1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,208 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:04,251 ♪ [The Andrews Sisters' "Any Bonds Today"] 3 00:00:04,253 --> 00:00:06,694 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:06,696 --> 00:00:09,216 THE ANDREWS SISTERS: ♪ Any bonds today ♪ 5 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,578 ♪ The bonds of freedom, that's what I'm selling ♪ 6 00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:14,221 ♪ Any bonds today ♪ 7 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,784 ♪ Scrape up the most you can ♪ 8 00:00:16,786 --> 00:00:18,465 ♪ Here comes the freedom man ♪ 9 00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:23,711 ♪ Asking you to buy a share of freedom today ♪ 10 00:00:23,713 --> 00:00:25,513 ♪ Any stamps today ♪ 11 00:00:25,515 --> 00:00:26,754 [cheers and applause] 12 00:00:26,756 --> 00:00:28,756 ♪ We'll be blessed if we all invest ♪ 13 00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:31,639 ♪ In the U.S.A. ♪ 14 00:00:31,641 --> 00:00:34,081 ♪ Here comes the freedom man ♪ 15 00:00:34,083 --> 00:00:35,843 ♪ Can't make tomorrow's plan ♪ 16 00:00:35,845 --> 00:00:38,566 ♪ Not unless you buy a share of freedom today ♪ 17 00:00:38,568 --> 00:00:41,569 [cheers and applause] 18 00:00:41,571 --> 00:00:42,970 ♪ ♪ 19 00:00:42,972 --> 00:00:45,813 [cheers and applause] MAN: Whoo! 20 00:00:45,815 --> 00:00:47,615 [indistinct chatter] 21 00:00:47,617 --> 00:00:49,297 WOMAN: ♪ The tall man with the high hat ♪ 22 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,058 ♪ And the whiskers on his chin ♪ 23 00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:53,861 ♪ Will soon be knocking at your door ♪ 24 00:00:53,863 --> 00:00:58,548 [horn honking] 25 00:00:59,349 --> 00:01:01,351 Who's Major Major? 26 00:01:05,955 --> 00:01:08,076 Well, we need you for the group leaders meeting. 27 00:01:08,078 --> 00:01:09,557 We're allocating the Requisitions Budget 28 00:01:09,559 --> 00:01:11,561 for next quarter. Let's go. 29 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:17,045 Uh, I--I'm sorry, and my part in that is? 30 00:01:17,047 --> 00:01:19,447 All members of Senior Command are automatically part 31 00:01:19,449 --> 00:01:21,569 of the Group Leaders' Allocation and Requisition 32 00:01:21,571 --> 00:01:25,533 Procedural Advisory Board, GLARPAB. 33 00:01:25,535 --> 00:01:26,734 GLARPAB? 34 00:01:26,736 --> 00:01:29,257 For God's sakes, we're late for the meeting. 35 00:01:29,259 --> 00:01:33,061 Oh, with all due respect, sir, I'm a sergeant. 36 00:01:33,063 --> 00:01:34,382 You're a sergeant? Yes, sir. 37 00:01:34,384 --> 00:01:36,584 I'm only a sergeant. 38 00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:37,986 But you're Major Major. Yes, sir. 39 00:01:37,988 --> 00:01:40,829 That's my name, sir. Uh...[laughs] 40 00:01:40,831 --> 00:01:42,390 I've been through this with the fellas, sir. 41 00:01:42,392 --> 00:01:45,393 Uh, it's my birth name. It's a funny story. 42 00:01:45,395 --> 00:01:46,675 Um, but now may not be the time. 43 00:01:46,677 --> 00:01:49,037 So, yes, in short, I'm Sergeant Major Major. 44 00:01:49,039 --> 00:01:50,719 Major Major is my name. Sergeant is my rank. 45 00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:53,642 He's already on the calendar sheets right up to September. 46 00:01:53,644 --> 00:01:55,646 List-- 47 00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:57,526 Good Christ, that means that he's also in the-- 48 00:01:57,528 --> 00:01:58,567 Yes, sir. 49 00:01:58,569 --> 00:02:00,048 He's already down for Wednesday's 50 00:02:00,050 --> 00:02:02,052 subcommittee briefings, yes. 51 00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:04,613 Sergeant. 52 00:02:04,615 --> 00:02:07,656 Major--Sergeant--whatever your goddamn name is, 53 00:02:07,658 --> 00:02:09,017 you're not making a whiff of sense to me. 54 00:02:09,019 --> 00:02:10,819 Sir, uh, like I told the fellas, 55 00:02:10,821 --> 00:02:13,622 well, uh, my father was something of a practical joker. 56 00:02:13,624 --> 00:02:15,504 He named me Major Major. 57 00:02:15,506 --> 00:02:17,185 First name Major, middle name Major, 58 00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:20,589 behind my mother's back, uh, on the birth certificate. 59 00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:24,275 Uh, and my surname's Major, too, as you already know. 60 00:02:25,796 --> 00:02:27,356 Well, that is a hell of a practical joke, 61 00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:28,637 isn't it, son? 62 00:02:28,639 --> 00:02:31,202 He was a piece of work, sir. 63 00:02:34,645 --> 00:02:35,884 What are we gonna do? 64 00:02:35,886 --> 00:02:37,966 We can't have a goddamn sergeant in GLARPAB. 65 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,611 That's correct, sir. It's for Senior Command only. 66 00:02:43,494 --> 00:02:47,218 Unless, sir, you promote him. 67 00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:52,463 Sergeant Major, step forward. 68 00:02:54,665 --> 00:02:56,986 Sergeant Major, congratulations. 69 00:02:56,988 --> 00:02:59,148 I'm herby promoting you to a major. 70 00:02:59,150 --> 00:03:01,991 Congratulations. Get in. 71 00:03:01,993 --> 00:03:03,632 MAJOR: But, no, sir--sir, I-- 72 00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:05,154 CATHCART: You're a good man. You've earned it. 73 00:03:05,156 --> 00:03:06,595 You've worked hard. Yes, sir. 74 00:03:06,597 --> 00:03:07,717 Um, d-does that mean, uh-- 75 00:03:07,719 --> 00:03:09,478 what--will my duties be any different? 76 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,760 Will his duties be any different, Colonel Korn? 77 00:03:10,762 --> 00:03:11,921 Of course, sir. He's a major, sir. 78 00:03:11,923 --> 00:03:13,282 Of course there are. You're a major. 79 00:03:13,284 --> 00:03:15,084 We don't just hand out promotions willy-nilly. 80 00:03:15,086 --> 00:03:16,445 You'll act like a major, 81 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,087 you'll perform the duties of a major, God damn it. 82 00:03:18,089 --> 00:03:19,609 Yes, sir. And--and--and those are? 83 00:03:19,611 --> 00:03:22,091 Major Major, congratulations. You're a major. 84 00:03:22,093 --> 00:03:23,332 Give him the goddamn thing. 85 00:03:23,334 --> 00:03:24,694 These are the minutes from last Allocation 86 00:03:24,696 --> 00:03:26,536 and Requisitions meeting and the agenda for today. 87 00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:28,540 Uh... 88 00:03:30,301 --> 00:03:32,141 [car engine revving] 89 00:03:32,143 --> 00:03:33,623 Don't just stand there! 90 00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:35,545 Get in the goddamn jeep. 91 00:03:35,547 --> 00:03:37,467 ♪ [Johnny Hodges' "Things Ain't What They Used To Be"] 92 00:03:37,469 --> 00:03:39,308 Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. 93 00:03:39,310 --> 00:03:46,318 ♪ ♪ 94 00:03:52,764 --> 00:03:54,284 Hey, fellas! 95 00:03:54,286 --> 00:04:01,293 ♪ ♪ 96 00:04:14,386 --> 00:04:18,068 Okay. These go inside. 97 00:04:18,070 --> 00:04:21,191 You carry two at a time. Like this. 98 00:04:21,193 --> 00:04:23,195 Carry, carry. 99 00:04:24,236 --> 00:04:25,555 Rapido, rapido! 100 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:28,038 Good lads. Bueno, bueno. 101 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,319 What's going on? 102 00:04:29,321 --> 00:04:31,561 Oh, you like watermelons? 103 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,043 What is this? 104 00:04:33,045 --> 00:04:35,285 They didn't tell you? Tell me what? 105 00:04:35,287 --> 00:04:38,408 Oh, I am so sorry about that. 106 00:04:38,410 --> 00:04:40,010 I'm the Mess Officer now. 107 00:04:40,012 --> 00:04:42,132 [chuckles] What are you talking about? 108 00:04:42,134 --> 00:04:47,577 Uh, I am the Mess Officer now. 109 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:50,901 And, uh, you're not. 110 00:04:50,903 --> 00:04:53,423 But this is what I do. 111 00:04:53,425 --> 00:04:55,425 I know. I tried to tell them that myself. 112 00:04:55,427 --> 00:04:56,627 It's ridiculous. 113 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,991 What the hell do I know about running a kitchen? 114 00:04:59,752 --> 00:05:02,713 No, no. Those go in the pantry. 115 00:05:02,715 --> 00:05:09,762 ♪ ♪ 116 00:05:11,884 --> 00:05:14,525 At 0930, sir, Major Prendergast from the Car Relative 117 00:05:14,527 --> 00:05:16,327 Operations Southern Division Committee 118 00:05:16,329 --> 00:05:18,088 will be here to speak to you about the combined groups' 119 00:05:18,090 --> 00:05:19,490 requisition outreach. 120 00:05:19,492 --> 00:05:22,253 At 1000, that'll be Colonel Westridge. 121 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,815 Okay, 1100, a Milo Minderbinder 122 00:05:24,817 --> 00:05:26,937 has asked to see you. He's the Mess Officer. 123 00:05:26,939 --> 00:05:28,979 He wants to talk to you about an unusual new variety 124 00:05:28,981 --> 00:05:30,581 of truffles, sir. 125 00:05:30,583 --> 00:05:32,785 Apparently they're worth a lot of money. 126 00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:37,870 Okay. 127 00:05:44,837 --> 00:05:47,038 What would you say if I told you I don't want 128 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,439 to see those people? 129 00:05:48,441 --> 00:05:49,800 Which people in particular, sir? 130 00:05:49,802 --> 00:05:52,003 All of them. Any of them. 131 00:05:52,005 --> 00:05:53,925 Well, sir, my job is to schedule your day 132 00:05:53,927 --> 00:05:55,929 as you request. 133 00:05:56,769 --> 00:06:02,333 Okay, uh, from now on, I would much prefer if no one 134 00:06:02,335 --> 00:06:04,896 came in to see me while I'm here. 135 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,698 Yes, sir. Does that include me, sir? 136 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,861 Yes, that includes you, sergeant. 137 00:06:09,863 --> 00:06:11,462 Of course, sir. 138 00:06:11,464 --> 00:06:13,544 That's no one ever. 139 00:06:13,546 --> 00:06:15,466 I see, sir. Very good, sir. 140 00:06:15,468 --> 00:06:17,909 Will that be all, sir? 141 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,470 Yes. 142 00:06:19,472 --> 00:06:20,992 [laughing] 143 00:06:20,994 --> 00:06:22,754 Uh, yes, yes. That will be all. 144 00:06:22,756 --> 00:06:24,315 [chuckles] 145 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,677 What shall I say to the people who do come to see you 146 00:06:25,679 --> 00:06:26,998 while you're here? 147 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:29,921 Tell them, uh--tell them I'm in and ask them to wait. 148 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,242 Yes, sir. For how long? 149 00:06:31,244 --> 00:06:32,804 Until I've left. 150 00:06:32,806 --> 00:06:34,886 W-what shall I do with them then, sir? 151 00:06:34,888 --> 00:06:37,529 Uh, you know what? I don't care. 152 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,571 May I send them in to see you after you've left? 153 00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,132 Yes. Yes, you may. You may indeed. 154 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,213 But you won't be here then, will you? 155 00:06:42,215 --> 00:06:43,615 Yes, that's correct. 156 00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:45,136 Well, sir, just to clarify, when should I come here 157 00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:46,858 to find out if there's anything you want me to do for you? 158 00:06:46,860 --> 00:06:48,219 When I'm not here. 159 00:06:48,221 --> 00:06:49,541 Yes, and what should I do? 160 00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:51,062 Uh, whatever I tell you to. 161 00:06:51,064 --> 00:06:52,223 But you won't be here to tell me. 162 00:06:52,225 --> 00:06:54,506 No. Then what should I do? 163 00:06:54,508 --> 00:06:55,587 Whatever has to be done. 164 00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:58,230 Cross that bridge when we come to it. 165 00:06:58,232 --> 00:06:59,551 Yes, sir. 166 00:06:59,553 --> 00:07:01,833 Good. 167 00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:05,078 Well, dismissed, then. 168 00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:12,005 [door clicks shut] 169 00:07:19,653 --> 00:07:21,533 CHAPLAIN: The Lord is my shepherd. 170 00:07:21,535 --> 00:07:23,855 I shall not want. 171 00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:26,618 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. 172 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:29,581 He leadeth me beside still waters. 173 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:32,504 He restoreth my soul. 174 00:07:32,506 --> 00:07:34,947 He leadeth me in paths of righteousness 175 00:07:34,949 --> 00:07:36,708 for his name's sake. 176 00:07:36,710 --> 00:07:38,310 Yea, though I walk through the valley 177 00:07:38,312 --> 00:07:40,432 of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. 178 00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:42,114 Look, enough with all the death stuff, huh? 179 00:07:42,116 --> 00:07:43,996 What do you say we send the boys out feeling good? 180 00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:47,880 Don't you have something a little bit more, I dunno, 181 00:07:47,882 --> 00:07:49,884 goddamn sunnier? 182 00:07:53,007 --> 00:07:55,009 Sunnier. 183 00:07:57,011 --> 00:08:00,092 May the road rise to meet you. 184 00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:02,855 May the wind be always at your back, 185 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:06,218 the sun shine warm upon your face, 186 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:09,141 the rains fall soft upon your fields. 187 00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:10,663 And until we meet again, 188 00:08:10,665 --> 00:08:12,785 may God hold you in the palm of his hand. 189 00:08:12,787 --> 00:08:14,386 [loud booming] 190 00:08:14,388 --> 00:08:17,870 MAN: Closing in on target. 30 seconds to run. 191 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,512 [plane engines rumbling] 192 00:08:19,514 --> 00:08:21,914 Crew, you still fucking alive back there? 193 00:08:21,916 --> 00:08:25,598 [dramatic music] 194 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:27,600 MAN: Yossarian, are you on a steady heading? 195 00:08:27,602 --> 00:08:28,681 We're approaching. 196 00:08:28,683 --> 00:08:29,802 Steady. 197 00:08:29,804 --> 00:08:32,285 ♪ ♪ 198 00:08:32,287 --> 00:08:33,486 [motors running] 199 00:08:33,488 --> 00:08:40,453 ♪ ♪ 200 00:08:40,455 --> 00:08:42,535 Bombs away. 201 00:08:42,537 --> 00:08:45,178 Okay, over to you, McWatt. get us out of here. 202 00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:49,822 ♪ ♪ 203 00:08:49,824 --> 00:08:52,825 [booming] 204 00:08:52,827 --> 00:08:59,834 ♪ ♪ 205 00:09:09,284 --> 00:09:11,564 [tires squealing] 206 00:09:11,566 --> 00:09:17,570 ♪ ♪ 207 00:09:17,572 --> 00:09:18,972 [bell dings] 208 00:09:18,974 --> 00:09:20,774 CATHCART: We have pounded the bastards into submission 209 00:09:20,776 --> 00:09:22,696 and we have taken Rome. 210 00:09:22,698 --> 00:09:24,978 Congratulations, gentlemen. 211 00:09:24,980 --> 00:09:28,261 St. Lawrence Basilica, rubble. 212 00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,384 This one, good job. 213 00:09:31,386 --> 00:09:35,829 This, bravo. Bravo, gentlemen. 214 00:09:35,831 --> 00:09:37,951 What is this? 215 00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:40,073 What the hell is this? 216 00:09:40,075 --> 00:09:42,357 What in the goddamn hell is this? 217 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,361 That looks like a goddamn tourist postcard! 218 00:09:48,363 --> 00:09:50,406 Hands up, bombardiers. 219 00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:55,128 Well, there you have it. 220 00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,531 A group of idiots trying to singlehandedly 221 00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:59,573 lose this fucking war for us. 222 00:09:59,575 --> 00:10:01,815 Next time, why don't we just drop leaflets? 223 00:10:01,817 --> 00:10:03,297 Guten tag, my German friends. 224 00:10:03,299 --> 00:10:06,780 You just have a fine old fucking day, why don't you? 225 00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:08,342 What are we trying to be? 226 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:11,064 What have I told you that we are trying to be? 227 00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:13,507 Comprehensive. Blanket coverage. 228 00:10:13,509 --> 00:10:16,430 Flush the enemy out. How many times have I told you? 229 00:10:16,432 --> 00:10:17,551 How many times-- 230 00:10:17,553 --> 00:10:19,555 That's the Vatican, sir. 231 00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:27,641 All right, then. That's Vatican City. 232 00:10:27,643 --> 00:10:30,324 And as we all know, that is neutral territory, so good job. 233 00:10:30,326 --> 00:10:32,726 That is precision bombing, gentlemen. 234 00:10:32,728 --> 00:10:35,249 You gotta respect that neutral territory. 235 00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:37,253 Terrific job. 236 00:10:38,094 --> 00:10:40,096 Gotta love those Catholics, huh? 237 00:10:41,818 --> 00:10:43,820 And the Jews. 238 00:10:45,261 --> 00:10:47,381 Major de Coverley. 239 00:10:47,383 --> 00:10:50,344 Major de Coverley will be heading to Rome to spearhead 240 00:10:50,346 --> 00:10:53,067 his Advance Reconnaissance Residential Plan 241 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,711 and, as usual, securing accommodations for the officers 242 00:10:56,713 --> 00:10:59,674 in the performing of their administrative duties 243 00:10:59,676 --> 00:11:02,436 as well as their weekend leave, of course. 244 00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:05,800 Major de Coverley, we look forward, as always, to your... 245 00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:07,682 splendid accommodations. 246 00:11:07,684 --> 00:11:10,444 That's if I can find any still standing in there. 247 00:11:10,446 --> 00:11:14,529 [laughter] 248 00:11:14,531 --> 00:11:16,533 I'm sure you will. 249 00:11:22,138 --> 00:11:24,140 Gosh, I'm proud of you, gentlemen. 250 00:11:25,982 --> 00:11:28,705 I'm very proud indeed. 251 00:11:30,827 --> 00:11:34,469 So what do you say we speed this thing up, hmm? 252 00:11:34,471 --> 00:11:36,951 Are you with me? All right, then. 253 00:11:36,953 --> 00:11:38,753 Let's get this thing over and done with. 254 00:11:38,755 --> 00:11:41,436 Let's put the hurt on Jerry. Let's pitch in. 255 00:11:41,438 --> 00:11:43,398 Let's raise the mission count to 35. 256 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,481 35 it is, gentlemen. We're gonna win this thing. 257 00:11:46,483 --> 00:11:48,323 We're gonna win this fucking thing. 258 00:11:48,325 --> 00:11:50,245 35 it is. [bell dings] 259 00:11:50,247 --> 00:11:53,048 [quirky music] 260 00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:54,609 Can't go in there, sir. Yes, I can. 261 00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,451 He's my point guard. 262 00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:57,892 He's raising the missions again. 263 00:11:57,894 --> 00:12:00,095 He's raising the goddamn missions again. 264 00:12:00,097 --> 00:12:01,536 He's awfully keen. 265 00:12:01,538 --> 00:12:04,059 No, he's not keen. He's crazy! 266 00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:06,181 I-I have no power. Yes, you do. 267 00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:08,143 You have the power to stand men down. 268 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:10,305 On what basis? Find a basis. 269 00:12:10,307 --> 00:12:12,467 Good God, there are basises everywhere. 270 00:12:12,469 --> 00:12:14,269 Yossarian, I don't even want to be here. 271 00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:15,510 I'm two missions away. 272 00:12:15,512 --> 00:12:17,632 And, bang, 35, just like that. 273 00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:19,514 And just like that, I'm 7 away. 274 00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:20,876 That's terrible. 275 00:12:20,878 --> 00:12:23,879 Yossarian, that's simply terrible. 276 00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:25,400 I'm afraid. 277 00:12:25,402 --> 00:12:27,322 That--that's nothing to be ashamed of. 278 00:12:27,324 --> 00:12:29,687 I'm not ashamed. I'm afraid. 279 00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,128 So what are we gonna do? 280 00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:34,489 I don't know. 281 00:12:34,491 --> 00:12:35,971 I-I don't even know what powers I have. 282 00:12:35,973 --> 00:12:36,932 Well, somebody must know. 283 00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:38,734 It must be written down somewhere. 284 00:12:38,736 --> 00:12:40,738 Yeah? 285 00:12:41,498 --> 00:12:43,018 Probably in here somewhere. 286 00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:44,299 What the hell is that? 287 00:12:44,301 --> 00:12:48,584 It's the Group Leaders Operations Manual. 288 00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:50,588 Perhaps I should read it. 289 00:12:51,429 --> 00:12:53,711 Jesus Christ. Okay. 290 00:12:55,673 --> 00:12:57,072 You read this. 291 00:12:57,074 --> 00:12:58,834 You figure out what your powers are. 292 00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:01,116 And you come find me when you know how they can be used 293 00:13:01,118 --> 00:13:02,798 to help me, hmm? 294 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,680 Mm-hmm. 295 00:13:04,682 --> 00:13:06,684 I'll be in the hospital. 296 00:13:10,688 --> 00:13:12,368 Thank you, Major. 297 00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:14,530 I mean...thank you, sir. 298 00:13:14,532 --> 00:13:17,533 [quirky music] 299 00:13:17,535 --> 00:13:24,582 ♪ ♪ 300 00:13:30,668 --> 00:13:33,309 Hello. How are you? 301 00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:35,391 ♪ ♪ 302 00:13:35,393 --> 00:13:37,473 Hi. Hi. 303 00:13:37,475 --> 00:13:39,996 How are you? 304 00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:41,757 Hello. 305 00:13:41,759 --> 00:13:46,682 ♪ ♪ 306 00:13:46,684 --> 00:13:49,365 What's going on here? 307 00:13:49,367 --> 00:13:51,327 I just need a few days, maximum. 308 00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:54,290 A few days for what? For my situation. 309 00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:55,932 My situation's complicated. 310 00:13:55,934 --> 00:13:57,814 I have a major working on it right now. 311 00:13:57,816 --> 00:14:00,376 He's having to sort through some very technical details. 312 00:14:00,378 --> 00:14:02,699 Documents. Debts. 313 00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:04,380 What's that got to do with you being in here? 314 00:14:04,382 --> 00:14:06,382 Well, if it helps your situation at all, 315 00:14:06,384 --> 00:14:08,144 I really am feeling a little unwell. 316 00:14:08,146 --> 00:14:09,505 My situation? 317 00:14:09,507 --> 00:14:11,628 Look, I'll be quiet as a mouse. 318 00:14:11,630 --> 00:14:13,429 If you need a bed, I'm out of here in two minutes 319 00:14:13,431 --> 00:14:15,433 and you'll barely even know that I'm here. 320 00:14:17,796 --> 00:14:19,798 Please? 321 00:14:21,119 --> 00:14:24,160 ♪ [Tommy Dorsey's "Then I'll Be Happy"] 322 00:14:24,162 --> 00:14:31,169 ♪ ♪ 323 00:14:43,222 --> 00:14:46,863 TEXAN: Remember the Alamo? You're goddamn right I do. 324 00:14:46,865 --> 00:14:48,785 We didn't take no handouts. 325 00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,747 We took Texas by hook or by crook 326 00:14:50,749 --> 00:14:52,629 one county at a time. 327 00:14:52,631 --> 00:14:54,711 That's my grandpappy I'm talking about there, boy. 328 00:14:54,713 --> 00:14:57,434 His grandpappy 'fore him. 329 00:14:57,436 --> 00:15:00,357 Soil Conservation Society thinks they can tell us 330 00:15:00,359 --> 00:15:02,039 how to farm our own land. 331 00:15:02,041 --> 00:15:04,081 Well, we've been doing that for 120 years, 332 00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:05,682 thank you very much. 333 00:15:05,684 --> 00:15:08,685 You're very welcome indeed, sir. 334 00:15:08,687 --> 00:15:12,089 I grew up on a 900-acre spread out near Sonora. 335 00:15:12,091 --> 00:15:14,932 It's all horizon out there, boy. 336 00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:17,174 Horizon, every direction. 337 00:15:17,176 --> 00:15:18,936 [chuckles] 338 00:15:18,938 --> 00:15:21,618 This one time, me and my pappy, we was leading 1,000 head 339 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:24,101 through a dry gulch, and we heard this noise. 340 00:15:24,103 --> 00:15:26,543 What on Earth could that be? 341 00:15:26,545 --> 00:15:29,186 Sounds a little like thunder. 342 00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:31,068 Only it keeps rumbling. 343 00:15:31,070 --> 00:15:32,710 And it ain't no thunder. 344 00:15:32,712 --> 00:15:35,512 Turns out it'd been raining up near Christoval. 345 00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:39,837 Whoo-hoo, them gulches ain't seen water in 100 years. 346 00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,600 And I'm yelling, "Pappy, you hearing this?" 347 00:15:42,602 --> 00:15:46,003 Suddenly, there's a longhorn about 100 yards up. 348 00:15:46,005 --> 00:15:48,405 He's met with a wall of water. 349 00:15:48,407 --> 00:15:50,768 [mimics water rushing] You could feel it hit him. 350 00:15:50,770 --> 00:15:53,330 Turned him flankside like a linebacker. 351 00:15:53,332 --> 00:15:56,333 And the wave is acting like a cow catcher on the front 352 00:15:56,335 --> 00:15:58,976 of a train just collecting all them steers. 353 00:15:58,978 --> 00:16:01,579 [mimics water rushing] 354 00:16:01,581 --> 00:16:02,820 And it's coming for us. 355 00:16:02,822 --> 00:16:04,622 Just a whole tumble fuck of-- 356 00:16:04,624 --> 00:16:07,625 ♪ [Il Volo's "O Sole Mio"] 357 00:16:07,627 --> 00:16:14,674 ♪ ♪ 358 00:16:24,444 --> 00:16:28,406 MAN: ♪ Che bella cosa ♪ 359 00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:33,531 ♪ Na jurnata 'e sole ♪ 360 00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:38,456 ♪ N'aria serena doppo ♪ 361 00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:42,780 ♪ Na tempesta ♪ 362 00:16:42,782 --> 00:16:46,945 ♪ Pe' ll'aria fresca ♪ 363 00:16:46,947 --> 00:16:52,390 ♪ Pare gia' na festa ♪ 364 00:16:52,392 --> 00:16:55,073 ♪ Che bella cosa ♪ 365 00:16:55,075 --> 00:17:02,122 ♪ Na jurnata 'e sole ♪ 366 00:17:07,848 --> 00:17:09,648 Buongiorno. Buongiorno. 367 00:17:09,650 --> 00:17:13,612 Un caffè, per favore, e un... glass of water. 368 00:17:13,614 --> 00:17:14,733 Si, signore. 369 00:17:14,735 --> 00:17:17,255 Uh, the, um-- the building--the, uh-- 370 00:17:17,257 --> 00:17:18,456 What do you call it? Uh... 371 00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:19,858 edificio. 372 00:17:19,860 --> 00:17:23,822 Who-- qui-- owns the building? 373 00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:25,504 The-- Scusi? 374 00:17:25,506 --> 00:17:29,428 Uh, the proprietario of the edificio. 375 00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:31,432 Un secondo. Giuseppe. 376 00:17:33,394 --> 00:17:35,313 [speaking Italian] 377 00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,195 Proprietario. That's it, that's it. 378 00:17:37,197 --> 00:17:39,237 [speaking Italian] 379 00:17:39,239 --> 00:17:40,719 May I help you, sir? 380 00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:42,841 Ah. English. 381 00:17:42,843 --> 00:17:44,763 I want to know who owns that building 'cause I need 382 00:17:44,765 --> 00:17:47,005 to requisition it on behalf of the fighting men 383 00:17:47,007 --> 00:17:49,009 of the United States of America. 384 00:17:54,054 --> 00:17:56,335 TEXAN: People of means, decent folk, 385 00:17:56,337 --> 00:18:00,179 they deserve more votes than drifters and whores--criminals. 386 00:18:00,181 --> 00:18:03,062 Degenerates, atheists. They're indecent folk. 387 00:18:03,064 --> 00:18:04,983 You know, people without means. 388 00:18:04,985 --> 00:18:06,705 You know what I'm saying? 389 00:18:06,707 --> 00:18:08,707 Way I see it, there's only two types of people in this world. 390 00:18:08,709 --> 00:18:10,909 People of means and people without means. 391 00:18:10,911 --> 00:18:12,791 You gotta get me a private room. 392 00:18:12,793 --> 00:18:14,353 I'm losing my mind. 393 00:18:14,355 --> 00:18:17,356 This has become a mental health issue now. 394 00:18:17,358 --> 00:18:18,637 What about that oath that you take 395 00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,239 about not doing me any harm? 396 00:18:20,241 --> 00:18:22,201 The Hippocratic oath? That's the one. 397 00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,402 That's just for doctors. 398 00:18:23,404 --> 00:18:25,204 Oh, come on. What do you say? 399 00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:26,846 A little peace and quiet would be 400 00:18:26,848 --> 00:18:28,607 tremendously beneficial to me. 401 00:18:28,609 --> 00:18:30,089 Don't push it. 402 00:18:30,091 --> 00:18:31,731 Lift your tongue. 403 00:18:31,733 --> 00:18:33,532 TEXAN: One man, one vote's poppycock. 404 00:18:33,534 --> 00:18:35,895 But one man ain't always equal to one other man. 405 00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,056 That's just the way it is. 406 00:18:37,058 --> 00:18:38,497 That's the law of nature, man. 407 00:18:38,499 --> 00:18:41,620 Some folks, it's just-- it's claws and disembowelment 408 00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:42,782 from cradle to gra-- 409 00:18:42,784 --> 00:18:44,583 [plane engines rumbling] 410 00:18:44,585 --> 00:18:46,588 [tires squealing] 411 00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,393 Now, with one new runway-- this one-- 412 00:18:54,395 --> 00:18:56,235 you increase your overall flight capacity 413 00:18:56,237 --> 00:18:57,597 to 162 per day. 414 00:18:57,599 --> 00:18:58,998 Additional? Correct, sir. 415 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,800 Now, a second runway, engineering-wise, 416 00:19:00,802 --> 00:19:01,881 it's a bigger job. 417 00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:04,243 We have to extend out here past the spit. 418 00:19:04,245 --> 00:19:06,045 But if we do that, you're gonna be able to siphon off 419 00:19:06,047 --> 00:19:09,208 some of the heavier cargo flights from runway one 420 00:19:09,210 --> 00:19:13,613 and that'll take you to 420 individual flights per week. 421 00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:15,455 420? 422 00:19:15,457 --> 00:19:17,817 No one on the other bases come close to that. 423 00:19:17,819 --> 00:19:19,821 I don't think so, sir, no. 424 00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,663 This is a three-month flow chart analyzing the cost 425 00:19:23,665 --> 00:19:24,904 of the one runway option versus-- 426 00:19:24,906 --> 00:19:26,546 Oh, forget the one runway option, Korn. 427 00:19:26,548 --> 00:19:27,587 Yes. Think big. 428 00:19:27,589 --> 00:19:28,828 I thought so. 429 00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:30,069 For God's sakes, if I had a nickel for every 430 00:19:30,071 --> 00:19:32,073 small thought of yours, I'd be the richest-- 431 00:19:33,835 --> 00:19:37,039 What on God's green Earth is that? 432 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,721 MILO: It's only me, sir. 433 00:19:41,723 --> 00:19:43,203 CATHCART: Who in the hell are you? 434 00:19:43,205 --> 00:19:44,644 I'm Milo Minderbinder, sir. 435 00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:46,606 I'm the new Mess Officer. You may have heard of me. 436 00:19:46,608 --> 00:19:48,888 Do you realize these men have orders to shoot to kill? 437 00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:50,530 Uh, we come... 438 00:19:50,532 --> 00:19:52,692 bearing tomatoes, sir. 439 00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:54,696 You're gonna have to try this. 440 00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:05,347 Wait, wait. 441 00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:10,831 This is olive oil, sir. 442 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:13,153 The Italians use it for everything. 443 00:20:13,155 --> 00:20:15,157 [cork pops] 444 00:20:29,652 --> 00:20:31,654 My God. You get it? 445 00:20:33,576 --> 00:20:35,576 Korn, try one of these. 446 00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:37,580 [groans] 447 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:40,180 Good God. 448 00:20:40,182 --> 00:20:41,902 ♪ [Johnny Hodges' "Things Ain't What They Used To Be"] 449 00:20:41,904 --> 00:20:44,505 They're selling for $3 a bale in London! 450 00:20:44,507 --> 00:20:47,788 That's a 550% markup! 451 00:20:47,790 --> 00:20:51,191 550? That's an interesting number. 452 00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:54,074 You're saying that I'm buying tomatoes off of you 453 00:20:54,076 --> 00:20:55,236 in this scenario? 454 00:20:55,238 --> 00:20:56,797 Well, what I'm actually saying, sir, 455 00:20:56,799 --> 00:20:59,119 is that for you this time, it's actually 456 00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:03,124 an infinity percent markup because--because I'd like you 457 00:21:03,126 --> 00:21:06,327 to have these tomatoes, sir, to do with as you may! 458 00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:08,008 Well, that's very generous of you, 459 00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:09,370 but I couldn't possibly take all these tomato-- 460 00:21:09,372 --> 00:21:11,172 And then, of course, in the normal course of business, 461 00:21:11,174 --> 00:21:12,813 I could offer you future shipments 462 00:21:12,815 --> 00:21:15,376 at very attractive rates, almost at my cost, sir. 463 00:21:15,378 --> 00:21:17,498 So you'd be dropping from infinity percent 464 00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:22,143 back to 500, 300, thereabouts, should you wish to participate. 465 00:21:22,145 --> 00:21:24,185 Well, Milo--participate? 466 00:21:24,187 --> 00:21:26,027 Participate. 467 00:21:26,029 --> 00:21:28,349 Well, Milo, commerce isn't exactly my bag. 468 00:21:28,351 --> 00:21:30,111 I've got a base to ru-- Oh, you'd be a natural, sir. 469 00:21:30,113 --> 00:21:33,034 I got a good eye for these things. 470 00:21:33,036 --> 00:21:36,798 I am planning on building a couple runways out there, 471 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,000 increase flight capacity, all that jazz, but I'm not-- 472 00:21:39,002 --> 00:21:40,441 Well, increased flight capacity means 473 00:21:40,443 --> 00:21:43,124 increased profits for those with the vision to see it. 474 00:21:43,126 --> 00:21:46,167 War is not about profit, son. Absolutely, sir. 475 00:21:46,169 --> 00:21:47,649 Not only. 476 00:21:47,651 --> 00:21:49,490 War is about the just defeating the unjust. 477 00:21:49,492 --> 00:21:53,054 It is absolutely that too, sir. 478 00:21:53,056 --> 00:21:54,816 What about you, son? 479 00:21:54,818 --> 00:21:57,338 Are you enjoying your missions? 480 00:21:57,340 --> 00:21:59,460 I'm proud to be doing my bit, sir. 481 00:21:59,462 --> 00:22:02,944 Yes, indeed. Thank you for asking. 482 00:22:02,946 --> 00:22:04,265 Good, good. 483 00:22:04,267 --> 00:22:06,269 Good, good. 484 00:22:10,714 --> 00:22:11,753 TEXAN: Are you a Bill Bevens man? 485 00:22:11,755 --> 00:22:13,635 Or are you a Ralph Branca man? Hmm? 486 00:22:13,637 --> 00:22:15,236 Well, let's look at this season. 487 00:22:15,238 --> 00:22:19,040 Bill Bevens has got an ERA so far of 3.68. 488 00:22:19,042 --> 00:22:22,203 But his 1944 ERA was 2.67. 489 00:22:22,205 --> 00:22:23,325 So you gotta ask yourself, 490 00:22:23,327 --> 00:22:25,887 what happened to Bill Bevens this year? 491 00:22:25,889 --> 00:22:27,529 Now, Ralph Branca, his ERA's around 3, 492 00:22:27,531 --> 00:22:29,731 but you gotta remember kid's 19, right? 493 00:22:29,733 --> 00:22:31,132 He's just gonna keep getting better. 494 00:22:31,134 --> 00:22:32,734 And Bill Bevens, he's 28. 495 00:22:32,736 --> 00:22:34,296 That elbow's getting tired. 496 00:22:34,298 --> 00:22:36,098 So you're the Yankees' GM. What are you gonna do? 497 00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:37,779 How often you gonna relieve him? 498 00:22:37,781 --> 00:22:39,501 Well, who do you got? 499 00:22:39,503 --> 00:22:41,863 You got Tiny Bonham, you got Spud Chandler-- 500 00:22:41,865 --> 00:22:44,186 He can't fucking hear you! 501 00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:46,188 We don't even know if he's alive in there! 502 00:22:46,190 --> 00:22:47,469 I can hear you. I know you can, buddy. 503 00:22:47,471 --> 00:22:48,991 Do we all have to listen to your bullshit? 504 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:50,112 TEXAN: What's your fucking problem? 505 00:22:50,114 --> 00:22:51,513 You! You're my fucking problem! 506 00:22:51,515 --> 00:22:53,675 Me? What did I do? You won't shut up! 507 00:22:53,677 --> 00:22:56,078 I can't even hear myself think! This is a fucking hospital! 508 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,319 TEXAN: Yeah, it's a fucking hospital. 509 00:22:57,321 --> 00:22:58,800 It's not a fucking library! 510 00:22:58,802 --> 00:23:00,883 I'm helping this fuck, man. He's trapped in there. 511 00:23:00,885 --> 00:23:02,164 Where's your humanity? 512 00:23:02,166 --> 00:23:04,326 Oh, you're bringing him out of his shell, are you? 513 00:23:04,328 --> 00:23:05,968 Come on, guys. Stay out of it, buddy. 514 00:23:05,970 --> 00:23:08,050 I just want some peace and quiet. 515 00:23:08,052 --> 00:23:09,331 We all do. 516 00:23:09,333 --> 00:23:11,133 We're all just trying to fucking convalesce here. 517 00:23:11,135 --> 00:23:13,856 Oh, okay, you've been elected ward spokesman now, 518 00:23:13,858 --> 00:23:15,377 is that right, numb nuts? 519 00:23:15,379 --> 00:23:16,859 [clattering] 520 00:23:16,861 --> 00:23:18,220 You want a piece of me? Not really. 521 00:23:18,222 --> 00:23:19,822 Well, you're gonna get one. Okay, then. 522 00:23:19,824 --> 00:23:21,023 Okay, then. Great. 523 00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,024 Great. 524 00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:23,345 [both grunting] 525 00:23:23,347 --> 00:23:24,386 [clattering] 526 00:23:24,388 --> 00:23:26,068 [men shouting] YOSSARIAN: I'll kill ya! 527 00:23:26,070 --> 00:23:29,231 Hey, hey! What is going on here? 528 00:23:29,233 --> 00:23:30,873 Hey! Knock it off! 529 00:23:30,875 --> 00:23:32,877 YOSSARIAN: Ah, I'll kill you! 530 00:23:34,559 --> 00:23:36,921 That's it, Yossarian. You're out of here! 531 00:23:40,324 --> 00:23:42,845 What? 532 00:23:42,847 --> 00:23:45,287 MAN: Son of a bitch! Let's go! 533 00:23:45,289 --> 00:23:48,531 MAN: Yo-Yo, come on, are we close yet? 534 00:23:48,533 --> 00:23:51,173 MAN: Yossarian, where we at? 535 00:23:51,175 --> 00:23:54,136 MAN: Clear, 053. Closing in 3,200. 536 00:23:54,138 --> 00:23:56,138 [booming] 537 00:23:56,140 --> 00:23:57,260 MAN: You got fire. Are you okay? 538 00:23:57,262 --> 00:23:58,741 MAN: Yo-Yo, we almost there? 539 00:23:58,743 --> 00:24:00,182 MAN: We're holding. 540 00:24:00,184 --> 00:24:01,904 MAN: Open them up! Open them up! 541 00:24:01,906 --> 00:24:03,105 [rumbling] 542 00:24:03,107 --> 00:24:06,108 Fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ. 543 00:24:06,110 --> 00:24:07,470 Jeez! 544 00:24:07,472 --> 00:24:10,032 Ooh, fuck! Ooh, fuck! 545 00:24:10,034 --> 00:24:13,116 MAN: Yeah, we're coming up on it now. 546 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:15,678 All right, just hold steady right there. 547 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,480 MAN: We're over it now. We gotta drop. 548 00:24:17,482 --> 00:24:18,801 Let's go. Open them up. 549 00:24:18,803 --> 00:24:20,923 [dramatic music] 550 00:24:20,925 --> 00:24:22,245 Coming up on your left, Yossarian. 551 00:24:22,247 --> 00:24:23,606 Are you holding steady? 552 00:24:23,608 --> 00:24:26,649 MAN: We're sitting right on top of them, Yo-Yo! 553 00:24:26,651 --> 00:24:27,891 Yo-Yo! 554 00:24:27,893 --> 00:24:29,052 Drop them, Yo-Yo! 555 00:24:29,054 --> 00:24:31,094 ♪ ♪ 556 00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:32,095 Release. 557 00:24:32,097 --> 00:24:34,457 [plane engines roaring] 558 00:24:34,459 --> 00:24:37,821 [booming] 559 00:24:37,823 --> 00:24:39,262 [bell dings] 560 00:24:39,264 --> 00:24:42,307 [motorcycle engine puttering] 561 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:48,311 MAN: Now I push. 562 00:24:48,313 --> 00:24:50,073 MAN: Okay. Forget it. 563 00:24:50,075 --> 00:24:51,474 Fold, I'm out. 564 00:24:51,476 --> 00:24:53,076 What? Hey, you know, it's funny. 565 00:24:53,078 --> 00:24:55,318 You would've thought I would've been more of a problem, but... 566 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,320 [all shouting] 567 00:24:57,322 --> 00:24:58,521 MAN: Come on. MAN: Not fair! 568 00:24:58,523 --> 00:25:00,724 MAN: Come on. 569 00:25:00,726 --> 00:25:02,606 Very nice. Very clean. 570 00:25:02,608 --> 00:25:03,607 Bellissimo. 571 00:25:03,609 --> 00:25:05,569 Leave her alone, Aarfy. 572 00:25:05,571 --> 00:25:07,531 AARFY: I'm just saying, she's very clean. 573 00:25:07,533 --> 00:25:09,252 What's your name, honey? 574 00:25:09,254 --> 00:25:12,175 Uh, what is it? [speaking Italian] 575 00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:14,858 Um... [speaking Italian] 576 00:25:14,860 --> 00:25:16,259 [speaking Italian] 577 00:25:16,261 --> 00:25:18,061 Michaela. That's very nice. 578 00:25:18,063 --> 00:25:20,103 Me and you should go for a walk sometime, Michaela. 579 00:25:20,105 --> 00:25:21,264 MICHAELA: Scusi? 580 00:25:21,266 --> 00:25:23,387 AARFY: We should go for a walk sometime! 581 00:25:23,389 --> 00:25:25,188 You look like Bette Davis. 582 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:27,471 Oh, give it a rest, Aarfy. She doesn't understand you. 583 00:25:27,473 --> 00:25:28,992 [indistinct chatter] 584 00:25:28,994 --> 00:25:31,074 Gentlemen. 585 00:25:31,076 --> 00:25:33,078 No, no, sit down. 586 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,839 So how are we? 587 00:25:35,841 --> 00:25:39,123 Enjoying our rest and recreation in the eternal city? 588 00:25:39,125 --> 00:25:40,804 SAMPSON: Oh, yes, sir. We are, sir. 589 00:25:40,806 --> 00:25:44,007 Oh, what's on the dance card for this evening? 590 00:25:44,009 --> 00:25:47,131 Uh, Nately lost his mind to a woman of the night. 591 00:25:47,133 --> 00:25:49,695 [laughter] 592 00:25:50,576 --> 00:25:52,896 She's, like, the most real person 593 00:25:52,898 --> 00:25:55,099 that I've ever met, Yo-Yo. 594 00:25:55,101 --> 00:25:58,222 She tries to speak English. 595 00:25:58,224 --> 00:26:02,146 She gets the words wrong and we laugh. 596 00:26:02,148 --> 00:26:05,149 We just laugh a lot. 597 00:26:05,151 --> 00:26:08,272 ♪ [Rex Stuart's "My Sunday Gal"] 598 00:26:08,274 --> 00:26:10,875 Yeah, we talked all night. How does that happen? 599 00:26:10,877 --> 00:26:13,317 You know, I've got this phrase book, 600 00:26:13,319 --> 00:26:14,999 but it's not like I'm looking at the phrase book 601 00:26:15,001 --> 00:26:16,080 every two seconds. 602 00:26:16,082 --> 00:26:18,763 We just talk. 603 00:26:18,765 --> 00:26:20,444 You know, it's some of her words. 604 00:26:20,446 --> 00:26:21,806 It's some of my words. 605 00:26:21,808 --> 00:26:26,290 We put them together, and somehow it all makes sense. 606 00:26:26,292 --> 00:26:28,572 We cuddle. 607 00:26:28,574 --> 00:26:30,134 We fuck, yeah. 608 00:26:30,136 --> 00:26:32,256 [laughs] It's crazy. 609 00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:35,660 She's just, like, a real person. 610 00:26:35,662 --> 00:26:42,669 ♪ ♪ 611 00:27:10,177 --> 00:27:12,417 MARCELLO: America will lose the war, my friend. 612 00:27:12,419 --> 00:27:15,580 And Italy will win it. 613 00:27:15,582 --> 00:27:18,022 America is the strongest 614 00:27:18,024 --> 00:27:20,024 and most prosperous nation on Earth, 615 00:27:20,026 --> 00:27:22,707 and the American fighting man is second to none. 616 00:27:22,709 --> 00:27:25,590 Why do you think we are here and the Germans are on the run? 617 00:27:25,592 --> 00:27:30,395 And Italy, on the other hand, is one of the least prosperous 618 00:27:30,397 --> 00:27:32,157 nations on Earth. 619 00:27:32,159 --> 00:27:35,881 And the Italian fighting man is probably second to all. 620 00:27:35,883 --> 00:27:39,324 And that's exactly why my country is doing so well 621 00:27:39,326 --> 00:27:43,971 in this war while your country is doing so poorly. 622 00:27:44,812 --> 00:27:47,012 The Germans have been driven out now, 623 00:27:47,014 --> 00:27:49,694 as you so correctly observe. 624 00:27:49,696 --> 00:27:52,617 In a few months, you will be gone too. 625 00:27:52,619 --> 00:27:54,940 And we will still be here. 626 00:27:54,942 --> 00:27:57,182 Oh, amen to that. 627 00:27:57,184 --> 00:28:02,547 You see, Italy is really a very poor and weak country. 628 00:28:02,549 --> 00:28:06,592 And that's what makes us so strong. 629 00:28:06,594 --> 00:28:08,914 Italian soldiers are not dying anymore, 630 00:28:08,916 --> 00:28:11,957 but American and German soldiers are, no? 631 00:28:11,959 --> 00:28:14,800 I call that doing extremely well. 632 00:28:14,802 --> 00:28:16,201 [laughs] 633 00:28:16,203 --> 00:28:20,045 Italy will survive this war and still be in existence 634 00:28:20,047 --> 00:28:24,011 long after your own country has been destroyed. 635 00:28:24,772 --> 00:28:27,735 America is not going to be destroyed. 636 00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:30,496 I wish for your sake it were true. 637 00:28:30,498 --> 00:28:32,418 For your beliefs. 638 00:28:32,420 --> 00:28:37,623 Because America is a very great and noble idea. 639 00:28:37,625 --> 00:28:38,824 You're too right. It is. 640 00:28:38,826 --> 00:28:40,666 Yeah, it's a wonderful idea. 641 00:28:40,668 --> 00:28:43,949 But Rome was destroyed. Greece was destroyed. 642 00:28:43,951 --> 00:28:47,513 Persia was destroyed. Spain was destroyed. 643 00:28:47,515 --> 00:28:51,757 All great empires are destroyed. 644 00:28:51,759 --> 00:28:53,399 Why not yours? 645 00:28:53,401 --> 00:28:55,481 We are gonna survive and triumph 646 00:28:55,483 --> 00:28:57,123 for a long, long time. 647 00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,524 [chuckles] 648 00:28:58,526 --> 00:29:00,926 You put so much stock in winning. 649 00:29:00,928 --> 00:29:05,331 But listen, the real trick is losing wars. 650 00:29:05,333 --> 00:29:07,573 Uh, in knowing which wars can be lost. 651 00:29:07,575 --> 00:29:10,416 [laughs] You talk like a madman. 652 00:29:10,418 --> 00:29:13,179 But I live like a sane one. 653 00:29:13,181 --> 00:29:16,943 I was a fascist when Mussolini was on top, 654 00:29:16,945 --> 00:29:21,587 and I am an anti-fascist now he has been deposed. 655 00:29:21,589 --> 00:29:25,712 I was fanatically pro-German when the Germans were here 656 00:29:25,714 --> 00:29:28,114 to protect us against the Americans. 657 00:29:28,116 --> 00:29:30,436 And now the Americans are here to protect us 658 00:29:30,438 --> 00:29:33,962 against the Germans, I'm fanatically pro-American. 659 00:29:35,083 --> 00:29:37,443 I assure you that you and your country 660 00:29:37,445 --> 00:29:41,888 will have no more loyal partisan in Italy than me. 661 00:29:41,890 --> 00:29:44,733 But only for as long as you remain. 662 00:29:46,735 --> 00:29:48,535 Don't you have any principles? 663 00:29:48,537 --> 00:29:49,816 Of course not. 664 00:29:49,818 --> 00:29:51,297 CLEVINGER: No morality? 665 00:29:51,299 --> 00:29:55,782 Oh-ho, no. I'm a very, very moral man. 666 00:29:55,784 --> 00:29:58,066 And you have good taste in brandy. 667 00:29:59,748 --> 00:30:01,267 One does one's best. 668 00:30:01,269 --> 00:30:03,312 CLARA: Marcello. 669 00:30:09,678 --> 00:30:11,558 Yo-Yo, you gotta convince her to stay with me. 670 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,521 Just tell him to tell her that I'm good for it. 671 00:30:14,523 --> 00:30:16,723 Or--or--or lend me some money. How you doing for cash? 672 00:30:16,725 --> 00:30:19,726 I spent $640 on 32 hours straight. 673 00:30:19,728 --> 00:30:20,927 How did I do that? 674 00:30:20,929 --> 00:30:22,329 Well, love did. That's what love does. 675 00:30:22,331 --> 00:30:23,530 NATELY: What am I gonna do? 676 00:30:23,532 --> 00:30:24,691 YOSSARIAN: Didn't your dad give you money? 677 00:30:24,693 --> 00:30:26,293 I love him. Can you--can you-- 678 00:30:26,295 --> 00:30:27,574 He did. He gave me money. 679 00:30:27,576 --> 00:30:29,977 But that's already gone. I mean, what have I done? 680 00:30:29,979 --> 00:30:31,818 Oh, 32 hours, who knows? 681 00:30:31,820 --> 00:30:32,819 [laughter] 682 00:30:32,821 --> 00:30:34,823 Clarina. Mm? 683 00:30:38,387 --> 00:30:40,948 MARCELLO: Oh. What's your name? 684 00:30:40,950 --> 00:30:42,309 I'm Nately, sir. 685 00:30:42,311 --> 00:30:45,432 Nately... because it's Sunday, 686 00:30:45,434 --> 00:30:47,434 because you-- you are a nice boy, 687 00:30:47,436 --> 00:30:50,477 I give you two hours because you make happy 688 00:30:50,479 --> 00:30:52,119 my little Clarina. 689 00:30:52,121 --> 00:30:54,601 Two hours? W-we have-- 690 00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:55,723 we have two hours? 691 00:30:55,725 --> 00:30:56,964 [laughs] MARCELLO: Yeah. 692 00:30:56,966 --> 00:30:59,086 It's a gift from the people of Italy. 693 00:30:59,088 --> 00:31:00,327 Go. 694 00:31:00,329 --> 00:31:02,331 Thank you. Thank you, sir. 695 00:31:02,932 --> 00:31:05,012 Eh, si. Bye, bye, bye, bye. 696 00:31:05,014 --> 00:31:06,133 [laughs] Come on. 697 00:31:06,135 --> 00:31:08,137 MARCELLO: Bye. 698 00:31:08,818 --> 00:31:10,057 [both laugh] 699 00:31:10,059 --> 00:31:11,418 He won't need two hours. 700 00:31:11,420 --> 00:31:13,082 [both laugh] 701 00:31:24,634 --> 00:31:26,636 What have you got there? 702 00:31:33,523 --> 00:31:36,844 I, uh-- I don't speak Italian, honey. 703 00:31:36,846 --> 00:31:39,008 What's, uh-- what's your name? 704 00:31:42,372 --> 00:31:44,452 Smoke. Smoke. 705 00:31:44,454 --> 00:31:45,853 Yeah, I'm-- I'm good for cigarettes. 706 00:31:45,855 --> 00:31:47,857 Thanks. 707 00:31:53,383 --> 00:31:54,702 I don't-- [chuckles] 708 00:31:54,704 --> 00:31:57,465 I don't--I don't speak-- what's-- 709 00:31:57,467 --> 00:32:00,188 what's your--what's your name? You? 710 00:32:00,190 --> 00:32:01,829 Your name. 711 00:32:01,831 --> 00:32:02,950 Ines. 712 00:32:02,952 --> 00:32:05,553 Ines. Well, that's a beautiful name. 713 00:32:05,555 --> 00:32:07,395 You? Me, I'm Yo-Yo. 714 00:32:07,397 --> 00:32:08,396 Yo-Yo. 715 00:32:08,398 --> 00:32:10,238 Yo-Yo. Yo-Yo. 716 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,080 Yo-Yo. [chuckles] Yeah. 717 00:32:12,082 --> 00:32:14,282 Hey, Ines, where's, uh-- where's your mom and dad? 718 00:32:14,284 --> 00:32:16,286 Your, uh--your parents? 719 00:32:17,407 --> 00:32:19,607 Uh, okay. 720 00:32:19,609 --> 00:32:23,171 Well, how much for this? 721 00:32:23,173 --> 00:32:25,253 [speaking Italian] 722 00:32:25,255 --> 00:32:27,535 Lira? 723 00:32:27,537 --> 00:32:29,497 Good God, Ines. 724 00:32:29,499 --> 00:32:31,499 You're a tough operator. 725 00:32:31,501 --> 00:32:34,863 Uh, all right. 726 00:32:34,865 --> 00:32:37,746 Find a use for this, I guess, somehow. 727 00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:39,750 [laughs] 728 00:32:44,194 --> 00:32:46,957 All right, kid. Thank you. 729 00:32:48,038 --> 00:32:52,601 Hey, uh, go home to your, uh, parents or... 730 00:32:52,603 --> 00:32:54,523 yeah. 731 00:32:54,525 --> 00:32:56,405 All right, good, good. 732 00:32:56,407 --> 00:32:59,688 All right, fellas! I hope you like dried herring. 733 00:32:59,690 --> 00:33:01,410 Hey, you going back to Pianosa? 734 00:33:01,412 --> 00:33:02,971 Can we hitch a ride? Where's yours? 735 00:33:02,973 --> 00:33:04,052 I dunno. 736 00:33:04,054 --> 00:33:05,253 That's what we're waiting to find out. 737 00:33:05,255 --> 00:33:07,135 Well, mine's already full. 738 00:33:07,137 --> 00:33:09,017 You hear Cathcart's raised the missions again? 739 00:33:09,019 --> 00:33:10,018 Huh? 740 00:33:10,020 --> 00:33:11,580 You mean last month, to 35. 741 00:33:11,582 --> 00:33:13,542 No, I mean yesterday to 40. 742 00:33:13,544 --> 00:33:14,783 Are you serious? 743 00:33:14,785 --> 00:33:15,944 MILO: Oh, shit, guys. 744 00:33:15,946 --> 00:33:17,186 I thought you would have already have heard. 745 00:33:17,188 --> 00:33:18,387 How would we have heard? 746 00:33:18,389 --> 00:33:21,870 [plane engines chopping] 747 00:33:21,872 --> 00:33:23,112 [bell dings] 748 00:33:23,114 --> 00:33:26,115 [dramatic music] 749 00:33:26,117 --> 00:33:33,124 ♪ ♪ 750 00:33:41,252 --> 00:33:43,612 NATELY: Hey, she's not a whore. MAN: She's not a whore. 751 00:33:43,614 --> 00:33:45,054 NATELY: I told you not to call her that. 752 00:33:45,056 --> 00:33:46,495 MAN: No, she's a librarian. 753 00:33:46,497 --> 00:33:47,937 MAN: She takes money for sex. 754 00:33:47,939 --> 00:33:49,458 Nately, she's a whore. 755 00:33:49,460 --> 00:33:52,822 ♪ ♪ 756 00:33:52,824 --> 00:33:55,064 [tires squealing] 757 00:33:55,066 --> 00:34:02,073 ♪ ♪ 758 00:34:04,115 --> 00:34:06,395 YOSSARIAN: Am I supposed to get my ass shot off 759 00:34:06,397 --> 00:34:08,237 because Cathcart wants to become a general? 760 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:09,478 What about the men on the mainland? 761 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,920 Our boys on the ground, are they supposed to get 762 00:34:10,922 --> 00:34:13,242 their asses shot off just because you don't want to fly? 763 00:34:13,244 --> 00:34:15,004 Those boys are entitled to air support. 764 00:34:15,006 --> 00:34:17,607 Our boys on the ground. Would you listen to yourself? 765 00:34:17,609 --> 00:34:19,609 Now you're even talking like Cathcart. 766 00:34:19,611 --> 00:34:21,651 Yes, they're entitled to our support. 767 00:34:21,653 --> 00:34:25,334 But not necessarily by me. Not me specifically. 768 00:34:25,336 --> 00:34:27,897 The only reason we're still flying is not for some-- 769 00:34:27,899 --> 00:34:29,459 for some noble purpose. 770 00:34:29,461 --> 00:34:31,781 It's because that bastard keeps raising our missions. 771 00:34:31,783 --> 00:34:33,903 Listen, you know very well that I don't approve 772 00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:35,785 of Colonel Cathcart any more than you do. 773 00:34:35,787 --> 00:34:38,067 But it is not for us to determine what targets 774 00:34:38,069 --> 00:34:39,789 must be destroyed or who's to destroy them or what's-- 775 00:34:39,791 --> 00:34:41,431 Or who gets killed doing them and why? 776 00:34:41,433 --> 00:34:43,112 Yes, even that. We have no right to question-- 777 00:34:43,114 --> 00:34:44,634 Oh, you're insane. No right to question the-- 778 00:34:44,636 --> 00:34:46,356 Do you really mean that it's none of my business 779 00:34:46,358 --> 00:34:49,279 how or why I get killed and that it is Cathcart's? 780 00:34:49,281 --> 00:34:51,361 Do you really mean that? Yes, I do. 781 00:34:51,363 --> 00:34:53,082 There are men entrusted with winning the war 782 00:34:53,084 --> 00:34:54,844 who are in a much better position than we are 783 00:34:54,846 --> 00:34:56,726 to decide what targets have to be bombed 784 00:34:56,728 --> 00:34:58,408 and who has to do it. 785 00:34:58,410 --> 00:35:00,330 Okay, we're talking about two different things. 786 00:35:00,332 --> 00:35:02,292 You're talking about the relationship 787 00:35:02,294 --> 00:35:03,613 of the Air Corps to the Infantry. 788 00:35:03,615 --> 00:35:05,015 Yeah. 789 00:35:05,017 --> 00:35:06,056 And I'm talking about the relationship 790 00:35:06,058 --> 00:35:07,577 of me to Cathcart. 791 00:35:07,579 --> 00:35:09,459 You're talking about winning the war. 792 00:35:09,461 --> 00:35:12,382 And I'm talking about winning the war and keeping me alive. 793 00:35:12,384 --> 00:35:13,463 Exactly. 794 00:35:13,465 --> 00:35:14,985 And which do you think is more important? 795 00:35:14,987 --> 00:35:17,147 What? Open your eyes! 796 00:35:17,149 --> 00:35:19,549 Clevinger, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference 797 00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:21,271 who wins the war to someone who's dead. 798 00:35:21,273 --> 00:35:22,552 Congratulations. 799 00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:24,114 I can't think of another attitude that could be 800 00:35:24,116 --> 00:35:27,037 depended upon to give greater comfort to the enemy. 801 00:35:27,039 --> 00:35:30,280 The enemy is anybody who's gonna get you killed 802 00:35:30,282 --> 00:35:33,163 no matter which side he's on, and that includes Cathcart. 803 00:35:33,165 --> 00:35:35,085 And don't you forget that, 'cause the longer 804 00:35:35,087 --> 00:35:36,767 you remember it, the longer you might live. 805 00:35:36,769 --> 00:35:38,769 I want to live. Don't get me wrong. 806 00:35:38,771 --> 00:35:41,611 Then listen to me! Listen to Yo-Yo! 807 00:35:41,613 --> 00:35:44,695 I continually give you sound, lifesaving advice. 808 00:35:44,697 --> 00:35:46,336 I am helping you live. 809 00:35:46,338 --> 00:35:50,541 And you continue to recklessly operate on fucking principle. 810 00:35:50,543 --> 00:35:52,102 To my dying day. 811 00:35:52,104 --> 00:35:54,907 [plane engines roaring] 812 00:35:58,230 --> 00:36:00,673 [car engine revving] 813 00:36:02,114 --> 00:36:05,916 ♪ [Rosemary Clooney's "No Love, No Nothin'"] 814 00:36:05,918 --> 00:36:10,721 CLOONEY: ♪ No love, no nothing ♪ 815 00:36:10,723 --> 00:36:12,242 ♪ ♪ 816 00:36:12,244 --> 00:36:16,407 ♪ Until my baby comes home ♪ 817 00:36:16,409 --> 00:36:20,691 ♪ No, sir, no nothing ♪ 818 00:36:20,693 --> 00:36:22,453 ♪ ♪ 819 00:36:22,455 --> 00:36:26,777 ♪ As long as baby must roam ♪ 820 00:36:26,779 --> 00:36:31,742 ♪ I promised him I'd wait for him ♪ 821 00:36:31,744 --> 00:36:36,387 ♪ Till even Hades froze ♪ 822 00:36:36,389 --> 00:36:41,312 ♪ I'm lonesome, heaven knows ♪ 823 00:36:41,314 --> 00:36:46,277 ♪ But what I said still goes ♪ 824 00:36:46,279 --> 00:36:50,601 ♪ No love, no nothing ♪ 825 00:36:50,603 --> 00:36:52,283 ♪ ♪ 826 00:36:52,285 --> 00:36:56,047 ♪ And that's a promise I'll keep ♪ 827 00:36:56,049 --> 00:37:00,571 ♪ No fun with no one ♪ 828 00:37:00,573 --> 00:37:02,173 ♪ ♪ 829 00:37:02,175 --> 00:37:06,137 ♪ I'm getting plenty of sleep ♪ 830 00:37:06,139 --> 00:37:11,142 ♪ My heart's on strike and though it's like ♪ 831 00:37:11,144 --> 00:37:14,545 ♪ An empty honeycomb ♪ 832 00:37:14,547 --> 00:37:15,747 ♪ ♪ 833 00:37:15,749 --> 00:37:19,550 ♪ No love, no, sir, no nothing ♪ 834 00:37:19,552 --> 00:37:22,313 ♪ Till my baby comes home ♪ 835 00:37:22,315 --> 00:37:29,322 ♪ ♪ 836 00:37:33,767 --> 00:37:35,326 [water splashes] 837 00:37:35,328 --> 00:37:42,336 ♪ ♪ 838 00:37:59,112 --> 00:38:02,794 [plane engines roaring] 839 00:38:02,796 --> 00:38:05,157 And we buy from this syndicate? 840 00:38:05,159 --> 00:38:07,079 Yes, the fundamental principle is, 841 00:38:07,081 --> 00:38:08,400 everybody has a share. 842 00:38:08,402 --> 00:38:10,522 And it's that mass purchasing power that makes 843 00:38:10,524 --> 00:38:13,085 the big difference. For example, lamb chops. 844 00:38:13,087 --> 00:38:14,526 I heard about those lamb chops. 845 00:38:14,528 --> 00:38:16,248 Oh, then you'll have heard they're the best 846 00:38:16,250 --> 00:38:17,569 the black market has to offer. 847 00:38:17,571 --> 00:38:20,132 They're going for a song in Scotland. 848 00:38:20,134 --> 00:38:21,773 I can't send a plane to Scotland. 849 00:38:21,775 --> 00:38:23,135 I don't have the authority for that. 850 00:38:23,137 --> 00:38:25,257 I can if you lend me a plane. 851 00:38:25,259 --> 00:38:27,059 And then, colonel, there's Polish sausage 852 00:38:27,061 --> 00:38:29,862 that goes for peanuts in Cracow. 853 00:38:29,864 --> 00:38:33,065 Cracow's hundreds of miles behind enemy lines. 854 00:38:33,067 --> 00:38:34,466 How would you get to the sausage? 855 00:38:34,468 --> 00:38:36,668 There's an international Polish sausage exchange 856 00:38:36,670 --> 00:38:37,750 in Geneva. 857 00:38:37,752 --> 00:38:40,112 I'll just fly the peanuts into Switzerland 858 00:38:40,114 --> 00:38:41,754 and exchange them for Polish sausage 859 00:38:41,756 --> 00:38:43,115 at the open market rate. 860 00:38:43,117 --> 00:38:44,997 They'll fly the peanuts back to Cracow. 861 00:38:44,999 --> 00:38:46,959 I'll fly the Polish sausage back to you. 862 00:38:46,961 --> 00:38:49,001 You buy only as much Polish sausage as you want 863 00:38:49,003 --> 00:38:50,042 from the syndicate. 864 00:38:50,044 --> 00:38:51,884 There will be the tangerines too. 865 00:38:51,886 --> 00:38:54,006 And eggs from Malta and scotch from Sicily. 866 00:38:54,008 --> 00:38:55,367 You'll be paying the money to yourself 867 00:38:55,369 --> 00:38:57,329 from the syndicate since you'll own a share. 868 00:38:57,331 --> 00:38:59,934 So really you'll be getting everything you buy for nothing. 869 00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:03,257 Doesn't that make sense? 870 00:39:07,181 --> 00:39:10,224 [plane engines rumbling] 871 00:39:17,111 --> 00:39:19,954 So you're helping the boys on the ground after all. 872 00:39:22,957 --> 00:39:25,398 Helping the boys on the ground. 873 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,283 CLEVINGER: Good for you, Yo-Yo. Good for you. 874 00:39:29,604 --> 00:39:33,926 ♪ Yankee Doodle went to town ♪ 875 00:39:33,928 --> 00:39:38,531 ♪ Riding on a pony ♪ 876 00:39:38,533 --> 00:39:43,136 ♪ Stuck a feather in his cap ♪ 877 00:39:43,138 --> 00:39:47,780 ♪ And called it macaroni ♪ 878 00:39:47,782 --> 00:39:49,462 ♪ Yankee Doodle ♪ 879 00:39:49,464 --> 00:39:52,065 ♪ Keep it up ♪ 880 00:39:52,067 --> 00:39:55,949 ♪ Yankee Doodle dandy ♪ 881 00:39:55,951 --> 00:39:58,791 ♪ Mind the music and the step ♪ 882 00:39:58,793 --> 00:40:00,353 YOSSARIAN: And... 883 00:40:00,355 --> 00:40:01,474 CLEVINGER: ♪ And with the girls ♪ 884 00:40:01,476 --> 00:40:04,317 Bombs away. CLEVINGER: ♪ Be handy ♪ 885 00:40:04,319 --> 00:40:08,121 ♪ Yankee Doodle is a tune ♪ 886 00:40:08,123 --> 00:40:12,405 ♪ That comes in mighty handy ♪ 887 00:40:12,407 --> 00:40:16,369 ♪ The enemy all runs away at ♪ 888 00:40:16,371 --> 00:40:18,531 ♪ Ya-- ♪ 889 00:40:18,533 --> 00:40:21,014 [booming] 890 00:40:21,016 --> 00:40:22,936 MCWATT: That's it for another day, gentlemen. 891 00:40:22,938 --> 00:40:24,017 We are heading home. 892 00:40:24,019 --> 00:40:26,459 We are out of here, "Laden Maiden." 893 00:40:26,461 --> 00:40:29,504 [plane engine rumbling] 894 00:40:33,228 --> 00:40:36,269 [dramatic music] 895 00:40:36,271 --> 00:40:39,152 ♪ ♪ 896 00:40:39,154 --> 00:40:40,754 Did you hear something, McWatt? 897 00:40:40,756 --> 00:40:43,316 MCWATT: Did I hear what? 898 00:40:43,318 --> 00:40:45,238 Are you getting "Laden Maiden"? 899 00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:47,200 [static hissing] 900 00:40:47,202 --> 00:40:48,802 MCWATT: Clevinger? 901 00:40:48,804 --> 00:40:51,084 Hey, Clevinger? You there, buddy? 902 00:40:51,086 --> 00:40:53,006 ♪ ♪ 903 00:40:53,008 --> 00:40:54,688 I think it's just the radio. 904 00:40:54,690 --> 00:40:59,813 ♪ ♪ 905 00:40:59,815 --> 00:41:01,655 Hey, has "Laden Maiden" landed? What? 906 00:41:01,657 --> 00:41:04,658 Has "Laden Maiden" come back? I don't know, sir. 907 00:41:04,660 --> 00:41:07,541 ♪ ♪ 908 00:41:07,543 --> 00:41:09,103 YOSSARIAN: Did "Laden Maiden" land? 909 00:41:09,105 --> 00:41:11,985 This is tower to Army, 7499. 910 00:41:11,987 --> 00:41:13,947 Are you receiving? Over. 911 00:41:13,949 --> 00:41:15,789 ♪ ♪ 912 00:41:15,791 --> 00:41:18,792 This is tower to Army, 7499. 913 00:41:18,794 --> 00:41:20,034 Are you receiving? Over. 914 00:41:20,036 --> 00:41:22,836 ♪ ♪ 915 00:41:22,838 --> 00:41:26,240 This is tower to Army, 7499. 916 00:41:26,242 --> 00:41:28,042 Are you receiving? Over. 917 00:41:28,044 --> 00:41:30,364 ♪ ♪ 918 00:41:30,366 --> 00:41:33,287 This is tower to Army, 7499. 919 00:41:33,289 --> 00:41:34,929 Are you receiving? Over. 920 00:41:34,931 --> 00:41:41,978 ♪ ♪ 921 00:42:00,076 --> 00:42:02,478 CHAPLAIN: Still no news on Clevinger? 922 00:42:04,921 --> 00:42:07,281 Nothing. 923 00:42:07,283 --> 00:42:10,124 It's 36 hours now. 924 00:42:10,126 --> 00:42:12,128 He's on the Missing in Action list. 925 00:42:14,290 --> 00:42:16,292 It's official. 926 00:42:18,415 --> 00:42:20,417 That's no good. 927 00:42:22,539 --> 00:42:25,460 You were with him in Santa Ana? 928 00:42:25,462 --> 00:42:27,464 Yeah, we went through the whole thing. 929 00:42:28,665 --> 00:42:30,667 Clevinger was... 930 00:42:32,309 --> 00:42:35,230 He was just good. 931 00:42:35,232 --> 00:42:37,234 Basically. 932 00:42:48,885 --> 00:42:50,845 CATHCART: Bologna, gentlemen. 933 00:42:50,847 --> 00:42:53,928 This is where the rubber hits the road. 934 00:42:53,930 --> 00:42:57,172 Enemy artillery are here, here, and here. 935 00:42:57,174 --> 00:42:59,534 But our raiders are not getting to them 936 00:42:59,536 --> 00:43:03,979 because they're being torn to shreds both here, here, 937 00:43:03,981 --> 00:43:05,901 and here. 938 00:43:05,903 --> 00:43:07,702 Our guess is, there are Howitzers 939 00:43:07,704 --> 00:43:10,545 based in those cave systems. 940 00:43:10,547 --> 00:43:17,072 Here, here, and, uh, eh, somewhere around there. 941 00:43:17,074 --> 00:43:18,593 Very difficult to pinpoint a target. 942 00:43:18,595 --> 00:43:20,395 It's basically a hole in the ground, 943 00:43:20,397 --> 00:43:22,439 as you men well know. 944 00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:27,404 Now...some of you will not be coming back. 945 00:43:30,247 --> 00:43:32,287 There's no other way of telling you that. 946 00:43:32,289 --> 00:43:36,612 Just basic statistics tell us that. 947 00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:41,096 So if any of you should find yourself on the wrong side 948 00:43:41,098 --> 00:43:43,819 of the statistics--and at the risk of stating the obvious-- 949 00:43:43,821 --> 00:43:47,743 I would like to point out that your sacrifice will not 950 00:43:47,745 --> 00:43:49,665 have been in vain. 951 00:43:49,667 --> 00:43:54,710 And if, in your final moments, you see death 952 00:43:54,712 --> 00:43:57,273 coming for you, think not of death. 953 00:43:57,275 --> 00:44:00,876 Think of the living. And know this. 954 00:44:00,878 --> 00:44:03,158 God damn it, the 27th Air Corps Division 955 00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:05,841 thanks you for your sacrifice, gentlemen. 956 00:44:05,843 --> 00:44:08,846 [breathing heavily] 957 00:44:11,609 --> 00:44:14,650 ♪ [The Mound City Blue Blowers' "I've Got My Fingers Crossed"] 958 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:21,617 ♪ ♪ 959 00:44:21,619 --> 00:44:24,620 MAN: ♪ I've got my fingers crossed ♪ 960 00:44:24,622 --> 00:44:27,183 ♪ Not that I'm superstitious ♪ 961 00:44:27,185 --> 00:44:30,066 ♪ I'm afraid it's too good to be true ♪ 962 00:44:30,068 --> 00:44:32,388 [whistling] 963 00:44:32,390 --> 00:44:34,790 ♪ I've got my fingers crossed ♪ 964 00:44:34,792 --> 00:44:37,473 ♪ No wonder I'm suspicious ♪ 965 00:44:37,475 --> 00:44:42,558 ♪ I'm so gay and skies are much too blue ♪ 966 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:47,563 ♪ Don't want no trouble with Old Man Trouble ♪ 967 00:44:47,565 --> 00:44:49,645 ♪ And that goes double ♪ 968 00:44:49,647 --> 00:44:51,728 ♪ On account of because I'm in love ♪ 969 00:44:51,730 --> 00:44:54,731 ♪ Why certainly I've got my fingers crossed ♪ 970 00:44:54,733 --> 00:44:57,614 MAN: ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ MAN: ♪ The thrill is so delicious ♪ 971 00:44:57,616 --> 00:45:00,697 ♪ I'm afraid it's too good to be true ♪ 972 00:45:00,699 --> 00:45:07,706 ♪ ♪ 973 00:45:48,147 --> 00:45:49,666 MAN: ♪ Oh, sure ♪ 974 00:45:49,668 --> 00:45:56,675 ♪ ♪ 975 00:45:56,677 --> 00:46:01,677 Subtitles by explosiveskull