1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:04,800 {\an2}This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:05,840 {\an2}Urgh! 3 00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:08,320 {\an2}Oh.... 4 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,360 {\an2}Whoo! 5 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:11,720 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 6 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:13,720 {\an1}SHE SCREAMS 7 00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:17,360 {\an2}Oh, you're useless at this. 8 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:20,560 {\an2}Argh! 9 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,760 {\an2}Prrp! Boop! 10 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:22,880 {\an2}Urgh! 11 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:26,280 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 12 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,160 {\an2}Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster - 13 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,920 {\an2}the answer to the question, 14 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,440 {\an2}"What if five people squandered the opportunities 15 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,400 {\an2}"afforded by parents and education 16 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,760 {\an2}"in search of a demonstrably worthless prize?" 17 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,840 {\an2}We're at the halfway point now. 18 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,160 {\an2}Literally any of the five could take the top spot. 19 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,480 {\an2}They need to work hard or, like so many of our previous winners, 20 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:59,120 {\an2}come to my dressing room with a suitcase full of quality meat. 21 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,240 {\an2}Papa likes a mixed grill! 22 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:05,240 {\an2}Let's meet them! 23 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,080 {\an2}Andy Zaltzman... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 24 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,920 {\an2}..Babatunde Aleshe... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 25 00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:13,320 {\an2}..Emma Sidi... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 26 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,120 {\an2}..Jack Dee... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 27 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,200 {\an2}..and Rosie Jones! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 28 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:19,520 {\an2}And next to me, 29 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:20,800 {\an2}a man who confided in me 30 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,960 {\an2}that he considers people who work for the Fire Service 31 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,800 {\an2}to be the least intelligent of all emergency staff... 32 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:32,360 {\an2}SINGSONG:..it's Little Alex Horne. 33 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,960 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 34 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,080 {\an2}That's right. 35 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,120 {\an2}Let's crack on with the prize task. 36 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,800 {\an2}What's the category, Little Alex Horne? 37 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,240 {\an2}Well, hey - just stop right there, mister! Ah... 38 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:45,440 {\an2}Because they've been asked to bring in 39 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,600 {\an2}the thing that is best when you add liquid to it. 40 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,800 {\an2}Jack. Hmm. 41 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,240 {\an2}What thing have you brought that if you add water to it it's good? 42 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:56,320 {\an2}I've brought in a swimming pool. So I think that that's it, isn't it? 43 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,960 {\an2}That's... It's pretty route one, yeah. And here it is... 44 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,480 {\an2}Yeah. It's in a box. 45 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,280 {\an2}Wow. I was convinced there was gonna be something funny up there. 46 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,680 {\an2}No. It's... 47 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,200 {\an2}It's literally just a... 48 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,640 {\an2}I didn't say it was going to be funny, 49 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,480 {\an2}I said it's going to be a swimming pool. 50 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,360 {\an2}Mm. Do you want see proof that it's better with liquid in it? 51 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,400 {\an2}As per the brief! 52 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:16,760 {\an2}Here we go... 53 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:17,800 {\an2}Here you go. 54 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,000 {\an2}That's how I exercise every morning. 55 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:24,840 {\an1}APPLAUSE 56 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:27,640 {\an2}That was in the winter, actually, 57 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,280 {\an2}so I was fully wetsuited up, 58 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,440 {\an2}but this morning I was naked. 59 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,960 {\an2}Impressed and turned on. 60 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,920 {\an2}Andy. Yes. 61 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,040 {\an2}Should I address the fact that you've opted to dress as a snooker player today, 62 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,120 {\an2}or shall we just sail past it? Really it's about a state of mind, 63 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:46,040 {\an2}cos I've found myself getting a little irritable in earlier shows. 64 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,440 {\an2}Yeah! Snooker teaches you - 65 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,280 {\an2}when you're not at the table, you've just got to sit there and take it. 66 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,640 {\an2}So... 67 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,760 {\an2}So I'm... 68 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,160 {\an2}I'm just... 69 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,320 {\an2}..just trying to get myself in the right frame of mind. 70 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:01,800 {\an2}Andy, what have you brought in that's good when water's in it? 71 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,800 {\an2}Powdered trampoline. Huh? Ooh! 72 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,480 {\an2}Yes, Andy's brought in a product. Yeah. 73 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,280 {\an2}It's powdered trampoline, this is the packet. 74 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,520 {\an2}I've got a range of other instant products. 75 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:17,040 {\an2}Yeah, this is the back of the packet. 76 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,960 {\an2}Here is what else is available... 77 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:23,840 {\an2}Powdered granny, powdered puppy, powdered hedge, powdered snooker... 78 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,560 {\an2}Yeah. ..powdered powder. Yes. Just in case. 79 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,680 {\an2}And it works. It does actually work. And it works... 80 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,160 {\an2}We tested it, and it does actually work. He's got... 81 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:32,760 {\an2}You've got three grannies backstage, haven't you? Yeah! 82 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,120 {\an2}It's just desiccated grandmother, but it really works. It's wonderful. 83 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:36,680 {\an2}Desiccated grandmother... 84 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,120 {\an2}Rosie. 85 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,720 {\an2}A balloon. 86 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,800 {\an2}What...? HE CHUCKLES 87 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:50,400 {\an2}A balloon with air in, even helium, whoo! 88 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,840 {\an2}But, add water... 89 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,840 {\an2}Add water... OK. Whoa. 90 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,040 {\an2}Cheeky! 91 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,360 {\an2}Also, can I show you 92 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:06,200 {\an2}the most satisfying video ever? 93 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:07,640 {\an2}Here we go, watch this. 94 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,000 {\an2}Whee! 95 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:13,520 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 96 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,240 {\an1}SPEECH INAUDIBLE 97 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:19,160 {\an2}It does get better... Yeah, exactly! ..but not MUCH better. 98 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,320 {\an2}Emma. Greg. Yes? 99 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,440 {\an2}I've brought in a portrait of you. 100 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,600 {\an2}Appeals to my ego. Great. Tick. 101 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,040 {\an2}First, type of liquid - 102 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,440 {\an2}it's watercolour pencils is the material used, 103 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,440 {\an2}so you add liquid to it, it gives a lovely effect, OK? 104 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,320 {\an2}Kind of aquarelle pencils. 105 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,320 {\an2}Secondly, the artist was drunk. 106 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:42,320 {\an2}I got my brother pissed... Your brother? Yeah. 107 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:44,280 {\an2}You added liquid to your brother? Yes. 108 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:45,960 {\an2}And made him do a portrait of you. 109 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,920 {\an2}Are you ready to see the portrait? It's promising, I've got to say. 110 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:49,960 {\an2}Here we go... 111 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,000 {\an2}Do you wanna see what he achieved sober? 112 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:57,800 {\an2}To just give you a comparison? 113 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,600 {\an2}Yes, I just would like to enjoy the accuracy... 114 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,080 {\an2}Hmm. Yeah. ..of my three big testicles. 115 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,400 {\an2}Without water, it's this. 116 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,040 {\an2}Oh... It's quite good actually. Yeah. 117 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,280 {\an2}Let's go back to pissed three balls. Yeah. 118 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,760 {\an2}Add liquid. There we are! Yeah! 119 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:15,840 {\an2}Emma, this is your strongest showing yet. Very good. 120 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,320 {\an2}Thank you. Very good. Really good. All right. 121 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,840 {\an2}Oh, Baba... All right, just take your mind back to your childhood. 122 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,360 {\an2}OK. You're sitting at home, right? OK. Yeah. 123 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,520 {\an2}And now your mum's just like, "Would you like some dessert?" 124 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:28,840 {\an2}Just for a second I thought you said, "Your mum's a slag." 125 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,640 {\an2}LAUGHING: That's what I heard. 126 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,040 {\an2}I would not say that to you, all right, Greg? 127 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,120 {\an2}Sorry. Yeah, just take, cast your mind back in the day. 128 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:37,920 {\an2}You're sitting at home, and your mum's just like... 129 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 130 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,680 {\an2}You definitely said, "Your mum's a slag" that time. 131 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,040 {\an2}Yeah. You said it again. I did not say his mum's a slag, 132 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,320 {\an2}I wouldn't say that! Did you hear it? 133 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:49,520 {\an2}Yeah, he's said it twice now, yeah. 134 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,200 {\an2}Do you wanna show them what I brought in? 135 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,680 {\an2}Baba's brought in jelly powder. 136 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,240 {\an2}Cast your mind back, yeah? Back in the day. Back in the day. OK. 137 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,080 {\an2}You're in the garden, you're running around. Yeah. 138 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,400 {\an2}One of your parents... 139 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,160 {\an2}THEY ALL LAUGH ..calls you in... 140 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,720 {\an2}QUIETLY: ..and she's a slag, and... 141 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,600 {\an2}..she says, "I've got jelly and ice cream for you." 142 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,360 {\an2}What's your reaction? 143 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,520 {\an2}All I can think is just to say, "Thank you, Mum. 144 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,760 {\an2}"Shall I call this guy uncle as well?" 145 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,360 {\an2}The time has come, Greg. 146 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,120 {\an2}All right, well I'm gonna give Baba one, 147 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,400 {\an2}and I'm sorry, Baba, because I do like jelly, 148 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:31,400 {\an2}but I think Rosie's made a good point, 149 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,680 {\an2}you can be cheeky with a balloon, and who doesn't like being cheeky? 150 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,320 {\an2}One to Baba, two to Rosie. Got it. Yes. OK. 151 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,120 {\an2}I'll congratulate Jack on keeping himself in shape, 152 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,440 {\an2}and I'll give him three points. Three points for the swimming pool. 153 00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,640 {\an2}Four to Andy, five to Emma, there it is! There we go. 154 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,880 {\an2}On we go. Task please, Alex. 155 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:50,400 {\an2}Mm-hm, right-on, Greg. 156 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,800 {\an2}And it's time to blow the budget again - uh-oh - 157 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:57,080 {\an2}because we've got an actual AI robot from Midhurst. 158 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,760 {\an2}Oh, God. 159 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,920 {\an1}HE CHUCKLES 160 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,720 {\an2}Oh, no. 161 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:42,240 {\an2}Hi, Alex. My name is Robert. 162 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,640 {\an2}Robert? Robert. 163 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,800 {\an2}Robert? Robert. 164 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,720 {\an2}Your name is Robot? Robert. Robert. 165 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,720 {\an2}Ohhh... 166 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,280 {\an2}Ah! 167 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,760 {\an2}Cheers, thank you. 168 00:07:58,440 --> 00:07:59,800 {\an2}Oh, sorry, are you...? Hi. 169 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,600 {\an2}Oh, whatever. Hello, Emma. 170 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,000 {\an2}Hello. 171 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:13,680 {\an2}Direct the robot to its charging station and plug it in. 172 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:19,040 {\an2}You must give the robot an instruction every ten seconds. 173 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,920 {\an2}The robot will ignore any instructions 174 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,440 {\an2}that contain the letters O or E. 175 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:31,200 {\an2}You may not touch the robot. 176 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,600 {\an2}Fastest wins. Your time starts now. 177 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,080 {\an2}OK. This sounds like a total pain. 178 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,200 {\an2}Do you think sometimes you've lost a bit of the joy of life? 179 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:48,200 {\an2}Even when you came in, everyone else went, 180 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,480 {\an2}"Ooh, a robot!" and you went "Hello, Alex." 181 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,520 {\an2}When I was watching it, I wrote down, 182 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:57,360 {\an2}"Emma's response to the robot was odd, ask her to explain it." 183 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,360 {\an2}It's... Ah, what would you call it? 184 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:00,640 {\an2}Oh, God. 185 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,000 {\an2}Platonic arousal? 186 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,280 {\an2}Oh, the old PA? 187 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,520 {\an2}It's like the opposite of a phobia. 188 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:10,240 {\an2}So I love, like, mascots... ROSIE CHUCKLES 189 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,480 {\an2}..Mr Blobby... Do you like the things outside petrol garages? 190 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,240 {\an2}Yeah. Absolutely love them. 191 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,000 {\an2}Big stupid things. 192 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:22,160 {\an2}Yeah. 193 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,560 {\an2}Oh... 194 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,920 {\an2}She knows I've got a degree, right? 195 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,800 {\an2}OK, I guess we should begin with a bit of android Andy 196 00:09:28,840 --> 00:09:30,600 {\an2}and robot Rosie. Here we go. Lovely. 197 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,400 {\an2}Is the charging station in here? 198 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,000 {\an2}Instruction. 199 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,880 {\an2}Turn to... 200 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,960 {\an2}No. Oh, fuck. 201 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,000 {\an2}Is it worth leaving this room? Uh, that's lots of O's. Lots of E's. 202 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:46,320 {\an2}Turn this way. 203 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,800 {\an2}Is the charging station on you somewhere? 204 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,440 {\an2}Ow...Ow. Please don't touch me. 205 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,880 {\an2}Oh, sorry, yeah, good point. 206 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,360 {\an2}Back. 207 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,160 {\an2}Yes! 208 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,480 {\an2}No. 209 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,320 {\an1}SHE SCREAMS 210 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:09,480 {\an2}Turn. Ah...ah, that's so simple. Don't touch the robot. 211 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,840 {\an2}Instruction. 212 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:16,080 {\an2}Sing. ROBOT SINGS 213 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,200 {\an2}I...I... I really need a charging... Right. Charging station. 214 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,200 {\an2}Waaaaalk. 215 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,520 {\an2}Halt! 216 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:26,680 {\an2}ROBOT SOUNDS Eat...eat this. 217 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,360 {\an1}BUZZ 218 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,560 {\an2}Where's the fucking charging station? 219 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,040 {\an2}Instruction. 220 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:39,240 {\an2}Oh, shit. If I, uh, find, uh, um, uh... 221 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:43,600 {\an2}Duck. Duck. Duck...Duck. Walk. 222 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,920 {\an2}Uh, in, um.... 223 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,640 {\an2}Charge me! 224 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,280 {\an2}Waaaaalk! 225 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:54,200 {\an2}Stairs. Staaaaaaaairs! 226 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,600 {\an2}Uh, star...star jumps. 227 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,560 {\an2}Halt. Halt. 228 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,360 {\an2}Pardon? Hello? 229 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,520 {\an2}I'll have a look outside. OK. 230 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:15,120 {\an2}WHISPERS:Fucking cocks. LAUGHTER 231 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,280 {\an2}Stairs. Ooh. 232 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,680 {\an2}Walk. 233 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,920 {\an2}Halt. 234 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,360 {\an2}Instruction, please. 235 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,360 {\an2}Oh. Oh, no. 236 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,160 {\an2}Left.No. BUZZ 237 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,960 {\an2}Uh, no. Uh, not right. Not right. Not right is right. 238 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:37,320 {\an2}Right. This is why we shouldn't trust technology. 239 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,160 {\an2}Where's the... 240 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,800 {\an2}WOOOOOOOOW! 241 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,560 {\an2}Hazard. Hazard. Hazard. Hazard. Hazard. Hazard. 242 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,800 {\an2}Right. 243 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,280 {\an2}Help!Oh, uh, hedge. BUZZ 244 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:50,360 {\an2}Uh, cow. BUZZ 245 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,200 {\an2}Halt. Turn right. 246 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:54,840 {\an2}Uh, stop, stop, stop. BUZZ 247 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,040 {\an2}I can't stop.Right. CRASH 248 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,320 {\an2}Am I charging? 249 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,640 {\an2}Yay! 250 00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,360 {\an2}Hang on, hang on. Sit, sit. 251 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:08,000 {\an2}Oh. Charging. Thank you, Andy. 252 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,600 {\an2}I would say you're welcome but they would be hollow, hollow words. 253 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,720 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 254 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,960 {\an2}When I thought, "Rosie Jones is gonna nail this task", you walked 255 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,760 {\an2}the robot away from the charging station 256 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,000 {\an2}and made it stand on a piece of cardboard. 257 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:36,760 {\an2}That looked like a solar panel. It looked like a piece of cardboard. 258 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,600 {\an2}Oh. 259 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:40,840 {\an2}Andy. Yes. 260 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,880 {\an2}The only words I could make out were "star jumps", I heard. Yeah. 261 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,240 {\an2}And then when you got outside, "Fucking cock". Yep. 262 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,760 {\an2}Sorry, just trying to stay calm here, Greg. 263 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:52,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 264 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,520 {\an2}OK. Time for Alex to stop for 265 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,720 {\an2}a few minutes of mindfulness. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. 266 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,640 {\an2}Thank you, welcome back. 267 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,920 {\an2}Here we are again, safe and sound in part two. 268 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,680 {\an2}Yeah, safe and sound here, sure. But not so safe in the house, Greg, 269 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,960 {\an2}because there's a bloody robot on the loose! 270 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,840 {\an2}Three people left. It's Emma, Baba and Jacka. 271 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,560 {\an2}Charging station. 272 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,840 {\an2}Walk. 273 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,760 {\an2}Walk at charging station. No. Why? 274 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,520 {\an2}Station. BUZZ 275 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,560 {\an2}OK. 276 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,600 {\an2}This way. 277 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,280 {\an2}This way. This way. 278 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,320 {\an2}This way.This way. 279 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:50,440 {\an2}Um, uh... Um, hang on, what, what, what. Instruction, please. 280 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:53,440 {\an2}Laugh. ROBOT LAUGHS 281 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,320 {\an2}Walk at charging plug. 282 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:58,800 {\an2}Charging plug is behind me. 283 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:05,240 {\an2}Find plu...find plug. 284 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,040 {\an2}Plug there. LAUGHTER 285 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,200 {\an2}Laugh. ROBOT LAUGHS 286 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,560 {\an2}Laugh. 287 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,200 {\an1}ROBOT LAUGHS 288 00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,240 {\an2}This way. 289 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,400 {\an2}This way. This way. 290 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:22,280 {\an2}Where's that charging station? Laugh! 291 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,000 {\an1}ROBOT LAUGHS 292 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,080 {\an2}Laugh! ROBOT LAUGHS 293 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:27,880 {\an2}Laugh! ROBOT LAUGHS 294 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,520 {\an2}Oh! 295 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,160 {\an2}Laugh! ROBOT GIGGLES 296 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,480 {\an2}I've found it, robot. OK. 297 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:36,720 {\an2}Do not touch me. 298 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,280 {\an2}Stay... Stay. 299 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,200 {\an2}I mean, you're useless at this. 300 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,480 {\an2}Thank you. 301 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,040 {\an2}Squat, squat. Squat? 302 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:49,560 {\an2}This way. This way. Yeah. Oh! 303 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,800 {\an2}Oh, I can't touch you. Ow. Oh. 304 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,280 {\an2}Crawl. 305 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,160 {\an2}Oh, my God. OK. 306 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,960 {\an1}INAUDIBLE 307 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,400 {\an2}Laugh. ROBOT LAUGHS 308 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,120 {\an2}What is this thing? 309 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,960 {\an2}Wait. Wait. 310 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,160 {\an2}There must be s... It must be out here. Pursuit. 311 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,240 {\an2}Follow... BUZZ 312 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,280 {\an2}Follow... BUZZ 313 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:15,520 {\an2}Come. BUZZ 314 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:16,800 {\an2}Move. BUZZ 315 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,840 {\an2}What, oh, walk! Walk. 316 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,480 {\an2}Where is this charging point? What, no, ah, ah! 317 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,280 {\an2}I've got it, I've got it. 318 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,360 {\an2}Turn lady, turn lady. 319 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,640 {\an2}Small. Small. Walk. 320 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,160 {\an2}Hmm. Uh, cease. BUZZ 321 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:36,000 {\an2}Uh... Um...No.Uh, uh, wait. BEEP 322 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,040 {\an2}Pursuit. Turn. 323 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,480 {\an2}This way. 324 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:43,960 {\an2}This way. 325 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,880 {\an2}Stairs. Stairs. Stairs. 326 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:48,800 {\an2}Run lady, run lady. 327 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,280 {\an2}Run!Wait. Follow. BUZZ 328 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,480 {\an8}No follow. Oh. 329 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:54,760 {\an2}Left, left. BUZZ 330 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,320 {\an2}I can't go left. Wait... Wait! 331 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:57,440 {\an2}I can't go left. 332 00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,640 {\an2}What are you doing? I can't go left. 333 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,960 {\an2}Pursuit. Quick. Quick. 334 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:05,320 {\an2}Run my lady. Run my lady. 335 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,840 {\an2}This way, this way, this way, this way, this way. 336 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:11,520 {\an2}Wait. Turn. Wait. 337 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,120 {\an2}Laugh. ROBOT GIGGLES 338 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,840 {\an2}Oh. Oh. Ooh. Ooh! 339 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,200 {\an2}You charging? Charging. 340 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,240 {\an2}Brrrap! 341 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,920 {\an2}Thank you. You're welcome. 342 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,680 {\an1}APPLAUSE 343 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:32,160 {\an2}This is the only task where I...I was gonna... 344 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,080 {\an2}I don't feel good saying this. Oh, my God. This is so not my character. 345 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,640 {\an2}I was gonna floor that robot. 346 00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,680 {\an2}That didn't come across at all. It didn't because I hide it so well. 347 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,960 {\an2}Jack, did you enjoy that? You looked quite annoyed by the robot. 348 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,880 {\an2}It was annoying. I'd forgotten which vowels you couldn't use. 349 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,520 {\an2}But you settled on one instruction, in the end. Pursuit. 350 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,240 {\an2}Which is quite strange. It is, it is. 351 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,240 {\an2}But it did work, actually, it did work. 352 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,240 {\an2}Jack really laughed hard when 353 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:01,560 {\an2}the robot revealed his charging station was near his bottom. 354 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,000 {\an2}Do you want the times? Tell me some times. 355 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,640 {\an2}Well, Andy, 21 minutes. Rosie, 16:40. 356 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,520 {\an2}Jack was nine minutes, three seconds, 357 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,280 {\an2}Baba, seven minutes, 39. But Emma, six minutes, 56. 358 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,880 {\an2}Five points to Emma Sidi. APPLAUSE 359 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,320 {\an2}What's that done to the scores, Alex? 360 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,320 {\an2}Well, I can tell you this. She's not won an episode 361 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:20,680 {\an2}yet. She's the only one who hasn't. 362 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,000 {\an2}But Emma is in the lead with ten points. Whoa! 363 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,680 {\an1}APPLAUSE 364 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,440 {\an2}What. Is. Next? 365 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,640 {\an2}I. Can. Tell. You. 366 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:35,640 {\an2}I'm afraid the cast have created quite the stink. Ooh. 367 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,480 {\an2}Oh! Sorry. Sorry. 368 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,280 {\an2}Hello, Emma. Hello. How are you? 369 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:57,320 {\an2}Hi, Alex. 370 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,520 {\an2}It's good to see you using the bat, finally. 371 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,360 {\an2}Well, you never know, do you? 372 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:04,920 {\an2}OK. Oh... 373 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:12,080 {\an2}Make the strongest smell. 374 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,720 {\an2}The strongest smell. 375 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:18,600 {\an2}You must seal your smell in this jar... 376 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,640 {\an2}..and the Taskmaster will open it in the studio. 377 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,560 {\an2}You have 20 minutes. 378 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,840 {\an2}Your time starts now. 379 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,080 {\an2}You want me to fart in it? 380 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,240 {\an2}Ha-ha-ha. I'm not gonna do that. 381 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:38,840 {\an2}I'm sorry what I'm about to do. LAUGHTER 382 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,440 {\an2}Make the strongest smell. OK, uh, yeah, so strongest smell 383 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,440 {\an2}but not nastiest smell. 384 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,400 {\an2}So it could be a nice smell. 385 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,200 {\an2}Right, well, I'm gonna go and look. 386 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,560 {\an2}I mean there's all these air fresheners here. 387 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:51,600 {\an2}There's that. 388 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,920 {\an2}But that's probably got a battery in it. 389 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,960 {\an2}If that's just constantly squirting stuff out... 390 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:02,360 {\an2}I don't want to ming him out. Do you know what I mean? 391 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,240 {\an2}Milk. 392 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:08,760 {\an2}Imagine that in three months. 393 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,840 {\an2}We're gonna make magic here, Alex. 394 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,400 {\an2}Bit of science going on there, by the looks of it. 395 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,560 {\an2}It's growing... Yeah. Meant to be growing? 396 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,400 {\an2}We'll let it grow if it wants to grow. 397 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,840 {\an2}Ooh, that's strong. 398 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,000 {\an2}What do you think? Can you smell it yet? 399 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,840 {\an2}It's quite subtle, isn't it? 400 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,240 {\an2}Shit. 401 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:43,840 {\an2}This is gonna be absolutely foul. 402 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,720 {\an2}Let's shake it. Oh, Jesus. 403 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,440 {\an2}I hope you like Marmite, fam. 404 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,440 {\an2}Mmm. Urgh. No? Swear down? Uh, I don't mind it. I can... 405 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,080 {\an2}No, bro. Like, live your truth. If you like it, you like it, bro. 406 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,360 {\an2}Well, I can take it or leave it. 407 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,280 {\an2}That's lovely. It's not that strong. 408 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,680 {\an2}He's gonna have the shock of his life, boy. 409 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:09,320 {\an2}I think that one's...that one's a bit stronger. 410 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,880 {\an2}You are putting in some things that get rid of stubborn smells. 411 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,880 {\an2}Uh, I hadn't really thought of that. 412 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:18,680 {\an2}That's probably the best idea anyone would've had. 413 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,000 {\an2}Cos everyone else'll be going out finding smelly stuff 414 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:26,600 {\an2}to put in the jar. Not you. Not me. No. I'm a...I'm in my own league. 415 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,600 {\an2}That's for you, my guy. 416 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,240 {\an2}You finished, have you? Yeah. 417 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,280 {\an2}OK. 418 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:33,760 {\an2}Oh, that's coming up lovely. 419 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,080 {\an2}Where's my grater? 420 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,040 {\an2}It's quite nice. 421 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,520 {\an2}Does... It's not... It doesn't smell of anything, does it? 422 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,880 {\an2}I think you're gonna need to seal that up in the next four seconds. 423 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,320 {\an2}Oh, right. I've gotta s... 424 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,280 {\an2}WHISTLE BLOWS Can I shake it? 425 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:53,080 {\an2}I'm not sure that's wise. Right. 426 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,520 {\an1}APPLAUSE 427 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:00,560 {\an2}As if by magic, this has appeared. 428 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,040 {\an2}Underneath each pictured sheath is their jar. 429 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,160 {\an2}The thing is, though, Greg, 430 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,160 {\an2}do you think some people are more observant than others? 431 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,680 {\an2}Yes. Well, I do wanna show you this. 432 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,360 {\an2}All right. 433 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,960 {\an2}Make the strongest smell. 434 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,080 {\an2}Oh! 435 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:15,920 {\an2}Oh. 436 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,720 {\an2}You must smell your smell in the studio before 437 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,880 {\an2}the Taskmaster smells your smell. 438 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,160 {\an2}LAUGHTER If you refuse to smell your smell 439 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,480 {\an2}the Taskmaster will not smell your smell 440 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,760 {\an2}and you will receive zero points. 441 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,840 {\an2}So is that to sort of... 442 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:34,440 {\an2}..discourage poos? LAUGHTER 443 00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,560 {\an2}No, we didn't put that in to discourage poos. 444 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,720 {\an2}You can still p...poo in it if you want. 445 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,800 {\an2}I should probably say at this point, we have run this by lawyers 446 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,480 {\an2}and scientists. Wow. 447 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,000 {\an2}And they do say, when smelling the jars, it shouldn't be 448 00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,240 {\an2}a deep breath, a shortish sniff is the best option. 449 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,520 {\an2}They also shouldn't be sticking their nose right into 450 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,000 {\an2}the glass jar. It is just strongest smell. 451 00:21:58,040 --> 00:21:59,680 {\an2}That's all we want. Strongest. Strongest, right. 452 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:01,640 {\an2}So it doesn't have to be foulest. Yeah, strongest smell. 453 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,280 {\an2}You monster. LAUGHTER 454 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:09,600 {\an2}Honestly, about every other day, 455 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,280 {\an2}I've been thinking about it. 456 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 457 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:18,160 {\an2}I'm really excited. 458 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,520 {\an2}Rosie called it eggy-milky-cheesy surprise. 459 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,160 {\an2}The only surprise is gonna be, 460 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,840 {\an2}as well as puking, am I gonna shit myself? 461 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,320 {\an2}Yeah. 462 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:30,920 {\an2}Let's start with the person who knew the right thing 463 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:34,680 {\an2}to do. So, Emma, please step behind your sheath. 464 00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,280 {\an2}So, what you're gonna do, Emma, is unsheathe your jar 465 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,120 {\an2}and then put your sheath... LAUGHTER 466 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:41,840 {\an2}It's clearly a cardboard box. 467 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,520 {\an2}You're gonna...you're gonna put your pictured sheath behind your jar. 468 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:48,040 {\an2}Lovely. And then pop your jar on top of your pictured sheath. 469 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,280 {\an2}That's perfect. That should be about the right height and angle. 470 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,880 {\an2}Sheath, jar, sniff. 471 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:53,080 {\an2}Sniff and shut. 472 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,680 {\an2}Ah, yeah, that was bloody strong. 473 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:00,760 {\an2}Thank you, Emma. 474 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:05,760 {\an2}All right, this is gonna set the bar. It's perfume, tea and fruit. 475 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,640 {\an2}At best, mild. 476 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,360 {\an2}Happy with that. 477 00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,200 {\an2}Genuinely spa-like. I feel relaxed. 478 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,520 {\an2}Great, yeah, yeah. 479 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,120 {\an2}OK, Baba. You're up next. 480 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,200 {\an2}Baba, everybody. Lovely. 481 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:27,640 {\an2}OK. That looks evil. 482 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:31,920 {\an2}Yeah. 483 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 484 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,120 {\an2}I was gonna say we didn't know if he'd breathed in or out there 485 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,720 {\an2}but I think we know. 486 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:41,080 {\an2}I feel light-headed. 487 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,120 {\an2}I thought Baba was disappointed initially, 488 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,680 {\an2}and then I thought his eyes were actually going to come out. 489 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,600 {\an2}Yeah. 490 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,880 {\an2}It's got a bit of power to it, all right. 491 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,480 {\an2}Did you...did you get the Marmite? 492 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:57,840 {\an2}I felt that broke through. 493 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,320 {\an2}I can smell Marmite from here. Yeah. 494 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,040 {\an2}That was unpleasant. 495 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,920 {\an2}E...Emma's was like wandering around a Laura Ashley shop. 496 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,480 {\an2}Right. Let's stop for a break and to counteract 497 00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:13,200 {\an2}the mindless consumerism you're about to watch, some Shakespeare. 498 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,400 {\an2}If thou wert my fool 499 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:18,760 {\an2}I'd have thee beaten for being old before thy time. 500 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,440 {\an2}How's that? 501 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:24,320 {\an2}Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst been wise. 502 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:31,280 {\an2}O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven! I would not be mad. 503 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,680 {\an2}Keep me in temper. I would not be mad. 504 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,720 {\an2}All right, you can go and buy an air fryer now. 505 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,800 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, again! 506 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,880 {\an2}You join us for the third part of the show, 507 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,000 {\an2}where more jars are waiting to be opened. 508 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,600 {\an2}Remember, it's the strongest smell we're after, 509 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,240 {\an2}so here we go with our next one. 510 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,200 {\an2}Shall we see if Jones comes up smelling of Rosies? 511 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,440 {\an2}Well... Yeah! 512 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,960 {\an2}We do need to say, with the next three, 513 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,360 {\an2}if you could not be quite as close to the smell. 514 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,680 {\an2}LAUGHTER OK.Jesus Christ. 515 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:16,560 {\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS 516 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,960 {\an2}It retained its colour. 517 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,000 {\an2}Ahh! LAUGHTER 518 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,800 {\an2}This is top ten 519 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,200 {\an2}moments of my life. 520 00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 521 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,160 {\an2}And now, you can go. 522 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,280 {\an2}Fine. 523 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 524 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,760 {\an2}I quite like it! 525 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,520 {\an2}Right, OK, you go up. Thank you Rosie. Ah. 526 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,720 {\an1}APPLAUSE 527 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,400 {\an2}Oh, I thought that would be worse. 528 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:53,880 {\an2}Well, it's been airtight for 14 weeks, so... Yeah. 529 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,880 {\an2}JACK: Yeah, you're right not to trust, I think. 530 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,320 {\an2}I don't trust her. A wise move. Go on! 531 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,360 {\an2}And the reason I'm dragging this out a bit is I just want to wait 532 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:02,960 {\an2}to see if you puke up. 533 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER 534 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,920 {\an2}Oh. LAUGHTER 535 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,960 {\an2}I'm annoyed. 536 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,560 {\an2}Oh, this is has backfired. Yeah. 537 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:15,600 {\an2}My God, it's... 538 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,400 {\an2}I actually think this smells less than...Emma's flower shop. 539 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,280 {\an2}OK, well, it's Jack next with his air freshener. 540 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,000 {\an2}We do have to read a word of warning 541 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,680 {\an2}about this highly-pressurised jar first of all. 542 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,480 {\an2}Do not ingest, avoid contact with eyes, skin and clothing, 543 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,840 {\an2}avoid breathing gas, avoid breathing vapour or mist, 544 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,240 {\an2}use only with adequate ventilation. 545 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,640 {\an2}Good luck, Jack. Good. 546 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 547 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,720 {\an2}This has gotta be dangerous, hasn't it? OK. 548 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,040 {\an2}EMMA: Ooh! 549 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:55,880 {\an2}Ooh, it popped, all right. That's lively, innit? Yeah. 550 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,080 {\an2}Well, it-it smells like a disgusting air freshener. 551 00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,360 {\an2}It's come here straight away. 552 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,320 {\an2}Yeah. There it is. Y-Yeah. 553 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,520 {\an2}Did you get the cool elegance of fine linen? 554 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,560 {\an1}LAUGHTER 555 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,360 {\an2}Oh! LAUGHTER 556 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,040 {\an2}That is unpleasant. 557 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,240 {\an2}Ooh, that's like my nan's come back to life. 558 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 559 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,680 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 560 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:23,600 {\an2}OK. Good. One left - finally... 561 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,080 {\an1}JACK SNORTS 562 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,160 {\an2}Ooh, that has made me feel a bit funny, actually. 563 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:29,920 {\an2}Are you all right? LAUGHTER 564 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,840 {\an2}OK, one left - finally, with a blend of mouthwash, de-icer, 565 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,680 {\an2}oven cleaner, raspberry bath pearls, 566 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,000 {\an2}stain remover, malt vinegar, cider vinegar, moisturising cream, 567 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,160 {\an2}vague alcohol liquid, grated wellies, hair wax, 568 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:43,240 {\an2}eight dishwasher tablets, flowers, a brain candle, sardines, 569 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:45,720 {\an2}and a goblin fart, it's Andy Zaltzman! 570 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 571 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,920 {\an2}Oh, bloody hell! AUDIENCE GROANS 572 00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,520 {\an2}Oh, that looks like something. 573 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER 574 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:02,280 {\an2}C-Count to three. 575 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,240 {\an2}ROSIE: Ah. 576 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,200 {\an2}EMMA GASPS Oh! 577 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:12,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 578 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,400 {\an2}EMMA: That's awful! JACK: That's... 579 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,400 {\an2}..that's how I'm going to remember you. 580 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:21,880 {\an1}LAUGHTER 581 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,280 {\an2}Oh. Close it. 582 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,040 {\an2}Oh, get fucked! 583 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:29,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 584 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:30,920 {\an1}GREG GROANS 585 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,560 {\an2}Ah, that is unpleasant. Yeah, that's not nice. 586 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:35,440 {\an2}That is unholy, actually! 587 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:37,960 {\an2}Really unusual. Really unusual mix. 588 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,720 {\an2}But I'm not marking it on grossness. 589 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:41,600 {\an2}I'm marking it on strength, aren't I? Strength. 590 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,560 {\an2}Strength of smell. Your delicious yoghurty breakfast 591 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,640 {\an2}barely smelt at all. Yeah! 592 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,480 {\an2}So, that's one point to Rosie. I'm afraid so, yeah. 593 00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:53,280 {\an2}Next up, it was Emma's delightful stroll through the countryside. 594 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,720 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah. So, two to Emma. 595 00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,000 {\an2}Yeah. Proudly take that. 596 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:58,120 {\an2}And then, in terms of strength - 597 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,600 {\an2}if there were style points - Andy would win, 598 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,040 {\an2}cos it's one of the worst smells I've ever smelt. 599 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:04,520 {\an2}But, in terms of the power... 600 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:05,800 {\an2}The power. 601 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,200 {\an2}..Andy would be three points. Oh! 602 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,160 {\an2}And then, Baba's Marmite and coffee would be four, 603 00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,800 {\an2}and the most powerful smell - if that's what I'm judging on, 604 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:16,360 {\an2}strength of smell... Which it is. ..would be Jack Dee. 605 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,040 {\an2}Well, there we go, five points to 100 cans of air freshener! 606 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,920 {\an2}Jack Dee! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 607 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,320 {\an2}I'd very much like another task, please, Alex. 608 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,120 {\an2}And finally. 609 00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,560 {\an2}ROSIE: Ooh! Lovely. 610 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,560 {\an2}Hello. Hello! 611 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,200 {\an2}Hi, Alex. You all right? 612 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,040 {\an2}Yes, I am. Yeah, nice to see you both. Good. 613 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,200 {\an2}Matching outfits. 614 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER 615 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:55,360 {\an2}EMMA: Shall I open it? 616 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,240 {\an2}Yeah, you have to. All right. 617 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,000 {\an2}You well? 618 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,640 {\an2}Adequate. 619 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:08,120 {\an2}"Present the most heart-warming final story 620 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:13,560 {\an2}"for a local news programme. 621 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,000 {\an2}"You have half an hour, 622 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,880 {\an2}"and your story must last no more than two minutes. 623 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,480 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 624 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:25,200 {\an2}Has the story got to be true? 625 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,880 {\an2}What, do you want to go and do some actual journalism? 626 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,480 {\an2}Out there. Yeah. 627 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,440 {\an2}We could just go out there and... Find a person. 628 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,880 {\an2}HE CHUCKLES ..find a person, yeah. 629 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:38,200 {\an2}Could be barbequing some actual hearts? 630 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,280 {\an2}That would be literally heart-warming? 631 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,600 {\an2}LAUGHTER There's something in it. 632 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,640 {\an1}It's usually that thing, you know, 633 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,640 {\an2}"And finally, a baby panda has been born." 634 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,800 {\an2}Babies are cute. 635 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,640 {\an2}Not everyone likes babies that much. 636 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,560 {\an2}Usually, things like puppies and stuff are more... Yeah. 637 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:57,480 {\an2}You know, they're more heart-warming, aren't they? Yeah. 638 00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,600 {\an2}BABA: Local animal that's given birth. 639 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:01,760 {\an2}Birth is always, you know... Well, birth is good. 640 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:03,120 {\an2}That is beautiful. Birth is good. 641 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,400 {\an2}Well, there's giving birth to something unexpected. 642 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,120 {\an2}The gerbil that gave birth to a car. 643 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:08,720 {\an2}Aw! 644 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,120 {\an2}Well, the news broadcast starts in 27 minutes. 645 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,120 {\an2}Nice one. Let's do it, let's go. Come on. 646 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,720 {\an1}APPLAUSE 647 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:21,920 {\an2}You get asked to think of a heart-warming story, 648 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:25,040 {\an2}Zaltzman says, "What if we burn a heart?" 649 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:28,000 {\an2}And Jack Dee crashes in with, "Not everyone likes babies." 650 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 651 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,600 {\an2}Let's see these news teams in action. OK. 652 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,920 {\an2}It's time to switch over now to Croydon Today, 653 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:36,080 {\an2}with Anna, Baba, and Emma. 654 00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,760 {\an2}EMMA: Unfortunately, the largest of the crocodiles 655 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:40,080 {\an2}is still at large. 656 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,160 {\an2}And finally, some heart-warming local news now! 657 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,680 {\an2}We meet the local woman who is potentially about to become 658 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,680 {\an2}the oldest winner of the Tour de France. 659 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER 660 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,600 {\an2}Mrs Isabella Cratchington 661 00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,960 {\an2}is on track to win the coveted yellow jersey. 662 00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:56,280 {\an2}We join our cycling correspondent Gogo Jenkins as he finds out 663 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,480 {\an2}how she's getting along. Gogo? 664 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,880 {\an2}Gogo? 665 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,680 {\an2}Gogo Jenkins, are you there? 666 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,160 {\an8}Gogo, mate? Gogo. 667 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,480 {\an2}Hi, Sophie! LAUGHTER 668 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,080 {\an2}Er, yeah. I'm here at the Champs Elysees, in Paris, 669 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,560 {\an2}where the atmosphere is tense 670 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:17,320 {\an2}as we await what could potentially be the oldest person to compete 671 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,120 {\an2}and win the Tour de France. 672 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,760 {\an2}Now, this tournament has been full of ups and downs - oh! 673 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,400 {\an2}I can confirm Isabella is our new champion! 674 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:28,160 {\an2}Now, there will be doping checks - 675 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:31,120 {\an8}which, in this case, she most likely will fail. 676 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:32,640 {\an2}Hi, I'm here with the winner of 677 00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:34,920 {\an2}the Tour de France, Isabella Cratchington. 678 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:37,080 {\an2}Isabella, what was your strategy? 679 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,400 {\an2}Well, to get to the end, erm, 680 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,280 {\an2}in a shorter time than everyone else. 681 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,080 {\an2}Now, Isabella, I have to ask you, 682 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:45,880 {\an2}what are your thoughts on performance-enhancing drugs 683 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:47,000 {\an2}in this competition? 684 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,440 {\an2}Erm, w-well, er, 685 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,520 {\an2}I would say that it's never been proved, has it? 686 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:55,840 {\an2}Yes, no proo...it's hearsay, and it's, er, it's fine. 687 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,600 {\an2}Thank you very much. Back to you at the studio. 688 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,600 {\an2}Gogo, er, I know that woman. 689 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,520 {\an2}And I know for a fact 690 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,280 {\an2}that she should not be there. 691 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:07,800 {\an2}That's all from us. 692 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,760 {\an2}Have a lovely weekend, and do remember that the new volcano 693 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,240 {\an2}will erupt on Saturday at 7pm. 694 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,160 {\an2}LAUGHTER Stay safe, bye-bye. 695 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,560 {\an1}APPLAUSE 696 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,480 {\an2}It was very good. Very good. 697 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,240 {\an2}EMMA: I think Andy was very - 698 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,080 {\an2}you were, sort of, very inspired by this story and... 699 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,080 {\an2}Yeah, I've taken up road cycling, 700 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,040 {\an2}and I've won the Tour de France myself. 701 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,400 {\an2}Have you? Yeah. 702 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,640 {\an2}I think that Isabella Cratchington looks younger than Andy. 703 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:35,120 {\an1}LAUGHTER 704 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,680 {\an2}That's probably the blood doping. 705 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,360 {\an2}You know, does wonders. 706 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,280 {\an2}We don't generally see real news anchors going, 707 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,320 {\an2}"There's more I can tell you about that, but I won't." 708 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,920 {\an2}LAUGHTER Yeah, they don't say it with words. 709 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:51,000 {\an2}But they do say it with their eyes, Greg. Do they? 710 00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,240 {\an2}Fiona Bruce definitely says that with her eyes. Absolutely. 711 00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,280 {\an2}Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough. Well. Hmm. 712 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,040 {\an2}Not a bad start. Shall we have a break, 713 00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,640 {\an2}and then, see the other one? OK. 714 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,040 {\an2}In the final part of the show, 715 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,400 {\an2}the usual quality of prizes are there to be won. 716 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,160 {\an2}Jelly powder and some desiccated trampoline. 717 00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:07,040 {\an2}Or, as my nan liked to call it, 718 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,000 {\an2}"ration book trifle." LAUGHTER 719 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,080 {\an2}We'll see you in a bit. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 720 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:22,880 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yes, hello! 721 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,120 {\an2}Welcome back to the final part of Taskmaster, 722 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,480 {\an2}where there are some local news stations 723 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,400 {\an2}wrapping up their shows with a final heart-warming story. 724 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,840 {\an2}Bang-on, big bum! 725 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,720 {\an2}And we end with a fresh look for anchor Jack Dee 726 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,920 {\an2}and his roving reporter, Rosie Jones. 727 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,080 {\an2}Makes you think, doesn't it? 728 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:43,600 {\an2}People like that make me sick. 729 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,400 {\an2}LAUGHTER And finally - viewers may recall 730 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:49,120 {\an2}the story of Harold the lonely hedgehog, 731 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:51,400 {\an2}who was found at a bus stop in Lewisham 732 00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,520 {\an2}crying real tears of loneliness. 733 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,840 {\an2}Many of you viewers have been in touch asking for an update 734 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:58,000 {\an2}on Harold's progress - 735 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,720 {\an8}and I'm happy to report that Rosie Jones, 736 00:35:00,760 --> 00:35:04,480 {\an2}our roaming reporter, has some heart-warming news. 737 00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:05,880 {\an2}Rosie. 738 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,440 {\an8}Thanks, Jack! 739 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:11,280 {\an8}I'm not in a lovely, warm 740 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,280 {\an2}studio like you are. 741 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:18,080 {\an2}I'm doing the REAL work. 742 00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:25,040 {\an2}Harold the hedgehog has met a friend! 743 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:28,880 {\an2}Harold and Roger have bonded... 744 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:34,640 {\an2}JACK SIGHS ..over their mutual love of leaves, 745 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,960 {\an2}mud, and cricket. 746 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 747 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:45,120 {\an2}Back to our own prickly hedgehog 748 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:48,800 {\an2}in the studio, Jack! 749 00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:50,040 {\an2}Thanks, Rosie. 750 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,200 {\an2}Not sure I'm really actually that prickly. 751 00:35:52,240 --> 00:35:54,160 {\an2}But anyway, thank you for joining us. 752 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,200 {\an2}I hope you found that a heart-warming story. 753 00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:57,400 {\an2}I know we certainly did. 754 00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:59,840 {\an2}Thanks to Rosie Jones there, out in the field. 755 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,320 {\an2}Join us again same time tomorrow on Look Out. 756 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,160 {\an2}I'm Jack Dee, and that's all that matters. 757 00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:06,560 {\an2}What you do mean "prickly"? 758 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,280 {\an2}You are. 759 00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 760 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,000 {\an2}I like that look. 761 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:19,440 {\an2}What I couldn't really get past is the joke right at the top, 762 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,360 {\an2}where Alex Horne is shown, 763 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,600 {\an2}and there's some suggestion that 764 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,440 {\an2}Alex is an on-the-run sex criminal. 765 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:29,000 {\an1}THEY LAUGH 766 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,800 {\an2}And I enjoyed that joke very much. 767 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,960 {\an2}But then, when I saw the news anchor, 768 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,400 {\an2}I did think there was some degree of irony there. 769 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 770 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,320 {\an2}I'd have that man arrested based on looks alone. 771 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,960 {\an2}There seemed to be some sort of tension between 772 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,520 {\an2}your two characters, Rosie. 773 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:53,760 {\an2}Yeah, basically, I've been wanting Jack's job for years, 774 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,560 {\an2}but he won't fucking retire. 775 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 776 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,960 {\an2}I had no idea there was such a... Yeah. 777 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,800 {\an2}..complicated dynamic. Yes. 778 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:09,320 {\an2}The dynamic is a programme where two people have to work together 779 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:11,800 {\an2}every day, but absolutely loathe each other. 780 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:14,720 {\an2}I can't remember where I got the idea from, but it was... 781 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 782 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,120 {\an2}That's all a smokescreen. Hmm. 783 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,320 {\an2}We are lovers. 784 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER 785 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:25,840 {\an2}Well, I enjoyed them both. Yeah. 786 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,760 {\an2}I think there's one point in between the two teams. OK. 787 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,280 {\an2}I preferred the old lady. 788 00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:31,480 {\an2}All right. 789 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,600 {\an2}How many points do you want to give that team? Four. 790 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,440 {\an2}And this team? Three. Done. There we go, everybody! 791 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,960 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 792 00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:42,880 {\an2}Hey, let's have a quick look at the scores. 793 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,680 {\an2}OK, well, in the series, it's tight - 794 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,880 {\an2}just 12 points separating the five of them. 795 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:49,800 {\an2}Rosie's on 67, Emma 72, 796 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:52,760 {\an2}Andy also 72, Baba's in second place on 75. 797 00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,960 {\an2}Jack's in the lead on 79 at the moment. Oh! 798 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,600 {\an2}But today's leaderboard, she's still in the lead now, on 16 points, 799 00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,760 {\an2}Emma Sidi's in first place. Oh! 800 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,520 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 801 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,240 {\an2}Exciting stuff. OK, please head up to the stage 802 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,760 {\an2}for the final task of the show! 803 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,520 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 804 00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,000 {\an2}Hey, you. Hmm? 805 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,560 {\an2}Who's reading the task out today? 806 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,640 {\an2}Ronnie O'Sulli... Andy, Andy Zaltzman. 807 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,120 {\an1}LAUGHTER 808 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,960 {\an2}"Land your skydiver closest to the seal. 809 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:31,520 {\an2}"You must catapult your skydiver with the catapult. 810 00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,640 {\an2}"Furthest from the target each round is eliminated. 811 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,200 {\an2}"Last player standing wins." 812 00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,560 {\an2}OK, first up, she's in the lead, it's Emma Sidi. 813 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,160 {\an2}Please approach the catapult. 814 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,360 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 815 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,280 {\an2}EMMA: OK. Let's dance. 816 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:47,600 {\an2}Oh! 817 00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:48,760 {\an1}CHEERING 818 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:54,000 {\an2}We'll be measuring from the little skydiver, not the parachute, 819 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,840 {\an2}so that's in the second red - not bad. Jack Dee's up next. 820 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,640 {\an2}IN WEAK FRENCH ACCENT: Good luck, my friend. 821 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,840 {\an2}Ah, French resistance. 822 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:03,280 {\an1}JACK CHUCKLES 823 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,640 {\an1}AUDIENCE OOHS APPLAUSE 824 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,480 {\an8}Lovely action. Lovely landing. 825 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,440 {\an2}Jack - Jack is safely through to round two. 826 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,720 {\an2}Next up, Baba. Good luck. 827 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,040 {\an2}A-A lovely action. 828 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,800 {\an2}Whoa. Lovely. Whoa! He's going for it. 829 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,480 {\an2}Whoa! AUDIENCE GASPS 830 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,880 {\an2}Yes! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 831 00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,080 {\an2}Andy Zaltzman! 832 00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,800 {\an2}The commitment to holding the cue is incredible. 833 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,080 {\an2}Zaltzman. 834 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,080 {\an2}AUDIENCE GASPS It's high!Ooh! 835 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,840 {\an1}APPLAUSE 836 00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,120 {\an2}Andy, you're in trouble - unless Rosie Jones does worse. 837 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,280 {\an2}Good luck, Rosie. 838 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:48,360 {\an2}I'll say it before you all say it. 839 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,160 {\an2}I'm going to be shit. 840 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,720 {\an1}LAUGHTER 841 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:55,840 {\an2}Right in the fucking face. 842 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,840 {\an1}LAUGHTER CHEERING 843 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,640 {\an1}APPLAUSE 844 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,520 {\an2}Andy is eliminated! 845 00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:07,760 {\an2}JACK: Poor Andy. Poor Andy. 846 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:09,240 {\an1}But it's round two, Greg, hello! 847 00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:10,280 {\an2}Hello, there! 848 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,680 {\an2}It's Emma up first, of course. 849 00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,200 {\an2}Emma, please reapproach the catapult. 850 00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:15,240 {\an2}Emma - all to play for, for Emma Sidi. 851 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:16,960 {\an2}Lovely. Oh. 852 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,800 {\an2}Lovely. Lovely! Good! 853 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,200 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 854 00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:24,720 {\an2}Jack, you're up next. 855 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,200 {\an2}Is the little man actually on the seal? 856 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,160 {\an2}It's unbelievable. Almost, yeah. Ah. 857 00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:30,560 {\an2}Good land, Emma Sidi. He's breathing! 858 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER 859 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,720 {\an2}He is...he is breathing! 860 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,800 {\an8}Ooh...ooh. AUDIENCE GASPS 861 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,880 {\an1}APPLAUSE 862 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,480 {\an2}He's in trouble. 863 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,200 {\an2}Baba, you're up next, if you want to approach the catapult. 864 00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:53,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 865 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:55,120 {\an2}Very flat. 866 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,160 {\an2}Oh, Baba, that's controversial. 867 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,960 {\an7}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 868 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,680 {\an7}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 869 00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:07,280 {\an1}APPLAUSE CONTINUES 870 00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:10,520 {\an1}Well, you've got a chance, Rosie. 871 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,520 {\an2}You've got to not hit an audience member 872 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,160 {\an2}to get through to the next round. 873 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,760 {\an2}I might as well sit here, bro. JACK: All right, yeah. 874 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,720 {\an2}ROSIE: I'm going to kill you lot. 875 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:20,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 876 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,040 {\an2}The guy with the eye out. 877 00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:27,000 {\an2}She's through! 878 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,560 {\an1}APPLAUSE 879 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,400 {\an2}Emma, it's round three. 880 00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:34,800 {\an2}If you get through this, you're in the final. 881 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:36,200 {\an2}EMMA: Right. Come on, Em. 882 00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:37,640 {\an2}I'm doing this for the brunettes. 883 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:39,200 {\an2}Yeah, baby! 884 00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:41,000 {\an2}AUDIENCE WHOOPS Oh. 885 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,560 {\an2}Ohh! AUDIENCE GASPS 886 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:46,520 {\an1}APPLAUSE 887 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,600 {\an2}The heights you've fallen from - you were on the wood last time. 888 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,520 {\an2}Shut up. LAUGHTER 889 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,000 {\an2}Jack, you're on next. Good, luck Jack. Here we go. 890 00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:54,200 {\an2}ROSIE: Ha! 891 00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:56,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER 892 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:57,800 {\an2}I told you. Void it! 893 00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,800 {\an2}That's gamesmanship, I'm sorry, that. 894 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,320 {\an2}You're doing it legs first. 895 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:06,080 {\an2}Put his legs first, yeah. Legs first, I'm trying. 896 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,480 {\an2}That's going to take someone's eye out. Oh! 897 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,360 {\an1}APPLAUSE 898 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,280 {\an2}Jack is in the final. 899 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,440 {\an2}Rosie, will you join him? Tense. 900 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,200 {\an2}Ah. Right. 901 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:23,320 {\an2}Come on, you bugger. 902 00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,720 {\an2}Or two. 903 00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,480 {\an2}Yeah. APPLAUSE 904 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,080 {\an2}We have our finalists. We've lost Emma Sidi! 905 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:40,080 {\an2}I would say, "Good luck, Jacky," 906 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:44,560 {\an2}and if you want to beat me, 907 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,160 {\an2}a disabled girl... 908 00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,360 {\an1}LAUGHTER 909 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:53,080 {\an2}..you do you. 910 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:58,320 {\an2}And so, is it compassion or victory that's more important to Jack? 911 00:42:58,360 --> 00:42:59,760 {\an2}Well, let's find out. 912 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,400 {\an2}Clearly victory. 913 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,200 {\an1}APPLAUSE 914 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:10,520 {\an2}EMMA: Come on, Rosie. 915 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,360 {\an1}AUDIENCE CHEERS 916 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:13,960 {\an2}Oh, fuck. 917 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,560 {\an1}LAUGHTER 918 00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:21,160 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 919 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:25,480 {\an1}AUDIENCE GASPS 920 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:28,960 {\an2}Who do blue...? Blue first. 921 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:31,040 {\an2}Peel blue, yeah. Wait and see. 922 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:32,200 {\an2}Oh, my God. 923 00:43:32,240 --> 00:43:35,160 {\an2}And there he is, just on the edge of red. 924 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:36,440 {\an2}Jack wins! 925 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,880 {\an1}APPLAUSE 926 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,600 {\an2}Come down here, and we'll add that to the final scores! 927 00:43:41,640 --> 00:43:44,320 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 928 00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:47,680 {\an2}How are you feeling, Jack? 929 00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:49,360 {\an2}Exhilarated and, er, 930 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:53,200 {\an2}I feel a little bit guilty after the exchange, but, you know... 931 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:55,800 {\an2}But? ..I had to, it was game - you know, game on, wasn't it? 932 00:43:55,840 --> 00:43:57,560 {\an2}That's Taskmaster, take no prisoners. 933 00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,760 {\an2}Yeah, it's Taskmaster. Take no prisoners. 934 00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:02,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER AUDIENCE AWWS 935 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,640 {\an2}Would you like to see the scoreboard? Obviously. 936 00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,200 {\an2}Well, because of what Jack did, Rosie's come last. 937 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 938 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,920 {\an2}And Jack is at the top of the leaderboard, 939 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,240 {\an2}joint with Emma Sidi, on 19 points! 940 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,680 {\an2}Oh, my God! 941 00:44:16,720 --> 00:44:20,240 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 942 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:21,720 {\an2}A tie-break! 943 00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:22,760 {\an1}AUDIENCE WHOOPS 944 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,800 {\an2}Wow. I know, Greg, yes, and this one was an easy one. 945 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:29,480 {\an2}All they had to do was work out how many days old I will be 946 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,520 {\an2}on Christmas Day 2024. 947 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:32,600 {\an1}BOTH GROAN 948 00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:34,760 {\an2}They had to make eye contact with me the whole time, 949 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,280 {\an2}and could only give one answer. 950 00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:38,520 {\an2}The closest to the correct answer wins. 951 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:40,200 {\an2}Here's how they both got on. 952 00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:41,400 {\an2}Eye contact. 953 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:45,520 {\an2}OK. You're 45. 954 00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,200 {\an2}You're 33. Yes, fine. 955 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:49,200 {\an2}So, what year were you born? 956 00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:50,440 {\an2}When do you think I was born? 957 00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:52,400 {\an2}Oh, come off it, just answer the question. 958 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,160 {\an2}I think you were born on Christmas Day. 959 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:55,920 {\an2}Right, like Father Christmas? 960 00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:00,680 {\an2}So, nine times 365 is 3,000... Mm-hm. 961 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:04,520 {\an2}..and then, I'm going to half that. 1,500. 962 00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:06,800 {\an2}What? That's, like, nothing. 963 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:09,960 {\an2}I think you're...52. 964 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,040 {\an2}Really? Yes, I do! What's wrong with that? 965 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,240 {\an2}I was born in 1978. 966 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,680 {\an2}1978? Mm! 967 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:17,560 {\an2}Yes, so how old are you now this year? It's a simple question. 968 00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,200 {\an2}Sure, yeah. Well I'm, I'm 45 now. 969 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,480 {\an2}45 now. Yeah, you look at me, you thought I was... 970 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,320 {\an2}You're 45. All right. 971 00:45:23,360 --> 00:45:26,360 {\an2}17,223. 972 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,040 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 973 00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:30,720 {\an2}No, there's no way, there's no way I can do that without a calculator. 974 00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,280 {\an2}OK. I mean, I'm actually... I'm actually giving up. 975 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,040 {\an2}Right. Are you going to give an answer? 976 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,000 {\an2}No, I've given up. Right. 977 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,960 {\an1}THEY LAUGH 978 00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,240 {\an2}I've given up. WHISTLE BLOWS 979 00:45:45,080 --> 00:45:48,000 {\an1}JACK GROANS EMMA LAUGHS 980 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,280 {\an2}Coming out the gate, you had the aggression of a 1970s policeman. 981 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:54,680 {\an2}Yeah! I just couldn't have - I'm going to... 982 00:45:54,720 --> 00:45:56,280 {\an2}At the time, I couldn't have imagined 983 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,400 {\an2}it was ever going to matter. 984 00:45:57,440 --> 00:46:01,040 {\an2}Yeah. And then, when you realise it matters so much... 985 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:02,640 {\an2}So very much. 986 00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,800 {\an2}So, the actual answer was 17,538. 987 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,680 {\an2}AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS Emma was 293 days out. 988 00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:11,920 {\an2}She wins because Jack gave up. There we go. OK. 989 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,400 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 990 00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:17,520 {\an2}Thanks for giving up. Emma Sidi wins! 991 00:46:17,560 --> 00:46:22,160 {\an2}Please leg it up and lift aloft your liquid hungry loot! 992 00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:25,120 {\an2}CHEERING What have we learnt today? 993 00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,800 {\an2}Sometimes on Taskmaster, we learn profound things about life, 994 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,160 {\an2}and sometimes those profound things 995 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,640 {\an2}are short, succinct, sweet. 996 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,800 {\an2}For example, today we just learnt... 997 00:46:35,840 --> 00:46:37,200 {\an2}..my mum's a slag. 998 00:46:37,240 --> 00:46:39,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER 999 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,760 {\an2}We're halfway to the final. 1000 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:44,520 {\an2}And the winner of the night, to mark the occasion, 1001 00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,640 {\an2}is the incredible Emma Sidi! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1002 00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:14,640 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media