1 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:04,800 Ooh. 2 00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:12,640 Yow! 3 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,680 I just need to read that again. 4 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:15,960 SHE LAUGHS 5 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,000 Oh! 6 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,440 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 7 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,400 APPLAUSE CONTINUES 8 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,160 Hello, I'm Greg Davies, welcome to Taskmaster. 9 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,480 As we're near the halfway point of the series, 10 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,320 I'd like to take a moment to reflect. 11 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:45,640 There are those that say Taskmaster is a show without meaning, 12 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:48,320 that five comedians step into an arena and when they leave, 13 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:49,880 they've learnt nothing. 14 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,480 They've made fools of themselves on national television, brought shame 15 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,080 to their families and in some cases caused themselves physical harm. 16 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,440 To those that would reduce this show to a grotesque spectacle 17 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:04,640 watched over by a big fat man and a hairy sausage I say this, 18 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,200 please welcome Charlotte Ritchie... APPLAUSE 19 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,800 ..Jamali Maddix... APPLAUSE 20 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,280 ..Lee Mack... APPLAUSE 21 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,520 Mike Wozniak, and Sarah Kendall. 22 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:17,320 APPLAUSE 23 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:20,600 Now, eagerly sizzling in the pan next to me, statistics 24 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,000 are his foreplay and spreadsheets his post-coital cigarette. 25 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,440 It's the little Alex Horne! 26 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,200 Didn't mind that one. Nice, eh? 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,800 It implies I had a bit of fun. Yes. 28 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,720 And also, I have finished maths. 29 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,120 Oh. 30 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,600 OK, we're going back to this one, are we? 31 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,560 Well, I think we should give it a try because I learnt all of maths for this. 32 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,520 So, I presume there's a calculator in this. 33 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,920 Yes, I popped a working calculator into your drawer. 34 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,400 Right. 35 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,880 I can answer any sum, I'll pop that down. 36 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,200 Do you wanna pick a sum, Mike? 37 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:55,040 Erm, 13,243. 38 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,120 13,000... One, three, two, four, three. 39 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,080 One, three, two, four, three. 40 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,480 Yep. One, three, two, four, three. Uh, plus 8,000. 41 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:02,920 You are doing plus? 42 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,600 Plus 8,000. 43 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:06,160 Divide that by 20. 44 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,800 We're adding 8,000, divided by 20. 45 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,480 Just before you give me the answer, take your earpiece out. 46 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,880 Really? Yeah, we'll give you the final part of the sum. 47 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:14,360 Yeah, plus one. 48 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,800 So all of that plus one. 49 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,200 Plus one, 13,644. 50 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,240 No, it is that. Yeah. 51 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,800 Do another. He's got two ears, mate. 52 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,600 Yeah, I've got two earpieces. Oh! 53 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:27,320 I've got two earpieces. 54 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,600 The dirty rat. 55 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,000 I'm impressed with that. 56 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,360 That's genuinely the best thing you've ever done, 57 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,320 and I don't mean on this show. 58 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,440 What's the prize task category this week, please? 59 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,680 Well, it's quite simply the Craziest Thing. 60 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,240 You'll judge whose thing is the craziest, they'll get five 61 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,120 points, and the overall winner will take home five crazy things. 62 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,920 It's crazy. Jamali. 63 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,160 It's pretty crazy cos, d'you know what, yeah? 64 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,600 I feel like you haven't enjoyed my other prizes. 65 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:55,640 Correct. So I've got a photo of a baby smoking. 66 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,240 Yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember this kid. 67 00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,520 Yeah, I remember that boy. 68 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:01,920 Yeah, pretty mad, innit? He's on like 80 a day. Yeah. 69 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,600 Was it 80 a day or something? Yeah, but he gave up cos he's a quitter. 70 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:10,280 Yeah, so I thought that was pretty mad, innit? That is your best prize by some distance. 71 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,320 There you go. It's a happy ending to that story, by the way. 72 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,000 Smoking's bad, he now thinks chocolate is better than smoking. 73 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,160 Ahh, good. 74 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,400 Lee, what have you brought in? 75 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,560 Um, well, I brought in something that I find particularly crazy 76 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,160 and that is, uh, a lady's swimming costume. 77 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,960 Not just any lady's swimming costume, 78 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,320 I'm the kinda person that thinks, ooh, what's underneath that costume, 79 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:32,760 and I know you're thinking, hello, bit of old school sexism there. 80 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,240 Yeah. I mean really underneath the costume. 81 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,520 Here it is. 82 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,960 Oh! 83 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,960 It's absolutely disgusting. Well done. 84 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:44,040 Thank you. I think it's educational in a crazy sort of way. 85 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,240 Good. Hello, Charlotte. Hello. What have you brought in? 86 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:50,280 Well, the craziest thing that I could think of 87 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,840 if my life is that I've genuinely been at the inauguration 88 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,240 of every president during my lifetime. What d'you mean? 89 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:58,440 There've been seven inaugurations since she's been born. 90 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,720 Yeah. Four presidents. You've been at four inaugurations? 91 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,320 Yes. Wow. So, we've got photos of Charlotte at each of them. 92 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,040 Yeah. Which are up for grabs, is that right? Yeah, have 'em. 93 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,800 So, the first one here, Clinton's one, you can see her there. 94 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:13,120 Where? Where? Where? Oh, that little kid who's been superimposed? 95 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:17,040 Oh, God, the disappointment's so crushing that this is fake. 96 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,880 Hang on, I'm confused. Is the story true but the pictures fake or the whole thing's fake? 97 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:22,640 Charlotte is really there, 98 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,520 but all of those old bastards have been superimposed there. 99 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:28,800 Oh, right. Let's see all four pictures before we decide whether 100 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,480 this is a fake story. OK. Here's Charlotte at George W's inauguration. 101 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:33,680 OK. Yep, there she is. 102 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:34,840 Yep. Yeah, yeah. 103 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,360 I am beginning to think it's true. 104 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,400 OK, we're up to Obama. There I am. 105 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,120 There she is. Where, where are you? 106 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,440 There she is. Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Oh, yeah! 107 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,480 That's when you went through your awkward teenage phase... Yep. 108 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,920 ..when your head was four times bigger than anyone else's. 109 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,440 And most recently, and you said this was your favourite, 110 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,920 Donald Trump's inauguration. Yeah, really enjoyed that. 111 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:56,320 That one's quite convincing apart from the fact that again that 112 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,920 you're giant. Well, that one actually, is real. 113 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,640 Is it? Yes. What a twist! 114 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,000 It's crazy. Nah, it's not real. 115 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,160 Aw! Alex, come on. 116 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,360 So, absolutely none of this is true? 117 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:10,120 But it's beautifully plausible. Hmm. Like, I believed it. 118 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,360 You believed it. Yeah, and the fact that I believed it is crazy. 119 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,480 Ooh. Love that. Next up, it's Mike. 120 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:16,880 Oh, what have you got for us? 121 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,680 So, I am not much of a, sort of domestic god 122 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,560 and as a housemate, I'm not too much trouble, 123 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,960 but there's a very specific toilet based, sort of infraction that 124 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,600 I, I do not understand for which there is an image. 125 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,640 This is his crazy thing. 126 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,600 Are you saying this is what makes YOU crazy? 127 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,400 No, I think this choice is crazy. 128 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,440 If you're gonna put it anywhere you could put it on the floor, 129 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,480 you could take it with you, put it in your pocket, 130 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,600 put it behind, whatever. You've chosen to put it on, ON the bin. 131 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:47,680 Yeah. For which, all you need to do is - pop. 132 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,760 Good. Good? I think it's crazy. 133 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,560 OK. Sarah, crazy? 134 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:56,120 Crazy. So, I went to a, uh, a dinner party and my recollection 135 00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:59,280 of the whole evening was incredibly insane but there was a candle 136 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:03,080 that they had on the table and the candle was hundreds of angels' 137 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:08,080 faces in the wax and then they lit the candle and as the night steadily 138 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:11,600 got drunker and drunker and the evening felt stranger and stranger 139 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,000 there were melting angels' faces kind of drooping down the candle. 140 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,480 Here are the melting angel faces. They're horrible. 141 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,160 Frightening. It was like we'd angered the gods or something. 142 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,880 I don't know what you're offering up as crazy here, 143 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,080 melty angels or the collective experience? 144 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,800 The collective experience. 145 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:29,480 Now's the time to judge, Greg. 146 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,760 Melted crazy faces, toilet situation. 147 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,360 I didn't, I didn't find Lee's costume particularly crazy 148 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,800 and I'm gonna give it one point. OK, so it's one point to Lee. 149 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,840 I'm gonna give, I'm gonna jump to three points cos I think there's 150 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,280 some proper crazy goes on from that point onwards. 151 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:43,440 Three points to... 152 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,280 To the smoking baby. 153 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:48,000 A joint four points. Ooh! 154 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:52,160 To Charlotte and to Wozniak, but I think I'm being very generous 155 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,920 here because I think I'm giving him crazy points because he's crazy. 156 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960 Yes, he did just put something on a bin. 157 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,320 And five points, I mean, no-one's gonna beat that, I mean, it's absolute madness. 158 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:04,080 Melted angel faces. Sarah Kendall takes the big five. 159 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,160 Well done, Sarah Kendall, five points. 160 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,360 Let's move on. Task, please. 161 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,760 Yes, we start today's show with some banana drama. 162 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,440 Hello, Alex. 163 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,200 What's in the mug? Uh, it's coffee. 164 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,160 Do you not want that? I can put it down. 165 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,000 No, I like it. Is that all right? Yeah. 166 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:34,920 Shall I just, uh, crack away? 167 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,080 Yes, please. Please crack away. 168 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,080 Right, I'm looking at a frozen banana. 169 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,560 Am I allowed to touch these things, Alex? 170 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,640 All the information's in the task, Lee. 171 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:46,920 Can I take this off? I can't hear a thing you're saying. 172 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:49,520 "Get all of this banana in the bottle." 173 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,440 Oh, it's cold. 174 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,840 "You may not break the bottle." 175 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,120 "The bottle may not leave the lab. Fastest wins." 176 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,880 "Your time starts now." Does that mean now? Hang on. 177 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,600 It's the old, uh, frozen banana in the bottle - classic. 178 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,280 Yeah. It's like a ship in a bottle but a banana instead of a ship 179 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,720 and it's not often you can use a banana instead of a ship. 180 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,480 Good. Let's play on. 181 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,560 Ooh, OK. Well, first it's Jamali and Lee. 182 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,480 Ahh. 183 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:20,240 Right, OK, it's got a number on it, so I have to find the code, don't I? 184 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,680 You've gotta get the banana in the bottle. Oh, hello, 185 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:24,800 there's a code at the bottom. It says 201. 186 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:28,120 Hello. Urgh, it's disgusting this stuff. 187 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,760 Oh, it came off. 188 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:30,880 Bingo. 189 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,520 It's, like, a frozen banana as well, innit? 190 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,880 Oh, hang on, there's something in the bottle. 191 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,240 Oh, no. Oh, for the love of God. 192 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,360 I mean, I'm tempted to just pour it all over the floor, 193 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,400 but I have got some dignity, unlike the other people, 194 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,520 the young people who'll throw it all over the floor. 195 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,960 Can I just pour it on the floor? OK. 196 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:50,840 Is that all right? 197 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,760 Oh, you fucking... 198 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:55,960 HE LAUGHS 199 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,280 I can go get stuff? 200 00:08:57,320 --> 00:08:59,520 Ah, all the information's in the task there, Jamali. 201 00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:01,120 Oh, OK. Oh, you're being sarcastic. 202 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:03,680 All right, thank you, man. 203 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,480 Ahh, there we go. It might be that my b... Ah! 204 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,600 Oh, it's jelly, I think. 205 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:10,720 Did you microwave the banana? 206 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,080 Yeah. How long for? 207 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,800 Two, two minutes. 208 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,400 AUDIENCE GROANS 209 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,720 This is horrible. 210 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,360 I think if you heat jelly up it liquefies, doesn't it? 211 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,080 SQUELCHING 212 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,160 There's no, like, suction device here, is there? 213 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,000 Well, we've got a Hoover. Can I get a Hoover? 214 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,440 Can we get you a Hoover? Yeah, get me a Hoover, bro. OK. 215 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,240 Right. Now, watch. 216 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,600 I think I've just demonstrated lateral thinking there. 217 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,560 HOOVER WHIRS 218 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,200 LAUGHTER 219 00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,280 You don't have, like, an industrial Hoover? 220 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,120 An industrial Hoover? Yeah. We don't have an industrial Hoover, no. 221 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,520 Get the banana defrosted, get all of that in there. 222 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,840 Yeah, thank you, bro. 223 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,120 Right, that's the jelly out. 224 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,320 Great. 225 00:09:58,360 --> 00:10:01,240 All of the banana, that's gotta be the skin, right? 226 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,160 AUDIENCE GROANS 227 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,000 Oh, no, it's full up. 228 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,840 The bottle's full. HE LAUGHS 229 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,800 I'm doing everything in my powers not to masticate it, 230 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,760 but at the moment it's looking like it might have to be. 231 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,360 AUDIENCE GROANS 232 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,560 Hot or cold? It's confusing. 233 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,240 Free... Boiling on the outside, freezing in the middle. 234 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,520 I'm very... Actually, it's quite nice. 235 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,880 I'm sorry to keep asking you to do shit, can you, 236 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,200 get me a cup of water, please? What's in your hand? 237 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,840 Yeah, but I mean like, a full-up cup. Oh, right. 238 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,320 And a little less attitude next time, please, mate. 239 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,200 I feel like this is either the smartest thing I've ever done 240 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,640 or the dumbest thing I've ever done. 241 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,240 You know, I'm basically gonna squeegee that into the bowl, 242 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,560 d'you know what I'm saying? 243 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:43,960 OK. 244 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,120 SHOCKED LAUGHTER 245 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,480 What are you doing, Lee? Sharpening the end. 246 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,680 AUDIENCE GROANS 247 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:51,720 Oh, stop it. 248 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,880 Nearly. 249 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,480 Stop the clock. Ah! 250 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,320 HE LAUGHS 251 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,240 Stop. Stop it? 252 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,960 Yeah. Yep. OK. There we go. 253 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,560 I love that you correctly predicted the poor behaviour of the youth. 254 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,280 I knew it. I knew it. Just no consideration, just all over the floor and I was making a... 255 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,520 I also like that you said you were gonna do it with dignity 256 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,160 and then ended up chopping it up in your mouth and spitting it... 257 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,400 And then spat it into the thing, yeah. 258 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,520 It was a lovely metaphor for the difference between two age groups as 259 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:25,800 well in that you thought, I'm gonna melt this jelly and it'll logically 260 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:30,880 fall out of the bottle, whereas you asked for a Hoover to suck it out. 261 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,960 Yeah, I didn't, it was only later on I realised that if you add 262 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,200 water to it that it obviously fills up with air and pushes it out 263 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,920 but I, yeah, I just thought I could hoover it out or something. 264 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,960 It's the folly of youth. Yeah, yeah. 265 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,760 Have you got some fascinating statistics? 266 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,640 Lee said the futility levels on this show are beyond the realm 267 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:48,960 and scored 11 minutes and 13 seconds. 268 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,120 All right. And to put that into context, Jamali, 269 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:55,280 after getting a blender, a Hoover, a spoon, a funnel, towel, pumps, 270 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:56,600 23 minutes and 19 seconds. 271 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,960 Ahh. More than twice. 272 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,920 Lovely to see the older generation winning the day. 273 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,720 Yeah. Cos something we know about is mashing up our food. 274 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,920 Having a lovely banana snack as well. 275 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,040 OK, it's the end of part one, 276 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:13,800 your task at home is to go to the fridge, take in about 1,500 277 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,920 calories and then come back full of regret and vulnerable. 278 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,600 See you after the break. 279 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,960 CHEERING 280 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,280 APPLAUSE 281 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,440 Hello! Welcome back to part two of tonight's show. 282 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:33,960 Before the break, there was a banana task under way. 283 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,400 They were trying to get a frozen banana into a bottle packed full of jelly. 284 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,840 All of our parents are going to be so proud. 285 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:43,800 Now, who is the man behind the moustache? It's Mike Wozniak. 286 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,200 So, here is Mike Wozniak's banana bash. 287 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,760 So that's... What is that? Vaseline or something? 288 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,040 I think it's Vaseline. 289 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,840 HE LAUGHS OK. 290 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,880 Uh, OK. 291 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,640 Um, right, so this is frozen. 292 00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:01,080 OK, that's unexpected. 293 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,880 Uh, the bottle may not leave the lab, but I might leave the lab. 294 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:08,480 Back in a tick. OK. 295 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:12,760 BLEEPING 296 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,680 OK. Right, I'm going to start, see if I can, 297 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:21,520 sort of very slow to, uh, actually 298 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:25,440 go in the actual bottle which is full of stuff. 299 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:28,560 Right, there we go, a twist, but full of what? 300 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:29,720 That's the question. 301 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,320 Right, I've made a pig's ear of this. 302 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,440 Right, OK, I'm going to try and empty the bottle. 303 00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:38,080 Back in a mo. Jelly. 304 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,720 It's full of jelly. 305 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:44,040 What dissolves jelly? Come on you cheeky scamp. 306 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,480 Hello, Mike. Hello. 307 00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:54,600 Look at that, that's going in beautifully. 308 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:59,520 Gentle pummelling action on the old banana udder's working very nicely. 309 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,360 Skin time. 310 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:04,480 Do you want me to ask you what time it is? Uh, you can ask me what time... What, what... 311 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,320 Well, I thought you might then say, "Skin time." 312 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,920 Oh, skin time. Thank you. I didn't... Oh, right, OK. 313 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,040 I've never.... I've not come across skin time before. 314 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,520 You did say skin time. Did I say skin time? Yes. 315 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,000 Oh, right, OK. What time is it, Mike? 316 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,920 It's skin time. Thank you. 317 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,760 Skin time is the right time. 318 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:21,560 Don't mind a bit of finger in there, do you? 319 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,680 Done. I've stopped the clock. Thank you. 320 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:29,120 APPLAUSE 321 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,520 Well, Wozniak... 322 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,040 ..if you had to choose one of the catchphrases that have got 323 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,920 the nation talking would it be "bamboo time" or "skin time"? 324 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,640 I think skin time feels... Because skin time's the right time, am I right? 325 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,920 Skin time is the right time, but it feels a bit blue to me, so 326 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,600 I think, uh, bamboo time's probably got a bit more universal appeal. 327 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,800 It feels like there's an elephant in the room. Yeah, I know. 328 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,720 Well, I know what the elephant in the room is 329 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,160 and it crushed my spirit seeing that. 330 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,240 It's like you're doing an operation and just, uh, 331 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:53,080 whipping out the wrong organ. Heart-breaking. 332 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,240 Just leaping out the window with it, yeah. Yeah. 333 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,400 Yes, you did, it left the room, which is a shame 334 00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,000 because he got through everything else. 335 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,080 He was the quickest - ten minutes, 36 seconds. Yeah. 336 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,160 But it's a lot easier if you leave the room with the bottle. 337 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,360 Skin time is the wrong time. 338 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,520 But what you saw there was a man who thought it was jelly o'clock 339 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:14,520 and tick-tock, he should've stopped and checked his watch. Right. 340 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,440 And seen that in fact, it was stay-in-the-room time. 341 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,680 Unlucky, loser. What's next? 342 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,160 Finally, it's Charlotte and Sarah. 343 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:26,480 I'm just going to try zero, zero, zero cos you just don't... you just don't know. 344 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,440 OK, are you going to do all the numbers? What, from the beginning to the end? Hm. 345 00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,880 Yeah, how long have I got? Ahh, yeah! 346 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,280 Well, it just comes off. OK. 347 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:36,760 "The bottle may not leave the lab." 348 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:37,800 But I can leave the lab. 349 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:39,800 I can leave the lab? OK, all right. 350 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,400 OK. 351 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,720 Oh, it's got... 352 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:49,120 Oh, no. Oh, no! What's the problem? It's got, like, a jelly in it. 353 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,040 Ah. Get out. Get out. 354 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,760 I'm microwaving the banana. 355 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,520 How long are you microwaving it for? 356 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:56,960 Two, two minutes. 357 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,360 Oh, it's frozen. 358 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,600 I've got it on high. 359 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,960 Look at that technique. 360 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,520 Ahh. Urgh. 361 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,160 Oh. 362 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,880 Oh, yeah. Yeah, OK. 363 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,560 LAUGHTER Ah, it's hot. 364 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,200 It's so hot and yet so cold. 365 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,480 Ow! No. 366 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,680 Oh, shit, that's... That's not going to work. 367 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,880 I now have to remove the banana that's already in there. 368 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:29,800 Do you know what's happened is that I've actually not displaced enough jelly. 369 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:33,440 Something's shifting. 370 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,200 LIQUID SLOPS IN BOTTLE 371 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:40,320 I'm doing something wrong, but I'm going to stick with it. 372 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,360 OK. 373 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,800 Oh, I think we've made enough space now. 374 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,480 OK. All right. 375 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,840 Just look away, guys. 376 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:52,200 Fucking, come on. Yeah, yeah, it's in. 377 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,280 And I seem to be masturbating a highly lubricated bottle but, 378 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:59,600 kind of, trying to shove banana into the eye of its penis. 379 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,760 OK? Ooh... 380 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,400 Ooh, oh, my! Ahh, this is so upsetting. 381 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:11,080 Yeah, there we go and then we use the that's what we do. 382 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,640 If I eat it. 383 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,480 Then there won't be any banana left I suppose. 384 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:16,080 In it goes. 385 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,280 Hmm. 386 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,800 Oh, my God, it's so cold. 387 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,680 Well, that goes in the bin so that doesn't count as banana any more. 388 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,360 OK, there, I think I'm finished. OK, I've stopped the clock. 389 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,400 I'm just going to have to call that one a day I think. 390 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:29,680 I've stopped the clock. 391 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:33,120 APPLAUSE 392 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,920 Are you under the impression that if you put something in the bin it doesn't exist any more? 393 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,800 Yeah. I wrote down a quote. 394 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,760 Cos I don't think that you'll ever say this again in life, 395 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,200 "What's happened here is I haven't displaced enough jelly." 396 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,760 It's a one-off, yeah. 397 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,880 Sarah, once you'd said, "What I'm doing here is, 398 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,760 "I'm ramming a banana into the end of a penis," 399 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,080 I didn't hear any other words you said cos all I could see is that... 400 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,360 Huh, really? ..awful image. 401 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,440 Oh, I really enjoyed, "Something's shifting." 402 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,200 I don't remember being... Oh, yeah. 403 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,320 "Something is shifting!" 404 00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,400 Do you want me to give you some time, Greg? I do, yeah. 405 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,680 OK, well, uh, Mike is disqualified cos he. 406 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,720 Tragic. Cos of the elephant in the room. He took the elephant out of the room, as you know. 407 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,160 Yeah. Charlotte stopped at 23 minutes, 22. 408 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,120 Three seconds after Jamali's time. OK. 409 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,800 So she's either second last or disqualified 410 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,600 cos she didn't get all the banana in the bottle. 411 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,400 Yeah, yeah, give her a point. Why not? 412 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,200 She made it disappear with her magic bin. 413 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,040 Charlotte, you get one point. Thank you. 414 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:26,600 Jamali's definitely in third with 23 minutes, 19. 415 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,840 We know that Lee got 11 minutes, 13. 416 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,800 Sarah, eight minutes, 49. 417 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,640 No? Acht minuten. 418 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:35,240 So, she definitely gets the five points. That's crazy. 419 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,840 APPLAUSE 420 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,200 Scoreboard, please. 421 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,280 Mike is in last place with 4, 422 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,800 our series leader Sarah is leading the episode too with 10 points. 423 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,440 Mm-hmm. Das ist gut. 424 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,760 One more task, please. 425 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:55,320 OK, matey boy, it's team time and, as a little nod to how you put me 426 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,240 to bed each night, 427 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,560 they've been shackled in chains with bells attached to them. 428 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,600 Here we go. 429 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,880 I think me and you are probably the least appropriate 430 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,520 dressed for the hottest day of the year. 431 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,560 Please mount your podiums. Thank you. 432 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,560 Hello, team. Hello. Hey. 433 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,160 Please stand on a box and, when you're on your box, please 434 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,880 put on your little gloves and your belt. 435 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,120 Thank you. 436 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,200 Little gloves. 437 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,360 Right, put this on, yeah? Yes, please. 438 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,840 "Put the bag of salt on that table over there." 439 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:45,440 Ah. Is that the bag of salt? I assume so. 440 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:49,160 "No-one may move while holding the bag of salt." 441 00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:53,640 "If the bag of salt touches the ground at any point you must return to your starting point." 442 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:58,240 "If any bell touches the ground at any point you must return to your starting point." 443 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,440 Bell? Bell. 444 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,440 "You may not touch the rope or your belts. 445 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,200 "Fastest wins." 446 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,560 "Your time starts now." OK. 447 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,520 Looks like a fun game. I do it with my children. 448 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:12,880 All makes sense to me. Mm-hmm. 449 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:17,040 I've not got much to say, other than the sight of Lee and Mike just 450 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:22,480 reminded me of a nurse bringing her delusional patient across a field. 451 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,880 Shall we start with them? Yes, please. 452 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,320 They've got an average age of 46.5 with Lee doing 453 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,000 most of the heavy lifting there. 454 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:32,120 It's Mike and Lee. 455 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,760 Uh, so no-one may move while holding the bag of salt. 456 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,160 Well, can we maybe use the... Uh, what about using the, the sheet to wrap the...? 457 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,880 Cos then we're not physically holding the bag of salt, we're holding the sheet bagged up. 458 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,080 So, if I grab that. 459 00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:44,920 I wonder, if we clear off the stuff, 460 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,880 the idea is to wrap the thing up, so it becomes a bag, 461 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,680 so we're not actually holding the bag of salt. 462 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,360 But one person would then have to carry the red bag. Yeah, but they wouldn't... 463 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,040 Cos there's no way we can lean in without those bells. Oh, yeah, exactly, yeah. 464 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,920 one person's doing all the work, the other guy's just stretching the belt. 465 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:58,680 Wrap it all up? Whoa, hang on, it me. 466 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,480 Cos we... He...he might've said, "Whilst holding the salt," is what he says. 467 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,480 Right. If I was walking along shopping... Yeah? 468 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:10,240 ..and my wife said, "Oh, don't forget to buy salt," I bought salt, put it in the carrier bag... 469 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:13,560 Yep. ..and she said, "Oh, hang on, have you got...did you get salt?" 470 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,560 I go, "Yeah." And she said, "Are you carrying it now?" 471 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,520 And I went, "No." She'd say, "But you are carrying the salt." 472 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,320 "No, I'm not, I'm carrying the plastic bag which is holding the salt." 473 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,640 With you completely but we're not in Mack world, we're in Taskmaster world. 474 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:26,760 Oh. 475 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,720 Shall we throw it? Play safe. 476 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,080 Yes, you go there. Want us to get a little bit closer? 477 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:35,200 Here it comes. Yes! 478 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,400 Ooh! 479 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:45,160 Oh, it's...it's...it's...well, 480 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,840 it's... there's nothing in the thing about the bag splitting. Everything's fine. 481 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,040 Have you re-knotted? I've sort of twizzled. 482 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,600 Twizzle will be fine. OK. 483 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,000 Hang on, hang on. Yep. Yep. 484 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,360 I've stopped the clock. Sweet. Do you think you completed the task? 485 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,440 HE LAUGHS I don't really remember what the task said. 486 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,560 I enjoyed myself. Are you a bit dirty now, Mike? 487 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,680 I'm salty. I don't think that's the same thing. 488 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,080 Are you now? Salt's all right, innit? 489 00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,960 OK, well you can, uh, remove the belt. 490 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,400 APPLAUSE 491 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,920 You, specifically, looked like you were having the time of your life there. I was having a lovely time. 492 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,280 You looked like a provincial vicar tied to Lee Mack, 493 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,400 trotting across a field without a care in the world. 494 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,440 It brought me back to my old morris dancing days. 495 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,720 This is just... 496 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,560 Just good clean fun on a summer's day... 497 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,000 I don't doubt you have morris danced in your life. 498 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,960 ..breeze in my hair, and a bag of salt to play with. 499 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,560 Yeah. What more can a boy ask for? 500 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,440 There was some real insight into the Mack family there. 501 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,680 Does she quiz you about the contents of the shopping bags? 502 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,240 She's obsessed with salt and whenever we're coming 503 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,280 away from any shop, she'll always go, "Did you get salt?" 504 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:57,480 And I always have to go, "Yes." Even if we've been shopping for, like, clothes and things. 505 00:22:57,520 --> 00:23:00,840 Well, look, they told me to stop the clock at four minutes, 42. Yep. 506 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,440 I thought we were pretty slick. Lovely. Goodbye, part two. 507 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,080 We're finished. We tried to make it work, but it didn't. 508 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,880 It's no-one's fault. I think we just need space. 509 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,160 It's hard enough as it is. Just go! 510 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:13,360 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 511 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,120 APPLAUSE 512 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,960 Hello, welcome back to Taskmaster. 513 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,760 Give me a recap please, Alex, in the form of a performance poem. 514 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,080 OK, are you going to lay down a beat? 515 00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,040 Sure, man. Here we go. 516 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,200 GREG BEATBOXES 517 00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:35,880 The task before the break involved passing salt. 518 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,480 Mike and Lee passed the salt. 519 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,720 Next, it's time for the team of three 520 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,360 and that is the recap poem by me. 521 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,040 Rubbish. APPLAUSE 522 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,880 If you tauten it, I go long and then go under it. 523 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:52,000 Yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah. Or we could swivel round. 524 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:53,320 OK. What? 525 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,680 BOTH: OK. 526 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,440 Yeah, amazing. And then we're going to throw it to each other? 527 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,680 Yeah. All right. OK. 528 00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,080 OK, who do I throw it to now, Sarah? At me. 529 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,960 And then... Don't step. 530 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,240 Oh, we've got to start again. 531 00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,320 So you can't move when you're... When you're holding the salt. 532 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:15,800 Off you go again. OK, ready? Yeah. 533 00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:18,800 All right. 534 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:20,840 Oh, yeah, great. OK. 535 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,080 And then, so... You can't step. 536 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:24,800 Oh, OK. Yeah. 537 00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:25,920 OK. 538 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,160 Come on, guys. 539 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,200 Let's get a bit of hustle. OK. 540 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:35,600 OK. 541 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,840 All right. No stepping. 542 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,120 Oh, we've got problems. 543 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,120 Agh! OK. 544 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,400 It kind of felt sweet in my mouth, I don't... 545 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,320 Salt? Oh, guys, guys, guys, it says... 546 00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:00,120 This is sugar, it's not salt. 547 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,960 So, let's... If we put it to the table and go back. Go round 548 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000 this way. Careful, careful. 549 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,560 OK. And then go back to the table. 550 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,480 On the table, innit? 551 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:15,680 Oh, for fuck sake. Yeah. Yeah, they're still here. 552 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:17,800 Also, I just touched the... I just touched the rope. 553 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,440 The bells touched the ground. Sorry, you've got to start again. 554 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,680 Yeah. God's sake. 555 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:24,480 OK? 556 00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,640 Yeah, we better start. Yeah, OK. Yeah. OK. 557 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,760 Just boot it, just kick it over. Keep going. Go! 558 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:33,360 Just kick it. Kick it, kick it, kick it. 559 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,560 OK. OK. Yep. 560 00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:41,080 Doesn't matter. Yeah, you got it. Yeah, and then just slam it down. 561 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:42,120 Just... 562 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,880 I've stopped the clock. 563 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,600 Well, there's some salt in a bag on the table I suppose. 564 00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:51,320 APPLAUSE 565 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,440 That is highly irritating. 566 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,680 Watching yours, knowing that you didn't know gave me 567 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,480 an insight into how you feel all the time and it felt incredible. 568 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,880 Did it feel good? Smug. I was thinking, they've blown this. 569 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,560 They've ruined it. We are in, we are quids in for maximum points. 570 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:07,760 It was really enjoyable knowing that you messed up! 571 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,720 And then just watching it and watch him be like, yeah, yeah! 572 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,160 Yeah. And, you know what, 573 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,080 he didn't say nothing, but he gave a little eye to Mike, just went 574 00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,000 like that and that was just... 575 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,520 And just as I was having a little victory parade like that, 576 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:24,000 a tiny little voice went... "This tastes sweet." 577 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,600 I was like, "What? What do you mean it tastes sweet?" 578 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,120 Then it all... Inside my head just went to pieces. 579 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,800 When Sarah's dramatic revelation - which I think we should watch, cos 580 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,200 I thought it was worthy of a movie role, this. 581 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,280 OK, this is the dramatic moment. 582 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,120 Agh. 583 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,960 Oh, guys, guys, guys. This is sugar, it's not salt. 584 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,760 Yeah! Genuinely. Wow. That's a proper thriller. 585 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,400 I did not know what I was meant to do in that task 586 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,320 and that was the one thing that I knew. One fact. 587 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:03,160 One thing. But what you can't take away from me 588 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,800 is that I had an absolutely lovely day. 589 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:10,240 Well, very exciting and catastrophic for these two clowns. 590 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,760 It's up to you how many points you want to give the team of two. 591 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:16,040 Can't give them anything. No. Didn't put salt on the table. And the team of three? 592 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,880 Five points each. It's a big day for them. 593 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:19,880 Five points to the team of three. 594 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,840 APPLAUSE 595 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,960 Very good. Let's go, what's next? 596 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,560 Loo roll! Uh-oh. 597 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,640 Got to look for the, er, look for the task? 598 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,000 Yes, please. OK. Um... 599 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,560 Ooh! OK. 600 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:52,720 All right. I'm good. You? Your goggles. 601 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,520 Ooh, sorry, can I do that again? You can do it again. 602 00:27:55,560 --> 00:28:00,520 Sorry. Get this sheet of loo roll as far from here as possible. 603 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,680 Only this sheet of loo roll may touch the ground. 604 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,120 The loo roll must not break at any point. 605 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,480 And the loo roll inner tube must stay on the loo roll 606 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,320 holder at all times. 607 00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:15,480 I've got banana everywhere. 608 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,960 Give me a sec, sorry. 609 00:28:20,120 --> 00:28:22,600 You have 20 minutes. I just need to read that again. 610 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:24,960 Yeah, absolutely. All right. 611 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,800 There's a task in there for you. Is there? Did you see it? 612 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,080 I can't find a task. No, I can see that. 613 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,760 We printed it on paper. 614 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:43,240 If it was on there, I've just used it. Oh, did you really? 615 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,480 Yeah, yeah. 616 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,880 Yeah, it was on there, yeah. 617 00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,360 It might be in the toilet. Oh, no, it's... Luckily, 618 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,240 cos I just didn't want to flush the chain I just threw it on the thing. 619 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,320 How long do you think a roll of loo roll is? 620 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,360 Good question. Thank you. 621 00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,880 Lee, I'm just going to reattach the original sheet, 622 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,400 then I'll start the clock. Right, OK. 623 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:04,840 Please don't break it again. 624 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,800 Yeah, I should've probably spotted that, but what I tend to do is 625 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:11,440 use toilet paper rather than read it... Awkward. ..reading it first. 626 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,480 You have 20 minutes. 627 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,840 Your time starts now. 628 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,880 I just crack on, use the toilet paper, get on with my day. 629 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,720 Yeah. All right. 630 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:23,200 Ooh, hello. You could use that as a loo-roll holder. 631 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,400 Oh, dear. Genuinely, Lee had some banana from the banana task 632 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,280 stuck on his helmet, 633 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,520 so he went in there and cleaned off the banana with the task. 634 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:33,560 Yeah. I mean, what struck me instantly 635 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,920 is that there were four people getting stuck into Taskmaster 636 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:38,840 the show, and then Lee was, er, 637 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,080 taking part in a documentary about a care home. 638 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,680 Confused! "I've got banana on my helmet!" 639 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:51,960 "Oh!" Thank God I'm a pig and I don't throw my dirty tissues away 640 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,600 and I just throw it on the side. 641 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,400 You didn't even put it in the bin. No. 642 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:58,080 What's that going to do to you? 643 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,760 It's rising, it's rising. It's rising. It's bubbling up, yeah. 644 00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:04,000 First up, it's Charlotte and Michael. 645 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,720 Right. 646 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:06,760 OK, excuse me. 647 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,960 If I go out the window... 648 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,120 Ooh, have you got any Sellotape? 649 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,000 OK, ah-ha. 650 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,880 I'm fortifying the loo roll. 651 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,200 Yeah. 652 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:36,280 Trying to construct a little loo-roll rise. 653 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,640 Do you think everyone's going to do this method? Yeah. 654 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:41,840 Great. It's fairly universal. 655 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:45,360 I've got too, er, unravel this beast, because, otherwise, 656 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,160 I think I'm going to get myself in a pickle. 657 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:54,440 Now the window's going to cause real havoc with this. 658 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,520 Gently, gently, does it. 659 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,480 Ooh, it's... It's like a ripping noise. 660 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,680 Somehow, the tape's actually made it a lot heavier. 661 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,400 Somehow. 662 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:10,880 OK, come on. 663 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,160 OK, could you foot the ladder for me? 664 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,800 I'm footing the ladder. 665 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:21,800 So we've reached the point at which I've ceased to think things 666 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,720 through very carefully. 667 00:31:31,760 --> 00:31:33,880 It's becoming a bit of a burden actually. Is it? 668 00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,040 Yeah, cos, I mean, in a way, 669 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:40,120 I do wish that I'd gaffer taped the whole thing. 670 00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:43,160 How are the weather conditions? They're, they're brisk. 671 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,400 It's your perfect, sort of, you know, 672 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,760 after-lunch walking weather, I'd say. 673 00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,320 But, er, in terms of sticking toilet paper onto some 674 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,760 PVA glue - sub-optimal. 675 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,400 Please be careful, Charlotte. Thank you. 676 00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,320 Oh! 677 00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,680 Five minutes to go. 678 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:01,320 Five minutes? Crumbs. 679 00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,440 OK, two ticks. 680 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,880 Oh. Maybe I should... Oh! OK. 681 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,640 Flirting with the ground quite often. 682 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,440 Yeah, I'm keeping it on the edge. 683 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,920 Whoo, no! 684 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,600 That's come loose. 685 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,600 No. OK. 686 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,520 Careful, Mike. Tense. Yes. Tense moment. 687 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:34,080 That's actually disappointing to, um, to say the least. 688 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:38,840 OK. 689 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,400 That's it. 690 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,520 I've boobooed. 691 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:45,040 Thanks, Alex. Thank you, Mike. 692 00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,680 APPLAUSE 693 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:50,800 I mean, fascinating. I've known Mike for some time. 694 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:54,480 I've seen him dancing in a pair of tiny, little, gold hot-pants. 695 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:56,320 Just an absolute maniac. 696 00:32:56,360 --> 00:33:00,720 And yet, the Mike that I'm presented with here says things like, 697 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,200 "I'll have to unravel this, otherwise I'm going to get myself 698 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,880 "into a pickle." "Crumbs." 699 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:06,960 What's the weather like? 700 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,960 "It's perfect after-lunch walking weather." 701 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,400 That was, yeah, that was really... What's happened to you? 702 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,760 I don't know. 703 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:17,400 The after-lunch walking weather thing really distressed me. 704 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:20,320 Charlotte, I thought coming out the window was a lovely touch. 705 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,120 Did you regret not fortifying all of your toilet paper? 706 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,320 I guess... I guess I got confident and I just... 707 00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:29,160 I thought, "Well, I've fortified the first bit, I'll just let go now 708 00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:31,400 "and get moving." Let's see what happens. Keep it fast, 709 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,440 keep it slick, keep it good. 710 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,920 So many catchphrases have been invented in this series. 711 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:39,000 I don't know where to start. Keep it fast, keep it slick, keep it good. 712 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,800 Do your summary. Unfortunately, she should've kept on the ladder. 713 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,920 They could've both stopped. She'd reached 14 metres, he'd reached 8m. 714 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:48,960 But hers snapped with four minutes to go, his with three minutes to go. 715 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,800 Well, I imagine Mike had to stop so he could go 716 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,760 for his afternoon constitution. 717 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,880 Two glorious failures. Do you want to see some more? 718 00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,520 Yeah. OK, next up are Lee and Jamali. 719 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,680 It says, the loo roll inner tube must stay on the loo roll 720 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:05,880 holder, so why don't we get the loo roll holder off...off there. 721 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:10,600 Do you have a screwdriver? Phillips or a flat head? 722 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,600 Let me get a flat head. Actually... 723 00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:16,200 I'm should have no problems hailing a cab with this. 724 00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,960 What's...what's that? A weight. 725 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,240 A little rock? Yeah. 726 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:32,280 Hello. It's a very odd request, but I'm making a television programme. 727 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,960 Can I give you that just to put on your passenger seat? 728 00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:38,040 And just drive away with it. You can have it. 729 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,960 Thank you. 730 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000 Go as far as you can - 20 minutes. 731 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,680 Don't take it off the loo-roll holder. 732 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:57,000 You done? Um, how long have I got left? You've got 11 minutes. 733 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,080 There you go. So you've done it? I'll just have a cup of tea now. 734 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:02,680 Right. 735 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,560 Is that further? Nowhere near. 736 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,120 Actually, what, am I...? 737 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:10,840 I can just go there myself. 738 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,200 WHISTLE BLOWS 739 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,040 Your time's up, Jamali. OK. 740 00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,920 Where's the loo roll? It's way somewhere down there. 741 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,000 I got far and then I kind of got bored, so I came back. 742 00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:32,480 Will I be able to find it? Yeah. Keep on going straight. 743 00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,200 There's like a water fountain. It's next to that. A water fountain? 744 00:35:35,240 --> 00:35:36,560 Yeah. Oh, that's pretty. 745 00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,160 Like a little drinking fountain. Oh, so it's functional? 746 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,400 Yeah, yeah, yeah. OK. Lovely. 747 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:42,640 APPLAUSE 748 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,880 Similar technique by both men, executed differently. 749 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,320 Jamali, I'm going to put it to you, 750 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:49,000 I think you really enjoyed that task. 751 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,920 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I enjoyed... honestly, like, er, 752 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,520 being in that house for so long, you kind of just want to start 753 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,160 ripping shit off the walls. Sweet technique. Yeah. 754 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,000 Worked a treat, I imagine. Yes. How far away did he get it? 755 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,800 Well, 60 giraffes lying end to end. 363 metres. Good. 756 00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,840 Lee, same technique - rip it off the wall. Very clever. 757 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,600 What I enjoyed about it was I think that that woman was genuinely 758 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:13,320 frightened of you. There was a moment when I was close to saying, 759 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,280 "Can I get in?" Yeah. 760 00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:17,360 And as I was about to say it, I looked at her eyes 761 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,160 and I thought she's going to say no. You didn't get the opportunity to 762 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,880 look into her eyes because the last three things you said to her, she 763 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,600 was pretending you weren't there. Obviously, I don't know 764 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,200 the result, but my concern is that she lives, like, very close 765 00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:31,520 to the Taskmaster house. Her name is Rebecca, she wasn't happy, 766 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:33,960 but she was happy to be involved. She wasn't happy at first, 767 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,040 because she didn't recognise you and then she did, 768 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,480 but then she was confused. Right. 769 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,960 She drove to Kew, which is three miles away. 770 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,720 Wow. Right, that's three down and one to go, until someone wins 771 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:47,120 Mike Wozniak's finished loo roll sitting on an old bin. 772 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:48,920 That's what's at stake here. 773 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,360 And you thought climate change was important. Hurry back! 774 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,120 APPLAUSE 775 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:06,600 Hello, here we are again, it's the final part of tonight's Taskmaster. 776 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:08,800 Yes, it's very late, I didn't eat much din-dins 777 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,240 and I'm feeling very weak. 778 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,640 Before the break, they were trying to get the loo roll 779 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,640 the furthest distance from where it started 780 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,600 but the loo roll had to stay in one piece 781 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,760 and the loo roll had to remain on the loo roll holder at all times 782 00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,160 or else the attempt would be null and void. 783 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,160 To help spell out the rules, I've actually put together a little video 784 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:30,400 to show the kind of thing that could cause an instant disqualification. 785 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,440 It says, "The loo roll inner tube must stay on the loo roll holder." 786 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,520 So, why don't we get the loo roll holder off... 787 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,200 ..because it probably unscrews, and then, I can go further. 788 00:37:41,240 --> 00:37:42,840 You've got 19-and-a-half minutes. 789 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:46,840 No. 790 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,160 Oh, my life! You've got to be kidding me. 791 00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:50,520 Can I say one thing - in the break, 792 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:52,920 I looked at Lee and went, "You know, I thought won that one." 793 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:54,400 Lee said, "Yeah, but the thing is 794 00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:56,480 "you don't know what they're gonna spring on you." 795 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,920 Anyway, let me just get my five points. Yeah, that was great. 796 00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,440 Oh, that it is just... That felt so good. 797 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,200 Thank you, Alex. Oh, honestly. 798 00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:08,480 I mean, basically, you've got yourself on a police watchlist. 799 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:09,520 For nothing! 800 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,800 I thought the sugar/salt incident wouldn't get me any more annoyed. 801 00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:16,400 But that... I could kill you, Alex! 802 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,640 That's two in a row. Two in a row for Lee Mack. 803 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:20,480 Let's see how Sarah did. OK. 804 00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,320 Of course, toilet roll is famously used to wipe your down under, 805 00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:25,880 so, does that mean our last competitor will have an advantage? 806 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:27,400 It's Sarah Kendall. 807 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:32,960 OK. I'm just thinking that I should get some supports in place. 808 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,080 Yep. 809 00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:41,400 I think I'm being really ambitious. 810 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,240 All right, OK, so... 811 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,280 I'd love it if I got right out. Yeah. 812 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:48,800 You don't think I'm going to? 813 00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,160 I'm very excited to watch what happens. 814 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:52,200 OK. 815 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:57,040 Oh, fuck. No! No, no. Did that just touch? 816 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,640 It didn't but it was incredibly close. 817 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,760 Oh, right, I see the problem I've got here, 818 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,240 it's gonna start unfurling. Yeah. 819 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:05,000 Ooh. No. No, no, no, no! 820 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,680 Right. Getting somewhere? Yeah, we're getting somewhere. 821 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:13,880 Oh, no, is that wet? 822 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,120 I've got, I've got a sparesy. 823 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:26,840 I'm finished. 824 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,240 WHISTLE Thank you. 825 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:29,280 Thanks. 826 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,200 APPLAUSE 827 00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:34,760 The thing that fascinates me about the whole show, really, 828 00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:37,280 is how quickly that becomes normalised, 829 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:38,880 that I found myself thinking, 830 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,200 ah, she's using the old boot on a bucket system. 831 00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:42,280 LAUGHTER 832 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:46,080 And very wise, stopping to dry the top of a bucket with her arse. 833 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,920 She's an Olympic player, this girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 834 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:51,760 I unearthed the skill set I didn't know I had. 835 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,280 It was great. How far did she get? 836 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,560 Well, it's probably easiest if you picture it in red blood cells. 837 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,400 Two million red blood cells. Wow. Wow. 838 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,240 It's a long way, isn't it? It's not bad. 839 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,200 Just give us some proper statistics. 14 metres. All right. 840 00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:04,800 Weirdly, that is second place, 841 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,200 but Jamali is the winner with 363 metres. 842 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:09,760 There it is! 843 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,440 The first one I won. Is that the first one? It's my first one I won. 844 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,440 Enjoying yourself now, aren't you? I am, yeah. 845 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:16,760 What the show called? Ah, come on! 846 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:18,680 LAUGHTER 847 00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,840 Taskgames? I don't know. Yeah, that'll do. 848 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,080 On with Taskgame! 849 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,680 Yeah, I can tell you, Jamali could still win this one, he's on 16, 850 00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:27,120 Sarah's on 19. 851 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,240 APPLAUSE 852 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:32,720 OK, everyone, please, make your way to the stage 853 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:34,240 for the final task of the show! 854 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:37,800 Do you like it? 855 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:39,880 I think I like it. Yeah? 856 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,480 Who's gonna read it? 857 00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,680 Charlotte Ritchie... Oh, yeah? ..is not gonna read it. OK. 858 00:40:44,720 --> 00:40:46,000 Mike Wozniak's gonna read it. 859 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:50,800 Write down what five things are in the bowl under the table 860 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:53,200 and how many of each thing there are. 861 00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:57,400 You must look at the Taskmaster throughout this task. 862 00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,400 One of your hands must be in the bowl 863 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:03,400 and the other must be holding your pen throughout the task. 864 00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:06,840 You have two minutes. The most accurate answers wins. 865 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,120 You can look at your writing when you're writing 866 00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:11,040 but please don't cheat. 867 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,200 There are five different types of thing in your bowl. 868 00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:15,600 You need to write down what they are and how many there are. 869 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,000 Does that make sense? Yep. Yeah. 870 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,720 Simple as that, five different things. 871 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,120 Are you ready? Your time starts... 872 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,440 BLOWS WHISTLE 873 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:23,600 Look at me. 874 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:24,800 Have a good old rummage. 875 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,040 Ooh. 876 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,040 Identify and count, that's the game, Greg, identify and count. 877 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:30,360 Oh, come on. 878 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:31,800 Look at me. 879 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:33,440 Yeah, as long as you look at Greg. 880 00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:36,240 Please look at Greg, Charlotte. Sorry. 881 00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,480 I'm just watching your eyes there, they did drift. 882 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,040 Um, I had something in my eyes. 883 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:43,360 I blinked, as well. Look at me, Lee. Look at me. 884 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,200 I think Jamali is actually counting. 885 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:47,080 He's still looking at me, though, good boy. 886 00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,360 Don't say that, that was really... really horrifying. 887 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,680 That was actually, like, that actually...disgust... 888 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:54,400 Yeah, keep looking. It's the truth. Stop, stop. Stop. 889 00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,440 I'm your destiny. Look at me. 890 00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,200 Something is emitting an odour. 891 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:01,400 Something is emitting an odour, says Mike Wozniak. 892 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,080 You've got a special treat in yours. 893 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,240 How long left? Lee, look at me. 894 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,200 Worth writing...some stuff down. Yellow card. 895 00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:12,080 That's your catchphrase when you do stand-up, isn't it? Yellow card. 896 00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:13,800 Who got a yellow card there, Greg? Lee did. 897 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:15,880 I've not looked down, I'm looking at the writing. 898 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,360 He's glancing down like a fish. 899 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:19,400 No, I'm looking at the paper that I'm trying to... 900 00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:21,640 You are allowed to look at your writing, that's fine. 901 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:22,760 Let's see. 902 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:24,480 Tick-tock. Five seconds. 903 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:29,440 And... 904 00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:31,240 JAMALI: I'm good. 905 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:32,520 WHISTLE 906 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:33,800 That's your time up, please. 907 00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,400 Both your hands above the table now, please. 908 00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:38,080 Ah, fuck! Ah, come on! 909 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:41,720 Such a mucky pup. 910 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,280 OK, I'm going to ask Charlotte, 911 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,680 tell me one of the things you thought you found. 912 00:42:46,720 --> 00:42:48,720 Well, listen, I'm gonna say ice cubes. 913 00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:50,640 How many? Five. Five ice cubes. 914 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:51,800 Five. Jamali, ice cubes? 915 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,080 I got six. Six. 916 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:54,680 I got four. Four. 917 00:42:54,720 --> 00:42:56,240 Three. Three. 918 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:57,280 Six. Six. 919 00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,800 The correct answer was six. 920 00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,520 Sarah and Jamali, one correct answer. 921 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,240 Jamali, please tell me one of the things you found in your bowl. 922 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:04,920 Hard-boiled eggs. 923 00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,680 Uh, I found eggs, but they weren't hard-boiled. But how many? 924 00:43:07,720 --> 00:43:11,000 I had two. Two. Two soft, non-boiled eggs. 925 00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:12,320 Two eggs. 926 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,440 I said two eggs but I, um, guessed they were, um, like rubber eggs, 927 00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:17,160 not actual eggs. 928 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:18,200 Two. Two. 929 00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:21,000 So, everyone gets a point for that one. Yeah. 930 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,840 Lee, what did you find in your bowl? 931 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:27,960 Well, disappointingly I found, uh...hundreds and thousands. 932 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:30,840 Who else found hundreds and thousands? 933 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,080 I'll do a joke about egg fried hundreds and thousands. 934 00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,400 Yeah, I found hundreds and thousands. Did you? Um, OK. 935 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,240 Did anyone find anything with a consistency of hundr... 936 00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,440 I said rice, and I... I found rice. Rice. Yes. 937 00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:43,000 Rice. And how many grains? 5,000. 5,000. 938 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:46,520 I got, uh, 6,000. 939 00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,720 120,000 grains of rice. 940 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,000 Jamali wins that one, it was 17,000 grains of rice. 941 00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,600 So I win? You were the closest. OK. 942 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,160 Mike, apart from eggs, ice, and hundreds and thousands, 943 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,920 what did you find in your bowl? A premature conker. 944 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:00,400 LAUGHTER 945 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:01,680 A premature conker? 946 00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:03,680 I used to be in a band called Premature Conker. 947 00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:06,000 I remember seeing it. Do you remember? Yeah. Good times. 948 00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,800 Anyone else find anything with a consistency of a premature conker? 949 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,840 I thought they were grapes. No grapes. 950 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:12,480 Plums? No plums. Lee? 951 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:13,920 Olives? No olives. 952 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:15,120 I said an eraser. 953 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:16,640 No-one found my pickled onions. 954 00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:18,200 Oh. 955 00:44:18,240 --> 00:44:20,240 Finally, Sarah, one last item. 956 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:24,280 Uh, it, it felt a blob of, uh, gelatine. 957 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,480 How many jelly? Uh, just one. 958 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,080 One. One jelly. One jelly. One jelly. 959 00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:31,200 I found two, two jellies. Well, there was only one. Mike? 960 00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:33,080 One dead jellyfish. 961 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:37,240 So, everyone, again, apart from Lee and Mike, got that one right. 962 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,160 I used to be in a band called One Dead Jellyfish. 963 00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:40,400 I remember seeing that. 964 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,680 How much was it to get in? Six squid? 965 00:44:42,720 --> 00:44:43,720 GROANING 966 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:44,920 Oh! 967 00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,720 Do you want me to add up these numbers, Greg? 968 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:48,840 Anything to take the taste away. 969 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:50,360 They'd better come down here, 970 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,080 we'll see how all that's affected the final scores. 971 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:56,560 Ah, hi, Greg. 972 00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,040 Hello. Nice to be back. 973 00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,920 Nice to have you back. 974 00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:01,800 Now, that must have affected things a bit. 975 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,720 Jamali identified all of them except for the pickled onions 976 00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,960 cos no-one got the pickled onions, so, he gets the full five points. 977 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,240 Well done. That's my first, second win. Well done. 978 00:45:10,280 --> 00:45:11,280 APPLAUSE 979 00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,240 Sarah got three of the things, she comes second. 980 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:15,360 Charlotte, two of the things so, comes third. 981 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:18,920 The team of two, Mike and Lee, have had a complete shocker this episode, 982 00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,640 they both came last with just one. Aw. Aw. 983 00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:22,400 Which means, in terms of the series, 984 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,400 Jamali is now hot on their tails, 985 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,360 52 points, 57 points, 986 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:27,840 58 points to Lee. 987 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,800 Obviously, Charlotte, a little way back. 988 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:33,560 Sarah, 20 points ahead, on 78 points. 989 00:45:33,600 --> 00:45:34,720 Wow. 990 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,240 That's unfathomable. 991 00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,240 But the winner, 17 points ahead of Mike, 992 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,880 it's the third show she's won in total, 993 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:42,960 it's Sarah Kendall with 23 points! Whoa! 994 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,120 Sarah Kendall wins again! 995 00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,920 Please, go crazy for your craziest things! 996 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 997 00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:51,440 Off you go again! 998 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,080 So, what have we learnt today? 999 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,560 We've had an insight into two very different career trajectories. 1000 00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,040 Cut to two years from now - 1001 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,200 Sarah Kendall steps on to a moonlit city skyline 1002 00:46:03,240 --> 00:46:07,640 as the lead in the new Hollywood super-hero franchise Salt Woman. 1003 00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,360 Back in England, a police car picks up Lee Mack, 1004 00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,280 he's on the M4 with a shopping trolley full of toilet rolls, 1005 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:16,120 shouting, "I thought it was salt. It looked like salt!" 1006 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:20,000 It's bye from us for now, 1007 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,640 but let's end with some more recognition for tonight's winner, 1008 00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:24,160 she's done it again - 1009 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,960 it's Salt Woman, Sarah Kendall! 1010 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,160 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1011 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,560 Subtitles by Red Bee Media