[CHAIR CREAKS]
How hurt you want him?
How far do I go?
One punch?
[KNUCKLES CRACKS]
Two?
Problem is, your dad is a big fella.
Imagine a couple of punches is just gonna make him mad.
- He's gonna fight back. - [MAN GROANS]
And his buddies will wanna help out,
but I'll need to defend myself.
- [KNUCKLES CRACK] - Things will escalate.
That's what these things do, they escalate.
And violence makes violence,
makes nothin' much at all except more violence.
- And once you start down that road... - [GUNSHOT]
- who knows where it ends. - [CRIES]
Is that what you want kid?
It doesn't mean I can't...
You know, still help out with your daddy.
I will feel bad if I go in there, again.
[WHISPERS] But I'll go anyway.
They try to run.
They're not stupid.
Where are they gonna go?
All they can do is scream, you know.
Why do I do this?
It's like
an addiction or...
love or...
[SIGHS]
Now what do you even call this?
I think,
bat shit crazy
is the Latin term.
Haven't you ever liked anything that was bad for you, Preacher
or any one?
Nothing that screams every time I walk in the room.
[SCOFFS]
Yeah I get it.
I've seen the movies. I'm the villain.
I'm the one you root against.
You know, Viola.
Sometimes, the villain has a change of heart.
And gives up her evil ways.
I think we like different movies.
I need acreage for my new plant.
So again, I'm asking for your land.
You're half the way to losing it anyways,
JJ ran the numbers.
The prospectus for Preacher Custer's church.
Give me the folder please.
I left the folder at the office.
I thought we were just getting nuggets.
I'll leave you to your numbers.
I really want that land.
You know, my daddy used to talk about you Quincannons?
He used to say there's only one thing more dangerous
than telling them "No."
That's telling them "Yes."
Your daddy was something else.
But he's gone 25 years
and this town hasn't seen anyone like him since.
Not even close.
You need to stop hurting those animals, Viola.
It's wrong.
[WHISPERS] I know.
I just don't want to.
Then you are the villain. [CLEARS THROAT]
Offer peace to the restless.
Reward the virtuous.
Set free the prisoner.
MOTHER: Did you say no 'cause he said no.
Is he-- you told him to say no?
- Cool the wrathful. - [TIRES PEELING]
[GUNSHOT]
- Avenge the innocent. - Stop!
BOY: Stop, stop.
Please, please give that back.
[BULLIES LAUGH]
Please, give that back. Please!
Please, give that back!
Come on, seriously.
Seriously... [MUMBLING]
[COWS MOOING]
Save light from the darkness.
[MOOING CONTINUES]
Retrieve those who are lost.
MAN: Murderer.
Who said that?
Who said it?
[speaking English]
[GRUNTING]
All right.
Oh, bollocks!
Well...
Sheriff Root, open up.
Bollocks!
Shite, alright.
Preacher around?
No, I guess he came to.
I'm lookin' for my son.
Well, the one with the...
...arsey face, I haven't seen him.
- What's that smell? - Oh!
- That's cookin', yep, cookin'. - Don't smell like cookin'.
No, that's because it is Irish cookin', that's why.
Yep.
You ever heard of pitch black puddin'?
Well, sausage, that's made from the blood,
shoulder, bit of fat, rind, liver of a wild pig, oats,
onion, dash of pimento, that kind of thing.
It's delicious, would you care to join?
I've eaten.
[EXHALES]
Bollocks!
Shit!
This place?
Doesn't look like a movie theater.
[CHIP CRUNCHING]
Wait here.
[SEAT SQUEAKING]
There are three possible explanations here.
Number one, John Travolta.
You know the movie where he gets his power
from a brain tumor.
Number two,
Jason Bourne.
He gets his power from a secret government agency
or in the least likely
but my favorite scenario.
You're a Jedi.
Now assuming, it's not number one.
How unbelievably stoked are we, man, huh?
[CHUCKLES]
Alright.
Not very stoked at all it might seem.
Oh, I know that look all too well.
'Cause mommy never told me magical monsters are real.
Welcome to my world, mate.
I don't want this.
Of course not.
It's gonna take a moment for you to get your head around it.
No.
I don't want this.
Now where are you goin' idiot?
I have a meeting with Emily.
It's almost three.
You're joking me, right?
I have a job to do.
Budget, outreach ideas.
- What? - Oh shit.
I haven't even come up with a reading for Ted's funeral.
Alright, let's just put a pause on all that excitement
while we work out your new super powers.
It is not a super power!
Getting people to do whatever you tell 'em
seems pretty bloody super powerful to me, Padre!
I mean spill the beaver beans, for Christ's sake.
- I don't like this. - Alright.
- I don't want this. - Alright.
I don't like this, God.
Alright, alright, listen.
Hey! It's alright.
That's it, right.
Now we're gonna slow it down.
And we're gonna work out a little bit
of who, where, what and why?
Shall we do that?
Off you go, come on now.
Good lad.
Start with something easier.
Ted's funeral, here it is.
Hard to know how many chairs 'cause it's Ted.
Any ideas yet on the reading?
And what about the remains receptacle?
You really leaving that to Cassidy
'cause I went by earlier and I had to remind him to get started on it.
It's not like you can just leave someone's remains
lying around till you get around to it.
Anyways, I'll make sure he gets it done.
I also got to call the insurance agent
get the coverage changed on the church van.
Cassidy is driving it around town...
You really are one of the good guys.
[NO AUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[INDISTINCT MUFFLED VOICE]
[IRISH ACCENT] Well, come on and imagine the possibilities, Padre.
- What? - I said and thank you for listening.
You're good at this, I'm not surprised.
I always knew you had a gift, but...
Whole town's gonna know too.
And once the word really starts to spread, watch out.
[DOOR CLANGING]
[HEAVY BREATHING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[PANTING]
Why did you order it then?
'Cause I thought I would like it, obviously.
But I am so sick of you giving me that look!
I'm sick of you making me give it.
Be nice!
I'm sorry I said that.
I'm sorry too.
So I told Charlie he could have two hours of screen time
if he finishes homework by 8:00.
Which was her best judgment.
But then he said,
"one hour of screen time after dinner..."
Which was my best judgment.
So you've put us in a tough spot here, Preacher.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Have I?
Remember the other day you told us
to use our best judgment--
Oh, yes, well, of course.
Which was great advice. Thank you.
But I think maybe that ended up confusing things at home.
A little.
Because when you think about it the whole idea of judgment...
- It's sort of subjective. - [MUFFLED MALE VOICE]
[FEMALE MUFFLED VOICE] Just take that story...
[INDISTINCT MUFFLED MALE VOICE]
Do you hear that?
WIFE: What?
[INDISTINCT MALE VOICE CONTINUES]
- CHARLIE: I don't hear-- - Shh!
You don't hear it...
...the voices?
Voices?
[INDISTINCT MALE VOICE CONTINUES]
- [MALE VOICE IN RADIO] - Ah!
Sorry about that! [CLEARS THROAT]
Now, here's what I think.
I'm sorry for the confusion.
Why don't you try a point-based system?
One point equals one hour of screen time.
And if he does the work before dinner,
he gets two points.
After dinner, one point.
- Oh! - Yeah.
[GLASS CLANGS]
[MUFFLED MAN'S VOICE] Not sure if he sees that thing.
Mostly welfare.
So what does he take home?
What?
[MUFFLED MAN'S VOICE] We don't really have the resources here at the church.
Nothin'.
Dishes don't do themselves, do they?
I'll walk you out.
I've been meaning to ask you about them government boys
who came to you to Flavor Station the other night.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah.
Oh.
What did they wanna talk to you about?
Oh, they told me I'm not allowed to say.
About that escaped lunatic?
Can't say, Sheriff.
You know, government stuff.
Hmm.
Afraid the universe is a state-top thing.
Yeah, they said somethin' similar to me.
Lions and tigers and bears.
I was just bein' a nervous dad there about Eugene.
Ever since his incident, you know, me and his mom,
- we worry extra. - Mm-hmm.
Sometimes, I-- I can be a little hard on him.
Say things I don't mean.
Well, he'll show up.
Maybe he will.
What?
He may turn up, may not turn up.
You know, Sherriff,
nothin' in this world's permanent.
We're just all passin' through.
What kinda thing is that to say?
Oh, I'm sorry, maybe you find that hard to hear, but...
it's the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Needs to be said.
Well, if you hear from him, you let me know.
Of course.
[speaking English]
Exactly what government they say they're from?
I'd say federal.
I mean, you've heard their accents.
Drink it in, boys!
Your tax dollars at work!
[WORKERS CHUCKLE]
[ALL CHANTING] God, God, God!
God, God, God! God, God!