1 00:00:02,056 --> 00:00:03,951 This programme contains strong language. 2 00:00:03,976 --> 00:00:06,390 Taskmaster was recorded in accordance with all 3 00:00:06,415 --> 00:00:09,471 social distancing guidelines in place at the time of filming. 4 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:12,520 SHE GIGGLES 5 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:20,270 SHE BURBLES LOUDLY 6 00:00:21,496 --> 00:00:22,520 LOUD STATIC 7 00:00:27,465 --> 00:00:29,801 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:34,111 Hello, welcome to Taskmaster. 9 00:00:34,136 --> 00:00:35,831 Let's cut to the chase, shall we? 10 00:00:35,856 --> 00:00:38,951 You're all here to watch some credible comedians go to 11 00:00:38,976 --> 00:00:40,721 incredible lengths to impress me. 12 00:00:40,746 --> 00:00:43,911 Much like a Roman Emperor, I've bathed in ass's milk 13 00:00:43,936 --> 00:00:47,520 and had vigorous sexual liaisons with my personal assistant. 14 00:00:47,545 --> 00:00:49,801 I am ready to be entertained. 15 00:00:49,826 --> 00:00:51,640 Bring on the gladiators! 16 00:00:51,665 --> 00:00:54,831 Daisy May Cooper! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 17 00:00:54,856 --> 00:00:57,190 Johnny Vegas! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 18 00:00:57,215 --> 00:00:59,190 Katherine Parkinson! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 19 00:00:59,215 --> 00:01:01,551 Mawaan Rizwan! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 20 00:01:01,576 --> 00:01:03,911 And Richard Herring! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:01:03,936 --> 00:01:07,751 And next to me, a sort of bearded jellyfish. 22 00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,721 Pretty Woman is his favourite film, 23 00:01:09,746 --> 00:01:12,361 and he collects teapots that look like cottages. 24 00:01:12,386 --> 00:01:14,631 It's little Alex Horne! 25 00:01:14,656 --> 00:01:17,881 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 26 00:01:17,906 --> 00:01:20,241 What's happening? Well, I've invented an app. 27 00:01:20,266 --> 00:01:23,270 My first app. Oh, right. Can I sell it to you? Yes, please. 28 00:01:23,295 --> 00:01:25,961 Well, you know when you're talking to someone and they're really 29 00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,751 mean to you, and you feel very sad inside but you don't want to show it 30 00:01:28,776 --> 00:01:31,111 because that would be a display of weakness? Yes? 31 00:01:31,136 --> 00:01:33,081 You get the app, right, you get on your iPad, 32 00:01:33,106 --> 00:01:35,390 and you strap it on your head. 33 00:01:35,415 --> 00:01:37,270 And then, they can't see your emotions. 34 00:01:37,295 --> 00:01:38,911 THEY LAUGH 35 00:01:38,936 --> 00:01:41,881 Shall we try it out? Look at that. Yeah, you can talk to me now. 36 00:01:41,906 --> 00:01:45,601 Once, your wife told me that you often complain of feeling lonely 37 00:01:45,626 --> 00:01:47,111 even when you're with people. 38 00:01:47,136 --> 00:01:48,991 LAUGHTER 39 00:01:51,936 --> 00:01:54,161 Yeah, it's an early edition. 40 00:01:55,776 --> 00:01:59,111 Right, then! Let's get started. Prize Task. Mm! 41 00:01:59,136 --> 00:02:02,601 Yes, and we're flying high today, because we've asked them to bring in 42 00:02:02,626 --> 00:02:05,241 the best thing with wings! Cool. 43 00:02:05,266 --> 00:02:07,751 Whoever has brought in the best thing with wings will win the round, 44 00:02:07,776 --> 00:02:09,601 gain five points, and almost certainly develop 45 00:02:09,626 --> 00:02:11,031 a temporary swagger. 46 00:02:11,056 --> 00:02:14,161 Then at the end of this episode, the person with the most points 47 00:02:14,186 --> 00:02:17,031 overall will take home all five winged things and feel pretty fly. 48 00:02:17,056 --> 00:02:20,471 OK, then. Johnny, what's your best thing with wings? 49 00:02:20,496 --> 00:02:21,801 Chips! 50 00:02:21,826 --> 00:02:23,111 OK. 51 00:02:23,136 --> 00:02:25,111 Here are his chips. What do you mean? 52 00:02:25,136 --> 00:02:27,881 Wings. Chips. 53 00:02:27,906 --> 00:02:30,721 So, he's saying they taste nice with wings. Perfect accompaniment. 54 00:02:30,746 --> 00:02:33,270 What do you mean, with wings? No-one just says wings. 55 00:02:33,295 --> 00:02:34,601 LAUGHTER 56 00:02:34,626 --> 00:02:36,241 It's the first thing that came to mind, 57 00:02:36,266 --> 00:02:37,801 and I honestly couldn't top it. 58 00:02:37,826 --> 00:02:40,801 I went with instinct, and it was wings, chips. 59 00:02:40,826 --> 00:02:44,681 Yeah, I guess Johnny... Again, you can't just say wings. 60 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,320 Well, if you have some chicken wings, what would you want with it? 61 00:02:47,345 --> 00:02:49,831 Well, I don't like eating chicken on the bone, it makes me feel sick. 62 00:02:49,856 --> 00:02:51,631 I know that. And a bit scared. 63 00:02:51,656 --> 00:02:54,111 Richard. Have you got anything better? 64 00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:07,551 Oh. Which I did enjoy. Yeah. 65 00:03:07,576 --> 00:03:09,270 Funny how I used to be a fan, innit? 66 00:03:09,295 --> 00:03:10,831 THEY LAUGH 67 00:03:10,856 --> 00:03:12,911 Here is...here is Histor. 68 00:03:16,465 --> 00:03:18,241 That's a genuinely good prize. 69 00:03:20,706 --> 00:03:22,551 Oh, really? ls it a treasured thing? 70 00:03:22,576 --> 00:03:25,440 Oh,dean Katherine? 71 00:03:25,465 --> 00:03:28,991 I think I didn't realise that, this round, you were giving points. 72 00:03:29,016 --> 00:03:32,190 Erm, so I've just been a bit... This is our eighth episode. 73 00:03:32,215 --> 00:03:33,801 LAUGHTER 74 00:03:33,826 --> 00:03:37,270 Erm, OK, I've brought in a dead wasp. 75 00:03:37,295 --> 00:03:39,111 Here it is, the dead wasp. 76 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:42,351 JOHNNY: Yeah, I don't mind it. 77 00:03:42,376 --> 00:03:46,711 I suppose it sort of represents nature in a more profound way 78 00:03:46,736 --> 00:03:48,440 than is immediately obvious. 79 00:03:48,465 --> 00:03:52,881 Because a dead wasp represents life and death. So much. 80 00:03:52,906 --> 00:03:56,471 Badgers do. 81 00:03:56,496 --> 00:03:57,801 Oh, God, that... 82 00:03:57,826 --> 00:04:01,711 Another fact about wasps - if a stray wasp, like, 83 00:04:01,736 --> 00:04:06,681 flies onto a train, it can find its way home after a few stops. 84 00:04:06,706 --> 00:04:10,070 Because it actually looks for landmarks out the window. 85 00:04:10,095 --> 00:04:11,681 OK, that's not true. 86 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,400 I was told that... There's no truth in that! 87 00:04:16,425 --> 00:04:18,761 There's no truth in it. They look for landmarks. 88 00:04:18,786 --> 00:04:20,190 She is telling the truth, yeah, 89 00:04:20,215 --> 00:04:21,961 wasps can recognise landmarks and faces. 90 00:04:21,986 --> 00:04:23,711 They can remember your face. 91 00:04:23,736 --> 00:04:25,400 Formally apologise. 92 00:04:25,425 --> 00:04:27,711 RICHARD: "Studies show." 93 00:04:27,736 --> 00:04:29,481 That's all it says. "Studies show". 94 00:04:29,506 --> 00:04:32,041 They're from The New Scientist. It's definitely true. Mawaan? 95 00:04:32,066 --> 00:04:34,801 All right, you ready for this? Let's do this, baby. 96 00:04:34,826 --> 00:04:37,121 What sort of winged thing have you brought in? 97 00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:39,161 So, I was thinking of chicken wings. 98 00:04:39,186 --> 00:04:41,161 But I did my research. 99 00:04:41,186 --> 00:04:43,761 And I know you don't like chicken off the bone. I don't. 100 00:04:43,786 --> 00:04:48,161 So, I was like, "OK, what can I do related to chicken wings?" 101 00:04:48,186 --> 00:04:51,520 And I decided to paint my favourite chicken shop. 102 00:04:51,545 --> 00:04:53,841 Here it is. 103 00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:56,961 It's got a little Greg in it. He's having some chicken. 104 00:04:56,986 --> 00:04:59,270 I really like it. So, it's a genuine chicken shop. 105 00:04:59,295 --> 00:05:01,070 It was called Perfect Fried Chicken, 106 00:05:01,095 --> 00:05:03,121 but someone's already got that name. 107 00:05:03,146 --> 00:05:06,161 So, the quickest workaround was to turn the P into an F. Yeah. 108 00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:09,400 And to use the well-known word, "ferfect". Exactly. 109 00:05:09,425 --> 00:05:10,801 LAUGHTER 110 00:05:10,826 --> 00:05:13,911 Our series leader is left. Daisy. Daisy? 111 00:05:13,936 --> 00:05:17,841 Thank you. And here it is. 112 00:05:17,866 --> 00:05:21,520 You see, I have to say I thought of doing this, and I was too ashamed. 113 00:05:21,545 --> 00:05:23,881 You shouldn't. 114 00:05:30,506 --> 00:05:32,320 Prejudiced against periods? 115 00:05:32,345 --> 00:05:34,601 LAUGHTER 116 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,200 So, what's best and what's worse? 117 00:05:36,225 --> 00:05:41,040 Well, I want to take home Richard's glory days trophy. Yeah. 118 00:05:41,065 --> 00:05:43,881 Five points to Richard Herring! Five points for Richard. 119 00:05:43,906 --> 00:05:45,681 APPLAUSE 120 00:05:45,706 --> 00:05:48,091 I want to take home Mawaan's beautiful art next. 121 00:05:48,116 --> 00:05:49,651 Course you do. Yeah. 122 00:05:49,676 --> 00:05:52,321 Four points to Mawaan Rizwan. There we go. 123 00:05:52,346 --> 00:05:54,240 Against all odds, the next thing I want take home 124 00:05:54,265 --> 00:05:55,731 is the dead wasp. 125 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,040 LAUGHTER 126 00:05:58,065 --> 00:06:04,091 I celebrate your panty liner. I'm with you... 127 00:06:04,116 --> 00:06:06,931 And obviously, I don't want a cold plate of chips that someone's 128 00:06:06,956 --> 00:06:09,240 dribbled wing juice on. 129 00:06:09,265 --> 00:06:10,931 One point to johnny Vegas. And we're off. 130 00:06:10,956 --> 00:06:12,170 APPLAUSE 131 00:06:12,195 --> 00:06:14,040 All right. Let's get on. Lovely. 132 00:06:14,065 --> 00:06:18,401 This task involves pouring a lovely little drink for a lovely big man - 133 00:06:18,426 --> 00:06:19,961 that's you, Greg Davies! 134 00:06:34,676 --> 00:06:36,961 Hello, johnny. Hi, Alex. 135 00:06:36,986 --> 00:06:38,811 What time is it? 136 00:06:38,836 --> 00:06:40,601 Does your pocket watch work? 137 00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:43,040 Oh, no, that's just for show, mate. OK. 138 00:06:52,836 --> 00:06:54,370 Is that the cup? That's the cup. 139 00:06:55,886 --> 00:06:59,321 "The cup must remain atop the cup pole at all times." 140 00:07:02,395 --> 00:07:04,120 "Fastest wins." 141 00:07:04,145 --> 00:07:06,401 "Your time starts...now." 142 00:07:09,786 --> 00:07:11,370 Yeah, what do you take that to mean? 143 00:07:15,596 --> 00:07:18,011 Yeah. 144 00:07:22,916 --> 00:07:25,761 OK. 145 00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:33,611 Right. Well, I'd like to chastise Alex for using such florid language. 146 00:07:33,636 --> 00:07:36,731 What's all this "overfloweth, atop" business? 147 00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:38,401 Just have a bit of fun with it. OK. 148 00:07:38,426 --> 00:07:40,811 Like, Biblical, like, "the cup runneth over," 149 00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,531 or like "Kenneth". 150 00:07:42,556 --> 00:07:44,011 LAUGHTER 151 00:07:44,036 --> 00:07:48,040 Would you like to say who's going to go first? Yeah. OK. Here we go. 152 00:07:48,065 --> 00:07:49,531 J0hnny_ 153 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,401 No, it's going to be Mawaan first. 154 00:07:51,426 --> 00:07:53,651 LAUGHTER 155 00:07:57,676 --> 00:07:59,331 That's the longest hose we've got, Mawaan. 156 00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:05,290 I feel like this is a fairly obvious thing to do. 157 00:08:05,315 --> 00:08:07,581 What are you going to do? just going to chuck it. 158 00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:12,731 We didn't need that hose pipe. 159 00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:17,761 Sorry, this is someone's tea, but I'm low on time, 160 00:08:17,786 --> 00:08:19,250 so this is the quickest thing. 161 00:08:28,356 --> 00:08:29,561 Is it overflowing? 162 00:08:30,836 --> 00:08:32,481 No. It's halfway. 163 00:08:36,966 --> 00:08:39,811 You didn't mean "overfloweth" in, like, a metaphorical way? 164 00:08:39,836 --> 00:08:41,331 How would that work? 165 00:08:41,356 --> 00:08:42,331 HE EXHALES 166 00:08:46,866 --> 00:08:48,300 HE SHRIEKS 167 00:08:58,356 --> 00:09:00,091 The cu peth overfloweth. 168 00:09:00,116 --> 00:09:03,370 I've stopped the clock. Nailed it. 169 00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:08,451 Well done, Mawaan. Well done. Not bad at all. 170 00:09:08,476 --> 00:09:10,250 Still feel like I've missed the metaphor. 171 00:09:10,275 --> 00:09:12,201 I still feel like there's something going on... 172 00:09:12,226 --> 00:09:15,451 How does a cup overflow in a metaphorical way? 173 00:09:15,476 --> 00:09:18,411 Like, you've got a lot on right now in your life. 174 00:09:18,436 --> 00:09:20,411 Oh, cos I'm busy? 175 00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:21,481 Yeah. OK. 176 00:09:21,506 --> 00:09:23,811 And how are you going to apply that to that cup? 177 00:09:23,836 --> 00:09:25,661 LAUGHTER 178 00:09:25,686 --> 00:09:28,691 I don't know. But what I'm asking is, have I got it...did I get it? 179 00:09:28,716 --> 00:09:31,370 Well, I can tell you a few things. 180 00:09:31,395 --> 00:09:33,731 You were by far the slowest - 12 minutes, 38. 181 00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:36,170 I was quite metaphorically hung over that day. 182 00:09:36,195 --> 00:09:39,050 The rule was obviously that only liquids could touch the red green. 183 00:09:39,075 --> 00:09:40,691 But that was cool, he's... 184 00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:43,771 Well, you saw the funnel just missing it. 185 00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:45,281 Yeah, let's just check. 186 00:09:49,716 --> 00:09:52,050 JOHNNY: Yeah. AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS 187 00:09:52,075 --> 00:09:55,891 Yeah, you touched it. You're literally disqualified. 188 00:09:55,916 --> 00:09:58,201 Metaphorically, you're still in with a shout. 189 00:09:58,226 --> 00:10:00,050 LAUGHTER 190 00:10:00,075 --> 00:10:03,611 OK. Do you want to see two measured and calm individuals? Oh, do I! 191 00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,451 Daisy and johnny? Yeah, I knew it was them. 192 00:10:05,476 --> 00:10:08,050 Here we go. THEY LAUGH 193 00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:13,281 Right. Yep. 194 00:10:19,226 --> 00:10:20,841 Just attach this... 195 00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:24,331 Yes! So, the water, the water. 196 00:10:48,306 --> 00:10:50,281 I'm running. 197 00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:08,561 Oh, the wind! 198 00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:13,891 Yes! 199 00:11:19,171 --> 00:11:22,077 Yes! Yes! Yes! 200 00:11:42,572 --> 00:11:44,906 That's overfloweth. I've stopped the clock. 201 00:11:44,931 --> 00:11:46,827 That's fucking great, what I've just done. 202 00:11:46,852 --> 00:11:48,257 Thank you, Daisy. Thanks. 203 00:11:58,722 --> 00:12:01,467 I've stopped the clock. Did you touch the red green? 204 00:12:06,772 --> 00:12:09,106 Yeah, I saw that. 205 00:12:09,131 --> 00:12:12,106 Yeah. A lot happened, johnny. 206 00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:14,867 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 207 00:12:14,892 --> 00:12:19,747 Normally when someone falls over, there's a reason for it. 208 00:12:22,051 --> 00:12:25,387 As far as I can see, you just fell. 209 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,667 There were no obstacles. 210 00:12:27,692 --> 00:12:29,437 THEY LAUGH 211 00:12:29,462 --> 00:12:31,077 I mean, a lot happened in Johnny's. 212 00:12:31,102 --> 00:12:33,437 It only took him three minutes, 47 seconds. 213 00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,057 He's disqualified, though, isn't he? 214 00:12:35,082 --> 00:12:37,797 It felt like something that wasn't liquid did touch the red green. 215 00:12:37,822 --> 00:12:40,387 Yeah, a massive hammer. A massive hammer. 216 00:12:40,412 --> 00:12:43,667 Daisy - absolute textbook. 217 00:12:43,692 --> 00:12:47,387 Patient. That is a woman who knows that wasps recognise faces. 218 00:12:47,412 --> 00:12:51,797 That is a woman. She completed it in six minutes, 55. 219 00:12:51,822 --> 00:12:54,627 Is that good? It's in the lead at the moment. 220 00:12:54,652 --> 00:12:55,827 I don't want to be a hater, 221 00:12:55,852 --> 00:12:58,827 but I think Daisy needs to get disqualified, too. Oh, OK. 222 00:12:58,852 --> 00:13:00,906 I'm so sorry. 223 00:13:00,931 --> 00:13:03,337 Did no-one notice the thing on the red green? 224 00:13:03,362 --> 00:13:06,667 The piece of paper? KATHERINE GASPS 225 00:13:06,692 --> 00:13:09,026 I would say, let's investigate that at the end. 226 00:13:09,051 --> 00:13:11,627 Well, we'll come back to that. I love making friends. 227 00:13:11,652 --> 00:13:13,026 LAUGHTER 228 00:13:13,051 --> 00:13:16,627 Did you see how she reacted to the hippo drawing? 229 00:13:16,652 --> 00:13:17,947 Yeah, I'm terrified, but I... 230 00:13:17,972 --> 00:13:20,267 Yeah, she's going to fuck you up, mate. 231 00:13:20,292 --> 00:13:21,906 LAUGHTER 232 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,877 Look at the face. Have a look. Look at her face.. 233 00:13:24,902 --> 00:13:27,187 She's not going to forget yours, she's like a wasp. 234 00:13:27,212 --> 00:13:29,517 LAUGHTER CONTINUES 235 00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,387 That's the end of part one, then. 236 00:13:41,811 --> 00:13:43,837 APPLAUSE 237 00:13:43,862 --> 00:13:46,597 Oh, hello! How very nice to see you again! 238 00:13:46,622 --> 00:13:49,477 Am I right to mention a cup on a stick, Alex? 239 00:14:00,891 --> 00:14:04,267 So, where is the liquid? Mm. 240 00:14:05,422 --> 00:14:08,557 I need to find some liquid! 241 00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:11,707 Erm... Whee! 242 00:14:11,732 --> 00:14:13,427 SHE GRUNTS 243 00:14:14,782 --> 00:14:17,116 Fuck that! 244 00:14:17,141 --> 00:14:19,677 What's that fucking cow there for, anyway? 245 00:14:24,702 --> 00:14:26,916 Right, here's my brilliant idea! 246 00:14:30,941 --> 00:14:32,397 Oh, hold on. There we go. 247 00:14:38,141 --> 00:14:40,427 It seems to be working! 248 00:14:40,452 --> 00:14:43,397 I don't think this is going to be the fastest time, but... 249 00:14:43,422 --> 00:14:46,666 It might work. 250 00:14:46,691 --> 00:14:49,427 SHE GRUNTS OK! 251 00:14:49,452 --> 00:14:51,837 How do I know when it's full? It will overflow, will it? 252 00:14:53,862 --> 00:14:56,627 Yeah. Yeah! 253 00:14:56,652 --> 00:14:58,947 I mean, I'm amazed it hasn't fallen off yet. 254 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,757 I don't think this is going to be the fastest time. 255 00:15:07,612 --> 00:15:09,837 But, I might achieve the task. 256 00:15:11,092 --> 00:15:12,707 Oh, you... I mean...! 257 00:15:14,532 --> 00:15:16,116 I should have expected that. 258 00:15:17,972 --> 00:15:20,587 I think that's full. 259 00:15:20,612 --> 00:15:22,916 Whew! It overfloweth! 260 00:15:22,941 --> 00:15:24,587 Thank you. Goodbye! 261 00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:27,197 Hang on... 262 00:15:33,662 --> 00:15:37,507 Can I touch it? 263 00:15:44,302 --> 00:15:46,757 I'm just going to check this again. 264 00:15:46,782 --> 00:15:48,996 I can touch it! Oh, for God's sake! 265 00:15:51,582 --> 00:15:54,507 Right, it's overflowing. 266 00:15:54,532 --> 00:15:56,837 Yes! 267 00:15:56,862 --> 00:16:01,837 I actually think my method was all right. 268 00:16:01,862 --> 00:16:05,916 Thanks. Bye! 269 00:16:05,941 --> 00:16:08,477 APPLAUSE Very good! 270 00:16:08,502 --> 00:16:12,357 I think you've taken away any poise that you had in the early clays 271 00:16:12,382 --> 00:16:13,996 of this show! 272 00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:17,147 Yeah. I mean, you were instantly swearing at a cow! 273 00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:21,557 What channel is this on? Channel 4! It's a shame! 274 00:16:21,582 --> 00:16:24,477 Something more obscure! 275 00:16:26,252 --> 00:16:29,197 The whole hoop madness! I mean... Oh, don't! 276 00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,947 One of your more notable strategies, which is hoping 277 00:16:31,972 --> 00:16:34,357 that water won't make it through a net! 278 00:16:38,382 --> 00:16:40,686 Yeah, I mean, she definitely should! 279 00:16:40,711 --> 00:16:45,077 No. 280 00:16:45,102 --> 00:16:48,587 Richard... Mm. Very pleased with himself, wasn't he?! 281 00:16:48,612 --> 00:16:51,357 I think the basket was... Very proud of his little beaker! 282 00:16:51,382 --> 00:16:56,947 Wow! Real nice! 283 00:17:04,972 --> 00:17:07,507 We definitely should! 284 00:17:07,532 --> 00:17:10,637 Only liquids may touch the red green. 285 00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:12,637 Your time starts now. 286 00:17:17,132 --> 00:17:19,107 GROANING 287 00:17:20,612 --> 00:17:25,307 OK. Oh, I'm not allowed on there! 288 00:17:25,332 --> 00:17:30,507 I am 97% liquid! 289 00:17:38,941 --> 00:17:41,227 Shall we just judge it on who did the best time? 290 00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:43,637 LAUGHTER 291 00:17:43,662 --> 00:17:45,477 I mean, I'm... 292 00:17:45,502 --> 00:17:48,916 Never in the history of the whole show 293 00:17:48,941 --> 00:17:51,837 have I felt contempt for all of them! 294 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,766 It's a sad day for everyone here. 295 00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:56,967 I think we'lljust, er, just have a couple of moments of silence. 296 00:18:01,711 --> 00:18:04,177 GREG TUTS 297 00:18:08,161 --> 00:18:10,857 GREG SIGHS 298 00:18:12,882 --> 00:18:14,816 SUPPRESSED GIGGLES 299 00:18:23,242 --> 00:18:25,577 Let's...let's just forget that ever happened. 300 00:18:27,322 --> 00:18:29,247 Yeah. 301 00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:35,577 Good times! All right, guys. 302 00:18:35,602 --> 00:18:38,297 Pick yourselves up! 303 00:18:38,322 --> 00:18:41,537 I'd like to see some sort of ensemble task now, please, 304 00:18:41,562 --> 00:18:43,487 to bring us all together! 305 00:19:02,762 --> 00:19:04,487 Hello, Alex. 306 00:19:08,432 --> 00:19:11,967 A script. 307 00:19:11,992 --> 00:19:16,257 Oh, no! No! Oh, gosh! 308 00:19:17,232 --> 00:19:20,097 Learn your lines! 309 00:19:20,122 --> 00:19:22,487 You have ten minutes to prepare for each of your parts. 310 00:19:22,512 --> 00:19:25,686 Then one take to pull it off. Best performance wins. 311 00:19:25,711 --> 00:19:28,657 Your first ten minutes starts now. 312 00:19:30,072 --> 00:19:32,686 Sam and Boss are highlighted. 313 00:19:32,711 --> 00:19:37,097 Boss - ruthless businessperson from South Wales. 314 00:19:37,122 --> 00:19:41,487 I don't do a Welsh accent! Wey aye, man! Did I just do that?! 315 00:19:41,512 --> 00:19:43,487 See you in a bit! 316 00:19:43,512 --> 00:19:46,377 Argh! I can't do an Australian accent either, Alex! 317 00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:53,657 SHE MUTTERS 318 00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:57,257 They're all highlighted! 319 00:19:57,282 --> 00:20:00,936 Sam, Nicky, Ross, Dr Buckley, Parker. 320 00:20:00,961 --> 00:20:02,537 Thank you. 321 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:08,407 Yep. 322 00:20:12,072 --> 00:20:15,906 Just a little admin error, was it? Should be cool. 323 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:18,337 Yep. 324 00:20:20,322 --> 00:20:23,397 Clever! 325 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:26,257 These people are all professional entertainers, 326 00:20:26,282 --> 00:20:31,097 I imagine this is going to be...quite the watch! 327 00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:41,847 AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: All right, here I am. 328 00:20:41,872 --> 00:20:43,297 Let's go, let's do this, everyone! 329 00:20:46,041 --> 00:20:50,537 No, I don't feel OK. 330 00:20:50,562 --> 00:20:53,337 No, no, no. No. Aghh. No. 331 00:20:53,362 --> 00:20:57,847 Uh, no, you big drongo! 332 00:20:57,872 --> 00:21:01,566 I don't want a hug, and if I did want a hug, it wouldn't be from you! 333 00:21:01,591 --> 00:21:04,407 So I'd rather sit in this bathtub. 334 00:21:08,402 --> 00:21:11,016 Is that the line? 335 00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:14,737 I'd rather sit in this daggy bathtub! 336 00:21:14,762 --> 00:21:16,457 Yeeeaaah. 337 00:21:25,872 --> 00:21:29,927 I've got the handcuffs! Strewth! You've got to be kidding me! 338 00:21:32,512 --> 00:21:34,177 Atchoo! 339 00:21:34,202 --> 00:21:38,207 You call this galah? 340 00:21:44,362 --> 00:21:46,287 It's not illegal to hide! 341 00:21:48,202 --> 00:21:51,337 WELSH ACCENT: Will you guys keep it down! 342 00:21:52,921 --> 00:21:56,696 I've been in... I've... 343 00:21:56,721 --> 00:22:01,377 I've just been in there trying to seal the deal with the guys 344 00:22:01,402 --> 00:22:03,637 over in the United States! 345 00:22:04,941 --> 00:22:06,796 Atchoo! 346 00:22:06,821 --> 00:22:13,197 Hey! I forgot you lived here. With me. How you doing? 347 00:22:13,222 --> 00:22:16,197 Hm? 348 00:22:16,222 --> 00:22:17,757 Darling! 349 00:22:17,782 --> 00:22:22,407 How you doing, darling? Shut up, you...idiot! 350 00:22:25,782 --> 00:22:30,666 Now, what's going on? 351 00:22:30,691 --> 00:22:34,157 GEORDIE ACCENT: Ha! I'm here! I was hiding! 352 00:22:36,611 --> 00:22:40,557 That's illegal! Hey, it's not illegal to hide. 353 00:22:43,611 --> 00:22:47,947 Atchoo! But it's damn rude! 354 00:22:47,972 --> 00:22:49,586 And it's against the law! 355 00:22:51,861 --> 00:22:53,227 No, it's not! 356 00:22:53,252 --> 00:22:57,637 Alex, I hope you got all the evidence that 357 00:22:57,662 --> 00:23:00,277 I typed up for you that you asked for. 358 00:23:00,302 --> 00:23:04,307 And here's the £3,000 out of my accooont! 359 00:23:04,332 --> 00:23:06,666 Ya knaw. Because I know it's all the money I've got, 360 00:23:06,691 --> 00:23:11,077 but you said you needed it more, so I emptied my entire account. 361 00:23:11,102 --> 00:23:13,666 I wrapped it up all dead neat for you. ..Alex. 362 00:23:13,691 --> 00:23:17,557 So, I cannae, you know, I just cannae wait for you now. 363 00:23:17,582 --> 00:23:20,227 Will you tell us who the real murderer is, like? 364 00:23:20,252 --> 00:23:23,557 Thank you very much. HIGH PITCHED: Thank you very much! 365 00:23:23,582 --> 00:23:26,586 I love all this. Like I said, I've got my handcuffs ready! 366 00:23:28,222 --> 00:23:34,197 You lot are a bunch of massive losers! Don't speak to us like that! 367 00:23:34,222 --> 00:23:36,586 LAUGHS LOUDLY 368 00:23:36,611 --> 00:23:39,947 ALL: Yes, we're OK now. 369 00:23:51,152 --> 00:23:54,307 Right, OK! 370 00:23:54,332 --> 00:23:57,877 The only performance that I was absolutely captivated by 371 00:23:57,902 --> 00:24:02,487 was Richard's. Thank you! 372 00:24:02,512 --> 00:24:04,796 I made that my own! 373 00:24:04,821 --> 00:24:07,947 Absolutely nailing a mute pervert! 374 00:24:09,691 --> 00:24:11,716 It's very important to steal focus as well. 375 00:24:11,741 --> 00:24:14,027 And what happened with the professional actress 376 00:24:14,052 --> 00:24:17,357 Katherine Parkinson and her lines? 377 00:24:17,382 --> 00:24:22,277 OK, at the time of filming, I was preparing for, erm, 378 00:24:22,302 --> 00:24:26,666 essentially a monologue on the Royal Court stage. Oh! In London town. 379 00:24:26,691 --> 00:24:31,077 Right. And I just had so many lines I was learning in the breaks. 380 00:24:31,102 --> 00:24:34,437 And I said, "Alex, please don't make me learn any more lines." 381 00:24:34,462 --> 00:24:38,877 Didn't I? And so I'm afraid I did just toss it aside. 382 00:24:38,902 --> 00:24:40,357 The awful thing is, though, 383 00:24:40,382 --> 00:24:44,796 that very eloquent explanation is going to be edited out of the show. 384 00:24:44,821 --> 00:24:49,767 And all people will see is that. And then, oh, no more acting for you! 385 00:24:49,792 --> 00:24:50,877 Sorry! 386 00:24:54,662 --> 00:24:56,207 Say what you want about Mawaan, 387 00:24:56,232 --> 00:25:00,957 but he knows how to stay...consistent with an accent! 388 00:25:00,982 --> 00:25:04,437 Yes, I'd love to just test him now! 389 00:25:04,462 --> 00:25:08,957 AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: OK? G0 for it! 390 00:25:08,982 --> 00:25:13,926 I've been to Australia many times, and it comes and goes, OK? 391 00:25:13,951 --> 00:25:18,317 But overall, I'd say it...it always slips into Brummie! 392 00:25:19,741 --> 00:25:22,077 From Australia to Birmingham! Lovely! 393 00:25:22,102 --> 00:25:24,877 OK, time for some commercials. Come back soon! 394 00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:35,196 Hello and welcome back for the third time today! 395 00:25:35,221 --> 00:25:37,236 We're currently in the middle of a line learning 396 00:25:37,261 --> 00:25:40,326 and acting task and it's going OK. Thanks, guys. 397 00:25:40,351 --> 00:25:42,685 Here they are again, having learnt different lines 398 00:25:42,710 --> 00:25:45,606 apart from Richard who is still behind a bush. 399 00:25:45,631 --> 00:25:48,156 And keep an eye on Katherine doing some ad-lib in this part. 400 00:25:48,181 --> 00:25:50,046 Here we go. Hm. 401 00:25:55,790 --> 00:25:57,236 Sam? 402 00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:01,046 Sam. 403 00:26:04,901 --> 00:26:06,765 Here I am. Thanks for coming. 404 00:26:06,790 --> 00:26:08,046 Are you OK? 405 00:26:08,071 --> 00:26:10,046 Where have you been? No... 406 00:26:10,071 --> 00:26:13,486 I missed you. Thank you for running me the bath. 407 00:26:13,511 --> 00:26:15,356 Would you like a hug? Yes. 408 00:26:18,381 --> 00:26:21,236 No, no. It's been so long and I've had such a hard day. 409 00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:25,716 Fair enough. 410 00:26:25,741 --> 00:26:26,996 Hellooooo! 411 00:26:32,511 --> 00:26:37,206 Hey, I'm in the bath. Good to see you, officer. Thank you for coming. 412 00:26:37,231 --> 00:26:40,486 Of course I came. You called me. I'm here to help! 413 00:26:45,590 --> 00:26:47,326 Everybody, chill out. 414 00:26:47,351 --> 00:26:49,596 Everyone, chill the fuck out! 415 00:26:49,621 --> 00:26:51,486 Get in the bath. 416 00:26:51,511 --> 00:26:52,876 HE SNEEZES 417 00:26:52,901 --> 00:26:56,406 Bless you. Yes, I did call her with my telephone. 418 00:26:56,431 --> 00:26:58,765 Can I have a look? ls that my phone or your phone? 419 00:26:58,790 --> 00:27:01,126 And I think you know why I'm gathering everyone here today. 420 00:27:01,151 --> 00:27:02,876 Oh, it's raining. 421 00:27:02,901 --> 00:27:06,635 I do. And I brought my handcuffs, Alex. I cannae wait. 422 00:27:17,071 --> 00:27:18,435 Who's he? Sorry, ma'am. 423 00:27:18,460 --> 00:27:20,126 HE SNEEZES 424 00:27:20,151 --> 00:27:21,286 Bless you. 425 00:27:21,311 --> 00:27:23,676 It is actually raining. 426 00:27:30,181 --> 00:27:33,596 I think you need to ask Dr Buckley. Dr Buckley! I think... 427 00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:38,765 I think you need to ask Dr Buckley. 428 00:27:42,101 --> 00:27:43,435 It's not illegal to hide. 429 00:27:43,460 --> 00:27:44,565 HE SNEEZES 430 00:27:44,590 --> 00:27:45,645 Bless you. 431 00:27:47,311 --> 00:27:48,286 Bloody 'ell, yes. 432 00:27:51,621 --> 00:27:54,076 No, stay in the bath, please. OK. 433 00:27:54,101 --> 00:27:55,926 Tell me when to sing. 434 00:28:01,821 --> 00:28:04,206 I did. Oh... 435 00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:36,006 I'm loving this, by the way. Did I tell you I've brought my handcuffs? 436 00:28:37,311 --> 00:28:38,676 Aaaa-chooo! 437 00:28:40,231 --> 00:28:41,796 Sorry, ma'am. 438 00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:44,236 Sorry? 439 00:28:44,261 --> 00:28:47,596 Not far off that time. ls everyone OK? 440 00:28:47,621 --> 00:28:49,565 ALL SHOUT AT ONCE 441 00:28:50,751 --> 00:28:56,486 That's good. Except it's not good for everyone because I can now 442 00:28:56,511 --> 00:28:58,286 reveal that the murderer is... 443 00:29:00,540 --> 00:29:02,846 Did you prefer that one? I did. 444 00:29:02,871 --> 00:29:06,565 I think because I was used to how awful they are. 445 00:29:07,981 --> 00:29:11,395 I mean, Mawaan was the star of that for me. 446 00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:14,076 Seriously? 447 00:29:15,181 --> 00:29:17,486 If I didn't know better I would say you went to theatre 448 00:29:17,511 --> 00:29:19,395 school in South Wales. 449 00:29:19,420 --> 00:29:21,286 That's how good it was. 450 00:29:21,311 --> 00:29:24,156 Yeah. Absolutely. 451 00:29:24,181 --> 00:29:29,156 So you decided, for the Geordie character, to stick with Welsh. 452 00:29:31,621 --> 00:29:34,486 It sort of started off sort of Yorkshire actually, 453 00:29:34,511 --> 00:29:36,236 and then it kind ofjust... Yeah. 454 00:29:36,261 --> 00:29:38,926 You concentrated on remembering the lines and she got them. 455 00:29:38,951 --> 00:29:40,596 That was a very long speech. Yeah. 456 00:29:40,621 --> 00:29:43,366 They both actually got that long speech. She got that spot-on, 457 00:29:43,391 --> 00:29:45,116 unlike Katherine who was just, you know, 458 00:29:45,141 --> 00:29:48,086 tossing things in at random. We know why. 459 00:29:48,111 --> 00:29:51,156 Johnny, pretty good actions, I thought. Really? 460 00:29:51,181 --> 00:29:52,565 Mm. Do you not think? 461 00:29:52,590 --> 00:29:57,286 It's a really rock solid, powerful performance. 462 00:29:57,311 --> 00:29:59,596 Sadly, upstaged by... 463 00:29:59,621 --> 00:30:02,515 ...this guy LAUGHTER 464 00:30:02,540 --> 00:30:04,156 Do you want to see a bit more of Richard 465 00:30:04,181 --> 00:30:06,476 because he did do the other characters as well? 466 00:30:06,501 --> 00:30:07,846 Yeah, I mean, OK. 467 00:30:07,871 --> 00:30:09,876 It's time for our very own 468 00:30:09,901 --> 00:30:13,156 Eddie Murphy, it's Rick, Rich, Richie, Dick and Richard Herring. 469 00:30:13,181 --> 00:30:14,515 Right. 470 00:30:14,540 --> 00:30:17,565 G'day! Here we go. I'm here. Let's go. 471 00:30:20,391 --> 00:30:22,645 Where is everyone? Here I am. 472 00:30:22,670 --> 00:30:23,756 Are you OK? 473 00:30:23,781 --> 00:30:24,956 I don't feel OK. 474 00:30:24,981 --> 00:30:26,676 No, no, no, no, no. No. 475 00:30:26,701 --> 00:30:28,395 Would you like a hug? 476 00:30:28,420 --> 00:30:31,086 I don't want a hug from you, you drongo. 477 00:30:31,111 --> 00:30:34,395 No, I don't want a hug and if I did want a hug, which I don't, 478 00:30:34,420 --> 00:30:36,756 it certainly wouldn't be from a drongo like you. 479 00:30:36,781 --> 00:30:41,116 I'd rather sit in that daggy bathtub than have a hug with a great 480 00:30:41,141 --> 00:30:42,756 drongo like you. 481 00:30:42,781 --> 00:30:45,395 I'm going to do it, in fact, that's what I'm going to do. 482 00:30:46,901 --> 00:30:48,445 That's fair enough. 483 00:30:50,701 --> 00:30:51,836 Hellooooo! 484 00:30:56,340 --> 00:30:59,006 Strewth. Erm, who let in that great galah? 485 00:30:59,031 --> 00:31:02,445 Good to see you, officer, thank you for coming. 486 00:31:02,470 --> 00:31:04,315 Of course I came, you asked me. I am here. 487 00:31:04,340 --> 00:31:06,726 Why doesn't everyone chill out? HE SNEEZES 488 00:31:06,751 --> 00:31:08,366 Bless you. 489 00:31:08,391 --> 00:31:10,286 You called this galah? 490 00:31:10,311 --> 00:31:13,236 Yes, I did, with my telephone. OK. 491 00:31:13,261 --> 00:31:15,726 And I think you know why I've gathered everyone here today. 492 00:31:15,751 --> 00:31:18,286 I do. I've got my handcuffs ready, Alex. 493 00:31:18,311 --> 00:31:19,756 I'm very excited. 494 00:31:19,781 --> 00:31:21,445 A-choo! Bless you. 495 00:31:29,751 --> 00:31:31,315 Sorry, ma'am. A-choo! 496 00:31:31,340 --> 00:31:33,926 Bless you. Erm... 497 00:31:33,951 --> 00:31:35,286 Ah! I didn't know you were here. 498 00:31:35,311 --> 00:31:38,166 I forgot you were coming here, darling, my love. 499 00:31:38,191 --> 00:31:39,525 Sort of. 500 00:31:45,391 --> 00:31:47,806 I think you need to ask Dr Buckley. 501 00:31:47,831 --> 00:31:48,806 Ha! Here I am. 502 00:31:48,831 --> 00:31:50,086 I was hiding all along. 503 00:31:53,111 --> 00:31:57,445 But that's illegal. It's not illegal to hide. A-choo! Bless you, officer. 504 00:31:57,470 --> 00:32:00,395 But it's damn rude. 505 00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:05,836 And it's against the law. 506 00:32:05,861 --> 00:32:08,886 I've got all my evidence, hey, Alex, I've got all my evidence for you. 507 00:32:08,911 --> 00:32:11,195 I typed it up neatly like you asked. 508 00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:15,806 I got £3,000 out of my bank account and I brought it here for you. 509 00:32:15,831 --> 00:32:17,445 It's all the money I got in the world 510 00:32:17,470 --> 00:32:20,195 but you said you needed it more than I did so I got it out 511 00:32:20,220 --> 00:32:23,836 and I wrapped it up for you and here it is. And now you can 512 00:32:23,861 --> 00:32:27,445 tell us who the murderer is and that will be the end of the matter. 513 00:32:27,470 --> 00:32:29,246 Oh, thank you, sir! 514 00:32:29,271 --> 00:32:30,756 Sorry, sir. 515 00:32:33,391 --> 00:32:34,395 Bless you. 516 00:32:34,420 --> 00:32:37,806 Thank you. 517 00:32:37,831 --> 00:32:40,116 Don't remember... You're a loser, you idiot. 518 00:32:41,340 --> 00:32:43,086 Oh! Hey, don't speak to us like that. 519 00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:46,315 Whoop! 520 00:32:46,340 --> 00:32:47,966 Is everyone OK? ALL: Yes! 521 00:32:47,991 --> 00:32:50,476 We're all OK now. 522 00:32:50,501 --> 00:32:52,315 That's good. 523 00:32:52,340 --> 00:32:54,645 Except it's not good for everyone 524 00:32:54,670 --> 00:32:57,645 because I can now reveal that the murderer is... 525 00:32:59,420 --> 00:33:01,836 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 526 00:33:09,311 --> 00:33:11,366 Oh. Tour de force. Thank you. 527 00:33:11,391 --> 00:33:15,756 So many lines were bang on as well. So many. Really impressive. 528 00:33:15,781 --> 00:33:19,166 The most impressive thing for me is that Richard, 529 00:33:19,191 --> 00:33:23,006 playing four characters, all of whom were still 530 00:33:23,031 --> 00:33:27,966 overshadowed by a mute character, 531 00:33:27,991 --> 00:33:30,246 who appears to be masturbating in a bush. 532 00:33:31,751 --> 00:33:34,836 That's the only kind of part I actually do get is... 533 00:33:34,861 --> 00:33:38,325 With every new part, you appear to get physically tighter. 534 00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:41,686 Every time a new character came in, you said, "Yehhhhh!" 535 00:33:44,271 --> 00:33:46,726 But this, you've nailed... 536 00:33:46,751 --> 00:33:49,046 LAUGHTER 537 00:33:49,071 --> 00:33:51,726 You've nailed that, mate. 538 00:33:51,751 --> 00:33:55,086 Yes, I remember back in 2020, 539 00:33:55,111 --> 00:33:59,006 I was playing wanking man in a bush... 540 00:33:59,031 --> 00:34:02,476 It was a very challenging role and people said I don't know 541 00:34:02,501 --> 00:34:04,325 whether Herring is up to it. 542 00:34:08,831 --> 00:34:11,756 All right. Do you want to score them? Yeah. 543 00:34:13,581 --> 00:34:15,366 Unfortunately, I feel sorry for Katherine 544 00:34:15,391 --> 00:34:17,006 because she's a fine actress, 545 00:34:17,031 --> 00:34:19,445 but she was blighted by her successful career 546 00:34:19,470 --> 00:34:24,405 and didn't learn enough lines and Mawaan's accents are insane 547 00:34:24,430 --> 00:34:27,606 so I'm going to give both of them two points. Oh, OK. 548 00:34:27,631 --> 00:34:30,476 Two points for these two. I still enjoyed the performance though. 549 00:34:30,501 --> 00:34:34,886 Daisy, I think that the accent on the second character may have 550 00:34:34,911 --> 00:34:37,556 snatched a point off her so I'm going to give her three points. 551 00:34:37,581 --> 00:34:39,275 Three points to Daisy. That's fair. 552 00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:43,966 Four points, I think that Johnny was consistent in his accent 553 00:34:43,991 --> 00:34:46,806 and of course, you know, 554 00:34:46,831 --> 00:34:49,195 the Oscar goes to... 555 00:34:53,791 --> 00:34:55,996 ...the Olivier of our times. 556 00:34:57,581 --> 00:34:59,166 Five points to Richard Herring. 557 00:34:59,191 --> 00:35:01,886 CHEERS AND APPLAUSE 558 00:35:04,151 --> 00:35:06,166 Oh, what's next, little Alex Horne? 559 00:35:06,191 --> 00:35:08,806 It's our old friend the coconut. 560 00:35:08,831 --> 00:35:10,525 MUSIC PLAYS 561 00:35:10,550 --> 00:35:12,806 CLATTERING OF HOOVES 562 00:35:12,831 --> 00:35:15,046 HORSE NEIGHS 563 00:35:20,581 --> 00:35:22,086 What's up? Pardon? 564 00:35:22,111 --> 00:35:23,966 What's up? Hello, Mawaan. 565 00:35:23,991 --> 00:35:26,405 Ahhh! Right. 566 00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:34,405 "Drink one full tablespoon of coconut water." 567 00:35:34,430 --> 00:35:37,806 "lf you use the same coconut water extraction method as another 568 00:35:37,831 --> 00:35:40,275 "contestant, you will both be disqualified." 569 00:35:42,581 --> 00:35:45,556 "Your time starts now." 570 00:35:45,581 --> 00:35:49,126 So it should be quite unusual, although that's no guarantee. 571 00:35:51,021 --> 00:35:54,445 No-one in that introduction gave me any confidence whatsoever 572 00:35:54,470 --> 00:35:58,356 that they are going to open the coconut in a remotely original way. 573 00:35:58,381 --> 00:36:01,096 OK, well, we're going to see a few of them together. 574 00:36:01,121 --> 00:36:02,916 Here is Daisy, Mawaan and johnny. 575 00:36:04,021 --> 00:36:08,405 If my theory is correct, every other contestant will be 576 00:36:08,430 --> 00:36:12,325 concerned about getting disqualified, 577 00:36:12,350 --> 00:36:18,846 therefore I will use the easiest of methods, 578 00:36:18,871 --> 00:36:21,405 therefore I will win. 579 00:36:22,550 --> 00:36:25,166 So the non-obvious thing would be to... 580 00:36:26,791 --> 00:36:29,686 ...peel it, all the way until I get to water? 581 00:36:31,151 --> 00:36:33,046 No, that's going to take ages. 582 00:36:33,071 --> 00:36:36,405 Right, so I'm guessing they used either the hammer or that. 583 00:36:36,430 --> 00:36:38,325 Erm... 584 00:36:41,511 --> 00:36:42,816 People won't use that 585 00:36:42,841 --> 00:36:45,716 cos they'll think everyone is going to use that. 586 00:36:45,741 --> 00:36:47,246 Actually, do you know what? 587 00:36:47,271 --> 00:36:49,816 I feel like everyone, no-one is just going to smash it open 588 00:36:49,841 --> 00:36:52,166 because they'll be like that is too obvious 589 00:36:52,191 --> 00:36:54,636 and someone else has done that but then no-one will do it. 590 00:37:04,661 --> 00:37:06,566 SLURPING 591 00:37:09,151 --> 00:37:10,606 Ah! 592 00:37:12,350 --> 00:37:13,636 It be empty. 593 00:37:17,430 --> 00:37:19,325 Oh, it's leaking. 594 00:37:19,350 --> 00:37:21,566 It's run out. 595 00:37:23,381 --> 00:37:25,075 It's all on the table. 596 00:37:25,100 --> 00:37:27,356 What is it? OK. It's all right. 597 00:37:38,100 --> 00:37:39,636 I've stopped the clock. 598 00:37:39,661 --> 00:37:42,566 It's fresh. OK, well thank you. Thanks. 599 00:37:44,991 --> 00:37:47,966 Mm, right. So they all basically had the same idea 600 00:37:47,991 --> 00:37:49,926 and did a really rubbish... Ah. 601 00:37:53,591 --> 00:37:56,205 And the straw. They were slightly different techniques. 602 00:37:56,230 --> 00:37:57,716 Yeah, and I used a bag. 603 00:37:57,741 --> 00:38:01,176 So these two cats have cancelled themselves out straight away. 604 00:38:01,201 --> 00:38:03,075 Johnny is leading the way 605 00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,566 and he just blew a hole in it with a screwdriver. 606 00:38:05,591 --> 00:38:08,535 He was quick as well, 57 seconds. All right. 607 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,325 Do you want to see Richard having a crack? You know I do. 608 00:38:11,350 --> 00:38:13,716 "Fastest wins. Your time starts now." 609 00:38:13,741 --> 00:38:17,716 I'll put on some of these just in case. Be sensible. Erm... 610 00:38:17,741 --> 00:38:20,006 It's a straw isn't it? Good. 611 00:38:20,031 --> 00:38:22,325 Please be careful. 612 00:38:33,791 --> 00:38:35,126 Have to drink it. 613 00:38:37,871 --> 00:38:39,846 I guess someone else might do that though, eh? 614 00:38:39,871 --> 00:38:43,176 My God, it's like watching a pensioner at a B&B, 615 00:38:43,201 --> 00:38:46,046 having his breakfast. 616 00:38:46,071 --> 00:38:47,966 HE SMACKS HIS LIPS 617 00:38:47,991 --> 00:38:49,686 It's tasty, isn't it? Right. 618 00:38:49,711 --> 00:38:52,126 We're three parts down so it won't be long before one lucky 619 00:38:52,151 --> 00:38:56,566 winner takes home Daisy's panty liner and Catherine's dead wasp. 620 00:38:56,591 --> 00:38:58,075 Yeah! 621 00:38:58,100 --> 00:39:00,006 APPLAUSE 622 00:39:06,051 --> 00:39:09,746 Hello, and welcome back to Who Wants To Be A Silly On Air. 623 00:39:09,771 --> 00:39:11,985 LAUGHTER 624 00:39:13,210 --> 00:39:16,185 We'd nearly finished the coconut task, hadn't we, Alex? 625 00:39:16,210 --> 00:39:17,666 We sure had. 626 00:39:17,691 --> 00:39:19,266 They all got into it, they all drank, 627 00:39:19,291 --> 00:39:23,666 and they all did reasonably well. One to go. And, thankfully, 628 00:39:23,691 --> 00:39:25,516 she didn't have to you not learn any lines for this one. 629 00:39:25,541 --> 00:39:27,906 It's Katherine Parkinson. 630 00:39:27,931 --> 00:39:31,076 OK. So that's my tablespoon. 631 00:39:31,101 --> 00:39:33,746 We've got something to peeL 632 00:39:33,771 --> 00:39:36,906 That is a straw, so that's good. 633 00:39:40,571 --> 00:39:44,026 "Drink one full tablespoon of coconut water." 634 00:39:44,051 --> 00:39:46,516 We have some in the kitchen. 635 00:39:46,541 --> 00:39:48,746 It's not breaking any rules, is it? 636 00:39:52,541 --> 00:39:54,156 Amazing. 637 00:39:57,210 --> 00:39:59,876 Took me awhile to open the fridge. 638 00:39:59,901 --> 00:40:03,266 But, once I managed it, this was in there. 639 00:40:05,651 --> 00:40:09,386 Well, my extraction method was I went to the fridge. 640 00:40:11,340 --> 00:40:13,706 Thanks. 641 00:40:13,731 --> 00:40:16,666 APPLAUSE 642 00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:20,706 Well, I would say she did the task. 643 00:40:20,731 --> 00:40:23,065 The rest of the attempts were absolutely shameful. 644 00:40:23,090 --> 00:40:24,706 At least you gave it some thought, 645 00:40:24,731 --> 00:40:27,105 after you rubbed your little tangerine. 646 00:40:27,130 --> 00:40:30,185 Well, these two went out early. They're out. These two... Zero! 647 00:40:30,210 --> 00:40:33,105 ...opened it in the same way, but then extracted it in different ways. 648 00:40:33,130 --> 00:40:34,346 Shaking or sucking. 649 00:40:34,371 --> 00:40:36,235 Yeah, OK. 650 00:40:36,260 --> 00:40:38,906 Richard was the quickest, then johnny. Katherine was the slowest, 651 00:40:38,931 --> 00:40:41,266 but seemed to be the only one to use a different method. 652 00:40:41,291 --> 00:40:43,626 Five points to Katherine, four points to Richard, 653 00:40:43,651 --> 00:40:44,706 three points to johnny. 654 00:40:44,731 --> 00:40:46,706 Katherine wins it on style. On style. 655 00:40:46,731 --> 00:40:48,346 Very unusual. 656 00:40:48,371 --> 00:40:49,706 APPLAUSE 657 00:40:49,731 --> 00:40:51,596 A quick look at the scoring board. 658 00:40:51,621 --> 00:40:54,386 The actor is winning the episode. 659 00:40:54,411 --> 00:40:56,156 Richard has 14 points. 660 00:40:56,181 --> 00:40:57,156 Wow. 661 00:40:58,701 --> 00:41:01,746 So deserved. OK, everybody. 662 00:41:01,771 --> 00:41:05,235 Make your way to the stage for the final task of the show! 663 00:41:08,451 --> 00:41:11,396 Hello, there. Hello, Greg. What's happening? 664 00:41:11,421 --> 00:41:13,985 I'd like Richard Herring to read the task. 665 00:41:26,621 --> 00:41:27,985 So, it's a team task. 666 00:41:28,010 --> 00:41:30,826 But we've changed the teams, Greg, for this one occasion. 667 00:41:30,851 --> 00:41:31,906 Lovely. 668 00:41:31,931 --> 00:41:35,706 After the fireworks last time, we've separated Daisy and Richard. 669 00:41:35,731 --> 00:41:37,036 Oh-ho! 670 00:41:37,061 --> 00:41:40,596 And it's now boys versus girls. Right, got it. Yes! 671 00:41:40,621 --> 00:41:42,985 Well, it's a normal staring contest, except that Greg will give 672 00:41:43,010 --> 00:41:46,546 you something to be doing while staring at each other. 673 00:41:46,571 --> 00:41:49,065 So, first up, it's Richard versus Katherine. 674 00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:50,786 What would you like Katherine to be doing? 675 00:41:50,811 --> 00:41:53,876 I'd like Katherine to be staring whilst pretending 676 00:41:53,901 --> 00:41:58,235 that she's angry with some boys who are making noise outside. 677 00:41:58,260 --> 00:41:59,346 She's got that. 678 00:41:59,371 --> 00:42:01,826 Richard, what should he be doing? 679 00:42:01,851 --> 00:42:06,185 We all know what Richard's good at. 680 00:42:06,210 --> 00:42:08,546 I'm going to push him to do something different. 681 00:42:08,571 --> 00:42:10,876 I would like Richard to imagine 682 00:42:10,901 --> 00:42:13,985 that he's a small girl lost in the woods. Aw! 683 00:42:14,010 --> 00:42:15,786 Angry lady versus small girl. 684 00:42:16,931 --> 00:42:19,185 Please start staring on the whistle. 685 00:42:19,210 --> 00:42:20,065 Good luck. 686 00:42:20,090 --> 00:42:21,065 WHISTLE 687 00:42:22,701 --> 00:42:24,906 LAUGHTER 688 00:42:30,531 --> 00:42:32,146 He's got gears. 689 00:42:40,210 --> 00:42:41,506 We blinked at the same time. 690 00:42:41,531 --> 00:42:44,426 They blinked at the same time. Unheard of. 691 00:42:44,451 --> 00:42:46,786 OK, Greg. We've analysed the footage. Yes? 692 00:42:46,811 --> 00:42:48,476 The winner won by three frames. 693 00:42:50,061 --> 00:42:53,146 She blinked three frames after him. Yes! 694 00:42:53,171 --> 00:42:54,906 Two points to the girls. 695 00:42:54,931 --> 00:42:56,476 Well played. 696 00:42:58,210 --> 00:43:00,956 Mawaan, step up to the... 697 00:43:00,981 --> 00:43:05,315 Nice to see the actress clawing back some credibility there. Lovely. 698 00:43:05,340 --> 00:43:08,036 Greg, it's Mawaan versus Daisy. OK. 699 00:43:08,061 --> 00:43:10,506 What would you like Daisy May Cooper to be doing? 700 00:43:10,531 --> 00:43:12,786 She is... 701 00:43:12,811 --> 00:43:14,346 ...a chicken auctioneer... 702 00:43:14,371 --> 00:43:16,836 LAUGHTER 703 00:43:16,861 --> 00:43:18,506 Who is trying to do her job, 704 00:43:18,531 --> 00:43:20,346 despite the fact she needs to sneeze. 705 00:43:20,371 --> 00:43:21,876 Wow, a lot going on there. 706 00:43:21,901 --> 00:43:24,626 What's Mawaan doing? 707 00:43:24,651 --> 00:43:29,146 Mawaan is a professor who keeps having good ideas. 708 00:43:30,861 --> 00:43:33,476 OK, a chicken auctioneer versus a professor. 709 00:43:33,501 --> 00:43:35,115 Good luck, teams. 710 00:43:35,140 --> 00:43:36,556 Your time starts... 711 00:43:36,581 --> 00:43:37,756 WHISTLE 712 00:43:53,861 --> 00:43:57,396 I've just looked at you, I think I did blink. There was a blink. 713 00:43:57,421 --> 00:43:59,706 There was a blink. Two points to the boys this time. 714 00:43:59,731 --> 00:44:02,146 I'm sorry. 715 00:44:02,171 --> 00:44:06,036 Just confirm what was happening? ls trying to stop myself from sneezing. 716 00:44:06,061 --> 00:44:08,985 I see, I genuinely didn't know what you were doing. 717 00:44:09,010 --> 00:44:10,956 It's the final bout. 718 00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:13,676 Everyone so far has won two points. 719 00:44:13,701 --> 00:44:16,266 Vegas versus Parkinson. Sorry, mate. 720 00:44:16,291 --> 00:44:18,626 Greg, what would you like Katherine Parkinson to do? 721 00:44:18,651 --> 00:44:22,065 Katherine Parkinson is a teacher who is trying to maintain 722 00:44:22,090 --> 00:44:25,036 discipline whilst realising the chewing gum 723 00:44:25,061 --> 00:44:26,756 she has popped into her mouth 724 00:44:26,781 --> 00:44:29,276 was in fact a small block of soap. 725 00:44:31,171 --> 00:44:34,346 So, chewing, disgustedly, while teaching. That's correct. 726 00:44:34,371 --> 00:44:37,426 Johnny Vegas? He's a frog who needs a sleep. 727 00:44:38,781 --> 00:44:41,506 Yes, he is. Easy. 728 00:44:41,531 --> 00:44:44,556 Sleepy frog versus chewing teacher. And... 729 00:44:44,581 --> 00:44:45,836 WHISTLE 730 00:44:56,220 --> 00:44:57,916 WHISTLE 731 00:44:57,941 --> 00:45:00,556 There was a Parkinson blink. It's two more points to the boys. 732 00:45:00,581 --> 00:45:02,836 So, the sleepy frog takes it. 733 00:45:02,861 --> 00:45:04,315 APPLAUSE 734 00:45:04,340 --> 00:45:07,195 Come back down, we'll add all that to the final scores. 735 00:45:10,811 --> 00:45:14,506 Welcome. What happened? 736 00:45:14,531 --> 00:45:17,276 There was blinking, there was happiness and there was sadness. 737 00:45:17,301 --> 00:45:19,636 There was. And the sleepy frog won it. 738 00:45:19,661 --> 00:45:21,995 All the boys got four points, all the girls got two points. 739 00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:23,916 The series leaderboard is unbelievable. 740 00:45:23,941 --> 00:45:25,836 They're all in triple figures, finally. 741 00:45:25,861 --> 00:45:27,786 Daisy's been the lead since episode three. 742 00:45:27,811 --> 00:45:29,706 She is now in second place, 743 00:45:29,731 --> 00:45:33,306 one point away from Richard on 124 points. 744 00:45:33,331 --> 00:45:35,756 Wow. It's exciting. 745 00:45:35,781 --> 00:45:39,036 This episode, I think there can only be one winner, really. Of course. 746 00:45:39,061 --> 00:45:42,315 That winner, with a total of 18 points at the end, 747 00:45:42,340 --> 00:45:44,556 was Richard Herring! 748 00:45:46,061 --> 00:45:49,556 Richard wins. Please go and gather your winning wings. 749 00:45:51,811 --> 00:45:53,506 So, what have we learned today? 750 00:45:53,531 --> 00:45:55,836 I think Shakespeare put it best when he said, 751 00:45:55,861 --> 00:45:57,276 "If thee were my fool, 752 00:45:57,301 --> 00:45:59,636 "l'd have thee whipped for being old before thy time." 753 00:45:59,661 --> 00:46:00,786 "H0w'S that?" 754 00:46:00,811 --> 00:46:03,786 "Thou should have been wise before thou wast old." 755 00:46:03,811 --> 00:46:07,756 "Oh, let me not be mad. Not mad, sweet heaven! 756 00:46:07,781 --> 00:46:10,995 "Keep me in temperament that I may not be mad!" 757 00:46:11,020 --> 00:46:13,586 Or as Richard Herring would put it, 758 00:46:13,611 --> 00:46:14,995 uHoo!" 759 00:46:16,301 --> 00:46:18,945 That's the end of another show! Two to go. 760 00:46:18,970 --> 00:46:23,306 But, now, let's see tonight's winner bask in their glory once more. 761 00:46:23,331 --> 00:46:25,146 It's Richard Herring! 762 00:46:52,171 --> 00:46:55,146 Subtitles by Red Bee Media