1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,280 {\an2}This programme contains strong language 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:06,000 {\an2}Tickets, please. 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,360 {\an2}Oh! 4 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,040 {\an2}Yeah. This isn't my fault. 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,840 {\an2}Oh my God. Oh my God! 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,240 {\an2}Aaah! 7 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,840 {\an1}PHONE RINGS 8 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:22,920 {\an2}Bloody hell! Mum? Aah! 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,400 {\an1}AUDIENCE CHEERING 10 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:26,960 {\an2}I say! 11 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 12 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:39,200 {\an2}Welcome! Welcome to Taskmaster. 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:44,000 {\an2}A bovine bolt gun into the soft confidence of comedians' self-worth. 14 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,440 {\an2}We're four in and there's something in the air. 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,680 {\an2}And it's not Little Miss Trumpy Pants who sits next to me. 16 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:54,040 {\an2}It's the smell of hope. "Surely, this episode, I'll get some points. 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,600 {\an2}"Surely, this time, he'll make a kind comment. 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,600 {\an2}"Throw me a 'well done'. Unlikely. 19 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,960 {\an2}"He's probably been up half the night because his prostate's massive." 20 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,280 {\an2}Let's see. 21 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,080 {\an2}Please welcome Chloe Petts! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 22 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,960 {\an2}Isy Suttie! 23 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,400 {\an2}Matt Lucas! 24 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,000 {\an2}Nina Conti! 25 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,720 {\an2}And Richard Ayoade. 26 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:17,760 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 27 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,040 {\an2}And next to me, a man who tells me 28 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,200 {\an2}that every time a fan asks for a photo, 29 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,920 {\an2}he finds it hard to smile through his utter revulsion. 30 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,080 {\an2}It's little Alex Horne! 31 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,120 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 32 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,280 {\an2}Uh... 33 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,360 {\an2}Hello, Greg. Hello. Before we start, 34 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,280 {\an2}if we could all hold hands and bow our heads. 35 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:39,520 {\an2}Thank you. GREG SIGHS 36 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:40,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 37 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,400 {\an2}I'm gonna go no contact on this. Fair enough. Except for Richard. 38 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:46,400 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah. And just some gentle humming, please, Greg. 39 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,640 {\an2}Mmm... ALL HUMMING 40 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,080 {\an2}Let us take a moment to appreciate what we're about to do. 41 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,800 {\an2}May we enjoy this experience fully, share it joyfully, 42 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:56,480 {\an2}and remember those who either have done the show 43 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,920 {\an2}and did it badly, 44 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,400 {\an2}or haven't been asked to do the show yet 45 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,640 {\an2}and it's getting awkward now. 46 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,440 {\an2}Please let this television recording process nourish our bodies, 47 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,240 {\an2}our minds, and the bonds between us. 48 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,480 {\an2}And please let there be no biting or scratching this time. 49 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:10,000 {\an2}Thank you. That's it. 50 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:12,360 {\an2}Nice. Just set the tone, hasn't it? It's nice. 51 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,120 {\an2}It was just generating a hot atmosphere. 52 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:18,920 {\an2}And it's certainly worked. 53 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,560 {\an2}Because in a room full of nearly 300 people, 54 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:23,560 {\an2}pin-drop silence. 55 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,280 {\an2}I would very much like to hear the prize task category, Alex. 56 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,760 {\an2}Well, we'd all very much like to hear things, Greg. 57 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,600 {\an2}I want to go to a Shakira concert. Meanwhile... 58 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,560 {\an2}This time... # La la, la la, la la! # 59 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,080 {\an2}Oh! She's here! 60 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,120 {\an2}This time, they've been asked to bring in 61 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,440 {\an2}what they think is the juiciest thing. 62 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,160 {\an2}Ooh! AUDIENCE: Oooh! 63 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,880 {\an2}Thank you. But whose thing is juiciest? 64 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,520 {\an2}Well, that's up to Greggy. 65 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,080 {\an2}He's going to juice them for everything... 66 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,760 {\an1}LAUGHTER 67 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:55,880 {\an2}He's going to juice them for everything they've got, 68 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,240 {\an2}and he's going to give five points for the juiciest thing. 69 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:01,320 {\an2}So let's hear from the Juice Judge right now. It's Greg Davies! 70 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:04,000 {\an2}Whoo! Richard, juice me up. 71 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:07,840 {\an2}I've brought in 72 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,480 {\an2}Peter Stringfellow's autobiography, 73 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,280 {\an2}called King of Clubs. 74 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,320 {\an2}Wow. 75 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,080 {\an2}This is Peter Stringfellow's autobiography, King of Clubs, 76 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,760 {\an2}written by Peter Stringfellow, 77 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,160 {\an2}published by Little, Brown Book Group. 78 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,720 {\an2}I have to say some things legally now. 79 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,600 {\an2}It's interesting the cover. 80 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,680 {\an2}He looks very dapper, but that's in stark contrast 81 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,120 {\an2}with the juicy stuff inside. 82 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,480 {\an2}Yeah. A lot of the juice we can't go into... 83 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,480 {\an2}Mmm. ..um, in this book for legal reasons. 84 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,800 {\an2}Um, but let me tell you, squeeze that book and you'll get wet. 85 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:42,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER 86 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,800 {\an2}Did you know that Peter Stringfellow was probably 87 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,960 {\an2}the first person in Britain to backcomb his hair? 88 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,280 {\an2}Huh! CHLOE LAUGHS 89 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,480 {\an2}That's the sort of juice I was looking for. RICHARD: Exactly. 90 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:59,040 {\an2}The aim is to speak positively about the book. 91 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,760 {\an2}Yep. So I'll stop there. 92 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,240 {\an2}It's a strong start. Uh, Matt. 93 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:10,480 {\an2}It's rare that you sit here and know that you've won the task. 94 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,520 {\an2}Wow. Ooh. 95 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:16,120 {\an2}I just want to confirm what your sexuality is currently. 96 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,400 {\an2}You're both currently heterosexual. Is that right? 97 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,400 {\an2}Currently. OK. Well... 98 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,760 {\an2}That may be... Yep? That may be about to change. 99 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:28,120 {\an2}Because I've brought in a photo of my bottom circa 2006. 100 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,360 {\an2}There you go. 101 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER 102 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,600 {\an2}There you go. That... 103 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,240 {\an2}..certainly has tipped me over into straight. 104 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,200 {\an2}Yeah... Oh! LAUGHTER 105 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,240 {\an2}Oh. 106 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,280 {\an2}Oh. I wouldn't mind a slightly closer look. Yeah, go for it. 107 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,600 {\an2}Yes! Yeah. Phwoar! I would if I wasn't already me. 108 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,840 {\an2}Incredible. I like Matt's big butt. I cannot lie. 109 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,120 {\an2}No, no. And you shouldn't. Nina? OK... 110 00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,360 {\an2}I've brought one of my ventriloquist masks, 111 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,120 {\an2}cos they get juice out of people. 112 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,480 {\an2}May I put it on you, Alex? Yeah, him. 113 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,920 {\an2}OK, so the winner of the episode gets this. 114 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,160 {\an2}OK. Oh! 115 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:14,080 {\an2}I usually do this with, um, non-professionals. 116 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,240 {\an2}I don't think you'll see much difference. Yeah. 117 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,360 {\an1}NINA LAUGHS 118 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:21,360 {\an2}I tried to make it say the thing it looks like you're trying to say, 119 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,280 {\an2}you know, rather than force anything on you. No. 120 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,280 {\an2}So I'll just... I hope you don't start slagging off your fans again. 121 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,720 {\an2}Well, do you like your fans? "I don't like my fans." 122 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,080 {\an2}Why not? "I don't like my fans, all right? 123 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,040 {\an2}"I don't like them. 124 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:41,240 {\an2}"I don't like 'em. I shag 'em, but I don't like them." Oh! 125 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:47,280 {\an2}Whoa! "Oh, I'm a juicy one. I'm a juicy one. 126 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,080 {\an2}"I want to sit on your lap, Greg. 127 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:56,000 {\an2}"Please can I sit on your lap, Greg?" You may. 128 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,520 {\an2}"Yes!" CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 129 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,240 {\an2}That's nice. 130 00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,520 {\an2}"Squeeze me till the juice comes, Greg. 131 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,400 {\an2}"Squeeze me!" GIGGLES 132 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:12,480 {\an2}# "You are a juicy one I am a juicy one 133 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:16,120 {\an2}# "Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy juice Yeah." # 134 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,600 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 135 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,120 {\an2}I'm sorry. How did you read my mind? 136 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:30,960 {\an2}Wow. Honestly, I don't know why your bum is so hot. 137 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,920 {\an2}Isy? Bring the juice. 138 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:38,720 {\an2}I have made a montage 139 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:40,680 {\an2}of two juicy fruits 140 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:43,600 {\an2}playing tennis to the point of deuce. 141 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,720 {\an2}MATT: Ohhhh! 142 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,400 {\an2}Lovely bit of wordplay. All her own work. 143 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,360 {\an2}ALL: Oh! 144 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,240 {\an2}How long did it take, Isy? 145 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,800 {\an2}Well, first I decided to make them out of papier mache. 146 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,200 {\an2}And they were giant. Right? And that was... 147 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:00,120 {\an2}That was taking weeks. 148 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,360 {\an2}You know that you can control the size of papier mache, right? 149 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:06,840 {\an2}See also, I'd used... 150 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,640 {\an2}I'd used tabloids to make the papier mache... 151 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,640 {\an2}Tabloid papers. ..which had juicy gossip. 152 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:19,840 {\an2}ALL: Aaah! Oh, my God, there's juice upon juice upon deuce. 153 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,000 {\an2}Yes! Lots of effort. Now we're talking. 154 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:26,960 {\an2}Chloe. Juice me. Uh, I've done a papier mache of my butt. 155 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,720 {\an2}God almighty, what's wrong with you people? 156 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,880 {\an2}NINA: It's juicy. That's not your butt. 157 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,080 {\an2}Yeah, I've got... I've been squatting for Taskmaster. 158 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,840 {\an2}It is also, when you turn it... 159 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,720 {\an2}Here we go. ..a juice blender. 160 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:47,440 {\an2}Lovely bit of work. 161 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,600 {\an2}Greg, do you want to guess where the juice comes out of? 162 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,160 {\an2}Oh, God. 163 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,960 {\an2}I'm not sure he's gonna like this photo. 164 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 165 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,120 {\an2}I mean, it's one of the worst things I've ever seen. 166 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,560 {\an2}All right, here we go. I'm giving Richard two points. Oh. 167 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:13,800 {\an2}I'm going to give three points to Chloe and Matt. 168 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,320 {\an2}Four points to Nina for getting the juice out of you. 169 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:20,000 {\an2}But five points is fruit playing tennis. Deuce! 170 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,080 {\an2}Five points to Isy Suttie!Yes! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 171 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,120 {\an2}Ace. Happy with that. 172 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,560 {\an2}Alex, let's start off with a task proper, please. 173 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,240 {\an2}Got it. And this one features sage advice 174 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,800 {\an2}for any future Taskmaster contestants. 175 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,160 {\an2}Nina. Shall I sit down? Yes. 176 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,240 {\an8}There's the chair. There's the table. There's the task. 177 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,280 {\an8}I had wondered. 178 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,560 {\an2}There's the task. There's the table. 179 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:51,600 {\an2}It's exciting, isn't it? 180 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,400 {\an2}I feel quite led by that. Yeah. 181 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,040 {\an2}Find and complete the actual task. 182 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,000 {\an2}SIGHS WHISPERS:Why? 183 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,400 {\an2}Everything you say from now on must be a question. 184 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,480 {\an2}If you say something that isn't a question, 185 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,040 {\an2}one minute will be added to your time, will it? 186 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,400 {\an2}Your time starts now? 187 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:13,560 {\an2}Now look under the table? 188 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,640 {\an2}We're off. Are we? 189 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,720 {\an2}Are you all right with this one, Isy? Happy? 190 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,360 {\an2}Are you all right with it? I'm fine with it. Yeah. 191 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,640 {\an2}You all right with it? Am I all right with it? 192 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,840 {\an2}Does the pig fly? Does the pig fly? Yes? 193 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,840 {\an1}APPLAUSE 194 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,760 {\an2}Does the pig fly? 195 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,200 {\an2}Does it? Does it? 196 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:40,560 {\an2}I think we should just get straight on to it. All right. 197 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,880 {\an2}Ask me if I want to see it. Do you want to see it? 198 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,320 {\an2}MIMICKING ISY: Does the pig fly? 199 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:48,600 {\an2}OK, we're gonna start with those three on the left there. 200 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,000 {\an2}Chloe, Isy and Matt. 201 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,640 {\an2}So you want me to look under the table? 202 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:54,200 {\an2}Yes, please, Matt. 203 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,200 {\an1}COMICAL MUSIC PLAYING 204 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:01,880 {\an2}Is this the only table? 205 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:05,480 {\an2}Are you seriously expecting me to look under every table? 206 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:11,600 {\an2}Have I just found the next clue? 207 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,160 {\an2}There are a lot of tables, aren't there? 208 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,960 {\an2}Oh, yeah. There's loads of tables. 209 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,640 {\an2}SIGHS How many tables are in this house? 210 00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,240 {\an2}Philosophically, what are we counting as a table? 211 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,400 {\an2}Oh, this is too much for me. 212 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,880 {\an2}I think it is, don't you? 213 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,880 {\an1}HE CHUCKLES 214 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,200 {\an2}Is this the tiniest table of them all? Nope. 215 00:10:33,240 --> 00:10:36,080 {\an2}Is this the smallest envelope in the building? No. 216 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,800 {\an2}"What is a table?" 217 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,880 {\an2}"Are you a table?" 218 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,440 {\an2}"Did you look under the table in the lab?" 219 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:49,400 {\an2}Is it in here? What is that? 220 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:50,720 {\an2}Is this something? 221 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,200 {\an2}That's a water table, yeah. 222 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,320 {\an2}Do you want me to lift this up so I can look underneath it? 223 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,840 {\an2}"What is the atomic number of hydrogen?" 224 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,920 {\an2}Yeah. Just wondering. Do you think it might be two? 225 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,040 {\an2}I don't know. I don't know how you find out these things. 226 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,000 {\an2}Hello? Table? 227 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:11,840 {\an2}"Are you comfortable?" 228 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,600 {\an2}Did I forget to look under that table? 229 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,280 {\an2}"Have you looked at the columns?" 230 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,840 {\an2}"Is this the sort of thing you like doing periodically?" 231 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:24,920 {\an2}Do you? 232 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,520 {\an2}Is there a periodic table in the house? 233 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,600 {\an2}Of course. It's the Taskmaster house. 234 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,680 {\an1}CHLOE CHUCKLES 235 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,800 {\an1}CHUCKLING GETTING LOUDER 236 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,200 {\an2}"When is a table not a table?" 237 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,960 {\an2}Oh! 238 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,360 {\an2}When it's a periodic table? APPLAUSE 239 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:50,960 {\an2}Are there columns in this room? It's definitely got columns. 240 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,680 {\an2}Hah? This one? Is that a periodic table? 241 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,040 {\an2}Is this the one I missed? 242 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:03,400 {\an2}"Say your seven times table. Fastest wins." 243 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,680 {\an2}Fastest wins. Seven, followed by 14. 244 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:12,000 {\an2}28, 35, 42. 63. 70. Up to 12, please. 245 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,240 {\an2}77. 84. I've stopped the clock. 246 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,280 {\an2}84. 247 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,800 {\an2}77 followed by 84? 248 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,560 {\an2}I've stopped the clock. Well done, Matt. 249 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,240 {\an2}Do I still have to talk in questions? 250 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,800 {\an2}No, but I think you always will now. 251 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 252 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,040 {\an2}Good. They all seemed to do the task very well. 253 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,480 {\an2}CHLOE: Hmm. There was certainly more urgency 254 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,200 {\an2}to Chloe's attempt than perhaps Matt's. 255 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,400 {\an2}Would that be fair? Well, I've got a lot on. 256 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,720 {\an1}LAUGHTER 257 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,800 {\an2}Matt only made two mistakes in terms of the questions. 258 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,360 {\an2}Did I only make two? 259 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,280 {\an2}Uh, Isy, also two mistakes. 260 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,600 {\an2}What do you mean, mistakes? CHLOE: Hm! Not asking questions. 261 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,720 {\an2}Does the pig fly? 262 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,840 {\an2}Can you give us an example of the statements 263 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,160 {\an2}that we made rather than questions, please? 264 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,640 {\an2}You said, "I don't know," and "I'm going outside." 265 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,760 {\an2}That does sound like something I would say. 266 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,600 {\an2}LAUGHTER Mm-hm. 267 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:11,160 {\an2}Do we have a stop now? Are you having a nice time? 268 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,120 {\an2}Does Alex give you the creeps 269 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,440 {\an2}even though he hasn't technically done anything wrong? 270 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,520 {\an2}Me too. We'll see you after the break. 271 00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:20,000 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 272 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,000 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 273 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:30,320 {\an2}Welcome back! It's part two, and we're in the middle of a task 274 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,320 {\an2}where they have to find the actual task. 275 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,360 {\an2}Do they? And everything they say must be a question? 276 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,640 {\an2}Yes! It's fastest wins now for two people from the 1970s. 277 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,280 {\an2}It's Richard and Nina. 278 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,120 {\an2}You could call this a console table. 279 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,760 {\an2}BUZZER SOUNDS Was that a question? 280 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,320 {\an2}Yeah? 281 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:53,560 {\an2}Is everything a question so long as it goes up at the end? 282 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:55,480 {\an2}Pfft. That's arguable. 283 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,720 {\an2}Do you think I would be wise to head out? 284 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,720 {\an2}Not necessarily. OK? 285 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,280 {\an1}BUZZER SOUNDS 286 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,760 {\an2}I think "OK" has let you down. "OK" is a question. 287 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,280 {\an2}BUZZER SOUNDS It can be a question.OK? 288 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,720 {\an2}It's not always a question. Isn't it? 289 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,680 {\an2}I'm being too slow, aren't I? 290 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,320 {\an2}I'm enjoying the questions too much, aren't I? 291 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,880 {\an2}I'll go outside, won't I? 292 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,440 {\an2}Hello. Hello... 293 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,000 {\an2}..is a nice thing to say, isn't it? 294 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,520 {\an2}BUZZER SOUNDS Nah, that wasn't very good. 295 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,320 {\an2}What is the atomic number of hydrogen? 296 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,560 {\an2}I don't straightforwardly know anything. 297 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:34,160 {\an2}BUZZER SOUNDS I don't know why I'm here. 298 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,880 {\an2}BUZZER SOUNDS I don't know why I woke up. 299 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:39,200 {\an2}BUZZER SOUNDS I don't know what life is. 300 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,640 {\an1}BUZZER SOUNDS 301 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,160 {\an2}"How would you describe this period of your life?" 302 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,280 {\an2}It's easy to use words like "waste", isn't it? 303 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,560 {\an2}It is. 304 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,760 {\an2}"Are you in your element?" LAUGHS 305 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,520 {\an2}Am I ever! 306 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,760 {\an2}I think that was French. BUZZER SOUNDS 307 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,800 {\an2}Ou se trouve le tableau pertinent? 308 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:09,880 {\an2}Huh. 309 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,040 {\an2}You expect me to read this? 310 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,440 {\an2}"Have you..." Yeah. "..looked..." 311 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,880 {\an2}"..under the periodic table 312 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,080 {\an2}"above the portrait of Greg in the living room?" 313 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,880 {\an2}What do you think? I don't think you have. 314 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,840 {\an1}SHE GASPS 315 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:33,840 {\an2}Lovely? Lovely. 316 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,360 {\an2}"Say your..." 317 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,720 {\an2}"..seven times table." 318 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,880 {\an2}14, 21, 28. 319 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:44,360 {\an2}Seven, 14, 21, 28, 35, 42, 49, 56, 320 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,520 {\an2}63, 70, 77, 84. I've stopped the clock. 321 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,360 {\an2}Well done, Richard. Thank you? 322 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,800 {\an2}77, uh... 84. Stop the clock. Well done. 323 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,480 {\an1}SHE SIGHS 324 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,000 {\an2}Oh! 325 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,720 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 326 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,040 {\an2}Oh, in many ways, the highlight of the task, really. 327 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,320 {\an2}MIMICKING NINA: Ohhh! 328 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,920 {\an2}Richard had an existential crisis 329 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,320 {\an2}and didn't ask a lot of questions halfway through. 330 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,640 {\an2}Just a lot of statements. 66 non-questions. 331 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,000 {\an2}AUDIENCE: Oh! 332 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:23,200 {\an2}"66 Non-Questions" is the title of my new album. 333 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 334 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,720 {\an2}I mean, there were things like, 335 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:32,120 {\an2}"I didn't know that was a shed." "Because torture can get heavy." 336 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:34,120 {\an2}"We don't have bird tables in my culture." 337 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,720 {\an2}66 non-questions. 66 non-questions. Yeah. 338 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,680 {\an2}Compared to two, two, two, and three from Nina. 339 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,360 {\an2}I think Nina only, uh, made two mistakes, 340 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,640 {\an2}because she said "Hello is a nice thing to say, isn't it?" 341 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:47,920 {\an2}And there was a "baaarrrp". 342 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,120 {\an2}It was cancelled out. Why? That's a question. 343 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,640 {\an2}I can't remember that... Well, I remembered. 344 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,520 {\an2}And you know why? Because I don't hate women. 345 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 346 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,360 {\an1}CHEERING 347 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,880 {\an2}I did think that was uncharacteristically harsh, Alex. 348 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,760 {\an2}Can... Is there any... Oh, it's very characteristic, really. 349 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,680 {\an2}This is the one, Nina, we have punished you for. 350 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,160 {\an2}Hello... 351 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,920 {\an2}..is a nice thing to say, isn't it? 352 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,760 {\an2}BUZZER SOUNDS Nah, that wasn't very good. 353 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,200 {\an2}"Hello is a nice thing to say, isn't it?" It's clearly a question. 354 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,560 {\an2}I think it's a question. 355 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,920 {\an2}I think you thought the sentence had ended, 356 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,720 {\an2}and that "isn't it?" was appended. 357 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,280 {\an2}Ooh. Thank you. I don't think it was a question. 358 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,840 {\an2}It was. You... But that's not what I think. 359 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:37,120 {\an2}That's only what you do in your campaign against women. 360 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,000 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 361 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,840 {\an2}I'm overruling you. 362 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,840 {\an2}It was clearly a question in my mind. Yeah. Can you strike one of my 66? 363 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,480 {\an2}So Chloe, Isy, Matt and Nina 364 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,360 {\an2}all made just two mistakes. Yes. 365 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,200 {\an2}Compared to Richard's 66. Which means... 366 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,760 {\an2}Which means what? Richard's the winner, I suppose. 367 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,840 {\an2}Unfortunately, Richard gets just the one point, 368 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,960 {\an2}because he took 117 minutes and 30 seconds. 369 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,560 {\an2}Chloe gets two points. 370 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,080 {\an2}They were the second slowest. 371 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,400 {\an2}14 minutes 55, with your two-minute penalty. 372 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,440 {\an2}Then we have Matt. Ten minutes 29. 373 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,040 {\an2}Nina, nine minutes five. 374 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,880 {\an2}But it's five points to Isy, with eight minutes and 49 seconds. 375 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,560 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 376 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,640 {\an2}Wow. 377 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,600 {\an2}Not bad for someone who's usually 378 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,280 {\an2}just tottering around on her high heels. 379 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,640 {\an2}OK! 380 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,840 {\an2}I... GREG LAUGHING 381 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,720 {\an2}And I demand to see a scoreboard. 382 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,760 {\an2}Well, Isy has come last 383 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,400 {\an2}in the first three episodes of the series, 384 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,240 {\an2}but she is currently crushing it with a maximum ten points. 385 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:39,840 {\an2}Wow! 386 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,400 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 387 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,720 {\an2}Do you have another task for me? Uh... Ooh! 388 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,640 {\an2}Good news. I do. Unfortunately, this one is the pits. 389 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,840 {\an1}ECHOING CRYING 390 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,880 {\an1}THUNDER CRASHING 391 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,920 {\an1}DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING 392 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:05,920 {\an2}Thanks. I was worried I wouldn't be able to get through. Yeah. 393 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:11,720 {\an2}We've decided we're really gonna to try and win this. 394 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,680 {\an2}Yeah. Yeah. A lot of mirroring going on. 395 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,360 {\an1}THEY LAUGH 396 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,400 {\an2}CHLOE: Ah. Ah! Do you wanna... Yeah. Go on, then. ..do that? 397 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,680 {\an2}OK. No, you can do it. You do it. 398 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,520 {\an2}OK. You're good at reading. 399 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,960 {\an2}"Create the most powerful piece of art..." 400 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,320 {\an2}"..involving one or more of your armpits." 401 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:42,080 {\an2}"You have 15 minutes." Involving. Involving. OK. 402 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:47,320 {\an2}Powerful. Involving one or more of your armpits. 403 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,120 {\an1}LAUGHTER 404 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,240 {\an2}Your time starts now. I have alopecia. 405 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,440 {\an2}So, full disclosure, I have a little armpit hair, but not a lot. 406 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,800 {\an2}Yeah. Whereas... There's evidence to suggest... Yeah. 407 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,680 {\an2}..that maybe you don't have a lot of armpit hair. 408 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,240 {\an2}You know, like, when kids paint using their hands and feet? 409 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,680 {\an2}Oh, yeah. Could we somehow smear paint into our armpits 410 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,480 {\an2}and put that onto paper? Yeah... 411 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,440 {\an2}How about you? Under one of my armpits, 412 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,400 {\an2}there's a third head. 413 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,680 {\an2}Right. 414 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,640 {\an2}Guys, is there any possibility that we could... Go slower? 415 00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,160 {\an2}Um, if we could really keep on task. 416 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,000 {\an2}Huh. That's not...probably not gonna happen that well. OK. 417 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,640 {\an2}So, look, just think about it. We've got... 418 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,720 {\an2}There's nothing to lean on in this place. We've got one armpit here. 419 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,200 {\an2}One armpit here. Lean on me. 420 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,840 {\an2}We've got... Who are you? Ben E King? Yeah. 421 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:36,880 {\an2}Thank you. Thank you. I'm here all week. 422 00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:37,960 {\an2}Ben E King. 423 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,440 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 424 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:51,600 {\an2}Chloe's reaction to a Ben E King joke made twice was perfect. 425 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,080 {\an2}It was the grumpiest face we've seen so far. 426 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,520 {\an2}Did you capture the grumpy face? Yes, I did. Here we go. 427 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER 428 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,720 {\an2}They didn't like that, did they? 429 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,400 {\an2}The thing is, like... 430 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,240 {\an2}edited at home, it's very charming to watch. 431 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,840 {\an2}Yeah. It's whimsical. 432 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:09,680 {\an2}But when you're getting the raw, live footage, 433 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:11,480 {\an2}it's incredibly frustrating. 434 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,680 {\an2}Um, Richard, you said that under your armpit is a third head. 435 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,280 {\an2}And I suppose what I'm intrigued by is 436 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,600 {\an2}what is the second head that you refer to? 437 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER 438 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,000 {\an2}The third head swallowed it. 439 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,440 {\an2}Wow. 440 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:40,720 {\an2}First up, with four armpits between them, it's Isy and Nina. 441 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,280 {\an2}What colour paper would you like? White? Yeah, let's try white. 442 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,960 {\an2}Is it...is it... OK, let's... Can we... 443 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:56,080 {\an2}Oh, this is really good. It's gonna catch on. 444 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,960 {\an2}OK. OK. Let's do one... 445 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,600 {\an2}Looks great. Is...is this powerful? 446 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:07,040 {\an2}Yeah. OK. Oh, it's quite tiring. Black now. Yeah. 447 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,440 {\an2}Yes. 448 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,520 {\an2}Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. 449 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:22,160 {\an2}That's good. 450 00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:31,440 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 451 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,600 {\an2}Both of you, very tight grips with your armpits. 452 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:36,640 {\an2}I don't think I've ever gripped anything with it before. 453 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,760 {\an2}Never that strong before, no. 454 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,200 {\an2}OK, you may go. Thank you. Thank you. 455 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,240 {\an1}APPLAUSE 456 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:51,400 {\an2}I mean, it looked like a 1970s porn film occasionally. 457 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,160 {\an2}There's something about watching us from the back. 458 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,760 {\an2}We had to be so precise. 459 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:02,440 {\an2}It looked so gross from behind. Very uncertain lovers. 460 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,520 {\an2}Um... LAUGHTER 461 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:08,280 {\an2}What a lovely title for a film. "Uncertain Lovers." 462 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,120 {\an2}I mean, I have never gripped anything. 463 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:12,720 {\an2}Well, you said... I wrote it down. You said, 464 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,840 {\an2}"I don't think I've ever gripped anything with it before." 465 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:15,880 {\an2}And I thought, "I don't think 466 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,520 {\an2}"I've ever gripped anything with my armpit before." 467 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:21,520 {\an2}No. But Nina said, "No, never this strong." 468 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,560 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 469 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:28,160 {\an2}The implication is you've gripped something lightly with it. 470 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:37,560 {\an2}Well, this is their powerful piece of art, done only with armpits. 471 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,560 {\an8}Oh my God. ISY: It's so... It's really, like, arty. 472 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,040 {\an2}It's quite like Picasso, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. 473 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:51,600 {\an2}I mean, "Dad, question mark" is the one that stands out to me. 474 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:57,080 {\an2}"Death, love, Joe." NINA: Job. Job, job. Job! 475 00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:02,040 {\an2}Oh, lovely. Lovely. Lovely! That's undeniably powerful. 476 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:03,880 {\an2}It asks questions. Yeah. 477 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,920 {\an2}It's time for an armpit-stop and a little treat. 478 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,640 {\an2}Alex is gonna play us into the break with his armpit. 479 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:10,880 {\an2}Yeah. 480 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,920 {\an1}BAGPIPES PLAYING 481 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,120 {\an2}Bye! 482 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,160 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 483 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,920 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 484 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:31,240 {\an2}Hello and welcome back to the third part of the show. 485 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,960 {\an2}The current task involves armpits and art. 486 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,320 {\an2}Yes, and the most powerful piece of armpit-based art wins. 487 00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:40,400 {\an2}So let's have a look at the team of three. 488 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,000 {\an1}GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING 489 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:54,240 {\an1}HUMMING 490 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,000 {\an1}LOUD BURPING 491 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,840 {\an1}HUMMING, GUITAR PLAYING 492 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,040 {\an1}GUITAR STOPS, CHLOE CONTINUES HUMMING 493 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:33,560 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 494 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:34,960 {\an2}APPLAUSE Powerful. 495 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,440 {\an2}Thank you. Mm. Thank you. 496 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,320 {\an2}BURPS There we go. 497 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,280 {\an2}Thanks, team. Alex? Yes? Can you slow that down? 498 00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:46,840 {\an2}And you play it very long over the top of the piece. 499 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,000 {\an2}Will do. Thank you. 500 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:53,360 {\an1}SLOWED BURP 501 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:55,400 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 502 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:03,120 {\an2}Good to see the artist taking their work seriously. 503 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:09,040 {\an2}Um, look, it didn't come out as we envisaged it. 504 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,400 {\an2}We... Speak for yourself. 505 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,520 {\an2}That's exactly what I imagined it would be like. 506 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,840 {\an2}What we were going for was not The Scream. 507 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,080 {\an2}Yeah. But The Burp. 508 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,240 {\an2}Yes. And then we thought it would be nice 509 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,920 {\an2}for the breeze to flow through my ample armpit hair. 510 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,800 {\an2}Yes. The breeze was the burp. 511 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,200 {\an2}No, the burp was the burp, Matt. Oh, sorry. 512 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:37,120 {\an2}Is a googly-eyed character who lives in an armpit who does a big burp... 513 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,440 {\an2}Is it as powerful as The Scream? Oh, I think...I think... 514 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,320 {\an2}I think, in many ways, it's more... It's more vital. 515 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,120 {\an2}How so? I think... Well, because... 516 00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,560 {\an2}well, because I think it has an urgency to it. 517 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:55,400 {\an2}Could I have some insight as to why the main character lost their eye? 518 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,040 {\an2}I feel they burped their own eye off. 519 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,880 {\an2}Wow. 520 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,240 {\an2}It not only burped both of its eyes off, 521 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:04,960 {\an2}it burped its own mouth off. 522 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:06,000 {\an2}RICHARD: Yes. 523 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,800 {\an2}In a way, it was a kind of act of self-erasure 524 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,040 {\an2}that I find almost unbearably moving. 525 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,640 {\an2}These are the two powerful works of art side by side. 526 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,800 {\an1}CHLOE LAUGHS RICHARD: I'd go and see that band. 527 00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,680 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 528 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,840 {\an2}I mean, there's barely anything between these two great pieces. 529 00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:30,600 {\an2}What slightly separates them in terms of the power 530 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,480 {\an2}is the choice to put two googly eyes on your armpit. 531 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,400 {\an2}So you're saying that that was more powerful? 532 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,200 {\an2}No. CHLOE: Ah. 533 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:43,000 {\an2}I'm giving five points to the group of two, 534 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,000 {\an2}four points to the group of three. 535 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:49,000 {\an2}And that's purely because I cannot take googly eyes seriously. 536 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,360 {\an2}Thank you. 537 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,320 {\an2}Right, then. Let's have another task right now. 538 00:27:55,360 --> 00:27:58,800 {\an2}Yes. And finally, it's off to work for the comedians. 539 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,320 {\an2}Oh, no. It's this way round. Is it this way round? 540 00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:18,480 {\an2}That was smooth, wasn't it? Yeah. Here we are at the steam factory. 541 00:28:18,520 --> 00:28:22,720 {\an2}Wow. It's very substantial. It is very substantial. 542 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,240 {\an2}Sorry. Coffee. 543 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,520 {\an2}Is it fine to have hot drinks in the steam factory? 544 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:28,720 {\an2}I'd...I'd have thought it's made for it. 545 00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,080 {\an2}ISY: I've always wanted to work in a steam factory. 546 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:35,200 {\an2}Now you do. Or do you? Or do I? 547 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,120 {\an2}Ooh. Are you doing the whole thing? 548 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:44,000 {\an2}SIGHS I'm tempted to. 549 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,640 {\an2}I'll have one more, and then I'm in. 550 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:55,120 {\an2}"Convince everyone you are wearing the official workplace earpiece." 551 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:59,640 {\an2}"Or, if you are wearing the official workplace earpiece, 552 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,640 {\an2}"convince everyone that you are not." 553 00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,120 {\an2}"If you are wearing the official workplace earpiece, 554 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,200 {\an2}"you must obey all five instructions." 555 00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,000 {\an2}"If the Taskmaster fails to identify the worker, 556 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,880 {\an2}"the worker gets five points." 557 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,800 {\an2}"If a fellow contestant mistakenly accuses someone else 558 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,880 {\an2}"of being the worker, that person gets five points." 559 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:20,960 {\an2}Oh, OK. "Nobody else gets any points. 560 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,400 {\an2}"You have five minutes." "Your time starts on the whistle." 561 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,480 {\an2}So, Richard. Mm. All five of you will be wearing earpieces. 562 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,920 {\an2}Only one of them is the official worker's earpiece. 563 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:32,240 {\an2}Yep. So you've got a minute 564 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,640 {\an2}to acclimatise yourself with the factory. 565 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:38,880 {\an2}Unit number four. OK. Are you ready to leave? 566 00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,920 {\an2}Yeah. It's time to go and put on your earpiece. 567 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:44,120 {\an2}That's my agent. 568 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,920 {\an2}I just heard a single gunshot. 569 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,000 {\an2}All right. I know. 570 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,040 {\an1}APPLAUSE 571 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,080 {\an1}LAUGHING 572 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,440 {\an2}OK. Mm-hm. I don't honestly know if I fully understand. 573 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,360 {\an2}So perhaps you'd like to explain it. I'll explain it. 574 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,120 {\an2}So all five of them were given earpieces, 575 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,960 {\an2}but only one was the official worker's earpiece. 576 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,200 {\an2}They're gonna be fed instructions, the worker, into the ear, 577 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:13,400 {\an2}and they have to obey the instructions. 578 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,880 {\an2}The others have to pretend to be fed instructions. 579 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:18,680 {\an2}Ah! They did all get the same first instruction 580 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,720 {\an2}and the same last one. 581 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:22,880 {\an2}If you fail to spot the worker... Right. 582 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,480 {\an2}..that person will get five points. 583 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,480 {\an2}If a fellow contestant mistakenly accuses someone else 584 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,120 {\an2}of being the worker, that person gets five points. 585 00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,800 {\an2}So watch this and try to work out who the worker is. 586 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,120 {\an2}I already think I know. 587 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,880 {\an2}You haven't seen it yet. Yeah. OK! 588 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,880 {\an2}Now, here are the first three workers. 589 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,080 {\an2}Richard, Nina and Matt. 590 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,120 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 591 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,800 {\an2}Hello, Richard. Hi. IN EARPIECE: Instruction number one. 592 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:54,800 {\an2}Uh, it hasn't rung yet, Richard. 593 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,120 {\an2}PHONE RINGS Hi. 594 00:30:58,160 --> 00:30:59,400 {\an1}PHONE RINGS 595 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,880 {\an2}Where's the phone? Oh. 596 00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,240 {\an2}ALEX THROUGH EARPIECE: 597 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,520 {\an2}I'm ready for work. Yep, I'm ready for work. 598 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:11,600 {\an2}I'm hugely excited to be here at work, 599 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,160 {\an2}and ready to do what I can to help. 600 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,840 {\an8}You work here, do you? Sorry. EARPIECE: Instruction number two. 601 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:22,240 {\an2}Yeah. I've got to sign in. Where's the signing in? 602 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,400 {\an2}Oh. Oh, OK. Oh, I suppose that goes in there. 603 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,480 {\an8}BELL RINGS Yep. Yep. 604 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:29,680 {\an2}Yeah. 605 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,320 {\an2}You know, it's just up to you, really. 606 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,480 {\an2}But the point is, is that, um... 607 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,520 {\an2}SIGHS ..you don't have to parent them. 608 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,560 {\an1}LAUGHTER 609 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,440 {\an2}What were you doing? I had to do it four times. OK. 610 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,480 {\an8}What are you doing? I've been asked to magnify... 611 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,560 {\an7}LAUGHTER 612 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,040 {\an8}..whatever I want. EARPIECE: Instruction number three. 613 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,280 {\an8}OK. So now I have to measure the bilge. 614 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:00,320 {\an2}Oh, it's here. 615 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,240 {\an2}I don't really need that. 616 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,800 {\an2}It's at zero. Zero bilge? Yeah. 617 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,840 {\an1}KNOCKING ON SURFACES 618 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,960 {\an2}Ah, there we go. That's moving along. Lovely. 619 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,080 {\an2}I had to tap on all the glass I could see. 620 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,560 {\an2}Oh. TAPS GLASS 621 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,080 {\an1}SIGHS EARPIECE: Instruction number four. 622 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,080 {\an1}LAUGHTER 623 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:23,920 {\an2}Mushrooms! 624 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,160 {\an2}Why did you say "mushrooms" after turning the handle? 625 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,280 {\an2}LAUGHING I was told to by the boss. 626 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:32,920 {\an2}Oh. OK. well, it's probably just turning this. 627 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:38,200 {\an2}EARPIECE: Instruction number five. Cheers to the Taskmaster. 628 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:42,320 {\an2}Rip up the envelope. All right. Fair enough. 629 00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,280 {\an1}HEAVY BREATHING 630 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:49,960 {\an2}I'm hiding. Right. 631 00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:55,320 {\an2}I might clock off now. Well, that was a good day's work. 632 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:56,600 {\an1}BELL RINGS 633 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,320 {\an2}EARPIECE: Now salute. Salute now. Right. 634 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,320 {\an2}EARPIECE: And leave the factory. OK. 635 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,160 {\an2}OK. Bye-bye. Yep. 636 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,720 {\an2}GREG: Hmm. Interesting. 637 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:07,760 {\an2}All right. OK. Mm. 638 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:10,800 {\an2}Don't give anything away. 639 00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,480 {\an2}Any early suspicions, Greg? I do have suspicions already. Yeah. 640 00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:16,880 {\an2}OK. Anyone want to say anything? 641 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,120 {\an2}I'm suspicious of Richard, 642 00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:23,000 {\an2}because I don't know that he would hop voluntarily. 643 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,200 {\an2}I think such whimsy has to be instructed and forced upon him. 644 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:32,080 {\an2}That is character-based and shrewd. 645 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,240 {\an2}I don't believe you've ever hopped before in your life. 646 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:39,440 {\an2}I would venture he would only hop if not asked. 647 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:44,760 {\an2}I think he's more likely to hop if he's told not to hop. 648 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,440 {\an2}You mean he's quite a contrarian. 649 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,560 {\an2}Is this round called What's Wrong With Richard? 650 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 651 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,640 {\an2}That's the end of part three. 652 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,000 {\an2}Who is going to take home a mouth, a mullet, 653 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,720 {\an2}two bums and some fruit playing tennis? 654 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:00,920 {\an2}Find out soon! 655 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,960 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 656 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,880 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 657 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:11,200 {\an2}Welcome. Welcome back. 658 00:34:11,240 --> 00:34:13,520 {\an2}It's the final part of the show, and we're trying to work out 659 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,760 {\an2}who is wearing the official workplace earpiece. 660 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:17,240 {\an2}Yes. It's so bloody tricky. 661 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,400 {\an2}And I know the answer! Waah! 662 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:23,520 {\an2}Who's left up? Well, give us a Cl-oh. 663 00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,720 {\an2}And Is-ee wearing the official earpiece? 664 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,360 {\an2}Yes, it's Chloe and Isy. That's fun, isn't it? 665 00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,600 {\an2}Here we go. Meh. 666 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,800 {\an1}PHONE RINGS ALEX ON EARPIECE: Instruction one. 667 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,240 {\an8}Hello? CHLOE AND ISY: I'm ready for work. 668 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,880 {\an2}Does that happen every day at the factory? Oh, yeah. 669 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,920 {\an2}Tough boss. It's OK. Yeah. 670 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:44,760 {\an2}What's the boss's name? Arnin. 671 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,400 {\an2}Hm? Arnin. Arnin? Yeah. 672 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:52,000 {\an2}Where's he from? He's from, um, Morecambe. 673 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,520 {\an2}EARPIECE: Instruction number two. 674 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,080 {\an8}Just have to check that that's closed. 675 00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:03,960 {\an8}EARPIECE: Instruction number two. I'm turning on booster number four. 676 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,480 {\an2}So tell me, what are you doing at the moment? 677 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:06,960 {\an2}So I'm just doing a bit of work. 678 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,480 {\an2}You don't mind if I do a bit of work, do you? 679 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,560 {\an2}On which machine? Um. Unit number four. 680 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,680 {\an2}EARPIECE: Instruction number three. 681 00:35:13,720 --> 00:35:17,400 {\an2}I'm just checking that unit number four is fully lubricated. 682 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:20,880 {\an2}EARPIECE: Instruction number three. 683 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:22,240 {\an2}Waah! What happened? 684 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:23,880 {\an2}Hot. 685 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:25,720 {\an2}What time's your lunch break? One moment, please. 686 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:28,240 {\an2}EARPIECE: Instruction number four. Yeah. OK. 687 00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,360 {\an2}OK. I'm now going to chant the company motto. 688 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:36,760 {\an2}Advance with steam Lest progress stall! 689 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:37,800 {\an2}Alex, do it with me. 690 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:41,760 {\an2}BOTH: Advance with steam Lest progress stall! 691 00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,400 {\an2}EARPIECE: Instruction number four. 692 00:35:44,440 --> 00:35:47,680 {\an2}# One, two, three Time to make steam! 693 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:48,960 {\an2}# If you don't... # 694 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,400 {\an2}Uh... LAUGHTER 695 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,720 {\an2}Sorry. Try again, Isy? 696 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:57,720 {\an2}# One, two, three Time to make steam! 697 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,440 {\an2}# If you don't... # Time to make steam if you don't? 698 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:04,160 {\an2}What's that? It's the... A motto. That's the motto? Yeah. 699 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:07,080 {\an2}Arnin makes us sing it every 20 minutes. 700 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:08,880 {\an1}HUFFING EARPIECE: Instruction number five. 701 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,640 {\an2}Ooh! EARPIECE: Instruction number five. 702 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:12,560 {\an1}PANTING 703 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,320 {\an2}That's looking shiny, that. 704 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,440 {\an2}# One, two, three Time to make steam! 705 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:19,080 {\an2}# If you don't... # 706 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,960 {\an2}EARPIECE: Now... 707 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,400 {\an2}Think that's pretty much me done for the day. 708 00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:28,480 {\an2}That wasn't part of it. Lovely to watch you work. 709 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,840 {\an2}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE OK. Interesting. 710 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:33,160 {\an2}Hmm. 711 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,680 {\an2}Did Isy not give herself away then, with her 712 00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:39,000 {\an2}"One, two, three Time to make steam"? 713 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,760 {\an2}What's the last thing? "If you don't..." "If you don't..." 714 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,120 {\an2}Yeah! Is that likely to come from head office? 715 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:45,560 {\an2}"If you don't"? Yeah, yeah. 716 00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,200 {\an2}Because then, if I don't, ooh... 717 00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:50,480 {\an2}you know, I won't get any porridge. 718 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,760 {\an2}Or, you know... # If you don't... # Oh, of course. 719 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,560 {\an2}Because the steam workers, that's their reward, isn't it? 720 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,560 {\an2}A lovely bowl of porridge. Yeah. Yeah. 721 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,440 {\an2}# If you don't Rats on your plate! # 722 00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:04,560 {\an2}That is... LAUGHTER 723 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,800 {\an2}OK. Isy's not the official worker. 724 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:09,920 {\an2}What do you think? Shall we vote? Yeah, I'm ready. 725 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:12,560 {\an2}OK. So I'm going to give you a piece of card each. 726 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,360 {\an2}If you could all write one name of who you think the worker is. 727 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,080 {\an2}CHLOE: Do you think you know, Greg? Yeah. 728 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,000 {\an2}So remember, if you're not the worker 729 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,480 {\an2}and you get accused of being the worker, you get five points. 730 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:23,520 {\an2}If you are the worker and he doesn't spot you, 731 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,000 {\an2}you also get five points. 732 00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:29,000 {\an2}Greg, I'm going to ask you, who is the official worker? 733 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:33,800 {\an2}Well, I think that the official worker is... 734 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,720 {\an1}DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING 735 00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,080 {\an2}..Nina Conti. OK. 736 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,240 {\an2}Chloe, who did you vote for? 737 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:43,680 {\an2}Nina Conti. 738 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:45,800 {\an2}Isy? 739 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,200 {\an2}Chloe Petts. 740 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:49,280 {\an2}CHLOE LAUGHS Matt.MATT:Well... 741 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:51,400 {\an1}LAUGHTER 742 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,080 {\an2}The reason I'm voting for this person is because... 743 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER 744 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,240 {\an2}You know, I just don't think they're really enjoying 745 00:37:58,280 --> 00:37:59,840 {\an2}their time on the show. 746 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:03,240 {\an2}And I just think they'd have a better time if they went home. 747 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,160 {\an2}Nina. Three. Three votes for Nina. 748 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,440 {\an2}Nina? I voted for... 749 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:12,240 {\an2}"Time to make steam If you don't..." 750 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER 751 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:16,240 {\an2}And finally, Richard. 752 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,920 {\an2}Nina. Nina. 753 00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:20,360 {\an2}A lot of people think Nina is the worker, 754 00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:21,800 {\an2}including the Taskmaster. 755 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,160 {\an2}It's time to find out who was wear... Can we... Ooh? 756 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,360 {\an2}Can we keep these pens? Yes, you can keep the pens. Yeah. 757 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,800 {\an1}LAUGHTER 758 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,280 {\an2}So it's time to find out 759 00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,560 {\an2}who was wearing the official worker's earpiece. 760 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:34,760 {\an2}Hello, Isy. Hello. 761 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:36,240 {\an2}Everyone's been talking about who they think 762 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,000 {\an2}is the official worker. Have they? 763 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:41,120 {\an2}Would you be able to reveal if you were the official worker or not? 764 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,600 {\an2}Yeah. I can reveal that... I... 765 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,160 {\an2}I know show business. I... 766 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,880 {\an2}..waaaas... 767 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:51,600 {\an2}..not the official worker. 768 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,080 {\an2}I was not an official worker. You were not? Hm. 769 00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:55,760 {\an2}AUDIENCE GASPS I did... 770 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,760 {\an2}..not have the official earpiece. 771 00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,280 {\an2}Shall I tell the truth? 772 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:03,800 {\an2}Yes, I was. You're the official worker? 773 00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:05,680 {\an2}ALEX ON EARPIECE: Check the number five booster pump... 774 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:07,240 {\an2}Turn on unit number four... 775 00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:08,600 {\an2}Don't mind if I do a bit of work, do you? 776 00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:10,440 {\an2}On which machine? Unit number four. 777 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,640 {\an2}Waah! EARPIECE: Pretend something is hot. 778 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:14,320 {\an2}# One, two, three 779 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,360 {\an2}# Time to make steam. # EARPIECE: Chant the motto of the factory. 780 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,080 {\an2}Ooh! EARPIECE: Stretch vigorously. 781 00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:20,640 {\an2}# One, two, three Time to make steam! 782 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:21,920 {\an2}# If you don't... # 783 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,480 {\an2}EARPIECE: Now salute and leave the factory. 784 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:26,040 {\an2}ALEX: What were you listening to? Uh... 785 00:39:26,080 --> 00:39:30,160 {\an2}I was listening to Joel Dommett, uh, screaming in my ear. 786 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,840 {\an2}What were you listening to? Rampant man losing his mind. 787 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,480 {\an2}A rampant man? Was it you? It wasn't me, no. 788 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,960 {\an2}It was someone deranged. 789 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,120 {\an2}EARPIECE, OVERLAPPING: Whoa! Oh my God! I'm... 790 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:46,360 {\an2}Craig David. You're the Masked Singer. Yep. How are you? OK. 791 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:50,680 {\an2}I'm never gonna watch The Masked Singer ever again. 792 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:53,200 {\an2}ALEX:Thank you, Matt. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 793 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,240 {\an2}GREG: Wow. 794 00:39:56,280 --> 00:39:59,000 {\an2}Hang on. So the official company slogan... 795 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,000 {\an2}"If you don't..." was given to you? 796 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,040 {\an2}No, no, I made that up. All she... 797 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,840 {\an2}Weirdly, she was just told to chant the official motto. 798 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:10,240 {\an2}And that's what she chose... Oh! ..which was confusing. 799 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,760 {\an2}That's why I ruled you out. Cos I thought, 800 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,480 {\an2}"Well, they're not going to get her to say, 'If you don't...' Silence." 801 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:16,960 {\an2}Why not? CHLOE LAUGHS 802 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,480 {\an2}Incredible. Incredible. So Arnin was real. 803 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:22,120 {\an2}Arnin... Well, again, no. 804 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,520 {\an1}LAUGHTER 805 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,320 {\an2}It was an enormous backstory invented by Isy, not me. 806 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:29,800 {\an2}And I based my guess purely on the fact, 807 00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,360 {\an2}just as we were about to watch the video, Nina went like this. 808 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:38,520 {\an2}I did a bit of acting! Nina is slightly unlucky, 809 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:40,840 {\an2}cos you only get five points, even though you fooled three people, 810 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:42,640 {\an2}but because you fooled anyone, you get five points. 811 00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,560 {\an2}Chloe also fooled someone, so they get five points. 812 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,200 {\an2}Isy gets five points because you did not spot the real worker. 813 00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:51,000 {\an2}The two men get nothing, which I'm so happy about. 814 00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,040 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 815 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,080 {\an2}Well done! Good strategy. ISY: Cheers! 816 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,720 {\an2}Can we look at the scores, please? 817 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,040 {\an2}Oh... # If you don't... # 818 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:01,520 {\an2}Ah. CHLOE LAUGHS 819 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,240 {\an2}I want my porridge! OK. 820 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,160 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 821 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:09,560 {\an2}It's, um...it's tight at the top, but there's only two of them. 822 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,640 {\an2}It's the team of two. 823 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,760 {\an2}Nina's on 18 and Isy's on 20 points! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 824 00:41:13,800 --> 00:41:18,160 {\an2}Maximum. Maximum points. Maximum points! 825 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:19,640 {\an2}All right, everybody. 826 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,040 {\an2}Make your way to the stage for the final task of the show. 827 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,080 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 828 00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,480 {\an2}Hello, Greg. Who's gonna read the task out? 829 00:41:33,520 --> 00:41:35,360 {\an2}Chloe Petts, please. 830 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,360 {\an2}"Draw the picture described by the Taskmaster 831 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,760 {\an2}"while making eye contact with the Taskmaster. 832 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,240 {\an2}"You can only look at your picture 833 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,000 {\an2}"while the Taskmaster is shouting 'Bayeux Tapestry'. 834 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,160 {\an2}"You have until the Taskmaster tells you to stop." 835 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,360 {\an2}Right. Worth having your pen out. 836 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,160 {\an2}Please start making eye contact with the Taskmaster. 837 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,800 {\an2}When he shouts "Bayeux Tapestry", you may open your lids. 838 00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:57,800 {\an2}Most accurate wins. 839 00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,200 {\an2}Here we go. Are you ready? Yeah. 840 00:42:00,240 --> 00:42:02,480 {\an2}There is a mighty chariot. 841 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:07,200 {\an2}Gold. Four wheels at the front. 842 00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:11,440 {\an2}One wheel to steer. 843 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,760 {\an2}And skis at the back. 844 00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:18,960 {\an2}Bayeaux... 845 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,520 {\an2}Tap... 846 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,240 {\an2}..estry! 847 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:28,000 {\an2}Stop! It is being dragged 848 00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,240 {\an2}by a mighty horse. 849 00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,560 {\an2}Oh, fuck. Not good. Also... 850 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:38,440 {\an2}..a pair of hippos. Oh, you are a piece of work. 851 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:42,720 {\an8}And the horse has only three legs. 852 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:46,080 {\an2}Bayeaux... 853 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,080 {\an2}RICHARD: Hang on. All the way open, please. Both horses. 854 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,800 {\an2}..Tapestry! 855 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:54,680 {\an2}Down. Shut your lids, please. Oh! 856 00:42:56,360 --> 00:43:01,920 {\an2}Don't worry. OK. It is riding one of the hippos. 857 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,640 {\an2}What? What? A mob chases the chariot. 858 00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:09,200 {\an2}Oh, you need to sort your head out. 859 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:12,240 {\an2}It's a summer's day. 860 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,080 {\an2}There is a rainbow. 861 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:22,120 {\an2}And you can also see the moon, because that happens sometimes. 862 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:26,400 {\an2}Bayeaux Tapestry! 863 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,880 {\an2}OK, shut it. Richard didn't even open it that time. 864 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,760 {\an2}Oh, and the chariot rider 865 00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,640 {\an2}is Sam Ryder, 866 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:41,440 {\an2}the beautiful, long haired singer from Eurovision 867 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:47,120 {\an2}who has just had all of his hair shaved off. 868 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,840 {\an2}Oh, you. You twat! 869 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:51,960 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 870 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,000 {\an2}Oh, down. Pens down. 871 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,600 {\an2}OK. Shall we look at the tapestry? It's a classic. Let's go. 872 00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:59,040 {\an8}Pop it in the, uh, frame. 873 00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,400 {\an8}Wow. A lot of detail.Really good. APPLAUSE 874 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,160 {\an2}A moon, a sun. No rainbow. 875 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,880 {\an2}Oh, I forgot about the rainbow. 876 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,720 {\an2}You got the two cats. Two giant hippo cats. 877 00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,360 {\an2}Clearly...clearly hippos. Lovely. 878 00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:18,200 {\an2}I'm gonna go to Isy. Oh, my God. 879 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,760 {\an2}I see two big potatoes next to the mob. 880 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,680 {\an2}They're hippos' heads. Ohh! 881 00:44:28,720 --> 00:44:31,720 {\an2}And the hippos are urinating on the horse? 882 00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:35,560 {\an2}Like in the Bayeux Tapestry. 883 00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:38,360 {\an2}OK. Hello, Matt. Hello. 884 00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:43,160 {\an2}Definitely a rainbow. Mm-hm. 885 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:44,600 {\an2}Then... Yeah. 886 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,120 {\an2}One hippo under the big mushroom. 887 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:50,040 {\an2}Uh, that's two hippos. 888 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:52,120 {\an2}They are, um, conjoined. 889 00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,880 {\an2}You seen enough, Greg? I've seen enough. 890 00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:57,520 {\an2}OK, Matt, back to your spot, please. 891 00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:02,240 {\an2}Hi, Nina. Hello. OK, I see a moon. I see the sun. 892 00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:05,080 {\an8}Where's the rainbow? This one. Oh. 893 00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,200 {\an2}Yes. 894 00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:09,920 {\an2}The beautiful two-coloured rainbow. 895 00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:11,640 {\an2}There's skis. 896 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,160 {\an2}And who is riding the skis? 897 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:15,600 {\an2}I didn't ask anyone to be riding the skis. 898 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:17,360 {\an2}No, it's being chased after. 899 00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,880 {\an2}Her legs are flying backwards cos she's coming so fast. 900 00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:22,240 {\an2}Oh, she is the mob. She's a one-woman mob. 901 00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:23,680 {\an2}I thought you said mum. 902 00:45:24,720 --> 00:45:26,640 {\an2}Chased by an angry mum. 903 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,120 {\an2}Yeah. OK, Nina, back to the spot. Thank you. 904 00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:30,160 {\an2}OK. Last one. 905 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:32,880 {\an2}OK. There's some gold on the carriage. 906 00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:34,880 {\an2}I'm happy with that. There's an angry mob. 907 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:39,080 {\an2}What's above the angry mob? I don't know that I ever looked down. 908 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,440 {\an8}I guess it's the sun. Yep. It is the sun. 909 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:46,920 {\an2}Uh, point out the hippos to me? And the horses. 910 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,320 {\an1}LAUGHTER 911 00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:52,040 {\an1}APPLAUSE 912 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,240 {\an2}OK, Greg. I enjoyed them all very much. 913 00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:00,680 {\an2}I'm gonna give Richard and Matt two points each. 914 00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:04,080 {\an2}Yes, cos they're the worst. Because they're the worst. 915 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,360 {\an2}Mm. Mm-hm. Purely because of the lack of colour, 916 00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,920 {\an2}I'm gonna give Nina three points. Right. 917 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:11,920 {\an2}Isy, four points. Chloe, five. There we go. 918 00:46:11,960 --> 00:46:14,360 {\an2}Five points to Chloe Petts! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 919 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,240 {\an2}Come on down. We'll add that to the final scores. 920 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:29,680 {\an2}Wow. Hasn't there been a lot of creativity this episode? 921 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:31,760 {\an2}There really has, hasn't there? 922 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:33,400 {\an2}So, in the series, 923 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,600 {\an2}Isy has now gone up to third place from rock bottom 924 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:39,120 {\an2}just behind Chloe, and then Nina is in the lead. 925 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:42,400 {\an2}But this episode, Isy Suttie wins with 24 points. 926 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:45,240 {\an2}CHLOE:Wow!GREG: Wow! CHEERING 927 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:46,800 {\an2}Isy Suttie wins! 928 00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:51,720 {\an2}Please, jog up to be jubilant with your juicy jumble! 929 00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:01,320 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media