hook it with,
543
00:24:56,360 --> 00:24:57,840
{\an2}like an umbrella. Brilliant.
544
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,480
{\an8}It's gonna be quite heavy.
You might need something
545
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,920
{\an8}to hook it with, like an umbrella!
546
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,320
{\an8}Yeah. Quick.
547
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:03,800
{\an2}John, Sophie's trying to talk to you.
548
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,800
{\an2}Great. No, we've got it.
549
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,240
{\an8}Not an umbrella?
550
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,560
{\an2}Great stuff. We've got the
watermelon. Yeah, brilliant.
551
00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,480
{\an2}Sophie, are you ready to receive
the watermelon?
552
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,040
{\an2}Are you ready receive?
I am, umbrella, I am.
553
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,760
{\an2}Are you allowed to touch
the watermelon?
554
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,760
{\an2}I'm allowed to touch
the watermelon, am I not?
555
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,400
{\an2}Let's check it. Yeah.
556
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,960
{\an2}Where's the task?
557
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,320
{\an2}Has it gone?
558
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:25,560
{\an2}Where's the task?
559
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,280
{\an2}I think I can touch the watermel...
560
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,480
{\an2}Well, all the information's
on the task. Right, all right.
561
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,560
{\an2}John, it's in your pocket.
John, it's in your pocket!
562
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,200
{\an2}You umbrella!
563
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,640
{\an2}Right, come on. Yeah, we can touch
the watermelon.
564
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,720
{\an2}Great, I'll just pick it up,
you umbrella. Well, just pick...
565
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,160
{\an2}..take the basket and
put it on like that. All right.
566
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,000
{\an2}Run, Sophie, run! Run, Sophie, run.
567
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:46,480
{\an8}That's like carrying an umbrella.
568
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,120
{\an2}We did it. Whoo!
569
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:51,760
{\an2}Done. I've stopped the clock.
570
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,120
{\an2}I thought we really pulled it
together there at the last minute.
571
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,240
{\an2}OK. There was no umbrella.
572
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:57,600
{\an2}No, you didn't need an umbrella.
573
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
574
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,840
{\an2}I mean, in many ways,
575
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,800
{\an2}this task is a sort of metaphor
for life, really.
576
00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,800
{\an2}In that none of us are listening
to each other really, are we?
577
00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:14,360
{\an2}You, uh, you only had to say
umbrella five times.
578
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:17,520
{\an2}I just wanted to make sure
they'd got it,
579
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,400
{\an2}but without getting it. How many
times did she say umbrella?
580
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,080
{\an2}15. 15.
581
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:24,120
{\an2}But by the end, she wasn't even
trying to slip it in.
582
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,200
{\an2}She was,
she was just going, "Umbrella!"
583
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
584
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:32,360
{\an2}Neither of you noticed this woman
lying on the floor.
585
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:36,280
{\an2}John was standing right beside me
and didn't even blink.
586
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,520
{\an2}Didn't even,
didn't acknowledge it at all.
587
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,760
{\an2}My head was in the mud,
I was just lying there.
588
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,960
{\an2}I think the more time I've spent
with Sophie and with,
589
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,720
{\an2}uh, Joanne, the less likely I am
to notice that
590
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:49,840
{\an2}Sophie has said umbrella 15 times
591
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:51,840
{\an2}and Joanne's just laid down
592
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,760
{\an2}for 30 seconds. And Joanne's just
lying on the floor.
593
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,520
{\an2}I'll tell you, definitely all three
of them get their two bonus points.
594
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,880
{\an2}Oh, God, yeah.
OK, time for another break.
595
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,360
{\an2}Watch the adverts by all means,
but know this,
596
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,000
{\an2}you don't need an air fryer,
597
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:06,160
{\an2}you need to start noticing
each other again.
598
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,920
{\an2}Kiss, spend the break kissing.
599
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,400
{\an2}We'll see you in a bit.
600
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,360
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
601
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,400
{\an2}Hello, there you are! Welcome back
to the Taskmaster fold.
602
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:28,120
{\an2}Oh, yes, it's like a big calzone
with a filling
603
00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,840
{\an2}and Greg the heavy-duty dough
604
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,880
{\an2}smothering us in his moist vacuum.
605
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,080
{\an2}Hello.
LAUGHTER
606
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:35,360
{\an2}There's a team task in play,
607
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,160
{\an2}all they've gotta do is get
the watermelon on
608
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,200
{\an2}the table in the living room
609
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,960
{\an2}without it touching the ground
at all.
610
00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,520
{\an2}But they also each have
a secret task to complete.
611
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,480
{\an2}So let's see Nick
and Steve try to be sneaky
612
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,560
{\an2}and efficient at the same time.
613
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,200
{\an2}Put the watermelon on this table,
and we can't move this table.
614
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,960
{\an2}Hmm, OK. Right, well, we need
to get going, don't we?
615
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,640
{\an2}We need to see where
the watermelon is. Yeah. OK.
616
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,360
{\an2}Come on, let's go
and find that watermelon.
617
00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,960
{\an8}Yeah, I wanna find, uh,
an umbrella to find stab it
618
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,040
{\an8}and then pop it on the end
or something. Yeah.
619
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,960
{\an8}And then, well, we could always
take one. Did you bring the task?
620
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,080
{\an2}No.
621
00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,160
{\an2}You've got the task?
622
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:06,320
{\an2}I don't have the task.
623
00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:07,520
{\an2}There's the watermelon.
624
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:12,160
{\an2}We may not step ON the stage.
625
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,600
{\an2}We may not step on the stage!
626
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,200
{\an2}Where's the task? Where's the task?
627
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:18,600
{\an2}Um...
628
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:19,920
{\an2}D... So.
629
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,000
{\an2}Shall I run back and get the task?
Yes, please.
630
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,880
{\an2}Yeah, you keep talking
in your microphone. Uh...
631
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,280
{\an2}Steve's just going to get the...
Oh, I can't go back in the room.
632
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,200
{\an2}..the task again.
Can't go back in the room.
633
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,480
{\an2}Oh, God. So we've gotta find a way
of getting that off there.
634
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,200
{\an2}Look.
635
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,960
{\an2}Hang on. Oh, God watch out here.
636
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,760
{\an2}All right. Oh, my God.
637
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,440
{\an8}Would it be better if I used
the umbrella or the brick?
638
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,240
{\an2}Oh.
639
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,800
{\an2}That was good. OK, OK.
640
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,520
{\an2}Are we any further forward?
641
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,920
{\an2}What about one of these pipes?
642
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,880
{\an2}Oh, yeah, we should've done that in
the first place.
643
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,240
{\an2}Go on.
644
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:56,280
{\an2}Oh.
645
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,280
{\an2}Yeah! Oh.
646
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:00,640
{\an2}Oh, hang on. Ah!
647
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:02,720
{\an2}I've got it, I've got it!
648
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,240
{\an2}Oh! OK, now, it can't leave
the stage. Are we done?
649
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:06,640
{\an2}No, it can't leave the stage?
650
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:07,680
{\an2}What did it say?
651
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,840
{\an2}Does it say...Alex, remind us can
it leave the stage?
652
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,080
{\an2}I don't think it's really my job
to remind you what the task is.
653
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,440
{\an2}All right.
654
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,440
{\an2}It was definitely something to do
with the watermelon and the stage.
655
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,560
{\an2}Was, did...?
656
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,600
{\an8}Did it involve an umbrella?
657
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,920
{\an2}Say again. Did it say something
about we're not allowed...?
658
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,400
{\an2}Why didn't we bring the task
with us?
659
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,480
{\an2}Oh, I'm gonna get, let's go and get
the task. We're not allowed back
660
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,200
{\an2}in the room. But, uh...
Well, let's just take it, then.
661
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,920
{\an2}Let me just see if
I can grab it without going back
in.
662
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,560
{\an2}Using this umbrella.
663
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,280
{\an2}Shall I bring the watermelon
cos this is a timed task?
664
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:44,720
{\an2}That's not gonna work.
665
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,080
{\an2}I can't remember if I can touch
the watermelon.
666
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,880
{\an2}Can I touch the watermelon?
667
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,040
{\an2}I can't remember
what the rules are.
668
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,320
{\an2}What do you two think the task is?
669
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,200
{\an2}We've gotta put this on the table.
670
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:04,200
{\an2}No, but I don't think
it's just that you carry it.
671
00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,160
{\an2}Well, if we don't know
what the task is,
672
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:07,640
{\an2}how are we gonna solve it?
673
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,200
{\an8}Right, it's clearly nothing to do
with this umbrella
674
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,080
{\an8}so I'll leave that there.
Right, OK. So...
675
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:13,440
{\an7}DING!
676
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,720
{\an2}Gotta put this on the table
and you can't move the table.
677
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,160
{\an2}My worry is it might,
might fall off the edge.
678
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,760
{\an2}Well, you can't literally go in
the room.
679
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,480
{\an2}OK. OK, you ready? Yeah.
680
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,120
{\an1}BANG
681
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:27,800
{\an1}LAUGHTER, BANG
682
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,440
{\an1}APPLAUSE, BANG
683
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:33,800
{\an2}Oh, in a... In a...in a, uh...
There is some on there.
684
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:35,080
{\an2}Where is the watermelon?
685
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:36,480
{\an2}On the table. It's on the table.
686
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:37,720
{\an2}And on the fl...bits are on
the floor.
687
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,080
{\an2}Do you think
you've completed the task?
688
00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:42,600
{\an2}Shall we just cut our losses
and say we've completed the task?
689
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,040
{\an2}I've stopped the clock.
690
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,960
{\an2}Can we now go and see what it was?
I don't think you should.
691
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,840
{\an2}STEVE WHEEZES
Oh. OK.
692
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,160
{\an1}APPLAUSE
693
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:53,960
{\an1}I don't remember it being that bad.
694
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:58,080
{\an2}Well, I thought you both managed
your secret tasks.
695
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,640
{\an2}You were showboating
with the umbrella.
696
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,440
{\an2}Yeah, the umbrella wink's gonna
catch on for you, I think. Yeah.
697
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,120
{\an2}OK.
698
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,160
{\an1}LAUGHTER
699
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,240
{\an2}In terms of the rest of it,
700
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,680
{\an2}well,
this is what I've written down -
701
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:15,240
{\an2}I don't think it's unfair
to say that that's
702
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,000
{\an2}the worst task attempt I've seen
in 17 series of the show.
703
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,040
{\an1}LAUGHTER
704
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,960
{\an2}So points-wise,
all five get their two points?
705
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,000
{\an2}Without question.
706
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,720
{\an2}Team of three, I'm presuming,
five points for doing the task?
707
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,440
{\an2}Correct. How many points
do the team of two get?
708
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,480
{\an2}Well, they just get their two bonus
points each.
709
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,720
{\an2}So it goes two points to Steve,
two points to Nick,
710
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,880
{\an2}all the rest get seven points.
There it is.
711
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,600
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
712
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,680
{\an2}Good. Let's get cracking
with another, please.
713
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,400
{\an2}OK, then,
but I think YOU should get a life.
714
00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:48,440
{\an1}GREG GASPS
715
00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,400
{\an2}Hi. Come on in.
716
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:00,680
{\an2}Two men enter the dome...
717
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:03,760
{\an2}Only one will leave.
718
00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,840
{\an2}This looks very serious, doesn't
it?
719
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,760
{\an2}I do tend to be. Shall we hold
hands?
720
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,680
{\an2}This is a mannequin but I thought
you could call it a Joanna-quin.
721
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,200
{\an2}JOANNA CHUCKLES
Nice.
722
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,760
{\an2}What are we up to, then?
723
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,880
{\an2}Ah. Yes.
724
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,720
{\an2}Ah, I knew it.
725
00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,280
{\an2}Ha-ha-ha.
726
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,360
{\an2}Make this mannequin come alive.
727
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,280
{\an2}It's alive!
728
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:27,880
{\an2}Does that mean...
729
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,840
{\an2}..sort of, decorate it or...
730
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:34,680
{\an2}..or as a sort of...performance?
731
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,800
{\an2}Most alive mannequin wins.
732
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,280
{\an2}You have 20 minutes...
733
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,280
{\an2}Your time...starts...now.
734
00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,400
{\an2}What does being alive mean?
This is deep, in't it? Um...
735
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:56,480
{\an2}What's your definition of alive? Um,
alive. I'd like to see some organs.
736
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:58,640
{\an2}Do you like it? Yeah.
737
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,600
{\an2}Just trying to, sort of, get some
sort of inspiration... Hmm.
738
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,440
{\an2}..from it.
739
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,160
{\an2}Oh. Well, that's a good start.
740
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,200
{\an2}OK.
741
00:33:07,480 --> 00:33:10,400
{\an2}You wouldn't be the first man
I know with a rod stuck up his
hole.
742
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
743
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:16,720
{\an2}Oh, God. Shall I bring the arms?
Yeah, maybe. OK.
744
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:20,800
{\an2}Oh, hello. Hello, everyone.
I'll be seeing you in a bit.
745
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:23,520
{\an2}Do not disturb.
746
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,720
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
747
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:33,600
{\an2}Well, I'm intrigued to watch them
all become Dr Frankenstein.
748
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,880
{\an2}Scale it back a little bit,
we're gonna start...
749
00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:38,720
{\an2}LAUGHTER
..with Sophie and John's mannequins
750
00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,280
{\an2}coming to life. Wow.
751
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,280
{\an1}PROJECTOR WHIRS
752
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:46,520
{\an1}WALTZ PLAYS
753
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,600
{\an2}LAUGHTER
Hello, my name's Wolfy,
754
00:33:56,640 --> 00:34:00,320
{\an2}I'm 36. I'm a Scorpio,
I'm looking for love.
755
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,440
{\an2}Do you have any hidden talents?
756
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,120
{\an2}I'm a very, very, very good dancer.
757
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,920
{\an2}For a...for a sort of
puppet-woman-wolf,
758
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:14,600
{\an2}I'm good at a few things.
759
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,160
{\an2}Well, I'd like to see that.
760
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:18,080
{\an2}All right, uh, one, two, three.
761
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:21,720
{\an2}Ooh, ooh, ah. Ooh, ooh, ah. Ooh,
la.
762
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:22,960
{\an2}Ooh, la-ah.
763
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,760
{\an2}Oooooh!
764
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,280
{\an1}LAUGHTER
765
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,120
{\an1}MWAH!
766
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:38,320
{\an1}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
767
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:43,720
{\an2}I can do a beatbox.
768
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,120
{\an2}Yes, I'd like to see that.
769
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:46,720
{\an2}Right.
770
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,040
{\an1}SHE BEATBOXES
771
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,320
{\an1}LAUGHTER
772
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,160
{\an1}BEATBOXING CONTINUES
773
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,480
{\an2}Thank you. I can't believe
you've been single for so long.
774
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:02,600
{\an2}I know. Stop it, you're flirting!
775
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:05,920
{\an2}Bye. Bye-bye.
776
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:08,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
777
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:16,760
{\an2}John's is quite haunting in a way.
778
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,160
{\an2}LAUGHTER
Just side note,
779
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,280
{\an2}you've got two of those jackets,
have you?
780
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,080
{\an2}What I saw there... Hmm.
781
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,360
{\an2}..was someone being thoughtful...
Hmm.
782
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,200
{\an2}..and intelligent, and I think
that was a really sweet response.
783
00:35:28,240 --> 00:35:29,360
{\an2}Thank you.
784
00:35:31,240 --> 00:35:33,160
{\an1}LAUGHTER
785
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:42,480
{\an2}And you did a, uh,
beatboxing puppet-wolf-woman.
786
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:43,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
787
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,600
{\an2}What's more alive
than a beatboxing wolf?
788
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,680
{\an2}An ashtray?
LAUGHTER
789
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,320
{\an2}She was called Party Dog.
36 years old and a Scorpio.
790
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:54,880
{\an1}LAUGHTER
791
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,080
{\an2}I mean, I really enjoyed it,
Sophie. It was so shit.
792
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:00,360
{\an1}LAUGHTER
793
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,720
{\an2}Good. Who's next?
794
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,960
{\an2}OK, well, brace yourself,
because it's
795
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,080
{\an2}Joanne Mc...mannequin-Nally...
It's Joanne... It's Joanne Mc...
796
00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,120
{\an2}It's Joanne Mc-man... It doesn't
matter, here we go. Joanne!
797
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:10,440
{\an1}LAUGHTER
798
00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,200
{\an1}RAIN LASHES
799
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,760
{\an2}Do you mind?
LAUGHTER
800
00:36:30,160 --> 00:36:32,800
{\an2}Kind of in the middle of something
here, Alex.
801
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,240
{\an8}Sorry, Joanne.
Trying to resuscitate a man.
802
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:36,720
{\an1}LAUGHTER
803
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:38,640
{\an1}ELECTRICAL BUZZING
804
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,280
{\an2}Darren!
SLAP
805
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:41,520
{\an1}LAUGHTER
806
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:42,920
{\an2}Come on, buddy.
807
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,640
{\an1}SLAP
No, I think he's properly gone now.
808
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,040
{\an2}Well, his eye's fallen off.
809
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,040
{\an2}He doesn't need it where he is.
LAUGHTER
810
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,240
{\an1}APPLAUSE
811
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,520
{\an2}What was the task again?
812
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,720
{\an2}Bring this mannequin to life.
813
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:01,920
{\an1}LAUGHTER
814
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:04,800
{\an2}Oh, it wasn't jumping on the corpse
of a mono-eyed man.
815
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:06,320
{\an1}LAUGHTER
816
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:09,000
{\an2}I don't know what I was doing.
817
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,240
{\an2}But what's interesting is you were
in control of the narrative...
818
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,840
{\an2}..and you chose not to save him.
819
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,360
{\an2}I literally announced his death
myself.
820
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,040
{\an1}LAUGHTER
821
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:20,320
{\an2}Stop what you're doing
822
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,960
{\an2}and watch the adverts, or don't.
I could not care less.
823
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,400
{\an2}Goodbye.
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
824
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:39,280
{\an2}APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Hello, hello again!
825
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,760
{\an2}Here we are,
it's the final part of the show
826
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,640
{\an2}and our comedians are busy bringing
to life mannequins.
827
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,840
{\an2}MONOTONE: Spot on, bro. Most alive...
828
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,200
{\an2}LAUGHTER
..mannequin wins
829
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:51,640
{\an2}and if you'd like to see
Nick Mohammed's attempt next,
830
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,040
{\an2}then you're in luck
because we're gonna see
831
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:55,720
{\an2}Nick Mohammed's attempt now.
832
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:57,680
{\an2}Oh, hello. Hello.
833
00:37:57,720 --> 00:38:02,200
{\an2}Now, I've...I've decided to show
you some, some magic.
834
00:38:02,240 --> 00:38:04,120
{\an2}OK, what, so, wh-what's your name?
835
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:06,520
{\an2}Daniel Paul. Daniel Paul, is it?
Yeah.
836
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:07,680
{\an2}Oh, hello, Daniel Paul.
837
00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:10,000
{\an2}So, what I'm gonna do is,
838
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:11,840
{\an2}I'm gonna cut this rope in half.
839
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,000
{\an2}I don't know if you've heard of
the,
840
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:15,480
{\an2}uh, famous cut-and-restored-rope
trick.
841
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,320
{\an2}Uh, as this is magic
we don't need real scissors,
842
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,080
{\an2}we just use magic scissors and, uh,
843
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,400
{\an2}I can just go snip like that. Ooh,
844
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,920
{\an2}like that and then one like that.
845
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,920
{\an2}Oh, dear. The ends have...
The ends have come off.
846
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,440
{\an2}Well, if they're the ends
then this must be, uh, the middle
847
00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,520
{\an2}and this doesn't even have any ends,
does it?
848
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:33,240
{\an2}So, uh, yes, there you go,
that's the little trick.
849
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,960
{\an2}And, thank you very much.
Um, my name's been Daniel Paul.
850
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:40,240
{\an2}Thank you.
APPLAUSE
851
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,960
{\an2}That's him bowing. See ya.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
852
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,600
{\an2}What a boring magician he was!
LAUGHTER
853
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:54,000
{\an2}I know. The actual trick was
brilliant, but him... Hmm.
854
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:57,040
{\an2}..he sort of was alive, but I kind
of wanted him dead throughout.
855
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,200
{\an1}LAUGHTER
856
00:38:58,240 --> 00:39:00,040
{\an2}He also occasionally would go...
SINGSONGY: .."Hello!"
857
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,360
{\an2}But then,
then he would just be my voice.
858
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,640
{\an2}Yeah... Yeah. One left.
859
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,480
{\an2}Yes, there is just one last attempt
860
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,160
{\an2}and remember, remember,
861
00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,920
{\an2}the fifth is Steve Pember.
862
00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:12,120
{\an1}LAUGHTER
863
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:15,440
{\an2}An attempt to fuse man
and mannequin.
864
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:16,840
{\an1}MENACING AND MYSTERIOUS MUSIC
865
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,320
{\an2}ECHOING AND DISTORTED: Man and
mannequin. You won't feel a thing.
866
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,200
{\an2}It's alive! Man and mannequin.
Alive, I tell you!
867
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:23,720
{\an2}It's alive.
868
00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:25,880
{\an2}If the eyes are the windows to
the soul...
869
00:39:25,920 --> 00:39:27,200
{\an2}There we go.
870
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,200
{\an2}Skin.
871
00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:32,360
{\an2}Oh. Skin.
872
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,200
{\an1}HIGH-PITCHED RAPID BEEPING
873
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:36,600
{\an2}An attempt to fuse man
and mannequin.
874
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:40,760
{\an2}FADING OUT: It's alive, it's alive.
Man and mannequin.
875
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,120
{\an1}MYSTERIOUS MUSIC BOX PLAYS
876
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:48,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
877
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:55,200
{\an2}Ah.
878
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:00,760
{\an1}MUSIC STOPS
879
00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:05,560
{\an2}"Ask me to dance."
880
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:09,240
{\an2}Would...would you mind dancing?
881
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:12,840
{\an2}HIGH-PITCHED: Are you referring
to me?
882
00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:14,840
{\an2}LAUGHTER
What is your name?
883
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:16,480
{\an2}Um... Alex.
884
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:17,800
{\an2}Oh, Alex.
885
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:19,120
{\an2}Alex Horne. I'm Quinn.
886
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:20,160
{\an2}Quinn?
887
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,720
{\an2}Quinn. Manny Quinn.
888
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:23,520
{\an2}LAUGHTER
Manny Quinn.
889
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:25,640
{\an2}I don't know if you can tell from
my expression,
890
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,800
{\an2}but I feel quite lonely.
891
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,280
{\an1}LAUGHTER
892
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,600
{\an2}I would certainly love it
if you would dance with me.
893
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:32,720
{\an2}Oh, I see.
894
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,200
{\an2}Because dancing makes me feel
895
00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:37,240
{\an2}the most alive
it's possible to feel.
896
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,600
{\an2}Haven't got long.
897
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,440
{\an2}Oh... Oh!
898
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:45,320
{\an2}ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS
Oh!Oh, dear.
899
00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:49,040
{\an2}Am I looking at you?
900
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,320
{\an2}Yes. Yeah.
901
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,120
{\an2}Do you like my scarf?
902
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:53,280
{\an2}I don't mind the scarf.
903
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,720
{\an2}Yeah, we're going all
the way round, are we? Yes. Yeah.
904
00:40:57,240 --> 00:40:58,480
{\an2}Are you looking at me?
905
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,920
{\an2}Yes. Yeah. Uh...
906
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER,
MUFFLED SPEECH
907
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,960
{\an2}I feel ALIVE!
908
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,840
{\an2}I FEEL ALIVE!
909
00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:11,800
{\an2}I feel alive.
MUSIC STOPS
910
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,040
{\an2}I'm gonna blow my whistle now.
911
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,480
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
912
00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:19,000
{\an2}Ooh!
913
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,240
{\an2}NORMAL VOICE:And scene.
LAUGHTER
914
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,320
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
915
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,080
{\an2}Do you wanna give me some back story
to your character?
916
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:33,840
{\an2}She wanted to feel alive.
She wanted to...
917
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,320
{\an2}Oh, she? Sorry. Yeah, oh, yeah.
918
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,520
{\an2}OK, yeah, sorry,
I-I may have missed that.
919
00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:39,560
{\an2}I missed that too.Yeah.
LAUGHTER
920
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,640
{\an2}But as soon as I went,
"It's alive," then I thought
921
00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:45,800
{\an2}the Frankenstein
and then I used what I've got.
922
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:48,640
{\an2}Yeah, and I think
it was the most alive,
923
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,440
{\an2}and I shall be rewarding it
handsomely.
924
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,760
{\an2}Yeah, I can vouch for that,
it was...
925
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,560
{\an2}..it was forceful.Yeah.
LAUGHTER
926
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,440
{\an2}Well, do you want some points?
927
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,440
{\an2}All right. Most alive mannequin wins.
928
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,520
{\an2}Well, we've gotta start with
the least alive mannequin,
929
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:02,560
{\an2}haven't we, Joanne?
930
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,360
{\an2}Yeah.
LAUGHTER
931
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:05,840
{\an2}So, one point to Joanne McNally.
932
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,840
{\an2}Wolfie was great...Yeah.
CHEERING
933
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,720
{\an2}..weren't she?Yeah.
CHEERING
934
00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:12,960
{\an2}No, I'm not gonna be...
935
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:15,520
{\an2}I'm not gonna be worn down
by public opinion, two points.
936
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:16,920
{\an1}AUDIENCE BOOS
937
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:18,120
{\an2}Oh, fuck you.
938
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:19,520
{\an1}LAUGHTER
939
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:22,360
{\an2}I'm tempted to give Nick
and John three points each
940
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,640
{\an2}because I have to put a gulf
between their wonderful creations
941
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,320
{\an2}and this twisted monster's.
942
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:30,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER
943
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,760
{\an2}So three to John, three to Nick and
five to Steve Pemberton.
944
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:34,960
{\an2}There it is.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
945
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,080
{\an2}Let's have a look at
the scores, then, please, Alex.
946
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:40,680
{\an2}Well, you won't believe it. In
the lead it's John with 17 points.
947
00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:41,920
{\an2}He's away again.
948
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,680
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
949
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:46,120
{\an2}Please make your way to the stage
950
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:48,840
{\an2}for the final task of the show.
951
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:50,960
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
952
00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,360
{\an2}Hi there, good boy.
Who's reading the task?
953
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:01,720
{\an2}John Robins is gonna read the task.
954
00:43:01,760 --> 00:43:06,520
{\an2}Write down a letter of
the alphabet. You have ten seconds.
955
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,120
{\an2}When I blow my whistle,
you've got ten seconds
956
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,520
{\an2}to write one letter of
the alphabet, nice and clear on it.
957
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:11,600
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
958
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,920
{\an2}OK, we have a T, L, M, B, P.
959
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:19,800
{\an8}And that's the end of the task.
960
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:21,760
{\an7}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
961
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:24,960
{\an2}Come on, you silly boy, what's
next?
962
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,840
{\an2}Right, John. There's the proper task.
963
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:31,080
{\an2}Ah. Every time Greg asks you
964
00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:33,520
{\an2}a question, you must write down
an answer.
965
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:37,800
{\an2}Last correct answer placed
on the board is eliminated.
966
00:43:37,840 --> 00:43:40,480
{\an2}Greg will ask you a question.
It will involve your letter.
967
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:41,600
{\an2}The last person to put
968
00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:43,600
{\an2}a correct answer up on the board
is eliminated.
969
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:44,960
{\an2}Gotcha. Right. OK.
970
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,960
{\an2}Well, the atmosphere is electric.
971
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,280
{\an1}LAUGHTER
972
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:51,800
{\an2}Ready?
973
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,240
{\an2}What is a country beginning with
974
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:57,400
{\an2}the letter four before yours in
the alphabet?
975
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,440
{\an2}Four before? Four before.
976
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,040
{\an8}# A, B, C, D, E, F, G,
H, I, J, K, L, M... #
977
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,400
{\an1}LAUGHTER
978
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:05,600
{\an1}SQUEAKING
979
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,080
{\an8}That is incorrect.
980
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,760
{\an8}John, that is correct.
981
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,320
{\an8}Yemen!
982
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,480
{\an2}Sophie, that is incorrect.
983
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:13,920
{\an2}Yemen? Incorrect.
984
00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,640
{\an2}Correct, Joanne.
985
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,080
{\an8}What have you written?
986
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:18,520
{\an8}Libya. Correct.
987
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,960
{\an2}It's between Nick and Sophie.
988
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,560
{\an8}What? Oh, I-I can just keep going?
Right.
989
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,360
{\an8}Yeah, yeah. What have you written?
990
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:26,440
{\an8}India. That is correct.
991
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,000
{\an2}I'm afraid we have lost
Sophie Willan. Sophie.
992
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:30,160
{\an2}AUDIENCE: Aww!
993
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,680
{\an2}The trouble is, the fourth before
hers is...
994
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:34,640
{\an2}X! ..begins with X and there are
no countries beginning with X.
995
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,800
{\an2}No countries, so actually I've been
fucked. You have been.
996
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:38,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
997
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:40,480
{\an2}Four people left
as we go to round two.
998
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,560
{\an2}What is a food beginning with
999
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:49,240
{\an2}the letter 25 letters after yours
in the alphabet?
1000
00:44:49,280 --> 00:44:53,160
{\an2}A food beginning
with the letter 25 letters...
1001
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:54,720
{\an8}Correct. He is correct.
1002
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:56,680
{\an8}That was fast. I mean...
1003
00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:58,320
{\an8}Joanne, that is incorrect.
1004
00:44:58,360 --> 00:44:59,720
{\an8}John, that is correct.
1005
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:01,720
{\an8}Olive. Correct.
1006
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:04,480
{\an2}I'm afraid we have lost
Joanne McNally.
1007
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:07,400
{\an1}APPLAUSE
1008
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:10,400
{\an2}OK, it's the three men.
1009
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:13,720
{\an2}What is something heavier than
a cat, beginning with
1010
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,760
{\an2}the letter ten letters before yours
in the alphabet?
1011
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,040
{\an2}Oh, you're fast with...
1012
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,360
{\an2}Oh, my word, Nick, correct.
1013
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:23,520
{\an2}John, incorrect.
1014
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,680
{\an2}Nick, he's like Rain Man tonight.
1015
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:29,280
{\an2}Goose? Incorrect.
1016
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,120
{\an2}Correct, John.
1017
00:45:31,160 --> 00:45:33,280
{\an2}We've lost Steve Pemberton.
We've lost Steve Pemberton.
1018
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,960
{\an2}AUDIENCE:Aww!
APPLAUSE
1019
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:41,280
{\an2}Yeah, we were looking for an F there.
1020
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,600
{\an2}OK, it's the big final.
What is a common lady's name...
1021
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:47,200
{\an1}LAUGHTER
1022
00:45:47,240 --> 00:45:48,720
{\an2}..eight letters after your letter?
1023
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:54,800
{\an2}It's Tina...
1024
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:56,880
{\an2}..and that's correct. He's done it.
1025
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,920
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1026
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,440
{\an2}Ursula just after the Tina there,
so that means
1027
00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:05,880
{\an2}the winner of the task is
Mr John Robins.
1028
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:06,920
{\an2}There it is.
1029
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,000
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1030
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,720
{\an2}Come down here and we'll add that
to the final scores.
1031
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,400
{\an2}I tell you what, series-wise,
you wouldn't believe
1032
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,800
{\an2}the effect it's had on the scores.
1033
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:23,520
{\an2}Nick's at the bottom
and John's at the top,
1034
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:25,360
{\an2}and there's only 47 points
between them.
1035
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:26,880
{\an1}LAUGHTER
1036
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,000
{\an2}You have got a chance of winning
the series still...
1037
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:31,120
{\an2}OK. ..if three people die.
1038
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:32,520
{\an1}LAUGHTER
1039
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,480
{\an2}I can do that.
LAUGHTER
1040
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:37,600
{\an2}John won the task
1041
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:41,480
{\an2}and the episode was also won
by Mr John Robins, with 22 points.
1042
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:43,520
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1043
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:46,520
{\an2}John Robins wins!
1044
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:49,720
{\an2}Please, go and squeeze your things
that were meant to please me.
1045
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:51,600
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1046
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,440
{\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media