1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:04,483 Katie asked me to marry her. - Oh, congratulations! 2 00:00:05,443 --> 00:00:07,923 - Try that on. - Stop fussing! You're not my dad! 3 00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:10,963 - I didn't want him seeing it in this state! 4 00:00:10,963 --> 00:00:13,203 - I've seen better episodes of Grand Designs. 5 00:00:13,203 --> 00:00:15,683 - I was thinking about Ralph's wedding. 6 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:16,763 Would you like to come? 7 00:00:16,763 --> 00:00:19,883 - Er, well, er... Yeah, that'd be lovely. - Great. 8 00:00:19,883 --> 00:00:21,843 - What am I to Ralph, when all's said and done? 9 00:00:21,843 --> 00:00:25,363 - You're just going to have to grin and bear this, Maurice, 10 00:00:25,363 --> 00:00:27,603 because this is Ralph's wedding! 11 00:00:30,683 --> 00:00:35,763 This programme contains some strong language. 12 00:00:44,803 --> 00:00:48,723 - # Street's like a jungle 13 00:00:48,723 --> 00:00:51,443 # So call the police 14 00:00:52,883 --> 00:00:56,083 # Following the herd 15 00:00:56,083 --> 00:00:59,123 # Down to Greece 16 00:00:59,123 --> 00:01:01,163 - # On holiday 17 00:01:01,163 --> 00:01:03,803 # Love in the '90s 18 00:01:03,803 --> 00:01:07,283 # Is paranoid 19 00:01:09,163 --> 00:01:12,163 # On sunny beaches 20 00:01:12,163 --> 00:01:15,963 # Take your chances 21 00:01:15,963 --> 00:01:18,203 # Looking for girls who are boys 22 00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:19,963 # Who like boys to be girls 23 00:01:19,963 --> 00:01:22,043 # Who do boys like they're girls 24 00:01:22,043 --> 00:01:23,843 # Who do girls like they're boys... # 25 00:01:23,843 --> 00:01:27,483 - OK. - # Always should be someone... # 26 00:01:27,483 --> 00:01:28,883 - Now. 27 00:01:28,883 --> 00:01:30,083 - You all right, Joe? 28 00:01:30,083 --> 00:01:31,723 - Now I walk. - Really? 29 00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,523 OK. 30 00:01:42,483 --> 00:01:44,403 Hello, Maurice. 31 00:01:44,403 --> 00:01:45,843 - Wee or walk? 32 00:01:45,843 --> 00:01:47,123 - Walk. 33 00:01:48,323 --> 00:01:51,963 - # Girls who are boys Who like boys to be girls 34 00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:55,923 # Who do boys like they're girls Who do girls like they're boys 35 00:01:55,923 --> 00:02:00,123 # Always should be someone you really love... # 36 00:02:00,123 --> 00:02:02,323 - CAR HONKS 37 00:02:03,603 --> 00:02:05,403 - All right, all right! - Oy! Oy! 38 00:02:05,403 --> 00:02:06,843 - You're not in Spain! 39 00:02:07,803 --> 00:02:11,283 - # Girls who are boys Who like boys to be girls 40 00:02:11,283 --> 00:02:16,123 # Who do boys like they're girls Who do girls like they're boys... # 41 00:02:17,163 --> 00:02:20,323 - Have you any idea who that pick-up truck belongs to parked outside? 42 00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:21,523 - Yes, I have, as it goes. 43 00:02:21,523 --> 00:02:22,883 - He nearly killed me, 44 00:02:22,883 --> 00:02:25,523 Paul and Joe. Sounding his horn like Bertie Big Bollocks. 45 00:02:25,523 --> 00:02:28,163 I bet he's from Lancaster, flash so-and-so. 46 00:02:28,163 --> 00:02:30,243 - He's from Kirkby Lonsdale. Not Lancaster. - What? 47 00:02:30,243 --> 00:02:31,763 - We've got a visitor. 48 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:39,523 This is Doug. 49 00:02:39,523 --> 00:02:41,523 He's Ralph's Dad. 50 00:02:41,523 --> 00:02:43,723 - Sorry about the car horn, mucker. 51 00:02:43,723 --> 00:02:46,763 Builder's manners, I'm afraid, and I was worried you hadn't heard me. 52 00:02:48,283 --> 00:02:49,803 - When was all this arranged? 53 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,923 - It wasn't. - I was a bag of nerves, to be honest - 54 00:02:51,923 --> 00:02:53,843 coming here, after all this time. 55 00:02:53,843 --> 00:02:56,603 I never expected I would, and then I got your letter... 56 00:02:58,203 --> 00:03:00,603 - I wrote to Doug to tell him that Ralph was getting married 57 00:03:00,603 --> 00:03:02,243 because I thought he had a right to know. 58 00:03:02,243 --> 00:03:05,523 It wasn't an invitation to just drop in. 59 00:03:05,523 --> 00:03:08,083 - Well, as I'm here, I'd like to see Ralph, 60 00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:11,163 to congratulate him and maybe meet his fiancee. 61 00:03:11,163 --> 00:03:12,363 And then I'll bugger off. 62 00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:14,523 - He's not marrying into money, if that's why you came. 63 00:03:14,523 --> 00:03:15,723 - Louise... 64 00:03:15,723 --> 00:03:17,643 - I'd like him to know I care about him. 65 00:03:17,643 --> 00:03:20,723 - If you cared about him, you would have rung first! 66 00:03:20,723 --> 00:03:24,163 - Ralph doesn't know you're coming? - Exactly! So you toddle off, Doug, 67 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:25,883 and we'll arrange this properly. 68 00:03:25,883 --> 00:03:27,243 - Well, I'm here now, aren't I? 69 00:03:27,243 --> 00:03:28,363 - You can't just... 70 00:03:30,883 --> 00:03:32,963 He's not seen you for ten years! 71 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:36,243 This is the day before his wedding, for God's sake! 72 00:03:36,243 --> 00:03:38,523 - Hi, Mum. - Hiya! 73 00:03:47,243 --> 00:03:49,283 Hello, son. 74 00:03:49,283 --> 00:03:51,043 Argh! 75 00:03:51,043 --> 00:03:53,603 That's... That's a handshake and a half! 76 00:03:53,603 --> 00:03:55,643 What you thinking about United, eh? 77 00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:58,643 Or don't we want to go there? And you must be Katie. 78 00:03:58,643 --> 00:03:59,723 Pleased to meet you. 79 00:04:03,483 --> 00:04:05,883 - Are you happy now? The lad's in shock. 80 00:04:06,923 --> 00:04:09,683 I'm sorry, Ralph, I had no idea he was going to show up like this. 81 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:12,123 - Bit of a surprise, eh? - OK, right, that's enough, Doug. 82 00:04:12,123 --> 00:04:14,243 - I only wanted to say hello to the lad. 83 00:04:14,243 --> 00:04:17,123 - I said that's enough! Not like this. 84 00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,323 No, it's not going to happen like this. 85 00:04:19,323 --> 00:04:20,763 You go away. 86 00:04:20,763 --> 00:04:21,923 I will talk to Ralph. 87 00:04:21,923 --> 00:04:25,363 And if he wants to see you, I will call you. 88 00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:26,843 - Is that all right with you, Ralph? 89 00:04:30,283 --> 00:04:31,923 - I could come back at lunchtime. 90 00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,323 I'll bring sandwiches! - I'll call you either way. 91 00:04:39,483 --> 00:04:41,123 - I'll see you later, I hope, son. 92 00:04:51,523 --> 00:04:52,923 - DOOR SHUTS 93 00:04:58,763 --> 00:05:01,163 I promise you, I had no idea. 94 00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:03,163 I'm sorry. - OK. 95 00:05:03,163 --> 00:05:06,323 - And whatever you want to do, I will back you. 96 00:05:06,323 --> 00:05:09,963 If you want to see him now, or after the wedding, 97 00:05:09,963 --> 00:05:12,003 then that's fine with me. 98 00:05:12,003 --> 00:05:14,803 Or...he doesn't need to come back at all. 99 00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:19,003 It's entirely up to you. 100 00:05:19,003 --> 00:05:21,203 - He's here now. 101 00:05:24,723 --> 00:05:25,963 - OK. 102 00:05:25,963 --> 00:05:28,123 - He's not exactly what I expected. 103 00:05:28,123 --> 00:05:29,643 - Which was what? 104 00:05:29,643 --> 00:05:32,403 - Well, in my head, he was always an ageing sociology teacher with 105 00:05:32,403 --> 00:05:34,723 a pot belly and erectile dysfunction. 106 00:05:34,723 --> 00:05:36,603 - What is he like? - He's about your height. 107 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:38,843 But he looks like he's looked after himself - 108 00:05:38,843 --> 00:05:41,563 might even be on nodding terms with a bench press. 109 00:05:41,563 --> 00:05:44,203 - It's nice to see that you're capable of the sensitive response 110 00:05:44,203 --> 00:05:47,283 this complex situation requires, Grandad. 111 00:05:47,283 --> 00:05:49,043 - Sensitive response? 112 00:05:49,043 --> 00:05:52,243 More like two silverbacks throwing shit at each other. 113 00:05:52,243 --> 00:05:54,523 - Ralph's made it very clear that I'm not his dad. 114 00:05:54,523 --> 00:05:56,643 He's already dropped me for the Cup Final, 115 00:05:56,643 --> 00:05:59,243 and now I might end up getting a free transfer. 116 00:06:01,003 --> 00:06:02,603 - You all right, Champion? 117 00:06:02,603 --> 00:06:04,603 You moving out? 118 00:06:04,603 --> 00:06:06,123 - I'm ready. 119 00:06:04,603 --> 00:06:06,123 PHONE CHIMES 120 00:06:06,123 --> 00:06:07,843 - I've told you already, mate. 121 00:06:07,843 --> 00:06:09,323 I can't take you today. 122 00:06:09,323 --> 00:06:10,843 - I know. 123 00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:12,243 I'm ready. 124 00:06:12,243 --> 00:06:15,523 - I've got the food to sort out for the wedding tomorrow, 125 00:06:15,523 --> 00:06:19,523 got Ralph's drinks later, Rebecca's doing up the village hall. 126 00:06:19,523 --> 00:06:21,283 - I know. 127 00:06:21,283 --> 00:06:23,483 - I'll take you some other time, OK? 128 00:06:24,563 --> 00:06:25,923 Farm park. 129 00:06:25,923 --> 00:06:27,283 - Ah. 130 00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:34,123 - Sorry, Joe. I've got to be somewhere. 131 00:06:35,643 --> 00:06:38,123 - You're going to have to come with me to The Fellside, Joe. 132 00:06:38,123 --> 00:06:39,603 You can be a waiter if you like - 133 00:06:39,603 --> 00:06:42,363 that way you still get to feed some animals! 134 00:06:42,363 --> 00:06:44,083 - SHE LAUGHS 135 00:06:45,163 --> 00:06:47,243 What animals? 136 00:06:47,243 --> 00:06:48,643 - Never mind. 137 00:06:56,243 --> 00:06:59,203 - # She doesn't know why she's feeling sad 138 00:06:59,203 --> 00:07:01,963 # She'll never get what she's never had 139 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,763 # She wants to leave home But she can't get away 140 00:07:04,763 --> 00:07:07,963 # Always on her own every single day Cos she's a... # 141 00:07:09,003 --> 00:07:11,123 - Hey, listen, I've got some good news. 142 00:07:11,123 --> 00:07:13,243 You know your mate, Bill? 143 00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:14,963 He's coming to the wedding. 144 00:07:14,963 --> 00:07:16,243 Hey? 145 00:07:16,243 --> 00:07:17,683 - And Ramesh. 146 00:07:17,683 --> 00:07:20,363 - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you like. 147 00:07:20,363 --> 00:07:22,163 Yeah, Bill and Ramesh, always together. 148 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:28,043 So, cos, you know, Bill's coming, 149 00:07:28,043 --> 00:07:30,763 his mum's going to come, too - Sarah. 150 00:07:33,683 --> 00:07:37,243 You like Bill's mum, Sarah, don't you? She's nice, isn't she? 151 00:07:37,243 --> 00:07:40,363 She's kind and...and funny... - HE CHUCKLES 152 00:07:43,403 --> 00:07:44,763 - Er... - Big eyes. 153 00:07:45,763 --> 00:07:46,803 - Yeah. 154 00:07:46,803 --> 00:07:51,803 Has she? Yeah, I suppose she does have big eyes. 155 00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:53,203 Yeah. 156 00:07:54,603 --> 00:07:56,123 Great. Good. 157 00:07:57,683 --> 00:07:58,803 OK... 158 00:07:58,803 --> 00:08:00,883 To business. 159 00:08:00,883 --> 00:08:02,563 - What do you do for a living, Katie? 160 00:08:02,563 --> 00:08:04,443 - I work at a bakery. 161 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,763 - Oh, not just a pretty face 162 00:08:05,763 --> 00:08:10,243 that attracted you, then, Ralph? Free doughnuts for life. 163 00:08:10,243 --> 00:08:11,843 - Sorry I'm late. 164 00:08:11,843 --> 00:08:13,763 - What do you do? 165 00:08:13,763 --> 00:08:15,283 - I'm a builder. 166 00:08:15,283 --> 00:08:17,363 - What do you build? 167 00:08:17,363 --> 00:08:18,843 - Well, I just built my own house. 168 00:08:23,323 --> 00:08:25,643 Well, it's nothing, really. 169 00:08:25,643 --> 00:08:28,643 It... It's, er... It's only Lego for grown-ups. 170 00:08:30,563 --> 00:08:33,643 I know that makes me sound like a bit of a big head, but, erm... 171 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,283 Well, you know what it's like, Ralph, 172 00:08:35,283 --> 00:08:37,883 you know, building something from scratch. 173 00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:40,683 Like you and your brewery in the, er, in the shed there. 174 00:08:40,683 --> 00:08:42,883 - Well, you know, not quite from scratch. 175 00:08:42,883 --> 00:08:44,803 I give him a lift with the equipment. 176 00:08:44,803 --> 00:08:46,483 But, er, he's done well. 177 00:08:46,483 --> 00:08:47,523 - Right. 178 00:08:49,323 --> 00:08:52,283 I wouldn't mind a tour after this, if you fancy. 179 00:09:05,523 --> 00:09:09,643 - Goats, cows, chickens. 180 00:09:09,643 --> 00:09:11,923 Goats, 181 00:09:11,923 --> 00:09:13,843 cows, 182 00:09:13,843 --> 00:09:15,403 chickens. 183 00:09:15,403 --> 00:09:18,043 Goats, cows... 184 00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:21,563 - Joe. - ..chickens. - Joe... 185 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:24,563 Right, erm, the cake plates, they're still in the dishwasher. 186 00:09:24,563 --> 00:09:26,563 The dinner plates are by the door. 187 00:09:26,563 --> 00:09:29,203 Tom, wine can go now if you can. 188 00:09:29,203 --> 00:09:33,043 Er, Joe? Joe, Joe, you can leave that now. - ..cows... 189 00:09:33,043 --> 00:09:34,483 - Hey? 190 00:09:34,483 --> 00:09:36,203 - ..chickens. 191 00:09:36,203 --> 00:09:38,043 - It's not the farm park still? 192 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,283 - He'll get over it. Erm... 193 00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:42,323 Right. 194 00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:47,603 Sarah! Hey! It's, erm, Sarah! 195 00:09:47,603 --> 00:09:49,203 - Hi, there. 196 00:09:49,203 --> 00:09:50,723 I know you're busy. 197 00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:53,443 But, erm, I was just passing by and I thought I'd ask about dress 198 00:09:53,443 --> 00:09:54,923 code, er, for Ralph's wedding. 199 00:09:54,923 --> 00:09:57,483 - Yeah, well, it says come as you are, on the invite. 200 00:09:57,483 --> 00:09:58,763 - I don't know what that is. 201 00:09:58,763 --> 00:10:00,243 - I can take him. 202 00:10:00,243 --> 00:10:01,963 - Huh? 203 00:10:01,963 --> 00:10:05,803 - I can take Joe to the farm park when I'm finished here. 204 00:10:07,323 --> 00:10:09,323 - Joe wants to go to the farm park. 205 00:10:09,323 --> 00:10:11,163 That's, er, very kind of you, 206 00:10:11,163 --> 00:10:14,483 but you can't be taking Joe out in your free time. 207 00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,203 - I don't mind. 208 00:10:16,203 --> 00:10:17,563 I love the farm park. 209 00:10:17,563 --> 00:10:21,443 - Well, that's... That's... That's a lovely offer. 210 00:10:21,443 --> 00:10:22,763 Thank you. 211 00:10:22,763 --> 00:10:24,803 Let me... Let me think about it. 212 00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:31,603 - What a nice young man. 213 00:10:32,723 --> 00:10:35,963 - What? - You should let him take him. 214 00:10:35,963 --> 00:10:37,883 Shouldn't he, Sarah? - Oh, well... 215 00:10:37,883 --> 00:10:40,683 - No, no, no, no, I mean, he's... I like Mark, 216 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:43,163 but trusting Joe with Mark... 217 00:10:43,163 --> 00:10:45,003 - Joe will be Mark's age one day. 218 00:10:45,003 --> 00:10:46,963 - And? - And when Joe's Mark's age, 219 00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:49,523 wouldn't you want someone to trust him? 220 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,683 - I think Rebecca has a point. - Really? 221 00:10:52,683 --> 00:10:54,123 - Great! 222 00:10:54,123 --> 00:10:56,323 Now we've all confirmed our liberal credentials, can 223 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,763 we get back to sprinkling some stardust on the village hall? 224 00:10:58,763 --> 00:11:01,803 - Text us some photos of the animals if you do go, Mark. 225 00:11:01,803 --> 00:11:05,403 - Goat, cow... 226 00:11:05,403 --> 00:11:08,123 - You didn't mean all that, did you, about Rebecca having a point? 227 00:11:08,123 --> 00:11:11,643 I mean, would you let Mark take Bill on a day out? 228 00:11:11,643 --> 00:11:13,403 - Well, maybe not a year ago. 229 00:11:13,403 --> 00:11:15,443 But, erm, well, 230 00:11:15,443 --> 00:11:18,963 let's just say I'm getting a bit more relaxed these days. 231 00:11:18,963 --> 00:11:21,323 Mark seems very responsible, 232 00:11:21,323 --> 00:11:25,123 and all turtles need to cross the beach to the sea one day. 233 00:11:30,883 --> 00:11:35,043 - Wow! This is something! 234 00:11:36,603 --> 00:11:38,323 - Don't touch anything. 235 00:11:38,323 --> 00:11:41,043 - No. No. Course, yeah. 236 00:11:42,643 --> 00:11:43,683 Well... 237 00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:46,843 ..thank you for letting me see this. 238 00:11:46,843 --> 00:11:48,243 - It's all right. 239 00:11:52,803 --> 00:11:57,963 - Look, I-I, er, I might not get another chance to say this, so... 240 00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:01,163 ..I'm sorry. 241 00:12:01,163 --> 00:12:02,603 - What for? 242 00:12:03,883 --> 00:12:05,643 - You know, like... 243 00:12:05,643 --> 00:12:08,683 I-I'm sorry it didn't work out between me and your mum. 244 00:12:08,683 --> 00:12:11,203 I mean, these things happen, 245 00:12:11,203 --> 00:12:15,243 but I should never have left you to handle it on your lonesome. 246 00:12:16,843 --> 00:12:18,843 I thought it'd be easier if I left, but... 247 00:12:20,363 --> 00:12:22,483 ..I should have stayed in touch. 248 00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:24,043 - Yeah. You should. 249 00:12:30,123 --> 00:12:33,043 WHISPERS: - Go on. Ask him! 250 00:12:35,843 --> 00:12:38,003 - Joe... 251 00:12:38,003 --> 00:12:41,003 You know how you really want to go to the farm park? 252 00:12:41,003 --> 00:12:43,483 - Goats. Cows. Chickens. - Exactly. 253 00:12:45,163 --> 00:12:48,243 Well, Mark, over there... 254 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,203 ..has got a free afternoon, 255 00:12:52,203 --> 00:12:55,803 and he said that he'd really like to take you. 256 00:12:55,803 --> 00:12:57,723 And if that's OK with you... 257 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,723 ..then that's OK with me. 258 00:13:07,443 --> 00:13:09,083 - That's OK with me. 259 00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:12,483 - Oh, great. 260 00:13:12,483 --> 00:13:15,643 That's great, then. That's settled. 261 00:13:15,643 --> 00:13:17,123 Hey... 262 00:13:19,563 --> 00:13:21,123 Great. 263 00:13:24,443 --> 00:13:26,803 - A good decision, well made. 264 00:13:26,803 --> 00:13:31,243 Just chill, as Bill would say after a day with his dad's new partner. 265 00:13:31,243 --> 00:13:32,643 - SHE LAUGHS 266 00:13:32,643 --> 00:13:34,323 - Yeah, no, you're right. 267 00:13:34,323 --> 00:13:37,083 Sorry, I wasn't much help with the dress code. - What? 268 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,243 - You came to see me about the dress code. 269 00:13:39,243 --> 00:13:42,243 - Hmm. So that was just an alibi. 270 00:13:44,683 --> 00:13:48,563 I wanted to give you a chance to un-invite me. 271 00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:50,443 - Why would I do that? 272 00:13:50,443 --> 00:13:52,803 - So you definitely want me to come? 273 00:13:58,243 --> 00:14:00,563 - Mark, why don't you and Joe make a list of all the things 274 00:14:00,563 --> 00:14:02,043 you're going to do at the farm park? 275 00:14:05,043 --> 00:14:07,203 - Like an itinerary? - Yep, just like that. 276 00:14:09,043 --> 00:14:11,363 Erm... 277 00:14:11,363 --> 00:14:14,803 If you'd like to come, then, yes, I would like that very much. 278 00:14:17,683 --> 00:14:21,243 - Right. I-I promise I won't get drunk and disgrace myself. 279 00:14:21,243 --> 00:14:22,563 - Really? 280 00:14:22,563 --> 00:14:24,443 - WHISPERS: - I'd be disappointed if you don't. 281 00:14:26,443 --> 00:14:27,483 - Right. 282 00:14:29,083 --> 00:14:30,443 Well, till tomorrow! 283 00:14:32,363 --> 00:14:34,603 That's an awkward wave. 284 00:14:34,603 --> 00:14:35,763 And exit. 285 00:14:39,323 --> 00:14:43,283 Can we... Can we just forget that that bit ever happened? - Yep. 286 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,043 - Thank you. 287 00:14:50,403 --> 00:14:52,043 - Thanks for that. 288 00:14:52,043 --> 00:14:53,483 It went all right, I think. 289 00:14:53,483 --> 00:14:55,043 Do you think? 290 00:14:55,043 --> 00:14:57,643 - It was fine. Yes. - Look, I don't want to be pushy, but I could 291 00:14:57,643 --> 00:14:58,803 stick around if you like, 292 00:14:58,803 --> 00:15:01,083 even come to the wedding, if Ralph wanted me there. 293 00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:04,403 - This is the most important week of his life. 294 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,843 Don't you think you've put him through enough? 295 00:15:07,843 --> 00:15:09,963 No more surprise appearances. 296 00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:14,043 - OK. 297 00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:15,523 Fair enough. 298 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:17,803 You know...you're probably right. 299 00:15:19,683 --> 00:15:21,443 Nice to meet you, Maurice. - And you. 300 00:15:29,523 --> 00:15:32,763 - I will not let him break that lad's heart a second time. 301 00:15:32,763 --> 00:15:35,283 - Well, I don't exactly want him hanging around either, but... 302 00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:37,043 - Good. Then, we're in agreement. 303 00:15:37,043 --> 00:15:39,523 He's been. He's done his bit. Mea culpa. 304 00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:41,083 Let's keep it that way. 305 00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,283 Right, I'm off to get the hall ready and you've got 306 00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:46,803 a stag do to attend. 307 00:15:52,883 --> 00:15:55,563 - Right. Drinks are on the house, lads. 308 00:15:55,563 --> 00:16:00,643 Lager, bitter, IPA, prosecco, a cheeky little Scotch if you like. 309 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:04,283 - Lager, please. - Right. And what about you, Josh? 310 00:16:04,283 --> 00:16:05,883 - He'll have the same. 311 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,203 - Right. Two lagers. OK. 312 00:16:08,203 --> 00:16:10,083 - Halves. 313 00:16:10,083 --> 00:16:12,523 - Very sensible. Don't want to go mad early on. 314 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,283 Bar snack menu, we have got 315 00:16:14,283 --> 00:16:15,963 nachos, Thai fishcakes, 316 00:16:15,963 --> 00:16:18,603 veggie kebab, beer-battered calamari. 317 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:19,723 Mwah. 318 00:16:19,723 --> 00:16:22,043 - Nachos. - Nachos for Ralph. 319 00:16:22,043 --> 00:16:24,043 What about the best man? 320 00:16:24,043 --> 00:16:25,923 - The same. 321 00:16:25,923 --> 00:16:28,883 - Right. Two lagers, two nachos coming up. 322 00:16:30,883 --> 00:16:32,203 - How's it going? 323 00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:34,003 - Any quieter, they'd be on the vegan menu. 324 00:16:40,483 --> 00:16:42,323 - I have the plan. 325 00:16:42,323 --> 00:16:44,243 And the destination. 326 00:16:44,243 --> 00:16:46,963 And the bus timetable. - Great. 327 00:16:48,563 --> 00:16:52,043 Now, remember, safety-first hats on. 328 00:16:52,043 --> 00:16:53,723 - We don't have hats. 329 00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:56,403 - Metaphorical...safety-first hats. 330 00:16:56,403 --> 00:16:58,203 - You just have to trust me, Paul. 331 00:16:58,203 --> 00:17:00,763 - No, I do trust you. Which bus are you getting? 332 00:17:00,763 --> 00:17:02,883 - If you trust me, you wouldn't ask that. 333 00:17:02,883 --> 00:17:05,763 - No, I just...just really like buses. 334 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:09,683 Hm. I like hearing about good bus routes and stops, times, 335 00:17:09,683 --> 00:17:12,643 departures, that kind of thing. - You aren't interested in buses. 336 00:17:12,643 --> 00:17:15,483 - What if you lose your money? - I have emergency money. 337 00:17:15,483 --> 00:17:18,603 - What if you get on the wrong bus? - I won't get on the wrong bus if I lose 338 00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:20,803 my money, because I won't be able to pay for the bus. 339 00:17:20,803 --> 00:17:22,803 So if I lose my money, we will walk home. 340 00:17:24,123 --> 00:17:27,563 - OK. OK. OK. I just... I know. I know. 341 00:17:28,523 --> 00:17:29,683 I know. 342 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:34,923 Have a great time. 343 00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:40,083 Go. Go. Go. 344 00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:42,403 Go on, before you...miss the bus. 345 00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:44,843 - We won't miss the bus. 346 00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:52,243 - Wait! Wait! 347 00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:58,003 Packed lunches. See? 348 00:17:58,003 --> 00:17:59,363 You forgot them. 349 00:18:01,323 --> 00:18:02,963 - I didn't. 350 00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:04,923 You forgot to give them to us. 351 00:18:07,443 --> 00:18:08,643 - Joe. 352 00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:13,203 Mark, my number's in your phone. 353 00:18:43,363 --> 00:18:46,843 - Who's the brains of the operation? Winnie-the-Pooh or Piglet? 354 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,363 - Oh, that were quick. 355 00:18:52,843 --> 00:18:54,483 Oh. 356 00:18:54,483 --> 00:18:56,523 - Maurice. - Doug. 357 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:01,883 - I WAS invited, in case you were wondering. 358 00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:04,163 Ralph messaged me. Didn't you, Ralph? - Yeah. 359 00:19:06,243 --> 00:19:07,283 - Right. 360 00:19:11,203 --> 00:19:12,843 - Goats first, then pigs. 361 00:19:14,843 --> 00:19:16,403 Crisps. 362 00:19:16,403 --> 00:19:17,963 Donkeys. 363 00:19:19,323 --> 00:19:20,483 - Ice lolly. 364 00:19:24,683 --> 00:19:25,963 - Goats. 365 00:19:25,963 --> 00:19:27,763 Crisps. Pigs. 366 00:19:30,243 --> 00:19:31,283 Ice lolly. 367 00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:34,003 Donkeys. Drink. 368 00:19:35,483 --> 00:19:36,923 Chickens. 369 00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:53,403 - How's your best-man speech coming on, then, Josh? 370 00:19:58,883 --> 00:20:00,883 - He wants you to read it out. 371 00:20:00,883 --> 00:20:02,163 - Me? Really? 372 00:20:03,483 --> 00:20:04,883 Thanks. 373 00:20:04,883 --> 00:20:06,203 I'll do a good job. 374 00:20:09,443 --> 00:20:10,843 - Josh doesn't say much. 375 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,723 - Oh, right, I see. 376 00:20:12,723 --> 00:20:14,483 - Strong and silent. 377 00:20:17,043 --> 00:20:19,643 - Do you remember when you went through that non-talking phase? 378 00:20:19,643 --> 00:20:20,723 - No. 379 00:20:22,363 --> 00:20:24,203 - He hadn't talked for three weeks, Maurice, 380 00:20:24,203 --> 00:20:26,723 and his mum said on a Friday, if he didn't start talking again, 381 00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:28,523 she'd take him back to the speech therapist 382 00:20:28,523 --> 00:20:30,283 first thing Monday morning. 383 00:20:30,283 --> 00:20:32,483 - Why weren't you talking? - He held out till Sunday night 384 00:20:32,483 --> 00:20:35,923 and then he started again. I mean, proper full sentences... 385 00:20:35,923 --> 00:20:37,683 - You didn't. - I did. 386 00:20:37,683 --> 00:20:39,803 - He only wanted Cup Final tickets 387 00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:42,923 and he thought if he held out I'd get them him. 388 00:20:42,923 --> 00:20:44,963 His mum was having none of it, though. 389 00:20:44,963 --> 00:20:47,723 She won that one, didn't she, Ralph? Power played you, son. 390 00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:50,123 - She did. - Still got to the Cup Final though, didn't we, eh? 391 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:51,243 - 3-0, Millwall. 392 00:20:51,243 --> 00:20:52,723 - Ronaldo and van Nistelrooy. 393 00:20:52,723 --> 00:20:55,043 O-ho! Happy Days. 394 00:20:55,043 --> 00:20:57,283 Happy days! 395 00:20:57,283 --> 00:20:59,043 - Have you heard anything? 396 00:20:59,043 --> 00:21:00,883 - No. 397 00:21:00,883 --> 00:21:03,683 - Well, that's good, innit? It means they're having a good time. 398 00:21:03,683 --> 00:21:05,123 - Yeah. 399 00:21:05,123 --> 00:21:06,323 Yeah, that'll be it. 400 00:21:06,323 --> 00:21:08,403 - CHANTING: Boom, boom, boom! Let me hear you say Keano! 401 00:21:08,403 --> 00:21:09,683 - Keano! 402 00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:11,723 - THEY LAUGH 403 00:21:14,683 --> 00:21:16,683 - What? 404 00:21:16,683 --> 00:21:20,243 - Nothing, I'm just hoping for a photo from Mark at the Farm Park. 405 00:21:20,243 --> 00:21:21,483 - Right. 406 00:21:21,483 --> 00:21:24,163 Cos a snap of Mark's thumb and half a pig is really important 407 00:21:24,163 --> 00:21:27,163 compared with turning this place into a theatre of love. 408 00:21:27,163 --> 00:21:28,243 - Flowers. 409 00:21:28,243 --> 00:21:30,283 - Delivered, arranging in the morning. 410 00:21:30,283 --> 00:21:32,643 - Crockery. - Present and correct. 411 00:21:32,643 --> 00:21:35,123 - What's that say? Trousers? What? 412 00:21:35,123 --> 00:21:36,723 - Trousers? Trousers! 413 00:21:36,723 --> 00:21:38,123 What time is it? 414 00:21:38,123 --> 00:21:39,963 Oh, can you hold the fort? 415 00:21:39,963 --> 00:21:41,803 Ralph's trousers are being altered. I forgot. 416 00:21:41,803 --> 00:21:43,683 I need to get there before they close. 417 00:21:56,443 --> 00:21:58,163 - Get me good side, Josh. 418 00:21:59,923 --> 00:22:01,923 - Very nice. - Ah, great. 419 00:22:01,923 --> 00:22:03,963 You can send me a copy if you like, mate. 420 00:22:05,723 --> 00:22:07,523 - Um, sorry to interrupt your stag do, Ralph, 421 00:22:07,523 --> 00:22:09,323 but, um, I need to pick up your suit trousers 422 00:22:09,323 --> 00:22:11,803 and I need you with me to try them on. - What, right now? 423 00:22:11,803 --> 00:22:14,163 - Yes! The shop closes in half an hour. 424 00:22:14,163 --> 00:22:15,283 I'm sorry. 425 00:22:16,843 --> 00:22:19,003 You don't have to come if you don't want to, Josh. 426 00:22:22,243 --> 00:22:23,843 Fair enough. 427 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,403 - See you. 428 00:22:25,403 --> 00:22:26,683 - Yeah, see you, son. 429 00:22:28,363 --> 00:22:29,963 All the best for tomorrow. 430 00:22:29,963 --> 00:22:32,043 Have a great day, yeah? 431 00:22:32,043 --> 00:22:33,883 And um, see you soon... 432 00:22:43,723 --> 00:22:45,043 Fancy a coffee? 433 00:22:46,723 --> 00:22:47,923 - Yeah, why not? 434 00:22:47,923 --> 00:22:49,883 Paul! When you've finished checking your phone, 435 00:22:49,883 --> 00:22:51,443 can we have two coffees here, please? 436 00:22:53,243 --> 00:22:55,963 - Richard! Two coffees, table six, just nipping out. 437 00:23:12,443 --> 00:23:14,803 - Sorry I put you in the doghouse with Louise. 438 00:23:14,803 --> 00:23:16,963 - You didn't. She's just protective of Ralph, 439 00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:19,163 and I can't say I blame her. 440 00:23:19,163 --> 00:23:21,243 You seem all right for a builder, 441 00:23:21,243 --> 00:23:23,683 she's just frightened you'll disappear again. Like last time. 442 00:23:23,683 --> 00:23:24,843 - Like last time? 443 00:23:26,803 --> 00:23:29,043 That's what she told you happened, is it? 444 00:23:29,043 --> 00:23:30,363 - She's always said that, in the end, 445 00:23:30,363 --> 00:23:32,763 you couldn't cope with Ralph having Down's syndrome 446 00:23:32,763 --> 00:23:34,283 once he became a teenager. 447 00:23:34,283 --> 00:23:36,363 Why? Are you saying something different? 448 00:23:36,363 --> 00:23:37,523 - No. 449 00:23:37,523 --> 00:23:38,763 No, that's sort of true. 450 00:23:40,283 --> 00:23:41,923 But I... I think I just... I... 451 00:23:42,923 --> 00:23:44,843 ..couldn't really cope with being cut out. 452 00:23:46,803 --> 00:23:49,843 I was... I was disappointed that my lad was how he was. 453 00:23:50,883 --> 00:23:53,123 I won't deny that. Frustrated. 454 00:23:54,563 --> 00:23:57,163 And Louise saw that in me and that became all she ever saw. 455 00:23:58,203 --> 00:23:59,443 She clung to Ralph... 456 00:24:01,283 --> 00:24:03,643 ..and suddenly I was on the outside. I mean, you... You must know 457 00:24:03,643 --> 00:24:05,483 what she's like when she circles 458 00:24:05,483 --> 00:24:07,363 the emotional wagons. 459 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:08,883 The tighter she and Ralph got, 460 00:24:08,883 --> 00:24:10,963 the more I resented being on the outside, 461 00:24:10,963 --> 00:24:12,723 which made her close down even more. 462 00:24:13,963 --> 00:24:16,763 I mean, it didn't give me anywhere else to go, mate. 463 00:24:18,163 --> 00:24:19,643 - But you did go. 464 00:24:19,643 --> 00:24:21,323 You went and you never looked back. 465 00:24:24,523 --> 00:24:25,963 - I just felt like 466 00:24:25,963 --> 00:24:29,243 once me and Louise had decided I should leave, 467 00:24:29,243 --> 00:24:31,923 it...it would only confuse Ralph if I kept turning up. 468 00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:35,723 You know, give him hope that we were going to get back together. 469 00:24:35,723 --> 00:24:40,203 I promise you, I thought it made it easier for him - and Louise. 470 00:24:40,203 --> 00:24:42,643 I realise now it just made it easier for me. 471 00:24:44,123 --> 00:24:45,483 And I want to put that right. 472 00:24:47,443 --> 00:24:48,643 I really do. 473 00:24:51,363 --> 00:24:53,283 - Hiya, Mark. It's Paul. 474 00:24:53,283 --> 00:24:54,443 Another message, I know. 475 00:24:54,443 --> 00:24:57,683 Um, just give me a call as soon as you get this, OK? 476 00:24:57,683 --> 00:24:58,723 OK. 477 00:25:03,003 --> 00:25:05,203 Hi, Rebecca, um... 478 00:25:05,203 --> 00:25:07,163 Yeah, just let me know as soon you hear anything. 479 00:25:08,883 --> 00:25:11,483 Yeah, I know, I know. I know you will. All right. OK, bye-bye. 480 00:25:16,923 --> 00:25:18,643 Sarah? 481 00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:20,603 - Ah, Paul, hi. 482 00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:22,883 Um, have you heard from them? 483 00:25:22,883 --> 00:25:24,563 - Um, no. 484 00:25:24,563 --> 00:25:25,963 What are you doing here? 485 00:25:25,963 --> 00:25:28,723 - Well, I just wanted to check they got here safely. 486 00:25:28,723 --> 00:25:30,283 What about you? 487 00:25:30,283 --> 00:25:32,283 - The same. 488 00:25:32,283 --> 00:25:34,043 What happened to the spirit of freedom 489 00:25:34,043 --> 00:25:35,683 and turtles on the beach? 490 00:25:35,683 --> 00:25:37,843 - I was just saying that to stop you worrying. 491 00:25:37,843 --> 00:25:40,323 Most turtles get eaten by gulls. 492 00:25:40,323 --> 00:25:42,843 - Great. Hopefully that's not going to happen. 493 00:25:42,843 --> 00:25:44,123 - No, um... 494 00:25:44,123 --> 00:25:46,403 - They're obviously lost. 495 00:25:46,403 --> 00:25:49,043 The woman at the entrance said that they haven't been in. 496 00:25:49,043 --> 00:25:51,683 - I know, I asked her. Do you trust her? 497 00:25:51,683 --> 00:25:54,923 Cos I... I was speaking to her for a good ten minutes and I swear she wasn't listening. 498 00:25:54,923 --> 00:25:57,163 - Well, she's hardly likely to forget Mark and Joe, is she? 499 00:26:00,963 --> 00:26:03,003 - PHONE VIBRATES 500 00:26:08,763 --> 00:26:10,323 - Can you wait here, see if they turn up? 501 00:26:10,323 --> 00:26:13,123 I'm going to re-trace their route. - Of course, of course. 502 00:26:13,123 --> 00:26:16,003 What was I thinking, telling you to relax? 503 00:26:16,003 --> 00:26:17,643 I was just trying to impress you, 504 00:26:17,643 --> 00:26:20,003 come over all laid back and adventurous 505 00:26:20,003 --> 00:26:22,243 like Davina McCall or something... 506 00:26:22,243 --> 00:26:23,323 - Huh? 507 00:26:23,323 --> 00:26:26,043 - I overdid the Rescue Remedy before I came to see you. 508 00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,363 I shouldn't really be driving, if the truth be told. 509 00:26:29,803 --> 00:26:31,163 I'm so sorry. 510 00:26:31,163 --> 00:26:32,963 I will stay here and will keep watch. 511 00:26:32,963 --> 00:26:35,643 - I'm sure it'll be fine, but thank you! 512 00:26:36,843 --> 00:26:38,563 - Oh! I have binoculars in the car. 513 00:26:38,563 --> 00:26:40,283 - Great stuff. - And a flare. 514 00:26:40,283 --> 00:26:42,603 - Let me try and phone first, yeah? 515 00:26:42,603 --> 00:26:44,483 - Ha! Good idea. 516 00:26:44,483 --> 00:26:46,523 - PHONE VIBRATES 517 00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:50,083 I used to like circle bread. 518 00:26:51,163 --> 00:26:52,603 - Circle bread? 519 00:26:53,763 --> 00:26:55,283 - Circle bread was what I called it, 520 00:26:55,283 --> 00:26:57,043 when I didn't know bagel. 521 00:26:58,643 --> 00:27:01,043 But that was in the past, 522 00:27:01,043 --> 00:27:02,083 not the future. 523 00:27:04,083 --> 00:27:05,843 - Pizza is a circle. 524 00:27:05,843 --> 00:27:07,763 - It is. 525 00:27:07,763 --> 00:27:08,923 But not circle bread. 526 00:27:13,683 --> 00:27:15,203 - Do you know any songs? 527 00:27:16,403 --> 00:27:17,643 - Yes. 528 00:27:18,843 --> 00:27:20,923 Definitely. 529 00:27:20,923 --> 00:27:21,963 Several. 530 00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:28,683 DOOR CLOSES 531 00:27:28,683 --> 00:27:30,323 Hiya. - Is Ralph in? 532 00:27:32,083 --> 00:27:33,723 - He's in the shed if you want to talk to him. 533 00:27:33,723 --> 00:27:34,803 - No. It'll wait. 534 00:27:34,803 --> 00:27:37,123 Just Doug wanted to wish him all the best for tomorrow. 535 00:27:38,283 --> 00:27:39,323 - Did he? 536 00:27:40,843 --> 00:27:41,883 Good. 537 00:27:41,883 --> 00:27:43,563 Hopefully he won't be back. 538 00:27:50,203 --> 00:27:52,283 - I think he will be back. 539 00:27:52,283 --> 00:27:54,403 I think he means it about 540 00:27:54,403 --> 00:27:56,603 wanting to be involved in Ralph's life again. 541 00:27:56,603 --> 00:27:59,443 - And you discussed this over your calamari, did you? 542 00:27:59,443 --> 00:28:02,163 You've fallen for him - hook, line and sinker. - No, I'm just saying... 543 00:28:02,163 --> 00:28:05,123 - He doesn't get to just pick and choose 544 00:28:05,123 --> 00:28:06,683 when he's involved with Ralph! 545 00:28:06,683 --> 00:28:10,203 - Well, he didn't exactly get to pick and choose last time, did he? 546 00:28:10,203 --> 00:28:11,763 - What? 547 00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:16,283 What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing. 548 00:28:16,283 --> 00:28:17,563 - What's he told you? 549 00:28:17,563 --> 00:28:20,403 - His side, that's all. - His side? 550 00:28:20,403 --> 00:28:22,683 And what's that? - He just told me why he left, 551 00:28:22,683 --> 00:28:24,523 and it doesn't excuse what he did, 552 00:28:24,523 --> 00:28:27,483 but he wanted to explain how he felt at the time. 553 00:28:27,483 --> 00:28:29,843 - And how many pints had he bought you at this stage? 554 00:28:29,843 --> 00:28:32,243 - Outside of things, he said something about wagons. 555 00:28:32,243 --> 00:28:34,683 I can't remember. It sounded better when he said it. 556 00:28:34,683 --> 00:28:35,843 - Wagons? 557 00:28:35,843 --> 00:28:38,283 - The gist of it was that you and Ralph were tight. 558 00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:40,203 I'm just telling you his side. 559 00:28:40,203 --> 00:28:42,763 - He doesn't get to have a side. 560 00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:43,923 - Clearly not. 561 00:28:45,203 --> 00:28:47,123 - The last time I looked, you were upset 562 00:28:47,123 --> 00:28:49,563 because Ralph had reminded you you're not his dad. 563 00:28:49,563 --> 00:28:52,243 Now you're cosying up to the dad 564 00:28:52,243 --> 00:28:54,403 who walked out on him! 565 00:28:54,403 --> 00:28:56,523 - I'm just telling you what he said, that's all. 566 00:28:56,523 --> 00:28:58,243 - He's played you. 567 00:28:58,243 --> 00:29:00,163 That's what he does. 568 00:29:00,163 --> 00:29:01,523 And you fell for it. 569 00:29:01,523 --> 00:29:04,003 - Doug's gone. You've got what you wanted. 570 00:29:04,003 --> 00:29:05,843 I'm just not sure it's what Ralph wanted. 571 00:29:19,083 --> 00:29:20,723 What did you go for? 572 00:29:20,723 --> 00:29:23,483 - Four Bitter and four IPA. 573 00:29:23,483 --> 00:29:25,763 - What about a box of novelty stout just for the dads? 574 00:29:27,323 --> 00:29:28,403 - Help yourself. 575 00:29:35,123 --> 00:29:36,963 - I don't know what you heard from the house, 576 00:29:36,963 --> 00:29:39,083 just a bit of a misunderstanding. 577 00:29:39,083 --> 00:29:41,043 - About Doug? 578 00:29:41,043 --> 00:29:42,283 - About Doug, yeah. 579 00:29:44,363 --> 00:29:46,523 - I liked him. I'm sorry. 580 00:29:46,523 --> 00:29:47,923 - I liked him too, mate. 581 00:29:49,163 --> 00:29:50,363 And he's your dad. 582 00:29:50,363 --> 00:29:51,723 - Yeah, I know that. 583 00:30:13,643 --> 00:30:15,003 - MARK: I can't swim. 584 00:30:16,363 --> 00:30:17,963 Can you swim? 585 00:30:17,963 --> 00:30:19,003 - I don't know. 586 00:30:21,963 --> 00:30:23,043 - But I'm strong. 587 00:30:24,203 --> 00:30:25,563 I have to be in life. 588 00:30:27,123 --> 00:30:28,243 - You are a giant. 589 00:30:32,363 --> 00:30:34,803 - In the army - that I didn't get into, 590 00:30:34,803 --> 00:30:37,763 although it is in the past and forgotten about - 591 00:30:37,763 --> 00:30:39,243 you have to carry weights 592 00:30:39,243 --> 00:30:41,763 and walk for yards and yards and yards. 593 00:30:41,763 --> 00:30:44,083 - And yards and yards. 594 00:30:44,083 --> 00:30:46,363 - It was to see if you were strong enough to get in the army. 595 00:30:49,003 --> 00:30:50,843 - Did we have crisps? 596 00:30:50,843 --> 00:30:53,683 - But when you don't get in, it's called a setback 597 00:30:53,683 --> 00:30:56,043 and your mum tells you to bounce back. 598 00:30:56,043 --> 00:30:57,923 And then you get over it and it's in the past 599 00:30:57,923 --> 00:30:59,683 and not the present or the future and... 600 00:31:01,043 --> 00:31:02,203 Paul? 601 00:31:04,123 --> 00:31:05,243 - Yeah? 602 00:31:05,243 --> 00:31:06,883 - I know you're there. 603 00:31:06,883 --> 00:31:09,163 I don't think it's appropriate to be in the hall. 604 00:31:09,163 --> 00:31:10,363 It's not good manners. 605 00:31:10,363 --> 00:31:11,523 - Sorry. 606 00:31:11,523 --> 00:31:14,683 You just both seemed to be getting on so well. 607 00:31:14,683 --> 00:31:17,083 How were the animals? - We didn't see the animals. 608 00:31:17,083 --> 00:31:19,203 The buses stopped us. - The buses? 609 00:31:19,203 --> 00:31:22,243 - When the first bus came, it wasn't the bus that the timetable said. 610 00:31:22,243 --> 00:31:24,843 - Oh, it was the wrong bus? - The bus number was the same 611 00:31:24,843 --> 00:31:27,283 but it came at the time that it didn't say on the timetable, 612 00:31:27,283 --> 00:31:29,323 so we didn't get on it. 613 00:31:29,323 --> 00:31:31,203 - Right. 614 00:31:31,203 --> 00:31:33,443 - We didn't mean to eat our sandwiches, did we? 615 00:31:34,843 --> 00:31:37,683 - That's Joe's way of saying we ate our sandwiches. 616 00:31:37,683 --> 00:31:40,043 - So the next bus didn't come? 617 00:31:40,043 --> 00:31:43,163 - No, because it had come before. 618 00:31:45,683 --> 00:31:47,363 - So it was the right bus? - Yes. 619 00:31:48,483 --> 00:31:50,123 For somebody it was the right bus. 620 00:31:51,723 --> 00:31:54,403 - I tell you what, lads, I'm going to leave you to it. 621 00:31:54,403 --> 00:31:55,923 We'll be outside if you need us. 622 00:31:57,443 --> 00:31:59,003 - We'll be inside if you need us. 623 00:32:05,723 --> 00:32:08,723 - At what stage did you think you were going to go and check up on them? 624 00:32:08,723 --> 00:32:10,283 - The moment they left. 625 00:32:11,683 --> 00:32:13,883 First lesson of parenting - 626 00:32:13,883 --> 00:32:16,483 give your kids the freedom they need 627 00:32:16,483 --> 00:32:18,843 and worry yourself to death. 628 00:32:18,843 --> 00:32:22,483 - Is that what it's like? - Ah, all the time. 629 00:32:22,483 --> 00:32:24,523 Are you ready for that? 630 00:32:24,523 --> 00:32:26,203 - I'm hoping for a bit of joy. 631 00:32:27,283 --> 00:32:30,483 You always talk about the worry, you never talk much about the joy. 632 00:32:30,483 --> 00:32:32,043 - Don't I? 633 00:32:32,043 --> 00:32:33,203 Well, I should. 634 00:32:34,403 --> 00:32:35,923 And I'll start. Sorry. 635 00:32:37,203 --> 00:32:38,243 There is joy. 636 00:32:39,523 --> 00:32:41,323 First 11 years, in your case. 637 00:32:43,643 --> 00:32:45,843 - I know it's not ideal, but... 638 00:32:45,843 --> 00:32:47,803 ..I didn't come from an ideal family, did I? 639 00:32:49,163 --> 00:32:50,883 We managed, didn't we? 640 00:32:50,883 --> 00:32:52,283 - Yeah. We did. 641 00:32:52,283 --> 00:32:54,283 - And Grandad said he's happy having a baby around 642 00:32:54,283 --> 00:32:56,363 so at least I'll have a roof over my head. - Maurice? 643 00:32:57,363 --> 00:32:59,603 Why? Are you planning to carry on living here? 644 00:32:59,603 --> 00:33:00,963 - To begin with, yeah. 645 00:33:02,563 --> 00:33:05,163 There'll be more room when you and Joe move out. 646 00:33:05,163 --> 00:33:07,163 And my dad said he'll lend me a deposit for a flat. 647 00:33:08,723 --> 00:33:10,083 - Is that what you want? 648 00:33:10,083 --> 00:33:11,723 - Don't have much choice. 649 00:33:33,763 --> 00:33:35,083 - HE SIGHS HEAVILY 650 00:33:43,963 --> 00:33:46,483 ALARM BUZZES 651 00:33:53,443 --> 00:33:57,523 # Have you noticed, I've never been impressed 652 00:33:57,523 --> 00:34:01,603 # By your friends from New York and London? 653 00:34:01,603 --> 00:34:05,363 # I'll level accusations like the press 654 00:34:05,363 --> 00:34:07,363 # Till you realise that you... # 655 00:34:24,123 --> 00:34:26,563 # Because the man's needs 656 00:34:26,563 --> 00:34:31,963 # Man's needs are full of greed Are full of greed... # 657 00:34:31,963 --> 00:34:35,923 When you hand out the flowers, it's one for each man, yeah? 658 00:34:35,923 --> 00:34:38,683 And Ramesh'll be on the other side doing the same thing. 659 00:34:38,683 --> 00:34:41,083 - Look at this for a family of bobby-dazzlers. 660 00:34:41,083 --> 00:34:42,603 - Ah, new suit? 661 00:34:42,603 --> 00:34:44,883 - Yeah, it was overdue. 662 00:34:44,883 --> 00:34:47,083 - Anyone'd think you were making an effort for someone. 663 00:34:47,083 --> 00:34:49,403 - I am! For my wonderful family. 664 00:34:50,483 --> 00:34:53,043 Actually, could you take Joe? 665 00:34:53,043 --> 00:34:55,083 I'll be along in a bit. There's something I need to do. 666 00:34:55,083 --> 00:34:57,163 - Are you going to tell me what? - Hm, no. 667 00:34:58,443 --> 00:35:01,403 - Can you do that? - Is this about Sarah? 668 00:35:01,403 --> 00:35:03,043 - HE SCOFFS 669 00:35:03,043 --> 00:35:05,163 - No. Why would it be about Sarah? 670 00:35:07,563 --> 00:35:08,603 - Go on. 671 00:35:10,123 --> 00:35:11,283 Go on! 672 00:35:15,083 --> 00:35:16,563 - Ralph! 673 00:35:16,563 --> 00:35:18,723 I'm home, but we need to get a move on. 674 00:35:18,723 --> 00:35:20,523 Maurice, are you suited and booted? 675 00:35:42,123 --> 00:35:43,563 - What are you doing here? 676 00:35:43,563 --> 00:35:46,923 - I just asked around for the flash bastard who built his own house. 677 00:35:46,923 --> 00:35:49,763 Not many self-builds in Kirkby Lonsdale. 678 00:35:49,763 --> 00:35:51,323 - No, I mean... 679 00:35:51,323 --> 00:35:53,083 ..what are you doing here? 680 00:36:01,803 --> 00:36:04,243 No, I... I'm not sure about this any more. 681 00:36:04,243 --> 00:36:05,963 I can't see how it's going to play out. 682 00:36:05,963 --> 00:36:08,803 - You deserve to be there, and you said you wanted to come. 683 00:36:08,803 --> 00:36:11,363 And Ralph wants you there. - But Louise doesn't! 684 00:36:11,363 --> 00:36:14,243 You turn up with me, she'll have our bollocks hanging off the wedding cake! 685 00:36:14,243 --> 00:36:16,563 - Listen, where you went wrong with Louise is in not realising 686 00:36:16,563 --> 00:36:19,763 that sometimes you just have to get through those defences and not give up. 687 00:36:19,763 --> 00:36:21,843 She didn't want me involved when she had chemo, 688 00:36:21,843 --> 00:36:24,163 but I battered my way through there and just stayed. 689 00:36:24,163 --> 00:36:26,803 She was grateful in the end. - Chemo? 690 00:36:26,803 --> 00:36:28,643 When was she having chemo? 691 00:36:28,643 --> 00:36:31,123 You didn't know she'd had cancer? Did nobody tell you? 692 00:36:32,523 --> 00:36:34,723 - HE GROANS 693 00:36:34,723 --> 00:36:36,003 Are his trousers all right? 694 00:36:36,003 --> 00:36:38,523 I said an inch and a half and I'm sure they've taken two. 695 00:36:38,523 --> 00:36:40,083 - Mum, it's fine. 696 00:36:40,083 --> 00:36:42,203 - They're a perfect fit, Louise. 697 00:36:42,203 --> 00:36:44,403 He looks very handsome indeed. 698 00:36:44,403 --> 00:36:46,763 They both do. - They do. 699 00:36:46,763 --> 00:36:48,043 They do. 700 00:36:48,043 --> 00:36:50,683 - So you can relax and start to enjoy yourself. 701 00:36:51,923 --> 00:36:55,123 - I could, if I had a clue where Captain Chaos was. 702 00:36:58,123 --> 00:37:01,043 - If you could not let on that you know about Louise's cancer 703 00:37:01,043 --> 00:37:04,363 at the wedding, or any time in the near future, ever, 704 00:37:04,363 --> 00:37:06,763 that'd be great. - I'll be the soul of discretion. 705 00:37:06,763 --> 00:37:08,403 - Great, thanks. 706 00:37:08,403 --> 00:37:09,603 It wasn't my place. 707 00:37:12,923 --> 00:37:14,083 Nice suit. 708 00:37:14,083 --> 00:37:16,243 - Italian, tailor-made. 709 00:37:16,243 --> 00:37:18,523 - Of course it fucking is. - What? 710 00:37:18,523 --> 00:37:20,403 - We're going to be late. 711 00:37:20,403 --> 00:37:23,163 Then she really will have our clackerbags for decorations. 712 00:37:24,323 --> 00:37:26,763 - Could you go and find Joe and hand these out? 713 00:37:26,763 --> 00:37:28,603 - I'll tell the guests to be careful with the pins. 714 00:37:28,603 --> 00:37:30,843 We don't want any casualties. - Good thinking. 715 00:37:33,603 --> 00:37:35,963 - I'm so glad to be here, Louise. 716 00:37:35,963 --> 00:37:39,083 It seems like only yesterday that Ralph was the school lollipop man. 717 00:37:39,083 --> 00:37:40,723 - Yes, it does. 718 00:37:40,723 --> 00:37:42,283 Oh, thank you. 719 00:37:42,283 --> 00:37:43,723 - Thank you. Come on. 720 00:37:46,883 --> 00:37:49,443 - Louise, we're really going to have to make a start soon. 721 00:37:49,443 --> 00:37:52,363 - I know. I know, but he says he's really close. - All right. 722 00:37:54,523 --> 00:37:55,803 - Come on, Maurice. 723 00:38:09,203 --> 00:38:10,803 WHISPERS: - Hello. - Hello. 724 00:38:12,723 --> 00:38:14,603 Why are we whispering? - I don't know. 725 00:38:25,043 --> 00:38:26,963 - All right? 726 00:38:32,203 --> 00:38:34,003 You scrub up well. 727 00:38:34,003 --> 00:38:36,483 - I thought I'd crack open the Body Shop gift set 728 00:38:36,483 --> 00:38:38,203 Bill got me for Mother's Day. 729 00:38:39,203 --> 00:38:41,203 - Imperial Leather. - Ooh! 730 00:38:56,643 --> 00:38:58,083 - You all right? 731 00:39:18,283 --> 00:39:20,643 - We're just going to have to do it, OK? 732 00:39:20,643 --> 00:39:21,763 You ready? 733 00:39:21,763 --> 00:39:23,123 - DOOR BANGS 734 00:39:26,283 --> 00:39:27,603 - Sorry, everybody. Sorry. 735 00:39:28,923 --> 00:39:30,123 - Sorry. 736 00:39:59,203 --> 00:40:00,563 - Ready? 737 00:40:08,763 --> 00:40:12,043 - # This thing called love 738 00:40:12,043 --> 00:40:15,243 # I just can't handle it 739 00:40:15,243 --> 00:40:18,443 # This thing called love 740 00:40:18,443 --> 00:40:21,923 # I must get round to it 741 00:40:21,923 --> 00:40:23,123 # I ain't ready 742 00:40:24,123 --> 00:40:26,163 # Crazy little thing called love 743 00:40:28,643 --> 00:40:30,723 - # This thing - This thing 744 00:40:30,723 --> 00:40:31,923 - # Called love - Called love 745 00:40:31,923 --> 00:40:32,963 - # It cries 746 00:40:32,963 --> 00:40:35,083 - # Like a baby in a cradle all night 747 00:40:35,083 --> 00:40:36,683 - # It swings - Ooh-ooh 748 00:40:36,683 --> 00:40:38,683 - # It jives - Ooh-ooh 749 00:40:38,683 --> 00:40:41,443 # It shakes all over like a jellyfish 750 00:40:41,443 --> 00:40:43,003 # I kind of like it 751 00:40:44,003 --> 00:40:46,083 # Crazy little thing called love 752 00:40:48,803 --> 00:40:52,923 # Glory, glory Man United 753 00:40:52,923 --> 00:40:57,283 # Glory, glory Man United 754 00:40:57,283 --> 00:41:00,883 # Glory, glory Man United 755 00:41:00,883 --> 00:41:04,763 # And the Reds go marching on, on, on! # 756 00:41:09,563 --> 00:41:14,883 - Are you, Ralph Wilson, free lawfully to marry Katie Jane Thorne? 757 00:41:14,883 --> 00:41:16,603 - I am. 758 00:41:16,603 --> 00:41:18,523 - So far, so good. 759 00:41:18,523 --> 00:41:23,603 Are you, Katie Jane Thorne, free lawfully to marry Ralph Wilson? 760 00:41:23,603 --> 00:41:25,003 - I am. 761 00:41:25,003 --> 00:41:27,763 - Ralph and Katie, if you could face each other now. 762 00:41:31,923 --> 00:41:35,403 And repeat after me, Ralph - I, Ralph Wilson. 763 00:41:35,403 --> 00:41:37,323 - I, Ralph Wilson. 764 00:41:37,323 --> 00:41:41,043 - Take you, Katie Jane Thorne. - Take you, Katie Jane Thorne. 765 00:41:41,043 --> 00:41:43,043 - To be my wedded wife. 766 00:41:43,043 --> 00:41:44,443 - To be my wedded wife. 767 00:41:45,363 --> 00:41:49,123 - Now you, Katie, repeat after me - I, Katie Jane Thorne. 768 00:41:49,123 --> 00:41:50,883 - I, Katie Jane Thorne. 769 00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:52,923 - Take you, Ralph Wilson. 770 00:41:52,923 --> 00:41:54,763 - Take you, Ralph Wilson. 771 00:41:54,763 --> 00:41:56,603 - To be my wedded husband. 772 00:41:56,603 --> 00:41:58,243 - To be my wedded husband. 773 00:41:59,163 --> 00:42:02,123 - Now, Ralph, you place the ring on Katie's finger. 774 00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:15,323 - LAUGHTER 775 00:42:24,043 --> 00:42:27,563 - And say out loud the promises you are making to her. 776 00:42:27,563 --> 00:42:31,283 - I promise to help you with everything. 777 00:42:31,283 --> 00:42:33,203 I promise to love you 778 00:42:33,203 --> 00:42:36,323 when it's good and when it's bad. 779 00:42:36,323 --> 00:42:39,123 I promise to be kind, 780 00:42:39,123 --> 00:42:42,523 and I promise to stay with you for the rest of my life. 781 00:42:42,523 --> 00:42:43,963 - Well done, Ralph. 782 00:42:43,963 --> 00:42:45,843 Now you, Katie. 783 00:42:45,843 --> 00:42:47,603 Place the ring on Ralph's finger. 784 00:42:49,923 --> 00:42:50,963 That's it. 785 00:42:52,363 --> 00:42:55,523 And say out loud the promises you are making to him. 786 00:42:55,523 --> 00:42:57,883 - I promise to have fun with you, 787 00:42:57,883 --> 00:42:59,723 to laugh at your jokes, 788 00:42:59,723 --> 00:43:01,083 if you laugh at mine. 789 00:43:01,083 --> 00:43:02,643 LAUGHTER 790 00:43:02,643 --> 00:43:06,843 To cheer you up if you are sad. 791 00:43:06,843 --> 00:43:09,603 I promise to help you 792 00:43:09,603 --> 00:43:12,723 and let you help me, too. 793 00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:16,243 I promise to be ready with a hug at all times. 794 00:43:17,483 --> 00:43:22,003 I promise to love you and be your best friend forever. 795 00:43:23,603 --> 00:43:27,683 - Katie and Ralph, it is a pleasure and a delight 796 00:43:27,683 --> 00:43:32,643 to tell you that you are both husband and wife! 797 00:43:32,643 --> 00:43:34,443 You may kiss the bride. 798 00:43:34,443 --> 00:43:36,483 - CHEERING 799 00:43:42,083 --> 00:43:50,083 MUSIC: To Love Somebody by Bee Gees 800 00:44:11,083 --> 00:44:15,163 - I just wanted to say thank you for bringing Doug. 801 00:44:15,163 --> 00:44:17,123 You were right - for once. 802 00:44:18,243 --> 00:44:19,283 - Right. Thanks. 803 00:44:22,403 --> 00:44:24,283 - That was me letting you off the hook, Maurice - 804 00:44:24,283 --> 00:44:26,003 you could at least look happy about it! 805 00:44:26,003 --> 00:44:27,163 - Oh, I am. Yeah. 806 00:44:31,843 --> 00:44:32,883 - Are you all right? 807 00:44:34,723 --> 00:44:37,163 - SHE TAPS GLASS 808 00:44:37,163 --> 00:44:40,283 - Silence, everyone, for the best man's speech! 809 00:44:48,803 --> 00:44:49,843 What are you doing? 810 00:44:49,843 --> 00:44:53,203 - Er, Josh wants me to read his speech out for him. 811 00:44:56,923 --> 00:45:00,083 I have known Ralph since we met on the first day of school. 812 00:45:00,083 --> 00:45:03,163 I had issues in those days and punched him in the face at playtime. 813 00:45:03,163 --> 00:45:04,803 - LAUGHTER 814 00:45:04,803 --> 00:45:07,203 - But things have got better since then. 815 00:45:07,203 --> 00:45:09,683 And they got better because Ralph looks out for me 816 00:45:09,683 --> 00:45:10,803 and I look out for him. 817 00:45:11,923 --> 00:45:14,363 Ralph has many good points and skills. 818 00:45:14,363 --> 00:45:17,923 He is a good dancer but also thinks he is a good footballer, 819 00:45:17,923 --> 00:45:20,123 and today is the day to tell him he is not. 820 00:45:20,123 --> 00:45:23,083 - LAUGHTER - I have been lying all this time. 821 00:45:24,563 --> 00:45:28,763 But one thing Ralph is is the best mate anyone can have. 822 00:45:28,763 --> 00:45:31,563 And the best son any mum could want. 823 00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:35,923 And he will be the best husband, too. 824 00:45:35,923 --> 00:45:38,323 Can we all raise a glass to Ralph and Katie? 825 00:45:42,403 --> 00:45:44,563 - ALL: Ralph and Katie! 826 00:45:53,883 --> 00:45:55,483 - Well done, son, that was great. 827 00:45:57,403 --> 00:45:58,443 - Thanks. 828 00:46:03,323 --> 00:46:06,923 Ladies and gentleman, please clear the dance floor 829 00:46:06,923 --> 00:46:10,363 as the lovely bride and lovely groom have the first dance! 830 00:46:10,363 --> 00:46:13,203 WHOOPING 831 00:46:13,203 --> 00:46:15,843 - # We'll be singing 832 00:46:15,843 --> 00:46:18,283 # When we're winning 833 00:46:18,283 --> 00:46:20,323 # We'll be singing 834 00:46:21,603 --> 00:46:24,283 - # I get knocked down But I get up again 835 00:46:24,283 --> 00:46:26,083 # You're never gonna keep me down 836 00:46:26,083 --> 00:46:28,883 # I get knocked down But I get up again 837 00:46:28,883 --> 00:46:30,723 # You're never gonna keep me down 838 00:46:30,723 --> 00:46:33,483 # I get knocked down But I get up again 839 00:46:33,483 --> 00:46:35,443 # You're never gonna keep me down 840 00:46:35,443 --> 00:46:37,963 # I get knocked down But I get up again 841 00:46:37,963 --> 00:46:40,323 # You're never gonna keep me down 842 00:46:42,083 --> 00:46:46,603 - # Pissing the night away 843 00:46:46,603 --> 00:46:49,603 # Pissing the night away 844 00:46:49,603 --> 00:46:52,203 - # He drinks a whisky drink He drinks a vodka drink 845 00:46:52,203 --> 00:46:54,403 # He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink 846 00:46:54,403 --> 00:46:56,523 # He sings the songs that remind him of the good times 847 00:46:56,523 --> 00:46:59,323 # He sings the songs that remind him of the better times 848 00:46:59,323 --> 00:47:02,683 - # Oh, Danny boy 849 00:47:02,683 --> 00:47:07,123 # Danny boy, Danny boy... # 850 00:47:07,123 --> 00:47:09,163 - Are you coming, you two? - Give us a minute. 851 00:47:09,163 --> 00:47:12,083 - # But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down 852 00:47:12,083 --> 00:47:15,203 # I get knocked down But I get up again 853 00:47:15,203 --> 00:47:17,163 # You're never gonna keep me down 854 00:47:17,163 --> 00:47:19,523 # I get knocked down But I get up again 855 00:47:19,523 --> 00:47:21,483 # You're never gonna keep me down 856 00:47:21,483 --> 00:47:24,283 # I get knocked down But I get up again 857 00:47:24,283 --> 00:47:26,363 # You're never gonna keep me down... # 858 00:47:26,363 --> 00:47:27,963 Thanks for not chucking me out. 859 00:47:29,203 --> 00:47:31,803 Maurice persuaded me to come. 860 00:47:31,803 --> 00:47:34,283 - I think he was right and I was wrong. 861 00:47:34,283 --> 00:47:36,283 I'm glad you're here. 862 00:47:36,283 --> 00:47:38,723 - Virtually kidnapped me, if I'm honest. 863 00:47:38,723 --> 00:47:40,283 - He's a hard man to say no to. 864 00:47:45,563 --> 00:47:47,043 - He told me you'd had cancer. 865 00:47:48,443 --> 00:47:51,123 Well, I'm dropping him in it, telling you... 866 00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:55,523 ..but if you'd have told me when you found out... 867 00:47:56,683 --> 00:47:57,803 ..I could have helped. 868 00:47:57,803 --> 00:47:59,563 - That's exactly why I didn't tell you, 869 00:47:59,563 --> 00:48:02,403 cos I didn't want you sweeping in and taking over Ralph. 870 00:48:02,403 --> 00:48:05,003 - How could I have done that? The lad adores you! 871 00:48:07,043 --> 00:48:08,923 - Chemo does funny things to your head. 872 00:48:11,323 --> 00:48:14,043 I fell for that lumbering fool under the influence, for starters. 873 00:48:15,563 --> 00:48:17,763 - I've seen pantomime horses move better. 874 00:48:19,963 --> 00:48:23,243 MUSIC: Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue 875 00:48:23,243 --> 00:48:27,163 # Boy, your loving is all I think about 876 00:48:27,163 --> 00:48:30,643 # I just can't get you out of my head 877 00:48:30,643 --> 00:48:35,443 # Boy, it's more than I dare to think about 878 00:48:35,443 --> 00:48:37,923 # La, la, la... # 879 00:48:37,923 --> 00:48:41,443 - Do you dance, Paul? - It has been known. 880 00:48:42,923 --> 00:48:46,323 # I just can't get you out of my head 881 00:48:46,323 --> 00:48:51,323 # Boy, your loving is all I think about... # 882 00:48:51,323 --> 00:48:53,043 - Oh, no, Bill, wait! 883 00:48:53,043 --> 00:48:57,963 - # Boy, it's more than I dare to think about... # 884 00:49:00,403 --> 00:49:04,203 MUSIC: Karma Chameleon by Culture Club 885 00:49:04,203 --> 00:49:07,043 # You come and go 886 00:49:07,043 --> 00:49:10,683 # You come and go... # 887 00:49:10,683 --> 00:49:13,363 Is Maurice going to die soon? 888 00:49:15,363 --> 00:49:19,643 - He's come close a couple of times today, but not soon, no, 889 00:49:19,643 --> 00:49:22,043 as long as he behaves himself. 890 00:49:22,043 --> 00:49:24,563 - Maurice will help you when I move out. 891 00:49:26,723 --> 00:49:28,603 - Yes. Yes, he will. 892 00:49:28,603 --> 00:49:33,363 - But he isn't me. - No. He's not you. 893 00:49:33,363 --> 00:49:35,203 - I'll still help you now I'm married. 894 00:49:37,963 --> 00:49:39,883 - I should bloody well think so! 895 00:49:47,123 --> 00:49:52,763 - MUSIC: Tragedy by Steps 896 00:49:53,723 --> 00:49:55,243 # Tragedy 897 00:49:55,243 --> 00:49:57,043 # When the feeling's gone and you can't go on 898 00:49:57,043 --> 00:49:58,603 # It's tragedy 899 00:49:58,603 --> 00:50:01,283 # When the morning cries and you don't know why 900 00:50:01,283 --> 00:50:03,163 # It's hard to bear... # 901 00:50:03,163 --> 00:50:05,923 - I was tempted to leave you here on the dance floor, 902 00:50:05,923 --> 00:50:07,803 dying on your arse for an hour. 903 00:50:07,803 --> 00:50:09,003 - I like a dance! 904 00:50:09,003 --> 00:50:10,563 - No, you don't. 905 00:50:10,563 --> 00:50:13,043 You dance like you've got too much change in your pockets. 906 00:50:14,203 --> 00:50:16,523 - # When the morning cries and you don't know why 907 00:50:16,523 --> 00:50:17,723 # It's hard to bear... # 908 00:50:17,723 --> 00:50:19,403 - I might have told Doug about your cancer. 909 00:50:19,403 --> 00:50:20,843 - I know. He told me. 910 00:50:20,843 --> 00:50:23,563 - I'm sorry. I thought... - You're a liability, Maurice! 911 00:50:26,963 --> 00:50:28,723 But it's OK. 912 00:50:28,723 --> 00:50:30,163 You're MY liability. 913 00:50:35,523 --> 00:50:37,363 - Look at you, doing a Take That! 914 00:50:37,363 --> 00:50:39,203 - Which one - Gary or Howard? 915 00:50:39,203 --> 00:50:41,563 - Mm, all of them. 916 00:50:41,563 --> 00:50:43,603 - # You put your left foot in 917 00:50:43,603 --> 00:50:45,603 # Your left foot out... # 918 00:50:45,603 --> 00:50:48,643 Shall we get out of here before the conga starts? 919 00:50:48,643 --> 00:50:52,203 # You do the hokey cokey and you turn around 920 00:50:52,203 --> 00:50:53,843 # That's what it's all... # 921 00:50:58,723 --> 00:51:01,243 - I didn't have you down as such a smooth operator, Paul. 922 00:51:01,243 --> 00:51:03,803 - Well, I think you're the only person in the world 923 00:51:03,803 --> 00:51:05,843 who could say I was a smooth operator. 924 00:51:05,843 --> 00:51:07,483 - I'm glad you didn't uninvite me. 925 00:51:08,723 --> 00:51:09,763 - I'm glad you came. 926 00:51:16,043 --> 00:51:18,523 - I do feel I have a connection to Ralph anyway because I was... 927 00:51:18,523 --> 00:51:21,243 I was very supportive when he first became the school lollipop man. 928 00:51:21,243 --> 00:51:22,443 - I know, I'm glad. 929 00:51:22,443 --> 00:51:25,763 - Though there was a lot of resistance to the idea - unspoken. 930 00:51:32,043 --> 00:51:35,123 - How did you know there was resistance if it were unspoken? 931 00:51:35,123 --> 00:51:36,723 - Oh, playground mafia. 932 00:51:37,963 --> 00:51:39,003 - Ah! 933 00:51:39,003 --> 00:51:41,923 - Looks, smiles, frowns, narrow eyes and whispers. 934 00:51:41,923 --> 00:51:45,643 - Oh, do that bit again - the narrow eyes and whispers bit. 935 00:51:47,203 --> 00:51:50,083 - I can't do impersonations to order, Paul. 936 00:51:50,083 --> 00:51:53,163 I lost all feeling down one side at Christmas due to charades. 937 00:52:01,283 --> 00:52:04,643 I think I may have ruined the moment. - No, you haven't. 938 00:52:10,723 --> 00:52:13,363 - Mrs Bill's mum! Mr Joe's dad! 939 00:52:13,363 --> 00:52:14,723 Bill needs his inhaler. 940 00:52:14,723 --> 00:52:16,883 - If he's been experimenting with the helium balloons, 941 00:52:16,883 --> 00:52:18,163 you need to tell me now, Ramesh! 942 00:52:18,163 --> 00:52:20,123 - No. I think it's mainly panic. 943 00:52:20,123 --> 00:52:22,843 He started hyperventilating during the Hokey Cokey. 944 00:52:34,643 --> 00:52:36,283 - He seems fine now, Ramesh! 945 00:52:36,283 --> 00:52:38,443 - I told him to breathe into a paper bag. 946 00:52:38,443 --> 00:52:40,043 It seems to have done the trick. 947 00:52:42,723 --> 00:52:45,003 - I should never have left him on his own. 948 00:52:45,003 --> 00:52:46,683 Behaving like a giddy teenager! 949 00:52:46,683 --> 00:52:48,963 - # I really love your tiger feet... # 950 00:52:48,963 --> 00:52:50,603 - These things happen. 951 00:52:50,603 --> 00:52:53,123 - Thanks for inviting me, Paul. 952 00:52:53,123 --> 00:52:55,443 It's always nice to escape yourself for a bit. 953 00:52:55,443 --> 00:52:58,563 - # Your tiger feet... # 954 00:52:58,563 --> 00:53:00,643 - Is that you talking or the Rescue Remedy? 955 00:53:29,923 --> 00:53:32,563 - # That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat 956 00:53:32,563 --> 00:53:35,283 # I really love your tiger feet... # 957 00:53:35,283 --> 00:53:37,403 - You OK? You bearing up? 958 00:53:37,403 --> 00:53:38,803 - Yeah. 959 00:53:41,203 --> 00:53:42,243 - What is it? 960 00:53:43,843 --> 00:53:44,883 - Those two. 961 00:53:46,963 --> 00:53:48,763 I was just wondering what it was like 962 00:53:48,763 --> 00:53:50,523 to be so certain about your future. 963 00:53:57,083 --> 00:53:58,923 - Come on. 964 00:53:58,923 --> 00:54:00,683 There's something you should see. 965 00:54:02,203 --> 00:54:03,243 Come on. 966 00:54:03,243 --> 00:54:05,283 - # That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right 967 00:54:05,283 --> 00:54:07,923 # I really love your tiger light 968 00:54:07,923 --> 00:54:10,323 # That's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat 969 00:54:10,323 --> 00:54:12,883 # I really love your tiger feet... # 970 00:54:15,283 --> 00:54:16,963 - Are we allowed to do this? 971 00:54:16,963 --> 00:54:19,163 - What, go into our own house? Er, yeah. 972 00:54:19,163 --> 00:54:20,723 I think the law is on our side. 973 00:54:20,723 --> 00:54:22,723 - No, I mean, sneak out of a wedding. 974 00:54:24,723 --> 00:54:26,963 I thought we were coming to see Joe's room. 975 00:54:26,963 --> 00:54:28,723 - Oh, well... 976 00:54:28,723 --> 00:54:30,523 Thanks, mate. 977 00:54:30,523 --> 00:54:33,843 Me and Joe thought we were coming to look at your room. 978 00:54:33,843 --> 00:54:36,643 - My room? - Yeah, if you want it. 979 00:54:37,643 --> 00:54:41,763 I was thinking - room for a bed there, 980 00:54:41,763 --> 00:54:44,283 cot, wardrobe maybe. 981 00:54:44,283 --> 00:54:46,203 - When did you decide this? 982 00:54:46,203 --> 00:54:48,123 - It were always going to be yours. 983 00:54:48,123 --> 00:54:49,443 I wanted to surprise you, 984 00:54:49,443 --> 00:54:51,683 but then you started talking about having to stay living 985 00:54:51,683 --> 00:54:53,723 at Maurice's and I thought, 986 00:54:53,723 --> 00:54:56,523 "Oh, maybe I'd better finish it, put you out of your misery." 987 00:54:57,963 --> 00:55:01,323 There's always going to be a place for you here if you want it. 988 00:55:01,323 --> 00:55:02,683 I assumed you'd know that. 989 00:55:04,363 --> 00:55:06,563 You don't have to take it. 990 00:55:06,563 --> 00:55:07,843 But it'll always be here. 991 00:55:09,923 --> 00:55:12,683 - Is it OK with you if me and the new friend live here? 992 00:55:14,443 --> 00:55:15,883 - That's OK with me. 993 00:55:19,643 --> 00:55:20,883 That's OK with me. 994 00:55:22,123 --> 00:55:24,083 - Thanks, Dad! - Hey! 995 00:55:28,403 --> 00:55:30,963 - Thanks, Joe! Come here. 996 00:55:46,883 --> 00:55:50,243 - LOW CONVERSATION 997 00:55:55,803 --> 00:55:58,123 - This is the best champagne I've ever tasted. 998 00:55:58,123 --> 00:55:59,603 - I know. 999 00:55:59,603 --> 00:56:03,443 - It's got a malty depth, but it never forgets that its citrus 1000 00:56:03,443 --> 00:56:06,643 undertones are what makes it stand out from the IPA crowd... 1001 00:56:06,643 --> 00:56:08,043 - Shut up, Maurice. 1002 00:56:09,763 --> 00:56:11,323 - Sorry. 1003 00:56:11,323 --> 00:56:13,723 I'm a bit overexcited. 1004 00:56:13,723 --> 00:56:15,483 - But it's my wedding day. 1005 00:56:15,483 --> 00:56:17,523 - Mm, I know. 1006 00:56:19,683 --> 00:56:22,163 - Thank you for saying Josh's speech. 1007 00:56:22,163 --> 00:56:23,963 - Pleasure. 1008 00:56:23,963 --> 00:56:25,603 - And for today. 1009 00:56:25,603 --> 00:56:26,643 - Well, you know. 1010 00:56:26,643 --> 00:56:29,283 - And Doug - thank you for bringing him. 1011 00:56:30,283 --> 00:56:31,923 - He's your dad. He should be here. 1012 00:56:38,603 --> 00:56:40,163 - You're not my dad. 1013 00:56:41,883 --> 00:56:43,603 - I know that, son. 1014 00:56:43,603 --> 00:56:45,083 I know. 1015 00:56:47,123 --> 00:56:48,563 - You're better. 1016 00:56:56,603 --> 00:56:59,443 - I don't think I'll tell anybody else that you said that. 1017 00:56:59,443 --> 00:57:00,843 - No, you won't. 1018 00:57:11,243 --> 00:57:13,963 - Everything's under control. I know it's a big day for you. 1019 00:57:13,963 --> 00:57:16,363 Probably the biggest of your life since you actually had Ralph. 1020 00:57:16,363 --> 00:57:18,203 I'm moving in with Louise. - Right. 1021 00:57:18,203 --> 00:57:20,803 - This arrangement - it's not working out, is it? 1022 00:57:20,803 --> 00:57:23,883 - Maybe I need to feel that there's something more. 1023 00:57:23,883 --> 00:57:25,283 - We're OK, aren't we? 1024 00:57:25,283 --> 00:57:27,043 - I don't think we are. 1025 00:57:27,043 --> 00:57:29,003 - I'm not sure if Sarah's a friend, or... 1026 00:57:30,163 --> 00:57:31,923 ..something more. - Joe's friend... 1027 00:57:31,923 --> 00:57:34,123 ..is what Joe and I call the baby I'm having. 1028 00:57:35,363 --> 00:57:37,803 I think the baby's coming, OK? Do you understand? 1029 00:57:37,803 --> 00:57:41,883 - The friend? - Yeah, the friend. The friend's coming.