1
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:15,807
Attempt number 803 of my new project.
2
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,726
This is the one. I can feel it.
3
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:18,935
I'm ready.
4
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,022
And here we go.
5
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,737
♪ Riding on a groovy wave of love ♪
6
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:32,449
♪ I'm going for a cosmic ride ♪
7
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:36,619
♪ Surf the freaky purple vibes of love ♪
8
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:41,541
♪ The marshmallow cat is inside ♪
9
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,294
"Marshmallow cat is inside"?
10
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,130
That's what I wrote? That's meaningless.
11
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,758
- Janet.
- Hi, there. How's the songwriting going?
12
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:53,803
I'm completely lost here
and I can't do the stupid E chord.
13
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,473
Would you like a magic guitar
that plays all the notes for you?
14
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:59,893
It's the number one request among men
over 50 who have gotten in here.
15
00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,437
No, the whole point
is to learn how to do stuff
16
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,189
without using afterlife magic.
17
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,817
Maybe keep it on deck.
I don't know. Whatever.
18
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:10,153
We should go, by the way.
We're gonna be late.
19
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,572
Oh, where does the time go?
20
00:01:13,948 --> 00:01:17,327
♪ Surf the freaky purple vibes... ♪
21
00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:19,204
-So, ultimately,
22
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:22,457
this all goes back to the line
from Professor May's book,
23
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:27,212
"Mortality offers meaning to our lives
and morality helps navigate that meaning."
24
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:29,047
Wait, what I think it says is that,
25
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:32,342
"Mortality offers meaning
to the events of our lives."
26
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,886
Uh, check yourself, rando.
27
00:01:34,969 --> 00:01:36,387
I think Chidi Anagonye,
28
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who literally designed the afterlife,
knows what he's talking about.
29
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:41,851
Look, I'm pretty sure I'm right
since it's my book.
30
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:46,105
Uh, yes, Professor May, you're probably
right about what you wrote.
31
00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:48,149
Still think
he should check himself.
32
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,568
Okay, everyone.
We'll see you all here next week.
33
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,196
Professor Hieronymi will be teaching
the trolley problem.
34
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,907
Bring ponchos. It gets messy.
35
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,117
You ready, Chidi?
36
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,458
Hello, Jeff. See the collection's grown.
37
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,461
Yeah, sure has.
I have 322 frog things now.
38
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,672
Three twenty-three.
I just got another one!
39
00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:14,634
Never not excited about frogs, that guy.
40
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,927
He knows what he likes.
41
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:21,474
This meeting of the Joint Council
of Afterlife Affairs is called to order.
42
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,520
Let's make this quick, kids.
I just started rewatching The Leftovers.
43
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:28,940
Honestly, when I found out
that Carrie Coon was never nominated,
44
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:31,651
I almost erased 2% of humanity.
45
00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:33,528
Michael, update.
46
00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:34,863
Things are going fairly well.
47
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,574
A new crop of humans just passed
their tests.
48
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,952
Among the notables who got in,
Roberto Clemente,
49
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,454
Zora Neale Hurston,
Saint Thomas Aquinas...
50
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,957
- Yes!
- ...eighth-century Sufi mystic poet
51
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:49,711
Hazrat Bibi Rabia Basri and Clara Peller.
52
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,088
She was the "Where's the Beef?" lady.
53
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,132
- Oh.
- "Where's the Beef?" lady got in.
54
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:55,884
So, that's fun.
55
00:02:55,967 --> 00:03:00,263
Honestly, our biggest problem is
that we need more architects and actors.
56
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:04,517
Well, sorry, but these younger demon
actors have no dedication to their craft.
57
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,769
They think they can just start acting.
58
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,981
They have to learn
that acting is reacting.
59
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:12,567
And reacting is pre-acting.
60
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,987
But pre-acting? Well, that's just being.
61
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:18,865
Okay, take it down a notch,
Daniel Day-Lewis.
62
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,033
Shawn? What ya got?
63
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,869
Well, I'll begin by saying
that this new system stinks,
64
00:03:22,952 --> 00:03:24,120
and Michael stinks,
65
00:03:24,203 --> 00:03:25,997
and we should throw
this all in the garbage
66
00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:28,166
and go back to the way it used to be
when everyone was tortured.
67
00:03:28,249 --> 00:03:32,712
There's still some bumps in the road,
but this system is good and it's working.
68
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:34,631
Come on, admit it.
69
00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,550
I will never... ever, ever, ever, ever...
70
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:43,806
ever, ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...
71
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,559
ever, ever, ever, ever...
72
00:03:47,185 --> 00:03:49,771
ever admit that.
73
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,065
I know, buddy. I know.
74
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,414
- What time is it?
- I don't know.
75
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,166
Really?
76
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:11,751
Yeah.
77
00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,254
At one point, hundreds of Bearimys ago,
78
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,256
I turned off my ability to know
what time it is
79
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,508
anywhere in the universe
when you and I are together.
80
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:20,843
I like not knowing.
81
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,389
It's 10:42 a.m.
82
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:27,267
Sorry, saying out loud that I didn't know
something made me feel weird.
83
00:04:27,892 --> 00:04:30,812
Man, I feel weird
when I do know something.
84
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:32,814
You and I are very different.
85
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,401
Okay, gotta go meet my dad.
I'm gonna try one more time.
86
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,528
- Good luck.
- Thanks.
87
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,406
Ugh, I'm freaking out, man.
88
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:44,742
You got this, dawg.
One more play for all the marbles.
89
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,953
I love you and I believe in you.
90
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,622
Thanks, Dad.
91
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:52,375
-Okay, here we go.
92
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,962
Bortles gonna throw... yes!
93
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,799
- I did it!
- You did it!
94
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,427
It took you more than 433,000 tries,
95
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,680
but you just played
the perfect game of Madden!
96
00:05:05,763 --> 00:05:06,764
You did it!
97
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,685
That's my boy.
That's my boy.
98
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,479
I did it.
99
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:19,944
Okay.
100
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,030
- Janet?
- Hi, there.
101
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,865
Hi, Janet. I made dinner.
102
00:05:23,948 --> 00:05:26,701
You always make it for me,
so this time I wanted to make it.
103
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,953
And real talk, it didn't go great.
104
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:30,413
This is spaghetti.
105
00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:32,373
Now, I know it looks weird,
106
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:36,252
but I bit off a chunk, and actually,
it's pretty bad.
107
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:40,715
Also, I put out the forks and knives
the way kings and queens do it.
108
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Close to the plates.
109
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,177
- Also...
- Uh-oh.
110
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Oh, dip.
111
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:50,433
Yeah.
112
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,018
So...
113
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,646
I need to talk to everyone.
114
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,441
Should I ask them to come here?
115
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,817
No, I...
116
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,195
I had a better idea.
117
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,741
- Hello, you two.
- Hi.
118
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,743
What fun meeting back here!
119
00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:12,497
Wow! You even restored it
to the way it used to look.
120
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:15,374
What inspired this, J-Dawg?
You get a hankering for frozen yogurt?
121
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,292
No.
122
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,211
I have an announcement to make.
123
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,255
I'm leaving.
124
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Going through the door.
125
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Wow.
126
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:25,843
Are you sure?
127
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,387
Yeah, I am.
128
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:29,931
It's time.
129
00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,349
We thought the best move was
130
00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:33,851
to gather everyone together
for a sort of farewell party.
131
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,687
We're gonna eat and drink,
and there will be dancing...
132
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Fun.
133
00:06:38,606 --> 00:06:39,690
Whee!
134
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,943
Okay, homies, you're sad.
135
00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:45,822
I can tell 'cause you have the same looks
on your faces that my teachers did
136
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,532
whenever I raised my hand in class.
137
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,034
But let's be happy. I'm gonna DJ.
138
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,161
We'll play EDM all night. Come on.
139
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,163
- Come on.
- Ah!
140
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,081
Oof!
141
00:06:55,164 --> 00:06:57,041
Now, I'm bummed about two things.
142
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:06,259
Hey there, Doug.
143
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:07,552
- Hi.
- Having fun?
144
00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,137
I've had so much chicken.
145
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,389
It's probably good
you chose your young body.
146
00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:12,431
Yeah.
147
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:17,103
How are you doing?
148
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,189
I'm okay, Michael.
149
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:21,691
How are you?
150
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:22,608
Well...
151
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,694
I'm sad.
152
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:28,489
And I know you're the most advanced being
in the universe,
153
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:32,743
but I feel like I need to tell you
it's okay if you're sad, too.
154
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:33,953
I know.
155
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:39,542
And I am a little, but also, I know
this is the right time for him to leave.
156
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,794
I really am okay. I promise.
157
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,463
Will you come talk to me if you're not?
158
00:07:44,213 --> 00:07:45,089
Always.
159
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,050
-How y'all doin' tonight?
160
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,095
Okay, homies, we got a real special treat.
161
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,681
My old dance crew,
Dance Dance Resolution, is here!
162
00:07:53,764 --> 00:07:56,058
-Y'all ready to tear it up one last time?
163
00:08:40,102 --> 00:08:41,938
What? Yes!
164
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,487
That was special.
165
00:08:49,570 --> 00:08:51,656
I'll never forget this night...
166
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,159
until I walk through the door
and dissolve into the universe.
167
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,494
Can I ask you something, buddy?
168
00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,414
How did you... know?
169
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,919
Look, it wasn't like I heard a bell ring
or anything.
170
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:09,131
I just suddenly had this calm feeling,
171
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:15,137
like the air inside my lungs was the
same as the air outside my body.
172
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:16,806
It was peaceful.
173
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,269
You know the feeling when you think
a jalapeño popper is gonna be too hot,
174
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:25,022
but you bite into it anyway
and it's actually the perfect temperature?
175
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:28,776
Believe it or not, I do know that feeling.
That feeling rules.
176
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:29,902
There you go.
177
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,404
Uh...
178
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,614
Can I get your advice on something?
179
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,368
I'm scared Janet's gonna forget me.
180
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,913
Her falling in love with someone else,
I'm fine with that.
181
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:45,126
If Jason Momoa
or if Lara Croft, Tomb Raider gets in,
182
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:47,628
and Janet's like, "That's what's up!"
183
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:48,671
Totally cool.
184
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:51,841
But her forgetting me would be sad.
185
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,759
So, I made her this.
186
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,013
What do you guys think?
187
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,598
It's lovely.
188
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:04,437
But she's not gonna forget you, man.
I mean, she literally can't.
189
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,063
She remembers everything
that ever happened.
190
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:11,402
Even if she could forget someone,
I don't think she's gonna forget you.
191
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:14,071
Thanks.
192
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:16,741
When I had Jason,
I was 18 years old.
193
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:20,536
In many ways, Jason raised me
just as much as I raised him.
194
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,956
So, thanks for being a great dad, son!
195
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,374
-I love you, Dad!
196
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,210
Jason is the realest dude ever.
197
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:31,922
I mean, none of us are real anymore.
198
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,467
We're all just Caspers the Ghosts
and whatnot.
199
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,011
Which is funny, because me and Jason
ain't even white.
200
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,929
Why are all ghosts white?
201
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,308
Oh, dip, are ghosts racist?
202
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:45,269
What I'm trying to say is,
"I love you, dawg.
203
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:46,937
You're my hero.
204
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:48,856
You're my best friend.
205
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,233
And you're my guard to Minshew."
206
00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:27,144
You can sit on that bench
as long as you want.
207
00:11:27,728 --> 00:11:29,438
Whenever you're ready,
you just walk through.
208
00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:36,779
I love you, Janet.
209
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,739
I love you, too, Jason.
210
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:43,411
I hope you have a nice rest of eternity.
211
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:44,495
Mmm.
212
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:45,621
I made you something.
213
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,667
Oh, dip, I lost it.
214
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:51,710
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.
215
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:53,963
I made you this cool thing
so you'll remember me
216
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,506
even when you're married to Aquaman.
217
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,884
And I lost it somewhere in this forest.
218
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,554
- Some magical squirrel probably ate it.
- Jason, it's okay.
219
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,014
I'm never gonna forget you.
220
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,059
In fact, to me,
you won't even really be gone.
221
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,271
I don't experience time
the same way you do.
222
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,024
I kind of live all times at once.
223
00:12:15,484 --> 00:12:16,652
I know what you mean.
224
00:12:17,194 --> 00:12:20,990
Once, I smoked salvia and saw the past
and the future at the same time.
225
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:21,949
Hmm.
226
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,702
Then I tried to brush my teeth
with my cat.
227
00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:31,083
To me, remembering moments with you
is the same as living in them.
228
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:36,755
Could you just remember the happy times
and forget the bad stuff?
229
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:39,383
There was no bad stuff.
230
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,052
It was all good.
231
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:08,621
Oh.
232
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,332
These spindles are gorgeous.
233
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:15,127
And there's almost a feeling
of musculature to this transition.
234
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:18,923
The oak just sort of told me the shape
before I even got to the spokeshave.
235
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,674
This under-bevel is a great trick.
236
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:24,094
It really makes it feel lighter,
while leaving you plenty of beef to carve.
237
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,680
It's really just a modified Danish line.
238
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:28,015
Still, you made it your own.
239
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,309
This is as good a chair as I've seen.
240
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,977
I have nothing left to teach you.
241
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,354
Ah! Hurrah!
242
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,356
Thank you.
243
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,151
- Janet.
- Hi, there.
244
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,528
Call up the list, please.
245
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:42,821
Congratulations.
246
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,407
Actually, I just finished
repaving my driveway yesterday.
247
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,034
So, cross that one off, too.
248
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,787
Before you start your next project,
249
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:52,957
you should know, that thing that you asked
me to tell you when it happened?
250
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,583
It happened.
251
00:13:56,669 --> 00:14:01,173
I mean, they've gone through the system
so they'll be a little different, right?
252
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,841
One would hope.
253
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,927
I've never had lunch with Mum and Dad.
254
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,346
I've only stood
silently behind their chairs
255
00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:09,557
while they ate lobster tail
with Oscar de la Renta.
256
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,058
I'm right here.
257
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:12,977
We will get through this together.
258
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,980
Here we go.
259
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:22,194
- Mother, Father, welcome to...
- My darlings!
260
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,612
My darlings.
261
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,698
My little girls!
262
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:28,701
We love you both so much!
263
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,744
So very much!
264
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,330
We have a million things
to talk to you about.
265
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:36,041
But first, we are sorry.
266
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:39,253
We'll just be endlessly sorry,
forever and ever.
267
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,426
- Holy crap.
- I know, right?
268
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:04,945
Ugh!
269
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:08,616
For the one millionth time
they've sent us teddy bears and flowers.
270
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:11,702
You think they'd understand we can get
these things ourselves if we want.
271
00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:16,373
- Ah, that's lovely.
- Thanks.
272
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,251
You know, I never thought
I would say this,
273
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,836
but I'm getting a little bored
274
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,339
of Mom and Dad telling us
how much they love us.
275
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,799
Yes.
276
00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,928
Isn't that something?
277
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:36,769
Well, this may not come as a surprise
to any of you, but...
278
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:39,772
I'm ready to go.
279
00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,149
Oh, nuts. I knew it.
280
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,068
- You finished everything on your list?
- I did.
281
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:48,113
I learned how to install a bathtub,
fly a helicopter, defuse a bomb,
282
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,658
deliver the perfect backhand slice.
283
00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:54,453
My last goal was to spend
one meaningful day with my parents,
284
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:56,664
and now I've spent thousands of them.
285
00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:58,582
I feel complete.
286
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,793
Would you like me
to prepare a farewell party for you?
287
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:03,045
No need. I've done it myself.
288
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,089
I've cooked all the food,
mixed all the drinks,
289
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,883
made all the furniture,
repainted all the walls,
290
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,426
and trained all the animals.
291
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:10,469
Champagne?
292
00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:11,553
Uh, sure.
293
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:12,763
Thank you, panda.
294
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:15,307
Also, I've already said goodbye
to everyone else in my life.
295
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,976
My sister, my parents...
296
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,520
Bey and Jay, who took it very hard.
297
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,856
Tonight, it's just us.
298
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:35,869
I hate to tell you this,
but your risotto was a little sticky.
299
00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:38,372
- Was it?
- No, damn it, it was amazing.
300
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:42,626
Just trying to figure out a way to get you
to hang around for a few more Bearimys.
301
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:44,712
Can I tell you something?
302
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,006
You're my role model.
303
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,841
Come on.
304
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:49,925
I'm serious.
305
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:54,513
Babe, you were already
the most impressive person I ever met,
306
00:16:54,596 --> 00:16:56,557
and now you can do literally everything.
307
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,893
If that's true,
it's because you inspired me.
308
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,896
I admire you so very much.
309
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,942
Your strength, your toughness,
your self-esteem, not to mention...
310
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,611
you have a rockin' bod.
311
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:11,822
Did you just turn the tables on me?
312
00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,451
I got nothin' left to teach you.
313
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,120
- Janet.
- Hi, there.
314
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,080
One more goal to add to the list, please.
315
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:22,082
Now, cross it off.
316
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,172
I know we already said goodbye.
I'm not even here.
317
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:29,381
I just had to see you one last time
318
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,508
because I hooked up
with Alexander the Great.
319
00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:33,927
- Oh.
- And it was more like Alexander the Fine.
320
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:34,845
-Okay.
321
00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:36,638
Anyway, I love you, I love you,
goodbye forever.
322
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:37,639
- Bye, love!
- Bye.
323
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,976
I admire your breadth of knowledge.
324
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,353
I can only do one thing, be an architect.
325
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:47,691
I've spent the last 500 Bearimys
trying to learn how to play the guitar.
326
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,486
And I just mastered "Hey There Delilah."
327
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,738
Don't sell yourself short, Michael.
328
00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:56,283
I dare say you're the greatest architect
in existence.
329
00:17:56,366 --> 00:18:00,120
- And I should know...
- Frank Gehry is my godfather.
330
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:03,040
Fair enough. I deserved that.
331
00:18:03,123 --> 00:18:06,502
Oh, Tahani,
I'm gonna miss you, babe.
332
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:08,962
Wait.
333
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:10,839
I don't want to leave.
334
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,592
Great. Then, stay.
335
00:18:13,675 --> 00:18:16,386
New party, everyone. A staying party.
336
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,514
No, I also don't want to stay.
337
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,100
I'm done here,
but I don't want to go there.
338
00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,560
It's kind of your only options.
339
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:25,229
No, they aren't.
340
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:28,899
I want to learn to do
what you do, Michael.
341
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,068
I want to be an architect,
design afterlives.
342
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:35,489
Tahani, you're a wonderful person
but you're a person.
343
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,366
- It's impossible.
- Nonsense.
344
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:40,160
I can learn,
just like I learned all this other stuff.
345
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:43,413
I've spent most of my life
pretending to help people.
346
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,666
If I were an architect,
I could do it for real.
347
00:18:45,749 --> 00:18:47,334
Let me at least try.
348
00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,213
Don't make me talk to your manager.
349
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:52,673
Oh!
350
00:18:53,757 --> 00:18:55,259
- That's my girl!
- Oh!
351
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:56,844
Hey, Jeff.
352
00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,888
Boy, kind of getting away
from you here, huh?
353
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:04,685
Yeah. I love frogs though,
so it's awesome.
354
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:06,937
I did bring you one.
355
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,231
Thanks, Tahani. Just toss it on the pile.
356
00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:13,527
Wait, hang on, hang on.
So you can never tell a woman to smile?
357
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,989
What if she'd legitimately be prettier
if she smiled?
358
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:18,198
Aren't I helping her?
359
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:23,203
Glenn, Beadie,
this is your new intern, Tahani.
360
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,289
Tahani! This is so neat.
361
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:28,458
I haven't seen you
since I was exploded into goo.
362
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,377
I didn't get any me on you, did I?
363
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:33,672
You did, but it's all
goo under the bridge.
364
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,800
Anyway, I want to learn everything.
365
00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:39,887
I shall start at the bottom
and earn my way up.
366
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:42,681
To wit,
would anyone like a cup of antimatter?
367
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:44,892
Sure,
I take mine with non-dairy neutrinos.
368
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:45,893
Coming right up.
369
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:53,609
Thank you, Michael, for everything.
370
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:54,610
You're welcome.
371
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,906
I brought you a little
"first day on the job" present.
372
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,743
Once you're a big deal around here,
373
00:20:02,826 --> 00:20:05,662
I hope you don't mind
if I brag about knowing you.
374
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:10,375
Name dropping is a little gauche, Michael,
but do as you must.
375
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:25,390
"Working out the terms of
moral justification is an unending task."
376
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:26,725
Boom!
377
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:28,018
I did it.
378
00:20:28,101 --> 00:20:31,647
It only took me 2,000 Bearimys,
but I finally finished that book.
379
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:36,526
Sucker! Reading you was
an unending task, but I freaking did it!
380
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,238
- Congrats, babe.
- Thanks. What are you reading?
381
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:40,614
The Da Vinci Code.
382
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:43,075
- Really?
- After a thousand lifetimes
383
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:46,286
of reading the most difficult writings
in the world, I've acquired a new passion:
384
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,330
garbage books!
385
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,208
Do you think I would have been
a good symbologist...
386
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,794
- if that were a real job?
- Yes, I do.
387
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:56,296
You're very cute.
Come on, we gotta go to dinner.
388
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,967
I can't believe
she learned to cook this well.
389
00:21:00,050 --> 00:21:01,468
When I first met Tahani on Earth,
390
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:03,679
she was trying to shove jewelry
into a vending machine.
391
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:08,558
Okay, well, if she is an architect,
then she should design my idea.
392
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,812
A karaoke room that's also a tanning bed.
393
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:12,896
Ooh, yes.
394
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:15,983
And the harder you commit to the song,
the tanner you get.
395
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:20,904
I am so glad that going through the system
did not totally change you two dingdongs.
396
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,324
For dessert, we have to get the tiramisu.
397
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:28,453
Man, Chidi Anagonye,
just casually making choices.
398
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:31,915
I never thought I'd live to see it.
I mean, I guess I didn't.
399
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:34,835
-That's right, 'cause we're all dead!
400
00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:40,882
That was so fun.
401
00:21:41,508 --> 00:21:44,052
Yeah. Yeah, it's always fun to see them.
402
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,179
Every time we do it, it's fun.
403
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:49,099
I had coffee with my mom the other day,
and she says hi.
404
00:21:49,182 --> 00:21:52,894
But she also finally learned
how to pronounce your mom's name,
405
00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:55,188
-which is good.
406
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:58,358
Yeah. They were joking about that
last time we saw them.
407
00:21:58,442 --> 00:21:59,401
- Mmm.
- Remember?
408
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:01,111
-Oh, right. Yeah.
409
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:04,740
Shakespeare went through the door.
410
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:05,949
- Really?
- Yeah.
411
00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,994
- Everyone's talking about it.
- It's probably for the best.
412
00:22:09,077 --> 00:22:12,664
His last 4,000 plays were not nearly
as good as the ones he wrote on Earth.
413
00:22:13,206 --> 00:22:16,418
I mean, did you see
The Tempest Two: Here We Blow Again?
414
00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:17,794
- Mmm.
- Woof!
415
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,176
Do you mind if we go home?
416
00:22:24,843 --> 00:22:25,677
I'm tired.
417
00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:28,263
Sure. Okay.
418
00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:35,353
Uh...
419
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,315
I'm gonna get ready for bed.
420
00:22:38,398 --> 00:22:41,318
Cool, I'm gonna take a little stroll.
I'll see you in a bit.
421
00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:42,277
Okay.
422
00:22:48,950 --> 00:22:51,078
- Dude!
- Hey. Perfect.
423
00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:52,454
Are these good lyrics?
424
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,248
♪ The psychedelic stardust ♪
425
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,334
♪ And moonbeam banana... ♪
426
00:22:57,417 --> 00:22:58,794
No, stop. That's terrible.
427
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:01,838
And we got a problem.
I think Chidi's gonna leave.
428
00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:02,756
Really?
429
00:23:04,091 --> 00:23:05,675
Did he say he was ready?
430
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:09,554
He didn't say exactly that,
but he's getting close. I can tell.
431
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:13,183
I need to do something to shake things up,
light a spark.
432
00:23:13,266 --> 00:23:15,894
- Oh. Janet?
- Hi, there.
433
00:23:15,977 --> 00:23:19,022
Hi. I think Chidi's almost ready
to walk through the door,
434
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,107
and I need to keep him here,
435
00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:24,111
so, um, can you make me a bed
shaped like a giant highlighter,
436
00:23:24,194 --> 00:23:27,364
and a sexy, edible valedictorian robe?
437
00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:29,866
No, I think this calls
for something spiritual.
438
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:32,369
Ah, okay, but if I do this right,
my man's gonna be talking to God,
439
00:23:32,452 --> 00:23:34,162
you know what I mean?
Wait, what do you mean?
440
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:37,165
Forgive me, Eleanor,
but if Chidi's ready to go...
441
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:38,375
it's time for him to go.
442
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:40,710
Uh, he didn't say that yet, though.
443
00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:42,629
We're in classic Chidi gray area.
444
00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:45,799
You need to remind him
of what's great about this place.
445
00:23:46,174 --> 00:23:49,886
Oh, oh, remember where he took us
the first month we were all together?
446
00:23:49,970 --> 00:23:52,848
Oh, great idea. Yes! Janet, set the scene.
447
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:56,393
Okay. Would you like it restored
to its original glory?
448
00:23:56,476 --> 00:23:58,937
No. First time he went, he was in college.
449
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:02,983
Have it look and feel exactly like it was
that day when he fell in love with it.
450
00:24:03,692 --> 00:24:06,403
Also, pack me the edible robe.
That might seal the deal.
451
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:08,738
Okay, you're all set.
452
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,994
Hey, guess what? Surprise trip, come on.
453
00:24:14,077 --> 00:24:16,663
- Surprise trip? Now?
- Yeah.
454
00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:19,249
Special fun trip, just us two. Let's go.
455
00:24:19,332 --> 00:24:21,209
Can I change out of my pajamas first?
456
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:23,044
Let the door do it. Come on!
457
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:24,671
- Come on, come on, come on!
- Okay.
458
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:35,891
Oh... Oh, man, Eleanor.
459
00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:38,435
Right? We haven't been here in so long.
460
00:24:38,518 --> 00:24:42,731
Athens. Man, this city,
it takes my breath away every time.
461
00:24:43,356 --> 00:24:46,359
Talk it out, bud. Tell me everything
you know about this place.
462
00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:47,694
Because, full disclosure,
463
00:24:47,777 --> 00:24:49,404
I didn't really listen
the first time you told me.
464
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:51,865
Well, I mean...
465
00:24:51,948 --> 00:24:53,116
That's the Acropolis.
466
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,744
Oh, and this is the Pnyx.
467
00:24:55,827 --> 00:24:58,455
Thousands of Athenians would gather here
468
00:24:58,538 --> 00:25:01,833
and listen to people discuss their city
and its laws
469
00:25:01,917 --> 00:25:04,044
from that stage right there.
470
00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:06,213
This is literally where democracy started.
471
00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:07,589
Well, that's fine and dandy,
472
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,759
but as you might know,
I'm kind of a philosophy gal.
473
00:25:11,843 --> 00:25:13,762
Where were the big brains hanging out?
474
00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:18,225
Socrates, Aristotle, Plato, Diogenes...
475
00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:21,728
they all gathered right here
in the Agora.
476
00:25:21,811 --> 00:25:24,648
It was like the Avengers,
but for super thinkers.
477
00:25:25,649 --> 00:25:28,526
Come on, you brought me here.
You knew what was gonna happen.
478
00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:30,737
No, I love that you're so happy.
479
00:25:30,820 --> 00:25:32,239
Hey, let me ask you something.
480
00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:36,368
Is it weird that when I picture
Ancient Greeks I make them really hot?
481
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:39,871
To me, Aristotle is basically
John Stamos with a beard.
482
00:25:39,955 --> 00:25:42,874
- Honestly, that's how I picture him, too.
- Good, same page.
483
00:26:02,018 --> 00:26:04,354
What's this called again? "Kouluvri"?
484
00:26:04,437 --> 00:26:07,774
Koulouri. Man, I lived on these
when I was here.
485
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:10,694
I like to picture
a young Chidi Anagonye here,
486
00:26:10,777 --> 00:26:14,489
reading, nerding out,
treating himself to a koulouri
487
00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:17,993
if he had an astute insight
into Aristotelian virtue ethics.
488
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,204
That... is accurate.
489
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:25,375
That is an accurate picture
of 20-year-old me.
490
00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:30,297
This was so special. Thank you.
491
00:26:30,964 --> 00:26:31,923
Should we head home?
492
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:36,553
Nope, because we're not done yet.
493
00:26:36,636 --> 00:26:39,306
There's more special trip. Janet.
494
00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,599
Hi, there. You enjoying your trip, Chidi?
495
00:26:41,683 --> 00:26:44,227
Yes, we are, but it's not over yet.
496
00:26:44,811 --> 00:26:48,356
We are ready to head
to destination number two, remember?
497
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,191
Yes, of course.
498
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,693
Head right this way.
499
00:26:57,198 --> 00:26:59,367
Oh, man. Oh, wow.
500
00:27:00,285 --> 00:27:03,997
- Paris.
- Yes, Paris. Obviously.
501
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:09,085
My favorite city. And you even picked
the ideal weather.
502
00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:13,298
Overcast and chilly.
Perfect for staying inside and reading.
503
00:27:13,381 --> 00:27:15,383
Is this what you were hinting to me?
504
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,053
I was thinking Six Flags,
but this is way better.
505
00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:22,307
I used to come to this café every day
when I lived here.
506
00:27:22,390 --> 00:27:24,434
I tried to sit
in a different seat each time,
507
00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:27,854
so I could eventually say
that I definitely sat
508
00:27:27,937 --> 00:27:30,857
in the exact same place
as Jean-Paul Sartre,
509
00:27:30,940 --> 00:27:36,071
Simone de Beauvoir, and Richard Wright,
Brecht, James Baldwin...
510
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:39,532
Well, we got all the time
in the world now, baby.
511
00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:42,327
Put that booty
in a seat warmed by history.
512
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:46,956
Eleanor, I know what you're doing.
513
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,211
Being the best eternal girlfriend ever?
Guilty.
514
00:27:52,128 --> 00:27:53,421
Let's take a walk.
515
00:27:55,673 --> 00:27:59,761
So, Eleanor, here it is.
516
00:27:59,844 --> 00:28:02,013
I love you...
517
00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:05,016
- completely and utterly...
- Oh, crap.
518
00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:06,059
But I have to go.
519
00:28:06,726 --> 00:28:08,311
But you don't, though.
520
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:11,314
You don't have to go.
You don't have to leave me.
521
00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:16,277
I don't want to leave you.
I'm just... ready to leave.
522
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:18,988
I have the same feeling
that the others described,
523
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:21,199
a kind of quietude in my soul.
524
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,368
But... you just had it.
525
00:28:23,451 --> 00:28:25,620
What if those other dummies
didn't wait long enough
526
00:28:25,703 --> 00:28:27,163
and the feeling fades,
527
00:28:27,247 --> 00:28:29,916
and you get to spend
another billion Bearimys
528
00:28:29,999 --> 00:28:33,128
in fake afterlife Europe
with your kickass girlfriend?
529
00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:34,337
I didn't just have it.
530
00:28:35,171 --> 00:28:36,714
I've had it a long time.
531
00:28:37,966 --> 00:28:40,343
Remember that day
we were with our parents?
532
00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:42,971
My mom kissed you goodbye...
533
00:28:43,638 --> 00:28:47,851
and got lipstick on your cheek,
and your mom rubbed it off.
534
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:51,813
I don't know why that was it, but...
535
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:54,315
that was it.
536
00:28:54,816 --> 00:28:57,777
-And I didn't want to tell you, because...
537
00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:02,198
- Because...
- No, man, this can't... be.
538
00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:04,868
Because Jason's gone,
539
00:29:04,951 --> 00:29:08,455
Tahani's off doing her thing
and I'm not ready to go.
540
00:29:08,538 --> 00:29:11,458
So if you leave, then I'm alone here.
541
00:29:11,541 --> 00:29:13,126
I was alone
my whole life...
542
00:29:14,377 --> 00:29:16,880
and I told myself I like it that way,
but I don't.
543
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:21,259
I like being with you.
544
00:29:24,053 --> 00:29:25,263
Okay. I won't go.
545
00:29:26,389 --> 00:29:28,391
- Really?
- Yeah, I won't go. There's...
546
00:29:29,684 --> 00:29:31,895
There is still plenty to do.
547
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:33,813
I'll stay.
548
00:29:36,524 --> 00:29:38,401
Who's ready for Six Flags?
549
00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:41,571
Oh, we're good. We got it.
He's gonna stay.
550
00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:50,497
So, what do you wanna do?
Turn into birds and fly to Notre Dame?
551
00:29:51,039 --> 00:29:52,499
Stand on top of the Eiffel Tower
552
00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:55,210
and throw water balloons
onto imaginary tourists?
553
00:29:55,293 --> 00:29:56,628
Whatever you want to do.
554
00:29:57,253 --> 00:30:01,090
Okay, well, let's freshen up,
have dinner at some schmancy restaurant,
555
00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:02,717
order a million-dollar bottle of wine,
556
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:05,386
even though it tastes
exactly like cheap, stupid wine,
557
00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:07,430
sit in a room at the Georges Cinq
558
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:10,683
and watch Real Housewives of...
whatever city they're doing that in now.
559
00:30:11,893 --> 00:30:12,852
Love it.
560
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:16,314
I'm gonna walk around my old neighborhood.
See where I used to live.
561
00:30:16,397 --> 00:30:18,858
- Meet you at the restaurant?
- Yeah.
562
00:30:18,942 --> 00:30:19,984
All right.
563
00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:50,932
Let's see what's on the menu.
564
00:30:52,392 --> 00:30:56,104
"Literally anything
you could possibly imagine." Hmm.
565
00:30:56,187 --> 00:30:57,355
What are you thinking?
566
00:30:58,356 --> 00:31:03,027
"Working out the terms of
moral justification is an unending task."
567
00:31:03,611 --> 00:31:06,197
That's what I was thinking about.
That sentence.
568
00:31:06,281 --> 00:31:07,740
You wanna eat that sentence for dinner?
569
00:31:07,824 --> 00:31:10,285
Can we eat words?
'Cause I asked Janet about this and...
570
00:31:10,368 --> 00:31:14,247
No, no, it's the last line
of Scanlon's book, remember?
571
00:31:14,330 --> 00:31:15,164
Ah.
572
00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:17,292
The whole book is about
how we should try to find rules
573
00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:21,129
other people can't reasonably reject,
and then he ends it by saying,
574
00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:25,884
the search for how to find those rules
will go on forever.
575
00:31:26,634 --> 00:31:30,388
I proposed a rule
that Chidis shouldn't be allowed to leave
576
00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:33,182
because it would make Eleanors sad.
577
00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:35,351
And I could do this forever.
578
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,521
Zip you around the universe,
showing you cool stuff,
579
00:31:39,439 --> 00:31:44,736
and I'd still never find the justification
for getting you to stay...
580
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,032
because it's a selfish rule.
581
00:31:50,575 --> 00:31:54,454
I owe it to you to let you go.
582
00:32:16,225 --> 00:32:18,603
I was never good at being sad,
583
00:32:18,686 --> 00:32:22,231
partly because
my mom straight up told me not to be.
584
00:32:23,775 --> 00:32:25,944
But this is sad, man.
585
00:32:27,445 --> 00:32:28,863
You got a John Locke quote
586
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:32,241
or a piece of Kantian wisdom
you can throw at me?
587
00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:36,329
Those guys were more focused
on rules and regulations.
588
00:32:37,330 --> 00:32:41,626
For spiritual stuff,
you gotta turn to the East.
589
00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:43,878
I'll take anything you got. Hit me.
590
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:51,094
Picture a wave... in the ocean.
591
00:32:53,179 --> 00:32:55,139
You can see it, measure it, its height,
592
00:32:55,223 --> 00:33:01,562
the way the sunlight refracts
when it passes through and it's there,
593
00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:04,482
and you can see it,
and you know what it is, it's a wave.
594
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:10,363
And then it crashes on the shore...
and it's gone.
595
00:33:12,407 --> 00:33:16,369
But the water is still there.
596
00:33:18,579 --> 00:33:24,627
The wave was just a different way
for the water to be,
597
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:26,170
for a little while.
598
00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:31,843
That's one conception of death,
for a Buddhist.
599
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:36,389
The wave returns to the ocean...
600
00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,227
-...where it came from,
601
00:33:42,937 --> 00:33:44,814
and where it's supposed to be.
602
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:49,277
- Not bad, Buddhists.
- Not bad.
603
00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:54,073
None of this is bad.
604
00:34:02,832 --> 00:34:05,376
- I need you to do me one last favor.
- Mmm-hmm?
605
00:34:07,003 --> 00:34:09,338
Say goodbye to me now.
606
00:34:09,422 --> 00:34:11,382
Then leave before I wake up.
607
00:35:01,015 --> 00:35:03,893
You can sit on that bench
as long as you'd like
608
00:35:03,976 --> 00:35:07,772
and whenever you're ready,
you just walk through.
609
00:35:10,024 --> 00:35:11,025
I'm ready.
610
00:35:30,044 --> 00:35:31,295
Oh, dip! You're back.
611
00:35:32,296 --> 00:35:33,131
Jason?
612
00:35:33,214 --> 00:35:34,048
Yeah!
613
00:35:34,132 --> 00:35:36,676
What... but how... why...
614
00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:39,053
Funny story.
615
00:35:39,137 --> 00:35:41,180
- Remember how I made you something...
- Uh-huh.
616
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:43,182
...and I thought I lost it
because it wasn't in my pocket?
617
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:45,434
- Uh-huh?
- Turns out, it was in my other pocket.
618
00:35:45,518 --> 00:35:47,854
-By the time I found it, you were gone.
619
00:35:47,937 --> 00:35:49,981
I was just gonna leave it for you,
but I was worried
620
00:35:50,064 --> 00:35:54,986
it would get eaten by that magic squirrel,
so I decided to wait for you to come back.
621
00:35:55,069 --> 00:35:59,824
Every so often, a different Janet came,
but I knew it wasn't you.
622
00:35:59,907 --> 00:36:02,785
Jason, it's been, like, 1,000 Bearimys.
623
00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:05,371
I know. But I wanted to see you again.
624
00:36:06,455 --> 00:36:07,748
It was actually pretty easy to wait.
625
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:12,628
I sort of just sat quietly
and let my mind drift away...
626
00:36:13,671 --> 00:36:17,758
thought about you
and the infinity of the universe.
627
00:36:18,342 --> 00:36:19,594
Kind of like a monk.
628
00:36:19,677 --> 00:36:21,053
What do you mean?
629
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:23,431
Um...
630
00:36:29,312 --> 00:36:30,897
Looks good, not-a-girl.
631
00:36:35,610 --> 00:36:36,819
Chidi, wait up.
632
00:36:44,118 --> 00:36:48,497
Hey-o! Time to go nuts,
because I brought doughnuts!
633
00:36:48,581 --> 00:36:49,457
Huh! No one's here?
634
00:36:49,540 --> 00:36:51,500
Shoot. That was gonna be a big laugh.
635
00:36:51,584 --> 00:36:54,128
Hey, sweetie. Did you not get the message?
636
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:56,172
No. Why, was the meeting canceled?
637
00:36:56,255 --> 00:36:59,842
Uh, yeah, forever.
We dissolved the council.
638
00:36:59,926 --> 00:37:01,427
- What?
- We don't need it anymore.
639
00:37:01,510 --> 00:37:03,471
Your system's working perfectly.
640
00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:06,224
Millions of humans
passing their tests, you know.
641
00:37:06,307 --> 00:37:08,935
Oh, Vicky's really killing it
on the training. So, it's all good.
642
00:37:09,018 --> 00:37:11,062
Well, you... all right, well, hang on.
643
00:37:11,145 --> 00:37:14,815
Look, how are we even sure
that this is the right system?
644
00:37:14,899 --> 00:37:16,651
I mean, honestly, I think Shawn was right.
645
00:37:16,734 --> 00:37:18,986
This whole thing sucks,
and we should start from scratch.
646
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:22,782
Relax, worrywart. Take a load off, huh?
647
00:37:22,865 --> 00:37:27,620
Enjoy yourself. You know what I just
discovered recently? Podcasts.
648
00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:31,374
There's, like, a billion of them
and they just keep coming.
649
00:37:31,457 --> 00:37:32,541
- Hmm.
- Now, scoot!
650
00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:36,003
I got a new Radiolab to listen to
about how clams learn.
651
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,673
- Hmm.
- Pretty excited.
652
00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:53,062
I love you.
653
00:37:53,145 --> 00:37:54,605
And you don't need to respond
654
00:37:54,689 --> 00:37:57,400
'cause I know
you have trouble saying how you feel...
655
00:37:57,483 --> 00:37:58,901
I love you, too.
656
00:38:02,071 --> 00:38:03,531
Knock, knock, knock.
657
00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:05,783
Oh. Hey, what's up?
658
00:38:05,866 --> 00:38:06,867
Can I talk to you for a sec?
659
00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:10,579
Yeah, sure, why not? Hey, Derek?
660
00:38:10,663 --> 00:38:13,457
Yes, Mindy? What can Derek do for you?
661
00:38:13,541 --> 00:38:17,295
Eleanor and I are gonna talk for a bit,
so go into your nethersphere.
662
00:38:17,378 --> 00:38:18,504
That's Derek?
663
00:38:18,587 --> 00:38:22,967
Mindy has rebooted Derek more than
151 million times.
664
00:38:23,050 --> 00:38:25,553
Derek is now both
a singular point in space,
665
00:38:25,636 --> 00:38:28,306
and yet Derek also contains space itself.
666
00:38:28,389 --> 00:38:31,142
The nexus of Derek is without dimension.
667
00:38:31,225 --> 00:38:33,102
The moment of Derek's creation
668
00:38:33,185 --> 00:38:35,438
and the eventual heat death
of the universe
669
00:38:35,521 --> 00:38:38,107
are now inexorably the same.
670
00:38:38,190 --> 00:38:40,484
Ugh, you are so annoying!
671
00:38:43,654 --> 00:38:44,655
Want a beer?
672
00:38:44,739 --> 00:38:47,074
So that's how you spend your days,
673
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:50,786
wandering around, searching for the thing
that makes you complete?
674
00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:51,787
Pretty much.
675
00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:54,874
I thought it was connected to my parents
or my friends.
676
00:38:54,957 --> 00:38:57,710
But now I think
it might be something else.
677
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:59,003
I think it might be you.
678
00:38:59,587 --> 00:39:01,172
I think my final mission
679
00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:04,925
might be to convince you
to go through the system. Take the test.
680
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:07,553
You know, when I first met you,
681
00:39:07,636 --> 00:39:11,932
I thought...
"Well, there's a chick I understand."
682
00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:15,561
Lone wolf, totally independent,
knows what she wants.
683
00:39:15,644 --> 00:39:17,438
Cocaine and self-pleasure.
684
00:39:17,521 --> 00:39:21,484
Right. But I actually think
you're a version of me
685
00:39:21,567 --> 00:39:23,319
if I'd never met my friends.
686
00:39:23,402 --> 00:39:27,948
You're the worst-case scenario
of what I could've become. No offense.
687
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:32,328
None taken. Look, the thing is, Eleanor,
I am fine with where I am.
688
00:39:32,411 --> 00:39:34,747
See, I don't think you are.
689
00:39:34,830 --> 00:39:37,124
Or at least, you could be better.
690
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:40,419
If we're cut from the same cloth,
then trust me,
691
00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:42,797
there's a greater happiness
waiting for you
692
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,965
if you form bonds with other people.
693
00:39:45,049 --> 00:39:47,051
And I think you know that.
694
00:39:47,134 --> 00:39:48,928
You told me about me and Chidi that time.
695
00:39:49,011 --> 00:39:51,847
You showed me the tape.
You said you were rooting for us.
696
00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,891
I think you have the ability to care.
697
00:39:56,060 --> 00:39:59,563
I don't know.
Caring just seems like a lot of work.
698
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:02,566
- Mmm.
- And I have been on my own for so long.
699
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:06,112
I can't imagine putting my fate
in the hands of some stranger.
700
00:40:06,195 --> 00:40:08,239
I thought you might say that.
701
00:40:09,657 --> 00:40:11,617
Hello, gorgeous.
702
00:40:11,700 --> 00:40:13,577
Eleanor!
703
00:40:14,161 --> 00:40:18,165
And Mindy St. Claire!
As I neither live nor breathe.
704
00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:19,667
What brings you ladies here?
705
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:23,587
I'm trying to convince Mindy
to enter the system after all this time.
706
00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:27,383
She's a little worried
about who might end up designing her test.
707
00:40:27,466 --> 00:40:28,968
Say no more. I'm on the case.
708
00:40:29,051 --> 00:40:31,762
Really? Are you certified or whatever?
709
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,598
Well, not yet,
but it won't be long, right, Shawn?
710
00:40:34,682 --> 00:40:39,478
I think you'll find that Tahani
will be certified very soon.
711
00:40:40,354 --> 00:40:44,316
Did that sound evil?
I didn't mean it to. I was sincere.
712
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,526
Force of habit.
713
00:40:45,609 --> 00:40:48,779
I do think you'll find
that Tahani will be certified very...
714
00:40:48,863 --> 00:40:49,697
Shut up, Glenn!
715
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:53,742
Great. So, you go back to your old life,
chill with your floating Derek head.
716
00:40:53,826 --> 00:40:56,245
When Tahani gets certified,
you enter the system,
717
00:40:56,328 --> 00:40:57,913
Tahani designs your test. Deal?
718
00:40:59,373 --> 00:41:01,208
Why not? Something new.
719
00:41:02,376 --> 00:41:05,671
Thanks for giving a crap about me.
720
00:41:05,754 --> 00:41:10,634
I don't really give a crap about myself,
so it's nice that someone does.
721
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:14,346
I'm really glad I filmed you having sex.
722
00:41:15,097 --> 00:41:16,098
Me, too.
723
00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:23,981
You can sit on that bench
as long as you want.
724
00:41:24,064 --> 00:41:26,317
Whenever you're ready,
you just walk through.
725
00:41:27,234 --> 00:41:29,570
Well, good, because I'm definitely ready.
726
00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:32,448
I'm ready.
727
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,243
I'm not ready.
728
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:38,037
Damn it, Janet. What the fork?
729
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,623
I should be ready and I'm not.
730
00:41:40,706 --> 00:41:41,707
But I am.
731
00:41:43,709 --> 00:41:46,754
- Michael, what are you doing?
- I'm going through the door.
732
00:41:46,837 --> 00:41:51,842
There's nothing left for me to do.
I feel sated and complete.
733
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,011
I'm not sure
you're thinking this through, dude.
734
00:41:54,094 --> 00:41:54,929
Yes, I am.
735
00:41:55,012 --> 00:41:56,680
A calm has washed over me...
736
00:41:57,431 --> 00:41:58,307
Blah, blah, blah.
737
00:41:58,390 --> 00:41:59,225
Goodbye.
738
00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:08,275
Did I go through the wrong way?
739
00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:10,069
Wait, wait, just one...
740
00:42:10,152 --> 00:42:11,987
This is gonna look silly,
but it probably will work...
741
00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:14,532
Michael, what are you doing?
742
00:42:14,615 --> 00:42:19,119
I am returning my damn essence
to the damn fabric of the damn universe.
743
00:42:19,703 --> 00:42:21,163
Oh, yeah. Okay.
744
00:42:21,247 --> 00:42:24,708
Oh, there we go. It's working now.
745
00:42:24,792 --> 00:42:28,963
It's working. I'm leaving. Bye!
746
00:42:30,798 --> 00:42:33,592
It's not working,
because you're looking. Stop looking!
747
00:42:33,676 --> 00:42:35,636
Michael, that door is not for you.
748
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:38,764
Why not? I invented the damn thing.
749
00:42:38,847 --> 00:42:40,015
You know, this stinks!
750
00:42:40,099 --> 00:42:43,143
You guys get to move on,
but I am trapped here forever?
751
00:42:43,227 --> 00:42:44,103
How is that fair?
752
00:42:44,186 --> 00:42:45,563
Oh! I got it!
753
00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:47,231
Eleanor, come here...
754
00:42:48,399 --> 00:42:51,193
You go through, and give me a piggy-back.
We can trick it.
755
00:42:51,277 --> 00:42:52,111
- No.
- Michael.
756
00:42:52,194 --> 00:42:53,737
Ow! Michael, no!
757
00:42:53,821 --> 00:42:58,033
Michael! All right, come with me.
758
00:42:58,117 --> 00:42:59,618
Fire squids are heavy!
759
00:42:59,702 --> 00:43:00,828
- Yeah.
- Sorry.
760
00:43:01,412 --> 00:43:03,956
New people are getting in all the time.
761
00:43:04,039 --> 00:43:07,209
Tahani's still around.
Maybe team up with her,
762
00:43:07,293 --> 00:43:10,004
- design some afterlife neighborhoods?
- I did that already, remember?
763
00:43:10,087 --> 00:43:14,258
Spent 50 Bearimys making
new neighborhoods for new residents.
764
00:43:14,341 --> 00:43:17,678
When you've already designed
the ultimate one, it's kind of a letdown.
765
00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:22,266
I've loved being here,
but Jason's gone, Chidi's gone.
766
00:43:22,349 --> 00:43:25,311
You know, even Doug Forcett
went through the door.
767
00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:28,981
That was probably for the best.
That guy partied so hard when he was here.
768
00:43:29,064 --> 00:43:31,859
I guess I'll just stay here forever,
you know, putter around,
769
00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:35,321
doing mundane things,
like some sad, old retiree.
770
00:43:35,404 --> 00:43:38,365
Maybe I'll have Janet
make me a hardware store,
771
00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:41,619
so I can buy a hex wrench
that I don't really need.
772
00:43:43,078 --> 00:43:44,038
Cockamamie!
773
00:43:44,121 --> 00:43:47,625
That's what I think of your plan,
I think it's cockamamie!
774
00:43:47,708 --> 00:43:51,045
I think it's a great plan,
and I bet deep down you do too.
775
00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:53,255
- It sets a bad precedent.
- Babe!
776
00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:57,134
No one else is ever
gonna wanna do this. Plus, if they ask,
777
00:43:57,217 --> 00:44:00,262
you just say, "Sure, pal,
go save every soul in the universe
778
00:44:00,346 --> 00:44:01,180
and then we got a deal."
779
00:44:01,263 --> 00:44:02,723
And think about it this way,
780
00:44:02,806 --> 00:44:08,979
if you do this, you'll never have to
hear from any of us again ever again.
781
00:44:09,063 --> 00:44:10,064
Ooh.
782
00:44:11,023 --> 00:44:13,484
Now that is tempting,
'cause y'all are annoying.
783
00:44:13,567 --> 00:44:17,071
I mean, you did save the universe and all,
but your tone...
784
00:44:17,154 --> 00:44:18,155
It's your tone.
785
00:44:18,238 --> 00:44:19,281
I know.
786
00:44:20,866 --> 00:44:23,786
Michael, come on in.
787
00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:33,712
All my Earth stuff!
788
00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:35,839
Oh!
789
00:44:35,923 --> 00:44:38,092
My old bowling ball.
790
00:44:38,175 --> 00:44:39,593
Oh!
791
00:44:39,677 --> 00:44:41,428
Hi, paper clips!
792
00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:43,055
What prompted all this?
793
00:44:43,138 --> 00:44:45,099
You know, it took me a while
to figure it out.
794
00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:49,770
But earlier when you were walking back
and forth through the door, it hit me.
795
00:44:49,853 --> 00:44:54,108
You will never be at peace until
you get the one thing you truly want.
796
00:44:57,152 --> 00:45:00,447
I'm... I'm gonna be...
797
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:02,116
A real boy, Pinocchio.
798
00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:04,952
The Judge gave me the power
to make you an actual human.
799
00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:07,204
Goodbye, fire squid.
800
00:45:07,287 --> 00:45:09,164
Hello, silver fox.
801
00:45:09,998 --> 00:45:13,085
Oh, Eleanor! Oh, my goodness!
802
00:45:13,168 --> 00:45:14,795
Now, you need to be sure about this.
803
00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:17,673
You're gonna live down there for, like...
804
00:45:17,756 --> 00:45:20,008
some amount of time,
you'll die, really die,
805
00:45:20,092 --> 00:45:23,512
then you'll enter an afterlife test,
be judged on what you did, the whole deal.
806
00:45:23,595 --> 00:45:25,973
At least, so we think.
807
00:45:26,056 --> 00:45:29,059
While you're down there,
this entire system could be changed.
808
00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:31,812
Shawn might launch a coup.
Someone could design a whole new system.
809
00:45:31,895 --> 00:45:35,566
You won't really know
what's gonna happen to you.
810
00:45:36,483 --> 00:45:38,318
That's what makes it special.
811
00:45:38,402 --> 00:45:42,990
I won't exactly know
what's going to happen after I die.
812
00:45:43,699 --> 00:45:45,451
Nothing more human than that.
813
00:45:47,077 --> 00:45:49,830
Besides texting people
that you're five minutes away
814
00:45:49,913 --> 00:45:51,623
when you haven't even left the house.
815
00:45:54,543 --> 00:45:58,046
Thank you, Eleanor. Thank you.
816
00:46:01,049 --> 00:46:02,551
You're very welcome.
817
00:46:06,513 --> 00:46:10,309
- Hey, Mike. Where you headed today?
- Earth, actually.
818
00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:13,270
Oh! Been a while.
Here's the return clicker.
819
00:46:13,353 --> 00:46:15,647
No need. One-way trip.
820
00:46:16,648 --> 00:46:17,733
Wow.
821
00:46:18,901 --> 00:46:20,068
Okay.
822
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:22,154
Good luck.
823
00:46:22,237 --> 00:46:23,822
Thank you.
824
00:46:23,906 --> 00:46:25,616
- I have something for you.
- Uh-huh.
825
00:46:31,288 --> 00:46:32,122
He's real!
826
00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:35,167
It's real. He's a real frog!
827
00:46:35,250 --> 00:46:37,252
-Yes, it sure is.
828
00:46:38,670 --> 00:46:39,588
Thank you.
829
00:46:39,671 --> 00:46:43,175
You know what?
I got the perfect name for him...
830
00:46:45,260 --> 00:46:46,512
Mr. Jumpy Legs.
831
00:46:47,387 --> 00:46:48,722
Oh.
832
00:46:48,805 --> 00:46:49,765
I thought you were gonna...
833
00:46:50,807 --> 00:46:51,892
Never mind.
834
00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:55,229
Hello, Mr. Jumpy Legs.
835
00:46:55,896 --> 00:47:01,068
Okay, so here's your driver's license
and your social security card.
836
00:47:01,151 --> 00:47:02,486
I set up a bank account for you.
837
00:47:02,569 --> 00:47:04,488
There's enough money in there
so you don't starve,
838
00:47:04,571 --> 00:47:06,865
but not so much
that you become an entitled jerk.
839
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,076
Thank you, Janet.
840
00:47:09,159 --> 00:47:11,203
Make a doctor's appointment
as soon as you get down there.
841
00:47:11,286 --> 00:47:14,081
And no salty food. You have to keep
your blood pressure down.
842
00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:15,791
You have blood now.
843
00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:18,418
I'll be fine. I'll be okay.
844
00:47:19,211 --> 00:47:21,046
I know. I just worry.
845
00:47:25,175 --> 00:47:26,677
I'll see you again, you know.
846
00:47:27,970 --> 00:47:29,429
I'll see you when I get back.
847
00:47:31,890 --> 00:47:32,933
Okay.
848
00:47:39,356 --> 00:47:43,110
If you rent a car, don't pay
for the insurance, it's a scam. Okay.
849
00:47:53,996 --> 00:47:55,372
Man, it's hot.
850
00:47:57,124 --> 00:47:59,376
But it's a dry heat.
851
00:48:03,755 --> 00:48:07,884
So, as I mentioned before, you can sit
on this bench as long as you want.
852
00:48:09,011 --> 00:48:11,430
And whenever you're ready,
you just walk through.
853
00:48:12,931 --> 00:48:14,725
Care to join me for a bit?
854
00:48:19,605 --> 00:48:20,439
Margarita?
855
00:48:21,231 --> 00:48:22,065
Always.
856
00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:33,327
Okay, top three moments
of your not-life with us. Go.
857
00:48:33,910 --> 00:48:38,040
You telling us that we should try
to help other people on Earth.
858
00:48:38,123 --> 00:48:41,001
The moment that
we all got into the Good Place for real.
859
00:48:41,084 --> 00:48:45,756
And then it's an 8-million-way tie
of every time Jason and I kissed.
860
00:48:45,839 --> 00:48:46,673
He was a really good kisser.
861
00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:48,091
I bet he was.
862
00:48:50,844 --> 00:48:52,137
I wonder how Michael's doing?
863
00:48:52,846 --> 00:48:56,099
I assume he's doing the same
as every human.
864
00:48:56,183 --> 00:48:58,143
Three, two, one...
865
00:48:58,226 --> 00:48:59,436
Some good days.
866
00:48:59,519 --> 00:49:01,438
Happy New Year!
867
00:49:01,521 --> 00:49:03,357
Some bad days.
868
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:05,525
She's gonna be okay.
869
00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:07,903
This city has really good hospitals.
870
00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:10,781
He's got a few friends.
871
00:49:10,864 --> 00:49:14,785
You're such a good boy, Jason.
Such a good boy.
872
00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:18,080
A few people he can't stand.
873
00:49:18,163 --> 00:49:19,164
Oh...
874
00:49:22,501 --> 00:49:25,587
He's learning some things,
all by himself.
875
00:49:29,007 --> 00:49:32,177
And, hopefully, learning to ask for help
when he needs it.
876
00:49:33,595 --> 00:49:35,639
Try like this. Fingers this way.
877
00:49:40,477 --> 00:49:44,731
You have no idea how long I've been trying
to figure that out.
878
00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:48,568
Well, everybody needs a teacher.
So, do it again.
879
00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:51,947
He's messing up,
and trying again, and messing up again,
880
00:49:52,030 --> 00:49:55,909
and then getting things wrong,
and then trying to make them right.
881
00:49:55,992 --> 00:49:58,370
That's what everyone does.
882
00:49:58,453 --> 00:50:00,789
- To Michael.
- To Michael.
883
00:50:00,872 --> 00:50:02,082
Mmm.
884
00:50:04,084 --> 00:50:06,169
What do you think happens
when people walk through the door?
885
00:50:06,753 --> 00:50:09,756
It's the only thing in the universe
I don't know.
886
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:11,299
I don't know, either.
887
00:50:12,551 --> 00:50:14,511
The wave returns to the ocean.
888
00:50:15,679 --> 00:50:20,225
What the ocean does with the water
after that is anyone's guess.
889
00:50:21,017 --> 00:50:25,605
But as a very wise not-robot once told me,
890
00:50:26,189 --> 00:50:27,858
"The true joy is in the mystery."
891
00:50:29,735 --> 00:50:31,987
Do you mind
if I stay here until you're gone?
892
00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:34,448
Only if you say that thing I taught you.
893
00:50:36,241 --> 00:50:40,662
I hate to see you walk through
the final door at the edge of existence,
894
00:50:40,746 --> 00:50:42,706
but I love to watch you leave.
895
00:50:42,789 --> 00:50:43,623
There we go.
896
00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:54,945
Hey, this was delivered to my building
by mistake. I think it's yours.
897
00:51:55,028 --> 00:51:57,280
- Oh. Hey, thanks so much.
- Mmm-hmm.
898
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:01,201
Oh, wow! I think I know what this is.
899
00:52:04,120 --> 00:52:06,456
Oh, my. Oh, my.
900
00:52:07,249 --> 00:52:13,255
Look at that. Oh, thank you.
Thank you so very, very much!
901
00:52:13,338 --> 00:52:15,715
Yeah, no problem. Take it easy.
902
00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:17,008
I'll do you one better.
903
00:52:18,969 --> 00:52:23,640
I'll say this to you, my friend,
with all the love in my heart,
904
00:52:23,723 --> 00:52:26,434
and all the wisdom of the universe.
905
00:52:28,395 --> 00:52:29,855
Take it sleazy.
906
00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:34,693
All right.
907
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:54,004
♪ Riding on a groovy wave of love ♪
908
00:52:54,087 --> 00:52:56,715
♪ I'm going for a cosmic ride ♪
909
00:52:58,091 --> 00:53:01,511
♪ Surf the freaky purple vibes of love ♪
910
00:53:01,595 --> 00:53:04,848
♪ The marshmallow cat is inside ♪
911
00:53:08,226 --> 00:53:10,103
♪ Hey, hey ♪
912
00:53:11,730 --> 00:53:13,565
♪ Hey, hey ♪
913
00:53:14,816 --> 00:53:19,237
♪ We're gonna find a way back to the sun ♪
914
00:53:20,614 --> 00:53:22,574
♪ Back to the... ♪