1 00:00:01,569 --> 00:00:04,305 [THUNDER] 2 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,176 [SLICING] 3 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,111 [WHOOSH] 4 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:13,714 [HEARTBEAT] 5 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,092 [HORN MUSIC TRANSITIONS INTO ROCK THEME] 6 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,638 [FIRE CRACKLING] 7 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:43,177 [PEN SCRATCHES] 8 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,350 [BIRD CALL] 9 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,122 [WOLF HOWL] 10 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,428 [METALLIC SQUEAK] 11 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,630 [FAINT SCREAMS] 12 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,504 [CROW CAWS] 13 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,535 [MUSIC ENDS] 14 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,276 [JAZZY BACKGROUND MUSIC] 15 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:01,389 [MUTTERING QUIETLY TO HIMSELF] Hey, Candice... 16 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,724 I'm... I'm Larry. 17 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:06,694 I go to this school, too. 18 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,196 No. 19 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,430 [CLEARING THROAT] 20 00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,199 Hey there, good looking. 21 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,300 Good looking... Good... 22 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,936 [SIGH] Is... Is Candice... 23 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,738 long for Candy? 24 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:20,541 Because, you look good enough to eat. 25 00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,544 Not that I'm... No... Not that I'm a cannibal... 26 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,179 ...or anything... 27 00:02:25,213 --> 00:02:27,681 [FEMALE VOICE: Really? That's it? 28 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:32,286 You know, Larry. This could be the dullest dream I've ever invaded. 29 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:33,487 Who are you? 30 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,523 Name's Rogers. 31 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:38,426 I'm your cousin. Well, actually, I was your cousin. 32 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,628 Didn't know I have a cousin... 33 00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:41,695 Had. 34 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:44,432 Had... A cousin... ...like you. 35 00:02:44,465 --> 00:02:48,302 You don't know much, Larry. That's why I'm here. 36 00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:50,471 How did you know I go to Hackshire High? 37 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,673 Oh, so that's what this is. 38 00:02:52,706 --> 00:02:55,243 You're still in high school. Great. 39 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,944 It's a private school. 40 00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,812 [LAUGHING] Yeah, really private I'd say. 41 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,449 Is that why there's nobody here? 42 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:02,616 It's spring break. 43 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,452 Most of the students already left, 44 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:07,355 But I'm here boarding with a few others who stayed behind. 45 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,990 Could we back up for a second? 46 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,526 No, I... I... 47 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,663 I mean, to where you said I had a cousin. 48 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,898 Are you... related to me, or...? 49 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,367 ...not? 50 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,602 Well I was, but I have some bad news. 51 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,271 Well, mostly bad news for me. 52 00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,538 Actually, I'm dead. 53 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,640 [OMINOUS MUSICAL BEAT] 54 00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:29,477 I'm... talking to a dead woman? 55 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,280 Tried not to die, I really did. 56 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,847 Kinda sucks. 57 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,649 [HARP MUSIC] 58 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:38,286 How are we having this conversation? 59 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,453 I'm in your mind, Larry. 60 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:40,954 I came to you in a dream. 61 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,357 This... This is all a dream. 62 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,925 I'm inside your head. 63 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,360 Wait... 64 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,795 What about Candice? 65 00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,730 She's real. She's Headmaster Hellion's niece. 66 00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:52,300 Is she as hot in real life as she is in your fantasy, 67 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,934 or are you just taking creative liberty? 68 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,403 LARRY: No. 69 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,871 She's pretty hot in general. 70 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:01,342 And you can't even go up and talk to her in your own dream? 71 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:04,278 That is really sad, Larry. 72 00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:06,347 Yeah, I'm not, uh... 73 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,616 ...exactly what you would call a ladies man. 74 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,885 No. You're what I'd call a warlock. 75 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,387 I'm sorry, what? 76 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,022 You're turning 18 tomorrow, Larry. 77 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,957 There are powers inside of you. 78 00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:19,059 Let's just call them "special abilities" 79 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,694 that have been dormant. 80 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:23,564 But come tomorrow, they will be quite apparent. 81 00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:26,667 Are you crazy, or...? 82 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,902 Dead. Not crazy. 83 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,505 I was a witch. I know about these things. 84 00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:33,974 My sudden death has activated your warlock status. 85 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,509 You'll be able to do things. 86 00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:37,611 Know things others don't. 87 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:40,548 It's a blessing and a curse. 88 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,717 Will I be able to talk to Candice? 89 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:44,752 [EXASPERATED SIGH] 90 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,521 You do not need special abilities to do that. 91 00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,423 [SIGH] 92 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,992 I can see this is not going to be an easy transition. 93 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:53,727 Listen, we do not have much time. 94 00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,629 You're going to get a present in the mail to help you, 95 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,865 And when you get control of your special skills, 96 00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,867 I'll be back to guide you. 97 00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,636 Is this some sort of joke? 98 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,839 A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" 99 00:05:05,873 --> 00:05:07,641 That's a joke. 100 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,842 Come on! 101 00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,411 Get with the program. 102 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,480 You can't stay young forever, Larry Pothead. 103 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,914 You've got to grow up. 104 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,916 Let me help you. 105 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:18,652 [POPPING SOUND] 106 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,655 What's this? 107 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,323 Candice's bikini. 108 00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,697 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 109 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:34,902 - Good morning! - Birthday boy! 110 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,405 LARRY: Hey guys... What's up? 111 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,740 We came to give you your present. 112 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,876 Thanks. Where is it? 113 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,578 You're wearing it. 114 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,880 [LAUGHING] 115 00:05:48,616 --> 00:05:52,052 [INDISTINCT MUTTERING] 116 00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,722 You know, guys really shouldn't wear makeup. 117 00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:58,626 Yeah... It wasn't by choice. 118 00:05:58,659 --> 00:06:00,394 Rogers' VOICE: There are powers inside of you... 119 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:03,664 Come tomorrow, they will be quite apparent. 120 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,567 Buck, do I look different to you at all? 121 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,536 Is that a trick question? 122 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,671 I mean, besides Tank and Simon's makeover. 123 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,706 Well, you're 18. 124 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:13,941 You can vote. 125 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,543 You're an adult now. 126 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,845 BUCK'S VOICE: Yeah, right. 127 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,613 "Yeah right," what? 128 00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,148 What? 129 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,883 Are you making fun of me too, now? 130 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,486 I didn't say anything. 131 00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:27,054 BUCK: How did he hear my thoughts? 132 00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:29,423 Don't be silly. I didn't hear your thoughts. 133 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,525 What? You just did it again. 134 00:06:31,559 --> 00:06:34,862 - Did what? - You heard what I was thinking! 135 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,030 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did. 136 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,198 No, I didn't. 137 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,968 - BUCK'S VOICE: Did too. - Did not! 138 00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,903 You just did again! 139 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,738 What? 140 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:47,107 I didn't actually say, "Did too." 141 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,409 I only thought it. 142 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,811 [SIGHS] 143 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,180 You're weird. 144 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,782 BUCK: You're reading my mind. 145 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:56,917 You're hearing my thoughts right now. 146 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,719 I can see it in your eyes. 147 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,889 How are you speaking without opening your mouth? 148 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,924 You're telepathic! 149 00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,459 No, I'm not. 150 00:07:05,493 --> 00:07:07,961 That was a dream, that's... None of that was real! 151 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,096 Yes! 152 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,230 Yes, you are. 153 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,665 No, I'm not. 154 00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,934 No, I'm not! 155 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:16,236 - This is total bull... - Candice! Language. 156 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,072 Total bull. Horns and all. 157 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,474 [DOORBELL RINGS] 158 00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,842 Why can't I go hang out with Nick 159 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,143 If you're just going to stick here all day? 160 00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,912 That's all I want! 161 00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,179 Because you're my niece... 162 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,781 Because Nick is no good for you, 163 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,783 and 19 year-old girls really don't know what they want. 164 00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,185 Fine! But if I can't go to him, he'll just come to me. 165 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,522 No! He is not allowed on this campus. 166 00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:35,956 I'm the headmaster here, remember? 167 00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,725 What I say goes. 168 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,126 Yeah, goes straight into the garbage. 169 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,961 [DOOR UNLATCHES, SQUEAKS OPEN] 170 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,996 [ELECTRONIC BEAT PLAYS THROUGH THE HOUSE] 171 00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,798 Oh, hello Headmaster Hellion. 172 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:45,999 What brings you here today? 173 00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,901 What's up, Candy? [LAUGH] 174 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,202 Don't talk to her. 175 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:51,939 I got a package here for a "Larry Pothead". 176 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,907 Pothead? Larry Pothead? 177 00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,008 Is he...? 178 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:57,545 Nah, his parents make pots and pans for a living. 179 00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,513 He's a nerd. 180 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:01,615 Okay, just... Make sure he gets this. 181 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,016 Alright. 182 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:05,218 So, when you boys take off for spring break? 183 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:08,221 - Plans fell through. - Wanna hang? 184 00:08:08,255 --> 00:08:10,157 Ladies do not "hang". 185 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,660 I'll be around. 186 00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,094 No, you most certainly will not. 187 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,796 That's not what you just said! 188 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,197 Well since when do you listen to me? 189 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,232 - CANDICE: Since never! - HEADMASTER HELLION: Exactly! 190 00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,536 [DOOR LATCHES SHUT] 191 00:08:22,570 --> 00:08:23,971 What do you think that is? 192 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,806 [RATTLING] 193 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,075 - What's up, guys? - SIMON: You tell us! 194 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:29,810 [LOUD RATTLING] 195 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,078 Let me guess. 196 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,714 - Mittens from Mommy? - A book on bird-watching. 197 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,551 - [QUIET, MAGICAL CHIME] - TANK: What is that? 198 00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:38,952 A magic wand? 199 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,754 What are you? A wizard? 200 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,125 Warlock. 201 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,226 [LAUGHING] 202 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,028 "A warlock." 203 00:08:52,633 --> 00:08:53,934 [DRIVING ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 204 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,135 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 205 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,812 What do you got there? 206 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,247 Some sort of joke that I don't find very funny. 207 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,750 You hear that, Rogers? I don't believe in magic. 208 00:09:09,783 --> 00:09:12,319 I don't believe in warlocks, And I don't believe in you! 209 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,821 - [SNAP] - [MAGICAL CHIME] 210 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:15,188 [SUPERNATURAL WHIRRING SOUND] 211 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,728 Larry! Larry! Is there anything I can do- 212 00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,095 - [WHOOSH] - [STRANGE STATIC] 213 00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:24,665 - [WHOOSH] - [IMPACT] 214 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,935 [MAGICAL RINGING] 215 00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,302 [MUSIC STOPS] 216 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:32,005 [GASP] What happened? 217 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,708 [SCOFFS] Nice work, Boy Blunder. 218 00:09:34,742 --> 00:09:37,778 That wand was sent to help you control your powers. 219 00:09:37,811 --> 00:09:40,113 Direct them. That's what a wand does. 220 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,382 Destroying it just put all those magical powers 221 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,317 inside you, and now you're overloaded. 222 00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,286 What does that mean? 223 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,321 Oh, you'll find out. 224 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,659 How can I be a warlock? 225 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:54,127 My parents were normal people. 226 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,729 Your foster parents were normal people. 227 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,865 Your real parents were quite special. 228 00:09:57,898 --> 00:09:59,700 Every now and then, it skips a generation, 229 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,202 But there always has to be one... gatekeeper, so to speak, 230 00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,871 in our community. 231 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,140 - "Gatekeeper." - Uh huh. 232 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,342 I was it, but I failed. 233 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,178 And, unfortunately, you're the only one left 234 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,814 to pass the torch to. It's not such a bad thing. 235 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,783 You can actually have quite a lot of fun 236 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,317 once you get control of your powers. 237 00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,986 Well, not that you're supposed to. 238 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,054 You gotta be responsible, but, 239 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:25,325 I was known to bend the rules, once or twice back in my day. 240 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,028 Was I really reading Buck's mind earlier? 241 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,262 Mmh hmm. 242 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,732 It's one of the abilities. 243 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,033 What are the others? 244 00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:35,335 Do I look like an instruction book to you? 245 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,905 Just don't point at anybody. 246 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,840 Why not? 247 00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,442 Now, when you give somebody the finger, 248 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,878 You'll really be giving someone the finger. 249 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:46,179 - [MAGICAL CHIME] - [WHOOSH] 250 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:47,948 [IMPACT] 251 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,349 Told ya. 252 00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,719 [MAGICAL RINGING] 253 00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:53,386 Buck! Buck! 254 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:55,856 I'm so sorry! Wake up! Speak to me! 255 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,826 [SPEAKING ROBOTICALLY] My name is Buck Perdue. 256 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,260 I'm 18 years old and I like to watch movies 257 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,229 and eat pizza. 258 00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:04,131 I go to Hackshire High school and hope to be 259 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,999 a plastic surgeon one day, because I love breasts. 260 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,401 Okay, okay. You can stop talking. 261 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:11,204 [SPEAKING NORMALLY] What... What did you do to me? 262 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:14,307 Nothing. What makes you think that? 263 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:16,844 Besides that? 264 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,413 And the whole mind-reading thing earlier? 265 00:11:22,449 --> 00:11:24,051 Okay. My hands can do things. 266 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,886 I don't know what and I don't know how to control it. 267 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,821 Hey, what are you losers up to? 268 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,790 Oh, look. He broke his little wand. 269 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:31,992 [LAUGHING] 270 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,861 Get out of here before I break yours too! 271 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,428 - [MAGICAL ZAP] - [GROANING IN PAIN] 272 00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:37,831 We... We were just leaving. 273 00:11:38,832 --> 00:11:40,433 That was awesome! 274 00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,376 So, you're like a warlock? 275 00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:52,512 I don't know what a real warlock even is. 276 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,481 I've only read about them in kid's books. 277 00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,582 But you have powers, 278 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:58,518 and you can point at things and make stuff happen. 279 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,054 I don't think it's that easy. 280 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:03,056 Just try it out. What do you have to lose? 281 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,191 Possibly everything. 282 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:07,160 But... You don't have anything. 283 00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:10,497 Okay, so, who do I try it out on, you? 284 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:13,767 LARRY: No. 285 00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:15,435 Come on, you owe me, and... 286 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:16,870 I know you like her. 287 00:12:16,904 --> 00:12:18,405 She hasn't done anything to us. 288 00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,774 She's been teasing and taunting us all semester. 289 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:24,044 Just point and give her one little test command. 290 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:27,280 Like what? Like, "Bend over?" 291 00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,216 Think bigger. 292 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,318 Striptease? 293 00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:34,287 I don't know about you, but I would love to see her... 294 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,389 [INAUDIBLE WHISPERS] 295 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,391 I'm pretty sure that's illegal. 296 00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,194 Only if someone is watching. 297 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,429 Isn't that what we'll be doing? 298 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,197 And it will be so great! 299 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,498 No. 300 00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:47,000 No, absolutely not. 301 00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,568 Yes. 302 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,437 No! It's not even going to work! 303 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,973 So then thinking about it won't do any harm! 304 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,279 [MAGICAL DRONE] 305 00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:00,948 BUCK: Is she? 306 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,249 LARRY: No way... 307 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,117 Maybe she is. 308 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,186 Come on. I gotta see. 309 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,128 [SIGHS] I mean, it kind of worked. 310 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,530 She is playing with herself, technically. 311 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:20,233 Very disappointing, okay? 312 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,568 Be more specific this time. 313 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,571 No! No, we're done. These hands are dangerous weapons. 314 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,274 - I don't want to hurt somebody! - But just this one time...? 315 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,842 No, everybody just needs to calm down! 316 00:13:28,876 --> 00:13:29,977 [MAGICAL DRONE] 317 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:32,846 [YAWNS] So tired! 318 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,948 [YAWN] Me, too. 319 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,517 No, you're right. 320 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:40,888 I'm... I'm sorry. 321 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,066 Oh my God. What did I do? 322 00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,834 Damn these hands! 323 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:56,937 Hey, kid. 324 00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:00,373 Do you know a "Candy"? I'm supposed to meet her here. 325 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:03,210 Uhhh... I think she's... resting. 326 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:06,146 NICK'S VOICE: She's going to need a rest when I get done with her. 327 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,349 That is disgusting. 328 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:12,085 What? I didn't say anything. 329 00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,620 Yeah, but you thought it. 330 00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,088 I think you need to cool down. 331 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,024 - [MAGICAL CHIME] - [WIND BLOWING] 332 00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,159 Okay. 333 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,065 [SPLASHING SOUND] 334 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,902 [WHISPERING] Rogers! 335 00:14:28,936 --> 00:14:30,470 Miss Rogers! 336 00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,373 How do I conjure up the dead? 337 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:34,975 Oh, don't do that. 338 00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:38,411 Trust me, zombies make everything extremely messy. 339 00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,614 First one shows up, then they start multiplying like rabbits. 340 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:44,151 And don't even get me started with the smell. 341 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:47,921 Am I dreaming? Awake? What is going on? 342 00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,023 Your power's getting stronger. 343 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,391 You just have to calm down, 344 00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,093 and then you'll be able to control it. 345 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,495 Okay. Okay, that's good, right? 346 00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,097 Yes and no. 347 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,032 What does that mean? 348 00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:01,534 With every positive comes a negative. 349 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,103 What's the negative? 350 00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,437 Kevin. 351 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,474 - Who? - He's a demon. 352 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,143 A demon? Named Kevin? 353 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:13,180 Well, all the cool names were taken. He's not happy about it. 354 00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,282 Maybe that's why he's so hellbent 355 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,117 on taking over the world. 356 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:22,322 Wait, destroying the world? He can do that? 357 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,590 Well, he can try. 358 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:24,992 But you've got to stop him. 359 00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,394 Why didn't you stop him? 360 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,230 Tried. Died. Happens in battle. 361 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,565 This Kevin demon guy is the one that killed you? 362 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,502 Mmh hmm. Now he's coming after you. 363 00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,604 Why? Why me? 364 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,439 Because you're the gatekeeper. 365 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:42,109 You have to stop demons from taking over the world. 366 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,643 It's part of the job description. 367 00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:45,578 Don't you watch television? 368 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,580 There are, like, a hundred TV shows about this. 369 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,382 He can't find me, right? 370 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,985 Oh, he's on his way right now. 371 00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,987 How does he know where I am? 372 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:55,655 - Did you tell him? - No.- 373 00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,624 Every time you use your power, 374 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:59,592 it's like a beacon for demons. 375 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,727 The more powerful you become, 376 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,630 the stronger the signal is. 377 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,333 What does he want from me? 378 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,402 To kill you, of course, and take your power. 379 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,272 [FRUSTRATED SIGH] What's the name of that movie, 380 00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,606 you know, "There can only be one!" 381 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,075 It was a TV series, too. 382 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,509 I don't watch television. 383 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,445 Oh, really? God, you are even more 384 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,147 clueless than I thought. 385 00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,649 Why didn't you tell me about this in the first place? 386 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,385 Oh, it's your birthday. Didn't want to ruin it. 387 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:26,453 Kind of a downer. 388 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,755 Demon coming to kill you... 389 00:16:28,788 --> 00:16:30,623 This totally sucks. 390 00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,392 Oh yeah. Demons suck. 391 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,661 And they also bite really hard, and they scratch. 392 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,465 You should see my dead body. Not pretty. 393 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,300 Can I run? 394 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,069 Well, while you still have two working legs, 395 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:46,039 but it's not going to help. Kevin will find you. 396 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:47,440 You know, it is almost impossible to 397 00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,043 make the name "Kevin" sound ominous. 398 00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,778 [PUTTING ON A HUSKY VOICE] "Kevin is coming." 399 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,247 "The night Kevin came home..." 400 00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:57,484 "One, two, Kevin's coming for you." 401 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,785 Nah. Doesn't work. 402 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,688 What does this Kevin demon look like? 403 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,157 Well, yeah, that's kind of the tricky part. 404 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:05,792 This guy's a shape-shifter. 405 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,594 Which means? 406 00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:08,795 He can shift his shape. 407 00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:11,764 Transform. Become whatever he wants. 408 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,800 When will he get here? 409 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,303 Well, he is already here. 410 00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,504 [LOUD KNOCKING] 411 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:20,373 [DOORBELL] 412 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,674 Is that him? 413 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,775 I don't know. 414 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,511 I was a witch, not a psychic. 415 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:26,113 What do I do? 416 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,684 [MORE KNOCKING] 417 00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,120 [DOORBELL] 418 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,155 [KNOCKING] 419 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,659 [KNOCKING] 420 00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,662 - Who is it? - Headmaster Hellion. 421 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:45,198 [DOOR UNLATCHING, SQUEAKING] 422 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,699 Ah, Pothead. 423 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,402 You seen my niece? I don't trust that girl. 424 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:50,537 [DOOR CLICKS SHUT] 425 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,240 I think I saw her jumping rope earlier. 426 00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,641 Jumping rope? 427 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:55,842 That doesn't sound like her. 428 00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:57,577 More like jumping someone's bones. 429 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,479 Where are the other guys? 430 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,214 Ummm... Not sure. 431 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,185 They're probably having an orgy as we speak. 432 00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,421 You got kids, Pothead? 433 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,357 No sir. I'm 18. 434 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,859 Good. Neither do I. Never wanted 'em. 435 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,727 They just bring about a whole lot of... 436 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,130 aggravation, if you ask me. 437 00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:20,533 Then why do you run a high school? 438 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:24,171 Things don't always go as planned. 439 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,372 Yeah, tell me about it. 440 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,340 [MAGICAL SOUND] 441 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,442 Well, it all started when I was a boy. 442 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,444 Saw an ad for a movie called School of Discipline. 443 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,414 And I thought, well that sounded like a good idea. 444 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:36,483 My parents taught me discipline. 445 00:18:36,516 --> 00:18:38,285 And I came from a strict upbringing. 446 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,287 And I thought, what goes around comes around. 447 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,588 And if I could instill those values- 448 00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:42,855 That's fascinating, Mr. Hellion. 449 00:18:42,889 --> 00:18:45,458 But don't you need to go find Candice? 450 00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:47,760 You know, that girl is nothing but trouble. 451 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,797 Young men like you, you can be taught, improved... 452 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,699 But the same can't be said for the opposite sex. 453 00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,501 They're not to be trusted, Pothead. 454 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:58,238 They're, uh... mischievous, devious creatures. 455 00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,772 Illogical. 456 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,374 And they don't listen to authority. 457 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,511 First there was Lilith. 458 00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:05,812 And then there was Eve. 459 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,215 God's one big mistake. 460 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,950 Yeah, but, can't have can't have children without women, right? 461 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,519 Exactly. 462 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,654 No women, no children. That'd be the perfect world. 463 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:16,723 Well, look... 464 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,525 If you see my niece, tell her I'm looking for her. 465 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:20,660 And if she's with that guy Nick, 466 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:21,928 There's going to be hell to pay. 467 00:19:21,961 --> 00:19:23,330 [MUMBLING] Yeah, you're right about that. 468 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:24,497 What? 469 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,500 I said, "Will do!" Thanks for stopping by. 470 00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:28,668 [DOOR UNLATCHING] 471 00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,670 - [CLEARS THROAT] - [DOOR CLICKS SHUT] 472 00:19:30,703 --> 00:19:32,505 - [SIGHS] - Hey! 473 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:37,477 How'd you get in here? 474 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,379 Back door was open. 475 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,214 I was wondering if you or some of the other guys 476 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,316 had a change of clothes I could borrow. 477 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,253 I accidentally walked into the pool. 478 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,421 I don't really know why I did that. 479 00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,656 Yeah. Just... 480 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,791 Stay... there, just, 481 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,260 stay right there. 482 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:54,794 Thanks. 483 00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:01,768 [MURMURING] 484 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,605 LARRY: I wish I had a body like that. 485 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:08,207 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 486 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,550 Holy crap. 487 00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:19,452 I look... 488 00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:21,288 I look good! 489 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,658 [ELASTIC SNAPPING] Not bad. 490 00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,396 - Not bad at all. - Candice! 491 00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,697 When did you wake up? 492 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,332 I mean... 493 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:33,600 What are you doing here? 494 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,270 - Waiting for you. - In my...? 495 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,739 I mean... In Larry's room? 496 00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,341 I don't know who's room this is. 497 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:43,676 I'm just hiding somewhere my uncle couldn't find me. 498 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:46,546 You didn't get my text to meet me here? 499 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:49,816 Uh... Yeah, but your uncle was just here looking for you. 500 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,284 Well... 501 00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,620 He's not here now. 502 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,622 We're all alone. 503 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:58,691 Not really, your boyfriend's right downstairs! 504 00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,728 What are you talking about? You are my boyfriend. 505 00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,630 You think I'm seeing someone else? 506 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:04,797 [SIGHS] 507 00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:07,400 [MUMBLING] I know you're seeing someone else. 508 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,502 How can you accuse me of something like that? 509 00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,604 - That's not what I meant. - Nick! 510 00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,773 I would never cheat on you. 511 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:16,876 Do you... want me to prove it to you? 512 00:21:16,909 --> 00:21:19,979 You... don't have to do that, Candice. 513 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,314 I know, but... 514 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:22,682 I want to. 515 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:23,883 I'm ready. 516 00:21:23,916 --> 00:21:26,786 Well, if you want to. 517 00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:30,690 Wait! Stop. 518 00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:31,758 [POWERFUL WHOOSHING SOUND] 519 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,292 I'm not Nick. 520 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,896 [DEMONIC VOICE] And I'm not Candice. 521 00:21:36,929 --> 00:21:39,566 [STRANGE, DEEP DRONING SOUND] 522 00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,033 So, you're the chosen one. 523 00:21:41,067 --> 00:21:42,469 And you're gay. 524 00:21:42,502 --> 00:21:43,670 No. 525 00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:45,505 Why would you think that? 526 00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:48,441 What kind of guy tries to stop a beautiful girl 527 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,777 from taking off her clothes in his bedroom? 528 00:21:50,810 --> 00:21:53,346 I thought she thought I was her boyfriend. 529 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,515 That's what nice guys do. 530 00:21:55,548 --> 00:21:58,050 You know what else nice guys do? 531 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,653 They finish last. 532 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:04,891 Hey. Did you guys find a shirt for me yet? 533 00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,094 Guess not. 534 00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,498 Definitely gay. 535 00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:14,801 [DEMONIC VOICE] Your power is mine! 536 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:15,935 [THUNDEROUS WHOOSH] 537 00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:18,938 Rogers! Rogers! 538 00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,907 Rogers! How do you kill a demon? 539 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,775 Well, you know, I wasn't very good at it, 540 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:25,645 but I'm pretty sure running away won't accomplish that goal. 541 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:26,913 Well, beats dying. 542 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:39,692 [SHOES SQUEAKING ON FLOOR] 543 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:41,728 Where did you come from? 544 00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:42,995 Where did you come from?! 545 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,130 Where have you been? 546 00:22:44,163 --> 00:22:45,665 I was taking a nap. 547 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,567 I got so tired all of a sudden. 548 00:22:48,635 --> 00:22:50,603 After you told me to relax... 549 00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:52,138 Hey, did you whammy me? 550 00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:53,806 Not on purpose. 551 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,543 - Buck, I have a serious problem. - Let me guess... 552 00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:58,811 A demon named Kevin is trying to kill you? 553 00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:01,681 Actually yes. 554 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,116 How... How did you know that? 555 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:05,418 [MAGICAL WHIR] 556 00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:07,119 Surprise! 557 00:23:12,825 --> 00:23:14,794 TANK: Whoa! Just the guy we were looking for. 558 00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:16,696 What did I even do to you guys? 559 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,964 Somehow you hit us in the nuts 560 00:23:17,997 --> 00:23:19,566 while we weren't looking. 561 00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:21,901 I didn't do anything! 562 00:23:21,934 --> 00:23:24,471 I suppose we just hit ourselves, then. 563 00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:25,605 You know what, sounds good to me. 564 00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:27,474 [SUPERNATURAL WAVE SOUND] 565 00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:29,476 Why would we...? 566 00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:30,810 [PUNCH] 567 00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:33,012 What you hitting yourself for? 568 00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:34,113 - [STRANGE DRONE] - Uh...? 569 00:23:34,146 --> 00:23:35,181 - [IMPACT] - [GROAN] 570 00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:37,884 - What are you hitting yourself for? - [PUNCH] 571 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,452 I don't know! 572 00:23:39,486 --> 00:23:40,587 I can't stop! 573 00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:41,821 Me neither! 574 00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:44,691 - [IMPACT] - [GROAN] 575 00:23:47,093 --> 00:23:50,530 [PUNCHES AND STRUGGLING SOUNDS CONTINUE] 576 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:56,035 Where did you disappear to? 577 00:23:56,068 --> 00:23:57,637 Buck, is that you? 578 00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,539 Is that really, really you? 579 00:23:59,572 --> 00:24:02,542 As opposed to...? 580 00:24:02,575 --> 00:24:04,711 A shape-shifting demon taking your form? 581 00:24:04,744 --> 00:24:07,213 - Those things exist? - Yeah. 582 00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:08,815 And one's here to kill me and take my powers 583 00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:09,982 to destroy the world. 584 00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:12,485 Bummer. 585 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:15,922 Bummer? That's... 586 00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,757 That's your response to all that? 587 00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:18,891 You know I'm still trying to come 588 00:24:18,925 --> 00:24:21,728 to new terms with your magical powers. 589 00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:23,730 Going from that to demons ending the world 590 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,632 is a lot to take in, you know? 591 00:24:25,665 --> 00:24:27,767 Maybe we could confuse it. 592 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,901 How? 593 00:24:28,935 --> 00:24:31,938 By turning you into me, and me into you. 594 00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:33,005 But then, if he thinks I'm you, 595 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:35,041 he's just going to kill me. 596 00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:37,109 Right, but... you don't have to worry about that. 597 00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:39,178 - Why? - 'Cause I'll be here. 598 00:24:39,211 --> 00:24:41,147 As me? 599 00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:42,615 Right. As you. 600 00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:44,551 And you'll stop him before he kills you... 601 00:24:44,584 --> 00:24:46,953 Er, I mean, me? 602 00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:48,688 I mean... 603 00:24:48,721 --> 00:24:50,056 Yeah, that's the idea. 604 00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,594 Are you trying to confuse the demon, or us? 605 00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:56,629 Buck, it's very simple. 606 00:24:56,663 --> 00:24:57,764 A child could understand this. 607 00:24:57,797 --> 00:25:00,767 Oh, good. Find a child. Maybe he could explain it to me. 608 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,835 You're me, I'm you. 609 00:25:02,869 --> 00:25:05,672 - Get it? - But what if he just decides to kill both of us? 610 00:25:07,273 --> 00:25:08,708 I mean... 611 00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:10,610 Way to be positive. 612 00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:12,044 Hey, what are you guys up to? 613 00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:13,279 Candice. 614 00:25:13,312 --> 00:25:15,181 Hold it. That might not be her. 615 00:25:15,214 --> 00:25:16,716 What, are you blind? 616 00:25:16,749 --> 00:25:18,217 Of course that's her. 617 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,587 LARRY: It may be a demon in disguise. 618 00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:22,889 That's a hell of a disguise. 619 00:25:22,922 --> 00:25:24,557 Have you guys seen Nick? 620 00:25:24,591 --> 00:25:26,292 I was supposed to meet him here but, 621 00:25:26,325 --> 00:25:29,796 for some reason I started jumping rope and fell asleep. 622 00:25:29,829 --> 00:25:31,764 That's very unlike me. 623 00:25:31,798 --> 00:25:33,299 LARRY: Yeah, I've heard that one before. 624 00:25:33,332 --> 00:25:36,002 Just... don't come any closer... 625 00:25:36,035 --> 00:25:38,137 ...Or else... 626 00:25:38,170 --> 00:25:39,872 You'll be sorry. 627 00:25:39,906 --> 00:25:42,108 Yeah, he can make you play with yourself again. 628 00:25:42,141 --> 00:25:43,810 He can what? 629 00:25:43,843 --> 00:25:46,212 Why don't you just read her mind to see if it's really her? 630 00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:47,279 Good idea. 631 00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:51,217 CANDICE: What are you guys doing? 632 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,720 LARRY: I'm not picking up any brainwave activity. 633 00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:55,688 Then it's probably her. 634 00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:57,924 You guys are weird. 635 00:25:57,957 --> 00:25:58,991 Wait, don't go. 636 00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:00,226 [MAGICAL CHIME] 637 00:26:00,259 --> 00:26:02,061 What is this? Why can't I move? 638 00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:04,631 Turn around. 639 00:26:05,832 --> 00:26:07,734 How are you making me do this? 640 00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:09,936 You're getting the hang of this. 641 00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:12,104 I'm sorry, we can't have you wandering around out here. 642 00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:14,841 It's too dangerous. Just... let me explain. 643 00:26:14,874 --> 00:26:16,776 - Explain. - Okay, come. 644 00:26:17,744 --> 00:26:19,111 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 645 00:26:19,145 --> 00:26:21,848 [PANTING] 646 00:26:21,881 --> 00:26:23,916 ...over to me! As in walk over to me. 647 00:26:23,950 --> 00:26:25,184 That's what I meant to say. 648 00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:26,719 I'm sorry. 649 00:26:38,731 --> 00:26:41,367 Feeling a little horny, are we? 650 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,735 You're dead. 651 00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:44,303 I killed you. 652 00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:45,805 Ah, you got lucky. 653 00:26:45,838 --> 00:26:47,339 You were no match for me! 654 00:26:47,373 --> 00:26:49,175 [CHUCKLE] That's right, because nobody 655 00:26:49,208 --> 00:26:51,944 can kill the big bad Kevin demon. 656 00:26:51,978 --> 00:26:53,880 I told you not to call me that. 657 00:26:53,913 --> 00:26:56,048 My name is Gozer The Destroyer. 658 00:26:56,082 --> 00:26:58,217 [LAUGHING] That name's already taken. 659 00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,418 I don't care! 660 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,721 It's a cool sounding name, and I want it. 661 00:27:01,754 --> 00:27:02,922 You can change your name, 662 00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:04,824 but you're not going to change who you are. 663 00:27:04,857 --> 00:27:06,859 I am an all-power demon, 664 00:27:06,893 --> 00:27:08,728 about to take over the world. 665 00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:09,996 Named Kevin. 666 00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:12,164 [MAGICAL SOUND] 667 00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:15,367 ROGERS: Can't kill someone who's already dead! 668 00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:18,270 After I take that pathetic teen warlock's power, 669 00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:21,340 I will figure out a way to kill you for all eternity. 670 00:27:22,775 --> 00:27:24,744 You know, I would feel a lot safer 671 00:27:24,777 --> 00:27:26,145 if we had a silver bullet, 672 00:27:26,178 --> 00:27:28,981 holy water, garlic, and a cross. 673 00:27:29,015 --> 00:27:30,850 Isn't that stuff for fighting vampires? 674 00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:33,052 At this point, I'm not picky. 675 00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:35,788 KEVIN: Waiting for someone? 676 00:27:35,822 --> 00:27:38,190 Where's your little warlock friend? 677 00:27:38,224 --> 00:27:40,126 Hiding, I bet. 678 00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:43,295 Looks like someone's horny. 679 00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:45,865 I was referring to the demon. 680 00:27:45,898 --> 00:27:48,334 You're the girl he likes. 681 00:27:48,367 --> 00:27:49,936 It was fun pretending to be you. 682 00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:51,871 I heard you were me, too. 683 00:27:51,904 --> 00:27:54,140 Yeah. That wasn't so fun. 684 00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:55,875 Warlock! 685 00:27:55,908 --> 00:27:57,409 Come on out, or I'll kill your friends. 686 00:28:00,346 --> 00:28:02,414 [BLASTING SOUND] 687 00:28:07,486 --> 00:28:09,455 The games are over. 688 00:28:09,488 --> 00:28:12,959 Show yourself, or they die! 689 00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:15,828 Hey. That's my girlfriend! Let her go. 690 00:28:15,862 --> 00:28:18,064 Nick, stay out of this. 691 00:28:18,097 --> 00:28:20,032 You get around, don't you? 692 00:28:20,066 --> 00:28:23,035 I'm warning you, I will bash your face in! 693 00:28:24,003 --> 00:28:25,337 - [BLAST] - [IMPACT] 694 00:28:30,009 --> 00:28:31,944 Unless you want everyone in this house to die, 695 00:28:31,978 --> 00:28:34,413 Then I suggest you show yourself right now! 696 00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:38,450 [GASPING FOR BREATH] 697 00:28:38,484 --> 00:28:40,219 Just as I thought. 698 00:28:40,252 --> 00:28:42,421 [COUGHING] 699 00:28:49,295 --> 00:28:51,497 That can't be. 700 00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:53,465 If you're her, then... 701 00:28:53,499 --> 00:28:55,501 LARRY'S VOICE: Then she's me. 702 00:28:57,169 --> 00:28:58,170 [MAGICAL EXPLOSION] 703 00:29:01,908 --> 00:29:04,276 [CRACKLING ELECTRICITY] 704 00:29:07,446 --> 00:29:09,248 [INCREASING WHOOSHING SOUNDS] 705 00:29:09,281 --> 00:29:11,117 [ECHOING BLAST] 706 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,123 Now banish that bastard back to the underworld. 707 00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,490 How do I do that? 708 00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:21,493 The international language for "Go to hell." 709 00:29:23,362 --> 00:29:25,297 - [ABSTRACT STATIC] - [SWISH] 710 00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:26,498 Nooooooooo! 711 00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:29,401 - [EXPLOSIVE SHATTERING] - [ECHOING THUNDER] 712 00:29:29,435 --> 00:29:31,237 You did good, kid. 713 00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:33,840 Now be careful, that's a lot of power you have. 714 00:29:33,873 --> 00:29:36,843 - Use it wisely. - How? 715 00:29:36,876 --> 00:29:38,344 Well, you'll figure it out. 716 00:29:38,377 --> 00:29:41,047 I'd start by getting laid, but that's just me. 717 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:42,414 See you in about a hundred years. 718 00:29:42,448 --> 00:29:44,083 [CLACKING TEETH] 719 00:29:47,519 --> 00:29:48,955 Is it over? 720 00:29:48,988 --> 00:29:50,823 I think so. 721 00:29:50,857 --> 00:29:52,258 BUCK: It worked! 722 00:29:52,291 --> 00:29:53,826 Told you so. 723 00:29:53,860 --> 00:29:55,995 I never doubted it for a minute. 724 00:29:56,028 --> 00:29:58,130 You know I can still read your mind, right? 725 00:29:58,164 --> 00:29:59,798 I withdraw the statement. 726 00:30:02,101 --> 00:30:03,335 So... 727 00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:04,871 now that I saved your life and all, 728 00:30:04,904 --> 00:30:06,438 I was wondering if maybe, I could... 729 00:30:06,472 --> 00:30:08,474 get your number... or we could go on a date... 730 00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:11,177 - Nick! Are you okay, baby? - Okay. 731 00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:12,344 Never mind. 732 00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:18,517 I'm so confused... 733 00:30:18,550 --> 00:30:20,987 I just came down here to get a shirt. 734 00:30:21,020 --> 00:30:22,488 You never need to wear a shirt. 735 00:30:22,521 --> 00:30:24,423 You're perfect as is. 736 00:30:24,456 --> 00:30:25,524 NICK: Thanks. 737 00:30:31,230 --> 00:30:32,899 Saved my life? 738 00:30:32,932 --> 00:30:34,366 It was because of you I was in danger 739 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,069 in the first place, creep! 740 00:30:37,103 --> 00:30:38,570 [GROANS] I think I need to lie down. 741 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:40,272 I'll join you. 742 00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,015 Great. 743 00:30:49,048 --> 00:30:51,017 They're probably going to use my room. 744 00:30:51,050 --> 00:30:52,251 Perfect. 745 00:30:52,284 --> 00:30:53,652 Hey, don't sweat it, buddy. 746 00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,087 I mean, with powers like yours, 747 00:30:55,121 --> 00:30:56,956 you could have any girl you want. 748 00:30:56,989 --> 00:30:59,291 I mean, you're like a superhero, and... 749 00:30:59,325 --> 00:31:00,526 chicks dig superheroes. 750 00:31:00,559 --> 00:31:03,930 - I'm a warlock. - A teen warlock. 751 00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:06,198 So what, what does that mean? 752 00:31:06,232 --> 00:31:08,400 It means, you're entitled to have some fun. 753 00:31:08,434 --> 00:31:09,601 Make a few mistakes. 754 00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:12,071 It's spring break, remember? 755 00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:17,209 It's barely sundown and you've already saved the world. 756 00:31:17,243 --> 00:31:19,045 It's still your birthday. 757 00:31:19,078 --> 00:31:20,980 How about you and me hit up Fort Lauderdale? 758 00:31:21,013 --> 00:31:22,548 A warlock loose in South Beach? 759 00:31:22,581 --> 00:31:24,183 The possibilities are endless. 760 00:31:25,584 --> 00:31:27,419 Wait, neither of us have a car, how are we... 761 00:31:27,453 --> 00:31:29,555 ...or even any money! 762 00:31:29,588 --> 00:31:31,223 How are we going to get there? 763 00:31:31,257 --> 00:31:32,992 Just concentrate. 764 00:31:33,025 --> 00:31:34,093 Click your heels together three times 765 00:31:34,126 --> 00:31:36,695 and see what happens. 766 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:38,064 Alright. 767 00:31:38,097 --> 00:31:40,666 But don't let things get out of control. 768 00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:43,970 Wouldn't dream of it. 769 00:31:44,003 --> 00:31:45,404 [MAGICAL, SHIMMERING SOUND] 770 00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:46,638 [WHOOSH] 771 00:31:51,477 --> 00:31:53,045 - [EXPLOSION] - [RECORD SCRATCH] 772 00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:55,681 LARRY: Sorry about that. My bad. 773 00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,711 [WAVES CRASHING] 774 00:32:27,046 --> 00:32:28,680 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 775 00:32:59,245 --> 00:33:00,312 [JET ENGINE] 776 00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:21,500 [TRAFFIC NOISE] 777 00:33:24,170 --> 00:33:26,172 [SEAGULLS CALLING] 778 00:34:06,612 --> 00:34:09,415 [PHONE RINGING] 779 00:34:12,318 --> 00:34:15,654 [MALE VOICE]: Hello, You've reached the offices of Lunar Eclipse Studios, 780 00:34:15,687 --> 00:34:18,724 America's premiere source for cutting edge entertainment. 781 00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,626 No one is here right now to take your call, 782 00:34:20,659 --> 00:34:22,228 so please leave your name, your number, 783 00:34:22,261 --> 00:34:23,695 the reason you're calling, 784 00:34:23,729 --> 00:34:25,764 and we will get back to you as soon as possible. 785 00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:27,466 - [ANSWERING MACHINE BEEP] - [LOUD CRASH] 786 00:34:33,172 --> 00:34:34,673 Hello? 787 00:34:36,142 --> 00:34:37,643 Hello? 788 00:34:38,577 --> 00:34:40,412 Anybody here? 789 00:34:47,753 --> 00:34:49,688 [SIGHING] 790 00:34:49,721 --> 00:34:52,324 Fan-friggin'-tastic. 791 00:34:52,358 --> 00:34:53,692 What, did everybody decide to go 792 00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:55,727 to lunch at the same time, or what? 793 00:35:02,634 --> 00:35:04,670 Hello...? 794 00:35:24,590 --> 00:35:26,325 [RUSTLING] 795 00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:27,626 Oh, Morty. 796 00:35:27,659 --> 00:35:31,397 I swear to God, You are the worst manager in the whole... 797 00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:33,699 [DIALING] 798 00:35:33,732 --> 00:35:36,702 Ooh... Look what the cat dragged in. 799 00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:40,572 Alexis Jones. 800 00:35:40,606 --> 00:35:42,241 What, did you set up this little prank? 801 00:35:42,274 --> 00:35:43,775 What prank? 802 00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:45,177 Oh, getting me to come down here 803 00:35:45,211 --> 00:35:47,346 to the studio when it's closed. 804 00:35:47,379 --> 00:35:49,281 So you could gloat or something. 805 00:35:49,315 --> 00:35:53,652 I have better things to do with my time. 806 00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:55,687 So, this is for real? 807 00:35:55,721 --> 00:35:58,190 I didn't know this was an open audition. 808 00:35:58,224 --> 00:36:00,192 Oh, I have never had to audition 809 00:36:00,226 --> 00:36:02,561 for anything in my life. 810 00:36:04,330 --> 00:36:07,233 Oh, calling your agent? 811 00:36:07,266 --> 00:36:09,368 My manager, actually. 812 00:36:09,401 --> 00:36:10,802 Manager, huh? 813 00:36:10,836 --> 00:36:12,604 Ooh, that's fifteen percent! 814 00:36:12,638 --> 00:36:14,573 How's that going? 815 00:36:14,606 --> 00:36:16,875 Well... I'm going to have to call him and tell him 816 00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:19,678 that the part was obviously smaller than he thought. 817 00:36:19,711 --> 00:36:21,547 Since you're up for it. 818 00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:23,815 Well by all means. 819 00:36:26,618 --> 00:36:29,588 Oh, maybe I'll stick around. 820 00:36:29,621 --> 00:36:31,690 Of course you will. 821 00:36:31,723 --> 00:36:34,326 You know, there's no shame in losing 822 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,262 a lead role to me. 823 00:36:36,295 --> 00:36:38,330 I'm sure that kind of thing happens to you 824 00:36:38,364 --> 00:36:40,232 all the time. 825 00:36:40,266 --> 00:36:42,868 I've been in seventy movies. 826 00:36:42,901 --> 00:36:45,537 One hundred and twenty-three and counting. 827 00:36:45,571 --> 00:36:49,541 [LAUGHS] Oh, well I wasn't counting YouTube videos. 828 00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:51,943 Oh, and the last time your name was 829 00:36:51,977 --> 00:36:54,380 above the title was on a VHS box! 830 00:36:54,413 --> 00:36:55,947 Oh just give it up, Alexis! 831 00:36:55,981 --> 00:36:57,783 I've known Bosley for years, 832 00:36:57,816 --> 00:36:59,618 and he runs this place. 833 00:36:59,651 --> 00:37:02,721 There's no way you're getting that role over me. 834 00:37:02,754 --> 00:37:04,990 Retract the claws, Miss Kitty! 835 00:37:05,023 --> 00:37:09,261 I just might be the least of your worries. 836 00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:13,732 Where'd you find that? 837 00:37:13,765 --> 00:37:16,502 It was on the front door. 838 00:37:16,535 --> 00:37:17,836 Where's Bosley? 839 00:37:17,869 --> 00:37:19,438 Is he here? 840 00:37:19,471 --> 00:37:22,441 I don't know. Maybe he's in the Executive washroom 841 00:37:22,474 --> 00:37:24,810 doing coke. 842 00:37:24,843 --> 00:37:26,545 And I guess Ellen is supposed to meet 843 00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:28,847 us here, too, huh? 844 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,983 Ahh, she's already in the screening room. 845 00:37:32,017 --> 00:37:33,319 [SIGH] 846 00:37:33,352 --> 00:37:34,853 Terrific. 847 00:37:38,757 --> 00:37:41,026 [FOOTSTEPS] 848 00:37:44,029 --> 00:37:45,631 Sylvia! 849 00:37:45,664 --> 00:37:47,833 So glad you could finally make it. 850 00:37:47,866 --> 00:37:50,369 Oh, Ellen. 851 00:37:50,402 --> 00:37:52,471 It's always a pleasure. 852 00:37:52,504 --> 00:37:55,006 Isn't it, though? 853 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,775 I heard you retired. 854 00:37:56,808 --> 00:37:58,710 Why would I retire at twenty-nine? 855 00:37:59,578 --> 00:38:00,979 [STIFLED LAUGHTER] 856 00:38:01,012 --> 00:38:02,681 Are you for real? 857 00:38:02,714 --> 00:38:04,983 Be nice, Sylvia. 858 00:38:05,016 --> 00:38:09,455 She spent a fortune to look this pretend-young. 859 00:38:09,488 --> 00:38:11,590 Not as much as you did, though. 860 00:38:11,623 --> 00:38:13,725 I'm so jealous! 861 00:38:14,993 --> 00:38:17,028 [MAN'S VOICE OVER PA] Hello, girls. 862 00:38:17,062 --> 00:38:18,997 ALL: Hi, Bosley! 863 00:38:19,030 --> 00:38:21,533 BOSLEY: Sylvia, Alexis, Ellen, 864 00:38:21,567 --> 00:38:23,502 I really want to thank you for coming out today. 865 00:38:23,535 --> 00:38:25,003 You're three of the most well-known 866 00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:26,772 and respected B-movie actresses 867 00:38:26,805 --> 00:38:28,340 in the world. 868 00:38:28,374 --> 00:38:30,876 I'm a hell of a lucky guy to have you all in my studio. 869 00:38:30,909 --> 00:38:33,845 Now... On to the reason I asked you here... 870 00:38:33,879 --> 00:38:35,113 Oh, and about that. 871 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:37,383 Uh, no one at the studio told me 872 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:38,684 that this was going to be an audition, 873 00:38:38,717 --> 00:38:41,553 and that I would have to be in the same room with these two... 874 00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:43,489 - But I just- - BOSLEY: You see, 875 00:38:43,522 --> 00:38:44,723 we just finished about 70 percent 876 00:38:44,756 --> 00:38:46,958 principal photography on a new slasher movie. 877 00:38:46,992 --> 00:38:49,695 Are the kids still calling them "slasher movies"? 878 00:38:49,728 --> 00:38:51,530 Anyway, the director I hired, 879 00:38:51,563 --> 00:38:52,831 a real sweet guy from Belgium, knows 880 00:38:52,864 --> 00:38:55,133 about three words of English. 881 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:56,668 Considers himself some kind of 882 00:38:56,702 --> 00:38:58,404 modern-day Godard or something. 883 00:38:58,437 --> 00:38:59,938 He wrote the entire plot of the movie 884 00:38:59,971 --> 00:39:01,473 down on the back of a post-it, 885 00:39:01,507 --> 00:39:02,808 went out with a camera 886 00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,543 and his cast and crew, 887 00:39:04,576 --> 00:39:06,612 and just shot whatever the hell he felt like. 888 00:39:06,645 --> 00:39:08,847 - Wow. - Yikes. 889 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,115 BOSLEY: What we got back is some pretty 890 00:39:10,148 --> 00:39:11,783 intense footage. 891 00:39:11,817 --> 00:39:13,452 The kids are going to go nuts over it. 892 00:39:13,485 --> 00:39:16,154 The problem is, we had to fire the guy last week for going 893 00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:17,823 way over budget. 894 00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:19,858 And all we got was this post-it note to go by. 895 00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:22,428 We don't have an ending, and it's all pretty-boys. 896 00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:25,864 I want to inject a little female-perspective into this thing. 897 00:39:25,897 --> 00:39:27,799 Now, I figure I could just hire some of my 898 00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,668 hack writers to crank out something for 899 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,503 a quick fifty bucks. 900 00:39:31,537 --> 00:39:33,739 Or... I could try something unique. 901 00:39:33,772 --> 00:39:36,842 Umm, define "unique." 902 00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:38,644 BOSLEY: The three of you have more combined 903 00:39:38,677 --> 00:39:42,180 horror movie experience than Alfred Hitchcock's toilet seat. 904 00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,149 Now, I've got a rough assembly 905 00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:47,018 of he movie set up on that Blu-ray player on the ceiling. 906 00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:48,754 You watch it, and the one of you who can 907 00:39:48,787 --> 00:39:49,988 come up with the perfect ending, 908 00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:52,758 I'll cast as the female lead. 909 00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:54,460 All the screen time you want, 910 00:39:54,493 --> 00:39:57,128 Plus, you'll get a co-producer credit. 911 00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:59,831 I wish I could just hire all three of you for this... 912 00:39:59,865 --> 00:40:02,601 Uh, but we're not screenwriters. 913 00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:04,135 I am! 914 00:40:04,169 --> 00:40:06,872 I wrote and starred in the last Leather Mutant movie, remember? 915 00:40:06,905 --> 00:40:08,574 Leather Mutant 4. 916 00:40:08,607 --> 00:40:09,841 Uh, like I said, 917 00:40:09,875 --> 00:40:12,143 we're not screenwriters. 918 00:40:12,177 --> 00:40:13,545 BOSLEY: I'm going to just sit here 919 00:40:13,579 --> 00:40:15,581 and keep my mouth shut. 920 00:40:15,614 --> 00:40:16,648 I'll listen to my iPod or something. 921 00:40:16,682 --> 00:40:18,850 Pretend I'm not even here. 922 00:40:18,884 --> 00:40:20,486 I want you ladies to give this thing 923 00:40:20,519 --> 00:40:22,854 your undivided attention. 924 00:40:22,888 --> 00:40:24,556 Come and get me when you're ready 925 00:40:24,590 --> 00:40:25,857 and I'll pick the best ending. 926 00:40:25,891 --> 00:40:28,193 Ta-ta for now. 927 00:40:29,260 --> 00:40:30,896 Well? 928 00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:36,602 [SIGHS] 929 00:40:42,908 --> 00:40:45,010 Too good to sit with the rest of us? 930 00:40:45,043 --> 00:40:47,546 Just roll the footage. 931 00:40:51,583 --> 00:40:52,851 [MOTOR HUMMING] 932 00:41:01,893 --> 00:41:03,228 [BEEP] 933 00:41:03,261 --> 00:41:04,996 [DIGITAL WHIRRING] 934 00:41:05,030 --> 00:41:06,898 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 935 00:41:28,286 --> 00:41:32,190 [FOOTSTEPS] 936 00:41:44,302 --> 00:41:47,205 Oh, I got it! It's zombies! 937 00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:49,575 No, it's a vampire fraternity! 938 00:41:49,608 --> 00:41:50,942 They already did that. 939 00:41:50,976 --> 00:41:52,578 Shhh! 940 00:41:54,012 --> 00:41:55,080 [FOOTSTEPS] 941 00:42:05,156 --> 00:42:06,558 [FLOWING WATER] 942 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:10,261 [WAVES CRASHING] 943 00:42:12,030 --> 00:42:13,298 [SEAGULLS CALLING] 944 00:42:25,376 --> 00:42:27,112 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 945 00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:52,638 [HEAVY MUSICAL BEAT KICKS IN] 946 00:43:49,728 --> 00:43:51,296 [SLOW, BROODING THEME] 947 00:43:54,265 --> 00:43:56,267 [FOOTSTEPS] 948 00:44:05,343 --> 00:44:07,178 [UPBEAT POP MUSIC IN BACKGROUND] 949 00:44:07,212 --> 00:44:09,080 What's up, fellow frat dudes? 950 00:44:09,114 --> 00:44:10,849 What's shaking? 951 00:44:10,882 --> 00:44:13,418 Oh hey, Biff. What's up? 952 00:44:13,451 --> 00:44:15,120 Just the usual, bro-han! 953 00:44:15,153 --> 00:44:17,155 I'm drinking this beer! 954 00:44:17,188 --> 00:44:19,791 [GRUNTS] Workin' on my abs! 955 00:44:21,226 --> 00:44:23,261 Radical, dude! 956 00:44:23,294 --> 00:44:24,930 Nice. 957 00:44:26,031 --> 00:44:28,233 [SCARY, INDUSTRIAL MUSIC] 958 00:44:29,768 --> 00:44:32,303 [FOOTSTEPS] 959 00:44:34,039 --> 00:44:35,373 [WHOOSH] 960 00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,219 [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] 961 00:45:52,283 --> 00:45:53,384 [FOOTSTEPS] 962 00:46:25,183 --> 00:46:26,284 [WHOOSH] 963 00:46:57,382 --> 00:46:58,950 Oh, my... 964 00:46:58,984 --> 00:47:01,887 So far this is genius. 965 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,255 It's great cinematography. 966 00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:11,262 [LOUD, ELECTRICAL CRACKLING] 967 00:47:11,296 --> 00:47:12,530 Whoa! 968 00:47:12,563 --> 00:47:14,599 The power just went out. 969 00:47:14,632 --> 00:47:16,534 Sure is dark in here. 970 00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:20,471 No power, no AC. 971 00:47:20,505 --> 00:47:21,907 [SNIFFS] 972 00:47:21,940 --> 00:47:23,541 I'm taking a shower! 973 00:47:26,277 --> 00:47:28,947 Hey, showers still work when The power's out, right? 974 00:47:28,980 --> 00:47:30,581 I gotta take a shower! 975 00:47:30,615 --> 00:47:32,183 I really worked up a sweat. 976 00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,385 [CONTROLLED BREATHING] 977 00:47:37,055 --> 00:47:38,389 Hey Biff... 978 00:47:38,423 --> 00:47:40,025 Well, you don't think this has anything to do 979 00:47:40,058 --> 00:47:41,126 with that hazing stunt we pulled 980 00:47:41,159 --> 00:47:43,361 where the old gypsy lady accidentally got killed... 981 00:47:43,394 --> 00:47:45,030 Do you? 982 00:47:45,063 --> 00:47:46,364 Don't sweat it, bro, I'm sure it's just some 983 00:47:46,397 --> 00:47:49,134 freak power outage. 984 00:47:49,167 --> 00:47:51,102 Let's split up and look for a fusebox. 985 00:47:51,136 --> 00:47:52,904 It's gotta be around here somewhere. 986 00:47:52,938 --> 00:47:55,006 Solid plan, dude. 987 00:47:56,241 --> 00:47:57,943 But first... 988 00:47:57,976 --> 00:47:59,945 we're going to need flashlights. 989 00:48:01,579 --> 00:48:03,114 Flashlights? 990 00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:04,950 In the middle of the day? 991 00:48:04,983 --> 00:48:06,451 Hey, come on! Flashlights, goddamn it! 992 00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:07,986 Come on! 993 00:48:08,019 --> 00:48:11,156 Could you just shut up and watch this? 994 00:48:11,189 --> 00:48:13,491 Yes, both of you shut up. 995 00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:18,329 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 996 00:48:22,467 --> 00:48:24,502 [POURING WATER] 997 00:48:33,111 --> 00:48:35,013 [SEAGULLS CALLING] 998 00:49:14,552 --> 00:49:16,221 [FOOTSTEPS] 999 00:49:40,078 --> 00:49:42,713 [OMINOUS MUSIC] 1000 00:49:42,747 --> 00:49:44,115 - [METALLIC SWISH] - [MUSICAL CLIMAX] 1001 00:49:44,149 --> 00:49:45,483 [GASP] 1002 00:49:46,317 --> 00:49:47,685 [BEEP] 1003 00:49:47,718 --> 00:49:50,688 Sorry, I had to stop that for a minute. 1004 00:49:50,721 --> 00:49:52,390 [SIGHS] 1005 00:49:52,423 --> 00:49:54,125 That was a little bit more intense 1006 00:49:54,159 --> 00:49:56,394 than what I was expecting. 1007 00:49:56,427 --> 00:49:58,229 The guy with the knife... 1008 00:49:58,263 --> 00:49:59,764 and the black gloves? 1009 00:49:59,797 --> 00:50:02,500 It is so Giallo. 1010 00:50:02,533 --> 00:50:04,469 What's Giallo? 1011 00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:08,206 It's an Italian slasher film. 1012 00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,541 Oh my God! 1013 00:50:10,575 --> 00:50:12,443 Well then why didn't you just say 1014 00:50:12,477 --> 00:50:15,113 "Italian horror slasher film?" 1015 00:50:15,146 --> 00:50:17,648 Stop being pretentious! 1016 00:50:17,682 --> 00:50:19,650 You've been in the horror business 1017 00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:21,486 for forty years, 1018 00:50:21,519 --> 00:50:25,223 And you don't know what a Giallo is? 1019 00:50:25,256 --> 00:50:27,492 I have not been in the businesses 1020 00:50:27,525 --> 00:50:30,095 for forty years! 1021 00:50:30,128 --> 00:50:31,562 Let's not fight, okay? 1022 00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:34,532 Especially with Bosley watching. 1023 00:50:34,565 --> 00:50:36,234 Fine. 1024 00:50:36,267 --> 00:50:38,669 Let's just focus on the movie. 1025 00:50:38,703 --> 00:50:41,239 Okay, so we have some studs, 1026 00:50:41,272 --> 00:50:43,374 and a guy with black gloves 1027 00:50:43,408 --> 00:50:44,742 running around in the background... 1028 00:50:44,775 --> 00:50:45,843 In the background, 1029 00:50:45,876 --> 00:50:48,413 off-camera... 1030 00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:50,081 Oh! 1031 00:50:50,115 --> 00:50:51,716 And the gypsy woman. 1032 00:50:51,749 --> 00:50:53,851 Right! Some old gypsy woman. 1033 00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:56,187 She's the killer. 1034 00:50:56,221 --> 00:50:57,388 No. 1035 00:50:57,422 --> 00:50:58,723 No. 1036 00:50:58,756 --> 00:51:01,159 It reminds me of a movie that I did 1037 00:51:01,192 --> 00:51:02,593 in Romania about ten years ago. 1038 00:51:02,627 --> 00:51:04,729 Subhumanoid Killers, remember? 1039 00:51:04,762 --> 00:51:07,798 I mean, the old gypsy lady's a red-herring. 1040 00:51:07,832 --> 00:51:09,667 But I'll bet you cash money, 1041 00:51:09,700 --> 00:51:11,269 the real killer... 1042 00:51:11,302 --> 00:51:13,871 is one of the frat boys' sister, 1043 00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:15,340 who has been held in the basement 1044 00:51:15,373 --> 00:51:17,675 for ten years. 1045 00:51:17,708 --> 00:51:19,544 So, they've been in a frat since they were 1046 00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:21,279 eight years old? 1047 00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:24,615 No. I don't know! 1048 00:51:24,649 --> 00:51:26,384 It doesn't have to be ten years, 1049 00:51:26,417 --> 00:51:28,253 it's just what happened in The Subhumanoid Killers. 1050 00:51:29,287 --> 00:51:31,889 Oh my God, that was so terrible! 1051 00:51:31,922 --> 00:51:33,558 Congratulations. 1052 00:51:33,591 --> 00:51:37,228 You were locked in a basement for ten years, 1053 00:51:37,262 --> 00:51:41,332 and then you popped up and you had an expensive hairdo, 1054 00:51:41,366 --> 00:51:45,836 and about seventy dollars worth of glamor makeup on. 1055 00:51:46,504 --> 00:51:49,174 So realistic! 1056 00:51:49,207 --> 00:51:52,810 Well excuse me, Charlize Theron! 1057 00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:55,713 I just saw your new TV movie. 1058 00:51:55,746 --> 00:51:57,482 [LAUGHING] What did you play? 1059 00:51:57,515 --> 00:51:59,884 A high school janitor who showed up to work 1060 00:51:59,917 --> 00:52:02,520 in a miniskirt and high heels every day? 1061 00:52:02,553 --> 00:52:05,556 It was an important part of the plot. 1062 00:52:05,590 --> 00:52:07,558 Okay, that's enough! 1063 00:52:07,592 --> 00:52:08,859 Will you guys stop fighting, 1064 00:52:08,893 --> 00:52:10,461 so we can keep watching this? 1065 00:52:10,495 --> 00:52:12,730 - Please? - Fine. 1066 00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:18,603 [BEEP] 1067 00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:20,338 [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC] 1068 00:52:30,215 --> 00:52:32,750 [FOOTSTEPS] 1069 00:52:41,526 --> 00:52:43,661 [SHOWER RUNNING] 1070 00:52:45,630 --> 00:52:46,664 [METALLIC SWISH] 1071 00:52:47,598 --> 00:52:49,166 [GASPS] 1072 00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:53,971 Okay, they killed B.J. 1073 00:52:54,004 --> 00:52:55,806 I really liked B.J. 1074 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:57,775 [SCOFFS] I saw that one coming. 1075 00:52:59,777 --> 00:53:01,279 Seriously, what do we have? 1076 00:53:01,312 --> 00:53:03,481 So far two people are dead, 1077 00:53:03,514 --> 00:53:05,250 four more are wandering around 1078 00:53:05,283 --> 00:53:06,451 inside the frat house. 1079 00:53:06,484 --> 00:53:07,918 The power's out... 1080 00:53:07,952 --> 00:53:09,787 And there's the gypsy. 1081 00:53:09,820 --> 00:53:12,490 You know, I wanted to point that out. 1082 00:53:12,523 --> 00:53:14,792 So far the only female role even mentioned 1083 00:53:14,825 --> 00:53:16,694 In the movie is an old gypsy lady. 1084 00:53:16,727 --> 00:53:18,596 And I'll just have you know, Bosley, I'm not 1085 00:53:18,629 --> 00:53:20,598 playing an old gypsy lady. 1086 00:53:20,631 --> 00:53:22,767 Four hours every day in the makeup chair... 1087 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,469 Fake moles... 1088 00:53:24,502 --> 00:53:27,605 That's an hour less than normal. 1089 00:53:27,638 --> 00:53:31,942 You could just play it au naturel. 1090 00:53:31,976 --> 00:53:34,979 Let's just watch the movie, shall we? 1091 00:53:35,012 --> 00:53:36,681 This reminds me of when I was writing 1092 00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:38,949 the screenplay for Leather Mutant 4' 1093 00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,018 I had to ask myself these same questions. 1094 00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:43,554 What do we know about these frat guys? 1095 00:53:43,588 --> 00:53:46,491 What makes their characters tick? 1096 00:53:46,524 --> 00:53:49,327 Why are they running around inside the frat house? 1097 00:53:49,360 --> 00:53:50,661 What's their motivation? 1098 00:53:50,695 --> 00:53:52,463 They're morons. 1099 00:53:52,497 --> 00:53:54,465 They drink beer? 1100 00:53:54,499 --> 00:53:56,534 They die well? 1101 00:53:58,603 --> 00:54:00,405 Exactly. 1102 00:54:00,438 --> 00:54:02,773 It's a typical, B-movie cheese-fest, 1103 00:54:02,807 --> 00:54:05,042 Right up until the killer with the gloves shows up. 1104 00:54:05,075 --> 00:54:09,914 So, you have a director that's bad at directing actors, 1105 00:54:09,947 --> 00:54:13,684 But he's really, really good at directing violence... 1106 00:54:13,718 --> 00:54:15,720 Yeah. Who's never been to college, 1107 00:54:15,753 --> 00:54:17,422 or even met a college student. 1108 00:54:17,455 --> 00:54:18,623 Ever. 1109 00:54:18,656 --> 00:54:20,991 You guys ever hear of a movie from the 70s, 1110 00:54:21,025 --> 00:54:23,761 called Doctor Meat's Nightmare Dungeon? 1111 00:54:24,895 --> 00:54:27,465 Yeah. Is that where the dwarf puts 1112 00:54:27,498 --> 00:54:29,334 the woman in the closet and tortures her, 1113 00:54:29,367 --> 00:54:31,802 or something like that? 1114 00:54:31,836 --> 00:54:34,439 Well. I wasn't born during the 70s, but... 1115 00:54:34,472 --> 00:54:38,008 [LAUGHING] Yeah. You were bartending back in the 70s. 1116 00:54:40,478 --> 00:54:43,047 But... I used to date this grip. 1117 00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:45,350 He worked on a lot of Corman movies, 1118 00:54:45,383 --> 00:54:46,984 and occasionally did some real bargain-basement stuff 1119 00:54:47,017 --> 00:54:48,419 for indie guys. 1120 00:54:48,453 --> 00:54:50,821 He told me this story. 1121 00:54:50,855 --> 00:54:54,492 He was key grip on Doctor Meat's Nightmare Dungeon. 1122 00:54:54,525 --> 00:54:57,862 It comes out and everybody goes crazy, 1123 00:54:57,895 --> 00:55:01,832 because the violence and the special effects are so realistic. 1124 00:55:01,866 --> 00:55:04,735 Four years later, the cops show up on his doorstep. 1125 00:55:04,769 --> 00:55:08,072 They're talking to everybody from the production. 1126 00:55:08,105 --> 00:55:10,808 They want to know why some of the actors 1127 00:55:10,841 --> 00:55:14,945 from the movie haven't been seen or heard from since it came out. 1128 00:55:14,979 --> 00:55:16,614 Oh. Let me see... 1129 00:55:16,647 --> 00:55:19,517 They're probably waiting tables at Sizzler? 1130 00:55:19,550 --> 00:55:21,952 No. 1131 00:55:21,986 --> 00:55:24,755 This grip I was dating... 1132 00:55:24,789 --> 00:55:27,057 he takes the cops to where they shot the movie. 1133 00:55:27,091 --> 00:55:29,427 Some old, abandoned house in Encino. 1134 00:55:29,460 --> 00:55:32,062 And he tells the cops some of the weird things 1135 00:55:32,096 --> 00:55:34,031 that the director was into. 1136 00:55:34,064 --> 00:55:35,700 Like. He would have the crew 1137 00:55:35,733 --> 00:55:38,903 set up the shots for all the death scenes. 1138 00:55:38,936 --> 00:55:40,838 And then he'd clear the set. 1139 00:55:40,871 --> 00:55:43,140 And he would shoot those scenes with just him... 1140 00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:44,308 and the actor. 1141 00:55:44,341 --> 00:55:47,612 Well then. So what happened to the makeup effects guys? 1142 00:55:47,645 --> 00:55:49,514 That was another weird thing. 1143 00:55:49,547 --> 00:55:51,416 The director told the crew, 1144 00:55:51,449 --> 00:55:55,453 that he was going to do all the special makeup effects himself. 1145 00:55:55,486 --> 00:55:57,888 And yet nobody ever sees any effects stuff. 1146 00:55:57,922 --> 00:56:01,426 No stage blood. No fake knives, nothing. 1147 00:56:01,459 --> 00:56:03,694 And yet he's pulling off these incredible, 1148 00:56:03,728 --> 00:56:05,463 super-realistic effects. 1149 00:56:05,496 --> 00:56:08,699 So, he shoots these effects shots, 1150 00:56:08,733 --> 00:56:10,568 with just him and the actor. 1151 00:56:10,601 --> 00:56:12,703 And then, whichever actor is in the kill scene, 1152 00:56:12,737 --> 00:56:14,439 he sends them home afterward. 1153 00:56:14,472 --> 00:56:18,008 Except there's no crew there to see them leave. 1154 00:56:18,042 --> 00:56:20,711 ALEXIS: Yeah. I think I know where this is going. 1155 00:56:20,745 --> 00:56:23,681 The cops look around, find six dead bodies 1156 00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:25,883 wrapped in tarps under the house. 1157 00:56:25,916 --> 00:56:27,418 The actors. 1158 00:56:27,452 --> 00:56:28,653 Their wounds match everything that 1159 00:56:28,686 --> 00:56:30,555 happened to them in the movie. 1160 00:56:30,588 --> 00:56:33,090 This director was so intent 1161 00:56:33,123 --> 00:56:35,526 on making the violence look real, 1162 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:36,994 That he just cut out the middle man and 1163 00:56:37,027 --> 00:56:39,196 killed these guys on screen! 1164 00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:40,698 So for four years people are 1165 00:56:40,731 --> 00:56:42,166 flocking to the theater, 1166 00:56:42,199 --> 00:56:43,634 because they think this is the next 1167 00:56:43,668 --> 00:56:45,169 Texas Chainsaw Massacre. 1168 00:56:45,202 --> 00:56:48,506 And it turns out they're watching a snuff film! 1169 00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:52,009 Oh, no. You don't think... 1170 00:56:52,042 --> 00:56:53,911 Maybe Bosley decided that the only way 1171 00:56:53,944 --> 00:56:55,680 to get the kids to see his movie 1172 00:56:55,713 --> 00:56:58,115 is to make it as realistic as possible. 1173 00:56:58,148 --> 00:56:59,950 No. 1174 00:56:59,984 --> 00:57:01,552 Bosley's a lot of things. 1175 00:57:01,586 --> 00:57:02,953 I mean he's a con artist 1176 00:57:02,987 --> 00:57:04,655 and a drug addict, 1177 00:57:04,689 --> 00:57:05,856 He's a womanizer 1178 00:57:05,890 --> 00:57:07,558 and a tax evader. 1179 00:57:07,592 --> 00:57:09,527 He's an alcoholic, a bad father 1180 00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:10,628 and a lousy lay, 1181 00:57:10,661 --> 00:57:12,963 but he is not a murderer! 1182 00:57:12,997 --> 00:57:14,732 Unless somebody paid him... 1183 00:57:14,765 --> 00:57:16,701 cash. Up front. 1184 00:57:16,734 --> 00:57:19,504 Well what about that Belgian director? 1185 00:57:19,537 --> 00:57:20,938 Maybe he's a wacko, 1186 00:57:20,971 --> 00:57:23,841 and Bosley does not know. 1187 00:57:23,874 --> 00:57:26,477 Well. If he doesn't know it, I'm not going to tell him. 1188 00:57:26,511 --> 00:57:28,045 Why not? 1189 00:57:28,078 --> 00:57:31,516 Because I'm not losing this gig. That's why not! 1190 00:57:31,549 --> 00:57:33,651 Are you serious? 1191 00:57:33,684 --> 00:57:37,655 Yeah! I mean. Who says you got the role? 1192 00:57:37,688 --> 00:57:39,189 What about us? 1193 00:57:39,223 --> 00:57:42,259 [SCOFFS] You're acting like you would turn it down? 1194 00:57:42,292 --> 00:57:44,895 I'd have to think about it. 1195 00:57:44,929 --> 00:57:46,697 Look. This isn't a snuff movie, okay? 1196 00:57:46,731 --> 00:57:50,100 I mean. I saw blood tubes in some of those shots. 1197 00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:52,703 And that guy who played B.J... 1198 00:57:52,737 --> 00:57:54,238 I think I saw him at an audition 1199 00:57:54,271 --> 00:57:56,240 for an Old Navy commercial last week. 1200 00:57:56,273 --> 00:57:59,243 According to you, anyway. 1201 00:57:59,276 --> 00:58:01,011 Well if this is all too much for you, 1202 00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:02,980 you can always leave. 1203 00:58:03,013 --> 00:58:05,049 Listen. We're just getting distracted. 1204 00:58:05,082 --> 00:58:06,984 Let's just see what happens. 1205 00:58:12,022 --> 00:58:13,290 [BEEP] 1206 00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:14,959 [PROJECTOR FAN HUMS] 1207 00:58:14,992 --> 00:58:17,595 [SINISTER MUSIC] 1208 00:58:20,064 --> 00:58:22,767 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 1209 00:58:26,571 --> 00:58:31,141 [FOOTSTEPS] 1210 00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:39,750 [SUDDEN MUSICAL INTENSITY] 1211 00:58:46,891 --> 00:58:48,759 [METALLIC SWISH] 1212 00:58:48,793 --> 00:58:50,227 - [GASPS] - [BEEP] 1213 00:58:52,963 --> 00:58:55,132 Okay. So Brad's dead. 1214 00:58:55,165 --> 00:58:57,802 Brad was the weak link of the bunch. 1215 00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:01,572 And I'm surprised he didn't die first. Really. 1216 00:59:01,606 --> 00:59:03,173 You know this is just a bunch of scenes 1217 00:59:03,207 --> 00:59:05,943 that don't really have a story to hold them together. 1218 00:59:05,976 --> 00:59:08,145 Well. They're trying to get the power turned back on. 1219 00:59:08,178 --> 00:59:10,848 That's a plot point. It's not a story. 1220 00:59:10,881 --> 00:59:12,950 Why does the power go out? 1221 00:59:12,983 --> 00:59:15,185 What's that got to do with the rest of the movie? 1222 00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,354 Oh God. That means we have to come up 1223 00:59:17,387 --> 00:59:19,624 With the whole story? 1224 00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:22,126 What do you mean "we"? 1225 00:59:22,159 --> 00:59:23,360 You mean each one of us individually. 1226 00:59:23,393 --> 00:59:25,896 And the one that Bosley likes best. 1227 00:59:25,930 --> 00:59:27,765 That's what he's going to pick. 1228 00:59:27,798 --> 00:59:31,268 And you two are going to be shit out of luck. 1229 00:59:31,301 --> 00:59:33,370 Well I'm still not convinced this not the real deal. 1230 00:59:33,403 --> 00:59:37,007 Come on. Ellen just put all those ideas in your head. 1231 00:59:37,041 --> 00:59:39,143 I've seen episodes of Bewitched with 1232 00:59:39,176 --> 00:59:41,612 better makeup effects than that. 1233 00:59:41,646 --> 00:59:44,715 I didn't put any idea in anybody's head. 1234 00:59:44,749 --> 00:59:47,384 It's not my fault that Alexis is gullible. 1235 00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:50,020 You mean you weren't telling the truth? 1236 00:59:50,054 --> 00:59:51,255 The story really happened. 1237 00:59:51,288 --> 00:59:53,190 I didn't make that up. 1238 00:59:53,223 --> 00:59:55,893 Enough about the goddamn snuff movie! 1239 00:59:55,926 --> 00:59:57,261 Okay? 1240 00:59:57,294 --> 00:59:59,730 Let's just worry about this movie. 1241 00:59:59,764 --> 01:00:01,699 Fine! So where were we? 1242 01:00:01,732 --> 01:00:04,301 We have to come up with a story and a plot-line from scratch? 1243 01:00:04,334 --> 01:00:08,005 Well you'd have to come up all the stuff between the kills. 1244 01:00:08,038 --> 01:00:10,875 Like... Is this place haunted? 1245 01:00:10,908 --> 01:00:12,843 Was it built over a burial ground? 1246 01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:16,781 Why does everybody have to die? 1247 01:00:16,814 --> 01:00:18,916 Does it have to be a burial ground? 1248 01:00:18,949 --> 01:00:20,317 Ghosts are really hot right now. 1249 01:00:20,350 --> 01:00:22,219 It's a ghost. 1250 01:00:22,252 --> 01:00:24,989 You think Bosley's going to pay for a CGI ghost? 1251 01:00:25,022 --> 01:00:28,392 It's a lame idea! 1252 01:00:28,425 --> 01:00:31,195 I think the old gypsy woman is a werewolf, 1253 01:00:31,228 --> 01:00:34,799 and she has werewolf powers. 1254 01:00:34,832 --> 01:00:36,934 And so when the frat boys go to kill her, 1255 01:00:36,967 --> 01:00:39,036 they can't! 1256 01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:40,971 Yeah. Except why would a werewolf be wearing 1257 01:00:41,005 --> 01:00:44,174 black gloves and stabbing people with a knife? 1258 01:00:45,075 --> 01:00:47,878 Maybe she's edgy? 1259 01:00:47,912 --> 01:00:50,380 Well. While you two come up with more stupid ideas. 1260 01:00:50,414 --> 01:00:52,316 I'm going to go powder my nose. 1261 01:00:52,349 --> 01:00:55,052 I thought you got clean ten years ago. 1262 01:00:55,085 --> 01:00:56,821 Don't be crude. 1263 01:00:59,089 --> 01:01:01,859 I'm starting up the movie again! 1264 01:01:01,892 --> 01:01:04,061 Fine by me! 1265 01:01:04,094 --> 01:01:07,965 If you ask me, Chad's going to be the next one to die! 1266 01:01:12,002 --> 01:01:13,103 [BEEP] 1267 01:01:13,137 --> 01:01:15,172 [EERIE MUSIC] 1268 01:01:38,428 --> 01:01:40,965 [FOOTSTEPS] 1269 01:01:54,378 --> 01:01:55,479 [GASP] 1270 01:01:55,512 --> 01:01:57,147 [METALLIC SWISH] 1271 01:01:58,282 --> 01:01:59,850 [PIERCING STAB, MUFFLED GROAN] 1272 01:02:00,785 --> 01:02:03,888 [FOOTSTEPS] 1273 01:02:07,024 --> 01:02:08,358 Hi! 1274 01:02:08,392 --> 01:02:10,360 This is Bosley's old secret passageway. 1275 01:02:10,394 --> 01:02:12,229 To hide from debt collectors, 1276 01:02:12,262 --> 01:02:14,198 and paternity suits and that! 1277 01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:16,466 But what are you doing here? 1278 01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:19,336 I was about to ask you the same thing. 1279 01:02:19,369 --> 01:02:21,105 Uh. Yeah... I was, uh... 1280 01:02:21,138 --> 01:02:22,973 I was going to call my manager. 1281 01:02:23,007 --> 01:02:24,441 Or calling Bosley, 1282 01:02:24,474 --> 01:02:26,944 to swing the vote in your favor? 1283 01:02:26,977 --> 01:02:28,345 [EXASPERATED SIGH] Be serious. 1284 01:02:28,378 --> 01:02:30,180 He's probably up in the projection room 1285 01:02:30,214 --> 01:02:31,916 getting drunk right now. 1286 01:02:31,949 --> 01:02:33,851 We'll be lucky if he can even form a complete sentence 1287 01:02:33,884 --> 01:02:35,485 by the time we talk to him. 1288 01:02:35,519 --> 01:02:38,022 Look. I know you want this role. 1289 01:02:38,055 --> 01:02:39,857 I want this role. 1290 01:02:39,890 --> 01:02:42,960 We've had our differences. But let's let them be settled. 1291 01:02:42,993 --> 01:02:47,197 I think that Ellen is setting us up. 1292 01:02:47,231 --> 01:02:49,333 Hmm... 1293 01:02:49,366 --> 01:02:51,368 I don't think she's that smart. 1294 01:02:51,401 --> 01:02:53,370 Or maybe she's playing us for chumps. 1295 01:02:53,403 --> 01:02:56,206 All that talk about her getting here. 1296 01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:57,908 And getting here first. 1297 01:02:57,942 --> 01:02:59,877 And... And that talk about the boyfriend 1298 01:02:59,910 --> 01:03:01,511 and the snuff movies. 1299 01:03:01,545 --> 01:03:02,913 Oh please. 1300 01:03:02,947 --> 01:03:05,449 According to her, she did the entire crew 1301 01:03:05,482 --> 01:03:08,152 on the set of Kramer vs. Kramer, 1302 01:03:08,185 --> 01:03:11,521 when she was a one-day extra on the set. [SCOFFS] 1303 01:03:11,555 --> 01:03:14,324 Stop being a super-bitch for, like, five minutes! 1304 01:03:14,358 --> 01:03:17,327 You know, all those weird vibes in the air. 1305 01:03:17,361 --> 01:03:20,064 They're all coming from Ellen. 1306 01:03:20,097 --> 01:03:22,232 I think she's trying to get in our head. 1307 01:03:22,266 --> 01:03:25,069 Well, I am going to go back in there, 1308 01:03:25,102 --> 01:03:27,872 and I am going to come up with a kick-ass idea. 1309 01:03:27,905 --> 01:03:30,507 And I am going to get that role. 1310 01:03:30,540 --> 01:03:33,543 Oh. The "old gypsy lady" role? 1311 01:03:33,577 --> 01:03:37,114 It's not going to be a gypsy lady! 1312 01:03:37,147 --> 01:03:40,184 [FOOTSTEPS] 1313 01:03:40,217 --> 01:03:43,220 [ORGAN MUSIC] 1314 01:03:44,421 --> 01:03:51,361 [FOOTSTEPS] 1315 01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:06,576 [BEEP] 1316 01:04:11,681 --> 01:04:13,517 Did you two have fun? 1317 01:04:13,550 --> 01:04:15,886 Oh. Loads. 1318 01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:19,223 So. What did we miss when we were gone? 1319 01:04:19,256 --> 01:04:21,425 Sylvia was right. Chad got killed. 1320 01:04:21,458 --> 01:04:23,427 [LAUGHING] I told you! 1321 01:04:23,460 --> 01:04:24,628 Name symmetry! 1322 01:04:24,661 --> 01:04:27,164 If you kill Brad, then you pretty much have to kill Chad! 1323 01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:29,466 Oh. Terrible! 1324 01:04:29,499 --> 01:04:31,335 Well I didn't write it! 1325 01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:34,138 Any ideas? 1326 01:04:34,171 --> 01:04:35,906 I think everybody's going to get killed. 1327 01:04:35,940 --> 01:04:37,674 So this movie has no hero. 1328 01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:39,944 You mean "a protagonist". 1329 01:04:39,977 --> 01:04:41,345 No. A hero. 1330 01:04:41,378 --> 01:04:43,347 Everybody who wrote and starred in 1331 01:04:43,380 --> 01:04:45,082 Leather Mutant 4 ', raise your hand. 1332 01:04:45,115 --> 01:04:48,152 No? 1333 01:04:48,185 --> 01:04:50,354 Then don't correct me. Okay? Thanks. 1334 01:04:50,387 --> 01:04:53,457 But the movie has no hero, so the plot has nowhere to go. 1335 01:04:53,490 --> 01:04:57,361 Then, the female lead is the hero. 1336 01:04:57,394 --> 01:05:00,998 Well, where in the is there room for a female lead? 1337 01:05:01,031 --> 01:05:02,666 The old gypsy woman! 1338 01:05:02,699 --> 01:05:04,268 She's the hero! 1339 01:05:04,301 --> 01:05:07,037 She's the killer! 1340 01:05:07,071 --> 01:05:08,705 Or we just make up a new character, 1341 01:05:08,738 --> 01:05:11,408 which is pretty much the whole point of this. 1342 01:05:11,441 --> 01:05:14,211 New character. And the story revolves around her. 1343 01:05:14,244 --> 01:05:16,580 A female detective! 1344 01:05:16,613 --> 01:05:18,082 - A frat-boy mom! - [GASP] 1345 01:05:18,115 --> 01:05:19,716 Older sister... 1346 01:05:19,749 --> 01:05:22,386 And she figures the whole thing out in the end. 1347 01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:23,954 And she ends up with Biff. 1348 01:05:24,488 --> 01:05:25,990 [SIGH] 1349 01:05:26,023 --> 01:05:27,291 Okay. To be honest, 1350 01:05:27,324 --> 01:05:29,493 this isn't grabbing me. 1351 01:05:29,526 --> 01:05:32,529 Biff's the killer! It's a twist ending. 1352 01:05:32,562 --> 01:05:37,167 Let's just watch the next scene and see if he gets it. 1353 01:05:46,610 --> 01:05:48,178 [BEEP] 1354 01:05:48,212 --> 01:05:49,513 [MYSTERIOUS MUSIC] 1355 01:06:08,632 --> 01:06:11,568 [CHAOTIC BASS LINE] 1356 01:06:44,568 --> 01:06:46,536 [SOMBRE PIANO MUSIC] 1357 01:07:02,519 --> 01:07:05,055 [INTENSE CRESCENDO] 1358 01:07:06,256 --> 01:07:07,491 [MUSIC STOPS SUDDENLY] 1359 01:07:08,625 --> 01:07:10,094 [METALLIC SWISH] 1360 01:07:10,127 --> 01:07:12,129 [BEEP] 1361 01:07:12,162 --> 01:07:16,233 [SIGHS] So Clyde's dead. Biff has to be the killer. 1362 01:07:16,266 --> 01:07:18,535 No. I disagree... Um... 1363 01:07:18,568 --> 01:07:22,606 Because Biff was the moral center of the movie. 1364 01:07:22,639 --> 01:07:25,209 He was the rock. 1365 01:07:25,242 --> 01:07:28,112 It could be misdirection. Right? 1366 01:07:28,145 --> 01:07:31,615 I mean you think Biff is this, just, great guy, and then, "Bam!" 1367 01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:34,651 He turns into a killer. 1368 01:07:34,684 --> 01:07:36,686 I can always rewrite the ending so that Biff's the killer. 1369 01:07:36,720 --> 01:07:38,688 It's no big deal. 1370 01:07:38,722 --> 01:07:40,390 Yeah. It is no big deal, 1371 01:07:40,424 --> 01:07:42,292 because I am going to rewrite the ending. 1372 01:07:42,326 --> 01:07:44,194 Where I play the female detective, 1373 01:07:44,228 --> 01:07:46,496 and I save Biff from the old gypsy lady. 1374 01:07:46,530 --> 01:07:49,433 The old gypsy lady. 1375 01:07:49,466 --> 01:07:51,101 She comes in, 1376 01:07:51,135 --> 01:07:52,669 and she says a spell or something. 1377 01:07:52,702 --> 01:07:54,404 And then... And then... 1378 01:07:54,438 --> 01:07:55,772 I don't know. I can fix it in post. 1379 01:07:57,174 --> 01:08:00,177 I have actual writing experience. 1380 01:08:00,210 --> 01:08:03,147 Not according to Rotten Tomatoes. You don't. 1381 01:08:03,180 --> 01:08:07,251 And quit rubbing our faces in that crap. 1382 01:08:07,284 --> 01:08:09,519 I mean nobody even saw it! 1383 01:08:09,553 --> 01:08:12,189 The franchise was dead after part three! 1384 01:08:12,222 --> 01:08:15,192 Let's just finish watching this. 1385 01:08:15,225 --> 01:08:16,860 You guys are just giving me a headache! 1386 01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:23,500 [BEEP] 1387 01:08:25,235 --> 01:08:27,704 [SCARY MUSIC] 1388 01:08:30,207 --> 01:08:33,410 [FOOTSTEPS] 1389 01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:53,230 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC] 1390 01:08:53,263 --> 01:08:55,632 Hey I found a flashlight! 1391 01:08:55,665 --> 01:08:57,534 Now I can see my way around this place. 1392 01:08:57,567 --> 01:09:00,404 Flashlights! What about these goddamn flashlights? 1393 01:09:00,837 --> 01:09:01,905 [METALLIC SWISH] 1394 01:09:01,938 --> 01:09:03,273 [GASPS] 1395 01:09:03,307 --> 01:09:05,275 - [STABBING SOUND] - [BEEP] 1396 01:09:05,309 --> 01:09:06,743 [SIGHS] So... 1397 01:09:06,776 --> 01:09:10,214 How are we going to fix that? 1398 01:09:10,247 --> 01:09:11,415 I know how. 1399 01:09:11,448 --> 01:09:13,383 We bring Biff back. 1400 01:09:13,417 --> 01:09:15,219 The older sister shows up. 1401 01:09:15,252 --> 01:09:16,753 She thinks he's dead. 1402 01:09:16,786 --> 01:09:18,388 She wrestles with the killer, 1403 01:09:18,422 --> 01:09:20,857 rips off his gypsy lady mask. 1404 01:09:20,890 --> 01:09:22,492 And boom! It's B.J. 1405 01:09:22,526 --> 01:09:24,494 What? 1406 01:09:24,528 --> 01:09:25,929 B.J. Is the killer? But... 1407 01:09:25,962 --> 01:09:27,697 I thought he died second. 1408 01:09:27,731 --> 01:09:29,366 No. Nobody dies. 1409 01:09:29,399 --> 01:09:31,268 It turns out they pull an April Fool's Day 1410 01:09:31,301 --> 01:09:33,270 on the audience. 1411 01:09:33,303 --> 01:09:34,538 Some crazy murder mystery thing. 1412 01:09:34,571 --> 01:09:36,440 First, Biff plays the killer. 1413 01:09:36,473 --> 01:09:38,542 Then, B.J. plays the killer. 1414 01:09:38,575 --> 01:09:40,344 They pretend to get murdered. 1415 01:09:40,377 --> 01:09:43,547 The older sister thinks it's real the whole time. 1416 01:09:43,580 --> 01:09:44,581 But she's just getting pranked. 1417 01:09:45,549 --> 01:09:48,218 Oh it's the old double twist. 1418 01:09:48,252 --> 01:09:49,719 That works! 1419 01:09:49,753 --> 01:09:53,290 Yeah. Okay, but now that we know the best ending, 1420 01:09:53,323 --> 01:09:55,359 who gets the job and who doesn't? 1421 01:09:55,392 --> 01:09:57,727 Well. We all do. 1422 01:09:57,761 --> 01:09:59,463 You play the gypsy, 1423 01:09:59,496 --> 01:10:01,431 I'll play the detective. 1424 01:10:01,465 --> 01:10:02,999 And you play the frat-mom! 1425 01:10:03,032 --> 01:10:04,501 Older sister. 1426 01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:06,303 We'll hash that one out. 1427 01:10:06,336 --> 01:10:07,771 Let's go talk to Bosley. 1428 01:10:07,804 --> 01:10:08,872 Yes! 1429 01:10:11,508 --> 01:10:12,876 Bosley, we figured it out! 1430 01:10:12,909 --> 01:10:14,378 We're going to... 1431 01:10:14,411 --> 01:10:16,980 [EERIE MUSIC] 1432 01:10:17,013 --> 01:10:18,515 Oh my God! 1433 01:10:18,548 --> 01:10:21,318 He must have put together that silhouette... 1434 01:10:21,351 --> 01:10:22,886 While we were distracted! 1435 01:10:23,920 --> 01:10:25,922 Oh man...! 1436 01:10:25,955 --> 01:10:27,991 He must have gone out for a drink! 1437 01:10:30,460 --> 01:10:32,729 - He was never here. - [CLICK] 1438 01:10:32,762 --> 01:10:34,898 BOSLEY'S VOICE: Sylvia. Alexis, Ellen, 1439 01:10:34,931 --> 01:10:37,033 I really want to thank you for coming out today. 1440 01:10:37,066 --> 01:10:39,636 You're three of the most well-known and respected 1441 01:10:39,669 --> 01:10:41,671 B-movie actresses in the world. 1442 01:10:41,705 --> 01:10:43,840 He had to be here at some point! 1443 01:10:43,873 --> 01:10:46,376 He has the keys to open up the place. 1444 01:10:46,410 --> 01:10:48,412 And he had to press "Play" on the tape recorder! 1445 01:10:48,445 --> 01:10:50,914 So he has to be here someplace! 1446 01:10:50,947 --> 01:10:54,784 Maybe this is a test. We have to find him? 1447 01:10:54,818 --> 01:10:56,653 This is a hell-of-a-lot of trouble 1448 01:10:56,686 --> 01:11:00,990 to get some free writing for a B-movie slasher film. 1449 01:11:01,525 --> 01:11:02,659 Okay. 1450 01:11:02,692 --> 01:11:04,027 All bets are off. 1451 01:11:04,060 --> 01:11:05,762 Whoever finds Bosley first, 1452 01:11:05,795 --> 01:11:08,031 gives him the pitch and gets the role. 1453 01:11:08,064 --> 01:11:09,533 Let's go for it! 1454 01:11:09,566 --> 01:11:10,867 I can run pretty fast in these heels. 1455 01:11:11,635 --> 01:11:13,002 Oh! 1456 01:11:38,462 --> 01:11:39,896 BOSLEY: Hello? 1457 01:11:39,929 --> 01:11:41,331 Hi, Bosley. It's me. 1458 01:11:41,365 --> 01:11:42,666 Sylvia! What's up, lady? 1459 01:11:42,699 --> 01:11:44,801 Well, I took that spare key that you gave me, 1460 01:11:44,834 --> 01:11:47,804 and I came down to the studio to sit with Death Frat for a while. 1461 01:11:47,837 --> 01:11:49,105 BOSLEY: And? 1462 01:11:49,138 --> 01:11:50,840 Well I think I came up with the perfect ending 1463 01:11:50,874 --> 01:11:52,241 to the movie that you wanted. 1464 01:11:52,275 --> 01:11:55,078 BOSLEY: So, we're still on for our big meeting tomorrow? 1465 01:11:55,111 --> 01:11:57,647 Yes, indeed. I'll go over it with you then. 1466 01:11:57,681 --> 01:11:58,882 I think you're going to love it. 1467 01:11:59,683 --> 01:12:01,485 - Ciao! - BOSLEY: Ta-ta! 1468 01:12:08,958 --> 01:12:10,560 [METALLIC SWISH] 1469 01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:21,438 I know the perfect ending to the movie. 1470 01:12:21,471 --> 01:12:25,074 I call Alexis' and Ellen's' agents... 1471 01:12:25,108 --> 01:12:28,378 pretending to be Bosley. 1472 01:12:28,412 --> 01:12:31,748 I tell them to come down here today, for something really big. 1473 01:12:32,849 --> 01:12:34,951 I get here early. 1474 01:12:34,984 --> 01:12:36,553 [LAUGHING] 1475 01:12:36,586 --> 01:12:38,922 I open up the place. 1476 01:12:39,856 --> 01:12:42,826 I set everything up... 1477 01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:44,761 And then I record a little something 1478 01:12:44,794 --> 01:12:47,631 With the best phone app ever. 1479 01:12:47,664 --> 01:12:49,566 [DEVIOUS LAUGHTER] 1480 01:12:49,599 --> 01:12:51,535 Hello, ladies. 1481 01:12:52,569 --> 01:12:54,904 I pretend to show up late... 1482 01:12:54,938 --> 01:12:58,742 Oh. And then I make like I don't have a clue what's happening. 1483 01:12:58,775 --> 01:13:01,945 And I get Ellen and Alexis to brainstorm 1484 01:13:01,978 --> 01:13:04,180 the perfect ending for me. 1485 01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:05,882 We split up, looking for Bosley... 1486 01:13:06,850 --> 01:13:08,418 [CHORTLING] 1487 01:13:13,089 --> 01:13:15,859 And I take out the competition! 1488 01:13:15,892 --> 01:13:18,762 [LAUGHING MANIACALLY] 1489 01:13:20,029 --> 01:13:22,666 Oh. I hate you guys. 1490 01:13:22,699 --> 01:13:25,569 [LAUGHING] 1491 01:13:40,116 --> 01:13:41,951 [FOOTSTEPS] 1492 01:13:43,587 --> 01:13:45,455 [POP MUSIC]