1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:04,043 - This programme contains some strong language. 2 00:00:04,043 --> 00:00:06,563 - You're always sticking up for him, fighting all his battles. 3 00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:08,243 - Going in two-footed, playing the bully. 4 00:00:08,243 --> 00:00:10,523 - We're not arguing about who's going to be your best man. 5 00:00:10,523 --> 00:00:12,603 Though, to be clear, if it was me, it'd be an honour. 6 00:00:12,603 --> 00:00:15,203 - How about we all go out somewhere? - That sounds nice. 7 00:00:15,203 --> 00:00:17,323 - Is yours done yet? 8 00:00:17,323 --> 00:00:20,203 - I don't want to bring someone into Joe's life without asking you first, 9 00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,643 and I would want the same. 10 00:00:21,643 --> 00:00:23,523 - Say the first thing that comes into your head. 11 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:25,883 - Would you like to meet up some time? - Oh, right... 12 00:00:25,883 --> 00:00:28,483 - I think you're keeping your distance because you don't approve. 13 00:00:28,483 --> 00:00:30,203 - I didn't want to be... 14 00:00:30,203 --> 00:00:32,643 ..my usual controlling self. 15 00:00:32,643 --> 00:00:34,483 - Just tell me you're ashamed of me! 16 00:00:34,483 --> 00:00:36,763 - I could never be ashamed of you! 17 00:00:41,163 --> 00:00:43,163 - End of an era. 18 00:00:43,163 --> 00:00:46,443 All those memories, eh? - Yeah. 19 00:00:46,443 --> 00:00:48,163 - I bet you're as choked up as I am. 20 00:00:48,163 --> 00:00:49,523 - Yeah. 21 00:00:50,523 --> 00:00:52,483 We need suits. 22 00:00:52,483 --> 00:00:54,603 Wedding suits. - Do we? 23 00:00:56,843 --> 00:00:58,603 We do! 24 00:00:58,603 --> 00:01:00,523 Thanks, pal. I won't let you down. 25 00:01:00,523 --> 00:01:03,363 You know, when Eddie married Nicola, he had Paul as his best man. 26 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:05,083 And we all know how that marriage ended up. 27 00:01:05,083 --> 00:01:06,323 I tell you what... 28 00:01:06,323 --> 00:01:09,243 ..I'll buy the suits. My treat. - If you like. 29 00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:11,403 - We can't have the groom and his best man 30 00:01:11,403 --> 00:01:14,323 looking like a pair of scruff bags, eh? 31 00:01:14,323 --> 00:01:15,843 - Ralph! 32 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,123 All right? 33 00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:23,243 How's it going, man? - Not bad, you? 34 00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:26,483 - Yeah, not bad, man... - Bloody London. 35 00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:31,363 - MUSIC: Trampolene by Julian Cope 36 00:01:33,043 --> 00:01:37,323 - # Well, I stand at every corner of the world 37 00:01:38,483 --> 00:01:44,363 # And I stand in every corner of your heart 38 00:01:44,363 --> 00:01:47,883 # And I give you everything that I call love 39 00:01:49,683 --> 00:01:53,683 # From the heavens to the bottom of the sea 40 00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:58,603 - # Trampolene! I can't believe you're trampling me 41 00:01:58,603 --> 00:02:01,483 # Trampolene! I can't believe you're trampling me 42 00:02:01,483 --> 00:02:04,563 # You tell it to me softly then you disagree 43 00:02:09,803 --> 00:02:15,723 - # Well, I stand at heaven's gate Come see me cry 44 00:02:15,723 --> 00:02:18,963 # Heaven's gate is locked They will not let me by 45 00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:25,243 - # So I walk a little mile into your dream 46 00:02:26,523 --> 00:02:29,083 # And tell me what is on your mind 47 00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:31,003 # My trampolene 48 00:02:32,403 --> 00:02:35,203 # Trampolene! I can't believe you're trampling me 49 00:02:35,203 --> 00:02:38,203 # Trampolene! I can't believe you're trampling me 50 00:02:38,203 --> 00:02:41,083 # Trampolene! I can't believe you're trampling me 51 00:02:41,083 --> 00:02:43,683 # You tell it to me softly then you'll disagree 52 00:02:43,683 --> 00:02:45,923 # Trampolene! I can't believe you're trampling... # 53 00:02:45,923 --> 00:02:47,323 - OK, see you later. 54 00:02:47,323 --> 00:02:49,843 - Good morning, Britney. Good morning, Blaze. 55 00:02:49,843 --> 00:02:53,683 - Good morning, Zebra Class. - ALL: - Good morning, Heather. 56 00:02:53,683 --> 00:02:57,683 - Good morning. OK, so whose turn is it to show the timetable today? 57 00:02:57,683 --> 00:03:00,283 - Me! - Me. - Me! - Oh, so many volunteers! 58 00:03:00,283 --> 00:03:02,003 I think it's Stacey's turn. 59 00:03:02,003 --> 00:03:03,803 - ALL: - Awww! 60 00:03:03,803 --> 00:03:06,083 - I think it is. There you go, Stacey. 61 00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:08,243 So, what day is it today, can anyone tell me? 62 00:03:08,243 --> 00:03:09,483 - Wednesday. - Wednesday! 63 00:03:09,483 --> 00:03:12,843 - Wednesday! OK, so good morning first, yeah. 64 00:03:12,843 --> 00:03:15,443 Then? Circle time. 65 00:03:15,443 --> 00:03:17,043 - Snack! - Snack. 66 00:03:17,043 --> 00:03:18,523 - Snack, favourite bit. 67 00:03:18,523 --> 00:03:20,803 - Tidy up. - And then outside. 68 00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:24,003 - Outside, yes, if we've all done very well. 69 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,923 OK, thank you, everybody. 70 00:03:25,923 --> 00:03:27,763 So, after circle time, 71 00:03:27,763 --> 00:03:33,323 Joe's mum, Alison, is going to be telling us all about tomorrow. 72 00:03:33,323 --> 00:03:36,243 - Oh! - Great! 73 00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:39,523 - So, your first stop is going to be with this man, 74 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,123 and he's called Maurice, and he's a fireman. 75 00:03:42,123 --> 00:03:44,163 - Where's Maurice's...? 76 00:03:44,163 --> 00:03:46,643 - This is Maurice here, and he's also Joe's grandad. 77 00:03:47,763 --> 00:03:49,483 - Well done, Joe! 78 00:03:49,483 --> 00:03:51,443 - And so you have to say hello, 79 00:03:51,443 --> 00:03:54,723 and you tell him your name, and then he's going to tell you his name. 80 00:03:54,723 --> 00:03:57,203 And he'll give you a reward. 81 00:03:57,203 --> 00:03:59,363 And then what else will he do, Joe? 82 00:04:00,763 --> 00:04:02,443 - Point. 83 00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:04,883 - It's rude to point! - It is. 84 00:04:04,883 --> 00:04:07,603 It's rude to point. But, he's not going to be pointing at you. 85 00:04:07,603 --> 00:04:10,963 He's going to be pointing the way to the next station. 86 00:04:10,963 --> 00:04:14,723 - Oh, the bakery. - It's the best one, isn't it? 87 00:04:14,723 --> 00:04:16,683 - And then we go around... 88 00:04:16,683 --> 00:04:21,003 - Yeah. And Heather and I, we're going to walk all the way round with you. 89 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,603 All the way round. 90 00:04:22,603 --> 00:04:25,243 And the Aardvark Class are going to come, too, so we can raise 91 00:04:25,243 --> 00:04:27,003 lots of money for the new minibus. 92 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:33,323 Right, everyone, next rehearsal is a run-through of the wedding song, 93 00:04:33,323 --> 00:04:35,523 so I need a full attendance, please. 94 00:04:35,523 --> 00:04:37,843 I've put the arrangements in the baritone 95 00:04:37,843 --> 00:04:39,963 and the soprano parts on the website. 96 00:04:39,963 --> 00:04:43,363 - Maurice, I just wanted to give you these. - I really can't... 97 00:04:43,363 --> 00:04:45,163 - No, they're not for you. 98 00:04:45,163 --> 00:04:47,483 They're, er, for your Rebecca. 99 00:04:47,483 --> 00:04:50,883 How far along is she now? - Er, seven months. 100 00:04:50,883 --> 00:04:55,883 - These are apparently all the rage at ante-natal classes. 101 00:04:55,883 --> 00:04:59,563 It helps with demonstrating latching on. 102 00:04:59,563 --> 00:05:02,123 I got a bit abstract with the colours. - Right. 103 00:05:02,123 --> 00:05:05,163 Well, thanks very much. - I think she only needs one for the class 104 00:05:05,163 --> 00:05:08,363 but, erm, I've made a pair just to be on the safe side. 105 00:05:08,363 --> 00:05:11,883 One's knitted and the other's crocheted. 106 00:05:11,883 --> 00:05:13,683 - Well, it's nice to have a choice. 107 00:05:15,563 --> 00:05:18,083 Er, they're for Rebecca. - Oh. 108 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,483 - Thanks, Grandad. - Oh, lovely. 109 00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:26,523 - They'll be an ice-breaker if nothing else. 110 00:05:26,523 --> 00:05:28,403 - Did you make these yourself? 111 00:05:28,403 --> 00:05:30,923 - They're all the rage at the ante-natal clubs. 112 00:05:30,923 --> 00:05:33,803 - Well, what time's your class? - 4.30. Why, do you want to come? 113 00:05:33,803 --> 00:05:35,203 - Yeah, no, yeah... 114 00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:37,723 I will if you really want me to, of course I will... - I'm joking. 115 00:05:37,723 --> 00:05:39,283 I know the thought terrifies ya. 116 00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:41,523 Tom's coming. He's going to hand out business cards. 117 00:05:41,523 --> 00:05:43,323 - Oh, right. 118 00:05:43,323 --> 00:05:45,403 Well, as long as he's doing it for the right reasons, 119 00:05:45,403 --> 00:05:46,563 that's the main thing. 120 00:05:48,763 --> 00:05:50,123 What about you? 121 00:05:51,963 --> 00:05:53,443 - What about me? 122 00:05:53,443 --> 00:05:55,323 - Does the thought terrify you? 123 00:05:55,323 --> 00:05:56,803 - Bit late for that, in't it? 124 00:05:58,403 --> 00:06:00,203 - Is this a cry for help, Maurice? 125 00:06:01,763 --> 00:06:03,643 - They're all the rage apparently. 126 00:06:15,123 --> 00:06:16,723 - There's a customer. 127 00:06:16,723 --> 00:06:18,763 - I hate to be a stickler, but you are the waiter. 128 00:06:18,763 --> 00:06:20,123 - She would like you. 129 00:06:32,323 --> 00:06:35,403 - Sure you don't want to sit in? - Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you. 130 00:06:39,843 --> 00:06:42,283 So... 131 00:06:42,283 --> 00:06:45,603 I-I expect you're wondering why I didn't call... 132 00:06:45,603 --> 00:06:48,123 ..after our early morning chat at the camping... - No, no. 133 00:06:48,123 --> 00:06:49,963 I get it. 134 00:06:49,963 --> 00:06:53,243 Euphoria of the barbecue. Words said in haste. 135 00:06:53,243 --> 00:06:57,323 The heady perfume of the chemical toilet. 136 00:06:57,323 --> 00:07:00,603 - I-I was just...waiting for the right event. 137 00:07:00,603 --> 00:07:03,603 There's a talk at the library. 138 00:07:03,603 --> 00:07:06,323 - At the library, eh? - Mm. A travel writer. 139 00:07:06,323 --> 00:07:10,563 He trekked through Nepal and lost three toes to frostbite. 140 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,443 I thought if we had something stimulating, we'd... 141 00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:16,723 We'd have a catalyst for conversation. - Sarah... 142 00:07:16,723 --> 00:07:19,083 ..you had me at library. 143 00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:20,443 - Right. 144 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,523 Does that mean you want to come then? - Yes, yes. 145 00:07:25,523 --> 00:07:27,323 Yeah. It was a joke. 146 00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:29,603 End of, er, Top Gun. - Oh. 147 00:07:29,603 --> 00:07:31,603 - Jerry Maguire. 148 00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:33,403 - Jerry Maguire. 149 00:07:36,243 --> 00:07:39,403 Yes, I think that'd be lovely. 150 00:07:39,403 --> 00:07:41,323 - I-I brought a leaflet. 151 00:07:41,323 --> 00:07:43,683 Just in case you said yes. 152 00:07:43,683 --> 00:07:45,843 - Great. 153 00:07:45,843 --> 00:07:47,323 Tomorrow? 154 00:07:47,323 --> 00:07:48,763 Oh, shit. 155 00:07:48,763 --> 00:07:51,323 Oh... 156 00:07:51,323 --> 00:07:54,123 I'm at Joe's sponsored walk, in Manchester, tomorrow. 157 00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:56,003 - You can't miss that, can you...! - Sorry... 158 00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:57,523 - No, it's... 159 00:07:59,323 --> 00:08:02,443 - SHE GULPS LOUDLY 160 00:08:02,443 --> 00:08:03,963 - Ah... 161 00:08:05,763 --> 00:08:07,403 Another time, then. 162 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:08,763 Another time. 163 00:08:24,323 --> 00:08:27,163 - You don't like her, do you? 164 00:08:27,163 --> 00:08:28,443 - I do like her. What? 165 00:08:31,123 --> 00:08:33,203 Do you think it looked like I didn't like her? 166 00:08:33,203 --> 00:08:35,203 - Your body language looked like you don't like her. 167 00:08:35,203 --> 00:08:38,523 - Oh, that's just my body. It comes out at odd angles. 168 00:08:38,523 --> 00:08:41,283 Do you think she likes me? 169 00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:43,843 - I think she thinks she's your girlfriend. 170 00:08:47,723 --> 00:08:50,323 - You need to clean that table again. You missed a bit. 171 00:08:53,043 --> 00:08:54,923 - Heather, what are you going to dress up as? 172 00:08:54,923 --> 00:08:56,163 - Oh, it's a surprise. 173 00:08:56,163 --> 00:08:58,923 - Ice cream man! - An ice cream... That'll be cool. - Maybe. 174 00:08:58,923 --> 00:09:01,203 - Is it a shark? - A shark? 175 00:09:01,203 --> 00:09:03,923 No, it's not a shark. 176 00:09:03,923 --> 00:09:06,843 - Well, I have written up the risk assessment for the pond in the park. 177 00:09:06,843 --> 00:09:09,403 I've got brollies, welly box, rain hoods if it rains. 178 00:09:09,403 --> 00:09:11,483 All the volunteers are DBS checked. 179 00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:13,643 I've sent sponsor forms home with the kids 180 00:09:13,643 --> 00:09:16,043 so I can chase it up with the parents... - Alison, Alison. 181 00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:17,963 Calm down. 182 00:09:17,963 --> 00:09:20,523 This is the best-planned sponsored walk I have ever seen. 183 00:09:20,523 --> 00:09:22,483 It's a local park, not the D-Day Landings. 184 00:09:22,483 --> 00:09:24,243 - You think I've over-planned. 185 00:09:24,243 --> 00:09:27,723 - No. You've come up with an activity that all the children will enjoy. 186 00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:31,523 And you've made the thing that Joe does best the centre of the day. 187 00:09:31,523 --> 00:09:34,043 - You still think it's a good thing to base my assignment on? 188 00:09:34,043 --> 00:09:37,123 You don't think it's bad that I'm using it for my uni course? 189 00:09:37,123 --> 00:09:38,803 - You've done a nice thing. 190 00:09:38,803 --> 00:09:41,403 It's not a crime if it helps you, too. 191 00:09:41,403 --> 00:09:46,123 Now you've just got to add our kids and see if it works. 192 00:09:46,123 --> 00:09:47,563 One other thing, though. 193 00:09:47,563 --> 00:09:50,483 - What? Have I...? What have I left out? 194 00:09:50,483 --> 00:09:53,043 - Enjoy it. Try to enjoy it. 195 00:09:53,043 --> 00:09:55,803 - This is me enjoying it. You want to see me when I'm tense. 196 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,283 - We could just read a book about it. 197 00:09:57,283 --> 00:09:59,443 And there's loads of stuff on YouTube. 198 00:09:59,443 --> 00:10:02,283 - Oh, yeah, YouTube would be my go-to guide for childbirth. 199 00:10:02,283 --> 00:10:05,243 - I just don't want to sit in a room with a bunch of people 200 00:10:05,243 --> 00:10:06,963 who have nothing in common except they all 201 00:10:06,963 --> 00:10:08,803 had a shag around the same time. 202 00:10:09,923 --> 00:10:11,123 - Come on. 203 00:10:11,123 --> 00:10:13,203 You just sold it to me. 204 00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:14,603 It might even be fun. 205 00:10:18,403 --> 00:10:21,963 CHATTER AND HUBBUB 206 00:10:23,403 --> 00:10:26,123 - Oh, come in, come in, Rebecca. You haven't missed much. 207 00:10:26,123 --> 00:10:28,923 We're just contemplating the mucous plug. 208 00:10:28,923 --> 00:10:31,283 Have a seat, love. 209 00:10:31,283 --> 00:10:33,763 I'd like each pair to use the objects 210 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,963 they have to recreate a stage of the birth process. 211 00:10:36,963 --> 00:10:39,163 - I think the melon must symbolise the baby. 212 00:10:39,163 --> 00:10:41,043 - Any ideas? 213 00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:44,163 - Mainly that you're going to have to fight me for that doughnut. 214 00:10:44,163 --> 00:10:47,163 - The stages of dilation, I would have thought. 215 00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:49,323 Erm, shall we start with this one? 216 00:10:49,323 --> 00:10:51,163 - So, is, er, this your first? 217 00:10:51,163 --> 00:10:53,803 - No. I'm not the father. 218 00:10:53,803 --> 00:10:57,083 - Oh. I don't think I could raise another man's child. 219 00:10:57,083 --> 00:10:58,443 - Me neither. 220 00:10:58,443 --> 00:11:01,683 - How is your birth plan coming on? - Er, I've made a start. 221 00:11:01,683 --> 00:11:03,403 I know what sandwiches I'm bringing, 222 00:11:03,403 --> 00:11:05,643 and I've put down for every drug known to man. 223 00:11:05,643 --> 00:11:08,603 - I mean, all that kit we need, it's unbelievable, isn't it? 224 00:11:08,603 --> 00:11:11,963 John Lewis is great for baby bags, breast pumps, sterilisers 225 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,923 and presenting blankets. 226 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:16,043 - Presenting blankets? - Yeah. 227 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,163 Are you having a boy or a girl? 228 00:11:18,163 --> 00:11:20,203 - Er, I-I don't know. I didn't want to know. 229 00:11:20,203 --> 00:11:22,003 - Oh, it's best to find out. 230 00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:23,963 Then you can imagine how it's going to feel. 231 00:11:23,963 --> 00:11:27,403 Start to get to know the baby as a person before they've even arrived. 232 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:33,083 - We'll get a pint in, eh, when we come out? 233 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,803 I'll run me speech by you. 234 00:11:34,803 --> 00:11:36,323 I'm pulling your leg. 235 00:11:36,323 --> 00:11:38,203 Here it is, let's get in there. 236 00:11:38,203 --> 00:11:41,843 By the time we come out, we'll look like half the Rat Pack. 237 00:11:41,843 --> 00:11:43,803 What are you waiting for? - Josh. 238 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,443 - Who the hell's Josh? - My best man. 239 00:11:48,363 --> 00:11:50,883 - So I'm not your best man? - No, it's Josh. 240 00:11:50,883 --> 00:11:52,483 He's a laugh. 241 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:59,363 - All right, Josh. I'm Maurice. 242 00:11:59,363 --> 00:12:02,403 - MUSIC: Step On by Happy Mondays 243 00:12:16,323 --> 00:12:17,843 KNOCK AT DOOR 244 00:12:21,203 --> 00:12:23,003 KNOCK AT DOOR 245 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:26,243 REPEATED KNOCKING 246 00:12:30,203 --> 00:12:33,883 - I thought you might be in need of sustenance. 247 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,523 - Come in. 248 00:12:39,883 --> 00:12:41,603 - There's a knack with these kind of fittings. 249 00:12:41,603 --> 00:12:45,283 Your hand is going against what your brain is telling you is logical. 250 00:12:45,283 --> 00:12:46,843 I'm used to that feeling. 251 00:12:46,843 --> 00:12:49,043 - Brilliant. Thank you. 252 00:12:49,043 --> 00:12:50,923 - Pleasure. Right, what's next? 253 00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:52,523 Chest of drawers? 254 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:54,523 - Well, yeah, but... 255 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,963 We can have the cake and I can do that later. 256 00:12:56,963 --> 00:12:58,923 - Do the things you don't want to first, Paul. 257 00:12:58,923 --> 00:13:00,763 That way, your day will always get better 258 00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:03,443 and you'll end it on a smile. 259 00:13:03,443 --> 00:13:05,163 OK, so what are we looking at? 260 00:13:05,163 --> 00:13:07,923 Phillips or flathead screwdriver? 261 00:13:07,923 --> 00:13:10,163 - Tom and Jonathan. 262 00:13:10,163 --> 00:13:15,723 - So, we thought the melon represents the baby's head, 263 00:13:15,723 --> 00:13:18,563 and the sleeve is the birth canal. 264 00:13:20,483 --> 00:13:22,923 And here we have crowning, ladies and gentlemen. 265 00:13:22,923 --> 00:13:25,363 - Yeah. That's very good. - Thank you. 266 00:13:25,363 --> 00:13:26,723 - Rebecca and Olivia? 267 00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:30,843 - So, we're thinking stages of dilation. 268 00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,883 Er, first contraction, then bigger. 269 00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:36,523 Bigger still, and eye-watering. 270 00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:39,323 - Very good. Excellent. 271 00:13:39,323 --> 00:13:40,883 That was just a bit of fun to get... 272 00:13:40,883 --> 00:13:43,803 Have you really got everything ready? 273 00:13:43,803 --> 00:13:45,763 - I mean, yeah. The way I see it is, 274 00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:48,563 make yourself as prepared as you can for the unexpected. 275 00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:50,843 - I think we all know what's expected. 276 00:13:50,843 --> 00:13:52,643 - What I mean is... 277 00:13:52,643 --> 00:13:54,083 ..when the baby arrives, 278 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,603 we don't actually know what it's going to be like, do we? 279 00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,603 - Now, Tom, can you lend me your melon? 280 00:13:59,603 --> 00:14:03,203 And if I can get two volunteers to pull this scarf from either end, 281 00:14:03,203 --> 00:14:06,403 we can start showing just how much pressure the pelvic floor... 282 00:14:17,643 --> 00:14:19,723 - Oh, I see. 283 00:14:19,723 --> 00:14:21,923 I'm being promoted to station one, then, am I? 284 00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:25,363 - I think that's a good idea, love. 285 00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:28,603 Cos Grandad can be a bit... 286 00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:31,483 ..alarming, if you don't know him. 287 00:14:33,523 --> 00:14:35,523 - OK, kiddo. I'm off. 288 00:14:35,523 --> 00:14:37,443 I'll see you bright and early. 289 00:14:40,363 --> 00:14:42,683 Get some sleep. - I'll try. 290 00:14:49,363 --> 00:14:52,603 - The cross, the map, the park, my class. 291 00:14:52,603 --> 00:14:53,963 - Do you remember what Heather said? 292 00:14:53,963 --> 00:14:56,683 We have to enjoy it. Yeah? 293 00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:58,003 - What if? 294 00:14:58,003 --> 00:15:00,803 - What if what? - What if it rains? 295 00:15:00,803 --> 00:15:02,403 - It might rain. 296 00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:05,043 But we'll be all right, because we have a plan. 297 00:15:05,043 --> 00:15:07,603 - The plan, the cross, the map. 298 00:15:07,603 --> 00:15:09,883 The park, my class. 299 00:15:09,883 --> 00:15:11,843 - All those things just help the day go well. 300 00:15:11,843 --> 00:15:13,603 They're not things to worry about. 301 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:16,683 - There will be hats. 302 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,003 - Maybe. 303 00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:21,083 If it rains. Or raincoats. 304 00:15:23,243 --> 00:15:25,403 - We need hats. 305 00:15:25,403 --> 00:15:27,363 All my class. For the walk. 306 00:15:28,403 --> 00:15:30,243 - Hats? - Special hats. 307 00:15:30,243 --> 00:15:31,763 For the walk. 308 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:33,243 So we know. 309 00:15:33,243 --> 00:15:34,683 - The hats. 310 00:15:44,283 --> 00:15:47,323 There's 12 hours to go, and now he's saying we need hats. 311 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,123 - You all right, Ralph? - Yeah! 312 00:15:53,123 --> 00:15:56,643 - Josh? - He doesn't say much. 313 00:15:56,643 --> 00:15:57,683 - Josh? 314 00:15:59,123 --> 00:16:01,043 What's he doing in there? Working on his speech? 315 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,923 - What sort of thing are you looking for, sir? 316 00:16:02,923 --> 00:16:05,403 - The sort of suit a best man wouldn't wear. 317 00:16:07,323 --> 00:16:10,603 Oh. You look like you should be working the door at Wetherspoons. 318 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,243 - What we thinking, fellas? 319 00:16:12,243 --> 00:16:14,963 - Not right. - More of a classic line? 320 00:16:14,963 --> 00:16:17,763 Softer cut? - Oh, you don't want double breasted, Ralph. 321 00:16:17,763 --> 00:16:19,843 - I know. - And you don't want of them pleated things 322 00:16:19,843 --> 00:16:22,683 that make it look like you've got a book resting on your arse. 323 00:16:23,923 --> 00:16:25,683 Try that on. Have a look in the mirror. 324 00:16:25,683 --> 00:16:28,283 - Stop fussing. You're not my dad. 325 00:16:28,283 --> 00:16:32,083 It needs to look good with trainers. 326 00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:34,083 - Is he serious? - I don't know. 327 00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:36,563 Like he says, I'm not his dad. 328 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,563 - Are you keeping it neutral then? Not too busy? 329 00:16:39,563 --> 00:16:41,763 - Hmm, that's the idea. 330 00:16:41,763 --> 00:16:44,123 - Because of his autism? - Because of his autism. 331 00:16:44,123 --> 00:16:46,563 Which is ironic considering he's living at his grandad's, 332 00:16:46,563 --> 00:16:48,163 which is like an auction house. 333 00:16:49,603 --> 00:16:51,443 - It speaks well of your family that you can live 334 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:53,763 with your ex father-in-law without killing each other. 335 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,603 - It's only a matter of time. 336 00:16:56,603 --> 00:17:00,083 - Bill's grandparents spend their time shouting at him 337 00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:01,803 because of his hearing aids. 338 00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,643 And saying with complete confidence, 339 00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:05,963 but without a hint of medical knowledge, 340 00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:07,443 "There's nothing wrong with him." 341 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,363 And, "He hears you when he wants to." 342 00:17:09,363 --> 00:17:12,683 - "Oh, he seems to understand you when you offer him an ice cream." 343 00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:16,243 That's one of Maurice's favourites with Joe. 344 00:17:16,243 --> 00:17:18,443 - They don't blame Bill, they blame me. 345 00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:20,803 They think I worry too much. 346 00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:23,203 And when I found out there was something wrong with him, 347 00:17:23,203 --> 00:17:26,323 I exaggerated it until he needed hearing aids. 348 00:17:26,323 --> 00:17:27,923 - Do they actually say that? 349 00:17:29,603 --> 00:17:31,203 - I've always been a worrier. 350 00:17:31,203 --> 00:17:32,283 And then... 351 00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:35,403 ..fate gave me a child to worry about. 352 00:17:35,403 --> 00:17:37,203 - Not sure it works like that. 353 00:17:40,483 --> 00:17:43,443 - You don't have to feel obliged... 354 00:17:43,443 --> 00:17:46,243 ..to have our date after this, Paul. 355 00:17:46,243 --> 00:17:49,283 This can count, and we can say we tried. 356 00:17:51,883 --> 00:17:54,643 - Well, if there's another talk at the library... 357 00:17:55,923 --> 00:17:58,243 - You don't mean that. 358 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:00,003 - I do. 359 00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:01,043 Really. 360 00:18:05,163 --> 00:18:06,803 Shall we get this job finished? 361 00:18:06,803 --> 00:18:09,683 - Mm, yeah. - OK! 362 00:18:09,683 --> 00:18:13,803 - Oh, I'll, erm, just take an antihistamine. 363 00:18:13,803 --> 00:18:16,763 I don't want the paint fumes irritating my membrane. 364 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,283 - Amen to that. 365 00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:30,763 - He was always first choice, like, for best man? 366 00:18:30,763 --> 00:18:31,803 - Yeah. 367 00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:36,163 - I just thought he could be a bit more outgoing, you know. 368 00:18:36,163 --> 00:18:39,723 Or at least say a few words, now and again? 369 00:18:39,723 --> 00:18:41,043 Oh, nice. 370 00:18:41,043 --> 00:18:44,003 Smart. You look, er... 371 00:18:44,003 --> 00:18:45,483 ..the dog's bollocks. 372 00:18:47,323 --> 00:18:48,363 Very nice. 373 00:18:49,683 --> 00:18:52,763 - You could at least have told me you were going to take a vow of silence. 374 00:18:52,763 --> 00:18:55,323 - Sorry. - It wasn't so bad, though, was it? 375 00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,403 - OK for you. 376 00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:58,603 Top of the class with your melon installation. 377 00:18:58,603 --> 00:19:00,363 - Jonathan was a great leader. 378 00:19:00,363 --> 00:19:02,683 I felt competitive urges I never knew I had. 379 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:05,563 - Olivia banging on about all the plans she's made. 380 00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:07,283 All the kit she's already bought. 381 00:19:07,283 --> 00:19:09,723 - She was a bit full-on but. 382 00:19:09,723 --> 00:19:11,683 Perhaps she thought she was being helpful. 383 00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:14,643 - Perfect couples do my head in. 384 00:19:14,643 --> 00:19:16,963 - Now, come on. 385 00:19:16,963 --> 00:19:19,603 Couples don't come much more perfect than us. 386 00:19:21,883 --> 00:19:23,283 What is it? 387 00:19:24,803 --> 00:19:26,403 Is it just... 388 00:19:26,403 --> 00:19:29,403 ..that it's scary now it's really happening? 389 00:19:29,403 --> 00:19:31,363 - Yeah, that's it. 390 00:19:31,363 --> 00:19:34,843 - I've known you since double English on the first day of Year 7. 391 00:19:34,843 --> 00:19:37,643 I know when you're hiding something from me. 392 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:40,003 - You're right. It's just scary, that's all. 393 00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:59,043 - Thanks for your help today. You've saved me loads of time. 394 00:19:59,043 --> 00:20:02,643 - Oh, I'm never happier than when I've got my hand on an Allen key. 395 00:20:02,643 --> 00:20:04,123 - You're full of surprises. 396 00:20:04,123 --> 00:20:07,003 - Well, it's logical. It's reassuring. 397 00:20:07,003 --> 00:20:08,763 And when it's done, it's done. 398 00:20:08,763 --> 00:20:11,003 Although chipboard dust has to be handled with care. 399 00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:12,523 - Of course. 400 00:20:19,123 --> 00:20:21,323 - I could come tomorrow, if you like? 401 00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:24,683 - To the... - To the, erm, sponsored walk. 402 00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,843 - Oh! - You said there weren't enough volunteers. 403 00:20:26,843 --> 00:20:28,243 - Right. - I'd like to. 404 00:20:28,243 --> 00:20:29,923 - You do know it's fancy dress? 405 00:20:29,923 --> 00:20:31,043 What about Bill? 406 00:20:31,043 --> 00:20:33,763 - Bill's with his gran this week. 407 00:20:33,763 --> 00:20:36,003 The other one. The nice one. 408 00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:38,563 - Right. Yeah. 409 00:20:38,563 --> 00:20:41,163 - Only if you want me to. Otherwise you just have to say, 410 00:20:41,163 --> 00:20:43,163 "Sarah, you need to retune your antennae!" 411 00:20:43,163 --> 00:20:44,283 - No. 412 00:20:44,283 --> 00:20:46,323 No. You should. 413 00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:48,283 Yeah, you should come. 414 00:20:48,283 --> 00:20:49,843 - OK. - It'd be nice. 415 00:20:59,363 --> 00:21:01,203 - Goodness me. 416 00:21:01,203 --> 00:21:03,443 What a day of surprises! 417 00:21:05,283 --> 00:21:08,003 Do you have any herbal tea? 418 00:21:08,003 --> 00:21:09,843 - Not so much herbal, no. 419 00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:14,923 - I always carry a couple for emergencies. 420 00:21:29,523 --> 00:21:31,523 - DOORBELL RINGS 421 00:21:36,123 --> 00:21:40,443 - I reckon between us we're capable of making a dozen hats, aren't we? 422 00:21:40,443 --> 00:21:42,803 - I didn't mean for you to drop everything and come round. 423 00:21:42,803 --> 00:21:45,163 I just panicked. - No. I know how that feels. 424 00:21:45,163 --> 00:21:47,723 - I can't believe you've ever panicked. 425 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,723 - My first day of teaching practice, I slipped on a mat, 426 00:21:50,723 --> 00:21:53,003 fell over, banged my head. 427 00:21:53,003 --> 00:21:56,003 I was demonstrating an obstacle course. 428 00:21:56,003 --> 00:21:57,763 And all the kids laughed. 429 00:21:57,763 --> 00:22:00,403 I panicked. I wanted to cry. 430 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:02,523 So I pretended I'd done it on purpose. 431 00:22:02,523 --> 00:22:05,443 Really hammed it up so I could properly cry. 432 00:22:05,443 --> 00:22:07,763 If The Smiths had written a song about teaching practice, 433 00:22:07,763 --> 00:22:10,763 I would have been that song. - Aw! 434 00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:12,763 You stuck with it, that's the main thing. 435 00:22:12,763 --> 00:22:15,123 - Yeah, well, I had to. 436 00:22:15,123 --> 00:22:17,203 It was what I wanted to do. 437 00:22:17,203 --> 00:22:19,083 - Why? 438 00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:21,843 I mean, I know why I'm obsessed with this stuff. It's because of Joe. 439 00:22:21,843 --> 00:22:23,123 But... 440 00:22:23,123 --> 00:22:24,803 Why did you...? 441 00:22:24,803 --> 00:22:27,283 - In the first place, I'm ashamed to say, 442 00:22:27,283 --> 00:22:31,003 because I was a nauseating do-gooder. 443 00:22:31,003 --> 00:22:32,683 I'm not being fair on myself. 444 00:22:32,683 --> 00:22:35,963 When I was a kid, there used to be this collecting box 445 00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:39,003 outside the sweet shop, a statue of a little boy with a leg iron 446 00:22:39,003 --> 00:22:41,683 and a walking stick. He might have been blind as well, 447 00:22:41,683 --> 00:22:43,323 but I could've made that bit up. 448 00:22:43,323 --> 00:22:47,163 And I thought, "I could do something about that." 449 00:22:47,163 --> 00:22:50,363 And when I left university, I wanted to be a poet. 450 00:22:50,363 --> 00:22:55,003 But I had to get a job to tide me over before I became famous. 451 00:22:55,003 --> 00:22:59,403 So I, er, I got work at a hospital for people with learning disabilities, 452 00:22:59,403 --> 00:23:02,603 which was easy, because no other fucker wanted to do it. 453 00:23:02,603 --> 00:23:06,363 The first time I went up there I was frightened. 454 00:23:06,363 --> 00:23:09,763 After six months, a nurse said to me, 455 00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:12,323 "You like working here, don't you?" 456 00:23:12,323 --> 00:23:16,203 And I hadn't even thought about it, but I said, "Yeah." 457 00:23:16,203 --> 00:23:20,123 And I knew then that this is what I wanted to do. 458 00:23:20,123 --> 00:23:23,803 Not because I wanted to do good, but because I enjoyed it. 459 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:26,443 Do-gooders don't survive. 460 00:23:26,443 --> 00:23:29,683 - Well, no-one's ever accused me of being a do-gooder, so... 461 00:23:29,683 --> 00:23:32,723 - So, now it's my turn to say it to you. 462 00:23:34,203 --> 00:23:36,043 You like doing this, don't you? 463 00:23:36,043 --> 00:23:38,083 And not just because of Joe. 464 00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:41,723 - I don't know. It's kind of crept up on me. 465 00:23:41,723 --> 00:23:45,483 The feeling that this might be my life now. 466 00:23:45,483 --> 00:23:47,563 I didn't know what I wanted when I moved here. 467 00:23:47,563 --> 00:23:49,563 I knew what I'd had. 468 00:23:49,563 --> 00:23:51,123 I knew what I'd lost. 469 00:23:52,763 --> 00:23:56,203 For a while it was just about surviving. 470 00:23:56,203 --> 00:23:57,723 But now... 471 00:23:58,963 --> 00:24:01,123 I don't know. 472 00:24:01,123 --> 00:24:03,163 It feels as though it might be all right. 473 00:24:10,803 --> 00:24:13,643 DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS 474 00:24:23,123 --> 00:24:24,603 - You OK? 475 00:24:24,603 --> 00:24:25,923 - Yeah. 476 00:24:28,403 --> 00:24:30,763 - How was the baby class? - Great, yeah. 477 00:24:30,763 --> 00:24:34,003 How was the suit hunt? - Good. I got something. Quite plain. 478 00:24:34,003 --> 00:24:36,403 - You and Ralph didn't go for electric blue mohair then? 479 00:24:36,403 --> 00:24:38,763 - We won't be having matching suits. I'm not the best man. 480 00:24:38,763 --> 00:24:41,123 How was the baby class? - I thought you were. 481 00:24:41,123 --> 00:24:42,403 - I'm on the bench. 482 00:24:42,403 --> 00:24:45,083 How was the baby class? I'm going to keep asking. 483 00:24:46,483 --> 00:24:48,203 - I don't know. It was full of couples. 484 00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:50,523 I'm not in a couple. 485 00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:54,083 Full of women who had everything planned. It wasn't my thing. 486 00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:56,683 - I know "need" is the wrong word these days, 487 00:24:56,683 --> 00:24:59,243 and we're all strong and independent women and all that... 488 00:24:59,243 --> 00:25:00,883 - "Need" is not the wrong word. 489 00:25:02,443 --> 00:25:05,803 - Has it occurred to you that you might need your mum right now? 490 00:25:24,883 --> 00:25:27,283 - So do you want to go through the plan with me one more time? 491 00:25:27,283 --> 00:25:29,283 - No. And neither do you. 492 00:25:29,283 --> 00:25:33,163 Just get an early night, and then embrace the chaos. 493 00:25:33,163 --> 00:25:35,203 - It's guilt, you know. 494 00:25:35,203 --> 00:25:36,923 The planning. 495 00:25:36,923 --> 00:25:40,403 Because I can never be sure where his autism ends and my... 496 00:25:40,403 --> 00:25:42,603 ..bad parenting begins. 497 00:25:42,603 --> 00:25:44,443 I think I can plan my way out of anything. 498 00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:48,363 So, I think if I plan it might make things better. 499 00:25:48,363 --> 00:25:54,323 - Listen. I have a son who's got a first in Modern Languages at Durham. 500 00:25:54,323 --> 00:25:56,643 He's living back with us in his old bedroom, 501 00:25:56,643 --> 00:25:59,763 delivering fast food on a moped so he can earn enough money 502 00:25:59,763 --> 00:26:02,803 to get as far away from his mum and dad as possible. 503 00:26:02,803 --> 00:26:05,523 In the end, it's all bad parenting. 504 00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:08,283 And on that cheery note, I'll see you tomorrow. 505 00:26:08,283 --> 00:26:11,123 - 8.30. - Traffic permitting, yeah. 506 00:26:11,123 --> 00:26:14,283 - Traffic permitting? Do you think you should maybe set off a bit earlier? 507 00:26:14,283 --> 00:26:17,043 - I'm winding you up. I'll be there. 508 00:26:17,043 --> 00:26:18,683 And... 509 00:26:18,683 --> 00:26:20,963 ..I'll take this map with me. - No, I can bring that. 510 00:26:20,963 --> 00:26:22,443 - No chance. I know what you're like. 511 00:26:22,443 --> 00:26:25,443 If I leave it, you'll still be tinkering with it at two o'clock in the morning. 512 00:26:25,443 --> 00:26:27,163 See you tomorrow. 513 00:26:48,843 --> 00:26:50,203 - Hey, mister. 514 00:26:55,523 --> 00:26:57,923 - I'm not awake, am I? 515 00:26:57,923 --> 00:26:59,923 - We've got the hats for tomorrow. 516 00:26:59,923 --> 00:27:01,323 Everything's ready. 517 00:27:06,723 --> 00:27:09,083 What's all this? 518 00:27:09,083 --> 00:27:13,003 - I'm going to like to walk tomorrow, aren't I? - Of course you are. 519 00:27:13,003 --> 00:27:15,523 - The cross, the map, the park, the class. 520 00:27:15,523 --> 00:27:17,643 - You don't have to worry about any of those things. 521 00:27:17,643 --> 00:27:21,003 All you have to do is walk. You walk better than anyone I know. 522 00:27:21,003 --> 00:27:22,043 Right? 523 00:27:27,843 --> 00:27:28,923 There! 524 00:27:30,443 --> 00:27:33,883 Now, stay in your pyjamas till morning. 525 00:27:33,883 --> 00:27:36,083 You'll sleep better, I promise. 526 00:27:40,683 --> 00:27:42,763 - I won't do it wrong, will I? 527 00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:46,323 I won't do the walk wrong. 528 00:27:47,883 --> 00:27:49,963 - No. 529 00:27:49,963 --> 00:27:52,403 No, it's not like that. It'll be fun. 530 00:27:52,403 --> 00:27:55,043 Now go to sleep. You will dream better in your pyjamas. 531 00:27:55,043 --> 00:27:57,083 - It will be fun. 532 00:27:57,083 --> 00:27:58,643 - That's right. 533 00:27:58,643 --> 00:28:00,603 - Will Asif have fun? 534 00:28:00,603 --> 00:28:02,243 - Yes. 535 00:28:02,243 --> 00:28:04,243 - Will Tanya have fun? - Yes. 536 00:28:04,243 --> 00:28:07,603 - Will Abby, Jacob, Caspar, Flo, Ibrahim have fun? 537 00:28:07,603 --> 00:28:09,643 - They will. 538 00:28:09,643 --> 00:28:10,843 They will. 539 00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:26,763 - Hey, if I'd known you were this handy, 540 00:28:26,763 --> 00:28:29,283 I'd have hired you to build the extension. 541 00:28:29,283 --> 00:28:32,363 - I just like to keep my hands occupied at all times. 542 00:28:32,363 --> 00:28:33,723 - Indeed. 543 00:28:33,723 --> 00:28:36,723 - Otherwise who knows what mischief I'd get up to. 544 00:28:36,723 --> 00:28:38,283 No... 545 00:28:46,323 --> 00:28:48,723 Bill's at his gran's. 546 00:28:48,723 --> 00:28:52,323 - Yeah. - In case you were wondering about me... 547 00:28:52,323 --> 00:28:54,363 ..getting back. 548 00:28:54,363 --> 00:28:57,203 If things...get out of hand. 549 00:28:59,243 --> 00:29:00,963 - Could happen. 550 00:29:00,963 --> 00:29:03,003 Both of us on the green tea. 551 00:29:03,003 --> 00:29:05,163 - SHE SPLUTTERS 552 00:29:05,163 --> 00:29:07,163 - Are you OK? - Yeah. 553 00:29:09,243 --> 00:29:11,403 Would you like me to kiss you again? 554 00:29:13,003 --> 00:29:14,763 - We could give it another go. 555 00:29:17,883 --> 00:29:21,003 - PHONE BUZZES 556 00:29:22,523 --> 00:29:24,723 - That's my phone. - I thought it was. 557 00:29:33,483 --> 00:29:35,763 - Hiya. 558 00:29:35,763 --> 00:29:38,243 No, no, no. No, I'm... 559 00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,483 ..just busy. 560 00:29:40,683 --> 00:29:42,203 Two secs. Don't go. 561 00:29:42,203 --> 00:29:43,603 - It's OK. - No, no, no. 562 00:29:43,603 --> 00:29:45,443 - Honestly, I'll see you soon. 563 00:29:46,803 --> 00:29:49,083 - I involved him because I thought he'd understand it better, 564 00:29:49,083 --> 00:29:50,403 but I think I've overwhelmed him. 565 00:29:50,403 --> 00:29:52,643 And what happens if he has a meltdown, and I've got all 566 00:29:52,643 --> 00:29:56,403 the other kids to think of... - Whoa, whoa. Look. Listen. 567 00:29:56,403 --> 00:29:58,483 Do you remember the time when he refused to 568 00:29:58,483 --> 00:30:00,163 get off the ferry in France? 569 00:30:00,163 --> 00:30:03,083 Or when he insisted on jumping from the highest diving board 570 00:30:03,083 --> 00:30:05,883 in Center Parcs? Or the time when he was three, 571 00:30:05,883 --> 00:30:08,363 and he pooed in the ornamental carp pond? 572 00:30:08,363 --> 00:30:10,243 He survived those, didn't he? 573 00:30:10,243 --> 00:30:12,563 It'll be fine. - Will it? 574 00:30:12,563 --> 00:30:14,003 - Or it won't be fine. 575 00:30:14,003 --> 00:30:16,043 Either way. We'll deal with it. 576 00:30:16,043 --> 00:30:18,883 - Yeah. You're right. 577 00:30:18,883 --> 00:30:20,003 Thanks. 578 00:30:21,003 --> 00:30:22,523 Thanks. 579 00:30:36,643 --> 00:30:37,923 - Bollocks. 580 00:30:41,203 --> 00:30:44,043 - MUSIC: Connection by Elastica 581 00:30:57,403 --> 00:30:59,323 - A walk in a park. A sponsored walk. 582 00:30:59,323 --> 00:31:01,963 It'll be OK. There's nothing to worry about, is it? 583 00:31:01,963 --> 00:31:04,483 - We might have to move soon. 584 00:31:04,483 --> 00:31:07,083 Do you remember what we said? Out of bed by eight. 585 00:31:15,723 --> 00:31:19,043 - It's too late now. - No. It's not. 586 00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:20,963 You've got time. We can wait. 587 00:31:20,963 --> 00:31:22,763 Do you want me to help you? 588 00:31:22,763 --> 00:31:25,763 - Do you want me to help you? - Joe. 589 00:31:25,763 --> 00:31:28,683 - When you say Joe, you mean wrong. 590 00:31:28,683 --> 00:31:30,203 - I don't, love. 591 00:31:30,203 --> 00:31:32,763 I don't. I just want you to know there's nothing to worry about. 592 00:31:32,763 --> 00:31:35,763 I'll be there, the whole time. 593 00:31:35,763 --> 00:31:38,563 - Put your clothes on, Joe. You will have a lovely time. 594 00:31:39,803 --> 00:31:41,963 - You will, Joe. You will. 595 00:31:41,963 --> 00:31:43,523 I promise. 596 00:31:43,523 --> 00:31:45,963 DOORBELL RINGS 597 00:31:50,563 --> 00:31:52,803 But it's 20 past eight, Ben, and he's still in his pyjamas. 598 00:31:52,803 --> 00:31:54,963 - There's no need to panic. There's still loads of time. 599 00:31:54,963 --> 00:31:57,043 - Now, you see, that's exactly what I said to Joe. 600 00:31:57,043 --> 00:31:59,083 I can see now why that doesn't work. 601 00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:01,003 - What's the worst thing that can happen? 602 00:32:01,003 --> 00:32:02,603 - Joe doesn't turn up. I don't turn up. 603 00:32:02,603 --> 00:32:04,523 I've...I've promised something that I can't do. 604 00:32:04,523 --> 00:32:07,923 - Heather is there. The volunteers will still turn up. It will happen. 605 00:32:07,923 --> 00:32:10,283 - But then Joe's day becomes the day everybody remembers 606 00:32:10,283 --> 00:32:11,683 because Joe wasn't there. 607 00:32:13,403 --> 00:32:15,723 Joe's day... Joe's day. Listen to me. 608 00:32:15,723 --> 00:32:17,763 He hates being the centre of attention. 609 00:32:17,763 --> 00:32:20,443 I should have seen this coming. - Maybe he's just overexcited. 610 00:32:20,443 --> 00:32:21,643 Look, shall I talk to him? 611 00:32:21,643 --> 00:32:24,243 - As long as you don't use the phrase, "Big day ahead of you." 612 00:32:24,243 --> 00:32:25,603 DOORBELL RINGS 613 00:32:25,603 --> 00:32:27,763 That'll be Rebecca. She said she might come here first. 614 00:32:27,763 --> 00:32:29,763 But that's good, cos then she can take the hats. 615 00:32:29,763 --> 00:32:33,363 The hats... The hats! - Don't worry about the hats. 616 00:32:33,363 --> 00:32:35,483 - OK. 617 00:32:35,483 --> 00:32:38,003 - Do you like my hat, by the way? 618 00:32:38,003 --> 00:32:39,763 - It's lovely. 619 00:32:39,763 --> 00:32:42,563 DOORBELL RINGS 620 00:32:39,763 --> 00:32:42,563 Can you...? 621 00:32:44,003 --> 00:32:45,523 FRENCH ACCENT: - You said fancy dress! 622 00:32:45,523 --> 00:32:47,403 We give you fancy dress... 623 00:32:47,403 --> 00:32:49,443 Hiya. 624 00:32:49,443 --> 00:32:51,003 - You'd better come in. 625 00:32:58,003 --> 00:32:59,883 - KNOCK AT DOOR 626 00:32:59,883 --> 00:33:02,203 Joe? 627 00:33:02,203 --> 00:33:04,523 Joe, I won't come in if you don't want. 628 00:33:04,523 --> 00:33:06,723 I just want to know if you're all right. 629 00:33:18,963 --> 00:33:21,723 - Well, not sure how that's going to help. 630 00:33:21,723 --> 00:33:23,803 - I'm just trying to get everything done so we can leave 631 00:33:23,803 --> 00:33:25,683 when he's ready. - I'll go and have a word with him. 632 00:33:25,683 --> 00:33:27,763 - No. Look, he's...he's not used to you being here. 633 00:33:27,763 --> 00:33:30,163 He's anxious already. If you go in, he'll feel pressured 634 00:33:30,163 --> 00:33:32,643 and then it'll be a crisis. - And this isn't a crisis? 635 00:33:32,643 --> 00:33:34,843 - Look, don't make this any harder than it already is, Paul. 636 00:33:34,843 --> 00:33:37,243 I don't know what to do. Just... - I do know what to do. 637 00:33:37,243 --> 00:33:39,083 - Remember what he's like when he's like this. 638 00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:41,323 - I know what he's like. I see him all the time. 639 00:33:41,323 --> 00:33:43,243 Of course I know what he's like. - I didn't mean... 640 00:33:43,243 --> 00:33:45,083 - Let me just go and have a word with him. 641 00:33:45,083 --> 00:33:47,163 - You're the adult here, Paul. 642 00:33:47,163 --> 00:33:48,763 And he's the distressed child. 643 00:33:48,763 --> 00:33:50,403 Just try and remember that, will you? 644 00:33:50,403 --> 00:33:54,003 - That helps. That really, really helps. 645 00:33:54,003 --> 00:33:55,923 - Dad. 646 00:33:55,923 --> 00:33:57,683 - Maybe Alison's right. 647 00:33:57,683 --> 00:33:59,803 I mean, this is his and her space, isn't it? 648 00:33:59,803 --> 00:34:01,923 It might just confuse matters. 649 00:34:01,923 --> 00:34:03,643 - Ben, it's all right. 650 00:34:03,643 --> 00:34:04,963 - Just trying to help. 651 00:34:04,963 --> 00:34:06,683 And on your side, by the way. 652 00:34:07,923 --> 00:34:10,763 - No, look... Paul, you and Ben go. 653 00:34:10,763 --> 00:34:12,923 - Me and Ben? - And we'll talk to him. 654 00:34:12,923 --> 00:34:14,723 And if he won't come, I'll follow. 655 00:34:14,723 --> 00:34:17,123 And...and Rebecca can stay behind. Is that OK, love? 656 00:34:17,123 --> 00:34:18,603 - Yeah. 657 00:34:24,443 --> 00:34:26,203 - KNOCK AT DOOR 658 00:34:24,443 --> 00:34:26,203 Joe? 659 00:34:35,323 --> 00:34:38,843 - Do you remember the map that Joe's mum made for us? 660 00:34:38,843 --> 00:34:41,403 So there's the lake. Can you see it behind us? 661 00:34:41,403 --> 00:34:44,403 Let's look... - No sign of Alison yet, but, er, 662 00:34:44,403 --> 00:34:47,443 I've given the course the once-over, just to be on the safe side. 663 00:34:47,443 --> 00:34:48,963 - Glad to hear it. 664 00:34:48,963 --> 00:34:50,803 - I'm guessing you are the special school. 665 00:34:50,803 --> 00:34:53,723 - One or two clues, yeah. - I take me hat off to you. 666 00:34:53,723 --> 00:34:56,283 I'm, er, Maurice, Alison's dad, by the way. 667 00:34:56,283 --> 00:34:59,323 - I got that. Heather, Joe's teacher. 668 00:34:59,323 --> 00:35:02,403 Right, do we all remember our sponsored walk rules? 669 00:35:02,403 --> 00:35:05,083 - Has Alison told you what the hold-up is? Cos I've heard nothing. 670 00:35:05,083 --> 00:35:07,203 - First things first, toilet break. 671 00:35:07,203 --> 00:35:11,803 So let's all walk over there, nice and sensible and quiet. That's it. 672 00:35:11,803 --> 00:35:14,923 You don't mind giving us a hand, do you? - No, not at all. 673 00:35:14,923 --> 00:35:16,563 Thanks for helping Alison, by the way. 674 00:35:16,563 --> 00:35:18,523 I've never seen her this, erm... 675 00:35:18,523 --> 00:35:20,603 ..happy for a long time. 676 00:35:20,603 --> 00:35:22,483 - Don't be silly. She's helped me. 677 00:35:22,483 --> 00:35:24,963 - Well, that's what you say, but she's my daughter. 678 00:35:24,963 --> 00:35:27,003 I know she can be hard work at times. 679 00:35:27,003 --> 00:35:30,803 - You know, when she talked about you, I thought she was exaggerating, 680 00:35:30,803 --> 00:35:34,123 but, no, you're pretty much living up to your reputation. 681 00:35:34,123 --> 00:35:36,123 - Right. Good. - Hello, Maurice! 682 00:35:36,123 --> 00:35:37,923 - Hello! - Hiya. 683 00:35:37,923 --> 00:35:40,603 Is this the sponsored walk for Joe's school? - Yeah, yeah. 684 00:35:40,603 --> 00:35:42,483 - Oh, right, OK. So, Joe's dad said that you might be 685 00:35:42,483 --> 00:35:45,203 short of volunteers, and I am fully checked. 686 00:35:45,203 --> 00:35:47,643 Erm, I have my certificate here, as a matter of fact. 687 00:35:47,643 --> 00:35:49,563 I always carry it round. - Paul invited you? 688 00:35:49,563 --> 00:35:52,043 - Yeah. - She's a neighbour of ours. She knows the territory. 689 00:35:52,043 --> 00:35:54,123 Got a deaf kid. - Yeah.... 690 00:35:54,123 --> 00:35:57,283 Yeah. So, where is everyone? I thought they'd all be here by now? 691 00:35:57,283 --> 00:35:59,643 - Your dad and Ben, they've gone to the park. 692 00:35:59,643 --> 00:36:01,923 We're just going to stay here for a bit, with you. 693 00:36:01,923 --> 00:36:04,163 - Will Dad be sad? 694 00:36:04,163 --> 00:36:06,963 - No, he won't be sad. He'll have a good time. 695 00:36:06,963 --> 00:36:08,403 - Fiery Jack. 696 00:36:08,403 --> 00:36:10,843 - The Fall, 1980. 697 00:36:10,843 --> 00:36:12,363 You like to walk. 698 00:36:12,363 --> 00:36:14,483 - I like to walk. 699 00:36:14,483 --> 00:36:16,283 - So, we could walk? 700 00:36:16,283 --> 00:36:18,323 - So, we could walk. 701 00:36:18,323 --> 00:36:20,243 - Where do you think we could walk? 702 00:36:20,243 --> 00:36:22,883 - The other way. - The other way? 703 00:36:24,763 --> 00:36:27,043 - That way, Joe, with everybody else. With everybody else. 704 00:36:27,043 --> 00:36:29,483 - Hey, Joe, it's OK. It's OK... - Why do you have to be different? 705 00:36:29,483 --> 00:36:31,443 Why do you always have to be different? 706 00:36:40,283 --> 00:36:42,843 - Right, I tell you what, Joe. 707 00:36:42,843 --> 00:36:44,403 I'm going to go now. 708 00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:47,163 Just to make sure the rest of your class are getting on all right. 709 00:36:47,163 --> 00:36:50,483 And Rebecca's going to stay here with you. 710 00:36:50,483 --> 00:36:52,243 OK, going to go. 711 00:36:58,083 --> 00:36:59,563 - It's just us two now. 712 00:36:59,563 --> 00:37:01,443 - Just us two now. 713 00:37:01,443 --> 00:37:03,323 - I know what this feels like. 714 00:37:03,323 --> 00:37:05,043 When something's going to happen. 715 00:37:05,043 --> 00:37:07,443 Something good, even. 716 00:37:07,443 --> 00:37:11,203 But then you start to think what it might be like, and you worry. 717 00:37:11,203 --> 00:37:13,763 And the worry chases all the good away. 718 00:37:15,563 --> 00:37:17,203 I know what it feels like. 719 00:37:18,563 --> 00:37:20,763 - I know what it feels like. 720 00:37:24,763 --> 00:37:26,363 - Look, mate, I'm sorry. 721 00:37:26,363 --> 00:37:28,483 About back there. 722 00:37:28,483 --> 00:37:31,443 About butting in. 723 00:37:31,443 --> 00:37:34,683 - You were right, really. 724 00:37:34,683 --> 00:37:37,403 It's just...when he's distressed you get pulled in to Joe World, 725 00:37:37,403 --> 00:37:40,243 and all bets are off. - I wouldn't have liked it if it had been Molly 726 00:37:40,243 --> 00:37:42,563 and some bloke I hardly knew was trying to tell me... 727 00:37:42,563 --> 00:37:44,843 - You know what? You're right. You were bang out of order. 728 00:37:46,643 --> 00:37:49,443 - THEY CHUCKLE 729 00:37:49,443 --> 00:37:51,123 - One question... 730 00:37:51,123 --> 00:37:53,603 Does this hat make me look like a bit of a tosser? 731 00:37:53,603 --> 00:37:55,643 - If I'm being honest, it does a bit. 732 00:37:55,643 --> 00:37:57,563 It's not a power play. 733 00:37:57,563 --> 00:37:59,083 It really does. 734 00:38:02,283 --> 00:38:04,403 - Bloody hell. No Joe and no Alison, 735 00:38:04,403 --> 00:38:07,123 and you're giving yourself a pat on the back for turning up? 736 00:38:07,123 --> 00:38:09,323 - I can see where Alison gets her anxiety from, Maurice. 737 00:38:09,323 --> 00:38:12,403 - Me? I'm not anxious. I'm the calm at the eye of the storm. 738 00:38:12,403 --> 00:38:15,603 - If you say so. Who's this, then? 739 00:38:15,603 --> 00:38:17,003 - What time do you call this? 740 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:20,163 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. - It's fine. 741 00:38:20,163 --> 00:38:22,003 - Oh, hello, Sarah. - Hello! 742 00:38:22,003 --> 00:38:26,203 - Paul invited her. She's got a certificate. Where's Joe? 743 00:38:26,203 --> 00:38:30,523 - Right, everyone. Erm, let's get to the start of the sponsored walk. 744 00:38:30,523 --> 00:38:33,043 I want you all in a nice line, no bunching. 745 00:38:33,043 --> 00:38:34,523 - JOE: - Where will they be? 746 00:38:34,523 --> 00:38:36,443 - I think they'll just be getting to the park. 747 00:38:37,723 --> 00:38:40,843 The walk won't have started yet. 748 00:38:40,843 --> 00:38:43,003 But I might need to get going soon. 749 00:38:44,883 --> 00:38:47,643 Do you know the way? 750 00:38:47,643 --> 00:38:49,843 What's the park called? 751 00:38:49,843 --> 00:38:51,363 - What's the park called? 752 00:38:53,203 --> 00:38:55,563 The Sponsored Walk Park. 753 00:38:55,563 --> 00:38:58,363 - I don't know where that is. I don't live here. 754 00:38:58,363 --> 00:39:00,363 - How will you find it? 755 00:39:00,363 --> 00:39:02,203 - I don't know. 756 00:39:04,203 --> 00:39:05,883 Do you know where it is? 757 00:39:11,603 --> 00:39:13,763 Maybe you could show me the way. 758 00:39:23,363 --> 00:39:26,083 - The Life Of Riley. - The Lightning Seeds, 1992. 759 00:39:26,083 --> 00:39:28,123 - Disco 2000. - Pulp, 1995. 760 00:39:28,123 --> 00:39:30,443 - Station Approach. - Elbow, 2005. 761 00:39:41,323 --> 00:39:43,283 - I will need a hat. 762 00:39:50,443 --> 00:39:53,683 - Right. You all look fantastic. 763 00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:57,123 So, we are going to head down this path and follow those blue arrows 764 00:39:57,123 --> 00:39:59,323 until we get to our first station, and then we're going 765 00:39:59,323 --> 00:40:02,283 to check you off, and you might well get a reward. 766 00:40:02,283 --> 00:40:04,283 Are you ready, Tanya? 767 00:40:11,043 --> 00:40:13,043 - Look, there's Joe! 768 00:40:18,283 --> 00:40:21,323 - Well done. - You owe me a fiver for the bubble machine. 769 00:40:21,323 --> 00:40:24,643 - Right, lead the way, fella. 770 00:40:24,643 --> 00:40:26,003 Off you go! 771 00:40:28,523 --> 00:40:31,243 Yes! - Oh, well done! 772 00:40:31,243 --> 00:40:34,563 - MUSIC: The Life Of Riley by The Lightning Seeds 773 00:40:43,203 --> 00:40:45,563 - Right. Well done. 774 00:40:45,563 --> 00:40:48,363 Here you go, mate. - Thank you! 775 00:40:48,363 --> 00:40:50,923 - You take that one. 776 00:41:00,563 --> 00:41:03,283 - Hello, young lady, how's it going? 777 00:41:03,283 --> 00:41:05,643 Two of ya? OK. 778 00:41:05,643 --> 00:41:08,243 There you go, Joseph. Good lad. Keep going that way. 779 00:41:19,523 --> 00:41:21,643 - One toffee. Thank you. 780 00:41:27,883 --> 00:41:29,683 - # I don't mind 781 00:41:29,683 --> 00:41:31,643 # I get the feeling 782 00:41:31,643 --> 00:41:33,523 # You'll be fine 783 00:41:33,523 --> 00:41:37,323 # I still believe that in this world 784 00:41:37,323 --> 00:41:41,883 # We've got to find the time 785 00:41:41,883 --> 00:41:44,603 # For the life of Riley. # 786 00:41:44,603 --> 00:41:47,043 - Hiya, I've got some fruit. Anyone like some fruit? 787 00:41:47,043 --> 00:41:49,083 - Ew, no. - No? OK. 788 00:41:52,003 --> 00:41:53,683 - You didn't have time for fancy dress, then? 789 00:41:53,683 --> 00:41:55,243 - Oh! 790 00:41:55,243 --> 00:41:57,083 - No, it's nice. It suits you. 791 00:41:57,083 --> 00:41:59,443 - I think me and Bill like to wear them for our movie nights. 792 00:41:59,443 --> 00:42:01,323 - That's good to know. 793 00:42:03,963 --> 00:42:05,923 Thanks for coming to help. 794 00:42:05,923 --> 00:42:08,923 - Oh, it was a pleasure, it was a pleasure. 795 00:42:08,923 --> 00:42:12,403 - Woo! Well done! Cristiano! 796 00:42:13,483 --> 00:42:16,763 Well done, Miss! Woo! 797 00:42:16,763 --> 00:42:18,203 - Amazing! - Woo! 798 00:42:18,203 --> 00:42:20,563 Come on! Come on, Tanya! 799 00:42:20,563 --> 00:42:23,043 - Well done! 800 00:42:23,043 --> 00:42:25,163 Fantastic. - Come on, bring it up the rear! 801 00:42:25,163 --> 00:42:28,123 - Well done! Yay! 802 00:42:29,803 --> 00:42:31,603 - See? I told you it'd be fine. 803 00:42:31,603 --> 00:42:33,163 - Oh! You did. 804 00:42:33,163 --> 00:42:34,723 - Now you just gotta write it all up. 805 00:42:34,723 --> 00:42:36,843 - Yeah, but you know me. I enjoy that bit. 806 00:42:36,843 --> 00:42:38,523 I'm in control at last. 807 00:42:38,523 --> 00:42:40,563 - So, not just Joe who's found a positive outlet 808 00:42:40,563 --> 00:42:42,243 for his obsessive behaviour, then? 809 00:42:42,243 --> 00:42:45,083 Well done! I'll see ya later. - See you later. 810 00:43:06,003 --> 00:43:08,363 - You did it, then. 811 00:43:08,363 --> 00:43:09,723 - Yep. 812 00:43:11,363 --> 00:43:14,643 At the risk of breaking my own resolution not to wade in... 813 00:43:14,643 --> 00:43:16,123 ..I'm wading in. 814 00:43:17,283 --> 00:43:20,523 I'm making a guess you're terrified. 815 00:43:20,523 --> 00:43:23,523 - It was the antenatal class. 816 00:43:23,523 --> 00:43:25,803 - It usually is. 817 00:43:25,803 --> 00:43:29,643 - I just haven't done anything at all. 818 00:43:29,643 --> 00:43:31,843 Not even got a presenting blanket. 819 00:43:31,843 --> 00:43:34,643 - Oh. Outrageous. 820 00:43:34,643 --> 00:43:37,243 - This woman in the class mentioned it. I'm not even sure what it is. 821 00:43:37,243 --> 00:43:39,883 - It's nonsense. It's just a blanket. 822 00:43:39,883 --> 00:43:42,363 They just call it that so they can charge you more. 823 00:43:43,403 --> 00:43:46,563 You were passed round wrapped in a towel after you were born. 824 00:43:46,563 --> 00:43:49,203 And you were beautiful. 825 00:43:49,203 --> 00:43:51,483 No-one looks at the blanket. 826 00:43:51,483 --> 00:43:52,803 - Really? 827 00:43:52,803 --> 00:43:54,483 - Really. 828 00:43:57,883 --> 00:44:00,443 And that's it? That's what you were terrified about? 829 00:44:00,443 --> 00:44:02,683 - That and everything else. 830 00:44:02,683 --> 00:44:04,563 - Rebecca... 831 00:44:04,563 --> 00:44:06,803 ..nobody knows what to expect. 832 00:44:06,803 --> 00:44:08,403 It's unknown. 833 00:44:08,403 --> 00:44:10,523 Everybody's panicking in their own way. 834 00:44:10,523 --> 00:44:14,363 Even the woman with the birth plan and...the fully-fitted nursery 835 00:44:14,363 --> 00:44:16,923 and the presenting blanket. 836 00:44:16,923 --> 00:44:20,523 - Is every woman thinking, "What if my child has difficulties?" 837 00:44:22,363 --> 00:44:24,763 Is everyone thinking that? 838 00:44:24,763 --> 00:44:27,083 Did it cross your mind when you were having me? 839 00:44:30,283 --> 00:44:33,083 What about when you were having Joe? 840 00:44:33,083 --> 00:44:35,443 - I don't... No, no. 841 00:44:35,443 --> 00:44:37,803 But, look, this was maybe always going to be a question for you 842 00:44:37,803 --> 00:44:40,243 because you grew up with a Joe. 843 00:44:40,243 --> 00:44:42,083 He's been your normal. 844 00:44:43,683 --> 00:44:45,963 - I looked at all the perfect couples, and I thought, 845 00:44:45,963 --> 00:44:49,163 "I bet you all have perfect babies." 846 00:44:49,163 --> 00:44:52,203 And if anyone's going to have the less than perfect baby, it's me. 847 00:44:52,203 --> 00:44:54,843 - You know that that's not true. 848 00:44:56,123 --> 00:44:59,363 - The woman in the class, she asked me if my baby was a boy or a girl, 849 00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:00,883 and I... 850 00:45:00,883 --> 00:45:04,203 I told her I didn't know. I wanted a surprise. 851 00:45:06,763 --> 00:45:08,283 The truth is, I don't... 852 00:45:08,283 --> 00:45:11,443 I don't want to know anything because something might be wrong. 853 00:45:11,443 --> 00:45:13,843 And if I say that I don't want a baby like Joe, 854 00:45:13,843 --> 00:45:16,883 then I'm saying I don't want Joe as a brother. 855 00:45:16,883 --> 00:45:19,603 - No. No, you're not. 856 00:45:19,603 --> 00:45:22,283 All you're saying is that you want a healthy baby. 857 00:45:22,283 --> 00:45:27,043 You can want a baby without autism AND still love Joe. 858 00:45:27,043 --> 00:45:29,123 It doesn't make you a bad sister. 859 00:45:29,123 --> 00:45:31,643 It doesn't mean you don't love him. 860 00:45:33,323 --> 00:45:35,403 - You're not ashamed of me? 861 00:45:35,403 --> 00:45:37,283 - I could never be ashamed of you. 862 00:45:38,483 --> 00:45:41,203 - I wanted you to be ashamed of me. 863 00:45:41,203 --> 00:45:42,923 To have a go at me. 864 00:45:42,923 --> 00:45:46,563 - Why, love? Why would you want that? 865 00:45:46,563 --> 00:45:48,523 - To... 866 00:45:48,523 --> 00:45:51,763 ..give me something to fight against? 867 00:45:51,763 --> 00:45:53,523 Someone to have a go at? 868 00:45:55,123 --> 00:45:58,323 That way, there'd be no room for regrets or doubt. 869 00:45:58,323 --> 00:46:01,803 - Well, I don't know a mother without doubt. 870 00:46:01,803 --> 00:46:03,923 It's the first rule of parenthood. 871 00:46:03,923 --> 00:46:06,283 Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong. 872 00:46:09,283 --> 00:46:10,683 - What's the second rule? 873 00:46:10,683 --> 00:46:12,883 - That everyone else is doing it right. 874 00:46:15,203 --> 00:46:16,923 - You could help me with the birth plan. 875 00:46:16,923 --> 00:46:18,763 - Oh, boy, could I help you with the birth plan! 876 00:46:18,763 --> 00:46:22,283 Mine was 42 pages, in a bound folder. 877 00:46:22,283 --> 00:46:23,883 - Is that you volunteering? 878 00:46:23,883 --> 00:46:27,003 - Yeah. If you would like me to, I would love that. 879 00:46:30,563 --> 00:46:32,403 Oh, my girl. 880 00:46:35,283 --> 00:46:40,403 MUSIC: Sketch For Summer by The Durutti Column 881 00:47:03,083 --> 00:47:04,803 - Missed a bit. 882 00:47:04,803 --> 00:47:07,083 - Thank you. 883 00:47:07,083 --> 00:47:09,603 - This was great today. 884 00:47:09,603 --> 00:47:11,003 It was brilliant. 885 00:47:11,003 --> 00:47:14,083 - Well, everyone at the school mucked in, you know. 886 00:47:14,083 --> 00:47:15,883 - Anyway... 887 00:47:17,243 --> 00:47:20,003 - Sarah? That's an interesting choice. 888 00:47:23,443 --> 00:47:26,723 - I don't think either of us actually made a choice. 889 00:47:27,803 --> 00:47:29,803 - Any, erm... 890 00:47:29,803 --> 00:47:31,723 Any allergies cropped up so far? 891 00:47:31,723 --> 00:47:34,323 - All right, all right. - Sorry. 892 00:47:34,323 --> 00:47:37,163 - Let's just say, she's got a well-hidden sense of irony 893 00:47:37,163 --> 00:47:39,083 that neither of us fully appreciated. 894 00:47:39,083 --> 00:47:41,323 - If you say so. I'm not judging you. 895 00:47:43,523 --> 00:47:46,683 - I talked to Ben. - Well done. 896 00:47:46,683 --> 00:47:49,243 - What? - I just don't really know what to say to you sometimes. 897 00:47:49,243 --> 00:47:52,283 It's hard to do small talk with someone you know this well. 898 00:48:22,803 --> 00:48:24,683 - Are you two going to be long? 899 00:48:24,683 --> 00:48:27,403 I could have made you both a suit in this time! 900 00:48:27,403 --> 00:48:31,763 - Button flies. Why anybody still insists on using these. 901 00:48:32,963 --> 00:48:37,443 There you are. Emporio Armani meets Emporio Penguin. 902 00:48:37,443 --> 00:48:39,243 What? I thought I'd done them all. 903 00:48:39,243 --> 00:48:42,523 - I'll say this for you, Maurice. You scrub up well. 904 00:48:42,523 --> 00:48:43,843 - Ralph chose it. 905 00:48:43,843 --> 00:48:45,883 - Well, he's got a good eye, my boy. 906 00:48:45,883 --> 00:48:47,283 - He's probably feeling bad. 907 00:48:47,283 --> 00:48:49,483 Leading me on like that about being his best man. 908 00:48:49,483 --> 00:48:51,443 - God's sake, Maurice! Let it go! 909 00:48:51,443 --> 00:48:53,803 - Well, I don't know what kind of speech Josh is going to make, 910 00:48:53,803 --> 00:48:55,483 but I've not heard a word out of him so far. 911 00:48:55,483 --> 00:48:56,843 - Maybe that's why Ralph chose him. 912 00:48:56,843 --> 00:48:59,403 So he won't take all the attention on his big day. 913 00:48:59,403 --> 00:49:00,763 - Well? 914 00:49:03,283 --> 00:49:04,683 - You'll do. 915 00:49:10,163 --> 00:49:12,203 You'll do. 916 00:49:12,203 --> 00:49:14,683 Now go and get changed before I make a fool of myself. 917 00:49:14,683 --> 00:49:16,283 Go on. 918 00:49:18,403 --> 00:49:21,363 - She likes it. That's why she's sending you away. 919 00:49:21,363 --> 00:49:24,083 Well, don't look at me for an explanation. That's women for ya. 920 00:49:24,083 --> 00:49:26,243 You better get used to it. 921 00:49:27,603 --> 00:49:29,363 Shall I go and get changed too? 922 00:49:29,363 --> 00:49:32,283 - You could give me a Frank Sinatra song before you do, if you like. 923 00:49:32,283 --> 00:49:34,043 - Maybe at the wedding. 924 00:49:35,683 --> 00:49:38,883 - Those trousers are going to need taking up, Ralph! 925 00:49:43,683 --> 00:49:45,563 - Thank you for today. 926 00:49:45,563 --> 00:49:46,883 - It was fun. 927 00:49:46,883 --> 00:49:48,163 In the end. 928 00:49:50,043 --> 00:49:52,723 - Yeah, in the end. 929 00:49:52,723 --> 00:49:55,043 I'm sorry. 930 00:49:55,043 --> 00:49:58,163 For having a go at you when you were backing me up with Paul. 931 00:49:58,163 --> 00:50:01,523 - I can't pretend I wasn't a little put out. 932 00:50:01,523 --> 00:50:02,763 But you're a family. 933 00:50:02,763 --> 00:50:03,803 - Oh! 934 00:50:05,723 --> 00:50:07,763 You're a good man. 935 00:50:07,763 --> 00:50:10,243 - I'm a top singer. - You're not a top singer. 936 00:50:10,243 --> 00:50:11,683 - A great lover? 937 00:50:11,683 --> 00:50:13,323 - Better than your singing, yeah. 938 00:50:13,323 --> 00:50:16,243 - Yeah? It gets better. 939 00:50:19,603 --> 00:50:22,043 - PHONE BUZZES 940 00:50:24,203 --> 00:50:26,363 It's Rebecca. Sorry. 941 00:50:27,443 --> 00:50:29,483 Hello. 942 00:50:29,483 --> 00:50:32,523 - Hello. How are you? What are you doing right now? 943 00:50:32,523 --> 00:50:33,883 - Hello. 944 00:50:33,883 --> 00:50:35,643 I'm fine. How are you? 945 00:50:35,643 --> 00:50:37,363 What are you doing right now? 946 00:50:37,363 --> 00:50:40,923 - I am fine. I am speaking into the phone. 947 00:50:40,923 --> 00:50:42,483 - Well, I asked for that. 948 00:50:42,483 --> 00:50:44,003 - What did you ask for? 949 00:50:44,003 --> 00:50:45,803 - It's just a saying. 950 00:50:45,803 --> 00:50:47,563 Shouldn't you be in bed? 951 00:50:47,563 --> 00:50:50,003 - Is Ben there? - Yeah, yeah. 952 00:50:50,003 --> 00:50:52,403 Ben's here. Do you want to talk to him? 953 00:50:52,403 --> 00:50:53,923 - Is he sleeping in my bed? 954 00:50:53,923 --> 00:50:55,163 - No! 955 00:50:55,163 --> 00:50:57,163 I'll probably sleep in your bed. 956 00:50:57,163 --> 00:50:58,483 - Here's Rebecca. 957 00:50:58,483 --> 00:51:00,563 - Joe, you did really well today. 958 00:51:00,563 --> 00:51:01,763 Looking after everybody... 959 00:51:01,763 --> 00:51:03,283 - It's me. I'll tell him. 960 00:51:03,283 --> 00:51:04,523 - Oh... 961 00:51:05,803 --> 00:51:07,083 Thank you. 962 00:51:07,083 --> 00:51:09,763 - We think Joe's got a future as a card shark. 963 00:51:09,763 --> 00:51:11,963 He plays us. Maybe he's been playing us all along. 964 00:51:11,963 --> 00:51:14,963 - Yes. Do you remember that time in Corfu? 965 00:51:14,963 --> 00:51:17,683 - It was Italy. - Er, Dad says it was Italy. 966 00:51:17,683 --> 00:51:20,723 - Yes! That's right. That's right, it was. 967 00:51:20,723 --> 00:51:24,323 Well, your dad's got a better memory for these things than I have. 968 00:51:24,323 --> 00:51:25,763 Goodnight. 969 00:51:25,763 --> 00:51:27,043 - Night, Mum. 970 00:51:27,043 --> 00:51:29,483 - And thank you for today. Thank you. 971 00:51:31,483 --> 00:51:32,643 Night. 972 00:51:52,923 --> 00:51:54,523 - Dad? 973 00:51:56,563 --> 00:51:58,803 - OK, OK. 974 00:52:01,843 --> 00:52:03,443 Hmm... 975 00:52:03,443 --> 00:52:05,603 I-i-is... 976 00:52:05,603 --> 00:52:07,123 ..that your card? 977 00:52:07,123 --> 00:52:08,443 - How are you doing that? 978 00:52:08,443 --> 00:52:11,723 - Oh, I can't tell you that. I'll get chucked out the Magic Circle. 979 00:52:11,723 --> 00:52:13,523 - My turn now. 980 00:52:15,963 --> 00:52:17,243 - OK. 981 00:52:17,243 --> 00:52:19,043 OK, go on, then. 982 00:52:20,243 --> 00:52:22,083 Go on. Out into the hall. 983 00:52:23,643 --> 00:52:25,603 No peeping. 984 00:52:26,883 --> 00:52:29,323 OK! Erm... 985 00:52:31,883 --> 00:52:33,043 Joe? 986 00:52:35,003 --> 00:52:36,243 Joe? 987 00:52:36,243 --> 00:52:37,283 - DOOR SHUTS 988 00:52:40,803 --> 00:52:42,123 - Joe. 989 00:52:48,003 --> 00:52:50,323 Yeah, he's gone to bed. 990 00:52:50,323 --> 00:52:52,203 He's made himself disappear! 991 00:52:52,203 --> 00:52:53,963 It's a better trick, in fairness. 992 00:52:56,883 --> 00:52:59,603 You OK, love? - Yeah. 993 00:52:59,603 --> 00:53:01,283 I'm fine. 994 00:53:02,723 --> 00:53:04,603 - I'm glad your mum's found someone. 995 00:53:06,243 --> 00:53:08,483 All that stuff at the house. That was just, you know... 996 00:53:08,483 --> 00:53:10,483 Things were a bit tense. 997 00:53:10,483 --> 00:53:12,243 Ben seems nice. 998 00:53:13,283 --> 00:53:16,283 And he seems good with Joe, and your mum likes him, so... 999 00:53:18,203 --> 00:53:20,323 - Doesn't it make you sad to say that? 1000 00:53:21,483 --> 00:53:23,963 - It makes me sad for you. 1001 00:53:23,963 --> 00:53:25,483 Not for me. 1002 00:53:29,563 --> 00:53:31,083 I'm sorry. 1003 00:53:36,243 --> 00:53:37,843 I'll always be sorry. 1004 00:53:49,203 --> 00:53:52,723 - You going to keep that suit on till the wedding? 1005 00:53:55,643 --> 00:53:58,883 This isn't still about not being his best man, is it? 1006 00:53:58,883 --> 00:54:00,923 He just wanted a mate to do it. 1007 00:54:00,923 --> 00:54:03,323 Josh has been his mate since he was ten. 1008 00:54:03,323 --> 00:54:05,323 - I could tell that by their repartee. 1009 00:54:06,923 --> 00:54:08,963 Do you think I drove Eddie away? 1010 00:54:13,203 --> 00:54:14,643 - What's brought this on? 1011 00:54:14,643 --> 00:54:16,843 - Something Ralph said. 1012 00:54:16,843 --> 00:54:18,203 "You're not my dad." 1013 00:54:18,203 --> 00:54:20,643 - Well, he was probably just being stroppy. 1014 00:54:20,643 --> 00:54:22,683 That's what young men say to older men. 1015 00:54:22,683 --> 00:54:23,963 - I'm not, though, am I? 1016 00:54:23,963 --> 00:54:26,323 I drive me own son away, and now, well... 1017 00:54:26,323 --> 00:54:28,523 What am I to Ralph, when all's said and done? 1018 00:54:28,523 --> 00:54:31,083 - You're just going to have to grin and bear this, Maurice. 1019 00:54:31,083 --> 00:54:33,243 Because this is Ralph's wedding! 1020 00:54:33,243 --> 00:54:34,963 - Well, that's just it, isn't it? 1021 00:54:34,963 --> 00:54:36,403 When you think about it. 1022 00:54:36,403 --> 00:54:38,963 What's the point of me even going to the wedding? 1023 00:54:38,963 --> 00:54:40,323 - Ugh! 1024 00:55:00,163 --> 00:55:02,483 - HE CLEARS THROAT 1025 00:55:02,483 --> 00:55:04,443 PHONE BUZZES 1026 00:55:07,283 --> 00:55:08,443 - Hello? 1027 00:55:09,683 --> 00:55:12,043 - Hiya. - Oh. Hello. 1028 00:55:12,043 --> 00:55:13,683 - Erm... 1029 00:55:13,683 --> 00:55:16,363 I was thinking about Joe at Ralph's wedding. 1030 00:55:16,363 --> 00:55:17,963 Cos he's going to need a... 1031 00:55:17,963 --> 00:55:19,283 ..a mate or two there. 1032 00:55:19,283 --> 00:55:21,163 Cos kids get bored...at weddings. 1033 00:55:21,163 --> 00:55:22,923 And I was thinking... 1034 00:55:22,923 --> 00:55:24,643 ..it'd be great... 1035 00:55:24,643 --> 00:55:26,883 ..if Bill could come. 1036 00:55:26,883 --> 00:55:29,683 And he can't come on his own, so maybe... 1037 00:55:29,683 --> 00:55:31,323 ..you could come, too. 1038 00:55:31,323 --> 00:55:33,163 To Ralph's wedding. 1039 00:55:33,163 --> 00:55:35,363 If you're free? 1040 00:55:35,363 --> 00:55:37,003 As my plus one? 1041 00:55:37,003 --> 00:55:39,203 - Well, plus two with Bill. 1042 00:55:40,443 --> 00:55:42,163 - Yeah! Obviously. 1043 00:55:44,643 --> 00:55:45,963 Would you like to come? 1044 00:55:45,963 --> 00:55:47,283 - Erm... 1045 00:55:47,283 --> 00:55:50,723 Er, well... Er, yeah, that'd be lovely. 1046 00:55:50,723 --> 00:55:52,003 - Great. 1047 00:55:52,003 --> 00:55:53,803 Oh. And, er, Sarah? - Yeah? 1048 00:55:53,803 --> 00:55:55,563 - Maybe don't wear the onesie. 1049 00:55:58,003 --> 00:55:59,443 - OK, then, bye. 1050 00:55:59,443 --> 00:56:02,043 Er, OK, well, b-b-bye then, Paul. Bye. 1051 00:56:10,003 --> 00:56:11,883 - HE EXHALES 1052 00:56:22,403 --> 00:56:24,003 Have you seen this one? 1053 00:56:24,003 --> 00:56:26,403 - That's lovely. 1054 00:56:26,403 --> 00:56:29,523 Have you...seen this one? 1055 00:56:29,523 --> 00:56:31,003 I booked it. 1056 00:56:31,003 --> 00:56:33,043 Weekend after next. 1057 00:56:33,043 --> 00:56:35,003 If you fancy it? - Yes, I do. 1058 00:56:35,003 --> 00:56:37,803 That's lovely. Thank you. 1059 00:56:39,243 --> 00:56:41,523 I'm looking forward to it already. 1060 00:56:46,443 --> 00:56:49,443 - Are you coming to bed? - Yeah, I'll be up in a minute. 1061 00:56:52,003 --> 00:56:53,483 - Yep. 1062 00:56:53,483 --> 00:56:54,883 Sure. 1063 00:56:54,883 --> 00:56:56,883 In a minute. 1064 00:56:56,883 --> 00:56:58,483 - Ben... 1065 00:57:31,443 --> 00:57:34,563 - This is Doug. He's Ralph's dad. - Hello, son. 1066 00:57:34,563 --> 00:57:36,443 - Sarah! 1067 00:57:36,443 --> 00:57:38,443 You like Bill's mum, Sarah, don't ya? 1068 00:57:38,443 --> 00:57:40,443 - I promise I won't get drunk and disgrace myself. 1069 00:57:40,443 --> 00:57:42,723 - I'd be disappointed if you don't. 1070 00:57:42,723 --> 00:57:45,203 - I should've stayed in touch. - Yeah, you should. 1071 00:57:45,203 --> 00:57:46,923 - He's not seen you for ten years. 1072 00:57:46,923 --> 00:57:49,243 This is the day before his wedding, for God's sake! 1073 00:57:49,243 --> 00:57:50,763 - You've got what you wanted. 1074 00:57:50,763 --> 00:57:53,243 I'm just not sure it's what Ralph wanted.