1
00:00:02,128 --> 00:00:03,398
[dramatic music]
2
00:00:03,422 --> 00:00:05,197
WOLF: Previously
on Future Man ...
3
00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:07,072
I think we're looking
at temporal decay.
4
00:00:07,096 --> 00:00:08,450
It's like a black hole,
but for time.
5
00:00:08,474 --> 00:00:09,661
Time overlapping,
6
00:00:09,685 --> 00:00:11,456
future and past
existing simultaneously.
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00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:13,086
It's the source
of all our anomalies,
8
00:00:13,110 --> 00:00:14,128
and it's getting bigger.
9
00:00:14,152 --> 00:00:15,380
Eventually, it'll get so big,
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00:00:15,404 --> 00:00:16,721
it'll suck
every timeline into it.
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‐ Another you saved me.
He called himself J1.
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00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:21,351
JOSH: Nut‐face.
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00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:22,687
You were supposed
to take me home.
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‐ The home I promised you
is real, Josh.
15
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A refuge off the grid,
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00:00:25,803 --> 00:00:27,489
beyond the reach
of the time constables.
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00:00:27,513 --> 00:00:29,450
It's called Haven.
18
00:00:29,474 --> 00:00:31,371
Enter these coordinates.
‐ They're in.
19
00:00:31,395 --> 00:00:32,791
BIN LADEN:
So now press the button.
20
00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:34,503
Take us to Haven.
‐ So what do you want from me?
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00:00:34,527 --> 00:00:35,924
‐ Deliver me Haven,
I'll deliver you
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00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:38,763
to the timeline of your choice,
records wiped clean.
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00:00:38,787 --> 00:00:41,266
All you have to do
is get to Haven,
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00:00:41,290 --> 00:00:43,228
activate those devices.
25
00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,399
‐ Can you do a full
memory wipe thing on me?
26
00:00:45,423 --> 00:00:46,610
So I can forget everything
27
00:00:46,634 --> 00:00:48,121
that's happened to me
since I left home?
28
00:00:48,145 --> 00:00:50,450
TIGER: You just want to
erase us from your entire life?
29
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[weapon whirs]
30
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[explosion]
31
00:00:54,190 --> 00:00:56,588
‐ Is this Haven?
‐ No, it's Iowa.
32
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‐ [sighs] Fucking bin Laden.
33
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[ominous music]
34
00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:04,980
TIGER: Is that Haven?
35
00:01:05,004 --> 00:01:06,357
JOSH: No.
36
00:01:06,381 --> 00:01:08,721
That's just something happening
that shouldn't be.
37
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:11,577
‐ Yeah, you know,
come to think of it,
38
00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:15,088
an ice cream cart did fall
on me in the 17th century.
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00:01:15,112 --> 00:01:18,507
JOSH: Wait, I saw
a yield sign there.
40
00:01:18,531 --> 00:01:22,389
Guys, did we break time?
41
00:01:22,413 --> 00:01:23,423
‐ Hey.
42
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,567
Hey, you did nothing.
43
00:01:27,591 --> 00:01:31,867
If anyone broke time,
it was entirely us.
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TIGER:
So where's all the time scum?
45
00:01:35,941 --> 00:01:37,796
‐ I don't know.
[stammers]
46
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I think this is just Iowa State.
47
00:01:39,824 --> 00:01:41,260
I mean, think about it.
48
00:01:41,284 --> 00:01:45,812
If Haven is supposed
to exist outside of time,
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then how are we supposed
to get there using a TTD?
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00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,657
TIGER: What are we doing
in Ames, Iowa,
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00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:52,769
December 31, 1999 then?
52
00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:59,463
[music builds]
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♪ ♪
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‐ Y2K.
55
00:02:03,913 --> 00:02:05,643
Okay, at the start
of the new millennium,
56
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there was supposed to be this,
like, massive computer glitch
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that would cause
absolute global pandemonium.
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00:02:10,804 --> 00:02:13,492
But nothing happened.
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00:02:13,516 --> 00:02:17,542
Except maybe,
something did happen.
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00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:19,755
All right, this is not Haven.
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00:02:19,779 --> 00:02:21,466
But I believe that
tonight at midnight,
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something is going down
that's gonna take us there.
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‐ Wow.
Wow.
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00:02:26,876 --> 00:02:29,816
Watching you break that down
was impressive.
65
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‐ Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
66
00:02:31,218 --> 00:02:34,450
So what is our next move, boss?
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‐ Okay, look.
68
00:02:36,604 --> 00:02:39,799
You guys being fake nice to me
is not gonna change my mind
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00:02:39,823 --> 00:02:42,426
about going home
and erasing you from my memory.
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00:02:42,450 --> 00:02:44,428
‐ Then fuck you, janitor!
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00:02:44,452 --> 00:02:46,850
‐ You're garbage.
Your plan's garbage.
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‐ That's more like it.
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00:02:47,963 --> 00:02:50,317
I'm gonna go find
the computer lab.
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00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:52,615
Somewhere on this campus,
someone is up to no good
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00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,827
with a computer, and I'm going
to track them down.
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00:02:55,851 --> 00:02:58,414
[computer tones]
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[keyboard clacking]
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[electronic music]
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♪ ♪
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The student union is there
so the computer lab must be...
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WOLF: So this breakup
is really happening.
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00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,413
I'm moving on
to the second stage of grief.
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00:03:18,437 --> 00:03:20,710
Anger.
To hell with the boy.
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00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,591
Where are we going
with our one‐way time tickets?
85
00:03:22,615 --> 00:03:23,887
TIGER: Back to the sewers.
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00:03:23,911 --> 00:03:25,678
‐ You mean
the nightmare we escaped?
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00:03:25,702 --> 00:03:27,724
Those sewers?
‐ Uh, yeah.
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We're conquering heroes
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returning to slaughter
those who did us wrong.
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WOLF: Cool, cool. Related idea.
‐ Where's North?
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‐ Hmm?
‐ Cabo 1989.
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00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:38,202
Don Johnson's
40th birthday blowout.
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00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:41,417
36 hours of linen shirts,
clams on the half shell,
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00:03:41,441 --> 00:03:43,797
and enough cocaine
to kill Buddy Hackett.
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It was a helluva weekend.
Just one problem, weekends end.
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‐ Okay, so that's not really‐‐
97
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‐ Or do they?
‐ Oh, my God.
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‐ That very weekend,
I had a brainstorm
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00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:58,451
to spin a tapestry of eternal
cool, Cabo Wabo Cantina.
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‐ Wait, didn't Sammy Hagar‐‐
101
00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:03,048
‐ Shut up!
Sammy Hagar invented nothing.
102
00:04:03,072 --> 00:04:05,340
He just showed up
on Sunday morning uninvited,
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stole my favorite
Joe Camel beach towel,
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and my idea.
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He turned Cabo Wabo
into a fucking joke.
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00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:14,445
And now, we're being given
a chance to fix all that.
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TIGER:
By killing Sammy Hagar?
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00:04:15,927 --> 00:04:18,282
‐ No.
‐ Okay.
109
00:04:18,306 --> 00:04:21,163
‐ Maybe.
If there's time.
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Look.
Just picture it.
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Okay?
‐ Sure.
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‐ Toes in the summer sand.
[seagull squawks]
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Fingers gripping
a sweaty Corona.
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[bottle top pops]
Someone says,
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"Hey. Hey, guys.
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00:04:33,086 --> 00:04:35,316
Who wants
to go catch some kingfish?"
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‐ Ew.
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00:04:36,468 --> 00:04:39,074
‐ And you just pile
into a speedboat.
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00:04:39,098 --> 00:04:41,705
And...
[imitates motor revving]
120
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That's Cabo Wabo.
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JOSH: Well, you mean, like,
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like the restaurant
inside the malls, Cabo‐‐
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00:04:46,451 --> 00:04:47,633
WOLF: No.
TIGER: No, no, no.
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He's talking about
a fishing expedition.
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00:04:49,243 --> 00:04:50,973
‐ No! No.
[sighs]
126
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It's a state of mind, okay?
127
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The feeling
of a fishing expedition.
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00:04:55,172 --> 00:05:00,033
The feeling of a weekend
you want to never end.
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‐ Wait, wait, wait, guys.
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This is it.
Come on, come on.
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[dramatic music]
132
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♪ ♪
133
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‐ Mm.
It's fresh.
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Shattered in haste.
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Can't be more than a day or two.
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‐ Ugh.
137
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,648
Okay.
138
00:05:36,672 --> 00:05:39,342
What were you after?
139
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:45,081
Oh, shit.
140
00:05:45,105 --> 00:05:47,753
Guys, someone stole
a military computer.
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00:05:47,777 --> 00:05:49,256
That is never a good thing.
142
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,847
‐ Yeah, must be some kind
of mad genius hell‐bent
143
00:05:51,871 --> 00:05:54,499
on doing something
nefarious as fuck.
144
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‐ Hang on.
145
00:05:57,463 --> 00:06:00,988
Looks like we're not
the only ones
146
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:04,102
trying to figure out
what's going to happen on Y3G.
147
00:06:05,647 --> 00:06:07,919
WOLF: Time rogues.
148
00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:09,589
‐ Guys, come on.
We're gonna lose them.
149
00:06:09,613 --> 00:06:12,595
[foreboding music]
150
00:06:12,619 --> 00:06:14,056
♪ ♪
151
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,186
There.
TIGER: No, no, no.
152
00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:16,770
‐ Hey, act like you've stalked
153
00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:18,611
interdimensional time
miscreants before.
154
00:06:18,635 --> 00:06:21,488
‐ Yeah, stick
to the shadows, rook.
155
00:06:21,512 --> 00:06:23,222
JOSH: Okay.
Sorry.
156
00:06:27,565 --> 00:06:29,565
‐ How do you feel
about "Beluga's Last Dive"?
157
00:06:31,489 --> 00:06:32,593
WOLF: You read my mind.
158
00:06:32,617 --> 00:06:34,179
‐ Okay, guys.
This is our last mission.
159
00:06:34,203 --> 00:06:37,520
For once, can you please tell
me what the hell that means?
160
00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:39,231
Oh, just a dead sprint.
161
00:06:39,255 --> 00:06:41,085
It has nothing
to do with belugas.
162
00:06:42,595 --> 00:06:45,661
AKSHAY: Juan Pablo,
I told you no more dudes.
163
00:06:45,685 --> 00:06:47,873
Oh.
[chuckles]
164
00:06:47,897 --> 00:06:50,169
You can stay though.
What's up?
165
00:06:50,193 --> 00:06:52,137
‐ No and never.
AKSHAY: Okay.
166
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,846
Dudes can stay if
they can answer this question.
167
00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:58,144
Who would win in a fight
between Blade and Neo?
168
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,356
‐ Oh, I got here.
I got this, guys.
169
00:07:00,380 --> 00:07:02,110
Obviously that all depends upon
170
00:07:02,134 --> 00:07:03,741
whether or not they're
inside the Matrix‐‐
171
00:07:03,765 --> 00:07:05,830
‐ God damn it,
these aren't time rogues.
172
00:07:05,854 --> 00:07:08,874
[dramatic chords]
173
00:07:08,898 --> 00:07:09,917
They're nerds.
174
00:07:09,941 --> 00:07:11,588
‐ Wolf, that is not cool.
175
00:07:11,612 --> 00:07:13,759
‐ Yeah, you're telling me.
Look at these dweebs.
176
00:07:13,783 --> 00:07:15,430
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ What's with the outfits?
177
00:07:15,454 --> 00:07:17,059
‐ Costumes for
our New Year's party.
178
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:18,769
The theme is
"The Next Millennium."
179
00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:20,689
WOLF: Oh, next time,
make the theme "Girls,"
180
00:07:20,713 --> 00:07:22,240
and maybe some will show up.
181
00:07:22,264 --> 00:07:24,614
Am I right?
182
00:07:24,638 --> 00:07:26,534
Yeah.
183
00:07:26,558 --> 00:07:28,622
JOSH: Okay, we've
still got six minutes.
184
00:07:28,646 --> 00:07:30,083
Clearly, this is a dead end,
all right?
185
00:07:30,107 --> 00:07:31,586
Let's double back
to the computer lab.
186
00:07:31,610 --> 00:07:33,757
We still have enough time.
If we scour the entire campus‐‐
187
00:07:33,781 --> 00:07:34,759
[slurping]
188
00:07:34,783 --> 00:07:36,043
Wolf!
189
00:07:37,539 --> 00:07:38,975
No.
Get down right now!
190
00:07:38,999 --> 00:07:42,107
[suspenseful music]
191
00:07:42,131 --> 00:07:43,421
‐ Come on.
192
00:07:45,303 --> 00:07:47,660
[computer beeps]
[giggles]
193
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:50,694
[electricity fluxing]
194
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:57,095
TIGER: Hm, looks like
our computer genius
195
00:07:57,119 --> 00:07:59,851
is free jacking
some serious kilojoules.
196
00:07:59,875 --> 00:08:01,521
Wolf, let's move.
197
00:08:01,545 --> 00:08:03,315
WOLF: [grunts]
198
00:08:03,339 --> 00:08:06,349
Keg's tapped.
Happy New Year, nerds.
199
00:08:08,349 --> 00:08:11,206
‐ Move, soldier.
‐ It's not my fault.
200
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:13,628
I needed to kill that keg
to teach them a lesson.
201
00:08:13,652 --> 00:08:15,622
‐ What lesson?
‐ I hate nerds.
202
00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:21,644
DICK: All right, Dick Clark
back in Times Square
203
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,024
live atop the Marriott here.
204
00:08:23,048 --> 00:08:25,276
And there's a lot of music
going on down below.
205
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,535
We've heard from Neil Diamond
and Barry Manilow.
206
00:08:27,559 --> 00:08:29,242
Later on, Barbra Streisand.
207
00:08:29,266 --> 00:08:32,583
And this is the place to be.
[grill sizzles]
208
00:08:32,607 --> 00:08:33,919
You know, each night,
209
00:08:33,943 --> 00:08:36,846
6 million volts
of electricity are shoved...
210
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:40,014
‐ Oh, that's a lot of juice.
JOSH: This has got to be it.
211
00:08:40,038 --> 00:08:41,099
TIGER: This way.
212
00:08:41,123 --> 00:08:42,603
DICK:
In one minute,
213
00:08:42,627 --> 00:08:44,523
the ball will drop
and you will see pandemonium.
214
00:08:44,547 --> 00:08:46,611
[continuing indistinctly]
215
00:08:46,635 --> 00:08:48,197
‐ Come on.
216
00:08:48,221 --> 00:08:50,577
Yes, yes, yes.
217
00:08:50,601 --> 00:08:52,191
Shit.
218
00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:54,794
JOSH: Guys, we're not
gonna make it.
219
00:08:54,818 --> 00:08:56,714
‐ Yes, we are.
We're going back to the sewer.
220
00:08:56,738 --> 00:08:58,300
We're so close, I can taste it.
221
00:08:58,324 --> 00:09:00,140
‐ I have not signed off on that.
222
00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,808
DICK: Drop 30 seconds.
30!
223
00:09:01,832 --> 00:09:05,857
Glittering and showing off...
224
00:09:05,881 --> 00:09:07,778
Get close to somebody you love.
225
00:09:07,802 --> 00:09:09,740
‐ You were serious
about that Mexico thing?
226
00:09:09,764 --> 00:09:12,041
‐ It's called Cabo Wabo, and
I've never been more serious
227
00:09:12,065 --> 00:09:14,416
about anything
in my entire life!
228
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:18,048
DICK: You hear that sound?
They know it's gonna happen.
229
00:09:18,072 --> 00:09:20,179
Push the button, Mayor.
Push the button.
230
00:09:20,203 --> 00:09:22,600
Get set.
9, 8...
231
00:09:22,624 --> 00:09:25,190
‐ This is it.
It's gonna fix everything.
232
00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:26,488
‐ This will fix everything.
233
00:09:26,512 --> 00:09:29,864
DICK: Four, three, two, one.
234
00:09:29,888 --> 00:09:33,162
[electricity whirs and bursts]
235
00:09:33,186 --> 00:09:34,999
2000.
[electricity whirs]
236
00:09:35,023 --> 00:09:38,005
[ominous slow‐motion music]
237
00:09:38,029 --> 00:09:43,850
♪ ♪
238
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,689
‐ [distorted voice] Cabo Wabo.
239
00:09:46,713 --> 00:09:49,277
‐ [distorted voice] Sewer.
240
00:09:49,301 --> 00:09:51,931
‐ [distorted voice, echoes]
What is happening?
241
00:09:56,107 --> 00:09:58,003
[Wolf groaning]
242
00:09:58,027 --> 00:09:59,947
[Josh coughing]
243
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:05,142
‐ It felt like my skin
folded inside out.
244
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,938
‐ Did Jesus just wave to me?
245
00:10:06,962 --> 00:10:08,733
‐ All right, calm down.
246
00:10:08,757 --> 00:10:10,236
Act like you've been
in a vortex before.
247
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:13,242
[ambient music]
248
00:10:13,266 --> 00:10:14,745
♪ ♪
249
00:10:14,769 --> 00:10:16,999
‐ Is this Haven?
250
00:10:17,023 --> 00:10:20,549
JOSH: Well, it better be.
TTD's melted.
251
00:10:20,573 --> 00:10:21,884
‐ Okay.
252
00:10:21,908 --> 00:10:23,220
That means these cubes
just became
253
00:10:23,244 --> 00:10:25,464
our only way out
of this fog dumpster.
254
00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:29,775
JOSH: Oh, well.
255
00:10:29,799 --> 00:10:32,576
Either we made it,
or that is one big coincidence.
256
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,927
♪ ♪
257
00:10:38,817 --> 00:10:39,920
[dramatic music]
258
00:10:39,944 --> 00:10:41,637
‐ Okay, everyone knows
the mission.
259
00:10:41,661 --> 00:10:43,887
We use the cubes,
we map out a perimeter,
260
00:10:43,911 --> 00:10:45,517
and find the center point.
261
00:10:45,541 --> 00:10:47,856
Then we merge the cubes,
activate the beacon,
262
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,107
summon Susan, we go home.
263
00:10:50,131 --> 00:10:53,030
Let's start with the perimeter.
Come on.
264
00:10:53,054 --> 00:10:55,484
[distorted tones]
265
00:10:58,272 --> 00:11:00,461
No.
Okay, try this way.
266
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,485
[distorted tones]
267
00:11:04,619 --> 00:11:06,181
‐ Okay.
268
00:11:06,205 --> 00:11:10,439
So safe to say we're looking at
a bit of wonky perimeter here.
269
00:11:10,463 --> 00:11:11,950
‐ Okay.
To the center.
270
00:11:11,974 --> 00:11:14,949
[ambient music]
271
00:11:14,973 --> 00:11:21,993
♪ ♪
272
00:11:25,243 --> 00:11:27,390
All right.
There's a fork in the road.
273
00:11:27,414 --> 00:11:29,562
Let's split up.
Watch your six.
274
00:11:29,586 --> 00:11:33,235
You run into anyone, get
answers by any means necessary.
275
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:39,247
♪ ♪
276
00:11:39,271 --> 00:11:40,731
Yahtzee.
277
00:11:44,197 --> 00:11:45,969
WOLF: It's not literally
a wet sarong.
278
00:11:45,993 --> 00:11:49,267
It's the vibe of a wet sarong.
279
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:52,486
‐ Okay, but is there guacamole
like at the real one, or‐‐
280
00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:54,945
‐ What I'm describing is
the real Cabo Wabo.
281
00:11:54,969 --> 00:11:57,826
It just... you know what?
I feel bad for you.
282
00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,957
You're gonna be living
your C minus life
283
00:11:59,981 --> 00:12:03,504
while I'm A plus‐ing it up
with Busey and the boys.
284
00:12:03,528 --> 00:12:06,677
Uh‐oh.
Time scum, 12:00.
285
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:09,223
And he's a tall drink of water.
286
00:12:09,247 --> 00:12:11,917
You take out his shins.
I'll go high.
287
00:12:16,721 --> 00:12:20,037
[patriotic music]
288
00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:23,281
‐ Do mine eyes deceive me?
289
00:12:26,031 --> 00:12:29,411
‐ Abraham Lincoln?
‐ Joshua Futturman.
290
00:12:33,630 --> 00:12:36,612
[hopeful music]
291
00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:43,646
♪ ♪
292
00:12:44,986 --> 00:12:48,427
LINCOLN: I am
so happy to have you back.
293
00:12:48,451 --> 00:12:51,057
The others will rejoice.
294
00:12:51,081 --> 00:12:53,398
JOSH: The others?
[indistinct chatter]
295
00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:57,487
‐ Everybody, look who's here.
296
00:12:57,511 --> 00:12:59,783
[crowd murmuring]
297
00:12:59,807 --> 00:13:02,664
‐ Josh.
‐ Josh.
298
00:13:02,688 --> 00:13:04,459
JAMES:
I can't believe you're alive.
299
00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:06,800
JOSH: I can't believe
you're alive, James Dean.
300
00:13:06,824 --> 00:13:09,469
MARILYN: It's you.
It's really you.
301
00:13:09,493 --> 00:13:10,889
JOSH: Oh.
Marilyn Monroe.
302
00:13:10,913 --> 00:13:14,312
‐ Josh, you're back.
JOSH: And Martin Luther King?
303
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:17,527
KING: Finally.
One of my dreams came true.
304
00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:22,286
JOSH: How is this even...
What the fuck?
305
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:23,627
LINCOLN:
And yes, look.
306
00:13:23,651 --> 00:13:25,752
We remembered you.
307
00:13:25,776 --> 00:13:27,881
And lo, he arrived, a savior,
308
00:13:27,905 --> 00:13:30,762
whisked in on wings
of time unknown.
309
00:13:30,786 --> 00:13:32,766
He foretold of certain doom,
310
00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:36,231
all of us destined to die,
too young, too soon.
311
00:13:36,255 --> 00:13:38,151
Because of his mighty deeds,
312
00:13:38,175 --> 00:13:40,824
we hath not perished
from this Earth.
313
00:13:40,848 --> 00:13:42,243
He called himself...
314
00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:45,249
[suspenseful music]
315
00:13:45,273 --> 00:13:46,836
♪ ♪
316
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,255
Future Man.
317
00:13:48,279 --> 00:13:50,175
‐ This is bad.
318
00:13:50,199 --> 00:13:51,869
VAN GOGH: [squeaks]
319
00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:55,060
[mutters softly]
320
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,772
JOSH: Oh, van Gogh, I...
321
00:13:56,796 --> 00:13:58,484
[crowd murmuring]
322
00:13:58,508 --> 00:14:01,074
‐ Van Gogh doesn't handle
criticism very well.
323
00:14:01,098 --> 00:14:02,492
‐ Oh, don't coddle him.
324
00:14:02,516 --> 00:14:04,163
Constructive feedback's
the only way
325
00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:05,455
he'll grow as an artist.
326
00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:06,625
JESUS CHRIST:
Is it true?
327
00:14:06,649 --> 00:14:07,836
[Marilyn gasps]
328
00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:10,382
[spirited music]
329
00:14:10,406 --> 00:14:12,469
[gasping]
330
00:14:12,493 --> 00:14:16,673
Our savior back from the dead.
331
00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:22,323
[suspenseful music]
332
00:14:22,347 --> 00:14:24,368
♪ ♪
333
00:14:24,392 --> 00:14:25,997
‐ [stammers]
334
00:14:26,021 --> 00:14:27,781
One second, please.
335
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,138
[exhales]
336
00:14:34,162 --> 00:14:35,646
‐ Get your shit together.
337
00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:37,394
You're wilting
under the spotlight.
338
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,190
‐ This is just so fucked, man.
339
00:14:39,214 --> 00:14:42,446
‐ Oh, that it is.
I mean, you saved van Gogh.
340
00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:44,701
What about Basquiat?
JOSH: Who?
341
00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:47,373
No, they think
that I'm Nut‐Face Josh
342
00:14:47,397 --> 00:14:49,126
with his savior complex
and everything.
343
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:50,797
He just had to go
and save Jesus.
344
00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:52,759
And why wait
until he's on the cross?
345
00:14:52,783 --> 00:14:54,470
Wouldn't it be
a much better extraction point
346
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:55,601
to get him at the Last Supper?
347
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:56,892
‐ Noted.
Look.
348
00:14:56,916 --> 00:14:58,773
Let's just assess
our sitch here.
349
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:00,942
Another version of you
Magic School Bussed
350
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:03,572
a top‐notch, eclectic group
of super celebs
351
00:15:03,596 --> 00:15:06,787
to what appears to be
a totally functional utopia.
352
00:15:06,811 --> 00:15:10,168
I say we jump in that Jacuzzi
for a while,
353
00:15:10,192 --> 00:15:12,131
and see how the water feels.
354
00:15:12,155 --> 00:15:13,466
JOSH: No, no, no.
All right?
355
00:15:13,490 --> 00:15:15,137
We're getting out of here,
we're going home.
356
00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:17,687
I wanna see my family,
and this is just too weird.
357
00:15:17,711 --> 00:15:20,315
‐ Call me crazy,
but a room full of A‐listers
358
00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:23,445
who wanna slob your knob is
maybe just a little bit better
359
00:15:23,469 --> 00:15:24,906
than living at home
with your parents.
360
00:15:24,930 --> 00:15:26,284
‐ No, no.
361
00:15:26,308 --> 00:15:28,329
I can't stay here pretending
to be the other Josh.
362
00:15:28,353 --> 00:15:29,336
Okay?
That's wrong‐‐
363
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,626
‐ All I'm saying is,
364
00:15:30,650 --> 00:15:32,630
this isn't the hell
Susan advertised it to be.
365
00:15:32,654 --> 00:15:34,179
Plus, you've got status here.
366
00:15:34,203 --> 00:15:36,766
Let's use that to get
a proper lay of the land.
367
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:38,976
And when the heat of
the spotlight starts to burn,
368
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,730
I step in.
369
00:15:40,754 --> 00:15:43,359
I've already got
a good base tan.
370
00:15:43,383 --> 00:15:44,946
‐ Hmm.
371
00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:48,956
I guess, you know, hob‐knobbing
it with a bunch of my heroes
372
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:52,504
in a gorgeous setting isn't the
worst thing I could think of.
373
00:15:52,528 --> 00:15:55,383
WOLF: Mm‐hmm.
Now you get it, my son.
374
00:15:55,407 --> 00:15:57,407
That's Cabo Wabo.
375
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:02,092
[crowd murmuring, shushing]
376
00:16:03,883 --> 00:16:07,700
‐ All right, okay, uh,
377
00:16:07,724 --> 00:16:08,953
What did I miss?
378
00:16:08,977 --> 00:16:10,873
[cheering]
‐ Ah! Back again!
379
00:16:10,897 --> 00:16:13,796
‐ Okay now!
‐ Whoo!
380
00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:15,410
‐ Yeah.
381
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:20,100
‐ You know who's gonna
freak out the most?
382
00:16:20,124 --> 00:16:21,227
Gandhi.
383
00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:22,856
[both grunt]
384
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,862
[meditation music]
385
00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:30,120
‐ I'm gonna hurt you, Gandhi.
I am gonna hurt you real bad.
386
00:16:30,144 --> 00:16:33,126
So stop bullshitting,
and start talking.
387
00:16:33,150 --> 00:16:35,338
GANDHI: There is
no starting or stopping.
388
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:38,804
Those are conventions
of another world.
389
00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:41,810
‐ All righty, quit yapping
in circles, Four Eyes.
390
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:45,275
I need intel on your perimeter,
your defenses,
391
00:16:45,299 --> 00:16:47,406
and what kind of weapons
I'm dealing with.
392
00:16:47,430 --> 00:16:49,910
GANDHI:
You seek to bind the boundless.
393
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:51,788
‐ I see.
[imitates Gandhi]
394
00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:54,589
Stop writing fucking fortune
cookies and give me answers.
395
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,422
‐ If it's answers you seek,
396
00:16:56,446 --> 00:16:59,220
you must go
to the enchanted meadow.
397
00:16:59,244 --> 00:17:02,384
‐ [mockingly] Great.
Was that so hard?
398
00:17:03,711 --> 00:17:05,148
Who's up there?
Hmm?
399
00:17:05,172 --> 00:17:07,319
You walking me into a trap?
Who's gonna enchant me?
400
00:17:07,343 --> 00:17:09,450
GANDHI:
The greatest of all time.
401
00:17:09,474 --> 00:17:11,285
‐ Okay.
402
00:17:11,309 --> 00:17:14,041
Fuck you,
you stretched out baby.
403
00:17:14,065 --> 00:17:16,546
You know what?
How about this, huh?
404
00:17:16,570 --> 00:17:18,634
What about this?
Oh.
405
00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:20,658
[glasses clatter]
406
00:17:22,164 --> 00:17:25,397
JOSH: So Tupac and Biggie
are friends?
407
00:17:25,421 --> 00:17:27,150
‐ They formed a union
408
00:17:27,174 --> 00:17:30,788
that has so far yielded
three revolutionary mix tapes.
409
00:17:30,812 --> 00:17:33,583
‐ Buddy, Ritchie.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
410
00:17:33,607 --> 00:17:37,212
So what do you three‐chord
gunslingers get up to at night?
411
00:17:37,236 --> 00:17:38,423
‐ [chuckles]
412
00:17:38,447 --> 00:17:40,720
There is no night here,
so not much.
413
00:17:40,744 --> 00:17:41,847
‐ Right, right.
414
00:17:41,871 --> 00:17:44,268
But you know,
what's the scene like?
415
00:17:44,292 --> 00:17:46,399
‐ Now that Josh is back,
we'll probably jam a little.
416
00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:47,817
[chuckles]
‐ That's right, man.
417
00:17:47,841 --> 00:17:51,240
‐ Oh, you know, I've been known
to noodle on the ol' axe.
418
00:17:51,264 --> 00:17:53,831
‐ Well, no.
Guitar is kind of my thing.
419
00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,546
‐ Yeah, that's cool.
That's cool.
420
00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:58,505
It's probably best
if I just hang back on tambo.
421
00:17:58,529 --> 00:18:00,806
‐ I guess
you could play tambourine,
422
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,705
but you'd have
to take it from Anne.
423
00:18:07,088 --> 00:18:08,942
WOLF:
Anne Frank?
424
00:18:08,966 --> 00:18:11,405
Yeah, I should probably
let her keep it.
425
00:18:11,429 --> 00:18:13,827
She could use the win.
426
00:18:13,851 --> 00:18:16,374
Buddy?
Ritchie?
427
00:18:16,398 --> 00:18:18,461
The smell of sun tan oil,
428
00:18:18,485 --> 00:18:21,551
lingering taste of tequila
and lime on your tongue,
429
00:18:21,575 --> 00:18:23,388
bathtub‐warm seawater
430
00:18:23,412 --> 00:18:27,229
gently tugging at your
Puka shell ankle bracelet.
431
00:18:27,253 --> 00:18:30,276
‐ So a beach?
432
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,740
‐ No.
Come on, James Dean.
433
00:18:32,764 --> 00:18:36,038
Calling JFK Jr. my nemesis
is too strong.
434
00:18:36,062 --> 00:18:38,042
Frenemy?
Not strong enough.
435
00:18:38,066 --> 00:18:40,173
Point is, you fucked his dad.
I knew the son.
436
00:18:40,197 --> 00:18:41,591
Let's dish.
437
00:18:41,615 --> 00:18:44,931
‐ Your bravado
hides a deep sadness.
438
00:18:44,955 --> 00:18:48,020
WOLF: Well, yeah?
What are you trying to hide?
439
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,398
Norma Jean?
440
00:18:49,422 --> 00:18:51,653
‐ Hey, Wolf?
A word.
441
00:18:51,677 --> 00:18:55,410
‐ Oh, finally.
Somebody on my level.
442
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,131
What can I do you for, JC?
443
00:18:57,155 --> 00:19:00,128
‐ You're seated
at the right hand of Josh.
444
00:19:00,152 --> 00:19:02,259
How did you find the light
of his favor
445
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:03,951
and become his apostle?
446
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:08,080
‐ Oh, fuck this place.
447
00:19:10,924 --> 00:19:13,906
[birds twittering]
448
00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:16,912
[soft music]
449
00:19:16,936 --> 00:19:23,946
♪ ♪
450
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:41,545
‐ Yeah, yeah, greatest
of all time.
451
00:19:41,569 --> 00:19:43,359
That bald fuck.
452
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:46,763
Okay.
453
00:19:46,787 --> 00:19:49,727
‐ What's going on here?
Something's off.
454
00:19:49,751 --> 00:19:53,171
Huh, maybe this nerd house
will have some answers.
455
00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:59,246
[mysterious music]
456
00:19:59,270 --> 00:20:06,280
♪ ♪
457
00:20:07,746 --> 00:20:12,022
Joan of Arc.
Vincent van Gogh.
458
00:20:12,046 --> 00:20:15,386
Jesus.
Buddy Holly.
459
00:20:17,682 --> 00:20:19,499
I wonder if this tome
holds a secret
460
00:20:19,523 --> 00:20:21,708
to why you're such a dick.
461
00:20:21,732 --> 00:20:28,597
♪ ♪
462
00:20:28,621 --> 00:20:30,726
"There's no night, only day.
463
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,777
I should have got
on that plane."
464
00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:36,796
[groans]
Buddy, where is the chorus?
465
00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:52,645
Oh.
466
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:55,693
[laughs]
Okay, great.
467
00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:56,987
[exhales]
468
00:20:57,011 --> 00:20:59,351
And I was starting
to worry I was the problem.
469
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:10,791
‐ I traveled through time.
470
00:21:13,586 --> 00:21:17,466
A hero.
A humble janitor.
471
00:21:19,263 --> 00:21:23,563
And you treat me like a dog?
472
00:21:24,858 --> 00:21:29,176
I will not be
chained and muzzled.
473
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,596
I will not be stopped!
474
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:32,348
‐ He's pushing.
475
00:21:32,372 --> 00:21:34,771
I give him that note every time.
476
00:21:34,795 --> 00:21:38,319
JAMES: I'm a man!
Not a dog, I'm a man!
477
00:21:38,343 --> 00:21:41,283
JOSH: Okay, you know,
I gotta get some air.
478
00:21:41,307 --> 00:21:42,953
LINCOLN:
I don't blame you.
479
00:21:42,977 --> 00:21:46,357
This is the worst theater
experience I've ever had.
480
00:21:48,906 --> 00:21:52,848
JAMES: I'm a man!
Not a dog, I'm a man!
481
00:21:52,872 --> 00:21:55,604
I'm a human man!
482
00:21:55,628 --> 00:21:58,508
And you're tearing me apart!
483
00:22:01,305 --> 00:22:04,079
MARILYN: Hey, sad boy.
You okay?
484
00:22:04,103 --> 00:22:05,707
‐ Yeah.
485
00:22:05,731 --> 00:22:07,545
[somber music]
486
00:22:07,569 --> 00:22:09,659
‐ Come on, Josh.
487
00:22:13,204 --> 00:22:14,884
Talk to me.
488
00:22:18,632 --> 00:22:20,821
‐ I'm sorry, okay?
489
00:22:20,845 --> 00:22:23,765
I misled you.
I misled all of you.
490
00:22:26,189 --> 00:22:27,877
I'm not the Josh
that saved everyone.
491
00:22:27,901 --> 00:22:31,091
Okay?
I'm from a different timeline.
492
00:22:31,115 --> 00:22:33,905
‐ That doesn't sound so bad.
493
00:22:37,461 --> 00:22:39,775
‐ No, you don't get it, okay?
494
00:22:39,799 --> 00:22:43,073
I'm not really who everyone
in there thinks that I am.
495
00:22:43,097 --> 00:22:44,704
I mean, can you understand
having to live up
496
00:22:44,728 --> 00:22:47,165
to the pressure of the fantasy
that everyone has of you?
497
00:22:47,189 --> 00:22:49,377
It's...
‐ Yes.
498
00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:50,964
‐ Oh, shit.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
499
00:22:50,988 --> 00:22:52,133
‐ Right.
500
00:22:52,157 --> 00:22:55,599
Yeah, of course, yeah.
[both laugh]
501
00:22:55,623 --> 00:22:57,898
‐ If Gandhi's gonna tell me
that a goat
502
00:22:57,922 --> 00:23:00,066
has all the answers, then
you know what I'm gonna do?
503
00:23:00,090 --> 00:23:01,656
I'm gonna slice that goat open,
504
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,659
and I'm gonna wear its entrails
like a chunky necklace.
505
00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:08,040
[soft ambient music]
506
00:23:08,064 --> 00:23:09,824
I have to kill you.
507
00:23:11,487 --> 00:23:14,287
Because it's what I do.
It's who I am.
508
00:23:15,830 --> 00:23:22,840
♪ ♪
509
00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:27,579
Isn't it?
510
00:23:27,603 --> 00:23:29,547
‐ You know, you are
the first person
511
00:23:29,571 --> 00:23:31,504
that's been nice to me
in so long.
512
00:23:31,528 --> 00:23:32,631
‐ Aw.
513
00:23:32,655 --> 00:23:33,925
‐ I mean,
you and Osama bin Laden.
514
00:23:33,949 --> 00:23:35,136
‐ Oh.
‐ But to be fair,
515
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,639
he was only being nice to me
516
00:23:36,663 --> 00:23:38,729
because he wanted something.
‐ Oh, men.
517
00:23:38,753 --> 00:23:40,028
‐ Exactly.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
518
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:42,150
‐ Exactly.
Oh, Marilyn.
519
00:23:42,174 --> 00:23:44,201
Huh. Who would've thought
we'd have so much in common?
520
00:23:44,225 --> 00:23:48,019
‐ Feeling better?
‐ I am, yeah.
521
00:23:50,273 --> 00:23:52,130
Wait, how long
have we been out here?
522
00:23:52,154 --> 00:23:55,056
I'm sure you have
better things to be doing.
523
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,430
‐ Well, I have
all the time in Haven.
524
00:23:57,454 --> 00:24:00,520
Which is none and lots.
525
00:24:00,544 --> 00:24:04,152
‐ Okay.
Anyways, thanks.
526
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:06,156
‐ It's the least I can do, Josh.
527
00:24:06,180 --> 00:24:08,035
You saved me.
528
00:24:08,059 --> 00:24:11,939
‐ Again, you know that
I'm not that same Josh, right?
529
00:24:13,570 --> 00:24:15,466
‐ I got a second chance here.
530
00:24:15,490 --> 00:24:18,540
Maybe it's time
you gave yourself one.
531
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,065
‐ Hmm.
532
00:24:23,089 --> 00:24:24,485
[footsteps approaching]
533
00:24:24,509 --> 00:24:26,697
No, no, no.
[grunting] Hey!
534
00:24:26,721 --> 00:24:28,158
I was in the middle
of something.
535
00:24:28,182 --> 00:24:30,037
‐ We gotta get back on mission.
‐ Oh, what?
536
00:24:30,061 --> 00:24:31,588
Buddy Holly wouldn't
let you play the tambo,
537
00:24:31,612 --> 00:24:33,628
and now you wanna bail?
Yeah, I saw that.
538
00:24:33,652 --> 00:24:36,466
‐ No.
Something's off here.
539
00:24:36,490 --> 00:24:38,557
I did some snooping around.
Shit ain't right.
540
00:24:38,581 --> 00:24:40,099
So let's just get you home
541
00:24:40,123 --> 00:24:42,567
to your incredibly not weird
relationship with your parents.
542
00:24:42,591 --> 00:24:44,274
‐ Well, hang on.
Slow down.
543
00:24:44,298 --> 00:24:45,904
I feel like
people here are happy.
544
00:24:45,928 --> 00:24:49,284
Maybe us destroying this place
for our own benefit is wrong.
545
00:24:49,308 --> 00:24:50,954
‐ Wait a minute.
546
00:24:50,978 --> 00:24:53,778
Was Marilyn Monroe
just hitting on you?
547
00:24:56,238 --> 00:25:00,389
JOSH: Hi.
Oh, you think?
548
00:25:00,413 --> 00:25:02,728
‐ Well that's it.
Evil lurks here.
549
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:04,648
‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
550
00:25:04,672 --> 00:25:06,069
I just figured it out.
551
00:25:06,093 --> 00:25:09,407
You can't stand for one second
not being Mr. Hot Shit.
552
00:25:09,431 --> 00:25:11,119
‐ [scoffs]
553
00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:12,877
‐ Yeah, Abraham Lincoln
was on my jock.
554
00:25:12,901 --> 00:25:15,127
James Dean was hanging
on my every word.
555
00:25:15,151 --> 00:25:17,048
‐ Ugh, nobody likes
a name‐dropper.
556
00:25:17,072 --> 00:25:19,553
‐ You are jealous.
557
00:25:19,577 --> 00:25:21,933
‐ Please, I've been jealous
of two people my whole life.
558
00:25:21,957 --> 00:25:23,686
‐ Oh, yeah.
Are you gonna drop their names?
559
00:25:23,710 --> 00:25:24,939
‐ No.
‐ Hmm.
560
00:25:24,963 --> 00:25:26,484
‐ But if I was,
561
00:25:26,508 --> 00:25:29,239
it'd be Alice Waters and
pre‐born‐again Kirk Cameron.
562
00:25:29,263 --> 00:25:32,039
Only 16 years old, and had
the whole town by the balls.
563
00:25:32,063 --> 00:25:33,498
JOSH: Yeah.
‐ Lucky son of a‐‐
564
00:25:33,522 --> 00:25:34,917
Tiger'll back me up.
565
00:25:34,941 --> 00:25:36,675
Tiger, this place is
bridge and tunnel.
566
00:25:36,699 --> 00:25:38,633
Let's bounce.
‐ No, we gotta stay longer.
567
00:25:38,657 --> 00:25:40,637
Dig deeper.
Just a few more days.
568
00:25:40,661 --> 00:25:42,766
‐ Days?
What days?
569
00:25:42,790 --> 00:25:45,525
That thing just clicks
the same second over and over.
570
00:25:45,549 --> 00:25:47,653
What about the mission?
‐ Missions evolve.
571
00:25:47,677 --> 00:25:49,697
‐ See, Wolf?
Missions evolve.
572
00:25:49,721 --> 00:25:51,578
You wanna jump in the Jacuzzi?
The water's warm.
573
00:25:51,602 --> 00:25:53,328
‐ It's only cool when I say it.
574
00:25:53,352 --> 00:25:56,376
‐ Hmm, not here it isn't.
575
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,255
Oh, Marilyn. Hey.
576
00:25:58,279 --> 00:26:00,760
Let's go get MLK...
577
00:26:00,784 --> 00:26:03,124
‐ I gotta go see a goat
about a me.
578
00:26:04,959 --> 00:26:06,981
‐ [stammers]
579
00:26:07,005 --> 00:26:10,446
I'll go back to the sewer.
Sewer's back on the table.
580
00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:11,699
[scoffs]
581
00:26:11,723 --> 00:26:14,622
There's something off
about this place.
582
00:26:14,646 --> 00:26:18,796
It's not me.
It's not me!
583
00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:21,660
[suspenseful music]