1
00:00:00,606 --> 00:00:02,208
The adventure begins.

2
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:03,902
Previously on "You Me Her"...

3
00:00:04,191 --> 00:00:06,095
Were you drunk this time?

4
00:00:06,181 --> 00:00:07,431
- No.
- Me neither.

5
00:00:07,861 --> 00:00:09,111
My November rent.

6
00:00:09,204 --> 00:00:10,804
Only fair, 'cause I
didn't give you any notice.

7
00:00:10,805 --> 00:00:11,866
No.

8
00:00:11,868 --> 00:00:13,961
Hope it works out for you, rebound girl.

9
00:00:14,102 --> 00:00:16,173
Yeah, you better fucking run!

10
00:00:16,241 --> 00:00:18,243
She wasn't my first girl. Or my second.

11
00:00:18,245 --> 00:00:20,958
Well, she seemed pretty eager to
get back on that bike, didn't she?

12
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,266
I thought I lost you.

13
00:00:22,334 --> 00:00:25,943
My brilliant wife has
just accepted a seat

14
00:00:25,945 --> 00:00:29,368
on the prestigious Hamilton
School Alumni Board.

15
00:00:29,370 --> 00:00:31,237
- Mom?
- I don't know what you think you heard.

16
00:00:31,239 --> 00:00:33,278
We got some negotiating to do, don't we?

17
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,175
This whole "niece that
fell from the sky" issue

18
00:00:36,177 --> 00:00:37,829
continues to bother me.

19
00:00:37,831 --> 00:00:39,946
Lori has assigned me
to use the interwebs

20
00:00:39,948 --> 00:00:41,958
to find out whether Izzy
is or isn't your niece.

21
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,786
- Shit.
- She knows I can do it. I can do it.

22
00:00:44,788 --> 00:00:47,107
- We got the theater project.
- That's so great.

23
00:00:47,108 --> 00:00:49,213
Well, everyone says
I'm gonna get partner.

24
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,184
You do remember

25
00:00:50,185 --> 00:00:52,337
we're having everybody over
for the game tomorrow, right?

26
00:00:52,338 --> 00:00:54,982
- We're doing this.
- We are?

27
00:00:55,031 --> 00:00:56,595
Fuck yeah, we are.

28
00:00:57,009 --> 00:00:59,273
This is our choice, and
this is what we want.

29
00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:00,681
Do it.

30
00:01:21,119 --> 00:01:24,519
Synced by peritta - corrected by chamallow
www.addic7ed.com

31
00:01:46,311 --> 00:01:48,514
What are you fucking doing?

32
00:01:49,581 --> 00:01:51,403
Don't fucking do it.

33
00:01:53,211 --> 00:01:54,944
Don't fucking...

34
00:01:59,591 --> 00:02:00,592
She knows.

35
00:02:00,626 --> 00:02:02,628
I'm trying to save you
from yourself, dipshit.

36
00:02:02,784 --> 00:02:04,194
Yeah, well, maybe you should try

37
00:02:04,196 --> 00:02:06,131
and save yourself from that... that...

38
00:02:06,198 --> 00:02:07,933
God damn it, you look super cute.

39
00:02:07,935 --> 00:02:08,899
Really?

40
00:02:08,901 --> 00:02:09,979
Thanks.

41
00:02:09,998 --> 00:02:11,165
So you'll help me with the toast?

42
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:12,537
Nah, I think I'll let you tie the noose

43
00:02:12,538 --> 00:02:14,540
and kick out the chair.

44
00:02:16,868 --> 00:02:17,952
Great party.

45
00:02:17,954 --> 00:02:19,278
Hey, Gabe.

46
00:02:20,928 --> 00:02:22,929
- Hey, little brother.
- Hey.

47
00:02:23,301 --> 00:02:25,964
What in the Sam fuck are you doing?

48
00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:28,491
You know what? Not now, Gabe, okay?

49
00:02:28,493 --> 00:02:29,946
- Mm.
- What are you doing?

50
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:33,387
- What was that about?
- Mm.

51
00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:35,559
- Again.
- Ohh!

52
00:02:37,148 --> 00:02:39,366
You cheering against the
Ducks? Is that what's happening?

53
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,019
- You ready?
- Everyone has drinks.

54
00:02:42,107 --> 00:02:43,549
Okay, let's do it.

55
00:02:46,872 --> 00:02:49,070
Yes! Oh! Beautiful.

56
00:02:49,072 --> 00:02:51,176
Yo.

57
00:02:52,783 --> 00:02:56,459
Uh, can... can someone pause
the game for a second, please?

58
00:02:57,316 --> 00:02:59,235
- Don't do this.
- I have to.

59
00:02:59,237 --> 00:03:01,567
- Don't pause it.
- Yeah.

60
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:05,208
Okay, could everybody...
raise their glasses?

61
00:03:05,403 --> 00:03:06,558
Drinks up.

62
00:03:06,592 --> 00:03:10,013
We have some very exciting
news we want to share with you

63
00:03:10,015 --> 00:03:13,596
because, really, we're more
like family than neighbors.

64
00:03:16,743 --> 00:03:18,212
Aren't we?

65
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:20,706
When you really think about it?

66
00:03:22,388 --> 00:03:24,180
Yeah, we are.

67
00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:26,586
Okay, um...

68
00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:29,148
I'm Izzy.

69
00:03:30,718 --> 00:03:32,119
This is Izzy.

70
00:03:32,284 --> 00:03:34,763
She just said that.

71
00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:37,156
I'm sorry. I don't understand
what's going on here.

72
00:03:37,158 --> 00:03:38,997
Why... why are you presenting your niece

73
00:03:38,999 --> 00:03:40,672
like it's her coming-out party?

74
00:03:41,385 --> 00:03:42,720
It's act... it's kind of funny

75
00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:45,883
you used the phrase
"coming out," um, because...

76
00:03:46,802 --> 00:03:50,544
Because, um, I'm not their niece.

77
00:03:51,303 --> 00:03:52,838
- Oh.
- Um...

78
00:03:53,906 --> 00:03:55,424
We're together!

79
00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:58,205
We're a throuple.

80
00:04:02,016 --> 00:04:04,508
We're living together,
like romantically.

81
00:04:04,510 --> 00:04:05,984
Mm-hmm.

82
00:04:08,135 --> 00:04:10,826
Yeah, so cheers, everyone, okay?

83
00:04:10,828 --> 00:04:11,933
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

84
00:04:11,934 --> 00:04:13,234
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

85
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:18,566
- Keep Portland weird.
- Keep Portland weird.

86
00:04:18,568 --> 00:04:19,688
Oh, my God.

87
00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:21,435
A third... what's that called? Polygamy?

88
00:04:21,733 --> 00:04:22,909
- Polyamory.
- Polyamory.

89
00:04:22,911 --> 00:04:24,687
So Emma's bisexual now?

90
00:04:24,689 --> 00:04:26,824
Yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah.

91
00:04:26,826 --> 00:04:28,113
We both are. I'm bisexual.

92
00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:29,402
Sorry, I...

93
00:04:29,414 --> 00:04:30,877
H... hang on.

94
00:04:31,109 --> 00:04:33,651
Um, Ava, you're the one

95
00:04:33,653 --> 00:04:36,338
who showed me Jacqueline
Isabelle's profile.

96
00:04:37,282 --> 00:04:38,416
What?

97
00:04:39,188 --> 00:04:41,286
I... I... I don't...

98
00:04:41,353 --> 00:04:42,867
Oh.

99
00:04:43,004 --> 00:04:46,425
The Trakarskys and... and the Amaris

100
00:04:46,492 --> 00:04:49,364
are scheming against me once again.

101
00:04:49,366 --> 00:04:52,196
Only this time, they've
recruited my own daughter

102
00:04:52,198 --> 00:04:55,003
to cover up their degenerate sexcapades.

103
00:04:55,306 --> 00:04:58,437
You know, wow, really does
sound tawdry the way she says it.

104
00:04:58,961 --> 00:05:00,441
And, little Missy,

105
00:05:00,617 --> 00:05:03,762
you can say bye-bye to
that shiny new 3 Series.

106
00:05:03,764 --> 00:05:06,979
No, no, no. I earned that car.

107
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,597
I'm gonna be class president.

108
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:09,734
Mm.

109
00:05:09,964 --> 00:05:12,317
Ava, not to pile on, but
that deal's off the table

110
00:05:12,319 --> 00:05:13,662
now that I don't work there anymore.

111
00:05:13,663 --> 00:05:15,106
You were also bribing her?

112
00:05:15,108 --> 00:05:16,981
God damn it, we really
should've brought notes.

113
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:21,256
Yes. Yes, they...
they tried to bribe me.

114
00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:24,570
And Emma threatened to break
my leg if I didn't help them.

115
00:05:24,572 --> 00:05:28,000
I was so scared, Mommy.

116
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:29,935
"Mommy," really?

117
00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:31,403
Seriously?

118
00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:33,504
Okay, you know what?
Everybody calm down.

119
00:05:33,506 --> 00:05:36,803
While certain elements of
what Ava said are true...

120
00:05:36,805 --> 00:05:38,746
Yeah, let's... let's
stick to the facts, Ava.

121
00:05:38,748 --> 00:05:41,920
I threatened to hurt her
if she told her mother,

122
00:05:41,922 --> 00:05:43,147
not to make her help us.

123
00:05:43,149 --> 00:05:44,172
Oh, well...

124
00:05:44,174 --> 00:05:45,909
Emma.

125
00:05:45,911 --> 00:05:49,123
Then suddenly our lives became a
suburban revival of "The Crucible."

126
00:05:49,125 --> 00:05:54,664
This deviant relationship...
i... it might be official now,

127
00:05:55,373 --> 00:05:58,116
but your contract with
the Hamilton School is not.

128
00:05:58,118 --> 00:06:00,213
And I promise you the Alumni Board

129
00:06:00,232 --> 00:06:02,792
are gonna find this new information

130
00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:04,267
very interesting.

131
00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:06,303
You're awesome.

132
00:06:08,873 --> 00:06:09,809
Em...

133
00:06:25,869 --> 00:06:26,870
It's all cool.

134
00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:30,032
Everybody just... you guys relax.

135
00:06:30,034 --> 00:06:31,596
Don't look so worried.

136
00:06:31,663 --> 00:06:33,241
It's fine.

137
00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:35,934
We're so fucked.

138
00:06:36,552 --> 00:06:37,803
No.

139
00:06:37,869 --> 00:06:39,353
No, we are so fucked.

140
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,482
I'm gonna lose my promotion, and...

141
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,757
I mean, what was I thinking?
What was I thinking?

142
00:06:43,759 --> 00:06:45,505
Who threatens to break
a little girl's leg?

143
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,162
- We're gonna lose everything.
- No, we're not.

144
00:06:47,163 --> 00:06:48,283
- Yeah, we are.
- No, we're not.

145
00:06:48,284 --> 00:06:49,271
Yeah, we are.

146
00:06:49,273 --> 00:06:51,048
- We're gonna lose everything.
- Emma, no, listen to me.

147
00:06:51,049 --> 00:06:52,208
Yes, listen, you don't have a job.

148
00:06:52,209 --> 00:06:54,565
- I'm gonna lose...
- Listen to me, okay?

149
00:06:54,824 --> 00:06:55,927
Kiss me.

150
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,066
Kiss me

151
00:06:57,434 --> 00:06:59,400
like you saw my plane crash,

152
00:06:59,596 --> 00:07:01,349
but you didn't know I parachuted out

153
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,694
until I came up behind you
and tapped you on the shoulder.

154
00:07:03,695 --> 00:07:05,299
- Okay.
- Okay?

155
00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:12,799
Okay, s... so that's,
like, a thing with you guys.

156
00:07:13,505 --> 00:07:15,907
Well, I... I can do that.

157
00:07:15,974 --> 00:07:17,242
Watch this.

158
00:07:17,275 --> 00:07:20,107
Kiss me like I just
went Uma fucking Thurman

159
00:07:20,109 --> 00:07:22,271
on 40 ninja assassins,

160
00:07:22,273 --> 00:07:24,762
and... and zip-lined you to safety.

161
00:07:32,547 --> 00:07:33,624
All right, my turn.

162
00:07:33,626 --> 00:07:34,657
Kiss me

163
00:07:34,843 --> 00:07:37,430
like we're two astronauts,

164
00:07:37,432 --> 00:07:39,798
and there's a comet
headed for the earth.

165
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,193
And we mount it, we manage to divert it,

166
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,419
but at the last second,
your boot gets stuck.

167
00:07:44,421 --> 00:07:45,659
- Oh.
- Right?

168
00:07:45,661 --> 00:07:47,804
And I'm like, "I'm
not leaving you, honey.

169
00:07:47,873 --> 00:07:49,604
No way," right?

170
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:51,930
And then the Aerosmith
song starts playing,

171
00:07:51,932 --> 00:07:53,974
and we stop bickering just long enough

172
00:07:53,976 --> 00:07:55,437
- to grab each other...
- Sorry.

173
00:07:55,439 --> 00:07:56,858
Um...

174
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,685
So, it's not so much
kissing as it is like...

175
00:07:59,951 --> 00:08:02,578
like knocking visors.

176
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:04,841
We're about to die anyway,
so we take off our helmets.

177
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,494
Just grab each other by the face.

178
00:08:06,496 --> 00:08:08,452
Well, yeah, but at which point,
your head would, like, explode

179
00:08:08,453 --> 00:08:10,122
because you're hurtling through
space at like a million miles...

180
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:12,296
- Oh, just kiss me.
- Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

181
00:08:12,298 --> 00:08:13,624
I mean, I won't even ask

182
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:16,276
how two people can possibly divert a...

183
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:18,581
You know what? I... I've got a good one.

184
00:08:18,770 --> 00:08:23,308
Kiss me like I built a time machine

185
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,021
and I went back to the night

186
00:08:25,023 --> 00:08:26,958
that Lori Matherfield's parents met,

187
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,337
seduced her father, married him,

188
00:08:30,767 --> 00:08:32,793
devoted five years making sure

189
00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:35,645
that no version of
Lori was ever conceived,

190
00:08:35,647 --> 00:08:39,581
built another time
machine in our basement

191
00:08:40,397 --> 00:08:43,200
with, like, crude 1970s technology,

192
00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:45,489
then finally made my way to you.

193
00:08:45,491 --> 00:08:47,470
Oh, that is good.

194
00:08:47,605 --> 00:08:51,075
That is so, so good.

195
00:08:52,397 --> 00:08:54,279
Not as good as the astronaut one.

196
00:09:00,390 --> 00:09:02,745
Okay, can you guys... disengage?

197
00:09:02,747 --> 00:09:03,804
'Cause it's my turn.

198
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,727
- Kiss me like...
- You know what?

199
00:09:05,729 --> 00:09:06,930
I'm gonna need a tongue break.

200
00:09:06,932 --> 00:09:09,138
- She's done.
- No, you... you guys were great.

201
00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:10,588
- Yeah, awesome.
- Thanks.

202
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:11,790
Okay, but just for the record,

203
00:09:11,791 --> 00:09:13,560
- I had a really good one, so it's gonna be...
- Hey.

204
00:09:13,561 --> 00:09:15,179
- ... clearly the best of the night.
- It's not...

205
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,564
Guys, it's not a competition.

206
00:09:16,791 --> 00:09:17,925
- Of course it's not.
- No.

207
00:09:18,412 --> 00:09:19,945
No, it's about you.

208
00:09:20,396 --> 00:09:21,820
But if it was...

209
00:09:22,935 --> 00:09:24,195
- I would've won.
- ... I could...

210
00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:25,415
Uh, guys.

211
00:09:26,328 --> 00:09:27,706
It's a tie.

212
00:09:27,772 --> 00:09:30,415
I declare this a tie, so thank you.

213
00:09:30,417 --> 00:09:32,056
- Okay.
- And thank you.

214
00:09:32,058 --> 00:09:33,137
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

215
00:09:33,321 --> 00:09:35,256
I can live with that.

216
00:09:35,352 --> 00:09:36,501
I can totally live with that.

217
00:09:36,502 --> 00:09:38,103
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

218
00:09:40,248 --> 00:09:42,330
Deep down, you'll
always know that I won.

219
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,873
- Oh, come on. She...
- You know what?

220
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,801
You were great. You were great.

221
00:09:52,230 --> 00:09:55,314
I can't believe they used our party
for their dumbass announcement.

222
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,148
Should we start watching
our language around Callie?

223
00:09:57,149 --> 00:09:59,217
- Why?
- Gonna go to pre-pre-school next year

224
00:09:59,219 --> 00:10:00,437
and tell everybody to suck her dick?

225
00:10:00,438 --> 00:10:02,877
- I think we're fine. Ah-om!
- Mmm.

226
00:10:02,879 --> 00:10:04,966
Have you even told Jack what
massive cock-turd he is yet?

227
00:10:04,967 --> 00:10:06,537
Honey, it's 7:40 in the morning.

228
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,144
I will give him a thorough
castigation when I get to work.

229
00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,272
Should we have their
backs on this thing?

230
00:10:11,273 --> 00:10:13,465
- Hey, hey.
- No, of course not. That's stupid.

231
00:10:13,515 --> 00:10:15,783
Freaking out is totally the
appropriate reaction to have

232
00:10:15,785 --> 00:10:18,866
to your best neighbor friends
pulling a permanent threesome.

233
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,403
Hello, Dave?

234
00:10:20,405 --> 00:10:21,424
Oh, I'm sorry.

235
00:10:21,426 --> 00:10:23,027
I thought you were doing
a rhetorical monologue...

236
00:10:23,028 --> 00:10:25,748
kind of a one-woman show
thing. There some in there?

237
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,209
I just can't help but
feel a little bit...

238
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,215
Open, open.

239
00:10:28,217 --> 00:10:29,476
... I don't know... Lori-esque.

240
00:10:29,478 --> 00:10:30,867
Like, maybe we've become...

241
00:10:30,869 --> 00:10:32,800
- Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba.
- ... uncool.

242
00:10:33,505 --> 00:10:34,936
Uncool?

243
00:10:35,257 --> 00:10:37,145
What are you talking
about? I smoke weed.

244
00:10:37,147 --> 00:10:40,067
A... and I stay right on top
of my Spotify Discover Weekly.

245
00:10:40,069 --> 00:10:41,962
I mean, lately it has
been recommending the Fray

246
00:10:41,964 --> 00:10:42,997
based on artists I like,

247
00:10:42,999 --> 00:10:44,672
which is, uh, a little unsettling.

248
00:10:44,937 --> 00:10:46,205
You know, we say smoke weed,

249
00:10:46,207 --> 00:10:47,739
but when was the last
time we actually did it?

250
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:49,574
When was the last time
we did something sexual

251
00:10:49,576 --> 00:10:51,889
anyone would find remotely
disturbing, even Lori?

252
00:10:51,891 --> 00:10:53,098
When was the last time we even just...

253
00:10:53,099 --> 00:10:54,231
Okay, I get it. So, you're saying

254
00:10:54,232 --> 00:10:55,540
that we're provincial
and we're judgmental

255
00:10:55,541 --> 00:10:57,771
because what, we're...
we're not cool anymore?

256
00:10:57,773 --> 00:10:59,242
We're too uncool?

257
00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:01,130
Does that matter to us?

258
00:11:03,526 --> 00:11:04,916
No.

259
00:11:04,918 --> 00:11:06,672
No. No.

260
00:11:07,057 --> 00:11:08,813
Oh, okay, 'cause I was gonna say yes.

261
00:11:08,815 --> 00:11:10,343
- Fuck, I knew it.
- Fuck.

262
00:11:13,743 --> 00:11:15,651
Maybe we start to clean
it up a little bit.

263
00:11:41,807 --> 00:11:43,209
Hey, Dani.

264
00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:44,810
How's it hangin', boss woman?

265
00:11:46,347 --> 00:11:47,671
Sorry, that was... that was dumb.

266
00:11:48,295 --> 00:11:49,895
Well, hey, what a surprise.

267
00:11:49,897 --> 00:11:51,550
Yeah, so...

268
00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:53,468
Uh... Wait, why?

269
00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:54,861
Come on in, have a seat.

270
00:11:55,333 --> 00:11:56,661
Okay. Um...

271
00:11:57,267 --> 00:11:59,681
There is a little situation

272
00:11:59,683 --> 00:12:01,595
that I kind of want to get in front of.

273
00:12:01,597 --> 00:12:03,763
You're referring to your
new domestic arrangement?

274
00:12:03,829 --> 00:12:05,348
Uh...

275
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,540
Very progressive, so cool,

276
00:12:07,542 --> 00:12:09,319
all about it, or don't give a shit.

277
00:12:09,321 --> 00:12:10,719
Whichever, pick one.

278
00:12:11,585 --> 00:12:13,516
Wow.

279
00:12:14,635 --> 00:12:16,480
Phew. You... You don't know
how relieved it makes me

280
00:12:16,481 --> 00:12:17,526
to hear you say that.

281
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,936
Please tell me that you did not threaten

282
00:12:19,938 --> 00:12:22,467
to break the leg of a Hamilton student.

283
00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:26,101
It was just a misunderstanding, right?

284
00:12:26,183 --> 00:12:27,351
Um...

285
00:12:29,078 --> 00:12:32,447
Well, I... I wouldn't categorize it

286
00:12:32,449 --> 00:12:34,359
so much as a misunderstanding...

287
00:12:34,361 --> 00:12:35,619
- Fuck a puppy!
- What?

288
00:12:35,621 --> 00:12:37,063
No! No puppy fucking.

289
00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:38,798
We... We were under a lot of stress.

290
00:12:39,262 --> 00:12:40,963
Did you know that she
was blackmailing us?

291
00:12:40,965 --> 00:12:43,179
Honestly, this Lori person
sounds like a real cunt.

292
00:12:43,277 --> 00:12:44,554
Yes, she is.

293
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,097
She really is a...

294
00:12:46,431 --> 00:12:48,221
Are... Are we using that word now?

295
00:12:48,223 --> 00:12:49,324
We're owning it.

296
00:12:50,153 --> 00:12:52,692
Look, everyone is
scared shitless of her,

297
00:12:52,694 --> 00:12:55,307
and she has threatened to
send out a blanket e-mail

298
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,092
to all of the Hamilton parents

299
00:12:57,094 --> 00:12:59,037
if they didn't take
this issue seriously.

300
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,126
We're gonna have to deal with it.

301
00:13:02,539 --> 00:13:04,140
Okay.

302
00:13:06,511 --> 00:13:09,822
Well, by "deal with it"
you mean you've got my back.

303
00:13:11,059 --> 00:13:12,063
Right, Dani?

304
00:13:12,065 --> 00:13:13,422
Of course.

305
00:13:13,641 --> 00:13:15,451
We're just going to
delay the announcement

306
00:13:15,453 --> 00:13:17,465
of your promotion a couple of weeks.

307
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,373
I see.

308
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:24,937
You know,

309
00:13:25,230 --> 00:13:26,314
Danielle,

310
00:13:26,695 --> 00:13:28,335
you have been dangling partner

311
00:13:28,337 --> 00:13:30,296
over my head for three years now,

312
00:13:30,298 --> 00:13:32,845
always just jerking it out
of reach at the last minute.

313
00:13:32,847 --> 00:13:35,443
But instead of complaining
... instead of complaining,

314
00:13:35,445 --> 00:13:38,175
I keep grinding, and I
nailed that Hamilton School...

315
00:13:38,177 --> 00:13:40,419
Dangling, jerking, grinding, nailing...

316
00:13:40,421 --> 00:13:43,863
I'm gonna stop you right there
before this turns into a porno.

317
00:13:45,484 --> 00:13:47,733
We're also sliding you off Hamilton

318
00:13:47,735 --> 00:13:49,381
and onto the PBJ project.

319
00:13:49,735 --> 00:13:51,270
What the fuck is PBJ?

320
00:13:51,804 --> 00:13:54,429
Overpriced clothing for
rug rats to vomit on.

321
00:13:54,858 --> 00:13:57,106
Wait, it might be one of
those granola grocery stores

322
00:13:57,108 --> 00:13:59,569
where you're never really sure
what they do or don't have.

323
00:13:59,571 --> 00:14:00,813
Thanks, Danielle.

324
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:02,864
So much for women helping women.

325
00:14:02,866 --> 00:14:04,195
I'm not a woman.

326
00:14:04,419 --> 00:14:05,618
I'm an architect.

327
00:14:06,216 --> 00:14:07,286
Are we good?

328
00:14:07,353 --> 00:14:08,372
We're great.

329
00:14:08,374 --> 00:14:09,694
We're amazing.

330
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,496
I'm really digging this new
look you got going on here.

331
00:14:17,563 --> 00:14:19,335
You're like that suburban
mom with five kids

332
00:14:19,337 --> 00:14:21,498
who just wakes up in the
morning, just like, "Fuck it."

333
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,144
Did you drive you minivan here?

334
00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:24,904
Is that a no?

335
00:14:25,361 --> 00:14:26,729
Are those slippers?

336
00:14:26,731 --> 00:14:29,146
Yep, they're indoor-outdoor, okay?

337
00:14:29,148 --> 00:14:30,427
I've been unemployed for like two days.

338
00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:32,020
Will you let me enjoy a few more

339
00:14:32,022 --> 00:14:35,196
without any belts or
zippers or shoelaces?

340
00:14:35,198 --> 00:14:36,582
Mm-hmm.

341
00:14:36,615 --> 00:14:39,454
That was quite the performance
you three put on at the Amaris'.

342
00:14:39,456 --> 00:14:40,920
- Oh, God.
- Oh, yeah.

343
00:14:40,986 --> 00:14:42,359
What?

344
00:14:42,398 --> 00:14:44,189
No, it's nothing. It's all good.

345
00:14:44,588 --> 00:14:46,323
Oh, really? It's all good, is it?

346
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:47,919
- Mm-hmm.
- Please.

347
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,696
You guys were like a
slow-motion train wreck

348
00:14:49,698 --> 00:14:51,096
I couldn't seem to look away from.

349
00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:52,826
Like, when did you and
Emma actually decide to make

350
00:14:52,827 --> 00:14:54,554
that fucked-up decision?
'Cause last I remember,

351
00:14:54,555 --> 00:14:56,213
- you ended it.
- Hey.

352
00:14:56,215 --> 00:14:57,436
You want to know what I think?

353
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:59,563
No. Absolutely not.

354
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,191
There's literally no part of me

355
00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:02,435
that wants to hear what you think.

356
00:15:02,436 --> 00:15:03,929
I think it's entirely possible

357
00:15:04,308 --> 00:15:07,104
that you just introduced your
first wife to her first wife.

358
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,624
Okay, you know what?

359
00:15:09,626 --> 00:15:11,316
This... this has
happened our whole lives.

360
00:15:11,318 --> 00:15:13,116
The more you talk, the
less sense you make.

361
00:15:13,118 --> 00:15:14,753
I'm just gonna get up, walk away

362
00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,003
before you start yelling
out random word combinations.

363
00:15:17,005 --> 00:15:18,557
Blender, vagina, fullback.

364
00:15:18,624 --> 00:15:20,750
Yoga, pistachio. Buttplug.

365
00:15:21,271 --> 00:15:22,547
Fucking unbelievable.

366
00:15:22,549 --> 00:15:24,058
- I don't want to know.
- Hey.

367
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,152
I'm gonna quit my job.

368
00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:27,125
You know, maybe... maybe not today,

369
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,902
maybe not tomorrow,
but real God damn soon.

370
00:15:31,182 --> 00:15:33,348
That's awesome. That'd be great.

371
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:34,686
You know, unemployed polygamists?

372
00:15:34,764 --> 00:15:36,517
Oh, yeah. You should
just shave your heads

373
00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,324
and get, like, crazy
tribal face tattoos.

374
00:15:38,326 --> 00:15:40,045
You know, just fuck it, right, cuz?

375
00:15:40,112 --> 00:15:41,240
- What do you think?
- Yeah.

376
00:15:41,242 --> 00:15:42,227
Be good for you?

377
00:15:42,229 --> 00:15:44,629
Can we talk somewhere a
little more, you know, private?

378
00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:46,130
Sure, yeah, that's where I was going.

379
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:47,160
I'll leave you with this

380
00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:49,350
because it's suddenly
taken on greater relevance.

381
00:15:49,681 --> 00:15:50,872
I got a connection at Griffin College,

382
00:15:50,873 --> 00:15:52,657
and it seems they're expanding
their psych department.

383
00:15:52,658 --> 00:15:55,594
So I will get you a
meeting, little brother.

384
00:15:55,661 --> 00:15:57,596
Okay? Got some sauce right there.

385
00:15:57,598 --> 00:15:58,633
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.

386
00:15:58,635 --> 00:15:59,665
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

387
00:15:59,732 --> 00:16:01,266
That's a good one.

388
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:02,873
Did I hear you say that you were...

389
00:16:02,875 --> 00:16:04,913
I hate my boss, and
I want to quit my job.

390
00:16:04,915 --> 00:16:05,994
Yeah.

391
00:16:29,261 --> 00:16:30,796
Hello.

392
00:16:30,798 --> 00:16:32,499
Hello.

393
00:16:46,684 --> 00:16:48,447
You're such a gaping asshole.

394
00:16:48,514 --> 00:16:50,512
You're a walking tourist attraction.

395
00:16:50,514 --> 00:16:52,584
The world's largest asshole.

396
00:16:59,992 --> 00:17:01,660
So, what now?

397
00:17:02,091 --> 00:17:03,615
Duh... pizza.

398
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,509
How are you not obese?

399
00:17:05,997 --> 00:17:07,933
Uh, well, it's genetic.

400
00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:11,812
From the aliens that
my ancestors mated with

401
00:17:11,814 --> 00:17:12,947
thousands of years ago.

402
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,673
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

403
00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:17,782
Just to make sure... you do
remember that I quit my job, right?

404
00:17:17,784 --> 00:17:20,027
Well, that firm has been ass-fucking me

405
00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:21,136
for three years now.

406
00:17:21,138 --> 00:17:22,632
- Wow.
- Sorry.

407
00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:24,761
Not literally. That would be horrible.

408
00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:25,964
Not to mention actionable.

409
00:17:26,669 --> 00:17:28,220
Is "ass-fucking" an industry term

410
00:17:28,222 --> 00:17:29,384
for "made you partner"?

411
00:17:29,705 --> 00:17:31,087
Yeah, well, that's

412
00:17:31,549 --> 00:17:33,243
kinda, sorta been retracted.

413
00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:35,627
What? Seriously?

414
00:17:35,629 --> 00:17:36,962
I'm so sorry.

415
00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:40,432
You know how long I've
wanted to start my own firm?

416
00:17:41,271 --> 00:17:42,864
Honestly, I don't remember
you ever saying that before.

417
00:17:42,865 --> 00:17:45,067
Yeah, I mean, Dani's...
Dani's trying to shove me out,

418
00:17:45,069 --> 00:17:46,705
so maybe I turn this into a leap.

419
00:17:46,707 --> 00:17:48,774
You know? A... A leap into my bliss.

420
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:49,815
A bliss leap.

421
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,876
I'm gonna make this into a bliss leap.

422
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:53,425
Wait, are you high right now?

423
00:17:53,427 --> 00:17:54,882
No, I... I don't know what I am.

424
00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:57,714
I... I just, like... I just...

425
00:17:57,716 --> 00:17:58,825
Listen.

426
00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:01,120
Take it easy, okay?

427
00:18:01,186 --> 00:18:03,455
- Kiss me like we're...
- Jack.

428
00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,657
You don't need to do that.

429
00:18:05,724 --> 00:18:08,127
Just tell me it's all gonna be okay.

430
00:18:08,193 --> 00:18:09,215
It's gonna be okay.

431
00:18:09,270 --> 00:18:11,706
We're gonna be okay. I promise.

432
00:18:11,708 --> 00:18:13,577
- We are, right?
- Yeah.

433
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,665
So, I got a job at Shaun's bar.

434
00:18:21,094 --> 00:18:23,111
That's why I wasn't in class.

435
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,004
So you dropped out of
college to pursue mixology?

436
00:18:26,211 --> 00:18:28,142
Respect. Good call.

437
00:18:28,144 --> 00:18:30,559
I switched my class, smartass.

438
00:18:30,561 --> 00:18:33,069
- Mm.
- But the point is...

439
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:36,301
I got a real job.

440
00:18:36,819 --> 00:18:38,944
So you quit escorting.

441
00:18:40,399 --> 00:18:41,658
For Andy.

442
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,662
Whoa, Nellie.

443
00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:46,490
Just, you know, pump
your brakes, Speed Racer.

444
00:18:46,719 --> 00:18:48,544
Mnh-mnh, no.

445
00:18:49,218 --> 00:18:51,821
So you're seriously falling for him?

446
00:18:52,104 --> 00:18:53,305
I'm scared shitless.

447
00:18:53,372 --> 00:18:54,413
I can't sleep.

448
00:18:54,415 --> 00:18:55,917
I'm...

449
00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:58,514
Do you really think
that I'm rebound girl?

450
00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,057
Well, that's...

451
00:19:00,984 --> 00:19:02,441
Okay... I mean...

452
00:19:03,311 --> 00:19:06,459
define "rebound,"
because in basketball...

453
00:19:06,461 --> 00:19:08,029
- Oh, God.
- Okay.

454
00:19:08,031 --> 00:19:10,090
Nin, I just don't want you to get hurt.

455
00:19:10,522 --> 00:19:13,822
I just broke up with him
like five minutes ago.

456
00:19:14,034 --> 00:19:15,607
So maybe it's love, but honest...

457
00:19:15,609 --> 00:19:16,554
No, okay, I know.

458
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:17,740
It's like, um,

459
00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:21,096
eight years of suppressed
Valentine's Days,

460
00:19:21,098 --> 00:19:22,866
all the 1980s Rom-coms,

461
00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:25,691
and every fucking Jane
Austen novel collided

462
00:19:25,693 --> 00:19:27,206
and became a super ovary.

463
00:19:32,180 --> 00:19:33,181
Listen to me,

464
00:19:33,183 --> 00:19:35,868
'cause I need to be
very super fucking clear.

465
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,806
Do not say the "L" word to him.

466
00:19:39,028 --> 00:19:40,259
- Okay.
- Not yet.

467
00:19:40,327 --> 00:19:42,233
- Not yet.
- I can do that.

468
00:19:42,674 --> 00:19:44,831
I mean, not do that.

469
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,069
- Okay.
- Okay.

470
00:19:46,256 --> 00:19:48,225
Do you even want to
be a college professor?

471
00:19:48,852 --> 00:19:49,877
I don't know, to be honest.

472
00:19:49,878 --> 00:19:50,934
I hadn't really thought about it.

473
00:19:50,935 --> 00:19:52,763
I mean, 'cause I don't want
to push you into anything.

474
00:19:52,764 --> 00:19:53,871
Pbht.

475
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,251
What's that supposed to mean?

476
00:19:55,271 --> 00:19:57,109
- Pbht?
- Oh, it's just...

477
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,296
- Carmen and Dave.
- Yeah.

478
00:20:04,510 --> 00:20:06,197
Apparently, they want
to go on a double date

479
00:20:06,198 --> 00:20:07,575
with me, you, and Izzy.

480
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,877
Seems like they're making an effort

481
00:20:09,879 --> 00:20:11,857
not to find us
self-destructive and moronic.

482
00:20:11,859 --> 00:20:13,577
I mean, that... that's something.

483
00:20:13,578 --> 00:20:14,970
Yeah, here's to something.

484
00:20:14,972 --> 00:20:16,732
Here's to something.

485
00:20:17,389 --> 00:20:19,772
Apparently, I have an
interview at Griffin tomorrow.

486
00:20:21,592 --> 00:20:22,728
Hey.

487
00:20:22,730 --> 00:20:24,385
I mean, how bad can that be, right?

488
00:20:24,387 --> 00:20:26,834
It's not like you're working
the late-night drive-through

489
00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:28,453
- at Taco Bell or anything.
- Mm-hmm.

490
00:20:28,746 --> 00:20:30,181
I mean, if... if you want to,

491
00:20:30,183 --> 00:20:31,657
'cause, you know, I don't
want to push you into anything.

492
00:20:31,658 --> 00:20:32,552
- No.
- No.

493
00:20:32,554 --> 00:20:33,589
- Please don't.
- I would not.

494
00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:35,593
I'll just push you in
this doorway right here.

495
00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:42,875
Oh, it's Emma.

496
00:20:43,615 --> 00:20:44,894
Just take it.

497
00:20:44,896 --> 00:20:46,856
I'd hate for you to get
in trouble with the wifey.

498
00:20:48,499 --> 00:20:49,821
Hi, monkey.

499
00:20:49,888 --> 00:20:52,010
Hello.

500
00:20:52,891 --> 00:20:54,359
Oh. Oh, hey.

501
00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:56,161
'Sup?

502
00:20:57,730 --> 00:21:00,087
No, it's just, uh...

503
00:21:00,475 --> 00:21:02,380
It's surprising.

504
00:21:03,543 --> 00:21:05,211
Stop that immediately.

505
00:21:05,213 --> 00:21:06,814
Where do they want to go?

506
00:21:07,778 --> 00:21:10,086
No, that's... I'm in.

507
00:21:11,510 --> 00:21:13,297
Nope, it's all good. Bye.

508
00:21:13,511 --> 00:21:15,386
Andrew.

509
00:21:15,395 --> 00:21:17,286
- Isabelle.
- Okay, this is still weird.

510
00:21:17,288 --> 00:21:19,450
Well, doesn't help when you
braid tongues in front of me.

511
00:21:19,451 --> 00:21:21,453
I got to skedaddle anyway.

512
00:21:21,896 --> 00:21:24,051
Emma and Jack are picking me up.

513
00:21:24,053 --> 00:21:25,450
- Aww.
- Aww.

514
00:21:25,676 --> 00:21:28,602
For a double date with Carmen and Dave.

515
00:21:28,604 --> 00:21:29,623
Oh.

516
00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:32,690
Amaris have chosen the
venue... China Girl.

517
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:33,686
China Girl?

518
00:21:33,688 --> 00:21:35,354
Oh, my God, they did that for you.

519
00:21:35,356 --> 00:21:37,536
They want you to think that
they're, you know, cool.

520
00:21:37,538 --> 00:21:38,565
It's pretty cute.

521
00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:39,737
- Yeah.
- Okay, wait.

522
00:21:39,739 --> 00:21:41,271
You have to promise me
that you're gonna get video

523
00:21:41,272 --> 00:21:42,709
of the 30-somethings dancing.

524
00:21:46,545 --> 00:21:48,983
You're a horrible person,
but of course I will.

525
00:21:49,815 --> 00:21:51,140
Bye, Boo.

526
00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:30,488
You chose this place?

527
00:22:30,806 --> 00:22:32,340
Not me, this one.

528
00:22:32,342 --> 00:22:35,279
I Googled "coolest Portland dance club."

529
00:22:35,329 --> 00:22:37,380
You sure you didn't accidently type in

530
00:22:37,382 --> 00:22:40,452
"greatest concentration
of assholes in one place"?

531
00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:43,228
I might quit my job
and start my own firm.

532
00:22:43,499 --> 00:22:46,026
- That's fucking awesome.
- I know. Can you believe it?

533
00:22:46,028 --> 00:22:48,057
- Yeah.
- Is it raining in here?

534
00:22:48,059 --> 00:22:49,434
I keep feeling these drops of...

535
00:22:49,436 --> 00:22:50,930
I think it's sweat, babe.

536
00:22:50,932 --> 00:22:52,237
Oh, God.

537
00:22:52,316 --> 00:22:55,052
Em, I just took a
giant shit in my pants.

538
00:22:55,054 --> 00:22:57,904
I know, right? This place is amazing!

539
00:22:57,940 --> 00:22:59,542
We can say anything.

540
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:02,280
Okay, guys, dance time.

541
00:23:02,616 --> 00:23:04,250
- Dave?
- Oh.

542
00:23:04,252 --> 00:23:05,754
Uh, I'm okay.

543
00:23:05,756 --> 00:23:07,620
I... I'm just gonna do
like a little shoulder thing

544
00:23:07,621 --> 00:23:09,401
here in the dark if that's okay.

545
00:23:09,403 --> 00:23:11,049
Emma, don't do it. Remember last time?

546
00:23:11,051 --> 00:23:13,549
Yeah, but I'm so much drunker this time.

547
00:23:14,281 --> 00:23:16,491
Stranger sweat in my eye.

548
00:23:16,493 --> 00:23:18,282
- Honey...
- Stranger sweat in my fucking eye.

549
00:23:18,283 --> 00:23:20,027
Okay, okay. All right, don't... careful.

550
00:23:20,029 --> 00:23:21,670
Don't touch anything in there!

551
00:23:21,672 --> 00:23:23,320
- ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪
- Jack.

552
00:23:24,109 --> 00:23:25,449
Come on, Jack.

553
00:23:25,598 --> 00:23:27,867
♪ For free ♪

554
00:23:28,647 --> 00:23:31,328
♪ Givin' it up for free ♪

555
00:23:33,118 --> 00:23:35,569
♪ For free ♪

556
00:23:36,326 --> 00:23:38,262
♪ Givin' it up for free ♪

557
00:23:38,264 --> 00:23:41,801
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

558
00:23:41,803 --> 00:23:45,940
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

559
00:23:45,942 --> 00:23:49,546
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

560
00:23:49,548 --> 00:23:52,285
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
- Come on.

561
00:23:56,760 --> 00:24:00,764
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

562
00:24:00,766 --> 00:24:04,503
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

563
00:24:04,505 --> 00:24:05,973
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

564
00:24:06,428 --> 00:24:08,230
♪ Givin' it up for free ♪

565
00:24:15,163 --> 00:24:16,208
Whoa.

566
00:24:16,210 --> 00:24:18,146
That's, uh... that's romantic.

567
00:24:18,704 --> 00:24:20,356
We tried. Fuck this hell hole.

568
00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:21,665
Oh, there's my girl.

569
00:24:21,667 --> 00:24:23,904
What were in there
for? Four or five hours?

570
00:24:24,392 --> 00:24:26,999
It was, uh, 27 minutes.

571
00:24:27,195 --> 00:24:29,529
- Did we ever go to places like this?
- I don't know.

572
00:24:29,531 --> 00:24:31,140
I have a vague recollection,
but I can't tell

573
00:24:31,141 --> 00:24:33,356
if it was a fever dream
or a horror movie we saw.

574
00:24:33,358 --> 00:24:35,241
Think they even noticed that we left?

575
00:24:35,309 --> 00:24:38,061
Oh, is this about the
thing I said about the bike?

576
00:24:38,063 --> 00:24:39,222
What bike?

577
00:24:39,224 --> 00:24:40,851
You know, the one that Emma remembered

578
00:24:40,853 --> 00:24:42,697
how to ride really fast.

579
00:24:42,699 --> 00:24:43,800
Hold on.

580
00:24:44,552 --> 00:24:47,130
Are you saying y... you
don't think Emma's bi?

581
00:24:47,132 --> 00:24:49,279
You think she's just, like, gay?

582
00:24:49,281 --> 00:24:50,964
I don't know what I think, Carmen, okay?

583
00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:52,665
It's a lot for me to process,

584
00:24:52,667 --> 00:24:54,789
a lot of new information
coming at me about my wife.

585
00:24:55,267 --> 00:24:56,426
It feels like just yesterday,

586
00:24:56,427 --> 00:24:58,495
I found out she even kissed a girl.

587
00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,087
Pretty much was yesterday.

588
00:25:07,753 --> 00:25:10,151
Uh... Well, look at that.

589
00:25:10,153 --> 00:25:12,395
- Yeah, I had no idea.
- It's, uh, time for us to be

590
00:25:12,397 --> 00:25:14,941
- anywhere else in the known universe.
- It's... Mm-hmm.

591
00:25:14,943 --> 00:25:15,938
The sitter... we only had her

592
00:25:15,940 --> 00:25:17,500
for like 45 minutes tonight.

593
00:25:17,502 --> 00:25:19,571
Okay. Okay.

594
00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:22,561
You guys got to talk.

595
00:25:23,629 --> 00:25:24,919
You know? I mean, all three of you.

596
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,990
Don't just let it
gurgle around in there.

597
00:25:29,333 --> 00:25:30,297
Yeah, you're right.

598
00:25:30,299 --> 00:25:32,358
Okay. You're right.

599
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:33,376
Okay.

600
00:25:33,705 --> 00:25:36,455
- Come on, let's go.
- Okay.

601
00:26:14,526 --> 00:26:15,725
Water.

602
00:26:16,514 --> 00:26:18,772
Dear God, why isn't there water?

603
00:26:20,516 --> 00:26:21,898
Maybe there was water,

604
00:26:22,084 --> 00:26:23,783
and karma took it away from you.

605
00:26:23,785 --> 00:26:24,831
Huh?

606
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,506
What's that supposed to mean?

607
00:26:27,460 --> 00:26:28,861
Are you mad?

608
00:26:29,358 --> 00:26:30,826
Mad?

609
00:26:30,874 --> 00:26:32,005
Why would I be mad?

610
00:26:32,303 --> 00:26:34,656
Who doesn't love a
spirited public cuckolding?

611
00:26:34,772 --> 00:26:36,307
Seriously?

612
00:26:36,902 --> 00:26:39,571
We asked you to join us.

613
00:26:40,061 --> 00:26:41,439
Right?

614
00:26:45,102 --> 00:26:47,690
Okay, on your side here, Snuffles.

615
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:49,628
Mm.

616
00:26:50,183 --> 00:26:53,126
We just paid three 20-buck covers

617
00:26:53,128 --> 00:26:55,250
to share the ninth circle of hell

618
00:26:55,252 --> 00:26:58,020
with a bunch of sweaty,
annoying hipsters.

619
00:26:58,307 --> 00:27:00,465
Now this one is laying between us

620
00:27:00,467 --> 00:27:02,965
snoring like an obese octogenarian.

621
00:27:03,464 --> 00:27:05,482
Am I the only one questioning
our life choices right now?

622
00:27:05,483 --> 00:27:06,722
Okay, I hear you.

623
00:27:07,114 --> 00:27:08,606
But there is a small war

624
00:27:08,608 --> 00:27:10,353
going on inside my head right now.

625
00:27:10,957 --> 00:27:13,297
Can we possibly do this in the morning?

626
00:27:13,902 --> 00:27:15,455
Sure, why not?

627
00:27:15,457 --> 00:27:16,858
I love you.

628
00:27:17,342 --> 00:27:19,332
I'm sorry for being insensitive.

629
00:27:19,748 --> 00:27:22,605
Vodka got up in me before
knew what was happening.

630
00:27:23,487 --> 00:27:24,735
Okay.

631
00:27:26,617 --> 00:27:28,085
I love you.

632
00:27:28,230 --> 00:27:30,097
You already said that.

633
00:27:31,157 --> 00:27:34,120
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.

634
00:27:39,216 --> 00:27:41,399
Jack.

635
00:27:41,401 --> 00:27:43,366
You have to say it back.

636
00:27:45,450 --> 00:27:46,890
I love you more.

637
00:28:15,466 --> 00:28:20,466
Synced by peritta - corrected by chamallow
www.addic7ed.com