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Boo!
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This programme contains strong
language and adult humour.
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00:00:07,396 --> 00:00:09,220
Taskmaster was recorded
in accordance with
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00:00:09,245 --> 00:00:11,861
all social distancing guidelines
in place at the time of filming.
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Yow! I just need to read that again.
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SHE LAUGHS
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Oh!
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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
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00:00:33,115 --> 00:00:34,451
APPLAUSE CONTINUES
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00:00:34,476 --> 00:00:37,220
Hello, I'm Greg Davies,
welcome to Taskmaster.
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00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:39,581
As we're near the halfway
point of the series,
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00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,371
I'd like to take a moment to
reflect.
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There are those that say Taskmaster
is a show without meaning,
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that five comedians step
into an arena and when they leave,
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they've learnt nothing.
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00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:53,531
They've made fools of themselves on
national television, brought shame
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00:00:53,556 --> 00:00:57,131
to their families and in some cases
caused themselves physical harm.
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00:00:57,156 --> 00:01:00,491
To those that would reduce this
show to a grotesque spectacle
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00:01:00,516 --> 00:01:04,890
watched over by a big fat man
and a hairy sausage I say this,
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00:01:04,915 --> 00:01:07,251
please welcome Charlotte Ritchie...
APPLAUSE
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00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:10,861
...Jamali Maddix...
APPLAUSE
22
00:01:10,886 --> 00:01:12,301
...Lee Mack...
APPLAUSE
23
00:01:12,326 --> 00:01:15,531
Mike Wozniak, and Sarah Kendall.
24
00:01:15,556 --> 00:01:17,381
APPLAUSE
25
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Now, eagerly sizzling in the pan
next to me, statistics
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00:01:20,686 --> 00:01:24,020
are his foreplay ancl spreadsheets
his post-coital cigarette.
27
00:01:24,045 --> 00:01:26,411
It's the little Alex Horne!
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Didn't mind that one.
Nice, eh?
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00:01:31,276 --> 00:01:33,821
It implies I had a bit of fun.
Yes.
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00:01:33,846 --> 00:01:35,741
And also, I have finished maths.
31
00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:37,171
Oh.
32
00:01:37,196 --> 00:01:39,691
OK, we're going back to this one,
are we?
33
00:01:39,716 --> 00:01:42,611
Well, I think we should give it a try
because I learnt all of maths for this.
34
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,581
So, I presume there's
a calculator in this.
35
00:01:44,606 --> 00:01:46,941
Yes, I popped a working
calculator into your drawer.
36
00:01:46,966 --> 00:01:48,461
Right.
37
00:01:48,486 --> 00:01:50,890
I can answer any sum,
I'll pop that down.
38
00:01:50,915 --> 00:01:52,220
Do you wanna pick a sum, Mike?
39
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:55,100
Erm, 13,243.
40
00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:57,411
13,000... One, three, two, four,
three.
41
00:01:57,436 --> 00:01:59,131
One, three, two, four, three.
42
00:01:59,156 --> 00:02:01,491
Yep. One, three, two, four, three.
43
00:02:01,516 --> 00:02:02,941
You are doing plus?
44
00:02:02,966 --> 00:02:04,611
Plus 8,000.
45
00:02:04,636 --> 00:02:06,181
Divide that by 20.
46
00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:07,850
We're adding 8,000, divided by 20.
47
00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:10,541
Just before you give me the answer,
take your earpiece out.
48
00:02:10,566 --> 00:02:12,900
Really? Yeah, we'll give you the
final part of the sum.
49
00:02:12,925 --> 00:02:14,381
É
50
00:02:14,406 --> 00:02:15,821
F
51
00:02:15,846 --> 00:02:18,220
Plus one, 13,644.
52
00:02:18,245 --> 00:02:20,220
No, it is that. Yeah.
53
00:02:21,716 --> 00:02:23,970
Do another. He's got two ears, mate.
54
00:02:23,995 --> 00:02:25,621
Yeah, I've got two earpieces.
55
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,331
I've got two earpieces.
56
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,621
É
57
00:02:28,646 --> 00:02:30,051
I'm impressed with that.
58
00:02:30,076 --> 00:02:33,381
That's genuinely the best thing
you've ever done,
59
00:02:33,406 --> 00:02:35,381
and I don't mean on this show.
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00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:38,491
What's the prize task category
this week, please?
61
00:02:38,516 --> 00:02:40,850
Well, it's quite simply
the Craziest Thing.
62
00:02:40,875 --> 00:02:43,301
You'lljudge whose thing is
the craziest, they'll get five
63
00:02:43,326 --> 00:02:46,131
points, and the overall winner will
take home five crazy things.
64
00:02:46,156 --> 00:02:47,980
It's crazy. Jamali.
65
00:02:48,005 --> 00:02:50,341
It's pretty crazy cos, d'you
know what, yeah?
66
00:02:50,366 --> 00:02:52,691
I feel like you haven't
enjoyed my other prizes.
67
00:02:52,716 --> 00:02:55,691
Correct. 50 I've got a photo of a
baby smoking.
68
00:02:55,716 --> 00:02:58,261
Yeah.
69
00:02:58,286 --> 00:02:59,591
Yeah, I remember that boy.
70
00:02:59,616 --> 00:03:01,980
Yeah, pretty mad, innit?
Yeah.
71
00:03:02,005 --> 00:03:05,701
Yeah,
but he gave up cos he's a quitter.
72
00:03:05,726 --> 00:03:10,341
Yeah, so I thought that was pretty mad, innit?
That is your best prize by some distance.
73
00:03:10,366 --> 00:03:13,381
There you go. It's a happy ending to
that story, by the way.
74
00:03:13,406 --> 00:03:16,020
Smoking's bad, he now thinks
chocolate is better than smoking.
75
00:03:16,045 --> 00:03:17,181
Ahh, good.
76
00:03:17,206 --> 00:03:18,461
Lee, what have you brought in?
77
00:03:18,486 --> 00:03:21,621
Urn, well, I brought in something
that I find particularly crazy
78
00:03:21,646 --> 00:03:24,211
and that is, uh,
a lady's swimming costume.
79
00:03:24,236 --> 00:03:26,020
Not just any lady's swimming
costume,
80
00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:29,381
I'm the kinda person that thinks,
ooh, what's underneath that costume,
81
00:03:29,406 --> 00:03:32,821
and I know you're thinking, hello,
bit of old school sexism there.
82
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,261
Yeah. I mean really underneath
the costume.
83
00:03:35,286 --> 00:03:36,541
Here it is.
84
00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:38,030
Q
85
00:03:38,055 --> 00:03:40,030
It's absolutely disgusting.
Well done.
86
00:03:40,055 --> 00:03:44,100
Thank you. I think it's educational
in a crazy sort of way.
87
00:03:44,125 --> 00:03:47,311
Good. Hello, Charlotte.
What have you brought in?
88
00:03:47,336 --> 00:03:50,341
F
89
00:03:50,366 --> 00:03:53,900
é
90
00:03:53,925 --> 00:03:56,311
What d'you mean?
91
00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:58,671
There've been seven inaugurations
since she's been born.
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00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:01,030
Four presidents.
You've been at four inaugurations?
93
00:04:01,055 --> 00:04:03,391
Wow.
of Charlotte at each of them.
94
00:04:03,416 --> 00:04:06,100
Which are up for grabs,
is that right?
95
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:08,860
So, the first one here, Clinton's
one, you can see her there.
96
00:04:08,885 --> 00:04:13,261
Where? Where? Where? Oh, that little
97
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:17,141
Oh, God, the disappointment's
so crushing that this is fake.
98
00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:20,900
Hang on, I'm confused. Is the story true but
the pictures fake or the whole thing's fake?
99
00:04:20,925 --> 00:04:22,701
F
100
00:04:22,726 --> 00:04:25,591
é
101
00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:28,900
Oh, right. Let's see all four
pictures before we decide whether
102
00:04:28,925 --> 00:04:32,501
this is a fake story. OK. Here's
Charlotte at George W's inauguration.
103
00:04:32,526 --> 00:04:33,701
OK. Yep, there she is.
104
00:04:33,726 --> 00:04:34,860
Yeah, yeah.
105
00:04:34,885 --> 00:04:36,421
I am beginning to think it's true.
106
00:04:36,446 --> 00:04:38,421
OK, we're up to Obama.
107
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,181
There she is. Where, where are you?
108
00:04:40,206 --> 00:04:42,541
There she is. Oh, yeah. Yep, yep,
yep. Oh, yeah!
109
00:04:42,566 --> 00:04:45,541
That's when you went through your
awkward teenage phase...
110
00:04:45,566 --> 00:04:47,980
...when your head was four times
bigger than anyone else's.
111
00:04:48,005 --> 00:04:50,501
And most recently, and you said
this was your favourite,
112
00:04:50,526 --> 00:04:52,980
Donald Trump's inauguration.
113
00:04:53,005 --> 00:04:56,391
That one's quite convincing
apart from the fact that again that
114
00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:58,951
you're giant.
Well, that one actually, is real.
115
00:04:58,976 --> 00:05:00,671
Is it? What a twist!
116
00:05:00,696 --> 00:05:03,030
Nah, it's not real.
117
00:05:03,055 --> 00:05:05,311
Aw!
118
00:05:05,336 --> 00:05:07,621
So, absolutely none of this is true?
119
00:05:07,646 --> 00:05:10,191
But it's beautifully plausible.
Hmm. Like, I believed it.
120
00:05:10,216 --> 00:05:13,391
Yeah, and the fact
that I believed it is crazy.
121
00:05:13,416 --> 00:05:15,671
Ooh. Next up, it's Mike.
122
00:05:15,696 --> 00:05:16,941
Oh, what have you got for us?
123
00:05:16,966 --> 00:05:19,751
So, I am not much of a,
sort of domestic god
124
00:05:19,776 --> 00:05:22,621
and as a housemate,
I'm not too much trouble,
125
00:05:22,646 --> 00:05:27,030
but there's a very specific toilet
based, sort of infraction that
126
00:05:27,055 --> 00:05:29,631
I, I do not understand
for which there is an image.
127
00:05:29,656 --> 00:05:31,701
This is his crazy thing.
128
00:05:31,726 --> 00:05:33,631
Are you saying this is what
makes YOU crazy?
129
00:05:33,656 --> 00:05:37,471
No, I think this choice is crazy.
130
00:05:37,496 --> 00:05:40,501
If you're gonna put it anywhere
you could put it on the floor,
131
00:05:40,526 --> 00:05:42,551
you could take it with you,
put it in your pocket,
132
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:45,671
put it behind, whatever. You've
chosen to put it on, ON the bin.
133
00:05:45,696 --> 00:05:47,990
Yeah. For which,
all you need to do is - pop.
134
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,780
Good. Good? I think it's crazy.
135
00:05:49,805 --> 00:05:51,631
OK. Sarah, crazy?
136
00:05:51,656 --> 00:05:56,191
Crazy. So, I went to a, uh,
a dinner party and my recollection
137
00:05:56,216 --> 00:05:59,351
of the whole evening was incredibly
insane but there was a candle
138
00:05:59,376 --> 00:06:03,141
that they had on the table and the
candle was hundreds of angels'
139
00:06:03,166 --> 00:06:08,141
faces in the wax and then they lit
the candle and as the night steadily
140
00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:11,671
got drunker and drunker and the
evening felt stranger and stranger
141
00:06:11,696 --> 00:06:15,071
there were melting angels' faces
kind of drooping down the candle.
142
00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:18,551
Here are the melting angel faces.
They're horrible.
143
00:06:18,576 --> 00:06:21,221
Frightening. It was like we'd
angered the gods or something.
144
00:06:21,246 --> 00:06:23,941
I don't know what you're
offering up as crazy here,
145
00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,271
melty angels or the collective
experience?
146
00:06:26,296 --> 00:06:27,831
The collective experience.
147
00:06:27,856 --> 00:06:29,551
Now's the time to judge, Greg.
148
00:06:29,576 --> 00:06:31,910
Melted crazy faces,
toilet situation.
149
00:06:31,935 --> 00:06:34,431
I didn't, I didn't find Lee's
costume particularly crazy
150
00:06:34,456 --> 00:06:36,860
and I'm gonna give it one point.
OK, so it's one point to Lee.
151
00:06:36,885 --> 00:06:39,910
I'm gonna give, I'm gonna jump to
three points cos I think there's
152
00:06:39,935 --> 00:06:42,321
some proper crazy goes on from that
point onwards.
153
00:06:42,346 --> 00:06:43,471
Three points to...
154
00:06:43,496 --> 00:06:45,351
To the smoking baby.
155
00:06:45,376 --> 00:06:48,071
A joint four points.
Ooh!
156
00:06:48,096 --> 00:06:52,471
To Charlotte and to Wozniak, but
I think I'm being very generous
157
00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:55,990
here because I think I'm giving him
crazy points because he's crazy.
158
00:06:56,015 --> 00:06:58,071
Yes,
he did just put something on a bin.
159
00:06:58,096 --> 00:07:01,401
Ancl five points, I mean, no-one's gonna
beat that, I mean, it's absolute madness.
160
00:07:01,426 --> 00:07:04,151
Melted angel faces. Sarah Kendall
takes the big five.
161
00:07:04,176 --> 00:07:06,471
Well done, Sarah Kendall,
five points.
162
00:07:06,496 --> 00:07:08,431
Let's move on. Task, please.
163
00:07:08,456 --> 00:07:11,761
Yes, we start today's show with
some banana drama.
164
00:07:26,256 --> 00:07:27,511
Hello, Alex.
165
00:07:27,536 --> 00:07:29,271
What's in the mug?
166
00:07:29,296 --> 00:07:31,231
É
167
00:07:31,256 --> 00:07:33,040
No, I like it.
Yeah.
168
00:07:33,065 --> 00:07:34,941
Shall I just, uh, crack away?
169
00:07:34,966 --> 00:07:37,271
Yes, please. Please crack away.
170
00:07:37,296 --> 00:07:40,151
Right, I'm looking at a frozen
banana.
171
00:07:40,176 --> 00:07:42,631
Am I allowed to touch these things,
Alex?
172
00:07:42,656 --> 00:07:44,990
All the information's in the task,
Lee.
173
00:07:45,015 --> 00:07:46,990
Can I take this off?
I can't hear a thing you're saying.
174
00:07:47,015 --> 00:07:49,551
É
175
00:07:49,576 --> 00:07:51,481
Oh, it's cold.
176
00:07:51,506 --> 00:07:53,910
"You may not break the bottle."
177
00:07:53,935 --> 00:07:57,201
"The bottle may not leave the lab.
Fastest wins."
178
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,951
é
179
00:07:59,976 --> 00:08:02,681
It's the old, uh, frozen banana in
the bottle - classic.
180
00:08:02,706 --> 00:08:05,351
Yeah. It's like a ship in a bottle
but a banana instead of a ship
181
00:08:05,376 --> 00:08:07,761
and it's not often you can use
a banana instead of a ship.
182
00:08:07,786 --> 00:08:09,561
Good. Let's play on.
183
00:08:09,586 --> 00:08:12,591
Ooh, OK.
Well, first it's Jamali and Lee.
184
00:08:12,616 --> 00:08:14,561
Ahh.
185
00:08:14,586 --> 00:08:20,311
Right, OK, it's got a number on it,
so I have to find the code, don't I?
186
00:08:20,336 --> 00:08:22,761
You've gotta get the banana in the
bottle. Oh, hello,
187
00:08:22,786 --> 00:08:25,120
there's a code at the bottom.
It says 201.
188
00:08:25,145 --> 00:08:28,151
Hello.
Urgh, it's disgusting this stuff.
189
00:08:28,176 --> 00:08:29,790
Oh, it came off.
190
00:08:29,815 --> 00:08:30,870
Bingo.
191
00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:38,591
É
192
00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:40,920
Oh, hang on,
there's something in the bottle.
193
00:08:40,945 --> 00:08:42,311
Oh, no. Oh, for the love of God.
194
00:08:42,336 --> 00:08:44,670
I mean, I'm tempted to just pour
it all over the floor,
195
00:08:44,695 --> 00:08:46,481
but I have got some dignity,
unlike the other people,
196
00:08:46,506 --> 00:08:48,790
the young people who'll throw
it all over the floor.
197
00:08:48,815 --> 00:08:50,000
OK.
198
00:08:50,025 --> 00:08:50,841
F
199
00:08:53,386 --> 00:08:54,790
é
200
00:08:54,815 --> 00:08:56,000
HE LAUGHS
201
00:08:56,025 --> 00:08:57,361
é
202
00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:59,711
Ah, all the information's
in the task there, Jamali.
203
00:08:59,736 --> 00:09:01,151
É
204
00:09:01,176 --> 00:09:03,761
F
205
00:09:03,786 --> 00:09:06,511
Ahh, there we go.
It might be that my b... Ah!
206
00:09:06,536 --> 00:09:08,790
Oh, it's jelly, I think.
207
00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:10,761
Did you microwave the banana?
208
00:09:10,786 --> 00:09:12,120
How long for?
209
00:09:12,145 --> 00:09:13,790
É
210
00:09:15,256 --> 00:09:16,431
AUDIENCE GROANS
211
00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:17,790
This is horrible.
212
00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:20,401
I think if you heat jelly up it
liquefies, doesn't it?
213
00:09:20,426 --> 00:09:22,151
SQUELCHING
214
00:09:22,176 --> 00:09:24,511
é
215
00:09:24,536 --> 00:09:26,081
Well, we've got a Hoover.
216
00:09:26,106 --> 00:09:28,441
Can we get you a Hoover?
OK.
217
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,231
Right. Now, watch.
218
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,641
I think I've just demonstrated
lateral thinking there.
219
00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:38,591
HOOVER WHIRS
220
00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:40,201
LAUGHTER
221
00:09:41,586 --> 00:09:43,361
é
222
00:09:43,386 --> 00:09:46,201
An industrial Hoover? We don't
have an industrial Hoover, no.
223
00:09:46,226 --> 00:09:49,511
Get the banana defrosted,
get all of that in there.
224
00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:55,870
F
225
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,161
Right, that's the jelly out.
226
00:09:57,186 --> 00:09:58,411
Great.
227
00:09:58,436 --> 00:10:01,231
All of the banana,
that's gotta be the skin, right?
228
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:06,201
AUDIENCE GROANS
229
00:10:06,226 --> 00:10:08,081
F
230
00:10:08,106 --> 00:10:09,920
The bottle's full.
HE LAUGHS
231
00:10:09,945 --> 00:10:12,880
I'm doing everything in my powers
not to masticate it,
232
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,800
but at the moment it's
looking like it might have to be.
233
00:10:15,825 --> 00:10:17,411
AUDIENCE GROANS
234
00:10:17,436 --> 00:10:19,721
Hot or cold? It's confusing.
235
00:10:19,746 --> 00:10:22,311
Free... Boiling on the outside,
freezing in the middle.
236
00:10:22,336 --> 00:10:24,726
I'm very... Actually,
it's quite nice.
237
00:10:24,751 --> 00:10:27,015
É
238
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,375
What's in your hand?
239
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,904
Oh, right.
240
00:10:31,929 --> 00:10:34,375
F
241
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,225
é
242
00:10:37,250 --> 00:10:38,705
£
243
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:41,265
F
244
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:42,585
F
245
00:10:42,610 --> 00:10:43,984
OK.
246
00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:45,185
SHOCKED LAUGHTER
247
00:10:45,210 --> 00:10:47,505
What are you doing, Lee?
Sharpening the end.
248
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,784
AUDIENCE GROANS
249
00:10:49,809 --> 00:10:51,705
é
250
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,904
Q
251
00:10:55,929 --> 00:10:57,505
Stop the clock. Ah!
252
00:10:57,530 --> 00:10:59,345
HE LAUGHS
253
00:10:59,370 --> 00:11:01,265
Stop it?
254
00:11:01,290 --> 00:11:02,945
Yep. OK. There we go.
255
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:09,654
I love that you correctly predicted
the poor behaviour of the youth.
256
00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:13,345
I knew it. I knew it. Just no consideration,
just all over the floor and I was making a...
257
00:11:13,370 --> 00:11:15,705
é
258
00:11:15,730 --> 00:11:18,225
é
259
00:11:18,250 --> 00:11:19,475
And then spat it into the thing,
yeah.
260
00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,585
It was a lovely metaphor for the
difference between two age groups as
261
00:11:22,610 --> 00:11:25,864
well in that you thought, I'm gonna
melt this jelly and it'll logically
262
00:11:25,889 --> 00:11:30,945
fall out of the bottle, whereas you
asked for a Hoover to suck it out.
263
00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:34,025
Yeah, I didn't, it was only later
on I realised that if you add
264
00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:37,275
water to it that it obviously fills
up with air and pushes it out
265
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,984
but I, yeah, I just thought
I could hoover it out or something.
266
00:11:40,009 --> 00:11:42,025
It's the folly of youth.
Yeah, yeah.
267
00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:43,835
Have you got some fascinating
statistics?
268
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:46,705
Lee said the futility levels on
this show are beyond the realm
269
00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:49,065
and scored 11 minutes
and 13 seconds.
270
00:11:49,090 --> 00:11:52,195
All right. And to put that into
context, Jamali,
271
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:55,305
after getting a blender, a Hoover, a
spoon, a funnel, towel, pumps,
272
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:56,635
23 minutes and 19 seconds.
273
00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:59,025
Ahh. More than twice.
274
00:11:59,050 --> 00:12:01,994
Lovely to see the older
generation winning the day.
275
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,784
Yeah. Cos something we know about
is mashing up our food.
276
00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:07,945
Having a lovely banana
snack as well.
277
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:10,275
OK, it's the end of part one,
278
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:13,864
your task at home is to go to
the fridge, take in about 1,500
279
00:12:13,889 --> 00:12:16,945
calories and then come back
full of regret and vulnerable.
280
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,635
See you after the break.
281
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:19,945
CHEERING
282
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:28,614
Hello! Welcome back to part two
of tonight's show.
283
00:12:28,639 --> 00:12:31,174
Before the break, there was
a banana task under way.
284
00:12:31,199 --> 00:12:34,564
They were trying to get a frozen
banana into a bottle packed full of jelly.
285
00:12:34,589 --> 00:12:37,013
All of our parents are going to be
so proud.
286
00:12:37,038 --> 00:12:40,973
Now, who is the man behind the
moustache? It's Mike Wozniak.
287
00:12:40,998 --> 00:12:44,374
So, here is Mike Wozniak's
banana bash.
288
00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:46,893
So that's... What is that?
Vaseline or something?
289
00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:48,204
I think it's Vaseline.
290
00:12:48,229 --> 00:12:49,973
HE LAUGHS
OK.
291
00:12:49,998 --> 00:12:51,973
Uh, OK.
292
00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:55,763
Um, right, so this is frozen.
293
00:12:55,788 --> 00:12:58,254
OK, that's unexpected.
294
00:12:58,279 --> 00:13:01,013
Uh, the bottle may not leave
the lab, but I might leave the lab.
295
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:05,614
Back in a tick. OK.
296
00:13:05,639 --> 00:13:09,893
BLEEPING
297
00:13:11,998 --> 00:13:14,814
OK. Right, I'm going to start, see
if I can,
298
00:13:14,839 --> 00:13:18,694
sort of very slow to, uh, actually
299
00:13:18,719 --> 00:13:22,614
go in the actual bottle which is
full of stuff.
300
00:13:22,639 --> 00:13:25,694
Right, there we go, a twist,
but full of what?
301
00:13:25,719 --> 00:13:26,893
That's the question.
302
00:13:26,918 --> 00:13:28,484
Right, I've made a pig's
ear of this.
303
00:13:28,509 --> 00:13:31,564
Right, OK, I'm going to try
and empty the bottle.
304
00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:35,204
Back in a mo. Jelly.
305
00:13:35,229 --> 00:13:36,893
It's full of jelly.
306
00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:41,204
What dissolves jelly?
Come on you cheeky scamp.
307
00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,853
Hello, Mike. Hello.
308
00:13:48,878 --> 00:13:51,773
Look at that,
that's going in beautifully.
309
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:56,643
Gentle pummelling action on the old
banana udder's working very nicely.
310
00:13:56,668 --> 00:13:58,564
Skin time.
311
00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:01,643
Do you want me to ask you what time it is?
Uh, you can ask me what time... What, what...
312
00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:03,494
Well, I thought
you might then say, "Skin time."
313
00:14:03,519 --> 00:14:06,103
Oh, skin time. Thank you.
I didn't... Oh, right, OK.
314
00:14:06,128 --> 00:14:08,464
I've never... I've not come across
skin time before.
315
00:14:08,489 --> 00:14:10,824
You did say skin time.
Did I say skin time? Yes.
316
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,134
Oh, right, OK.
What time is it, Mike?
317
00:14:12,159 --> 00:14:14,054
It's skin time. Thank you.
318
00:14:14,079 --> 00:14:15,924
Skin time is the right time.
319
00:14:15,949 --> 00:14:18,643
Don't mind a bit of finger in there,
do you?
320
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,893
Done. I've stopped the clock.
Thank you.
321
00:14:23,918 --> 00:14:26,254
APPLAUSE
322
00:14:26,279 --> 00:14:27,694
Well, Wozniak...
323
00:14:27,719 --> 00:14:30,214
...if you had to choose one
of the catchphrases that have got
324
00:14:30,239 --> 00:14:33,134
the nation talking would it be
"bamboo time" or "skin time"?
325
00:14:33,159 --> 00:14:35,824
I think skin time feels... Because
skin time's the right time, am I right?
326
00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:38,184
Skin time is the right time,
but it feels a bit blue to me, so
327
00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:40,773
I think, uh, bamboo time's probably
got a bit more universal appeal.
328
00:14:40,798 --> 00:14:43,134
It feels like there's an elephant in
the room. Yeah, I know.
329
00:14:43,159 --> 00:14:44,903
Well, I know what the
elephant in the room is
330
00:14:44,928 --> 00:14:46,334
and it crushed my spirit
seeing that.
331
00:14:46,359 --> 00:14:48,694
It's like you're doing an operation
and just, uh,
332
00:14:48,719 --> 00:14:50,254
whipping out the wrong organ.
Heart-breaking.
333
00:14:50,279 --> 00:14:52,614
Just leaping out the window with it,
yeah. Yeah.
334
00:14:52,639 --> 00:14:54,574
Yes, you did, it left the room,
which is a shame
335
00:14:54,599 --> 00:14:56,184
because he got through
everything else.
336
00:14:56,209 --> 00:14:58,544
He was the quickest -
ten minutes, 36 seconds.
337
00:14:58,569 --> 00:15:00,294
But it's a lot easier if you leave
the room with the bottle.
338
00:15:00,319 --> 00:15:02,624
Skin time is the wrong time.
339
00:15:02,649 --> 00:15:06,694
But what you saw there was a man who
thought it was jelly o'clock
340
00:15:06,719 --> 00:15:11,694
and tick-tock, he should've stopped
and checked his watch. Right.
341
00:15:11,719 --> 00:15:14,574
And seen that in fact,
it was stay-in-the-room time.
342
00:15:14,599 --> 00:15:16,853
Unlucky, loser. What's next?
343
00:15:16,878 --> 00:15:19,264
Finally, it's Charlotte and Sarah.
344
00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:23,694
É
345
00:15:23,719 --> 00:15:26,624
OK, are you going to
do all the numbers? Hm.
346
00:15:26,649 --> 00:15:29,014
É
347
00:15:29,039 --> 00:15:30,374
F
348
00:15:32,369 --> 00:15:33,903
"The bottle may not leave the lab."
349
00:15:33,928 --> 00:15:34,934
But I can leave the lab.
350
00:15:34,959 --> 00:15:36,934
I can leave the lab? OK, all right.
351
00:15:36,959 --> 00:15:38,544
Q
352
00:15:38,569 --> 00:15:39,824
é
353
00:15:41,519 --> 00:15:46,317
What's the problem?
354
00:15:46,342 --> 00:15:49,175
Ah.
355
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:50,894
F
356
00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:52,644
How long are you microwaving it for?
357
00:15:52,669 --> 00:15:54,094
Two, two minutes.
358
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,485
Oh, it's frozen.
359
00:15:55,510 --> 00:15:56,735
I've got it on high.
360
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:59,094
F
361
00:15:59,119 --> 00:16:01,615
Ahh. Urgh.
362
00:16:02,950 --> 00:16:05,285
Q
363
00:16:05,310 --> 00:16:08,055
Oh, yeah.
364
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,695
LAUGHTER
Ah, it's hot.
365
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,285
It's so hot and yet so cold.
366
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,644
Ow! No.
367
00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,844
Oh, shit, that's...
That's not going to work.
368
00:16:19,869 --> 00:16:23,094
I now have to remove the banana
that's already in there.
369
00:16:23,119 --> 00:16:26,894
É
370
00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,565
Something's shifting.
371
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,365
LIQUID SLOPS IN BOTTLE
372
00:16:33,390 --> 00:16:37,745
I'm doing something wrong,
but I'm going to stick with it.
373
00:16:37,770 --> 00:16:38,455
Q
374
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,925
Oh, I think
we've made enough space now.
375
00:16:41,950 --> 00:16:43,615
OK. All right.
376
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,005
Just look away, guys.
377
00:16:46,030 --> 00:16:49,365
Fucking, come on. Yeah,
yeah, it's in.
378
00:16:49,390 --> 00:16:53,455
And I seem to be masturbating
a highly lubricated bottle but,
379
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,724
kind of, trying to shove
banana into the eye of its penis.
380
00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,974
OK?
381
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:04,565
É
382
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:08,215
Yeah, there we go and then
we use the that's what we do.
383
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,825
É
384
00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:11,615
Then there won't be any
banana left I suppose.
385
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,215
É
386
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,415
Q
387
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,894
F
388
00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:20,854
F
389
00:17:20,879 --> 00:17:23,535
OK, there, I think I'm finished.
OK, I've stopped the clock.
390
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,535
É
391
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:26,825
I've stopped the clock.
392
00:17:26,850 --> 00:17:30,335
APPLAUSE
393
00:17:30,360 --> 00:17:34,055
Are you under the impression that if you put
something in the bin it doesn't exist any more?
394
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,974
I wrote down a quote.
395
00:17:35,999 --> 00:17:38,935
Cos I don't think that you'll ever
say this again in life,
396
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,335
"What's happened here is
I haven't displaced enough jelly."
397
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,935
F
398
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,055
Sarah, once you'd said,
"What I'm doing here is,
399
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:48,935
"I'm ramming a banana
into the end of a penis,"
400
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,255
I didn't hear any other words you
said cos all I could see is that...
401
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:52,545
Huh, really? ..awful image.
402
00:17:52,570 --> 00:17:54,854
Oh, I really enjoyed,
"Something's shifting."
403
00:17:54,879 --> 00:17:56,335
I don't remember being...
404
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,654
"Something is shifting!"
405
00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:00,575
Do you want me to give you some
time, Greg? I do, yeah.
406
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,904
OK, well, uh,
Mike is disqualified cos he.
407
00:18:03,929 --> 00:18:06,904
Tragic. Cos of the elephant in the room. He
took the elephant out of the room, as you know.
408
00:18:06,929 --> 00:18:10,335
Yeah.
Charlotte stopped at 23 minutes, 22.
409
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,295
Three seconds after Jamali's time.
OK.
410
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,974
So she's either second last or
disqualified
411
00:18:13,999 --> 00:18:15,774
cos she didn't get all
the banana in the bottle.
412
00:18:15,799 --> 00:18:17,575
Yeah, yeah, give her a point.
Why not?
413
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,375
She made it disappear with
her magic bin.
414
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:21,215
Charlotte, you get one point.
415
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,734
Jamali's definitely in third
with 23 minutes, 19.
416
00:18:23,759 --> 00:18:26,015
We know that Lee got 11 minutes, 13.
417
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,935
Sarah, eight minutes, 49.
418
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,825
Acht minuten.
419
00:18:29,850 --> 00:18:32,375
So, she definitely gets
the five points.
420
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,984
APPLAUSE
421
00:18:34,009 --> 00:18:35,345
Scoreboard, please.
422
00:18:35,370 --> 00:18:37,654
Mike is in last place with 4,
423
00:18:37,679 --> 00:18:40,904
our series leader Sarah is leading
the episode too with 10 points.
424
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,575
Mm-hmm. Das ist gut.
425
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,935
One more task, please.
426
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:52,465
OK, matey boy, it's team time and,
as a little nod to how you put me
427
00:18:52,490 --> 00:18:54,415
to bed each night,
428
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,705
they've been shackled in chains with
bells attached to them.
429
00:18:57,730 --> 00:18:58,705
Here we go.
430
00:19:10,570 --> 00:19:14,065
I think me and you are probably
the least appropriate
431
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:15,705
dressed for the hottest
day of the year.
432
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:17,705
Please mount your podiums.
Thank you.
433
00:19:17,730 --> 00:19:19,734
Hello, team. Hey.
434
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:23,345
Please stand on a box
and, when you're on your box, please
435
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,015
put on your little gloves
and your belt.
436
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:27,265
Thank you.
437
00:19:27,290 --> 00:19:28,295
É
438
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,455
Yes, please.
439
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:37,935
"Put the bag of salt on that
table over there."
440
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,625
Ah.
I assume so.
441
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:46,375
"No-one may move
while holding the bag of salt."
442
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,864
"If the bag of salt touches the ground at any
point you must return to your starting point."
443
00:19:50,889 --> 00:19:55,375
"If any bell touches the ground at any point
you must return to your starting point."
444
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,545
Bell.
445
00:19:57,759 --> 00:20:00,575
"You may not touch the rope
or your belts.
446
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,345
" Fastest wins."
447
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:04,654
"Your time starts now."
448
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,904
Looks like a fun game.
I do it with my children.
449
00:20:08,929 --> 00:20:10,065
All makes sense to me. Mm-hmm.
450
00:20:10,090 --> 00:20:14,455
I've not got much to say, other than
the sight of Lee and Mike just
451
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:19,654
reminded me of a nurse bringing her
delusional patient across a field.
452
00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,065
Shall we start with them?
Yes, please.
453
00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:24,455
They've got an average
age of 46.5 with Lee doing
454
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,145
most of the heavy lifting there.
455
00:20:27,170 --> 00:20:29,455
It's Mike and Lee.
456
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,984
Uh, so no-one may move
while holding the bag of salt.
457
00:20:32,009 --> 00:20:35,375
Well, can we maybe use the... Uh, what
about using the, the sheet to wrap the...?
458
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:39,015
Cos then we're not physically holding the bag
of salt, we're holding the sheet bagged up.
459
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,225
É
460
00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:42,095
I wonder, if we clear off the stuff,
461
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,065
the idea is to wrap the thing up,
so it becomes a bag,
462
00:20:44,090 --> 00:20:45,914
so we're not
actually holding the bag of salt.
463
00:20:45,939 --> 00:20:48,585
Yeah, but they
wouldn't...
464
00:20:48,610 --> 00:20:51,265
Oh, yeah, exactly, yeah.
465
00:20:51,290 --> 00:20:54,095
One person's doing all the work,
the other guy's just stretching the belt.
466
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,784
É
467
00:20:57,250 --> 00:21:00,664
é
468
00:21:00,689 --> 00:21:03,705
Right.
Yeah?
469
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:07,425
É
470
00:21:07,450 --> 00:21:10,734
Yep.
471
00:21:10,759 --> 00:21:13,754
F
472
00:21:13,779 --> 00:21:16,744
é
473
00:21:16,769 --> 00:21:19,555
é
474
00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:22,784
With you completely but we're not in
Mack world, we're in Taskmaster world.
475
00:21:22,809 --> 00:21:23,914
Q
476
00:21:23,939 --> 00:21:25,914
F
477
00:21:25,939 --> 00:21:29,225
Want us to get a little bit closer?
478
00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:32,305
F
479
00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:40,555
Ooh!
480
00:21:40,580 --> 00:21:42,385
F
481
00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:45,945
Everything's fine.
482
00:21:46,970 --> 00:21:49,275
I've sort of
twizzled.
483
00:21:49,300 --> 00:21:51,744
OK.
484
00:21:51,769 --> 00:21:54,105
Yep.
485
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,585
I've stopped the clock. Sweet.
Do you think you completed the task?
486
00:22:01,610 --> 00:22:04,635
HE LAUGHS I don't really
remember what the task said.
487
00:22:04,660 --> 00:22:06,994
I enjoyed myself.
Are you a bit dirty now, Mike?
488
00:22:07,019 --> 00:22:08,864
I'm salty.
I don't think that's the same thing.
489
00:22:08,889 --> 00:22:11,275
Are you now?
490
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:13,105
OK, well you can, uh,
remove the belt.
491
00:22:13,130 --> 00:22:16,635
APPLAUSE
492
00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:20,105
You, specifically, looked like you were having the
time of your life there. I was having a lovely time.
493
00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:23,465
You looked like a provincial
vicar tied to Lee Mack,
494
00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:25,825
trotting across a field without
a care in the world.
495
00:22:25,850 --> 00:22:28,585
It brought me
back to my old morris dancing days.
496
00:22:28,610 --> 00:22:29,914
This is just...
497
00:22:29,939 --> 00:22:32,744
Just good clean fun
on a summer's day...
498
00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:35,185
I don't doubt you have
morris danced in your life.
499
00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:38,105
...breeze in my hair,
and a bag of salt to play with.
500
00:22:38,130 --> 00:22:39,744
Yeah. What more can a boy ask for?
501
00:22:39,769 --> 00:22:42,635
There was some real
insight into the Mack family there.
502
00:22:42,660 --> 00:22:45,864
Does she quiz you about the contents
of the shopping bags?
503
00:22:45,889 --> 00:22:48,435
F
504
00:22:48,460 --> 00:22:50,515
é
505
00:22:50,540 --> 00:22:54,945
é
506
00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:58,025
Well, look, they told me to stop
the clock at four minutes, 42. Yep.
507
00:22:58,050 --> 00:23:00,635
I thought we were pretty slick.
Goodbye, part two.
508
00:23:00,660 --> 00:23:03,275
We're finished. We tried to make it
work, but it didn't.
509
00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:05,025
It's no-one's fault. I think
we just need space.
510
00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:07,305
It's hard enough as it is. Just go!
511
00:23:07,330 --> 00:23:10,465
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
512
00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:18,324
APPLAUSE
513
00:23:18,349 --> 00:23:20,164
Hello, welcome back to
Taskmaster.
514
00:23:20,189 --> 00:23:23,964
Give me a recap please, Alex,
in the form of a performance poem.
515
00:23:23,989 --> 00:23:26,321
OK, are you going to lay down
a beat?
516
00:23:26,346 --> 00:23:28,169
Sure, man. Here we go.
517
00:23:28,194 --> 00:23:30,499
GREG BEATBOXES
518
00:23:30,524 --> 00:23:33,019
The task before the break
involved passing salt.
519
00:23:33,044 --> 00:23:35,658
Mike and Lee passed the salt.
520
00:23:35,683 --> 00:23:37,969
Next, it's time
for the team of three
521
00:23:37,994 --> 00:23:40,528
and that is the recap poem by me.
522
00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:44,219
Rubbish.
APPLAUSE
523
00:23:44,244 --> 00:23:47,059
F
524
00:23:47,084 --> 00:23:49,379
Yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah.
Or we could swivel round.
525
00:23:49,404 --> 00:23:50,419
OK. What?
526
00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:53,858
BOTH: OK.
527
00:23:53,883 --> 00:23:56,579
Yeah, amazing. And then we're going
to throw it to each other?
528
00:23:56,604 --> 00:23:58,819
All right.
529
00:23:59,883 --> 00:24:03,219
OK, who do I throw it to now, Sarah?
At me.
530
00:24:03,244 --> 00:24:05,099
And then... Don't step.
531
00:24:05,124 --> 00:24:07,429
%
532
00:24:07,454 --> 00:24:10,499
So you can't move when you're...
When you're holding the salt.
533
00:24:10,524 --> 00:24:12,889
OK, ready?
Yeah.
534
00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:15,939
All right.
535
00:24:15,964 --> 00:24:18,019
Oh, yeah, great. OK.
536
00:24:18,044 --> 00:24:20,349
You can't step.
537
00:24:20,374 --> 00:24:21,939
Oh, OK. Yeah.
538
00:24:21,964 --> 00:24:23,069
OK.
539
00:24:23,094 --> 00:24:24,299
Come on, guys.
540
00:24:24,324 --> 00:24:26,299
Let's get a bit of hustle. OK.
541
00:24:29,244 --> 00:24:31,099
Q
542
00:24:31,124 --> 00:24:32,709
OK.
543
00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:36,939
All right.
544
00:24:43,604 --> 00:24:45,219
Oh, we've got problems.
545
00:24:47,763 --> 00:24:50,299
Agh! OK.
546
00:24:50,324 --> 00:24:52,658
É
547
00:24:52,683 --> 00:24:55,459
Salt? Oh, guys, guys, guys, it
says...
548
00:24:55,484 --> 00:24:57,219
This is sugar, it's not salt.
549
00:24:58,844 --> 00:25:01,149
So, let's...
Go round
550
00:25:01,174 --> 00:25:03,099
this way. Careful, careful.
551
00:25:05,813 --> 00:25:07,709
OK.
552
00:25:07,734 --> 00:25:09,658
F
553
00:25:09,683 --> 00:25:12,868
Yeah.
554
00:25:12,893 --> 00:25:15,229
Also, I just touched the...
I just touched the rope.
555
00:25:15,254 --> 00:25:17,589
The bells touched the ground.
Sorry, you've got to start again.
556
00:25:17,614 --> 00:25:19,868
Yeah. God's sake.
557
00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:21,658
OK?
558
00:25:21,683 --> 00:25:24,819
Yeah, we better start.
Yeah, OK. Yeah. OK.
559
00:25:24,844 --> 00:25:27,179
Keep going. Go!
560
00:25:27,204 --> 00:25:30,509
É
561
00:25:30,534 --> 00:25:32,738
OK. OK.
562
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:38,229
Yeah, you got it.
563
00:25:38,254 --> 00:25:39,229
Just...
564
00:25:41,974 --> 00:25:44,259
I've stopped the clock.
565
00:25:44,284 --> 00:25:46,738
Well, there's some salt in a bag
on the table I suppose.
566
00:25:46,763 --> 00:25:48,509
APPLAUSE
567
00:25:48,534 --> 00:25:50,868
é
568
00:25:50,893 --> 00:25:53,868
Watching yours,
knowing that you didn't know gave me
569
00:25:53,893 --> 00:25:57,668
an insight into how you feel all
the time and it felt incredible.
570
00:25:57,693 --> 00:26:00,069
Did it feel good? Smug.
571
00:26:00,094 --> 00:26:02,738
F
572
00:26:02,763 --> 00:26:05,099
It was really enjoyable knowing
that you messed up!
573
00:26:05,124 --> 00:26:07,868
And then just watching it and watch
him be like, yeah, yeah!
574
00:26:07,893 --> 00:26:10,339
And, you know what,
575
00:26:10,364 --> 00:26:13,229
he didn't say nothing, but he gave
a little eye to Mike, just went
576
00:26:13,254 --> 00:26:15,179
like that and that was just...
577
00:26:15,204 --> 00:26:17,699
é
578
00:26:17,724 --> 00:26:21,099
"This
tastes sweet."
579
00:26:25,693 --> 00:26:28,029
F
580
00:26:28,054 --> 00:26:30,409
F
581
00:26:30,434 --> 00:26:33,979
When Sarah's dramatic revelation -
which I think we should watch, cos
582
00:26:34,004 --> 00:26:36,339
I thought it was worthy of a movie
role, this.
583
00:26:36,364 --> 00:26:38,589
OK, this is the dramatic moment.
584
00:26:39,813 --> 00:26:41,229
Agh.
585
00:26:44,254 --> 00:26:47,069
Oh, guys, guys, guys.
This is sugar, it's not salt.
586
00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:51,949
Yeah! Genuinely. Wow.
That's a proper thriller.
587
00:26:51,974 --> 00:26:54,589
É
588
00:26:54,614 --> 00:26:57,509
One fact.
589
00:26:57,534 --> 00:27:00,319
But what you can't take away from me
590
00:27:00,344 --> 00:27:03,959
is that I had an absolutely
lovely day.
591
00:27:03,984 --> 00:27:07,419
Well, very exciting and catastrophic
for these two clowns.
592
00:27:07,444 --> 00:27:09,959
It's up to you how many points
you want to give the team of two.
593
00:27:09,984 --> 00:27:13,209
Can't give them anything. No. Didn't put
salt on the table. And the team of three?
594
00:27:13,234 --> 00:27:15,009
Five points each. It's a big day for
them.
595
00:27:15,034 --> 00:27:17,009
Five points to the team of three.
596
00:27:17,034 --> 00:27:20,009
APPLAUSE
597
00:27:20,034 --> 00:27:22,319
Very good.
Let's go, what's next?
598
00:27:22,344 --> 00:27:23,648
Loo roll! Uh-oh.
599
00:27:39,064 --> 00:27:41,778
Got to look for the, er,
look for the task?
600
00:27:41,803 --> 00:27:44,089
Yes, please. OK. Um...
601
00:27:45,274 --> 00:27:47,728
é
602
00:27:47,753 --> 00:27:50,089
All right. I'm good. You?
Your goggles.
603
00:27:50,114 --> 00:27:52,679
Ooh, sorry, can I do that again?
You can do it again.
604
00:27:52,704 --> 00:27:57,679
Sorry.
605
00:27:57,704 --> 00:28:00,858
Only this sheet of loo roll may
touch the ground.
606
00:28:00,883 --> 00:28:04,289
É
607
00:28:04,314 --> 00:28:08,648
And the loo roll inner tube must
stay on the loo roll
608
00:28:08,673 --> 00:28:10,449
holder at all times.
609
00:28:10,474 --> 00:28:12,728
F
610
00:28:12,753 --> 00:28:14,039
F
611
00:28:17,274 --> 00:28:19,728
You have 20 minutes.
I just need to read that again.
612
00:28:19,753 --> 00:28:22,139
Yeah, absolutely.
613
00:28:22,164 --> 00:28:24,889
There's a task in there for you.
Did you see it?
614
00:28:32,354 --> 00:28:35,219
No, I can see
that.
615
00:28:35,244 --> 00:28:37,939
We printed it on paper.
616
00:28:37,964 --> 00:28:40,369
Oh, did you really?
617
00:28:40,394 --> 00:28:41,608
É
618
00:28:41,633 --> 00:28:44,049
Yeah, it was on there, yeah.
619
00:28:44,074 --> 00:28:46,528
É
620
00:28:46,553 --> 00:28:49,408
é
621
00:28:49,433 --> 00:28:51,728
How long do you think
a roll of loo roll is?
622
00:28:51,753 --> 00:28:53,449
Good question. Thank you.
623
00:28:54,753 --> 00:28:57,089
Lee, I'm just going to reattach
the original sheet,
624
00:28:57,114 --> 00:28:59,499
then I'll start the clock.
625
00:29:00,633 --> 00:29:02,009
Please don't break it again.
626
00:29:02,034 --> 00:29:04,969
F
627
00:29:04,994 --> 00:29:08,579
é
628
00:29:08,604 --> 00:29:10,608
You have 20 minutes.
629
00:29:10,633 --> 00:29:12,019
Your time starts now.
630
00:29:12,044 --> 00:29:15,019
F
631
00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:16,889
Yeah.
632
00:29:16,914 --> 00:29:20,379
É
633
00:29:20,404 --> 00:29:23,528
Oh, dear. Genuinely, Lee had some
banana from the banana task
634
00:29:23,553 --> 00:29:25,449
stuck on his helmet,
635
00:29:25,474 --> 00:29:28,689
so he went in there and cleaned
off the banana with the task.
636
00:29:28,714 --> 00:29:30,738
I mean, what struck me
instantly
637
00:29:30,763 --> 00:29:34,091
is that there were four people
getting stuck into Taskmaster
638
00:29:34,116 --> 00:29:36,061
the show, and then Lee was, er,
639
00:29:36,086 --> 00:29:39,154
taking part in a documentary
about a care home.
640
00:29:41,819 --> 00:29:44,754
Confused!
"I've got banana on my helmet!"
641
00:29:46,029 --> 00:29:49,084
"Oh!"
642
00:29:49,109 --> 00:29:51,763
£
643
00:29:51,788 --> 00:29:53,513
You didn't even put it in the bin.
644
00:29:53,538 --> 00:29:55,234
What's that going to do to you?
645
00:29:55,259 --> 00:29:57,924
It's rising, it's rising.
It's rising. It's bubbling up, yeah.
646
00:29:57,949 --> 00:30:01,124
First up, it's Charlotte
and Michael.
647
00:30:01,149 --> 00:30:02,843
Right.
648
00:30:02,868 --> 00:30:03,843
OK, excuse me.
649
00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:11,084
F
650
00:30:11,109 --> 00:30:13,314
£
651
00:30:20,149 --> 00:30:23,124
é
652
00:30:23,149 --> 00:30:25,004
F
653
00:30:25,029 --> 00:30:26,284
Yeah.
654
00:30:28,109 --> 00:30:33,444
Trying to construct a little
loo-roll rise.
655
00:30:33,469 --> 00:30:35,754
Do you think everyone's
going to do this method?
656
00:30:35,779 --> 00:30:39,004
Great.
657
00:30:39,029 --> 00:30:42,523
I've got too, er, unravel this
beast, because, otherwise,
658
00:30:42,548 --> 00:30:45,244
I think I'm going to get myself
in a pickle.
659
00:30:46,418 --> 00:30:51,564
É
660
00:30:51,589 --> 00:30:53,804
Gently, gently, does it.
661
00:30:56,189 --> 00:30:58,564
É
662
00:31:01,189 --> 00:31:03,804
F
663
00:31:03,829 --> 00:31:05,494
Somehow.
664
00:31:06,668 --> 00:31:07,964
OK, come on.
665
00:31:09,519 --> 00:31:11,284
É
666
00:31:11,309 --> 00:31:12,884
I'm footing the ladder.
667
00:31:14,589 --> 00:31:18,924
So we've reached the point at which
I've ceased to think things
668
00:31:18,949 --> 00:31:20,804
through very carefully.
669
00:31:28,909 --> 00:31:31,244
Is it?
670
00:31:31,269 --> 00:31:33,214
É
671
00:31:33,239 --> 00:31:37,284
F
672
00:31:37,309 --> 00:31:40,324
How are the weather conditions?
They're, they're brisk.
673
00:31:40,349 --> 00:31:42,684
It's your perfect,
sort of, you know,
674
00:31:42,709 --> 00:31:45,044
after-lunch walking weather, I'd
say.
675
00:31:45,069 --> 00:31:47,444
But, er, in terms of sticking toilet
paper onto some
676
00:31:47,469 --> 00:31:50,934
PVA glue - sub-optimal.
677
00:31:50,959 --> 00:31:53,523
Please be careful, Charlotte.
678
00:31:53,548 --> 00:31:55,444
Q
679
00:31:55,469 --> 00:31:56,804
Five minutes to go.
680
00:31:56,829 --> 00:31:58,444
Five minutes? Crumbs.
681
00:31:58,469 --> 00:32:00,723
OK, two ticks.
682
00:32:00,748 --> 00:32:03,044
F
683
00:32:03,069 --> 00:32:04,764
Flirting with the ground
quite often.
684
00:32:04,789 --> 00:32:06,574
£
685
00:32:06,599 --> 00:32:09,044
é
686
00:32:09,069 --> 00:32:10,684
That's come loose.
687
00:32:15,959 --> 00:32:18,764
OK.
688
00:32:18,789 --> 00:32:21,603
Careful, Mike. Tense. Yes.
Tense moment.
689
00:32:27,109 --> 00:32:31,403
É
690
00:32:33,909 --> 00:32:36,164
OK.
691
00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:37,523
That's it.
692
00:32:37,548 --> 00:32:39,804
I've boobooed.
693
00:32:39,829 --> 00:32:42,164
Thanks, Alex. Thank you, Mike.
694
00:32:42,189 --> 00:32:43,764
APPLAUSE
695
00:32:45,039 --> 00:32:47,964
I mean, fascinating. I've known Mike
for some time.
696
00:32:47,989 --> 00:32:51,603
I've seen him dancing in a pair
of tiny, little, gold hot-pants.
697
00:32:51,628 --> 00:32:53,483
Just an absolute maniac.
698
00:32:53,508 --> 00:32:57,884
And yet, the Mike that I'm presented
with here says things like,
699
00:32:57,909 --> 00:33:00,324
"I'll have to unravel this,
otherwise I'm going to get myself
700
00:33:00,349 --> 00:33:03,014
"into a pickle." "Crumbs."
701
00:33:03,039 --> 00:33:04,124
What's the weather like?
702
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:06,124
"It's perfect after-lunch walking
weather."
703
00:33:06,149 --> 00:33:08,523
That was, yeah, that was really...
What's happened to you?
704
00:33:08,548 --> 00:33:10,934
I don't know.
705
00:33:10,959 --> 00:33:14,574
The after-lunch walking
weather thing really distressed me.
706
00:33:14,599 --> 00:33:17,483
Charlotte, I thought coming out
the window was a lovely touch.
707
00:33:17,508 --> 00:33:20,294
Did you regret not fortifying
all of your toilet paper?
708
00:33:20,319 --> 00:33:23,483
É
709
00:33:23,508 --> 00:33:26,324
é
710
00:33:26,349 --> 00:33:28,653
Let's see what
happens.
711
00:33:28,678 --> 00:33:30,603
%
712
00:33:30,628 --> 00:33:33,094
So many catchphrases have been
invented in this series.
713
00:33:33,119 --> 00:33:36,174
I don't know where to start. Keep it
fast, keep it slick, keep it good.
714
00:33:36,199 --> 00:33:38,964
Do your summary. Unfortunately, she
should've kept on the ladder.
715
00:33:38,989 --> 00:33:42,094
They could've both stopped. She'd
reached 14 metres, he'd reached 8m.
716
00:33:42,119 --> 00:33:46,124
But hers snapped with four minutes
to go, his with three minutes to go.
717
00:33:46,149 --> 00:33:47,934
Well, I imagine Mike had to stop
so he could go
718
00:33:47,959 --> 00:33:49,934
for his afternoon constitution.
719
00:33:49,959 --> 00:33:52,294
Two glorious failures.
Do you want to see some more?
720
00:33:52,319 --> 00:33:54,603
Yeah. OK, next up
are Lee and Jamali.
721
00:33:55,709 --> 00:33:58,863
F
722
00:33:58,888 --> 00:34:03,254
F
723
00:34:03,279 --> 00:34:07,733
Do you have a screwdriver?
724
00:34:07,758 --> 00:34:10,764
Let me get a flat head. Actually...
725
00:34:10,789 --> 00:34:13,294
F
726
00:34:20,959 --> 00:34:23,224
What's...what's that? A weight.
727
00:34:23,249 --> 00:34:24,334
A little rock? Yeah.
728
00:34:25,638 --> 00:34:29,454
F
729
00:34:29,479 --> 00:34:32,124
F
730
00:34:32,149 --> 00:34:35,174
é
731
00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:37,094
é
732
00:34:37,119 --> 00:34:39,094
£
733
00:34:40,508 --> 00:34:42,764
é
734
00:34:50,678 --> 00:34:54,094
You done? Um, how long have I got
left? You've got 11 minutes.
735
00:34:55,558 --> 00:34:58,204
So you've done it?
736
00:34:58,229 --> 00:34:59,764
Right.
737
00:35:00,969 --> 00:35:03,663
Is that further?
Nowhere near.
738
00:35:04,758 --> 00:35:06,254
Actually, what, am I...?
739
00:35:06,279 --> 00:35:07,944
I can just go there myself.
740
00:35:17,479 --> 00:35:19,334
WHISTLE BLOWS
741
00:35:19,359 --> 00:35:21,204
Your time's up, Jamali. OK.
742
00:35:21,229 --> 00:35:24,094
Where's the loo roll?
It's way somewhere down there.
743
00:35:24,119 --> 00:35:27,174
I got far and then I kind of
got bored, so I came back.
744
00:35:27,199 --> 00:35:29,663
Will I be able to find it?
Yeah. Keep on going straight.
745
00:35:29,688 --> 00:35:32,334
There's like a water fountain.
It's next to that. A water fountain?
746
00:35:32,359 --> 00:35:33,743
Yeah. Oh, that's pretty.
747
00:35:33,768 --> 00:35:36,304
Like a little drinking fountain. Oh,
so it's functional?
748
00:35:36,329 --> 00:35:38,584
Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Lovely.
749
00:35:38,609 --> 00:35:39,814
APPLAUSE
750
00:35:39,839 --> 00:35:43,024
Similar technique by both men,
executed differently.
751
00:35:43,049 --> 00:35:44,493
Jamali, I'm going to put it to you,
752
00:35:44,518 --> 00:35:46,174
I think you really enjoyed that
task.
753
00:35:46,199 --> 00:35:49,104
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I enjoyed... honestly, like, er,
754
00:35:49,129 --> 00:35:51,694
being in that house for so long, you
kind of just want to start
755
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:54,334
ripping shit off the walls.
Sweet technique. Yeah.
756
00:35:54,359 --> 00:35:57,174
Worked a treat, I imagine. Yes.
How far away did he get it?
757
00:35:57,199 --> 00:36:00,974
Well, 60 giraffes lying end to
end. 363 metres. Good.
758
00:36:00,999 --> 00:36:04,024
Lee, same technique -
rip it off the wall. Very clever.
759
00:36:04,049 --> 00:36:06,774
What I enjoyed about it was I think
that that woman was genuinely
760
00:36:06,799 --> 00:36:10,464
frightened of you.
761
00:36:10,489 --> 00:36:12,464
Yeah.
762
00:36:12,489 --> 00:36:14,824
F
763
00:36:14,849 --> 00:36:17,334
You didn't get the opportunity to
764
00:36:17,359 --> 00:36:20,054
look into her eyes because the last
three things you said to her, she
765
00:36:20,079 --> 00:36:22,774
was pretending you weren't
there.
766
00:36:22,799 --> 00:36:25,384
É
767
00:36:25,409 --> 00:36:28,694
Her name is
Rebecca, she wasn't happy,
768
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,134
but she was happy to be involved.
She wasn't happy at first,
769
00:36:31,159 --> 00:36:33,493
because she didn't recognise you
and then she did,
770
00:36:33,518 --> 00:36:34,663
but then she was
confused.
771
00:36:34,688 --> 00:36:38,134
She drove to Kew, which is
three miles away.
772
00:36:38,159 --> 00:36:41,904
Right, that's three down
and one to go, until someone wins
773
00:36:41,929 --> 00:36:44,254
Mike Wozniak's finished loo roll
sitting on an old bin.
774
00:36:44,279 --> 00:36:46,104
That's what's at stake here.
775
00:36:46,129 --> 00:36:49,464
And you thought climate
change was important. Hurry back!
776
00:36:58,889 --> 00:37:00,303
APPLAUSE
777
00:37:00,328 --> 00:37:03,784
Hello, here we are again, it's the
final part of tonight's Taskmaster.
778
00:37:03,809 --> 00:37:06,114
Yes, it's very late,
I didn't eat much din-dins
779
00:37:06,139 --> 00:37:07,354
and I'm feeling very weak.
780
00:37:08,499 --> 00:37:10,834
Before the break,
they were trying to get the loo roll
781
00:37:10,859 --> 00:37:12,834
the furthest distance
from where it started
782
00:37:12,859 --> 00:37:14,794
but the loo roll had
to stay in one piece
783
00:37:14,819 --> 00:37:17,944
and the loo roll had to remain
on the loo roll holder at all times
784
00:37:17,969 --> 00:37:20,354
or else the attempt
would be null and void.
785
00:37:20,379 --> 00:37:23,354
To help spell out the rules, I've
actually put together a little video
786
00:37:23,379 --> 00:37:27,664
to show the kind of thing that could
cause an instant disqualification.
787
00:37:28,689 --> 00:37:32,633
It says, "The loo roll inner tube
must stay on the loo roll holder."
788
00:37:32,658 --> 00:37:34,914
So, why don't we get
the loo roll holder off...
789
00:37:35,739 --> 00:37:38,431
...because it probably unscrews,
and then, I can go further.
790
00:37:38,456 --> 00:37:39,943
You've got 19-and-a-half minutes.
791
00:37:42,657 --> 00:37:44,023
No.
792
00:37:44,048 --> 00:37:46,353
You've got to be kidding me.
793
00:37:46,378 --> 00:37:47,713
£
794
00:37:47,738 --> 00:37:50,073
F
795
00:37:50,098 --> 00:37:51,583
F
796
00:37:51,608 --> 00:37:53,873
F
797
00:37:55,688 --> 00:37:58,123
é
798
00:37:58,148 --> 00:38:00,583
Oh, that it is just...
799
00:38:00,608 --> 00:38:02,382
Oh, honestly.
800
00:38:02,407 --> 00:38:05,632
I mean, basically, you've got
yourself on a police watchlist.
801
00:38:05,657 --> 00:38:06,632
For nothing!
802
00:38:08,018 --> 00:38:10,993
I thought the sugar/salt incident
wouldn't get me any more annoyed.
803
00:38:11,018 --> 00:38:13,593
But that...
I could kill you, Alex!
804
00:38:13,618 --> 00:38:15,913
That's two in a row.
Two in a row for Lee Mack.
805
00:38:15,938 --> 00:38:17,663
Let's see how Sarah did. OK.
806
00:38:17,688 --> 00:38:20,512
Of course, toilet roll is famously
used to wipe your down under,
807
00:38:20,537 --> 00:38:23,023
so, does that mean our last
competitor will have an advantage?
808
00:38:23,048 --> 00:38:24,512
It's Sarah Kendall.
809
00:38:26,407 --> 00:38:30,123
OK. I'm just thinking that
I should get some supports in place.
810
00:38:30,148 --> 00:38:31,203
Yep.
811
00:38:36,818 --> 00:38:38,512
I think I'm being really ambitious.
812
00:38:39,537 --> 00:38:41,432
All right, OK, so...
813
00:38:41,457 --> 00:38:44,432
I'd love it if I got right out.
Yeah.
814
00:38:44,457 --> 00:38:45,993
You don't think I'm going to?
815
00:38:46,018 --> 00:38:48,312
I'm very excited
to watch what happens.
816
00:38:48,337 --> 00:38:49,312
OK.
817
00:38:51,818 --> 00:38:54,233
Oh, fuck. No! No, no.
Did that just touch?
818
00:38:54,258 --> 00:38:55,843
It didn't
but it was incredibly close.
819
00:38:55,868 --> 00:38:58,203
Oh, right, I see the problem
I've got here,
820
00:38:58,228 --> 00:38:59,353
it's gonna start unfurling.
Yeah.
821
00:39:00,407 --> 00:39:02,123
Ooh. No. No, no, no, no!
822
00:39:06,258 --> 00:39:08,793
Right. Getting somewhere?
Yeah, we're getting somewhere.
823
00:39:09,818 --> 00:39:10,993
Oh, no, is that wet?
824
00:39:15,457 --> 00:39:17,233
I've got, I've got a sparesy.
825
00:39:22,978 --> 00:39:24,033
I'm finished.
826
00:39:24,058 --> 00:39:25,392
WHISTLE
Thank you.
827
00:39:25,417 --> 00:39:26,392
Thanks.
828
00:39:27,417 --> 00:39:29,392
APPLAUSE
829
00:39:29,417 --> 00:39:31,953
The thing that fascinates me
about the whole show, really,
830
00:39:31,978 --> 00:39:34,432
is how quickly
that becomes normalised,
831
00:39:34,457 --> 00:39:36,073
that I found myself thinking,
832
00:39:36,098 --> 00:39:38,392
ah, she's using the old
boot on a bucket system.
833
00:39:38,417 --> 00:39:39,483
LAUGHTER
834
00:39:39,508 --> 00:39:43,203
And very wise, stopping to dry
the top of a bucket with her arse.
835
00:39:44,948 --> 00:39:47,283
She's an Olympic player, this girl.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
836
00:39:47,308 --> 00:39:48,923
I unearthed the skill set
I didn't know I had.
837
00:39:48,948 --> 00:39:50,483
It was great. How far did she get?
838
00:39:50,508 --> 00:39:53,753
Well, it's probably easiest if
you picture it in red blood cells.
839
00:39:53,778 --> 00:39:55,593
Two million red blood cells.
Wow. Wow.
840
00:39:55,618 --> 00:39:57,432
It's a long way, isn't it?
It's not bad.
841
00:39:57,457 --> 00:40:00,363
Just give us some proper statistics.
14 metres. All right.
842
00:40:00,388 --> 00:40:02,003
Weirdly, that is second place,
843
00:40:02,028 --> 00:40:05,363
but Jamali is the winner
with 363 metres.
844
00:40:05,388 --> 00:40:06,953
There it is!
845
00:40:06,978 --> 00:40:09,642
Is that the
first one?
846
00:40:09,667 --> 00:40:11,593
Enjoying yourself now, aren't you?
847
00:40:11,618 --> 00:40:13,923
What the show called?
848
00:40:13,948 --> 00:40:15,873
LAUGHTER
849
00:40:15,898 --> 00:40:18,203
Yeah, that'll do.
850
00:40:18,228 --> 00:40:20,283
On with Taskgame!
851
00:40:20,308 --> 00:40:22,843
Yeah, I can tell you, Jamali could
still win this one, he's on 16,
852
00:40:22,868 --> 00:40:24,283
Sarah's on 19.
853
00:40:24,308 --> 00:40:26,512
APPLAUSE
854
00:40:27,978 --> 00:40:29,873
OK, everyone, please,
make your way to the stage
855
00:40:29,898 --> 00:40:31,363
for the final task of the show!
856
00:40:33,467 --> 00:40:34,923
Do you like it?
857
00:40:35,948 --> 00:40:37,033
I think I like it.
858
00:40:37,058 --> 00:40:38,673
Who's gonna read it?
859
00:40:38,698 --> 00:40:41,843
Charlotte Ritchie...
..is not gonna read it. OK.
860
00:40:41,868 --> 00:40:43,113
Mike Wozniak's gonna read it.
861
00:40:44,337 --> 00:40:48,003
Write down what five things
are in the bowl under the table
862
00:40:48,028 --> 00:40:50,392
and how many of each thing
there are.
863
00:40:50,417 --> 00:40:54,803
You must look at the Taskmaster
throughout this task.
864
00:40:54,828 --> 00:40:56,593
One of your hands
must be in the bowl
865
00:40:56,618 --> 00:41:00,593
and the other must be holding
your pen throughout the task.
866
00:41:00,618 --> 00:41:04,076
You have two minutes.
The most accurate answers wins.
867
00:41:04,101 --> 00:41:06,354
You can look at your writing
when you're writing
868
00:41:06,379 --> 00:41:08,234
but please don't cheat.
869
00:41:08,259 --> 00:41:10,594
There are five different types
of thing in your bowl.
870
00:41:10,619 --> 00:41:12,914
You need to write down what they are
and how many there are.
871
00:41:12,939 --> 00:41:14,194
Does that make sense? Yep. Yeah.
872
00:41:14,219 --> 00:41:15,914
Simple as that,
five different things.
873
00:41:15,939 --> 00:41:18,274
Are you ready?
Your time starts...
874
00:41:18,299 --> 00:41:19,594
BLOWS WHISTLE
875
00:41:19,619 --> 00:41:20,764
Look at me.
876
00:41:20,789 --> 00:41:21,954
Have a good old rummage.
877
00:41:21,979 --> 00:41:23,234
4
878
00:41:23,259 --> 00:41:26,204
Identify and count, that's the game,
Greg, identify and count.
879
00:41:26,229 --> 00:41:27,513
É
880
00:41:27,538 --> 00:41:28,954
Look at me.
881
00:41:28,979 --> 00:41:30,563
Yeah, as long as you look at Greg.
882
00:41:31,739 --> 00:41:33,433
Please look at Greg, Charlotte.
883
00:41:33,458 --> 00:41:35,744
I'm just watching your eyes there,
they did drift.
884
00:41:35,769 --> 00:41:37,234
£
885
00:41:37,259 --> 00:41:40,513
Look at me, Lee. Look at me.
886
00:41:40,538 --> 00:41:42,383
I think Jamali is actually counting.
887
00:41:42,408 --> 00:41:44,274
He's still looking at me, though,
good boy.
888
00:41:44,299 --> 00:41:46,633
Don't say that, that was really...
really horrifying.
889
00:41:46,658 --> 00:41:48,994
That was actually, like,
that actually...disgust...
890
00:41:49,019 --> 00:41:51,563
Yeah, keep looking.
It's the truth. Stop, stop. Stop.
891
00:41:51,588 --> 00:41:53,563
I'm your destiny. Look at me.
892
00:41:54,739 --> 00:41:56,383
F
893
00:41:56,408 --> 00:41:58,714
Something is emitting an odour,
says Mike Wozniak.
894
00:41:58,739 --> 00:42:00,204
You've got a special treat in yours.
895
00:42:02,019 --> 00:42:04,433
How long left?
Lee, look at me.
896
00:42:04,458 --> 00:42:06,393
Yellow ca rd.
897
00:42:06,418 --> 00:42:09,284
That's your catchphrase when you
do stand-up, isn't it? Yellow card.
898
00:42:09,309 --> 00:42:10,994
Who got a yellow card there, Greg?
Lee did.
899
00:42:11,019 --> 00:42:13,313
I've not looked down,
I'm looking at the writing.
900
00:42:13,338 --> 00:42:14,563
He's glancing down like a fish.
901
00:42:14,588 --> 00:42:16,594
No, I'm looking at the paper
that I'm trying to...
902
00:42:16,619 --> 00:42:18,924
You are allowed to look at
your writing, that's fine.
903
00:42:18,949 --> 00:42:19,924
É
904
00:42:19,949 --> 00:42:21,594
Tick-tock. Five seconds.
905
00:42:25,099 --> 00:42:26,594
And...
906
00:42:26,619 --> 00:42:28,393
JAMALI: I'm good.
907
00:42:28,418 --> 00:42:29,674
WHISTLE
908
00:42:29,699 --> 00:42:31,004
That's your time up, please.
909
00:42:31,029 --> 00:42:33,563
Both your hands above the table now,
please.
910
00:42:33,588 --> 00:42:35,204
Ah, come on!
911
00:42:37,309 --> 00:42:38,874
Such a mucky pup.
912
00:42:38,899 --> 00:42:41,474
OK, I'm going to ask Charlotte,
913
00:42:41,499 --> 00:42:43,874
tell me one of the things
you thought you found.
914
00:42:43,899 --> 00:42:45,874
É
915
00:42:45,899 --> 00:42:47,794
How many?
916
00:42:47,819 --> 00:42:48,954
Five. Jamali, ice cubes?
917
00:42:48,979 --> 00:42:50,234
I got six. Six.
918
00:42:50,259 --> 00:42:51,834
I got four. Four.
919
00:42:51,859 --> 00:42:53,393
Three.
920
00:42:53,418 --> 00:42:54,433
Six.
921
00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,004
The correct answer was six.
922
00:42:56,029 --> 00:42:57,724
Sarah and Jamali,
one correct answer.
923
00:42:57,749 --> 00:43:00,393
Jamali, please tell me one of
the things you found in your bowl.
924
00:43:00,418 --> 00:43:02,114
É
925
00:43:02,139 --> 00:43:04,874
Uh, I found eggs, but they weren't
hard-boiled. But how many?
926
00:43:04,899 --> 00:43:08,154
Two.
Two soft, non-boiled eggs.
927
00:43:08,179 --> 00:43:09,513
É
928
00:43:09,538 --> 00:43:12,594
I said two eggs but I, um, guessed
they were, um, like rubber eggs,
929
00:43:12,619 --> 00:43:14,313
not actual eggs.
930
00:43:14,338 --> 00:43:15,393
Two.
931
00:43:15,418 --> 00:43:18,154
So, everyone gets a point
for that one. Yeah.
932
00:43:18,179 --> 00:43:20,034
Lee, what did you find in your bowl?
933
00:43:20,059 --> 00:43:25,084
Well, disappointingly I found,
uh...hundreds and thousands.
934
00:43:26,418 --> 00:43:28,034
Who else found
hundreds and thousands?
935
00:43:28,059 --> 00:43:30,393
I'll do a joke about
egg fried hundreds and thousands.
936
00:43:30,418 --> 00:43:32,754
Did you? Um, OK.
937
00:43:32,779 --> 00:43:35,443
Did anyone find anything
with a consistency of hundr...
938
00:43:35,468 --> 00:43:37,804
I found rice.
Rice. Yes.
939
00:43:37,829 --> 00:43:40,164
And how many grains?
5,000.
940
00:43:40,189 --> 00:43:43,674
I got, uh, 6,000.
941
00:43:43,699 --> 00:43:46,004
F
942
00:43:46,029 --> 00:43:48,313
Jamali wins that one,
it was 17,000 grains of rice.
943
00:43:48,338 --> 00:43:50,804
You were the closest.
944
00:43:50,829 --> 00:43:53,364
Mike, apart from eggs, ice,
and hundreds and thousands,
945
00:43:53,389 --> 00:43:56,084
what did you find in your bowl?
A premature conker.
946
00:43:56,109 --> 00:43:57,563
LAUGHTER
947
00:43:57,588 --> 00:43:58,884
A premature conker?
948
00:43:58,909 --> 00:44:00,884
I used to be in a band called
Premature Conker.
949
00:44:00,909 --> 00:44:03,244
Do you remember? Good times.
950
00:44:03,269 --> 00:44:06,004
Anyone else find anything with
a consistency of a premature conker?
951
00:44:06,029 --> 00:44:08,004
I thought they were grapes.
No grapes.
952
00:44:08,029 --> 00:44:09,643
No plums. Lee?
953
00:44:09,668 --> 00:44:11,084
Olives? No olives.
954
00:44:11,109 --> 00:44:12,284
F
955
00:44:12,309 --> 00:44:13,804
No-one found my pickled onions.
956
00:44:13,829 --> 00:44:15,364
Oh.
957
00:44:15,389 --> 00:44:17,443
Finally, Sarah, one last item.
958
00:44:17,468 --> 00:44:21,443
Uh, it, it felt a blob of, uh,
gelatine.
959
00:44:21,468 --> 00:44:23,754
How many jelly? Uh, just one.
960
00:44:23,779 --> 00:44:25,284
One jelly.
One jelly.
961
00:44:25,309 --> 00:44:28,364
Well, there was only one. Mike?
962
00:44:28,389 --> 00:44:30,284
One dead jellyfish.
963
00:44:30,309 --> 00:44:34,674
So, everyone, again, apart from
Lee and Mike, got that one right.
964
00:44:34,699 --> 00:44:36,323
I used to be in a band called
One Dead Jellyfish.
965
00:44:36,348 --> 00:44:37,604
F
966
00:44:37,629 --> 00:44:39,924
How much was it to get in?
Six squid?
967
00:44:39,949 --> 00:44:40,884
GROANING
968
00:44:40,909 --> 00:44:42,114
Q
969
00:44:42,139 --> 00:44:43,884
Do you want me to add up
these numbers, Greg?
970
00:44:43,909 --> 00:44:46,164
Anything to take the taste away.
971
00:44:46,189 --> 00:44:47,554
They'd better come down here,
972
00:44:47,579 --> 00:44:50,193
we'll see how all that's
affected the final scores.
973
00:44:52,269 --> 00:44:53,724
Ah, hi, Greg.
974
00:44:53,749 --> 00:44:55,193
Hello. Nice to be back.
975
00:44:55,218 --> 00:44:57,114
Nice to have you back.
976
00:44:57,139 --> 00:44:59,004
Now, that must have
affected things a bit.
977
00:44:59,029 --> 00:45:01,934
Jamali identified all of them
except for the pickled onions
978
00:45:01,959 --> 00:45:05,164
cos no-one got the pickled onions,
so, he gets the full five points.
979
00:45:05,189 --> 00:45:07,474
Well done. That's my first,
second win.
980
00:45:07,499 --> 00:45:08,474
APPLAUSE
981
00:45:08,499 --> 00:45:10,443
Sarah got three of the things,
she comes second.
982
00:45:10,468 --> 00:45:12,804
Charlotte, two of the things
so, comes third.
983
00:45:12,829 --> 00:45:16,114
The team of two, Mike and Lee, have
had a complete shocker this episode,
984
00:45:16,139 --> 00:45:17,804
they both came last with just one.
Aw. Aw.
985
00:45:17,829 --> 00:45:19,554
Which means, in terms of the series,
986
00:45:19,579 --> 00:45:21,554
Jamali is now hot on their tails,
987
00:45:21,579 --> 00:45:23,523
52 points, 57 points,
988
00:45:23,548 --> 00:45:25,044
58 points to Lee.
989
00:45:25,069 --> 00:45:28,014
Obviously, Charlotte,
a little way back.
990
00:45:28,039 --> 00:45:30,724
Sarah, 20 points ahead,
on 78 points.
991
00:45:30,749 --> 00:45:31,884
Wow.
992
00:45:31,909 --> 00:45:33,443
F
993
00:45:33,468 --> 00:45:35,443
But the winner,
17 points ahead of Mike,
994
00:45:35,468 --> 00:45:38,084
it's the third show
she's won in total,
995
00:45:38,109 --> 00:45:40,403
it's Sarah Kendall with 23 points!
Whoa!
996
00:45:40,428 --> 00:45:43,323
Sarah Kendall wins again!
997
00:45:43,348 --> 00:45:46,084
Please, go crazy for
your craziest things!
998
00:45:46,109 --> 00:45:47,323
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
999
00:45:47,348 --> 00:45:48,554
Off you go again!
1000
00:45:50,579 --> 00:45:52,294
So, what have we learnt today?
1001
00:45:52,319 --> 00:45:55,734
We've had an insight into two
very different career trajectories.
1002
00:45:55,759 --> 00:45:57,244
Cut to two years from now -
1003
00:45:57,269 --> 00:46:00,403
Sarah Kendall steps on to
a moonlit city skyline
1004
00:46:00,428 --> 00:46:04,844
as the lead in the new Hollywood
super-hero franchise Salt Woman.
1005
00:46:04,869 --> 00:46:07,554
Back in England,
a police car picks up Lee Mack,
1006
00:46:07,579 --> 00:46:10,484
he's on the M4 with a shopping
trolley full of toilet rolls,
1007
00:46:10,509 --> 00:46:13,244
shouting, "I thought it was salt.
It looked like salt!"
1008
00:46:15,709 --> 00:46:17,203
It's bye from us for now,
1009
00:46:17,228 --> 00:46:19,866
but let's end with some more
recognition for tonight's winner,
1010
00:46:19,891 --> 00:46:21,314
she's done it again -
1011
00:46:21,339 --> 00:46:24,115
it's Salt Woman, Sarah Kendall!
1012
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1013
00:46:26,419 --> 00:46:28,675
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