1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:15,591 --> 00:00:17,294 Previously on "You Me Her"... 3 00:00:17,307 --> 00:00:18,685 I see you, Nina Martone. 4 00:00:18,704 --> 00:00:21,656 Andy is relentlessly posting photos of him and his dad 5 00:00:21,674 --> 00:00:24,345 having a smile-off somewhere in the woods. 6 00:00:24,368 --> 00:00:26,945 Say, has anyone ever written a thesis about 7 00:00:26,971 --> 00:00:28,891 excessive cyber stalking of ex-boyfriends? 8 00:00:28,954 --> 00:00:29,974 - Iz. - What? 9 00:00:30,007 --> 00:00:32,299 I'm pregnant. This just feels right. 10 00:00:32,372 --> 00:00:35,685 And I don't wanna fuck it up. I cannot fuck this up again. 11 00:00:37,825 --> 00:00:39,714 - Oh! - Oh, no. 12 00:00:39,737 --> 00:00:42,033 I was gonna sneak out and catch "Pillow Talk" at the Paramount. 13 00:00:42,055 --> 00:00:43,775 And you're welcome to tag along if you want. 14 00:00:43,790 --> 00:00:46,332 Are you seriously asking me on a date right now? 15 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,119 Absolutely not. 16 00:00:48,653 --> 00:00:50,547 I already work insane hours at Pinnacle. 17 00:00:50,554 --> 00:00:52,835 And if I make partner, it's gonna be even worse, so... 18 00:00:52,849 --> 00:00:56,158 I was assuming you were coming home, not coming to get us. 19 00:00:56,172 --> 00:00:57,889 And as long as we're being honest, 20 00:00:58,055 --> 00:00:59,230 I miss Hawthorne Heights. 21 00:00:59,242 --> 00:01:01,691 I'd rather sleep under a fucking bridge. 22 00:01:01,754 --> 00:01:04,660 They want in. Offices, staff, the whole nine. 23 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:06,400 Oh, my God. 24 00:01:06,595 --> 00:01:08,530 I guess shit just got real, huh? 25 00:01:08,655 --> 00:01:10,265 It's okay. We'll figure it out. 26 00:01:11,819 --> 00:01:14,410 What if you really are Mr. Right There in Front of Me? 27 00:01:14,436 --> 00:01:16,289 - Well, how do we find out? - Hey. 28 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,053 Whoa, fuck, hold up. 29 00:01:35,950 --> 00:01:37,457 Were you guys just about to kiss? 30 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:41,657 Hey. 31 00:01:42,224 --> 00:01:43,433 Andy's back. 32 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,677 He was... 33 00:01:46,712 --> 00:01:47,891 And now he's standing there 34 00:01:47,902 --> 00:01:49,752 right in front of us looking like... 35 00:01:50,853 --> 00:01:52,382 Looking like he could use a cold beer. 36 00:01:52,385 --> 00:01:54,809 Would you... would you like a cold beer, Andy? 37 00:01:56,422 --> 00:01:58,800 Yeah, I'm gonna take that as a yes. 38 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,751 No disrespect, uh... 39 00:02:04,570 --> 00:02:06,126 Oh, it's still Shaun. 40 00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:08,092 Yeah, no disrespect, Shaun, 41 00:02:08,772 --> 00:02:11,303 but, uh, can I talk to you privately? 42 00:02:16,988 --> 00:02:17,988 Okay. 43 00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:20,224 Good on ya. 44 00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:24,461 Very mature, Nina. 45 00:02:24,696 --> 00:02:25,762 Super adult. 46 00:02:25,806 --> 00:02:28,512 - For a second there, I thought you were gonna... - Uhh! 47 00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:32,447 Do that. That... that's what I expected. 48 00:02:44,303 --> 00:02:46,437 Lemon water instead of beer. 49 00:02:46,964 --> 00:02:48,626 What brought this on? 50 00:02:48,987 --> 00:02:50,494 Don't get all smug. 51 00:02:50,848 --> 00:02:53,324 It's just my regularly scheduled liver cleanse. 52 00:02:55,288 --> 00:02:56,288 Okay. 53 00:02:56,394 --> 00:02:58,103 - It's on my iCal. - Uh-huh. 54 00:02:58,177 --> 00:03:00,374 - Can I see that? - No. 55 00:03:03,101 --> 00:03:05,120 On the phone, you said you had a revelation. 56 00:03:09,833 --> 00:03:11,767 You first, I guess. 57 00:03:13,631 --> 00:03:14,755 Yeah. 58 00:03:16,332 --> 00:03:19,787 I didn't take this project just so you could see me all cleaned up. 59 00:03:20,114 --> 00:03:22,306 And I didn't really call you all those times 60 00:03:22,325 --> 00:03:24,646 just to brag about my latest chip. 61 00:03:25,158 --> 00:03:26,936 Okay, well, maybe a little. 62 00:03:28,078 --> 00:03:31,215 But mostly, um, I came here 63 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:33,827 because I wanted to make sure that all those... 64 00:03:34,362 --> 00:03:37,175 things I was doing back then didn't... 65 00:03:37,212 --> 00:03:38,584 Ruin me? 66 00:03:39,704 --> 00:03:41,311 Yeah, something like that. 67 00:03:43,632 --> 00:03:45,392 And if you were hurting, 68 00:03:47,012 --> 00:03:50,540 I wanted to do anything and everything I could to make it better. 69 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:54,651 What's wrong? 70 00:03:57,075 --> 00:03:58,664 Well, Emma's back. 71 00:03:59,632 --> 00:04:01,000 And she's pregnant. 72 00:04:02,156 --> 00:04:06,177 And we're together again, the three of us. 73 00:04:06,564 --> 00:04:08,434 - Jack's wife? - Ex-wife. 74 00:04:08,559 --> 00:04:10,700 - She's pregnant? - Mm-hmm. 75 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:15,193 - And... and Jack's the father? - Yeah. 76 00:04:15,787 --> 00:04:17,307 She's keeping it. 77 00:04:22,622 --> 00:04:24,625 So what does that make you? 78 00:04:25,523 --> 00:04:28,374 We were together when it happened. 79 00:04:28,581 --> 00:04:32,284 So the baby is ours, not just theirs. 80 00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,601 Jesus, Isabelle. 81 00:04:33,643 --> 00:04:36,521 - Excuse me? - Please just listen to me. 82 00:04:37,462 --> 00:04:40,555 It is only a matter of time before those two gravitate back 83 00:04:40,564 --> 00:04:42,337 to the world that they know, 84 00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:44,668 to the way things were. 85 00:04:45,381 --> 00:04:48,039 How long are you gonna live their life instead of your own? 86 00:04:48,048 --> 00:04:49,614 Are those boots? 87 00:04:50,637 --> 00:04:51,945 What? 88 00:04:52,622 --> 00:04:56,168 Are those... boots? 89 00:04:57,325 --> 00:04:59,632 Yeah. Yeah, these are the boots 90 00:04:59,651 --> 00:05:02,055 that I didn't get you for your 17th birthday. 91 00:05:02,087 --> 00:05:04,791 Only, um, a lot better. 92 00:05:08,397 --> 00:05:09,507 What? 93 00:05:13,923 --> 00:05:16,351 - Wow. - Goddamnit, Izzy. 94 00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:18,192 How many times am I gonna have to run after you? 95 00:05:18,206 --> 00:05:20,030 - I'm just trying to... - Save me? 96 00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:22,016 Is that what you think I need? 97 00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:26,125 - What did I do? - You didn't miss my 17th birthday, Ben. 98 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:28,566 - What are you talking about? - Oh, God. 99 00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,427 You were drunk already 100 00:05:31,445 --> 00:05:33,776 when we met for lunch at a skank ass bar. 101 00:05:34,352 --> 00:05:36,870 You'd been AWOL for about, I don't know, a month. 102 00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:39,284 You looked so sick, it scared the hell out of me. 103 00:05:40,297 --> 00:05:41,616 You bought me boots. 104 00:05:42,054 --> 00:05:43,801 Wrong ones, wrong size. 105 00:05:44,405 --> 00:05:47,290 Downed about 4 double vodkas in 20 minutes 106 00:05:47,316 --> 00:05:48,856 and then promptly dropped off the edge of the earth 107 00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:50,926 until about this time last year. 108 00:05:52,941 --> 00:05:55,067 Maybe my life isn't what you expected 109 00:05:55,082 --> 00:05:57,551 'cause it sure as hell is not what I expected. 110 00:05:57,676 --> 00:05:59,404 But I'm not broken. 111 00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:01,589 Not like you were. 112 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,364 So if you came here to save me, 113 00:06:04,912 --> 00:06:06,501 you shouldn't have fucking come at all. 114 00:06:31,899 --> 00:06:33,577 - Here it comes. Yes. - Aw. 115 00:06:33,578 --> 00:06:35,391 What am I looking at here? Is this, uh... 116 00:06:35,421 --> 00:06:37,797 UFO footage? Come on. 117 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,758 - Oh. - I'm kidding. 118 00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:42,483 - You guys did good. - Guys, congratulations. 119 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,684 Are you kidding me? 120 00:06:43,691 --> 00:06:45,392 You've been through it three different times but... 121 00:06:46,782 --> 00:06:48,542 - Hey! - How many kids do you have? I forget. 122 00:06:49,377 --> 00:06:51,020 Hey. How long have you been there? 123 00:06:51,376 --> 00:06:54,755 Sorry, I just had a really weird meeting with my dad, 124 00:06:54,766 --> 00:06:57,666 so I'm just still a little, like, ah. 125 00:06:57,743 --> 00:07:00,024 - Are you okay? - What happened? 126 00:07:00,238 --> 00:07:01,394 She had a meeting with her dad? 127 00:07:01,402 --> 00:07:04,028 - We can talk about it later. - Just sit down. I'll get you a glass. 128 00:07:04,039 --> 00:07:06,866 Okay. Iz, this wasn't a planned thing. 129 00:07:06,877 --> 00:07:09,942 No, we were downtown and hadn't seen the sonogram yet. 130 00:07:10,215 --> 00:07:11,825 - Huh? - Should I be mad? 131 00:07:11,847 --> 00:07:13,593 I caught you guys having wine and cheese, 132 00:07:13,630 --> 00:07:15,206 not an orgy. 133 00:07:16,761 --> 00:07:18,220 It's amazing, right? 134 00:07:18,865 --> 00:07:20,177 - I'm... I'm good. - Okay. 135 00:07:20,185 --> 00:07:21,198 Okay. 136 00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,208 Mm-hmm. 137 00:07:26,743 --> 00:07:28,530 Kind of looks like a gnocchi. 138 00:07:28,714 --> 00:07:30,398 Six weeks. 139 00:07:30,597 --> 00:07:32,131 - It's pretty accurate. - Yeah. 140 00:07:35,340 --> 00:07:37,900 Hey, so Izzy, will you be joining us 141 00:07:37,918 --> 00:07:41,335 as we celebrate our hard-fought independence tomorrow? 142 00:07:41,946 --> 00:07:42,946 What? 143 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,456 Isn't... isn't that the 4th of July? 144 00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:48,747 Did you guys move it when I wasn't looking? 145 00:07:48,777 --> 00:07:50,763 Ah. No, this is when Hawthorne Heights 146 00:07:50,767 --> 00:07:52,350 was incorporated, when we escaped 147 00:07:52,351 --> 00:07:54,838 the brutal tyranny of Raleigh Hills. 148 00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:57,601 Yes, my liege. 149 00:07:57,638 --> 00:07:59,160 See, Izzy? We still day drink 150 00:07:59,175 --> 00:08:01,938 even after selling our souls for better schools and lower crime. 151 00:08:01,945 --> 00:08:04,469 Yes, we just make up ludicrous holidays as an excuse. 152 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,764 Love you, babe. 153 00:08:07,129 --> 00:08:09,414 - You have to come. - Mm. 154 00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:15,227 Unfortunately, I have a shift at Directions. 155 00:08:15,308 --> 00:08:16,308 Oh. 156 00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:19,294 And then probably a... feels like a... 157 00:08:19,419 --> 00:08:21,732 ... bad cold? 158 00:08:21,928 --> 00:08:23,564 You don't have to come. It's okay. 159 00:08:23,656 --> 00:08:24,850 I know it's not your thing. 160 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,704 - Unless you actually wanna go? - Hmm? 161 00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:29,135 Did you say something? 162 00:08:29,740 --> 00:08:30,740 Uh-oh. 163 00:08:31,030 --> 00:08:33,801 It means the cold's barreling through. 164 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,419 Hey, you know, for future reference, 165 00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:39,408 if you really wanna sell it, you gotta... 166 00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:41,995 you gotta almost, like, abrade your esophagus. 167 00:08:42,050 --> 00:08:43,926 Yeah. Uh-huh. 168 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:49,780 That, I buy. 169 00:09:02,119 --> 00:09:04,684 You have a Master's degree? Excellent. 170 00:09:04,757 --> 00:09:06,723 That's actually something we insist upon for our nanny. 171 00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:10,211 Our toddler and pre-toddler crave elevated discourse. 172 00:09:10,653 --> 00:09:12,134 I will bring my "A" game. 173 00:09:12,259 --> 00:09:15,167 Maybe we'll start a book club. 174 00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:18,140 Wow. Great crowd. 175 00:09:18,265 --> 00:09:21,095 You know, if you hire me, I'm literally here all week. 176 00:09:21,404 --> 00:09:23,443 Oh. We have seen a lot of clunkers. 177 00:09:23,568 --> 00:09:25,586 Yeah, it's pretty grim out there, right? 178 00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:26,931 Hear it all the time. 179 00:09:27,277 --> 00:09:28,895 So French Lit. 180 00:09:29,053 --> 00:09:31,920 My employment possibilities are infinite. 181 00:09:32,045 --> 00:09:33,411 My parents were thrilled. 182 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:34,782 Why don't you teach? 183 00:09:34,999 --> 00:09:36,319 I like to think I do. 184 00:09:39,323 --> 00:09:40,738 So obviously, you speak... 185 00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:42,184 Francais? Oui. 186 00:09:42,262 --> 00:09:45,542 Je parle couramment et j'aimerais aider vos enfants à apprendre. 187 00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:46,758 Okay, I don't know what you just said, 188 00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:49,360 but your very existence makes me wish we had 11 more kids. 189 00:09:49,397 --> 00:09:52,468 I said, yes, I am fluent. 190 00:09:52,482 --> 00:09:54,794 And I would be thrilled to teach your children, 191 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:57,120 if you're okay with that. 192 00:09:57,245 --> 00:10:00,412 I'm only semi-fluent, though, in Spanish. Sorry. 193 00:10:00,426 --> 00:10:02,466 - That is so disappointing. - So when can you start? 194 00:10:02,499 --> 00:10:04,411 - Tomorrow? - Okay, what's the catch? 195 00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:06,360 You're either a slaver or a cannibal. 196 00:10:06,404 --> 00:10:07,690 Does it have to be just one? 197 00:10:07,782 --> 00:10:11,474 Okay. This is officially one of the three best days of my life. 198 00:10:11,522 --> 00:10:12,606 Honey, we have two kids. 199 00:10:12,610 --> 00:10:14,102 Are you saying this is better than our wedding day? 200 00:10:14,117 --> 00:10:17,650 You got shitfaced, grinded on my great-aunt, when she was 80, so yes. 201 00:10:17,775 --> 00:10:19,080 It's one of the three best days of her life, 202 00:10:19,094 --> 00:10:20,981 I'll tell you that right now. 203 00:10:21,180 --> 00:10:22,499 She's laughing at my jokes, honey. 204 00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:25,201 - You see that? She laughs at my jokes. - I heard that, sweetie, yes. 205 00:10:25,808 --> 00:10:29,033 Anyway, on to the tawdry details, 206 00:10:29,048 --> 00:10:31,051 my rate is $40 an hour, 207 00:10:31,066 --> 00:10:33,303 minimum five hours per day, five days per week. 208 00:10:33,384 --> 00:10:34,843 Time and a half after 6. 209 00:10:37,643 --> 00:10:39,788 Hello? Are you guys still with me? 210 00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:43,429 Guess we know why you don't teach. 211 00:10:43,985 --> 00:10:45,050 I tell you what, 212 00:10:45,075 --> 00:10:49,007 why don't you write ads for skin tag cream and I'll do your job? 213 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,712 Better pay, shorter commute. 214 00:10:53,642 --> 00:10:56,311 It's funny 'cause it's true. 215 00:10:57,180 --> 00:10:58,526 Au revoir. 216 00:11:09,399 --> 00:11:13,408 Okay, so what about the law student? Um... 217 00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:16,605 Josh or Jake. 218 00:11:16,761 --> 00:11:18,787 The kid that showed up drunk 219 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,232 - and eye fucked you the entire time? - Yeah, yeah, that... 220 00:11:21,745 --> 00:11:22,851 that one. 221 00:11:31,180 --> 00:11:33,115 We can start looking at daycares. 222 00:11:41,332 --> 00:11:42,364 Thank you. 223 00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:48,096 Mm. 224 00:11:48,302 --> 00:11:51,496 Hey. 225 00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,911 - Why are you dressed? - Breakfast. Wanna come? 226 00:11:57,616 --> 00:11:58,811 What time is it? 227 00:11:58,873 --> 00:11:59,963 It's almost 9. 228 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,520 Oh, this is ridiculous. Come back to bed. 229 00:12:02,542 --> 00:12:04,871 Everybody knows breakfast doesn't start till noon. 230 00:12:04,911 --> 00:12:06,231 We're going to Trough. 231 00:12:06,411 --> 00:12:08,012 It's, like, the place in Hawthorne Heights. 232 00:12:08,036 --> 00:12:09,313 We used to eat there every Sunday. 233 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:12,248 Oh, if it's called Trough, how can it not be super cool? 234 00:12:12,277 --> 00:12:13,430 It is. 235 00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,067 The wait staff looks down on everybody 236 00:12:15,086 --> 00:12:16,821 like they can just barely tolerate you. 237 00:12:17,054 --> 00:12:19,142 - It's awesome. - Well, there's, um, 238 00:12:19,212 --> 00:12:22,429 there's an open thesis workshop at 10. I should go, too. 239 00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:25,675 Four pages of the menu are devoted just to pancakes. 240 00:12:25,708 --> 00:12:27,105 - Mm. - Four. 241 00:12:27,138 --> 00:12:28,299 It's hard to resist. 242 00:12:30,539 --> 00:12:31,539 Four. 243 00:12:34,150 --> 00:12:36,099 - Damnit. - What? 244 00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:37,720 I'm intrigued. 245 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,709 - Oh, she's coming. - Nice. 246 00:12:50,581 --> 00:12:51,889 Morning. 247 00:12:54,362 --> 00:12:55,624 You look like shit, 248 00:12:56,163 --> 00:12:58,577 - and I mean that literally. - Uh-huh. 249 00:12:59,954 --> 00:13:01,618 You know, it started with this chick 250 00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:03,419 that I'm in love with gut punched me. 251 00:13:04,255 --> 00:13:06,444 Then there was a lot of, uh, 252 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:08,990 I wanna say rum. 253 00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:12,460 I'm pretty sure the pirate part was a dream, though. 254 00:13:14,048 --> 00:13:16,960 You know, woke up... woke up here roughly 10 seconds ago. 255 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:19,716 That's, uh, that's a great story. 256 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:22,491 Bye-bye. 257 00:13:22,494 --> 00:13:24,193 Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 258 00:13:24,385 --> 00:13:26,224 - Please. - I appreciate it, okay? Thank you. 259 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:29,223 - For what? - Showing up so I can double you over. 260 00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:33,033 The terror in your eyes before you caught your breath was so fulfilling. 261 00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:36,102 - Well, it's not exactly... - Look, I have a thesis workshop, 262 00:13:36,117 --> 00:13:37,197 like, one minute ago. 263 00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:39,271 So this is where we part ways forever, okay? 264 00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:41,002 I'm gonna wish you the best, 265 00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:43,522 while secretly hoping that you stumble off a curb 266 00:13:43,537 --> 00:13:45,533 - into the path of a speeding bus. - Wait. 267 00:13:48,216 --> 00:13:49,553 I'm depressed. 268 00:13:49,925 --> 00:13:52,118 Yeah, a speeding bus should clear that right up. 269 00:13:54,203 --> 00:13:56,498 I stopped the meds, like, four years ago, 270 00:13:57,257 --> 00:13:59,715 which is around the time that 271 00:13:59,737 --> 00:14:01,613 the serial monogamy thing started. 272 00:14:02,563 --> 00:14:05,110 You know, tap into the romance rush 273 00:14:05,124 --> 00:14:07,615 and then cut and run as soon as it wears off. 274 00:14:09,159 --> 00:14:10,688 Where did you go? 275 00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,332 Salem. 276 00:14:16,225 --> 00:14:17,354 My parents' house. 277 00:14:20,522 --> 00:14:21,522 Fine. 278 00:14:21,583 --> 00:14:23,344 Outside Dennis Hall in an hour. 279 00:14:25,006 --> 00:14:27,464 - Thank you. - And for fuck's sake, take a shower. 280 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,180 Will do. 281 00:14:33,577 --> 00:14:35,450 I'm gonna sit back... 282 00:14:35,784 --> 00:14:37,966 I'm gonna sit back down for a minute. 283 00:14:41,091 --> 00:14:43,878 - Did we step back in time or what? - Mm. 284 00:14:43,905 --> 00:14:46,162 It's exactly how I remember it. 285 00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:49,230 - How old is this place again? - Uh, two, three years? 286 00:14:49,243 --> 00:14:52,113 Oh, wow. It's like I'm bathing in history. 287 00:14:55,278 --> 00:14:56,959 Hey, there she is. 288 00:14:56,977 --> 00:14:59,183 You're back. Awesome. 289 00:14:59,491 --> 00:15:03,351 This place is lit today. Am I right? 290 00:15:03,383 --> 00:15:06,339 - Off the hizook. - What is he doing? 291 00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:08,609 No, it's just... 292 00:15:08,734 --> 00:15:11,391 These people next to us are, like, super extra, too. 293 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,570 I don't know if you've seen 'em. 294 00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:16,135 Hey, so can we not? Because I'm super hungover. 295 00:15:16,881 --> 00:15:19,028 She's playing a role. 296 00:15:19,153 --> 00:15:20,736 Would you like to take our order? 297 00:15:20,778 --> 00:15:24,530 Am I standing by your table with a pen and a notepad? 298 00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,345 Well, fuck me, then. 299 00:15:29,399 --> 00:15:31,086 Oh, you're so good at that. 300 00:15:31,173 --> 00:15:32,956 I will have the uzhe. 301 00:15:34,853 --> 00:15:36,488 Stands for the "usual." 302 00:15:36,654 --> 00:15:39,380 We will both have the chocolate chip blueberry pancakes 303 00:15:39,385 --> 00:15:40,743 and a side of bacon. Thank you. 304 00:15:40,754 --> 00:15:42,773 - That's right. - And I will have the same. 305 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,384 We have such a good thing going on, she and I. 306 00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,251 We have this, like, dry banter back and forth. 307 00:15:48,259 --> 00:15:49,851 - I don't know if you guys noticed. - Oh, yeah? 308 00:15:49,862 --> 00:15:52,132 - Yeah. - I'm sure she sees it the same way, too, babe. 309 00:15:52,788 --> 00:15:54,870 Hey, I'm really glad you came. 310 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,022 I'm making an effort. 311 00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,357 And also, I'm gonna come by Hawthorne Day. 312 00:16:00,482 --> 00:16:02,818 I'm bringing Nina for moral support, but I'll be there. 313 00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:04,698 Oh, cool. 314 00:16:04,716 --> 00:16:05,961 - All right. - All right. 315 00:16:07,682 --> 00:16:10,662 Right. I don't know why I expected otherwise. 316 00:16:11,892 --> 00:16:13,075 What are you talking about? 317 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:15,102 Mm. Just the first time the three of us 318 00:16:15,115 --> 00:16:16,424 have been out together here. 319 00:16:16,847 --> 00:16:18,210 No, that... that's not true. 320 00:16:18,218 --> 00:16:20,668 Yep, just look at anybody, anybody in this room. 321 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,053 You know this wouldn't happen downtown. 322 00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:26,976 We can take a vote now. 323 00:16:27,001 --> 00:16:28,921 I vote for downtown. 324 00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:30,666 I'm gonna say something. 325 00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:32,033 No, we should say it together, you know? 326 00:16:32,044 --> 00:16:33,337 - Like a solidarity thing. - No, you guys, please. 327 00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:37,309 - Do not... do not do that. - I'm with unicorn here. 328 00:16:37,570 --> 00:16:38,862 Don't make it weird. 329 00:16:39,761 --> 00:16:40,929 Thank you. 330 00:16:46,246 --> 00:16:47,474 She is awesome. 331 00:16:48,156 --> 00:16:50,659 Yeah, she's... on fleek. 332 00:16:50,784 --> 00:16:51,784 Oh, God. 333 00:16:51,848 --> 00:16:54,136 Did you go on Urban Dictionary before we got here? 334 00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,322 Because I, like... 335 00:16:56,490 --> 00:16:57,707 Do you even know what that is? 336 00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:59,771 - Yeah, it's when if somebody comes into a room. - No. 337 00:16:59,795 --> 00:17:01,350 - No. - You give them like a salute. 338 00:17:01,372 --> 00:17:02,400 What? 339 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,702 Hope you're happy. 340 00:17:10,023 --> 00:17:11,844 Your stupid abs broke my hand. 341 00:17:12,662 --> 00:17:13,759 Seriously? 342 00:17:14,774 --> 00:17:17,429 Probably not, but it hurts. 343 00:17:18,940 --> 00:17:20,317 I'm sorry. 344 00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:24,042 Why didn't you tell me? 345 00:17:25,518 --> 00:17:27,078 That I've been doing a lot of crunches? 346 00:17:27,111 --> 00:17:29,576 About your weird self-treatment program. 347 00:17:31,469 --> 00:17:34,414 I... didn't figure it out until I lost you. 348 00:17:34,627 --> 00:17:37,026 Okay, you didn't lose me, Andrew. 349 00:17:37,063 --> 00:17:38,353 You choreographed a series of 350 00:17:38,397 --> 00:17:40,648 bullshit arguments ramping to a breakup. 351 00:17:41,587 --> 00:17:42,880 Usual pattern? 352 00:17:43,219 --> 00:17:44,638 More or less, yeah. 353 00:17:45,839 --> 00:17:47,625 The difference is what happened after. 354 00:17:49,159 --> 00:17:50,427 I, uh, 355 00:17:51,144 --> 00:17:52,343 I got drunk. 356 00:17:55,039 --> 00:17:56,944 Did that sound more likely 357 00:17:56,962 --> 00:17:59,033 to inspire sympathy in your head? 358 00:17:59,254 --> 00:18:00,559 For five days. 359 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,391 Woke up in the hospital, and my parents had to come 360 00:18:04,645 --> 00:18:05,891 and take me home. 361 00:18:07,331 --> 00:18:08,331 Then what? 362 00:18:08,422 --> 00:18:11,679 Got up one morning, my Pops already had my backpack filled. 363 00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:14,022 Meds included. 364 00:18:15,735 --> 00:18:19,346 Spent a couple weeks camping. 365 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,609 Well, that explains the weird woodsy selfies. 366 00:18:21,631 --> 00:18:22,670 Yeah. 367 00:18:26,745 --> 00:18:29,324 So... so wait, you're telling me that... 368 00:18:29,449 --> 00:18:32,092 that women stopped working as your anti-depressants 369 00:18:32,788 --> 00:18:34,664 - because... - Because I fell in love for real. 370 00:18:37,666 --> 00:18:40,964 Fucking it up with you, it ran me off the rails, 371 00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:43,215 over the cliff, and I, uh... 372 00:18:43,595 --> 00:18:45,875 So what? I take you back or you off yourself? 373 00:18:46,944 --> 00:18:49,338 Really? You're gonna drop all your shit on top of my shit? 374 00:18:49,341 --> 00:18:52,146 I just want you to know what I said that night, I, um... 375 00:18:54,832 --> 00:18:56,126 It's not me, it's you? 376 00:18:56,173 --> 00:18:58,270 Yeah, there's nothing wrong with you. 377 00:19:01,214 --> 00:19:05,460 You are absolutely perfectly Nina Martone. 378 00:19:08,544 --> 00:19:10,217 That's pretty fucking amazing. 379 00:19:14,269 --> 00:19:17,445 Uh, I am super late for work. 380 00:19:18,127 --> 00:19:19,957 And for the sake of my exit, let's just 381 00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:21,852 both pretend I care about that. 382 00:19:24,627 --> 00:19:27,478 - Okay. - I'm gonna need a beat to process this, okay? 383 00:19:28,941 --> 00:19:30,942 Yeah, definitely, definitely. 384 00:19:36,414 --> 00:19:37,386 Nice ass. 385 00:19:37,389 --> 00:19:39,379 - Too soon. - Okay. 386 00:19:52,794 --> 00:19:54,257 Hey! 387 00:19:54,917 --> 00:19:56,453 How's that hand, Rocky? 388 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:57,886 It's fine. 389 00:19:58,505 --> 00:20:01,636 It hurts. I, uh, I can't even make a decent fist. 390 00:20:01,677 --> 00:20:02,857 Yeah, well, that's... 391 00:20:03,063 --> 00:20:04,621 that's probably for the best. 392 00:20:05,052 --> 00:20:06,711 Here, let's see. 393 00:20:14,212 --> 00:20:15,560 You're being weird. 394 00:20:16,504 --> 00:20:18,411 How am I being weird? I'm icing your hand. 395 00:20:18,972 --> 00:20:20,179 Say something. 396 00:20:20,793 --> 00:20:22,005 About what? 397 00:20:22,941 --> 00:20:25,841 About the fact that we were roughly an inch from kissing again 398 00:20:25,865 --> 00:20:27,890 when Andy Cutler strolled back into the movie. 399 00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:29,846 Oh, that. 400 00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:31,796 Yeah, I know, I totally blocked that out. 401 00:20:31,804 --> 00:20:34,026 I mean, that seems like ages ago now, right? 402 00:20:35,496 --> 00:20:38,355 Well, apparently losing me put him in a straitjacket. 403 00:20:40,694 --> 00:20:42,743 Does that make you feel better? 404 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,644 A little. 405 00:20:47,054 --> 00:20:48,178 A lot. 406 00:20:48,628 --> 00:20:51,590 Is it just me or did he get smaller? 407 00:20:51,630 --> 00:20:53,955 Do you know? He looked anemic. He looked ill. 408 00:20:53,988 --> 00:20:56,198 I mean, he just curdled, I mean, he... 409 00:20:56,224 --> 00:20:59,452 Okay, okay, on a scale from 1 to 10 410 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,551 with the options being 9 or 10, 411 00:21:01,592 --> 00:21:02,832 how jealous are you right now? 412 00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:03,855 - Me? - Yeah. 413 00:21:03,864 --> 00:21:04,848 - Jealous? - Yeah. 414 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:07,199 Of that little sad waif you bitch beat yesterday? 415 00:21:07,229 --> 00:21:08,169 - Mm-hmm. - Come on. 416 00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:09,348 You beat up a waif? 417 00:21:09,842 --> 00:21:10,892 Why? 418 00:21:11,091 --> 00:21:12,256 Actually, don't tell me. 419 00:21:12,285 --> 00:21:14,146 You can tell me on the way to Hawthorne Heights. 420 00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:16,769 - Hi, Shaun. - Oh, shit. Sorry, Iz. 421 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,795 - What? - I... I can't go. 422 00:21:18,873 --> 00:21:20,862 I didn't have time to formulate an excuse, 423 00:21:20,884 --> 00:21:22,733 but I just remember that I hate it there. 424 00:21:23,245 --> 00:21:25,223 You wanna go to a super fun party. 425 00:21:25,495 --> 00:21:26,516 - I do. - He doesn't. 426 00:21:26,546 --> 00:21:27,666 - I don't? - He does. 427 00:21:27,684 --> 00:21:28,919 - Now? - Yes. 428 00:21:28,977 --> 00:21:30,281 You got this, right, bud? 429 00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:33,850 Can we at least make fun of them? 430 00:21:34,012 --> 00:21:35,854 - Why wouldn't we? - Fine. 431 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:51,863 It was like a war movie. 432 00:21:51,904 --> 00:21:53,875 There was just explosions in the air 433 00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,183 as far as the eye can see. 434 00:21:55,209 --> 00:21:57,172 We were taking heavy fire. It was total chaos. 435 00:21:57,239 --> 00:21:59,792 People hiding behind trees and shielding their children. 436 00:21:59,836 --> 00:22:01,855 In my memory, everything was in slow motion. 437 00:22:01,884 --> 00:22:03,896 There was a kind of a dramatic soundtrack 438 00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:05,049 playing in the background. 439 00:22:05,174 --> 00:22:07,278 And I dropped to my knees like Willam Dafoe 440 00:22:07,311 --> 00:22:09,370 at the end of "Platoon" with the silent scream. 441 00:22:09,444 --> 00:22:11,002 Yeah, but that actually happened. 442 00:22:11,017 --> 00:22:12,354 I mean, you really did that. 443 00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:14,200 - I did? - Yep. 444 00:22:14,226 --> 00:22:16,867 And that, Hannah, is why we no longer incorporate fireworks 445 00:22:16,874 --> 00:22:19,369 into Hawthorne Day. 446 00:22:19,898 --> 00:22:22,830 - I'm talking about Jack. - Yeah, we get it, man. Thanks. 447 00:22:22,955 --> 00:22:25,266 Man, I'm feeling a little bit on the outside looking in here. 448 00:22:25,285 --> 00:22:28,066 Oh, no, no, just... just laugh when everybody else laughs. 449 00:22:28,077 --> 00:22:29,803 And then eventually we'll all assume you were here. 450 00:22:29,827 --> 00:22:31,996 No, I mean, it must be intimidating with all this history, 451 00:22:31,997 --> 00:22:33,172 but you'll find your place. 452 00:22:33,297 --> 00:22:35,122 Or not. No, you will. 453 00:22:35,446 --> 00:22:36,633 I mean time will tell. 454 00:22:37,251 --> 00:22:39,853 Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah. 455 00:22:39,867 --> 00:22:43,221 I mean, it's kind of like leaving a paper trail on your way north 456 00:22:43,394 --> 00:22:44,400 and burning all your numbers, 457 00:22:44,407 --> 00:22:46,909 and then just trying to drop back in like it never happened. 458 00:22:47,314 --> 00:22:49,308 No, but like you said, time will tell so... 459 00:22:50,177 --> 00:22:53,072 Uh, is this over me? 460 00:22:53,102 --> 00:22:54,941 Like a friendship triangle? 461 00:22:54,963 --> 00:22:56,768 Because I will milk the shit out of it. 462 00:22:56,783 --> 00:22:58,006 Okay. 463 00:22:58,131 --> 00:22:59,410 I miss this. 464 00:23:01,009 --> 00:23:02,092 I miss... 465 00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:04,693 this place. I miss you guys. I miss... 466 00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:06,643 pretty much all of it. 467 00:23:06,650 --> 00:23:08,415 You know your unabashed sincerity 468 00:23:08,426 --> 00:23:10,239 is kind of making me uncomfortable. 469 00:23:10,714 --> 00:23:13,761 Not as uncomfortable as that Castro beard is making me. 470 00:23:13,787 --> 00:23:15,376 Castro beard? There's my guy. 471 00:23:15,382 --> 00:23:16,830 How long have you had that in the hopper? 472 00:23:16,844 --> 00:23:18,690 - Tip of the hat. - Tip of the... just... 473 00:23:18,723 --> 00:23:20,472 Sorry I got the bigger hat, too. 474 00:23:20,496 --> 00:23:21,808 It's okay. I got the bigger penis. 475 00:23:21,832 --> 00:23:24,618 Hey, the Wilbergs are putting their place up on the market. 476 00:23:24,651 --> 00:23:27,121 So if you ever decide that a third story loft 477 00:23:27,135 --> 00:23:29,268 with no elevator is not the ideal way to raise a child... 478 00:23:29,279 --> 00:23:31,958 I bet I could get you guys in for an advanced screening. 479 00:23:32,356 --> 00:23:34,050 Hey, speaking of screening, you know, 480 00:23:34,065 --> 00:23:36,305 we could probably finally figure out if the legends are true 481 00:23:36,316 --> 00:23:39,196 and they really have a 4K stereo surround sound 482 00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:42,288 Dolby digital theater system in their basement! My God! 483 00:23:42,343 --> 00:23:44,369 Wow. Do you guys need some alone time or... 484 00:23:44,391 --> 00:23:46,392 - It's fine. - Just really love technology. 485 00:23:46,414 --> 00:23:47,464 Oh, I get excited. 486 00:23:47,482 --> 00:23:49,784 So what do you say, Trakarskys, do you wanna check it out? 487 00:23:50,123 --> 00:23:52,353 Izzy said she'd rather sleep under a bridge. 488 00:23:52,434 --> 00:23:55,131 I don't think a home theater system's gonna sway her. 489 00:23:55,142 --> 00:23:58,691 I mean, we can check it out, right? What's the harm in that? 490 00:24:25,371 --> 00:24:26,917 You look lost... 491 00:24:28,486 --> 00:24:29,872 Are you looking for the party? 492 00:24:31,290 --> 00:24:32,665 I'm looking for my girlfriend. 493 00:24:34,662 --> 00:24:37,673 Or maybe my ex-girlfriend. I'm not really sure anymore. 494 00:24:39,286 --> 00:24:40,443 Kylie. 495 00:24:44,006 --> 00:24:45,403 Izzy. 496 00:24:46,021 --> 00:24:48,409 - God, I love that house. - What's not to love? 497 00:24:48,704 --> 00:24:49,964 I'd live there. 498 00:24:54,934 --> 00:24:56,482 Well, fuck. 499 00:25:00,712 --> 00:25:05,712 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -