1 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:03,840 Ahh! 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:05,880 Hoo-hoo! HE SLURPS 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,360 Oh, no! 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,720 Hi. 5 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,000 SHE GIGGLES 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,080 Whoo! Ra-ra-ra! 7 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,000 RADIO HISSES 8 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:24,200 Argh! 9 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,960 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 10 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:34,280 Hello, I'm Greg Davies. Welcome to Taskmaster, 11 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:38,600 a pantomime of the pointless, a circus of the ridiculous. 12 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,400 A ridicu-circus. 13 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,760 And in this arena of anarchy, this big top of terror, 14 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,520 I am your clinically obese ringmaster. 15 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:49,480 And these are your clowns. 16 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,560 It's Daisy May Cooper! 17 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,360 APPLAUSE Johnny Vegas! 18 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,840 Katherine Parkinson! 19 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,720 Mawaan Rizwan! 20 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,800 And Richard Herring! 21 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,240 CHEERING And to my left, 22 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,880 a man who looks like a cylinder of meat 23 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,600 that's been rolled across a hairdresser's floor - 24 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,880 it's the human woolly kebab - 25 00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,320 little Alex Horne! 26 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,480 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Thank you. Hello, everyone. 27 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:19,240 Hello, everyone. I'm making it my mid-series resolution to be nice to you. 28 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:21,840 Oh. Well, I could tell you a secret, then, if you want. 29 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,120 Yes, please. It's a side project I've been doing 30 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,160 for quite a number of years. HE SIGHS 31 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,200 You're not allowed to tell them. All right. 32 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:30,280 WHISPERING: I'm Banksy. 33 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,160 Cool. That is cool actually. 34 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,760 Do you believe me? Yeah. It's not the person I was expecting, 35 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:38,440 but why not? Yeah. Does it change your opinion of me? 36 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:40,800 Nope. It's one of your strongest openers. Yeah? 37 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,080 Well done. Let's crack on. Prize task, please. 38 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,600 Prize task. Thank you. This week, they've been asked to bring in 39 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,560 the best pointy thing. 40 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,840 Oh. Mm. It's pretty simple stuff. Have you got a pointy thing? Yes. 41 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,760 Is it the best pointy thing? Yes. Well done, here's five points. 42 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,360 And you might win it back at the end of the show if you carry on this winning streak. OK? 43 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,120 Right. Good. OK. 44 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,560 Johnny, h-what is your pointy thing? 45 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,040 My pointy thing is... 46 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,920 ..brilliant and saves lives. 47 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,880 Mm. Five points looking good. 48 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,960 A meat thermometer. 49 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,440 Here's the meat thermometer. 50 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,480 I may have gone early with the five points. 51 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,760 Oh, come on. I'd say you were around the two-point mark at the moment, 52 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,960 but try and talk it up. Because it-it-it... 53 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,560 For novice chefs, for everyone - 54 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,880 you've still got to feed your children, haven't you? 55 00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:30,920 And the last thing you want to do is...is...is... 56 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,760 ..give them raw meat. Does everyone have a meat thermometer? 57 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:36,000 I haven't. No, I haven't. But, then, as you can see, 58 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,920 I largely eat processed food. 59 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:43,520 I'd like one, I think, as a...an objet d'art. 60 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,120 Mawaan. Well, I've actually brought in a self-help book... 61 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,400 OK. ..because it makes some great... 62 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,680 ..points. Mmm. No. 63 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,760 Mm. Yes. It's called How To Get Your Point Across In 30 Seconds... 64 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:00,640 ..Or Less. All right. Well, talk me through... Make some points. 65 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,640 I'll use some of the skills I learnt... Yep. ..to get my point across. 66 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,280 The triangle technique. Yep. Er, you've got your content, 67 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,120 delivery,...er... 68 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,440 Form. HE EXHALES 69 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,400 I don't really know what it means, but it sounds good, you see. 70 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,760 You're all over the shop, mate. You're talking about a book 71 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,560 that's got the word "point". Look at the corners! 72 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,560 Pointy. Could hurt yourself on that. Last place, I think. 73 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,280 Who's next? Richard. Yes! 74 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,120 My pointy thing is a mask of that guy off of Hellraiser 75 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,240 with the pointy...with lots of points on his face. 76 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,640 Here he is. Look at the number of points on that! 77 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,640 He's Pinhead. Yeah. Disgusting old thing, innit? 78 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,480 It is. I wear that in bed with my wife. She likes it. 79 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,800 And do you keep saying, "Look at me" over and over again? 80 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:48,240 I think she likes it because it keeps my...face away from her face. 81 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:52,320 So there's... Fair play to you, Richard, it's not a bad pointy thing. It's a pointy thing. 82 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:55,080 It's very pointy. Lot of points on that. Right, Daisy. Yes. 83 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,840 Unbelievably leading in the series thus far, 84 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,880 despite, in this round, having a consistently shocking record. 85 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,080 This could be the one. 86 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,760 You could really cement your place at the top of the pile... 87 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,160 I really couldn't. ..with something imaginative and different. 88 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,280 Kebab stick. Oh, right... 89 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,880 It's a kebab stick. I tell you why, because it doubles up 90 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,920 as a javelin for a Sylvanian Family 91 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,440 and I don't know if you've ever tried to hold an Olympic event 92 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:26,280 with Sylvanian Families, but you cannot buy javelins for 'em. 93 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,120 Here it is, the javelin slash kebab stick. 94 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,400 Oh, God. 95 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,800 It's literally like you remembered there was a task 96 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,280 and it just fell into your drawer. 97 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,040 Well, it's a pointy thing. Erm, Katherine, 98 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:42,040 can you beat the laziest person in the room? 99 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,720 I don't have much confidence in this one, particularly after you've shown Richard's, 100 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,200 because mine is also a mask, but it's only got one point. 101 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,800 It's a Venetian mask. Is it? More attractive than Richard's. 102 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,000 It looks like this. 103 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,560 Ohh. Oh, yeah. Ooh. Oh, OK. 104 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,080 This one "protects the wearer's identity during promiscuous or decadent activity." 105 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,160 I...I look at that and I just see Tom Cruise 106 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,360 holding onto his marriage. Oh, my goodness. 107 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,320 I mean, it's a pointy mask. I like that, I think that's brilliant. 108 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,960 I had thought of doing satnav as a pointy thing, erm, 109 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,000 which I think might've been a better choice. 110 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,120 It wouldn't. No, OK. No, it wouldn't. 111 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,400 I like that. So you've got a book, two pointy masks... 112 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,880 Yep. ..and a couple of sticks over here. I'm putting Mawaan last. 113 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,400 Yeah, sorry. One point. 114 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,480 She put in a metal stick! That's pointy. There's no justice. 115 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,680 Two points - Sylvanian fall-into-a-drawer girl. 116 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,000 OK, in third place... Meat thermometer. 117 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:41,400 Meat-thermometer man. Three points. Yeah. Saves lives - good try. 118 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,440 So it's the battle of the masks. And it's a choice between the masks. Yes. 119 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:48,560 The honest truth is that I just instinctively like the image 120 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,680 of Richard Herring sitting in bed wearing that mask. 121 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,440 So I'm going to give Katherine four points... Fair enough. 122 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,200 ..and Richard five. Richard Herring wins the first task. 123 00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,440 I needed it. Tasky, tasky. 124 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,120 Yessy, yessy. Baggy, baggy. 125 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,480 CHIME 126 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:19,000 Hi, Daisy. Hello. 127 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,480 MAGPIE CAWS Hello! All right, Alex? 128 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,640 How are you? I'm a bit cold. Cold? Yeah. 129 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:29,680 Where's your big coat? Oh, I suppose I could wear a...a coat. 130 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:36,440 That's for Christmas trees. Yes. 131 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:40,040 "Bag the heaviest thing from the furthest distance." 132 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:42,800 "Your attempt ends when you have bagged an item." 133 00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,840 "Highest score wins." 134 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:49,320 "Your score is the weight of the bagged object in grams 135 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,680 "multiplied by the distance from the bagging machine 136 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,800 "in centimetres." 137 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,840 "You have 20 minutes." "Your time starts now." 138 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,840 Erm,...the bath won't go in! 139 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:06,480 Oh, God... Have you two considered doing a double act of some kind, 140 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:09,080 you and Katherine, because the banter between you... 141 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,920 You instinctively knew she was cold and she confirmed she was. 142 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,960 You suggested she could've worn a coat and she confirmed, yes, 143 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000 had she previously thought of it, she would've worn a coat! 144 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:21,640 Then we left... And I was like, "What the fuck?!" 145 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,800 I don't know what you're going to do next! 146 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,920 Wait and see. Hey, I like the idea of this task. 147 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,960 Your sort of thing, isn't it? It is my sort of thing 148 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,480 and I often go past those Christmas-tree things 149 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,880 and I think, "I wouldn't mind popping myself through one of those." 150 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,720 Well, this is long-distance bagging. Right, bag it up, baby. 151 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,720 Bag it up, baby. We're going to start with Mawaan,... Sure. 152 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,920 ..Daisy and, yes, sod it, why not? Also Richard. Lovely. 153 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,800 So what I'm going to do is fill this up with really heavy things 154 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:52,880 and then I'm going to stand on a...on, like, a ladder, I think, 155 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,720 and then get, like, a tube or something... 156 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,200 What's the heaviest thing I can weight it with? 157 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,720 So you're going to send it down a zipwire. Yes, basically. 158 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,320 What sort of a case is it, Richard? 159 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,640 It's a...trumpet... 160 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,880 I'm going to make a rice tunnel. A rice tunnel. Yeah. 161 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,880 Rice rocket. 162 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,280 Do you want me to cross out "rice tunnel"? Yeah, rice rocket. 163 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:23,160 Are you all right? Yep. 164 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,920 Won't shut unless it's in the actual shape of a horn. 165 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:37,840 How's the bag going over that sledge? 166 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,200 Yep, that's not going to work. 167 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,800 You've got nine minutes. 168 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,840 Come on. So slow. 169 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:55,400 You're throwing from there? I think I'll go from here. 170 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,720 We'll try it from here. OK, let's mark the front foot. 171 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,440 One, 172 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,800 two, waah! 173 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,960 SOUND SLOWS, HE ROARS 174 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,560 That was too far away. 175 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,120 What's in the bag, Daisy? 176 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,600 Bricks. 177 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,720 Oh, that's heavy, that. 178 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,720 What even is that? It's a boat winch. 179 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,720 A boat wench? Winch. 180 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,960 One, two,... 181 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,360 HE EXHALES WITH EXHAUSTION 182 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,600 What number were you trying to get to? 183 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,080 OK, ready. 184 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,440 Put down the measuring bowl. Good luck. 185 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,080 APPLAUSE 186 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:40,920 Good, innit? 187 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,480 There's like a little rope thing, yeah. 188 00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,280 Yeah... 189 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,120 I could do a run-up to it. 190 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,920 Waah! 191 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,200 That was almost the closest. 192 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,800 Do you want me to let go? Yep. 193 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,840 Fuck! 194 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,880 That's not going to work. 195 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,560 Bend your knees. It's really heavy. 196 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,760 Whoa! 197 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:11,400 I might just throw it in. Yeah? I think so. 198 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,120 CHEERING 199 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,120 Ready, steady,... 200 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,120 Yep. 201 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,000 Well, thank you, Mawaan. OK. Merry Christmas. 202 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,000 Are you going to weigh it now? Yes. 203 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,960 Ooh! That is heavy, right? Yeah. 204 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,840 Congratulations, Richard. Thank you. 205 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,120 Yeah. Lovely bagging. Lovely bagging. 206 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:39,120 Someone was excited to show off his big scissors, wasn't he? 207 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,160 They were so big! I know... 208 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,200 Mawaan, you came good with that old Christmas classic... 209 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,480 Yeah. ..the rice rocket. 210 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,920 And I don't know...I don't know 211 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,480 what part of your brain you accessed that idea from. 212 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,160 I was just thinking, like, aerodynamic,... Right. 213 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:59,400 ..but rice. It was very heavy. It was very, very heavy. 214 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,760 Daisy. I always think, if you want to throw something 215 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:04,960 the furthest distance 216 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,280 through an aperture that's directly in front of you, 217 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,920 it's all about trajectory. 218 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,200 I was thinking 219 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,520 that the distance I could do in height. 220 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:19,680 No? It's a complete collapse of common sense. 221 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,320 Richard, you went old school 222 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,440 with the classic horn case full of pebbles. 223 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,240 What I was noticing was that you were taking a run at it... Yeah. 224 00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:33,600 But I was running towards my mark. You know when people are throwing javelins, 225 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:36,920 they don't just go... They go, "Waaah!" 226 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,520 You're quite right, and I was going to come on to "Waah", 227 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:44,520 which, on the pebbles-in-a-horn-case circuit, 228 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:46,880 you're known for the "Waah". Let's have some statistics. 229 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:50,080 There's going to be some big scores because it's centimetres times grams. 230 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,000 Mawaan - three metres away, 3.05 metres away. 231 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:56,720 That's good, innit? Feels good. It weighed 8.6 kilograms, 232 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,600 so the score is 2.623 million. 233 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,240 Wow! The population of Birmingham. 234 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,360 I get 2.6 million points? Yep. 235 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,800 No, that's your score. They don't translate to points. 236 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,240 2.6 million... That's his score. Centimetres times grams. 237 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:16,200 Richard, er, from 2.7 metres, 15 and a half kilograms. 238 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:19,760 You get a score of 4.1 million, the population of Rome. OK. 239 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,920 Daisy - 18.2 kilograms, but it didn't make up from the distance, 240 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,200 she was very close. Very, very close. 241 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,920 I mean, the only thing of merit in the whole task yet again 242 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,120 was her use of the word "Fuck". 243 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,040 Er, Daisy, the population of Bucharest - just 1.8 million. 244 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,080 You're in last place at the moment, you were very close to the machine. 245 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,720 It's the end of part one. You've just got time 246 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,160 to reflect on the bad decisions you've made in life 247 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,600 before we come back to distract you. Off you pop. 248 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,640 APPLAUSE 249 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,000 Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster where our cast were using 250 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:58,200 a Christmas-tree bagging machine way out of season. 251 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:02,480 Yes, so it was nice and affordable. It's Katherine and Johnny now. 252 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,760 Is it mad to suggest myself? 253 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:07,960 Biggest thing. Biggest thing, biggest thing. 254 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,600 ITEM CRASHES Oh, sugar and spice. 255 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,080 What have you got there, Johnny? Well, I've got a table. 256 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,440 Ow! 257 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:18,400 I will probably be...be heavier than the...cow. 258 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,920 You think you're heavier than that cow? 259 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,000 The cow's hollow and I'm not. 260 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:26,280 Can I go out the gate? Why do you want to go out the gate? 261 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,080 Because I was thinking of hitting someone over the head 262 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,400 and putting them in there. 263 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,440 Practically, I think I'd be easier to bag. 264 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,440 Yeah, I think there's a few problems with the cow. 265 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,800 SHOUTING: How much time, Alex? 266 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,320 11 minutes! 267 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,360 Please, please, please, come here. 268 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,320 Could you do me a massive favour? I've got to win a task. 269 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,840 Would you let me wrap you like a Christmas tree? Please! 270 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:53,560 I've got to be at work at 12. No, you'll be there by 12. It'll take one minute. 271 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,840 Maybe lift up the blanket because I'll be lying on that. 272 00:13:57,880 --> 00:14:01,000 Right, so if you just climb in and I'll attach things to you. 273 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,680 I'm in. If anyone asks, you're a robot. 274 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,080 Ready? Yeah. 275 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,000 OK? Sure. 276 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,200 Are you ready? Yeah, right. The launch begins. 277 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,080 God. Oh, it's quite nice. 278 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,480 All right? Mm. Can you avoid that bit? Yeah, I'll watch that bump. 279 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,120 IT CLUNKS 280 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:25,600 I'm going to find something else that I can attach to your shoelaces. OK. 281 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,320 I seem to remember you telling me that you played the banjo! 282 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,280 You say when to... I haven't got a plan. 283 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:37,160 I'm going to just see when we get there. Well, we're nearly there. 284 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,680 Right. 285 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,200 You might be late for work! 286 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,480 Just think this through. Right. 287 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,320 No, I... Shall I put you down? Yeah. 288 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,120 You're definitely OK with microwaves? Sure. 289 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,960 You're not fully through yet. 290 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,400 SHE CHUCKLES 291 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:07,520 40 seconds left, Johnny. Right. Ready? Yep. 292 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,240 Go! 293 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,640 And...I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming! 294 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,320 Right. 295 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,800 And just rela...Hang on. 296 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:23,280 You may want to wiggle yourself. SHE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY 297 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,360 I can't! 298 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:28,760 I just suddenly had a moment of wondering what I was doing. 299 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,680 HE BLOWS WHISTLE We done? 300 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,560 OK, I'll just sort of flip out, yeah? OK. 301 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,520 SHE GRUNTS 302 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,440 SHE LAUGHS Little bit more. 303 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,120 OK, I'll measure that distance and can I get a weight? 304 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,920 I am...22 stone. 305 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,560 22. Thereabouts, yeah. 306 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,520 Same as Greg. And four pounds. 307 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,280 Thank you very much, Katherine. Thank you. 308 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,760 APPLAUSE 309 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,720 Wow. OK. 310 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,720 Erm, confounded our expectations 311 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,800 that Katherine and I are exactly the same weight. 312 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,560 I wasn't... She's definitely shorter than you. 313 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,400 I genuinely am 22 stone. She must be very dense. 314 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:17,280 Very dense. Heavy boned. She started 33 metres away from the machine. 315 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,440 Was it all one movement, do you think, Greg? 316 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,680 Did she touch the floor? 317 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:25,320 Did not touch the floor between the launch and the mounting and the... 318 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,560 ..penetration. Oh, for God's sake. 319 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,920 I mean, it's going to be massive, this score, isn't it? 320 00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,840 Well, if we're including 33 metres and 22 stones,... 321 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:37,280 Which we are. ..then it's the population of Tokyo and Bangkok combined - 322 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,840 it's Toky-kok. It's 47 million. 323 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,680 It's a big one. Well done. APPLAUSE 324 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,280 Erm, Johnny, there was a bit when you'd convinced that man to... 325 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,480 Matthew. You'd convinced Matthew to come in. And the worst of it is 326 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:52,320 that when he got to work and explained why he was late, 327 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:55,120 he would definitely have been signed off sick. 328 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,160 "Johnny Vegas put me through a Christmas-tree machine." 329 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,080 "He's been under a lot of pressure, this...this poor guy." 330 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,200 Getting me in didn't take that long, but getting him out took a while. 331 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:09,520 This score's going to be... So he started the bagging process from the gate? 332 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:12,120 Yeah. Yeah... That's the distance where the object came from. 333 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,640 He brought the object from the gate. I don't think you can count, 334 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,880 like, the distance it travels before you start throwing it. 335 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,280 So where are you saying that Matthew was thrown from? 336 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:24,040 I'm saying he was thrown from the...zero metres. 337 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,960 I mean, he's got a good point. 338 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,760 I think we'll take it, erm, from ten centimetres away, 339 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,240 but we'll count all of the objects that went through with him. 340 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:34,200 In which case, he gets a score of one million and comes last. 341 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,200 OK. What?! Because it was only ten centimetres. 342 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:40,120 Why were you so easily swayed by the "Uh, uh, he didn't..." 343 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,400 - It's me or Vegas. - Well, OK, and what would've happened to him 344 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,480 if I'd've thrown him? 345 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,040 That's why you couldn't... Because otherwise, you could say, 346 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,080 "I'll go and get a 5,000-ton weight 347 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,960 "and get some people to carry me, put it in a wheelbarrow..." 348 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,560 No, I'm standing by it. It's fair. I'm officially sulking. OK. 349 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,520 How long will that last for? Pff... 350 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,880 Nah, seconds. THEY LAUGH 351 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,560 Shut up! 352 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,160 Come on, let's have some scores. Well, the scores are, then - 353 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,160 Johnny gets one point, Daisy gets two points, Mawaan three, 354 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,200 Richard four, but Katherine, with her 47 million, 355 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,520 gets five points. I'm so pleased! Yes, please. 356 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,280 Right, quick scoreboard. Do you want to hear the series scores so far? 357 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,760 Yes. Well, Mawaan has crept into last place with 55. 358 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,480 Oh, Mawaan. Katherine no longer last with 56. 359 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,520 Johnny 63, Richard 68, Daisy still in the lead with 71. 360 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,920 APPLAUSE AND WHOOPING Somehow. 361 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,400 And today the scoreboard is very satisfying for me. 362 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,800 We've got three people on four points and two on nine. 363 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,520 It's Katherine and Richard in the lead with nine points. 364 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:44,160 Another one! OK, another task. Here we go. 365 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,400 Ohh, hio. Oh, hi, Alex. 366 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,880 Hey, Alex. Welcome to the garage. 367 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,760 Gorgeous. 368 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,880 No doubt what lies in this envelope will put me off 369 00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,120 porcelain for life. 370 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:13,120 "Paint a picture of a howling wolf on this teapot." 371 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:17,400 "You may not touch the teapot or remove it from the turntable 372 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,320 "and you may not tamper with the turntable or its power." 373 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,000 "The turntable will..." SHE GIGGLES 374 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,280 Oh. You mispronounced a word there. 375 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,520 "The turntable will keep speeding up 376 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,880 "until you have named 20 American states." 377 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,080 Oh, you're joking. 378 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,240 It's not a strength. 379 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,960 "If you do name 20 American states, this turntable will slow down." 380 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,880 "You have ten minutes." 381 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,320 I'm not reading it because...I know what happens when I read it! 382 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:49,520 You have to read it, that's the one rule. "Your time starts now." 383 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,920 TURNTABLE HUMS Erm... 384 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,200 Lovely. Hm. We all get it. Let's start. 385 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,160 Let's just start with Richard and Mawaan. 386 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,720 "Your time starts now." Arkansas, 387 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,000 er... Is that how you pronounce it? 388 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,720 California. I don't know. Arkan-saw? HE SIGHS 389 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,000 Erm, Alaska. 390 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,200 Erm... 391 00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:11,360 Oh, shit, man, I'm so bad at multitasking. 392 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,000 Vermont, is that one? Er... Yes, I'll give you Vermont. 393 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,840 Er, South something. 394 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,400 Massas-chusetts. Say that one one more time. 395 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:19,960 Massachusetts. 396 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,960 New York. I used to be able to do all of these in alphabetical order. 397 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,840 Er, Hellinois, Dellinois... Illinois! 398 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,040 South Dakota, North Dakota. Yes. 399 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,480 I know more than I thought. How many did you think you knew? 400 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,080 New York, LA. That's two, write that down. 401 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:36,960 Florida. Ooh, yep. Er, New Mexico. New Hampshire. 402 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,880 You haven't named the main one yet. What's the main one? 403 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,960 Detroit? 404 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,200 No, I can't give you that. Wh... Er, Detroit is one. 405 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,840 Cor, it's harder than you think. A...Alaska, Hawaii. 406 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,680 Chicago. Erm, West Philadelphia, born and raised. 407 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,040 Philadelphia? 408 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,040 Er... Is that a new jersey? No, it's the same as usual. 409 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,560 New Jersey. OK. 410 00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:02,120 I got a new jersey. You're distracting me and I can see through it. OK. Sorry, sorry. 411 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,640 Oh, Illinois. Er... 412 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,560 Indiana, Arizona. Oh, Washington's up there. 413 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,640 Hawaii. Texas. 414 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,720 Why have you crossed it out? 415 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:15,880 Er, Oklahoma City, Dallas. Salt Lake City's in Utah. 416 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:17,280 Erm... 417 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,360 Where's Disneyland? Paris. 418 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:20,400 Ha! 419 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,240 One left. Still haven't said the main one. Maine! 420 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,120 South Carolina. 421 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,840 That too you three minutes. Not bad. OK. 422 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,960 It will gradually slow down now. What does a wolf look like? 423 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,080 Look at that, see, that looks like a wolf, doesn't it? 424 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,440 On the other side, I was going to draw Wolf from Gladiators. 425 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,000 I'm happy with that. Stopping there? Yep. Don't blame you. 426 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:47,600 I'm done. Less is more, innit? 427 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,240 HE BLOWS WHISTLE 428 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,920 APPLAUSE Very good. 429 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,040 Did you put Wolf on? Yeah, I did Wolf on the other side. 430 00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,640 Lovely dated reference, er, there. 431 00:21:56,680 --> 00:22:00,000 Do you know who Wolf from Gladiators is? No. 432 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,400 I'm not...I'm not at all... Of course you don't. 433 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:04,680 He's a pensioner. 434 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,920 Mawa...Mawaan... 435 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,480 Some far more up-to-date references from you. 436 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:14,240 The old Fresh Prince. RICHARD BURSTS OUT LAUGHING 437 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,960 That's what the kids are all into now, innit?! 438 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,040 You want to see someone else painting? 439 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:21,680 Yeah. We're now going to look at Daisy and Johnny 440 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,800 and Katherine painting. Let's do it. 441 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:27,240 Right, I'm just going to paint it because I won't be able to name 20 American states, 442 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,560 I'm pretty sure. You don't want to name the main state? Erm... 443 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,960 Which is obviously,... 444 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,480 ..erm, Florida. 445 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,800 OK. 446 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:38,680 Arkansas. 447 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,360 Erm, er, California. California. Good. 448 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:42,680 Texas. Texas. 449 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,920 Oh, what's the really cold one? 450 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,960 My wife knows. Could you ring her? Yeah, I'll ask 'er. 451 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,560 Erm... 452 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,960 Er,...Wisconsin. 453 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000 Venezuela! 454 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,880 I can't give you Venezuela, Johnny. OK. 455 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,240 Erm, Washington. 456 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,480 New York. Correct. 457 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,040 OK. New York. 458 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:05,400 I like your jumper. Is it a jumper? A jacket? 459 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,960 It's a velvet jacket. 460 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,160 I got a new jersey for Christmas. 461 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,520 Oh. 462 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,760 Jersey. 463 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,520 What sort of Jersey? 464 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,160 I want to say "Royal"! 465 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,000 Not Royal Jersey, no. Jer...Jer...Jersey... 466 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:21,640 New Jersey! Correct. 467 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,800 It just looks like that cat that shits in me yard every night. 468 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,600 Mississippi. 469 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:29,480 Mississippi! Correct. 470 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,920 Er, Kentucky. OK. 471 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,080 Alabama. Boston. 472 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:35,320 No. 473 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:38,360 I'd a whole, er, pizza for lunch. 474 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,520 The whole thing? Mm-hm. 475 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,040 Ohio. 476 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,520 Ohio. Oh! That's a state, isn't it? Lovely. 477 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:49,760 Oh! See, I actually think it's better because it's moving. 478 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,280 Where's Yellowstone Park? 479 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,600 Nevada! 480 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,800 Montana. Virginia. 481 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:58,720 Woh...Er... Woh... SHE GIGGLES 482 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,520 Oh, God, I've added another ear in a moment of panic. 483 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:03,120 Ahhh... 484 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,560 Kansas! Yes. 485 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,880 Ha-haa! 486 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,920 And I think I'm finished. 487 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,920 Quick, quick, quick... HE BLOWS WHISTLE Ohh. 488 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,960 I think about five minutes ago, it was better, 489 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,400 but that's fine. WHISTLE 490 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,120 It's probably some of the best work I've ever done. 491 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,320 You see, Katherine's so locked into the banter 492 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,440 that you crazy cats have together now, 493 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,240 even when you're dropping a hint, she'll just run with it 494 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,880 and say, "Yes, it's a velvet jacket." 495 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,960 Johnny and Daisy, it's the most poised I've seen both of you. 496 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,000 Yeah. And Daisy was very close, got to 18... 497 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,280 Ooh! That's very good. 498 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,680 So you've got to judge them. We'll put them all up as one. 499 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,520 This is Daisy's wolf. 500 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,000 Ha! Can you see, it's howling at the moon. Yeah, that's not bad. 501 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,640 And it's a dark night so we know it's the moon. 502 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,640 I did some decoration on the top, but that might be a nosebleed 503 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:53,960 that...that the wolf's got. 504 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,480 Er, Johnny's. The wolf on the right and, er, he said, 505 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,520 on the left, "It's a squirrel who scratched his own eyes out." 506 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,720 Right. I think, on the right, it looks like a grizzly bear. 507 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:07,160 I think it's a good grizzly bear. I remember more detail with the eyes 508 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,200 and the bloodied mouth. 509 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,440 For an artist, it's certainly disappointing. 510 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,760 Shall we have a look at Katherine's? Yes, please. 511 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:18,000 Right. See the word "howl". That, to me, looks like what depression looks like. 512 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:23,000 Oh, the old howling wolf. Yeah. A howl and a dark, dark cloud. 513 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,400 Well, that's a shame. Next. 514 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:29,320 Mawaan. Oh, Jesus. That's lovely. Who's is this? Mine? Wow. 515 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:33,600 Looks like the thing from Stranger Things. I mean, it looks like a creature at least. 516 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:37,320 And then finally we see a wolf and THE Wolf on Richard's one. 517 00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,040 THEY ALL LAUGH 518 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:41,600 Definitely Wolf from Gladiators. Not bad, is it? 519 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,360 And he's howling. 520 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,800 Waahh! 521 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,640 Oh, man. In last place, it's the dark cloud of depression. 522 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,160 It's Katherine. Katherine gets one point. 523 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,440 That's right. Two points - 524 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:58,360 Mawaan. Mawaan gets two for the...large blob. 525 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:02,400 The trained artist and drawer of bears. Johnny gets three points. 526 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,200 Three points to Johnny. Third place. Daisy or Richard for five points? 527 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,600 I'm going to give them both five points. For the first time! 528 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,600 Five points to Daisy and Richard. They don't deserve it. They don't... 529 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:16,080 OK, it's time for Alex to salute the end of part two 530 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,680 whilst doing a sexy hula dance! 531 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:21,160 TRUMPET PLAYS CHEEKY TUNE 532 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,800 Is this sexy enough? Yeah. 533 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,160 There we go. 534 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,320 APPLAUSE 535 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:38,520 Hello again. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 536 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,560 Time for a new task, I should say. 537 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,560 Yes, I should say too 538 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,520 and this one is a homework task. 539 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,720 Hello. Johnny. 540 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,640 Alex. Alex Horne. 541 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,480 The task is in your pigeonhole. OK. 542 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,920 Do you know where your pigeonhole is? No, no-one's told me. 543 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,960 Oh, this thing that says "Mawaan" on it? Yeah. 544 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:10,440 Ooh. 545 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:15,240 "Do something out of character with this £20." 546 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,000 I'm deciding... 547 00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,680 "Most out-of-character thing wins." 548 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,320 I won't tell you what's just come to my mind. 549 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:34,360 "You have three months. Your time starts now." 550 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:35,600 Three months? 551 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,640 But what would be in character for you, Daisy? 552 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,520 Er,...vaping. 553 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,440 Or... 554 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,280 ..ghost hunting. 555 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,520 I thought of drugs. WHISPERING: Drugs. 556 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,520 But I'm not going to do that. What sort of drugs? Well, I don't know. 557 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:51,680 Poopers. What are they called? 558 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,280 Ploppers. What are they called?! 559 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:57,480 Poopers. Poppers. Are you talking about... 560 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,920 Are you talking about the drugs or the people that provide the drugs? I don't know! 561 00:28:05,360 --> 00:28:07,560 Ahh... Right. So it's most out-of-character thing. 562 00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,600 They had £20... It's difficult for me. 563 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,080 I'm going to have to judge it on how well I know them from this experience. Yes, you are. 564 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,720 Do you want to see what Johnny sent us? Yes, please. 565 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,600 This is how he spent his £20. 566 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,000 I mean, I've been meaning to shave... 567 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:22,840 OK. Brace support. 568 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,920 Arghh! It's all right. 569 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,120 Nice and tight. Fff... 570 00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:30,480 I can see... Aiii! Aiingg! 571 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:31,880 Zz... Oww! 572 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,080 Wow. Yeah. 573 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:36,840 Was that it? That's all you got? You got a "T" on your chest? 574 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,600 Not just a "T". No... A "TM", as you can see here. 575 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:43,320 I got Taskmaster. Yep. And what about the armpits? 576 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,360 Yeah, the armpits was completely unnecessary. 577 00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,800 Here's the thing though. If someone said to me, 578 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,000 "You know Johnny Vegas? He's, erm, 579 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,040 "he's had his armpit hair taken off 580 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,640 "and, er, "TM" waxed into his chest", 581 00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:57,800 this'd be my face. 582 00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,720 Really? Yeah. 583 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,680 No, but visiting a beautician or anything like that. 584 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,600 Good point. You're back in the game. OK, Katherine now. Who's next? 585 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,480 Katherine now. Katherine. Interesting. 586 00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:09,520 So she took her £20 somewhere 587 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,440 and then took this photo outside a bank. 588 00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:14,800 I don't know why I'm doing that position. And then, 589 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:19,280 after she went into the bank, she looked like this. 590 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:22,320 She deposited the £20 in the bank. 591 00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:27,600 I mean, that is exactly what I would think you would do with £20. 592 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:33,120 Don't know me very well. I clearly don't! 593 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,040 Because I imagine you are frugal and you do look after the pennies. 594 00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:38,840 I don't know how I have given that impression. 595 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,840 Can I confirm you did definitely deposit that money in the bank? 596 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,400 The truth is I didn't put that £20 in the bank, 597 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,880 I spent it, which I think confirms... 598 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,640 The out-of-character thing was lying about putting it in the bank. 599 00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:53,000 Oh, that's quite good. Ahh! 600 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,640 I'll...I'll mull on that. OK, you mull on that. Yep. 601 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:57,440 Daisy May Cooper... 602 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,960 Hello. ..invested her £20 similarly on a subscription. 603 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,840 It was Portable Restroom Operator. 604 00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,560 And I tell you why this is most out of character, 605 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,560 because I actually thought about this one... 606 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:12,760 Yeah, normally you get out of bed and fall into your kitchen, 607 00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,200 whatever your hand lands on, right? Yeah. 608 00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,400 Is that out of character? What, for her to buy a magazine... 609 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,720 I think that's quite impressive. I can see you hanging out 610 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,200 by the Portaloo quite a lot at a festival. 611 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,000 Absolutely not! 612 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:30,240 The big leap... I can never be bothered to queue for the fucking Portaloo. 613 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:33,440 I just piss where I stand! Just shit yourse... 614 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:36,560 So that's completely out of character. 615 00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,400 I know that PRO magazine have a policy of their cover model 616 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,760 is always just about to have a shit. 617 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:46,840 When you open the cover, is there another picture of him afterwards, going... 618 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,440 Very good. Who's next? Richard. Yep. 619 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:55,680 Who paid a visit to a special person, didn't you, Richard? I did, yeah. 620 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,760 OK. Let's have a look. 621 00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:02,320 So you're a man who likes to be in control, Richard,... Yeah. 622 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:05,160 ..and you see yourself as very logical. 623 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,600 Can you see how I'm going to do in the competition? 624 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:10,760 Can you work that out? SHE CHUCKLES Let me see. 625 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,080 Well, you're going to be happy with the result. 626 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,160 OK. I'm not sure you're going to win, 627 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,240 but if you don't, it's going to be close. 628 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,640 Well, I usually come second, that's what usually happens when I'm on these things. 629 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,280 So that sounds like it's going to be business as usual. 630 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,600 I hope that's been interesting. Yes, very interesting, thank you. 631 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:29,680 It was really lovely to meet you. And you, Jenny, thank you very much. 632 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:31,880 Great. Good luck, darling. BEEPING 633 00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:35,720 You seemed to quite enjoy it though. 634 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,760 It's out of character, it doesn't matter. 635 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,880 You can try something out of character and discover 636 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,560 that you've entered a new beautiful world of mysticism and tarot. 637 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:47,320 And why is it out of character? Because I don't believe in any of that bullshit. 638 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,680 And I wouldn't never make anyone... 639 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,120 All right. Finally, Mawaan Rizwan - what did you do, Mawaan? 640 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,360 Well, it's a qualification 641 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,680 in how to deal with aggressive people at work. 642 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,720 This is the gift voucher he got. It's from the New Skills Academy. 643 00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:07,560 "Pick any ten Lightning Skill Lessons from the list below for only £20." 644 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,600 "Save £470." 645 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:12,040 That is a big discount. 646 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,120 Completely true. Really? Yeah. Well, let's try. 647 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,560 Do you want me to be aggressive? Yeah, yeah, sure. 648 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,720 I hate your trainers. OK... 649 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:21,760 Ohh... Erm, 650 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,440 OK. Well, I'd just like to say, erm, 651 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,200 no, Greg. Er... Yes though. 652 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,560 "I am a valuable member of this team." 653 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:33,840 "I am assertive, I am creative, I am powerful, I am beautiful, 654 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,760 "I'm a sexy badass bitch." I added that last bit myself. 655 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:38,560 Erm... 656 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,600 And I think the others would agree 657 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,960 that, erm, we will not...stand for this. 658 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,080 That's £2 worth of course, that one. 659 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,440 I do feel a bit less aggressive. All right. 660 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,880 Do you want to score it? Right. I'm going to give Katherine 661 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,240 a generous...three points 662 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:56,840 because I thoroughly enjoyed, erm, the fact 663 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,320 that's she's, er, obviously spent a few raves 664 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,320 off her nut on the old poopers. 665 00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:04,760 Three points to Katherine. Yeah. In joint second place, 666 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,520 both getting four points, I'm going to put... 667 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,840 ..Johnny and... 668 00:33:10,880 --> 00:33:12,720 ..old Richard the psychic. 669 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,200 OK, waxing and tarot both get four points. That's right. 670 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:18,760 And in the number-one slot, it's the poo-obsessed Daisy 671 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,080 and the bad-boy-turned-good Mawaan. 672 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,480 The winners are Mawaan and Daisy! 673 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:27,480 Another task, please. Just like a girl I went to school with, 674 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:29,360 this one's melon-y. 675 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:46,280 Oh, why does this fill me with dread? HE CHUCKLES 676 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:50,040 Hello, team. Hey, Alex. Hi. Hi, Alex. 677 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,200 Does everyone like what they see? I'm liking it. 678 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,440 Who's going to read this one? Shall I do it? Yeah. 679 00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,320 That was beautifully done, by the way. 680 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,760 Oh, God! 681 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,960 "Eat the most watermelon." 682 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,960 "The watermelon must not leave the lab." 683 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,280 "You must be wearing a boiler suit and goggles when you're eating the watermelon." 684 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,720 "You must stay on your platform at all times." 685 00:34:14,760 --> 00:34:17,920 "You must not feed yourself." 686 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:21,920 "You must only eat the watermelon that is on your platform." 687 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:26,000 "You must not feed yourself. You have four minutes." 688 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:29,200 "Your time starts now." Shall we get dressed? Oh... 689 00:34:29,240 --> 00:34:32,080 How long have we got? Four minutes. Oh, God, that's going to be this. 690 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,040 I've got massive boots on! 691 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,080 Mm. Mmm. Pretty straightforward - 692 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,360 they've got to feed each other loads of watermelon. Yes. 693 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,240 One team was filmed before social distancing and one the other. 694 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,840 First of all, we're going to see Dickie and Daisy. The double Ds! 695 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,120 Oh, lovely crack. Right, that's pretty good. 696 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,640 There's a big bit there. I tell you what we could do. 697 00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:00,400 I hold that to you... Yeah. ..and you hold that to me... 698 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,560 Mm... 699 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:14,280 Keep it down. Try not to spit on the, erm, one I'm eating. 700 00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:15,480 HE LAUGHS 701 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,640 Let's try... SHE PANTS 702 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,200 The moaning! 703 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:30,080 SHE SCOFFS It's like the walking dead! 704 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,400 SHE GRUNTS AND SCOFFS 705 00:35:34,240 --> 00:35:37,200 HE SNARLS 706 00:35:37,240 --> 00:35:39,720 SHE SIGHS AND PANTS 707 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,760 Whuughh... Arrr! 708 00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,400 There's a nice bit there that I can put on a plate for you. 709 00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,880 SHE GROANS AND PANTS How long have we got left? 710 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,120 You've got 50 seconds. Oh, 50 seconds... 711 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,560 SCOFFING 712 00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,600 SHE SNARLS 713 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,040 SHE SPLUTTERS THEY LAUGH 714 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,360 Sorry! I didn't get any on your bit! 715 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:24,920 SHE SCOFFS I think that might just be the easiest way to do it. 716 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:33,240 We've got ten seconds... SHE RETCHES 717 00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,480 THEY LAUGH 718 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,720 I don't want to eat any more... WHISTLE 719 00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:45,360 APPLAUSE Yep. 720 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,480 Strong. Very strong. 721 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:51,080 I mean, it's one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life. 722 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,040 My God... 723 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:54,720 HE SNARLS 724 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,360 It was like Daisy was consuming Richard. 725 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:04,000 Daisy did most of the consuming, there's no doubt about that. 726 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,320 He didn't really eat anything. 727 00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,360 He was just kind of watching me, 728 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,080 which makes me think you were turned on by it. 729 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:16,600 I mean, they got the job done. The watermelon originally weighed 8.6 kilograms. Right. 730 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:20,160 There was only 7.6 left in the room and some of that had been downed, 731 00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,760 so they ate at least one kilogram, 732 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,600 which is a whole pineapple or a toaster in four minutes. 733 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,080 Listen, you can stay and watch the last part of this show 734 00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:31,040 after these adverts, but then I want you to brush your teeth 735 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,400 and go straight to bed, OK? And no, 736 00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,960 it isn't a good idea to have a bowl of cereal this late! 737 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:41,520 APPLAUSE 738 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,720 Hello! It's the last part of the show 739 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,760 and we're right in the thick of a watermelon task. 740 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,000 Daisy and Richard got intimate. Now, complete with lengthy grabbers, 741 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,880 it's the dynamic trio. 742 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,040 Right, so we've got to feed each other. 743 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,200 Who's feeding who? If you feed me... 744 00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:00,200 If I feed Mawaan his... You pick up a piece of mine, 745 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:03,240 we all put it to our mouths at the same time. OK. 746 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,640 Picking. Getting a slice. Getting a slice. 747 00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,160 Oh, it's heavy, you know. Approaching your mouth, Johnny. 748 00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:12,280 Approaching your mouth. Are you ready? Ahh! 749 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:13,840 Mmm... Mmm... 750 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,600 Good. Good job. Come on, Katherine, I'm hungry. 751 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:21,000 Sorry. I'm going to be shitting pips for a week. 752 00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,120 Ooh, my gosh, it's so heavy. 753 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,880 That's huge! Johnny, I can't eat and do this at the same time. 754 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,640 You can, just trust me. 755 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:31,720 I've finished. Oh, that one's going to fall. Oh, you took it... 756 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,840 Ehh... 757 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:35,320 Ah-haa! 758 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,120 Whaa... 759 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,240 Sorry. Right. 760 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,280 Right, right, right, no, no, this is a good 'un and it's a little... 761 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,080 Arrr... Sorry. 762 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:46,120 You can do this. You did that on purpose. 763 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:48,240 You can do it! Go on! 764 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,480 Right, right, right, come on. The other side. 765 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:55,840 There's a really good piece here. I'm just going to guide it in! 766 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,680 Good job. 767 00:38:57,720 --> 00:38:59,960 Right, right, look at that. 768 00:39:01,480 --> 00:39:03,640 Maa... Momm... 769 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,880 You've decimated your... He's eaten so much of it. 770 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,960 I want Daddy's watermelon. 771 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,920 THEY LAUGH 772 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,200 WHISTLE Did I just make it weird? 773 00:39:14,240 --> 00:39:16,040 Thank you, team. 774 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,800 APPLAUSE 775 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:22,840 It says something that, in context, that looked like tea at the Ritz. 776 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:26,640 By comparison to what we've already seen! 777 00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:30,040 That was three people having a perfectly civilised meal. 778 00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:35,880 Did they eat much? Well, they ate the equivalent of a human heart 779 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:38,840 or 16 mice - they ate 331 grams. 780 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:43,600 OK. Arguably a lot harder for that team. A lot harder for that team, 781 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,120 but there were three of them to munch on melon, 782 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:50,080 so I'll give three points to...to the distance feeders... 783 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:52,840 These three. Yeah. Yes. And five full points 784 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:55,480 to the worst thing I've ever seen on television. 785 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:58,640 Five points to Richard and Daisy! APPLAUSE 786 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,800 Right, please head up to the stage for the final task of the show! 787 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:11,600 What's happening here, then? Johnny Vegas is going to read the task. 788 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:16,280 Here we go. "Say the most different words without hesitating 789 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,320 "for more than two seconds." 790 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,280 "Any words already said will not count." 791 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:25,600 "The person who says the fewest words each round is eliminated." 792 00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:29,480 "The person in last place goes first." 793 00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,760 You'll do this task one at a time, whoever's standing on the speaking circle. 794 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,760 You've got to say as many words in a row as possible, 795 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,920 but in round one, they all have to be three letters long. 796 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,880 And if you pause for more than two seconds, that's the end of your go. 797 00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:45,680 Mawaan is currently last, so you're going to go first. 798 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:48,640 Mawaan, please come to the speaking circle and everyone else move round. 799 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,440 Good luck, Mawaan. Three-letter words. 800 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,160 If you pause for more than two seconds, that's the end. 801 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,680 Good luck. WHISTLE 802 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:57,880 Cat, hat, fat, 803 00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:00,520 tat, lat, sat, bat, 804 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,960 w...ha...shat... 805 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,680 WHISTLE Very clever, using "lat". 806 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:09,360 Yeah, I just know shit. Which means seven is the score to beat. 807 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,240 Please move round. Johnny, come to the speaking circle. 808 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,280 If you get over seven, you're through to round two. WHISTLE 809 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,640 Ant, mop, tea, 810 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,560 and... 811 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,760 WHISTLE That was more than two seconds. Four. 812 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,840 Four. Four. Currently, Johnny is in danger, Greg. 813 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,240 Yeah. Katherine, come to the speaking circle. 814 00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,560 See, I think...I think you're going to be good at this. 815 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,160 You'd be wrong. WHISTLE 816 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,360 Was, vat, van, 817 00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,920 nip, nit,... 818 00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:40,400 ..are, our,... 819 00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,000 ..top, lop, 820 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,520 cop,... 821 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,800 ..ran,... 822 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:50,360 ..ba... 823 00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,440 WHISTLE I can't give you "ba", but that is 11. 824 00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:56,360 Told you. She gets ruled out. A lot of words for these guys. You know me better than I thought. 825 00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,480 Lovely work. Daisy, come to the speaking circle. 826 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,040 Four or more. See if she knows words 827 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,400 the way she knows her way around a melon. 828 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,720 WHISTLE Loo, poo, 829 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:09,560 wee, mar, 830 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,560 er, ram, 831 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,720 ska, 832 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:15,560 tar,... 833 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:17,840 ..lar... 834 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,000 WHISTLE Ska as in S-K-A. 835 00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:23,120 Ska the music? Yeah. Seven, I think, from Daisy. 836 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,360 Daisy, you're through to round two. 837 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,680 Richard, please come to the speaking circle. 838 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:30,440 It's the final player in round one, Greg. Yeah. Richard Herring. 839 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,320 Think he's going to do well. He's in the lead at the moment. Yeah. 840 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,840 Can he get more than four? Good luck, Richard. 841 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,120 WHISTLE Zip, zap, 842 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:40,320 zoo, why, 843 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:43,160 dug, like - dig, 844 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:44,760 dog... 845 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:46,040 WHISTLE 846 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:48,880 Richard is through to round two. We've lost Johnny Vegas, I'm afraid. 847 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,560 Ahh. So, Johnny, do you mind staying up here with us anyway? 848 00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:55,920 Yeah, because I love to cry in front of other people. 849 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:59,400 And if you just put one hand over your mouth, that'll be great, for the rest of the game. 850 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:01,800 OK, we're onto round two. It's four-letter words. 851 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,080 Mawaan, please come to the speaking circle 852 00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,520 and everyone move round. I had loads of three ones lined up. 853 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:09,640 It's four-letter words now. Good luck, Mawaan. Your time starts... 854 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,440 WHISTLE Bear, care, 855 00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,600 robe, zing, 856 00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:16,840 can...'t, 857 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,720 leap-pigs... 858 00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:23,920 WHISTLE You started saying, "leap", but then you said, "leap-pigs"? 859 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,440 No, I said, "leap", I started another word... "Pigs". 860 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:27,680 Mm. 861 00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:30,320 No! No! 862 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:32,720 We saw your sneaky little glance back then. 863 00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:35,240 Oh, please, I never went to university, I couldn't afford it. 864 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,920 We're stopping... 865 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,960 Can I just confirm, your "bear", was that B-A-R-E or B-E-A-R? 866 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,320 B-E-A-R. Very important. OK. He scored five. 867 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,200 Good luck, Katherine. Four-letter words, starting... WHISTLE 868 00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:48,320 Bare, look, book, 869 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:50,960 took, nook, rook, 870 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,040 dear, tear, 871 00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:55,200 wear, fear,... 872 00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:58,320 ..leer, rear, 873 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,440 mere... 874 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:02,480 ..peer... 875 00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:06,080 WHISTLE Well, that's 14. She's through to round three. 876 00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:10,000 Daisy, if you get over five four-letter words, you're through to round three with Katherine. 877 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,040 WHISTLE Wank, 878 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,240 fuck, shit,... 879 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,240 ..bums, tits, cock, 880 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:19,720 task, mask... 881 00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,440 WHISTLE 882 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,560 Nine. Daisy and Katherine are definitely through to round three. APPLAUSE 883 00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,760 Can Richard join them? Richard, come to the speaking circle. 884 00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,000 There are no more swear words left as far as I know. 885 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,600 Good luck. WHISTLE 886 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:37,040 Four, five, tour, 887 00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,240 your, acre,... 888 00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,240 ..s...cat. 889 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:46,400 Stopped there on six. Greg,... Yep. ..that gap 890 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,320 was two and a half seconds. Ooh. 891 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:51,240 Which means they've both got five... They're both out, I'm afraid. 892 00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,480 They're both out in joint third. 893 00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:57,160 Ooh! No... And we have our two finalists. Can't believe it. 894 00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:00,320 Katherine and Daisy, please step onto the golden circles of final. 895 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:04,720 Ohh... Two very different approaches so far. 896 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:06,800 OK. So it's Katherine to go first. 897 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:08,920 Five-letter words. WHISTLE 898 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:10,880 Beard. Fanny. 899 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:12,960 Faded. Cocks. 900 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,840 Weird. Wanks. 901 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,920 Farted. Shits. WHISTLE 902 00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,960 We cannot give you "farted". It is six letters. 903 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:23,080 SHE GASPS Unbelievable! 904 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:26,200 APPLAUSE Unbelievable. 905 00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:29,360 May Cooper crashes through! 906 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,960 No-one expected that! 907 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,480 Come back down, we'll add all that up 908 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,640 and we'll see what the final scores are! 909 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:38,560 APPLAUSE 910 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,680 Yep, so Johnny got one point there, 911 00:45:40,720 --> 00:45:42,720 Mawaan and Richard got three points each, 912 00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,560 Katherine four, but Daisy was the winner with five points 913 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,120 with all those lovely words. APPLAUSE 914 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:50,600 And that does mean she's now the series leader 915 00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:53,440 by six points on 91. 916 00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,360 But would you like to know who's won this week's episode, Greg? 917 00:45:56,400 --> 00:46:00,000 More than anything. Well, with a score of 26, 918 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,840 he's pipped Daisy to the post. It's Richard Herring! 919 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:04,880 Ohh! APPLAUSE 920 00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:09,360 Richard wins! Go and pick up your pointy things! 921 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:11,560 Well done, Richard! 922 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:15,480 So what have we learnt today? Fruit farmers - if you're struggling 923 00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:18,680 following Brexit to find staff to harvest your crops, 924 00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:21,880 get Daisy May Cooper a subscription to a toilet magazine 925 00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:25,360 and she'll clear a field of melons in ten minutes. 926 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,280 See you next time for more fun times, 927 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,840 but right now, here's tonight's winner again - 928 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,080 Richard Herring! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 929 00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:59,080 Subtitles by Red Bee Media