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- سی ثانیه مونده.
- یالا!
2
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پروانه!
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نگاه، این اون پروانهایه که روی
کمر ماریا کری تاتو شده.
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آره!
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کارت خوب بود، جان!
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و چون درست حدس زدی
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نگاه کن چی میشه.
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اینو باید زودتر میفهمیدم.
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تز دانشگاه من
در مورد اون تاتو بود.
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آره برای این که امشب همه چیز
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یه ربطی به زندگیت روی زمین داره.
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برای این که یه کم بهتر با هم آشنا بشید.
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خیله خب، تیم آبی، نوبت شماست.
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موفق باشی چیپی.
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چیدی، نوبت توست.
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خب من هنرمند بدی نیستم
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ولی زیر فشار کارم خیلی خوب نیست.
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وقتت از الان شروع میشه.
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ای وای. باشه.
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- فهمیدی چیدی؟
- عذر میخوام.
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من فقط دارم سعی میکنم
بفهمم چه طور باید شروع کنم.
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یالا دیگه. شروع کن به کشیدن داداش.
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وای نه.
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نه، نه، نه، نه. نه، نه، نه.
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نه.
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- سی ثانیه.
- آها. باشه. شروع کنیم.
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نگاه، زیردریاییه.
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بیشتر شبیه کلم بروکلیه با دندون.
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نه اسبه
با یه پاپیون دور گردنش
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اسبچه دوره بچگیمه. دیزی.
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آره!
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وای نه.
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نه!
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چه غلطی کردم.
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تو یه فرانکشتاین درست کردی، مرد!
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باشه،باشه، باشه. اصلاً میدونی چیه.
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پیکشنری جادویی دیگه بسه.
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بریم خونه یه کم بخوابیم.
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میخواین بکشمش؟
من کلی اسب مسابقه کشتهام.
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باشه.
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_
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چه فاجعهای بود.
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چه طور این قدر گند زده شد.
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خب یه دلیلش این بود که
برنت شدیداً مست کرد.
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باید کارش رو قطع میکردیم.
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توی جای خوب کار هیچ کسی قطع نمیشه.
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اگه آبجو بخواد، بهش یه آبجو میدیم.
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حداقل خوشحالم که دیگه ازم نخواست
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بریم با هم شام بخوریم و
در مورد شغل من با هم صحبت کنیم.
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ببین شاید حدود سه هفته باشه که
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نتونستیم هیچ فعالیت موفقیت آمیزی داشته باشیم.
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بچهها این قدر به خودتون سخت نگیرین.
اونا دارن بهتر میشن.
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مثلاً برنت دیگه هی نمیگه
«بابا دوست داره...»
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این خودش بالاخره یه چیزیه.
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یه جای کار ایراد داره.
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خیله خب، یه سری ایده جدید نیاز داریم.
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من میگم امشب اینجا دور هم جمع بمونیم و
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- ایدههامون رو روی هم بریزیم.
- یه لحظه صبر کن.
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ما خیلی داریم کار میکنیم
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باید گاهی استراحت هم بکنیم.
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وگرنه یهو میبریم دیگه.
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میتونیم با همدیگه
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فکرمون رو استراحت بدیم.
یه فیلمی چیزی ببینیم، یا...آها!
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مهمونی بالشت و پتو بگیریم.
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_
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جانم؟
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هرکی هستی خودتو نشون بده.
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آخ، صبر کن یه لحظه.
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کلاه توی عینکم گیر کرده.
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سلام.
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من گلن هستم، از جای بد.
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اینجا چی کار میکنی؟
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Yeah, what do you want, creep?
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No one knows I'm here,
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and I have some important information.
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Eleanor, I need to speak with you alone.
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Whatever you need to say to me,
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you can say right here.
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I don't think I should.
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It would lead to a very
uncomfortable social situation.
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Say it.
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That's not Michael.
86
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That's Vicky the Demon
in a Michael suit.
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And she's sabotaging your experiment.
88
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You see? It's uncomfortable.
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All right, just sit there quietly
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until we sort all this out.
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If it's not too much trouble,
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could I get a hot glass of pig urine?
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We need to talk.
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Or... I'm not picky.
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Whatever urine you have is fine.
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Eleanor, you have to believe me.
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I'm Michael. He's lying.
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Calm down, dude.
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I trust you.
100
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But I'm gonna make Glenn
think I don't trust you.
101
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Somehow this has to be related
102
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to the problems we've been having here.
103
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And we need to figure out
what game they're playing.
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Ooh, that's good.
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I like the way you think, Shellstrop.
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I mean,
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I hate the way you think, Shellstrop!
108
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Is he buying it?
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He's not looking.
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I'll tell you whatever you want to know,
111
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but shouldn't we call The Judge?
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We're not calling anyone
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until we figure some things out.
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- We have questions.
- Yeah, for example,
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if you're a devil, how come
you're not wearing Prada?
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Caramel!
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Why would you help us?
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One day, you're flattening penises,
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and the next, you just decide to defect?
120
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Actually, one of my jobs was
to reinflate the penises
121
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so they could get flattened again.
122
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It doesn't matter.
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Listen, I loved torturing humans
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because I thought they deserved it.
125
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They said everyone in the Bad Place
126
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was evil and beyond repair.
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I don't know if I believe that anymore.
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Also, Shawn is so mean, you guys.
129
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He yells at me all the time.
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It's, like, unnecessary.
131
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I feel you, dog. I was
yelled at my whole life.
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People were always like,
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"You didn't pay for that!"
"How do you plead?"
134
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"He's flatlining!" "Clear!"
135
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Okay, well, if that's Vicky,
136
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what's the Bad Place's plan?
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To sow chaos... turn you
guys against each other,
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ruin the experiment.
139
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,790
Also, I have proof that's not Michael.
140
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Here are pictures of Vicky
wearing the Michael suit.
141
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This doesn't prove anything.
142
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These could just be pictures
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- of the real Michael.
- They're real.
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I know because I helped make the suit.
145
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I couldn't figure out how to make it
146
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contain your demon essence,
147
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so you'll have to wear
it over the Vicky suit.
148
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Ugh, really? You're the worst, Glenn.
149
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Let's do it. Zip her up.
150
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Okay, but if I melt,
151
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I am gonna be, like, so annoyed.
152
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:25,409
Huh. Pretty well-made.
153
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I can really feel all the
musty skin folds, and...
154
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and the dangly bits.
155
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The voice is perfect.
156
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You sound so much like
him, I want to punch you.
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Are we sure it's okay that we made this?
158
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I mean, what are you gonna use it for?
159
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,715
What are you gonna
use it... shut up, Glenn.
160
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The experiment is about to begin.
161
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Let's call the real Michael
and send him spiraling
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down the toilet bowl like
the pinched turd he is.
163
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,765
Well, now, we know you're lying
164
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because Michael would've
definitely told us
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if the Bad Place had
called him and showed him
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some freakin' Michael suit.
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Absolutely. Of course I would've.
168
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I mean, Janet would have phone records.
169
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,818
You could just ask her to pull them up.
170
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,159
باشه، باشه. دروغ گفتم.
171
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- اونا باهام تماس گرفتن.
- چی؟
172
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دروغ گفتم. عذر میخوام.
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تو ماجرا رو میدونستی؟
174
00:06:07,820 --> 00:06:10,399
آره، آره، ولی یه توضیح خوب دارم برای قضیه.
175
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آره توضیحم اینه که اون ویکیه
176
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و در مورد همه چیز داره بهت دروغ میگه.
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قاضی رو صدا کن تا این قضیه
رو درست و حسابی حل و فصل کنیم.
178
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,920
یا نکنه میخواستی ما همین کارو بکنیم؟
179
00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,756
میخوام دقیقاً همین کار رو بکنی.
180
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دقیقاً!
181
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,924
النور، شاید بهتر باشه قاضی رو صدا کنیم.
182
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گلن داشت حقیقت رو میگفت.
183
00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,139
نه، قاضی گفت اگه مشکلی پیش بیاد
184
00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:30,680
کل آزمایش رو ریست میکنه.
185
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:33,219
تا وقتی هیچ گزینهای باقی نمونده
نباید صداش کنیم
186
00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:37,049
من شما دو تا احمق رو توی اتاقهای
جداگانه میندازم
187
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تا وقتی ته و توی قضیه رو در بیارم.
188
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اه!
189
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,277
من خیلی از این ماجرا ناراحت شدم.
190
00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:46,109
جدی میگم مرد. واقعاً این اتفاق داره میفته.
191
00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:48,219
192
00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:51,520
واقعاً بابت این ماجرا متأسفم.
193
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,580
خیله خب، کله کیریا. حالا چی کار کنیم؟
194
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,955
من میگم به مایکل اعتماد کنیم. اون دوست ماست.
195
00:06:56,956 --> 00:06:58,099
صبر کن. شاید دوستمون باشه.
196
00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,629
شاید هم یه حقه باز دروغگو باشه.
197
00:06:59,630 --> 00:07:01,279
who just looks like our friend...
198
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:03,379
the classic Mary-Kate Olsen.
199
00:07:03,380 --> 00:07:04,399
I have to say,
200
00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,139
we've had a lot of misfires recently,
201
00:07:06,140 --> 00:07:07,839
and Michael has been
acting suspiciously.
202
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:10,179
Like tonight, when I wanted to work,
203
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:12,348
and he just wanted to have
a slumber party instead?
204
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,433
To be fair to Mike,
slumber parties rule.
205
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,349
And why would we trust Glenn?
206
00:07:16,350 --> 00:07:18,139
- He's a demon.
- So is Michael.
207
00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,850
- Demons can be good.
- Right.
208
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,319
Okay. So it's decided.
209
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:22,400
We trust both of them.
210
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,789
Okay.
211
00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:26,320
Predictably, this was unhelpful.
212
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,783
Get in there.
213
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,570
What is all this stuff?
214
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,162
Are these weapons?
215
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,454
Ooh, don't touch those.
216
00:07:37,455 --> 00:07:39,139
Those are my special magnet handcuffs.
217
00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:41,439
They make me feel silly when Mindy and I
218
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,409
are playing Upstairs-downstairs Derek.
219
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:45,159
Oh, they're sex toys.
220
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,539
Ugh, they're sex toys.
221
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:48,676
Dude, get out of here.
We have enough problems.
222
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,819
My good man, allow me
to bury the hatchet.
223
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,719
Being rebooted again has evolved me
224
00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,599
past any feelings of jealousy.
225
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,049
Oh, I know that sound.
226
00:08:01,050 --> 00:08:02,898
Looks like someone found my sex diaper.
227
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,776
I'll leave you guys alone
to live that dipe life.
228
00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:08,149
- Ugh.
- Eugh!
229
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:10,359
Okay, explain yourself...
230
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,869
if yourself even is yourself.
231
00:08:12,870 --> 00:08:14,599
I am Michael.
232
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,769
Shawn did call me, and
I saw the Michael suit.
233
00:08:17,770 --> 00:08:19,749
He said if the experiment failed,
234
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:23,739
he was gonna use it to make you
think I was torturing you.
235
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:25,171
Why didn't you tell us?
236
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,639
Because he said he would
just erase your memories
237
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,099
of me telling you, so it
wouldn't matter anyway.
238
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:33,013
He thought that I would
crumble under the pressure.
239
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:36,599
But a month ago, you told
me you only pretended
240
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,729
to freak out in order to get me
to step up and become a leader.
241
00:08:39,730 --> 00:08:41,395
Yes, that also was a lie,
242
00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:43,569
but it was an inspirational one.
243
00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:46,219
Like, "So great running into you.
244
00:08:46,220 --> 00:08:47,799
We should get coffee some time,"
245
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,839
or all of Instagram.
246
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,309
So to recap, you found out the Bad Place
247
00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:55,059
made a Michael suit, freaked out,
248
00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:57,379
didn't tell us why, and then later,
249
00:08:57,380 --> 00:09:00,519
you lied to me about
why you freaked out?
250
00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,219
And then you lied again
just a few minutes ago
251
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,295
when you said that you never
got a call from Shawn.
252
00:09:05,296 --> 00:09:09,059
Yes, but that lie was only to
cover my two earlier lies.
253
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:11,301
I mean, that's gotta be okay, right?
254
00:09:11,302 --> 00:09:12,309
What?
255
00:09:12,310 --> 00:09:13,845
Eleanor, don't you see
what they're doing?
256
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:16,919
Shawn sent Glenn to undermine
our trust in each other
257
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,934
so you'll call The Judge and
restart the experiment.
258
00:09:19,935 --> 00:09:22,799
Well, I have no reason
not to believe you,
259
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,769
other than the three
very recent examples
260
00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:25,898
we just laid out.
261
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,234
Huddle. Now.
262
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,949
Oh, hey, sorry.
263
00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:35,534
I just needed to grab this.
You know, it's chime time.
264
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:38,349
باید به راهی باشه که بفمیم
265
00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:39,870
اون مایکل واقعیه یا نه.
266
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,079
راهی نیست یه جور دروغسنج شیطانی
267
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,789
درست کنی؟
268
00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:45,079
نمیدونم.
269
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,059
The Janet babies are still draining me,
270
00:09:47,060 --> 00:09:49,969
and I just had to put down
Daisy the horse blob,
271
00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:53,079
which was exhausting...
emotionally and physically.
272
00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:56,090
She fought back.
I won't get into details.
273
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,596
I had to twist her head off. Sorry.
274
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,339
No more details.
275
00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:01,350
She did thrash. She thrashed.
276
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:02,509
- Sorry.
- Okay,
277
00:10:02,510 --> 00:10:04,919
why don't we just get him
drunk so he starts blabbing?
278
00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,524
I mean, what goes best with pig urine?
279
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,719
- Coconut rum.
- That won't work on a demon.
280
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:12,278
I'll try and make a lie detector.
281
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,719
Oh, no. Damn it.
282
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,198
What's going on in there?
283
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,199
I touched the dang diaper.
284
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,279
Get back in that room.
285
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,745
So Michael saw the suit. Big deal.
286
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,581
I still think you're forking with us.
287
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:26,799
I think this is just like when
the Bad Place sent us Linda,
288
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,409
who turned out to be some
super-jacked punching guy,
289
00:10:29,410 --> 00:10:31,630
and just like him, you got busted.
290
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,479
That's the thing. The
puncher didn't get busted.
291
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,669
It worked exactly as planned.
292
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:38,679
The whole thing was a diversion
293
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,222
to get real Michael out,
294
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,391
and sneak the imposter in on a train.
295
00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,018
It must've happened during the handoff.
296
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,989
While Janet was handcuffing Chris,
297
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:48,459
a bunch of demons must've
grabbed Michael,
298
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,357
yanked him away, and then Vicky,
299
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,629
in the Michael suit, walked back out.
300
00:10:52,630 --> 00:10:54,199
You never would've known the difference.
301
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,859
Also, when Chris got back,
302
00:10:55,860 --> 00:10:57,789
I saw Shawn and him celebrating.
303
00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:58,799
Why would they be happy
304
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,599
if he wasn't supposed to get caught?
305
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,786
Man, I love a good sabotage.
306
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:05,539
Or is that exactly what
you want us to think?
307
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,659
Motherforker.
308
00:11:06,660 --> 00:11:08,979
I knew there was something
weird about that puncher.
309
00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:11,879
I said that to Michael...
310
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,380
and he dismissed it.
311
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,840
Yeah. See what I mean?
312
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,129
Don't go anywhere. Come on.
313
00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:21,899
If Michael is just Vicky
in a Michael suit,
314
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:23,260
let's just take the suit off.
315
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,989
Yeah. Maybe we could
sneak up behind him,
316
00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:26,559
and try and pants him from forehead.
317
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,569
That won't work.
318
00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:29,379
A demon can take his own skin suit off,
319
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:30,519
but no one else can.
320
00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:32,809
It's like a very complicated bra.
321
00:11:32,810 --> 00:11:35,399
Well, so be it.
322
00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:38,990
Take off your skin suit.
323
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,076
- I can't.
- Sure, you can.
324
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:44,959
You're either a demon
wearing a Michael suit,
325
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,419
or you're a demon wearing a Vicky suit
326
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:50,459
who's wearing a Michael suit over that.
327
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:52,044
Just take off your Michael suit,
328
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,380
and show us what you're working with.
329
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,799
I'm sorry. I won't.
330
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,759
- That's very suspicious.
- I know, but I'm not Vicky.
331
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,179
I just don't want to show
you what's underneath here.
332
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,479
I've seen a lot of weird
hogs in my life, dude.
333
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:07,102
- Get over yourself.
- That's not it.
334
00:12:08,270 --> 00:12:10,605
I'm a fire squid.
335
00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,020
Dope.
336
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,579
No.
337
00:12:14,580 --> 00:12:16,499
Not dope.
338
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:20,109
I'm a 6,000-foot tall fire squid.
339
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,519
I have tentacles.
340
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,489
There's teeth everywhere.
341
00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:27,519
I'm on fire, and my neck is long.
342
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,119
And there's a smell,
343
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,759
and lots of juice.
344
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,877
There's so much juice, El.
345
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:37,519
I think I speak for
everyone here when I say
346
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,279
I really have to see this.
347
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,199
So you're not gonna take
off your demon Spanx
348
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,579
because you're shy?
349
00:12:44,580 --> 00:12:46,509
Well, that's convenient.
350
00:12:46,510 --> 00:12:48,799
Eleanor, if I take off this suit,
351
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:50,239
I will crash through the roof
352
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,519
and the entire Neighborhood will see me
353
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,732
and the experiment will be blown.
354
00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,419
But it's more than that.
355
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:59,149
You guys will never look
at me the same way again.
356
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:01,959
I won't just be Michael.
357
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:03,879
I'll be...
358
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:08,829
some disgusting mass
of burning tentacles.
359
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:12,099
Do you really want to be friends
with something like that?
360
00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:14,579
Yes. I keep saying.
361
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:17,588
Eleanor.
362
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:20,299
Now I don't know if this will
work, but theoretically,
363
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,009
if you point it at a
demon and he's lying,
364
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,249
it'll turn red.
365
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,109
If he's telling the
truth, it'll turn green.
366
00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:27,848
Okay. Glenn.
367
00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,641
This is a lie detector.
368
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,310
Let us show you how it works.
369
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,521
What's your name?
370
00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,499
Well, everyone calls me Glenn,
371
00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,199
but the name on my demon
certificate is actually
372
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,529
Snakes Pour Forth From His Anu...
373
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,979
Glenn blew up. Glenn blew up.
374
00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:51,623
Or is that exactly what
he wants us to think?
375
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,179
So does blowing up mean
376
00:13:57,180 --> 00:13:58,779
he was telling the truth or lying?
377
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:00,750
Neither. That was not
supposed to happen.
378
00:14:00,757 --> 00:14:02,319
I've never killed anybody before.
379
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,718
No, don't worry. Demons can't die.
380
00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:08,119
He'll slowly reform himself
over a few months,
381
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:11,308
passing through all the
stages of demon growth...
382
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:14,799
larva, slug monster, spooky little girl,
383
00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,940
teenage boy, giant ball of tongues,
384
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:21,693
social media CEO, and
then finally demon, so...
385
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,488
Look at the bright side.
This worked out perfectly.
386
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:27,379
I mean, not for Glenn, obviously,
387
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:29,139
but for us.
388
00:14:29,140 --> 00:14:30,659
Lying demon's gone.
389
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:32,247
We're still here. All good.
390
00:14:32,248 --> 00:14:33,379
No.
391
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:35,457
We're not all good, man.
392
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,751
You're either Michael and you lied,
393
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,461
or you're Vicky in a Michael suit.
394
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,463
Okay, I'm gonna go for a walk.
395
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,382
Nobody go anywhere.
396
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,399
- Chidi?
- Hey.
397
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,101
Hey, I didn't think
anyone would still be up.
398
00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,186
Are you okay?
399
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,719
Yeah, yeah, I'm just
400
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,899
practicing drawing viable horses...
401
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,629
ones that aren't crimes,
402
00:15:03,630 --> 00:15:05,439
you know, against nature.
403
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,615
Okay, I know this mood of yours
404
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:11,769
from reading your file and whatnot.
405
00:15:11,770 --> 00:15:15,582
Why don't you take a break,
and we'll get some food in you?
406
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,751
Well, I'm done.
407
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,588
I scooped it all up into one
steaming pile of Glenn.
408
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,199
Maybe I can put him back together.
409
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,799
I'm hella good at puzzles.
410
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,819
I finished this word search
in, like, 30 seconds.
411
00:15:28,820 --> 00:15:30,130
Jason, I feel terrible.
412
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,819
I know he was a demon and
he may have lied to us,
413
00:15:32,820 --> 00:15:35,225
but he didn't deserve that.
414
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,811
You were only trying to help us.
415
00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:39,659
Look, I know this is a weird time,
416
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:41,429
but if you ever want to talk,
417
00:15:41,430 --> 00:15:43,234
just know that I'm here for you, girl.
418
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:45,460
Thanks, Jason.
419
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:47,654
That means a lot.
420
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,909
Mmm. I gotta say.
421
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:57,579
Out of all the human stuff
I've been able to experience
422
00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:00,159
in this neighborhood,
nachos... number one.
423
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,169
- Easy.
- Really?
424
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,559
Yeah.
425
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,259
I mean, salty, crunchy,
426
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:08,509
cheesy, little bit of a kick?
427
00:16:08,510 --> 00:16:10,886
Name one better thing
humans have created.
428
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,012
The Sistine Chapel?
429
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,722
Pfft. Paint on a ceiling.
430
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,768
I mean, it's fine, but can
you eat it at the movies?
431
00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:18,119
Touché.
432
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,569
Listen, don't stay up all
night drawing horses.
433
00:16:20,570 --> 00:16:22,105
It's really fine.
434
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,549
I know. I just...
435
00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:27,945
feel like I made the world
a little bit worse,
436
00:16:27,946 --> 00:16:31,615
and I won't be okay until
I make it better again.
437
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,399
Making yourself miserable
438
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,619
to ease the suffering of others...
439
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,956
about the most Chidi thing you can do.
440
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:41,626
I'll see you later.
441
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,829
Do you want to take the
rest of the those nachos?
442
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:46,297
Yeah, I do. Thank you.
443
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,379
Okay, here's where I'm at.
444
00:16:50,380 --> 00:16:52,844
I just don't know if I
can ever trust you.
445
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,639
I'm gonna call The Judge.
We'll start over.
446
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,799
We won't have Chidi in the mix,
447
00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:00,310
but he'll be on our side again,
which is almost as good.
448
00:17:00,311 --> 00:17:01,853
But we know the humans now.
449
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,059
Starting over sounds exhausting.
450
00:17:04,060 --> 00:17:06,019
I know, but if that's not Michael,
451
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:09,689
he could sabotage us in ways
we can't even perceive,
452
00:17:09,690 --> 00:17:12,589
and even if it is,
I can't fully trust him,
453
00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:13,999
so every time something goes wrong,
454
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,349
a little part of me is gonna wonder.
455
00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:18,496
We have to start over.
456
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:21,319
I have a better idea.
457
00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:22,749
I'm gonna blow myself up.
458
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,960
- What?
- I'll blow myself up.
459
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,170
That way, you can
continue the experiment
460
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,709
with Chidi as one of the people,
461
00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:31,842
which is our best chance
to ever be successful.
462
00:17:31,843 --> 00:17:33,509
Why not just lock you in a room
463
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,554
or in Janet's void or something?
464
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,679
But then you might
worry that I'd escape.
465
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,808
I blow myself up, I'm out
of your hair for good.
466
00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:43,179
Well, parts of me will
be in your actual hair,
467
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:45,319
- but you get it.
- Michael, wait.
468
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,989
Tahani, this is the only way.
469
00:17:46,990 --> 00:17:48,889
There's literally noting I can say
470
00:17:48,890 --> 00:17:51,904
that will make you realize
that I'm really me.
471
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:54,740
Oh, boy. This is gonna suck.
472
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,576
Hopefully, I will see you all
in a few months. Good luck.
473
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,639
Oh, and make sure that you, uh,
474
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,839
get all of me into the container,
475
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,779
or I might come back way shorter.
476
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:07,462
And that would bum me out.
477
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:13,030
I wish I were saying this in
different circumstances but...
478
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:16,129
Take it sleazy.
479
00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:17,299
Michael, wait!
480
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:23,210
Oh, crud nuts.
481
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,609
Jason, how did you know
that was bad Janet?
482
00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:28,599
Michael said there's
nothing he could say
483
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,949
that would make you
realize he's really him,
484
00:18:30,950 --> 00:18:33,079
but Janet does have a thing she can say
485
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,150
that does make me realize
she is really not her.
486
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,449
What?
487
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,759
I called Janet "girl,"
488
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,243
but she didn't say, "Not a girl."
489
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,159
The real Janet always says,
490
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,759
"Not a girl."
491
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,339
Oh, wow.
492
00:18:46,340 --> 00:18:48,639
That realization is the
only thing that stopped me
493
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,420
from becoming a pile of goo.
494
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,599
Oh.
495
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,048
Wait, how did you pull it off?
496
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,301
You were outside on the platform
with me the whole time.
497
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,349
We brought two bad Janets on the train,
498
00:18:57,350 --> 00:18:59,596
you dumb, dumb idiot.
499
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,149
The other one distracted
you on the platform
500
00:19:02,150 --> 00:19:04,359
while good Janet brought
Chris onto the train.
501
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,728
I snuck out, marbelized Janet,
502
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:09,119
and then I took over, baby.
503
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,233
Stupid Michael never knew.
504
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:13,902
I had you fartknockers fooled for weeks,
505
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:16,119
until Glenn the traitor
ruined everything.
506
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:19,129
That guy sucks, right?
507
00:19:19,130 --> 00:19:21,169
Shut up, Glenn.
508
00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:22,203
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
509
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,620
Bad Janets can't
impersonate Good Janets.
510
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,581
I've seen them try.
Their heads melt, so...
511
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,875
Oh. Oh, you're so smart, sir.
512
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,211
Well, listen, here's the thing.
513
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:33,239
Shawn rebooted me,
like, 40 million tines.
514
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,424
Wait, tine-him-is.
515
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,519
Time-ses. These things rule.
516
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,659
Oh, dip. This means
Janet didn't dump me.
517
00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:42,060
Her weird sister did.
518
00:19:42,070 --> 00:19:44,558
Everything makes so much more sense.
519
00:19:44,559 --> 00:19:47,561
All of Janet's ideas were
so counterproductive.
520
00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:49,439
She brought the horse monster to life.
521
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,959
She forced me to antagonize John.
522
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,019
She got us to doubt Eleanor's
leadership skills.
523
00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,399
Oh, I was just about to launch an idea
524
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,839
where Tahani was gonna give herself
525
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,031
an asymmetrical haircut.
526
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,529
You monster.
527
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:02,619
Thank you!
528
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:05,059
Guys, we still have a problem here.
529
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:07,873
You still don't have evidence
that I'm actually me.
530
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,049
Sure, we do.
531
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,549
You offered to sacrifice yourself
532
00:20:10,550 --> 00:20:13,199
to help a bunch of cockroaches.
533
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,339
That's about the most
Michael thing you could do.
534
00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:18,459
Then where's real Janet?
535
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:19,899
Oh, she's in the Bad Place.
536
00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:23,169
She's probably wiping her
butt with her own butt.
537
00:20:24,180 --> 00:20:27,729
I can't bear the idea of poor
Janet down there all alone.
538
00:20:27,730 --> 00:20:30,145
What should we do?
539
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:32,479
I know what to do.
540
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,499
It's like what that
guy who blew up said.
541
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,499
Shawn's a bully,
542
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:39,979
and sometimes, the only
thing a bully understands
543
00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:42,459
is punch in the mouth.
544
00:20:42,460 --> 00:20:44,299
I'm gonna go down there,
545
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,819
I'm gonna punch him in the mouth,
546
00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,699
and I'm gonna get Janet back!
547
00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:51,124
Oh, sounds like somebody has a plan.
548
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,829
Dope. Where is he?
549
00:20:52,830 --> 00:20:55,754
- What's the plan?
- It's okay.
550
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,789
_
551
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,249
You sure you can hold down the fort?
552
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:01,659
Not at all.
553
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,262
You sure you can do your thing?
554
00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,819
Nope.
555
00:21:04,820 --> 00:21:07,016
We'll just try our best. Right?
556
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,268
Okay, let's go get our girl.
557
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,313
Not a girl.
558
00:21:20,230 --> 00:21:24,240
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