1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,120 {\an2}This programme contains strong language and adult humour 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:05,640 {\an1}SHE SCREAMS HE SCREAMS 3 00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,280 {\an2}Oh. BABATUNDE SCREAMS 4 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:12,480 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 5 00:00:12,520 --> 00:00:13,520 {\an1}EMMA SCREAMS 6 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:16,520 {\an1}ROBOT BLEEPS 7 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:17,560 {\an2}Oh, you're useless at this. 8 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:20,600 {\an1}HE SCREAMS 9 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:21,800 {\an2}EMMA HONKS Boop. 10 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:22,840 {\an1}JACK WAILS 11 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:36,240 {\an2}Hello, I'm Greg Davies 12 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:41,800 {\an2}and welcome to the Taskmaster Grand Final. 13 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,800 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 14 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:52,000 {\an2}What a ride we have been on. So many highs, so many lows. 15 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,880 {\an2}But who will have accumulated the points to take home 16 00:00:54,920 --> 00:01:00,720 {\an2}the golden fibreglass effigy of the lord high priest of silver foxes? 17 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:03,080 {\an2}Well, let's get on and find out. 18 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,600 {\an2}Please, give them all an enormous round of applause 19 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:08,920 {\an2}as I welcome our almighty five for the final time. 20 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:13,560 {\an2}Andy Zaltzman... CHEERING 21 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,920 {\an2}..Babatunde Aleshe... CHEERING 22 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,840 {\an2}..Emma Sidi... CHEERING 23 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:22,640 {\an2}..Jack Dee... CHEERING 24 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:27,120 {\an2}..and Rosie Jones. CHEERING 25 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,840 {\an2}And next to me, a man who is adamant that all of 26 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:35,560 {\an2}the shops in his local high street, Chesham, are poorly presented, 27 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:40,600 {\an2}overpriced and owned by people who make uniquely tedious small talk. 28 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER 29 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,400 {\an2}CHUCKLING: It's... HE CHUCKLES 30 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,360 {\an2}HIGH PITCHED: It's Little Alex Ho-o-o-orne. 31 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,040 {\an1}APPLAUSE 32 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,760 {\an2}Oh, I'm in such a good mood, Greg. Why are you in such a good mood? 33 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:57,680 {\an2}Well, I've got the latest edition of my favourite magazine. 34 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:01,600 {\an2}I subscribe, obviously, to... Erm, to Sugar Guys, love Sugar Guys. 35 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,880 {\an8}We made the cover of Sugar Guys, me and you. 36 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,360 {\an2}Oh, great. First time. "Greg and Alex make our list." 37 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,000 {\an2}Make our list. We made the top ten. 38 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,000 {\an2}OK. Yeah, what's the list for? 39 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,320 {\an2}Oh, it's top ten people you've never seen sprinting, 40 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,880 {\an2}but you imagine would be surprisingly powerful runners. 41 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,120 {\an2}Springsteen at one, 42 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:22,760 {\an2}Davies number three. I'm just ahead of Kaplinsky. 43 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,480 {\an1}GREG CHUCKLES 44 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:25,640 {\an2}Urgh! 45 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,160 {\an2}Let's crack on, shall we? 46 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,720 {\an2}What is the last prize task of the series, Alex? 47 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,640 {\an2}Well, this one is certainly fitting for a tense final like this, 48 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,800 {\an2}because you asked them to bring in the thing most likely 49 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,880 {\an2}to make your buttocks clench. LAUGHTER 50 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:43,360 {\an2}Yes. 51 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,280 {\an2}Buttocks clenched and sphincter closed, 52 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,320 {\an2}nothing out, nor in, shall go. 53 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,920 {\an2}Five... LAUGHTER 54 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,640 {\an2}Five points for the most buttock-clenching thing 55 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,880 {\an2}and a dream start to the final for the person who brought it in. 56 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,480 {\an2}So, let's all loosen up and get ready to clench. Here we go. 57 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,360 {\an2}OK, Baba, welcome to the final. 58 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,680 {\an2}What have you brought in that might make one's buttocks clench? 59 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,640 {\an2}So, I brought in something that I'm genuinely afraid of. 60 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,200 {\an2}Here he is. 61 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 62 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,080 {\an2}I am genuinely afraid of frogs. 63 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,680 {\an2}They are demons from hell. 64 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:20,800 {\an2}Even if you're not scared, 65 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,880 {\an2}if you just saw that jump out of nowhere... Yeah. 66 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,480 {\an2}..your buttocks would clench up. 67 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,040 {\an2}I don't know whether they would, Baba. 68 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,280 {\an2}Let's say you're just, like, you know, sitting at home 69 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,680 {\an2}and a frog just decided, "Hey, what's up, Greg?" 70 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,760 {\an2}You telling me you're not gonna be like, "Ah." 71 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,160 {\an2}Is the frog phobia a thing? 72 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,480 {\an2}Yes, it is called ranidaphobia. It's an intense fear of frogs and toads. 73 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,760 {\an2}Yeah, and I... Ah. 74 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:43,360 {\an2}I have that and so this is a genuine fear of mine. Right. 75 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,080 {\an2}Cos some people'll lick a frog, won't they? 76 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,840 {\an2}Yes, they would. And they are called crack heads. 77 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,520 {\an2}It's not a bad opener by Baba's standards. OK. 78 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:55,760 {\an2}Andy. Erm, yeah. 79 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,360 {\an2}What have you brought in that will make my buttocks clench? 80 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,760 {\an2}Ah, I've, erm, brought in a... Well, a padlock. 81 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,440 {\an2}He's brought in this. 82 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:07,120 {\an8}That's what Andy's brought in. A broken padlock. 83 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:11,120 {\an2}So, that's obviously, initially, pretty scary, isn't it? Yeah. 84 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:13,360 {\an2}Where do you think those lions are, Greg? Oh, God. 85 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:18,960 {\an1}LIONS ROAR 86 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,200 {\an2}Have we got an interpretation? Yes. 87 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,720 {\an2}Oh, we've... We've got a lion interpreter? Yeah, we have. 88 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,160 {\an2}I've got an app. Here we go, this is what they were saying. 89 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,920 {\an2}DEEP VOICE: Gregory, I eat tall people. 90 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,200 {\an2}Can we meet for lunch? 91 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,680 {\an2}Wow. Quite a lot going on there, Greg. 92 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:42,280 {\an2}It is not often that you get to see a breakdown in real time. 93 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,000 {\an2}Jack. With permission, I'll approach. 94 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,720 {\an2}Erm, approach. Erm, and I need to... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 95 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,440 {\an2}Well, you haven't got permission. I... I need you... I need you... 96 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,000 {\an2}Interestingly, my buttocks did just clench. 97 00:04:55,040 --> 00:05:00,960 {\an2}Yeah. It's very especially important that you close your eyes. 98 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,240 {\an2}Nothing... You... You won't be hurt, but it's... 99 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,160 {\an2}It's the sound that will make your buttocks clench. 100 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,840 {\an1}GLOVES SNAP 101 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,800 {\an2}Oh, Christ, is he putting rubber gloves on? 102 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:17,040 {\an2}OK. Are you experiencing any anal...? Anal movement, at all? 103 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,120 {\an2}Erm... Little bit of sphinchtal twitching going on there. 104 00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:23,120 {\an2}I didn't expect to say this on television, but, genuinely, I am. 105 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:28,920 {\an2}OK. So, it's just... It's OK. Eyes closed. 106 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:30,680 {\an2}Right, be with you in a minute, Mr Davies. 107 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,880 {\an2}LUBE SQUELCHES What's that sound? 108 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,680 {\an2}Does that make you...? It's... It's lube. 109 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,000 {\an2}Lube going on, lube going on. It's lube, yeah. 110 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,480 {\an2}Yeah, and then the final thing. 111 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:45,400 {\an2}And I have to admit, this is what got me going when it happened. 112 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,040 {\an2}It's this... 113 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,960 {\an1}DRILL WHIRS 114 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,000 {\an2}I think that says it all. Yeah? 115 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,120 {\an2}Well. I mean, I thought we were just having a bit of fun, 116 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:59,840 {\an2}but genuinely my bum has never been more closed. 117 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,080 {\an2}Incredible. 118 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,800 {\an2}Emma Sidi, what buttock-clenching object have you brought us? 119 00:06:07,840 --> 00:06:09,960 {\an2}Right. Oh. 120 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,240 {\an2}I've brought in a special stick. Yeah? 121 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,800 {\an2}Could have many different names. 122 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,760 {\an2}Maybe a tickle stick, or a feather stick, 123 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,080 {\an2}or just The Stick. 124 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,080 {\an2}Definitely not The Stick. 125 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,640 {\an2}Why are you...? Your stance is so aggressive. 126 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,280 {\an2}All right. OK. 127 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:46,480 {\an2}No, I... I don't like it. 128 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,520 {\an2}I'm sorry about that, but how are your buttocks? 129 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,240 {\an2}Tight. 130 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:54,480 {\an2}These are the strangest selection of prizes we've ever had. 131 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:55,680 {\an2}Do you want a go on it? No, thank you. 132 00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:57,240 {\an2}All right. 133 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,440 {\an2}And, now... 134 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,920 {\an2}..the person I have been most afraid to ask this question to. 135 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,400 {\an2}How are you going to make my buttocks clench? 136 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:13,960 {\an2}My attempt to clench your buttocks 137 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:20,200 {\an2}involves opening mine. 138 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:31,720 {\an2}I have brought my used enema. 139 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:36,240 {\an1}CROWD GROAN 140 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,840 {\an2}Lovely. Lovely bit of kit, lovely bit of kit. 141 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:45,240 {\an2}I don't know how tight my buttocks are. You monster. 142 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:50,480 {\an2}Just imagine doing that. 143 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,920 {\an2}Or imagine me doing that. LAUGHTER 144 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,040 {\an2}What am I imagining? 145 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,200 {\an2}You doing it to me, or you doing it in front of me? 146 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,040 {\an2}Dream scenario... 147 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,640 {\an2}..we'd be doing it together. 148 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:12,320 {\an2}Erm, it sounds weird, but I'd like to be there, too. 149 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,400 {\an2}OK. All right. I guess, loosest to tightest. 150 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,960 {\an2}I'm gonna give Baba two points. Ah. 151 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,960 {\an2}Cos it's the Grand Final. Two points to Baba. 152 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,120 {\an2}Three points to Andy Zaltzman. Three points to Andy Zaltzman. 153 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,120 {\an2}Yeah, and four points to Rosie Jones. Four points to Rosie, right. 154 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,800 {\an2}Now... We don't have much room to move. 155 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,240 {\an2}No, I know, so I either give someone else four points, 156 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,560 {\an2}or I give them both five points. Oh. 157 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,680 {\an2}Cos they both stressed me out. I'll give them both five points. 158 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,560 {\an2}OK, five to Emma and to Jack. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 159 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,560 {\an2}Right, what's the first proper task, little Alex Horne? 160 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,440 {\an2}Well, Greg, we're off to the movies. 161 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,360 {\an2}SHE CHUCKLES Ah. 162 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,960 {\an2}"Say how many chairs are in this cinema." 163 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,320 {\an2}There's loads. 164 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:26,840 {\an2}"You may only give one answer." 165 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:28,960 {\an2}OK, well, that weren't my answer. ALEX: OK. 166 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,320 {\an2}That weren't my answer. 167 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:35,600 {\an2}"You must not say any numbers 168 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:39,400 {\an2}"until you give your answer." 169 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,680 {\an2}"And you must say the name of every object 170 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:49,800 {\an2}"that appears on the screen." Oh, OK, so, teapot. 171 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,080 {\an2}So, what, I've gotta keep counting and spin around to see the objects? 172 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,520 {\an2}Without saying any numbers. 173 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:56,280 {\an2}"If you miss an object, one minute will be added 174 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,560 {\an2}"to your time. For every chair you get wrong, 175 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,600 {\an2}"one minute will be added to your time. 176 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:06,640 {\an2}"You have a maximum of ten wickets..." Ten wickets? 177 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:09,440 {\an2}"You have a maximum of ten minutes." 178 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,640 {\an2}Fastest correct answer wins. 179 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,920 {\an2}Mm-hm. Did you take any of that in? No. 180 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,800 {\an2}No, it didn't feel like you were. 181 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,680 {\an2}"Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle." Good luck. 182 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,640 {\an2}Don't. Don't blow your whistle just yet. OK, why not? 183 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:25,720 {\an2}Please, just give me mm-minutes to think. 184 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,680 {\an2}I'm not gonna do that. WHISTLE BLOWS 185 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:28,720 {\an2}OK. 186 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,960 {\an2}What's the deal with saying numbers out loud? 187 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,120 {\an2}Yes, so all they've gotta do is say how many chairs there are in 188 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,280 {\an2}the cinema. I get it. 189 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:40,440 {\an2}If they say any number, that is their answer. Got it. 190 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,800 {\an2}OK, the trailers have finished, 191 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,320 {\an2}let's settle down for the main event. 192 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,880 {\an2}And it's front Rosie seats for Jones. 193 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:47,840 {\an2}Teapot 194 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,040 {\an2}I'm coming down. 195 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:54,440 {\an2}Horse. 196 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,000 {\an2}Rabbit. Rabbit. 197 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:58,400 {\an2}Elephant. 198 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,560 {\an2}Eggcup. 199 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,400 {\an2}Tortoise. It is a tortoise. 200 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:11,000 {\an2}Erm, Taskmaster house. Robin. 201 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:12,480 {\an2}Robin. 202 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,200 {\an2}Eagle. Are you going to touch every single chair? 203 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:19,040 {\an2}Yeah. Plug. 204 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,720 {\an2}Erm, it's, sort of, more of a, well, extension lead, but fine. 205 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,440 {\an2}Three. 206 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,480 {\an2}Three! 207 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,560 {\an1}SHE SCREAMS 208 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,920 {\an2}Pardon. Didn't quite hear that. 209 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,600 {\an2}Hedgehogs. 210 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:40,600 {\an2}Oh, what's the point any more? 211 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,480 {\an2}In life? Yeah. 212 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,400 {\an2}Oh, Alex. 213 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:50,640 {\an2}Ostrich. Not really, no, it's a smaller bird than an ostrich. 214 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,680 {\an2}Emu. 215 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,560 {\an2}Has there ever been captured on film 216 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:05,560 {\an2}a sadder cry than, "Oh, Alex. Ostrich." 217 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:11,360 {\an2}I was feeling confident. Yeah. 218 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:18,080 {\an2}And then that happened and I was so upset. Oh. 219 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,880 {\an2}She was. Oh, yeah. 220 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,280 {\an2}Yeah, you told me you got distracted by the hedgehog...and said three. 221 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,560 {\an2}We've got a double bill now. 222 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:30,760 {\an2}We've got In-SID-ious with Emma 223 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:35,440 {\an2}and everybody's favourite superhero film, it's Zaltzman. Here we go. 224 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,960 {\an2}Teapot. Correct. 225 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,600 {\an2}Horsey. 226 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,280 {\an2}OK, eggcup. 227 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,520 {\an2}Teacup. It's... It's an eggcup, actually. 228 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:45,600 {\an2}I drink tea out of eggcups. 229 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:46,920 {\an2}All right, elephant. 230 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,840 {\an2}House. 231 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,040 {\an2}House facade. 232 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,720 {\an2}House, erm... Yeah, lovely. House facade. 233 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:03,880 {\an2}House facade, yeah. 234 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,160 {\an2}Robin. Robin. 235 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,960 {\an2}Erm, eagle. 236 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,600 {\an2}It is an eagle. Do you like eagles? 237 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:14,040 {\an2}Couldn't eat a whole one. 238 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,160 {\an2}Stuffed eagle. It's not stuffed. 239 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,920 {\an2}All right. Can I have a pen? 240 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,960 {\an2}Please. Please. 241 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,080 {\an2}Robot. My nemesis. 242 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,760 {\an2}Robot. Oh, I love that robot. 243 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,160 {\an2}How can I tell if there's chairs in those booths? 244 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,400 {\an2}Stop the clock. Triangle. 245 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,400 {\an2}Well, I can't... It's not really a stop... No, 318. 246 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,160 {\an2}I have now stopped the clock. 247 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,640 {\an2}Looks like no chairs there. Right. 248 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:41,520 {\an2}328. 249 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,960 {\an2}SHE SIGHS If there's secret chair... 250 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,600 {\an2}No secret chairs. All right. 251 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:49,960 {\an2}OK. Thank you. 252 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,320 {\an2}Bye-bye. 253 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,600 {\an2}Did either of them see the little chairs? They did not. 254 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,400 {\an2}I saw the little chairs, I just didn't wanna stoop 255 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:01,960 {\an2}to your fucking level, so... 256 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,920 {\an2}Andy only missed four things on the screen. 257 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,120 {\an2}Emma only missed an envelope. 258 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:07,760 {\an2}Thing is, they think I was sneaky with the little chairs, 259 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,520 {\an2}but I was actually very helpful with this task. 260 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,960 {\an2}I made the film to help them along. 261 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,640 {\an2}I'm a helpful guy. Here is the film again. 262 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,400 {\an2}The first letters of all 263 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,160 {\an2}the objects, every time, spelt out, "Three, three, three." 264 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,520 {\an2}There weren't three chairs, they were 333 chairs. 265 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,000 {\an2}No, man. Baba, I'll say this for you. 266 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,320 {\an2}The only person who would work that out hasn't got a friend in the world. 267 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,360 {\an2}But, look, it was fastest correct answer wins. 268 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,760 {\an2}So, every chair away from the correct answer counts as 269 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:47,920 {\an2}a minute. So far, we have 270 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,440 {\an2}Rosie coming in at 338 minutes 39 seconds. 271 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:55,000 {\an2}Could be crucial. We have Emma on 19:18 272 00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:58,480 {\an2}and we have Andy on 13:19 seconds, in the lead at the moment. 273 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:03,720 {\an2}That is the first part of 274 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,640 {\an2}the final complete, just three parts left for them 275 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,080 {\an2}to grab hold of every point possible. 276 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,560 {\an2}And let's not forget, there's a hot dog yet to make 277 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,880 {\an2}an appearance. Quick, go and have a wee, 278 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:15,720 {\an2}things are about to get cray-cray. 279 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,520 {\an2}Hello, welcome back to the Taskmaster final, 280 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,760 {\an2}where there's a task of cinematic proportions taking place. 281 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:37,160 {\an2}Oh, yes, it's a blockbuster, Greg, just like that Bob Holness film. 282 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,640 {\an2}The task is to say how many chairs there are in the cinema. 283 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,240 {\an2}They can only give one answer 284 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,280 {\an2}and must list the objects that appear on the screen. 285 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,920 {\an2}Fastest wins. If they miss an object, or get a chair wrong, 286 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,680 {\an2}one minute will be added to their time. 287 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,200 {\an2}Just two icons of the screen left to go, it's Jack Dee 288 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,040 {\an2}and Babatunde Aleshe. 289 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,160 {\an2}Teapot. 290 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,400 {\an2}Well, is that it? Erm... 291 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:00,880 {\an2}Horse. 292 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:03,760 {\an2}Erm, rabbit. 293 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,000 {\an2}Egg cup. Correct. 294 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,040 {\an2}Hey. 295 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:10,560 {\an1}KLAXON HONKS 296 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,200 {\an1}KLAXON HONKS 297 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:17,040 {\an2}Can I walk around? OK. KLAXON HONKS 298 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,320 {\an2}Elephant. 299 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,880 {\an2}Erm, tortoise. That's right, Jack. 300 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,840 {\an2}What? Correct, it is a tortoise, yeah. 301 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,240 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah. 302 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,120 {\an2}House. 303 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,720 {\an2}Erm... Erm, it's a robin. 304 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,920 {\an2}Erm, bird. Nearly. 305 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,000 {\an2}Eagle. Correct. 306 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,120 {\an2}Hey. 307 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,280 {\an2}One of those exercise balls. 308 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,160 {\an2}Yeah, looks like a lime at first, doesn't it? 309 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,200 {\an2}No. 310 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,720 {\an2}Oh, triangle. 311 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:48,720 {\an2}Stop, man, you're getting on my nerves. 312 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,720 {\an2}I've got this calculation I'm trying to do in my head 313 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,280 {\an2}and it isn't easy. 314 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:54,400 {\an2}Ear. Wait. 315 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:56,600 {\an2}You never said I can't use a calculator. 316 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,800 {\an2}This is why I'm smart, you know. Work smarter, not harder, my guy. 317 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:07,600 {\an2}326 seats. 318 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:10,720 {\an2}345. That's a lot, isn't it? 319 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,040 {\an2}Well, it's a cinema, isn't it? 320 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,640 {\an2}You were on it, right? I was on it, man. 321 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:21,960 {\an2}Used a calculator. Yeah. 322 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,720 {\an2}Fast, upbeat. You, as usual... I wasn't using a calculator, 323 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,840 {\an2}I was calling my agent at that point. 324 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,400 {\an2}333 is the actual answer. 325 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,600 {\an2}Yeah, so Baba was only seven chairs out. 326 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,280 {\an2}We know that Andy got a total of 13 minutes, 19 seconds. 327 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,400 {\an2}Baba, 12 minutes, 36 seconds. 328 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:43,520 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Yeah! 329 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:45,400 {\an2}But I need you to look at something before I 330 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,480 {\an2}try to work out what score Jack gets. 331 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,920 {\an2}Have a watch of this, Jack. 332 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,280 {\an2}I've got a small calculation to do in my head. Erm, it's a robin. 333 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:55,440 {\an2}Yeah. Erm, hang on. Three... 334 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:59,880 {\an2}REPEATED: Three. Three. Three. Three. 335 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:01,160 {\an1}HE SIGHS 336 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,840 {\an2}Now, then, Greg. Did the man say three out loud? 337 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,120 {\an2}Course I bloody said it. You know... Oh, right. 338 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,160 {\an2}Which means Baba does get the five points. 339 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,720 {\an2}Andy, four, three to Emma. Great. 340 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,800 {\an2}Rosie, you get two points. Ah. 341 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,240 {\an2}Jack, his score was over five hours, 38 minutes, unbelievably. 342 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,240 {\an2}Two points to Rosie, one to Jack Dee. 343 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,680 {\an2}Yes! 344 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:29,680 {\an2}Wow. Let's see these chumps up on the scoreboard, young fellow m'lad. 345 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,200 {\an2}Yes, I can tell you there are now only four points separating first 346 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,200 {\an2}and second place in the series. THEY GASP AND COO 347 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,720 {\an2}Exciting. Ooh. 348 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,080 {\an2}And this particular episode, Jack and Rosie in last place on six. 349 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:42,480 {\an2}Emma's in the lead on eight. SHE GASPS 350 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,920 {\an2}Oh, shit. 351 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:47,800 {\an2}Very good, what's next? 352 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:51,320 {\an2}Well, Greg, it's time to make good choices. Oh. 353 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,320 {\an2}Baba. How you doing? You OK? 354 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,120 {\an2}Yeah, I'm good. 355 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,840 {\an2}I've got that at home. How often do you yoga? 356 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:20,440 {\an2}I don't yoga, I plank. You plank. 357 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:26,080 {\an2}For days. Honestly, I've got guns. 358 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,920 {\an2}Oh. 359 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,240 {\an2}Thank you. 360 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,640 {\an2}Thank you. SHE CHUCKLES 361 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:40,840 {\an2}"Either..." OK, that's why it had either on it. On the paddle. 362 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,200 {\an2}Yeah, well, it was an oar. Is it called The Either Oar? 363 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,800 {\an2}Is that what you call it? OK. Not the either paddle. 364 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,280 {\an2}OK. 365 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:51,760 {\an2}"Either throw five fives in a row." "Or..." 366 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:59,560 {\an2}"Do 100 press ups." You know my guns. 367 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,600 {\an2}"Or... 368 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,480 {\an2}"Eat a raw onion." That definitely ain't happening. 369 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:08,000 {\an2}"Or..." "Find the needle in the haystack." 370 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,280 {\an2}Where the hell is the haystack, man? 371 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,040 {\an2}"Or..." 372 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,480 {\an2}"Sit silently for ten minutes. 373 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,800 {\an2}"You may only attempt two of these things. 374 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,040 {\an2}"Fastest wins, your time starts now." 375 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,720 {\an2}I mean, 100 press ups is not... 376 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,040 {\an2}Is not a thing you wanna do on camera. No. 377 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,960 {\an2}Cos I had a curry last night. Oh, yeah? 378 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000 {\an2}Mm. 379 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,480 {\an2}Well, I'm sure I speak for the nation when I say I would love 380 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:38,120 {\an2}to see Jack Dee shit himself on television whilst doing press ups, 381 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:39,520 {\an2}but that's not gonna happen. 382 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,880 {\an2}Well, first to make their beds and lie in them are Baba 383 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,080 {\an2}and Rosie. Here we go. 384 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:49,960 {\an2}Big man, I am sitting silently for ten minutes. 385 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,680 {\an2}I just wanna let everybody know, you might hear my belly rumble, 386 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:57,120 {\an2}make some noise. Don't panic, I'm just hungry. 387 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,280 {\an8}Do you think you can do that for ten minutes? 388 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,840 {\an2}Oh. You could eat an onion on the mat, or do press ups. 389 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,200 {\an2}Ah, did you remember the rules? 390 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,320 {\an2}One... SHE GIGGLES 391 00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,680 {\an2}..two, three. 392 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,560 {\an2}Ah. Ooh. 393 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,800 {\an2}38. How's your silence going? 394 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,560 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 395 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,280 {\an2}Are you...? Are you having many thoughts? 396 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:57,840 {\an2}Are you mainly thinking about Greg? 397 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,320 {\an2}Me? 398 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,680 {\an2}Food? 399 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:08,600 {\an2}79, 70... 400 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,400 {\an2}I'm not giving you that one, Rosie, that's 78. 401 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,080 {\an2}Do you think you've finished? 402 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,400 {\an2}Cos the clock's been going for more than ten minutes now. 403 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:29,720 {\an1}SHE STRAINS 404 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,800 {\an2}Yes. I've stopped the clock. 405 00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,600 {\an8}Yes, I completed my task. 406 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,040 {\an2}Man stayed silent for ten minutes. 407 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,360 {\an8}Didn't have to eat no nasty-arse raw onion. 408 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,800 {\an8}Cos who the hell does that? What kind of sick-minded weirdos. 409 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:04,720 {\an2}I mean what sort of sick weirdo would eat a raw onion 410 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,120 {\an2}is what you were saying. Yes. 411 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:10,000 {\an2}But who would eat one recreationally? 412 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,040 {\an2}I was intrigued. 413 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,320 {\an2}By? Onions. 414 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:16,360 {\an2}OK. 415 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,640 {\an2}It took Baba 12 minutes, 15 seconds to sit silently 416 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:21,120 {\an2}for ten minutes. 417 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:26,280 {\an2}It took Rosie ten minutes and 20 seconds to do 100 press ups. 418 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,640 {\an2}Now, we're gonna see Jack and Andy. 419 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,440 {\an2}OK right. Give me a minute. 420 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,800 {\an2}I think I'll go looking for a haystack. 421 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,840 {\an2}OK. And once you find the haystack, you've then gotta find the needle. 422 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,520 {\an2}That's true. No, thank you for pointing that out. 423 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,760 {\an2}OK. Be prepared. I hope you don't consider this cheating. 424 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:55,200 {\an2}So, if I throw five fives in a row, I'll do that. 425 00:23:55,240 --> 00:24:00,280 {\an2}But the way I will do it is by adding up and subtracting. OK? OK. 426 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,200 {\an2}Right, we're gonna go with that. One. 427 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:12,800 {\an2}One, plus three. Plus six. That's ten. 428 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,600 {\an2}Are you saying that's two fives? Right. So, that's two fives. 429 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,680 {\an2}Oh, is it now? OK. I think it is. 430 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,560 {\an2}Does that count? Four. 431 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,000 {\an2}You've rolled a six. 432 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,960 {\an2}That's a five, look. I've crossed that one out. 433 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,520 {\an2}Well, there were six black dots on it. 434 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,680 {\an2}No, it's underneath the chalk. 435 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,080 {\an2}You are quite literally a hard taskmaster. 436 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:35,560 {\an2}Four. One, five. Another five. 437 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,640 {\an2}So, you've done three fives now. Yeah. 438 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,480 {\an2}One. Two. 439 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,640 {\an2}That's a six. 440 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,080 {\an2}And a four. So, there's two more fives. That's five fives. 441 00:24:46,120 --> 00:24:47,800 {\an2}Do you want me to stop the clock? Yeah. 442 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,560 {\an2}Four. Five. Stop the clock. 443 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,560 {\an2}I think I've invented a new game. 444 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,040 {\an2}I mean, it brings a bit of certainty to a world of...doubt. 445 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,520 {\an2}Well, now, you tell me what I'm gonna say. 446 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,440 {\an2}Congratulations? Well, I am actually, Andy. 447 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,360 {\an2}And, you know, I think it was quite clever. Right. 448 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,360 {\an2}He managed to throw five fives in 2:40. 449 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,080 {\an2}Yeah, the man's to be congratulated for 450 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:18,720 {\an2}a clever idea, don't you think? 451 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,800 {\an2}Now, Jack had an idea, as well. Yeah. 452 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,440 {\an2}I put it to you, your idea... 453 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,480 {\an2}..horse shit. 454 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:30,880 {\an2}Five fives, you wanted... 455 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:32,640 {\an2}That was what was wanted. Erm, it was. 456 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,720 {\an2}And that... You got the total... The sum total of five fives. 457 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:37,720 {\an2}He did throw 25 in consecutive rolls. Five fives. 458 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,400 {\an2}And he only got 25. 459 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,760 {\an2}I've said this before and I'll say it again, 460 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,640 {\an2}Alex gets cute and scared around Jack. 461 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,200 {\an2}You let him do it. So, it's cute and scared? 462 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,520 {\an2}And scared. Cute and scared. Little... "OK, Jack." 463 00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,600 {\an2}All I'm saying is that he threw 25 in a row, but, 464 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,240 {\an2}erm, you're right he didn't throw a single five. 465 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,680 {\an2}He fooled you with maths and with love. 466 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,520 {\an2}Sorry, Jack, I'm not allowing it, simple as that. 467 00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,680 {\an2}And, just like that, we're halfway through the final. 468 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,280 {\an2}What will our comedians do when it's all over? 469 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,600 {\an2}Well, they'll claim they're retired, 470 00:26:16,640 --> 00:26:19,480 {\an2}but is it retirement when the phone just stops ringing? 471 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,400 {\an2}We'll see you in a minute. 472 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:37,440 {\an2}Hello, and welcome back to the Taskmaster final where 473 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:41,360 {\an2}the atmosphere is electric. Ah. And so is my car, 474 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,760 {\an2}300 mile range, unless you turn on the radio, 475 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,640 {\an2}or open a window, then it's about 80. 476 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,680 {\an2}LAUGHTER The current task involves options. 477 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:49,800 {\an2}They've got to complete one 478 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,280 {\an2}of five different things as quickly as possible. 479 00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:55,600 {\an2}There's one person left. It's her, Emma Sidi. 480 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,880 {\an2}I'm gonna throw five fives in a row. To start off with. Yeah? 481 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:01,920 {\an2}OK. 482 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:07,320 {\an8}No. SHE LAUGHS 483 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,120 {\an8}You're just trying to make me eat this. 484 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:13,080 {\an8}But where's that haystack? 485 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,960 {\an8}I'm just gonna find it, OK, so I know what I'm dealing with. 486 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,000 {\an8}Sure. Wherever you want. 487 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,080 {\an1}SHE SIGHS 488 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,240 {\an2}Yeah, I'm gonna do the haystack one. 489 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,000 {\an2}Yeah, good idea. 490 00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:36,960 {\an2}Found it. 491 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,240 {\an2}I've found it. Yeah, that's the needle. 492 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,680 {\an2}You have to reward someone when they play a blinder. 493 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:48,040 {\an2}She's the only one who looked for the haystack. 494 00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,640 {\an2}She went looking for the haystack. There it was. 495 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:50,920 {\an2}It was a mini haystack, she found the needle. 496 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:52,040 {\an2}What else is to be said? 497 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,920 {\an2}We know that Baba took 12 minutes, Rosie ten minutes, 498 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:59,320 {\an2}Andy 2:40, Emma 1:52. 499 00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:00,840 {\an2}Ah. Yes. 500 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,960 {\an2}Very good. So, points-wise, Emma gets the five, 501 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,000 {\an2}we have four points to Andy, three to Rosie, 502 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,280 {\an2}two to Baba. Does Jack get zero? 503 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,560 {\an2}No, I mean there was some lateral thinking with Jack, 504 00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:14,320 {\an2}so that would be... Erm, especially in the final. 505 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,480 {\an2}It'd be mean spirited to give him nothing. 506 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,280 {\an2}So, I will, like you, give him one. 507 00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,720 {\an2}Very good, one point to Jack. There we go. 508 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,960 {\an2}One more task then, little Alex Horne. 509 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,920 {\an2}So, finally, let's gander at the goose. 510 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:38,240 {\an1}GEESE HONK 511 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:44,080 {\an1}GOOSE HONKS 512 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,160 {\an2}Might wanna put some, like, WD40 on that door, or something. 513 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,240 {\an2}Mad loud. 514 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:51,480 {\an2}Yes. 515 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:54,120 {\an2}Ah. 516 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,320 {\an2}Huh? 517 00:28:56,360 --> 00:29:00,320 {\an2}"Present The Goose." 518 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,640 {\an2}"Best The Goose wins." 519 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,720 {\an2}"You have a maximum of 30 minutes." 520 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,520 {\an2}"Your time starts now." 521 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,200 {\an2}Do I have to look for The Goose? 522 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,760 {\an2}I think you're gonna have to decide what The Goose is. 523 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,240 {\an2}Who comes up with this stuff, bruv? What am I...? 524 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,840 {\an2}I don't know how a goose acts. They don't do that, do they? 525 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,120 {\an2}That's a chicken. 526 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:27,840 {\an2}These are my favourite type of tasks. 527 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,560 {\an2}Open-ended madness. You didn't like it, did you, Baba? 528 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,760 {\an2}I did not like it. 529 00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:37,200 {\an2}I think... I think this was the task I reached my breaking point. 530 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,640 {\an2}Yeah. Are you ready to see The Goose? 531 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:41,840 {\an2}Let's play on. Let's start with this. 532 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:46,600 {\an2}She's cerebral, ballsy. It's... LAUGHTER 533 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:49,720 {\an2}..Rosie Jones. Wow. 534 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:53,440 {\an2}Madames, messieurs... 535 00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:55,920 {\an2}..bonjour. 536 00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:01,240 {\an2}Je vous presente Le Goose. 537 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,160 {\an1}DRAMATIC FLOURISH 538 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:09,040 {\an2}Honk. 539 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,520 {\an2}Honk. Honk. 540 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,160 {\an2}Back. 541 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:15,360 {\an2}Back. 542 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:18,320 {\an2}Stop. 543 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:20,480 {\an2}Lay. 544 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:24,200 {\an2}Honk! 545 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,680 {\an2}Lay. 546 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:28,720 {\an1}HE HONKS 547 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:31,160 {\an2}Lay. 548 00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:35,000 {\an1}HE SQUAWKS 549 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,800 {\an2}Now... 550 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,000 {\an2}..dance. 551 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:44,600 {\an1}SLOW PIANO PLAYS 552 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,920 {\an2}Bon. 553 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,040 {\an2}Bien. 554 00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:56,200 {\an2}Bien, monsieur. 555 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:01,400 {\an2}Good. I am...happy. 556 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,080 {\an1}DRAMATIC FLOURISH 557 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,120 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 558 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:12,080 {\an2}Wonderful and insane. 559 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,720 {\an2}All I can think to do, really, is just to, 560 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:18,680 {\an2}erm, drill down into who this woman is. She's French? 561 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,040 {\an2}She's French. 562 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,880 {\an2}Although, she has limited French. 563 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:24,880 {\an2}Oui. 564 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,640 {\an2}It was very powerful. Thank you. 565 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:35,680 {\an2}You're welcome. And I thought Alex did a very good job. 566 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,160 {\an2}Moving on... LAUGHTER 567 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,440 {\an2}All right. Who's next? 568 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:42,080 {\an2}Next, The Zaltz presents The Goose. 569 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:44,880 {\an2}The goose, 570 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:48,760 {\an2}one of nature's rarest and most enigmatic creatures. 571 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,200 {\an2}Go away. Fucking impostors. Away! 572 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:56,520 {\an2}Sorry. Where were we? 573 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:57,560 {\an1}BEEPING 574 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:01,480 {\an2}The goose, one of nature's rarest and most enigmatic creatures. 575 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,040 {\an2}We know so little about them, 576 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,920 {\an2}apart from that they're distantly related to this guy 577 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,320 {\an2}and they shouldn't be trusted near car windscreens. 578 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,440 {\an2}So, let's find out some more. 579 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:15,960 {\an2}So, how do gooses, or, as the scientists call them, geese 580 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:20,600 {\an2}actually mate? Well, until now, no-one has ever got footage 581 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,080 {\an2}of geese getting their goose on. 582 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:27,480 {\an2}As we see, the male goose, or gooch, attempts to attract 583 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,960 {\an2}the attention of the female goose, or google. 584 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,600 {\an2}And it does this with a display of its physical prowess... 585 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,440 {\an1}GOOSE HONKS 586 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:38,560 {\an2}..range of flight... 587 00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,600 {\an1}HONKING AND CRACKING 588 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,360 {\an2}..and, of course, its sense of humour. 589 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,600 {\an1}GOOSE HONKS 590 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,280 {\an1}OWL LAUGHS 591 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,520 {\an2}And, so the romance begins. 592 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,760 {\an1}DREAMY MUSIC 593 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,000 {\an2}This is a one-week-old goose egg. 594 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,080 {\an2}This is the same egg at six weeks. 595 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,520 {\an2}And this is the fully grown egg at eight months' egg-station. 596 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,440 {\an2}The mother goose then waits for something to crack the egg. 597 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,440 {\an2}And the cycle of life begins once again. 598 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:23,520 {\an2}They're so like us. In fact, this goose shares 99% of 599 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,920 {\an2}the same DNA as William Shakespeare. 600 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,080 {\an2}And maybe that's why there's such a deep 601 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:33,280 {\an2}and mutual bond of respect between humans and geese. 602 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,680 {\an2}Blood brothers in the ballet of evolution. 603 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:47,400 {\an2}Did some wild geese really just coincidentally fly over? 604 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:50,160 {\an2}They... They did, Greg. It was... It was a sign. 605 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:51,480 {\an2}That whole thing, though, 606 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:56,000 {\an2}of fading out as a sex scene is starting to... Yeah. 607 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,400 {\an2}That's an old technique, so that you don't have to show the sex scene. 608 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:02,880 {\an2}But then, you know, it was to give those who don't 609 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:06,440 {\an2}want to see geese...goosing... Yeah. 610 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,200 {\an2}..to go and make a cup of tea. 611 00:34:09,240 --> 00:34:12,640 {\an2}Whereas, those people who can fucking handle reality can... 612 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,040 {\an2}Can see how nature works. 613 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,480 {\an2}We've got time for one more before the break, Greg. It's time for Baba. 614 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:19,920 {\an2}Baba. 615 00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,040 {\an8}Ready? OK. 616 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:26,920 {\an8}This is my goose. 617 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,920 {\an8}Oh. HE STRAINS 618 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,040 {\an8}Boink. 619 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,720 {\an8}Golden egg. Ta-da. 620 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 621 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,280 {\an2}Thank you, Baba. Big up yourself, man. 622 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:47,200 {\an2}Like, every day, all day. Bye-bye. 623 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:55,120 {\an2}It didn't take him as long as the others. 624 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,920 {\an2}I should say he overcame quite a lot to do that. I did. 625 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,160 {\an2}Baba said, "I don't want to be a goose on TV. 626 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,720 {\an2}"Everyone in Tottenham won't talk to me if I've been a goose." 627 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,920 {\an2}I was worried about my reputation on the streets, because, you know, 628 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,080 {\an2}as you know, coming from the inner city, being... 629 00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:12,520 {\an2}I live in the inner city. Yeah, being... 630 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,800 {\an2}Being a young Black man from the inner city, from... 631 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,200 {\an2}Yeah, it's tough. From the ends. 632 00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:19,680 {\an2}It's tough. It's quite tough. Sorry, I'm... 633 00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:22,640 {\an1}HE CLEARS THROAT, LAUGHTER 634 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,680 {\an2}It's... It's quite tough to, you know, make it out of 635 00:35:25,720 --> 00:35:26,880 {\an2}the hood and I've made it, 636 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,440 {\an2}I've made it on to Channel 4, Taskmaster. 637 00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,840 {\an2}Sitting next to one of my absolute heroes, 638 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,160 {\an2}Jack Dee, and I feel like I did my best. 639 00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,240 {\an2}And if you're gonna penalise me for that, then I just... 640 00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,760 {\an2}I just don't trust you any more, Greg. 641 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,840 {\an2}Very good. Very good. 642 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,040 {\an2}He overcame everything to become a goose. 643 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:47,880 {\an2}To become a goose. On TV. 644 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:50,600 {\an1}WHISPERED: But the goose was shit. LAUGHTER 645 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,120 {\an2}It looked a lot like a duck. Also, didn't you move to 646 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,840 {\an2}the home counties quite a while ago? 647 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 648 00:35:58,120 --> 00:35:59,800 {\an2}Sh. 649 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,920 {\an2}Break time for the final time. 650 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:03,280 {\an2}Not long now until we discover 651 00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:07,120 {\an2}the identity of our mighty, new series champion. 652 00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:11,320 {\an2}That person will represent Taskmaster around the globe, 653 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:15,600 {\an2}continuing the legacy of the champions before them. 654 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,600 {\an2}Footnote, all flights must be paid for by the individual. 655 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,640 {\an2}Taskmaster takes no responsibility, all rights reserved. 656 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:21,760 {\an2}All profits go to Horne And Davies Enterprises. 657 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:23,480 {\an2}And, at the end of the year, any reference made by 658 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,400 {\an2}the individual to Taskmaster, or associated shows, 659 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,160 {\an2}will result in litigation. Enjoy your break. 660 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,400 {\an2}Hello, welcome back to the Taskmaster Grand Final. 661 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:45,160 {\an2}It's the last chapter of this series 662 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,600 {\an2}and our five foes are doing all they can to hoover up 663 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:50,560 {\an2}the last few available points. 664 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,880 {\an2}The competitors are currently each presenting their goose to Greg 665 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,720 {\an2}and there are now just two geese remaining. 666 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:58,560 {\an2}First, and it's been an honour to have him here, 667 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,160 {\an2}it's Jack Dee Onassis. Here we go. 668 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:05,800 {\an2}Oh, hello, Jack. Hi, Alex. 669 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,280 {\an2}Are you, erm, ready to present The Goose? 670 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:13,560 {\an2}Yeah. This is The Goose. Erm... Shall I talk you through it? 671 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,800 {\an2}Why is it called The Goose? 672 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:17,040 {\an2}Well, it's a nod to, erm, 673 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:19,280 {\an2}Howard Hughes who created 674 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,240 {\an2}an aeroplane called the Spruce Goose. Right. 675 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,040 {\an2}You know when people open a supermarket 676 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:26,160 {\an2}and they've gotta advertise it 677 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:29,280 {\an2}and quite often they'll just have people going from door 678 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,560 {\an2}to door with leaflets. Very labour intensive. 679 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:37,720 {\an2}Why not have an aeroplane you can drop your leaflets from? 680 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:41,560 {\an2}Right. There's a dispatch thing here. Do I take that? 681 00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,080 {\an2}Yeah, that's a leaflet. 682 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,320 {\an2}So, that will just be dropping on your head normally. 683 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,480 {\an8}Oh, yeah Horne's New Supermarket. Yeah. 684 00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:50,760 {\an8}Did you misjudge the width of the paper? 685 00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:53,000 {\an2}Erm, I did do that thing. Yeah, I did, 686 00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:54,800 {\an2}I couldn't get it all on one line. 687 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:56,400 {\an2}"Milk, bleach." So, I put a hyphen in. 688 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,080 {\an2}Yeah. Made a feature of it. 689 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,080 {\an8}Off we go. So, I'll be... I'll be dropping leaflets in a minute. 690 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,200 {\an2}Oh, OK. 691 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:04,480 {\an2}Corner. 692 00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:07,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 693 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,560 {\an8}See. That's amazing. 694 00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,320 {\an8}This is much easier than standing on a street corner. 695 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,040 {\an2}I see that now, yeah. See? 696 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:23,600 {\an2}Yeah. 697 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,880 {\an2}It's amazing the difference that SFX can make, isn't it? 698 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:36,560 {\an2}Because when you were flying high in the sky, I just loved it, 699 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,880 {\an2}I imagined a children's franchise. Yeah, yeah. 700 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,680 {\an2}You take the SFX away and you... 701 00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:44,360 {\an2}You're sort of left with a confused man in 702 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,480 {\an2}the high street who the kids are throwing stones at. 703 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,200 {\an2}I think we've all used a bit of special effects here 704 00:38:48,240 --> 00:38:49,600 {\an2}and there, haven't we, over the series? 705 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,000 {\an2}I think it's fair to say. That is true. 706 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:52,920 {\an2}I think it is. But I loved it when it was SFX. 707 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:56,400 {\an2}Yeah. I was just worried about you when it was just in a cardboard box. 708 00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:58,200 {\an2}Yeah. Go on, then. 709 00:38:58,240 --> 00:38:59,320 {\an2}OK, one left. 710 00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,840 {\an2}Finally, to play us out, it's Emma Sidi's The Goose. 711 00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:24,240 {\an2}What time do you call this? 712 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:27,640 {\an2}Please, Mum. 713 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,720 {\an2}I remember a time... 714 00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:32,200 {\an2}..when you were, I dunno, four years old. 715 00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,000 {\an2}What was it you used to say to me? 716 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:36,640 {\an2}I love you, Mummy. 717 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,720 {\an2}And why don't you say it now? 718 00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,520 {\an2}You bastard. Argh! 719 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:45,040 {\an2}Get out of my house. 720 00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,520 {\an2}SHE SOBS And go feed that bloody goose. 721 00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:57,000 {\an2}We should never have got that bloody goose. 722 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,960 {\an2}We should have never got that bloody goose. 723 00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:09,440 {\an1}APPLAUSE 724 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:23,560 {\an2}What a powerful... Yeah. 725 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,320 {\an2}There's so much not said, but so much said... Oh, God. 726 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,520 {\an2}..at the same time. It was such a tricky text to work with. 727 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,640 {\an2}We were... Oh, God, I can imagine. 728 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,640 {\an2}The Goose. Yeah. 729 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,680 {\an2}It seems to have caused problems in the family relationship. Oh, yeah. 730 00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:38,720 {\an2}Between Paul and Pauline, his mum. Yeah. 731 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:39,800 {\an1}SHE CHUCKLES 732 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:43,880 {\an2}How did the goose cause the family to unravel in such a way? 733 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:48,640 {\an2}Pauline's son, Paul, had become overly attached to the goose. Yeah. 734 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:53,040 {\an2}And the mother's love was no longer being given to the mother... Ah. 735 00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:56,120 {\an2}..it was now all going towards this goose. Hmm. 736 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,400 {\an2}And it was ruining her life. Ah. 737 00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,480 {\an2}It's not very funny, is it? But that's theatre. 738 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,720 {\an2}I'm having the time of my life. 739 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:07,640 {\an2}Which was the worst The Goose? 740 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:08,680 {\an1}BABA SNORTS 741 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:14,160 {\an2}Come on, it was Baba. One point to Baba. 742 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:17,880 {\an2}I'm gonna base the other points on the complexity of the narrative. OK. 743 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,440 {\an2}Two points to Jack, three points to Andy. 744 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,720 {\an2}Four points to Emma... 745 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,720 {\an2}and five points to the mysterious goose. 746 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,640 {\an2}Wow, OK. Five points to Rosie Jones. 747 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:31,000 {\an2}Yes. 748 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:34,920 {\an2}One more glance at the scores. 749 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:38,320 {\an2}Yes, Andy and Rosie are in joint second on 14 points, 750 00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,640 {\an2}but the playwright, Emma, is in the lead with 17 points. Wow. 751 00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:45,600 {\an2}All right, everybody, 752 00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:48,840 {\an2}for the last time, please, prepare yourselves for 753 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,920 {\an2}the final task of the series. 754 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,440 {\an1}CROWD COO 755 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,000 {\an2}Bring on the contestants. 756 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:05,040 {\an1}OPERA PLAYS, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 757 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,520 {\an2}Greg, we have a hot dog. We do. 758 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,640 {\an2}Which means that this task is worth potentially double points 759 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:15,960 {\an2}for Andy Zaltzman. 760 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,120 {\an2}Andy. Yes. 761 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,840 {\an2}Please, read the task. With pleasure. 762 00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:25,760 {\an2}"When Greg says, "Eyes down," you must look down. 763 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,400 {\an2}"When Greg says, "Eyes up," 764 00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,920 {\an2}"you must immediately look at a fellow contestant." 765 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:30,960 {\an2}SHE GASPS Oh. 766 00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:35,680 {\an2}"If the contestant is also looking at you, you are both eliminated." 767 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,440 {\an2}Ah. "First to win twice wins." 768 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,080 {\an2}Ooh. Ah. 769 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:45,280 {\an2}Emma's happy. Emma's really looking forward to it. 770 00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,520 {\an2}You need to win twice to win the whole thing. 771 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:50,200 {\an2}It's five points, or zero. Oh, bollocks. 772 00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:53,800 {\an2}Or ten. Or ten, Andy. Or ten. 773 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:54,840 {\an2}Or ten. 774 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,000 {\an2}OK, Greg, the competitors are ready. 775 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,120 {\an2}Eyes down. 776 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:04,880 {\an2}Eyes up. 777 00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:12,360 {\an2}Still time, Andy, someone's gotta win twice. 778 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,480 {\an8}So, the three remaining players on this occasion are Emma, 779 00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:16,560 {\an8}Jack and Rosie. 780 00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:18,960 {\an2}Eyes down. 781 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,240 {\an2}Eyes up. 782 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,360 {\an2}They are all safe. All safe. 783 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:28,400 {\an2}Eyes down. 784 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:34,200 {\an2}Eyes up. 785 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,600 {\an2}Knew that was gonna happen. Sticking with their tactics. 786 00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:41,960 {\an2}Who's gonna blink first? 787 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:43,520 {\an2}Eyes down. Oh. 788 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:48,680 {\an2}Eyes up. 789 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:56,160 {\an2}Eyes down. 790 00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:01,600 {\an2}Maybe we'll just let them think about it for a moment. Eyes up. 791 00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:06,720 {\an2}Jack Dee, please, put on a rosette. 792 00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,000 {\an2}So, one rosette to Jack. 793 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,240 {\an2}All to play for. Eyes down. 794 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,800 {\an2}Eyes up. 795 00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:23,080 {\an2}Ooh, we have Emma and the hot dog out. 796 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,920 {\an2}Oh. Andy. Andy, Andy, Andy. 797 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:27,160 {\an2}This is cruel. 798 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:31,640 {\an2}So, it's Baba, Jack and Rosie. It could be over here if Jack wins. 799 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,360 {\an2}Eyes down. 800 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,400 {\an2}Eyes up. CROWD GASP 801 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,560 {\an2}It's all over. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 802 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,760 {\an2}Wow. 803 00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:53,880 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 804 00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:56,680 {\an2}Jack Dee wins. Let's add that to the final scores. 805 00:44:56,720 --> 00:44:58,720 {\an2}We'll come down and join you. 806 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:00,360 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 807 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:08,120 {\an2}Well, well, well. 808 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:11,680 {\an2}So, what happened there was that the hot-dog wearer, Andy, 809 00:45:11,720 --> 00:45:14,240 {\an2}could've won ten points. 810 00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,920 {\an2}He won no points. CROWD GROAN 811 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:19,640 {\an2}Jack Dee wins five points. 812 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:23,720 {\an2}Well done, Jack. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 813 00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:26,520 {\an2}And, boy, has that had an effect on the scoreboard. Oh-ho. 814 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,320 {\an2}Baba, you've come last with ten points, 815 00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:30,760 {\an2}but Emma wins the episode with 17 points. 816 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,000 {\an2}Yes. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 817 00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:34,240 {\an2}Emma Sidi wins the episode. 818 00:45:34,280 --> 00:45:38,200 {\an2}Please, go and bag up your butt-clenching booty. 819 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,120 {\an2}Here we go. 820 00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,960 {\an2}The time has come to crown our new champion. 821 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:59,920 {\an2}Who has triumphed? My dear, little boy... 822 00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:02,080 {\an2}..my sweet, sweet little angel... 823 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,640 {\an2}..will you reveal the final scores? 824 00:46:06,920 --> 00:46:07,920 {\an2}I shall. 825 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,040 {\an2}So, in fifth place, 826 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:17,280 {\an2}with 137 points, she's been remarkable throughout, 827 00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,560 {\an2}she is remarkable, it's Rosie Jones. 828 00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:23,720 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 829 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,960 {\an2}And then, in fourth place, I look forward to hanging out 830 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,920 {\an2}with him in Tottenham soon, it's Baba with 147 points. 831 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:32,920 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 832 00:46:32,960 --> 00:46:35,240 {\an2}OK, third place, 833 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,600 {\an2}she has remarkably won four of the ten episodes. 834 00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,080 {\an2}She's only in third place, she's been brilliant, 835 00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:44,720 {\an2}with 152 points, it's Emma Sidi. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 836 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:46,160 {\an2}OK, here we go, 837 00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:49,120 {\an2}the lead has switched hands so many times in this series. 838 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:51,880 {\an2}There's just three points in it. CROWD WHOOP 839 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,240 {\an2}With 157 points, in second place... 840 00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,760 {\an2}..my hero, Mr Jack Dee. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 841 00:47:01,080 --> 00:47:04,320 {\an2}Which means, with 160 points... 842 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:09,800 {\an2}Our new Taskmaster champion is Andy Zaltzman. 843 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:14,360 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 844 00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,800 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 845 00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:52,640 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media