1 00:00:11,817 --> 00:00:16,817 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:24,426 --> 00:00:27,067 For many of you, this Bologna mission 3 00:00:27,069 --> 00:00:29,310 will be your last. 4 00:00:29,312 --> 00:00:31,913 There's no other way of telling you that. 5 00:00:31,915 --> 00:00:35,356 Just basic statistics tell us that. 6 00:00:35,358 --> 00:00:37,559 So... 7 00:00:37,561 --> 00:00:39,120 if any of you should find yourself 8 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,523 on the wrong side of the statistics, 9 00:00:41,525 --> 00:00:43,325 and at the risk of stating the obvious, 10 00:00:43,327 --> 00:00:46,368 I would like to point out that your sacrifice 11 00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:49,053 will not have been in vain. 12 00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:57,621 [upbeat music] 13 00:00:57,623 --> 00:01:04,630 ♪ ♪ 14 00:01:18,285 --> 00:01:19,805 SOLDIER: Lorenzo, Leonardo! 15 00:01:19,807 --> 00:01:21,567 [men speaking Italian] 16 00:01:21,569 --> 00:01:23,128 SOLDIER: Good, good. 17 00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:26,092 ♪ ♪ 18 00:01:26,094 --> 00:01:28,534 Yossarian! Lovely to see you. 19 00:01:28,536 --> 00:01:29,856 Hi, Milo. How's tricks? 20 00:01:29,858 --> 00:01:31,578 Good. Try that soup. 21 00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:32,699 Gianni. GIANNI: Huh? 22 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:34,501 Give Yossarian a spoonful of that zuppa. 23 00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:36,505 GIANNI: [speaks Italian] 24 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,710 Wait till you try this. 25 00:01:47,597 --> 00:01:49,437 My God, Milo. 26 00:01:49,439 --> 00:01:51,199 Tell me that's not the best tomato soup you've ever had. 27 00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:53,161 That's the best tomato soup I ever had. 28 00:01:53,163 --> 00:01:55,484 Jesus, those Italians can cook, 29 00:01:55,486 --> 00:01:57,085 even the little ones. 30 00:01:57,087 --> 00:01:58,927 I gotta go to Wales today. 31 00:01:58,929 --> 00:02:00,970 We got something really special coming from there. 32 00:02:00,972 --> 00:02:02,974 You won't believe it. 33 00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:07,096 Hey, listen. 34 00:02:07,098 --> 00:02:08,538 I have to-- 35 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:09,939 I have to ask you something. 36 00:02:09,941 --> 00:02:12,823 Anything. What is it? 37 00:02:12,825 --> 00:02:16,747 What would you say if I asked you 38 00:02:16,749 --> 00:02:18,949 to put this... 39 00:02:18,951 --> 00:02:20,953 into that soup? 40 00:02:23,196 --> 00:02:25,797 Yossarian, those are laundry flakes. 41 00:02:25,799 --> 00:02:27,799 I don't want to fly Bologna, Milo. 42 00:02:27,801 --> 00:02:29,441 A whole lot of us are gonna die. 43 00:02:29,443 --> 00:02:32,084 Yo-Yo, you tasted this. It's a masterpiece. 44 00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,246 It is, and these are completely tasteless, man. 45 00:02:34,248 --> 00:02:36,528 I promise you. How do you know that? 46 00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:39,173 Trust me, I-- just trust me. 47 00:02:40,935 --> 00:02:42,735 This enterprise is built on my good name, 48 00:02:42,737 --> 00:02:44,097 and it's my job to uphold that name. 49 00:02:44,099 --> 00:02:46,419 Bologna's bad. It's gonna be really bad. 50 00:02:46,421 --> 00:02:47,901 And if we're sick for a couple days, 51 00:02:47,903 --> 00:02:50,624 the 10th Infantry will do the job for us on the ground. 52 00:02:50,626 --> 00:02:53,026 I'm the mess officer, Yo-Yo. It's a sacred office. 53 00:02:53,028 --> 00:02:54,828 My sacred duty is to keep you fed 54 00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:58,713 and well-nourished, not to make you grievously ill. 55 00:02:58,715 --> 00:03:01,796 Your sacred duty is to keep us alive. 56 00:03:01,798 --> 00:03:04,961 I'd rather be ill than dead. 57 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,407 Hey, uh, fellas. BOTH: Hey, Yo-Yo. 58 00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:13,849 Dinner tonight is very important. 59 00:03:13,851 --> 00:03:15,050 Don't eat the soup. Huh? 60 00:03:15,052 --> 00:03:16,212 The hell are you talking about? 61 00:03:16,214 --> 00:03:18,414 Just don't eat the soup, okay? 62 00:03:18,416 --> 00:03:20,616 KID: Okay. NATELY: No soup. 63 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:23,059 ♪ ♪ 64 00:03:23,061 --> 00:03:26,062 [indistinct chatter] 65 00:03:26,064 --> 00:03:33,112 ♪ ♪ 66 00:03:38,558 --> 00:03:41,601 [music stops, chatter continues] 67 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,924 Here's to Clevinger, guys. 68 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:47,606 ALL: To Clevinger. 69 00:03:47,608 --> 00:03:48,887 Clevinger. 70 00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:51,770 NATELY: Poor kid. 71 00:03:51,772 --> 00:03:54,653 Maybe he just kept flying, flew off to Switzerland. 72 00:03:54,655 --> 00:03:57,016 No, Clevinger wouldn't do that, not without telling us. 73 00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:58,858 Well, maybe we'll get a postcard. 74 00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:01,661 [laughs] 75 00:04:01,663 --> 00:04:04,024 You want to come to Switzerland with me, Yo-Yo? 76 00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,105 Visit Clevinger? 77 00:04:05,107 --> 00:04:06,787 I don't want to joke about Clevinger. 78 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:08,791 Okay. 79 00:04:10,953 --> 00:04:13,594 But want to come to Switzerland with me? 80 00:04:13,596 --> 00:04:15,837 Believe me, I thought about this. 81 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,518 AWOL isn't the answer, 82 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:18,960 not unless you want to spend 83 00:04:18,962 --> 00:04:20,802 the rest of your life as a fugitive. 84 00:04:20,804 --> 00:04:22,604 But it's all academic anyway 85 00:04:22,606 --> 00:04:24,766 'cause you never have enough gas to get anywhere useful. 86 00:04:24,768 --> 00:04:26,608 Well, but let's say you did have enough gas. 87 00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:28,010 Where would you go? 88 00:04:28,012 --> 00:04:29,652 Well, it wouldn't be Switzerland. 89 00:04:29,654 --> 00:04:31,534 The Swiss are legally obliged to lock you up. 90 00:04:31,536 --> 00:04:33,616 They're practically Germans. 91 00:04:33,618 --> 00:04:36,980 If you had enough gas, which you don't, 92 00:04:36,982 --> 00:04:39,823 your best bet would be to fly straight over Switzerland, 93 00:04:39,825 --> 00:04:41,424 head to Sweden. 94 00:04:41,426 --> 00:04:43,667 AARFY: That's what your research told you? 95 00:04:43,669 --> 00:04:45,229 Sweden's better than Switzerland. 96 00:04:45,231 --> 00:04:46,350 KID: Oh, why's that? 97 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,711 YOSSARIAN: Well, in Sweden, 98 00:04:47,713 --> 00:04:49,113 you can swim nude with beautiful girls 99 00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:50,514 with voices like honey. 100 00:04:50,516 --> 00:04:52,957 And, uh, you can sire whole happy tribes 101 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,198 of illegitimate Yossarians 102 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,880 with any number of Swedish women 103 00:04:55,882 --> 00:04:57,722 who you don't have to marry, 104 00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:59,564 and you can all live in the same house, 105 00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,406 and we all get along, 106 00:05:01,408 --> 00:05:05,370 and the state supplies free child birth, free education, 107 00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:06,892 and launches all the little Yossarians 108 00:05:06,894 --> 00:05:08,093 into a life without stigma. 109 00:05:08,095 --> 00:05:10,376 Everybody's happy, and all my wives love me. 110 00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:12,018 Do they really swim nude? 111 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,741 Totally nude, Kid Sampson. 112 00:05:14,743 --> 00:05:17,263 Totally nude. 113 00:05:17,265 --> 00:05:18,825 Sweet dreams tonight. 114 00:05:18,827 --> 00:05:20,907 Oh, boy. 115 00:05:20,909 --> 00:05:22,389 Yossarian? Hi. 116 00:05:22,391 --> 00:05:23,670 Hi. What do we know? 117 00:05:23,672 --> 00:05:25,312 About what? 118 00:05:25,314 --> 00:05:27,555 About the big book you were gonna read? 119 00:05:27,557 --> 00:05:28,556 What big book? 120 00:05:28,558 --> 00:05:31,399 The big book on how I get to go home. 121 00:05:31,401 --> 00:05:33,361 Oh, that one. Yeah, that one. 122 00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:35,964 Not much, and-- and I can't talk right now. 123 00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:38,927 Why not? 124 00:05:38,929 --> 00:05:41,370 What are you doing? 125 00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:43,052 What are you doing with your head? 126 00:05:43,054 --> 00:05:45,534 I can't talk in front of Cathcart. 127 00:05:45,536 --> 00:05:48,578 He's not listening. 128 00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:50,540 I'm making progress, but I can't talk right now. 129 00:05:50,542 --> 00:05:52,422 What progress? 130 00:05:52,424 --> 00:05:55,025 [sighs, whispering] I can't talk about it now. 131 00:05:55,027 --> 00:05:56,987 Christ. 132 00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:59,351 What progress? 133 00:06:06,279 --> 00:06:09,240 [jazz music] 134 00:06:09,242 --> 00:06:13,244 [men groaning] 135 00:06:13,246 --> 00:06:20,294 ♪ ♪ 136 00:06:24,058 --> 00:06:26,259 SOLDIER: Holy Christ! 137 00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,061 [man farts] 138 00:06:28,063 --> 00:06:30,343 [chuckling] 139 00:06:30,345 --> 00:06:33,627 ♪ ♪ 140 00:06:33,629 --> 00:06:34,988 How you boys bearing up? 141 00:06:34,990 --> 00:06:36,630 Oh, not so great, Doc. 142 00:06:36,632 --> 00:06:37,751 Hey, uh, there's no way in hell 143 00:06:37,753 --> 00:06:39,153 that Bologna's happening tomorrow, right? 144 00:06:39,155 --> 00:06:42,156 Oh, Bologna's off. 145 00:06:42,158 --> 00:06:48,243 ♪ ♪ 146 00:06:48,245 --> 00:06:52,367 "Don't eat the soup"! [laughing] 147 00:06:52,369 --> 00:06:53,608 MCWATT: You know they'll just be sending us 148 00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:55,090 straight back up there tomorrow. 149 00:06:55,092 --> 00:06:57,252 You'll thank me one day, McWatt. 150 00:06:57,254 --> 00:06:59,415 How long you think the squirts last? 151 00:06:59,417 --> 00:07:01,016 Huh? Couple days at most? 152 00:07:01,018 --> 00:07:04,300 We'll be right back up there day after tomorrow, latest. 153 00:07:04,302 --> 00:07:05,581 No, we won't. 154 00:07:05,583 --> 00:07:07,664 10th Infantry is headed to Bologna right now. 155 00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:09,426 They'll clean out those artillery guns for us. 156 00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:12,949 Oh, man, you really don't know how this works. 157 00:07:12,951 --> 00:07:15,112 I saw the charts. 10th is less than two days out. 158 00:07:15,114 --> 00:07:17,835 You really don't know how this works. 159 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,356 YOSSARIAN: I don't know how what works? 160 00:07:19,358 --> 00:07:20,558 MCWATT: Everything, Yossarian. 161 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,079 That's the point. What point? 162 00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:24,084 What's your point? Exactly. 163 00:07:26,566 --> 00:07:28,446 It's all a numbers game, 164 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,529 and when your number's up, your number's up. 165 00:07:30,531 --> 00:07:32,893 Screw your numbers, McWatt. 166 00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:39,901 MILO: Hey, Yossarian! Hey! 167 00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:43,423 Jump in. 168 00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:44,864 What the hell is this? 169 00:07:44,866 --> 00:07:46,426 I picked it up in Wales. 170 00:07:46,428 --> 00:07:47,827 I found a warehouse full. 171 00:07:47,829 --> 00:07:50,631 65 on land, 35 on water. 172 00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:53,794 When the war is done, I ship 'em to Minnesota. 173 00:07:53,796 --> 00:07:56,397 Hey, I got a bone to pick with you. 174 00:07:56,399 --> 00:07:58,839 They're still gonna send you to Bologna. 175 00:07:58,841 --> 00:08:00,481 So what was the point of yesterday? 176 00:08:00,483 --> 00:08:02,483 As soon as the men can hold their guts in, 177 00:08:02,485 --> 00:08:04,045 you're gonna go back to Bologna. 178 00:08:04,047 --> 00:08:06,047 Yeah, but this time, we got ground support. 179 00:08:06,049 --> 00:08:07,409 I got bad news for you, my friend. 180 00:08:07,411 --> 00:08:08,930 Your ground support has been rerouted 181 00:08:08,932 --> 00:08:10,652 from the Bologna road to the Argenti road, 182 00:08:10,654 --> 00:08:14,176 due to a mass illness on the Pianosa Air Base, 183 00:08:14,178 --> 00:08:16,218 but it's gonna be all right, pal. 184 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:18,223 [brakes squealing] 185 00:08:23,428 --> 00:08:26,472 [indistinct chatter] 186 00:08:28,153 --> 00:08:29,513 I need to see the Major. 187 00:08:29,515 --> 00:08:30,714 You can't see him right now, sir. 188 00:08:30,716 --> 00:08:31,715 Well, when can I see him? 189 00:08:31,717 --> 00:08:32,716 When he goes out to lunch. 190 00:08:32,718 --> 00:08:33,717 Then you can go right in. 191 00:08:33,719 --> 00:08:34,879 I'm sorry, say that again? 192 00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,120 TOWSER: Major Major never sees 193 00:08:36,122 --> 00:08:38,803 anyone in his office while he's in his office. 194 00:08:38,805 --> 00:08:40,445 So when are you saying I can see him? 195 00:08:40,447 --> 00:08:43,008 Pretty much never, sir. 196 00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:44,289 Hey, Major! 197 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,331 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, sir! 198 00:08:46,333 --> 00:08:48,776 Major! Come-- Sir! 199 00:09:03,352 --> 00:09:05,552 Yossarian. YOSSARIAN: Hi. 200 00:09:05,554 --> 00:09:07,554 Your man has lost his mind. 201 00:09:07,556 --> 00:09:09,516 Oh, him? He's--he's just-- 202 00:09:09,518 --> 00:09:11,961 YOSSARIAN: Oh, God. Jesus. 203 00:09:13,723 --> 00:09:16,444 [exhales sharply] 204 00:09:16,446 --> 00:09:18,767 So what's this progress you say you've made? 205 00:09:18,769 --> 00:09:21,610 What progress? The progress. 206 00:09:21,612 --> 00:09:23,732 You were going through the operations manual, 207 00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:25,854 and you told me the other night that you made progress. 208 00:09:25,856 --> 00:09:27,937 I haven't made any progress. 209 00:09:27,939 --> 00:09:30,341 Did you read it? It's very difficult to read. 210 00:09:33,384 --> 00:09:35,745 We can't fly Bologna. 211 00:09:35,747 --> 00:09:38,708 36 planes from other squadrons have already gone down 212 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,230 in the last ten days. 213 00:09:40,232 --> 00:09:42,272 It's a B-25 boneyard down there. 214 00:09:42,274 --> 00:09:44,394 Well, you wouldn't be normal if you weren't afraid. 215 00:09:44,396 --> 00:09:46,957 Even the bravest men experience fear. 216 00:09:46,959 --> 00:09:50,481 Let me ask you something. Why did you join up? 217 00:09:50,483 --> 00:09:52,403 Because it was the right thing--to do good. 218 00:09:52,405 --> 00:09:55,647 Exactly, and you can do good from right here. 219 00:09:55,649 --> 00:09:57,969 You can save lives from right here. 220 00:09:57,971 --> 00:09:59,050 I-I don't understand 221 00:09:59,052 --> 00:10:00,652 exactly what it is that you think I can do. 222 00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:03,655 You're a Major. You're Major Major Major Major. 223 00:10:03,657 --> 00:10:06,619 You can just sign things. Sign what? 224 00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:08,060 The form. What form? 225 00:10:08,062 --> 00:10:09,582 The form to stand us down. 226 00:10:09,584 --> 00:10:10,943 To stand you down, why? 227 00:10:10,945 --> 00:10:12,505 To stand us down, you know, 228 00:10:12,507 --> 00:10:16,229 for unreasonable risk to life and limb. 229 00:10:16,231 --> 00:10:17,991 I don't have the power to stand down a squadron 230 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:19,272 or even a crew. 231 00:10:19,274 --> 00:10:21,074 Then just me. Stand me down. 232 00:10:21,076 --> 00:10:23,477 Oh, s-suppose everybody felt that way. 233 00:10:23,479 --> 00:10:26,280 Then I'd certainly be a damn fool to feel any other way, 234 00:10:26,282 --> 00:10:28,042 wouldn't I? 235 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,805 So you want me to stand you down 236 00:10:30,807 --> 00:10:32,607 while your friends fly Bologna? 237 00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:33,808 Why not? 238 00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,810 It wouldn't be any more or less arbitrary 239 00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:39,575 than any other decision that gets made on my behalf. 240 00:10:39,577 --> 00:10:41,457 I'm not afraid of the Germans. 241 00:10:41,459 --> 00:10:43,699 I am afraid of Cathcart deciding 242 00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:45,861 that I need to fly more missions. 243 00:10:45,863 --> 00:10:47,824 I'm afraid of the person who decides 244 00:10:47,826 --> 00:10:50,066 where the bomb line goes on the map. 245 00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:51,948 Who is that person? 246 00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:54,110 And that's what it's come down to for us. 247 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:56,713 We're afraid of a line on a map. 248 00:10:56,715 --> 00:10:59,276 Do you know what that feels like? 249 00:10:59,278 --> 00:11:02,680 To be afraid of a piece of string? 250 00:11:02,682 --> 00:11:05,523 [instrumental music] 251 00:11:05,525 --> 00:11:12,572 ♪ ♪ 252 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,842 ORDERLY: Sorry to disturb you, sir. 253 00:12:17,844 --> 00:12:19,003 We've captured Bologna, sir. 254 00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,686 What-- Who's captured Bologna? 255 00:12:21,688 --> 00:12:23,087 I don't know, sir. 256 00:12:23,089 --> 00:12:24,569 I was in the briefing room, sir. 257 00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:28,055 The bomb line is now 60 miles north of Bologna. 258 00:12:31,699 --> 00:12:33,979 Thank you, Private. 259 00:12:33,981 --> 00:12:37,022 [upbeat jazz music] 260 00:12:37,024 --> 00:12:43,870 ♪ ♪ 261 00:12:43,872 --> 00:12:45,031 Sir. [shudders] 262 00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:46,833 Sir, it's me, sir--Korn. 263 00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:49,356 What is it, Korn? I'm sorry to wake you. 264 00:12:49,358 --> 00:12:50,878 But I thought you'd like to know. 265 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,561 We captured Bologna. [breathing heavily] 266 00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:55,483 When? Overnight, sir. 267 00:12:55,485 --> 00:13:00,048 The bomb line is now 60 miles north of the city. 268 00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,610 That's goddamn terrific. I thought so too. 269 00:13:02,612 --> 00:13:05,333 Yeah, so should I go ahead and cancel the mission? 270 00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:06,855 Of course you should cancel the mission. 271 00:13:06,857 --> 00:13:08,216 We're not gonna bomb our own men, are we? 272 00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:09,258 Of course-- of course not, sir. 273 00:13:09,260 --> 00:13:10,379 Of course not. 274 00:13:10,381 --> 00:13:12,741 Yo-Yo! 275 00:13:12,743 --> 00:13:14,103 Yo-Yo, wake up now! 276 00:13:14,105 --> 00:13:16,185 Hey, you want to hear some news? 277 00:13:16,187 --> 00:13:19,589 The 10th Infantry took Bologna. What? 278 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,751 They fucking took it overnight. 279 00:13:21,753 --> 00:13:25,275 Holy shit. Holy shit. 280 00:13:25,277 --> 00:13:28,118 NATELY: I get to see my girl! I'm going to Rome! 281 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:29,560 ♪ ♪ 282 00:13:29,562 --> 00:13:32,605 [indistinct chatter] 283 00:13:34,767 --> 00:13:38,850 MILO: [speaking Italian] 284 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:40,932 Which one of you is Milo Minderbinder? 285 00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,455 Oh, hello, Major. That'd be me. 286 00:13:43,457 --> 00:13:45,657 Oh, Mr. Lamb Chops. 287 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,419 That's right, sir. 288 00:13:47,421 --> 00:13:51,063 Well, now, why is it, son, that they tell me that all 289 00:13:51,065 --> 00:13:53,906 non-combat planes have to be requisitioned through you? 290 00:13:53,908 --> 00:13:55,428 Chain of command, sir. 291 00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:57,350 Emanuele, rapido, rapido. 292 00:13:57,352 --> 00:14:00,113 I need a plane to Bologna. Bologna? 293 00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:02,836 We have taken Bologna. I need to go to Bologna. 294 00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:04,478 MILO: We've taken Bologna? 295 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,922 Yes, son. We have taken Bologna. 296 00:14:07,924 --> 00:14:11,125 ♪ Shoo, shoo, shoo, baby ♪ 297 00:14:11,127 --> 00:14:13,367 ♪ Shoo, shoo, shoo, baby ♪ 298 00:14:13,369 --> 00:14:15,049 ♪ ♪ 299 00:14:15,051 --> 00:14:18,493 ♪ Bye, bye, bye, baby, do-dah, do-day ♪ 300 00:14:18,495 --> 00:14:21,777 ♪ Your papa's off to the seven seas ♪ 301 00:14:21,779 --> 00:14:24,019 ♪ Don't cry, baby ♪ 302 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:25,421 ♪ ♪ 303 00:14:25,423 --> 00:14:28,624 ♪ Don't sigh, baby ♪ 304 00:14:28,626 --> 00:14:32,428 ♪ Bye, bye, bye, baby, do-dah, do-day ♪ 305 00:14:32,430 --> 00:14:35,794 ♪ When I come back, we'll live a life of ease ♪ 306 00:14:43,642 --> 00:14:45,042 YOSSARIAN: I don't understand. 307 00:14:45,044 --> 00:14:46,443 Why don't you just pay for all three 308 00:14:46,445 --> 00:14:48,005 and send the other two away? 309 00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:49,687 Because then Clara will be angry with me 310 00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,249 for making her work 311 00:14:51,251 --> 00:14:53,051 and paying the others to have the night off. 312 00:14:53,053 --> 00:14:55,053 She says that if I really liked her, 313 00:14:55,055 --> 00:14:56,494 then I'd give her the night off 314 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:57,816 and go to bed with one of the others. 315 00:14:57,818 --> 00:14:59,458 And they're $30 each? 316 00:14:59,460 --> 00:15:02,421 Yeah, it's, uh, $30. 317 00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,743 $30 is a lot of money for pieces like these. 318 00:15:04,745 --> 00:15:06,545 Besides, I've never paid for it in my life. 319 00:15:06,547 --> 00:15:07,546 No, you don't understand-- 320 00:15:07,548 --> 00:15:08,948 you don't have to pay for a thing. 321 00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,710 I'll pay for all three-- you guys just need to take 322 00:15:10,712 --> 00:15:12,592 the other two so she doesn't get her nose out of joint. 323 00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:14,394 I just don't understand why you--why you have to pay 324 00:15:14,396 --> 00:15:15,435 for her friends in the first place. 325 00:15:15,437 --> 00:15:16,757 To make her happy! 326 00:15:16,759 --> 00:15:18,198 You know, I remember this one time 327 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,040 we tricked these two dumb high-school girls 328 00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:21,362 into the fraternity. 329 00:15:21,364 --> 00:15:22,763 Made them put out for all the fellas 330 00:15:22,765 --> 00:15:24,485 by threatening to call their folks 331 00:15:24,487 --> 00:15:26,207 and tell them they were putting out for the fellas. 332 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:28,890 And what is it, "putting out"? 333 00:15:28,892 --> 00:15:31,092 AARFY: Screw, fuck, you know. 334 00:15:31,094 --> 00:15:34,055 Ah, so you-- you tricked the girls, 335 00:15:34,057 --> 00:15:35,777 and you fuck them? 336 00:15:35,779 --> 00:15:38,220 Yeah, sure. It was a bit of fun. 337 00:15:38,222 --> 00:15:41,223 And the girls? They were having fun? 338 00:15:41,225 --> 00:15:42,745 AARFY: Yes, of course. 339 00:15:42,747 --> 00:15:45,668 So you made them have fun, yes? 340 00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:47,070 Yes? 341 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:49,072 You get a load of this shit? 342 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,995 I'm getting lectured by a guy who sells women for a living. 343 00:15:51,997 --> 00:15:55,519 I'm aware of my profession. 344 00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,681 [soft music] 345 00:15:57,683 --> 00:15:59,723 CLARA: Nate-er-ly? 346 00:15:59,725 --> 00:16:01,205 Is problem? 347 00:16:01,207 --> 00:16:04,489 I-I'm coming. I'm coming. 348 00:16:04,491 --> 00:16:07,652 Yo-Yo, come on, will you take the other two? 349 00:16:07,654 --> 00:16:09,494 Help me out here, man. 350 00:16:09,496 --> 00:16:16,504 ♪ ♪ 351 00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,941 [music stops] 352 00:16:52,943 --> 00:16:55,987 [bell tolling] 353 00:17:05,197 --> 00:17:06,516 My good man. 354 00:17:06,518 --> 00:17:08,238 Would you be kind enough to provide me 355 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,000 with the name of the legal owner of this building? 356 00:17:10,002 --> 00:17:11,922 I wish to requisition it for the fighting men 357 00:17:11,924 --> 00:17:14,204 of the United States of America. 358 00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:16,209 Scusi? 359 00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,814 [speaking broken Italian] 360 00:17:22,896 --> 00:17:24,898 The... 361 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:46,442 SOLDIER: [speaking German] 362 00:18:00,737 --> 00:18:02,377 [laughter, indistinct chatter] 363 00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:05,260 YOSSARIAN: Yeah, I am. I try to be. 364 00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:07,264 [laughter] 365 00:18:08,946 --> 00:18:10,948 Hey. 366 00:18:22,881 --> 00:18:23,880 CLARA: Sister. 367 00:18:23,882 --> 00:18:25,602 She's your sister? 368 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,606 Sister, sister. 369 00:18:37,097 --> 00:18:38,336 Insects. 370 00:18:38,338 --> 00:18:40,661 Ah, insetti. Insects. 371 00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:48,227 Gelato-- I know this word. 372 00:18:48,229 --> 00:18:51,230 Gelato. You want one? 373 00:18:51,232 --> 00:18:52,952 Okay, she's up for it. 374 00:18:52,954 --> 00:18:55,076 What's that called? 375 00:18:57,879 --> 00:18:59,719 Ice cream. 376 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,124 Rolls off the tongue better than "ice cream," doesn't it? 377 00:19:06,008 --> 00:19:07,448 Finestra, that's window, yeah? 378 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,210 Finestra. 379 00:19:09,212 --> 00:19:11,214 With an R, right? 380 00:19:11,975 --> 00:19:14,095 Can you say "window"? Try that? 381 00:19:14,097 --> 00:19:15,697 Window. Window, yeah. 382 00:19:15,699 --> 00:19:17,701 Exactly. [car doors close] 383 00:19:19,223 --> 00:19:20,702 Yeah. Yeah. 384 00:19:20,704 --> 00:19:22,706 Wha-- 385 00:19:32,117 --> 00:19:33,636 Fuck. 386 00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:36,600 She'll be back, buddy. 387 00:19:36,602 --> 00:19:40,003 God damn it. 388 00:19:40,005 --> 00:19:43,968 [engine roaring] 389 00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:45,850 Major de Coverley has gone missing, 390 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:49,173 and one of you fuckers is going to prison for it. 391 00:19:49,175 --> 00:19:51,696 I know you're here, 392 00:19:51,698 --> 00:19:53,698 and I am going to hunt you down like a jackal, 393 00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:56,263 and I'm gonna mount you on my fucking wall! 394 00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,427 So, if any of you knows anything 395 00:20:01,429 --> 00:20:03,629 about my bomb line being moved, 396 00:20:03,631 --> 00:20:06,472 now would be the time to speak up! 397 00:20:06,474 --> 00:20:08,114 Because I am gonna get to the bottom of this. 398 00:20:08,116 --> 00:20:11,197 You can mark my fucking words, gentlemen. 399 00:20:11,199 --> 00:20:14,241 This is a black eye on the squadron. 400 00:20:14,243 --> 00:20:17,484 A good man has gone missing, presumed captured. 401 00:20:17,486 --> 00:20:19,849 Maybe missing, presumed dead! 402 00:20:22,852 --> 00:20:25,094 The person who did it is in this room... 403 00:20:27,057 --> 00:20:29,940 Right now-- I can fucking feel it. 404 00:20:31,822 --> 00:20:35,063 Oh, and by the way, 405 00:20:35,065 --> 00:20:37,866 we're going back to Bologna. 406 00:20:37,868 --> 00:20:40,789 Mark my fucking words. 407 00:20:40,791 --> 00:20:44,313 And you're going back there, and you are gonna bomb the fuck 408 00:20:44,315 --> 00:20:45,675 out of those fuel dumps, 409 00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,156 and you are going to bomb the fuck 410 00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,478 out of those antiaircraft guns, 411 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,921 and I hope it's fucking bad. 412 00:20:50,923 --> 00:20:53,363 And you'd better hope that you don't bomb 413 00:20:53,365 --> 00:20:56,967 wherever it is they're holding Major de Coverley. 414 00:20:56,969 --> 00:20:59,129 And I've got some good news. 415 00:20:59,131 --> 00:21:02,493 I'm raising the mission count from 40 to 45. 416 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,736 Oh, I knew you'd like that. 417 00:21:04,738 --> 00:21:07,659 And as punishment for this act of fucking treason, 418 00:21:07,661 --> 00:21:11,022 I'm also raising it from 45 to 50. 419 00:21:11,024 --> 00:21:12,464 [men grumbling softly] 420 00:21:12,466 --> 00:21:16,068 CATHCART: Oh, do I sense discontent, hmm? 421 00:21:16,070 --> 00:21:18,390 Well, look, fellas... 422 00:21:18,392 --> 00:21:20,673 I'm not an unreasonable man. 423 00:21:20,675 --> 00:21:23,718 What's say we make a deal, hmm? 424 00:21:26,641 --> 00:21:29,282 If the repugnant swamp scum 425 00:21:29,284 --> 00:21:31,965 that moved my bomb line were to step forward 426 00:21:31,967 --> 00:21:34,007 and admit his guilt, 427 00:21:34,009 --> 00:21:36,971 I would be willing to lower the mission count 428 00:21:36,973 --> 00:21:40,294 from 50 to 45. 429 00:21:40,296 --> 00:21:41,816 Hmm? 430 00:21:41,818 --> 00:21:43,940 Effective immediately. 431 00:21:57,115 --> 00:21:59,117 You fucking coward. 432 00:22:01,079 --> 00:22:03,119 Dis-fucking-missed! 433 00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:06,164 [indistinct soft chatter] 434 00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,413 AARFY: All right, that's 45 seconds to run. 435 00:22:15,415 --> 00:22:16,894 45 seconds. 436 00:22:16,896 --> 00:22:18,576 PILOT: It's getting hot up here, fellas. 437 00:22:18,578 --> 00:22:20,218 NATELY: Down there! Just beyond the bridge! 438 00:22:20,220 --> 00:22:22,020 There's a whole convoy on that road! 439 00:22:22,022 --> 00:22:24,022 AARFY: Yeah, we're coming up on it now. 440 00:22:24,024 --> 00:22:25,824 You all right up there? 441 00:22:25,826 --> 00:22:28,467 PILOT: We got you, we got you. You're okay. 442 00:22:28,469 --> 00:22:31,110 PILOT 2: We're getting hammered! Let's go! 443 00:22:31,112 --> 00:22:33,312 [dramatic music] 444 00:22:33,314 --> 00:22:36,596 AARFY: All right, McWatt. Bring her to 043. 445 00:22:36,598 --> 00:22:39,198 Holding steady at 4,500. 446 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:41,681 043 at 4,500. 447 00:22:41,683 --> 00:22:43,483 NATELY: Is that it down there? 448 00:22:43,485 --> 00:22:45,045 MCWATT: Is that what down there? 449 00:22:45,047 --> 00:22:47,287 Fucking Bologna! AARFY: No, no, no. 450 00:22:47,289 --> 00:22:49,169 It's still 13 miles to Bologna. 451 00:22:49,171 --> 00:22:50,731 NATELY: Holy shit. 452 00:22:50,733 --> 00:22:53,534 CATHCART: They make it with a pesto sauce. 453 00:22:53,536 --> 00:22:55,536 And the parmesan, oh... 454 00:22:55,538 --> 00:22:57,739 It is something, let me tell you, Korn. 455 00:22:57,741 --> 00:22:59,020 It is something. 456 00:22:59,022 --> 00:23:01,024 Yes, sir. 457 00:23:02,746 --> 00:23:04,066 [siren wailing] 458 00:23:04,068 --> 00:23:07,029 What in God's green earth is that? 459 00:23:07,031 --> 00:23:09,351 What is that? 460 00:23:09,353 --> 00:23:12,757 [wailing continues, plane engines roaring] 461 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,602 MILO: It's only me. It's only me. 462 00:23:19,284 --> 00:23:20,604 CAPTAIN: Hands in the air! 463 00:23:20,606 --> 00:23:22,726 No, it's okay! These are ours now! 464 00:23:22,728 --> 00:23:25,689 I said, "Hands in the air." MILO: Yes, I understand that. 465 00:23:25,691 --> 00:23:27,411 There's been a crossed wire somewhere. 466 00:23:27,413 --> 00:23:28,532 CAPTAIN: Who are you? 467 00:23:28,534 --> 00:23:30,094 I'm Milo! I'm-- 468 00:23:30,096 --> 00:23:32,376 I'm the mess officer. You know me, Captain. 469 00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:33,458 I feed you. 470 00:23:33,460 --> 00:23:34,779 State your business here. 471 00:23:34,781 --> 00:23:37,142 Business! My business is business. 472 00:23:37,144 --> 00:23:40,145 These are no longer military, these are trade. 473 00:23:40,147 --> 00:23:41,586 CAPTAIN: These are enemy planes. 474 00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:43,108 MILO: Well, technically speaking, 475 00:23:43,110 --> 00:23:46,151 that's no longer the case as of today. 476 00:23:46,153 --> 00:23:49,835 This explains, in great detail, 477 00:23:49,837 --> 00:23:51,637 that these are syndicate planes now. 478 00:23:51,639 --> 00:23:54,040 CAPTAIN: What syndicate? MILO: Our syndicate. 479 00:23:54,042 --> 00:23:56,483 We're all part of the syndicate, even you. 480 00:23:56,485 --> 00:23:57,844 And these are all in order. 481 00:23:57,846 --> 00:23:59,526 I said put your hands in the air! 482 00:23:59,528 --> 00:24:01,728 Of course. Anyway, the Germans are part 483 00:24:01,730 --> 00:24:04,051 of the syndicate, too, and so what's happening today is, 484 00:24:04,053 --> 00:24:07,014 the Germans are contributing three cargo planes 485 00:24:07,016 --> 00:24:08,135 to the syndicate. 486 00:24:08,137 --> 00:24:09,417 CAPTAIN: Who are these men? 487 00:24:09,419 --> 00:24:10,778 Are they Germans? 488 00:24:10,780 --> 00:24:12,941 Well, yes and no. They're delegates. 489 00:24:12,943 --> 00:24:14,422 They're here today representing the interests 490 00:24:14,424 --> 00:24:15,944 of M&M Enterprises. 491 00:24:15,946 --> 00:24:17,225 No, I know what you're gonna say. 492 00:24:17,227 --> 00:24:18,787 Sure, we're at war with the Germans, 493 00:24:18,789 --> 00:24:21,190 but the Germans are also members in good standing 494 00:24:21,192 --> 00:24:23,152 of the syndicate, and they pay their bills 495 00:24:23,154 --> 00:24:26,035 a lot more promptly than a lot of allies of ours I could name. 496 00:24:26,037 --> 00:24:28,998 So it's my job to protect their rights as shareholders, 497 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,081 just as I will protect yours as members of the syndicate. 498 00:24:32,083 --> 00:24:35,365 CATHCART: Weapons down! Put your goddamn weapons down! 499 00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:37,247 [engine revs, brakes squeal] 500 00:24:37,249 --> 00:24:39,490 Sir, these are German flyers, and those are German planes. 501 00:24:39,492 --> 00:24:40,811 And you did the right thing, Captain. 502 00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,333 Milo, have you got those papers? 503 00:24:42,335 --> 00:24:43,374 Yes, sir. Can I lower my arms, sir? 504 00:24:43,376 --> 00:24:44,935 CATHCART: Lower your arms. 505 00:24:44,937 --> 00:24:46,457 Have you got the originals and carbon copies? 506 00:24:46,459 --> 00:24:47,658 MILO: Yes, sir, they're all right here. 507 00:24:47,660 --> 00:24:50,221 CATHCART: Korn! Milo, I apologize 508 00:24:50,223 --> 00:24:52,023 for not passing the relevant information 509 00:24:52,025 --> 00:24:54,866 down the chain of command-- hence, all this kerfuffle. 510 00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:57,349 As of now, these planes 511 00:24:57,351 --> 00:24:59,994 are part of the M&M Enterprise fleet. 512 00:25:02,076 --> 00:25:03,996 Beautiful. Follow me, sir. 513 00:25:03,998 --> 00:25:07,160 These planes are a beauty. They fly like a dream. 514 00:25:07,162 --> 00:25:08,521 Watch your head. 515 00:25:08,523 --> 00:25:10,083 Hey, that's beautiful work, Luca. 516 00:25:10,085 --> 00:25:12,485 Perfetto, grazie! 517 00:25:12,487 --> 00:25:14,448 Very nice, Milo. 518 00:25:14,450 --> 00:25:16,290 Very elegant. Thank you, sir. 519 00:25:16,292 --> 00:25:18,252 I think so, too, sir. 520 00:25:18,254 --> 00:25:20,574 [dramatic music] 521 00:25:20,576 --> 00:25:23,778 NATELY: 043 at 4,500! 043 at 4,500! 522 00:25:23,780 --> 00:25:26,701 Are you reading me, Yossarian? PILOT: Hey, can you hear me? 523 00:25:26,703 --> 00:25:28,383 PILOT 2: This ain't the time to fuck around, man. 524 00:25:28,385 --> 00:25:30,065 PILOT 3: Yeah, they're really lighting it up. 525 00:25:30,067 --> 00:25:32,107 NATELY: Come on, you getting close? 526 00:25:32,109 --> 00:25:33,548 Yo-Yo, what's going on? 527 00:25:33,550 --> 00:25:35,671 There's something wrong with the plane! 528 00:25:35,673 --> 00:25:37,833 There's something wrong with the-- 529 00:25:37,835 --> 00:25:39,755 [transmission breaking up] 530 00:25:39,757 --> 00:25:41,557 Something's wrong with the plane? 531 00:25:41,559 --> 00:25:43,559 What's the matter? 532 00:25:43,561 --> 00:25:45,121 There's just something the matter with-- 533 00:25:45,123 --> 00:25:46,803 [distorted speech] KID: I don't know! 534 00:25:46,805 --> 00:25:48,605 Who is that screaming? 535 00:25:48,607 --> 00:25:50,567 This is Yossarian in the nose! 536 00:25:50,569 --> 00:25:51,808 Yossarian in the nose! 537 00:25:51,810 --> 00:25:53,610 Didn't you say there was something the matter-- 538 00:25:53,612 --> 00:25:55,492 KID: I thought you said something was the matter. 539 00:25:55,494 --> 00:25:57,374 Everything seems fine up here. Everything's all right. 540 00:25:57,376 --> 00:25:59,377 [dramatic music] 541 00:25:59,379 --> 00:26:00,898 I can't hear you. 542 00:26:00,900 --> 00:26:04,182 KID: I said everything seems all right. 543 00:26:04,184 --> 00:26:07,425 MCWATT: Holding steady, 4,500 feet. 544 00:26:07,427 --> 00:26:10,268 AARFY: Drop those fuckers, Yo-Yo! Let's go! 545 00:26:10,270 --> 00:26:14,553 PILOT: Come on, boys, let's-- [transmission breaking up] 546 00:26:14,555 --> 00:26:16,916 I said I still can't hear you! 547 00:26:16,918 --> 00:26:18,597 Is anybody there? 548 00:26:18,599 --> 00:26:21,801 MCWATT: How close are we? 549 00:26:21,803 --> 00:26:24,043 Are we dropping or what? 550 00:26:24,045 --> 00:26:27,447 Hey, I can't hear you. What? 551 00:26:27,449 --> 00:26:28,648 I can't hear you. 552 00:26:28,650 --> 00:26:30,130 I don't know what you're saying. 553 00:26:30,132 --> 00:26:31,772 I can't hear you! I said I can't hear you! 554 00:26:31,774 --> 00:26:33,814 I'm shouting as loud as I can! 555 00:26:33,816 --> 00:26:35,816 Look, there's something wrong with the intercom! 556 00:26:35,818 --> 00:26:38,219 We have to turn back. For an intercom? 557 00:26:38,221 --> 00:26:40,902 We're not turning back for a broken intercom. 558 00:26:40,904 --> 00:26:43,304 [explosions] 559 00:26:43,306 --> 00:26:45,907 Turn back, or I'll break your fucking head! 560 00:26:45,909 --> 00:26:47,589 You're kidding, right? 561 00:26:47,591 --> 00:26:49,351 I can't do my job 562 00:26:49,353 --> 00:26:51,313 if I can't fucking hear you up there! 563 00:26:51,315 --> 00:26:52,835 Yes, you can! No, I can't! 564 00:26:52,837 --> 00:26:54,196 Yes, you can! No, I can't! 565 00:26:54,198 --> 00:26:55,878 I think we need to pull out, McWatt. 566 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,363 No fucking way! 567 00:27:05,330 --> 00:27:08,133 Fine. Fuck you. 568 00:27:09,535 --> 00:27:11,537 Jesus. 569 00:27:12,939 --> 00:27:15,099 All planes, this is "Yankee Doodle." 570 00:27:15,101 --> 00:27:16,140 We are pulling out. 571 00:27:16,142 --> 00:27:19,103 We have a technical difficulty here! 572 00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:23,190 [explosions] 573 00:27:41,650 --> 00:27:48,217 Good. Good. 574 00:27:52,262 --> 00:27:55,265 [tires crunch, screech] 575 00:27:58,268 --> 00:28:00,228 Hey, you know what your problem is? 576 00:28:00,230 --> 00:28:02,150 You still think you're gonna get out of here. 577 00:28:02,152 --> 00:28:04,553 And you fly like you don't. Exactly. 578 00:28:04,555 --> 00:28:06,115 I fly however the fuck I want. 579 00:28:06,117 --> 00:28:07,676 Sure, fly however the fuck you want. 580 00:28:07,678 --> 00:28:09,558 Just not when I'm in the same plane. 581 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,520 Oh, it doesn't make a goddamn bit of difference how I fly. 582 00:28:11,522 --> 00:28:12,682 You're just a coward. 583 00:28:12,684 --> 00:28:14,484 I'm the bravest fucking man you know. 584 00:28:14,486 --> 00:28:16,366 Okay, do what you got to do. 585 00:28:16,368 --> 00:28:18,288 I mean, I'm not going to tell anyone you pulled those wires. 586 00:28:18,290 --> 00:28:19,890 I mean, I-I'm swell with it. 587 00:28:19,892 --> 00:28:22,412 I mean, it's okay if you're afraid. 588 00:28:22,414 --> 00:28:25,376 I'm not afraid. I'm just keeping us alive. 589 00:28:25,378 --> 00:28:27,778 Oh, yeah, you are. You're afraid. 590 00:28:27,780 --> 00:28:30,261 Oh, Christ, you're ridiculous. 591 00:28:30,263 --> 00:28:32,664 You know the difference between me and you? 592 00:28:32,666 --> 00:28:35,947 Me, happy, happy, happy, happy, dead. 593 00:28:35,949 --> 00:28:39,911 You, worry, worry, worry, worry, dead. 594 00:28:39,913 --> 00:28:42,394 Don't drag me into your shit, okay? 595 00:28:42,396 --> 00:28:45,399 [airplane engine roars overhead] 596 00:29:16,633 --> 00:29:18,954 CHAPLAIN: Sorry about today. 597 00:29:18,956 --> 00:29:20,836 Just when you think you're close to heading home, 598 00:29:20,838 --> 00:29:23,159 ten more missions--I-I can only imagine how that must feel. 599 00:29:23,161 --> 00:29:25,001 He's a goddamn monster. 600 00:29:25,003 --> 00:29:27,483 To punish the squadron for one man's transgression? 601 00:29:27,485 --> 00:29:29,325 I-I'm not a believer 602 00:29:29,327 --> 00:29:31,327 in that sort of Old Testament retribution myself. 603 00:29:31,329 --> 00:29:34,331 And was it really a transgression? 604 00:29:34,333 --> 00:29:37,334 Well, to knowingly allow your fellow men to be punished 605 00:29:37,336 --> 00:29:38,776 for a crime you committed, 606 00:29:38,778 --> 00:29:41,058 I-I would say that's a transgression. 607 00:29:41,060 --> 00:29:43,581 But what if the crime wasn't really a crime? 608 00:29:43,583 --> 00:29:45,903 Or even if it was a crime, so what? 609 00:29:45,905 --> 00:29:47,465 The punishment is irrational. 610 00:29:47,467 --> 00:29:49,347 Should that man be held responsible 611 00:29:49,349 --> 00:29:51,189 for the irrationality of the punishment? 612 00:29:51,191 --> 00:29:53,031 I would have thought that you of all people 613 00:29:53,033 --> 00:29:55,554 would be incensed at the actions of this person. 614 00:29:55,556 --> 00:29:57,596 He's just caused you to fly ten more missions. 615 00:29:57,598 --> 00:29:59,638 I am. I'm incensed. 616 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,321 Not to mention poor old Major de Coverly. 617 00:30:02,323 --> 00:30:04,003 [sighs] 618 00:30:04,005 --> 00:30:06,726 Was it a prank? An act of sabotage? 619 00:30:06,728 --> 00:30:08,968 [scoffs] What if it was an accident? 620 00:30:08,970 --> 00:30:11,932 Well, I-I don't see how it could be an accident. 621 00:30:11,934 --> 00:30:15,055 My understanding is the bomb line is a piece of string. 622 00:30:15,057 --> 00:30:16,817 It doesn't just move on its own. 623 00:30:16,819 --> 00:30:20,301 We don't know that, and Cathcart certainly doesn't. 624 00:30:20,303 --> 00:30:23,544 How do--how do we know Cathcart didn't do it himself 625 00:30:23,546 --> 00:30:25,947 just to raise the missions, because he's nuts. 626 00:30:25,949 --> 00:30:27,709 He's crazy as a bedbug. 627 00:30:27,711 --> 00:30:30,672 Chaplain, insanity is contagious. 628 00:30:30,674 --> 00:30:32,794 Everybody's crazy except for us. 629 00:30:32,796 --> 00:30:35,477 You and I have to be careful. 630 00:30:35,479 --> 00:30:38,401 We may be the only sane people in the entire world, 631 00:30:38,403 --> 00:30:41,564 and we're bullied and insulted and harassed 632 00:30:41,566 --> 00:30:45,168 and shoved around all day long by insane people. 633 00:30:45,170 --> 00:30:47,250 And we do our duty, mission after mission-- 634 00:30:47,252 --> 00:30:51,014 35, 40--then we're told it's not good enough. 635 00:30:51,016 --> 00:30:53,697 And when we object, people like Cathcart tell us 636 00:30:53,699 --> 00:30:56,180 any true patriot would be proud to fly as many missions 637 00:30:56,182 --> 00:30:57,822 as they're forcing us to fly. 638 00:30:57,824 --> 00:30:59,744 You look at it that way, 639 00:30:59,746 --> 00:31:03,668 I don't know if this bomb line guy 640 00:31:03,670 --> 00:31:05,670 really did the wrong thing. 641 00:31:05,672 --> 00:31:08,716 I mean... You know what I mean? 642 00:31:10,237 --> 00:31:12,920 [indistinct shouting in the distance] 643 00:31:17,445 --> 00:31:20,446 [smooth jazz music] 644 00:31:20,448 --> 00:31:27,456 ♪ ♪ 645 00:31:54,405 --> 00:31:57,407 [indistinct chatter] 646 00:31:57,409 --> 00:31:59,609 ♪ ♪ 647 00:31:59,611 --> 00:32:01,291 CATHCART: At ease, at ease. 648 00:32:01,293 --> 00:32:03,335 Sit. Sit, please, sit. 649 00:32:06,779 --> 00:32:08,419 You did a lot of damage today, boys. 650 00:32:08,421 --> 00:32:11,023 Bravo, we gave them the real what-for. 651 00:32:12,665 --> 00:32:15,346 We lost 12 men... 652 00:32:15,348 --> 00:32:17,949 12 damn fine men. 653 00:32:17,951 --> 00:32:19,953 God rest their souls. 654 00:32:22,796 --> 00:32:24,476 But we did a lot of damage. 655 00:32:24,478 --> 00:32:26,198 Aerial photographs are developed. 656 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,160 Bombing patterns are meticulous. 657 00:32:28,162 --> 00:32:30,683 So job well done. 658 00:32:30,685 --> 00:32:34,967 Now, by way of saying thank you... 659 00:32:34,969 --> 00:32:37,690 of letting you know that your brave efforts 660 00:32:37,692 --> 00:32:40,534 do not go unappreciated... 661 00:32:40,536 --> 00:32:43,817 I have asked Milo, our fine mess officer, 662 00:32:43,819 --> 00:32:47,143 to come up with something special for you all. 663 00:32:49,105 --> 00:32:53,027 A personal favorite of mine-- Baked Alaska. 664 00:32:53,029 --> 00:32:55,390 Haven't had it since before the war. 665 00:32:55,392 --> 00:32:57,392 Come on, boys, bring it in! 666 00:32:57,394 --> 00:32:59,795 There you go! 667 00:32:59,797 --> 00:33:01,797 There you go, boys. 668 00:33:01,799 --> 00:33:05,000 [indistinct chatter] 669 00:33:05,002 --> 00:33:07,803 CATHCART: Milo, looks great. 670 00:33:07,805 --> 00:33:11,209 [chatter continues] 671 00:33:26,746 --> 00:33:29,949 [speaking Italian] 672 00:33:32,752 --> 00:33:35,475 [chatter continues] 673 00:33:37,598 --> 00:33:40,239 Goddamn yummy! It's goddamn yummy! 674 00:33:40,241 --> 00:33:43,042 Is it not, gentleman? Colonel Korn, what say you? 675 00:33:43,044 --> 00:33:44,723 KORN: Yes, sir, it's yummy. 676 00:33:44,725 --> 00:33:47,609 [chuckles] Milo, fine job. 677 00:33:51,573 --> 00:33:54,294 Did you not get any? 678 00:33:54,296 --> 00:33:57,177 I say, did you not get any? NATELY: We did not, sir. 679 00:33:57,179 --> 00:34:00,901 CATHCART: I can't hear you. We did not, sir. 680 00:34:00,903 --> 00:34:04,387 Do you not want some? NATELY: No, thank you, sir. 681 00:34:11,274 --> 00:34:13,397 One plane turned back today. 682 00:34:15,839 --> 00:34:18,242 Would the crew of that plane stand up? 683 00:34:27,532 --> 00:34:31,937 And who might the pilot of this intrepid ship be? 684 00:34:34,380 --> 00:34:37,062 That'd be me, sir. KORN: That's McWatt, sir. 685 00:34:39,705 --> 00:34:41,708 McWatt. 686 00:34:43,469 --> 00:34:45,590 And pray tell, McWatt, 687 00:34:45,592 --> 00:34:49,716 what precipitated this urgent need to be back at base? 688 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:54,920 Broken intercom-- 689 00:34:54,922 --> 00:34:56,922 Speak up so everybody can hear you. 690 00:34:56,924 --> 00:34:59,327 A broken intercom, sir. 691 00:35:01,489 --> 00:35:02,688 Oh. 692 00:35:02,690 --> 00:35:04,693 [sucks teeth] 693 00:35:11,180 --> 00:35:16,063 Major Major, you've been reading the manual, I believe. 694 00:35:16,065 --> 00:35:19,587 Tell us, in the course of your studies, 695 00:35:19,589 --> 00:35:22,150 have you come across a paragraph or a subclause 696 00:35:22,152 --> 00:35:26,514 that tells you that a broken intercom 697 00:35:26,516 --> 00:35:29,157 is a valid Procedural Termination Mechanism 698 00:35:29,159 --> 00:35:31,159 for Mission Abortion? 699 00:35:31,161 --> 00:35:32,441 I don't, um-- 700 00:35:32,443 --> 00:35:33,962 [clears throat] 701 00:35:33,964 --> 00:35:37,849 I haven't necessarily-- CATHCART: No, you haven't! 702 00:35:39,771 --> 00:35:41,731 Because there isn't one! 703 00:35:41,733 --> 00:35:45,215 And I want everyone to take a good look at this table, 704 00:35:45,217 --> 00:35:47,177 because at this table, 705 00:35:47,179 --> 00:35:50,783 you will see the face of cowardice! 706 00:35:55,988 --> 00:36:01,595 And that is not a face that gets Baked Alaska put in it. 707 00:36:04,318 --> 00:36:07,319 [slow jazz music] 708 00:36:07,321 --> 00:36:14,368 ♪ ♪ 709 00:36:22,417 --> 00:36:24,818 Hi. [girls giggle] 710 00:36:24,820 --> 00:36:26,660 [indistinct chatter] 711 00:36:26,662 --> 00:36:33,670 ♪ ♪ 712 00:36:39,676 --> 00:36:42,719 [seagulls crying] 713 00:36:50,608 --> 00:36:53,651 [airplane engine roars overhead] 714 00:37:00,138 --> 00:37:03,460 [all shouting] 715 00:37:03,462 --> 00:37:06,183 It's goddamn McWatt! 716 00:37:06,185 --> 00:37:09,108 [laughing] 717 00:37:10,830 --> 00:37:14,552 Oh, Jesus Christ. KID: Get out of here, McWatt! 718 00:37:14,554 --> 00:37:16,434 AARFY: What the fuck? 719 00:37:16,436 --> 00:37:18,396 You piece of shit! 720 00:37:18,398 --> 00:37:21,762 McWatt, you fucking maniac! [chuckles] 721 00:37:25,646 --> 00:37:26,885 Son of a bitch. 722 00:37:26,887 --> 00:37:29,608 Come on, McWatt, let's see what you got. 723 00:37:29,610 --> 00:37:32,412 AARFY: McWatt, you nut! What's he doing? 724 00:37:32,414 --> 00:37:34,654 Yeah, get him, Sampson. Yeah, Kid, get him! 725 00:37:34,656 --> 00:37:36,856 Come on, Kid, get him. NATELY: Here he comes. 726 00:37:36,858 --> 00:37:38,538 KID: Come on, McWatt! Here he comes! 727 00:37:38,540 --> 00:37:41,341 KID: Come on! Let's see what you got! 728 00:37:41,343 --> 00:37:44,026 Oh, I see you, motherfucker. Come on, McWatt. 729 00:37:45,548 --> 00:37:46,947 YOSSARIAN: That's right, give it to him. 730 00:37:46,949 --> 00:37:48,509 Kid Sampson, shove it up his ass! 731 00:37:48,511 --> 00:37:50,151 Shove it right up his ass! KID: Come on! 732 00:37:50,153 --> 00:37:51,312 Whoo! 733 00:37:51,314 --> 00:37:52,874 [engine roaring] 734 00:37:52,876 --> 00:37:54,596 Shove it up his ass! 735 00:37:54,598 --> 00:37:57,038 This is going straight up your ass, McWatt! 736 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,321 Oh, shit! 737 00:37:59,323 --> 00:38:01,763 KID: Whoo! 738 00:38:01,765 --> 00:38:05,447 [somber music] 739 00:38:05,449 --> 00:38:07,690 Oh. 740 00:38:07,692 --> 00:38:09,532 He got Kid Sampson. 741 00:38:09,534 --> 00:38:12,375 He got Kid Sampson! Fuck! 742 00:38:12,377 --> 00:38:15,538 Fuck! No, no! Oh, God! 743 00:38:15,540 --> 00:38:20,584 ♪ ♪ 744 00:38:20,586 --> 00:38:23,747 [yelling] 745 00:38:23,749 --> 00:38:27,672 ♪ ♪ 746 00:38:27,674 --> 00:38:29,434 Oh, no. 747 00:38:29,436 --> 00:38:31,436 [grunts] 748 00:38:31,438 --> 00:38:37,484 ♪ ♪ 749 00:38:49,177 --> 00:38:51,297 What are you doing, McWatt? 750 00:38:51,299 --> 00:38:58,347 ♪ ♪ 751 00:39:14,004 --> 00:39:15,203 [spits] 752 00:39:15,205 --> 00:39:21,252 ♪ ♪ 753 00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:26,778 Happy, happy, happy, happy! 754 00:39:29,541 --> 00:39:31,944 Aah! 755 00:39:34,026 --> 00:39:37,027 [soft music] 756 00:39:37,029 --> 00:39:44,037 ♪ ♪ 757 00:40:04,910 --> 00:40:09,910 Subtitles by explosiveskull