1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,480
{\an2}This programme contains strong
language and adult humour
2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,040
{\an2}SIGHS: Ah. Urgh!
3
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:08,320
{\an2}Oh!
4
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,560
{\an2}Whoa!
5
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:12,840
{\an1}SHE GIGGLES
6
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,040
{\an1}SHE SCREAMS
7
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:16,560
{\an2}SQUEAKING: Mim, nim, mim, nim...
8
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,760
{\an2}Oh, you're useless at this!
9
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,640
{\an2}SCREAMS: Ah!
10
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:21,680
{\an2}Prrp.
11
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:22,720
{\an2}Urgh!
12
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:33,480
{\an2}Welcome!
13
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,400
{\an2}Welcome to Taskmaster.
14
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,120
{\an2}I'm Greg Davies and my job is
simple,
15
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:42,680
{\an2}objectively judge the performative
attempts of five comedians.
16
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,760
{\an2}The complication is I don't have
a rational mind being as
17
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,160
{\an2}I am drunk on testosterone
18
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,280
{\an2}and out of my mind on cake.
19
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,880
{\an2}Combine this with the undeniable
fact that some of our contestants
20
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,320
{\an2}are incompetent and we've got
ourselves a recipe
21
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:00,400
{\an2}for one hell of a car park fight.
22
00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:01,800
{\an2}Let us meet them again now,
23
00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,240
{\an2}they are Andy Zaltzman...
24
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,240
{\an2}..Babatunde Aleshe...
25
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,600
{\an2}..Emma Sidi...
26
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,600
{\an2}..Jack Dee...
27
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,880
{\an2}..and Rosie Jones...
28
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,200
{\an2}..and sitting next to me,
a man who looks like
29
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:24,520
{\an2}a haunted lighthouse keeper drawn
by a friendless child.
30
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,040
{\an2}It's...
31
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,240
{\an2}IN HIGH-PITCHED TONE:
..Little Alex Horne.
32
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,240
{\an2}Thanks, Greg. Thank you. Whoa!
33
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,240
{\an2}Let's get started. What is the prize
task, young fellow m'lad?
34
00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:41,520
{\an2}Yes, show time and for this episode's
prize task they've been asked
35
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,120
{\an2}to bring in the object that is bigger
than your head
36
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,920
{\an2}that you would most like to carry
with you for the rest of your life
37
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,840
{\an2}if you had to carry an object with
you for the rest of your life.
38
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:52,920
{\an2}Five points for the one Greg thinks
is best
39
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,120
{\an2}and all five will be carried home by
the episode winner.
40
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,680
{\an2}J'ai finis. Merci.
41
00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,640
{\an2}Rosie Jones, what object have you
brought in that you would most
42
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,800
{\an2}like to carry around with you for
the rest of your life?
43
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:09,000
{\an2}OK, I'm very happy with this. Yeah.
44
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,440
{\an2}It is your head.
45
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,080
{\an2}Here it is.
46
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:28,320
{\an2}So here's how I would carry it.
47
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:33,720
{\an2}For the rest of her life.
48
00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:42,360
{\an2}I just really think it'll open
doors for me.
49
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,760
{\an2}Do you Rosie?
50
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:50,560
{\an2}Er, people would see me coming
and be, like, "Greg!"
51
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,880
{\an2}Well, that implies I look
visually like
52
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,520
{\an2}a relatively small woman with
53
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,280
{\an2}a massive papier mache head.
54
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,760
{\an2}I mean it's absolutely incredible.
Who's next? Baba.
55
00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,920
{\an2}Oh, no.
56
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,280
{\an2}Oh, yeah.
57
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,840
{\an2}After that like mine's genuinely
boring, like,
58
00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,080
{\an2}it is practical, though.
59
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,600
{\an2}I, I bought speakers, Subwoofer
speakers.
60
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,280
{\an2}Yes, Baba brought in this.
61
00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,640
{\an2}Boring innit?
62
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,520
{\an2}But I'm a lover of music and, and I
that's
63
00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,880
{\an2}the only thing I could find that was
bigger than my head that
64
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:27,640
{\an2}I would genuinely love to carry
around for the rest of my life.
65
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,080
{\an2}You give me Bob Marley's greatest
hits and that I'm sorted.
66
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,760
{\an2}You're not one of those blokes in my
local park who carries one
67
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,040
{\an2}of those around? Hell yes I am!
You're that guy.
68
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,400
{\an2}I am that guy. Mr Middle Class.
Yes, I am.
69
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,960
{\an2}No I don't, I think you're more,
70
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,800
{\an2}you're too considerate to be the
speaker guy.
71
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,800
{\an2}For who? I don't give a shit about
anybody.
72
00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,280
{\an2}What I like about it, Baba... Yes.
73
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,240
{\an2}..is that you genuinely would like
to have a speaker... 100 per cent.
74
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,760
{\an2}..and it speaks, very sweetly, of
your love of music. Yes.
75
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:55,800
{\an2}Emma.
76
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,440
{\an2}OK. I wanted something that looked
good... Yeah.
77
00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,480
{\an2}..and was lightweight and useful to
me. Tick.
78
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,760
{\an2}OK so I brought in a hat.
79
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,400
{\an2}This is a hat. OK. Yes. I like it.
80
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,560
{\an2}Now... To be fair it is a good hat.
81
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,840
{\an2}..but obviously I wanted it to be of
some use to me, OK?
82
00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,160
{\an2}So within the hat is in-built
moisturiser.
83
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,920
{\an2}Is moisturising very important
to you?
84
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:33,440
{\an2}Absolutely. I'm proudly, er, no I'm
proud to say that I suffer with...
85
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,200
{\an2}I know. You say it, you're proudly
what?
86
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,760
{\an2}I'm proudly dry.
87
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,680
{\an2}I'm a dry woman and I like to be
moist.
88
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,240
{\an2}So much better. That's it. Come on.
89
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,400
{\an2}Jack.
90
00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,720
{\an2}As you know I'm a, I'm a
singer-songwriter.
91
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:49,840
{\an2}Oh, I didn't know that.
92
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,120
{\an2}Well, get over it.
93
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,200
{\an2}If I had to carry around an item for
the rest of my life
94
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,760
{\an2}that's bigger than my head. Yeah.
95
00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,480
{\an2}It would be this. I, I wrote a ditty
because I,
96
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,160
{\an2}as I said I am a singer-songwriter
and it explains the,
97
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,640
{\an2}it explains the prize a bit more,
so here you go.
98
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:14,160
{\an2}# This is my prize, it's bigger than
my head
99
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:19,320
{\an2}# This is my prize, I brought in for
Greg
100
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:24,960
{\an2}# It's not for Alex, nothing rhymes
with his name
101
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:29,080
{\an2}# And that's not his fault. He's got
his parents to blame. #
102
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,800
{\an2}This is the good bit, right.
103
00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:35,320
{\an2}# Ooh, can you believe your eyes?
104
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:41,080
{\an2}# It's my Taskmaster prize. #
105
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,800
{\an2}There you go, how about that?
106
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,320
{\an2}Thank you.
107
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,560
{\an2}Really sweet, Jack.
108
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,080
{\an2}There's only one left.
109
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,120
{\an2}Andy Zaltzman, you look fabulous.
Thanks, mate. You're welcome.
110
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,160
{\an2}Eyes up.
111
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,040
{\an2}The object I've brought in that's
bigger than my head that I'd like
112
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,040
{\an2}to carry with me for the rest of my
life is
113
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:04,640
{\an2}a rhinoceros' head that fires
cricket balls out of its mouth.
114
00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,960
{\an2}Oh, God!
115
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,560
{\an2}Yeah, here we go. Action.
116
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,920
{\an2}I guarantee you carry that with you
for the rest of your life,
117
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,720
{\an2}you'll have a lot of interesting
chats with strangers.
118
00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:20,800
{\an2}Is that something that,
119
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,360
{\an2}uh, the rest of you would like
to win?
120
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,960
{\an2}If that was on my street,
121
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,160
{\an2}that going on I would go, "Well
look, I'm not safe,
122
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,600
{\an2}"I have to move boroughs."
123
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:30,920
{\an2}She is right.
124
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,320
{\an2}As soon as you finish that
sentence,
125
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,480
{\an2}off comes the lid.
126
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:40,640
{\an2}All right, let's give some points
out.
127
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:41,760
{\an2}Yes, please. Right.
128
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,480
{\an2}Right, I'm gonna give five points
to Emma.
129
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,520
{\an2}Oh, thank you.
130
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,640
{\an2}I can't really distinguish between
131
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,880
{\an2}a papier mache rhinoceros that
fires balls
132
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,320
{\an2}and a papier mache me with breasts
133
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,920
{\an2}so I'll give those two four points,
134
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,320
{\an2}and I'll give Jack three points,
135
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,520
{\an2}and I'm giving Baba two
136
00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,240
{\an2}just because I like the fact that he
loves music
137
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,920
{\an2}and why not reward sweetness there.
138
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,040
{\an2}There we go. Five points to Emma
Sidi.
139
00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,080
{\an2}Task time then. What's in store for
us, first?
140
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,760
{\an2}Well, first of all we're going to see
how the cast copes
141
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:10,800
{\an2}with ropes.
142
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,480
{\an2}Good morning, Andy.
143
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:28,760
{\an2}Morning! Morning, Alex.
144
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,720
{\an2}So what's happening?
145
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,640
{\an2}Well, I don't want you to look up.
146
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:34,760
{\an2}You don't want me to look up.
147
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:35,960
{\an2}No, thank you.
148
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,680
{\an2}OK.
149
00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,080
{\an2}Don't look up please, Rosie.
150
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:43,600
{\an2}Right. Is that why I'm wearing
the hat?
151
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,560
{\an2}That's exactly why you're wearing
the visor.
152
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,880
{\an2}Ring the bell.
153
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,880
{\an2}You may not look up.
154
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,160
{\an2}Fewest ropes pulled wins.
155
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,960
{\an2}You have a maximum of ten minutes.
156
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,400
{\an2}Your time starts now.
157
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,600
{\an2}The S of starts is with a five.
158
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:08,440
{\an2}I think someone was supposed
to put an S but they put a five...
159
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:09,480
{\an2}Right?
160
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,160
{\an2}..so it's time start five now.
161
00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:12,920
{\an2}You don't think that was deliberate?
162
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,320
{\an2}It m... oh, so, what? I've only got
five minutes?
163
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:16,400
{\an2}No you've got ten minutes.
164
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:25,600
{\an2}So the five font thing is causing
consternation.
165
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,080
{\an2}Oh, it got in their heads, Greg.
166
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,280
{\an2}Got into their heads. Let's go.
167
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:30,920
{\an2}We're gonna see Andy first.
168
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,480
{\an2}Let's see if this rings a bell.
169
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,680
{\an2}So I'll assume there's a bell above
me.
170
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,320
{\an2}OK right. I feel I'm missing a clue
somewhere.
171
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:45,680
{\an2}No there's nothing in there.
172
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,280
{\an2}Could be B11 rather than bell?
173
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,920
{\an2}Well maybe I'll try number one.
174
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:54,920
{\an2}Lot of balls.
175
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,640
{\an2}No bells.
176
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,680
{\an2}Oh, hang on.
177
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:03,080
{\an2}Have you pulled rope number eight
yet? Well, no I haven't.
178
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:04,360
{\an2}Right?
179
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,320
{\an2}Does that mean I should pull it?
I mean...
180
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:08,920
{\an2}Again I... Is there any other
messages in there?
181
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,800
{\an2}That's half your time gone, Andy.
Right, OK.
182
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,920
{\an2}I can't, like, call Ian Bell, the
cricketer, on my phone?
183
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:15,960
{\an2}That doesn't count?
184
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,000
{\an2}Do you have his number?
185
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,520
{\an2}No, I don't.
186
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:19,880
{\an2}Right, OK, right.
187
00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,920
{\an2}I, I think I've pulled eight.
188
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,240
{\an2}Yeah, it's just a long rope.
189
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,440
{\an2}I feel like this is nothing
to do with the ropes.
190
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,880
{\an2}That's not a bell, by the looks of
it.
191
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,000
{\an2}Well, it looks like a number seven.
192
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,200
{\an2}Might as well.
193
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,320
{\an2}Why not four?
194
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,640
{\an2}Oh, that's the cat, obviously.
195
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,680
{\an2}Doesn't appear to have a bell in?
196
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,240
{\an2}No bell, no. You never know. Some
breeds of cat do.
197
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,280
{\an2}Right.
198
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,160
{\an2}There's no real way of emerging from
this with any form of, er...
199
00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,000
{\an2}A VOICE BELLOWS: No. ..dignity.
200
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,040
{\an2}A VOICE BELLOWS: No!
201
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,840
{\an2}Is that Ian Bell up there?
Did I just ring Ian Bell?
202
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,280
{\an2}Right there's two ropes left.
203
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,040
{\an2}OK.
204
00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,720
{\an2}That's the end of the time.
205
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,200
{\an2}I didn't ring a bell particularly
there.
206
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,120
{\an2}No, I didn't hear any bells. Right.
No.
207
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:25,160
{\an2}That's a shame.
208
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,400
{\an2}Quite a mess as well.
209
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,080
{\an2}Something that's taken me a long
time to work out about you is...
210
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:35,760
{\an2}Yeah. ..you, sort of, have the
countenance
211
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,120
{\an2}and employ the vernacular of
a scientist... Yes.
212
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,800
{\an2}..but I wrote down what you actually
did there... Yeah.
213
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,440
{\an2}..which was to randomly pull all
the ropes... Yes.
214
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:48,360
{\an2}..fail the tasks whilst occasionally
banging on about cricket again.
215
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,640
{\an2}Yeah, yeah, but then you look back
through
216
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,080
{\an2}the history of science, Greg,
what did Isaac Newton do?
217
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,760
{\an2}He just sat under trees till
something fell on his head.
218
00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,120
{\an2}So is it really that different?
219
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,320
{\an2}Then said something about googlies.
Yeah, yeah.
220
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,400
{\an2}Basically, Andy did very badly.
221
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:04,440
{\an2}He pulled all the ropes.
222
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,960
{\an2}There were lots of numbers hidden
around the ropes
223
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,560
{\an2}but they didn't mean anything
at all. Next?
224
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:12,000
{\an2}OK, right next it's the Dee family,
Jack Dee and Babatun-Dee.
225
00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,840
{\an2}Here we go.
226
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:15,400
{\an2}Not all of them are connected to
a bell.
227
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:16,520
{\an2}OK.
228
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,400
{\an2}It's a game of luck.
229
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,440
{\an2}You know so I've slightly lost
interest already... Right.
230
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,440
{\an2}..but we, we'll go for it.
231
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,960
{\an2}Oh!
232
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,520
{\an2}SCREAMS: Ah I don't wanna pull
anything.
233
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,520
{\an2}Oh, like that. Yeah. Oh, OK!
234
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,240
{\an2}You know what this one's
furthest away.
235
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:38,440
{\an2}No bell.
236
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,880
{\an2}Oh, I'm just gonna go through them
there's no skill in this.
237
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,240
{\an2}There's...
238
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:44,280
{\an2}Right.
239
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,880
{\an2}No I, I see. Yeah.
240
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,160
{\an2}See what I mean? Er, well I, I,
yeah, I guess so, yeah.
241
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,520
{\an2}What am I supposed to do, react?
242
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,400
{\an2}SCREAMS: Ah!
243
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:54,960
{\an2}A VOICE BELLOWS: No!
244
00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,840
{\an2}A VOICE BELLOWS: No!
245
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:01,560
{\an2}There's a watermelon.
246
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,960
{\an2}Uh, umbrellas.
247
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:08,120
{\an2}I'm tempted to do this one
but I don't want to
248
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,560
{\an2}because I just don't want nothing
weird falling on me.
249
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,960
{\an2}Oh, that's not traumatising.
250
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,360
{\an2}A VOICE BELLOWS: No!
251
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,640
{\an2}All right, man let's just pull bro.
252
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:18,960
{\an2}At the end of the day it is what
it is.
253
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,040
{\an2}Bang!
254
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,080
{\an2}Bang!
255
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,120
{\an2}Bow!
256
00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:23,160
{\an2}Not a bell.
257
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,480
{\an2}Yeah, it's fewest ropes wins.
258
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,920
{\an2}Life is about the now.
259
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,000
{\an2}Boom!
260
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:30,520
{\an2}There's no bell. There's no bell.
261
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,240
{\an2}There's no bell?
262
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,200
{\an2}Wait, what?
263
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,480
{\an2}You've got seven minutes left.
264
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,040
{\an2}Oh!
265
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:44,880
{\an1}BELL RINGS TASKMASTER TUNE
266
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,400
{\an2}Oh, there might be a bell in the,
er, in the music thing.
267
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:49,680
{\an2}Yeah.
268
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,400
{\an1}BELL RINGS
269
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,280
{\an2}Great, er, yeah. Happy?
270
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:56,560
{\an2}Yeah, I've stopped the clock,
yeah. Are you happy?
271
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,920
{\an2}Yeah, I found the bell. Yeah.
I found the bell.
272
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:03,200
{\an2}Er, I'll go and get dry now, I've,
erm, I'll just, er, yeah.
273
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,440
{\an2}Yeah. Hmm.
274
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,480
{\an2}It's great fun.
275
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,320
{\an2}Isn't it?
276
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:15,040
{\an1}BELLS RINGING
277
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:20,440
{\an2}Baba you looked like you were
having
278
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,160
{\an2}the time of your life pulling
those ropes.
279
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,520
{\an2}No I was a bit traumatised
to be fair.
280
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,560
{\an2}Were you?
281
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:26,960
{\an2}Yes, cos I don't like these,
282
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,560
{\an2}I don't like doing things where I
don't know what's on the other end.
283
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,720
{\an2}Yeah. You came to the wrong show.
284
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,960
{\an2}Two more contrasting catchphrases
you couldn't hear.
285
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,160
{\an2}Baba shouting, "Life is about the
now!"
286
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,640
{\an2}and Jack saying, "It's entirely
random so I've lost interest."
287
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,120
{\an2}That was like day 34 of these tasks
288
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,960
{\an2}and it was beginning to wear thin on
me and, er...
289
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,800
{\an2}No way. Yeah, I know I, I put all my
energy into concealing that
290
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,160
{\an2}cos I know it's a fun show.
291
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,760
{\an2}I mean they both did eventually ring
292
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,680
{\an2}a bell after pulling ten ropes.
293
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,120
{\an2}So they got exactly the same result.
294
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,400
{\an2}Break time now and a chance
to continue the housework.
295
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,480
{\an2}Maybe make the kids' packed
lunches,
296
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,920
{\an2}load the dishwasher or chuck that
lump you married into the street.
297
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,840
{\an2}Imagine having the bed to yourself?
298
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,880
{\an8}It's not like it's being used for
anything else.
299
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,360
{\an2}We'll see you in a minute.
300
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:34,800
{\an8}Hello, again!
301
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,400
{\an8}Welcome back into the fold.
302
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:40,600
{\an8}It's Part Two and there's a rope
pulling, bell ringing task in play.
303
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,600
{\an2}We've only got two prospective
campanologists to go.
304
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,720
{\an2}It's Rosie and Emma.
305
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:57,480
{\an2}What you doing, Emma?
306
00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:58,600
{\an2}I'm just, erm...
307
00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,360
{\an2}..I'm walking backwards.
308
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:03,680
{\an2}Right.
309
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:08,000
{\an2}It says you pull the rope.
310
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,520
{\an2}Can I shake it?
311
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,880
{\an2}When you use something you can
zoom in
312
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,200
{\an2}but in real life you have to do it
with your body,
313
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,400
{\an2}so if you wanna see something
close up...
314
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,440
{\an2}You're zooming out.
315
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,080
{\an2}Yeah, I'm zooming out. Right.
316
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,760
{\an2}I'm not pulling it.
317
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,080
{\an2}I'm not pulling it.
318
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,680
{\an2}That didn't help actually quite as
much as I wanted.
319
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,440
{\an2}Fuck.
320
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:47,680
{\an2}They all feel quite light.
321
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,960
{\an2}Is it up there?
322
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,920
{\an2}I'll be honest with you, it's not
going well at all.
323
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,120
{\an2}Look. Hm-mm.
324
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,440
{\an2}Fuck me!
325
00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,480
{\an2}No bell.
326
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,320
{\an2}That's a bell!
327
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,520
{\an2}Oh, my God!
328
00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:13,600
{\an2}I think I've done it.
329
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,920
{\an2}Zero ropes pulled.
330
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:17,600
{\an2}Ah, I'm just zooming out again.
331
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,040
{\an2}Yeah, yeah. Don't fall off the chair.
332
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,600
{\an2}I rang it once.
333
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:27,680
{\an2}OK.
334
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,840
{\an2}I'm good at this.
335
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:30,880
{\an2}See you later.
336
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,400
{\an2}I'm very good.
337
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:41,000
{\an2}Yet again another example of your
crushingly low self-esteem.
338
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,560
{\an2}The last thing you said as you
leave, "I'm good at this."
339
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,760
{\an2}Beat. "I'm very good."
340
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,720
{\an2}Can you argue with me, though?
341
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,360
{\an2}Yeah, sure, why did you spend ages
shaking the ropes?
342
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:59,240
{\an2}You need to get some footage.
343
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:06,960
{\an2}How have you got away with that?
344
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,320
{\an2}You just shook the ropes for ages.
345
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,400
{\an2}Yeah.
346
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,320
{\an2}That is a good idea though, isn't
it? Yeah.
347
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,920
{\an2}That's how she knew the answer.
I could feel it.
348
00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,040
{\an2}Yeah.
349
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,400
{\an2}What you can feel what?
350
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,840
{\an2}Nothing. Nothing.
351
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,480
{\an2}So you were shaking to see if there
was a bell? Yeah. OK.
352
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,040
{\an2}You need to wake up, mate.
353
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:30,320
{\an2}And this, this coming from a woman
who appears to have
354
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:31,640
{\an2}a zoom lens system.
355
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,280
{\an2}As it went on I was, like, "This is
actually,
356
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,680
{\an2}"there's something in this."
357
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,400
{\an2}There's something in zooming in and
out of things?
358
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,520
{\an2}With your body, you... With your
body and, and head.
359
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,400
{\an2}People did that for thousands
and thousands of years.
360
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,080
{\an2}Did they? The original zoom. Yeah,
yeah. And you would know, yeah.
361
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:53,040
{\an2}The original zoom.
362
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,480
{\an2}No. The outfit. Oh, she's turned on
you, Andy.
363
00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,520
{\an2}The out... She's turned on you.
364
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,000
{\an2}Et tu, Emma.
365
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:04,320
{\an2}She rang the bell, though.
366
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,720
{\an2}Yeah, she rang the bell. She only
pulled one rope... OK.
367
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,000
{\an2}..and so it's pretty clear.
368
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,360
{\an2}It's Andy doesn't get any points,
he didn't do the task.
369
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,400
{\an2}Joint third, Baba and Jack, both get
three points.
370
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,840
{\an2}Emma gets four points.
371
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,600
{\an2}Rosie didn't pull any she gets
five points.
372
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,280
{\an2}That's it.
373
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,680
{\an2}Can we look at the scoreboard then?
We can.
374
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:24,360
{\an2}Both at the top of the leader board
with nine points
375
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,200
{\an2}Emma and Rosie, joint first.
376
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,960
{\an2}I'd like another task, please.
377
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,720
{\an2}I don't believe you but here you go
anyway.
378
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,080
{\an2}I'm ready.
379
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,800
{\an2}Oh, I see. Yeah.
380
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:55,840
{\an2}Hello.
381
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,240
{\an2}You're dressed as a hot dog, Rosie.
382
00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:03,800
{\an2}Yeah. I'm feeling confident.
383
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:07,200
{\an2}Andy, you're in this chair so would
you mind just popping this
384
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,840
{\an2}on your lap and then poking your
head through the hole.
385
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,880
{\an2}If you pop your head through there.
It should go.
386
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,720
{\an2}Oh, that's perfect.
387
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,600
{\an2}That's dope. Suits you, bro. Yeah.
388
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,560
{\an2}You look lovely, Jackie.
389
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,840
{\an2}Thank you. Thank you, erm...
390
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,880
{\an2}IN A SING-SONG VOICE: Captain Jackie
and a hot dog.
391
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,960
{\an1}HE SIGHS
392
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,000
{\an2}OK.
393
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,040
{\an1}HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
394
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,240
{\an2}Work out what is in the box.
395
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:37,480
{\an2}You must not look, feel or inspect
the box in any way.
396
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:45,520
{\an2}Your team mate must not show you
the contents of the box.
397
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:50,240
{\an2}They may only make silent facial
expressions,
398
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,880
{\an2}unless answering Alex's questions.
399
00:19:54,080 --> 00:20:01,960
{\an2}Your team mate must not nod or
shake their head.
400
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,280
{\an2}Fastest to work out what's in
the box wins.
401
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,240
{\an2}Your time starts and ends on Alex's
whistle.
402
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:08,400
{\an2}Here I come.
403
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,680
{\an2}Mm-hm. OK, yeah.
404
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,920
{\an2}Can you get your bum out our
face man?
405
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:31,960
{\an2}Got some, something just for you
there.
406
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000
{\an2}Oh, right OK.
407
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,040
{\an2}You must lie throughout the next
task.
408
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:40,520
{\an2}Born to do it.
409
00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,080
{\an2}Every time you tell the truth
everyone in your team
410
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:46,160
{\an2}will lose an actual
Taskmaster point.
411
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,920
{\an2}Your time starts when you walk into
the task room
412
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,440
{\an2}and ends when you leave after
the task is complete.
413
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,040
{\an2}Stick out your tongue if it was
a food.
414
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,680
{\an2}Did you not realise that this little
weasel had implemented
415
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,120
{\an2}the opposite system?
416
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:14,000
{\an2}I feel quite sad.
417
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,880
{\an2}I've been let down by Jackie.
418
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,520
{\an2}I was doing it for your best
interests, Rosie.
419
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,000
{\an2}I was, obviously... But. ..I would
never let you down ordinarily
420
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,040
{\an2}but there were points to play
for here.
421
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,840
{\an2}It's, it's really sweet to see that
there's such sadness
422
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,880
{\an2}between two very tight team mates...
Yeah.
423
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,200
{\an2}..and I think implementing the joker
on a team task shows
424
00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,400
{\an2}a great deal of faith in your
team mate.
425
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,880
{\an2}Because as soon as I found out that
426
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,800
{\an2}I was on a team with Jackie,
427
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:55,480
{\an2}I was like, "He's my comedy hero."
428
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,520
{\an2}AUDIENCE: Aw.
429
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,360
{\an2}S...
430
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,480
{\an2}"..and he won't let me down."
431
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:06,640
{\an2}He won't let you down.
432
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:12,520
{\an2}Do you think that the faith that you
have in Jackie, your comedy hero,
433
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,080
{\an2}is reciprocated the other way?
434
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,360
{\an2}Let's have a look at this clip.
Erm, hm-mm.
435
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:21,320
{\an2}IN A SING-SONG VOICE: Captain Jackie
and the hot dog.
436
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,440
{\an2}SIGHS: Huh!
437
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,960
{\an2}There are loyalty's about to be
stretched.
438
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,400
{\an2}There are friendships at risk.
439
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:32,760
{\an2}Well, first we're gonna see the team
of three
440
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:36,400
{\an2}and Andy's little face doing its best
to convey what's in the box
441
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:38,800
{\an2}to Baba and Emma, whilst lying.
442
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,920
{\an2}Stick out your tongue if it was
a food.
443
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,480
{\an2}It wasn't a.. It wasn't food.
444
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:53,160
{\an2}Andy stick out your tongue if it's
related to one of us.
445
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:56,880
{\an2}There you go.
446
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,680
{\an2}Stick out your tongue if it's
figurines of us.
447
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:03,440
{\an2}Figurines of us.
448
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,920
{\an2}Have they worked out what's in
the box yet, Andy?
449
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,480
{\an2}Er, yes.
450
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:07,920
{\an2}Well, I don't think you have so.
451
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:12,480
{\an2}Well, you two have gotta have it out
now because he thinks it is.
452
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,960
{\an2}OK. Is the lining plush like velvet?
453
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,320
{\an2}Velvet lining.
454
00:23:19,360 --> 00:23:21,120
{\an2}Andy, do you actually know what
velvet is?
455
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,040
{\an2}Ooh. No.
456
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:27,480
{\an2}Andy's lying. Everything that Andy
says is a lie.
457
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,080
{\an2}Are you lying Andy?
458
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:30,160
{\an2}No.
459
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,720
{\an2}This man doesn't know what
velvet is,
460
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,280
{\an2}look at him he's Andy Zaltzman he
knows what velvet is.
461
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,280
{\an2}Right is it something you can eat?
Stick out your tongue.
462
00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,320
{\an2}So it is something you can eat.
463
00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:43,880
{\an2}Is it cheese?
464
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:49,960
{\an2}Is it canned fish? Is it fish? Is it
baked beans?
465
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,360
{\an2}Is it old bread?
466
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:52,560
{\an2}Is it something that
467
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,720
{\an2}a prepper would have in
their house?
468
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,040
{\an2}What's a prepper?
469
00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:00,040
{\an2}You know so the end of the world is
coming, you stock up all your cans.
470
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,240
{\an2}The end of the world isn't coming.
471
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:04,400
{\an2}Alex. Yes, Emma.
472
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:05,600
{\an2}What do we do?
473
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,640
{\an2}Andy, is it peas?
474
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,200
{\an2}Is it Brussels sprouts? Is it kale?
475
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,320
{\an2}Andy, Andy, Andy is it boiled?
Did it smell?
476
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,680
{\an2}Could you pickle it? Was it an
onion?
477
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,280
{\an2}Is it a cucumber? Is it an orange?
Is it a mango?
478
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,920
{\an2}Is it strawberries? Cherries?
479
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,840
{\an2}Was it an egg? Oh, my God!
480
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,600
{\an2}Blueberries. Er, kiwi, lime, lemon.
481
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,040
{\an2}Lemon?
482
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,720
{\an2}It's lemons. Think it's lemons, you
know.
483
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,640
{\an8}Andy, is it like lemons and bible or
something?
484
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,320
{\an2}Interesting.
485
00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,880
{\an2}Lemons and the dictionary.
486
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:46,920
{\an2}Is it written text?
Could you read it?
487
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,960
{\an2}Could you read it and enjoy it?
488
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,320
{\an2}No. It's boring, it's, like,
numbers.
489
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:57,480
{\an2}It's lemons and reams of data.
490
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,080
{\an2}Are there any numbers in there, Andy?
491
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:01,800
{\an2}No.
492
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,480
{\an2}Money. It's lemons and money.
493
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,400
{\an2}It's lemons and ten quid.
494
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,000
{\an2}It's lemons and a £5 note.
495
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,440
{\an2}I don't think you should stop
the clock.
496
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:14,520
{\an2}You're half right.
497
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,600
{\an2}It's lemons and... £2.50.
498
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,600
{\an2}There's one lemon.
499
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:19,640
{\an2}There's one lemon.
500
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,000
{\an2}One lemon and a £5 note.
And a £5 note.
501
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,080
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
502
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:24,720
{\an2}Oh! My God! You've gotta be kidding
me, man.
503
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,320
{\an2}Oh, my God. Are you joking?
504
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,160
{\an2}I mean it's just genuinely
impressive, wasn't it?
505
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:36,200
{\an2}Yes, it is.
506
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:40,760
{\an2}The turning point when you realised
the system based on
507
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,760
{\an2}the fact that it was
preposterous that
508
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,760
{\an2}Andy Zaltzman wouldn't know what
velvet was.
509
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:46,800
{\an2}Yeah.
510
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,080
{\an2}You, you think that Zaltzman doesn't
know what velvet is.
511
00:25:50,120 --> 00:25:52,600
{\an2}He sleeps atop a velvet bed.
512
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,000
{\an2}It's our little secret, Greg.
513
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,680
{\an2}So Emma worked out the,
the opposite system.
514
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,000
{\an2}She worked out there were opposites
fairly early within about
515
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:01,240
{\an2}eight minutes... Yeah.
516
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,040
{\an2}..but then there was another half an
hour before... Oh. Ah!
517
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,080
{\an2}..before they got it.
518
00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:07,000
{\an2}116 guesses all together.
519
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,880
{\an2}I can tell you that Andy did not tell
the truth at any point,
520
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,760
{\an2}so there's no points docked. Yes,
Andy. Right. That's good.
521
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,080
{\an2}Good on you. That's good.
522
00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,120
{\an2}Right time to watch some adverts
523
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,000
{\an2}and wipe those crumbs off your
chest.
524
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,840
{\an2}Yeah, they've been there the whole
time.
525
00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:35,560
{\an8}Hi! Welcome back!
526
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,000
{\an8}It's Part Three of Taskmaster
527
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,720
{\an2}and a tricky team task is in
the final throes.
528
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,920
{\an2}Yes, there's only Jack and Rosie to
go
529
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,120
{\an2}and Rosie's dressed as a hot dog so
double points for her
530
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:46,320
{\an2}at the end of the task
531
00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:49,480
{\an2}but actual points can be lost if
Jack tells the truth to her
532
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,040
{\an2}so, maybe, potentially double
negative points for Rosie?
533
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,360
{\an2}We don't know. It's all very
exciting.
534
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,400
{\an2}And here we go.
535
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,040
{\an2}Is it food?
536
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,160
{\an2}IN A GIGGLY VOICE: Hm-hm-hm.
537
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,240
{\an2}Is it a fruit?
538
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,600
{\an2}IN A GIGGLY VOICE: Hm-hm-hm.
539
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,400
{\an2}A banana?
540
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:06,440
{\an2}Hmm.
541
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,400
{\an2}Apple? Grapes?
542
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,720
{\an2}Ah!
543
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,080
{\an2}Ah.
544
00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:16,960
{\an2}Ah.
545
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:20,640
{\an2}Erm, is it a citrus?
546
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,920
{\an1}HE LAUGHS
547
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,040
{\an2}Lemon.
548
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,040
{\an1}HE GUFFAWS
549
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,600
{\an2}Lemon bleach.
550
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,520
{\an1}HE SIGHS
551
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,520
{\an2}Ah!
552
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,360
{\an2}Jack, is she along the right lines?
553
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,200
{\an2}Definitely I think it's only a
matter of seconds...
554
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:46,200
{\an2}..before she guesses all the
items... Right. ..in the box. OK.
555
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:53,480
{\an2}Oh, is there more than one thing
in there?
556
00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:56,800
{\an2}Two.
557
00:27:56,840 --> 00:28:02,080
{\an2}Is the other one another fruit?
558
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:04,480
{\an2}Uh, ah. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh...
559
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:05,520
{\an2}Is it food?
560
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:06,720
{\an2}This is bordering on communication.
561
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,200
{\an2}Er, I don't think it is.
562
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:15,960
{\an2}Is it a book? A living creature?
A tool? A rubber duck?
563
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:21,440
{\an2}A flag? A balloon?
564
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,200
{\an2}Jack do you think Rosie should ask
much, much more specific questions?
565
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:29,760
{\an2}I think her approach of just
scatter-gun guesses is,
566
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:32,720
{\an2}is eventually gonna do it.
Oh, right.
567
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,160
{\an2}Yeah, it could take a few months.
568
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,560
{\an2}Is it made of glass? Hmm.
569
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,680
{\an2}Metal? Hm-mm.
570
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,720
{\an2}Is it made of paper?
571
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,200
{\an2}Ah-ha. Ah. Ha ha.
572
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:52,680
{\an2}Ooh.
573
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,640
{\an2}Ooh. Yeah.
574
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,480
{\an2}Ooh, money.
575
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,720
{\an2}Oh.
576
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,600
{\an2}Ah. Is it £5?
577
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:02,800
{\an2}Woo-hoo.
578
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,120
{\an2}£5 and a lemon.
579
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,160
{\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS
580
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,240
{\an2}I've stopped the clock.
581
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,960
{\an2}I put it to you that Rosie's guesses
were entirely arbitrary
582
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:18,960
{\an2}and that wasn't helped by Jack who
was openly talking at times
583
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:22,160
{\an2}and never, at any point as far as
I could work out,
584
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,360
{\an2}doing what he was told and doing the
opposite.
585
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,200
{\an2}Ah, that's not fair.
586
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,800
{\an2}You can't tell a lie with a facial
expression.
587
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:31,920
{\an2}Yes, you can, Jack.
588
00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,200
{\an2}No, no, no, you can't. I, I...
589
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,920
{\an2}Otherwise my wife has been lying to
me for a long time...
590
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,240
{\an2}..and that I do not accept.
591
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,000
{\an2}I w will repeat two of the rules.
592
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:45,080
{\an2}They may only make silent
facial expressions.
593
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,680
{\an2}They must not nod or shake
their head. Yes.
594
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,520
{\an2}OK, OK, so that part of the task was
told to me
595
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,360
{\an2}at least 20 minutes before that
happened. Yeah.
596
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:58,160
{\an2}I can't remember stuff for that long
and just make it work.
597
00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:02,360
{\an2}Oh, oh, well then, full points to
Captain Jackie and the hot dog.
598
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,360
{\an2}How are you feeling in all
this Rosie?
599
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:08,840
{\an2}Why did you put me with granddad?
600
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,920
{\an2}So the rules for the liars were
a point docked
601
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,240
{\an2}for their team every time they told
the truth.
602
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:19,280
{\an2}Yes.
603
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,480
{\an2}I would say there was genuinely only
three occasions where she asked
604
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,040
{\an2}a question and he openly nodded or
shook his head.
605
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,720
{\an2}So we're docking three points.
606
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,360
{\an2}I guess the question is do you
want to dock the hot dog six points.
607
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,280
{\an2}Dock six, dock six. Dock six, bro.
608
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,960
{\an2}My understanding if you play your
joker you get double points.
609
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,440
{\an2}Correct. That's all we said, yeah.
610
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,440
{\an2}Right. There's no suggestion that
in the event of
611
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:46,000
{\an2}an abject failure that you should
be docked double points.
612
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:48,480
{\an2}But I also think that they had
to stick to the rules
613
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:49,560
{\an2}and they didn't stick to the rules.
614
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,760
{\an2}So this team won the task so they get
five points each. Correct.
615
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:52,800
{\an2}Oh.
616
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,360
{\an2}Minus three to the team of two. Oh!
617
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,040
{\an2}No it's OK.
618
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:00,960
{\an2}OK let's crack on. What's next,
Alex?
619
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:04,920
{\an2}OK, well Greg, all the information is
in the snacks.
620
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,280
{\an2}Hello.
621
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:18,040
{\an2}Emma. Great to see you.
622
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:19,520
{\an2}Great to see you.
623
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:20,640
{\an2}That's what I said.
624
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:23,080
{\an2}OK.
625
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:28,120
{\an2}I love fortune cookies.
626
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,560
{\an2}Eat and obey five fortune cookies.
627
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,600
{\an2}Fastest wins. Your time starts now.
OK.
628
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,960
{\an2}Ah, man.
629
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,640
{\an2}I don't wanna do like some weird
stuff bro.
630
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,360
{\an2}So I could get pedantic about what
obey means.
631
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,160
{\an2}I mean to obey a fortune cookie
632
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:51,440
{\an2}you know. Jump up and down.
You know.
633
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,080
{\an2}Frequently on this show Baba has
announced that he doesn't want to do
634
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:02,000
{\an2}something weird and he's just come
to the wrong show.
635
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:07,840
{\an2}So we begin with two people who
I think genuinely loved this one.
636
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:09,200
{\an2}It's Rosie and Baba.
637
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,040
{\an2}We're off. Erm...
638
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,880
{\an2}Are you looking for the fortune?
Yeah. Hmm.
639
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,760
{\an2}Retrieve the pineapple from
the kitchen.
640
00:32:23,800 --> 00:32:24,800
{\an2}All right.
641
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:31,800
{\an2}That's a pineapple. Oh.
642
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:32,880
{\an2}Hey... Hey, hey!
643
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,800
{\an2}Where did you get that fortune
cookie from?
644
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,200
{\an2}The kitchen. Oh. Was I not supposed
to get it?
645
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:38,400
{\an2}No, that's OK.
646
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:43,280
{\an2}Oh. If you have opened this fortune
cookie you must oh,
647
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,120
{\an2}for flip's sake.
648
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,360
{\an2}Start all over again.
649
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,360
{\an2}OK so you haven't eaten any fortune
cookies, yet.
650
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:53,800
{\an2}Put all of the fortune cookies in
a bowl
651
00:32:54,920 --> 00:33:00,920
{\an2}of hot salty water.
652
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,480
{\an2}In a bowl of vinegar.
653
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,080
{\an2}That's disgusting.
654
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,280
{\an2}Shit.
655
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,560
{\an2}I don't think about it, bruv.
656
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,600
{\an2}Oh. That is nasty.
657
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:20,040
{\an2}Urgh! Urgh!
658
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:23,000
{\an2}Aargh!.
659
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,400
{\an2}Put all of the fortune cookies.
660
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:31,920
{\an2}In a bowl of hot sauce.
661
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:35,040
{\an2}I swear just this gets worse and
worse and worse.
662
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,800
{\an2}Oh!
663
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,080
{\an2}Fuck!
664
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,200
{\an2}Yo.
665
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,320
{\an2}You like it?
666
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:46,560
{\an2}You're taking the piss.
667
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:49,040
{\an2}Oh! Oh!
668
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:50,800
{\an2}Three to go Rosie. You OK?
669
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:52,920
{\an2}No.
670
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:55,640
{\an2}I'm about to ruin the toilet.
671
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:01,200
{\an2}What the fuck does that say?
672
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:04,280
{\an2}Shut one eye for the rest of
the task. That's it.
673
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:05,320
{\an2}Yeah.
674
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:06,760
{\an2}It's breaking apart because of all
the spice.
675
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,080
{\an2}It says keep your mouth open for
the rest of the task.
676
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:10,160
{\an2}Ah.
677
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:14,040
{\an2}I can't see.
678
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:15,960
{\an2}No, you've got one eye shut and...
Yeah.
679
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,240
{\an2}..and you're crying a lot. Right.
680
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,160
{\an2}Retrieve the medallion from
the table in the living room.
681
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:26,320
{\an2}No. Oh, it's hot.
682
00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:29,720
{\an2}Ah, shout the word yes for 30
seconds.
683
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:32,960
{\an2}Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
684
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,000
{\an2}Yeah, that's 40.
685
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:35,200
{\an2}Ah.
686
00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:37,000
{\an2}Ah.
687
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:39,080
{\an2}Ah! Aargh!!
688
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,320
{\an2}Ah, just stop doing it. Oh.
689
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,120
{\an2}What does that say?
690
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,360
{\an2}You can probably read that.
691
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,400
{\an2}Laugh.
692
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,840
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
693
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,840
{\an2}I've stopped the clock. Ooh.
694
00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,120
{\an2}I like that one.
695
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:56,400
{\an2}Is that it?
696
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:57,440
{\an2}Yeah, that's five.
697
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,360
{\an2}You're a dickhead.
698
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,880
{\an2}I hate you all.
699
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:03,920
{\an2}Bye.
700
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,520
{\an2}Are you ashamed of yourself turning
on the crew like that?
701
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,360
{\an2}No.
702
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:18,040
{\an2}I was gonna say that that was
703
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:22,000
{\an2}the worst moment of my life
704
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:27,040
{\an2}But that has been replaced by him.
705
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:35,000
{\an2}The reaction from Rosie and Baba
even before we got to the hot sauce,
706
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,320
{\an2}was it that bad? Yes, it was that
bad. Have you tried it?
707
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:39,760
{\an2}What eating vinegar?
708
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,920
{\an2}No. Eating a fortune cookie which
is lovely and delicious
709
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:46,360
{\an2}and then dunking it into a bowl of
vinegar for like ten seconds.
710
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,400
{\an2}Have you done that, Greg?
711
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,520
{\an2}Baba's talking to me like an angry
teacher.
712
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:52,560
{\an2}I would say the hot sauce was,
713
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,440
{\an2}it's called Scotch Bonnet Hot Sauce.
714
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,160
{\an2}Oh, so that is really vicious. Oh!
715
00:35:56,200 --> 00:36:00,640
{\an2}Rosie, there were actual tears and
discomfort for 11 minutes 24.
716
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,600
{\an2}Baba, felt like an hour, 20 minutes
35.
717
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:04,720
{\an2}Goddamn.
718
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:06,000
{\an2}So Rosie you're in the lead.
719
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:10,280
{\an2}Not so bad.
720
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:13,960
{\an2}OK next up it's Emma Sidi
and Jack Si-Dee.
721
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:18,600
{\an2}Oh.
722
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:21,560
{\an2}What you doing?
723
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,560
{\an2}Don the medallion that's on
the table in the living room.
724
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,280
{\an2}I'm going to have to go and get that
now, aren't I?
725
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:34,560
{\an2}BOTH: Laugh for 30 seconds.
726
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:41,520
{\an2}I think that's 30. Mm-hmm.
727
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,400
{\an2}Say the word yes for 30 seconds. Ha!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
728
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,640
{\an2}Yes, yes yes yes yes yes.
729
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,520
{\an2}BOTH: Yes, yes yes yes yes yes.
730
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:53,920
{\an2}Put all of the fortune cookies in
a bowl of hot sauce...
731
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,960
{\an2}..and leave them for 30 seconds.
732
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,040
{\an2}There you go, Jack. Oh, man!
733
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,000
{\an2}Then I've gotta eat two more.
Mm-hmm.
734
00:37:01,040 --> 00:37:03,320
{\an2}So I don't have to do that until
I've done the next two.
735
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:04,520
{\an2}Really?
736
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,560
{\an2}I don't wanna eat them with
the sauce on.
737
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,800
{\an2}Keep one eye shut for
the rest of the task.
738
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,400
{\an2}Can I see your eyes?
739
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:13,840
{\an2}Hmm that's better.
740
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:15,120
{\an2}Did you forget?
741
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:17,760
{\an2}Oh, these are horrible.
742
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,240
{\an2}Maybe they could do with
a bit of hot sauce.
743
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:20,600
{\an2}I don't think so.
744
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,240
{\an2}Keep your mouth open for
the rest of the task.
745
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,000
{\an2}I've been brought up not to do
that,
746
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,160
{\an2}to eat with your mouth open
it's disgusting.
747
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,200
{\an2}Hmm. Still. You can look at me.
748
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,400
{\an2}Put all of the fortune cookies in
749
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,560
{\an2}a bowl of hot salty water and leave
them for 30 seconds.
750
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,240
{\an2}That's five fortune cookies.
751
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:46,120
{\an2}Oh, they're really slimy now. Oh!
752
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:52,920
{\an8}Put all of the fortune cookies in a
bowl of, in a bowl of vinegar.
753
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:56,320
{\an2}So, 30 seconds. You put 30 seconds
on the clock, yeah, here we go.
754
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:57,440
{\an2}Can I have the bill, please?
755
00:37:58,520 --> 00:37:59,680
{\an2}They're complementary.
756
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:03,000
{\an2}Stop the clock.
757
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,640
{\an2}Very clever with the hot sauce
avoidance, though.
758
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:12,760
{\an2}Yeah.
759
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,480
{\an2}He was delighted by it. Yeah.
760
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,600
{\an2}Yeah, clever when you want to be.
761
00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,960
{\an2}Emma, just a little observation.
762
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,160
{\an2}You became a weird South African
character.
763
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:30,520
{\an2}Did I? Yeah. Hmm. You said,
764
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,520
{\an2}IN A SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT: "Stop the
clock."
765
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,120
{\an2}You got that? Yeah. Here we go.
766
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:36,720
{\an2}IN A SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT: Stop the
clock.
767
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:44,640
{\an2}That's Part Three done.
768
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,960
{\an8}Join us back here for the final part
of the show.
769
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,000
{\an2}We'll see you in a bit.
770
00:38:58,040 --> 00:38:59,480
{\an2}Hello!
771
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,840
{\an2}We're back for the final part of the
show
772
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:04,560
{\an2}but there's still a task left
to complete.
773
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,720
{\an2}Correctamundo Gregalicious. Oh.
774
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,000
{\an2}Fortune cookies is the name of
the game
775
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,480
{\an2}and there's just one man left to eat
776
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,120
{\an2}and obey five fortune cookies as
fast as possible.
777
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,720
{\an2}So let's go from A to Z with Andy
Zaltzman.
778
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,720
{\an2}OK I don't have to do it in order,
do I? What does it say?
779
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,520
{\an2}Well, it says, "Keep your mouth open
for the rest of the task."
780
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:23,760
{\an2}I think I'll do that one last.
781
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,520
{\an2}I think you have to do them in
the order you open them.
782
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:28,480
{\an2}No, you do not.
783
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,440
{\an2}Phone a friend and tell them that
you're in the bath.
784
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,480
{\an2}You must not explain yourself.
785
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:39,680
{\an2}All right.
786
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:42,080
{\an2}Hi.
787
00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:43,200
{\an2}Hi, I'm in the bath.
788
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:44,800
{\an2}Who phoned who? I didn't phone you,
did I?
789
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,040
{\an2}I don't know that, mate.
790
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:47,640
{\an2}Anyway I'm in the... I think you
phoned me.
791
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:48,680
{\an2}OK.
792
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,320
{\an2}Sorry, well, I'm in the bath so I
can't talk.
793
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,440
{\an2}All right, bud. Yeah, all right,
bud.
794
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,280
{\an2}Lovely talking to you.
795
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,360
{\an2}That was, er, that was Daniel
Kitson.
796
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,240
{\an2}Retrieve the pineapple from the
kitchen.
797
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:58,280
{\an2}Right.
798
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:01,080
{\an2}HE LAUGHS
Oh, it's laugh for 30 seconds.
799
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:05,600
{\an1}CONTINUES LAUGHING
800
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:06,960
{\an2}Oh, bollocks!
801
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,000
{\an2}If you get this fortune cookie you
must start all over again.
802
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,240
{\an2}That is a real shame.
803
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,800
{\an8}Put all of the fortune cookies in
a bowl of hot sauce
804
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:13,920
{\an2}and leave them for 30 seconds.
805
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:16,960
{\an2}Put all of the fortune cookies in
a bowl of hot salty water
806
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,240
{\an2}and leave them for 30 seconds.
807
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:19,880
{\an2}If I do the hot sauce first then
that'll be washed off by
808
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,880
{\an2}the salty water.
809
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,120
{\an2}OK shout the word yes for 30 seconds.
810
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:33,000
{\an2}Yeeeeeees!
811
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:34,520
{\an2}Yes!
812
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:35,720
{\an2}Yes!
813
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,160
{\an2}I'm gonna need some milk.
814
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:47,000
{\an2}Don the medallion.
815
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,040
{\an2}Oy, you'll never guess what was
er, with the medallion.
816
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,680
{\an2}There was a, a, load more fortune
cookies.
817
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:00,080
{\an2}Hmm, I like that one. Yeah, five.
818
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:01,120
{\an2}What does it say?
819
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:02,960
{\an2}Clap. Let me just finish my milk.
OK.
820
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:06,040
{\an2}Stop the clock.
821
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:11,680
{\an2}Incredible.
822
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,440
{\an2}That Jedi mind trick at the top.
823
00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,880
{\an2}I've never seen Alex silent so
quickly.
824
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:22,280
{\an2}The key I found with Alex is that if
he's like whimpering
825
00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,440
{\an2}and crying in the night you've just
gotta leave him till the morning.
826
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,360
{\an2}Let him cry. I've said it before.
827
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,200
{\an2}I've said that to his wife. Yeah,
yeah. Let him cry.
828
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:33,440
{\an2}I wish that was a joke.
829
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,000
{\an2}I want to celebrate the fact that he
was the only person,
830
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:40,320
{\an2}when told to shout yes for 30
seconds,
831
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,720
{\an2}decided to do it in one yes.
832
00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:45,400
{\an2}Yes.
833
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:46,440
{\an2}How did he do?
834
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,120
{\an2}Emma was four minutes 23,
Jack five minutes 33,
835
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:53,040
{\an2}Rosie 11 minutes 24, Andy 13 minutes
44
836
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,680
{\an2}and then Baba was last
with 20 minutes 15.
837
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:57,440
{\an2}So Emma gets the full five points.
Oh.
838
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,360
{\an2}One last look at the scores, then.
839
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,960
{\an2}I'm gonna tell you the series scores,
if that's all right.
840
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,000
{\an2}Yes, please.
841
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,520
{\an2}It's getting tighter and tighter.
842
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,360
{\an2}Rosie you're on 90 points, Baba 101,
843
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,800
{\an2}Emma 102, Andy 102, Jack 108.
844
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:14,280
{\an2}So well done, Jack.
845
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:17,360
{\an2}Guess what? What?
846
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,440
{\an2}Hey. You're not gonna believe this.
847
00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:22,040
{\an2}It's time for them to head to
848
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,280
{\an2}the stage for the final task of
the show.
849
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:31,560
{\an2}Hello, there!
850
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:32,920
{\an2}Who's gonna read the task out?
851
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,720
{\an2}I'd like Rosie to read the task,
please.
852
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:35,760
{\an2}Rosie Jones.
853
00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:43,240
{\an2}Throw a beanbag onto the island.
854
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:50,560
{\an2}If you knock over a can, you are
disqualified.
855
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:52,680
{\an2}Wow.
856
00:42:52,720 --> 00:43:00,720
{\an2}If you miss the island, you are
disqualified.
857
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:08,960
{\an2}Last player standing wins.
858
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,280
{\an2}Emma's in first place, please make
your way to the throwing tower.
859
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,040
{\an2}Take one beanbag with you.
860
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:19,560
{\an2}Can I see it from... Oh, yeah, fair
enough.
861
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,640
{\an2}Could you not see it from oh,
you hadn't zoomed out?
862
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:24,680
{\an2}Er, yeah...
863
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,680
{\an2}Emma Sidi let's play Don't Knock
A Can Down Beanbag Island.
864
00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,240
{\an2}Oh, God!
865
00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:33,520
{\an2}Aargh!!
866
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,560
{\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS
867
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,520
{\an2}She has missed the island and is
disqualified.
868
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:38,600
{\an2}Bye-bye, Emma.
869
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:39,720
{\an2}No! No!
870
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:40,960
{\an2}Emma, oh, Emma.
871
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,120
{\an2}Next up, it's Andy.
872
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:45,800
{\an2}The awesome warrior.
873
00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:50,560
{\an2}Lovely.
874
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,200
{\an2}Safely through to Round Two.
875
00:43:57,520 --> 00:43:58,520
{\an2}Next up, it's Baba.
876
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:03,240
{\an2}He's through.
877
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:04,400
{\an2}Lovely.
878
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:05,440
{\an2}Lovely.
879
00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:07,000
{\an2}It's Rosie Jones to throw.
880
00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:08,120
{\an2}Rosie Jones.
881
00:44:12,720 --> 00:44:14,160
{\an2}This doesn't look good.
882
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,080
{\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS
883
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:21,680
{\an2}She's out. We've lost her.
884
00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:26,520
{\an2}Finally in Round One it's Jack Dee.
885
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:30,160
{\an2}Do you understand it, Jack?
886
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,320
{\an2}Seriously? Ah.
887
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,640
{\an2}We've lost Jack. Jack is out.
888
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,440
{\an2}So we return to Andy Zaltzman.
889
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,280
{\an2}You have to throw two beanbags in
Round Two.
890
00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:52,600
{\an2}Ooh. Three in Round Three.
891
00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:53,760
{\an2}The heat is on.
892
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:02,400
{\an2}Round Two.
893
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:12,600
{\an2}Lovely.
894
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:13,640
{\an2}Lovely.
895
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,840
{\an2}There's one more to go.
896
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:17,920
{\an2}Can he repeat that?
897
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,440
{\an2}He lobs.
898
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:24,800
{\an2}Hey.
899
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,800
{\an2}Incredible.
900
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,680
{\an2}Ah, this ain't fair.
901
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:33,760
{\an2}Hello, Baba.
902
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:34,880
{\an2}This ain't fair, is it?
903
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,520
{\an2}We have provided a little hole, Baba,
if you want it.
904
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:38,560
{\an2}What?
905
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:39,680
{\an2}There's a peep hole, Baba.
906
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:42,280
{\an2}What am I gonna do with that?
907
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:49,920
{\an2}Safe. Lovely. Yes!
908
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:51,120
{\an2}Lovely.
909
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,440
{\an2}Oh!
910
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:04,560
{\an2}Baba.
911
00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:07,960
{\an2}Well done, Andy Zaltzman.
912
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,920
{\an2}Let's see how those points have
affected the total scores.
913
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,320
{\an2}Come down here and join me.
914
00:46:19,960 --> 00:46:21,560
{\an2}Pretty thrilling stuff. It was.
915
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,360
{\an2}Because three people went out
immediately they share joint third.
916
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:27,080
{\an2}That was Emma, Jack and Rosie.
917
00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:28,840
{\an2}Baba gets four points for coming
second
918
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,080
{\an2}but the winner is, of course, Mr Andy
Zaltzman. He gets five points.
919
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:36,360
{\an2}But the winner of this episode was
Emma Sidi with 22 points.
920
00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,880
{\an2}Whoa! Emma Sidi wins.
921
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:40,920
{\an2}Ah.
922
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,760
{\an2}Please head up to hold up your
holdable prizes.
923
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:11,680
{\an8}Subtitles by Red Bee Media