TULIP: I was never in love with him.
I came here to get divorced.
That's what we were talking about. Getting divorced.
(SIGHING) That's right. She's my wife, asshole.
- (GRUNTING) - Hey!
Jesse! Hey! Hey!
Jesse, don't! It's not his fault, okay?
You want to take it out on someone, take it out on me.
You picked the wrong guy, asshole.
Pat! Guys!
And we were done, remember?
After Dallas?
You left me.
Guys!
VIKTOR: What the...
(GROANING)
Damn it, Jesse.
What did you do?
Wait, where are you going?
Jesse. Jesse.
Jesse Custer, you cannot do that to him.
Jesse...
Viktor!
(GRUNTS)
All right, I get it. You're mad.
I should've told you I was married.
I should've said something.
But it wouldn't have been an issue if we hadn't come to New Orleans.
Jesse?
(GROANS)
Jesse, I'm sorry, okay?
I'm sorry.
Hurting him is not gonna fix anything.
So stop.
Are you listening to me? You can't do this.
It was me, Jesse. It was my fault.
He didn't do anything wrong.
I mean it.
You can't do this.
Stop, you crazy-ass son of a...
Get out.
Remember Dallas, Jesse.
I don't wanna do that again.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(GUNSHOT)
(ALARM BLARING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
No!
Come on. What is it?
(PANTING)
The baby. The baby.
(SIRENS APPROACHING)
(INDISTINCT VOICES ON TELEVISION)
REGGIE: You like John Wayne?
You don't?
I think he's kind of patriarchal.
What does that mean?
We did a section on him in my Oppositional Gender Studies class.
And, like, the only women you see in all of his movies
need to be saved because they're about to get raped
by, like, indigenous peoples or they're, like, cooking biscuits. (SCOFFS)
You know, I think John Wayne's real respectful to women.
Yeah, in, like, a patriarchal kind of way.
Tulip!
Reggie.
- Hey, you. - Hey.
Oh, look. Cowboys.
Mmm-hmm.
TULIP: Come on, guys.
If y'all are gonna smoke in here, at least open a window.
REGGIE: Sorry, Tules. My bad.
And, Reggie, we have a dinner guest coming, so...
- What're we having? - Who?
Dany. I told you.
No. We, the invited guests, are having peanut butter pot roast.
In, like, half an hour, so yeah.
Awesome.
But I have, like, a bit of a nut allergy, so is it, like...
You're not invited, Reggie.
Oh, man.
Yeah, right. Yeah.
Like, my night is stacked.
I've got Netflix out the ying-yang, so...
(GRUNTING)
Later, bro. See you, T.
You maybe wanna take a shower?
All of, like, North America would appreciate it.
Why is Dany coming to dinner?
Because she's our friend and we miss her.
We do?
(SIGHS)
A realtor?
Well, not yet.
I print stuff out, get supplies and, you know, put out the "For Sale" signs...
So, a realtor's assistant?
Um, I don't really have a title yet.
Take in the "For Sale" signs...
Hmm.
Rewarding. Like working the Mars program at NASA.
Mmm.
And Jesse's got a bartending job.
And they love him.
He's already got, like, two night shifts.
So we're good.
Right?
Mmm-hmm.
How are you, Dany?
My dog died.
So when are you two coming back to work for me?
We're not.
I didn't know you had a dog.
I don't. It died.
As of now, here's what I've got going that's worth doing.
An insurance scam in Santa Fe.
Grab and burn, but the gallery's in on it, so, easy.
Connected guy in New Orleans looking for some general sub-contract stuff. And then,
if you're asking, my first choice,
there's this little Jew bastard down in Houston...
- No. - Hold on. Let me finish.
No way. Absolutely not.
You know what he said to me the other day?
Do you know what he said?
We are not killing your husband, Dany. You know we don't do that.
Not doing any of that anymore.
Right.
If that's why you've come back here, you've wasted your time.
How's your food?
Well, this, I can't eat.
Or this or this.
Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry. Is...
Is that a Jewish thing?
It's a human being thing. It's disgusting.
Look, I get it.
Things went sideways on your last job and it threw you.
But this is not the answer.
This is what you do.
Better than almost anyone else I know.
Not anymore.
People change.
What? No, they don't.
Okay, then.
Forgive me if I don't stay for dessert.
I'm angry enough as it is.
Dany? Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
Any news on Carlos?
DANY: If I hear anything, I'll let you know.
Meantime, you say you're moving on,
so move on.
You've got houses to sell.
- Ready? - Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
What are you doing with that stool?
Holding it.
What are you doing with that beer?
Drinking it.
Huh.
Till the end of the world, right?
Till the end of the world.
Hey. Asshole.
Hey, hey, hey. Talking to you.
Let's go. I don't have all day.
No, you don't.
(TV PLAYING)
(COUGHING)
(DOOR OPENING)
Yay! Look, it's my friend, Cassidy.
- Who's this? - This is my stepdaughter, Allie.
She's had a rough day, so I thought it would be fun if she'd come hang with us.
Oh, yeah, right. Well, we... We do fun like nobody's business.
Yeah, we sure do.
Now, you just sit right there,
and I was thinking, I don't know, comfort food?
And I got just the thing.
You having a bit of a rough day?
Pretty much. Her boyfriend's killing my dad.
No. They're just talking.
- Right, Cassidy? - Oh, yeah, that's right.
If it's the Jesse Custer I know,
he's gonna be talking his bloody ears off. (CHUCKLES)
So to speak.
TULIP: Now who here thinks Boo Berry is just the best?
- Me. - That's just chemicals.
No, it's not.
Boo Berry's awesome.
Okay, well, it's all right.
No, come on. We're gonna have to see what else we have.
We have, my God, a lot of potted meat.
We have a box of plastic forks, we've got some kosher green lentils...
Is that man dead?
What? Oh, shite.
No, that's just Denis.
Maybe Allie could go watch TV with Denis while you and me talk, huh?
That's a great idea. Denis'd love that.
- But I don't want to... - Yeah, I'm sure you don't.
Just take the lentils. Brilliant.
There you go. On your way.
Now, what happened?
(GRUNTING)
Bollocks! Ouch.
You told him!
But what was I supposed to do?
You were supposed to not tell him!
Now, just hang on a second.
Ow!
You told me you pissed off your mobster husband,
you just disappeared off into the middle of the night,
and you stopped answering my texts. I was worried about you!
"Worried", right. Sure.
What?
"Tulip, I feel bad.
"Oh, Tulip, I don't like keeping secrets from my mate."
- No, wait a minute. That's true. - Like it's moral.
Like you're a good guy.
What are you talking about?
I'm not blind, Cassidy. I know what you want.
(STAMMERING) What in the shite is that supposed to mean?
- No, come on, what? - Forget it.
You're me friend, Tulip.
You know, you both are.
I know.
I definitely bollocks this one up though, haven't I?
Were you even in danger?
With Viktor? No.
I mean, he was pissed,
but there was, like, less than a 3% chance he would've hurt me or anything.
It's no wonder you married him.
Why did you marry him?
(SIGHS)
He's got two pools. Who wouldn't marry him?
(CHUCKLES)
No, but why did you marry him?
Cassidy, right now my boyfriend has my husband on a hook in a torture room.
"Why'd you marry him?" is not the question here.
And I swear to God, if Jesse kills him, we are done.
All right.
What are you doing?
Going to have a talk with this mad bastard.
Clean up my mess.
What are you gonna say?
Trust me.
Yeah.
All right.
Hey, asshole.
I've been thinking.
During my free time here, I figured something out.
When Tulip came to work for me a couple years back,
I could see she'd just been through something.
I could see it in her eyes, you know.
But she never talked about it.
Never said a word about it one way or the other.
She was always tough.
She was tougher than any of my guys, I'll tell you. That's for sure.
But I always wondered what it was.
A strong woman like this? A hard woman like this?
What sort of fresh hell did she crawl out of?
I get it now, asshole.
It was you.
(COUNTRY SONG PLAYING)
When I close my eyes and dream
I'll kiss you once again
I'll pretend
Yes, I'll pretend
I'll pretend that we are walking
Down the aisle
I wish I knew what I did, dear
To make you treat me so
Okay.
Did you ever love me?
Love me
(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING)
My eyes are empty, I stare blindly
Fixed on you You're stumbling mutely
My fixtures turn without intent to my fist
Connect them then I strike you
Men are empty, I stare blindly
Fixed on you You're stumbling mutely
'Kay.
Wait.
God,
we're in no position to ask any favors,
but still, we're asking.
Please.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
PREACHER: Forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a virtue.
Now, we are all without truth sometimes. We are all sinners.
And we are all in need of God's forgiveness
or we risk rejection at Heaven's holiest of gates.
But, luckily, He is a loving and merciful God.
His forgiveness can't be earned. And you'll ask,
"But, Preacher, how do I earn His forgiveness?
"What can I do?" Well, the answer's quite simple, actually.
If you put your faith in His son, Jesus Christ,
as your Lord and Savior, then forgiveness is within your reach.
(ALARM BLARING)
Sorry, bro.
(WOMAN GRUNTING)
- (DOOR SLAMS) - REGGIE: Tulip!
Hey, hon.
- How was work? - Oh, you know.
Same old, same old.
- Grab me another beer? - Sure.
- You want a beer? - I'm good.
Thanks.
Sell any houses today?
Uh...
Couple. I mean, I didn't,
but I helped the boss-man, you know.
Well, you keep at it.
You'll be selling those houses yourself in no time.
Yeah.
I found your shit.
Ooh! Damn, T. What have you been doin'?
Shut up, Reggie.
How long you been back working with Dany?
Let me ask that another way.
The real estate job?
How long you last?
Three weeks.
REGGIE: Three weeks?
No, that's nothing. I once had a gig, it was...
Shut up, Reggie.
Me, as a real estate broker?
Making coffee and copies and escrow for 15 bucks an hour?
Could have found something else to do.
I did, and I'm doing it.
The only thing we're good at.
You know, this feels like one of those boyfriend/girlfriend...
- Then go, Reggie. - Stay.
We were having fun, Jesse.
Remember?
- Till Carlos, we had fun. - Right.
Before that little thing, we were having a hell of a time.
That hurt me as much as you.
Oh, it hurt you, Tulip?
Were you hurt by it?
You know I was, you son of a bitch.
What are these then?
Tucked up there, extra hidden.
Bro, this is really uncomfortable.
It's all right. We're just talking.
When were you gonna stop lying to me?
I'm sorry.
You see, I thought we were in this together.
I wanted to be.
I tried to be.
But this life you want,
- doesn't it feel wrong to you? - No.
And I don't know why it feels wrong to you.
Because I'm an O'Hare, Jesse. I don't know how to do it.
Maybe you're right.
Or maybe you don't deserve it.
Bro.
But a Custer does, right?
Is that what you're trying to do here?
Be a Custer again?
Like having a crap job and a crap life gives you the forgiveness you need
for what you done?
Make you one of the good guys, huh?
Like your stuck-up daddy and your stupid John Wayne?
Well, I got some bad news for you, Jesse Custer.
You ain't ever gonna be forgiven.
Guys? Can I just...
- (GRUNTING) - Jesse. Jesse!
Jesse, stop.
Jesse, stop!
(REGGIE GRUNTING)
(REGGIE GROANING)
REGGIE: God!
(GROANING)
(REGGIE COUGHING AND GROANING)
(GROANING CONTINUES)
BOB ROSS: (ON TV) So we can just take pure, titanium white.
And I'm just gonna use the knife.
You can take your finger or you can take a brush,
but I wanna push forcibly some white paint right into there.
'Cause we don't make mistakes.
- JESSE: Going out? - Mmm-hmm.
BOB ROSS: Now, we're gonna take our blender brush
and very gently...
My dad's church is still in my name.
What?
It's just sitting there empty.
I called the lawyer to double-check.
Anyway, it's mine.
Yeah?
I'm going back to Annville.
I'm gonna be a preacher.
Good luck with that.
(GRUNTS)
(CHUCKLES)
How're we doing in here then?
Do you mind if I join?
I'm just gonna walk into this very nice...
God! Bloody hell! It's an unbelievable bedroom, isn't it?
(SIGHING)
I think I'll just sit on the bed next to my mate.
Long day, eh?
I just poked me head through the little torture room downstairs.
Met our man hanging from the ceiling.
He's still alive, which is nice. It's fair.
It's very restrained. Christ almighty!
Sheets are silky bastards, eh?
I think a couple hundred foreskins have gone into making those, easily.
(CHUCKLES)
Do you know, I was rich once.
Bloody years ago.
I really quite enjoyed it, actually.
You know what happened here, right?
You two had a falling out, and she was down.
She fell in with the first two-pool-owning bloke she met.
And that was it.
But she doesn't love him and she never did
because she loves you, you stupid idiot.
If there's one thing I know,
trust me, it's that.
Can I ask you a question, Cassidy?
Of course you can. It's why I've come.
To dispense my considerable wisdoms.
After lying to me all this time?
Probably since Texas.
Probably since she came back downstairs at the casino.
After all that lying,
why in the world would I ever trust you?
I wanted to tell you, mate. Really I did.
I hate keeping secrets from my friend, all right?
But you keep them all the same, don't you?
- I don't. I don't. - Lie to my face?
Sneak behind my back?
Now you're here to be a hero?
To be a friend and talk me out of doing this?
Not to make excuses here, mate, but you know what?
This whole thing, it's put me between a rock and a hard place, all right?
You didn't answer my question.
Well, then, maybe you should remind me, huh?
I asked you, why should I trust you?
Why should I trust a lying, junkie vampire who thinks everything's a joke?
Why in the world would anyone trust you?
You're right.
I am. I'm a right bastard.
I try to tell people all the time,
but sometimes I just don't think they believe me.
But you're right. I'm a greedy, selfish, destructive...
You name it. Jealous.
Yeah.
Maybe that's the difference, though, between me and you.
Because you see, me, if I was in your situation,
if some moppet had their hands on my girl...
And I'm not ashamed to admit it, I don't think I'd be very restrained at all.
No.
I think I'd want to hurt them really, really bad.
Yeah.
I did not come here to talk you out of anything, all right?
I'm only here to let you know
that whatever you decide, I'm with you, Padre.
It'd be over between us, Cass.
If I did it.
No, I don't know about that.
No. She'd leave me.
No more Jesse Custer and Tulip?
Please. Some things will never change.
VIKTOR: One last thing I figured out.
You want to know why Tulip married me?
I know why.
Oh, tell me.
Because this is what she wanted.
To be a criminal.
Have money.
This lifestyle.
That's not why.
Why, then?
Because you're an asshole, asshole.
And I was nice to her.
Just thought you should know.
Come on, let's go.
Too late to change your mind. Let's do this.
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
He's alive?
He was when I left.
Tell me again what you said to him?
I just... I told him mistakes were made, everyone feels bad, you know.
Just to do the right thing.
- And he listened? - Yeah.
Good. That's good.
- You know, I have a feeling that... - (DOOR OPENING)
What happened, Jesse?
(SIGHS)
What did you do to him?
I took him down.
You took him down?
Who's that?
Viktor's daughter.
Hmm.
Allie, go watch more TV.
- ALLIE: He... - Go!
You son of a bitch.
What?
What's going on? Why is everyone so...
I took him down.
Took him down how, Jesse?
I cut his harness from the ceiling.
I didn't kill him.
- You didn't? - Well, that's what I've been saying.
I mean, I wanted to.
Settled for divorce papers instead.
Thank God.
I'll go and let her know her dad's still alive.
She'll be thrilled.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I'm so bad for you.
We're bad for each other.
TULIP: Yes! A thousand dollars.
VIKTOR: A thousand dollars.
Cheap fool.
TULIP: Pay up, sucker.
- A chance right there on Oriental Avenue. - (CHUCKLES)
- Pat wants a word if you're free. - Right.
What you're saying makes no sense. You realize that, right?
It makes total sense.
Pay me my rent or give me Atlantic Avenue.
I gave you Ventnor and I gave you Marvin Gardens.
- That's more than fair. - What are you, a baby?
"More than fair." This is America. Nut up or get out.
All right, here. There's Atlantic Avenue. Happy?
Good boy.
All right, bitches, here come the houses.
(CHUCKLES)
I married a hard woman.
Mmm-hmm.
But I love her anyway.
Thank you.
That's my shirt.
And I'm wearing it.
Hard woman indeed.
Well, try not to cheat.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
Hey, Dany. Long time.
No, I'm not taking jobs anymore.
Viktor gives me plenty of work.
Yeah.
Yes, I like it.
Yeah, I'm happy. So I don't care what...
You found him? You found Carlos?
WOMAN: (SCREAMING) No!
The baby. The baby.
Does Jesse know?
All right, lady. Let's do this.
Do not pass Go.
Do not collect 200.
Tulip?
(SIGHS)
(EXHALES)
I thought you were that crazy preacher.
What's up, kiddo?
Couldn't sleep.
Well, how about a little target practice in the basement, huh?
You always like to do that, makes you feel better.
Could you just read to me, maybe?
Of course, yeah. Come up here.
All right.
How's my little girl?
Hmm?
Well, "The Dow Jones Industrial is up 46 points today.
"Bringing it to an all-time high of..."
(GUNSHOTS)
(MAN SCREAMING)
(GUNSHOTS)
Go to the closet.
- (GUNFIRE CONTINUES) - (WOMAN SCREAMING)
Preacher.
(STAMMERING)
(GRUNTING)
(DISTANT SOBBING)
The Preacher, I know where he is.