1
00:00:04,130 --> 00:00:05,810
Ah! Nn! Spla! Ooh!
DING!

2
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,770
Is this a joke?

3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,450
Yeah!

4
00:00:13,690 --> 00:00:16,010
Mm. Oh! Urgh!

5
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:18,290
BELL RINGS AND ECHOES

6
00:00:18,330 --> 00:00:20,570
Hrm! Agh!

7
00:00:20,610 --> 00:00:22,330
LAUGHING:Oh, I like that!

8
00:00:22,370 --> 00:00:23,810
Ah! Wow!Hm.

9
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:27,850
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

10
00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:38,170
Hi! Hello! Welcome, each
and every one of you, to Taskmaster.

11
00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:41,490
I'm Greg Davies, and I've kept
my puppy fat into middle age

12
00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:45,210
to make me one cuddly tower
of man beef.

13
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:48,770
But I'm not here to spoon you -
I'm here to pass judgment!

14
00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:52,410
Our five brave warriors are reaching
the end of the competition now

15
00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:54,290
and are coming out the other end

16
00:00:54,330 --> 00:00:57,810
with a better understanding
of themselves thanks to this show.

17
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,170
As one of them put it
to me backstage,

18
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:04,050
"Hold me, I feel like
I've been alone my whole life."

19
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:06,490
Here they are, then,
for the ninth time -

20
00:01:06,530 --> 00:01:09,170
Alan Davies...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

21
00:01:09,210 --> 00:01:11,050
..Desiree Burch...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

22
00:01:11,090 --> 00:01:12,610
..Guz Khan...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

23
00:01:12,650 --> 00:01:14,970
..Morgana Robinson...
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

24
00:01:15,010 --> 00:01:17,770
..and Victoria Coren-Mitchell!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

25
00:01:17,810 --> 00:01:21,050
And now for a man who's
a bit lost when we're off air

26
00:01:21,090 --> 00:01:23,730
and passes the time
by setting himself tasks.

27
00:01:23,770 --> 00:01:27,810
Tasks like, "Try and make yourself
look like a blow-dried otter."

28
00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:30,370
"Cry when you go to the toilet
for a number two

29
00:01:30,410 --> 00:01:33,170
"because you still don't understand
what's happening."

30
00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:38,290
And, "Show off to girls by
pretending you're modest and nice."

31
00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:39,530
It's...

32
00:01:39,570 --> 00:01:43,370
HIGH-PITCHED: ..Little Alex Horne!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

33
00:01:44,450 --> 00:01:47,890
Hello, Greg. I've got
a business proposition for you.

34
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:50,370
Oh, wow.A proposal. Great.

35
00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:53,450
I will offer you 25%
of everything I've got

36
00:01:53,490 --> 00:01:56,810
if I can come round
to your luxury pad... Yeah?

37
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,610
..and that's it.
I just want to visit once. Could I?

38
00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,890
Oh, no.No? No, I'm afraid not.

39
00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:03,490
50% of everything I've got.

40
00:02:03,530 --> 00:02:06,290
No, I don't want anything.
I could come round for 20 minutes,

41
00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:08,130
you can have 80%
of everything I own.

42
00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:10,490
No, I-I-I don't want anything
to do with you.

43
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,850
Yes. Worth a try, though,
wasn't it? Worth a try.

44
00:02:12,890 --> 00:02:15,130
Yeah, it was. Really good.

45
00:02:15,170 --> 00:02:17,810
Right, what's the penultimate
prize task, Alex?

46
00:02:17,850 --> 00:02:22,210
Well, Greg, you demanded they bring
in 40 things that are all the same

47
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:24,250
and can all fit on a towel
and are the best.

48
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,730
That's correct, I did.

49
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,090
Yes. The best same 40 things
that fit on a towel

50
00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,370
will be gifted five huge points

51
00:02:29,410 --> 00:02:32,530
and the winner of today's episode
will take home all 200 things -

52
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:34,890
and we'll even
throw in the towel...s.

53
00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:36,050
Very good.Mm. Morgana?

54
00:02:36,090 --> 00:02:37,690
I knew you'd pick on me.

55
00:02:37,730 --> 00:02:40,010
French fries. OK.

56
00:02:40,050 --> 00:02:42,370
Yes, here are Morgana's 40 chips.

57
00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:46,650
Carbohydrates - they're
the building blocks of society.

58
00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:49,530
You're a very charming woman,
but good luck.

59
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:52,130
Are you serious? Deadly.

60
00:02:52,170 --> 00:02:53,770
Chips are dope!

61
00:02:53,810 --> 00:02:56,810
Any time - hot, cold, sunny...

62
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:58,650
..Riviera, Skegness.

63
00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:01,490
Oh, my God, I...I think McCain
are ringing.

64
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,770
"Ch-chips are dope any time!"

65
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,050
Victoria.Yes?

66
00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:11,010
Er, apart from one absolute
flash of inspiration,

67
00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:13,650
you've traditionally
done terribly in this round.Mm.

68
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:16,010
I put it to you,
you're going to struggle

69
00:03:16,050 --> 00:03:18,330
to do worse than a handful of fries.

70
00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:19,650
Yeah. Ah, well, I...

71
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:22,050
I think I've done better
cos I've also brought food.

72
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:24,410
Shall we have a look?
Here they are.

73
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:25,530
Cherry liqueurs.

74
00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:27,890
I think they are the best thing
just as an absolute.

75
00:03:27,930 --> 00:03:30,610
Some people say
that's, you know, penicillin

76
00:03:30,650 --> 00:03:33,130
or, you know,
the internal combustion engine

77
00:03:33,170 --> 00:03:36,970
or Joyce's Ulysses. I say no -
cherry liqueurs are the best thing.

78
00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:39,330
Sorry to interrupt,
do you think that cherry liqueurs

79
00:03:39,370 --> 00:03:41,210
are better than the internal
combustion engine?

80
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,090
You could say
the internal combustion engine

81
00:03:43,130 --> 00:03:45,450
has ruined the planet. Oh, it has.
And I like Ulysses

82
00:03:45,490 --> 00:03:47,850
but it sort of drags a bit
after chapter 17. It does.

83
00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:49,650
But these - they are perfect.

84
00:03:49,690 --> 00:03:51,290
So it's chocolate or chips so far.

85
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,330
OK. Desiree, what did you bring in?

86
00:03:53,370 --> 00:03:55,970
40 tiny trophies on a towel.

87
00:03:56,010 --> 00:03:59,130
Inside of each trophy
you've also got a pound coin,

88
00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:00,850
because nothing beats money, right?

89
00:04:00,890 --> 00:04:02,410
Like when you get a card
from your mum,

90
00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:03,730
you're like, "Yeah, thanks."

91
00:04:03,770 --> 00:04:06,810
When there's a fiver in it, you're
like, "Holy crap, Mum!" Right? So...

92
00:04:06,850 --> 00:04:08,610
Holy crap, Mum!

93
00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,250
Right?!

94
00:04:11,290 --> 00:04:16,690
That is absolutely delicious.
She's swept in for the big points.

95
00:04:16,730 --> 00:04:17,970
Hey, Guz.

96
00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:20,450
Tell you what I bought in. Good.

97
00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:22,730
40 tennis balls on a massive towel.

98
00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:23,970
Oh, God.Here they are.

99
00:04:25,770 --> 00:04:27,410
Here they are.

100
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:31,290
Let me explain, let me explain.
You see tennis balls now, yeah?

101
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:33,250
You just think they're for tennis.

102
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:35,970
No! they can immediately
turn any situation

103
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:37,570
into a competitive situation.

104
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:40,170
Look, I've got a tennis ball here.
Bow! Hit it!

105
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:43,090
If your nan's got osteoporosis,
roll it to your nan.

106
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,450
Or if you want to get aggressive...
Why am I the nan?

107
00:04:45,490 --> 00:04:47,810
..and she's quite fit and healthy,
just lob it! Bang!

108
00:04:47,850 --> 00:04:49,850
BALL THUDS OFF SET

109
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,130
Look how the whole game changed!

110
00:04:52,170 --> 00:04:53,170
Did I hear you right?

111
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:55,010
"If your nan's got osteoporosis...

112
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,010
"..roll it to her - bam"?

113
00:04:58,050 --> 00:04:59,850
Yeah, like, gently to her.

114
00:04:59,890 --> 00:05:03,850
Right, Alan. The pressure's on
for you to beat everybody.

115
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:04,970
N-nearly everybody.

116
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,730
I sort of focused
on the towel, really.

117
00:05:08,770 --> 00:05:11,090
And I managed to find
a commemorative towel

118
00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:12,330
from your home town, Wem.

119
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:13,770
Ooh!
GREG GASPS

120
00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:14,810
Clever. Oh!

121
00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:19,210
And atop it, I have 40 tiny glasses
of fizzy Blue Nun.

122
00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:22,330
My favourite wine.
DESIREE:Whoa.

123
00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:24,290
GUZ:That is, that's strong, bro.
Wow, OK.

124
00:05:24,330 --> 00:05:25,890
Oh, Wem.

125
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:27,490
Land of my father!

126
00:05:29,490 --> 00:05:31,050
I'm ready to make judgment.

127
00:05:32,690 --> 00:05:34,130
Chips, one point.

128
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:36,410
One point to Morgana.

129
00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:38,410
This is really controversial,
I think.

130
00:05:38,450 --> 00:05:40,410
I think I'm going to get in trouble
for this.

131
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:41,610
Two points to Victoria

132
00:05:41,650 --> 00:05:45,050
because I really want his towel
full of coloured tennis balls.

133
00:05:45,090 --> 00:05:46,330
I haven't even got a nan!

134
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:50,810
So two to Victoria. Yeah.Right.

135
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,930
Three to Guz.
Er, Desiree, you almost took it,

136
00:05:53,970 --> 00:05:57,410
but he's tapped into personal
sentimentality for me, and ego.

137
00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,810
Yeah. But you came very close -
four points to Desiree.

138
00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:01,330
Five points to Alan.

139
00:06:01,370 --> 00:06:03,090
And Wem forever!

140
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,090
Five points to Alan.
APPLAUSE

141
00:06:05,130 --> 00:06:06,690
There it is.

142
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,530
OK, what's first, Alex?

143
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,690
We're going to have a bit of
a chinwag and some idle chitchat.

144
00:06:12,730 --> 00:06:14,970
Ooh!

145
00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:18,210
PHONES RING

146
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:27,090
ENGAGED TONE AND LINE CLICKS

147
00:06:27,130 --> 00:06:29,450
Oh, is it like an advent calendar?

148
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,730
What do you mean?

149
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:32,890
Oh.

150
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:34,450
Do you have a favourite number,
Alan?

151
00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,810
I normally say 7
but actually I quite like 12.

152
00:06:36,850 --> 00:06:38,170
What do you think of 5?

153
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,210
Excellent. Versatile.

154
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:46,290
Prime number, so happy alone
or with friends.

155
00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:50,410
Oh, my God.

156
00:06:50,450 --> 00:06:52,770
"Have the longest
telephone conversation

157
00:06:52,810 --> 00:06:54,650
without the other person knowing

158
00:06:54,690 --> 00:06:59,050
"you are trying to have a long
telephone conversation." Understood.

159
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:00,450
This is awful.

160
00:07:00,490 --> 00:07:05,130
"During the call, you must not
mention television or Taskmaster."

161
00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:07,730
This is awful.

162
00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:10,010
"Every minute, you must reveal

163
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:13,210
"and carry out an action
from the board."

164
00:07:13,250 --> 00:07:14,970
Oh!

165
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:19,170
OH...!

166
00:07:19,210 --> 00:07:22,930
"If the person you call says
any of the key words,

167
00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:24,730
"you must hang up immediately."

168
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:28,050
Oh! This is awful! This is awful!

169
00:07:28,090 --> 00:07:31,570
"You must call someone
within two minutes from now."

170
00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:32,810
All right.

171
00:07:32,850 --> 00:07:34,050
Oh...

172
00:07:35,650 --> 00:07:37,610
Victoria?

173
00:07:37,650 --> 00:07:39,530
I've got no idea who to ring.

174
00:07:39,570 --> 00:07:42,250
I think I'm going to call my mum.
Mrs Morgana?

175
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:44,130
Actually I'm going to call my dog.

176
00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:47,450
It doesn't have... It doesn't
have a phone, does it? Um...

177
00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:51,770
Oh! It's not fair! Just awful!

178
00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,410
My best friend. My comrade.

179
00:07:53,450 --> 00:07:54,770
No, not you this time, sorry.

180
00:07:54,810 --> 00:07:56,490
You're going to get there one day.
Not now.

181
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,210
I'm going to ring the water board,

182
00:07:58,250 --> 00:08:01,530
cos they've recently sent me
an absolutely enormous bill

183
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,930
for a leak that wasn't my fault.

184
00:08:03,970 --> 00:08:05,530
Just... Oh!
SHE LAUGHS

185
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,250
I could ring... No.

186
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:09,730
OK, OK, OK.

187
00:08:09,770 --> 00:08:11,130
WHISPERING:This is awful.

188
00:08:13,970 --> 00:08:16,970
Given that you can contact anyone,
why is this such-such a horror?

189
00:08:17,010 --> 00:08:19,450
Oh...it was awful.

190
00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:22,330
I'm not a practical joke person.
No.

191
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:26,730
I find practical jokes aggressive...
Awful. ..and-and... Oh!

192
00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:28,130
Look, let's crack on.
Let's have a look.

193
00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:31,170
We're going to get Victoria's shame
out the way, and... Oh!

194
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:33,130
..add to it
with a little bit of Guz.

195
00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:34,730
Here we go, Victoria and Guz.

196
00:08:34,770 --> 00:08:36,770
Oh...!

197
00:08:36,810 --> 00:08:39,050
Oh! Off we go.

198
00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:40,450
Right. So...

199
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:42,330
LINE RINGS

200
00:08:42,370 --> 00:08:44,730
Hello. Hello, how are you?

201
00:08:44,770 --> 00:08:45,970
I'm all right.

202
00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:47,690
Yo.Sorry, I was on the phone.

203
00:08:47,730 --> 00:08:49,370
Who were you on the phone to, blud?

204
00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:51,210
A supplier.
I need to phone them back.

205
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,090
No, it's really urgent shit, blud.
That's why it's really urgent shit.

206
00:08:54,130 --> 00:08:56,050
There's something I really
need to convey to you

207
00:08:56,090 --> 00:08:57,930
because of this serious situation.

208
00:08:57,970 --> 00:09:01,730
HE YAWNS

209
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:10,050
Sorry, blud. My flipping... You know
it's cos I ain't been getting sleep.

210
00:09:10,090 --> 00:09:12,930
Blud, I've been stressed.
What you stressed for?

211
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,410
Just life, brother, life.
We're getting older.

212
00:09:16,450 --> 00:09:17,770
What have...what have...?

213
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:25,370
What-what-what-what have...
what have you been up to?

214
00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:27,850
The same old, same old,
nothing very exciting.

215
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:30,930
LAUGHING:I've had a bit of a...

216
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:33,290
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Do you know what?

217
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:34,570
I'm sorry, I, um...

218
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,970
You're in a giggly mood.
Been afternoon drinking?

219
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,330
I haven't been afternoon drinking.
You know what?

220
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,690
I haven't been drinking that much
cos I had weird thing

221
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:44,050
with the dentist and weirdly
I had a problem with my tongue.

222
00:09:44,090 --> 00:09:46,410
I won't tell you about that,
but I've been drinking less.

223
00:09:46,450 --> 00:09:47,850
But how have you...?
how have you been?

224
00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:50,530
BUZZER
A mixed couple of weeks but, er...

225
00:09:50,570 --> 00:09:53,450
It's been a terrible year.
No, it has been a bad year.

226
00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:56,810
LAUGHING:This is impossible!

227
00:09:56,850 --> 00:09:59,650
You have got the giggles!
I have got... Honestly.

228
00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:00,810
Grr!

229
00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:03,570
I need to call her back.

230
00:10:03,610 --> 00:10:06,010
No, but hold on listen,
she can...she can wait.

231
00:10:06,050 --> 00:10:07,610
Bill, you've not been giving me

232
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:09,970
the kind of attention that I deserve
of late, of recent.

233
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:12,330
I feel like our spiritual connection
has gone, brother.

234
00:10:12,370 --> 00:10:16,730
Well, you know it's a tough world.
It doesn't get any easier.

235
00:10:16,770 --> 00:10:17,570
Grr!

236
00:10:19,050 --> 00:10:20,770
BUZZER
Me and you are never not going to be

237
00:10:20,810 --> 00:10:23,690
what we're supposed to be and what
me and you's supposed to be, Bill,

238
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:26,850
is-is brothers. Is brothers.

239
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:29,770
And we know that lady can wait.
Hold on.

240
00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:31,010
BUZZER

241
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,170
Yeah, I should have, um...

242
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,730
Well, that won't be a problem.
SHE LAUGHS

243
00:10:34,770 --> 00:10:36,570
We're going to get real serious
now.

244
00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:41,330
HE PLAYS

245
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,690
..gave me a big, slobbery kiss.

246
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:47,490
But it's nice
that you went out, though.

247
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:51,450
LAUGHING:Cos it's been
weird weather. Hasn't it?

248
00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:52,570
Yeah.

249
00:10:54,050 --> 00:10:55,090
Don't put pressure on me.

250
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:57,450
I'm trying to express myself
in different ways, bro.

251
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,250
We've known each other 25 years and
you ain't heard me do this before.

252
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:03,210
HE PLAYS

253
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,570
It sounds like I'm playing what?
Harmonica.

254
00:11:05,610 --> 00:11:07,450
You're a clever wallah. Here you...

255
00:11:07,490 --> 00:11:09,330
ALEX, WHISPERING:
You have to hang up.

256
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:10,610
Oh...

257
00:11:10,650 --> 00:11:13,010
There was a lovely rainbow,
did you see that?

258
00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:15,850
No, I-I must have missed
the rainbow.

259
00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:18,650
Oh! I'll-I'll call you later,
I'll call you later.

260
00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:20,930
OK.

261
00:11:20,970 --> 00:11:23,330
I forgot they had to not say it!

262
00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,930
I can't believe he said harmonica.
He didn't even...

263
00:11:25,970 --> 00:11:28,570
He didn't even get any GCSEs
and he knows what a harmonica is.

264
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:30,490
What a guy!

265
00:11:30,530 --> 00:11:33,770
APPLAUSE

266
00:11:33,810 --> 00:11:37,450
This is absolutely one
of my favourite tasks ever.

267
00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,810
You did a lovely bit of work
with the tongue thing.

268
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:43,170
You very quickly moved on
from the subject.Yes.

269
00:11:43,210 --> 00:11:45,530
Guaranteeing that
he wouldn't repeat it,

270
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:50,370
but I think he helped you throughout
by sounding pretty down.

271
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,810
LAUGHING:He did!

272
00:11:51,850 --> 00:11:53,210
I wrote down a couple of things.

273
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,850
"Oh, it's been a terrible year.

274
00:11:54,890 --> 00:11:56,890
"It's a tough world,
it never gets easier."

275
00:11:56,930 --> 00:11:59,890
So he-he was filling
your silences nicely.

276
00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:02,250
You don't even see your friends
for months at a time,

277
00:12:02,290 --> 00:12:04,730
it was a bad period of time where
we just weren't seeing our friends

278
00:12:04,770 --> 00:12:07,090
so when you ring,
it really means something to them -

279
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:09,450
"Oh, it's lovely to hear from you" -
and what they want is...

280
00:12:09,490 --> 00:12:11,810
They don't want you there -
"Grr! What weird weather!

281
00:12:11,850 --> 00:12:14,090
"Ooh, my tongue's strange."

282
00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:15,930
It's not the conversation...

283
00:12:15,970 --> 00:12:17,770
I think you probably
gave him a lift!

284
00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:21,930
It's a good job it's your best
friend, Guz, that you rang,

285
00:12:21,970 --> 00:12:24,890
because you went in
pretty hard on him.

286
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:27,530
The way you were blowing
the harmonica,

287
00:12:27,570 --> 00:12:30,210
to say, "Don't put pressure on me,

288
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,050
"we've known each other
for 25 years

289
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:36,290
"and I'm trying to express myself
in different ways."

290
00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:42,050
He did go unfortunately, though,
in the second minute.

291
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:45,450
1 minute 46 was the length
of his phone call. Oh, no. Oh.

292
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,370
Compared to 3 minutes 41 till
Victoria's friend said rainbow.

293
00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:50,850
So it's a...
It felt like 1,000 years.

294
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:52,570
So Victoria is in the lead.

295
00:12:52,610 --> 00:12:54,370
So far. Next up, it's time to learn

296
00:12:54,410 --> 00:12:57,330
how Alan Davies
speaks to people on the phone.

297
00:12:57,370 --> 00:13:01,330
LINE RINGS

298
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:04,490
Hello? Hey. Hey, Bec, how are you?

299
00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:05,970
Hey! Good. How are you?

300
00:13:06,010 --> 00:13:08,450
I'm all right. I...

301
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:13,370
I've just...
HE YAWNS

302
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,650
..been napping.

303
00:13:15,690 --> 00:13:17,930
You've just called me to yawn?!

304
00:13:17,970 --> 00:13:19,930
Ah, you've got to hang up now. Oh.

305
00:13:19,970 --> 00:13:21,770
Got to hang up now.

306
00:13:25,610 --> 00:13:27,090
Ah...

307
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:28,370
Ah.

308
00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:29,690
I'm going to have to text her.

309
00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:32,570
I haven't texted her
for a couple of years.

310
00:13:32,610 --> 00:13:35,570
Not even seen her
since I went to her wedding in 2015.

311
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:40,410
Oh, I'd better ring Bec.

312
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:42,210
Oh. OK. Thanks, Alan.

313
00:13:43,930 --> 00:13:47,530
Wow. I mean,
it couldn't have gone worse.

314
00:13:47,570 --> 00:13:48,730
I actually don't think...

315
00:13:48,770 --> 00:13:51,930
I can't remember
ever talking to her on the phone.

316
00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:53,410
So she must have thought,

317
00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,450
"This is a bit weird for Alan Davies
to ring me."

318
00:13:55,490 --> 00:13:59,170
"Someone must have died
or something!"

319
00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:00,730
OK, let's have a break.

320
00:14:00,770 --> 00:14:03,570
Not for good, silly.
It's a trial separation.

321
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,570
I'm crazy about you.

322
00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:08,210
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

323
00:14:11,770 --> 00:14:12,210
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

324
00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,930
Hello, and welcome back!

325
00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:17,370
Before the break, there were some
protracted conversations going on.

326
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:19,090
Yes, the contestants
are trying to have

327
00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:21,450
the longest conversations
with an unsuspecting contact

328
00:14:21,490 --> 00:14:23,970
while completing little extra tasks
along the way.

329
00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:26,330
And if their contact says
any of the key words,

330
00:14:26,370 --> 00:14:27,970
they must hang up immediately.

331
00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:32,050
Finally it's the garrulous Desiree
and the loquacious Morgana.

332
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:33,290
Mm.

333
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,730
Oh, God.

334
00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:37,890
I don't even know what I'm doing.
Shall we just do it? Good luck.

335
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:39,730
LINE RINGS

336
00:14:39,770 --> 00:14:42,810
Good morning.
Good morning, how are you doing?

337
00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:43,930
Yeah, well.

338
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,290
SHE YAWNS

339
00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:50,010
THEY ALSO YAWN
Got to work that out.

340
00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:52,850
Hello.Hello. How are you?

341
00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:54,490
Oh, I'm OK, I'm OK.

342
00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:57,690
We're just having
a very late lunch. Oh, my God!

343
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,530
I know, so late.

344
00:14:59,570 --> 00:15:03,530
I was just like,
"Oh, Morga-a-a-ana-a-a-a!"

345
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,170
BUZZER

346
00:15:05,210 --> 00:15:06,570
De...

347
00:15:06,610 --> 00:15:08,290
..ate a meal with, er...

348
00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,890
..sir... ..the NCCA and...

349
00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:13,930
..ree?

350
00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,930
How's the doggy? Oh, doggy's fine.

351
00:15:15,970 --> 00:15:18,850
And I thought, you know, when you're
doing your tasks when you sit down

352
00:15:18,890 --> 00:15:20,450
and talk about what you're doing,

353
00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:22,210
you could bring your name up
then anyway.

354
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,890
WHISPERING:You have to hang up.
A bit of leftover...

355
00:15:26,090 --> 00:15:27,210
BUZZER

356
00:15:27,250 --> 00:15:31,130
..your drama club donation -
I deeply appreciate it.Of course.

357
00:15:31,170 --> 00:15:33,410
Rargh!

358
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:34,330
BUZZER

359
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:37,170
How was your Thanksgiving?
Oh, I actually wound up

360
00:15:37,210 --> 00:15:40,890
getting this lovely company,
er, delivering food

361
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,610
but one of the things just like...

362
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,970
I don't know if it's a new allergy,
it just made my tongue swell up

363
00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:47,730
and I was like, "Yeah, uh... Huh?!"

364
00:15:47,770 --> 00:15:50,170
I think it might have been
the cranberry sauce,

365
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,850
which is weird cos, er, cranberry's
supposed to be so good for you

366
00:15:52,890 --> 00:15:55,210
but, you know,
I guess it gets rid of UTIs

367
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,930
and gives you, um....
other lovely problems.

368
00:15:56,970 --> 00:15:57,970
SHE MOUTHS

369
00:15:58,010 --> 00:15:59,010
BUZZER

370
00:15:59,050 --> 00:16:01,370
Did you have
a terrible vegan Thanksgiving?

371
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:04,610
Actually, it was really tasty
with my parents.

372
00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:06,490
We got to have, like,
the official thing -

373
00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:11,370
the turkey, mashers and, you know,
mac and cheese, pumpkin bread

374
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:15,010
and all the stuff, which was great.
and then Thanksgiving brunch.

375
00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:16,410
But it was good.

376
00:16:16,450 --> 00:16:17,570
BUZZER

377
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,570
I was thinking this morning
about how many different people

378
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:23,450
you get to be, you know,
in-in one lifetime.

379
00:16:23,490 --> 00:16:26,570
BUZZER
Yeah, I get to... Yeah, I suppose.

380
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:29,090
I mean, it's weird cos while
you're doing the ceremony,

381
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:31,570
I imagine you're quite isolated.

382
00:16:31,610 --> 00:16:34,170
I mean, it's kind of not
as bad as getting drunk.

383
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,210
BUZZER

384
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,090
What are you up to right now?
How was this year?

385
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,410
I mean, it was... Yeah, like...

386
00:16:39,450 --> 00:16:42,050
It was a really
good learning experience.

387
00:16:42,090 --> 00:16:45,690
Um, have you ever seen a rainbow?

388
00:16:45,730 --> 00:16:47,090
Is this a trick question?

389
00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:49,450
No, I mean, just have
you ever seen a rainbow?

390
00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:50,970
You know, er, like it is...

391
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,450
It's kind of both there
and not there.

392
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:56,170
And I love that you think of
the rainbow, that you're...

393
00:16:56,210 --> 00:16:57,530
BUZZER

394
00:16:57,570 --> 00:16:59,330
Ugh!

395
00:16:59,370 --> 00:17:01,610
SHE LAUGHS

396
00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:06,770
Um... Damn, we were so close.
We almost had it all, Dave. Fine.

397
00:17:06,810 --> 00:17:10,610
That was...that was sick! Come on!
APPLAUSE

398
00:17:12,570 --> 00:17:15,490
That's two ones in a row now.
The good news, Greg, for Morgana

399
00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,850
is that it still
wasn't nearly as bad as Alan.

400
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:19,890
It was 53 seconds compared to 20.

401
00:17:19,930 --> 00:17:22,370
Desiree, er, who did you ring?
Was it a friend, or...?

402
00:17:22,410 --> 00:17:24,930
Yes, it was my best friend, Dave.
So... Right.

403
00:17:24,970 --> 00:17:27,730
..yeah, he will accept me
in any condition. So...

404
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:30,010
I knew it was going to be a long one

405
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:33,730
when you, er, opened by yawning
at Dave and he simply yawned back.

406
00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:34,770
Yeah!

407
00:17:36,170 --> 00:17:38,770
It just seemed like
two friends who were...

408
00:17:38,810 --> 00:17:40,770
..really comfortable
in each other's company.

409
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,330
You played the right game.
You avoided the words beautifully.

410
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:45,370
But then, after a certain point,

411
00:17:45,410 --> 00:17:47,730
you just sounded
like you were both stoned.

412
00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:48,850
Yeah. No...

413
00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:51,410
8 minutes 27 -
very impressive from Desiree.

414
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:53,770
So Alan gets one point,
two to Morgana,

415
00:17:53,810 --> 00:17:55,290
three to Guz with his 1 minute 46,

416
00:17:55,330 --> 00:17:56,850
four points to Victoria,

417
00:17:56,890 --> 00:17:59,770
but five to Desiree
with her 8 minutes 26. There it is.

418
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:02,450
Oh, yes. Thank you, Dave.

419
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:03,970
Hey, let's see a scoreboard then.

420
00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:07,850
In this episode,
they've all got multiples of three.

421
00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:10,290
Morgana on three,
Victoria, Guz and Alan all on six,

422
00:18:10,330 --> 00:18:13,050
Desiree's in the lead
with nine points! Marvellous.

423
00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:14,890
APPLAUSE

424
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:17,370
Give me more!

425
00:18:17,410 --> 00:18:19,010
Sure. Yes, more. Here we go.

426
00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:22,050
This one is a discombobulating game
of hide and seek.

427
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:24,810
SPOOKY MUSIC

428
00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:26,130
RAVENS CAW

429
00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:33,410
GHOSTLY WHISPERING: Guz... Alan...

430
00:18:33,450 --> 00:18:37,450
Victoria... Morgana...

431
00:18:37,490 --> 00:18:38,730
Oh, hello there.

432
00:18:38,770 --> 00:18:40,170
How's it going?

433
00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:43,450
This is not...
Nothing makes any sense.

434
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,770
Quite restricted peripherally.

435
00:18:45,810 --> 00:18:48,130
You're restricted peripherally?
Yeah.

436
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,730
I look like a superhero, don't I?

437
00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:53,450
"Strike the soldier
with your throwing paint."

438
00:18:53,490 --> 00:18:55,810
Which apparently
is a thing I have.

439
00:18:55,850 --> 00:18:58,090
Are you a soldier?

440
00:18:58,130 --> 00:18:59,250
No.

441
00:18:59,290 --> 00:19:01,770
BEEPING

442
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:09,050
"The soldier will say your name
every five seconds."

443
00:19:09,090 --> 00:19:11,850
"You may not remove
or tamper with your helmet."

444
00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:13,410
"Fastest wins."

445
00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:16,810
"My time starts when
I'm correctly wearing my helmet."

446
00:19:18,530 --> 00:19:20,850
You're wearing half the helmet,
Alan. Am I?

447
00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:23,130
That's the other half.

448
00:19:23,170 --> 00:19:25,890
But that should help you
find the soldier. OK.

449
00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:28,210
I can barely see as it is?

450
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,170
Oh, my goodness!

451
00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:31,650
Ooh, weird.

452
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:34,010
MORGANA: Oh, God. This is horrible.

453
00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:35,330
Huh?

454
00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:37,090
What can you see, Guz?

455
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:40,450
Oh, I see. You're cheeky.
You're a cheeky man, Alex.

456
00:19:40,490 --> 00:19:44,450
I can see... Oh, well, that's...
Wait. This is ridiculous.

457
00:19:44,490 --> 00:19:47,370
You're talking to me
from, I guess, here,

458
00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:49,650
and I'm seeing you there.

459
00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:52,170
I can see, er, behind me.

460
00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:55,370
Great. So I'm holding
your throwing paint. Yeah?

461
00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:57,410
I've also got a big stick
called a nipper

462
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:58,850
and if you bump into anything,

463
00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:01,490
I'm going to prod you with it
to stop it happening.

464
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:04,290
Is it electric? I don't think so.

465
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,650
OK, it looked like
the one they use on cows.

466
00:20:06,690 --> 00:20:07,810
So I-I'm starting the clock.

467
00:20:07,850 --> 00:20:09,770
Argh! And you're there?
I'm starting the clock,

468
00:20:09,810 --> 00:20:12,410
and the soldier will say your name
every five seconds.

469
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:14,250
RADIO FEEDS BACK
Victoria.

470
00:20:14,290 --> 00:20:18,650
ECHOING:Victoria...Victoria...
Victoria...Victoria...

471
00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:21,130
A classic eyes in the back
of your head game.

472
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:22,810
It is eyes in the back of
the head time.

473
00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:25,250
We're going to see Desiree
and Guz first of all.

474
00:20:26,770 --> 00:20:28,570
RADIO FEEDS BACK
Desiree.

475
00:20:28,610 --> 00:20:32,010
ECHOING: Desiree...Desiree...

476
00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:36,890
This is the beginning
of a very weird horror film.

477
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:39,370
OK. I see you.

478
00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:40,890
SOLDIER, ECHOING: Guz.

479
00:20:40,930 --> 00:20:42,530
Who said my name?

480
00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:43,730
Desiree.

481
00:20:43,770 --> 00:20:46,290
All right, homey, I'm coming.

482
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:48,570
BEEPING

483
00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:51,770
Guz.

484
00:20:58,210 --> 00:21:00,130
You really take your eyes
for granted

485
00:21:00,170 --> 00:21:02,410
until everything's backwards.

486
00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,570
Desiree.

487
00:21:03,610 --> 00:21:05,250
Oh. Is that it? Oh, wait.
I should...

488
00:21:05,290 --> 00:21:06,890
You're just about to hit it.

489
00:21:06,930 --> 00:21:08,210
Was that him?

490
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:10,130
I'll put it back up.

491
00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:11,330
Guz.

492
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:12,490
Who is that?

493
00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:18,010
Guz.

494
00:21:20,490 --> 00:21:21,690
Where's he's actually gone?

495
00:21:21,730 --> 00:21:24,290
Is that a soldier
or a walkie talkie?

496
00:21:24,330 --> 00:21:25,810
What? Wait...

497
00:21:25,850 --> 00:21:26,930
Desiree.

498
00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:29,810
Oh. Well, how is that supposed
to help me?

499
00:21:29,850 --> 00:21:32,090
Where is he, man?

500
00:21:32,130 --> 00:21:33,130
Guz.

501
00:21:36,890 --> 00:21:38,290
Dude, where are you?

502
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:41,010
I think he can only say "Desiree".
Ugh!

503
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:42,810
Guz.

504
00:21:42,850 --> 00:21:44,010
Hello.

505
00:21:44,050 --> 00:21:46,570
Desiree.This...
Why am I taking this with me?

506
00:21:46,610 --> 00:21:48,330
Surely that's not going to help.

507
00:21:48,370 --> 00:21:49,530
RADIO CHIRPS

508
00:21:49,570 --> 00:21:52,130
Whoa! Who's that?

509
00:21:52,170 --> 00:21:54,490
Sofa.
RADIO CHIRPS

510
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:55,850
Alex, see the technique I'm using?

511
00:21:55,890 --> 00:21:58,210
Yeah, you're pressing the button
to make noises.

512
00:21:58,250 --> 00:21:59,570
It goes "beep-beep" - like that.

513
00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:01,130
Yeah.
RADIO CHIRPS

514
00:22:03,050 --> 00:22:04,330
Is there any more danger?

515
00:22:04,370 --> 00:22:06,250
Er, yeah, there's danger
right in front of you.

516
00:22:06,290 --> 00:22:07,610
THUD!
Oh!

517
00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:09,570
There's... That's a big glass panel.
Yeah.

518
00:22:09,610 --> 00:22:10,730
Desiree.

519
00:22:10,770 --> 00:22:12,570
Is this the door?

520
00:22:12,610 --> 00:22:14,890
Desiree.Yeah!

521
00:22:14,930 --> 00:22:16,730
Where are you, mate?
I'm coming for you.

522
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,210
RADIO CHIRPS

523
00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:19,970
Guz.

524
00:22:20,010 --> 00:22:21,850
What is this attached to, brother?

525
00:22:21,890 --> 00:22:23,890
What's that?

526
00:22:23,930 --> 00:22:25,610
Is this going to take me
where I need to go?

527
00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:26,890
Guz.

528
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,330
Don't you worry, Guz is coming.

529
00:22:28,370 --> 00:22:32,010
RADIO FEEDS BACK
Desiree.

530
00:22:35,410 --> 00:22:37,370
Yeah, there is a pond
ahead of you now, so...

531
00:22:37,410 --> 00:22:40,450
There's a what? There's a pond?!
Yeah, there's a little pond.

532
00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:44,330
Guz.

533
00:22:44,370 --> 00:22:45,730
I'll give you "Guz".

534
00:22:48,330 --> 00:22:50,650
You have struck the soldier
with the paint.

535
00:22:50,690 --> 00:22:53,490
APPLAUSE

536
00:22:57,770 --> 00:23:00,570
Desiree worked out that
the walkie talkie was a red herring,

537
00:23:00,610 --> 00:23:04,130
and she often walked backwards,
which makes sense

538
00:23:04,170 --> 00:23:06,490
because her eyes
are in the back of her head.

539
00:23:06,530 --> 00:23:08,850
Guz, you went for
a slightly different technique.

540
00:23:08,890 --> 00:23:11,170
LAUGHTER

541
00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:14,090
You went for walking forwards

542
00:23:14,130 --> 00:23:17,090
and occasionally taking up
an aggressive ninja stance.

543
00:23:18,490 --> 00:23:21,850
The thing is, he's not
the best person to be with

544
00:23:21,890 --> 00:23:24,410
if impending danger
is round the corner, yeah?

545
00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:27,970
You could...Cos... You could have
stopped that sentence way earlier.

546
00:23:29,610 --> 00:23:32,570
He was late on it. And I could
see him in that camera, innit,

547
00:23:32,610 --> 00:23:34,490
and he had a little smile on
his face... Yeah.

548
00:23:34,530 --> 00:23:36,490
..when I was about
to bump into something,

549
00:23:36,530 --> 00:23:38,250
and he'd just tell you
at the last second.

550
00:23:38,290 --> 00:23:40,610
"Oh, be careful."
Do you know what I mean?

551
00:23:40,650 --> 00:23:42,970
But he wanted you
to hurt yourself - that's him. Yeah.

552
00:23:43,010 --> 00:23:44,690
I didn't want to...
I just didn't want to...

553
00:23:44,730 --> 00:23:47,090
I didn't want to nip in too early
if the nip was unnecessary,

554
00:23:47,130 --> 00:23:49,690
then sometimes I was too late.
12 minutes 54 from Guz. Wow.

555
00:23:49,730 --> 00:23:52,170
And what was Desiree's?
8 minutes 30.

556
00:23:52,210 --> 00:23:54,690
Oh, hey. Pretty swift.
So far the fastest.

557
00:23:54,730 --> 00:23:55,930
Advert time!

558
00:23:55,970 --> 00:23:58,450
Go and order a load
of plastic stuff you don't need

559
00:23:58,490 --> 00:24:01,170
so that a billionaire
can waste money on rockets.

560
00:24:01,210 --> 00:24:03,450
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

561
00:24:07,290 --> 00:24:08,130
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

562
00:24:08,170 --> 00:24:10,890
Hello!Here we are again.

563
00:24:10,930 --> 00:24:12,090
I know, right?

564
00:24:12,130 --> 00:24:14,770
Before the break, there was
a man hiding, and there still is.

565
00:24:14,810 --> 00:24:17,130
With a camera feed showing
only what's behind them,

566
00:24:17,170 --> 00:24:19,090
our rivals had to tread carefully
but swiftly

567
00:24:19,130 --> 00:24:21,450
to find the silly soldier
in the ghillie suit.

568
00:24:21,490 --> 00:24:24,730
Next it's good old, old Alan,
and Victoria.

569
00:24:26,570 --> 00:24:28,290
Um... Alan.

570
00:24:28,330 --> 00:24:30,570
Ooh, I heard someone say my name.

571
00:24:30,610 --> 00:24:33,370
LAUGHING:Came from that direction.

572
00:24:33,410 --> 00:24:35,810
Ah, this is really strange.

573
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,250
Victoria.

574
00:24:37,290 --> 00:24:38,570
Ah!

575
00:24:38,610 --> 00:24:39,650
Alan.

576
00:24:39,690 --> 00:24:41,450
Yes, all right. I know.
I-I'm coming.

577
00:24:41,490 --> 00:24:42,530
Victoria.

578
00:24:42,570 --> 00:24:45,330
I... Can they say something else?

579
00:24:45,370 --> 00:24:47,210
Can't even think where my hand is.

580
00:24:48,570 --> 00:24:50,810
Is that him standing on the pillar?

581
00:24:53,610 --> 00:24:56,010
HE LAUGHS

582
00:24:56,050 --> 00:24:58,290
Victoria.Ah! Stop it!

583
00:24:58,330 --> 00:25:00,330
Why do they keep saying "Victoria"?

584
00:25:02,410 --> 00:25:03,490
Victoria.Ah!

585
00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:06,970
Oh, that didn't help, did it?

586
00:25:07,010 --> 00:25:08,050
Alan.

587
00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:11,930
Ah. You've gone off somewhere else.

588
00:25:11,970 --> 00:25:13,850
Victoria.

589
00:25:13,890 --> 00:25:16,410
What shall I do, then?
What do you think you should do?

590
00:25:16,450 --> 00:25:17,850
Turn it off, make it stop.

591
00:25:17,890 --> 00:25:20,730
I'm coming upon
another walkie talkie.

592
00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:23,770
It's got something attached to it.
What does that do?

593
00:25:25,170 --> 00:25:27,450
I can't see a soldiser. Alan.

594
00:25:27,490 --> 00:25:28,490
What?

595
00:25:29,530 --> 00:25:30,770
Ooh...

596
00:25:30,810 --> 00:25:32,330
Oh, that's outside.

597
00:25:32,370 --> 00:25:35,410
Oh, my lord. Should I go outside?

598
00:25:35,450 --> 00:25:36,570
Victoria.

599
00:25:36,610 --> 00:25:39,570
I don't even really understand where
that door is, never mind the voice.

600
00:25:39,610 --> 00:25:40,730
Which door?

601
00:25:40,770 --> 00:25:43,410
Well, is that a door?
Is it a window?

602
00:25:43,450 --> 00:25:46,530
LAUGHING:I can't tell.
I think there's a door somewhere.

603
00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:48,570
There is a door
directly behind you. Alan.

604
00:25:48,610 --> 00:25:51,890
What's this here?
Is this a direction?

605
00:25:51,930 --> 00:25:53,570
HE LAUGHS

606
00:25:53,610 --> 00:25:55,890
Can I just stay here?

607
00:25:55,930 --> 00:25:59,610
Oh! So it means it's here, right?
Wh-what is there?

608
00:25:59,650 --> 00:26:01,210
The door that I just saw.

609
00:26:01,250 --> 00:26:03,250
Well, there's another walkie talkie.

610
00:26:03,290 --> 00:26:06,010
Do you think we should turn it off,
like we did the other one?

611
00:26:06,050 --> 00:26:09,010
Oh. You can look
where you're going, but...

612
00:26:09,050 --> 00:26:11,490
Well, I can't, can I?
Oh, yes, I can. Yeah.

613
00:26:11,530 --> 00:26:15,370
OK. Yes! What?! That was a person!
Where was it? Where is it?

614
00:26:15,410 --> 00:26:17,650
Alan.Hello.

615
00:26:17,690 --> 00:26:20,010
I feel like I'm going to
fall to my death.

616
00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:22,370
Is the thing in the middle
of the path like a well?

617
00:26:22,410 --> 00:26:23,810
I mean... It's a pond.

618
00:26:23,850 --> 00:26:26,490
Why would I just walk blindfolded
towards a pond?

619
00:26:26,530 --> 00:26:28,450
You're not blindfolded.
You can see.

620
00:26:28,490 --> 00:26:30,330
And I think I've found the soldier.

621
00:26:30,370 --> 00:26:31,490
Alan.

622
00:26:31,530 --> 00:26:33,850
Have you found the soldier?
Well, I don't know.

623
00:26:33,890 --> 00:26:36,290
There's a sort of Christmas tree.
Is that it there?

624
00:26:39,730 --> 00:26:41,090
I've stopped the clock, Alan.

625
00:26:41,130 --> 00:26:42,810
Victoria.

626
00:26:42,850 --> 00:26:43,930
How did that go?

627
00:26:43,970 --> 00:26:45,210
I've stopped the clock.

628
00:26:45,250 --> 00:26:47,210
APPLAUSE

629
00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:50,130
You know, for two people
who are, yeah, pretty well known

630
00:26:50,170 --> 00:26:54,090
for being intelligent,
it is incredible to watch.

631
00:26:54,130 --> 00:26:56,650
I mean, Victoria,
until she got outside,

632
00:26:56,690 --> 00:26:59,690
never at any point
considered walking backwards.

633
00:26:59,730 --> 00:27:02,850
No. I mean, would you say
that not wanting to walk backwards

634
00:27:02,890 --> 00:27:05,570
blindfolded towards a pond
is not a sign of intelligence?

635
00:27:05,610 --> 00:27:08,050
But when you were indoors,
never at any point did you think,

636
00:27:08,090 --> 00:27:10,410
"I should use this camera
that's on the back of my head."

637
00:27:10,450 --> 00:27:11,530
Never occurred to me.

638
00:27:11,570 --> 00:27:14,410
Literally, until I saw you do that,
never crossed my mind.

639
00:27:14,450 --> 00:27:17,570
And just to go to the next level,
at one point,

640
00:27:17,610 --> 00:27:22,650
Alan tried to speak down
a walkie talkie through his camera.

641
00:27:24,610 --> 00:27:27,410
So I think it's fair to say
there was a level of confusion.

642
00:27:28,850 --> 00:27:31,170
I'm expecting
incredibly slow times.

643
00:27:31,210 --> 00:27:34,610
Victoria was only
a minute slower than Guz.

644
00:27:34,650 --> 00:27:36,290
13 minutes 30.

645
00:27:36,330 --> 00:27:38,650
But compare that
to Alan's 19 minutes 20.

646
00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:42,490
We were going round and round
those corridors for quite some time.

647
00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:43,930
Lovely. Finally...

648
00:27:43,970 --> 00:27:45,890
Yes, finally, it's Morgana!

649
00:27:47,610 --> 00:27:48,850
Morgana.

650
00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:52,130
Oh, that's really tough.

651
00:27:55,130 --> 00:27:56,450
Morgana.

652
00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:04,210
Oh, this is a good idea, actually,
isn't it?

653
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:06,010
Morgana. Is it? Oh.

654
00:28:12,570 --> 00:28:13,730
Morgana.

655
00:28:15,610 --> 00:28:18,410
Give me my stuff.

656
00:28:20,650 --> 00:28:21,650
Ah!

657
00:28:25,170 --> 00:28:27,490
Morgana.
SHE LAUGHS

658
00:28:28,850 --> 00:28:30,730
I've stopped the clock.

659
00:28:30,770 --> 00:28:33,170
Yay!
APPLAUSE

660
00:28:33,210 --> 00:28:36,210
Thank you.
Thank you, Morgana. Thanks, guys.

661
00:28:37,530 --> 00:28:41,170
I mean that was lightning fast,
wasn't it?

662
00:28:41,210 --> 00:28:44,730
She walked backwards for a little
bit but largely was just fearless.

663
00:28:44,770 --> 00:28:47,170
She, er, went the right way,
which helped.

664
00:28:47,210 --> 00:28:49,530
And then she was passing the door
when the soldier spoke.

665
00:28:49,570 --> 00:28:51,970
Whereas Guz just carried on down
that corridor at that point.

666
00:28:52,010 --> 00:28:54,490
To be honest...
I mean, I've got to tell you this.

667
00:28:55,770 --> 00:28:57,370
..I could see a little bit.

668
00:28:57,410 --> 00:28:59,210
Ah!
MORGANA LAUGHS

669
00:28:59,250 --> 00:29:03,890
Because... I think it's cos my eyes
are bulgier than everyone else's.

670
00:29:03,930 --> 00:29:08,290
So I could see there wasn't any,
like, immediate obstacles.

671
00:29:08,330 --> 00:29:10,890
But, I mean, what I would say...

672
00:29:10,930 --> 00:29:14,290
..if you're going to saddle a horse
up make sure you saddle it up right,

673
00:29:14,330 --> 00:29:16,570
but don't blame the horse. Yeah.

674
00:29:16,610 --> 00:29:18,930
Oh, hang on a minute.
I put the saddle on the horse.

675
00:29:18,970 --> 00:29:21,210
Hm. Yeah. Ah, well, disqualified.

676
00:29:21,250 --> 00:29:23,570
So...No!
No, I'm joking, I'm joking.

677
00:29:23,610 --> 00:29:25,930
TEARFULLY:It's not my day,
Victoria! It's not your fault.

678
00:29:25,970 --> 00:29:28,290
You're not disqualified.
It's not your fault.Am I not?

679
00:29:28,330 --> 00:29:30,650
There's only one person to blame
for you being able to see,

680
00:29:30,690 --> 00:29:32,690
and that's the person,
as you quite rightly...Oh.

681
00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:35,290
..pointed out...I'm so sorry, Alex.
..fitting the equipment.

682
00:29:35,330 --> 00:29:37,650
and he'll be punished off-camera
in the traditional way.

683
00:29:37,690 --> 00:29:41,450
Not the traditional way!
Yes, the traditional way!

684
00:29:41,490 --> 00:29:43,810
Um, well done.
She takes the points.

685
00:29:43,850 --> 00:29:45,730
Well, she did do it in 1 minute 39.
Wow.

686
00:29:45,770 --> 00:29:48,130
She was moving so much swifter
than anyone else, so I think

687
00:29:48,170 --> 00:29:50,490
it would've happened anyway,
I'm pretty sure. Ratified!

688
00:29:50,530 --> 00:29:52,850
With that ratification,
it means Alan was the slowest -

689
00:29:52,890 --> 00:29:55,210
he gets one point.
Then Victoria gets two, Guz three,

690
00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:57,930
four to Desiree but five
swift points to Morgana Robinson!

691
00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,810
Lovely.
APPLAUSE

692
00:29:59,850 --> 00:30:02,330
And I should like one more, please.

693
00:30:02,370 --> 00:30:03,690
I won't let you down.

694
00:30:03,730 --> 00:30:06,370
And this one
sends shivers down my spine.

695
00:30:06,410 --> 00:30:09,130
SPOOKY CARNIVAL MUSIC

696
00:30:09,170 --> 00:30:10,570
CROW CAWS

697
00:30:12,170 --> 00:30:15,050
RAIN PATTERS

698
00:30:19,330 --> 00:30:21,050
Hello. Hi, Alan.

699
00:30:23,730 --> 00:30:24,770
Hi, guys.

700
00:30:27,490 --> 00:30:29,010
"Get goosebumps."

701
00:30:29,050 --> 00:30:32,610
"Your goosebumps
must be revealed in the lab."

702
00:30:32,650 --> 00:30:35,010
"Fastest wins."

703
00:30:35,050 --> 00:30:37,610
What's the last line? What?
What's the last line?

704
00:30:37,650 --> 00:30:38,890
Oh, OK.

705
00:30:41,130 --> 00:30:43,130
"Your time starts now"!
SHE LAUGHS

706
00:30:43,170 --> 00:30:45,970
Great. Well, let's get into it.
Let's see who got goosebumps.

707
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:48,330
There are lots of types
of goosebumps, obviously.

708
00:30:48,370 --> 00:30:50,090
There's a series of books
called Goosebumps,

709
00:30:50,130 --> 00:30:53,570
which were in the caravan, but
let's see how these guys did it.

710
00:30:53,610 --> 00:30:55,930
Here is a bit of Burch,
a clip of Khan

711
00:30:55,970 --> 00:30:57,210
and some more Morgana.

712
00:30:58,410 --> 00:31:01,290
Have they got...? They got to do
with temperature, innit?

713
00:31:04,850 --> 00:31:07,610
I don't the best place
to get goosebumps.

714
00:31:07,650 --> 00:31:10,850
I don't think
this is going to work.

715
00:31:10,890 --> 00:31:13,210
Is anything happening here?
Nothing?

716
00:31:13,250 --> 00:31:14,490
I can't see any goosebumps.

717
00:31:14,530 --> 00:31:16,290
Extreme heat to extreme cold.

718
00:31:16,330 --> 00:31:18,770
Yeah, I'm going to shove it
in my sleeve, yeah?

719
00:31:18,810 --> 00:31:20,130
Let's get cold.

720
00:31:20,170 --> 00:31:21,330
HAIRDRYER WHIRS

721
00:31:21,370 --> 00:31:23,850
Extreme heat
coupled with extreme cold.

722
00:31:23,890 --> 00:31:25,530
If I just...

723
00:31:25,570 --> 00:31:28,130
HAIRDRYER WHIRS

724
00:31:28,170 --> 00:31:29,530
That's warm.

725
00:31:29,570 --> 00:31:31,410
Can you...? Can you blow on my neck?

726
00:31:31,450 --> 00:31:33,770
Is that a thing
I can ask you to do?

727
00:31:33,810 --> 00:31:36,610
I think I might just stand outside
and then come, run back in.

728
00:31:36,650 --> 00:31:39,050
Sure. That's not worked.

729
00:31:39,090 --> 00:31:40,130
Is it working?

730
00:31:40,170 --> 00:31:41,410
I don't...

731
00:31:41,450 --> 00:31:44,250
All I feel is moist!
SHE LAUGHS

732
00:31:44,290 --> 00:31:46,770
I don't feel anything bumping.

733
00:31:46,810 --> 00:31:50,370
Right, let's check.
I feel cold and that.

734
00:31:50,410 --> 00:31:52,090
Have we got any?

735
00:31:52,130 --> 00:31:54,450
Yeah, it's reddening there
but there's no goosebumps.

736
00:31:54,490 --> 00:31:56,970
Hold on a minute.
You got to shock yourself.

737
00:31:57,010 --> 00:32:00,650
Ooh! It's about
to get wild in here today.

738
00:32:00,690 --> 00:32:01,930
Hi.

739
00:32:01,970 --> 00:32:03,570
HE BURBLES

740
00:32:03,610 --> 00:32:08,570
Cor! It's leaking in my crack.
Ah-ha-ha!

741
00:32:08,610 --> 00:32:11,210
I don't know how
to manufacture them bumps.

742
00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:13,570
I mean, being scared,
but I don't know...

743
00:32:13,610 --> 00:32:15,930
Like, I'd have
to be like petrified like in a...

744
00:32:15,970 --> 00:32:17,730
Are there any ghosts in this house?

745
00:32:17,770 --> 00:32:20,090
How about I just...?
Why don't you try and shock me?

746
00:32:20,130 --> 00:32:22,370
Boo! Boo. No, I mean...

747
00:32:22,410 --> 00:32:23,570
Boo?

748
00:32:23,610 --> 00:32:25,170
Better. Be better than that.

749
00:32:25,210 --> 00:32:29,570
"20 scary ghosts videos
you won't watch right now." Yes!

750
00:32:29,610 --> 00:32:30,930
Are you sc...? Are you scared yet?

751
00:32:30,970 --> 00:32:33,370
No. Show me them ghosts.

752
00:32:33,410 --> 00:32:35,650
Argh!

753
00:32:35,690 --> 00:32:37,330
Again. Argh!

754
00:32:37,370 --> 00:32:39,250
No, it's not... Argh!

755
00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:40,690
It's not scary enough!

756
00:32:40,730 --> 00:32:42,450
This is terrible.

757
00:32:42,490 --> 00:32:44,170
It has to come at me or something.

758
00:32:44,210 --> 00:32:45,770
Argh! Whoa, that's....!

759
00:32:45,810 --> 00:32:49,210
Argh!

760
00:32:49,250 --> 00:32:50,730
Whaa!

761
00:32:50,770 --> 00:32:52,010
It's not working, mate.

762
00:32:55,810 --> 00:32:57,010
I've stopped the clock.

763
00:32:59,890 --> 00:33:02,530
Hmm, there's some bumpage.
I'm not crazy -

764
00:33:02,570 --> 00:33:04,970
look at those follicles,
they're definitely enflamed.

765
00:33:05,010 --> 00:33:06,050
I've stopped the clock.

766
00:33:06,090 --> 00:33:08,490
This is only other another idea
I had.

767
00:33:08,530 --> 00:33:12,890
This chicken was trying to shag
a goose outside.

768
00:33:12,930 --> 00:33:15,170
So it contracted...

769
00:33:15,210 --> 00:33:16,930
..goosebumps. You can confirm it.

770
00:33:16,970 --> 00:33:19,530
Feel-feel-feel that.
Feel that there.

771
00:33:19,570 --> 00:33:21,570
What is that? That's a bump. Huh.

772
00:33:21,610 --> 00:33:23,210
It's an apple.

773
00:33:23,250 --> 00:33:26,770
You weren't supposed to take it out,
isn't it? It's a bump, isn't it?

774
00:33:26,810 --> 00:33:29,330
It's an apple.
Did you want me to stop the clock

775
00:33:29,370 --> 00:33:32,170
after finding the apple
in the chicken? Probably, yeah.

776
00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,490
I've stopped the clock.

777
00:33:35,530 --> 00:33:36,330
Thanks.

778
00:33:36,370 --> 00:33:37,770
APPLAUSE

779
00:33:40,050 --> 00:33:44,410
Guz, the mistake that you made
was to employ the services of Alex,

780
00:33:44,450 --> 00:33:46,970
because he's the least scary person
on Earth.

781
00:33:47,010 --> 00:33:50,810
He can't bear any kind of,
er, physical closeness.No.

782
00:33:50,850 --> 00:33:56,330
So you asking him to blow
on your neck was hell for Alex.

783
00:33:56,370 --> 00:33:58,730
You'll notice he had to go
and get a pipe and a fan

784
00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:00,210
to distance himself from you.

785
00:34:00,250 --> 00:34:02,890
His poor wife. It's awful.

786
00:34:02,930 --> 00:34:04,690
Well, we've got
a lovely pipe at home.

787
00:34:04,730 --> 00:34:06,530
It's a bit more colourful
than that one.

788
00:34:06,570 --> 00:34:08,450
LAUGHTER

789
00:34:08,490 --> 00:34:11,690
Ah, you've got your romance pipe.
Yes. The loving pipe.

790
00:34:11,730 --> 00:34:14,490
If it's any consolation, Guz,
you putting ice down your back

791
00:34:14,530 --> 00:34:18,570
and then it dripping into your
arse crack gave me goosebumps.

792
00:34:18,610 --> 00:34:21,970
Morgana, what we actually saw
was you running outside

793
00:34:22,010 --> 00:34:23,650
and then returning
with goosebumps

794
00:34:23,690 --> 00:34:26,290
and I've-I've filled
in the narrative. And hoo-hoo!

795
00:34:26,330 --> 00:34:28,650
I shouted, "Everybody stay inside!"

796
00:34:28,690 --> 00:34:31,010
And then I ran out
and I literally stripped off

797
00:34:31,050 --> 00:34:34,170
and I-I got my, all my bare skin
and I sort of hugged the dome.

798
00:34:34,210 --> 00:34:36,610
Yeah. Right, OK.It worked.

799
00:34:36,650 --> 00:34:38,010
I've got goosebumps again.

800
00:34:39,370 --> 00:34:42,290
She got her goosebumps visibly
in 2 minutes 49.

801
00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:44,650
Wow! Wow.So it's pretty speedy.
Wow.

802
00:34:44,690 --> 00:34:47,010
Desiree, did she get
some goosebumps? She did.

803
00:34:47,050 --> 00:34:48,930
Yeah, they weren't
massively visible but...

804
00:34:48,970 --> 00:34:51,570
I'm sorry my goosebumps
aren't big enough to satisfy you.

805
00:34:51,610 --> 00:34:53,130
But, you know... Yes, yes.

806
00:34:53,170 --> 00:34:56,450
..the pipe didn't really
get me there, Alex.

807
00:34:56,490 --> 00:34:58,090
It was difficult
to pick them on camera

808
00:34:58,130 --> 00:35:02,490
but it was 24 minutes 30
of desperation that got us there.

809
00:35:02,530 --> 00:35:05,650
What about old drippy crack?

810
00:35:05,690 --> 00:35:07,570
Yeah.

811
00:35:07,610 --> 00:35:12,290
Well, it depends if you accept that
there was a bump on that goose.

812
00:35:12,330 --> 00:35:15,090
I categorically do not accept that.

813
00:35:16,930 --> 00:35:20,090
Well, in that case, he gave up
after ten and a half minutes.

814
00:35:20,130 --> 00:35:21,570
Right! One part left,

815
00:35:21,610 --> 00:35:24,850
and soon someone will win
a few old chips

816
00:35:24,890 --> 00:35:26,730
and some coloured tennis balls.

817
00:35:26,770 --> 00:35:29,930
This, my friends,
is primetime Channel 4!

818
00:35:29,970 --> 00:35:31,370
See you soon.

819
00:35:31,410 --> 00:35:33,410
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

820
00:35:34,810 --> 00:35:37,090
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

821
00:35:37,130 --> 00:35:41,050
Hello, and welcome back to
the final part of episode nine.

822
00:35:41,090 --> 00:35:42,890
What's left to finish, Alex?

823
00:35:42,930 --> 00:35:44,130
Goosebumps, Greg.

824
00:35:44,170 --> 00:35:46,010
They're trying to get them
as fast as they can.

825
00:35:46,050 --> 00:35:47,890
The route-oners - Desiree,
Guz and Morgana -

826
00:35:47,930 --> 00:35:49,570
had some success with ice.

827
00:35:49,610 --> 00:35:52,770
But what will the wise old sages,
Alan and Victoria, come up with?

828
00:35:52,810 --> 00:35:54,770
SHE MOUTHS

829
00:35:54,810 --> 00:35:56,410
It's been so cold and now it's...

830
00:35:59,090 --> 00:36:00,330
..it's sort of warm.

831
00:36:00,370 --> 00:36:02,250
Oh, I can leave the room.
Can I leave the room?

832
00:36:02,290 --> 00:36:04,250
Oh, all the information's
on the task.

833
00:36:11,170 --> 00:36:12,890
What do you think gets goosebumpy?

834
00:36:12,930 --> 00:36:16,690
Do you think it's your writing hand
or your non-writing hand?

835
00:36:16,730 --> 00:36:18,010
ICE CLINKS IN BOWL

836
00:36:18,050 --> 00:36:19,770
Ooh-hoo-hoo!

837
00:36:24,450 --> 00:36:26,370
How long do goosebumps
take to arrive?

838
00:36:28,250 --> 00:36:31,010
This is a very thick jumper
I've got on. Mm?

839
00:36:31,050 --> 00:36:32,650
Maybe I should take that off.

840
00:36:32,690 --> 00:36:37,050
I realised that plan wouldn't work
because it's too warm in here.

841
00:36:37,090 --> 00:36:38,410
So I've drawn them on.

842
00:36:38,450 --> 00:36:39,650
Ooh...

843
00:36:39,690 --> 00:36:42,890
Ooh, look at those goosebumps,
ooh. Oh, look at that.

844
00:36:42,930 --> 00:36:45,610
I've stopped the clock. Is that
what you wanted me to do? Yes.

845
00:36:45,650 --> 00:36:48,770
OK, I hope you go and get war...
Oh. Right.

846
00:36:48,810 --> 00:36:50,690
I've warmed up.
SHE LAUGHS

847
00:36:52,610 --> 00:36:55,050
I mean, at the moment,
I'm getting more sort of...

848
00:36:56,650 --> 00:36:58,170
..frostbite and chilblains.

849
00:36:59,490 --> 00:37:00,930
I'll go outside for a minute.

850
00:37:04,850 --> 00:37:07,210
Sitting outside on
a winter's afternoon

851
00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:10,130
in a T-shirt with your hands
in a bowl of ice.

852
00:37:13,130 --> 00:37:14,570
How can I add to this?

853
00:37:16,290 --> 00:37:19,250
Someone else's goosebumps?
A goose?

854
00:37:24,690 --> 00:37:26,330
Ah.

855
00:37:26,370 --> 00:37:29,170
Those are chicken legs -
they've got bumps on.

856
00:37:29,210 --> 00:37:32,370
Do you want me to stop the clock?
Yeah.

857
00:37:32,410 --> 00:37:34,650
HE LAUGHS

858
00:37:34,690 --> 00:37:37,010
I've stopped the clock.
You've got goosebumps. Hmm.

859
00:37:37,050 --> 00:37:40,250
Your hand... Your hands are red.
Going to put them under a hot tap.

860
00:37:40,290 --> 00:37:41,890
APPLAUSE

861
00:37:41,930 --> 00:37:43,170
Heartbreaking.

862
00:37:44,730 --> 00:37:46,010
I mean, if the task had been

863
00:37:46,050 --> 00:37:48,050
"Make yourself look like
a plague victim..."

864
00:37:48,090 --> 00:37:50,330
LAUGHTER

865
00:37:50,370 --> 00:37:51,930
Just absolute rubbish.

866
00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:54,570
Well, it's up to you.
Did these guys get goosebumps?

867
00:37:54,610 --> 00:37:55,610
Well, Victoria didn't.

868
00:37:55,650 --> 00:37:57,170
Wait, had someone
gone to the caravan

869
00:37:57,210 --> 00:37:58,650
and got the books called Goosebumps

870
00:37:58,690 --> 00:38:01,010
and brought them in,
would you have accepted that?

871
00:38:01,050 --> 00:38:03,370
Yes, or shown us a clip on YouTube
of the movie Goosebumps -

872
00:38:03,410 --> 00:38:05,810
that would've counted. So it didn't
have to be literal goosebumps.

873
00:38:05,850 --> 00:38:07,850
Figurative goosebumps
were acceptable. Yes.

874
00:38:07,890 --> 00:38:10,210
Therefore ones created
by arts and crafts - acceptable.

875
00:38:10,250 --> 00:38:12,770
Yeah, if they look like goosebumps.
I think that is the problem.

876
00:38:12,810 --> 00:38:14,810
Yours were... Well...
..not bumps or goosey.

877
00:38:14,850 --> 00:38:17,170
Do-do the books - the Goosebumps -
look like goosebumps?

878
00:38:17,210 --> 00:38:19,530
No, but they're called Goosebumps.
They do say...

879
00:38:19,570 --> 00:38:21,890
Well, those, I call
them goosebumps. You, you do.

880
00:38:21,930 --> 00:38:24,570
But you're not known nationally
as "old goosebump arm", are you?

881
00:38:24,610 --> 00:38:26,570
I WASN'T. So you can't just...

882
00:38:28,090 --> 00:38:31,250
Well, yeah, that's a good point.
Retrospectively.

883
00:38:31,290 --> 00:38:33,610
So if she gets the nickname
"old goosebump arm",

884
00:38:33,650 --> 00:38:34,570
you'll give her a point?

885
00:38:34,610 --> 00:38:38,370
If I see evidence on the internet
that the name "old goosebump arm"

886
00:38:38,410 --> 00:38:42,010
has stuck for you, then I will
retrospectively award you points.

887
00:38:42,050 --> 00:38:45,010
It would make her win this task.
She was 58 seconds to get her...

888
00:38:45,050 --> 00:38:46,490
Hmm. ..old goosebump arm.

889
00:38:46,530 --> 00:38:49,890
Alan, you had very cold hands...
Was really cold.

890
00:38:49,930 --> 00:38:52,250
..and then you,
in a fairly lacklustre way,

891
00:38:52,290 --> 00:38:56,050
brought in a packet of chicken legs.
End of task.Yeah.

892
00:38:56,090 --> 00:38:58,570
Goosebumps are called goosebumps
cos they resemble

893
00:38:58,610 --> 00:39:01,730
the skin of-of fowl
including chicken thighs.

894
00:39:01,770 --> 00:39:05,010
He was also very slow.
13 minutes 51. So...

895
00:39:05,050 --> 00:39:06,530
So it doesn't matter?

896
00:39:06,570 --> 00:39:08,810
Well, nothing matters, but...

897
00:39:08,850 --> 00:39:10,410
LAUGHTER

898
00:39:10,450 --> 00:39:12,970
We haven't got time
for an existential crisis!

899
00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:16,730
It looks like the Chicken Bringer...

900
00:39:16,770 --> 00:39:19,010
LAUGHING:The Chicken Bringer!

901
00:39:19,050 --> 00:39:22,050
..has, er, garnered some points.
Right sum it all up.

902
00:39:22,090 --> 00:39:24,410
OK.Well we're saying
that Guz and Victoria

903
00:39:24,450 --> 00:39:25,850
did not get goosebumps
in the end.

904
00:39:25,890 --> 00:39:28,210
Er, sorry Guz and who?Oh, sorry.

905
00:39:28,250 --> 00:39:33,410
We're saying Guz
and Old Goosebump Arm did not get...

906
00:39:33,450 --> 00:39:36,410
Old Goosebump Arm!

907
00:39:36,450 --> 00:39:38,450
We're saying that they didn't
get any goosebumps

908
00:39:38,490 --> 00:39:40,810
and so they also don't
get any points. Correct.

909
00:39:40,850 --> 00:39:42,170
Desiree was actually the slowest

910
00:39:42,210 --> 00:39:44,530
to get these
tiny little goosebumps, 24 minutes.

911
00:39:44,570 --> 00:39:45,490
She gets three points.

912
00:39:45,530 --> 00:39:48,850
Chicken Bringer gets four points
with his 13 minutes 51.

913
00:39:48,890 --> 00:39:50,530
Whereas Morgana, the Dome Hugger,

914
00:39:50,570 --> 00:39:53,170
gets five points
after 2 minutes 49 seconds.

915
00:39:53,210 --> 00:39:54,890
There it is.
APPLAUSE

916
00:39:54,930 --> 00:39:57,290
Scores update, please.

917
00:39:57,330 --> 00:39:59,850
In this episode, we have
a leader by three points -

918
00:39:59,890 --> 00:40:02,130
it's Desiree! Whee! On 16 points.

919
00:40:06,770 --> 00:40:11,130
OK, it's that time again.
Please make your way to the stage.

920
00:40:11,170 --> 00:40:13,530
You know why -
it's the final task of the show.

921
00:40:13,570 --> 00:40:15,570
APPLAUSE

922
00:40:18,810 --> 00:40:20,530
Guz, please can you read the task?

923
00:40:22,410 --> 00:40:25,290
"Get the highest score
by sliding your ducks.

924
00:40:25,330 --> 00:40:28,370
"Each team will slide
a pair of ducks three times.

925
00:40:28,410 --> 00:40:31,730
"The duck slider
must smirk at the Taskmaster

926
00:40:31,770 --> 00:40:33,530
"whilst sliding their ducks.

927
00:40:33,570 --> 00:40:37,090
"The winning team
will receive five points per person.

928
00:40:37,130 --> 00:40:38,970
"The losing team will get zero."

929
00:40:39,010 --> 00:40:40,530
So, Greg, it's a team task.

930
00:40:40,570 --> 00:40:42,890
The team of three -
you're going to have one go each.

931
00:40:42,930 --> 00:40:44,210
You two, one of you will go twice.

932
00:40:44,250 --> 00:40:46,250
Who wants to go twice,
Victoria or Alan?

933
00:40:46,290 --> 00:40:47,610
I think Alan should go twice.

934
00:40:47,650 --> 00:40:50,170
Alan will go twice.
Both teams start on zero.

935
00:40:50,210 --> 00:40:52,530
We're going to start
with Desiree Burch.

936
00:40:52,570 --> 00:40:55,650
APPLAUSE

937
00:40:55,690 --> 00:40:56,850
Come on, Desiree!

938
00:40:59,650 --> 00:41:00,850
Please slide your duck.

939
00:41:02,850 --> 00:41:04,530
Wow.Ooh!

940
00:41:04,570 --> 00:41:07,290
Wow, that is a flying opener.

941
00:41:07,330 --> 00:41:09,570
8 points, Greg. All right.

942
00:41:12,090 --> 00:41:13,610
Oh.

943
00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:14,850
And that...

944
00:41:14,890 --> 00:41:16,650
I'll just check.

945
00:41:16,690 --> 00:41:18,210
It's over the 4.

946
00:41:18,250 --> 00:41:19,810
ALAN: Whoa!

947
00:41:19,850 --> 00:41:22,250
Boom! All right, all right.

948
00:41:22,290 --> 00:41:24,530
Strong opener. OK, who's next?

949
00:41:24,570 --> 00:41:26,970
Alan Davies for his first
of two slides.

950
00:41:27,010 --> 00:41:29,690
Right. Get your smirk on.

951
00:41:29,730 --> 00:41:31,050
Come on, Alan.

952
00:41:31,090 --> 00:41:33,010
Smirking, smirking.

953
00:41:36,370 --> 00:41:39,010
A lovely smirk,
and that's a clear 4 points.

954
00:41:39,050 --> 00:41:41,610
4 points.Oosh.
Not bad. Take your time, Alan.

955
00:41:41,650 --> 00:41:43,970
I think you put too much energy
into the smirk,

956
00:41:44,010 --> 00:41:45,090
if you don't mind me saying.

957
00:41:48,610 --> 00:41:49,730
Is that a good smirk?

958
00:41:49,770 --> 00:41:51,330
Lovely. Focus on your duck push.

959
00:41:51,370 --> 00:41:54,290
Can't... I can't relax.
I always laugh when I'm nervous.

960
00:41:54,330 --> 00:41:55,690
It's a terrible affliction.

961
00:41:55,730 --> 00:41:58,370
It'll get me so much trouble
in torture conditions.

962
00:42:02,650 --> 00:42:04,490
Ooh! That duck's legs

963
00:42:04,530 --> 00:42:06,490
are in the ÷ 2 category.

964
00:42:06,530 --> 00:42:08,770
Oh! Still a positive. Oh, cruel.

965
00:42:08,810 --> 00:42:10,290
The team of two are on 2 points. OK.

966
00:42:10,330 --> 00:42:12,170
APPLAUSE

967
00:42:12,210 --> 00:42:13,810
Next up, it's Guz Khan.

968
00:42:16,090 --> 00:42:18,490
Oh. That was strong.
ALL:Ooh!

969
00:42:18,530 --> 00:42:20,450
Back to zero. Back to zero.

970
00:42:21,490 --> 00:42:23,730
MORGANA:Oh, babe, it's OK.

971
00:42:23,770 --> 00:42:25,090
Suddenly it's 2-0.

972
00:42:26,810 --> 00:42:27,970
You can do this.

973
00:42:29,570 --> 00:42:31,410
Nice smirk. Ooh!

974
00:42:31,450 --> 00:42:33,010
MORGANA:So close, but 4's good.

975
00:42:33,050 --> 00:42:35,010
Is it 4? 4's good.

976
00:42:35,050 --> 00:42:36,330
It's a 4. 4's good.

977
00:42:36,370 --> 00:42:38,050
Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. Sorry.

978
00:42:38,090 --> 00:42:39,530
Doesn't matter, we're still in it.

979
00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:42,490
It's 4-2, Greg, and it's Victoria's
turn to slide and smirk.

980
00:42:42,530 --> 00:42:43,890
Oh, who?

981
00:42:43,930 --> 00:42:47,130
Oh, sorry it's,
it's Old Goosebump Arm's turn.

982
00:42:47,170 --> 00:42:49,850
The Old Goosebump Arm
is ready for action.

983
00:42:49,890 --> 00:42:51,050
Get that smirk on.

984
00:42:55,330 --> 00:42:56,730
It's my weaker arm.

985
00:42:56,770 --> 00:42:58,530
Well, it's not...
it's not a disaster.

986
00:42:58,570 --> 00:43:00,210
It's not a disaster.
We'll just check.

987
00:43:00,250 --> 00:43:02,570
Those are going in the 2.

988
00:43:02,610 --> 00:43:04,290
Yeah, yeah. Oh, well done.
That's good.

989
00:43:04,330 --> 00:43:06,570
That has drawn the scores level.

990
00:43:06,610 --> 00:43:07,730
Ooh! Yeah.

991
00:43:10,610 --> 00:43:11,850
It's ÷ 2.

992
00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:13,690
It's better than -10.
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

993
00:43:13,730 --> 00:43:15,570
It's better than -10.
Well done. Sorry, Alan.

994
00:43:15,610 --> 00:43:17,610
OK, so their 4 has been
divided by 2. They're on 2.

995
00:43:17,650 --> 00:43:19,210
The team of three are on 4.

996
00:43:19,250 --> 00:43:20,970
It's the final, Greg. It is.

997
00:43:21,010 --> 00:43:23,330
This is the team of three's
final shoves.

998
00:43:23,370 --> 00:43:26,610
I believe in your profoundly.
Stop it. No presh.

999
00:43:28,010 --> 00:43:29,250
That's not a smirk.

1000
00:43:29,290 --> 00:43:31,530
I'm going to push, OK? Yeah.

1001
00:43:32,690 --> 00:43:34,690
That duck is a 4.

1002
00:43:34,730 --> 00:43:36,970
Yeah, girl. Lovely.Yes!

1003
00:43:38,250 --> 00:43:40,610
Take your time, Morgana.

1004
00:43:42,250 --> 00:43:43,290
Ah! Ah!

1005
00:43:43,330 --> 00:43:45,090
It's x 2. Wow!

1006
00:43:45,130 --> 00:43:47,810
Yeah! Oh, wow.

1007
00:43:47,850 --> 00:43:49,330
Bwow-bwow-bwow!

1008
00:43:49,370 --> 00:43:50,970
Team!

1009
00:43:51,010 --> 00:43:53,250
OK, Greg, it's 16 plays 2. Ah.

1010
00:43:53,290 --> 00:43:55,610
But we've got swap scores here.
Uh-oh.

1011
00:43:55,650 --> 00:43:57,170
Anything could still happen.

1012
00:43:57,210 --> 00:43:59,570
Alan, please take the duck
for the final time.

1013
00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:03,090
Thank you.

1014
00:44:06,210 --> 00:44:08,930
Ooh! It's a solid start. Oh!

1015
00:44:08,970 --> 00:44:11,330
It's a x 2. I just needed
a few more inches there.

1016
00:44:14,290 --> 00:44:16,650
This is it, Alan.
Oh, no, I can't watch.

1017
00:44:16,690 --> 00:44:19,450
I-I think he's going to do it,
I think he's going to do it.

1018
00:44:21,410 --> 00:44:22,570
Ah!

1019
00:44:23,930 --> 00:44:26,930
Oh! I feel like he's done it.
He's done it, he's done it.

1020
00:44:26,970 --> 00:44:29,290
I think it's over it,
I think it's over it. Ah.

1021
00:44:29,330 --> 00:44:31,650
I think that's it,
I think that's it.

1022
00:44:31,690 --> 00:44:32,850
Ah! No, no, no, no, no!

1023
00:44:35,730 --> 00:44:37,330
Yes! No, no.
MORGANA: Bingo.

1024
00:44:37,370 --> 00:44:39,130
It's...
I'm-I'm calling for the VAR.

1025
00:44:40,890 --> 00:44:42,610
I'm afraid, as your human VAR,

1026
00:44:42,650 --> 00:44:44,530
I can confirm it's only x 2.

1027
00:44:44,570 --> 00:44:49,770
Yes! Team! Whoo!
APPLAUSE

1028
00:44:49,810 --> 00:44:52,450
The final scores, Greg,
were 8 to the team of two,

1029
00:44:52,490 --> 00:44:55,010
but 16 to the team of three.

1030
00:44:55,050 --> 00:44:58,090
Duck me, what a scorcher!
APPLAUSE

1031
00:44:58,130 --> 00:45:01,970
Come back down and we'll add those
to the final scores.

1032
00:45:02,010 --> 00:45:04,930
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

1033
00:45:04,970 --> 00:45:07,250
We were one inch away from

1034
00:45:07,290 --> 00:45:10,410
the most incredible score swap
there's ever been.

1035
00:45:10,450 --> 00:45:12,690
And yet no cigar.

1036
00:45:12,730 --> 00:45:15,050
So Victoria and Alan
don't get any points.

1037
00:45:15,090 --> 00:45:19,050
Ah. Desiree, Guz and Morgana
get five points each. There it is.

1038
00:45:19,090 --> 00:45:20,290
Nice.

1039
00:45:20,330 --> 00:45:22,010
And that means Victoria remains

1040
00:45:22,050 --> 00:45:23,930
rooted to the bottom of the table
on 108.

1041
00:45:23,970 --> 00:45:29,290
Desiree on 140,
Alan 142, Guz 145, Morgana 150.

1042
00:45:29,330 --> 00:45:30,370
SHE WHISTLES

1043
00:45:30,410 --> 00:45:32,810
But in this particular episode,
we do have one clear winner -

1044
00:45:32,850 --> 00:45:36,170
with 21 points, it's Desiree Burch!
Yes! Desiree!

1045
00:45:36,210 --> 00:45:37,530
Desiree wins!Baby!

1046
00:45:37,570 --> 00:45:42,090
Five towels and 200 things -
please go and get 'em, tiger.

1047
00:45:42,130 --> 00:45:44,490
Yes! Yeah, Dee, go.

1048
00:45:45,890 --> 00:45:49,090
So what have we learnt today?
We've learnt that if you happen to

1049
00:45:49,130 --> 00:45:52,050
be driving past a house in Coventry
and you see an old woman

1050
00:45:52,090 --> 00:45:55,010
bouncing around the room
after some tennis balls,

1051
00:45:55,050 --> 00:45:58,770
don't panic - it's just Guz Khan
trying to keep his nan flexible.

1052
00:45:58,810 --> 00:46:02,130
Right, next time is final time.

1053
00:46:02,170 --> 00:46:03,850
Exciting times!

1054
00:46:03,890 --> 00:46:07,730
But for now it's Desiree's time.
Goodbye!

1055
00:46:07,770 --> 00:46:10,050
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE