1 00:01:12,458 --> 00:01:16,583 Listen up, people. Listen. 2 00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:20,708 Like a sinner, like a crawling animal ... 3 00:01:20,833 --> 00:01:24,291 ... like a boar that has trampled sacred things ... 4 00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:29,500 Let me tell you how I endured the dark gospel ... 5 00:01:29,625 --> 00:01:32,791 ... and how I can still breathe while the mucus ... 6 00:01:32,916 --> 00:01:36,375 ... to my broken leper lips rising ... 7 00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:39,958 ... and pornography, the threat and the violence ... 8 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,458 ... rise to my braised throat. 9 00:01:46,083 --> 00:01:47,666 ... while I'm not from it. 10 00:01:47,791 --> 00:01:52,916 And through which I can swim in hell, without drowning in the bile. 11 00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:55,500 I'll tell you. By love. 12 00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:59,000 By love, you beautiful people. Love. 13 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:43,083 Love is not a fleeting encounter with a immoral angel. 14 00:02:43,958 --> 00:02:48,583 What I am talking about when I am talk about love, is the kingdom ... 15 00:02:48,708 --> 00:02:52,416 ... the land of cooling water and where there is much love. 16 00:02:52,541 --> 00:02:56,208 It is a place that really exists. 17 00:03:01,416 --> 00:03:05,583 If that wasn't there, why tell the Lord of balance then ... 18 00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:10,125 ... that he has a place for you and will prepare for me ... 19 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:12,333 ... and that he will return? 20 00:03:13,375 --> 00:03:15,083 Because there he is. 21 00:03:22,583 --> 00:03:26,791 You always became a girl since. 22 00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:29,000 People often commented on it. 23 00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:33,666 You just went to high school. 24 00:03:35,625 --> 00:03:38,916 That was very expensive. I remember that. 25 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:46,333 A new uniform, a suitcase, pens, a compass set, pencils ... 26 00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:57,750 It took me a week to get it out. 27 00:03:59,708 --> 00:04:01,708 You loved those shoes. 28 00:04:02,583 --> 00:04:08,083 Written with 'George Best' on the sole. You didn't want to wear anything else. 29 00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:15,291 George Best and Julie Beech. 30 00:04:16,208 --> 00:04:19,750 In that time you were only interested in them. 31 00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:28,458 She wrote my name with a pen on her jeans. 32 00:04:37,708 --> 00:04:40,500 She now lives in South Africa. 33 00:04:41,375 --> 00:04:43,916 She's doing well. 34 00:05:00,916 --> 00:05:03,958 Leave that damned. 35 00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:05,708 It is a slice. 36 00:05:10,583 --> 00:05:13,666 We demolished things, we get hurt, we don't complain. 37 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:20,500 Emma. A real woman. 38 00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,333 She is a real woman. 39 00:05:24,250 --> 00:05:26,500 - Could you make me a steak? - Joe? 40 00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:29,083 I dont need anything. I have ten bags of chips on. 41 00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:31,583 And he has already eaten a Cow Pie. 42 00:05:41,291 --> 00:05:43,458 That's a forbidden fruit, boy. 43 00:05:45,791 --> 00:05:47,041 Forbidden. 44 00:05:54,041 --> 00:05:58,416 Do you already know my steak story? -What steak story? 45 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:06,875 Malky and I were in an Indian tent after a visit to a night club ... 46 00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:12,833 This lightweight slept in his tikka masala. 47 00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:15,041 He got no further than the starter. 48 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:18,291 I ordered what I always take: vindaloo, extra pedis. 49 00:06:18,416 --> 00:06:21,666 Malky has ordered a T-bean steak because that jerk does not eat anything else. 50 00:06:21,791 --> 00:06:24,250 The steak is coming and he just wants to take a bite if ... 51 00:06:24,375 --> 00:06:26,625 Boom. It is completely free. 52 00:06:26,750 --> 00:06:31,208 It is just like the wild west. There is a buzz party in the corner. 53 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:34,291 Real acorns. Firefighters who were not employed. 54 00:06:37,541 --> 00:06:39,291 Stupid drunk. 55 00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:41,958 They injured the immigrant waiters. 56 00:06:43,166 --> 00:06:47,083 Like in a slaughter room in a slaughterhouse. 57 00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:49,333 So I'm telling Malky ... I say, "Hey." 58 00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:51,375 He works away half a cow. I say: "Hey." 59 00:06:51,500 --> 00:06:54,166 We have to go there and help those poor ones ... 60 00:06:54,291 --> 00:06:56,083 ... otherwise there will still be deaths. " 61 00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:59,791 And Malky says like a true Christian with a heart of gold: 62 00:06:59,916 --> 00:07:01,916 "I have no service." 63 00:07:05,416 --> 00:07:09,875 Afterwards one of those bastards jumps up ... 64 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,750 ... and damn he runs over our table. 65 00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:17,791 He runs after a screaming waiter with a bread knife. 66 00:07:17,916 --> 00:07:20,000 And then he stands ... 67 00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:21,750 ... on Malky's steak. 68 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,583 I mean it. 69 00:07:24,625 --> 00:07:26,541 We tackled them, boy. 70 00:07:31,208 --> 00:07:36,750 Ah, when you talk about the devil. Now that you are there, dude. 71 00:07:45,208 --> 00:07:47,666 Please dear. -Thank you, Emma. 72 00:07:51,458 --> 00:07:54,375 I'll take a look at it, Billy. I was a nurse. 73 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,583 Come here. 74 00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:05,791 O my God, have you seen this? 75 00:08:05,916 --> 00:08:07,458 It is a slice. 76 00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:11,250 Did you injure yourself on the demolition site? Has he been treated for infections? 77 00:08:13,541 --> 00:08:16,791 No, he must go immediately to the emergency department. 78 00:08:16,916 --> 00:08:18,916 Can you drive him there, Joe? -What is it? 79 00:08:19,041 --> 00:08:22,541 No, I'm tired. I can't even have a conversation. 80 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:26,666 He may already have spread. 81 00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:32,041 Goddamnit. 82 00:08:33,416 --> 00:08:37,041 What do you mean? -The infection. 83 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:40,875 An infection can cost you your arm. -No, he has to go to the hospital, Malky. 84 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:44,375 The infection must not reach your heart. -My heart? 85 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,250 There is perhaps an alternative. 86 00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:50,208 It remains a gamble, but ... 87 00:08:53,541 --> 00:08:54,750 My mother? -Yes. 88 00:08:54,875 --> 00:08:58,375 She can give a kiss on it, Billy. Then you are fine again. 89 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:32,250 Are you goddamn blind or something? 90 00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,250 Hey, where did that make sense? 91 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:42,125 Nothing. 92 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,875 It didn't seem like it was nothing. 93 00:10:46,416 --> 00:10:48,041 I'm just tired. 94 00:10:51,541 --> 00:10:56,375 It's okay. Just go. Just go. It's okay. 95 00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:51,375 Can you get that black currant jam? grab me? 96 00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,333 That? -Yes thank you. 97 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,666 I want some cookies. 98 00:12:58,666 --> 00:13:01,750 Chocolate cookies. No, not that. 99 00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:03,125 Yes that one. 100 00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,333 And chips? Do you want chips? 101 00:13:19,958 --> 00:13:23,041 Are you blind or something? -Ho, what are you doing? 102 00:13:23,166 --> 00:13:25,791 Come, dude. It is retarded. 103 00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:29,958 Do you want some coffee? 104 00:13:42,791 --> 00:13:44,541 Do you want a candy, Mom? 105 00:13:46,375 --> 00:13:49,375 You like it the best. -No thanks. 106 00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:58,833 Are you mad at me? 107 00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:03,250 It looks like you're mad at me. 108 00:14:04,833 --> 00:14:08,208 Mom? -No, I'm not mad at you. 109 00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:12,708 What do you want me to say? 110 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:18,791 Those bastards didn't look out. -Do you not want to use that language? 111 00:14:18,916 --> 00:14:21,958 I'm sorry, okay? 112 00:14:24,791 --> 00:14:27,250 He almost knocked you over. I won't let that happen. 113 00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:30,416 But I didn't raise you like that. 114 00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,583 Do you want a cup of tea, Malcolm? 115 00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:27,875 You don't feel well. 116 00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:33,250 I can see it on your face. Your face is tense. 117 00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:34,708 I'm just tired. 118 00:16:35,791 --> 00:16:38,541 You don't have too much ... -Mam. 119 00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:42,000 You are my son. I feel it when something is wrong. 120 00:16:43,666 --> 00:16:45,541 Can't I just be tired? 121 00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:51,458 Is it hard work? Demolish churches? 122 00:16:54,208 --> 00:16:59,708 It's God's house. -Yes. Well, it's being demolished. 123 00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:04,250 You should go to confession. 124 00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:12,833 That new church is very beautiful. I've seen it. It is very beautiful. 125 00:17:17,791 --> 00:17:19,583 I have to go back to work. 126 00:17:31,541 --> 00:17:34,208 Are you Malky? I'm Paul. 127 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,375 The cross is mine. The foreman said you had to take it down. 128 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,916 Give me a minute. 129 00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:51,833 It is a beautiful building. I am always been fond of Saint Michael's. 130 00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:23,416 Shall I tackle it? 131 00:19:24,916 --> 00:19:26,166 Get out of the way. 132 00:19:41,708 --> 00:19:44,041 Hey, friend. Thank you very much. 133 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,791 I have a new place for it. 134 00:21:35,083 --> 00:21:41,416 I'm going to cum. Oh my God. 135 00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:06,458 When I was little, I went to church here. 136 00:22:06,583 --> 00:22:08,791 It is a pity. It was a beautiful place. 137 00:22:11,958 --> 00:22:14,666 It's just me a lot of stones and cement. 138 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:18,625 I did not see you. 139 00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:22,750 I came by last week. I knocked on the door. 140 00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:24,583 I thought I heard the TV on. 141 00:22:25,708 --> 00:22:27,041 I'm working, Em. 142 00:22:29,666 --> 00:22:31,208 Is it me? 143 00:22:33,541 --> 00:22:36,041 I have to go back to work. -You didn't come by. 144 00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:42,666 I thought that our relationship was not serious. 145 00:22:49,875 --> 00:22:51,333 Is it over now? 146 00:22:59,791 --> 00:23:04,500 You know, you always do this to me, Malky. You do it every time. 147 00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:20,875 It is my fault. 148 00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:25,625 It's not you. 149 00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:28,041 It is my fault. 150 00:24:40,625 --> 00:24:42,083 Whose girl are you? 151 00:24:46,708 --> 00:24:48,166 I'm your girl. 152 00:26:56,166 --> 00:26:58,375 Mom, what are you doing? 153 00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:02,458 My damn back almost breaks. 154 00:27:02,583 --> 00:27:05,291 That doesn't surprise me. Where do you want it? 155 00:27:05,416 --> 00:27:07,791 In addition to the other one. 156 00:27:09,791 --> 00:27:13,333 Why do you also wear heavy pots? I said that I will lift the heavy things. 157 00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:14,958 You can't do everything for me. 158 00:27:15,083 --> 00:27:19,083 I am independant. I have to to do something yourself. 159 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,458 How is your back? - He's slowing down, that's the way it is. 160 00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:28,916 And old, like me. I'll make some tea. 161 00:27:35,333 --> 00:27:39,250 One tea bag is enough for two cups. 162 00:27:53,625 --> 00:27:57,708 POPULAR PRIEST TURNS 30 YEARS BACK TO LOCAL PAROCHIE 163 00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:02,583 Hey, can you give me a ride? On the way to work? 164 00:30:05,041 --> 00:30:07,416 It's not on your route, is it? Do not you mind? 165 00:30:12,375 --> 00:30:13,750 Is something wrong? 166 00:30:14,708 --> 00:30:17,708 I'm fine. Okay? 167 00:30:19,083 --> 00:30:20,458 I'm just tired. 168 00:30:22,708 --> 00:30:24,416 Your cell phone rang. 169 00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:32,666 It's just Pete. He picks me up on the way to work. 170 00:30:32,791 --> 00:30:37,333 I didn't know I was sleeping with you. He comes by my house, so ... 171 00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:45,625 He picks you up and drops you off ... 172 00:30:49,125 --> 00:30:52,750 I'm just saying that it's nice of him. 173 00:30:55,500 --> 00:30:57,333 Did I do something wrong? 174 00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:02,083 I didn't do anything wrong, right? 175 00:31:08,875 --> 00:31:12,458 You know what, I don't need a lift. I will go walk. I need a fresh nose. 176 00:31:12,583 --> 00:31:14,625 What should I think about it? 177 00:31:15,750 --> 00:31:18,125 I'm going to the pub for you. Often you don't see me standing. 178 00:31:18,250 --> 00:31:20,625 That is not true. -Then I'll go there ... 179 00:31:20,750 --> 00:31:24,500 ... to surprise you because I thought that you would like that ... 180 00:31:24,625 --> 00:31:26,500 ... and then you get into the car with a guy. 181 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,708 He calls everyone baby. - He calls you damn sweetheart. 182 00:31:33,833 --> 00:31:38,750 Don't scold me. Is it me or am I missing something? 183 00:31:38,875 --> 00:31:41,041 Is it because I don't often have come by? 184 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:42,833 Have you had enough of me? 185 00:31:44,250 --> 00:31:46,541 I did not do anything. - If you don't want me, say so. 186 00:31:46,666 --> 00:31:50,375 Then say what I would have done. -If you want to leave, you can leave. 187 00:31:54,291 --> 00:31:55,625 I do not need you. 188 00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:59,333 Do you think I need you? 189 00:32:01,583 --> 00:32:04,958 I don't need you damn you. I do not need anyone. 190 00:32:19,125 --> 00:32:20,625 It looks like it's over. 191 00:32:23,625 --> 00:32:26,750 It is not out. You do what you always do. 192 00:32:26,875 --> 00:32:28,958 You get angry because you are scared. 193 00:32:29,083 --> 00:32:31,750 Anxious? What am I afraid of then? -I do not know. 194 00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:34,250 I do not know. You tell me. 195 00:32:34,375 --> 00:32:39,000 You always care and then blame me for it. 196 00:32:39,125 --> 00:32:42,916 I'm too old for these games, Malky. You're too old for that. 197 00:32:44,750 --> 00:32:48,583 I'm still there? -No you're not. 198 00:32:50,083 --> 00:32:51,458 You are not there. 199 00:32:52,500 --> 00:32:55,208 I mean, you look like yourself, but you are not yourself. 200 00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:01,875 You are a stranger to me. 201 00:33:04,250 --> 00:33:06,125 I'm just tired, okay? -Liar. 202 00:33:06,250 --> 00:33:08,833 God. You can't even be honest with me. 203 00:33:14,750 --> 00:33:16,208 You don't trust me. 204 00:33:19,291 --> 00:33:20,833 Do you trust me? 205 00:33:25,458 --> 00:33:27,041 You don't trust me. 206 00:33:34,166 --> 00:33:35,875 No, why would you too? 207 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,291 I mean, we only have four years a relationship. 208 00:33:39,416 --> 00:33:42,958 I take off my pants for you. I suck your dick for you. 209 00:33:43,083 --> 00:33:46,875 I fuck you in a dirty pub cellar if it suits you. 210 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:51,791 And why? Oh yeah. I know. Yes. Because it's not serious. 211 00:36:00,958 --> 00:36:02,625 Another glass, please, honey. 212 00:36:13,208 --> 00:36:17,166 By the way, I talked to your guy. I told him clearly ... 213 00:36:17,291 --> 00:36:20,583 ... that if he doesn't take care of you, I add you to my harem. 214 00:36:22,416 --> 00:36:25,000 I don't know what's wrong. - How do you think I feel? 215 00:36:25,125 --> 00:36:28,375 I introduced you to each other. - So it's your fault. 216 00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:41,291 Have I ever told you my steak story? -Only 100 times or so. 217 00:36:49,583 --> 00:36:53,125 Malky and I were in an Indian restaurant when it all started. 218 00:36:54,083 --> 00:36:55,625 I told you. 219 00:36:59,541 --> 00:37:01,333 ... to spill some blood. 220 00:37:02,666 --> 00:37:05,083 But he didn't want to do it. 221 00:37:05,208 --> 00:37:09,958 "I can't do it, Joe. My mother sits at home. My mom is home.' 222 00:37:10,083 --> 00:37:12,916 You know what he is like with his old mother. 223 00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:18,708 Malky and I beat everything that moved. 224 00:37:19,583 --> 00:37:22,541 Bodies fell to the ground and heads fell open. 225 00:37:23,458 --> 00:37:26,333 Everything turned red rather quickly. 226 00:37:28,625 --> 00:37:31,666 Then there were police officers at the door. 227 00:37:37,125 --> 00:37:39,166 And I stand there with a ... 228 00:37:42,416 --> 00:37:44,166 ... hammer in my hand. 229 00:37:46,791 --> 00:37:48,333 Blood is dripping from it. 230 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:59,208 I mean, I'm really crying because... 231 00:37:59,333 --> 00:38:02,458 ... I know what I did and can't believe I did it. 232 00:38:02,583 --> 00:38:05,833 And I say to Malky ... I beg him, I say: 233 00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:07,916 "I can't turn around, Malky. 234 00:38:08,875 --> 00:38:11,041 I can't serve a prison sentence. 235 00:38:11,166 --> 00:38:13,125 I have children at home. 236 00:38:19,250 --> 00:38:20,458 So... 237 00:38:21,541 --> 00:38:26,166 ... Malky takes the hammer and throws it through the doors. 238 00:38:27,125 --> 00:38:29,458 The agents are coming in and arrest him. 239 00:38:36,458 --> 00:38:38,375 He is brave. 240 00:38:39,958 --> 00:38:42,041 He said I had nothing to do with it. 241 00:38:47,166 --> 00:38:49,041 He took it all on himself. 242 00:38:52,791 --> 00:38:54,583 I know you know ... 243 00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:58,000 ... that he was in jail before you met. 244 00:38:59,875 --> 00:39:03,000 But you don't know that he was in jail for me. 245 00:39:09,166 --> 00:39:10,208 Come here. 246 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:26,875 'After all, we now look through it of a mirror in a mystery ... 247 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,291 ... but then we will see face to face. 248 00:39:30,416 --> 00:39:33,875 Now I know in part ... 249 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,500 ... but then I will know, as I am known myself. 250 00:39:38,625 --> 00:39:44,291 And now faith, hope and love remain. " 251 00:42:21,750 --> 00:42:23,458 Is it at work? 252 00:42:25,333 --> 00:42:30,708 There is hard work today to find. Do your best in this position. 253 00:42:30,833 --> 00:42:32,541 It's not working, mom. 254 00:42:38,583 --> 00:42:40,208 You ... 255 00:42:40,333 --> 00:42:44,041 The police won't stop by again, boy? 256 00:42:44,916 --> 00:42:46,541 I couldn't handle it. 257 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,041 I'm tonight went to that church of yours. 258 00:42:54,291 --> 00:42:55,916 The new. 259 00:42:59,166 --> 00:43:03,375 You probably want to put your hammer in there, or not? 260 00:43:04,958 --> 00:43:08,666 There are many churches. You cannot demolish them all. 261 00:43:16,708 --> 00:43:18,500 He's not a good person, mom. 262 00:43:24,375 --> 00:43:27,916 He was always nice to us. 263 00:43:30,250 --> 00:43:36,458 He has a family, you know that? He has nephews and nieces. 264 00:43:36,583 --> 00:43:38,833 He doesn't deserve this. 265 00:43:42,916 --> 00:43:45,458 See you. You should see your face. 266 00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:50,916 You are ice cold. You judge people. That's wrong with you. 267 00:43:51,041 --> 00:43:52,958 Judging is a sin. 268 00:43:56,916 --> 00:44:01,250 That's the bad behavior so you ended up in jail ... 269 00:44:01,375 --> 00:44:05,583 ... and you damn me for two years left alone. 270 00:44:05,708 --> 00:44:09,333 The neighbors gossiped behind my back. 271 00:44:09,458 --> 00:44:11,375 The shame ... 272 00:44:13,583 --> 00:44:14,958 Sorry. 273 00:44:18,583 --> 00:44:20,791 I don't know what has happened lately is wrong with you. 274 00:44:22,750 --> 00:44:25,541 You have no compassion. You think I can handle it. 275 00:44:25,666 --> 00:44:27,833 Well, I can't handle it. 276 00:44:27,958 --> 00:44:31,833 My nerves can't handle it. I can not handle it any longer. 277 00:45:37,416 --> 00:45:38,750 Are you okay? 278 00:45:39,958 --> 00:45:41,500 What do you want again? 279 00:45:45,458 --> 00:45:47,041 I do like a fire. 280 00:45:58,041 --> 00:46:00,750 I killed my own father when I was 16. 281 00:46:01,750 --> 00:46:05,541 I had to go from the age of seven sucking his cock. 282 00:46:07,083 --> 00:46:09,375 My father forced me to suck his cock. 283 00:46:10,541 --> 00:46:12,833 He said it was ok to enjoy it. 284 00:46:27,833 --> 00:46:30,250 I beheaded him with my mother's meat cleaver. 285 00:46:30,375 --> 00:46:32,083 I neatly chopped it off. 286 00:46:55,458 --> 00:46:58,166 Do you know how heavy a severed head is? 287 00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:02,375 I know all about anger. 288 00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:05,583 I have two years in a psychiatric ward. 289 00:47:05,708 --> 00:47:09,750 Seven years under the treatment of one prison psychiatrist and then I found God. 290 00:47:09,875 --> 00:47:11,833 That's not why I'm here. 291 00:47:13,416 --> 00:47:15,833 They tried everything with me, do you know. 292 00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:18,666 Psychoanalysis, therapy ... 293 00:47:24,375 --> 00:47:26,958 It was not enough. There was too much shame. 294 00:47:28,541 --> 00:47:32,250 I couldn't tell anyone, you know? Who can you tell? 295 00:47:33,625 --> 00:47:35,583 People judge, brother. 296 00:47:37,291 --> 00:47:38,750 You can't trust people. 297 00:47:39,708 --> 00:47:43,416 They even unconsciously judge. 298 00:47:47,416 --> 00:47:49,208 An old priest in prison ... 299 00:47:52,625 --> 00:47:54,125 ... gave me this one. 300 00:47:56,125 --> 00:47:58,166 "Tell him everything," he said. 301 00:47:59,041 --> 00:48:01,958 "All the dirty details, especially the gore details. 302 00:48:02,083 --> 00:48:05,458 The parts, the images, the memories. Throw it all out. 303 00:48:07,375 --> 00:48:09,416 Drive out the demons. " 304 00:48:24,166 --> 00:48:30,666 He won't judge you. 305 00:48:31,708 --> 00:48:33,916 He gives no sense of shame. 306 00:50:45,458 --> 00:50:47,125 I don't trust you, Em. 307 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:25,916 Are you ready for Hull? 308 00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:30,125 I don't feel like Hull. 309 00:51:32,791 --> 00:51:35,000 Hull? The next job. 310 00:51:36,166 --> 00:51:38,208 Apparently it is full of holes. 311 00:51:39,666 --> 00:51:43,000 I did a job there. That has to be have been ten years ago. 312 00:51:43,125 --> 00:51:45,291 What a bloody hole. 313 00:51:45,416 --> 00:51:47,958 It is damn rough. 314 00:51:48,083 --> 00:51:51,833 But it is two months of work. That has to be. 315 00:51:52,750 --> 00:51:55,083 That's what it's ultimately all about, brother. 316 00:52:04,666 --> 00:52:07,541 Do something different? What do you mean? 317 00:52:08,500 --> 00:52:10,708 You know, something else. 318 00:52:10,833 --> 00:52:12,875 Instead of demolishing things. 319 00:52:13,750 --> 00:52:15,500 I like to demolish things. 320 00:52:15,625 --> 00:52:17,625 I know that, but ... -I am good at it. 321 00:52:18,625 --> 00:52:20,416 You're damn good at it too. 322 00:52:22,041 --> 00:52:25,291 Nobody can demolish a building like you, dude. 323 00:52:25,416 --> 00:52:26,708 Besides... 324 00:52:27,708 --> 00:52:30,333 ... I can only handle it with wrecking balls and hammers. 325 00:52:41,625 --> 00:52:43,416 I always have a certain dream. 326 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,500 It is not really a dream, it's a nightmare. 327 00:52:51,333 --> 00:52:54,875 I appear at the next demolition, the next job ... 328 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,916 ... I am coming in my car with my hammer and my tools ... 329 00:53:00,041 --> 00:53:02,041 ... and it appears to be my mother's house. 330 00:53:03,750 --> 00:53:05,250 My mother's house. 331 00:53:09,583 --> 00:53:11,666 I talk to the foreman. I say: 332 00:53:14,166 --> 00:53:16,208 "That's my mother's house, damn it." 333 00:53:17,125 --> 00:53:18,458 He does... 334 00:53:19,791 --> 00:53:21,958 He doesn't care. 335 00:53:22,083 --> 00:53:25,166 He has the address of a building, goes there and breaks it. 336 00:53:25,291 --> 00:53:29,375 "It's a job, it's not personal. " I say no. 337 00:53:33,166 --> 00:53:37,125 It's damn very personal. It's my mother's damn house. 338 00:53:38,125 --> 00:53:41,166 It is my mother's house. " 339 00:53:43,250 --> 00:53:45,791 The crane swings the wrecking ball. 340 00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,458 My heart is pounding. 341 00:53:48,583 --> 00:53:51,333 The foreman walks away. 'Not my problem.' 342 00:53:51,458 --> 00:53:52,833 And I'm going crazy ... 343 00:53:52,958 --> 00:53:55,500 ... because I don't even know if my mother is still inside. 344 00:53:55,625 --> 00:53:58,833 I'm trying to call her, but the phone does not ring. 345 00:53:58,958 --> 00:54:02,000 I gesture to the crane driver, but he doesn't see me. 346 00:54:02,125 --> 00:54:04,708 I'm trying to tell someone to everyone: 347 00:54:13,583 --> 00:54:14,791 And what happens then? 348 00:54:15,791 --> 00:54:18,166 I wake up like the wrecking ball hit her roof. 349 00:54:18,291 --> 00:54:19,625 I can't save her. 350 00:54:53,833 --> 00:54:56,291 Malky, what the hell is going on, man? 351 00:55:11,541 --> 00:55:13,250 Malky, don't. No. 352 00:55:15,750 --> 00:55:18,416 Don't be stupid. Malky. 353 00:55:56,791 --> 00:55:59,250 What the hell are you doing here? 354 00:56:01,791 --> 00:56:05,041 Look at me. 355 00:56:55,041 --> 00:56:56,625 I don't trust you, Em. 356 00:57:01,541 --> 00:57:03,000 I do not trust you. 357 00:57:04,291 --> 00:57:06,333 I don't trust myself, Emma. 358 00:57:07,541 --> 00:57:09,541 I'm afraid to trust someone. 359 00:57:10,500 --> 00:57:12,750 I'm afraid not to trust anyone. 360 00:57:22,291 --> 00:57:24,583 ... I don't trust my own hands. 361 00:57:56,541 --> 00:58:00,791 The tendons are severely damaged and surgery must be performed immediately. 362 00:58:01,708 --> 00:58:05,541 Just attach it. -He needs surgery. 363 00:58:08,916 --> 00:58:13,416 Okay, I can't force you, but you will can then no longer use that hand. 364 00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:33,125 How are you, Mom? 365 00:58:34,625 --> 00:58:37,000 I can't come by tonight. I'm normal... 366 00:58:37,125 --> 00:58:39,708 No, I'm fine. I am alone... 367 00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:42,250 I'm busy, mom. 368 00:58:43,125 --> 00:58:44,958 With work and all that, you know? 369 00:58:48,208 --> 00:58:50,041 Shall I come by tomorrow? 370 00:58:52,958 --> 00:58:54,458 See you tomorrow. 371 01:00:27,666 --> 01:00:30,708 What do you think? Which one do you want? 372 01:00:31,583 --> 01:00:32,708 That. 373 01:00:36,208 --> 01:00:37,458 B-ten ... 374 01:01:57,708 --> 01:01:58,875 God? 375 01:02:00,916 --> 01:02:02,708 He didn't let you down 376 01:02:04,333 --> 01:02:06,583 You have abandoned yourself. 377 01:02:06,708 --> 01:02:10,833 Have you abandoned yourself? -What do you want from me? 378 01:02:17,833 --> 01:02:20,625 Why do you keep trying to attract my attention? 379 01:02:35,083 --> 01:02:36,791 I'll listen to you. 380 01:02:36,916 --> 01:02:39,166 Sometimes you have only need a listening ear. 381 01:02:41,041 --> 01:02:45,208 Why should I talk to you? I do not know you. I don't trust you. 382 01:02:46,291 --> 01:02:49,750 You don't know yourself. You don't trust yourself. 383 01:02:58,708 --> 01:03:03,291 I see God in you, Malky. You must be very brave now. 384 01:03:03,416 --> 01:03:06,458 Put your burden on the feet of Jesus Christ, brother. 385 01:03:47,333 --> 01:03:49,541 Do you know what I see in you, priest? 386 01:03:52,125 --> 01:03:53,625 I see a boy. 387 01:03:54,583 --> 01:03:59,041 I see a little boy with a large knife ... 388 01:03:59,166 --> 01:04:02,500 ... that still has the taste of a cock trying to get out of his throat. 389 01:04:05,166 --> 01:04:09,083 So what did you enjoy more, brother? 390 01:04:10,750 --> 01:04:15,458 Blow your dad or behead him with your mother's meat cleaver? 391 01:04:25,083 --> 01:04:28,916 You bastard. I'll break you, you bastard. 392 01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:43,291 Jesus. Sorry, brother. Forgive me, man. 393 01:05:02,750 --> 01:05:06,958 You cannot wear this cross yourself. I will help you to bear the burden. 394 01:05:07,083 --> 01:05:10,041 Please let me ease your burden. 395 01:05:23,958 --> 01:05:26,333 He didn't even know it was me, Em. 396 01:05:27,458 --> 01:05:31,375 I swear. He didn't know it was me. 397 01:05:33,333 --> 01:05:35,541 He was blinded by anger. 398 01:05:36,750 --> 01:05:40,875 It could have been anyone. But that wasn't true, right, Joe? 399 01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:44,666 No, it was you. You stood there. His best friend. 400 01:05:46,666 --> 01:05:50,250 Well, if this is the worst what happens to me this week is fine with me. 401 01:05:53,958 --> 01:05:55,916 I don't talk his behavior well. 402 01:05:59,208 --> 01:06:00,500 I am indebted to him. 403 01:06:02,916 --> 01:06:04,166 You know? 404 01:06:05,541 --> 01:06:07,125 I really owe him. 405 01:06:11,125 --> 01:06:13,291 Every time I go to him again ... 406 01:06:14,208 --> 01:06:17,375 Every time I go to his apartment or to work ... 407 01:06:18,291 --> 01:06:19,708 ... then I know. 408 01:06:19,833 --> 01:06:23,291 Before I arrive even before I leave ... 409 01:06:23,416 --> 01:06:26,208 ... I know that's the worst what can I do. 410 01:06:27,208 --> 01:06:29,833 It's the last thing I should do, but... 411 01:06:30,833 --> 01:06:32,333 And after that... 412 01:06:38,541 --> 01:06:42,500 And then I ask him again: 'Is it me? 413 01:06:42,625 --> 01:06:44,541 Did I do something wrong? " 414 01:06:45,958 --> 01:06:50,125 Come on, Em. - It's okay. 415 01:06:51,208 --> 01:06:55,125 Please don't feel sorry for me. Then I don't have it anymore. 416 01:07:51,333 --> 01:07:52,625 Mom? 417 01:09:17,291 --> 01:09:19,458 Do you remember when I was 12, Mom? 418 01:09:21,791 --> 01:09:23,041 Do you remember that? 419 01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:29,166 When I returned from the church? 420 01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:33,041 When I slept in church? 421 01:09:34,291 --> 01:09:35,583 When I... 422 01:09:37,708 --> 01:09:39,208 I was quiet. 423 01:09:42,666 --> 01:09:43,916 Quiet. 424 01:09:47,666 --> 01:09:49,375 You said I was quiet. 425 01:09:51,125 --> 01:09:53,166 I was silent for three days. 426 01:09:56,250 --> 01:09:57,708 Silent, damn it. 427 01:10:00,916 --> 01:10:02,583 I was lifeless. 428 01:10:05,958 --> 01:10:07,666 You said to me ... 429 01:10:09,958 --> 01:10:11,500 You provoked me. 430 01:10:14,458 --> 01:10:16,583 You teased me. 431 01:10:19,958 --> 01:10:23,041 "Talk to me, Malcolm. Tell me. 432 01:10:23,166 --> 01:10:27,416 You don't feel well. I can see it on your face. 433 01:10:27,541 --> 01:10:29,750 Your face is tense. 434 01:10:34,625 --> 01:10:36,875 What happened to you? 435 01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:40,750 You can tell me. I am your mother. 436 01:10:41,875 --> 01:10:43,541 You can trust me. " 437 01:10:56,125 --> 01:10:57,541 So I'll tell you. 438 01:10:59,875 --> 01:11:01,375 I trust you. 439 01:11:09,208 --> 01:11:11,125 I have to trust you. 440 01:11:15,333 --> 01:11:16,833 I suffer. 441 01:11:17,875 --> 01:11:20,500 And why should I not trust you? You are my mother. 442 01:11:23,375 --> 01:11:26,875 I have to tell someone. I suffer. 443 01:11:34,041 --> 01:11:36,125 Do you remember what you said to me, Mom? 444 01:11:38,166 --> 01:11:40,125 Do you remember what you said? 445 01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:48,083 ... and I was devastated. 446 01:11:49,208 --> 01:11:51,208 I cried and cried. 447 01:11:53,750 --> 01:11:55,291 And what did you say to me? 448 01:11:58,750 --> 01:12:02,583 "That didn't happen to you." 449 01:12:06,125 --> 01:12:07,875 That hurt, Mom. 450 01:12:10,875 --> 01:12:13,375 "That didn't happen to you." 451 01:12:14,250 --> 01:12:16,958 Your guilt is not my responsibility. 452 01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:21,250 Your shame is not my responsibility. 453 01:12:23,500 --> 01:12:26,625 I damn my own shame what I'm struggling with. 454 01:12:26,750 --> 01:12:30,166 I'm lying there while he touches me. 455 01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:35,875 I'm a goddamn 12 year old. 456 01:12:39,500 --> 01:12:45,166 How dare you, mom? How the hell do you dare? How dare you? 457 01:12:47,791 --> 01:12:51,291 I lay there crying and praying and in my head I begged ... 458 01:12:51,416 --> 01:12:56,708 ... and the only thing I thought is: my mother... 459 01:12:56,833 --> 01:13:00,125 My mother will be so mad at me. 460 01:13:02,500 --> 01:13:06,458 Tell me what to do. I promise I will everything will do what you say. I promise. 461 01:13:06,583 --> 01:13:09,375 I just want everything to be as it used to be. 462 01:13:10,416 --> 01:13:12,208 I will not disappoint you. 463 01:13:13,125 --> 01:13:15,875 I will not shame you. 464 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:17,583 I promise. 465 01:14:08,958 --> 01:14:11,500 ROMANS 12, 13 466 01:14:18,083 --> 01:14:20,375 IF THEN YOUR ENEMY HAVES HUNGER, GIVE HIM TO EAT 467 01:14:22,583 --> 01:14:25,875 FOR BY DOING THAT, YOU WILL FIERY COALS ON HIS HEAD 468 01:14:52,541 --> 01:14:54,958 I'll be that priest never forgotten in prison. 469 01:14:55,083 --> 01:14:57,416 The one who saved me. 470 01:14:57,541 --> 01:15:00,541 Everyone else had my ragged soul already specified. 471 01:15:02,333 --> 01:15:04,750 He offered me salvation. 472 01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:07,916 Absolution. But I had to make the effort myself. 473 01:15:08,916 --> 01:15:11,125 He gave me the tape recorder. 474 01:15:11,250 --> 01:15:14,625 "Tell him your secrets," he said. "Tell him everything. 475 01:15:14,750 --> 01:15:19,083 Cleaves every piece of wood, lift each stone ... 476 01:15:19,208 --> 01:15:21,416 ... and leave everything else to God. " 477 01:15:28,708 --> 01:15:32,500 'Don't you think you are this burden long enough with you? 478 01:15:32,625 --> 01:15:35,083 And it's not even your burden to wear. " 479 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:37,583 I said... I almost spit this out. 480 01:15:37,708 --> 01:15:41,625 "I don't want him to get away what he did to me. " 481 01:15:45,083 --> 01:15:48,458 That old priest laughed. He kept smiling. 482 01:15:48,583 --> 01:15:54,375 He said: "Aha. Well, Paul, I can really help you with this. 483 01:15:54,500 --> 01:15:57,291 I know something in this area what you don't know. 484 01:15:57,416 --> 01:16:01,708 No one escapes the master of balance. 485 01:16:05,583 --> 01:16:07,250 Not even in death. " 486 01:16:10,416 --> 01:16:12,416 I promise you, Malcolm ... 487 01:16:13,875 --> 01:16:17,583 I will make a solemn promise to you on this holy ground. 488 01:16:17,708 --> 01:16:22,916 The day will come that even his own skin will testify against him. 489 01:16:56,875 --> 01:16:58,791 I abuse myself. 490 01:17:04,916 --> 01:17:06,875 I hurt myself ... 491 01:17:08,500 --> 01:17:10,166 ...physical. 492 01:17:23,916 --> 01:17:26,541 I hurt myself sexually. 493 01:17:35,708 --> 01:17:37,916 I raped myself. 494 01:17:42,125 --> 01:17:45,500 I raped myself until I bleed. 495 01:18:05,250 --> 01:18:09,250 I dig and dig ... 496 01:18:11,791 --> 01:18:14,166 ... and try its roots in me to delete. 497 01:18:53,125 --> 01:18:55,458 Forgive me, father, because I have sinned. 498 01:19:00,791 --> 01:19:02,333 Twenty five years ... 499 01:19:03,625 --> 01:19:09,958 ... eleven months and three days ago that I have confessed for the last time. 500 01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:18,583 Twenty five years? What do you want to confess? 501 01:19:20,541 --> 01:19:22,458 Something I haven't done yet. 502 01:19:23,958 --> 01:19:27,041 Tell. - I have to hurt someone. 503 01:19:29,125 --> 01:19:31,833 I have to hurt a lot. 504 01:19:34,166 --> 01:19:35,416 Continue. 505 01:19:41,541 --> 01:19:44,250 I trusted a man 25 years ago. 506 01:19:47,416 --> 01:19:49,375 No, that is actually not true. 507 01:19:51,041 --> 01:19:52,541 I didn't trust him. 508 01:19:55,416 --> 01:19:57,000 I was 12 years old. 509 01:19:59,833 --> 01:20:01,833 It had nothing to do with confidence. 510 01:20:04,041 --> 01:20:05,791 I worshiped him. 511 01:20:16,583 --> 01:20:20,791 He said I had something other boys did did not have. He said I was special. 512 01:20:22,250 --> 01:20:24,041 Special. 513 01:20:31,875 --> 01:20:33,666 I was only 12. 514 01:20:35,375 --> 01:20:38,625 When I woke up the next day, I felt 100 years old. 515 01:20:42,791 --> 01:20:45,958 He said God would know if I would tell someone. 516 01:20:46,083 --> 01:20:48,291 That God would punish me. 517 01:20:53,166 --> 01:20:55,291 God didn't have to punish me. 518 01:20:56,833 --> 01:20:59,291 I punished myself ... 519 01:20:59,416 --> 01:21:05,208 ...every day. Every day for 25 years. 520 01:21:08,958 --> 01:21:10,750 What do you want? 521 01:21:11,791 --> 01:21:13,833 Revenge. 522 01:21:16,750 --> 01:21:19,625 I'm not sure whether you are in the right place here. 523 01:21:25,625 --> 01:21:28,166 I don't think I ... - He abused me. 524 01:21:35,958 --> 01:21:38,208 When he put his cock in me ... 525 01:21:39,916 --> 01:21:45,916 When he put his avid cock in me, he shortened my life. 526 01:21:47,375 --> 01:21:48,958 He is my enemy. 527 01:21:49,875 --> 01:21:54,083 He's damn my enemy. Go ... 528 01:21:55,208 --> 01:21:56,791 ...to sit. 529 01:21:58,625 --> 01:22:00,458 Sit down. 530 01:22:02,916 --> 01:22:04,708 Sit down, damn it. 531 01:22:33,916 --> 01:22:35,291 I was a boy. 532 01:22:37,208 --> 01:22:38,708 I was just a boy. 533 01:22:43,708 --> 01:22:45,458 Why are you here? 534 01:22:53,541 --> 01:22:55,541 Do you know Romans? 535 01:22:59,958 --> 01:23:01,708 Verse 12:20? 536 01:23:07,416 --> 01:23:10,875 Do you know Romans? -Yes. 537 01:23:11,000 --> 01:23:13,208 Well, you know why I'm here. 538 01:23:28,458 --> 01:23:32,541 He abused me when I was a boy, father. 539 01:23:58,666 --> 01:24:00,791 ... that I forgive him. 540 01:24:08,125 --> 01:24:09,916 I forgive him. 541 01:27:02,375 --> 01:27:04,166 A reading from ... 542 01:27:05,125 --> 01:27:06,791 ... the book of Paul ... 543 01:27:09,333 --> 01:27:12,375 ... and his letters to the Romans. 544 01:27:15,666 --> 01:27:17,666 Chapter 12. 545 01:27:19,833 --> 01:27:21,541 Verse 20. 546 01:27:25,083 --> 01:27:26,750 'Me... 547 01:27:27,791 --> 01:27:29,958 ... revenge is due. 548 01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:37,000 I will ... 549 01:27:38,000 --> 01:27:39,458 ... return ... 550 01:27:40,500 --> 01:27:42,458 ... says the Lord. 551 01:27:44,833 --> 01:27:46,208 If then... 552 01:27:47,083 --> 01:27:51,250 ... your enemy is hungry, feed him. 553 01:27:55,250 --> 01:27:57,041 When he is thirsty ... 554 01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:00,916 ... give him a drink ... 555 01:28:05,125 --> 01:28:07,416 ... because by doing that ... 556 01:28:09,833 --> 01:28:12,458 ... you will have fiery coals ... 557 01:28:14,666 --> 01:28:16,750 ... hope for his head. " 558 01:29:12,708 --> 01:29:18,041 Congratulations, dear Sophie