1
00:00:34,903 --> 00:00:35,777
是人嗎

2
00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:37,246
這麼小

3
00:00:39,866 --> 00:00:41,876
你們捅我腳心幹嘛

4
00:00:42,035 --> 00:00:45,245
唐僧唐僧　這邊這邊

5
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:45,996
唐僧

6
00:00:45,997 --> 00:00:47,507
這邊啊

7
00:00:48,333 --> 00:00:50,635
看你睡了這麼久　就叫醒你

8
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,137
現在你醒了就好了

9
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,139
我們有好消息

10
00:00:55,381 --> 00:00:57,475
對不起

11
00:00:58,468 --> 00:00:59,426
對不起

12
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:00,552
對不起

13
00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:04,056
唐僧　我們有個天大的好消息

14
00:01:04,057 --> 00:01:06,850
要告訴你　恭喜你

15
00:01:06,851 --> 00:01:08,268
你終於來到

16
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,063
你夢寐以求的目的地了

17
00:01:11,064 --> 00:01:12,105
這裏是天竺嗎

18
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,866
沒錯

19
00:01:14,192 --> 00:01:15,827
天竺

20
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:18,654
我終於來到目的地了

21
00:01:18,655 --> 00:01:21,082
對不起

22
00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:26,879
師父

23
00:01:29,999 --> 00:01:31,968
你也這麼小

24
00:01:39,217 --> 00:01:42,019
師父　你怎麼也在天竺

25
00:01:42,262 --> 00:01:45,138
玄奘　你果然不負眾望

26
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,807
你要的那二十二本經書

27
00:01:46,808 --> 00:01:50,519
已經為你準備好　放在那十輛馬車上

28
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:51,937
你喜歡就拿去

29
00:01:51,938 --> 00:01:54,240
千萬不要客氣

30
00:01:54,732 --> 00:01:57,276
不過我今天來的主要目的

31
00:01:57,277 --> 00:01:59,194
是想頒個獎給你

32
00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:00,362
什麼獎　師父

33
00:02:00,363 --> 00:02:02,665
終身成就獎

34
00:02:13,042 --> 00:02:15,011
試一下

35
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:18,097
怎麼好意思呢

36
00:02:20,216 --> 00:02:21,550
我好喜歡

37
00:02:21,551 --> 00:02:23,260
你想低調還是氣派

38
00:02:23,261 --> 00:02:25,313
可以自己控制

39
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,649
左邊有光出來了　你適應得很快

40
00:02:28,933 --> 00:02:31,768
你看　右邊也亮了　真不得了

41
00:02:31,769 --> 00:02:33,770
快說兩句獲獎感言

42
00:02:33,771 --> 00:02:35,448
好　我想想

43
00:02:38,151 --> 00:02:39,443
師父

44
00:02:39,444 --> 00:02:40,819
什麼事

45
00:02:40,820 --> 00:02:42,788
好玩吧

46
00:03:04,761 --> 00:03:07,137
和尚　你再掙不到錢

47
00:03:07,138 --> 00:03:08,564
班主要趕你走了

48
00:03:08,931 --> 00:03:10,650
我知道了

49
00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:16,980
盲人飛刀　獨臂倒立　胸口碎石

50
00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:20,660
走過路過　千萬不要錯過

51
00:03:26,491 --> 00:03:30,628
西遊路上應急客串

52
00:03:31,454 --> 00:03:32,954
豬　魚　猴

53
00:03:32,955 --> 00:03:35,591
精彩表演

54
00:03:35,708 --> 00:03:39,503
優惠期兩文錢一位

55
00:03:39,504 --> 00:03:41,380
半價　幫你開張

56
00:03:41,381 --> 00:03:43,131
買一送一

57
00:03:43,132 --> 00:03:44,383
好吧　就這樣

58
00:03:44,384 --> 00:03:45,810
謝謝

59
00:03:46,511 --> 00:03:48,187
過來看看吧

60
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:51,565
天蓬元帥　豬八戒

61
00:03:52,725 --> 00:03:53,734
女人

62
00:03:56,729 --> 00:03:58,689
你叫什麼名字　今年幾歲

63
00:03:58,690 --> 00:04:00,148
神經病

64
00:04:00,149 --> 00:04:01,400
捲簾大將

65
00:04:01,401 --> 00:04:03,911
流沙河大魚怪　沙悟淨

66
00:04:16,374 --> 00:04:18,592
嚇到小孩子了　你真缺德

67
00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:19,885
退錢

68
00:04:20,962 --> 00:04:22,170
退錢

69
00:04:22,171 --> 00:04:24,098
你還要賠償我的損失

70
00:04:25,174 --> 00:04:26,642
賠錢

71
00:04:29,053 --> 00:04:30,220
你再給我一次機會

72
00:04:30,221 --> 00:04:31,138
我還有好東西

73
00:04:31,139 --> 00:04:32,398
滿意就扯平

74
00:04:32,849 --> 00:04:34,015
不滿意的話

75
00:04:34,016 --> 00:04:36,318
這裏所有人都得賠雙倍

76
00:04:37,437 --> 00:04:38,821
好

77
00:04:39,522 --> 00:04:42,450
美猴王齊天大聖

78
00:04:49,866 --> 00:04:51,542
假的　賠錢

79
00:04:52,577 --> 00:04:54,661
悟空　你翻兩個跟斗吧

80
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:56,797
全場賠雙倍我們就掛了

81
00:05:09,010 --> 00:05:10,770
多謝施捨

82
00:05:10,928 --> 00:05:12,229
這些都是可以吃的

83
00:05:12,847 --> 00:05:14,315
先撿起來

84
00:05:15,016 --> 00:05:16,892
班主　這個人裝神弄鬼

85
00:05:16,893 --> 00:05:19,853
看他樣子肯定賠不起　趕他走吧

86
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:22,364
你怎麼出來走江湖的　滾

87
00:05:25,610 --> 00:05:27,828
施主　我們不是走江湖的

88
00:05:27,904 --> 00:05:29,070
是出家人

89
00:05:29,071 --> 00:05:31,832
因為一路長途跋涉　又沒有吃的

90
00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:33,834
再加上我有病

91
00:05:35,161 --> 00:05:36,369
在身

92
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,080
已經很多天沒吃東西了

93
00:05:39,081 --> 00:05:41,425
那麼可憐　來

94
00:05:42,835 --> 00:05:44,678
這兩個包

95
00:05:44,754 --> 00:05:45,712
是用來給那些

96
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,798
真正值得幫助的正義之士

97
00:05:47,799 --> 00:05:49,517
你覺得自己配嗎

98
00:05:49,842 --> 00:05:51,343
我們真的是來自東土大唐的

99
00:05:51,344 --> 00:05:53,521
驅魔團隊啊

100
00:05:54,263 --> 00:05:57,942
悟空　你露兩手給大家看看

101
00:06:13,783 --> 00:06:15,167
打我

102
00:06:15,827 --> 00:06:17,244
打我

103
00:06:17,245 --> 00:06:18,879
不太好吧　大師兄

104
00:06:19,121 --> 00:06:21,465
打你　我不就是自殺

105
00:06:21,999 --> 00:06:23,759
那我打你吧

106
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,137
我更加不建議啊　大師兄

107
00:06:26,254 --> 00:06:28,389
死就死吧　我打你

108
00:06:32,635 --> 00:06:34,094
大師兄你好硬啊

109
00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:36,513
我整條手臂都被你震斷了

110
00:06:36,514 --> 00:06:39,108
小子　你們還要不要臉啊

111
00:06:39,684 --> 00:06:40,767
請你看下去再說

112
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:42,394
也請你不要再捅我

113
00:06:42,395 --> 00:06:43,529
我就捅

114
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:49,368
打我　師父說表演

115
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,745
好餓啊　沒力氣

116
00:06:52,071 --> 00:06:53,497
再捅

117
00:06:54,073 --> 00:06:56,366
你這個混蛋　餓就不用幹活嗎

118
00:06:56,367 --> 00:06:57,909
打我　混蛋

119
00:06:57,910 --> 00:06:59,452
聽說有一夥假裝驅魔人的賊

120
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,163
坑蒙拐騙　還打傷了很多人

121
00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:03,632
肯定是你吧　老弟

122
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,166
是小弟做的

123
00:07:05,167 --> 00:07:08,211
只是我的徒弟　用力過度誤傷無辜

124
00:07:08,212 --> 00:07:10,431
臭不要臉的　你吹牛吹大點

125
00:07:23,603 --> 00:07:25,437
露一手就夠了

126
00:07:25,438 --> 00:07:27,031
謝幕吧

127
00:07:32,987 --> 00:07:34,288
可以收隊了

128
00:07:35,865 --> 00:07:38,250
真的好性感啊

129
00:07:38,284 --> 00:07:39,919
我來幫你去去火

130
00:07:41,329 --> 00:07:42,954
救命啊

131
00:07:42,955 --> 00:07:44,789
悟空　你還趴著幹嗎

132
00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:46,508
快把它搞定

133
00:08:17,239 --> 00:08:19,866
不好意思　我們真的已經收隊了

134
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,576
剛才那幾下是送的

135
00:08:21,577 --> 00:08:22,619
兄台

136
00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:26,298
你一舉手一投足都光芒四射

137
00:08:26,457 --> 00:08:28,959
什麼話也不說了　你拿著這串葫蘆

138
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,460
咱們以後就是兄弟了

139
00:08:30,461 --> 00:08:34,005
你誤會了　他們力氣有多大你都看見了

140
00:08:34,006 --> 00:08:36,183
就是經常控制不了

141
00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:39,594
其實我們真的是幫人驅魔的

142
00:08:39,595 --> 00:08:40,688
當然　當然

143
00:08:41,681 --> 00:08:44,275
悟空　收拾好就過來道歉

144
00:08:52,441 --> 00:08:53,909
把箍撿起來

145
00:08:57,738 --> 00:08:59,123
戴好

146
00:09:00,825 --> 00:09:02,543
戴正

147
00:09:03,119 --> 00:09:04,878
在戴了

148
00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,590
咬著樹枝說話很酷嗎　臭猴子

149
00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:12,720
你不喜歡就不咬吧

150
00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:17,891
不要叫我臭猴子行不行

151
00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:20,510
我叫又怎樣　臭猴子

152
00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:21,261
臭猴子

153
00:09:21,262 --> 00:09:22,637
臭猴子

154
00:09:22,638 --> 00:09:24,231
你牛

155
00:09:24,265 --> 00:09:27,225
你有種就再說一次

156
00:09:27,226 --> 00:09:28,518
我好害怕啊

157
00:09:28,519 --> 00:09:30,687
真的好恐怖　想嚇死人嗎

158
00:09:30,688 --> 00:09:32,531
你們怕不怕啊

159
00:09:40,239 --> 00:09:42,282
罵他兩句就發脾氣

160
00:09:42,283 --> 00:09:44,034
這種人慣不得

161
00:09:44,035 --> 00:09:45,910
我們一起大聲罵他

162
00:09:45,911 --> 00:09:47,996
一　二　三

163
00:09:47,997 --> 00:09:51,008
臭猴子

164
00:09:55,755 --> 00:09:57,047
（孩子　孩子）

165
00:09:57,048 --> 00:10:00,559
（為何你這麼壞）

166
00:10:01,177 --> 00:10:02,635
（欺負　欺騙）

167
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:06,097
（為何你做出來）

168
00:10:06,098 --> 00:10:08,484
（學會做好小孩）

169
00:10:08,893 --> 00:10:10,944
（相親相愛）

170
00:10:11,729 --> 00:10:14,439
（關懷就在心中）

171
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,617
（充滿色彩）

172
00:10:17,902 --> 00:10:19,903
（乖乖）

173
00:10:19,904 --> 00:10:23,406
（你快回來）

174
00:10:23,407 --> 00:10:25,793
（我懷抱）

175
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,747
（乖乖）

176
00:10:30,748 --> 00:10:33,917
（要真心悔改）

177
00:10:33,918 --> 00:10:38,555
（原來人性都是善良像小）

178
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:52,185
老板　我們做小生意的

179
00:10:52,186 --> 00:10:55,155
連內褲都翻出來也就那麼多

180
00:10:55,356 --> 00:10:57,398
如果你還嫌不夠的話

181
00:10:57,399 --> 00:10:59,818
我們全家就只能死在你面前

182
00:10:59,819 --> 00:11:01,412
打住

183
00:11:01,779 --> 00:11:05,374
第一　我不是來勒索的

184
00:11:05,407 --> 00:11:06,875
第二

185
00:11:07,326 --> 00:11:09,336
我也沒話可說了

186
00:12:07,595 --> 00:12:12,608
《西遊伏妖篇》

187
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:25,778
令壽堂什麼時候開始

188
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,197
變成這樣的

189
00:12:27,198 --> 00:12:28,823
都好幾天了

190
00:12:28,824 --> 00:12:30,200
不知道為什麼

191
00:12:30,201 --> 00:12:32,035
自從我們搬進來之後

192
00:12:32,036 --> 00:12:33,712
她就開始胡言亂語

193
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:37,424
一靠近

194
00:12:37,917 --> 00:12:41,303
就發瘋地抓我　連我也認不出來

195
00:12:41,879 --> 00:12:43,880
我也不知道她為什麼會變成這樣

196
00:12:43,881 --> 00:12:46,391
我都已經心力交瘁了

197
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:48,468
還好有我兩個女兒

198
00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:50,771
幫我照顧娘親

199
00:12:52,389 --> 00:12:54,816
真是辛苦她們了

200
00:12:55,226 --> 00:12:56,893
她們是你女兒

201
00:12:56,894 --> 00:12:58,529
乾女兒

202
00:12:58,687 --> 00:12:59,771
今年幾歲啊

203
00:12:59,772 --> 00:13:01,114
剛滿十六歲

204
00:13:01,523 --> 00:13:03,825
看上去有些憔悴

205
00:13:04,318 --> 00:13:06,194
最近太忙才變成這樣

206
00:13:06,195 --> 00:13:07,779
她們本來是很標緻的

207
00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:09,581
這麼可怕

208
00:13:09,865 --> 00:13:12,242
婆婆　你先吃口粥吧

209
00:13:12,243 --> 00:13:15,379
你一整天沒吃飯了

210
00:13:15,454 --> 00:13:17,256
又來了

211
00:13:19,792 --> 00:13:21,260
娘親　你怎麼了

212
00:13:23,045 --> 00:13:24,471
娘親　娘親

213
00:13:24,797 --> 00:13:27,349
娘親　是我　你冷靜點

214
00:13:32,638 --> 00:13:33,596
照妖鏡　快點

215
00:13:33,597 --> 00:13:34,648
來了

216
00:13:35,057 --> 00:13:36,474
萬神朝禮使雷霆

217
00:13:36,475 --> 00:13:38,819
妖魔鬼怪無遁形

218
00:13:39,687 --> 00:13:41,321
現形

219
00:13:45,359 --> 00:13:47,911
妖魔鬼怪無遁形

220
00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:55,836
難道沒有妖怪

221
00:13:56,745 --> 00:14:00,090
可是我聞到整個房子都是屍臭味

222
00:14:00,541 --> 00:14:02,718
一定有妖怪　如果不是她

223
00:14:03,085 --> 00:14:05,429
那可能是她有陰陽眼

224
00:14:05,838 --> 00:14:08,089
她看到別人是妖怪

225
00:14:08,090 --> 00:14:10,017
就嚇成這個鬼樣

226
00:14:10,676 --> 00:14:13,103
難道是　她兩個女兒

227
00:14:15,973 --> 00:14:18,308
她們倆我忍了好久

228
00:14:18,309 --> 00:14:20,652
妖魔鬼怪無遁形

229
00:14:23,772 --> 00:14:26,825
你照得我們眼睛都睜不開了

230
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,660
也不是她們

231
00:14:30,362 --> 00:14:32,164
難道

232
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:43,592
大閘蟹

233
00:14:56,764 --> 00:14:59,232
你這隻臭猴子

234
00:15:01,894 --> 00:15:03,570
臭猴子

235
00:15:07,024 --> 00:15:09,660
臭猴子

236
00:15:14,031 --> 00:15:15,198
你看

237
00:15:15,199 --> 00:15:17,793
師父的藤條今天真的很厲害

238
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:21,037
這藤條曾經困了大師兄五百年

239
00:15:21,038 --> 00:15:22,964
很厲害的

240
00:15:38,055 --> 00:15:39,731
你明知他們倆是變態的

241
00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:41,432
你為什麼不喝止他們

242
00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:43,142
你叫我表演

243
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,310
我就表演了

244
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:45,812
表什麼演

245
00:15:45,813 --> 00:15:47,021
我讓你這麼演嗎

246
00:15:47,022 --> 00:15:48,949
你又搞得人家破人亡

247
00:15:49,191 --> 00:15:51,275
那你就不要叫我臭猴子

248
00:15:51,276 --> 00:15:55,029
你明知我一聽見臭猴子就發火

249
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:57,657
師父叫你臭猴子是無心之失

250
00:15:57,658 --> 00:15:59,158
誰都知道我是無心的

251
00:15:59,159 --> 00:16:00,952
這點小事你就想要我的命

252
00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:01,962
太絕情了吧

253
00:16:02,037 --> 00:16:04,464
要我的命嗎　張大嘴巴

254
00:16:05,207 --> 00:16:09,052
再張大點　你不是想要我的命嗎

255
00:16:13,966 --> 00:16:15,466
我現在就把命給你

256
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:18,061
咬下來　不咬就是混蛋

257
00:16:19,721 --> 00:16:21,398
來　有戲看

258
00:16:21,765 --> 00:16:22,640
咬啊

259
00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:24,025
來啊

260
00:16:28,564 --> 00:16:29,865
你為什麼要這樣對我

261
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,234
說啊　為什麼不說話

262
00:16:33,235 --> 00:16:34,277
你為什麼不斷地

263
00:16:34,278 --> 00:16:36,654
欺騙我　刺激我

264
00:16:36,655 --> 00:16:40,542
傷害我　折磨我　虐待我

265
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:45,046
看來我們這個驅魔團隊

266
00:16:46,874 --> 00:16:49,176
不該留在世上了

267
00:16:52,129 --> 00:16:53,754
不如解散吧

268
00:16:53,755 --> 00:16:55,390
解散

269
00:16:55,507 --> 00:16:58,894
解散的意思是不是要咔嚓我們

270
00:16:59,678 --> 00:17:00,979
師父

271
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,309
徒弟明白師父的一片苦心

272
00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:08,936
你還是先喝藥吧　身子要緊

273
00:17:08,937 --> 00:17:11,615
徒弟以後再也不敢了

274
00:17:13,025 --> 00:17:16,828
你說什麼　又不是罰你

275
00:17:18,739 --> 00:17:21,082
師父　你該知道

276
00:17:21,617 --> 00:17:24,368
我們師兄弟們是心連心的

277
00:17:24,369 --> 00:17:27,246
你打在大師兄身上就痛在我心

278
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,340
現在我的心

279
00:17:28,624 --> 00:17:31,343
真是痛得不得了

280
00:17:34,963 --> 00:17:36,506
真的是心連心

281
00:17:36,507 --> 00:17:37,298
我打你　我的心

282
00:17:37,299 --> 00:17:38,382
真的痛得不得了

283
00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:40,185
師父　不信你試一試

284
00:17:42,471 --> 00:17:44,606
師父打你們

285
00:17:44,973 --> 00:17:47,776
心何嘗不是痛得不得了

286
00:17:48,352 --> 00:17:50,269
如果我一個人去取經

287
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,988
早就到了

288
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:53,981
根本都不用你們

289
00:17:53,982 --> 00:17:56,526
不是說笑　師父一個打一百幾十個

290
00:17:56,527 --> 00:17:57,610
是很平常的

291
00:17:57,611 --> 00:17:58,912
難道要告訴你嗎

292
00:17:58,946 --> 00:18:02,198
師父的如來神掌多厲害

293
00:18:02,199 --> 00:18:04,000
難道又要大聲告訴你

294
00:18:04,576 --> 00:18:07,787
所以現在不是你們幫師父去取經

295
00:18:07,788 --> 00:18:10,748
而是師父幫你們幾個孫子去積善修佛

296
00:18:10,749 --> 00:18:12,917
我今天說得那麼清楚

297
00:18:12,918 --> 00:18:14,544
你們明白了吧

298
00:18:14,545 --> 00:18:16,221
明白明白

299
00:18:21,009 --> 00:18:22,426
不早了　不早了

300
00:18:22,427 --> 00:18:25,146
明天還要趕路　睡吧睡吧

301
00:18:35,691 --> 00:18:37,441
孽猴

302
00:18:37,442 --> 00:18:40,704
看我如來神掌

303
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:20,243
有沒有想我

304
00:19:22,154 --> 00:19:24,363
師父現在連大師兄都不放過

305
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,041
境界比我高好幾級

306
00:19:26,325 --> 00:19:29,452
師父抱的不是大師兄

307
00:19:29,453 --> 00:19:31,546
是另外一個人

308
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:45,676
阿彌陀佛　阿彌陀佛

309
00:19:45,677 --> 00:19:48,063
師父昨晚好開心

310
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,815
我們也替你開心

311
00:19:50,891 --> 00:19:53,142
我們不會說出去的

312
00:19:53,143 --> 00:19:55,820
你一大早的說什麼

313
00:19:56,104 --> 00:19:56,979
水喝光了

314
00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:58,814
二師兄　快去打水

315
00:19:58,815 --> 00:20:01,275
你為何覺得水喝光了就要我去打呢

316
00:20:01,276 --> 00:20:02,360
你這個構思是

317
00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:03,569
如何產生的呢

318
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,872
別吵了　我去吧

319
00:20:19,169 --> 00:20:20,544
施主　不好意思

320
00:20:20,545 --> 00:20:21,545
貧僧剛好路過

321
00:20:21,546 --> 00:20:23,848
想要點水　做個飯

322
00:20:25,342 --> 00:20:27,134
何必這麼麻煩

323
00:20:27,135 --> 00:20:29,095
進來吃個飯就好了

324
00:20:29,096 --> 00:20:30,930
但我是吃齋的

325
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:32,723
那麼巧

326
00:20:32,724 --> 00:20:35,944
我們今天正好吃齋

327
00:20:36,144 --> 00:20:37,770
大家都是修道之人

328
00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:39,897
一起吃個便飯有什麼關係

329
00:20:39,898 --> 00:20:42,617
不如這樣　吃完後留下來

330
00:20:42,693 --> 00:20:45,704
我們互相交流一下佛學

331
00:20:47,739 --> 00:20:49,916
病成這樣　還能吃嗎

332
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,993
可以的　治好了再吃

333
00:20:52,994 --> 00:20:55,338
那我就恭敬不如從命了

334
00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:58,550
不用煮了　過來吃飯吧

335
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,167
我煮好的粥

336
00:21:00,168 --> 00:21:02,262
現在怎麼辦

337
00:21:03,672 --> 00:21:05,423
你的粥快糊了

338
00:21:05,424 --> 00:21:07,475
快點去看火吧

339
00:21:31,408 --> 00:21:33,826
施主　這藥果然有效

340
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:36,171
貧僧一喝就好了

341
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:38,631
他們是我的三個劣徒

342
00:22:00,395 --> 00:22:01,738
你好

343
00:22:02,189 --> 00:22:04,449
你好嗎

344
00:22:05,233 --> 00:22:06,367
你好

345
00:22:07,068 --> 00:22:08,953
你好你好

346
00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:13,458
要這麼帥嗎

347
00:22:15,243 --> 00:22:17,411
你好

348
00:22:17,412 --> 00:22:19,839
好什麼好　有這麼好嗎

349
00:22:20,332 --> 00:22:22,133
悟淨　你做什麼

350
00:22:22,209 --> 00:22:23,709
我的粥都煮好了

351
00:22:23,710 --> 00:22:25,336
你們是什麼意思

352
00:22:25,337 --> 00:22:26,545
還好好好好好

353
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,598
我完全不明白

354
00:22:28,673 --> 00:22:31,091
不好意思　我這個徒弟智力有點問題

355
00:22:31,092 --> 00:22:32,468
不要緊

356
00:22:32,469 --> 00:22:34,053
請問施主

357
00:22:34,054 --> 00:22:36,356
你們這裏有沒有妖怪

358
00:22:36,973 --> 00:22:38,557
大師　你不要嚇我

359
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:40,193
我們這裏怎麼會有妖怪呢

360
00:22:40,644 --> 00:22:41,986
你也太誇張了吧

361
00:22:42,896 --> 00:22:45,323
大師問這個做什麼

362
00:22:46,233 --> 00:22:47,691
是這樣的

363
00:22:47,692 --> 00:22:49,953
我們是驅魔人

364
00:22:50,362 --> 00:22:52,571
真的嗎　為什麼

365
00:22:52,572 --> 00:22:54,406
承蒙施主盛情款待

366
00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:55,908
貧僧無以為報

367
00:22:55,909 --> 00:22:58,244
特送免費驅魔服務一次

368
00:22:58,245 --> 00:23:01,923
真的嗎　為什麼　你好厲害

369
00:23:02,249 --> 00:23:03,916
不過可惜了

370
00:23:03,917 --> 00:23:06,136
我們這裏沒有妖怪

371
00:23:08,421 --> 00:23:10,390
我們不要拐彎抹角了

372
00:23:10,674 --> 00:23:11,683
打我

373
00:23:13,510 --> 00:23:14,468
快點

374
00:23:14,469 --> 00:23:17,438
不是我打死你　就是你打死我

375
00:23:18,181 --> 00:23:19,390
真的嗎

376
00:23:19,391 --> 00:23:21,234
為什麼

377
00:23:26,898 --> 00:23:28,825
我叫你打我　混蛋

378
00:23:29,067 --> 00:23:30,693
你聽不聽得到

379
00:23:30,694 --> 00:23:34,622
快點打我　你這個混蛋

380
00:23:37,742 --> 00:23:39,243
你又做什麼

381
00:23:39,244 --> 00:23:40,962
我不是混蛋

382
00:23:41,037 --> 00:23:43,122
你當然是混蛋

383
00:23:43,123 --> 00:23:45,082
不過我剛才是說她　混蛋

384
00:23:45,083 --> 00:23:46,792
頂你個肺

385
00:23:46,793 --> 00:23:48,502
你們兩個混蛋還當我是師父嗎

386
00:23:48,503 --> 00:23:49,512
給我滾出去

387
00:23:49,921 --> 00:23:51,681
出去出去出去

388
00:23:51,965 --> 00:23:53,016
失禮失禮

389
00:23:53,967 --> 00:23:55,509
滾出去

390
00:23:55,510 --> 00:23:57,604
人家盛情款待我們

391
00:23:57,846 --> 00:24:00,806
你們又拍桌子　又叫人家打你

392
00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:02,099
還罵人家混蛋

393
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,934
全部給我面壁思過

394
00:24:03,935 --> 00:24:04,810
反省一下

395
00:24:04,811 --> 00:24:07,521
自己一生中對社會有什麼貢獻

396
00:24:07,522 --> 00:24:10,617
沒想明白就不得有任何動作

397
00:24:21,036 --> 00:24:22,921
你們回來

398
00:24:23,038 --> 00:24:24,580
師父　我們還沒想明白

399
00:24:24,581 --> 00:24:26,081
還有什麼可想

400
00:24:26,082 --> 00:24:27,258
回來

401
00:24:27,459 --> 00:24:29,793
不行　我還沒反省呢

402
00:24:29,794 --> 00:24:31,763
反什麼反　出人命了

403
00:25:04,162 --> 00:25:05,588
耙

404
00:25:09,668 --> 00:25:10,751
起

405
00:25:10,752 --> 00:25:12,053
起

406
00:25:12,128 --> 00:25:14,013
起

407
00:25:17,676 --> 00:25:20,937
可以停了　可以停了

408
00:25:46,871 --> 00:25:49,465
師父　到你出手了

409
00:25:50,750 --> 00:25:52,385
對我那麼好

410
00:26:12,105 --> 00:26:13,364
美女

411
00:26:13,565 --> 00:26:15,649
有前有後　腿又長

412
00:26:15,650 --> 00:26:17,368
你幹嘛　　　好漂亮

413
00:26:23,867 --> 00:26:25,367
我是蜘蛛

414
00:26:25,368 --> 00:26:27,587
你不是吧

415
00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:30,465
我也是隻豬

416
00:26:30,749 --> 00:26:31,966
沒有問題

417
00:26:38,882 --> 00:26:41,392
你越反抗　我越強壯

418
00:26:46,306 --> 00:26:48,566
別走　我叫你啊

419
00:27:57,377 --> 00:27:58,794
什麼聲音

420
00:27:58,795 --> 00:28:00,930
沒事　是三師弟

421
00:28:01,256 --> 00:28:03,558
悟淨　你沒事吧

422
00:28:04,592 --> 00:28:07,145
我中了毒　有點暈

423
00:28:12,517 --> 00:28:15,769
看來師父是沒辦法不出手了

424
00:28:15,770 --> 00:28:18,480
降魔伏妖靠的是真誠

425
00:28:18,481 --> 00:28:20,190
渡妖向善

426
00:28:20,191 --> 00:28:22,493
不一定要打打殺殺的

427
00:28:24,863 --> 00:28:30,209
放下屠刀　立地成佛

428
00:29:04,652 --> 00:29:06,370
且慢

429
00:29:06,654 --> 00:29:08,289
悟空

430
00:29:08,448 --> 00:29:09,907
你不要那麼粗魯

431
00:29:09,908 --> 00:29:11,491
力氣那麼大　不如去挑泥吧

432
00:29:11,492 --> 00:29:12,543
走開

433
00:29:12,702 --> 00:29:14,045
等我來

434
00:29:20,835 --> 00:29:22,836
師兄　你手輕一點

435
00:29:22,837 --> 00:29:24,630
這位姑娘跟我較量過

436
00:29:24,631 --> 00:29:26,757
她有前有後　腳又長

437
00:29:26,758 --> 00:29:27,925
真是可遇不可求

438
00:29:27,926 --> 00:29:28,851
閉嘴

439
00:29:31,763 --> 00:29:33,523
放

440
00:30:01,417 --> 00:30:03,970
師父　搞定了

441
00:30:05,838 --> 00:30:07,390
你說什麼

442
00:30:07,632 --> 00:30:09,716
我都沒表演　你就買單了

443
00:30:09,717 --> 00:30:11,310
你居心何在啊

444
00:30:11,427 --> 00:30:14,388
這是什麼話　你知道剛才有多危險嗎

445
00:30:14,389 --> 00:30:16,598
它差一點把你吞下去

446
00:30:16,599 --> 00:30:18,267
幸好你徒弟我的手夠快

447
00:30:18,268 --> 00:30:19,309
一拳就把它打爆了

448
00:30:19,310 --> 00:30:21,520
我不是跟你說過很多次了

449
00:30:21,521 --> 00:30:23,230
降魔伏妖是要靠感化

450
00:30:23,231 --> 00:30:25,616
剛才你沒看到人家是帶著微笑的嗎

451
00:30:26,317 --> 00:30:27,693
微笑

452
00:30:27,694 --> 00:30:29,486
它帶著微笑是要吃你啊　師父

453
00:30:29,487 --> 00:30:30,946
你太離譜了

454
00:30:30,947 --> 00:30:33,499
人家笑得多真誠

455
00:30:35,368 --> 00:30:36,994
我笑得更真誠

456
00:30:36,995 --> 00:30:38,328
你猜我是愛你呢

457
00:30:38,329 --> 00:30:40,214
還是要殺你呢

458
00:30:47,463 --> 00:30:48,463
你找哪位

459
00:30:48,464 --> 00:30:50,391
我有什麼可以幫你嗎

460
00:31:05,273 --> 00:31:07,325
你快看看他有多帥

461
00:31:07,525 --> 00:31:09,776
你現在差點就比我帥了

462
00:31:09,777 --> 00:31:11,662
你自己能知道

463
00:31:12,196 --> 00:31:14,031
我知道　你不爽嘛

464
00:31:14,032 --> 00:31:14,781
是不是啊

465
00:31:14,782 --> 00:31:16,867
我當然不爽　你爽嗎

466
00:31:16,868 --> 00:31:19,786
別吵　你看死禿驢在那邊搞什麼

467
00:31:19,787 --> 00:31:20,996
他在想事情

468
00:31:20,997 --> 00:31:22,122
想什麼

469
00:31:22,123 --> 00:31:23,799
段小姐

470
00:31:31,507 --> 00:31:34,310
我管他想誰　關我屁事

471
00:31:35,136 --> 00:31:38,013
死禿驢動不動喊打喊殺我都算了

472
00:31:38,014 --> 00:31:39,723
最近還踩了我的底線

473
00:31:39,724 --> 00:31:42,851
晚上在我背後掃來掃去

474
00:31:42,852 --> 00:31:45,520
還說想我　又說不要離開我

475
00:31:45,521 --> 00:31:47,981
我那麼囂張　都覺得很尷尬

476
00:31:47,982 --> 00:31:49,858
聽你這麼說　這不是辦法

477
00:31:49,859 --> 00:31:51,661
不如殺了他吧

478
00:31:53,029 --> 00:31:54,497
算了吧

479
00:31:55,031 --> 00:31:58,417
死禿驢一唱歌你就只能跳舞

480
00:31:58,576 --> 00:31:59,785
拿他沒辦法

481
00:31:59,786 --> 00:32:01,411
那我把他的舌頭拉出來

482
00:32:01,412 --> 00:32:02,412
打個結

483
00:32:02,413 --> 00:32:04,924
再塞回去　看他怎麼唱

484
00:32:05,249 --> 00:32:08,335
他還有一招如來神掌

485
00:32:08,336 --> 00:32:09,419
我才不怕呢

486
00:32:09,420 --> 00:32:11,505
把他的手打斷　斷成這樣

487
00:32:11,506 --> 00:32:13,557
我看他還如什麼來神什麼掌

488
00:32:20,390 --> 00:32:22,650
師父　你站在這裏多久了

489
00:32:23,810 --> 00:32:25,143
剛剛而已

490
00:32:25,144 --> 00:32:26,728
我來看看你們搞什麼

491
00:32:26,729 --> 00:32:28,906
放心　我什麼都沒聽見

492
00:32:31,025 --> 00:32:32,451
師父

493
00:32:32,735 --> 00:32:34,111
你失聲了嗎

494
00:32:34,112 --> 00:32:35,987
沒有這樣的事

495
00:32:35,988 --> 00:32:37,248
荒山野嶺

496
00:32:37,698 --> 00:32:41,127
那麼大聲說話　吵到別人就不好了

497
00:32:41,619 --> 00:32:42,536
原來是這樣

498
00:32:42,537 --> 00:32:43,787
當然

499
00:32:43,788 --> 00:32:46,924
師父何時有騙過你們

500
00:32:47,917 --> 00:32:50,720
你們繼續　師父先去方便一下

501
00:33:08,271 --> 00:33:09,813
佛祖啊佛祖

502
00:33:09,814 --> 00:33:12,023
我這三個徒弟頑劣成性

503
00:33:12,024 --> 00:33:13,951
弟子玄奘管教無方

504
00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:15,777
除了兒歌三百首之外

505
00:33:15,778 --> 00:33:17,028
就什麼都不會

506
00:33:17,029 --> 00:33:20,166
一路以來虛張聲勢　裝模作樣

507
00:33:20,491 --> 00:33:22,367
真是撐得好辛苦

508
00:33:22,368 --> 00:33:24,619
現在徒弟們已經對我起了殺心

509
00:33:24,620 --> 00:33:27,038
而我又失聲唱不了歌

510
00:33:27,039 --> 00:33:29,082
祈求佛祖你大發慈悲

511
00:33:29,083 --> 00:33:32,210
賜我那一招如來神掌防身

512
00:33:32,211 --> 00:33:35,055
弟子必定感激不盡

513
00:33:38,551 --> 00:33:41,896
我求求你　求求你

514
00:33:44,182 --> 00:33:46,650
佛祖　你聽不聽得到啊

515
00:33:46,767 --> 00:33:49,612
給我丁點兒提示好嗎

516
00:33:49,687 --> 00:33:52,239
隨便放個屁也好

517
00:34:00,740 --> 00:34:04,034
八戒　你站在這裏多久了

518
00:34:04,035 --> 00:34:06,828
我剛來到這裏　你不叫我都沒看見你

519
00:34:06,829 --> 00:34:08,881
放心　我什麼都沒聽到

520
00:34:11,959 --> 00:34:13,668
師父對你那麼好

521
00:34:13,669 --> 00:34:16,055
你知道該怎麼做吧

522
00:34:16,923 --> 00:34:18,465
什麼叫該怎麼做

523
00:34:18,466 --> 00:34:20,643
我就做我自己

524
00:34:20,801 --> 00:34:22,761
師父的意思是

525
00:34:22,762 --> 00:34:26,065
禍從口出　沉默是金

526
00:34:26,098 --> 00:34:28,934
師父　我放了個屁而已

527
00:34:28,935 --> 00:34:30,852
你又恐嚇又勒索的

528
00:34:30,853 --> 00:34:33,697
徒弟壓力真的好大啊

529
00:34:34,565 --> 00:34:36,659
玩這套

530
00:34:36,859 --> 00:34:38,610
那你自己看著辦吧

531
00:34:38,611 --> 00:34:40,111
我知道你住在哪裏的

532
00:34:40,112 --> 00:34:41,539
當然當然

533
00:34:52,667 --> 00:34:54,385
悟空　你在幹嘛

534
00:34:57,922 --> 00:35:00,099
你自己看著辦啦

535
00:35:00,383 --> 00:35:01,675
我想領教一下

536
00:35:01,676 --> 00:35:04,186
師父的如來神掌

537
00:35:04,428 --> 00:35:06,897
你做什麼　你說什麼

538
00:35:07,431 --> 00:35:09,024
聽不見嗎

539
00:35:09,183 --> 00:35:12,736
我說　我想跟師父你切磋武功

540
00:35:17,316 --> 00:35:19,076
跑

541
00:35:35,418 --> 00:35:36,876
（孩子　孩子）

542
00:35:36,877 --> 00:35:40,505
（為何你這麼壞）

543
00:35:40,506 --> 00:35:42,007
（欺負　欺騙）

544
00:35:42,008 --> 00:35:44,351
（為何你做出來）

545
00:35:45,595 --> 00:35:47,345
（學會做好小孩）

546
00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:49,356
（相親相愛）

547
00:35:50,057 --> 00:35:51,224
（關懷就在心中）

548
00:35:51,225 --> 00:35:53,560
死禿驢　有種你別唱

549
00:35:53,561 --> 00:35:55,362
跟我單挑

550
00:35:55,896 --> 00:35:58,699
（乖乖）

551
00:36:22,798 --> 00:36:24,892
師父　看你還能跑到哪

552
00:36:24,925 --> 00:36:27,603
好　既然你

553
00:36:27,803 --> 00:36:30,773
真的要　為師就成全你

554
00:36:31,515 --> 00:36:33,892
那我來了　你站穩了

555
00:36:33,893 --> 00:36:35,778
等等　我先補個妝

556
00:36:54,997 --> 00:36:56,915
我就是跟師父你玩一下

557
00:36:56,916 --> 00:37:00,302
做做運動出身汗　舒服

558
00:37:04,173 --> 00:37:05,724
嚇死我了

559
00:37:24,235 --> 00:37:25,902
你又想怎樣啊

560
00:37:25,903 --> 00:37:27,195
我做了什麼

561
00:37:27,196 --> 00:37:29,531
你現在真的帥得不得了

562
00:37:29,532 --> 00:37:30,916
真的嗎

563
00:37:31,867 --> 00:37:33,711
騙你是孫子

564
00:37:38,416 --> 00:37:39,332
怎麼樣

565
00:37:39,333 --> 00:37:41,251
死禿驢是不是給你打得七竅流血

566
00:37:41,252 --> 00:37:43,429
斷手斷腳抽筋扒皮了

567
00:37:45,631 --> 00:37:48,350
不是吧　你真的殺了他

568
00:37:49,218 --> 00:37:51,270
你耍我

569
00:38:10,489 --> 00:38:14,367
八戒　你現在知道什麼是禍從口出了嗎

570
00:38:14,368 --> 00:38:16,837
知道了

571
00:38:26,380 --> 00:38:29,516
中毒你就牛掰了　我還得拉你

572
00:38:44,106 --> 00:38:45,815
你噴完了沒有

573
00:38:45,816 --> 00:38:48,786
我著涼了　流鼻涕啊

574
00:38:51,739 --> 00:38:55,074
你著什麼涼　你乾脆死了就一了百了

575
00:38:55,075 --> 00:38:56,460
不要害人了

576
00:38:58,078 --> 00:38:59,254
悟空

577
00:38:59,288 --> 00:39:02,674
你說沙僧什麼時候會變回人形呢

578
00:39:03,751 --> 00:39:06,544
不知道　我完全沒有在意

579
00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,712
師父　你很想知道嗎

580
00:39:07,713 --> 00:39:08,588
我

581
00:39:08,589 --> 00:39:10,140
不想

582
00:40:01,559 --> 00:40:04,278
九宮真人到

583
00:40:05,062 --> 00:40:07,781
國師好

584
00:40:22,204 --> 00:40:25,582
三藏法師不愧是大唐高僧

585
00:40:25,583 --> 00:40:27,509
風采超然

586
00:40:28,168 --> 00:40:32,264
九宮真人心悅誠服

587
00:40:46,812 --> 00:40:48,155
幸會幸會

588
00:40:48,230 --> 00:40:50,231
請問國師怎麼知道我的來歷的

589
00:40:50,232 --> 00:40:52,492
貧僧實在是受寵若

590
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,361
若驚　受寵若驚

591
00:40:55,362 --> 00:40:57,739
久聞三藏法師盛名

592
00:40:57,740 --> 00:41:00,334
還有另外三位高徒也是

593
00:41:00,576 --> 00:41:02,243
正氣凜然

594
00:41:02,244 --> 00:41:04,245
得知你們師徒四人

595
00:41:04,246 --> 00:41:05,914
途經此地

596
00:41:05,915 --> 00:41:09,509
國王特派本宮在此等候多時

597
00:41:09,710 --> 00:41:12,137
不如我們一起回宮

598
00:41:15,382 --> 00:41:17,309
聊聊天吧

599
00:41:22,264 --> 00:41:24,024
好戲法

600
00:41:25,601 --> 00:41:28,278
見笑了　請

601
00:41:32,942 --> 00:41:34,233
不要亂搞

602
00:41:34,234 --> 00:41:36,861
沒有啊　什麼都沒搞

603
00:41:36,862 --> 00:41:38,372
真是的

604
00:41:45,704 --> 00:41:47,205
花開

605
00:41:47,206 --> 00:41:48,840
變

606
00:41:51,835 --> 00:41:52,669
真人

607
00:41:52,670 --> 00:41:55,264
有個問題困擾了我好一陣子

608
00:41:55,756 --> 00:41:57,256
你的法術

609
00:41:57,257 --> 00:41:59,476
是故意做得那麼假嗎

610
00:42:00,678 --> 00:42:03,429
法師　你我乃同道中人

611
00:42:03,430 --> 00:42:05,807
都知這世間法術怎會有真

612
00:42:05,808 --> 00:42:09,811
所以真真假假　又何必在意

613
00:42:09,812 --> 00:42:11,446
請吧

614
00:42:16,735 --> 00:42:19,362
修法不同於變戲法

615
00:42:19,363 --> 00:42:21,164
最重要的

616
00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:22,624
是內心

617
00:42:23,117 --> 00:42:24,084
法師

618
00:42:25,661 --> 00:42:27,796
你有點放不開

619
00:42:28,163 --> 00:42:30,173
是不是有心事呢

620
00:42:30,541 --> 00:42:34,752
法師的心裏　有一個人朝思暮想

621
00:42:34,753 --> 00:42:37,389
念念不忘

622
00:42:38,507 --> 00:42:40,341
沒　沒　沒這樣的事

623
00:42:40,342 --> 00:42:41,592
做人呢

624
00:42:41,593 --> 00:42:43,219
跟修法一樣

625
00:42:43,220 --> 00:42:48,692
講究的是隨心隨性　才可以青春常駐

626
00:42:49,226 --> 00:42:52,478
一個人若是不忠於自己的內心

627
00:42:52,479 --> 00:42:54,605
那就是偽善

628
00:42:54,606 --> 00:42:58,109
所以本宮修的隨心隨性大法

629
00:42:58,110 --> 00:43:00,245
就是這個意思

630
00:43:01,655 --> 00:43:05,083
隨心隨性大法就是

631
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:08,003
就是想幹嘛就幹嘛

632
00:43:19,673 --> 00:43:21,257
他們跪在這裏幹嘛

633
00:43:21,258 --> 00:43:24,719
玩遊戲　輸了要罰跪

634
00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:27,638
國王最近吃了返老還童丹

635
00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:29,566
心智就變成了小孩子

636
00:43:29,933 --> 00:43:33,653
正符合我要宣揚的隨心隨性大法

637
00:43:34,813 --> 00:43:37,690
這個國王很好哄的

638
00:43:37,691 --> 00:43:40,369
你拍他馬屁　就重重有賞

639
00:43:41,528 --> 00:43:44,614
到時不要忘記分我一份

640
00:43:44,615 --> 00:43:47,250
一人一半你沒有問題吧

641
00:43:48,660 --> 00:43:49,368
這

642
00:43:49,369 --> 00:43:51,963
我開玩笑的　你不會當真吧

643
00:43:54,166 --> 00:43:56,551
美女和你們打招呼

644
00:43:57,419 --> 00:44:01,056
好玩　我欣賞

645
00:44:07,721 --> 00:44:08,930
皇上

646
00:44:08,931 --> 00:44:10,473
貴賓到了

647
00:44:10,474 --> 00:44:11,557
貧僧三藏

648
00:44:11,558 --> 00:44:12,642
途經貴國

649
00:44:12,643 --> 00:44:15,269
特帶三個劣徒來拜見國王

650
00:44:15,270 --> 00:44:17,823
抱抱

651
00:44:22,319 --> 00:44:23,787
好

652
00:44:25,364 --> 00:44:27,198
這個國王好像比師父還傻

653
00:44:27,199 --> 00:44:28,625
你亂說

654
00:44:28,659 --> 00:44:31,461
沒人會傻得過師父　神經病

655
00:44:36,166 --> 00:44:37,834
抱抱

656
00:44:37,835 --> 00:44:41,304
國王用終極大禮迎接你　回禮吧

657
00:44:42,714 --> 00:44:45,642
來不及了　擺架子

658
00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:48,437
這邊

659
00:44:55,602 --> 00:44:57,228
聽說你是驅魔人

660
00:44:57,229 --> 00:44:59,188
沒錯　在下正是

661
00:44:59,189 --> 00:45:02,117
我不信　耍兩下露兩手

662
00:45:03,944 --> 00:45:05,486
我想皇上可能搞錯了

663
00:45:05,487 --> 00:45:07,780
驅魔不是耍雜技

664
00:45:07,781 --> 00:45:11,033
我叫你做什麼　就做什麼

665
00:45:11,034 --> 00:45:13,161
我叫你說什麼就說什麼

666
00:45:13,162 --> 00:45:14,537
你不照我說的做

667
00:45:14,538 --> 00:45:16,664
就是不給面子

668
00:45:16,665 --> 00:45:18,166
我現在就砍你的頭下來

669
00:45:18,167 --> 00:45:19,968
掛在大門口

670
00:45:20,460 --> 00:45:22,753
這個國王有些想法

671
00:45:22,754 --> 00:45:23,880
我支持他

672
00:45:23,881 --> 00:45:24,806
來人

673
00:45:24,965 --> 00:45:25,891
砍他

674
00:45:27,176 --> 00:45:29,269
沒事沒事

675
00:45:31,221 --> 00:45:32,471
是嗎　真的沒事嗎

676
00:45:32,472 --> 00:45:33,723
開玩笑的

677
00:45:33,724 --> 00:45:35,308
原來是這樣

678
00:45:35,309 --> 00:45:37,393
不太像開玩笑

679
00:45:37,394 --> 00:45:38,820
不像嗎

680
00:45:41,190 --> 00:45:42,064
皇上皇上

681
00:45:42,065 --> 00:45:44,442
我想起來了　沒理由不耍兩下的

682
00:45:44,443 --> 00:45:47,621
悟空快露兩手　給皇上欣賞一下

683
00:45:48,322 --> 00:45:50,823
找個隨從來應酬我

684
00:45:50,824 --> 00:45:52,617
就是更瞧不起我

685
00:45:52,618 --> 00:45:53,951
砍死他

686
00:45:53,952 --> 00:45:56,162
皇上　這兩下我耍定了

687
00:45:56,163 --> 00:45:58,289
不要勸我　我一定要

688
00:45:58,290 --> 00:46:01,259
我隨便補補妝馬上就來

689
00:46:02,127 --> 00:46:04,128
那快點吧

690
00:46:04,129 --> 00:46:07,057
法師　你真的要耍兩下嗎

691
00:46:07,132 --> 00:46:09,643
我可以不耍嗎

692
00:46:17,935 --> 00:46:19,528
卡住了

693
00:46:20,687 --> 00:46:21,520
現在怎麼辦

694
00:46:21,521 --> 00:46:24,523
沒什麼大不了　就出如來神掌

695
00:46:24,524 --> 00:46:26,910
你以為如來神掌隨便出的嗎

696
00:46:27,361 --> 00:46:28,653
不如我變成師父的樣子

697
00:46:28,654 --> 00:46:30,413
出去表演給國王看不就行了

698
00:46:30,530 --> 00:46:33,532
你就吹吧　你想出去強姦宮女而已

699
00:46:33,533 --> 00:46:35,252
有種你就去吧

700
00:46:38,705 --> 00:46:40,081
剪刀　石頭　布

701
00:46:40,082 --> 00:46:41,633
剪刀　石頭　布

702
00:46:43,001 --> 00:46:44,835
我有辦法了

703
00:46:44,836 --> 00:46:46,012
聽話符

704
00:46:46,505 --> 00:46:48,673
又來　老橋段了

705
00:46:48,674 --> 00:46:50,716
哪有這麼多新的　老闆

706
00:46:50,717 --> 00:46:52,802
混口飯而已　將就一下吧

707
00:46:52,803 --> 00:46:54,178
我一貼上去

708
00:46:54,179 --> 00:46:55,972
我做什麼他就做什麼

709
00:46:55,973 --> 00:46:58,483
而且動作和我的一模一樣

710
00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:45,655
仆街　砍死他

711
00:47:47,107 --> 00:47:49,108
不行　你脫光衣服到處晃我就完蛋了

712
00:47:49,109 --> 00:47:50,234
我不會中計的

713
00:47:50,235 --> 00:47:51,286
你不信我啊

714
00:47:51,987 --> 00:47:52,912
不信

715
00:47:54,323 --> 00:47:57,292
枉費我真心真意想要幫你

716
00:47:58,076 --> 00:47:59,669
你是不是還不信我

717
00:48:01,580 --> 00:48:03,048
不信

718
00:48:03,081 --> 00:48:05,925
如果中間有不妥當　你可以喊停

719
00:48:06,710 --> 00:48:07,969
你不會騙我

720
00:48:08,211 --> 00:48:10,055
我像嗎

721
00:48:11,006 --> 00:48:12,298
我什麼時候騙過你

722
00:48:12,299 --> 00:48:13,799
你從來沒有不騙我

723
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,310
對啊　你知道就好

724
00:48:15,719 --> 00:48:17,103
仆街啦你

725
00:48:31,902 --> 00:48:33,119
好

726
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:46,633
停

727
00:48:51,963 --> 00:48:53,431
在哪裏

728
00:48:53,548 --> 00:48:55,925
還不表演是不是瞧不起我

729
00:48:55,926 --> 00:48:56,935
繼續吧

730
00:49:04,434 --> 00:49:05,902
走開

731
00:49:15,570 --> 00:49:16,445
真可憐

732
00:49:16,446 --> 00:49:17,947
跳脫衣舞是我強項

733
00:49:17,948 --> 00:49:20,208
師父跳得沒我好

734
00:49:22,702 --> 00:49:24,129
人呢

735
00:49:24,329 --> 00:49:25,755
去了哪裏

736
00:49:30,168 --> 00:49:31,302
停

737
00:49:31,670 --> 00:49:33,096
不要停

738
00:49:34,214 --> 00:49:35,423
你喊什麼停

739
00:49:35,424 --> 00:49:37,133
你再喊停　我就把你的頭砍下來

740
00:49:37,134 --> 00:49:38,893
開玩笑的

741
00:49:40,220 --> 00:49:41,679
原來不是開玩笑的

742
00:49:41,680 --> 00:49:44,315
再喊停　就肯定砍你的頭下來

743
00:49:44,558 --> 00:49:46,067
繼續吧

744
00:49:58,572 --> 00:50:01,541
厲害啊　還有更驕傲的東西拿出來嗎

745
00:50:05,620 --> 00:50:07,079
賞你耳光

746
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,798
賞你耳光

747
00:50:10,667 --> 00:50:11,625
再賞你耳光

748
00:50:11,626 --> 00:50:13,344
再賞你耳光

749
00:50:18,508 --> 00:50:20,894
他打我

750
00:50:21,511 --> 00:50:24,230
他打我

751
00:50:28,101 --> 00:50:29,477
快點快點

752
00:50:29,478 --> 00:50:32,781
趁國王還在哭　你們快點走吧

753
00:50:44,493 --> 00:50:47,545
法師　我已經盡力幫你了

754
00:50:47,621 --> 00:50:49,246
你搞出這樣的事情

755
00:50:49,247 --> 00:50:51,549
法師的招牌恐怕是

756
00:50:54,044 --> 00:50:56,554
無可救藥了

757
00:50:56,963 --> 00:50:58,640
來人

758
00:50:59,216 --> 00:51:01,351
這裏有些盤纏

759
00:51:02,010 --> 00:51:04,178
你先拿去用吧

760
00:51:04,179 --> 00:51:06,847
這十年八年你就別出現了

761
00:51:06,848 --> 00:51:09,183
我弄成這樣　怎麼可以拿你的

762
00:51:09,184 --> 00:51:11,861
算了　人心都是肉長的

763
00:51:12,187 --> 00:51:14,030
相見難

764
00:51:14,064 --> 00:51:16,065
離別就更難

765
00:51:16,066 --> 00:51:19,077
今日一別　不知何時還能再見

766
00:51:19,319 --> 00:51:20,486
保重了

767
00:51:20,487 --> 00:51:21,955
唐唐

768
00:51:26,201 --> 00:51:28,661
國師超級喜歡你

769
00:51:28,662 --> 00:51:30,663
師父你是吃定她了吧

770
00:51:30,664 --> 00:51:32,623
你的桃花運真好　佩服佩服

771
00:51:32,624 --> 00:51:35,927
不過你的確是有魅力　該有這種艷福

772
00:51:37,504 --> 00:51:38,879
你這隻臭猴子

773
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,756
你還好意思說話

774
00:51:40,757 --> 00:51:42,841
我料到這次會出事

775
00:51:42,842 --> 00:51:44,134
沒想到你玩那麼大

776
00:51:44,135 --> 00:51:46,637
你給我跪下

777
00:51:46,638 --> 00:51:48,857
不跪我就打到你跪

778
00:51:49,057 --> 00:51:49,890
跪下

779
00:51:49,891 --> 00:51:51,141
打啊

780
00:51:51,142 --> 00:51:54,228
你知不知道當眾出醜是什麼感受嗎

781
00:51:54,229 --> 00:51:57,022
我整天當眾被罰跳這種爛舞

782
00:51:57,023 --> 00:51:58,482
你能知道我的感受嗎

783
00:51:58,483 --> 00:51:59,441
在小弟們面前

784
00:51:59,442 --> 00:52:01,703
跪在地上像狗一樣被你打

785
00:52:01,736 --> 00:52:03,788
你知不知道我感受

786
00:52:03,863 --> 00:52:04,655
沒錯

787
00:52:04,656 --> 00:52:06,156
我就是要耍你

788
00:52:06,157 --> 00:52:07,917
讓你知道什麼叫沒有尊嚴

789
00:52:11,496 --> 00:52:12,881
好

790
00:52:13,206 --> 00:52:15,332
既然都說到這個地步

791
00:52:15,333 --> 00:52:16,584
我就一掌打死你

792
00:52:16,585 --> 00:52:17,969
你打啊

793
00:52:18,086 --> 00:52:19,003
我早就想好了

794
00:52:19,004 --> 00:52:21,264
我寧死也不要被你折磨

795
00:52:21,590 --> 00:52:23,424
我只想告訴你

796
00:52:23,425 --> 00:52:26,093
什麼叫己所不欲

797
00:52:26,094 --> 00:52:27,896
勿施於人

798
00:52:41,610 --> 00:52:44,245
對不起　我錯了

799
00:52:47,157 --> 00:52:49,834
滾　別跟我來這套

800
00:52:51,661 --> 00:52:54,881
你說得對　己所不欲勿施於人

801
00:52:56,041 --> 00:52:58,176
師父整天罰你跳舞

802
00:52:58,376 --> 00:52:59,969
讓你當眾出醜

803
00:53:00,086 --> 00:53:03,797
現在我才知道　沒有尊嚴是有多慘

804
00:53:03,798 --> 00:53:05,308
有多慘

805
00:53:06,217 --> 00:53:08,719
師父叫你臭猴子是錯的

806
00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:11,731
一天到晚只知道打你罵你

807
00:53:12,557 --> 00:53:14,901
完全沒有顧及你的感受

808
00:53:18,938 --> 00:53:20,406
其實有問題的人

809
00:53:20,690 --> 00:53:21,950
是我

810
00:53:22,233 --> 00:53:24,369
是我搞到大家都不開心

811
00:53:24,903 --> 00:53:26,996
我真的知道錯了

812
00:53:27,072 --> 00:53:29,499
希望你原諒我一次吧

813
00:53:29,699 --> 00:53:32,335
給我一次機會　原諒我吧

814
00:53:34,245 --> 00:53:36,506
師父終於良心發現了

815
00:53:36,623 --> 00:53:40,417
沒見識　這招以退為進夠厲害的

816
00:53:40,418 --> 00:53:42,503
在適當的時候下跪認錯

817
00:53:42,504 --> 00:53:44,296
可以收買人心

818
00:53:44,297 --> 00:53:47,266
你看　大師兄現在不就服服帖帖嗎

819
00:53:49,094 --> 00:53:50,719
師父看著傻

820
00:53:50,720 --> 00:53:53,189
其實他是管理學的高手

821
00:53:55,058 --> 00:53:56,526
師父

822
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,696
其實我做得也有點過分

823
00:54:00,980 --> 00:54:02,657
快起來

824
00:54:05,485 --> 00:54:07,111
師父其實很疼你的

825
00:54:07,112 --> 00:54:09,497
難道要告訴你嗎

826
00:54:10,240 --> 00:54:12,449
師父　你對我怎樣

827
00:54:12,450 --> 00:54:14,034
我的心裏很清楚

828
00:54:14,035 --> 00:54:14,743
可我以後

829
00:54:14,744 --> 00:54:16,963
真的不想再跳那些舞蹈了

830
00:54:16,996 --> 00:54:18,330
坦白說　悟空

831
00:54:18,331 --> 00:54:20,174
你跳舞是很有天份的

832
00:54:20,792 --> 00:54:22,042
師父　還說這些

833
00:54:22,043 --> 00:54:23,085
不好吧

834
00:54:23,086 --> 00:54:25,129
不要叫我師父了

835
00:54:25,130 --> 00:54:27,339
我們兩個是一輩子的兄弟

836
00:54:27,340 --> 00:54:30,393
以後叫我大哥就行了　好嗎

837
00:54:32,262 --> 00:54:33,688
大哥

838
00:54:35,724 --> 00:54:37,025
大哥

839
00:54:37,934 --> 00:54:39,351
你看效果多顯著

840
00:54:39,352 --> 00:54:42,646
不單握手言和　還準備親上了

841
00:54:42,647 --> 00:54:44,490
你不服都不行

842
00:54:45,483 --> 00:54:48,786
皇宮禁地　擅闖者格殺勿論

843
00:54:49,738 --> 00:54:51,071
不好意思

844
00:54:51,072 --> 00:54:52,623
法師

845
00:54:54,033 --> 00:54:55,200
你回來幹嘛

846
00:54:55,201 --> 00:54:55,951
真人

847
00:54:55,952 --> 00:54:58,036
我想了又想　越想越不對勁

848
00:54:58,037 --> 00:54:59,079
必須救救我的招牌

849
00:54:59,080 --> 00:55:01,049
我想跟皇上解釋一下

850
00:55:01,750 --> 00:55:04,334
我拜託你趕緊走吧

851
00:55:04,335 --> 00:55:06,378
你還要進去　只會有更多的混亂

852
00:55:06,379 --> 00:55:09,089
國師　我招牌很值錢　別人不知道

853
00:55:09,090 --> 00:55:11,309
你就最清楚了　幫幫忙吧

854
00:55:20,477 --> 00:55:22,361
你們還敢回來

855
00:55:23,688 --> 00:55:25,147
皇上息怒

856
00:55:25,148 --> 00:55:27,399
唐僧有話要說

857
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:28,567
是的　皇上

858
00:55:28,568 --> 00:55:30,402
剛才的事　跟我無關

859
00:55:30,403 --> 00:55:32,905
完全是這個劣徒　一手造成

860
00:55:32,906 --> 00:55:35,115
所以特意帶他來　向你道歉

861
00:55:35,116 --> 00:55:36,950
順便奉上精彩的

862
00:55:36,951 --> 00:55:38,795
驅魔表演

863
00:55:39,037 --> 00:55:40,379
悟空

864
00:55:52,133 --> 00:55:53,226
打我

865
00:55:53,885 --> 00:55:55,186
你們變態的

866
00:55:55,386 --> 00:55:56,136
對啊

867
00:55:56,137 --> 00:55:59,473
玩遊戲讓皇上消消氣也好

868
00:55:59,474 --> 00:56:00,891
孫長老

869
00:56:00,892 --> 00:56:03,111
我跟你解釋一下遊戲規則

870
00:56:08,608 --> 00:56:09,775
法師

871
00:56:09,776 --> 00:56:12,829
這會不會太隨心隨性了

872
00:56:23,122 --> 00:56:24,498
是不是沒吃飯

873
00:56:24,499 --> 00:56:25,791
用力一點行嗎

874
00:56:25,792 --> 00:56:27,426
這樣打

875
00:56:56,239 --> 00:56:57,707
滾

876
00:57:00,660 --> 00:57:02,211
危險

877
00:57:34,485 --> 00:57:35,944
紅孩兒

878
00:57:35,945 --> 00:57:37,321
孫悟空

879
00:57:37,322 --> 00:57:39,248
你終於現形了

880
00:57:39,490 --> 00:57:41,533
我早就看出你有古怪

881
00:57:41,534 --> 00:57:42,284
傳聞

882
00:57:42,285 --> 00:57:44,453
你手執丈八火尖槍

883
00:57:44,454 --> 00:57:45,370
腳下

884
00:57:45,371 --> 00:57:47,798
是赤焰掣金輪　幸會了

885
00:57:49,167 --> 00:57:50,959
你叫齊天大聖

886
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:52,502
那就是很厲害了

887
00:57:52,503 --> 00:57:53,545
露兩手

888
00:57:53,546 --> 00:57:55,097
給本少爺瞧瞧

889
00:58:22,492 --> 00:58:23,751
出陰招

890
00:58:25,745 --> 00:58:27,380
看我的

891
00:58:38,883 --> 00:58:40,810
法師　快過來

892
00:59:34,272 --> 00:59:36,189
三昧真火

893
00:59:36,190 --> 00:59:38,409
接招

894
01:00:32,038 --> 01:00:33,038
皇宮

895
01:00:33,039 --> 01:00:36,008
沒了

896
01:00:37,502 --> 01:00:40,346
全毀了

897
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:42,172
笨猴子

898
01:00:42,173 --> 01:00:43,391
別躲了

899
01:00:43,591 --> 01:00:45,476
出來見我

900
01:02:19,353 --> 01:02:20,905
到我了

901
01:02:32,533 --> 01:02:33,918
救命啊

902
01:02:34,577 --> 01:02:36,212
救命啊

903
01:02:36,621 --> 01:02:37,996
發生什麼事

904
01:02:37,997 --> 01:02:40,674
是不是地震啊

905
01:02:41,209 --> 01:02:42,259
皇上

906
01:02:44,420 --> 01:02:45,804
打住

907
01:02:47,465 --> 01:02:48,807
讓我來

908
01:03:03,397 --> 01:03:05,282
好萌的妖怪

909
01:03:06,108 --> 01:03:08,443
這隻妖我收了　送給你做紀念

910
01:03:08,444 --> 01:03:10,904
好　那我就日夜誦經

911
01:03:10,905 --> 01:03:12,915
為它去除魔性

912
01:03:13,115 --> 01:03:14,917
我盡力而為吧

913
01:03:17,578 --> 01:03:19,088
國王

914
01:03:20,706 --> 01:03:22,424
皇上

915
01:03:28,214 --> 01:03:29,673
多謝各位高僧

916
01:03:29,674 --> 01:03:32,050
讓我們終於找到真正的國王

917
01:03:32,051 --> 01:03:34,386
我們還準備了厚禮送給法師

918
01:03:34,387 --> 01:03:35,854
請看

919
01:03:48,901 --> 01:03:51,611
本王後宮佳麗三千

920
01:03:51,612 --> 01:03:53,113
你隨意吧

921
01:03:53,114 --> 01:03:53,780
都給我嗎

922
01:03:53,781 --> 01:03:56,741
當然　本王連王位都給你

923
01:03:56,742 --> 01:03:58,544
皇上　你冷靜點

924
01:03:59,078 --> 01:04:01,037
皇上的意思是

925
01:04:01,038 --> 01:04:03,707
你可以多挑幾個宮女隨行

926
01:04:03,708 --> 01:04:04,666
是這個意思

927
01:04:04,667 --> 01:04:06,668
謝皇上一番好意　可貧僧

928
01:04:06,669 --> 01:04:08,586
師父跟我們是這種人嗎

929
01:04:08,587 --> 01:04:10,505
我們最痛恨的就是女色

930
01:04:10,506 --> 01:04:11,506
有本事你就全給我

931
01:04:11,507 --> 01:04:13,517
我一個一個收拾她們

932
01:04:14,093 --> 01:04:15,093
魚快乾死了

933
01:04:15,094 --> 01:04:16,520
不要浪費

934
01:04:16,721 --> 01:04:18,263
你的口水好臭啊

935
01:04:18,264 --> 01:04:19,347
便宜你了

936
01:04:19,348 --> 01:04:21,358
隨便吧　比沒有好

937
01:04:22,393 --> 01:04:24,352
其實怎麼都會用得上

938
01:04:24,353 --> 01:04:26,071
挑一兩個吧　　　對啊

939
01:04:26,105 --> 01:04:29,658
這次不讓我收拾她們就說不過去了

940
01:04:29,775 --> 01:04:32,027
如果皇上一定要誠意報答的話

941
01:04:32,028 --> 01:04:33,329
依貧僧之意

942
01:04:33,571 --> 01:04:35,905
不如還眾佳麗自由　好嗎

943
01:04:35,906 --> 01:04:36,906
沒問題

944
01:04:36,907 --> 01:04:39,492
你們誰誰誰　想走就儘管走

945
01:04:39,493 --> 01:04:42,838
本王絕不追究　君無戲言

946
01:04:43,039 --> 01:04:44,706
皇上　那

947
01:04:44,707 --> 01:04:45,582
我很想哭

948
01:04:45,583 --> 01:04:48,126
後宮佳麗三千　沒一個有人樣

949
01:04:48,127 --> 01:04:49,210
又那麼能吃

950
01:04:49,211 --> 01:04:53,089
一天七頓飯　每頓吃七碗　早點走吧

951
01:04:53,090 --> 01:04:54,424
你們自由了　走吧

952
01:04:54,425 --> 01:04:55,592
你有病啊

953
01:04:55,593 --> 01:04:56,593
做皇妃做得好好的

954
01:04:56,594 --> 01:04:57,761
我為什麼要走

955
01:04:57,762 --> 01:04:59,929
死禿驢　你算哪顆蔥

956
01:04:59,930 --> 01:05:01,523
不要搗亂　不然我喊人了

957
01:05:01,932 --> 01:05:03,442
我們這麼愛慕虛榮嗎

958
01:05:03,517 --> 01:05:05,810
我們是為了真愛

959
01:05:05,811 --> 01:05:07,979
趕走唐僧　保衛愛情

960
01:05:07,980 --> 01:05:10,273
趕走唐僧　保衛愛情

961
01:05:10,274 --> 01:05:12,776
趕走唐僧　保衛愛情

962
01:05:12,777 --> 01:05:14,912
趕走唐僧　保衛愛情

963
01:05:15,154 --> 01:05:18,082
你看　她們有多愛你啊

964
01:05:18,741 --> 01:05:20,867
打得你斷子絕孫

965
01:05:20,868 --> 01:05:22,503
對不起　我不對　　　使勁打

966
01:05:22,578 --> 01:05:25,506
好了好了　都留下好吧

967
01:05:28,667 --> 01:05:31,303
我好想死

968
01:05:37,426 --> 01:05:39,561
就是　就是

969
01:05:40,054 --> 01:05:41,221
就是　你

970
01:05:41,222 --> 01:05:42,180
我　　　對

971
01:05:42,181 --> 01:05:45,183
就是你後面穿黑衣服的

972
01:05:45,184 --> 01:05:47,685
你啊　我怎麼沒有見過你

973
01:05:47,686 --> 01:05:49,479
這是新來的宮女

974
01:05:49,480 --> 01:05:51,573
她原先是一名歌姬

975
01:05:53,651 --> 01:05:55,828
你叫什麼名字

976
01:05:56,946 --> 01:05:58,905
奴婢小善

977
01:05:58,906 --> 01:06:00,532
既然是歌姬

978
01:06:00,533 --> 01:06:02,617
就趕快表演一曲

979
01:06:02,618 --> 01:06:05,170
送給大師們餞行吧

980
01:06:06,122 --> 01:06:07,548
是

981
01:06:24,348 --> 01:06:26,316
胖女人　我才不怕你

982
01:06:48,706 --> 01:06:50,832
（昨天　今天）

983
01:06:50,833 --> 01:06:54,928
（過去不再回來）

984
01:06:57,047 --> 01:06:59,048
（紅顏落下）

985
01:06:59,049 --> 01:07:04,146
（色彩變蒼白）

986
01:07:04,305 --> 01:07:08,442
（從前直到現在）

987
01:07:09,059 --> 01:07:12,687
（愛還在）

988
01:07:12,688 --> 01:07:16,366
（願去等你漂泊）

989
01:07:16,650 --> 01:07:20,370
（白雲外）

990
01:07:22,114 --> 01:07:24,908
（痛愛）

991
01:07:24,909 --> 01:07:28,045
（讓人悲哀）

992
01:07:29,788 --> 01:07:32,999
（在世上）

993
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:37,846
（命運不能更改）

994
01:07:38,631 --> 01:07:41,350
（放開）

995
01:07:41,634 --> 01:07:46,554
（不能再相愛）

996
01:07:46,555 --> 01:07:53,612
（難道這是上天的安排）

997
01:07:58,484 --> 01:08:01,912
好　聲色藝俱全　精彩

998
01:08:13,499 --> 01:08:14,758
法師

999
01:08:15,668 --> 01:08:16,552
什麼

1000
01:08:17,419 --> 01:08:19,629
皇上問你　讓小善陪你西行

1001
01:08:19,630 --> 01:08:20,713
好不好

1002
01:08:20,714 --> 01:08:21,881
不行不行

1003
01:08:21,882 --> 01:08:24,268
貧僧西行取經是苦行修佛

1004
01:08:24,343 --> 01:08:26,019
恐怕是不太合適

1005
01:08:26,887 --> 01:08:29,180
小善一直都有燒香禮佛

1006
01:08:29,181 --> 01:08:30,640
對佛理興趣濃厚

1007
01:08:30,641 --> 01:08:33,184
取經路上風餐露宿　粗衣糲食

1008
01:08:33,185 --> 01:08:35,895
女孩子不行的　捱不了的

1009
01:08:35,896 --> 01:08:37,447
我不怕

1010
01:08:37,481 --> 01:08:39,065
小善家境清貧

1011
01:08:39,066 --> 01:08:41,609
自幼挑柴煮飯　織布造衫

1012
01:08:41,610 --> 01:08:43,820
早就習慣了艱苦生活

1013
01:08:43,821 --> 01:08:44,612
好

1014
01:08:44,613 --> 01:08:46,322
說得太感人了

1015
01:08:46,323 --> 01:08:47,991
這個小善

1016
01:08:47,992 --> 01:08:51,119
能歌善舞　還會洗衣做飯

1017
01:08:51,120 --> 01:08:55,123
此乃是居家旅行必備之良品啊

1018
01:08:55,124 --> 01:08:56,082
不過

1019
01:08:56,083 --> 01:08:58,677
大師　你真的不要嗎

1020
01:08:59,336 --> 01:09:00,387
不要

1021
01:09:01,714 --> 01:09:03,432
你不後悔嗎

1022
01:09:03,507 --> 01:09:04,549
不後悔

1023
01:09:04,550 --> 01:09:08,052
大師你冷靜一下　再想清楚

1024
01:09:08,053 --> 01:09:09,429
我再問你一次

1025
01:09:09,430 --> 01:09:10,939
你真的不要

1026
01:09:11,140 --> 01:09:11,780
是

1027
01:09:11,781 --> 01:09:13,850
有沒有搞錯　這麼好的姑娘

1028
01:09:13,851 --> 01:09:16,987
你為什麼不要呢　天理不容

1029
01:09:17,146 --> 01:09:18,146
國師

1030
01:09:18,147 --> 01:09:20,273
這樣吧

1031
01:09:20,274 --> 01:09:24,244
小善　有多快就多快送來我房間

1032
01:09:26,322 --> 01:09:27,789
皇上

1033
01:09:33,746 --> 01:09:36,340
那貧僧就先行告辭了

1034
01:09:41,712 --> 01:09:43,046
來人　送客

1035
01:09:43,047 --> 01:09:44,172
把魚拖出去

1036
01:09:44,173 --> 01:09:45,724
你過來

1037
01:10:28,425 --> 01:10:29,893
有過痛苦

1038
01:10:30,302 --> 01:10:32,437
方知眾生痛苦

1039
01:10:33,681 --> 01:10:35,148
有過執著

1040
01:10:35,349 --> 01:10:36,984
放下執著

1041
01:10:38,769 --> 01:10:40,195
有過牽掛

1042
01:10:41,063 --> 01:10:43,073
了無牽掛

1043
01:10:44,942 --> 01:10:47,035
這是一種境界

1044
01:10:48,570 --> 01:10:49,997
而我

1045
01:10:51,073 --> 01:10:52,916
只是一個凡人

1046
01:10:56,829 --> 01:10:57,995
皇上

1047
01:10:57,996 --> 01:11:00,465
法師又回來了

1048
01:11:04,086 --> 01:11:06,462
三藏大師途中折返

1049
01:11:06,463 --> 01:11:08,506
莫非遇到了什麼事

1050
01:11:08,507 --> 01:11:10,216
貧僧翻來覆去

1051
01:11:10,217 --> 01:11:11,259
覺得還是不要辜負

1052
01:11:11,260 --> 01:11:13,010
皇上的一番美意

1053
01:11:13,011 --> 01:11:16,314
懇請皇上賜小善陪貧僧上路

1054
01:11:17,474 --> 01:11:19,401
應該沒有問題吧

1055
01:11:21,562 --> 01:11:22,562
不過

1056
01:11:22,563 --> 01:11:23,521
不過什麼

1057
01:11:23,522 --> 01:11:26,825
本王已經跟小善愛情動作了

1058
01:11:29,361 --> 01:11:31,997
不如這樣　你再選別人吧

1059
01:11:35,409 --> 01:11:36,701
法師

1060
01:11:36,702 --> 01:11:39,337
本宮也愛莫能助了

1061
01:11:41,415 --> 01:11:44,384
這樣而已　貧僧不介意

1062
01:11:45,544 --> 01:11:47,503
小善得到皇上的指導

1063
01:11:47,504 --> 01:11:48,838
貧僧深感光榮

1064
01:11:48,839 --> 01:11:50,390
這樣你都不介意

1065
01:11:50,632 --> 01:11:51,924
絕不介意

1066
01:11:51,925 --> 01:11:53,468
你不介意

1067
01:11:53,469 --> 01:11:55,729
我介意

1068
01:11:58,682 --> 01:12:00,725
其實據本宮所知

1069
01:12:00,726 --> 01:12:02,810
昨晚小善誓死不從

1070
01:12:02,811 --> 01:12:04,520
堅決不肯做皇妃

1071
01:12:04,521 --> 01:12:07,574
還說如果逼她的話　情願一死了之

1072
01:12:08,609 --> 01:12:09,692
那就是

1073
01:12:09,693 --> 01:12:10,985
是

1074
01:12:10,986 --> 01:12:12,153
是我騙你

1075
01:12:12,154 --> 01:12:13,863
那又怎樣

1076
01:12:13,864 --> 01:12:16,866
我昨天是不是問了你八次

1077
01:12:16,867 --> 01:12:18,409
你都說你不要

1078
01:12:18,410 --> 01:12:21,287
你現在莫名其妙地回來說要

1079
01:12:21,288 --> 01:12:24,591
你要趕盡殺絕嗎

1080
01:12:24,833 --> 01:12:26,501
別那麼生氣了

1081
01:12:26,502 --> 01:12:28,252
我們捶捶腿吧

1082
01:12:28,253 --> 01:12:29,971
後宮佳麗三千人

1083
01:12:30,214 --> 01:12:33,049
個個長得跟雷劈了一樣

1084
01:12:33,050 --> 01:12:35,551
就這麼一個好看的

1085
01:12:35,552 --> 01:12:37,970
你連根骨頭都不留給我嗎

1086
01:12:37,971 --> 01:12:38,846
是

1087
01:12:38,847 --> 01:12:40,690
你這個混蛋

1088
01:12:41,642 --> 01:12:43,935
既然法師已經想清楚了

1089
01:12:43,936 --> 01:12:45,812
小善又不肯做皇妃

1090
01:12:45,813 --> 01:12:48,281
我們不如成人之美吧

1091
01:12:48,857 --> 01:12:49,690
就這麼定了

1092
01:12:49,691 --> 01:12:51,535
把小善帶上來

1093
01:12:51,777 --> 01:12:53,578
謝皇上成全

1094
01:13:35,404 --> 01:13:36,195
師父

1095
01:13:36,196 --> 01:13:37,539
喝水

1096
01:13:39,783 --> 01:13:40,950
你先喝

1097
01:13:40,951 --> 01:13:42,377
謝謝

1098
01:13:45,330 --> 01:13:47,081
悟空　你幹嘛

1099
01:13:47,082 --> 01:13:48,541
撒尿

1100
01:13:48,542 --> 01:13:50,585
有女孩子在啊　你有沒有搞錯

1101
01:13:50,586 --> 01:13:52,554
去那邊

1102
01:13:53,839 --> 01:13:55,682
小善　　　你陪我去

1103
01:13:56,300 --> 01:13:57,508
我不急啊

1104
01:13:57,509 --> 01:13:58,676
我說你急就急

1105
01:13:58,677 --> 01:14:00,020
走了

1106
01:14:01,430 --> 01:14:03,356
你等等我馬上回來

1107
01:14:05,100 --> 01:14:06,610
小師妹

1108
01:14:07,060 --> 01:14:08,403
你是誰

1109
01:14:08,562 --> 01:14:10,146
二師兄啊

1110
01:14:10,147 --> 01:14:13,241
我的真面目是不是帥得很過份呢

1111
01:14:14,902 --> 01:14:15,869
有時候

1112
01:14:16,403 --> 01:14:19,289
我一照鏡子　自己都嚇一跳

1113
01:14:19,406 --> 01:14:20,332
二師兄

1114
01:14:20,616 --> 01:14:22,500
大師兄在看你

1115
01:14:22,576 --> 01:14:24,118
所以我不能照鏡子的

1116
01:14:24,119 --> 01:14:25,629
萬一不小心照到

1117
01:14:27,539 --> 01:14:30,091
會心跳加速　猶如鹿撞

1118
01:14:40,052 --> 01:14:41,552
重口味　好

1119
01:14:41,553 --> 01:14:44,305
小善　快拿鞭子打師兄

1120
01:14:44,306 --> 01:14:46,307
調教我　凌辱我

1121
01:14:46,308 --> 01:14:49,569
蹂躪我　懲罰我　折磨我

1122
01:14:50,979 --> 01:14:52,572
你笑什麼

1123
01:14:55,025 --> 01:14:56,651
三師兄　你咳嗽了

1124
01:14:56,652 --> 01:14:58,370
喝點水吧

1125
01:14:59,529 --> 01:15:01,915
為什麼要塞著鼻子

1126
01:15:17,214 --> 01:15:18,306
好舒服啊

1127
01:15:18,382 --> 01:15:21,092
原來你打個噴嚏就變回人形

1128
01:15:21,093 --> 01:15:24,104
早知道就不用那麼辛苦拉你了

1129
01:15:24,763 --> 01:15:26,472
拜託你

1130
01:15:26,473 --> 01:15:29,058
就算你沒尿　也盡力擠一點出來

1131
01:15:29,059 --> 01:15:30,777
好好照照自己的樣子

1132
01:15:34,398 --> 01:15:36,700
帥爆了　有什麼可幫到你

1133
01:15:36,817 --> 01:15:39,619
爆你個頭啊　你頭髮都沒有

1134
01:15:39,945 --> 01:15:41,362
小善還有點姿色

1135
01:15:41,363 --> 01:15:42,822
她有什麼理由連皇后也不做

1136
01:15:42,823 --> 01:15:44,833
跟你出來啊

1137
01:15:45,242 --> 01:15:46,951
那你說為什麼呢

1138
01:15:46,952 --> 01:15:50,046
因為她是妖精　她想吃你

1139
01:15:51,581 --> 01:15:53,383
別滋過來

1140
01:15:55,168 --> 01:15:57,846
她是妖精你不早說　現在才說

1141
01:15:58,630 --> 01:16:00,297
妖精分好多類

1142
01:16:00,298 --> 01:16:01,966
有的一眼就能看出來

1143
01:16:01,967 --> 01:16:05,186
有的還真不那麼容易看出來

1144
01:16:07,931 --> 01:16:09,649
那就是沒有證據了

1145
01:16:10,308 --> 01:16:12,309
證據是要找的

1146
01:16:12,310 --> 01:16:14,186
泡妞泡傻了吧

1147
01:16:14,187 --> 01:16:16,147
大明咒　照妖鏡

1148
01:16:16,148 --> 01:16:17,565
你不是不知道吧

1149
01:16:17,566 --> 01:16:19,784
你是出來混的嗎　驅魔人

1150
01:16:44,009 --> 01:16:45,342
找什麼

1151
01:16:45,343 --> 01:16:46,853
找一面鏡子

1152
01:16:47,054 --> 01:16:48,563
我有

1153
01:16:52,392 --> 01:16:53,985
謝謝

1154
01:16:55,145 --> 01:16:57,238
這面鏡子發光的

1155
01:17:01,526 --> 01:17:02,869
壞了嗎

1156
01:17:03,653 --> 01:17:04,829
沒壞啊

1157
01:17:09,701 --> 01:17:11,336
玩夠了嗎

1158
01:17:11,661 --> 01:17:13,463
小善過來　我幫你梳頭

1159
01:17:23,131 --> 01:17:24,808
你幹嘛

1160
01:17:25,675 --> 01:17:27,093
只要將妖精的血滴上去

1161
01:17:27,094 --> 01:17:28,686
就會冒煙

1162
01:17:30,597 --> 01:17:31,430
沒有啊

1163
01:17:31,431 --> 01:17:32,765
不可能

1164
01:17:32,766 --> 01:17:34,266
閉嘴吧你　驅魔人

1165
01:17:34,267 --> 01:17:36,227
大家冷靜一下　　　如果不是　你是哪裏人

1166
01:17:36,228 --> 01:17:37,987
我是河口村人

1167
01:17:38,438 --> 01:17:39,230
河口村

1168
01:17:39,231 --> 01:17:40,481
河口村就在那邊

1169
01:17:40,482 --> 01:17:42,108
敢不敢跟我們走一趟

1170
01:17:42,109 --> 01:17:43,692
我從沒見過妖精有家人的

1171
01:17:43,693 --> 01:17:45,203
去就去

1172
01:17:54,412 --> 01:17:57,081
小善　你好久沒回來了

1173
01:17:57,082 --> 01:18:00,552
娘　我是跟大唐的高僧去取經修行

1174
01:18:01,962 --> 01:18:03,921
你看這一家人多好

1175
01:18:03,922 --> 01:18:05,890
還不快跟小善道歉

1176
01:18:05,966 --> 01:18:08,226
道歉　想得美

1177
01:18:16,309 --> 01:18:17,735
爹

1178
01:18:22,649 --> 01:18:25,151
妖女　請了那麼多臨時演員回來

1179
01:18:25,152 --> 01:18:26,068
你好下本啊

1180
01:18:26,069 --> 01:18:28,070
我不知道我和你之間有什麼誤會

1181
01:18:28,071 --> 01:18:29,446
我求求你放了我娘親

1182
01:18:29,447 --> 01:18:31,490
放我家人一條生路

1183
01:18:31,491 --> 01:18:34,160
大師兄你別衝動　先放手

1184
01:18:34,161 --> 01:18:35,503
娘

1185
01:18:35,579 --> 01:18:37,997
師兄不要這樣　師父只是照顧師妹

1186
01:18:37,998 --> 01:18:39,174
不代表他不疼你

1187
01:18:39,457 --> 01:18:41,259
你不要嫉妒她了

1188
01:18:41,543 --> 01:18:42,927
嫉妒

1189
01:18:43,837 --> 01:18:45,680
都給我閉嘴

1190
01:18:48,675 --> 01:18:51,102
娘　快走

1191
01:18:52,137 --> 01:18:54,180
你要我說多少次才會信我

1192
01:18:54,181 --> 01:18:55,472
這個女人是妖精

1193
01:18:55,473 --> 01:18:56,682
她們串通好來害你的

1194
01:18:56,683 --> 01:18:58,359
明明小善家有老小

1195
01:18:58,393 --> 01:19:00,612
你還要冤枉他們

1196
01:19:00,979 --> 01:19:02,897
現在害人的是你

1197
01:19:02,898 --> 01:19:04,190
你才是妖精

1198
01:19:04,191 --> 01:19:06,775
你是不是信她　不信我

1199
01:19:06,776 --> 01:19:07,943
是

1200
01:19:07,944 --> 01:19:08,944
好

1201
01:19:08,945 --> 01:19:10,413
那我殺了她

1202
01:19:16,828 --> 01:19:19,214
你居然為了一隻妖精打我

1203
01:19:19,539 --> 01:19:20,789
是不是我喜歡的女人

1204
01:19:20,790 --> 01:19:22,166
都要像段小姐

1205
01:19:22,167 --> 01:19:23,885
那樣死在你手上

1206
01:19:24,336 --> 01:19:26,179
終於說出來了

1207
01:19:30,091 --> 01:19:32,259
原來這事你一直都記住

1208
01:19:32,260 --> 01:19:34,011
我當然記住

1209
01:19:34,012 --> 01:19:35,054
我永遠都會記住

1210
01:19:35,055 --> 01:19:37,857
她是怎麼被你活生生打死的

1211
01:19:38,433 --> 01:19:40,401
我以為你真把我當兄弟

1212
01:19:40,602 --> 01:19:41,903
兄弟

1213
01:19:42,020 --> 01:19:44,647
天天跟你這個變態殺人狂在一起

1214
01:19:44,648 --> 01:19:47,650
我不跟你裝兄弟　我能怎麼辦

1215
01:19:47,651 --> 01:19:49,860
你　死十次都不嫌多

1216
01:19:49,861 --> 01:19:52,196
我希望你下地獄　永不超生

1217
01:19:52,197 --> 01:19:53,456
好

1218
01:19:53,531 --> 01:19:55,458
這個世界不是朋友

1219
01:19:55,700 --> 01:19:57,669
就是敵人了

1220
01:19:58,536 --> 01:20:00,213
我們從頭到尾都是敵人

1221
01:20:00,538 --> 01:20:01,965
滾

1222
01:20:02,040 --> 01:20:04,968
趁我今天心情好　你有多遠滾多遠

1223
01:20:05,794 --> 01:20:07,419
你今天心情好　是吧

1224
01:20:07,420 --> 01:20:09,255
你們給我聽著

1225
01:20:09,256 --> 01:20:11,632
一路以來　我殺的妖

1226
01:20:11,633 --> 01:20:12,675
降的魔

1227
01:20:12,676 --> 01:20:14,519
全都是為了他

1228
01:20:14,678 --> 01:20:16,845
而我這治不好的偏頭痛

1229
01:20:16,846 --> 01:20:18,764
和滿身的鞭痕

1230
01:20:18,765 --> 01:20:21,025
全都是他賜給我的

1231
01:20:21,268 --> 01:20:22,685
我欠他的

1232
01:20:22,686 --> 01:20:24,654
已經還清了

1233
01:20:24,729 --> 01:20:27,865
他欠我的　也不必再還

1234
01:20:28,066 --> 01:20:30,317
從今以後　你我師徒二人

1235
01:20:30,318 --> 01:20:32,036
恩斷義絕

1236
01:20:33,280 --> 01:20:34,998
大師兄　　　不要理他

1237
01:20:42,914 --> 01:20:44,173
爹

1238
01:21:08,565 --> 01:21:10,065
小善　他們怎樣了

1239
01:21:10,066 --> 01:21:13,494
敷了藥休息了　希望沒事

1240
01:21:14,070 --> 01:21:17,281
算了吧　這事與你無關

1241
01:21:17,282 --> 01:21:19,542
誰是段小姐

1242
01:21:23,038 --> 01:21:25,256
段小姐也是驅魔人

1243
01:21:25,832 --> 01:21:28,551
我們一起經歷過生生死死

1244
01:21:28,710 --> 01:21:30,178
其實我很愛她

1245
01:21:30,503 --> 01:21:33,014
不過我從來都不敢承認

1246
01:21:33,506 --> 01:21:34,465
直到那天

1247
01:21:34,466 --> 01:21:35,924
我親眼看到她被悟空

1248
01:21:35,925 --> 01:21:37,644
活生生打死

1249
01:21:37,844 --> 01:21:39,562
一切已經太遲了

1250
01:21:40,221 --> 01:21:42,023
是我辜負了她

1251
01:21:42,599 --> 01:21:45,309
如果你再遇到一個喜歡的人

1252
01:21:45,310 --> 01:21:47,195
你還會辜負她嗎

1253
01:21:53,943 --> 01:21:56,788
其實我的理想很簡單

1254
01:21:57,530 --> 01:21:59,749
找一個如意郎君

1255
01:22:00,241 --> 01:22:03,920
組織一個小家庭　生一個小寶貝

1256
01:22:04,621 --> 01:22:07,048
然後簡簡單單地過生活

1257
01:22:10,460 --> 01:22:11,928
那個人

1258
01:22:12,003 --> 01:22:13,513
就是你

1259
01:22:36,361 --> 01:22:37,653
師父　出事了

1260
01:22:37,654 --> 01:22:38,654
大師兄他瘋了

1261
01:22:38,655 --> 01:22:41,416
見人就殺　我們攔都攔不住

1262
01:22:52,836 --> 01:22:54,044
悟能　悟淨

1263
01:22:54,045 --> 01:22:55,337
你們快去看看　還有沒有人能救活

1264
01:22:55,338 --> 01:22:57,306
娘　爹

1265
01:23:06,683 --> 01:23:09,610
爹　娘

1266
01:23:09,853 --> 01:23:12,771
殺了那麼多人你還笑得出來

1267
01:23:12,772 --> 01:23:14,657
你是著魔了嗎

1268
01:23:15,108 --> 01:23:17,577
我殺的那些　全部都是妖精

1269
01:23:18,069 --> 01:23:19,528
算了吧

1270
01:23:19,529 --> 01:23:21,122
反正我說什麼你都不信

1271
01:23:22,198 --> 01:23:23,407
再殺最後一隻

1272
01:23:23,408 --> 01:23:24,917
收工

1273
01:23:27,745 --> 01:23:28,662
你不要逼我

1274
01:23:28,663 --> 01:23:31,215
為了這個妖女　你命都不要了嗎

1275
01:23:31,291 --> 01:23:32,666
我不會再讓你傷害

1276
01:23:32,667 --> 01:23:34,334
我喜歡的人

1277
01:23:34,335 --> 01:23:36,846
沒救了　你才是著了魔　死開

1278
01:23:39,340 --> 01:23:40,433
你夠了吧

1279
01:23:41,593 --> 01:23:42,551
好啊

1280
01:23:42,552 --> 01:23:44,803
既然你想死　我就成全你

1281
01:23:44,804 --> 01:23:47,607
（孩子　孩子　為何你）

1282
01:23:47,891 --> 01:23:49,850
（孩子　孩子）

1283
01:23:49,851 --> 01:23:52,227
（為何你這麼壞）

1284
01:23:52,228 --> 01:23:54,322
我替你唱

1285
01:23:57,192 --> 01:23:58,242
如來神掌

1286
01:24:02,363 --> 01:24:04,448
如來神掌　還在裝

1287
01:24:04,449 --> 01:24:06,000
你懂個球

1288
01:24:09,746 --> 01:24:12,507
死也不信我　死仆街

1289
01:24:15,627 --> 01:24:16,835
不要啊

1290
01:24:16,836 --> 01:24:19,004
你不要再打你師父了

1291
01:24:19,005 --> 01:24:21,474
我求求你不要再打了

1292
01:24:23,801 --> 01:24:25,469
我被你感動到了

1293
01:24:25,470 --> 01:24:27,146
那我就先殺了你

1294
01:24:36,606 --> 01:24:38,991
死禿驢　不死也沒用

1295
01:24:39,692 --> 01:24:42,569
不要再打了　不要打了

1296
01:24:42,570 --> 01:24:45,081
我承認　我是妖精

1297
01:24:45,907 --> 01:24:46,698
我其實就是

1298
01:24:46,699 --> 01:24:49,284
一堆白骨化成的妖精

1299
01:24:49,285 --> 01:24:51,796
整條村都是我變出來的幻象

1300
01:24:52,247 --> 01:24:53,789
你現在聽到了嗎

1301
01:24:53,790 --> 01:24:57,751
當年我跟未婚夫在路上遇到山賊

1302
01:24:57,752 --> 01:25:00,963
我最心愛的人居然丟下我自己跑了

1303
01:25:00,964 --> 01:25:02,265
讓我受盡凌辱

1304
01:25:04,801 --> 01:25:07,979
山賊將我蹂躪之後就棄屍荒野

1305
01:25:09,138 --> 01:25:11,557
直至化成一堆白骨

1306
01:25:11,558 --> 01:25:14,318
我的怨氣到現在還沒有散

1307
01:25:19,691 --> 01:25:22,451
其實我只是一堆白骨

1308
01:25:23,987 --> 01:25:25,496
對不起

1309
01:26:09,657 --> 01:26:11,742
出事了　師父掛了　不用取經了

1310
01:26:11,743 --> 01:26:13,377
太好了

1311
01:26:42,231 --> 01:26:44,116
全部搞定了

1312
01:26:44,150 --> 01:26:46,327
九宮真人　你真厲害

1313
01:26:47,904 --> 01:26:50,030
這隻猴子魔性大發

1314
01:26:50,031 --> 01:26:52,041
現在牠連師父也吃了

1315
01:26:53,826 --> 01:26:56,078
如來這次肯定被氣死

1316
01:26:56,079 --> 01:26:57,588
解說完了嗎

1317
01:26:59,707 --> 01:27:02,510
本宮有一個夢想

1318
01:27:02,627 --> 01:27:03,627
就是要令世間

1319
01:27:03,628 --> 01:27:05,796
所有虛偽醜陋的面目

1320
01:27:05,797 --> 01:27:07,765
原形畢露

1321
01:27:08,800 --> 01:27:10,550
小善　不用躲

1322
01:27:10,551 --> 01:27:12,761
來來來　出來

1323
01:27:12,762 --> 01:27:14,897
你這齣離間計演得不錯

1324
01:27:15,139 --> 01:27:17,891
本宮知道你對唐僧也動了真情

1325
01:27:17,892 --> 01:27:20,194
也算是隨心隨性

1326
01:27:20,478 --> 01:27:24,532
這正是本宮所提倡的大無上智慧

1327
01:27:26,025 --> 01:27:29,245
這一大坨就是傳說中的齊天大聖

1328
01:27:29,529 --> 01:27:31,196
好可愛啊

1329
01:27:31,197 --> 01:27:33,916
來　吃不吃啊

1330
01:27:41,416 --> 01:27:44,677
好　養起來以後慢慢玩

1331
01:27:45,044 --> 01:27:46,002
好

1332
01:27:46,003 --> 01:27:46,878
六隻手

1333
01:27:46,879 --> 01:27:50,391
一二三四五六

1334
01:27:52,677 --> 01:27:54,478
到我了

1335
01:28:08,317 --> 01:28:10,411
什麼妖魔之王

1336
01:28:10,445 --> 01:28:12,320
我隨便咳了兩聲

1337
01:28:12,321 --> 01:28:14,498
就把你嚇得腿軟了

1338
01:28:16,534 --> 01:28:17,877
還不叫主人

1339
01:28:18,453 --> 01:28:20,120
你乖乖聽話吧

1340
01:28:20,121 --> 01:28:22,173
否則　家法伺候

1341
01:28:49,609 --> 01:28:51,827
你終於露出狐狸尾巴了

1342
01:28:52,111 --> 01:28:53,153
哪有

1343
01:28:53,154 --> 01:28:55,247
我的尾巴都藏好了

1344
01:28:55,990 --> 01:28:57,416
和尚

1345
01:28:57,492 --> 01:28:59,826
是你的尾巴露出來了

1346
01:28:59,827 --> 01:29:02,213
你跟白骨精卿卿我我的樣子

1347
01:29:02,580 --> 01:29:04,164
動了凡心吧

1348
01:29:04,165 --> 01:29:06,208
小善她善性未泯

1349
01:29:06,209 --> 01:29:09,220
我要超渡她向善　讓她投胎做人

1350
01:29:09,378 --> 01:29:10,721
你有離間計

1351
01:29:10,797 --> 01:29:12,881
我們也有反間計

1352
01:29:12,882 --> 01:29:16,468
傳說中白骨精的妖氣是無人能看出

1353
01:29:16,469 --> 01:29:17,552
你以為找到她

1354
01:29:17,553 --> 01:29:19,855
就可以離間我們師徒倆

1355
01:29:19,889 --> 01:29:22,641
你太低估悟空的金睛火眼了

1356
01:29:22,642 --> 01:29:25,435
整條村子都是白骨精變出來的幻象

1357
01:29:25,436 --> 01:29:26,904
我們早就知道了

1358
01:29:27,230 --> 01:29:30,524
我們裝作不知　順著這場戲演下去

1359
01:29:30,525 --> 01:29:32,818
就是要讓你這個幕後黑手現身

1360
01:29:32,819 --> 01:29:33,527
九宮

1361
01:29:33,528 --> 01:29:35,538
再告訴你一件事

1362
01:29:35,696 --> 01:29:37,873
其實我是很聰明的

1363
01:29:43,913 --> 01:29:45,580
聰明

1364
01:29:45,581 --> 01:29:48,300
笨和尚也有大智慧

1365
01:29:49,627 --> 01:29:52,596
憑你們幾個又能把我怎麼著

1366
01:29:54,549 --> 01:29:55,975
打他

1367
01:29:56,384 --> 01:29:58,060
打他

1368
01:30:43,639 --> 01:30:46,525
師父　捉住我的尾巴

1369
01:30:50,438 --> 01:30:51,605
小善

1370
01:30:51,606 --> 01:30:53,782
危險　快躲好

1371
01:30:56,235 --> 01:30:58,871
我是齊天大聖

1372
01:30:58,905 --> 01:31:01,248
妖精　看你怎麼逃

1373
01:31:07,413 --> 01:31:10,290
臭猴子　這麼一個笨和尚

1374
01:31:10,291 --> 01:31:12,301
值得你為他賣命嗎

1375
01:31:12,960 --> 01:31:14,377
師父她揭你老底

1376
01:31:14,378 --> 01:31:15,921
她說你笨

1377
01:31:15,922 --> 01:31:18,599
你別聽她亂說　其實我很聰明的

1378
01:31:19,133 --> 01:31:20,601
接招

1379
01:31:20,843 --> 01:31:22,228
擋我

1380
01:31:22,386 --> 01:31:23,854
擋得了嗎

1381
01:31:29,644 --> 01:31:31,061
孫悟空

1382
01:31:31,062 --> 01:31:32,905
你的剋星來了

1383
01:31:51,749 --> 01:31:53,291
如來佛祖

1384
01:31:53,292 --> 01:31:56,553
如來都請來了　九宮你好大的面子

1385
01:32:08,474 --> 01:32:09,891
沒可能的

1386
01:32:09,892 --> 01:32:11,184
他是假的

1387
01:32:11,185 --> 01:32:14,062
對啊　鼻子和下巴好像動過

1388
01:32:14,063 --> 01:32:15,864
孫悟空

1389
01:32:16,148 --> 01:32:18,566
你不是見識過如來的威力嗎

1390
01:32:18,567 --> 01:32:20,536
來驗驗貨就知道了

1391
01:32:22,780 --> 01:32:25,708
好　看我定海神針

1392
01:32:35,376 --> 01:32:38,721
水再大　也大不過東海

1393
01:33:04,196 --> 01:33:06,874
師父　躲到我耳朵裏

1394
01:33:51,243 --> 01:33:52,795
兩個如來

1395
01:34:27,113 --> 01:34:29,039
悟空　悟空

1396
01:35:52,823 --> 01:35:55,033
九頭金雕

1397
01:35:55,034 --> 01:35:57,753
你在我身邊練法修行

1398
01:35:58,495 --> 01:36:01,006
但是一點悟性都沒有

1399
01:36:01,457 --> 01:36:05,511
難怪亂闖人間散播歪理

1400
01:36:06,670 --> 01:36:08,046
如來

1401
01:36:08,047 --> 01:36:09,881
我為你而生

1402
01:36:09,882 --> 01:36:13,143
這麼多年來我在你身邊

1403
01:36:13,344 --> 01:36:15,720
可你沒有正眼看過我一次

1404
01:36:15,721 --> 01:36:17,272
無需多言

1405
01:36:18,307 --> 01:36:21,568
九頭金雕　現形

1406
01:37:01,016 --> 01:37:02,734
你要振作　小善

1407
01:37:02,851 --> 01:37:04,861
我現在幫你驅除魔性

1408
01:37:06,272 --> 01:37:08,106
魔性太重

1409
01:37:08,107 --> 01:37:09,983
就算救了我

1410
01:37:09,984 --> 01:37:12,452
也難保我不會害人

1411
01:37:12,653 --> 01:37:14,288
你是伏妖高僧

1412
01:37:14,488 --> 01:37:16,164
我是妖

1413
01:37:16,282 --> 01:37:18,166
超渡我

1414
01:37:20,911 --> 01:37:22,296
她說得對

1415
01:37:22,454 --> 01:37:25,882
她怨恨太深　只能灰飛煙滅

1416
01:37:28,127 --> 01:37:29,720
小善

1417
01:37:30,212 --> 01:37:34,224
世上最難過的　是情關

1418
01:37:36,719 --> 01:37:40,346
她　在你心裏

1419
01:37:40,347 --> 01:37:42,482
是無比地重要

1420
01:37:42,599 --> 01:37:44,151
如果

1421
01:37:44,768 --> 01:37:48,855
我也可以給你留一點點回憶的話

1422
01:37:48,856 --> 01:37:50,490
就心滿意足了

1423
01:37:55,362 --> 01:37:56,779
不要看著我

1424
01:37:56,780 --> 01:37:58,698
這種事你自己來吧

1425
01:37:58,699 --> 01:38:01,376
免得日後你又怪我殺了你的妞

1426
01:38:01,827 --> 01:38:03,337
走了

1427
01:38:07,666 --> 01:38:09,343
其實我

1428
01:38:09,376 --> 01:38:11,803
真的愛上了你

1429
01:38:12,963 --> 01:38:15,474
你有沒有愛過我一點點

1430
01:38:18,385 --> 01:38:19,853
對不起

1431
01:38:19,970 --> 01:38:21,647
我心裏面

1432
01:38:21,972 --> 01:38:24,149
再容納不了第二個了

1433
01:38:25,517 --> 01:38:27,611
我覺得我真的好傻

1434
01:38:28,687 --> 01:38:30,104
明知沒有

1435
01:38:30,105 --> 01:38:31,657
還要問

1436
01:38:35,944 --> 01:38:37,454
小善

1437
01:38:39,531 --> 01:38:41,375
我要送你上路了

1438
01:39:37,423 --> 01:39:39,507
師父　聊兩句

1439
01:39:39,508 --> 01:39:42,394
你到底有沒有對小善姑娘動過情啊

1440
01:39:44,430 --> 01:39:46,064
我問你啊

1441
01:39:46,181 --> 01:39:48,900
你到底有沒有對小善動過情啊

1442
01:39:50,436 --> 01:39:51,644
當然沒有了

1443
01:39:51,645 --> 01:39:53,530
我心裏只有你一個人

1444
01:39:53,605 --> 01:39:54,939
只有我一個

1445
01:39:54,940 --> 01:39:55,898
大師兄

1446
01:39:55,899 --> 01:39:58,359
其實你頭上的金剛箍是段小姐的

1447
01:39:58,360 --> 01:39:59,569
師父是追憶成狂

1448
01:39:59,570 --> 01:40:01,279
整天把你當成段小姐

1449
01:40:01,280 --> 01:40:03,749
你看他嘴角含春又來了

1450
01:40:04,074 --> 01:40:05,667
不是吧

1451
01:40:07,995 --> 01:40:09,921
不是吧

1452
01:40:10,956 --> 01:40:13,425
你不是連我也不信吧

1453
01:40:17,171 --> 01:40:20,640
有沒有動過情　你還沒回答我

1454
01:40:21,091 --> 01:40:24,093
當然沒有了　你這麼問是多餘的

1455
01:40:24,094 --> 01:40:25,720
你真覺得我會說有嗎

1456
01:40:25,721 --> 01:40:27,263
為什麼你們老是要這樣問

1457
01:40:27,264 --> 01:40:29,682
那就是有了　賤人

1458
01:40:29,683 --> 01:40:31,067
賤人

1459
01:40:39,067 --> 01:40:41,068
這樣不是辦法　先拿回金剛箍

1460
01:40:41,069 --> 01:40:42,829
免得再給她追問

1461
01:40:43,906 --> 01:40:45,457
你幹嘛

1462
01:40:45,532 --> 01:40:46,699
把箍還給我

1463
01:40:46,700 --> 01:40:48,659
你給了我　就是我的了

1464
01:40:48,660 --> 01:40:51,037
不合適你　你戴得好難看

1465
01:40:51,038 --> 01:40:52,955
你早說　我就還給你

1466
01:40:52,956 --> 01:40:54,582
那你給啊　你還走

1467
01:40:54,583 --> 01:40:56,584
說了給你　是不是不信我

1468
01:40:56,585 --> 01:40:58,336
你不要再說了　你給我吧

1469
01:40:58,337 --> 01:40:59,295
我還沒給你嗎

1470
01:40:59,296 --> 01:41:01,297
你沒給　只是嘴上說給我

1471
01:41:01,298 --> 01:41:02,798
是啊　我說了給你的

1472
01:41:02,799 --> 01:41:05,301
對啊　你只是一直說但從來沒給我

1473
01:41:05,302 --> 01:41:06,886
有這樣的事　不是吧

1474
01:41:06,887 --> 01:41:08,596
是真的　你信我一次好不好

1475
01:41:08,597 --> 01:41:09,439
我不信

1476
01:47:57,839 --> 01:47:58,756
走吧

1477
01:47:58,757 --> 01:48:00,716
等等　還有彩蛋看

1478
01:48:00,717 --> 01:48:02,801
沒有彩蛋啊　不要等啦

1479
01:48:02,802 --> 01:48:04,470
請帶齊隨身物品

1480
01:48:04,471 --> 01:48:06,856
多謝大家　出口在那邊

1481
01:48:07,057 --> 01:48:09,516
大片一定有彩蛋的

1482
01:48:09,517 --> 01:48:11,226
不是大片

1483
01:48:11,227 --> 01:48:13,029
所以沒有彩蛋

1484
01:48:14,189 --> 01:48:15,564
我再重複一次

1485
01:48:15,565 --> 01:48:17,232
不是大片

1486
01:48:17,233 --> 01:48:18,952
沒有彩蛋

1487
01:48:19,486 --> 01:48:21,371
如果是大片

1488
01:48:21,780 --> 01:48:23,373
又怎會沒有彩蛋呢