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{\an2}This programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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{\an2}Don't look away.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
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{\an2}Don't put that on telly!
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{\an2}Ooh!
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{\an2}I might just do this all day.
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{\an2}Argh!
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{\an2}This is weird.
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{\an2}It's so tight.
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{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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{\an2}Hello!
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{\an2}Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster,
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{\an2}a show that seeks to take
a reputation
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{\an2}and reimagine it.
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{\an2}Cows are cows, aren't they?
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{\an2}But imagine a cow being
forced to tap dance.
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{\an2}What is it then?
It's not a cow, that's for sure.
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{\an2}So, let us open the shed
and chase them into the field.
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{\an2}The farmer has plans for Daisy
and her friends,
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{\an2}and you'll never drink a glass
of milk in the same way again.
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{\an2}My God, it's hard
to keep writing these intros!
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{\an2}LAUGHTER
Regardless...
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{\an2}..please welcome back
Amy Gledhill...
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{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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{\an2}..Armando Iannucci...
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{\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Oooh!
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{\an2}..Joanna Page...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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{\an2}..Joel Dommett and Kumail Nanjiani.
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{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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{\an2}And next to me, a man who says
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{\an2}we should go back
to a more simple time
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{\an2}when children had manners,
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{\an2}there was a bobby on every street
and women were, let's just say,
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{\an2}a little more hirsute downstairs.
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{\an2}His words.
I don't know what he meant, either.
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{\an2}It's little Alex Horne.
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{\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Just personal taste.
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{\an2}That's it.
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{\an2}Sorry.
I don't want to make eye contact
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{\an2}with anyone in the audience now.
OK, good.
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{\an2}Hello, Greg.
What's the warm-up chat?
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{\an2}Well, I want to say hello to you,
Greg.
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{\an2}And I want to say hello
to all my people watching at home.
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{\an2}I see you and you see me,
and you like puzzles.
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{\an2}So if you're one of my people,
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{\an2}I'm going to show you a puzzle.
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{\an2}Press pause and then press unpause
when you've solved it.
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{\an2}Here we go. Good luck. Not that one.
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{\an2}There we go.
That's my bit done, Greg.
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{\an2}Oh, God. Yeah.
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{\an2}Let's crack on with the prize task.
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{\an2}Get this. They've all brought in
the best bumpy thing.
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{\an2}Ooh!
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{\an2}Oh.
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{\an2}This, this is a bumpy...
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{\an2}This is a bum-py thi...
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{\an2}Doesn't matter. Um...
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{\an2}But what bumpy thing
have they brought in?
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{\an2}He's got a pea under his bum.
A bum-PEA.
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{\an2}Well, I'm sure Greg will score
this really quickly
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{\an2}and fairly with five points
for the best bumpy thing.
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{\an2}So, go on, then, Greg.
Go for it, mate.
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{\an2}Amy, hello. Hello, hello.
You all right?
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{\an2}Have you got some bumpy stuff? Yeah.
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{\an2}Can I just ask what hirsute means?
Hairy.
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{\an2}Hairy! Mm-hm. Hairy, yeah.
OK, that's all right.
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{\an2}Yeah. What did you think
it might have meant?
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{\an2}More...
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{\an2}I'm trying to think of a better word
for open.
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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{\an2}You...
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{\an2}But hairy's fine. That's good.
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{\an2}You thought that Alex wanted ladies
to be a little more dilated?
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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{\an2}Yeah.
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{\an2}Ah! Right, Amy,
tell me about your bumpy thing.
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{\an2}I have brought...
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{\an1}THEY LAUGH
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{\an2}It just didn't jump well
from the last chat.
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{\an2}I have brought in a plane ticket
from London to Venice.
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{\an2}Yes, she has. Yeah.
Notoriously turbulent flight route.
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{\an2}Here's the ticket.
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{\an2}And if you fly specifically
in March,
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{\an2}that's when it's most turbulent,
but never too turbulent,
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{\an2}where it's frightening.
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{\an2}It's just a little...
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{\an2}Unfortunately, it's one-way
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{\an2}so you will stay in Venice
because I'm not buying you
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{\an2}a return, as well.
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{\an2}I'm genuinely a bit floored.
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{\an2}I didn't expect you
to bring a good thing in.
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{\an2}Well done.
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{\an2}Armando,
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{\an2}you can take us down, surely.
I'll give it a go.
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{\an2}But I think you'll be surprised.
All right.
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{\an2}I thought, "Let's go for something
that's already very good,
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{\an2}"but maybe not accessible
to everyone
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{\an2}"and make it even better
by making it bumpy."
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{\an2}It's a Braille menu
to an Indian restaurant.
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{\an2}Wow. Here we go.
A Braille curry menu. There it is.
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{\an2}There we go.
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{\an2}And of course,
the great thing is
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{\an2}if I score that badly,
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{\an2}I will alienate
the visually-impaired community.
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{\an2}Exactly.
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{\an2}So, it's... It may not be funny,
but it's very clever.
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{\an2}Hello, Joanna. Hello.
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{\an2}I've brought in...
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{\an1}HE LAUGHS
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{\an2}..Mr Bump.
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{\an2}Here is Joanna's Mr Bump.
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{\an2}Now, I made Mr Bump
when I was about 16
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{\an2}in school for an art project.
AMY: 16!?
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{\an2}Yeah. Wow.
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{\an2}He's on a glass bottle,
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{\an2}which I've painted,
and he's made with a papier mache,
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{\an2}very bumpy head.
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{\an2}And my parents have kept him
in the shed
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{\an2}at the bottom of their garden
ever since I made him.
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{\an2}And it was only recently
that I realised how awful that is,
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{\an2}because they're always like,
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{\an2}"Oh, yeah, we got him on the shelf
in the shed."
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{\an2}And, "Oh, look, he's still there."
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{\an2}And he's never, ever been
in the house.
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{\an2}If you presented that
to your parents
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{\an2}when you were 16, I think
you should count yourself lucky
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{\an2}that you weren't sent to
a boarding school.
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{\an2}Hi, Joel. Hello.
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{\an2}I've brought in a picture
of my acne-ridden teenage face.
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{\an2}Ooh, no! Ah! Oh!
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{\an2}And if you zoom in
to the forehead...
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{\an2}Is that Braille?
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{\an2}That looks like Braille.
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{\an2}I've made the acne Braille,
and it says,
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{\an2}"Don't worry, things get easier."
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{\an2}Aw! Aw!
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{\an2}So try scoring that badly.
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{\an2}Very good.
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{\an2}Kumail.
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{\an2}Hi. Hi, there.
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{\an2}What bumpy thing
have you brought us?
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{\an2}So, what's a really great
bumpy thing to ride?
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{\an2}A r... Ree..
..oller coaster. Roller-coaster.
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{\an2}So, this, I brought in
the original plans
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{\an2}for the Cyclone.
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{\an2}It was made in 1927.
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{\an2}So, you see, that's plans for that.
And then, there's some...
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{\an2}It says,
"Look at the bottom left corner."
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{\an2}Do you want us to look at
the bottom left?
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{\an2}And then,
go to the bottom left corner.
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{\an2}"You seem lovely.
Look at number 12." Number 12?
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{\an2}Go to number 12. Number 12, there,
yeah. "You have herpes..."
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{\an1}LAUGHTER
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{\an2}"..see top right." Right.
OK, there we go.
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{\an2}"Just kidding, you don't have
herpes..." Phew. Right. OK.
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{\an2}"Look under the coaster."
Under the coaster. Let's go there.
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{\an2}Yep. There we go.
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{\an2}"It's actually not a big deal
to have herpes.
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{\an2}"You shouldn't stigmatise.
Turn this over."
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{\an2}And over.
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{\an2}"That was a bumpy ride!"
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{\an2}It was a bumpy ride!
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{\an2}Oh!
APPLAUSE
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{\an2}Must be a relief for you, as well.
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{\an2}Yeah.
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{\an2}So, it's a roller-coaster
and an emotional roller-coaster.
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{\an2}I got it, yeah. Thank you.
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{\an2}A lot of these are very sensible.
Yeah.
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{\an2}Joanna's little project?
Oh, thank God.
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{\an2}Right, Joanna, one point.
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{\an2}What's next? I don't know why,
the flight to Venice.
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{\an2}No! Yeah. You shouldn't be so tight.
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{\an2}If you'd done a return flight,
I'd have been...
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{\an2}It was really expensive!
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{\an2}You've got to speculate
to accumulate. Two points.
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{\an2}Two points. Well done, Amy. Shit!
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{\an2}I'm going to go to Armando.
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{\an2}OK. I think he'd forgotten
the prize,
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{\an2}and he'd had a curry
the night before,
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{\an2}and he brought that in. Three
points.
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{\an2}OK, three to Armando.
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{\an2}I actually found your Braille thing
absolutely adorable.
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{\an2}I like the idea
of you reassuring your teenage self.
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{\an2}It's very sweet. But that...
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{\an2}Oh, I loved all that. Thank you!
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{\an2}Five points to Kumail Nanjiani's
emotional roller-coaster.
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{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:55,440
{\an2}What's first?
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{\an2}Good news, everyone,
189
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{\an2}because this task is
a bit of a turn on.
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{\an2}Oh!
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
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{\an2}Hello, Alex. Joel Patrick Dommett.
192
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{\an2}Oh, I love the full name.
193
00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:19,040
{\an2}How do you feel about the table?
194
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,520
{\an2}The table itself? Hmm.
195
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:22,760
{\an2}It's all right.
196
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,960
{\an2}Solid. Four grand.
197
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,560
{\an2}Then I'd maybe...
198
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,600
{\an2}..expect a bit more.
199
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:33,760
{\an2}But I don't know what the task is.
200
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,960
{\an2}Maybe the table is going to come
to life and dance,
201
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,440
{\an2}and I have to do
the same dance moves as the table.
202
00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,080
{\an2}LED party lights?
203
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,200
{\an2}We know how to party in the UK.
204
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,320
{\an2}Yeah, with lights?
Two of them. Big ones.
205
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,040
{\an2}Those aren't that big.
You should see American lights.
206
00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:54,160
{\an2}JOEL: Should I open this bad boy?
Yes, please, JPD.
207
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,800
{\an2}Let's have a look.
208
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,960
{\an2}"Turn on the telly."
209
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,920
{\an2}"You may not touch the telly.
210
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{\an2}"Fewest button presses wins."
211
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,680
{\an2}"Your time starts now."
212
00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:08,120
{\an2}That's the telly? That's the telly.
213
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,200
{\an2}Just one telly? Mm-hm.
214
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,960
{\an2}So, I just turn on the telly, right?
215
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,960
{\an2}Yes, please, yeah,
if you wouldn't mind.
216
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,960
{\an2}But what's your game here?
217
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,440
{\an2}What are you up to, Horne?
218
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,480
{\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Hmm.
219
00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:26,200
{\an2}I really enjoyed suspicious Amy.
220
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,280
{\an2}Shall we see some stuff?
221
00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:33,040
{\an2}OK, well, Amy and Joanna
are first up to take control.
222
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,080
{\an2}"Fewest button presses?"
223
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,720
{\an2}OK, well, I want to go straight in
for these,
224
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,440
{\an2}but it's obviously going
to be wrong.
225
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:39,880
{\an2}"Turn on the telly."
226
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,080
{\an2}We're going blue, are we?
We're blue.
227
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,120
{\an2}Oh, my gosh!
228
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,560
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
229
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,600
{\an2}Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
230
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,680
{\an2}OK. Did you just turn it off,
as well? Thank you.
231
00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:59,800
{\an2}That's two button presses.
OK. Right.
232
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,480
{\an2}OK. I'm going to go in
and try all of them
233
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,120
{\an2}because it's going to turn
something on.
234
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:05,880
{\an2}That's not turning anything on.
235
00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,320
{\an2}Oh, and I keep pressing it, don't I?
236
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,960
{\an2}No, not that one.
237
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,160
{\an2}Oh!
238
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,160
{\an2}It's not red. Oh!
Oh, that's nice, though.
239
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,520
{\an2}Right. I'm going to press
them all. Right.
240
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,880
{\an2}Is that an egg? Do I turn it off?
241
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,320
{\an1}SHE LAUGHS
242
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,080
{\an2}I've got two batteries and lint.
243
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:34,920
{\an1}WHIRRING
244
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:39,200
{\an2}That's the printer. Oh, wow!
245
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:41,080
{\an2}"You must now also find and eat
246
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,960
{\an2}"a doughnut before you finish
the task."
247
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,800
{\an2}Is this a doughnut? It was. It was!
248
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:47,800
{\an2}"You must now also find
and eat a doughnut
249
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,560
{\an2}"before you finish the task."
250
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,000
{\an2}Well, it was probably this,
wasn't it?
251
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,120
{\an2}It was that, yeah.
252
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,680
{\an2}I'm going pink. Pink.
253
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,240
{\an2}It just did something. Oh!
254
00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:58,880
{\an2}Oh, my God. Batteries and a duck.
255
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,480
{\an2}I think you've pressed
all the buttons now.
256
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,320
{\an2}Do you remember what they all did?
257
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,400
{\an2}Oh, no.
258
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,560
{\an2}I'm going to do this one again.
259
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,160
{\an2}It's not doing anything.
Oh, for God...
260
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,160
{\an2}It's absolutely ridiculous.
261
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,760
{\an2}Gold.
262
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,000
{\an2}Look! Just look! I don't need to...
263
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,560
{\an2}Oh! Ahh!
264
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,640
{\an2}I could have just checked this
from the beginning.
265
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:24,800
{\an2}Have I done it?
266
00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,200
{\an2}I...
SHE GASPS
267
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,120
{\an2}Oh!
268
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,520
{\an2}Oh, my God! Did it turn it on?
Your telly's on.
269
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,720
{\an2}Well done.
270
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,080
{\an2}You say well done...
271
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,680
{\an2}Yeah, I shouldn't have said
well done. Right.
272
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,920
{\an2}I mean, the technique was
actually the same -
273
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,440
{\an2}no lateral thinking,
just keep pressing buttons.
274
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:46,840
{\an2}You both noticed the golden one
didn't do anything,
275
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,520
{\an2}but you didn't think
that might be a clue?
276
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,200
{\an2}No. No. No, I thought it was broken.
277
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,360
{\an2}I thought it was just bad tasking.
278
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,400
{\an1}THEY LAUGH
279
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,720
{\an2}"Argh, there's bad tasking
in the air today."
280
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
281
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,640
{\an2}Joanna pressed 13 buttons in total.
282
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,600
{\an2}Amy, 21 buttons.
283
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,200
{\an2}It was not good.
284
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:08,880
{\an2}Ah! Right.
285
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,680
{\an2}You both had a nice doughnut,
didn't you?
286
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,000
{\an2}Yes, that was good.
Doughnut was nice.
287
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,920
{\an2}Yeah, I liked that.
I would have it whizzed-up again.
288
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,920
{\an2}Yeah.
Yeah, genuinely, it's really nice.
289
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:19,320
{\an2}KUMAIL: Do you guys call blending
whizzed up?
290
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,360
{\an2}Yeah, always.
That's what you really call it?
291
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,840
{\an2}Yeah, yeah. They're called
whizz-up machines over here.
292
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,280
{\an2}Yeah, yeah, yeah.
LAUGHTER
293
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,520
{\an2}Elevators are lifts,
blenders are whizz-up machines.
294
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,240
{\an2}Ah, it's confusing over here.
295
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,520
{\an2}I'll buy you a coffee afterwards
at the bubble-bubble shop.
296
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,560
{\an1}LAUGHTER
297
00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:38,960
{\an2}We must pause for a break,
298
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,120
{\an2}and we're going to stretch
our legs a little bit.
299
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,400
{\an2}I'm going to give Alex
a little walk.
300
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,880
{\an2}I like a little walk.
301
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,960
{\an2}Come on, you! Oh, yes.
302
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,000
{\an2}Come on!
303
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:00,560
{\an2}Welcome back.
304
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:04,880
{\an2}Well, well, well,
you really did need to go.
305
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,000
{\an2}Yes.
306
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,960
{\an1}LAUGHTER
307
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,040
{\an2}I had...
308
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,040
{\an2}I had a lot of whizzed-up doughnuts.
309
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,920
{\an2}He did!
310
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:20,560
{\an2}And that's the funniest thing
this show's ever done.
311
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,320
{\an2}It's just the right weight,
isn't it?
312
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,200
{\an2}I think it's so hefty.
Just the right weight.
313
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,400
{\an2}It's so...
HE LAUGHS
314
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,600
{\an2}I like that you picked it up,
as well.
315
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:30,640
{\an2}Why did you pick it up?
316
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,400
{\an2}Because I'm your owner.
317
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:33,480
{\an2}Oh, thank you.
318
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:36,560
{\an2}Hello.
319
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,440
{\an2}It's part two,
and our five adult comedians
320
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,920
{\an2}are struggling to switch
on the telly. Yes.
321
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,720
{\an2}"Oh, which button is it?
322
00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:46,240
{\an2}"Which controller? Where's it gone?
323
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,760
{\an2}"Where are the batteries?
What's happening?
324
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,720
{\an2}"Help me, Alex!"
They're pathetic. And now...
325
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
326
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,120
{\an2}It's time for
Joel-mando Domett-ucci
327
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,520
{\an1}MACHINE BEEPS
328
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,120
{\an1}BEEPS
329
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,120
{\an2}Are you thinking the printer
might operate the telly?
330
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,200
{\an2}Yeah, it made some noises.
331
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,600
{\an2}Yeah.
You did just press two buttons...
332
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,360
{\an2}Yeah. ..so that counts
as your first two button presses.
333
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,920
{\an2}Oh!
334
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,000
{\an2}Damn it!
335
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,160
{\an2}Ah!
336
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:19,600
{\an2}Right. Well, that didn't work.
337
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,320
{\an2}No, you've turned on
the bubble and smoke machine.
338
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,960
{\an2}Oh, I forget what the other one was
I did.
339
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,920
{\an2}Oh, you've done...
The bubble machine again, is it? OK.
340
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,240
{\an2}Oh, right. Literally just done it.
That's the... Yeah.
341
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,440
{\an2}Yeah. Gold.
342
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,320
{\an2}Right. What happened with
the gold one?
343
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,880
{\an2}I don't know.
What happened with the gold one?
344
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,920
{\an2}What happened with the gold one?
I'm not touching it again.
345
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,480
{\an2}It's down there.
346
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,240
{\an2}Hello, Joel.
You're very much in my area now.
347
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:45,320
{\an2}Have you pressed a button?
348
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,720
{\an2}No, it goes behind the bookcase.
It goes behind there.
349
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,680
{\an2}Right.
350
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:50,760
{\an2}Ah!
351
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,760
{\an2}"You must now also find and eat
a doughnut."
352
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,760
{\an2}Right. If I turn that on...
353
00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,280
{\an2}You think turning the blender on
might turn the telly on?
354
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,480
{\an2}Well, not beyond... No.
..the bounds of possibility.
355
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,680
{\an1}ORGAN NOTES PLAY
356
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,600
{\an2}It's a mouse.
357
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,680
{\an2}What is that?
358
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:10,720
{\an2}Is that yours?
359
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,040
{\an2}I was looking for that.
360
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,200
{\an2}Just be slightly careful
with the wires.
361
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,720
{\an2}Yeah, you be slightly careful
with your attitude. Right.
362
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,680
{\an2}Well, they're on now.
363
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,720
{\an1}BLENDER WHIZZES
364
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,800
{\an2}I knew the printer was
something to do with this!
365
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,000
{\an2}"You must now also find
and eat a doughnut."
366
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,160
{\an2}Ah! So, pink, is it? OK.
367
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,840
{\an1}ORGAN NOTES PLAY
368
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,040
{\an2}Ahh!
Obviously, this will go nowhere.
369
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:43,400
{\an2}I found a duck, uh, more fluff,
two batteries. Ah.
370
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,120
{\an2}Found the doughnut, like,
really quick.
371
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,160
{\an1}HE GRUNTS
372
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,360
{\an2}I have glued them shut.
373
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,640
{\an2}Yes, you have, haven't you?
374
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,200
{\an2}HE CLEARS THROAT
Ah-ha-ha!
375
00:15:58,240 --> 00:15:59,720
{\an2}Here we go. Right.
376
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:01,880
{\an2}Fucking hell!
377
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:07,640
{\an2}Ahh!
378
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:08,720
{\an2}Lovely.
379
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,240
{\an2}Here we go, it's a smoke machine.
380
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,480
{\an1}HORN BLARES
381
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:22,840
{\an2}Ooh!
382
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,480
{\an2}I put in an extra layer.
I put in an extra door.
383
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,600
{\an2}12 seconds.
384
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:39,920
{\an2}Come out!
385
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:40,960
{\an2}Come on!
386
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000
{\an2}Please!
BELL DINGS
387
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,680
{\an2}That was so close!
388
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:46,720
{\an2}Let's go pink.
389
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,000
{\an2}Two batteries.
390
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,360
{\an2}I reckon that's this one.
391
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,360
{\an2}Yeah! There you go.
You figured it out.
392
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,400
{\an2}APPLAUSE
Well done.
393
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,680
{\an2}I'm just enchanted,
watching Joel do anything, really,
394
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,720
{\an2}because he throws himself into it
with such glee.
395
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,120
{\an2}And then every now and again,
396
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,280
{\an2}I just go,
"Oh, my God, he's 40!"
397
00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:21,080
{\an1}LAUGHTER
398
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,680
{\an2}Yeah. Mad, isn't it?
399
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,040
{\an2}I pay a mortgage.
400
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,120
{\an2}I loved that a hidden compartment
pops open,
401
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,200
{\an2}and Armando goes,
402
00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,080
{\an2}"Well, I don't imagine
this will lead us anywhere."
403
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,680
{\an2}Conserving energy. Lovely.
404
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,880
{\an2}The difference between us
is so fantastic.
405
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,080
{\an2}I'm like, "Secret compartment?"
406
00:17:38,120 --> 00:17:40,160
{\an2}I'm like,
"Argh!, a secret compartment!"
407
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,640
{\an2}"I've just won!" "Where does it go?"
There's bound to be others!"
408
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,600
{\an2}Love it.
409
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,680
{\an2}Yes. Well, look.
Armando was the slowest.
410
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,360
{\an2}But it wasn't about speed.
411
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,200
{\an2}This is very much a tortoise
and hare situation.
412
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,720
{\an2}He only pressed nine buttons...
Mmm. Ooh!
413
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:56,840
{\an2}..which is one fewer than you, Joel.
Ten presses.
414
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,320
{\an2}AMY: That's still good.
It's not bad for an excitable child.
415
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,240
{\an2}Yes. Finally, in 2018, he was one of
Time Magazine's
416
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,560
{\an2}100 Most Influential People
in the World.
417
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,480
{\an2}And now, finally,
he just might prove why.
418
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,760
{\an2}It's Kumail.
419
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,360
{\an2}These are glued shut.
420
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,040
{\an2}I haven't pressed a button yet. No.
421
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,560
{\an2}This one's empty, though.
422
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:30,640
{\an2}You're pressing the green one.
423
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:38,640
{\an2}That's pretty cool.
424
00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:39,960
{\an2}Press it again,
if you really enjoyed it.
425
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,040
{\an2}I did really enjoy it,
426
00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,600
{\an2}but I'm not going to press it again
until I've turned the TV on.
427
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,640
{\an2}Yeah.
428
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,320
{\an2}Is it a mistake that this one
doesn't have batteries?
429
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,120
{\an2}We don't make mis...
We don't make mistakes.
430
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,160
{\an2}That was a mistake.
431
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,240
{\an2}You saying we don't make mistakes,
you made a mistake.
432
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,440
{\an2}We rarely make mistakes.
433
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,120
{\an2}"We don't make mirstakes!"
434
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:02,600
{\an2}Don't look away.
435
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:07,920
{\an2}Ow.
436
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:10,760
{\an2}There's batteries in there.
437
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,400
{\an2}AUDIENCE: Oooh!
438
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,480
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
439
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,200
{\an2}That was impressive.
440
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,240
{\an2}Thank you!
441
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,600
{\an2}That's how it's done.
442
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,480
{\an2}I remember that being, like,
my best task by far.
443
00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:43,560
{\an2}I just love that you just used
sheer fucking force.
444
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,080
{\an2}Like, yeargh!
You are a real life superhero.
445
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,080
{\an2}It's so good to be close to you.
Yeah!
446
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,200
{\an2}So great. So, yeah...
447
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,760
{\an2}So. It was very impressive.
448
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,160
{\an2}Um, however...
449
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,800
{\an2}Whoa, no!
450
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,080
{\an2}Uh-oh!
451
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,360
{\an2}I do need to show you
something else.
452
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,720
{\an2}The rules did say...
453
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:04,640
{\an2}Argh! Yes, yes, yes, yes!
454
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,360
{\an1}LAUGHTER
455
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,080
{\an2}..you may not touch the TV.
No ifs, no buts.
456
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,680
{\an2}Right? Uh-oh.
457
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,800
{\an2}There's so many wires, guys.
458
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:16,800
{\an2}OK. Oh!
459
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:17,840
{\an2}Oh-oh-oh!
460
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:20,200
{\an2}Butt touch.
461
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:21,760
{\an2}It was you, Joel.
462
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,320
{\an2}You were so excited about that
video, too.
463
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,400
{\an2}Oh! I thought it was
going to tear you apart,
464
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,080
{\an2}but it turned out it just tore apart
465
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,080
{\an2}a person who didn't need tearing
apart.
466
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,840
{\an2}Is that touching? What do you mean?
Is it touching?
467
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,840
{\an2}Touching? Am I not touching someone
if I touch them with my bum?
468
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,080
{\an2}Is that what you're asking?
469
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,240
{\an2}Well... Because if that's the case,
it's party time.
470
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,720
{\an2}No, no, no, no, no!
471
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,880
{\an2}Are we disqualifying Joel?
472
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,560
{\an2}I still found him quite enchanting,
473
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,040
{\an2}so I will allow him,
regardless of how many
474
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:54,000
{\an2}times he pressed it,
to have one point.
475
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,240
{\an2}So he goes to the bottom.
476
00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,440
{\an2}Amy and Joanna go up one point.
Correct.
477
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,280
{\an2}Goes to the bottom. That's ironic.
478
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:08,040
{\an2}In which case, Amy,
you get two points - 23 presses.
479
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,600
{\an2}Joanna - three points.
Armando - four points.
480
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:14,040
{\an2}But the winner and five points to
Kumail Nanjiani.
481
00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,200
{\an2}Right. May we see the scores? Yes.
482
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:21,560
{\an2}Before that I'm going to tell you
the series scores
483
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,760
{\an2}because they're getting tight.
484
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,360
{\an2}Armando, you're at
the bottom with 91,
485
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,440
{\an2}but Joel's just above you on 93.
486
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:32,440
{\an2}Then, very excitingly,
Amy and Kumail are both on 105.
487
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,120
{\an2}Kumail's finally in the top two
488
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,560
{\an2}and Joanna still on top
with 106 points.
489
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,840
{\an2}Lovely.
490
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,280
{\an2}And in this episode, Kumail's got
a very strong ten points maximum
491
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,040
{\an2}in first place.
492
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,080
{\an2}Wow!
493
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,120
{\an2}Yep.
494
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,040
{\an2}That is one sweet solo effort,
495
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,440
{\an2}so I feel like we should see
a team task, please.
496
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:57,680
{\an2}Sure thing, Greg.
497
00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,920
{\an2}Here's a task right here for you.
I do hope you like it.
498
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,760
{\an2}Atchoo! Bless me.
499
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,080
{\an2}OK, let's go.
500
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,760
{\an2}Hello. Oh, hiya.
501
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,640
{\an2}Joanna and Armando. Yes.
502
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,000
{\an2}Hello. Hello. Who wants to read it?
You read this one.
503
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:25,520
{\an2}You read this one.
504
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,920
{\an2}He's so good at reading lines.
505
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:27,960
{\an2}I know! It's so exciting.
506
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,400
{\an2}Go! Go!
507
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,680
{\an2}"Have serious fun
in the lab without smiling."
508
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,200
{\an2}Oh!
509
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,360
{\an2}"One of you must enter on
the first whistle,
510
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,320
{\an2}"the other on the second."
511
00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:44,120
{\an2}"You must each secretly
512
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,600
{\an2}"bring something fun with you.
513
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,960
{\an2}"And you must all leave as soon
as the time is up."
514
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,720
{\an2}"You have two minutes in the lab,
515
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:54,960
{\an2}"and the first person must enter
the lab in five minutes from now."
516
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,760
{\an2}So we can't smile at all.
And we've got to have fun.
517
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,080
{\an2}You guys, when I read,
"You can't smile,"
518
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:04,120
{\an2}both of you had
the biggest grins on your face.
519
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,160
{\an2}Let's split up now.
520
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,640
{\an2}So I will commit to getting
something fun from not this room.
521
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,040
{\an2}Let's go! Bring this with us.
522
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,120
{\an2}Find a fun thing.
523
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,280
{\an2}I'm not going to ever smile again.
524
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,120
{\an2}I'm going to be shit at this.
525
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,040
{\an2}Hi-lo!
526
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,600
{\an2}It's amusing Armando.
527
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,240
{\an2}And this is
the really good fun show.
528
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:30,640
{\an2}Fine. Oh.
529
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,400
{\an2}Shall we meet jolly Joanna?
530
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:37,360
{\an2}Here's jolly Joanna. Hey!
We're having fun, aren't we?
531
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:38,560
{\an2}Yeah. Having lots of fun.
532
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:44,120
{\an2}I find playing and eating sweets
really, really good. fun
533
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,120
{\an2}That's good fun.
534
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,520
{\an2}Oh, no.
HORN HONKS
535
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,960
{\an2}Can you do that?
536
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,440
{\an2}Do you know how to...? Hey, guys.
537
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,400
{\an2}Oh, they're in, they're in.
Yep. They're in.
538
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,960
{\an2}Oh, that was fun. That was fun.
539
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,720
{\an2}So much fun. That's fun, isn't it?
540
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:02,840
{\an2}Oh!
541
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,200
{\an2}Whoa! That's fun.
542
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,040
{\an2}Can I have a go on your horn,
if you want to go on my Sellotape?
543
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,080
{\an2}Yeah, sure.
544
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,440
{\an2}WHISTLE
OK, we gotta go.
545
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,520
{\an2}Thanks, Alex.
546
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,800
{\an2}Hiya! Oh! Hello.
547
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,480
{\an1}JOANNA LAUGHS
548
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,440
{\an2}Oh, God! Please let us not
have to sing.
549
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,520
{\an2}Shall I go in? Yeah. Go in.
550
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:35,440
{\an2}Completely revoice this footage
to create a dramatic short film.
551
00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,080
{\an2}A dramatic short film.
This is what...
552
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:41,840
{\an2}This is the hula hoop thing
in the face.
553
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:46,120
{\an2}Oh, well, this could be
a dramatic film very easily.
554
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,440
{\an2}You must not revoice yourself.
555
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,480
{\an2}Most dramatic
and convincing short film wins.
556
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,560
{\an2}You have 15 minutes.
Your time starts now.
557
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,600
{\an2}When there's three people... Yeah.
Can everyone play someone else?
558
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,400
{\an2}Yes, mathematically.
Does that work? Yes. Yes.
559
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,760
{\an2}I just, in my head, I was like,
560
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,040
{\an2}"Well, two people are going to
play each other.
561
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:05,600
{\an2}"Then there's one person
has to be themselves."
562
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,680
{\an2}How would you suggest
that I do your voice?
563
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,640
{\an2}I mean, just try and do like,
a Pakistani guy.
564
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,320
{\an2}What could go wrong?
So what would...
565
00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:21,040
{\an2}How would that go?
Well, now you've given me...
566
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,520
{\an2}You've given me the go-ahead.
Yes, I've given you the go ahead.
567
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,880
{\an2}We might not show him giving you
the go-ahead.
568
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,920
{\an2}In fact, I insist that you don't.
569
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,400
{\an2}Yeah. A bit like alien.
570
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,720
{\an2}We've got to make it dramatic.
It could be.
571
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,320
{\an2}We have to make it dramatic.
A monster.
572
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,800
{\an2}What kind of voice do I do for you?
I'm Hull.
573
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,200
{\an2}Hull? Do you want to try it?
574
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:41,560
{\an2}Oolar oop!
575
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,040
{\an2}Oolar oop!
576
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:44,360
{\an2}OK.
577
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,280
{\an2}Yeah, a lot, a lot happened.
578
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,280
{\an2}Wow. Wow.
Exciting on lots of levels.
579
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,600
{\an2}I mean, I wonder who will face
the biggest backlash?
580
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,760
{\an2}Could it be Kumail
from the people of Hull,
581
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:02,040
{\an2}or might Joel get more problems
with all of Pakistan?
582
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,440
{\an2}A famously laid-back people.
583
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,240
{\an2}I can't tell whether I'm going
to be sort of cancelled
584
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,800
{\an2}for misplaced accents
or how stupid I am with numbers.
585
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,280
{\an2}Ah yeah, that was incredible, yeah.
586
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,720
{\an2}Well, Amy must be thrilled
because she's taken
587
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,600
{\an2}a lot of heat off the fact
that she can only do one hula hoop.
588
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:34,360
{\an2}Shall we see
some short films/hate crimes?
589
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,240
{\an2}Yeah, why not?
And I think let's start
590
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,160
{\an2}off with a team of three.
Let's see how they got on.
591
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,520
{\an2}Erm, I'm looking for my husband.
Uh...
592
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,480
{\an2}Is that from my husband?
593
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,760
{\an2}Oh, OK. My husband's going to die.
594
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,160
{\an2}Hey, wife.
595
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,240
{\an2}This guy is really scaring me.
596
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:09,680
{\an2}Room for a little one!
597
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:12,600
{\an2}Goddamn this guy.
598
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,560
{\an2}Watch me save your life.
599
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,440
{\an2}Oh!
600
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:18,600
{\an2}Whoa.
601
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:20,920
{\an2}I'll show you what to do.
602
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:26,960
{\an2}Round, round!
603
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,320
{\an2}Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh!
604
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:34,560
{\an2}That's like some of
the noises we make on our birthdays.
605
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,760
{\an2}Hey, look at this.
Look at this shiny thing.
606
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,720
{\an2}Shiny things
distracting...distracting me.
607
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,400
{\an2}Shoot him with the gun.
608
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,720
{\an2}Maybe I'll get you with this gun
that I've got.
609
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,920
{\an2}No, it's a fucking horn.
610
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,720
{\an2}Didn't bring your gun?
611
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,320
{\an2}You didn't bring your gun?
Oh, I'll go get my gun.
612
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,720
{\an2}You two are going to die.
I'm going to be back.
613
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:55,800
{\an2}You two gonna die.
614
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,320
{\an2}WHISTLE
That's your time up.Lovely.
615
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:02,760
{\an2}Better than many movies I've seen.
And been in.
616
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,280
{\an2}I don't know
what the fuck was going on.
617
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:14,680
{\an2}It's the joy of art, isn't it?
618
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,520
{\an2}It's open to interpretation.
619
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,000
{\an2}It's subjective. Yeah.
620
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,400
{\an2}Unfortunately for you,
I thought it was shit.
621
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,720
{\an2}OK, that's it.
We're at the halfway point.
622
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:26,040
{\an2}Will you go all the way with me?
Will you?
623
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,480
{\an2}Of course you will.
How can you resist?
624
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,160
{\an2}And I've not forgotten you.
You'll keep.
625
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,440
{\an2}Oh, yes. He's saving you till last!
Shut up!
626
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,120
{\an1}APPLAUSE
627
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,560
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
628
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,920
{\an2}Welcome back to the
third part of the show.
629
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,360
{\an2}And there is a seriously fun task
involving lip-syncing.
630
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,680
{\an2}Yes, the current task involves them
631
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,640
{\an2}revoicing their own footage
from earlier,
632
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,440
{\an2}but they're not allowed
to revoice themselves.
633
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,680
{\an2}Most dramatic
and convincing short film wins.
634
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:05,120
{\an2}Now for the team of two's turn -
it's Joanna and Armando.
635
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,880
{\an2}Hello.
636
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,120
{\an2}I have been called here today
because I hear
637
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,640
{\an2}that there might be some alien force
in this building.
638
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:16,000
{\an2}What is this here? There's a banana.
639
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,160
{\an2}BABBLING
What are you saying?
640
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,200
{\an1}BABBLING
641
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,600
{\an2}You're telling me about the
alien? An alien?
642
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,000
{\an2}I've been impregnated by
a banana alien.
643
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,000
{\an2}It might burst out any minute.
Oh, my God!
644
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,040
{\an2}Oh, my.
645
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,600
{\an2}Oh, no! I can't believe this.
I know.
646
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,320
{\an2}What have you got inside you?
647
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,880
{\an2}There look like millions of them.
648
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:39,160
{\an2}I've got the syringe.
I have heard from other people
649
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,800
{\an2}it is the only way to deal
with aliens.
650
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:43,920
{\an2}I want to help you.
651
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,720
{\an2}But the alien
in my head is telling me to
652
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,400
{\an2}put it in my mouth.
653
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:49,480
{\an2}Oh, my God.
654
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,640
{\an2}Oh, that went in. That's horrible.
655
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,320
{\an2}The alien is making me inject your
head now.
656
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:55,800
{\an2}Whatever you do,
657
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,280
{\an2}don't let any aliens come out
of your mouth.
658
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:04,040
{\an2}Oh! Oh! This is the most dramatic
thing ever filmed.
659
00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:05,880
{\an2}What's this?
660
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:07,280
{\an2}I want to eat these.
661
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,160
{\an2}The alien is making me
pick up an envelope.
662
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,240
{\an2}It says, "Whatever you do,
663
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,440
{\an2}"don't muck about with the stuff
in that suitcase
664
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,040
{\an2}"otherwise the world will blow up."
665
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,200
{\an2}But I can't help myself.
666
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,200
{\an2}It's all pretty colours.
667
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,200
{\an2}Oh, no, you've gone and done it!
668
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,560
{\an2}I can't help it.
They're making me do it.
669
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,000
{\an2}Everybody get out!
670
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:25,840
{\an2}Humanity has been taken over
by aliens.
671
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:28,000
{\an2}We've got to go! Yeah!
672
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,040
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
673
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:36,400
{\an2}Right. Well, I'm going to say this
off the bat.
674
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,880
{\an2}I do not like Joanna's voice
coming out of Armando's face.
675
00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:44,360
{\an2}But it was a strong narrative.
676
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,960
{\an2}And it was dramatic.
677
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,400
{\an2}It's got to make you three feel bad
about your load of shit.
678
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,880
{\an2}I thought you had
clearly defined characters.
679
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,400
{\an2}A twist at the end, a comment on
680
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,560
{\an2}the fragility of the human
condition.
681
00:30:57,600 --> 00:30:58,840
{\an2}Yeah. And what about theirs?
682
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:06,960
{\an2}What are you giving to people, Greg?
683
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,440
{\an2}Well, I'm going to give
684
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:12,240
{\an2}the team of two five points
for a beautiful film.
685
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,960
{\an2}And what shall I give
the other three?
686
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,880
{\an2}Two feel good?
Two for the team of three
687
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,320
{\an2}and five to the team of two.
688
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,160
{\an2}Can we squeeze out another task?
689
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:26,960
{\an2}Ah, of course we can, Greg.
690
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,360
{\an2}And bless your little cotton socks.
691
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,800
{\an2}Ooh!
692
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:47,880
{\an2}Oh, my gosh!
693
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:53,120
{\an2}Amy!
694
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,480
{\an2}It's a...
695
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:01,680
{\an2}..crescent of socks.
696
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:03,840
{\an2}I guess so. Yeah.
697
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:07,640
{\an2}This is fantastic.
698
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:08,920
{\an2}How do you arrange yours?
699
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,680
{\an2}Nothing as extravagant
and as beautiful as this.
700
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:12,920
{\an2}This is how Greg does it.
701
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,600
{\an2}OK.
702
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,080
{\an2}Make the most socks stand up.
703
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:19,200
{\an2}You have 15 minutes.
704
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,280
{\an2}Your time starts now.
705
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,320
{\an2}What we...? What? And we're off.
Stand up?
706
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,640
{\an2}What, what, what does that entail?
707
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:30,400
{\an2}Well, they're lying down
at the moment.
708
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:31,440
{\an2}Individually or...?
709
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,800
{\an2}Well, plenty of time, however you
want to interpret it, really.
710
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:36,640
{\an2}Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
711
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,720
{\an2}What I really want to do is just
spend
712
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,080
{\an2}all my time making the pairs right.
713
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:42,120
{\an2}Yeah.
714
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,280
{\an2}Now, with the greatest of respect,
715
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,000
{\an2}I thought that Joel might struggle
with this concept,
716
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,120
{\an2}but I didn't think it would
baffle you.
717
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,520
{\an2}Yeah. And I said to Alex during it,
718
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,760
{\an2}"You sort of sound like a remix
in it."
719
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,360
{\an2}She did, yeah. Have you got it?
I've got the remix.
720
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,440
{\an2}What we... What, what, what does
that entail?
721
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:10,280
{\an2}Gledhill remix. Yeah.
722
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,000
{\an2}I'm into that. Armando was a bit of
723
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,720
{\an2}a remix as well, wasn't he?
Slightly.
724
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,440
{\an2}Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
725
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:22,840
{\an2}We should collaborate.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah!
726
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:26,920
{\an2}What, what, what-what, what?
Yeah, yeah. What, what?
727
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,640
{\an2}We're on at the O2 next summer.
728
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:35,200
{\an2}Right, I want to see some people
make socks stand up.
729
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:36,560
{\an2}I know you do. I know you do.
730
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,840
{\an2}And it's good news for fans
of Amy and Joel,
731
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,040
{\an2}because now we're going to see
Amy and Joel.
732
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,160
{\an2}What classifies as standing up?
733
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,680
{\an2}Is that?
734
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,360
{\an2}Yeah, maybe. Maybe?
735
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,560
{\an2}Is that standing up?
736
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:53,600
{\an2}Sort of floating.
737
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,360
{\an2}I don't know what it's doing.
It might be standing up.
738
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,640
{\an2}Looks like there's someone on
the other side of the hedge.
739
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,080
{\an2}OK, well, OK.
740
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,280
{\an2}We're absolutely off to
a cracking start.
741
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,640
{\an2}This is my task.
Yeah, they're standing up, I think.
742
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,240
{\an2}Yeah? You think?
743
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,240
{\an2}Oh, I need you to be more confident
than that.
744
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:10,840
{\an2}Urgh!
745
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,560
{\an2}That is...
746
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:19,840
{\an2}That went straight on.
747
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,160
{\an2}That is fine.
748
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,560
{\an2}Oh, I just found a good one!
749
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,080
{\an1}APPLAUSE
750
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:42,640
{\an2}What if I got all of these
751
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,680
{\an2}and told a joke?
752
00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:47,640
{\an2}So they're doing stand up.
753
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,160
{\an2}Do you want a microphone?
754
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,720
{\an2}Is this good?
755
00:34:51,880 --> 00:34:53,440
{\an2}It's pretty weird. Yeah. OK.
756
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,960
{\an2}What did the...
757
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:01,080
{\an2}..shoe say to the loud sock?
758
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:02,320
{\an2}I don't know.
759
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,960
{\an2}Put a sock in it!
760
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,040
{\an2}Oh, dear.
761
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,680
{\an2}I've just made that up. That's good!
762
00:35:06,720 --> 00:35:08,080
{\an2}I've got to finish this fence.
763
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,080
{\an2}One-and-a-half minutes.
I gotta finish this fence.
764
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:13,360
{\an8}They're just standing up,
are they? Yes.
765
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,080
{\an1}WHISTLE
766
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:18,840
{\an2}What an ending.
767
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,440
{\an2}I believe in rights for everyone.
768
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:23,800
{\an2}Standing up for people?
769
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,040
{\an2}WHISTLE
Everyone?
770
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,320
{\an2}Oh!
771
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,600
{\an2}Oh, not... No! Good... Argh!
It's too late now.
772
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:32,000
{\an2}Don't put that on telly.
773
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,320
{\an2}There's a lot left.
774
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,040
{\an2}Thanks, Joel. See you later.
775
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,000
{\an2}Yeah. There were a lot left.
776
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:41,080
{\an2}Really good though.
777
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:44,640
{\an2}I really loved the ambition
of sock stand-up.
778
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,680
{\an2}You want to ride with that?
Because I'm going to allow it.
779
00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:48,160
{\an2}I'll tell you that now.
You're allowing that?
780
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,840
{\an2}Yeah. Yes! It was really great.
781
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,200
{\an2}This is the happiest I've seen you
for the whole show.
782
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:56,680
{\an2}Man, it was so fun.
But just putting things on things.
783
00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:57,880
{\an2}Yeah.
784
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,040
{\an2}Was there one sock in particular
that pleased you the most?
785
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,800
{\an2}Because there was one
that you popped on
786
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:03,760
{\an2}that pleased me the most.
I can't stop thinking about that.
787
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,360
{\an2}The top of the cactus.
Cactus! Oh, my God!
788
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,080
{\an2}Oh, it slipped on a treat, didn't
it?
789
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:14,080
{\an2}My favourite one was the one that
was just poking out of the hedge.
790
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,160
{\an2}Oh, yeah. Where
It looked like a very short
791
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,920
{\an2}but very well-endowed man
was just stood. Yeah!
792
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,120
{\an2}It was just coming out.
Just a lovely angle.
793
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,600
{\an2}It was just sort of soft lob. Yeah.
794
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,400
{\an2}Hedge Man wasn't fully ready
for action.
795
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,400
{\an2}If a soft lob counts as standing up
796
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,000
{\an2}then there's hope for many of us.
797
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:41,320
{\an2}Right, well, I guess I
should find out.
798
00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,320
{\an2}Are we counting the soft lob?
799
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:46,800
{\an2}Well, soft lob
is definitely standing.
800
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,760
{\an1}LAUGHTER
801
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:51,520
{\an2}There were 472 socks there in total.
802
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,560
{\an2}Amy got 280 of those socks up.
803
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,120
{\an2}ALL: Whoa!
804
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,320
{\an2}With Joel 91 including the lob.
805
00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,720
{\an2}Wow! 91. 91.
806
00:36:59,760 --> 00:37:02,000
{\an2}Amy well in front at this stage.
Shall we move on?
807
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,160
{\an2}Yeah. Why not?
808
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:06,560
{\an2}And now for a man
who is the same age as Brad Pitt.
809
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,120
{\an2}It's Armando Iannucci.
810
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:10,920
{\an2}Got to start with this. OK.
811
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,040
{\an2}How much time is left?
Plenty of time.
812
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,760
{\an2}12 minutes and 45 seconds. Christ.
813
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,320
{\an2}I'm sort of thinking,
814
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,240
{\an2}given the numbers involved here,
we need to go at scale.
815
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,000
{\an2}This will do it. Hang on.
816
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,840
{\an2}There we go.
817
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:31,920
{\an2}Here we go.
818
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:35,720
{\an8}Well, lovely to meet you.
819
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:41,360
{\an8}Um, what do you think of my, um,
standing-up socks?
820
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,240
{\an8}What do you think of those? Pardon?
821
00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,000
{\an8}Not... They wouldn't work for you?
822
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,640
{\an2}Your feet are webbed,
aren't they? Yeah.
823
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,680
{\an2}OK. I mean, to be honest,
I've run out of small talk.
824
00:37:52,720 --> 00:37:55,800
{\an2}There's only so many things you can
say to a duck on a chair.
825
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,160
{\an2}That's your time up, Armando.
Thank you very much.
826
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,760
{\an2}Oh, right. Some tea, I think.
827
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,720
{\an1}LAUGHTER
828
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,200
{\an2}Very good!
829
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,440
{\an2}I was already thrilled
before the walk.
830
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,000
{\an2}That's the sort of lateral thinking
and creativity
831
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:20,040
{\an2}that you can come up with
if you're not troubled by full lobs.
832
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,680
{\an2}Soon someone will win
a one-way flight to Venice
833
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,280
{\an2}and will be able to say,
834
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,200
{\an2}"I was deported by Amy Gledhill."
835
00:38:31,240 --> 00:38:32,240
{\an2}We'll see you in a minute.
836
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:34,280
{\an1}APPLAUSE
837
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,160
{\an2}Yes, yes! It's the final part of
838
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:47,040
{\an2}the show and there's a task that is
in need of completing.
839
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,440
{\an2}Thumbs up emoji.
840
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,600
{\an2}Yes, they just had to make
the most socks stand up.
841
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,040
{\an2}They've all had a go at it.
842
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:56,400
{\an2}Well, Joanna and Kumail haven't,
but they will right now.
843
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,920
{\an2}I'm putting them on myself.
That's a good idea.
844
00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:01,760
{\an2}OK, I'm going to do as many
as I can.
845
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,240
{\an2}Yes. That is three.
846
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,600
{\an2}Would you say
this sock is standing up?
847
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:07,640
{\an2}I mean, I don't know.
848
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,440
{\an1}KUMAIL CHUCKLES
849
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,480
{\an1}KUMAIL LAUGHS DEVIOUSLY
850
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:13,600
{\an2}Woo!
851
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:15,040
{\an2}This is what a rake is made for!
852
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,200
{\an2}This is perfect.
853
00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:17,640
{\an2}This is horrible.
854
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,240
{\an2}I don't like this. Right.
855
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:20,360
{\an2}Ugh, God.
856
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,200
{\an2}I'm going to have to start
putting some on the other foot.
857
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:24,960
{\an2}OK, then. It's starting to hurt
a bit. Is it?
858
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:29,360
{\an2}KUMAIL CHORTLES
Ah!
859
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,680
{\an2}HE GRUNTS
I'm feeling kind of maniacal,
860
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,000
{\an2}I don't know why.
861
00:39:38,240 --> 00:39:39,560
{\an2}Right, I can get a load on here,
862
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:40,840
{\an2}cos his legs are only thin.
863
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:41,920
{\an2}That's a good thought.
864
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:43,080
{\an2}Right. OK.
865
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,000
{\an2}Will you bring me the donkey,
please? I'd love to, yeah.
866
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,480
{\an2}Cos I don't think I can walk.
867
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,400
{\an2}Thank you.
868
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:50,960
{\an2}Let's see what this is like.
869
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,240
{\an2}I'm just going
to give the donkey a go.
870
00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:56,560
{\an2}Oh, look at that.
871
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,760
{\an2}Right. Two minutes, ten seconds.
872
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,680
{\an2}Oh!
HE GROANS
873
00:40:00,720 --> 00:40:03,560
{\an2}I think I might start on my arms.
Yeah.
874
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,880
{\an2}Kumail, there's one minute left.
875
00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,120
{\an2}WHISTLE
Wow, that is a triumphant pose, Jo.
876
00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:19,880
{\an2}KUMAIL LAUGHS
Standing up?
877
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,440
{\an2}Yeah, isn't it? Yeah.
878
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,920
{\an2}Everything's standing up.
APPLAUSE
879
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,400
{\an2}Really good.
APPLAUSE
880
00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,520
{\an2}APPLAUSE
Good.
881
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,520
{\an2}How many socks did
she make stand up?
882
00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,880
{\an2}Well, remember, with the soft lob,
Joel got 91.
883
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,440
{\an2}Joanna managed to get 95.
884
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,160
{\an2}Oh! ALL: Oooh! Not bad.
885
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,480
{\an2}Now... Now. Kumail.
886
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:44,880
{\an1}HE LAUGHS
887
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,360
{\an2}Well, all I wrote down was,
888
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:50,520
{\an2}"Why is Kumail laughing like
a cartoon baddie while tidying up?"
889
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,760
{\an2}LAUGHTER
I think, to be honest,
890
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,800
{\an2}the laughter came
when you struck upon the idea
891
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,040
{\an2}of stuffing a boiler suit
full of socks.
892
00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,920
{\an2}It's like a man that's standing up.
Yeah,
893
00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:02,240
{\an2}I like...I like the final image
of the man standing up.
894
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:04,560
{\an2}Obviously, we'll only be allowing
the socks that...
895
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,800
{\an2}Wait, what? But...but wait,
what do you mean...
896
00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:07,880
{\an2}What...what do you mean?
897
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:09,000
{\an2}Boo-ba-boo-ba-boh!
898
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:11,080
{\an2}AMY: What-what-what-wha?
Boo-bah-boh!
899
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:12,120
{\an1}LAUGHTER
900
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,840
{\an2}What-what-wha? Boo-bah-boh!
What-what-wha?
901
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,120
{\an1}LAUGHTER
902
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,720
{\an2}Um, just checking, are we counting
all the ones in the boiler suits?
903
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:21,880
{\an2}Yeah, I think...
All the ones in the...
904
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,680
{\an1}I think I am going to allow those.
HE CACKLES
905
00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:27,160
{\an2}In which case I can tell you
some points.
906
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,280
{\an2}Joel, one point, only 91 socks.
907
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:31,440
{\an2}Two points to Joanna with 95.
908
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,240
{\an2}Amy got 280 socks, three points.
909
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,800
{\an2}Kumail, there were 375 socks
standing up
910
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:37,920
{\an2}in that boiler suit and the boots,
but the winner,
911
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,840
{\an2}with 472 socks, five points,
912
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:41,720
{\an2}it's Armando Iannucci!
913
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,480
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
914
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,120
{\an2}Very good. Should we have
a quick look at the scores?
915
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,600
{\an2}Yes, it means those sock guys are
in first and second place.
916
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:50,760
{\an2}Kumail's on 16 points,
917
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,000
{\an2}but Armando is leading the episode
with 17 points.
918
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:56,320
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
919
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,360
{\an2}Wow! All right, everyone,
920
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,120
{\an2}please make your way to the stage
for the final task on the show!
921
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:04,560
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
922
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:10,560
{\an2}Hi there, you hunk!
923
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,240
{\an2}Oh! Me?
LAUGHTER
924
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,480
{\an2}Who will be reading the task?
Joanna Page. Joanna Page.
925
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,360
{\an2}"Snort, raspberry or whistle
926
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,160
{\an2}"in the order
the Taskmaster desires.
927
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,920
{\an2}"The task master will give you
a number sequence,
928
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:33,520
{\an2}"and you must reply immediately
with the corresponding noises.
929
00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,400
{\an2}"One equals snort,
930
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,920
{\an2}"two equals raspberry,
931
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:40,720
{\an2}"three equals whistle.
932
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,440
{\an2}"If you make a mistake,
you are out.
933
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,120
{\an2}"Most successful snort, raspberry,
934
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,480
{\an2}"and whistle responder wins."
935
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,440
{\an2}I genuinely cannot whistle.
936
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:53,840
{\an2}"Hoot!" will be acceptable.
937
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,000
{\an2}OK. Are we ready?
We're starting off in round one
938
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,000
{\an2}with a two-digit sequence.
939
00:42:58,040 --> 00:42:59,040
{\an2}Amy.
940
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:00,720
{\an2}Three, one.
941
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:03,520
{\an2}AMY WHISTLES, SNORTS
Good.
942
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,600
{\an2}Armando. Two, three.
943
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,680
{\an1}HE BLOWS RASPBERRY,
ATTEMPTS TO WHISTLE
944
00:43:08,720 --> 00:43:11,240
{\an2}WEAKLY: Hoot...
945
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:12,480
{\an2}Looks like you're off the hook.
946
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,960
{\an1}LAUGHTER
947
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:16,840
{\an2}Joanna. Three, three.
948
00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,400
{\an1}SHE WHISTLES WEAKLY TWICE
949
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:22,000
{\an1}LAUGHTER
950
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,360
{\an2}Aw, little baby bird!
951
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,720
{\an2}Three, two.
952
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:32,000
{\an1}HE WHISTLES LOUDLY
953
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:35,360
{\an1}HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
954
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:36,400
{\an2}Lovely.
955
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,760
{\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Lovely.
956
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,840
{\an2}Kumail, one, three.
957
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:42,840
{\an2}KUMAIL SNORTS
Hoo!
958
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:44,880
{\an2}OK. So they've all survived.
959
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:46,800
{\an2}I think we need to go up
to three digits, even.
960
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,000
{\an2}I agree. OK.
961
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:50,120
{\an2}Amy. Two, one, three.
962
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:53,080
{\an1}SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS,
WHISTLES
963
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:54,480
{\an2}Good. Three, two, one.
964
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:57,560
{\an1}HE TRIES TO WHISTLE, BLOWS
RASPBERRY, SNORTS
965
00:43:57,600 --> 00:43:59,400
{\an2}LAUGHTER
Two, two, one.
966
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:01,840
{\an1}SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY TWICE, SNORTS
967
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,080
{\an2}One, one, three.
968
00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:06,440
{\an1}HE SNORTS TWICE, WHISTLES
969
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:08,160
{\an2}Two, one, three.
970
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,200
{\an2}HE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS
Hoo!
971
00:44:10,240 --> 00:44:12,120
{\an1}ALL LAUGH
972
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,400
{\an2}Three, three, two.
973
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,040
{\an1}SHE WHISTLES WEAKLY TWICE,
BLOWS RASPBERRY
974
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,400
{\an2}Two, one, three.
975
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,760
{\an1}HE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS, WHISTLES
976
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,240
{\an2}Oh, my God, they're so good!
Should we go up to four?
977
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:22,960
{\an2}Should we go up to four?
We're going to four.
978
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,680
{\an2}I'm starting with Joanna. Here we
go.
979
00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:27,240
{\an2}Two, two, three, one.
980
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,960
{\an1}SHE BLOWS TWO RASPBERRIES
981
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:30,440
{\an1}SHE WHISTLES, SNORTS
982
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,880
{\an2}One, one, two, three.
983
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,280
{\an1}HE SNORTS TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
984
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,680
{\an1}HE WHISTLES LOUDLY
985
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:38,320
{\an2}One, three, two, one.
986
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,920
{\an1}HE SNORTS, BLOWS AIR
987
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,320
{\an1}HE BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS
988
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:44,480
{\an2}LAUGHTER
One, one. Two, three.
989
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:49,680
{\an2}SHE SNORTS TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
Oh!
990
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:51,440
{\an2}It was too long! Too slow.
991
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,000
{\an2}Amy Gledhill,
go to the disqualification bench.
992
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:56,800
{\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Right.
993
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,080
{\an2}So we're on Armando.
994
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,240
{\an2}Three, three, two, one.
995
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,000
{\an1}HE WHISTLES TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
996
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,040
{\an1}HE SNORTS
997
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:05,120
{\an2}Two, two, one, three.
998
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,080
{\an1}SHE BLOWS TWO RASPBERRIES, SNORTS
999
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,320
{\an2}SHE WHISTLES WEAKLY
One, two, three, one.
1000
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,240
{\an1}HE SNORTS, BLOWS RASPBERRY, SNORTS
1001
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:14,000
{\an2}No!No.
ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE
1002
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,440
{\an2}That's lost, Joel.
I'm blowing the whistle!
1003
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,280
{\an2}We lost Joel Dommett.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1004
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:19,320
{\an2}OK.
1005
00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:23,440
{\an2}Greg, would you like to go up
to five-digit sequences?
1006
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,880
{\an2}Oh, my God, I would.
It's a semifinal.
1007
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:27,080
{\an2}So we're on to Kumail.
1008
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:28,840
{\an2}Five? I'm the first guy to do five?
1009
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,840
{\an2}You're the first guy ever
to do five.
1010
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,680
{\an1}LAUGHTER
1011
00:45:33,720 --> 00:45:35,640
{\an2}One, three, two, one, two.
1012
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:38,000
{\an2}HE SNORTS
Hoot!
1013
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,200
{\an1}HE SNORTS, BLOWS RASPBERRY
ALEX BLOWS WHISTLE
1014
00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:41,680
{\an2}Afraid not. Now, that should have
been a raspberry.
1015
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:43,200
{\an2}The third should have been
a raspberry.
1016
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:45,600
{\an2}It was a raspberry. The snort should
have been a raspberry.
1017
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,160
{\an2}One, one, two, three, two.
1018
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,560
{\an1}HE SNORTS TWICE, BLOWS RASPBERRY
1019
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,880
{\an1}HE WHISTLES, BLOWS RASPBERRY
1020
00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:54,560
{\an2}Correct. Yes!
1021
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,000
{\an2}One, two, one, three, two.
1022
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,120
{\an1}SHE SNORTS
1023
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,320
{\an1}SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY, ALL LAUGH
1024
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,000
{\an2}We have a winner, everyone.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1025
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:06,800
{\an1}HE BLOWS RASPBERRY
1026
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,400
{\an2}I'll add that to your final scores.
Come and join me!
1027
00:46:10,440 --> 00:46:13,000
{\an2}Mr Armando Iannucci!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1028
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:17,760
{\an2}Well!
1029
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:18,800
{\an2}Yeah!
1030
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,520
{\an2}That was an absolute...
GREG WHISTLES
1031
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:22,520
{\an2}That's a fun task. They were so good
at making noises
1032
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:23,680
{\an2}in the correct order, weren't they?
1033
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:25,920
{\an2}Weren't they! The worst was Amy,
but only just.
1034
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:28,160
{\an2}I mean, you deserve more than
one point, but that's all you get.
1035
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:30,440
{\an1}SHE BLOWS RASPBERRY, LAUGHS
1036
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:32,480
{\an2}Amy got one, Joel, two,
Kumail, three,
1037
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:34,600
{\an2}Joanna, four, Armando, five.
Which means...
1038
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,440
{\an2}..the final scoreboard.
1039
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:38,920
{\an2}It's his second victory.
At the bottom, Amy and Joel,
1040
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:40,200
{\an2}the happy guys on ten points.
1041
00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:42,600
{\an2}At the top, Armando has got
22 points!
1042
00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:44,920
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1043
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,320
{\an2}Armando Iannucci wins!
1044
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,960
{\an2}Please come to the stage
to bag your bounty of bumpy things!
1045
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,480
{\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1046
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,120
{\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media