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This programme contains
strong language and adult humour.
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Ha-haa!
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No way!
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Er... Gosh!
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Where's the hole?
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Urghh! Ahh! Uhhh...
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Are you having a laugh?
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Ooh!Aghh!
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Hello! Hello, everybody, I'm
Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster.
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There are those that think that
this series - series 13 - is cursed.
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There are those that say
I have the legs of a goat
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and can be seen on the moors
devouring pork by moonlight.
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There are those that think
all of the losers of Taskmaster
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are done away with and replaced by
robots that I use to do my bidding.
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There are those that think
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I shouldn't write introductions
to the show when I'm tired.
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And here are five of them.
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Ardal O'Hanlon!
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Bridget Christie!
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Chris Ramsey!
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Judi Love!
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And Sophie Duker!
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And next to me
the answer to the question
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what would happen if you forced
a yak through a sausage machine?
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It's...
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Little Alex Horne!
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Thank you.
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All right, then, love? How are you?
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I'm excited because
I'm just about to say
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my millionth word of the year.
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I'm now 14 short
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and I want you to choose
my millionth.
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All right.
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There you are.
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Biffins!
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That bit between your front
and your back.
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That's your millionth word.
That's my millionth this year. Yep.
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There's always next year,
isn't there?
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Right. What's the prize-task
category, please, Alex?
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Well, this one's safely up there
in our top 109 prize tasks.
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We asked them to bring in
the best night-time thing.
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Ooh. Five points for whomever has
brought in the best night-time thing
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and at the end of the show, the winner
will take home five night-time things
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and guarantee themselves
a thoroughly good Monday to Friday.
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Very good. Judi Love.
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I said, erm,
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a lovely duvet.
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Look at it.
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This is practical, it keeps you warm
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and when you're hot,
you can put your foot out of it...
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I didn't realise you could
put your feet out. Yeah.
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I thought they had to stay within
the confines... No, no, no. No.
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Only special people know this.
But you...
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..can also use it for camping.
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Why are you saying this
like... like it's the first time
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anyone's ever thought of it?
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What do you expect from me for that?
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"What? You can take it
out of the house?!"
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There's so much stuff you can do
with a duvet at night-time.
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You can make a tent,
you can sleep downstairs with it.
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Do you know what I mean?
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You can play ghost.
It would be a big, fat ghost,
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but you can play. I mean,
the person that doesn't beat duvet,
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hang your heads in shame.
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Genius. Ardal.
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Ah, well, obviously, er,
night-vision goggles.
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Ooh! Are they night-vision goggles?
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Well, they're swimming goggles,
but, er...
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They are the best night-time thing
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because when you wake up at night,
uh, you can see.
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Uh, and I... I... I...
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Do you wear them in bed?
Of course I wear them in bed!
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So when I wake up and if there's
someone in the room, I can see them.
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So what are the practical applications
of night-vision goggles for you? Right.
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I don't sleep well.
And my wife does sleep well,
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but she doesn't like me turning the light on
at night, so if there's an intruder comes in,
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I've got a little advantage.
Over your wife?
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Over my wife.
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Um, Sophie, can you beat
night-vision goggles?
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Uh, I think the best
night-time thing
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is an owl. But... I mean...
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It's... Yeah.
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I think... Do you know what?
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Already I think she's right!
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Already!
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I think owls are creatures
of the night,
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they can... Not only do they have
night vision,
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but they can see all around.
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But, um, owls and people
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don't make great bedfellows.
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Oh, it's not a live owl.
It's an owl hot-water bottle.
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And here it is.
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So the thing is
it might keep you warm,
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but when you're cold,
can you put your foot out of it?
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Uh, that's how they catch
their prey, isn't it, on heat.
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On heat? I think...
Their eyesight is actually, um...
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Their eyes are actually bigger
than their brains. Oh, right.
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Which means sometimes it looks at a crossword
and thinks, "I can do that", but it can't.
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It's not as clever
as it thinks it is.
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It's a hot-water bottle,
but it's a cute one.
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Might get you two points, let's see.
Chris.
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A bed. A bed. He's brought a bed in.
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Oh, Chris. I mean, honestly,
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that is so basic. Shall we list
things you can do on a bed?
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Yeah. Yeah... Every single thing
you said plus it's a trampoline.
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Any special features?
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Er, memory-foam mattress.
That's the mattress though.
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They don't work. I got one of them.
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It doesn't remember me.
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It rejects me!
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All right, Chris. Bridget, hello.
Hi. What have you brought in?
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A fox.
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Aww!
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You brought in
the natural predator of the owl.
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Why's it the best night-time thing?
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I think they're magical and, er,
they're all around us all the time
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and we don't notice them.
The amount of films
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and in literature
and in Japanese folklore...
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You have convinced me that
the fox means a lot to you.
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They're in... They skulk around the
suburbs in the middle of the night
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like a jazz drummer trying to score
heroin. They don't skulk...
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Right, score some points. Yes,
what is the best night-time thing?
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Shall we start with the worst?
OK, what's the worst?
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Judi Love. And unfortunately, Chris,
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I'm sure your bed's absolutely
lovely, but I must only give it two points.
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Sophie's coy owl will take
three points.
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Coy owl. So it is night-time goggles
versus fox.
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The idea of him
in night-vision goggles,
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it delights me that one point more.
That is my judgement.
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There we go, Ardal O'Hanlon
gets five points!
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Let's have a task proper. OK, then.
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Well, I have a big task for you
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set in a little church.
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Ohh.
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It's like a sample sale.
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This is like a nightmare.
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It's like Blair Witch or something.
Sponsored by JD Sports.
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"Display the shoe
Alex is thinking of."
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"All the other shoes must be out of
sight at the end of your attempt."
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"You may only ask yes or no
questions and you must say,
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"'I have to find the shoe'
after every answer."
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"You must shout,
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"'No way! after every answer."
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I must say "OK, just one more thing"
after every answer.
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I must laugh with disbelief
after every answer.
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I must get increasingly exasperated
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after every answer.
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"Fewest questions wins."
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"Your time starts now."
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So this is like Guess Who
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with shoes. So what's it called?
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Shoe Who. OK.
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Guess Shoe. Yeah. OK.
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If you think I'm not thinking
of a particular shoe,
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please pop it out of that window. I
will be counting any questions you ask.
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Maybe I don't have to ask
any questions.
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It's one tactic. Mmm.
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Do you like shoes? Yes.
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No way! So that's...
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That's what we've got to do.
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No way.
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That's the opener you went with,
is it? "Do you like shoes?"
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Yeah. Bit annoyed that
that got counted.
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I counted every question.
Every question.
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Right, let's crack on. Yes. As this
task is taking place in a church,
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who better to start with
than a bit of "Christie 'n' Love"?
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Bridget Christie 'n' Judi Love.
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Can I have some gloves, please?
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You cold? No, I don't like
touching shoes. Oh.
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Is the shoe you're thinking of...
Is that how we do it?
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Oh, that's a question, isn't it?
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Trainers? No.
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Ha-haa!
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Is it a baby's shoe?
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No. Is it an adult... Please say...
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Just one more thing. OK, just one
more thing. OK, just one more thing.
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Is it an adult's shoe? Yes.
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OK, just one more thing.
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Football boots? No. A-ha-haa!
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Is it a man's shoe? No.
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Is... Is it these? No.
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00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,440
Is it these? No.
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So it's not those. Is it these? No.
184
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,480
Off you pop. Is it these? No.
185
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Is it these? You haven't said,
"OK, just one more thing."
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OK, just one more thing.
Is it these? No.
187
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Does your toe show? Yes, it does.
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Ha-haaah!
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It's not those. Is it?
190
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Oh, you still asked a question.
What? No.
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Alex? Hello, Judi. I think
you should take those down for me.
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00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,000
Oh, right, OK. And these.
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Out the window, is it?
Yes, Alex, out the window.
194
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,480
Thank you, Judi.
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OK, just one more thing.
Is it the bowling shoes?
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No. So I have to get those down now?
That's another question.
197
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,040
Is it any of those? No.
Is it on the back row? No.
198
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:54,096
OK, just one more thing. Is it these?
No. OK, just one more thing. Is it these?
199
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,480
OK, just one more thing... One
more... One more... Is it a pair of shoes?
200
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,320
Mm, no.
201
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,920
I've got one.
That's not good enough.
202
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,200
Is it a bright shoe, Alex?
203
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:09,720
Is it a bright colour?
Is it a bright colour, Alex?
204
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,800
Yes. You did ask me that question
five times.
205
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,000
No, no, don't take the piss. Right.
206
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,040
Is it those? You've just asked me
about those. Oh, yeah.
207
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,760
Alex, are these your dutty shoes?
208
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,640
Sort of.
209
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,240
There must've been a pair
that I missed.
210
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Right, I'll have to go through them
individually again though.
211
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,680
Is this the shoe?
212
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,960
Yes.
213
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:40,000
It's not these either. No.
It isn't these? No.
214
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,360
And you also said no for these.
Yeah.
215
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,360
I'm having a deja vu.
216
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,680
How would you like to display it?
217
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,640
Thank God we're in a church because
I would tell you some words.
218
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,920
Bye, Alex. Bye, Judi.
219
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,240
OK, just one more thing.
None of these shoes?
220
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,040
Yes.
221
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,800
OK, just one more thing.
Is it one of these? Yes.
222
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,320
OK, just one more thing.
Is it that shoe? Yes.
223
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,200
Oh, my God.
224
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,720
And then if you could turn round.
225
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,760
Right, I can't see any shoes.
226
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,520
OK, thanks, bye. Bye-bye.
227
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,360
Bridget, you and I have sort of known
each other on and off for a few years now.
228
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:25,920
Yeah. And it's only after
watching that VT
229
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,760
for the first time did I question
your intelligence.
230
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:32,480
I was cursed by something
in the church.
231
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,440
It had been deconsecrated,
the church.
232
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:39,376
But it does make some sense because
you did say quite a lot more questions
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00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,600
than there were shoes. Wow.
How many questions did she ask?
234
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,240
161 questions. No!
235
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:49,200
That's quite something.
And I'll tell you something else -
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00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,640
it's the first time in 13 series
237
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,600
that I've seen Alex Horne
genuinely irritated. Yeah.
238
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,720
Let's have a look at Alex Horne
239
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,080
genuinely annoyed.
240
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,920
It's not those, is it?
241
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,280
Oh, you still asked a question.
What?
242
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,960
No!
243
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,200
Yeah, I don't like that.
I don't like seeing that.
244
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,760
Please can I say something about that?
Yeah. I could see how annoyed he was.
245
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,160
And that wasn't very supportive.
246
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:25,000
I thought Judi seemed
pretty efficient to me.
247
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:28,200
Yes. 24 questions. Yeah, you tricked
me on some of those questions.
248
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,880
You say 23, let's take off
three of them so we got 21, yeah?
249
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,880
20. Or 20. 20 or 24 questions
from Judi.
250
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:37,120
Yep. Right. We're stopping
to catch our breath.
251
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,280
There will be more shoes
after the break. Shoo! You!
252
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,200
Then come back for shoe!
New shoe, for you!
253
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:55,200
Hello again and welcome back to
the second part of tonight's show.
254
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,760
Quick reminder of the task in play,
please, Alex.
255
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,920
Everyone is trying to guess
my shoe, Greg.
256
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,360
Fewest questions wins.
Next up, it's Sophie Duker
257
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,400
and Chris Ramsey!
258
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,480
No way!
259
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,400
Is it a sporting shoe? No.
260
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,160
No way!
261
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:15,560
Does the shoe
262
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,760
have laces?
263
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,360
No.
264
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,240
Would you class this as a sport? No.
265
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,480
No way!
266
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,280
Can I have these ones?
Now, then, is that a question?
267
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,200
No!
268
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,440
You were quite exasperated then.
269
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:36,600
So I'm just not allowed to ask
questions? Now, is that a question?
270
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,240
Oh, my God!
271
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:42,320
I should've said "sporty".
Because there's a grey area here.
272
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,440
Ah. You're putting on
the fish shoes. Yeah.
273
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,120
Does the shoe you're thinking of
274
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,200
have laces? No.
275
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:52,640
No way!
276
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,000
No grey area here, Chris.
The grey area has gone.
277
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,600
Does it have, like, a heel
278
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,560
with height?
279
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,080
Do you understand the question?
Now, was that a question,
280
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,320
whether I understood the question?
281
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,280
Does it have a heel?
282
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,080
No. No.
283
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,040
Not really. What do you mean, "Not
really"? It's a yes or no question.
284
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,680
I think all shoes have heels.
No, they don't.
285
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,720
Does this have a heel of height?
286
00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:22,560
So there's another question.
287
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,600
Are you getting exasperated?
288
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:29,960
Does the shoe you're thinking of
have a closed toe? No.
289
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,240
No way!
290
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,640
Right. Can you tell me
how many questions I've asked?
291
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,400
So with that one, seven. No!
292
00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,760
No! Well, at least
you're getting exasperated.
293
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,320
Is the shoe you're thinking of
294
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,760
on my right? No.
295
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:46,840
No way!
296
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,480
Is the shoe you're thinking of
on that side of the room?
297
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:53,920
No.
298
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,520
Is the shoe you're thinking of
on my right? Yes.
299
00:15:58,560 --> 00:15:59,960
No way!
300
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,320
Which one do you want? Both.
Both my shoes.
301
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,160
Hm.
302
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,360
You threw them further
than the others. Yeah.
303
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,920
No, that was wrong, that was wrong.
The closed-toe thing,
304
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,320
I've confused meself.
305
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,000
Didn't seem very exasperated.
306
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,240
OK, it does, it does.
307
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,600
Ooh. Does the shoe
you're thinking of
308
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,880
have a buckle on it? No.
309
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,120
No way!
310
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,280
Would the shoe that you're thinking
of make you feel bold
311
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,040
and ballerinas?
312
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,560
Yes.
313
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,600
Are you thinking of the right shoe?
314
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,080
No.
315
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,320
Thank you, Chris. Thanks, Alex.
316
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,080
Weirdly fun. Weirdly fun.
317
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,920
Chris Ramsey enters all tasks
like a bouncy, happy puppy.
318
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,880
Yes. And he was the only person
not to leave that room hating you.
319
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,440
Yes. As evidenced
by Sophie's face...
320
00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,600
Yep.
321
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,720
By the end of it, I just thought
you wanted to murder him.
322
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:29,120
Yes.
323
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,160
I think I was getting
increasingly exasperated
324
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,880
but forgetting that was what
you'd asked me to do.
325
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,120
Both similar systems. The geography
system is the way to do it.
326
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:41,720
If you just divided them in half each time,
you'd get the shoe in seven questions.
327
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,680
What Chris did well,
he barely wasted a question.
328
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,880
13 in total. Pretty impressive.
329
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,360
But the woman who'd like to
squeeze the life out of you...
330
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,720
Yes. Er, 30 in total.
331
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:55,080
It just leaves Ardal to go.
He threatened to complete the task
332
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:58,200
without asking any questions at all.
High hopes here.
333
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,600
Let's see how he got on.
334
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,160
Um,
335
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,360
is it a blue shoe? No.
336
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,760
It's not a blue shoe? Was that...
No, no, no, that's one question!
337
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,720
I have to find the shoe.
338
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:17,840
Is it a shoe that you would
mainly use for sports?
339
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,760
No. I have to find the shoe.
Basketball.
340
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,920
Bowling.
341
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,960
Walking is a sport. OK.
342
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,200
I would argue most shoes are
for walking.
343
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,520
Well, that's where we differ, Alex.
344
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,520
Would you wear this particular shoe
345
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,040
to a funeral?
346
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,560
No. You wouldn't wear it
to a funeral?
347
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:42,640
Well, I certainly wouldn't, no. No.
348
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,040
You wouldn't wear these
unless you were...
349
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,600
..going to Elvis's funeral
or something.
350
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:51,840
No, you wouldn't wear
your white ones to a funeral.
351
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:55,720
Well, I did say I wouldn't wear
my shoe to a funeral.
352
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,720
You wouldn't wear the shoe
to a funeral.
353
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,720
Oh, you wouldn't wear it, OK.
354
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,320
Is it a...
355
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,440
Is it a left shoe?
356
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,000
Yes.
357
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,880
It is a left shoe.
358
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,920
OK... I need to... find
its counterpart.
359
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,240
I have to find the shoe.
360
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,600
You would wear those to a funeral.
Of course you would.
361
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:33,840
These you would. Oh, yeah.
362
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,720
Course you would!
363
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,920
Not going to wear sandals to a funeral.
I suppose kids get away with murder.
364
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,560
They could wear whatever they want.
Not going to wear them.
365
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,400
Wouldn't wear those.
366
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,600
I have to find the shoe...
367
00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,440
But not these two. So...
368
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,560
..I'm going to go with...
369
00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,320
Is that the shoe
you were thinking of? No.
370
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,280
What do you have to do?
371
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,440
I have to find the shoe.
372
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,680
Is it a red shoe?
373
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,480
Is it reddish? Yes.
374
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,960
I have to find the shoe.
375
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,840
Could you pass that sandaly one
there?
376
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,800
This? Yeah, that one.
377
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,840
OK, I want to display this.
Is this the shoe?
378
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,840
Yes. Is it?!
379
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,600
Yeah.
380
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,200
Wow!
381
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,600
Oh, my God. Wow.
382
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,200
Before that, uh, lucky twist of fate
at the end,
383
00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,440
I would say
a more heart-breaking image
384
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,760
than Ardal sitting on
a cage of shoes
385
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,720
you'll struggle to see...
386
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,960
I can read you out his last two questions.
They're quite heart-breaking. Please.
387
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,960
The last two were
"Will Taskmaster be happy?"
388
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,240
and "Can you help me get back in?"
389
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:20,000
Taskmaster's very happy!
390
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,040
With the wisdom of hindsight,
391
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,320
was your funeral system
the best system?
392
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,760
In theory, it was,
but I do blame Alex. Ah.
393
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,360
Er, I asked a simple question -
"Would you wear it to a funeral?"
394
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,880
and he said something like,
"I wouldn't not wear it..."
395
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:39,000
I think I said, "No." Did you?!
396
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,520
How many questions? 40.
397
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,240
Oh! I mean, second last,
but not last
398
00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,680
by 121 questions.
399
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,760
Well, look, Bridget one point
for 161 questions
400
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,800
then it's Ardal, Sophie, Judi.
401
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,840
Chris, just 13 questions,
five points!
402
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,280
There it is!
403
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:02,840
Scoreboard, please. It's the closest
episode of the series so far.
404
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,280
There's just two separating
all five of them.
405
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,080
We have joint leaders -
Ardal and Chris - on seven points.
406
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,600
Pretty close. Pretty close.
407
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,440
Have you got another one ready?
Ooh, yes. Ooh!
408
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,000
Yes, and I've got some lovely news -
unless you're my wife -
409
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,160
I'm getting married again!
410
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,120
After you, Chris.
411
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,960
Oh, thank you very much.
Braver than me. Kind of you.
412
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,280
Hello, Bridget. Ah.
413
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,120
Hello. Oh, you've brought Sophie.
414
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,160
I did, yes. Oh, and Judi.
Judi's here as well.
415
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,920
Yeah. Yeah. That's nice.
416
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,280
So, shall we?
417
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,800
Go on, you can. OK.
418
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,880
"Give Alex the best stag minute."
419
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,400
"By the end of the stag minute,
420
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,600
"Alex must be ready to get married."
421
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:09,120
"You have 29 minutes to prepare
for the stag minute."
422
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,520
"Your time starts now."
423
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,560
So the obvious thing is to...
424
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,760
..pour flour on him. Yeah.
425
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:20,680
Like a stag do but in a minute.
Who's going to be... Who's going to be...
426
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,880
..the twerkin'...
427
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:27,120
Twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk. Do all
men have stag dos like that now?
428
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,720
I thought that was quite
an old-fashioned thing, wasn't it?
429
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,200
I think they do things like book
readings and things now, don't they?
430
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,560
Really?
431
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:38,400
I mean, humiliation is the main part
of this. OK.
432
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,720
Because I think... I think
TM would like to see
433
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:42,960
Alex be utterly humiliated.
434
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,600
Erm, it's my stag minute, so I...
It's going to be a surprise for me,
435
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,520
so I'm going to leave you to it. Oh,
it's going to be a surprise. OK. Oh.
436
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,560
OK, we've got to make him
have a nice time.
437
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,960
I think he likes birds.
438
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,280
Birds? And then we could watch him
through binoculars or...
439
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:03,080
He'd probably like that.
Serve him worms.
440
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:05,560
Can the bird be wearing a thong?
441
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:14,160
If you're about to show me
an actual bird twerking,
442
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,840
you might have this in the bag.
443
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,560
Who are we going to see first,
please?
444
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,000
Let's see how the bloody lads
got on.
445
00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,800
Hey! Hey!
446
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,320
Come on, Horne dog! Hey-hey!
447
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:32,440
Hi, guys. Are you ready
for your stag do?
448
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,000
Yeah, it's going to be the best
minute of your life! Hey!
449
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,080
Hey, grab your parachute!
Hey, Horne dog! Lads, lads, lads!
450
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,280
Horne dog! OK, on the count
of three!
451
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:43,240
Three, two, one...
452
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,640
Horne dog! Horne dog!
Porn mag! Porn mag!
453
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,040
Come on, Horney!
Horney, get your mask on.
454
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:51,200
This is dangerous now, I'm serious.
455
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,080
We're doing milk-balling.
Milk-balling! We're doing what?
456
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,040
Milk-balling!What do I do?
457
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:04,320
Come on! Beer and curry!
Beer and curry with the lads!
458
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:06,520
Cheers, lads. Cheers.
459
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,680
Lads, lads...
460
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,200
Oh, no. Oh, we've got him!
461
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,480
What are you going to do?
462
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,280
What you going to do?
What you going to do?
463
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,440
I can't get it on!
What you going to do?
464
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,680
Eat the key, eat the key.
Eat the keys?
465
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,960
Not you. Come on!
466
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,840
They've gone.
467
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,560
It looked like you had
the time of your life.
468
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,960
I genuinely got an adrenalin rush
watching it back.
469
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,840
It was so exciting!
470
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,880
There was one little bit
I was confused by
471
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,760
and that was when you put my face
over your heads
472
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,880
and then you appeared to throw milk
at each other with a teaspoon.
473
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,120
Let us explain. Erm...
474
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,480
It was supposed to be paintballing.
It was paintballing,
475
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,960
so we wore masks
of Alex's favourite person.
476
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,880
Yeah, yeah.
And the game was renamed...
477
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,000
Milk-balling. Milk-balling.
478
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:07,400
And the little drink
and the tiny snack was...
479
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,880
Curry. A shot of beer
and a bite of curry.
480
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:12,680
And we did the traditional thing
of tying him to a lamp post.
481
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,960
To a lamp post. Right.
482
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,640
It's time for us all to have
a lovely, well-deserved break.
483
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,200
Not you, Alex! See you soon.
484
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:32,360
Hello! Come in, settle down,
pop your feet up.
485
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,440
Yes, hi, guys,
welcome to our little home.
486
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,520
We're very happy together,
aren't we, Greg?
487
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,360
Get your fucking hand off me.
Before the...
488
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:43,360
Sorry...
489
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:50,960
Before the break...
490
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,320
..I announced my upcoming marriage
and during the break,
491
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,360
I received quite a cross message
from my wife.
492
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:58,880
The task was to give me
the best stag minute.
493
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:02,280
Next up, it's time for the girls.
494
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:03,960
Alex!
495
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,080
Yes? Come with me.
496
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:10,360
OK, there's a step.
Yes, I know there's a step here. OK.
497
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,240
You're going to have the best
stag do of your bloody life.
498
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,880
Sit down on the stool in front
of you. Open your legs.
499
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,080
Open your legs.
How many hands are on me?
500
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,320
Keep going. In, in. In?
501
00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:21,720
In.
502
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,720
Left leg. Just keep leaning forward.
Why?
503
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,520
Three, two,
504
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,960
one... Good, OK!
505
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,320
Here you go. Put your arm through.
506
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,560
Through there. Lovely. Shot.
507
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:39,320
Shot.
508
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:41,800
Shot...
509
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,000
Eat your fucking worm!
510
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,840
Ow! Ow!
511
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,320
Why?
512
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,320
What are you...
Just keep your head still!
513
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:56,760
I'm trying to eat a worm!
Tweet, tweet, tweet.
514
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,960
Meow! Meow...
515
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,840
Meow.
516
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,920
Meow?
517
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,000
Meow.
518
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,480
Whistle like a bird.
I'm making... Hoo!
519
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,760
That's an owl! Whistle!
520
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,480
Blimey.
521
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:19,280
Meow.
522
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,160
Meow...
523
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,320
Meow.
524
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,240
Right. Thank you, everyone.
525
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,360
I'm ready to get married.
526
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,240
Wow.
527
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,880
If I didn't know it was a stag do,
I'd think it was some awful...
528
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:47,760
..captured video from
Guantanamo Bay, to be honest.
529
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,480
Bird bath. We had a bath.
530
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,880
We caught him. All things that have
got nothing to do with a stag do.
531
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,456
No, but it was personal, wasn't it?
Yeah, it was personal to him.
532
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,840
He likes birds, it was
something blue for his wedding.
533
00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:01,320
Can I just make it clear,
my dad loves birds.
534
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,200
That's it.
You was enjoying yourself.
535
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,400
I was stimulated, yes. Did you hear
that? I heard that he was stimulated.
536
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:09,800
He was stimulated because
people were throwing birdseed
537
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:11,880
in the man... in the man's face!
538
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,920
We fed him... While a twerking cat
waxed his arm!
539
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:20,280
Yes, I know what you're going to
say, you were feeding him worms...
540
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,320
From my mouth!
Because we all heard you say,
541
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,080
"Just eat your fucking worm!"
542
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,640
Can we say...
We stuck to the tradition,
543
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:31,800
right? You did not.
544
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,880
Well, look, they've said
their pieces.
545
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,960
As an outside observer,
my observation is
546
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,840
that Alex might've marginally
547
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,880
enjoyed the more traditional stag do
a little more
548
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:45,600
in that he wasn't having alcohol
and birdseed thrown in his face
549
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:48,560
while a mad twerking cat
waxed his arm.
550
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,400
That's all I'm saying.
551
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,120
I'm going to give four points
to the ladies...
552
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,120
Mm-hm. ..and five points
to the gentlemen.
553
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,720
There we go,
five to Ardal and Chris!
554
00:29:57,760 --> 00:29:59,600
Come on! Wonderful!
555
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,760
Girls, we done great,
we done great.
556
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,800
And yours was great. Thank you.
557
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,160
I'm going to find that puss-face
and I'm coming for you.
558
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:12,880
Onward, please. Yes, onwards and
what's the best thing in the world?
559
00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,120
Bunting! Off we go.
560
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:21,080
My name's Greg Davies...
561
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,520
I am the Taskmaster...
the Taskmaster...
562
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:26,840
..the Taskmaster...
563
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,440
Hi. Is that Bridget?
564
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,440
Hi. Yes. Hello.
565
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:37,240
Hi, Ardal. Hi, Alex.
566
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,240
Ah... Oh, what does that say?
567
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,280
Ooh. Ooh.
568
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:45,200
Feel like I'm running through gardens again
when I was a kid, dodging washing lines.
569
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,120
Do you like what you see?
570
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,720
Letters. Mm. Yeah.
571
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,200
I'm good at letters.
572
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,880
"Make a stirring speech
for the Taskmaster
573
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,880
"out of this bunting."
574
00:30:57,920 --> 00:30:59,920
"Longest speech
575
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:04,240
"that is deemed to be stirring
by the Taskmaster wins."
576
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,760
"You may only use the letters
currently on the bunting."
577
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,760
"You have 15 minutes."
578
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,200
"Your time starts now."
579
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,000
Yes. Are you serious? Yes.
580
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,800
OK.
581
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,160
OK. Do you know what I'm going to
do? I'm going to make words. Mm-hm.
582
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:24,320
And then I'm going to make
a sentence out of the words.
583
00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,040
OK...
584
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:30,040
One, two, three.
585
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,560
How can there be no Bs?
What kind of alphabet is this?
586
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,480
Why are they all...
Are they all weird letters?
587
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,480
There must be one B. Why?
588
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,320
But why would there be no B?
Why would there be no B?!
589
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,880
And the colour coordination's
not vital either.
590
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,120
OK.
591
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,440
Is this supposed to say
a particular thing?
592
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:53,760
How long have I got left?
12 and a half. Oh, my God!
593
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:55,440
Aghh! Come on!
594
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,960
Have you made a stirring speech
before, Bridget?
595
00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:02,040
I'm no Malcolm X! Oh, right...
Treat...
596
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,040
- Why are there so many letters?
- Erm...
597
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,000
Aghh! This is horrible!
598
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,120
Sake. This is why I've got a dryer.
599
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,560
Whoo!
600
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,400
Let me... Nice.
601
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,840
I don't like the first bit.
Well, maybe I should change that.
602
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:21,000
Don't need that. Doesn't scan.
603
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,720
We'll just have to use that.
Oh, that's quite powerful.
604
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,560
OK, I'm done.
605
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,560
Do you think other people, Alex,
will...
606
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,840
..will come up with the same speech?
607
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,520
No, I would be very surprised.
Mm. Mm.
608
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,960
They all found it very stressful.
609
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,080
Very stressful. Oh, it was horrible.
610
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:47,960
But you, initially, were full of
memories of your northern childhood,
611
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:52,560
running through gardens... Yeah,
until you told us spelling was involved!
612
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:56,320
Well, we're looking for the longest
speech that you deem to be stirring.
613
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,680
Stirring.
Here is Chris Ramsey's speech.
614
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,040
Oh, God.
615
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,680
Sir,
616
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,240
on my knee,
617
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:13,160
I implore you, please,
618
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,320
let me win
619
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:17,360
this task.
620
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,200
M,
621
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:23,400
good, raa-aaa,
622
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,160
Dad.
623
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,280
Dad? Called you Dad.
Called you Dad at the end.
624
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:35,200
I did like it. Did that stir you?
625
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,600
It did stir me. I thought...
Probably not in the right way.
626
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,080
I didn't know we could do it
on the floor.
627
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,320
No-one said we could do it on the
floor. All the information was on the task.
628
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:51,480
It was stirring stuff. Mm-hm.
What about the "Please let me win"?
629
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,840
What's stirring about that?
That appeals to my grotesque ego.
630
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,440
I think the boy played a blinder,
to be honest. Hohh...
631
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:01,040
Well, then, it's very simple, isn't
it? Suck up to you and you win.
632
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:02,880
Yeah.
633
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,920
It's not rocket science.
634
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,160
Christopher, I thought it was
a very good start. Who's next?
635
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,200
Here is what Sophie Duker did.
636
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:16,720
God damn,
637
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:19,720
if Sophie Duker wins Taskmaster,
638
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,920
we all win her papa!
639
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:30,720
I also called him Dad. Yeah.
Very good.
640
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,280
Papa or Pa-pa,
641
00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,400
as some people pronounce it,
is a more reverential...
642
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:39,200
Oh, was that directed at me, "Papa"?
643
00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:41,240
If you like it.
644
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,080
I thought it was stirring. Yeah,
I mean, it started with "God damn."
645
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,480
Yes, but it was similar
grovelling sentiments to...
646
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,440
It wasn't grovelling,
it was self-sacrificing.
647
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,040
I would say also this has happened
in shows before this series
648
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,400
where Ardal has criticised
a lot of people's attempts,
649
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:01,120
partly building up
to what I know he's done.
650
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,320
If you just bear this... bear this
in mind.
651
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,600
Good. Let's crack on.
OK. Here is writer, stand-up
652
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,800
and all-round wordsmith
Bridget Christie's attempt.
653
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,800
Treat others carelessly, oik...
654
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,320
..wind...
655
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:24,440
Wind
656
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:26,280
is God.
657
00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:27,680
Wait!
658
00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:31,080
That's the end of the speech.
Thank you, Bridget.
659
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,200
You see? You saying that
you didn't have the speech skills
660
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:43,400
of Malcolm X was folly
661
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:47,080
because that speech would drop into
some of the all-time classics.
662
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:48,920
Ich bin ein Berliner,
663
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,440
oik.
664
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,360
I think, if you actually
break it down -
665
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:56,640
"Treat others carelessly, oik" -
666
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,360
I think she's referring to you
as "oik".
667
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,440
I think it's an insult.
I think it's an insult.
668
00:36:05,200 --> 00:36:09,160
She definitely doesn't think you're God
because she thinks wind is God. Wind is God.
669
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,600
You think I haven't got wind?
670
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,520
I could go off like a tugboat
right now!
671
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,160
But she hasn't necessarily finished because
she does end intriguingly with "Wait"
672
00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:20,760
and then we don't find out
what... what happens next.
673
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,560
Wait. Everyone, slow down,
we're all in such a rush.
674
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,000
You know? Wait. Think about things.
675
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,760
Right, oik, it's break time.
Time for you to take your bins out
676
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:32,800
and resentfully stare at
your partner
677
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,400
while they just sit there, again.
Your mum was right about them,
678
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,560
wasn't she?! See you in a bit!
679
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:49,080
Hello! You join us for
the final part of tonight's show
680
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,120
where we still have a task
to finish off.
681
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,320
Before the break, the comedians were
writing the most stirring speeches
682
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,240
for the Taskmaster using the letters
provided on the bunting.
683
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,040
Next up, it's Judi Love!
684
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:05,640
A,
685
00:37:05,680 --> 00:37:09,280
hi, Taskmaster,
686
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,520
I don't like you looking happy.
687
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,960
Rass man.
688
00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,560
I dare,
689
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,360
don't vex me.
690
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:21,760
End.
691
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:25,440
Wow.
692
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,080
Are you calling me a rass man?
Well, you know,
693
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,400
I added a little culture in there,
694
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:37,000
Jamaican culture, and called you a rass...
Could you interpret "Rass man" for me?
695
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,360
A rass is like...
696
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,360
..an arse.
697
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:45,160
And you warned me not to vex you.
698
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,040
Not to vex you... Well, maybe
I'll vex you plenty, my friend.
699
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,640
So shall we see Ardal's rubbish one?
700
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,080
Yes...
701
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,160
Any last words, Ardal,
before we see it?
702
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,200
Uh, no, I think all my words...
703
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:02,920
All the words I know I think I used.
704
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:09,080
OK. Finally, here he is.
It's Ardal O'Ardal. Here we go.
705
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,680
I am seven
706
00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:15,840
types of rank
707
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,480
tit.
708
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,640
U R swel, man.
709
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,680
Hail TM!
710
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,960
Obviously I was drunk with ego
with "Hail TM."
711
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,640
Erm, but you're doing yourself down
a little bit
712
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,280
with, erm, "rank tit".
Seven types. Seven types.
713
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:42,560
"Seven types of rank tit." They were
the only letters available to me.
714
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:48,280
That's definitely not true. You used
the fewest letters by quite some margin.
715
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,080
Some of them were damaged.
716
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,960
Well, Ardal's was the shortest -
36 characters -
717
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,240
then Bridget 39, Sophie 51,
Chris 57.
718
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,640
Judi's was the longest
at 61 characters.
719
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,080
It's impressive stuff.
Are we deeming them all...
720
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,800
Go on, let's say there's an element
of stir in all of them.
721
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,936
Well, in that case,
it's one to Ardal, two to Bridget,
722
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,480
three to Sophie, four to Chris,
but five to Judi Love!
723
00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:12,800
Oh!
724
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:19,360
There is one other thing. Everyone struggled
a little bit with the letters provided.
725
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,280
People questioned the lack of Bs.
726
00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,320
Er, these were obviously
the letters here.
727
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:26,840
Nobody worked out why those letters
were provided.
728
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,160
Any thoughts, Greg? The red flags?
729
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:31,760
Exactly, if they looked at
the red flags, you see it says,
730
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,840
"Look under the desk!"
731
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:39,960
Hello! Welcome at last
to Taskmaster.
732
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,880
I'm Greg Davies
and I am the Taskmaster.
733
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,760
I'm powerful and in peak
physical condition.
734
00:39:47,920 --> 00:39:51,280
That is of course the most stirring
speech in all Taskmaster history
735
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,560
and we did provide all the letters
for that
736
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,080
and an extra K because
we got it slightly wrong.
737
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:05,640
Incredible that we would
get something wrong.
738
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,800
Right, one more look at the scores,
I think.
739
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:11,200
All right. We have Sophie and Ardal
in joint third on 13,
740
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:13,720
Judi on 14, Chris in the lead
with 16 points!
741
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:20,000
Right. Please vacate the area
742
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:24,800
and head to the stage
for the final task of the show!
743
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:37,640
Wow. That's the slimmest
I've ever looked in my life.
744
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:41,360
Who will read the task out,
little Alex Horne?
745
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,800
Ardal O'Hanlon will read
the task out.
746
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,200
Please, Ardal.
OK. "Taking it in turns,
747
00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:48,480
"roll a tyre down the nappet."
748
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,600
"You must roll from on the stage."
749
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,240
"If your tyre does not pass
the line,
750
00:40:53,280 --> 00:40:55,520
"you may not roll
any further tyres."
751
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:58,720
"If both your dolls topple, you may
not roll any further tyres..."
752
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,320
So you're trying to avoid toppling
your own doll. Exactly.
753
00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:04,480
OK. "Last doll standing wins."
754
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:09,040
So your tactics are to try to knock
everyone else's dolls over,
755
00:41:09,080 --> 00:41:12,400
but not yours. OK. As soon as both
your dolls are toppled, you're out.
756
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,640
You'll be going one at a time
from last place to first place.
757
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:18,040
There's a chance some people
won't get to roll at all.
758
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,720
And I would like to point out
every time your roll your tyre,
759
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:22,760
it must cross the red line.
760
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,280
So first of all, Bridget will roll.
761
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:27,600
Wow.
762
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,600
Let's roll. Right. Exactly.
763
00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:31,800
Let's roll. So good luck, Bridget,
764
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,480
you're trying to avoid yourself.
Yes.
765
00:41:37,360 --> 00:41:39,160
It's a great roll.
766
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,720
Aww! That's OK. That's OK.
767
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,400
Next to roll, Ardal O'Hanlon.
768
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:52,600
Left-handed, is it?
769
00:41:55,760 --> 00:41:58,920
Ooh! Ohh!
770
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,480
Chris Ramsey is out!
771
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,240
We've lost Chris Ramsey.
He will not get to roll.
772
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,680
I guess that's just the way
the tyre rolls.
773
00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,480
Who's next?
774
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,840
Sophie Duker is next.
775
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,680
Sister queen, don't do it!
776
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,720
Ooh. Ohh... It went past the line.
777
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:45,800
It did go past the line.
Next to roll, Judi Love.
778
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,440
Let's see if the same loyalty
applies! Sister queen...
779
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,960
Get! Judi... No, Judi.
780
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,960
No, Judi. No, Judi. No, Judi.
781
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,880
Look at this shit! Look at this!
782
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,120
My nail has fucking popped off!
783
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,800
I deserve another point!
784
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:19,760
Judi... Judi, there's good news
and bad news.
785
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,176
The good news is you are still
in the game, you can still win,
786
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,680
but you can't take part in the game.
I mean, that was not fair.
787
00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:26,720
It was fair, you've still got
a chance,
788
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,200
but, I mean, what are the chances
of people not targeting you now?
789
00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:33,880
OK, so we're back to the beginning.
It's back to Bridget Christie again.
790
00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,000
Yes. Right.
Been eventful, hasn't it?
791
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,520
Only one person struck so far.
Chris is out.
792
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:41,840
Mind my nail, Bridget. My nail.
793
00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:45,680
Ah! Ahh!
794
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,960
Three left in.
Yes, we've lost Judi Love.
795
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:58,320
Now, we know who's up next.
It's the deadly Ardal O'Hanlon.
796
00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:00,120
It's tense.
797
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,080
Ooh, who will I aim for?
798
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,160
Ohh, no.
799
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,640
Ooh.
800
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:08,280
Ooh, straight in!
801
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:11,800
Oh, my God.
802
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,000
We've lost Sophie.
803
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,120
It's the final.
It's Bridget versus Ardal
804
00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,400
and it's Bridget to roll.
Come on, Bridget.
805
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:21,040
You can do it, Bridget.
Go on, girl.
806
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,280
Yes!
807
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:40,080
Let's see how that's affected
the final score. Come and join me!
808
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:50,040
Pretty exciting stuff. Yes, yes.
809
00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:53,920
Three people in joint third,
two people in joint first.
810
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,360
What? Wow. And the scoreboard
looks like this.
811
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:01,520
So it's a tie
between Ardal and Chris Ramsey!
812
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:03,760
Ooh!
813
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,880
How will we sort
this awful mess out?
814
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,120
With the only way known to man.
815
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,280
With a beer-mat-flipping tiebreak!
816
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:13,560
Ohh...
817
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,480
All they had to do was turn over
the most beer mats out of 91
818
00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:19,160
in 30 seconds. Simple.
819
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:21,200
Here is how they got on.
820
00:45:21,240 --> 00:45:23,760
"Your time starts now."
821
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:29,440
Quick as you can, Ardal.
822
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:31,360
How's it going? Shut up.
823
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,560
Five seconds.
824
00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:40,360
That was a quick 30 seconds, that.
Thank you.
825
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:50,680
So we only counted the beer mats that
were still on the table after the task.
826
00:45:50,720 --> 00:45:52,120
Out of 91,
827
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:55,200
Chris flipped 59 beers mats.
828
00:45:55,240 --> 00:45:57,160
Ardal -
829
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,680
64. Nice one!
830
00:45:59,720 --> 00:46:02,920
Congratulations, Ardal O'Hanlon!
831
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,000
Ardal O'Hanlon wins!
832
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:09,280
Please go and collect
those nice night-time knick-knacks!
833
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:13,480
Very good. Really good.
834
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,880
So what have we learned today?
Well, we've learned
835
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,200
if you're off on a stag or a hen do
this weekend,
836
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:20,240
you've got to look out
for the twerking cat
837
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,880
because you don't want it
to spoil your game of milk-ball!
838
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,720
Four out of ten complete.
See you again soon.
839
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:29,160
But for now, let's hear it
for Ardal O'Hanlon!