1
00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,455
SHE GROANS WITH FRUSTRATION
2
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,095
HE GRUNTS
3
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:13,215
SHE GASPS
4
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,535
Up!
5
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:16,895
Oh!
6
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:17,935
Shut up!
7
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,495
SHE LAUGHS
8
00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:23,775
Arghg
9
00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,975
What?
10
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,695
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,935
Hello!
12
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,895
Hello, thank you.
13
00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,335
I'm Greg Davies, and this is
a brand-new series of Taskmaster.
14
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,095
CHEERING
15
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,175
The show is a well-oiled machine
now,
16
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,495
and I am your well-oiled host.
17
00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,895
Let me tell you beneath this suit
I am basted with
18
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,895
the finest goose fat
and ready to pop in the oven.
19
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:58,975
Afterwards, take me out
and I'll melt in the mouth.
20
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,215
Mm! Delicious.
21
00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:06,335
And after the meal,
what entertainment can I offer?
22
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,775
Easy. I shall take five
successful comedians
23
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,335
and make them dance for you,
24
00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,695
dance like they never thought it
possible to dance,
25
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,455
until their hot tears
fill their greedy little eyes,
26
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,455
for they all long
to take home this -
27
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,855
a cheap mass-produced effigy
of my head.
28
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:26,215
Let the games commence.
Please welcome Dara 0 Briain.
29
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:27,615
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,095
Fern Brady.
31
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:30,695
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,255
john Kearns.
33
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,535
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,975
Mun ya Chawawa.
35
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,255
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,055
And Sarah Millican.
37
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,295
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38
00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,735
And next to me, a man who recently
confided in me when drunk
39
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:49,335
that before bed each night, his wife
puts talcum powder on his rear end
40
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,815
and special area in what
he described to me
41
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,095
as his night-night bot-bot
powder party.
42
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,495
HIGH VOICE: It's little Alex Horne!
43
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:04,735
Hey, Greg.
Hey, mate.
44
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,495
Finally I've had the first draft of
my new book. You want to see it?
45
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,255
Yeah.
It's great.
46
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,575
OK. It's, er...
Well you know about it, obviously.
47
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,935
It's the new autobiography of you.
48
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,295
It's called Greg? A Force Of Nature.
49
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,695
Thank you.
50
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,615
It's quite weighty, it's 700 pages.
It's the first part of eight.
51
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:23,335
Erm...
52
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,215
I like it. Do you want me
to read you an excerpt?
53
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,015
Read me an excerpt.
OK. Ooh,
54
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:30,415
Ancl then Greg Davies leapt off
his horse and shouted,
55
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:31,895
"That's how it's clone, losers."
56
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,255
Ancl all the guys and girls
watching him applauded,
57
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,175
and knelt down before him,
and they lay down before him
58
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,055
and sort of—curled up into balls
before him
59
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,975
and Greg picked them up
and rolled them at a barn
60
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,615
and roared at them.
61
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,015
And on we go.
62
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,655
What's the first prize task category
of this new series,
63
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,055
my little furry friend?
64
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:51,375
Oh, today you've asked them
to bring in
65
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,655
the most jaw-dropping item.
66
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:54,775
Ah, ouch.
67
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,735
Ancl the most jaw-dropping item of
them all will get its owner
68
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,455
five points, an early lead
in the series. Ker-ching.
69
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,655
Plus at the end of the show,
70
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,055
the winner will take home
five jaw-dropping items
71
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:06,735
and probably get lockjaw, Greg.
72
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,655
Right, let's begin.
73
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,735
Dara, what jaw-dropping item
might you have brought us?
74
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:19,655
For me, jaw-dropping is defined
by whenever you see Bugs Bunny
75
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,335
or another beloved cartoon character
dressed as a sexy female version
76
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,415
of themselves, so I got this made.
77
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,855
LAUGHTER
78
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,095
GREG CACKLES
79
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:37,015
It certainly an old man, isn't it?
80
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,775
If you're not entirely sure about
how draw-dropping that is,
81
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,495
you have to see the effect
it had on Alex.
82
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,215
APPLAUSE
83
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,655
This is strong.
84
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,215
Well played. Fern?
85
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,255
I brought in a framed picture of
a rescue chicken
86
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:04,575
called Fern Brady,
named after me, Fern Brady.
87
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,215
Here is a chicken
called Fern Brady.
88
00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,775
Yep, there's this couple called
David and Carol
89
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:16,175
that really, really love comedy
a lot, and they have rescue chickens
90
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:18,135
named after different
female comedians.
91
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,055
I don't know if
you've got one, Sarah.
92
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,015
There's a Sarah Millican chicken
as well.
93
00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,335
That's the thing is they always
update you
94
00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,575
on how your chicken is doing,
95
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,575
so, like, Fern Brady the chicken was
the biggest girl of the lot.
96
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,375
She really enjoyed her food.
97
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,255
But during the pandemic
when I'd lost all my work
98
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:37,375
and I was feeling sad, I got
a tweet from them one day saying,
99
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,055
"Fern Brady died this morning.
100
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:42,735
"She was doing what she loved best,
101
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,015
"eating breakfast
out of David's hand."
102
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,935
That's pretty jaw-dropping.
103
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,615
OK.
These are strong so far.
104
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,975
Someone's got to drop the ball soon,
haven't they?
105
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,335
Well, it's john's turn now.
john, what have you brought in?
106
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,015
I brought in the, er,
Guinness World Records book.
107
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,175
This is going to take
some talking round.
108
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,815
There's a tomato that's over 10lb,
which is the size of a domestic cat.
109
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,335
It's a big tomato, he is right.
110
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,135
You've got the hairiest family.
111
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,495
They're the ones with hair
over their face? They're 98% hair.
112
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,335
They themselves are not 98% hair.
113
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,015
Is there the guy who was the
quickest ever to get one point?
114
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,775
Mun ya, what have you brought in?
115
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:26,295
Sol have brought in
a knitted version of my head.
116
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,735
Here is his head.
117
00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:33,815
What I like is that
they've really nailed
118
00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,055
how your teeth are on your lips.
119
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,975
They've really caught that,
haven't they, in wool?
120
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:48,495
I don't own it. I had to buy it.
What? What?!
121
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,175
Yeah, I had to buy it. £200.
122
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:52,215
OUTCRY
123
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,695
It's pretty... I mean, it's awful.
124
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,255
Sarah, can you beat that?
125
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:06,175
It's a ceramic dildo that has
one of my jokes...engraved?
126
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,135
Is that the right word?
127
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,535
I've never written on a dildo,
apart from "Mine."
128
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,695
I was told it was a ceramic
bangle holder. Here it is.
129
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,255
"Never put anything in your mouth
you don't want to."
130
00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:26,895
Which is the one bit of sex advice
my mam ever gave me.
131
00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:30,855
That is genuinely quite shocking.
132
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,295
You've seen all five.
133
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:33,895
One point to john.
134
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,095
One point. OK.
135
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,415
I really loved it,
but I'm only giving him two points.
136
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,415
It's Munya's knitted head.
137
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,815
Oh!
That's harsh. That's harsh.
138
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,175
Yeah, sorry, it is harsh,
isn't it, yeah? Two points, OK.
139
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:44,055
I'm going to give joint hon ours
140
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:48,735
to Dara's jaw-dropping cartoon
and, incredibly,
141
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,415
Sarah's ceramic dildo,
142
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,775
because the thing that genuinely
shocked me the most
143
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,455
was that Fern would read,
"Fern Brady is dead."
144
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,055
That's the thing
that made my jaw drop.
145
00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:00,415
OK, well, five points go to
Fern Brady. There it is.
146
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:01,975
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
147
00:07:04,720 --> 00:07:07,055
Here we go, then.
What have we got first, Alex?
148
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,095
Well, we have a box-fresh task
to kick off proceedings.
149
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,495
Hello, Alex.
150
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,935
Oh, hello, Sarah.
151
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,335
Come in.
Oh, I've got a bit big-headed.
152
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,775
Do you want me to help you?
Yes, please, I really do.
153
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,375
I'm in.
Oh, yeah.
154
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:46,735
Yes. How you doing?
I'm good thanks, Mun ya.
155
00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:47,935
Oh, hi, Fern.
156
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,215
Hi.
157
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,375
Hi,john.
158
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:55,015
Hello, Alex.
159
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,695
This way, please.
160
00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,295
This way please. Yeah.
161
00:07:58,320 --> 00:07:59,495
Hello, Dara.
162
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,895
Hello, Alex. How are you?
163
00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:04,255
So, yes, face the front.
164
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,215
You can take one step to me
if you want.
165
00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:07,815
Oh, that's... That's nice.
166
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,175
Ancl you can rotate this way
a little bit if you want.
167
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,855
Yeah, cool. just looking around.
Ancl you can open the task.
168
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,095
Would you like to read the task?
169
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,055
FERN CHUCKLES
170
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,855
Yeah.
171
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,575
Would you mind reading it to me,
please? No, no. Very happy too.
172
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,975
You can either post it in
the top of me head
173
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,775
or you can maybe
read it for me.
174
00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,335
Oh, I'd love to read it for you.
Yes, please.
175
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,055
You can hear the rustle
of anticipation.
176
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:43,215
Right, Mun ya,
what ten films are you in?
177
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,495
You have 15 minutes.
178
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,815
Most correct films named wins.
179
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,135
What do you mean,
what ten films am I in?
180
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:52,215
Your time starts now.
181
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,135
What do you mean?!
182
00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,415
Most correct films?
183
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:57,935
Named wins.
184
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,255
That I am in?
Mm-hm.
185
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,215
That I am in?
186
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,095
Yes.
187
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,335
I thought they conducted themselves
with absolute dignity,
188
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:20,415
and I'm very excited to see them.
And might I say as a side note,
189
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,735
Fern's early fury bodes very well
for the rest of the series.
190
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:32,295
OK, here we go. It's Dara O Briain,
John Kearns, and Fern Brady.
191
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,415
Number one.
192
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,335
You're trying to work out
what film is that.
193
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:39,655
That is...arrow, bow.
194
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,415
Bow... Bowfinger?
195
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,215
Not far off.
196
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,495
What ten films am I in?
197
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,575
Se'! en?
198
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,095
Yeah, that's one out of ten.
199
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,855
What, did I just get one?
Yep.
200
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,895
Arrow. Bow.
201
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,375
It's a sheep. Bo Peep. Ram. Bow.
202
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:56,975
Rambo!
Correct.
203
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,815
Wizard.
OK.
204
00:09:58,840 --> 00:09:59,895
Boomerang.
205
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,175
So remember it's a film.
206
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,135
Wizard.
Mm-hm.
207
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:04,215
Boomerang.
208
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:07,295
I haven't seen that.
209
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,655
This is a, erm, a bendy stick
that comes back to you.
210
00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,815
Erm, but what's that called again?
211
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,855
Oh, Australian, er...
212
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,255
Not kangaroo!
213
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,135
Stop saying kangaroo, my brain.
214
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,375
Erm...it is a boomerang!
215
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:23,975
What the hell is that?
216
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,415
Like, an elf wears that,
but there's no elves in Australia.
217
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,255
Australian Wizard.
218
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,335
Oh, maybe another word
for an Australian. Yes.
219
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:32,575
Wizard Of Oz.
220
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:33,655
Correct.
221
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,615
Erm, jugs, jar...
222
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,095
The three Amigos?
223
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,415
What the hell would be in this?
224
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,855
I don't know. The Chipmunks?
225
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,255
Hmm. Next one. I'm good at these...
I like these games.
226
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,735
Eugh! Crusty golf.
227
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,695
Cornflakes, golf club.
Yep.
228
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,295
Cornflakes club.
229
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,535
The Breakfast Club!
230
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:54,615
Correct!
231
00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:55,775
WOW!
232
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,095
This is a club. Something club?
Uh-huh.
233
00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,415
Oh, Jesus Christ.
234
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,055
Go on to the next one.
OK.
235
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,615
So they're peas.
236
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,175
OK. What's the movie?
237
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,535
Er... Peas?
238
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,495
Oh, for Jesus' sake.
239
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,815
You've got three
and a half minutes.
240
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:15,975
Oh, my God. Really?
241
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,255
Frozen peas.
242
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,415
Frozen!
243
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,255
Correct.
244
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,415
This is an orange.
245
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,975
DARA AND JOHN: Clockwork Orange.
Correct.
246
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,295
I feel like this one's
actually an easy one.
247
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,415
Yes.
248
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,215
But it's not coming to me.
249
00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,495
Stones. Romancing The Stone.
250
00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:33,655
Er...
251
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,295
I'm going to go with Moon.
252
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:36,935
Moon. OK.
253
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,415
Top Gun.
254
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,255
No.
Fan Gun.
255
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,495
No.
256
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,215
Fan Me...
257
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,775
Fanny Weapon.
258
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,135
It's not Fanny Weapon.
259
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,175
Oh! Gone With The Wind.
260
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,335
Correct.
261
00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,655
Oh, are you looking for number nine?
Yeah.
262
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,135
OK. I'm number nine.
263
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,695
Those are carrots, right?
264
00:11:56,720 --> 00:11:59,015
Yep, and then I've got things
in my hands as well.
265
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,895
Eugh! A teabag?
266
00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,455
OK.
Is it?
267
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:03,975
Yeah, and then one other thing here.
268
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,175
Carrot tea.
269
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,455
Carroty Ginger.
270
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,975
But that's not ginger.
271
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,215
Oh, it's a horse.
272
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,935
Goat teabag carrots.
273
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,335
Carroty Ram.
274
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,575
Carroty Goat? What the hell.
275
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,015
Karate Kid!
276
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,055
Correct.
277
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:22,255
You're number ten.
278
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,775
You represent a moment in a film.
279
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,095
You've got 30 seconds.
280
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,455
In total?
In total, yeah.
281
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,815
Oh, shite.
Yeah, no, it's gone badly.
282
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:33,095
It has gone badly, hasn't it?
Mm. Yeah.
283
00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:36,855
Your time's up, Dara.
284
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,095
APPLAUSE
285
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:47,215
—I'm sure the expression on that box
changed to great sadness.
286
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,655
It got sadder.
287
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,015
That still photo got sadder
and sadder
288
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,055
as I couldn't remember the names
of any films.
289
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,455
Dara not the first comedian
to do this show
290
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,775
because his children enjoy it
291
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:03,175
only to lose all the respect his
children previously had for him.
292
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,815
So he got three out of
the ten films.
293
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,815
John, when you just shouted at
the top of your voice "Chipmunks,"
294
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:14,135
it felt like a man throwing in
the towel for the whole series.
295
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,455
Fern, pleased with your performance?
296
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,455
Yeah, I think I did O...
Did I do OK?
297
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,815
How many did Fern get?
Let's just find out straight away.
298
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,175
She got 60% of them right.
Six out of ten.
299
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,935
Really good, really good.
APPLAUSE
300
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,175
Nice!
301
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,735
I thought that The Wizard Of Oz,
I thought your title was better.
302
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,655
What did I pick?
The Australian Wizard.
303
00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:38,135
Six points,
and john got four points?
304
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:42,735
Yes. One film that you were adamant
about was Peas the film, and
305
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,455
as it's not a real film, I wonder
if you wanted to pitch it, maybe.
306
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,975
Peas, er, a lovely gardener,
307
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,615
er, during lockdown.
Yep.
308
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:55,695
The only thing that grows
in his garden is peas. Yep.
309
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:59,295
Erm, he goes to bed,
the peas run in the house
310
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:03,135
and, er, they kill him,
and then live his life.
311
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,615
That's Peas.
Coming to a cinema near you.
312
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,575
Right, that's the end of part one,
or for our French speaking viewers,
313
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,055
la bibliotheque est dans le jardin.
314
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,695
Bonsoir, welcome back,
315
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:29,535
and for our French-speaking viewers,
316
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,015
Alex est un pet it cheval.
317
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,255
Oh!
318
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:37,535
So where were we, Alex?
319
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,215
Merci pour la baguette.
320
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:43,135
Yes, our five contestants
were in ten films.
321
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,735
Before the break, Dara, Fern and
John worked out what a few of them
322
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,455
were, but how will our final two do?
323
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,335
Let's find out as Sarah Millican
and Mun ya Chawawa investigate.
324
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,455
What is this now?
325
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,935
This is a bow and arrow.
I know the feeling of this.
326
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,655
OK.
OK.
327
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:00,255
A ram. Silence Of The Rams?
328
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,935
It's not Silence Of The Rams.
329
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,735
Sheep. A ram.
330
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,095
Rambo.
331
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,695
Correct.
Yes!
332
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,135
So it's a witch's hat.
333
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,575
Boomerang.
334
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,135
Oh, such a puzzle.
335
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:14,535
Oh, The Wizard Of Oz.
336
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:16,375
Correct! You're good at this, Mun ya.
337
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,575
Yeah, catch.
338
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:18,655
|'m joking.
339
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,335
The Wizard Of Oz Returns?
340
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,655
You sort of said it.
341
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,335
Well, give me the point, then.
342
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,095
What's the film?
The Wizard Of Oz?
343
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,255
Correct.
344
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,015
Oh, Australia! Oh, you clicks.
345
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,615
Pardon?
Nothing, I'm having a great clay.
346
00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:33,215
One jar, two jar, three jar.
347
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,695
Jar Wars.
348
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,055
Jill's?
349
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,535
Close.
Jaws.
350
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,855
Correct.
351
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,295
It's like a golf club with eczema.
352
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,135
Something club.
353
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,415
Fight Club.
No.
354
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,215
Breakfast Club.
355
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:49,975
Correct.
Yes!
356
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,615
Oh! Peas.
357
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:53,895
Eugh, man. Oh!
358
00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,135
Oh, it's peas.
359
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,575
SARAH AND MUNYA: Frozen.
Correct.
360
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:57,775
Yes!
361
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,015
This is...
362
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,095
Clockwork Orange.
363
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,375
Clockwork Orange.
Correct.
364
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,135
The Rock?
Close.
365
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:04,895
The Rock 2?
366
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,455
Rock? Rocky.
367
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:07,535
Correct.
368
00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:09,095
Is the word...Rocky?
369
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,615
Correct.
Oh, God.
370
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,095
What is it, a gun?
Yes.
371
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,775
Gundhi?
372
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,135
It's not Gundhi no.
373
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,255
Gun With The Wind.
374
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:19,535
Oh, my word. Correct, yes.
375
00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,375
Yes!
376
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:22,495
Gone With The Wind!
377
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,415
Correct.
Shut your face.
378
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,495
Bro, you're a bit older than
the kid, but Karate Kid.
379
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,375
Correct.
Yes!
380
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,375
You are clue number ten.
381
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,495
I am?
Yes.
382
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:33,975
I'm not in any films.
383
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,735
Sarah Millican.
The Sarah Millican Film. No.
384
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,095
My head right now is in a box.
Yes.
385
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,415
That is the exact same
as a moment in a film.
386
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,815
Yes.
387
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,415
Er...
388
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,375
Big Heads, Coneheads,
Cardboard Heads.
389
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,495
No.
390
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,175
Do you want to blow the whistle,
or shall I?
391
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,535
Yeah, you blow the whistle.
392
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,375
I'm intrigued by Mun ya
picked up a bow and said,
393
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:04,695
I've written it down
cos I was so intrigued,
394
00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,575
"I know the feeling of this."
395
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:14,095
So in Zimbabwe, we used
to have nine gardeners, OK?
396
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,855
Now it's not because we're bougie,
397
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,255
it's because that's just
the done thing. So basically...
398
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,615
To have nine gardeners?
Yeah. My dad was like,
399
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,495
"Look, I can't afford
these nine gardeners.
400
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,975
"Too many, yeah?
So we need to rank them."
401
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,335
So he put me in charge
of ranking them.
402
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,655
So what I would do is
I would give them tasks
403
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,615
like I was a Zimbabwe taskmaster,
404
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,055
and one of them was to make me
a bow and arrow.
405
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:38,935
So the person who made me the bow
and arrow was top gardener. So...
406
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,935
What the fuck's going on?
407
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:44,295
It's worth you knowing that
he will mention Zimbabwe
408
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,015
in every single task.
409
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,015
Wow, amazing. Give me some scores.
410
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:52,175
Well, I can tell you
Sarah got seven out of ten,
411
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,175
Mun ya eight out of ten.
412
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,375
APPLAUSE
413
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,575
Which means Mun ya gets five points,
four to Sarah, three to Fern,
414
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,375
two to john,
Dara just a single point.
415
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,255
Dara, you're pretty angry
about this, yeah?
416
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,615
Not at you, not at the show,
not at the concept.
417
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,015
That was the whole idea - puzzles
and fun. I'm just angry at me.
418
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,935
We're only in the first task proper.
Yes.
419
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:18,575
Which means that john is last place
by quite some distance,
420
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,855
but in joint first we have Fern
and Sarah with eight points.
421
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,255
APPLAUSE
422
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:28,535
Let's see another task, please.
423
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,775
OK, then, Greg, it's our first
location task of the series,
424
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,135
and this time, for a bit of a laugh,
we borrowed the whole of
425
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,455
Gatwick airport's south terminal.
426
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,375
Good stuff. Loo roll VT.
427
00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,575
Hello, Alex.
428
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,095
Hi, Fern.
Hey.
429
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,295
Imagine if I just knocked it
over the... Waaah!
430
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,255
That would be funny, wouldn't it?
431
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,575
Oh, I love a toilet roll!
432
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:15,175
I feel much happier now that
there's loads of toilet rolls here.
433
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,095
Oh, I'm going to love this.
434
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,415
"Land loo roll in the loo."
435
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,095
"You must stay on
the spot at all times."
436
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,975
"Most loo roll in the loo wins."
437
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,775
"You have 15 minutes.
Your time starts now."
438
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,335
That's not an easy shot.
439
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:35,735
Well, in my real life,
I'm actually amazing at this.
440
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,455
I'm always knocking
full toilet rolls into the toilet.
441
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,775
What happens when I run out?
442
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,575
You'll either be happy or sad.
443
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,535
You know, in Zimbabwe,
I'm used to long drops,
444
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,895
so this should be a doozy.
445
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,335
Or a loozy.
446
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,815
Do you genuinely knock full toilet
rolls into the toilet regularly?
447
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,615
Yeah. I get in trouble for it.
So do I.
448
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,975
It's so upsetting. I've got a
massive mirror in my bathroom,
449
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,695
and I would say once a week
I do that and look at myself,
450
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,495
and go, "You fat arsehole."
451
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:11,055
Let's plaY-
452
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,855
OK, first to use the toilet,
it's Dara and Fern.
453
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,135
OK, I'll try one
just to try one OK?
454
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:22,855
No.
455
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,415
How long have I got? 15 minutes?
456
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,335
You've got 15 minutes.
457
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,655
Oh, no.
458
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,735
Oh, no.
459
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,935
Oh, no!
460
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,735
Can I roll it down something?
461
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,255
Wadding it.
462
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,815
Drainage pipe anywhere?
463
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:45,055
Oh, no!
464
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,295
String? Wire?
465
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,295
Do you think I should have a tactic?
466
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:52,775
I don't know.
467
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,335
Flt just...
468
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:55,615
Oh!
469
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,415
Did that count?
No.
470
00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:01,855
Obviously I could do it
in smaller chunks
471
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,095
and get something in.
472
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:05,775
That wasn't one of them.
473
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,455
Sort of counted, that one.
474
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,375
Get an ideal amount of weight
to stability.
475
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,015
Yes! Yes!
476
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,975
Can we break into
a fishing supply store?
477
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:35,775
That wasn't anywhere near it.
478
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,375
Over?
You've got 13 minutes left.
479
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:39,855
Another way of directing this.
480
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,295
OK, I'm off the mark.
481
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,135
I think you've finished early.
Well clone.
482
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,415
Thank you. Congratulations.
1 out of 12 went in.
483
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,095
You weren't expecting a second one
to land, were you?
484
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,255
Oh!
WHISTLE BLOWS
485
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,095
I hit the rim six times in a row.
486
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:19,455
I hit the rim six times in a row.
That's shattering.
487
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:21,695
APPLAUSE
488
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,855
It's terrible to watch
Dara ruminating to himself
489
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,175
over the many ways he could do this,
490
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,415
and I wrote down my impression
was that Dara was
491
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,055
walking the fine line
between physics theorist
492
00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:36,855
and confused uncle in a shed.
493
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,455
But he landed a couple
of sweet ones in the pan, right?
494
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,255
Yes, he got a whole roll in, which
is 140 sheets, we all know that,
495
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,975
and 43 other individual sheets.
496
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,775
I do have to go through the toilet
at the end of this task
497
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,735
and count them. That was
the only pleasure left open to me
498
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,535
is the thought of you
going through my toilet paper
499
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,215
and individually counting
the sheets.
500
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,775
That must have given you a little
lift after all of the rim shots
501
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,175
which were, and I quote,
"shattering."
502
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:13,655
Fern had a less technical system.
503
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,055
It seemed to me that
you thought,
504
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,415
"Yeah, I'm just going to chuck
all these one by one,
505
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,215
"and after each one I'm going to go,
'Oh, no!"'
506
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:24,255
Yeah, and I didn't realise till you
said there was 13 minutes left,
507
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,895
that was when I realised
I might have done it differently
508
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,255
to everyone else.
Who's next?
509
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,735
Next up to throw down
are Mun ya and Millican.
510
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:36,135
Part of me thinks it's just
throwing and hoping it hits.
511
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,415
If I break these into pieces,
I could basically have 100 shots.
512
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:42,935
Oh!
513
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,815
It does have to go in the loo.
Yeah, I know that.
514
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,335
We've all missed the seat a few
times in our life, haven't we?
515
00:23:47,360 --> 00:23:48,455
There you go.
516
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:49,575
I'm just going to start.
517
00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,415
Oh! That was quite close.
518
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,375
Maybe this isn't impossible.
519
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:59,055
Oh!
520
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,295
1115'! keep it going.
521
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:01,535
LeBron James.
522
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:04,175
LeBron James.
523
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,775
No. Maybe here.
524
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,015
No. Too far.
525
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,375
LeBron James.
526
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:15,535
LeBron James.
527
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,375
Ready for this?
528
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,615
LeBron James.
529
00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:22,215
Shit.
530
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,695
No.
TOILET FLUSHES
531
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,535
Oh, I flushed it, though!
532
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,215
That's just over half your
loo rolls gone.
533
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,095
If feels silly to just
chuck five more.
534
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:32,135
LeBron James.
535
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,215
LeBron James.
536
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,735
Oh!
537
00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,015
Could I get some water?
538
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,415
Oh, thank you.
539
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:43,735
I couldn't get off me spot.
Sticking to the rules.
540
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:44,735
Thank you.
541
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,535
Just wet them to make them
a bit heavier. Yeah.
542
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,215
Does it count?
543
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,615
Stupid game anyway.
544
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,575
This is so satisfying!
545
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,175
I can't believe I missed this many.
This is impossible.
546
00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,135
The ones with the little tails
do look amazing when they go.
547
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,655
Yeah, well, it's not about your
artistic direction, is it?
548
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,055
It's about getting them in.
549
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:13,095
No.
550
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,815
How long, how long?
551
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,535
NO! No!
552
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:17,855
Yes!
553
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:19,055
Ten seconds.
554
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,935
This is the final bit of loo roll,
is it? Yeah.
555
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,135
Good luck!
556
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:26,935
No.
557
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,335
WHISTLE BLOWS
That's pretty good.
558
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,415
WHISTLE BLOWS
559
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,335
Oh, for God's sake.
560
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,135
Whatever, Alex.
561
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,015
APPLAUSE
562
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,295
Mun ya, at the beginning,
what did you mean when you said,
563
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,535
"We've all missed the seat
sometimes?"
564
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:49,975
Listen, we all have a past.
565
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,255
You poo off the seat?
566
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,575
Not me personally, just, you know,
567
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:58,375
when you've got nine gardeners,
a lot of stuff happens.
568
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,015
Fascinating.
569
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:04,375
Erm, Sarah, you stopped halfway
through to try a new system. Yeah.
570
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,415
And it was a delight.
571
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,855
Aw!
Make the paper heavy.
572
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,495
Yeah.
Make it more like a poo.
573
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,815
Not like mine.
They... Oh, no?
574
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:15,135
No. That's too solid for me.
575
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,375
Is it?
Yeah.
576
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,735
Just a disaster zone, is it?
Yeah.
577
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,255
Yeah. I mean, I'll be honest
with you, Sarah, mine's not pretty.
578
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:24,655
But I thought it was
a master stroke.
579
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,135
I don't know that it worked.
580
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,975
Yeah, it did.
Oh, did it?
581
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,335
You did actually say,
"I've never seen a kingfisher.
582
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,695
"I imagine this is what it's like."
Swack. Yeah!
583
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,055
How many of her big wet kingfishers
went in?
584
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,575
She had a total of
80 individual sheets,
585
00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:40,335
whereas Mun ya, just 61.
586
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:41,335
Good.
587
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,895
Break.
588
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,935
Hello, welcome back to
the very third part
589
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,775
of the very first episode
of the very 14th series.
590
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,815
Oh, what a wacky intro.
591
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:13,215
Before the break, the new lot had
got through security at Gatwick
592
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:15,255
south so that they could throw
loo rolls from a height
593
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,735
into a toilet. We've seen everyone
apart from John Kearns,
594
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,055
so here is john Kearns.
595
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,495
With ever anything like this,
I don't need power.
596
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,775
Gravity will provide the power.
597
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,335
So, weirdly, I'm going to
throw it up before I throw it down.
598
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:36,175
Right, I might...
I might try throwing it down now.
599
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,055
Right, I'm just...
I'm just going to have another go.
600
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:44,135
Right.
601
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,695
That was really quite a long way
away from the toilet.
602
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:49,215
Ooh, I've got an idea!
603
00:27:49,240 --> 00:27:51,455
Make a little paper aeroplane.
604
00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,295
Well, look how beautiful it is,
first and foremost.
605
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,615
The chassis, the wings.
606
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,095
It's a fantastic
piece of engineering.
607
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:04,695
Fly, my pretty, fly.
608
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,735
Oh!
609
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,295
Oh, God. Right hang on.
610
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,095
What's happening now?
I'm going to make a bigger one.
611
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:29,415
A bigger one?
Yeah.
612
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:47,815
Right, I need to rethink this now.
613
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:53,655
Be great to get some loo roll
in the loo.
614
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:55,095
Yeah, I know that. That's the task.
615
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,375
That's why I'm here.
616
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:57,615
Too high up.
617
00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:58,775
20 seconds, john.
618
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,175
Well, I'll release that.
619
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:06,895
WHISTLE BLOWS
620
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,375
WelL..that didn't go to plan.
621
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,935
APPLAUSE
622
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:22,015
I had such high hopes because of
the archway you delivered
623
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,615
the sentence,
"Gravity will provide the power."
624
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:27,975
I thought, "This man knows
what he's talking about!
625
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:29,255
Yeah, I do.
No, you don't.
626
00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,815
I tell you, it's a shame we don't
give art house points, though.
627
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,375
Oh, man, that is...
I mean, he may not win this game,
628
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:41,575
but he'll win a Cesar, the French
Oscars, for Best Short Film.
629
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,895
That's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
630
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,055
From the maker of Peas...
631
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,055
APPLAUSE
632
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,335
It's frustrating to watch, though,
for john,
633
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:53,935
because he is an amazing shot.
634
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,975
Afterwards, we sometimes
stick around, have a bit of fun.
635
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,295
John grabbed a loo roll,
chucked it straight in.
636
00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:00,375
Have you got it?
637
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,415
No, I didn't film it.
638
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,455
Yeah, we did, we did, we did.
Watch this.
639
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,135
That's got to just be gut-wrenching,
isn't it?
640
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,615
Yes.
641
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:27,335
Hey, let's have some points.
642
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,255
Right, well, John didn't get any in.
643
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,575
Does he still get a point, Greg,
for coming last?
644
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:33,455
Yeah, for God's sake.
645
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,815
For the sheer beauty he's got
to get a point, doesn't he?
646
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,215
A single point to john.
Then we have Mun ya with two points,
647
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,695
Sarah came third, three points,
648
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,655
Fern, four points for second place,
649
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:46,455
but the winner with five points is
Dara O Briain, 183 sheets.
650
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:48,255
APPLAUSE
651
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,135
The master physicist strikes.
652
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,015
Time for one more?
You Bet With Matthew Kelly,
653
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:55,895
and it's the first team task now.
654
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:57,455
Oh, my God.
Yes.
655
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,255
Hello.
Hello, Fern.
656
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,055
Please wait, please wait.
657
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,495
Hi, Alex.
Hi, Sarah.
658
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:18,895
I don't know what you've got.
A length of drainpipe?
659
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:20,295
Yeah.
660
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,655
I don't like your little
geeky socks.
661
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,015
You don't?
No.
662
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,575
I don't like this. It looks like
I might have to do a forward roll
663
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,215
or something.
Can you do a forward roll?
664
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,895
For you, I'd give it a go.
Great.
665
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,535
Er, should I read the task?
666
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:35,535
Hi. Oh, hello!
667
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,455
Hiya.
Hey, Fern. How are you?
668
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:38,535
All right.
669
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,055
You are now a team.
670
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,975
Oh, damn! OK.
671
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,575
Dara, this is Fern.
Fern, this is Dara.
672
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,455
Hey, nice to meet you.
Hi, lovely to meet you.
673
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,935
You are a team.
Oh! Oh, cool. Cool.
674
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,975
Yeah? You can stand next
to each other if you want.
675
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:51,575
Oh, sorry.
I thought there was a thing.
676
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,615
No, you just.
Wherever you want, really.
677
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,015
Well, I want to do...
There's john!
678
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,415
Aha!
679
00:31:57,440 --> 00:31:59,055
You all right?
680
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,695
Should I...?
You go ahead. Please.
681
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:02,975
Good luck, team.
682
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,135
"Create the best picture of a bird
on the black square."
683
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,735
"You may not step on or do anything
to the black square."
684
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,895
"Alex will walk towards you every
time you name a different bird."
685
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:19,935
"Alex will stop moving every time
you name a different fish."
686
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,575
Oh, my God! I hate that, I hate
that. This is sick. OK, all right.
687
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:26,455
"You have a maximum of 15 minutes.
688
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,495
"Your time starts when Alex
withdraws his nail."
689
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,855
So is there paint...?
Oh, oh, wait, wait, wait.
690
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:34,175
So, Sarah, paint is going to start
spraying out as soon
691
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,375
as he pulls out that nail.
692
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,815
So if I said a bird's name,
you would walk towards me?
693
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,095
I will follow the last person
who said a species of bird.
694
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,415
But if you name a fish...
He stops.
695
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:44,615
He stops when we name a fish.
696
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,175
How good are you on fish and birds?
697
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,935
That was my uni degree,
so we're all good.
698
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:53,735
Was it your uni degree?
699
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,735
Yeah, I mean, some people call it
psychology, but I...
700
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,375
LAUGHTER
701
00:32:58,400 --> 00:32:59,655
Very nice.
702
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:02,375
Degree or not, my gut instinct is
it's going to go very badly
703
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,895
for both teams.
Oh! OK.
704
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:07,975
I could be wrong, and my only other
observation is that, during that,
705
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,255
Fern was either freezing
or needed a wee.
706
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:12,975
No, it was both.
707
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,375
It was really hard to go to
the toilet in that costume.
708
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,135
Yeah. So I think I went once
in the whole series.
709
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,575
Excellent. OK, well, luckily
nobody's going to have to imagine
710
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,615
a world without montages,
because we've got one right here.
711
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,335
OK, I'm now going to
withdraw my nail.
712
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:30,695
Good luck, everyone.
713
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,855
Ooh!
Oh, no.
714
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,575
OK, we're losing paint quickly here.
Yeah, OK.
715
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:39,895
OK. Alex, pigeon.
716
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,455
Carp.
717
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,775
Stop.
718
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,095
Magpie.
719
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:52,495
OK.
720
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,895
Goldfish.
721
00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:55,495
Er, seagull.
722
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,055
Alex, seagull.
723
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,855
Seabream.
724
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,175
Oh, you just keep
coming towards me?
725
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:05,295
Until you say a fish.
726
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:06,335
Carp.
727
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:09,335
Right, 0|<.
728
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:10,735
SARAH: Eagle.
729
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,695
Er, goldfish.
730
00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:18,615
Erm... Oh, Jesus, a type of bird.
731
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,415
Erm... Tit. ..owL
732
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:22,815
I can't think of a fish.
Tell me a fish!
733
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,255
Oh, blow fish!
Pike.
734
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,735
Where...? Where's the head?
Is that the head up there?
735
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:28,735
That's the head up there.
736
00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:29,935
Hawk.
737
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,175
Angelfish.
738
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,535
You DID do your degree in this!
Telling you.
739
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,895
This is a bird that's been, er,
run over.
740
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,095
Eye.
What?!
741
00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:38,535
Beak. That's its beak.
742
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,335
Shouldn't we put a foot over here?
743
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,135
Why would you want a foot
sticking out of its arse?
744
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,135
Could it be a bird
at any other angle?
745
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:48,335
We could start again. I am totally
not seeing how you don't see this.
746
00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,175
It looks like a mangled rabbit
or something.
747
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,455
I can't think of any birds or fish.
748
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,815
Er, falcon.
Falcon.
749
00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,375
No, "0, n0, no!
No! Oh, no!
750
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,415
Quick, say something!
751
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,015
Different bird.
752
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,735
Erm, nuthatch, nuthatch, nuthatch!
753
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,135
That's the head, yeah?
754
00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:07,935
Yes.
So what's this? The body?
755
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,255
The body. It's a turkey.
Oh, yeah!
756
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:11,975
No!
757
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,415
I think our problem is that
we can't remember at critical times
758
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,735
the names of birds or fish.
759
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:22,055
So get maybe three birds
and three fish.
760
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,255
Oh, Jesus Christ, three of them.
761
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:26,975
Is an eel a fish or a snake?
762
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,055
LAUGHTER
763
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,375
We need an eye, but how do we do
an eye? I know, I know, I know.
764
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,375
If one of us is above Alex,
765
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:38,175
then he has to lift the paint up,
which means it stops pouring.
766
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:41,095
Do you see what I'm saying?
How are you going to get above him?
767
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,655
Mexican parrot.
768
00:35:43,920 --> 00:35:45,335
Hey, look I'm up, I'm up.
769
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:46,895
Oh, yes, you are.
770
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,575
We've very much lost the bird.
771
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,415
It doesn't look like anything!
772
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,255
There's so much wrong with this.
773
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,055
Erm, where's the head now?
774
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:55,735
You've got the beak,
you've got the foot,
775
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,415
you've got the tail,
you've got the wing.
776
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:58,655
Now we've got a bird.
777
00:35:58,680 --> 00:35:59,815
Two and a half minutes.
778
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,015
Penguin. It's a penguin.
779
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,655
Quick, quick, quick.
780
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:04,095
Eughg
781
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,815
This could maybe be a bird?
782
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:09,895
That's not a bird.
783
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,415
You have to know when to step away.
Let's step away.
784
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,335
Fancy a cuppa, Sarah?
Let's have a cuppa. Good plan.
785
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:21,335
Look at that. Look at the beak.
Look at the beak there.
786
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,895
Right.
Like a goose... Are they going in?
787
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,455
They've gone in, yeah.
OK.
788
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,135
As I predicted.
789
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,415
The group of three to me seemed
to be the least organised,
790
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,895
although Dara took an early
leading role.
791
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:42,895
Yeah, much ignored.
792
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,415
You did for the first few minutes
run around and round the canvas,
793
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,775
and then say to Alex
really aggressively,
794
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,055
"What, you just going to keep
coming towards me?"
795
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,735
It put me in mind of a documentary
about how six-year-olds interact.
796
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,415
What about the group of two?
797
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,295
There was a better dynamic there,
I thought.
798
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,895
Yeah, we are pretty much
an interracialjLS,
799
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,815
so I felt like we...
LAUGHTER
800
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:08,135
Do you mind if I write that down?
801
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:10,215
Please do, yeah. No, please.
802
00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:13,455
I thought we had
an exceptional use of physics.
803
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:15,415
You know, a wise man once said,
804
00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:17,295
"Gravity will do the rest,"
805
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,415
so I feel like we did pretty good.
806
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,055
You remember it differently to me.
807
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:26,135
You're going to have to wait
until after the ads
808
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,855
to see the birds they've created.
809
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,775
It's our way of teasing you back
810
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,615
in case Sarah Millican's
bangle holder wasn't doing the job.
811
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:35,735
See you soon.
812
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,975
Hello! Welcome back to
the final part of the show
813
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,655
and the conclusion of our first
team task of the series.
814
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,095
Yes, they were directing me
to draw a picture of a bird.
815
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,055
I was steadily leaking paint
out of a hole,
816
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,655
and they were shouting fishes
and birds at me at the same time.
817
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:04,055
You get the idea.
Best picture of a bird wins.
818
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:07,615
So this is what
Mun ya and Sarah created.
819
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:13,255
It does look like a bird.
See? See?
820
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,175
You see, it starts as shock,
and then it gets impressed.
821
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:17,975
It looks like it's
leaning into wind.
822
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,895
It's a bird with human feet
leaning into the wind.
823
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,375
Well, you know, that's evolution.
824
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,055
I thought it was
one of her kingfishers.
825
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:27,695
I've kind of brought it to life.
826
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,575
A fabulous kingfisher.
827
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:35,415
That's a Zimbabwean nuthatch.
828
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,295
I thought it might be, yeah.
829
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,655
Very rare, very rare,
extremely rare.
830
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,735
OK, well, would you like to see what
the team of three ended up with?
831
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,255
Let's see this beautiful bird.
832
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:45,455
There we go.
833
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,615
There's the bird.
834
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:51,015
Yeah, er, you can see the beak here
at the left-hand side.
835
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,375
The wings are up like this
around it,
836
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:54,975
and that's the body of it
at the back there.
837
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,295
Exactly the same tone of voice
Dara used when he was running around
838
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:00,855
going, "Oh, yeah, right,
you're following me now, are you?"
839
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,055
John? Fern?
840
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,415
No, I mean, unless the bird's
been exploded everywhere,
841
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,135
it doesn't look like anything.
842
00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:13,055
Look, there were differences
of vision within the team.
843
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:14,295
They went for a bird and...
844
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,975
Oh, this is...
Do you not see the cluck's head?
845
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,415
I can see a bird, but to the
right-hand side is a head. No!
846
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:23,935
It is. It's a chicken, look.
847
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,295
There you go.
848
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,695
Standard chicken.
We can see the chicken in action.
849
00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:33,935
There we go.
850
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,815
Ancl you criticised our feet!
How dare you?
851
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,455
It's pointing the other way.
852
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,575
Thanks for confirming
there's no bird in there, Dara.
853
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:47,975
Well, you've got to judge them.
854
00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,335
Which is the better bird in...?
855
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:50,775
Oh, don't be so ridiculous.
Right.
856
00:39:50,800 --> 00:39:52,175
We know what the better bird is.
857
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:53,895
It's just how we divide the points.
858
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:57,055
But, you know, let's not pretend
that that bird's good.
859
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,935
I feel sorry for them, so I'm
going to give them two points
860
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,655
for their mass of lines.
The team of three? That's correct,
861
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:10,775
but I'll be giving five points,
the top marks, to the team of two.
862
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,735
There we go.
Five points to Mun ya and Sarah.
863
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:14,695
APPLAUSE
864
00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:17,055
Quick look at the scores.
865
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,415
Right, well, he's still in
last place with six,
866
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,215
and the leader now has ten points
more than that.
867
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:22,535
It's Sarah with 16.
868
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,535
APPLAUSE
869
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,615
OK, everyone, please make your way
to the stage
870
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,215
for the final task of the show.
871
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:33,775
APPLAUSE
872
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:44,415
That look on Dara's face -
I call it deep regret.
873
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:48,775
Munya's got his on
at a jaunty angle, look.
874
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,095
Of course he has, yeah, that's
how they wear them in Zimbabwe.
875
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,455
Who's going to read the task out?
876
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,015
Fern Brady is going to.
877
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:57,295
Good luck, Fern.
878
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:01,695
"Get the most weight on the see-saw
without popping the balloon.
879
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:04,335
"Taking it in turns, you must place
a single item of your
880
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,735
"additional clothing in
the triangular basket.
881
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:12,135
"The most weight in the triangular
basket when the balloon pops wins.
882
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,295
"But if you pop the balloon,
you get zero points."
883
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,975
So one at a time, they're going to
884
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,375
pop one of the additional clothing
items in the triangular basket.
885
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,215
They're trying to put the most
weight in there
886
00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:23,615
before the balloon pops,
887
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,975
so we know how much each
of your items weighs.
888
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:27,495
What you don't want to do
is pop the balloon.
889
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:29,135
Oh, yeah, cos you get nothing then.
890
00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,455
So were going to start with
the person in last place, Greg,
891
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,775
and that's obviously john.
892
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,655
Going to go with the top hat.
Oh, he's going big.
893
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,335
You can turn this around.
894
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,935
No, no, he's ten points
behind Sarah. No, I know.
895
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:42,015
LAUGHTER
896
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,815
Right, here we go.
897
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:46,415
Oh, perfect.
Right.
898
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,735
Wow, that delivery was
almost arrogant.
899
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,455
Next, it's Dara O Briain.
900
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:51,895
Good luck, Dara.
901
00:41:51,920 --> 00:41:54,135
Oh, he wouldn't go with a boot?
902
00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,255
Gently.
903
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:00,655
Oh, big but gentle.
904
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:07,375
Oh, you lovely bear. Well played.
905
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:09,735
In third place it's Mun ya Chawawa.
906
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:12,735
Another boot, Greg.
See what I'm going to do?
907
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,295
LeBron James.
908
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,215
LAUGHTER
909
00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:18,615
LeBron James.
910
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,175
Double boot?
911
00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:21,415
There we go.
912
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:24,255
No movement yet.
It's Fern Brady to go next.
913
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,655
Another boot.
Yeah, come on, Fern, that's it.
914
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,295
Oh, Fern!
915
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,015
Oh, easy, easy.
916
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,535
Sarah Millican the current leader.
Is she going boot?
917
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,055
Oh, God, she'd be mad to.
918
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:38,975
Yeah, better.
919
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,455
Very clever.
920
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,815
Lovely.
One item. It's back to you, john.
921
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,735
Well, another boot, I think.
Another boot? Yeah.
922
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:46,655
I'm absolutely
pissed on the adrenaline.
923
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,535
SHARP INTAKES OF BREATH
924
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:53,815
Oh, didn't move.
925
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,615
Slight movement there. Back to Dara.
926
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:56,815
He's going flipper.
927
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,055
I think he's using physics.
928
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:08,895
Mun ya. You're up, Mun ya.
929
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,495
Cool. I'm going to go glove cos
it's really irritating my eczema.
930
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,495
Lovely delivery.
931
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:17,055
LeBron James.
932
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:19,775
Fern, you're up.
933
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,855
That's it.
Going flipper.
934
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:24,815
In it goes. Lovely.
935
00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:26,535
Sarah, you're up.
936
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:28,055
She's not!
937
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:29,695
Oh, hello.
Oh, she wouldn't!
938
00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:32,015
Oh, hello.
She wouldn't?
939
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,255
Oh, it's madness.
940
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:38,695
AUDIENCE OOHS
941
00:43:38,720 --> 00:43:40,335
Wow.
Nothing's happened yet.
942
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:41,695
Right, it's...
943
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:44,975
It's john again.
944
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,415
I think it needs a bit of...
945
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:48,975
No, you DON'T want to
pop the balloon, john.
946
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,655
Yeah, but I don't think
I'll do it enough.
947
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:54,935
You do you, john.
948
00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,615
You play your game.
949
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:01,295
VARIOUS CRIES OF INTRIGUE
950
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,255
Right.
Now were getting somewhere.!
951
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:10,895
Dara O Briain next.
952
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:12,655
Good morning, Mr Scrooge.
953
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,015
Oh, he's got... I see what
he's doing. Oh, lovely.
954
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,335
Are we happy that's
IN the triangular basket?
955
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:20,695
Yeah.
956
00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:23,615
All right. It has gone in...
957
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:25,615
LAUGHTER
958
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,855
Physics yet again.
959
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,415
OK, Mun ya.
960
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,735
OK you know the thing they're
going to say about Mun ya?
961
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:34,935
He lives on the edge.
962
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:38,015
I don't think that's what
they're going to say.
963
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:42,175
Oh, lovely.
964
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,015
Oh, Mun ya!
965
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,375
Can we have balance?
Can you just hold my hand?
966
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,455
No.
No, please?
967
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:50,855
No, quite right john. Fuck him.
968
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,295
Look, hold my hand please.
Why?
969
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:54,895
Because I need the balance cos
the more weight my nails put on it,
970
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,255
the more it goes. I'm in last place.
It doesn't matter, bro.
971
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:58,695
You've got nothing to lose.
972
00:44:58,720 --> 00:45:00,175
OK, bro, count me down from three.
973
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:01,295
Count me down from three!
974
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,735
Three, two, one.
975
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,295
VARIOUS CRIES OF INTRIGUE
976
00:45:07,320 --> 00:45:08,815
Oh!
977
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:11,735
APPLAUSE
978
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,495
Come and join me down here.
979
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,095
Wow.
We ll, well, well.
980
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:24,495
I bet that's put the cat amongst
the pigeons, hasn't it?
981
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,215
So obviously Mun ya, who was
too near the edge in the end,
982
00:45:27,240 --> 00:45:28,575
gets zero points.
983
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:31,615
Sarah put 1,071 grams in,
984
00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:34,295
Fern 1,310 grams,
985
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:38,215
Dara and John both exactly
the same - 1,461.
986
00:45:38,240 --> 00:45:41,455
Which means that Sarah gets the
two points, three points to Fern,
987
00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,335
but in joint first place,
five points to Dara and john.
988
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:46,055
APPLAUSE
989
00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:51,055
Shall I tell you what the
final scores are? Yes, please.
990
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,495
Well, there's only one point
separating three people,
991
00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:57,015
but the winner with 18 points
is Sarah Millican. Wow!
992
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,975
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
993
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:01,695
Sarah wins!
994
00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:06,055
Please head up to the stage
to enjoy your jaw-dropping prizes.
995
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,815
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
996
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,455
A new series has begun.
997
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:12,015
See you next time, but for now,
998
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:16,495
well done again to our first winner,
Sarah Millican.
999
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:18,255
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
1000
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,455
Subtitles by Red Bee Media