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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
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Taskmaster was recorded
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in accordance with all social
distancing guidelines in place
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at the time of filming.
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I just need to read that again.
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APPLAUSE
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Hello, and welcome to Taskmaster.
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I'm your captain, Greg Davis,
and I'm in charge of this almighty,
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yet volatile warship, as it pitches
wildly through task infested waters.
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A brave crew will learn something
new about themselves every day
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before returning to dry land
to immediately sack their agents.
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The audience are watching
from a distant island.
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So let's meet the scurvy-gummed
biscuit eaters of the high seas.
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They are Charlotte Ritchie!
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Jamali Maddix!
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Lee Mack!
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Mike Wozniak!
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And Sarah Kendall!
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And next to me is a man who's head
is shaped like the rubber
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at the end of a pencil and who's
body is shaped like a pencil.
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He's a human pencil with a killer
smile, it's little Alex Horne!
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Hey, a compliment! Yeah.
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Thank you for my compliment. Bit
of a twist. Yeah, I'll take pencil.
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Let's get this chat under way,
shall we? Let's do it.
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I have finished maths.
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I've learnt all of maths,
you can ask me any sum
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and I promise you I'll get it right.
OK.
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I put a calculator in your drawer
if you want to test me? OK.
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I can't turn it on.
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I genuinely can't turn it on.
Is there one that says on?
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Sometimes it says AC
and no-one knows what that means.
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No, that doesn't do it.
It simply doesn't work.
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It's broken. I don't think this
section's going to get any better
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than this. I think that what's
happened in the last minute
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is as good
as any of your other chat.
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Great, let's get going!
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Of course. The prize task
is first on the agenda
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and this time the category
is the most shocking thing
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that is bigger than a cat,
but smaller than a pig.
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Greg will have to decide which
of the five items brought in
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is the most shocking thing
that is bigger than a cat
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and smaller than a pig, and out
will come his big five points.
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The overall winner at the end
of the episode will take home
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five shocking things that are bigger
than cats, but smaller than pigs.
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OK, good.
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Just very briefly, why did we have
to have the whole cat pig thing?
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So they knew what sort of size
thing to bring in. Yeah. Yeah?
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People say I bully you,
but I think it's deserved.
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Mike. Hello. Hello.
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What thing have you brought in that
fits this clang's criteria?
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There's a controversial artist
who lives in Dartmoor,
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not far from me, who renders scenes
from the animal kingdom
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out of glass. 50 I despatched it
to Taskmaster HQ.
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OK, this is what arrived.
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Oh, that's a shame.
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There wasn't a lot of bubble wrap,
that was the problem.
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So that's broken, is it?
That is, it's a great shame.
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The description was a glassware
sculpture depicting a scene
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from the animal kingdom.
Alpaca - in brackets -
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shaved in flagrante delicto
with gecko - in brackets -
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frenzied, as robin redbreast
looks on impassively.
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Shock level - high.
So it was a shocking scene.
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I mean, I can show you
the label from the courier here.
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You can see it did say "ultra care
deluxe super fragile delivery deal."
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I did splash out for that,
and it was perfect
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when the courier received it.
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It's a great tragedy. It's a real
shame. I'm sorry about that.
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Lee.
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É
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£
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é
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é
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Do you want to see it?
Yeah. Here it is.
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Oh, gosh. It's one of the worst
things I've ever seen in my life.
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It's called a realistic
baby face mask and the reviews,
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Brian Dee said, "Just what
we needed for our holidays,
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"well made, good quality."
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Genuinely on Amazon, that review.
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Charlotte can you beat a horrific
baby dog hybrid? Yep, I can.
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Confidently, I thought,
'Shocking,' OK.
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And then I thought,
a big bucket of ice.
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And that's what she brought in.
And that's what I brought in.
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Here it is.
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I'm excited for you to be
positive about this.
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It's rubbish. OK.
Absolutely rubbish.
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Jamali?
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É
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Here it is. Oh, God. It's a mini
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F
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So you just went with the object
part of the challenge?
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I mean to be fair,
I am fairly shocked
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that you forgot about the shocking
part of the task.
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So that was
something. There you go.
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Jesus Christ.
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Will you?
Ill settle with four, actually.
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F
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Can we all say
now what we'll settle with?
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I'll settle with four.
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Yeah, I'll settle with five.
B-b-b-b-buh!
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B-b-buh! Sarah?
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I asked a friend of mine,
cos I was kind of worried about
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bringing in a good prize,
so she brought out
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one of her...she said it's a toy
that I bought for my kid.
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This is the toy.
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And then she said
that the tail is a butt plug. Ooh!
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And then two people can sit
on the ears.
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And then I just said I don't think
anyone else is seeing that
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with that toy?
Well, they're not.
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I mean, in terms of shape, Greg, it
does have a flanged end to prevent
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the device from being lost
inside the rectum, so it would work.
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So it's a shocking donkey.
Are you ready to score? Yep.
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Are we starting?
It's pretty difficult.
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Are you starting at the top
or the bottom?
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It's not difficult to get
the bottom. Why?
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Well, cos someone
brought in a load of ice.
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Oh. Oh, I see.
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I'm giving Charlotte one point.
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I'm going to give all three
of the weirdos three points.
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Three points to Jamali,
three to Mike, three to Sarah.
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Pretty happy with that. The only
person who brought something
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that genuinely shocked me,
that disgusting baby thing.
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We'll give him five points.
Five points to Lee Mack.
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There we go. Thank you.
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OK. Lay a task on me!
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Sure thing.
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It's time to take all our clothes
off, get hot and sweaty,
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and sit on some wood!
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Hey, what's up? Hi, Jamali.
Hey, you good?
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Oh, please don't go past that rope.
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É
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What's that for?
It's for you.
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Thank you.
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For you.
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É
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What am I missing?
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What do you mean?
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Oh, yes, sorry.
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It's on that, it's on that.
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Yeah. Where's the task?
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It's not far away. OK. Yeah.
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Don't tell me it's, like, on me?
Ahh!
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É
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F
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Make the sauna stones hiss.
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F
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You may not move the sauna
stones or this rope.
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That was the first thing I thought.
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£
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You don't like it when Jamali
says "what's up," do you?
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You don't like any
kind of slang language.
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But I'm doing my best.
What's up?
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See? We cool!
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CooL
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F
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We are cool!
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É
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Let's crack on.
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So it's saunas. I like a sauna.
I see the health benefits
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and we're going to start
with Lee Mike, Lee and Mike.
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Lee Mack and Mike.
Here we go.
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Um...
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"Luzz" did you say?
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Luzz some water. How are you
spelling luzz?
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F
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I used to play again called Track
and Field on a computer game
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in the '805, and the shot-putter
would spin around.
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You had to press the button at
the exact moment to release it.
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Oh, God, that would have worked
if I had double-bagged!
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How are you spelling that?
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F
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F
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Aagghhhh!
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Oh, for God's sake!
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É
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F
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Q
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00:09:02,523 --> 00:09:03,768
Q
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00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:07,608
é
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How do you gaffer all that together?
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É
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A
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é
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Just before I try that...
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I think we all know
what I'm going to do!
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Q
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Oh, shit.
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Sorry.
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I'm just going to go and get some
more water. Back in a moment!
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F
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Here we go! Come on!
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HISSING
Yes!
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What a shot!
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00:10:07,533 --> 00:10:10,408
F
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00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:16,338
F
195
00:10:16,363 --> 00:10:18,868
é
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00:10:18,893 --> 00:10:20,227
é
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00:10:22,252 --> 00:10:24,018
HISSING
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00:10:25,403 --> 00:10:28,698
I've stopped the clock!
Well, thank you.
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00:10:28,723 --> 00:10:31,057
Lovely.
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00:10:32,683 --> 00:10:35,977
Lee, your final throw
was pretty dramatic.
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00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,658
I was pumped for quite a few hours.
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00:10:38,683 --> 00:10:41,307
I went straight in, made a cup
of tea and had jammy dodger.
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00:10:41,332 --> 00:10:42,618
It's true.
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00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:45,227
So, "nature's luzzer" is the first
of the catchphrases
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00:10:45,252 --> 00:10:47,588
that will never catch on,
that I wrote down.
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00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,868
"It's bamboo time"
being the second.
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00:10:50,893 --> 00:10:53,738
É
208
00:10:53,763 --> 00:10:56,778
Hang on there. Let me just put
that down on the, uh...
209
00:10:56,803 --> 00:10:59,948
"It's bamboo o'clock, tick-tock!"
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00:10:59,973 --> 00:11:01,948
Have you got some statistics for us?
211
00:11:01,973 --> 00:11:04,307
Yes, well bamboo o'clock
worked for Mike.
212
00:11:04,332 --> 00:11:08,668
He did it in seconds.
He did it in 704 seconds,
213
00:11:08,693 --> 00:11:10,388
which is 11 minutes and 44.
214
00:11:10,413 --> 00:11:13,538
Lee was 12 minutes 30,
so he was slower than Mike.
215
00:11:13,563 --> 00:11:15,057
He was slower.
216
00:11:15,082 --> 00:11:17,977
Oh, I've just
realised it's bamboo time!
217
00:11:18,002 --> 00:11:22,307
Right! Break time.
Flood us with adverts!
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00:11:28,872 --> 00:11:31,328
Welcome back to Taskmaster
where we're currently
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00:11:31,353 --> 00:11:32,967
in the middle of a task.
Sauna, Alex?
220
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:36,208
Little Alex Home, I thank you.
221
00:11:36,233 --> 00:11:38,976
Yes, they were trying to make some
sauna stones hiss from a distance.
222
00:11:39,001 --> 00:11:41,286
Not as easy as you might think.
Next to have a hissy fit
223
00:11:41,311 --> 00:11:43,005
are Charlotte and Sarah.
224
00:11:44,241 --> 00:11:47,336
Is there ice in the freezer?
Yeah, all right.
225
00:11:52,801 --> 00:11:54,135
SHE LAUGHS
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00:12:00,111 --> 00:12:01,416
é
227
00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:06,055
Oh, no! Come on.
228
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,336
F
229
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,336
Q
230
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:10,576
F
231
00:12:13,881 --> 00:12:16,366
Is that...? I didn't hear a hiss.
Did you hear a hiss?
232
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:22,086
Q
233
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:31,776
You thought you could run faster
than the water would fall?
234
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,416
Oh, this is... No.
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00:12:36,441 --> 00:12:39,086
Oh! Ahhh.
236
00:12:43,441 --> 00:12:44,935
Q
237
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,496
HISSING
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00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,296
I've stopped the clock.
239
00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,696
É
240
00:13:14,721 --> 00:13:17,346
It's hissing!
HISSING
241
00:13:17,371 --> 00:13:19,656
Yes, yeah.
A little hiss there. thank you.
242
00:13:19,681 --> 00:13:21,015
Thanks!
243
00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,246
Right. Well done.
244
00:13:24,761 --> 00:13:27,805
Um, for a while I thought
you'd lost your mind,
245
00:13:27,830 --> 00:13:31,346
because you just would continue
to throw the ice repeatedly.
246
00:13:31,371 --> 00:13:34,376
É
247
00:13:34,401 --> 00:13:37,015
é
248
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,376
It's the definition of madness.
249
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,736
É
250
00:13:41,761 --> 00:13:45,736
But then you did something far more
logical. You took the ice cube
251
00:13:45,761 --> 00:13:48,376
and you build a bridge
to put the ice cube on.
252
00:13:48,401 --> 00:13:49,606
É
253
00:13:49,631 --> 00:13:52,736
Um, Charlotte, you said "it's not
bad" after your first water throw,
254
00:13:52,761 --> 00:13:54,576
which was about one foot
away from you.
255
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,935
So it was quite bad.
256
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:00,216
It's not easy to wield a turkey
baster. It isn't. That's true!
257
00:14:00,241 --> 00:14:03,145
É
258
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:07,496
Once you'd devised your pulley
system, you then attempted
259
00:14:07,521 --> 00:14:09,376
to run faster than gravity.
260
00:14:09,401 --> 00:14:11,736
É
261
00:14:11,761 --> 00:14:14,145
Oh, my God.
262
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:17,506
You'd be able to just run up a tree
to the moon.
263
00:14:17,531 --> 00:14:20,895
I can tell you that they both
did it in seconds.
264
00:14:22,090 --> 00:14:25,786
710 seconds over here,
four seconds quicker than Mike.
265
00:14:25,811 --> 00:14:28,145
At the moment
Charlotte's in the lead.
266
00:14:28,170 --> 00:14:29,815
But Sarah did it even faster.
What?
267
00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:34,216
Yeah, she did it in 482 seconds,
just eight minutes and two seconds.
268
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,176
Right, lots faster.
I'm really surprised by that.
269
00:14:37,201 --> 00:14:40,096
All right, do you want to see
the Jamali finale? So much.
270
00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:41,736
Here it is.
271
00:14:41,761 --> 00:14:44,536
Do we have any, like, balloons?
Balloons? Balloons. Yeah.
272
00:14:44,561 --> 00:14:46,376
Can I get one?
Whereabouts are the balloons?
273
00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:48,376
I'll get you a balloon.
Yeah, can I get a balloon?
274
00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:50,736
What colour? Any colour.
Are you coming with me?
275
00:14:50,761 --> 00:14:52,536
I mean, the thing is,
it's a time thing,
276
00:14:52,561 --> 00:14:54,895
and you're not going very fast.
Oh, are you chasing me?
277
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,226
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, OK. If you could just...
278
00:14:57,251 --> 00:14:58,736
...step it up, please. Thank you.
279
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:16,376
Can you help me out here, mate?
280
00:15:16,401 --> 00:15:21,346
Can you like hold this
while I tape it around, please?
281
00:15:27,691 --> 00:15:29,945
Ah, no.
282
00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:31,536
No, not long enough.
283
00:15:31,561 --> 00:15:33,866
Is there a bow and arrow in here?
284
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,456
No, there's no bow
and arrow in the shed.
285
00:15:35,481 --> 00:15:36,895
Oh, all right.
286
00:15:54,001 --> 00:15:57,025
HISSING
Well, that was a hiss.
287
00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:59,506
Yeah, you're not behind the rope.
288
00:15:59,531 --> 00:16:00,815
Wait for it.
289
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,456
You got to listen, Alex.
290
00:16:02,481 --> 00:16:04,786
FAINT HISSING
291
00:16:04,811 --> 00:16:08,256
Did I pass? I suppose so. Yep?
We're counting that as a hiss.
292
00:16:08,281 --> 00:16:09,746
All right! Thanks, Jamali.
293
00:16:12,001 --> 00:16:14,306
Oooh!
294
00:16:14,331 --> 00:16:18,356
Uh, again, I thoroughly enjoyed how
irritated you get with Alex for...
295
00:16:18,381 --> 00:16:20,976
It's like, it's a time thing
and he just sort of goes,
296
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:23,536
"OK, any colour?" It's...
Yeah, yeah, crack on.
297
00:16:23,561 --> 00:16:25,336
I did trot along in the end.
298
00:16:25,361 --> 00:16:28,065
It's incredibly irritating
asking what colour balloon as well.
299
00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:30,586
Yeah, yeah. What does it matter?
Well, it might matter.
300
00:16:30,611 --> 00:16:32,426
It didn't matter.
No, it didn't matter.
301
00:16:32,451 --> 00:16:35,506
Just to explain what happened
with the sauna for Jamali.
302
00:16:35,531 --> 00:16:37,866
The reason why we were trying
to light it was cos
303
00:16:37,891 --> 00:16:39,746
when the balloon burst,
it put out the sauna.
304
00:16:39,771 --> 00:16:41,786
The whole match system was born...
305
00:16:41,811 --> 00:16:44,145
necessity being the mother
of invention was born
306
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,976
when you were trying to light
the thing, right?
307
00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:48,716
It's a hiss though.
308
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,256
It's a hiss, mate.
309
00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:53,866
It is a hiss, mate.
I'm counting it as a hiss.
310
00:16:53,891 --> 00:16:56,386
I appreciate that. You can take
that to the bank. Yeah. OK.
311
00:16:56,411 --> 00:17:00,025
I mean, it's slightly academic
because it took him 25.5 minutes.
312
00:17:05,461 --> 00:17:07,796
Jamali came last,
so he gets one point.
313
00:17:07,821 --> 00:17:09,506
Then it goes Lee with two points,
12 minutes.
314
00:17:09,531 --> 00:17:13,155
Mike, three points, 11.44.
Charlotte four points, 11.40.
315
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:15,905
But Sarah gets all five points with
eight minutes and two seconds.
316
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:19,746
Yes! The ice bridge was triumphant.
Scoreboard then, please.
317
00:17:19,771 --> 00:17:21,226
Very satisfying for me.
318
00:17:21,251 --> 00:17:25,616
It's 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
with Sarah in the lead with 8!
319
00:17:25,641 --> 00:17:29,266
Lovely! Lovely.
Do we have time for another one?
320
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:32,586
Oh, we have all the time
in the Gregorian calendar!
321
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:45,905
CLOCK TRILLS
Hey, what's up?
322
00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:48,266
Hello, Jamali.
Nice to see you again.
323
00:17:48,291 --> 00:17:51,106
Do you want me
to say "what's up" back? Nah.
324
00:17:51,131 --> 00:17:52,266
OK.
325
00:17:52,291 --> 00:17:55,596
"What's up" is like a thing you
respond to, it's not like,
326
00:17:55,621 --> 00:17:59,186
"what's up". "What's up?"
Anyway, it doesn't matter.
327
00:17:59,211 --> 00:18:02,106
F
328
00:18:02,131 --> 00:18:05,186
F
329
00:18:05,211 --> 00:18:07,626
I'm not sure
I know the answer to that.
330
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,025
You have 20 minutes.
Your time starts now.
331
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,876
Um, can I borrow your pen? Yes.
332
00:18:12,901 --> 00:18:15,466
I just have to remember the basics
before we do anything. Right.
333
00:18:15,491 --> 00:18:18,466
É
334
00:18:18,491 --> 00:18:22,436
Can I have a calendar, please?
Do you mind what pictures are on it?
335
00:18:22,461 --> 00:18:25,025
I just need a calendar ASAP,
cos it's 20 minutes...
336
00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:27,796
Can you... just get the calendar,
get the calendar.
337
00:18:27,821 --> 00:18:29,596
I need to talk to a producer
after this,
338
00:18:29,621 --> 00:18:31,516
cos the time needs to be stopped
when you're...
339
00:18:31,541 --> 00:18:33,876
Just get the calendar.
I can't deal with this.
340
00:18:33,901 --> 00:18:36,236
É
341
00:18:36,261 --> 00:18:39,386
I've heard talk of this poem.
342
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:42,596
Right so we've got 30 days
have September...
343
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,436
é
344
00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:46,986
November.
345
00:18:47,011 --> 00:18:49,705
F
346
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:53,596
Except for February, blah blah
blah blah blah blah.
347
00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:56,955
Right, I've got to confess here
that I don't know
348
00:18:56,980 --> 00:18:58,546
what the last line of that is.
349
00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,905
"30 days have September, April,
June and November.
350
00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:03,756
"All the rest have 31, except for
February, blee bluh bleee..."
351
00:19:03,781 --> 00:19:05,466
I think it's what
I always do in my head.
352
00:19:05,491 --> 00:19:07,825
Do you want me to tell you
the rest of it? Yes, please.
353
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:09,316
We had it as a reading
at my wedding.
354
00:19:09,341 --> 00:19:11,676
It goes, "All the rest have 31,
but February's 28,
355
00:19:11,701 --> 00:19:15,066
"the leap year which comes once in
four gives February one day more."
356
00:19:15,091 --> 00:19:17,396
That's awful and that can't be it.
357
00:19:17,421 --> 00:19:19,066
It doesn't even scan!
358
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:21,346
It makes me want to run up a tree
to the moon!
359
00:19:22,541 --> 00:19:24,876
So we're looking
for an alternative to that?
360
00:19:24,901 --> 00:19:27,626
Yes, just a way for you to remember
the number of days in the month.
361
00:19:27,651 --> 00:19:30,705
Let's crack on. OK.
First up, it's a man.
362
00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:33,266
He's got facial hair,
but not just a moustache.
363
00:19:33,291 --> 00:19:36,186
He's got a lovely big bushy beard.
Yes, it's Mr Jamali Maddix.
364
00:19:36,211 --> 00:19:38,476
Look, the time should be stopped.
365
00:19:40,781 --> 00:19:45,396
Like, it's unfair, cos I'm
based on his time of slowness.
366
00:19:45,421 --> 00:19:48,596
Calendar, do you have my calendar?
Yes, I'm putting it over here.
367
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:53,835
OK. Oh, so can I get more time
on the clock? Um...
368
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:57,155
Thank you.
I will leave him a voice mail.
369
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:59,626
So you're going to leave him...
What's his full name?
370
00:19:59,651 --> 00:20:01,396
I forgot his full name.
Greg, Greg Davis.
371
00:20:01,421 --> 00:20:02,955
Greg Davis, that's it.
372
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:06,396
He's got... I love Greg Davis,
he's a funny guy.
373
00:20:06,421 --> 00:20:10,316
He was good in Inbetweeners
and, erm,
374
00:20:10,341 --> 00:20:13,396
all the other great stuff
he's done.
375
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:16,066
Hey, Greg. It's Jamali Maddix here.
376
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,915
So I'm just going to leave you
a voice mail and then you can
377
00:20:18,940 --> 00:20:20,626
go back to it when you need
to go back to it.
378
00:20:20,651 --> 00:20:25,066
Um, January has 31 days
in the month.
379
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:28,116
Uh, February has 29, but I think
sometimes it's a leap year.
380
00:20:28,141 --> 00:20:31,835
You've got March, 31 days.
Same as January.
381
00:20:31,860 --> 00:20:36,196
You have April which is actually
my birthday month, is 30 days.
382
00:20:36,221 --> 00:20:38,526
So if you want to send me a gift.
383
00:20:38,551 --> 00:20:41,116
July, which is summertime,
and it's got 31 days,
384
00:20:41,141 --> 00:20:43,705
which is nice cos we've got more
days in the summer, I guess.
385
00:20:43,730 --> 00:20:47,316
You've got August which is 31.
October, which is 31 again.
386
00:20:47,341 --> 00:20:49,116
November, we're at 30.
387
00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:52,426
You got December, we're at 31.
That's Christmas month.
388
00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:56,396
And that's it! That's the...
that's the whole thing.
389
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:59,915
So, yeah, give me a text back
if you want.
390
00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:02,526
Yeah, thank you, man.
Appreciate it.
391
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:08,785
Quite a long message. I mean, it's
a lot of information, isn't it?
392
00:21:11,631 --> 00:21:14,756
You definitely haven't watched this
show before you agreed to be on it.
393
00:21:14,781 --> 00:21:18,356
Of course I've seen the show!
You don't even know who I am!
394
00:21:18,381 --> 00:21:20,715
I know who you are!
I know who you are.
395
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:22,326
You don't know my name!
I know Greg!
396
00:21:22,351 --> 00:21:25,676
You knew some of his name.
You don't know my second name.
397
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:29,526
Why do I need to know it?
Hey, listen it's not about me.
398
00:21:29,551 --> 00:21:33,035
In what situation am I going to
think, "Oh, I'm not I'm not sure
399
00:21:33,060 --> 00:21:35,396
"how many days
there are in this month,
400
00:21:35,421 --> 00:21:38,035
"I'lljust listen to Jamali's
voice mail?"
401
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:40,396
Did you not say just before,
"I can't even remember
402
00:21:40,421 --> 00:21:41,686
"the rhyme for the thing.
It goes..."
403
00:21:41,711 --> 00:21:43,686
Well, I didn't say it like that! OK.
404
00:21:43,711 --> 00:21:46,326
So then I've given you
personally a gift,
405
00:21:46,351 --> 00:21:48,965
and then now you can listen back
to it and remember.
406
00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:51,686
It was one hell of an opener.
Who's next?
407
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:54,915
It's the Australian Sarah Kendall
and Shane Richie.
408
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:58,326
Shane Rich...
Charlotte Ritchie!
409
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:00,756
É
410
00:22:00,781 --> 00:22:04,326
é
411
00:22:04,351 --> 00:22:07,065
é
412
00:22:07,090 --> 00:22:11,116
So the way I remember it is January
February, March, April, May, June,
413
00:22:11,141 --> 00:22:13,795
July, August, September, October,
November, December.
414
00:22:13,820 --> 00:22:19,246
The up ones are 31
and the downs are 30.
415
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:22,915
So we need an up and a down,
and it needs to be memorable.
416
00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:27,835
That's exciting.
417
00:22:27,860 --> 00:22:30,965
F
418
00:22:30,990 --> 00:22:35,486
J, M, M. Oh, I need more vowels.
419
00:22:35,511 --> 00:22:38,886
Jm, jm, jaod. Jammjoad!
420
00:22:38,911 --> 00:22:43,276
Then the leftover
letters are "snadge".
421
00:22:43,301 --> 00:22:46,886
So I'm thinking of April?
Yeah, Snadge.
422
00:22:46,911 --> 00:22:48,795
Or Jammjoad.
423
00:22:48,820 --> 00:22:50,486
August. Ah.
424
00:22:52,511 --> 00:22:55,845
Ah, that's two Js.
425
00:22:55,870 --> 00:22:58,156
F
426
00:22:58,181 --> 00:23:01,965
é
427
00:23:01,990 --> 00:23:04,795
F
428
00:23:04,820 --> 00:23:08,795
Yes.
429
00:23:08,820 --> 00:23:11,965
If you lie in a certain way...
430
00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:14,276
OK, so if he starts
on his left foot.
431
00:23:14,301 --> 00:23:18,886
31, 28, 31, 30.
432
00:23:18,911 --> 00:23:20,840
Q
433
00:23:20,865 --> 00:23:24,323
Oh.
434
00:23:24,348 --> 00:23:29,123
F
435
00:23:29,148 --> 00:23:31,962
Cos at the moment June doesn't
have any days and July's got 61.
436
00:23:31,987 --> 00:23:33,433
Q
437
00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:35,993
August, elbow September.
438
00:23:36,018 --> 00:23:37,893
Oh, I'm just going to have to
lower it.
439
00:23:39,588 --> 00:23:41,842
Back up to the shoulder for October.
440
00:23:41,867 --> 00:23:44,643
Keep November, December 31!
441
00:23:44,668 --> 00:23:47,842
Greg has to sit like this!
And what's the system?
442
00:23:47,867 --> 00:23:49,563
The joints of the body.
443
00:23:49,588 --> 00:23:51,603
So if I say to you July?
444
00:23:51,628 --> 00:23:57,123
January, February, March, April,
May, June, July!
445
00:23:57,148 --> 00:23:58,922
It's your 31.
446
00:24:02,987 --> 00:24:05,922
Did you initially, when you...
447
00:24:05,947 --> 00:24:08,792
when you developed your letter
system, you wanted me to learn
448
00:24:08,817 --> 00:24:11,563
jammjoad snadge?
449
00:24:13,638 --> 00:24:16,792
Yes! I did!
450
00:24:16,817 --> 00:24:20,563
I was in such a state of panic,
I felt sick!
451
00:24:20,588 --> 00:24:23,842
The body system's good, as long as
I remember to stay like this, right?
452
00:24:23,867 --> 00:24:26,643
I have tried to represent it in a
graphic, which should clear that up.
453
00:24:26,668 --> 00:24:29,433
Looks like this. That's an easy
thing to remember, isn't it?
454
00:24:29,458 --> 00:24:31,972
And the red? Reds are up,
so they have more numbers.
455
00:24:31,997 --> 00:24:33,722
Reds are up, yeah.
456
00:24:33,747 --> 00:24:36,042
Mate, it really is a workable
system though, isn't it?
457
00:24:36,067 --> 00:24:37,922
If you think it is, then it is.
458
00:24:37,947 --> 00:24:40,483
Well, it is.
And it doesn't involve me
459
00:24:40,508 --> 00:24:43,083
listening to a 35 minute
answerphone message.
460
00:24:43,108 --> 00:24:46,153
É
461
00:24:46,178 --> 00:24:49,123
It's not easier, it's less
time-consuming.
462
00:24:49,148 --> 00:24:52,483
Charlotte, I write down some
of my favourite quotes
463
00:24:52,508 --> 00:24:55,443
as the series rattle on,
and that's going in the quote book.
464
00:24:55,468 --> 00:24:59,003
"I guess the problem is that time
only has two hands."
465
00:24:59,028 --> 00:25:02,722
F
466
00:25:02,747 --> 00:25:05,693
Well, cos, yeah,
famously clocks have three hands,
467
00:25:05,718 --> 00:25:08,413
there's the minutes
and the hours and the seconds.
468
00:25:08,438 --> 00:25:10,722
Yes, they do.
469
00:25:10,747 --> 00:25:13,523
They do have three hands.
470
00:25:13,548 --> 00:25:16,003
The task wasn't necessarily
to make a better system
471
00:25:16,028 --> 00:25:18,363
for remembering the months,
it was a system.
472
00:25:18,388 --> 00:25:21,233
But I think it's implied
it should be better than the poem.
473
00:25:21,258 --> 00:25:23,613
É
474
00:25:23,638 --> 00:25:25,613
Well, you tell me
a month that I want to know,
475
00:25:25,638 --> 00:25:28,283
and I'll whisk around
and look at it.
476
00:25:28,308 --> 00:25:31,693
Here it is.
477
00:25:31,718 --> 00:25:36,083
It's pink. 30! No, it's got 31.
The clock is broken.
478
00:25:36,108 --> 00:25:38,443
Yeah, she got muddled up
with the pink and blue in the end,
479
00:25:38,468 --> 00:25:41,163
so the whole thing is wrong.
480
00:25:41,188 --> 00:25:42,693
F
481
00:25:42,718 --> 00:25:45,163
F
482
00:25:45,188 --> 00:25:48,493
I can reverse engineer my answer.
Let's try it! June. Um...
483
00:25:48,518 --> 00:25:52,283
31.
484
00:25:52,308 --> 00:25:54,643
Another 30!
485
00:25:55,827 --> 00:25:58,413
Another part dies,
but I shall resurrect her!
486
00:25:58,438 --> 00:25:59,922
LIGHTNING CRASHES
487
00:25:59,947 --> 00:26:01,283
She will be reborn!
488
00:26:07,708 --> 00:26:09,694
Hello
and welcome back to Taskmaster.
489
00:26:09,719 --> 00:26:12,374
Alex, remind the insolents what
the task was before the break.
490
00:26:12,399 --> 00:26:15,374
They're so insolent - but also
some of them are really cool.
491
00:26:15,399 --> 00:26:18,294
Before the break these guys were
all trying to create a new
492
00:26:18,319 --> 00:26:20,803
way to remember how
many days each month has.
493
00:26:20,828 --> 00:26:23,884
You want to see the last two guys?
Yes, please.
494
00:26:23,909 --> 00:26:27,414
OK. It's our very own Calendar
Girls, it's Lee and Mike.
495
00:26:27,439 --> 00:26:28,933
Mm.
496
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,454
É
497
00:26:39,479 --> 00:26:41,933
é
498
00:26:41,958 --> 00:26:45,733
é
499
00:26:47,799 --> 00:26:50,134
é
500
00:26:50,159 --> 00:26:53,164
é
501
00:26:53,189 --> 00:26:56,853
é
502
00:26:58,679 --> 00:27:01,813
é
503
00:27:01,838 --> 00:27:04,813
é
504
00:27:04,838 --> 00:27:07,534
All the...?
505
00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,063
F
506
00:27:09,088 --> 00:27:11,733
é
507
00:27:11,758 --> 00:27:14,063
Grime!
508
00:27:14,088 --> 00:27:16,044
OK.
509
00:27:16,069 --> 00:27:19,654
É
510
00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:23,094
é
511
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:25,654
é
512
00:27:25,679 --> 00:27:28,654
é
513
00:27:28,679 --> 00:27:31,654
F
514
00:27:31,679 --> 00:27:34,504
WHISTLE BLOWS
That's you're 20 minutes up, Mike.
515
00:27:34,529 --> 00:27:37,933
Er, I've got a pneumonic
for the Taskmaster.
516
00:27:44,708 --> 00:27:46,424
LAUGHTER
517
00:27:48,809 --> 00:27:52,014
Can I just see this in action?
Hi, Mike. Hi.
518
00:27:52,039 --> 00:27:54,454
Oh, how many days does October have?
October?
519
00:27:54,479 --> 00:27:56,454
O - Orangutans - 31.
520
00:27:56,479 --> 00:27:59,504
31 dead orang... You're not going
to forget 31 dead orangutans.
521
00:27:59,529 --> 00:28:02,424
It's an horrific sight,
they're endangered.
522
00:28:02,449 --> 00:28:03,974
I was born in September.
523
00:28:03,999 --> 00:28:07,863
Samurai - 30 days - er, cos of the
30 Samurai that nobbled...
524
00:28:07,888 --> 00:28:11,584
...ApriL
Thank you, Mike. Thank you.
525
00:28:11,609 --> 00:28:14,094
APPLAUSE
526
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,334
It does work but it relies on me
remembering all of that madness.
527
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,224
Quite heavy-duty.
It wasn't explicit,
528
00:28:20,249 --> 00:28:22,613
but it was implied it should be
better than the original thing.
529
00:28:22,638 --> 00:28:25,174
It should be memorable. It should
be memorable. Yeah, fair play.
530
00:28:25,199 --> 00:28:28,254
Lee, the only thing I remember
about that poem is that we
531
00:28:28,279 --> 00:28:32,224
all need to get brine off us,
like we're giant tuna fish.
532
00:28:32,249 --> 00:28:35,863
F
533
00:28:35,888 --> 00:28:38,334
The poem started with,
"Now, listen here, you...
534
00:28:38,359 --> 00:28:40,974
That's always a good start to
a poem.
535
00:28:40,999 --> 00:28:45,054
F
536
00:28:45,079 --> 00:28:48,414
I'm ready to pass judgment on this.
I can't wait. Right.
537
00:28:48,439 --> 00:28:51,174
Lee, one point.
I will remember...
538
00:28:51,199 --> 00:28:53,943
...that October's
the month of monkey massacre,
539
00:28:53,968 --> 00:28:56,334
and for that, he can have two
points.
540
00:28:56,359 --> 00:29:00,693
Charlotte's system gets three points
because it sort of works
541
00:29:00,718 --> 00:29:02,224
if I'm prepared...
542
00:29:02,249 --> 00:29:05,863
...if I'm prepared to reverse
your logic, I'll get there.
543
00:29:05,888 --> 00:29:08,733
Which means incredibly
I'm going to give Jamali's
544
00:29:08,758 --> 00:29:12,813
rubbish...his rubbish voicemail
second place with four points
545
00:29:12,838 --> 00:29:17,254
and Sarah takes a sweet
jamjod snedge, five points.
546
00:29:17,279 --> 00:29:21,174
Well done, Sarah Kendall.
This one's for jamjod.
547
00:29:21,199 --> 00:29:25,024
What's next, little Alex Horne?
Well, we're all going on a holiday.
548
00:29:40,529 --> 00:29:42,224
Hello, Lee.
549
00:29:42,249 --> 00:29:46,613
Not really.
550
00:29:46,638 --> 00:29:48,414
Hi, Jamali.
How are you doing? I'm good.
551
00:29:48,439 --> 00:29:50,974
If you want to go
around there to the luggage trolley,
552
00:29:50,999 --> 00:29:54,104
that would be great. How are you?
I'm good, thank you, how are you?
553
00:29:54,129 --> 00:29:55,664
Yeah, all right, yeah.
554
00:29:57,489 --> 00:30:00,224
"Get all of your luggage
through security."
555
00:30:00,249 --> 00:30:03,584
"Get all of your luggage
through security."
556
00:30:03,609 --> 00:30:05,304
F
557
00:30:05,329 --> 00:30:08,550
F
558
00:30:08,575 --> 00:30:11,854
"You may go under one rope
and release one rope."
559
00:30:11,879 --> 00:30:15,405
"You may also disconnect one pole
completely but you must then
560
00:30:15,430 --> 00:30:18,734
"pick up that pole and carry
it for the rest of the task."
561
00:30:18,759 --> 00:30:21,814
é
562
00:30:21,839 --> 00:30:24,814
é
563
00:30:24,839 --> 00:30:27,175
" Fastest wins,
your time starts now."
564
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,814
é
565
00:30:28,839 --> 00:30:30,814
é
566
00:30:30,839 --> 00:30:33,734
Quite a lot older.
567
00:30:33,759 --> 00:30:36,655
Mm-hm.
568
00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,015
I would sum this task up as being
irritatingly complicated.
569
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,325
So complicated. In a good way?
570
00:30:42,350 --> 00:30:45,405
Let's go.
571
00:30:45,430 --> 00:30:49,814
OK, well, the simple task is to...
572
00:30:49,839 --> 00:30:51,814
...get all your
luggage through security.
573
00:30:51,839 --> 00:30:55,045
It's time to check out Mike
and Charlotte checking in.
574
00:30:55,070 --> 00:30:56,975
Right, OK, thank you.
575
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,895
If you'll excuse me, I'm just going
to have a quick look and see...
576
00:31:01,709 --> 00:31:06,045
It's a fiddly old thing, isn't it?
Where have I got to go? There.
577
00:31:06,070 --> 00:31:07,895
Passport and boarding pass.
578
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:11,155
The temptation was to just
sort of lazum over the...
579
00:31:12,460 --> 00:31:15,594
But I mean, I don't...
My aim isn't that impressive.
580
00:31:15,619 --> 00:31:17,875
All right, OK.
581
00:31:17,900 --> 00:31:20,635
The old fiddly trolley.
582
00:31:22,020 --> 00:31:23,875
Don't forget.
583
00:31:26,180 --> 00:31:29,075
You've released one rope.
I have released one rope.
584
00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:31,875
Release that one.
585
00:31:33,590 --> 00:31:36,125
Didn't strike the barrier,
but it very nearly did.
586
00:31:36,150 --> 00:31:37,714
It very nearly did, didn't it?
587
00:31:40,540 --> 00:31:42,035
Oh.
588
00:31:45,100 --> 00:31:46,975
OK.
589
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:55,205
Just to be on the safe side,
a good hands-free technique.
590
00:32:02,540 --> 00:32:04,875
That doesn't count, does it,
because it's not...
591
00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:06,755
It's all up to you,
do you think it counts?
592
00:32:06,780 --> 00:32:10,115
Oh, if it's up to me,
it didn't touch anything. Oh, OK.
593
00:32:12,780 --> 00:32:15,315
OK, got it. OK.
594
00:32:15,340 --> 00:32:16,924
Oh, OK.
595
00:32:16,949 --> 00:32:19,315
Yep. OK.
596
00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:24,755
Hello there. Hello.
597
00:32:24,780 --> 00:32:27,594
Please can I see your
boarding pass and passport?
598
00:32:27,619 --> 00:32:30,515
I mean, I've got... I've got that.
599
00:32:30,540 --> 00:32:32,474
Oh, hang on.
600
00:32:32,499 --> 00:32:35,235
I can see what
looks like a passport.
601
00:32:35,260 --> 00:32:37,515
LAUGHTER
OK!
602
00:32:38,869 --> 00:32:41,844
OK. Thank you, that's fine.
603
00:32:43,540 --> 00:32:46,844
It's lucky these are all empty.
They're all empty, are they? Yep.
604
00:32:46,869 --> 00:32:48,205
Over the ropes.
605
00:32:49,900 --> 00:32:52,755
Slightly unsettling. Thank you.
606
00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:57,115
Do you want me to stop the clock?
Yep. I've stopped it. All right.
607
00:32:59,699 --> 00:33:01,515
Time off.
608
00:33:01,540 --> 00:33:04,515
I think we're through.
Have a nice trip. Thank you, Alex.
609
00:33:04,540 --> 00:33:06,205
I'll go this way.
610
00:33:12,030 --> 00:33:14,474
LAUGHTER
611
00:33:17,670 --> 00:33:20,724
APPLAUSE
612
00:33:20,749 --> 00:33:25,235
Right, Charlotte looked fresh-faced
and positive, whereas Mike looked,
613
00:33:25,260 --> 00:33:28,924
as I imagine he looks when he takes
his actual family through passport
614
00:33:28,949 --> 00:33:33,445
control, like he could flip out
at any minute, and leave them all.
615
00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:35,804
Mike was the only one who
then took all the luggage away,
616
00:33:35,829 --> 00:33:38,525
everyone else thought, "The task
is over, I'll leave the luggage."
617
00:33:38,550 --> 00:33:40,885
But he thought he was
off on holiday at that point.
618
00:33:40,910 --> 00:33:44,724
I think I'm just too heavily
conditioned by institutions,
619
00:33:44,749 --> 00:33:48,604
rules, and once I set off on
a path, I just have to keep going.
620
00:33:48,629 --> 00:33:49,955
Where did you take them?
621
00:33:49,980 --> 00:33:53,755
I think when I hit fresh air, then
I sort of came to. What, you...?
622
00:33:53,780 --> 00:33:57,674
I think someone gave me
a sugary tea and I calmed down.
623
00:34:00,310 --> 00:34:01,474
As an older person,
624
00:34:01,499 --> 00:34:04,245
I actually found Charlotte's
positivity quite annoying.
625
00:34:04,270 --> 00:34:05,565
F
626
00:34:05,590 --> 00:34:08,085
Almost too positive, though,
because Charlotte, as you saw,
627
00:34:08,110 --> 00:34:11,165
one of her bags did strike
one of the barriers. It did.
628
00:34:11,190 --> 00:34:14,195
And she decided not to start
again at that point.
629
00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:17,005
So, what are you saying,
that Charlotte absolutely fucked it?
630
00:34:17,030 --> 00:34:19,035
I wouldn't have used those words,
631
00:34:19,060 --> 00:34:21,365
I would have said
completely fucked it.
632
00:34:21,390 --> 00:34:22,474
Give me some times.
633
00:34:22,499 --> 00:34:25,245
Well, she did take six minutes 53,
so she would have been quick,
634
00:34:25,270 --> 00:34:28,285
but she failed.
Such a shame. Such a shame.
635
00:34:28,310 --> 00:34:31,835
Mike, eight minutes 29.
OK, everyone, break time now.
636
00:34:31,860 --> 00:34:34,684
So, intoxicate yourselves
on some adverts for a while,
637
00:34:34,709 --> 00:34:37,684
and then return to the
climax of the show.
638
00:34:37,709 --> 00:34:40,525
Someone's going to win
a bucket of ice!
639
00:34:40,550 --> 00:34:42,885
APPLAUSE
640
00:34:46,908 --> 00:34:49,453
Hello, everyone
and welcome inside the fourth
641
00:34:49,478 --> 00:34:51,163
and final part of the show.
642
00:34:51,188 --> 00:34:54,043
Yeah, I reckon its going to be a
sick final part of the show.
643
00:34:54,068 --> 00:34:56,963
Before the break, the competitors
were trying to make their way around
644
00:34:56,988 --> 00:34:58,163
an airport check-in maze.
645
00:34:58,188 --> 00:35:00,682
The next people we're going to see
hanging around in a hanger
646
00:35:00,707 --> 00:35:03,373
are Lee, Sarah and Jamali.
647
00:35:03,398 --> 00:35:04,843
Oh, shit.
648
00:35:04,868 --> 00:35:07,203
F
649
00:35:07,228 --> 00:35:08,453
Where are you going today?
650
00:35:08,478 --> 00:35:09,682
F
651
00:35:09,707 --> 00:35:10,682
OK.
652
00:35:14,988 --> 00:35:17,453
OK, so I can disconnect one.
653
00:35:17,478 --> 00:35:19,812
Oh, why did I do that one?
Can I reconnect it?
654
00:35:19,837 --> 00:35:20,812
No.
655
00:35:24,658 --> 00:35:26,203
F
656
00:35:26,228 --> 00:35:28,043
You must go under one rope
and release one.
657
00:35:28,068 --> 00:35:29,732
F
658
00:35:30,918 --> 00:35:33,173
Go under. I can go under
another one.
659
00:35:35,428 --> 00:35:36,403
Oh.
660
00:35:47,228 --> 00:35:49,533
Oh, it just hit the...
661
00:35:49,558 --> 00:35:50,812
é
662
00:35:50,837 --> 00:35:52,253
METALLIC CLANG
663
00:35:52,278 --> 00:35:53,643
Well, it sounded like it hit one.
664
00:35:53,668 --> 00:35:54,812
It did.
665
00:35:54,837 --> 00:35:57,093
F
666
00:35:57,118 --> 00:35:58,682
Yeah, I made it. Oh, hello there.
667
00:35:58,707 --> 00:36:01,323
Um, can I see your passport
and boarding pass, please?
668
00:36:01,348 --> 00:36:03,923
LAUGHING: I don't have a passport
and boarding pass.
669
00:36:06,228 --> 00:36:08,643
You're entering from a
different point. Yes. OK.
670
00:36:10,278 --> 00:36:12,093
You have released one rope.
671
00:36:17,398 --> 00:36:18,482
Right.
672
00:36:20,757 --> 00:36:21,763
Oh, its heavy, isn't it?
673
00:36:21,788 --> 00:36:22,973
Yes.
674
00:36:22,998 --> 00:36:25,533
Do you know, if you scan them
through while I'm looking for it
675
00:36:25,558 --> 00:36:27,893
cos it's in one of my bags.
You might as well scan them
676
00:36:27,918 --> 00:36:30,333
cos I'm coming through anyway.
You want me to put that through?
677
00:36:30,358 --> 00:36:33,043
Yes, put it through. I haven't seen
your... Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
678
00:36:34,637 --> 00:36:37,123
F
679
00:36:37,148 --> 00:36:38,173
Uh-huh.
680
00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:43,973
Oh, hi there. Hi, how are you?
I'm good.
681
00:36:43,998 --> 00:36:47,253
Please can I see your boarding pass
and passport?
682
00:36:47,278 --> 00:36:48,562
Erm...
683
00:36:48,587 --> 00:36:50,203
Hello, there sir.
684
00:36:50,228 --> 00:36:53,612
I can't put your luggage on until I
see your passport and boarding pass.
685
00:36:53,637 --> 00:36:55,482
F
686
00:36:55,507 --> 00:36:56,973
F
687
00:36:56,998 --> 00:36:59,612
Hm, I don't think you can.
You can go over.
688
00:36:59,637 --> 00:37:01,333
£
689
00:37:06,278 --> 00:37:07,893
Can you throw that away
for me, please?
690
00:37:07,918 --> 00:37:10,253
Yes, you can't take that onboard.
Yep, I know.
691
00:37:10,278 --> 00:37:12,812
I feel like you're giving me extra
plane security by the way, but...
692
00:37:12,837 --> 00:37:14,253
Why would I do that? I'm just...
693
00:37:14,278 --> 00:37:16,253
You know, I don't I don't know, you
tell me.
694
00:37:16,278 --> 00:37:17,283
Cos of the glasses?
695
00:37:17,308 --> 00:37:18,612
Yeah, cos of the glasses.
696
00:37:18,637 --> 00:37:20,973
SARAH: I mean, I'm presuming
it's in one of these bags.
697
00:37:20,998 --> 00:37:23,692
Well, they're your bags. Yeah, they
are, and I did pack them myself.
698
00:37:23,717 --> 00:37:25,612
Hm.
699
00:37:25,637 --> 00:37:27,093
OK, do you have any liquids on you?
700
00:37:27,118 --> 00:37:29,093
£
701
00:37:29,118 --> 00:37:30,333
Fluids?
702
00:37:30,358 --> 00:37:34,173
Ah, yes, you can't take them on the
plane. No, I'm aware of that.
703
00:37:34,198 --> 00:37:35,612
É
704
00:37:35,637 --> 00:37:36,612
A
705
00:37:38,637 --> 00:37:40,103
Q
706
00:37:40,128 --> 00:37:41,812
Oh, yeah, yeah.
707
00:37:41,837 --> 00:37:44,103
Comical, I get it.
708
00:37:44,128 --> 00:37:45,923
Funny bit. Yeah, funny bit.
709
00:37:45,948 --> 00:37:48,533
Oh, yeah, OK, yeah, yeah. Cool.
710
00:37:48,558 --> 00:37:51,413
I can't let you put your last bag
through until I see your passport.
711
00:37:51,438 --> 00:37:54,692
Yeah. I'm just going to have to stop
the machine.
712
00:37:54,717 --> 00:37:57,003
I do need to see your passport.
713
00:37:57,028 --> 00:38:00,572
Was I meant to have picked up
a passport earlier somewhere?
714
00:38:00,597 --> 00:38:01,572
OK.
715
00:38:05,668 --> 00:38:06,973
I've stopped the clock.
716
00:38:06,998 --> 00:38:09,003
You can, uh, get on the plane.
717
00:38:09,028 --> 00:38:11,362
"Get all your luggage through
security." 50 it's done.
718
00:38:11,387 --> 00:38:14,213
But it's not through security cos I
haven't seen your passport. Oh, OK.
719
00:38:14,238 --> 00:38:15,893
I need to check you are who you say
you are.
720
00:38:15,918 --> 00:38:18,213
But all my luggage is through.
You put it through.
721
00:38:18,238 --> 00:38:20,492
Well, it's not quite through. No...
722
00:38:20,517 --> 00:38:21,463
Please don't.
723
00:38:25,318 --> 00:38:27,643
I think I've done very
well on this task.
724
00:38:27,668 --> 00:38:29,933
Yes. I've stopped the clock.
And we're done.
725
00:38:31,387 --> 00:38:33,183
Yeah, they're through? Yep.
726
00:38:33,208 --> 00:38:35,612
All right, I've stopped
the clock. OK.
727
00:38:35,637 --> 00:38:38,003
Thank you, Jamali. If you
are Jamali.
728
00:38:38,028 --> 00:38:39,742
Have a nice holiday. Yep.
729
00:38:39,767 --> 00:38:40,933
Bye- bye.
730
00:38:40,958 --> 00:38:41,973
APPLAUSE
731
00:38:41,998 --> 00:38:43,413
There we go. Yes, lovely.
732
00:38:45,038 --> 00:38:49,413
To me, tonally, it felt like a
mental competence test
733
00:38:49,438 --> 00:38:51,973
for people who've had their
driving licences taken off of them.
734
00:38:51,998 --> 00:38:54,413
Yeah, it did. I think that's fair,
I think that's fair.
735
00:38:54,438 --> 00:38:56,463
É
736
00:38:56,488 --> 00:38:59,293
LAUGHING
737
00:38:59,318 --> 00:39:02,103
Even The Krypton Factor.
738
00:39:02,128 --> 00:39:04,622
No-one knows that.
739
00:39:04,647 --> 00:39:06,622
I genuinely don't know
740
00:39:06,647 --> 00:39:09,333
what you're talking about.
He doesn't know this show.
741
00:39:09,358 --> 00:39:12,333
I mean, what's really awful is
watching just how slow
742
00:39:12,358 --> 00:39:15,053
my mind works. Well, you cleverly
thought "I could enter the maze
743
00:39:15,078 --> 00:39:17,653
"from a different place," but then
you stayed right at the back
744
00:39:17,678 --> 00:39:19,543
of the maze. You could have entered
right by it
745
00:39:19,568 --> 00:39:21,372
if you were doing that tactic.
Yeah, I know.
746
00:39:21,397 --> 00:39:24,413
I have no defence here. I mean, this
was an appalling piece of footage.
747
00:39:24,438 --> 00:39:27,933
But they did find the liquids. So
that's up to you to judge on Mike.
748
00:39:27,958 --> 00:39:30,263
OK. You took no joy in that
game whatsoever?
749
00:39:30,288 --> 00:39:31,572
No, I enjoyed it. Fun.
750
00:39:31,597 --> 00:39:33,933
Did you? He enjoyed the maze bit
more than anyone.
751
00:39:33,958 --> 00:39:36,293
He sort of saw his way through.
He got there very quickly,
752
00:39:36,318 --> 00:39:38,063
but then he had to search through
every bag twice.
753
00:39:38,088 --> 00:39:40,853
É
754
00:39:40,878 --> 00:39:43,572
F
755
00:39:43,597 --> 00:39:46,063
£
756
00:39:46,088 --> 00:39:48,773
But it didn't say you
couldn't bully your way through.
757
00:39:48,798 --> 00:39:49,853
It didn't say that.
758
00:39:49,878 --> 00:39:52,653
It didn't say you can't juggernaut
your way through security.
759
00:39:52,678 --> 00:39:55,702
You looked absolutely furious to me.
I'd have let you through, as well.
760
00:39:55,727 --> 00:39:58,572
I don't want to set a precedent that
you can bully me and get the points.
761
00:39:58,597 --> 00:40:00,063
No, he can't have the points.
762
00:40:00,088 --> 00:40:02,903
If the passport was part of the
rules, he can't have the points.
763
00:40:02,928 --> 00:40:04,293
Really? Yeah.
764
00:40:04,318 --> 00:40:06,343
I wish I was as brave as you. So, no
points to Jamali
765
00:40:06,368 --> 00:40:08,702
because he didn't present a
passport. There you go.
766
00:40:08,727 --> 00:40:10,622
No points to Mike because he didn't
find the water.
767
00:40:10,647 --> 00:40:13,463
No points to Charlotte cos her bag
touched the barrier. There you go.
768
00:40:13,488 --> 00:40:16,263
So, weirdly, Sarah gets 4 points.
Yeah. That's insane.
769
00:40:16,288 --> 00:40:19,343
And even more insane, Lee gets
5 points for 11 minutes 37.
770
00:40:19,368 --> 00:40:21,213
APPLAUSE
There you go.
771
00:40:21,238 --> 00:40:22,903
F
772
00:40:22,928 --> 00:40:25,463
Quick look at the scores.
Yes, three people on eight points,
773
00:40:25,488 --> 00:40:27,063
so that's Charlotte, Jamali
and Mike.
774
00:40:27,088 --> 00:40:30,293
The outright leader, though,
is on 17, and that's Sarah Kendall.
775
00:40:30,318 --> 00:40:32,733
APPLAUSE
776
00:40:34,118 --> 00:40:36,423
OK, everyone, please make your way
to the stage
777
00:40:36,448 --> 00:40:38,063
for the final task of the show.
778
00:40:41,647 --> 00:40:42,983
What's up? No.
779
00:40:43,008 --> 00:40:44,372
OK, then.
780
00:40:44,397 --> 00:40:45,502
That was awful.
781
00:40:45,527 --> 00:40:46,622
É
782
00:40:46,647 --> 00:40:48,543
I thought it was pretty fresh.
783
00:40:48,568 --> 00:40:50,093
Fresh 28. Fresh 28.
784
00:40:50,118 --> 00:40:53,343
I would like Charlotte Richie to
read it out this time.
785
00:40:53,368 --> 00:40:54,733
OK.
786
00:40:54,758 --> 00:40:58,582
"Act out a nursery rhyme for the
taskmaster to guess.
787
00:40:58,607 --> 00:41:03,063
"Each team has three minutes to act
out their nursery rhymes.
788
00:41:03,088 --> 00:41:06,543
"Most nursery rhymes
guessed by the taskmaster wins.
789
00:41:06,568 --> 00:41:09,783
"You must remain silent
and on your spots throughout."
790
00:41:09,808 --> 00:41:12,223
So it's a team task. The team of two
is going first. Yep.
791
00:41:12,248 --> 00:41:15,223
Good luck with the nursery rhymes.
Good luck understanding them, Greg.
792
00:41:15,248 --> 00:41:17,543
Here we go. Oh, God.
Three minutes starts...
793
00:41:17,568 --> 00:41:18,622
HE BLOWS WHISTLE
794
00:41:22,647 --> 00:41:24,452
Um, Baa Baa Black Sheep.
795
00:41:24,477 --> 00:41:26,223
Correct. OK, next one.
796
00:41:29,808 --> 00:41:32,193
Four, ten... Four, ten...
It is numbers.
797
00:41:32,218 --> 00:41:34,193
Four, twenty.
798
00:41:34,218 --> 00:41:35,553
Four Ancl Twenty Blackbirds.
799
00:41:35,578 --> 00:41:36,983
Correct. Next one.
800
00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:42,263
Oh. Ah.
801
00:41:42,288 --> 00:41:43,372
It's a classic.
802
00:41:43,397 --> 00:41:44,452
Humpty Dumpty?
803
00:41:44,477 --> 00:41:45,452
Correct.
804
00:41:47,368 --> 00:41:49,863
Erm, The Cat... The Owl
And The Pussy-Cat?
805
00:41:49,888 --> 00:41:51,553
The fiddle?
806
00:41:51,578 --> 00:41:52,863
Sounds like fiddle.
807
00:41:52,888 --> 00:41:53,943
Moon.
808
00:41:53,968 --> 00:41:56,343
Fiddle. Yeah, The CowJumped Over
The Moon?
809
00:41:56,368 --> 00:41:57,582
What's it called?
810
00:41:57,607 --> 00:41:59,553
Hey Diddle Diddle. Correct. Yes!
811
00:41:59,578 --> 00:42:00,553
Oh, man!
812
00:42:01,727 --> 00:42:02,733
Fish.
813
00:42:04,838 --> 00:42:06,452
Once I Caught A Fish Alive.
814
00:42:06,477 --> 00:42:07,663
We'll give you it.
815
00:42:08,768 --> 00:42:10,632
They're really good.
816
00:42:11,688 --> 00:42:12,813
Clock And The Cat.
817
00:42:12,838 --> 00:42:14,343
LAUGHING
818
00:42:14,368 --> 00:42:15,382
Hickory Dickory Dock.
819
00:42:15,407 --> 00:42:16,382
Correct.
820
00:42:19,688 --> 00:42:21,303
Blind Anus.
LAUGHING
821
00:42:21,328 --> 00:42:23,193
Not Blind Anus. Three Blind Mice.
Correct.
822
00:42:25,808 --> 00:42:27,452
Teapot. I'm A Little Teapot.
823
00:42:27,477 --> 00:42:28,502
Unlucky there.
824
00:42:28,527 --> 00:42:30,582
Oh, sounds like kettle.
825
00:42:30,607 --> 00:42:32,913
Umbrella. It sounds a lot
like kettle.
826
00:42:32,938 --> 00:42:34,712
Parasol.
827
00:42:34,737 --> 00:42:36,993
They're penalised by my idiocy.
828
00:42:37,018 --> 00:42:38,582
Give me the second word.
829
00:42:38,607 --> 00:42:39,913
Cricket?
830
00:42:39,938 --> 00:42:41,913
Bat?
831
00:42:41,938 --> 00:42:43,023
Golf?
832
00:42:43,048 --> 00:42:44,943
Putt?
833
00:42:44,968 --> 00:42:46,783
Putt! Sorry.
834
00:42:46,808 --> 00:42:49,913
Sorry.
835
00:42:49,938 --> 00:42:52,632
Absolutely fair comment.
836
00:42:52,657 --> 00:42:54,993
So, well done. I'll warn the second
team now,
837
00:42:55,018 --> 00:42:57,303
I don't know any more
nursery rhymes.
838
00:42:57,328 --> 00:42:58,303
Yeah, I'm not sure I do either.
839
00:42:58,328 --> 00:43:00,943
Please rotate until the team
of three are in the miming position.
840
00:43:00,968 --> 00:43:03,303
É
841
00:43:03,328 --> 00:43:05,273
é
842
00:43:05,298 --> 00:43:07,223
You're three minutes start...
843
00:43:07,248 --> 00:43:08,223
HE BLOWS WHISTLE
844
00:43:12,527 --> 00:43:13,382
Sun?
845
00:43:14,458 --> 00:43:15,502
Moon?
846
00:43:17,527 --> 00:43:18,712
Telescope?
847
00:43:18,737 --> 00:43:19,863
LAUGHING
848
00:43:19,888 --> 00:43:20,993
Please be quiet.
849
00:43:23,378 --> 00:43:24,353
Record?
850
00:43:25,407 --> 00:43:27,073
Sounds like drive.
851
00:43:27,098 --> 00:43:28,743
Sounds like car.
852
00:43:28,768 --> 00:43:30,073
I mean, this is unbelievable.
853
00:43:30,098 --> 00:43:31,743
F
854
00:43:31,768 --> 00:43:33,462
é
855
00:43:33,487 --> 00:43:34,462
Erm...
856
00:43:36,178 --> 00:43:37,153
Scar?
857
00:43:38,649 --> 00:43:40,344
And you've said sun and moon.
858
00:43:40,369 --> 00:43:42,144
Sun and... Oh, Sun
And The Moon And The Stars?
859
00:43:42,169 --> 00:43:44,064
Oh, no, but you've got stars now.
860
00:43:44,089 --> 00:43:45,064
Stars...
861
00:43:46,569 --> 00:43:48,503
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!
Correct!
862
00:43:50,569 --> 00:43:51,984
Row Row Row Your Boat.
863
00:43:52,009 --> 00:43:53,014
He's back on it.
864
00:44:03,728 --> 00:44:06,264
Three words. First word.
865
00:44:06,289 --> 00:44:07,373
Ear?
866
00:44:07,398 --> 00:44:08,503
Oh, God! Men!
867
00:44:08,528 --> 00:44:10,094
Listen?
868
00:44:10,119 --> 00:44:12,373
Sounds like.
LAUGHING
869
00:44:14,369 --> 00:44:15,734
Sounds like cut.
870
00:44:15,759 --> 00:44:18,064
É
871
00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:19,583
Sounds like sever.
872
00:44:19,608 --> 00:44:21,344
Hand. Oh, my God.
873
00:44:23,289 --> 00:44:25,534
Drive. Where are these guys going?
874
00:44:25,559 --> 00:44:26,503
Dig.
875
00:44:28,759 --> 00:44:30,373
I don't...
876
00:44:30,398 --> 00:44:31,864
Two people.
877
00:44:31,889 --> 00:44:33,264
And they're going somewhere.
878
00:44:33,289 --> 00:44:34,734
They're going up the stairs.
879
00:44:34,759 --> 00:44:35,984
Jack And Jill Went Up The Hill?
880
00:44:36,009 --> 00:44:37,144
Correct.
881
00:44:40,449 --> 00:44:41,424
30 seconds left.
882
00:44:42,689 --> 00:44:43,814
Are you Christ?
883
00:44:47,249 --> 00:44:49,503
London Bridge Is Falling Down?
Correct.
884
00:44:51,199 --> 00:44:52,424
Kangeroo.
885
00:44:52,449 --> 00:44:53,944
Sounds like kangaroo.
886
00:44:53,969 --> 00:44:55,344
Hop.
WHISTLE BLOWS
887
00:44:55,369 --> 00:44:56,424
I'm sorry, folks.
888
00:44:56,449 --> 00:44:57,914
It was Mary Had A Little Lamb.
889
00:44:57,939 --> 00:45:01,174
F
890
00:45:01,199 --> 00:45:03,503
Come down and we will add
it to the final scores.
891
00:45:03,528 --> 00:45:05,094
APPLAUSE
892
00:45:05,119 --> 00:45:06,944
Very good.
893
00:45:06,969 --> 00:45:09,944
You only managed to guess
four of the team of three.
894
00:45:09,969 --> 00:45:12,274
One every 45 seconds.
895
00:45:12,299 --> 00:45:13,814
Oh, wow.
896
00:45:13,839 --> 00:45:15,703
The team of two, you managed
to guess seven.
897
00:45:15,728 --> 00:45:18,064
First of all, everyone's going to
get points out of this
898
00:45:18,089 --> 00:45:20,424
cos I do think the team of two were
more efficient.
899
00:45:20,449 --> 00:45:22,224
So there has to be a gulf
of sorts. Sure.
900
00:45:22,249 --> 00:45:24,583
OK, so I'm going to give them
five points each,
901
00:45:24,608 --> 00:45:26,914
and I'm going to give the other
team three points each.
902
00:45:26,939 --> 00:45:28,304
Well, well done, Mike and Lee.
903
00:45:28,329 --> 00:45:31,224
Five points.
APPLAUSE
904
00:45:31,249 --> 00:45:33,784
The series scoreboard is hotting up.
905
00:45:33,809 --> 00:45:36,713
Lee and Mike both have 51,
Sarah's in the lead with 55.
906
00:45:36,738 --> 00:45:39,784
In this episode, Charlotte
and Jamali joint last with 11,
907
00:45:39,809 --> 00:45:41,424
Sarah is the winner with 20 points.
908
00:45:41,449 --> 00:45:42,744
Yay! No?
909
00:45:44,379 --> 00:45:45,824
Sarah Kendall wins.
910
00:45:45,849 --> 00:45:49,583
Please go and collect your midsize
shocking prizes.
911
00:45:49,608 --> 00:45:51,074
Thank you, everyone.
912
00:45:53,408 --> 00:45:56,274
So, what have we learnt today?
913
00:45:56,299 --> 00:45:58,664
We've learnt that I don't know many
nursery rhymes,
914
00:45:58,689 --> 00:46:01,383
apart from this new classic.
915
00:46:01,408 --> 00:46:06,274
Jammjaod Snadge is Sarah's friend
and Lee is covered in brine,
916
00:46:06,299 --> 00:46:10,224
Alex's friends are all pretend
and Mike likes bamboo time.
917
00:46:10,249 --> 00:46:12,894
Charlotte says time has
just two hands,
918
00:46:12,919 --> 00:46:14,664
she wishes that it would go faster,
919
00:46:14,689 --> 00:46:18,274
and that leaves Jamali all on his
own, he's never heard of Taskmaster.
920
00:46:18,299 --> 00:46:19,994
We'll see you next time,
921
00:46:20,019 --> 00:46:24,713
but for now let's applaud tonight's
winner one more time, Sarah Kendall!
922
00:46:24,738 --> 00:46:26,994
APPLAUSE