1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:04,843 - Mr Scott, twice in one week. You're spoiling me. - Our secret's out. 2 00:00:04,843 --> 00:00:06,003 - Is it such a bad thing? - Yes. 3 00:00:06,003 --> 00:00:08,443 - For the first time, today, I thought, "Might be OK, here." 4 00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:11,003 - That's a coincidence. For the first time, today, I thought, 5 00:00:11,003 --> 00:00:12,323 "This is never going to work." 6 00:00:12,323 --> 00:00:14,963 - It's your family. You're all so intense. I can't see you again. 7 00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:16,803 - I'm going to Dad's for the weekend. 8 00:00:16,803 --> 00:00:20,003 - Any time you want a lift to your dad's, you only have to ask. 9 00:00:20,003 --> 00:00:21,843 - I thought you hated him. - I do. 10 00:00:21,843 --> 00:00:24,803 - You do know that doing this without taking precautions is 11 00:00:24,803 --> 00:00:26,083 how babies get made. 12 00:00:26,083 --> 00:00:28,003 - Would that be such a bad thing? 13 00:00:28,003 --> 00:00:30,483 - It felt like, for a few moments, I could see the real Joe. 14 00:00:30,483 --> 00:00:32,563 We've got our very own Maya effect, of course. 15 00:00:32,563 --> 00:00:34,803 - Between me and you, we're trying for another baby. 16 00:00:34,803 --> 00:00:36,683 - Can you get me the morning-after pill? 17 00:00:36,683 --> 00:00:40,523 I woke up this morning and just realised, it's not the right time. 18 00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:42,683 - MUSIC: Reward by The Teardrop Explodes 19 00:00:42,683 --> 00:00:46,963 JOE SINGS ALONG: 20 00:00:42,683 --> 00:00:46,963 # Bless my cotton socks 21 00:00:42,683 --> 00:00:46,963 I'm in the news 22 00:00:48,323 --> 00:00:50,443 # The king sits on his face 23 00:00:50,443 --> 00:00:53,883 # But it's all assumed 24 00:00:53,883 --> 00:00:57,403 # All wrapped up the same 25 00:00:57,403 --> 00:01:00,363 # All wrapped up the same 26 00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:03,443 # They can't have it You can't have it 27 00:01:03,443 --> 00:01:05,403 # I can't have it, too 28 00:01:05,403 --> 00:01:07,643 # Until I learn to 29 00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:10,923 # Accept my reward... # 30 00:01:07,643 --> 00:01:10,923 CAR HORN 31 00:01:12,003 --> 00:01:18,683 - This programme contains some strong language 32 00:01:18,683 --> 00:01:21,363 - SIREN WAILS 33 00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:23,243 # Prisoners stand in queues 34 00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:25,523 # And stand accused 35 00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:29,243 # Live in solitude 36 00:01:29,243 --> 00:01:31,323 # Like Howard Hughes... # 37 00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:33,363 MUSIC: Mardy Bum by Arctic Monkeys 38 00:01:33,363 --> 00:01:37,083 THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE 39 00:01:39,883 --> 00:01:42,203 # Laughs and jokes around 40 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,083 # Remember cuddles in the kitchen 41 00:01:44,083 --> 00:01:46,643 # Yeah, to get things off the ground 42 00:01:46,643 --> 00:01:48,523 # And it was... # 43 00:01:48,523 --> 00:01:50,123 - Mind turning the music off? 44 00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:52,283 - OK. 45 00:01:50,123 --> 00:01:52,283 - SHE TURNS THE MUSIC OFF 46 00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:54,403 HE TURNS IT ON 47 00:01:52,283 --> 00:01:54,403 - Joe. 48 00:01:54,403 --> 00:01:56,643 - SHE TURNS IT OFF 49 00:01:54,403 --> 00:01:56,643 # Oh, but it's right hard 50 00:01:56,643 --> 00:01:58,963 # To remember that On a day like today 51 00:01:58,963 --> 00:02:00,763 # When you're all argumentative 52 00:02:00,763 --> 00:02:02,323 # And you've got your face on. # 53 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,443 - Sorry, he's upset. He likes to sing. 54 00:02:04,443 --> 00:02:06,203 He was wandering down the road. 55 00:02:06,203 --> 00:02:08,363 We're taking him back to his parents. 56 00:02:08,363 --> 00:02:10,243 - So he's not actually your child? 57 00:02:10,243 --> 00:02:13,843 - No. We were just giving him a lift home. 58 00:02:13,843 --> 00:02:17,163 - Would you wait there a moment, please? Two-five to control... 59 00:02:17,163 --> 00:02:20,363 - THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE 60 00:02:23,923 --> 00:02:25,083 - Mmm-hmm. 61 00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:26,523 Yeah, it's a light-blue Transit. 62 00:02:26,523 --> 00:02:31,203 It's Mike, Delta, Zero, Four, X-ray, Foxtrot, Foxtrot. 63 00:02:31,203 --> 00:02:32,643 Yeah... 64 00:02:38,003 --> 00:02:40,563 - SHE EXHALES 65 00:02:40,563 --> 00:02:42,043 Morning. - Oh, God. 66 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,563 - SHE GROANS 67 00:02:54,203 --> 00:02:56,323 Mmm... 68 00:02:56,323 --> 00:03:00,123 - No, come on, it's too early for that. 69 00:03:00,123 --> 00:03:01,883 - Oh, I know. 70 00:03:01,883 --> 00:03:03,043 Let's try for twins. 71 00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:05,323 - I don't think biology works that way. 72 00:03:08,643 --> 00:03:10,763 - CAR HORN 73 00:03:08,643 --> 00:03:10,763 - No. Come on, no. 74 00:03:10,763 --> 00:03:13,203 That's Stuart dropping Becky off. - Oh, God. 75 00:03:13,203 --> 00:03:15,403 Him and his car horn - sounds like a twat. 76 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,683 - Now, now, don't start. 77 00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:17,683 - HE SIGHS 78 00:03:17,683 --> 00:03:19,043 - I'm sorry we're here so early. 79 00:03:19,043 --> 00:03:21,043 I forgot the roads were so empty around here. 80 00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:23,683 - Oh, surely the crowds gathered at the roadside to 81 00:03:23,683 --> 00:03:25,563 catch a glimpse of you(!) - Same old Alison. 82 00:03:25,563 --> 00:03:28,043 - Well, there's a sight I don't want to see any time soon. 83 00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:31,523 - Look at my new sister. Isn't she cute? 84 00:03:31,523 --> 00:03:33,163 - Hi, Paul. Are you all right? - Hey. 85 00:03:33,163 --> 00:03:34,763 - Oh, what is it about Alison? 86 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:37,323 She always manages to find a man to run around after her. 87 00:03:37,323 --> 00:03:39,403 - HE LAUGHS WEAKLY 88 00:03:39,403 --> 00:03:41,923 - Rebecca tells me you're opening the restaurant soon. 89 00:03:41,923 --> 00:03:44,043 - Erm, gastro-pub. Yeah, not long, now. 90 00:03:44,043 --> 00:03:46,523 The chef's doing his first cook-ups today, so... 91 00:03:46,523 --> 00:03:49,083 - It's very brave - pubs are closing left, right and centre. 92 00:03:49,083 --> 00:03:51,203 - It's a gastro-pub. - Paul knows what he's doing. 93 00:03:51,203 --> 00:03:52,363 - I'm not saying he doesn't, 94 00:03:52,363 --> 00:03:55,363 I'm just saying it's a difficult time to be opening anything up. 95 00:03:55,363 --> 00:03:57,283 - Especially in this conversation. 96 00:03:57,283 --> 00:03:58,763 - Paul's done his research. 97 00:03:58,763 --> 00:04:01,403 It's a great location, great chef, locally sourced produce. 98 00:04:01,403 --> 00:04:03,643 - You don't know he's a great chef, yet, though, do you? 99 00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:06,723 I mean, if he's only just doing his first cook-ups. 100 00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:08,523 - How's the caravan business, Stuart? 101 00:04:08,523 --> 00:04:10,283 - Camper van? Thriving, yeah. 102 00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:11,643 It's just gone mad, actually. 103 00:04:11,643 --> 00:04:13,123 A load of middle-aged couples, 104 00:04:13,123 --> 00:04:15,403 going off to festivals after the kids have left home. 105 00:04:15,403 --> 00:04:18,643 - Well, with your ever-growing family, you're going to need it, eh? 106 00:04:18,643 --> 00:04:20,883 - Hey, who says I'll stop at four? Life is an adventure. 107 00:04:20,883 --> 00:04:23,443 Married, still young - if I have more kids, then so be it. 108 00:04:23,443 --> 00:04:25,843 - I'll race you to five. - Oh, yeah? - Five kids? Really? 109 00:04:25,843 --> 00:04:27,123 Who are you marrying next(?) 110 00:04:27,123 --> 00:04:29,163 - Dad said that he's going to get me a camper van 111 00:04:29,163 --> 00:04:31,323 when I've passed my driving test. How cool is that? 112 00:04:31,323 --> 00:04:33,403 - Ooh, yeah, very cool. 113 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:34,883 Very cool. 114 00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:36,963 Maybe a bit big for your first car, do you think? 115 00:04:36,963 --> 00:04:39,363 - Not a camper van per se, but I'd rather have her driving 116 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,523 something than hanging around bus stops at night. 117 00:04:41,523 --> 00:04:43,283 - She'll have something to drive, Stuart. 118 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,363 You don't need to worry about that. - Oh, right. 119 00:04:45,363 --> 00:04:47,083 - Are you going to get me a car, really? 120 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:49,203 - No... No promises. - Well, we'll... You know.. 121 00:04:49,203 --> 00:04:51,163 No, we'll talk about it. - We'll try but... 122 00:04:51,163 --> 00:04:53,643 - Sorry, Rebecca hadn't mentioned anything about that. 123 00:04:53,643 --> 00:04:55,403 I don't want to tread on anyone's toes. 124 00:04:55,403 --> 00:04:57,843 - No, you're not treading on anyone's toes. 125 00:04:57,843 --> 00:05:01,163 Right, that's me off. OK, nice to see you again, Stuart. - Yeah. 126 00:05:01,163 --> 00:05:02,723 - Becca, back to reality I think. 127 00:05:02,723 --> 00:05:05,043 You know you've got a tonne of homework to do, I think. 128 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,083 OK. 129 00:05:05,043 --> 00:05:07,083 BABY SQUEALS 130 00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:11,803 - Two of my three favourite girls in the world. Yeah, you. You. 131 00:05:11,803 --> 00:05:14,443 This one! 132 00:05:11,803 --> 00:05:14,443 - LAUGHTER 133 00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:20,003 - No, I'm glad you had a nice time. 134 00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:21,803 - I always do with Dad. 135 00:05:21,803 --> 00:05:24,283 - Well, you hardly see him - the novelty helps. 136 00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:27,283 Trust me, the less you see of Stuart, the more you love him. 137 00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,723 - Mum! 138 00:05:28,723 --> 00:05:32,123 - I'm sorry. No, I'm glad you had a nice time with your dad. 139 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,443 He can't be all bad. I mean, look how lovely you are. 140 00:05:35,443 --> 00:05:38,363 Although, I think that might be nurture more than nature. 141 00:05:38,363 --> 00:05:40,963 - You're doing it again! 142 00:05:40,963 --> 00:05:43,203 - It might not seem like it, but you being happy - 143 00:05:43,203 --> 00:05:45,683 it's the most important thing in the world. 144 00:05:48,963 --> 00:05:51,443 - Apart from Joe coming home in a police car. 145 00:06:00,763 --> 00:06:02,563 - Maya's not Polish? 146 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,603 I'm sorry, of course she's Polish. 147 00:06:04,603 --> 00:06:05,763 - It turns out not. 148 00:06:05,763 --> 00:06:08,203 She came from the Ukraine on a short-term study visa 149 00:06:08,203 --> 00:06:10,843 and she's overstayed it by seven months. - No, no, no, that's... 150 00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:13,323 This isn't right. She's Polish. She's...she's legal. 151 00:06:13,323 --> 00:06:16,683 She's like part of our family. She helps out with Joe. 152 00:06:16,683 --> 00:06:18,683 - Is that in a paid capacity? 153 00:06:18,683 --> 00:06:21,283 - No, it's... No... 154 00:06:21,283 --> 00:06:23,403 It's... No, it's not in a paid capacity. 155 00:06:23,403 --> 00:06:25,643 She's the girlfriend of the lad at my dad's brewery. 156 00:06:25,643 --> 00:06:28,203 She's interested in teaching so she helps out now and... 157 00:06:28,203 --> 00:06:30,883 Where is she now? I need to get Joe to school. 158 00:06:30,883 --> 00:06:33,523 - She's been taken to the police station to be interviewed. 159 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:36,803 - She is being held in a police station? Here? 160 00:06:36,803 --> 00:06:39,963 This can't be happening. - They'll assess if she's at risk of fleeing 161 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:42,763 and, if not, they'll start the process of her being removed 162 00:06:42,763 --> 00:06:45,443 or, more likely, going home voluntarily. 163 00:06:45,443 --> 00:06:46,883 - No, she's not going anywhere. 164 00:06:46,883 --> 00:06:48,683 - I don't think that's for you to say, madam. 165 00:06:48,683 --> 00:06:50,723 - Who's your senior officer? - Inspector Herd. 166 00:06:50,723 --> 00:06:53,243 - OK, Bob Herd. 167 00:06:53,243 --> 00:06:54,363 Great. OK. 168 00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:55,843 - Inspector Herd. 169 00:06:55,843 --> 00:06:58,483 - We'll just go and see Bob. He'll sort this out. 170 00:06:58,483 --> 00:07:00,043 - It doesn't work like that, madam. 171 00:07:00,043 --> 00:07:01,123 - It does work like that. 172 00:07:01,123 --> 00:07:04,203 Believe me, for me, it very much works like that. 173 00:07:04,203 --> 00:07:05,683 Come on, Joe. 174 00:07:07,003 --> 00:07:10,363 - Everything OK? - Oh, yeah, fine. PC Plum turned up in person. 175 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,363 Listen, would you be able to take Joe to school? - Oh, I'm already late. 176 00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:15,523 - Well, even better - look, now you've got an excuse. 177 00:07:15,523 --> 00:07:18,363 Joe, will you go with Nicola, love? Joe, go with Nicola. OK? 178 00:07:18,363 --> 00:07:20,323 - Erm, OK. 179 00:07:20,323 --> 00:07:22,963 Erm... Did you manage to talk to Paul? 180 00:07:22,963 --> 00:07:25,403 - I've got one or two other things on my mind right now. 181 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,883 See you later. 182 00:07:28,163 --> 00:07:31,403 - ENGINE STARTS 183 00:07:31,403 --> 00:07:35,043 - Yeah, I know. Here she is. 184 00:07:35,043 --> 00:07:37,323 - What? Slumming it today, then? 185 00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:39,763 - His car knocked out. - You mean it broke down? 186 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:41,683 - It's going to cost bare money to repair 187 00:07:41,683 --> 00:07:44,323 and he ain't got it right now. 188 00:07:44,323 --> 00:07:47,123 - OK, why are you talking in that weird way? 189 00:07:47,123 --> 00:07:50,483 - People change. Get over it. 190 00:07:50,483 --> 00:07:52,403 - What's wrong with it? 191 00:07:52,403 --> 00:07:54,923 The car, not the accent. 192 00:07:54,923 --> 00:07:57,203 - Probably all that wanking you were both doing in it 193 00:07:57,203 --> 00:07:58,363 wrecked the suspension. 194 00:07:58,363 --> 00:08:00,683 - Oh, he'd know about that. Mmm. 195 00:08:00,683 --> 00:08:03,963 - I'm not sure that repartee is your strong suit, Dan. 196 00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:06,203 - Rebecca would know about it, too, from what I hear. 197 00:08:06,203 --> 00:08:07,523 - What? 198 00:08:07,523 --> 00:08:10,003 - Calm down, Becky. 199 00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:13,483 I mean, from what Luke tells me, I couldn't keep up with you, anyway. 200 00:08:13,483 --> 00:08:16,483 - Who else have you told? 201 00:08:16,483 --> 00:08:18,123 - Is that your mum? 202 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,363 - "Your mum"? Now you really are scraping the barrel. 203 00:08:20,363 --> 00:08:22,843 - No, your mum, there. 204 00:08:34,123 --> 00:08:36,323 - Dad, can you give me a call when you get this, please? 205 00:08:36,323 --> 00:08:37,603 I'm at the police station. 206 00:08:37,603 --> 00:08:39,963 Maya's been detained. Some immigration nonsense. 207 00:08:39,963 --> 00:08:43,763 Or, better still, can you ring your mate Bob Herd? Inspector Herd. 208 00:08:43,763 --> 00:08:45,083 Thanks. 209 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,723 - Inspector Herd's in meetings all day. 210 00:08:46,723 --> 00:08:48,603 - Yeah, thank you. I'll wait. 211 00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:55,363 - KIDS: - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight... 212 00:08:59,603 --> 00:09:02,563 - I think you're going to school now. 213 00:09:02,563 --> 00:09:04,483 Bye. 214 00:09:04,483 --> 00:09:06,403 - "I am packing you an extra pair of shoes - 215 00:09:06,403 --> 00:09:08,843 "and your angry eyes, just in case." 216 00:09:08,843 --> 00:09:11,323 - Mrs Potato Head, Toy Story 2. 217 00:09:21,683 --> 00:09:23,803 - DOOR SLAMS 218 00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,643 - I can't really help right now, Alison. 219 00:09:58,643 --> 00:10:00,523 I'm 14 blood samples behind. 220 00:10:00,523 --> 00:10:03,283 - Yeah, I just thought that you could get a GP's letter supporting 221 00:10:03,283 --> 00:10:07,803 her right to remain on medical grounds. - Erm, well... 222 00:10:07,803 --> 00:10:09,683 I'll try, but it's a long shot. 223 00:10:09,683 --> 00:10:12,403 - Can't you just write it and get your prick of a boss to sign it? 224 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,643 - Her prick of a boss can actually read! 225 00:10:16,243 --> 00:10:17,883 - Oh, God. 226 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:19,723 - Sorry about that. 227 00:10:19,723 --> 00:10:21,643 She wasn't being gratuitously offensive - 228 00:10:21,643 --> 00:10:23,563 she really does just think you're a prick. 229 00:10:23,563 --> 00:10:25,763 - Fair enough. What about you? 230 00:10:25,763 --> 00:10:27,963 - I don't really have a strong opinion either way. 231 00:10:27,963 --> 00:10:30,323 - I'll count that as a result. You're late. 232 00:10:30,323 --> 00:10:31,563 - Georgie! 233 00:10:31,563 --> 00:10:34,523 - There's a GP trainee post just turned up in a mate's practice. 234 00:10:34,523 --> 00:10:36,043 You should give them a call. 235 00:10:36,043 --> 00:10:38,443 - Georgie? 236 00:10:38,443 --> 00:10:39,523 - Are you sacking me? 237 00:10:39,523 --> 00:10:41,283 - I will, if that's what it takes to stop you 238 00:10:41,283 --> 00:10:42,803 wasting your talent in this place. 239 00:10:42,803 --> 00:10:44,283 - You know that isn't how it works. 240 00:10:44,283 --> 00:10:46,443 I need to apply for an Inter-Deanery Transfer. 241 00:10:46,443 --> 00:10:48,043 - Blah-blah-blah, official, yawn. 242 00:10:48,043 --> 00:10:51,883 Let's just say I have connections, if you want it. 243 00:10:51,883 --> 00:10:53,323 - It's in Stockport. 244 00:10:53,323 --> 00:10:55,283 - It is, indeed, and, as you are now used to rain, 245 00:10:55,283 --> 00:10:57,203 it shouldn't be too much of a culture shock. 246 00:10:57,203 --> 00:10:59,363 - This isn't about the phone call just now? 247 00:10:59,363 --> 00:11:02,243 - No. Call him, you'll get on. 248 00:11:02,243 --> 00:11:04,123 he's less of a prick than me, 249 00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:06,163 and Stockport has a hat museum. 250 00:11:08,283 --> 00:11:09,723 - Thanks for seeing me, Bob. 251 00:11:09,723 --> 00:11:11,843 - I'm not sure I had much choice, did I? 252 00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:16,843 She's being released. - Oh, great. Thank you. 253 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,363 Thank you so much. 254 00:11:18,363 --> 00:11:22,963 - She's coming to see us tomorrow to be issued with an IS-96 255 00:11:22,963 --> 00:11:26,283 and then she's agreed to go home to Ukraine. 256 00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:30,563 - She agreed...? She can't have agreed. That's... 257 00:11:30,563 --> 00:11:32,203 Can't she appeal? 258 00:11:32,203 --> 00:11:33,403 - If she appeals, 259 00:11:33,403 --> 00:11:37,443 we are obliged to investigate how she's been supporting herself. 260 00:11:37,443 --> 00:11:39,363 - Why are you saying it like that? 261 00:11:39,363 --> 00:11:41,683 - DRAWER SLAMS SHUT 262 00:11:41,683 --> 00:11:43,603 How's Maurice? 263 00:11:44,883 --> 00:11:49,683 - Erm... He's...he's well, yeah. He's... 264 00:11:49,683 --> 00:11:53,563 he's up a hill somewhere, raising sheep, or else he'd be here, too. 265 00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:56,443 - You do know there's nothing I can do, don't you? 266 00:11:56,443 --> 00:12:00,643 - Look, I don't know what my dad's told you about Joe, his grandson. 267 00:12:00,643 --> 00:12:02,363 - Nothing much, to tell the truth. 268 00:12:02,363 --> 00:12:04,923 Erm, there's a problem with his hearing, I think he said. 269 00:12:04,923 --> 00:12:10,323 - That's right, yeah. It's a problem with his hearing, and Maya... 270 00:12:10,323 --> 00:12:13,043 she's brilliant with him. She's got childcare qualifications 271 00:12:13,043 --> 00:12:14,803 from her own country. - Poland or Ukraine? 272 00:12:14,803 --> 00:12:17,963 - Does it matter? She's talented and she's unlocked something in Joe, 273 00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:21,683 and he's your mate's grandson, so... 274 00:12:21,683 --> 00:12:23,883 - So? 275 00:12:23,883 --> 00:12:27,083 - So you must be able to turn a blind eye, Bob. 276 00:12:27,083 --> 00:12:31,323 - You can't seriously be asking me to break the law in a police station? 277 00:12:31,323 --> 00:12:33,683 - I'm seriously asking you to forget your job for a minute 278 00:12:33,683 --> 00:12:35,323 and remember who you are. 279 00:12:35,323 --> 00:12:36,963 You're my dad's oldest mate. 280 00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:39,923 I'm seriously asking you to show some compassion, Bob. 281 00:12:39,923 --> 00:12:43,003 - I show compassion every day of my working life. 282 00:12:43,003 --> 00:12:45,523 - Maurice has always done all right by you, hasn't he? 283 00:12:45,523 --> 00:12:47,843 The police Christmas party, the brewery, every year, 284 00:12:47,843 --> 00:12:49,483 all that free beer... 285 00:12:49,483 --> 00:12:52,523 - Are you suggesting that all that free beer over the years was 286 00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:54,963 him buying goodwill in case he needed it later on? 287 00:12:54,963 --> 00:12:58,443 - Are you telling me that you've never done a favour for a mate? 288 00:12:58,443 --> 00:13:01,283 - I am already turning a blind eye to the fact that she was 289 00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:04,643 illegally working at the brewery and illegally working for you. 290 00:13:04,643 --> 00:13:07,523 If I flagged that up, she could be asked to pay back her wages 291 00:13:07,523 --> 00:13:10,563 and you and the brewery could be fined £10,000 apiece. 292 00:13:10,563 --> 00:13:12,723 Now, if I were you, I'd leave, 293 00:13:12,723 --> 00:13:15,363 while you still have an ounce of goodwill left 294 00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:16,963 in the bank of Bob Herd. 295 00:13:18,243 --> 00:13:20,923 - The year my dad's had since my mum died... 296 00:13:20,923 --> 00:13:24,363 He's just finished grieving and you'd do this to his grandson? 297 00:13:24,363 --> 00:13:26,043 You're some fucking mate. 298 00:13:34,883 --> 00:13:38,243 It's not over, Maya. Believe me. 299 00:13:38,243 --> 00:13:42,323 - I think it is over. I'm sorry. I should have told you. 300 00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:44,003 - No, no, we'll appeal. 301 00:13:44,003 --> 00:13:47,043 - If I appeal and lose, I won't be allowed back for ten years. 302 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,523 - Hey, what about David? 303 00:13:48,523 --> 00:13:49,883 - What about him? 304 00:13:49,883 --> 00:13:52,043 - Well, you already live together, don't you? 305 00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:54,003 Why don't you get married? 306 00:13:54,003 --> 00:13:55,283 - Are you making a joke? 307 00:13:55,283 --> 00:13:56,923 - No, he's an EU citizen. 308 00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,283 You obviously love each other. Why don't you marry him? 309 00:14:01,003 --> 00:14:02,643 - Maybe one day... 310 00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:05,563 but in the future. 311 00:14:05,563 --> 00:14:10,403 - Look, maybe that one day in the future is right now. 312 00:14:10,403 --> 00:14:12,363 Eh? 313 00:14:12,363 --> 00:14:13,643 Come on. 314 00:14:13,643 --> 00:14:14,963 - You're insane. 315 00:14:14,963 --> 00:14:18,523 She isn't going to get married just cos you ask her to. 316 00:14:18,523 --> 00:14:20,483 - I wouldn't be so sure about that. 317 00:14:20,483 --> 00:14:24,443 - THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE 318 00:14:55,163 --> 00:14:56,803 She's already broken the law 319 00:14:56,803 --> 00:14:58,883 and you want her to enter into a sham marriage? 320 00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:01,523 - Not a sham marriage - a premature marriage. 321 00:15:01,523 --> 00:15:03,603 - I got your messages. Is Joe all right? 322 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,563 - Yeah, yeah, he's at school. He's fine. 323 00:15:05,563 --> 00:15:07,923 It's Maya - she's being deported. 324 00:15:07,923 --> 00:15:10,683 - Oh, shit. No. Why? - Yeah. 325 00:15:10,683 --> 00:15:13,283 - I have just got off the phone to Bob Herd. - Oh, and? 326 00:15:13,283 --> 00:15:15,883 - And you're lucky he's a lovely fella who knows you're upset 327 00:15:15,883 --> 00:15:17,323 and are not making any sense. 328 00:15:17,323 --> 00:15:19,163 - Well, did you ask if he can do anything? 329 00:15:19,163 --> 00:15:20,443 - I did, as a matter of fact. 330 00:15:20,443 --> 00:15:22,723 I asked if he wouldn't charge you for trying to bribe 331 00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:25,083 a police officer, and that he'd accept your apology. 332 00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:26,723 - When did you see Bob Herd? 333 00:15:26,723 --> 00:15:28,803 - I'm not apologising. - You are. You've got to. 334 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:31,563 He's my best mate here, and you've just marched into that office 335 00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:33,203 and shat all over that friendship. 336 00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:36,163 It's about the worst thing you could have done. - Not for Joe, it wasn't. 337 00:15:36,163 --> 00:15:38,883 - Oh, for God's sake, there are more things in this world than Joe. 338 00:15:38,883 --> 00:15:40,723 - Not to me, there aren't! - There are, Alison. 339 00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:42,643 I know you don't want to hear it but there are. 340 00:15:42,643 --> 00:15:44,923 - I'd love to stand here and argue with you all day, Dad, 341 00:15:44,923 --> 00:15:47,123 but I've got to get help from people that give a shit. 342 00:15:47,123 --> 00:15:49,123 - Of course I give a shit. He's my grandson. 343 00:15:49,123 --> 00:15:51,963 I'm just saying, you can't expect everybody to do your bidding 344 00:15:51,963 --> 00:15:54,483 whenever you say the word "Joe". 345 00:15:54,483 --> 00:15:56,323 Oy! 346 00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:57,803 Alison! 347 00:15:57,803 --> 00:15:59,283 Alison. 348 00:16:03,803 --> 00:16:05,243 - Nice, Maurice. 349 00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:08,323 - Oh, are you defending her? She tried to blackmail a police officer. 350 00:16:08,323 --> 00:16:10,643 - Well, I think blackmail's a bit strong, isn't it? 351 00:16:10,643 --> 00:16:12,483 This is Bob Herd, we're talking about. 352 00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:15,123 He'd turn a blind eye to murder if there was a pint in it for him. 353 00:16:15,123 --> 00:16:16,163 - She's out of control. 354 00:16:16,163 --> 00:16:18,803 She tries to fix everything by willing it to happen 355 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,203 or shouting about it! 356 00:16:20,203 --> 00:16:22,483 - Oh, I wonder where she gets that from(!) 357 00:16:27,283 --> 00:16:28,563 - This is all your fault. 358 00:16:28,563 --> 00:16:31,003 What were you thinking of, hiring a bloody Ukrainian? 359 00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:34,363 - Everyone thought she was Polish. CAR ENGINE STARTS 360 00:16:34,363 --> 00:16:37,523 - I see you're having this new conditioning vessel installed. 361 00:16:37,523 --> 00:16:40,283 - Yeah, I took an informed decision and went against your advice. 362 00:16:40,283 --> 00:16:42,803 - Well, I know that, that's why I had a word with the supplier, 363 00:16:42,803 --> 00:16:44,763 and made sure you weren't being made a mug of. 364 00:16:44,763 --> 00:16:46,843 - What? You did what? 365 00:16:49,363 --> 00:16:50,843 You can't do it, can you? 366 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,843 You just can't let it go! 367 00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:59,163 - Do you know what? I'm not sure that this is working out. 368 00:17:00,643 --> 00:17:03,683 - Right. - I don't know. You know, round peg, square hole. 369 00:17:03,683 --> 00:17:06,483 You might want to think about looking for something else. 370 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:08,043 - Yeah. 371 00:17:08,043 --> 00:17:09,283 I agree. 372 00:17:09,283 --> 00:17:10,363 - What? 373 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,363 - You may not have noticed, but I actually like it here 374 00:17:13,363 --> 00:17:16,643 and, to my surprise and yours, I'm actually good at it. 375 00:17:16,643 --> 00:17:19,483 Not just the rebranding, the internet stuff, the marketing, 376 00:17:19,483 --> 00:17:21,443 but the actual brewing - 377 00:17:21,443 --> 00:17:24,203 the science, the precision, the magic. 378 00:17:24,203 --> 00:17:26,603 - You don't need to tell me about that. I've lived it. 379 00:17:26,603 --> 00:17:29,243 - I know, and that's the problem. 380 00:17:29,243 --> 00:17:32,323 Dad, what's clear is that one of us has to walk away from this, 381 00:17:32,323 --> 00:17:35,323 and it's never going to be you. 382 00:17:35,323 --> 00:17:37,363 A couple of people I know from uni approached me 383 00:17:37,363 --> 00:17:38,443 when I first moved back. 384 00:17:38,443 --> 00:17:41,363 You know, people who actually think I might have something to offer. 385 00:17:41,363 --> 00:17:44,163 Crazy as it sounds, people who might believe in me. 386 00:17:45,323 --> 00:17:47,723 - I see. I see. 387 00:17:47,723 --> 00:17:50,843 I gave up my job to give you something to do. 388 00:17:50,843 --> 00:17:54,323 You brew three ales and that's it. Brewing's done. Time to move on. 389 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,643 - It isn't working out. You just said so yourself. 390 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,683 - I said that because I'm pissed off with you. 391 00:17:58,683 --> 00:18:02,643 - No, you said that cos you were pissed off with Alison. 392 00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:05,843 - There is such a thing as being too clever, you know? 393 00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:08,483 - I'm sure there is, but I don't think it's something either of us 394 00:18:08,483 --> 00:18:10,403 have to worry about any time soon. 395 00:18:18,323 --> 00:18:19,643 - See you tomorrow. 396 00:18:22,963 --> 00:18:25,083 Can I... Can I have a word, Paul? 397 00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:26,123 - Yeah. Yeah. 398 00:18:26,123 --> 00:18:29,763 - Just so you know, Joe - he seemed a bit off today. 399 00:18:29,763 --> 00:18:31,483 I couldn't get him to join in at all, 400 00:18:31,483 --> 00:18:33,763 not even with the activities he likes. 401 00:18:33,763 --> 00:18:36,163 - Maybe he's feeling a bit under the weather. 402 00:18:36,163 --> 00:18:37,803 - Yeah, it'll be nothing. 403 00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:40,563 I just thought you'd like to know. - OK. Thank you. 404 00:18:42,883 --> 00:18:44,763 Hiya, Mozart. 405 00:18:44,763 --> 00:18:46,403 Hey? Come on. 406 00:18:49,203 --> 00:18:51,163 Perfect. Come on. 407 00:18:54,643 --> 00:18:56,363 Ah, there he is. 408 00:18:56,363 --> 00:19:00,963 Eddie, a bit of bad news on the beer front, I'm afraid. 409 00:19:00,963 --> 00:19:03,323 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, the builders have just told me that 410 00:19:03,323 --> 00:19:05,403 the plumbing behind the bar is not going to be 411 00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:08,403 ready in time for the draught ales, so it's going to have to be bottled. 412 00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:09,563 - Fair enough. 413 00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:13,963 - Look, I'm sorry, mate. I know how much you put into that special. 414 00:19:13,963 --> 00:19:16,203 - It's only beer. 415 00:19:16,203 --> 00:19:18,163 - Right, good, good. 416 00:19:18,163 --> 00:19:20,363 - How's Joe, since his trauma this morning? 417 00:19:20,363 --> 00:19:22,283 - Trauma? 418 00:19:22,283 --> 00:19:24,323 Yeah, he's absolutely fine. 419 00:19:26,523 --> 00:19:27,883 Joe? 420 00:19:32,323 --> 00:19:35,963 Me and your uncle Eddie, we once had a ride in the back of a police car, 421 00:19:35,963 --> 00:19:38,083 when we were young lads, didn't we, Ed? 422 00:19:38,083 --> 00:19:39,803 - A bit older, maybe. 423 00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:41,843 - All done, now, though, eh? 424 00:19:41,843 --> 00:19:45,243 That's the main thing, isn't it? 425 00:19:45,243 --> 00:19:46,563 Come on, then. 426 00:19:48,243 --> 00:19:50,523 I think he's forgotten it even happened. 427 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,523 No point making a big deal about it, get him upset... 428 00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:56,403 "Least said, soonest mended," and all that. - Yeah, sure. 429 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:58,443 - Come on, then, Joe. - After the morning I've had, 430 00:19:58,443 --> 00:20:00,083 I think it should be the family motto. 431 00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:05,323 - Maya won't be coming to play with you for a little while. 432 00:20:05,323 --> 00:20:08,883 She's got to go home. and be with her mum for a bit. 433 00:20:08,883 --> 00:20:10,083 - Yes. 434 00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:14,083 - And that might make you sad but Maya will come back. 435 00:20:14,083 --> 00:20:15,203 - Yes. 436 00:20:15,203 --> 00:20:16,923 - Do you understand, Joe? 437 00:20:16,923 --> 00:20:18,963 - Let me see, now... 438 00:20:20,243 --> 00:20:22,483 Yes. 439 00:20:22,483 --> 00:20:26,483 - And Maya's going to come round and say goodbye to you before she goes. 440 00:20:26,483 --> 00:20:28,563 - Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! 441 00:20:28,563 --> 00:20:30,083 - Joe, can you try and look at me? 442 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,963 - Does he need to look at you, love? He gets it. 443 00:20:31,963 --> 00:20:35,563 - Love, do you get it? Maya is not going to be here with you any more. 444 00:20:35,563 --> 00:20:37,523 - Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! 445 00:20:37,523 --> 00:20:40,163 - I think he gets it. There you go. 446 00:20:42,683 --> 00:20:44,723 - MUSIC PLAYS IN HEADPHONES 447 00:20:53,603 --> 00:20:55,123 - I know you like to bury everything, 448 00:20:55,123 --> 00:20:57,083 but Joe needs to understand what's going on. 449 00:20:57,083 --> 00:21:00,643 - What if he understands perfectly and he's OK with it? 450 00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:02,883 - He can't be OK with it. He has a bond with Maya. 451 00:21:02,883 --> 00:21:04,923 I don't want him to panic when she's not around. 452 00:21:04,923 --> 00:21:06,763 - It sounds like it's you that's panicking. 453 00:21:06,763 --> 00:21:08,803 - I spend my whole life panicking. 454 00:21:08,803 --> 00:21:10,363 Are we doing the right thing? 455 00:21:10,363 --> 00:21:11,883 Can we ever do the right thing? 456 00:21:11,883 --> 00:21:15,043 Then there's Rebecca, us, the diner, the restaurant, 457 00:21:15,043 --> 00:21:17,603 the baby you want so badly... 458 00:21:17,603 --> 00:21:18,883 - The baby WE want so badly. 459 00:21:18,883 --> 00:21:22,523 - I don't panic when Joe is with Maya, so, yes, I am. 460 00:21:22,523 --> 00:21:24,083 I'm terrified that Maya's leaving. 461 00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,003 - The baby WE want so badly. 462 00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:28,323 - That's what I said! 463 00:21:28,323 --> 00:21:30,403 - SHE SIGHS 464 00:21:35,483 --> 00:21:38,003 But there's only one good way of dealing with boys' gossip. 465 00:21:38,003 --> 00:21:39,563 - Ignore it, I know. 466 00:21:39,563 --> 00:21:42,283 - Ignore it? No. 467 00:21:42,283 --> 00:21:43,803 Avenge it. 468 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,003 - Really? 469 00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:47,243 - Get Luke on his own and intimidate him. 470 00:21:48,523 --> 00:21:51,923 - How am I going to do that, though? He chucked me. 471 00:21:51,923 --> 00:21:54,763 - Use something personal and hurtful 472 00:21:54,763 --> 00:21:57,043 and make it count. 473 00:21:57,043 --> 00:21:58,843 - What if I... 474 00:21:58,843 --> 00:22:01,363 I don't know, make it worse? 475 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,723 - SHE SIGHS 476 00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:03,723 He's a teenage boy. 477 00:22:03,723 --> 00:22:05,883 You know, he's 20 times more insecure than you, 478 00:22:05,883 --> 00:22:08,243 despite the monkey walk and big shoulders. 479 00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:09,803 I'm sure you'll think of something. 480 00:22:09,803 --> 00:22:12,323 - Well, monkey walk and big shoulders isn't a bad start. 481 00:22:12,323 --> 00:22:14,843 - You make sure you scare that little shit of an ex-boyfriend 482 00:22:14,843 --> 00:22:18,883 from turning you into masturbation fodder for his virgin mates. 483 00:22:18,883 --> 00:22:20,523 Don't let me down. 484 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:25,923 SWING SQUEAKS 485 00:22:32,003 --> 00:22:35,203 MUSIC: Don't You Want Me by The Human League 486 00:22:35,203 --> 00:22:36,323 Louise. 487 00:22:36,323 --> 00:22:37,363 - Maurice. 488 00:22:41,043 --> 00:22:42,683 Are you here for open mike night? 489 00:22:42,683 --> 00:22:44,563 - No, no. 490 00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:47,483 - Well, for what it's worth, I think you're ready. 491 00:22:48,683 --> 00:22:50,403 - I'm just having a drink with a pal. 492 00:22:52,923 --> 00:22:54,523 Well... 493 00:22:58,363 --> 00:23:01,563 - When you said your Alison wanted to apologise, 494 00:23:01,563 --> 00:23:04,723 I thought you meant that Alison would actually be here in person, 495 00:23:04,723 --> 00:23:06,043 apologising. 496 00:23:06,043 --> 00:23:08,723 - Don't be a stickler, Bob. Just enjoy your pint. 497 00:23:09,963 --> 00:23:11,443 - Fair enough. 498 00:23:13,443 --> 00:23:15,603 - I'm sorry about Alison. I really am. 499 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,163 She's a bit of an hothead. 500 00:23:17,163 --> 00:23:19,923 - Yeah, well, she was desperate. I could see that. 501 00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:26,083 Have you got something going with that milf music teacher 502 00:23:26,083 --> 00:23:27,483 with the backward lad? 503 00:23:27,483 --> 00:23:31,723 She keeps looking over. - Yeah, well, there's a reason for that. 504 00:23:31,723 --> 00:23:33,843 - Oh, yeah? Dark horse! 505 00:23:40,643 --> 00:23:41,963 - I can't stay long. 506 00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:45,163 - What have you been saying to your mates about me and you? - Nothing. 507 00:23:45,163 --> 00:23:48,123 - Well, from what Dan said to me this morning, I don't think that's true. 508 00:23:48,123 --> 00:23:50,403 - You didn't tell me it was supposed to be a secret. 509 00:23:50,403 --> 00:23:51,803 - It's not a secret, it's private, 510 00:23:51,803 --> 00:23:54,243 and, despite your new off-the-peg stupid act, 511 00:23:54,243 --> 00:23:56,563 I thought you'd have known the difference. 512 00:23:56,563 --> 00:23:58,483 - It's not really that big a deal, is it? 513 00:23:58,483 --> 00:24:01,203 - I won't be masturbation fodder for your virgin mates. 514 00:24:01,203 --> 00:24:03,043 - It's a bit late for that now. 515 00:24:05,163 --> 00:24:08,083 - I just thought you should note that my auntie's a doctor 516 00:24:08,083 --> 00:24:10,683 at Dr Graves' surgery. - So? 517 00:24:10,683 --> 00:24:14,003 - So she has access to everyone's medical records, including yours, 518 00:24:14,003 --> 00:24:15,603 so if there's anything in there 519 00:24:15,603 --> 00:24:17,763 that you don't want the whole town to know about, 520 00:24:17,763 --> 00:24:22,043 I'd be a bit more careful about what you say about me. 521 00:24:22,043 --> 00:24:24,003 - I feel like I don't know you any more. 522 00:24:24,003 --> 00:24:26,443 - Well, that's good, cos I'd rather you didn't. 523 00:24:26,443 --> 00:24:28,483 HE SIGHS 524 00:24:31,123 --> 00:24:33,403 It wasn't a serious thing, you know. 525 00:24:33,403 --> 00:24:35,923 Louise was the first woman I'd had anything to do with 526 00:24:35,923 --> 00:24:37,483 since I lost Sandra. 527 00:24:37,483 --> 00:24:40,043 - Well, don't play it down. It's still a result. 528 00:24:40,043 --> 00:24:44,323 - I think maybe I just wanted to know that life moves on after all. 529 00:24:44,323 --> 00:24:47,043 - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I get that. 530 00:24:47,043 --> 00:24:49,603 - To tell you the truth, being with someone else, 531 00:24:49,603 --> 00:24:51,963 you know, holding someone else like that, 532 00:24:51,963 --> 00:24:54,483 I still felt lonely. 533 00:24:54,483 --> 00:24:56,723 It made me miss Sandra more, not less. 534 00:24:59,483 --> 00:25:01,443 Everything about it felt wrong. 535 00:25:01,443 --> 00:25:04,723 - There's nothing like a bit of wrong to get the juices flowing, eh? 536 00:25:04,723 --> 00:25:07,203 - Bloody hell. I'm opening my heart to you, here, Bob. 537 00:25:07,203 --> 00:25:09,723 - I know. You're scaring me. 538 00:25:09,723 --> 00:25:11,803 Oh, come on, I'm only having a laugh. 539 00:25:13,283 --> 00:25:17,203 So, is it definitely over between you and her, then? 540 00:25:17,203 --> 00:25:19,763 - Yeah. I'd say so. 541 00:25:19,763 --> 00:25:22,243 - So, how would you feel if I asked her out? 542 00:25:24,443 --> 00:25:27,163 - Fine. Yeah. 543 00:25:27,163 --> 00:25:29,003 - Yeah? - Yeah. 544 00:25:29,003 --> 00:25:31,363 - Yeah? - Absolutely. What are we? 545 00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:35,283 A couple of teenagers riding up and down outside her house on our bikes? 546 00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:37,243 - After a decent interval, obviously. 547 00:25:37,243 --> 00:25:39,163 - Obviously. It goes without saying. 548 00:25:42,963 --> 00:25:46,363 - # ..To talk with, all by myself 549 00:25:46,363 --> 00:25:48,203 # No-one to walk with 550 00:25:48,203 --> 00:25:50,643 # But I'm happy on the shelf 551 00:25:50,643 --> 00:25:53,083 # Ain't misbehaving 552 00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:56,363 # Saving my love for you 553 00:25:59,563 --> 00:26:01,683 # I know for certain 554 00:26:01,683 --> 00:26:03,523 # The one I love 555 00:26:03,523 --> 00:26:05,163 # I'm through with flirtin' 556 00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:07,923 # It's just you that I'm thinkin' of 557 00:26:07,923 --> 00:26:10,083 # Ain't misbehavin' - Ain't misbehaving 558 00:26:10,083 --> 00:26:14,483 - # Savin' all my love for you - Savin' my love for you. # 559 00:26:18,123 --> 00:26:20,203 - Joe, look at the photo. Who's that? 560 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:22,203 - Who's that? - Has anyone seen my English book? 561 00:26:22,203 --> 00:26:23,523 - No. - Anyone? 562 00:26:23,523 --> 00:26:27,683 - Joe, it's Maya, isn't it? You know Maya. 563 00:26:27,683 --> 00:26:29,883 She's going to be going away. 564 00:26:29,883 --> 00:26:31,363 Does that make you sad? 565 00:26:32,723 --> 00:26:35,163 - It makes me sad, yes. 566 00:26:35,163 --> 00:26:36,883 - Does it really? 567 00:26:40,523 --> 00:26:43,923 Joe, Joe, do you understand that Maya is going to be going away? 568 00:26:43,923 --> 00:26:45,203 - Has anyone seen my pen? 569 00:26:45,203 --> 00:26:46,803 - Oh, for God's sake! 570 00:26:46,803 --> 00:26:48,243 - For God's sake. 571 00:26:48,243 --> 00:26:50,003 - Hey, Joe, Joe... 572 00:26:50,003 --> 00:26:51,483 - Rebecca. - I know you're upset. 573 00:26:51,483 --> 00:26:53,403 Yeah, you know, this is hard for you. 574 00:26:53,403 --> 00:26:56,323 - # Lost your love of life? Too much apple pie 575 00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:58,843 # Oh, have you lost your love of life? 576 00:26:58,843 --> 00:27:00,563 # Too much apple pie. # 577 00:27:00,563 --> 00:27:02,643 MUSIC FADES IN: Kennedy by The Wedding Present 578 00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:06,603 HE SINGS ALONG: 579 00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:06,603 # And now Ari's walked away 580 00:27:02,643 --> 00:27:06,603 with Johnny's wife 581 00:27:08,443 --> 00:27:11,763 # You've got to pick some people up 582 00:27:11,763 --> 00:27:15,123 # You've got to let some people go 583 00:27:15,123 --> 00:27:18,523 # But if Lee's name does come up 584 00:27:18,523 --> 00:27:21,123 # Oh, well, I really want to know 585 00:27:21,123 --> 00:27:26,723 # Because everybody loves a TV show... # 586 00:27:34,363 --> 00:27:36,403 HE BREATHES HEAVILY 587 00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:50,843 DISCORDANT MUSIC PLAYS 588 00:27:50,843 --> 00:27:53,683 MUSIC GROWS LOUDER 589 00:27:55,923 --> 00:27:58,963 MUSIC GROWS EVEN LOUDER 590 00:28:03,683 --> 00:28:06,843 MUSIC FADES OUT 591 00:28:09,003 --> 00:28:11,163 GIRL: - Yeah! 592 00:28:19,163 --> 00:28:21,843 - HE BREATHES HEAVILY 593 00:28:25,123 --> 00:28:28,523 - You're late. - Did you sleep with Bob Herd? 594 00:28:28,523 --> 00:28:30,163 - No. 595 00:28:30,163 --> 00:28:31,323 Did you? 596 00:28:33,843 --> 00:28:37,403 I have another student booked after you, so we'll have to cut it short. 597 00:28:37,403 --> 00:28:41,563 - # Everybody loves a happy ending 598 00:28:41,563 --> 00:28:45,283 # But we don't even try 599 00:28:45,283 --> 00:28:49,163 # We go straight past pretending 600 00:28:49,163 --> 00:28:54,763 # To the part where everybody loves to cry 601 00:28:56,243 --> 00:28:59,803 # Indoor fireworks... # 602 00:29:05,083 --> 00:29:06,883 - That was fine. Why did you stop? 603 00:29:08,363 --> 00:29:10,003 - Did you sleep with him? 604 00:29:10,003 --> 00:29:11,603 - No, I did not! 605 00:29:11,603 --> 00:29:14,363 - Then why was his car outside the pub this morning? 606 00:29:14,363 --> 00:29:17,123 - Because he drank too much and, being a police inspector, 607 00:29:17,123 --> 00:29:19,723 he's more respectful than most of the drink-driving laws. 608 00:29:19,723 --> 00:29:21,723 - Well, I know that's not true, for a start. 609 00:29:21,723 --> 00:29:23,883 SHE SIGHS 610 00:29:23,883 --> 00:29:27,363 - We drank too much because we couldn't stop talking about you. 611 00:29:30,003 --> 00:29:32,083 - Oh. 612 00:29:32,083 --> 00:29:33,803 Right. 613 00:29:42,563 --> 00:29:45,043 - Dear me, Maurice, is this really still a thing? 614 00:29:45,043 --> 00:29:47,523 Aged 56, and you don't fancy me until your best mate has 615 00:29:47,523 --> 00:29:50,003 a crack at me, and then you decide you fancy me after all. 616 00:29:50,003 --> 00:29:52,323 Good God, does nothing change at all? 617 00:29:52,323 --> 00:29:53,843 - I don't go much on analysis. 618 00:29:53,843 --> 00:29:55,123 - Clearly. 619 00:29:55,123 --> 00:29:58,643 - I'm sorry, I'm just very confused at the moment. 620 00:29:58,643 --> 00:30:01,123 - Maurice, we've been to bed together a couple of times. 621 00:30:01,123 --> 00:30:02,523 We're not in a relationship. 622 00:30:02,523 --> 00:30:04,843 You don't get to tell me you're confused. 623 00:30:04,843 --> 00:30:06,363 - You don't care about my feelings? 624 00:30:06,363 --> 00:30:08,803 - I don't care enough about your feelings to torture myself 625 00:30:08,803 --> 00:30:11,003 trying to second-guess them. 626 00:30:11,003 --> 00:30:14,123 Now, are you going to sing or are you going to leave? 627 00:30:17,603 --> 00:30:23,403 - SHE RESUMES PLAYING Indoor Fireworks by Elvis Costello 628 00:30:26,083 --> 00:30:32,203 # We get to the part where I say that I'm gonna leave... # 629 00:30:33,323 --> 00:30:34,963 - I'll be back in ten minutes. I promise. 630 00:30:34,963 --> 00:30:36,923 - You'd better be. I've got a life too, you know. 631 00:30:36,923 --> 00:30:38,763 I've got hot yoga for beginners at 2.30pm. 632 00:30:38,763 --> 00:30:40,923 - Yeah, I'll be back, I said. 633 00:30:40,923 --> 00:30:44,603 - Did you manage to talk to Paul about not wanting to get pregnant? 634 00:30:48,723 --> 00:30:51,243 When you take Joe for an appointment, 635 00:30:51,243 --> 00:30:54,643 do you notice all the parents for the other children? - Ugh. 636 00:30:54,643 --> 00:30:56,883 Mainly I notice the kids that are a lot worse than Joe 637 00:30:56,883 --> 00:30:59,203 and feel guilty that I'm pleased. 638 00:30:59,203 --> 00:31:02,083 - Take a look at the parents next time, 639 00:31:02,083 --> 00:31:06,403 or just a mum or a dad... 640 00:31:06,403 --> 00:31:08,123 but never a couple. 641 00:31:08,123 --> 00:31:11,123 - Nicola, you're clever, but you're not relationship clever. 642 00:31:11,123 --> 00:31:15,003 Paul and me - we're not the kind of couple that split up. 643 00:31:15,003 --> 00:31:17,363 - Everyone thinks that until they do. 644 00:31:22,163 --> 00:31:24,203 TOOL BUZZES 645 00:31:24,203 --> 00:31:25,523 - Oh, hey-o. 646 00:31:27,003 --> 00:31:28,803 - Oof, a bit early, Dad. 647 00:31:28,803 --> 00:31:29,843 - I need a stiff drink, 648 00:31:29,843 --> 00:31:32,323 in case my daughter starts telling me off again 649 00:31:32,323 --> 00:31:35,603 and, if pub food doesn't taste good with beer, then it's all over. 650 00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:37,683 - Oh, too right. Got to be big on flavour. 651 00:31:37,683 --> 00:31:39,363 I mean, you know, don't get me wrong, 652 00:31:39,363 --> 00:31:42,163 I like a skate wing as much as the next guy, just never on a pub menu. 653 00:31:42,163 --> 00:31:44,443 - You're talking my language, Gary. - Mmm-hmm. 654 00:31:44,443 --> 00:31:46,803 - Stop taking over, Dad. - You won't know I'm here. 655 00:31:46,803 --> 00:31:49,523 - All right, then, herbed, baked fish, could be battered. - Right. 656 00:31:49,523 --> 00:31:50,843 - What do you think? - Yeah. 657 00:31:50,843 --> 00:31:52,683 - Lamb stew, venison sausages... 658 00:31:52,683 --> 00:31:54,323 - And a vegetarian option for them 659 00:31:54,323 --> 00:31:56,283 that want to spoil it for everybody else. 660 00:31:56,283 --> 00:31:57,403 - All locally sourced. 661 00:31:57,403 --> 00:31:59,443 - Mint cake and sheep shit are locally sourced - 662 00:31:59,443 --> 00:32:01,163 doesn't mean they should be on the menu. 663 00:32:01,163 --> 00:32:03,403 - I thought we wouldn't know you were here, Maurice? 664 00:32:03,403 --> 00:32:04,723 - Paul, I was thinking maybe one 665 00:32:04,723 --> 00:32:06,763 change before next week and then... - PHONE RINGS 666 00:32:06,763 --> 00:32:10,083 - ..depending on the day... - Sorry, sorry, it's my son's school. Hello. 667 00:32:12,283 --> 00:32:16,563 Right, OK. Yeah, half an hour? - Oh, very good. - All right, bye. 668 00:32:16,563 --> 00:32:18,043 Sorry. 669 00:32:24,963 --> 00:32:27,563 HE SIGHS 670 00:32:27,563 --> 00:32:31,643 - I remember when a scallop meant a slice of potato in batter. 671 00:32:31,643 --> 00:32:34,483 - I want you to cut Eddie some slack. - On the scallop front? 672 00:32:34,483 --> 00:32:37,083 - I realise that Eddie doesn't correspond to your traditional 673 00:32:37,083 --> 00:32:39,443 notion of masculinity and, therefore, you have issues 674 00:32:39,443 --> 00:32:42,243 around treating him as a grown-up, but it's got to stop, Maurice. 675 00:32:42,243 --> 00:32:45,043 - Whoa. Where has this come from? - You clearly have problems with him 676 00:32:45,043 --> 00:32:47,803 knowing about your burgeoning relationship with Louise and... 677 00:32:47,803 --> 00:32:50,043 - There's no burgeoning going on of any description. 678 00:32:50,043 --> 00:32:51,083 That ship has sailed. 679 00:32:51,083 --> 00:32:54,083 It's over, whatever it was, and, secondly, 680 00:32:54,083 --> 00:32:56,403 I only ever rode Eddie to see that his heart was in it, 681 00:32:56,403 --> 00:32:58,323 and it turns out it isn't. 682 00:32:58,323 --> 00:32:59,683 - What do you mean? 683 00:32:59,683 --> 00:33:00,803 - What? He hasn't told you? 684 00:33:00,803 --> 00:33:03,203 He's told me he's got other plans outside the brewery. 685 00:33:05,203 --> 00:33:08,843 He hasn't told you. Really? Typical. 686 00:33:08,843 --> 00:33:11,643 It seems to me it should be him you're bollocking. 687 00:33:11,643 --> 00:33:13,803 - TOOL BUZZES 688 00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:27,203 - Hey. Hi, Sweetheart. 689 00:33:31,003 --> 00:33:34,123 Shall we go in and see him? - Paul, Alison, come in. 690 00:33:38,763 --> 00:33:40,723 He was very agitated when he came in, 691 00:33:40,723 --> 00:33:43,843 and then he wouldn't come away from doing his little door dance. 692 00:33:43,843 --> 00:33:46,523 He was tipping chairs over and throwing books around. 693 00:33:46,523 --> 00:33:48,723 He was very upset. 694 00:33:48,723 --> 00:33:51,523 - Oh, something must have happened with another kid or something. 695 00:33:51,523 --> 00:33:53,563 That's... Did you see anything? 696 00:33:53,563 --> 00:33:57,043 - Well, nothing that we're aware of. How has he been at home? 697 00:33:58,363 --> 00:34:00,323 - Well, actually, there's a... 698 00:34:00,323 --> 00:34:03,243 There is a young lady that's been helping out and she's... 699 00:34:03,243 --> 00:34:06,803 Unfortunately, she's going to have to leave, so maybe that's... 700 00:34:06,803 --> 00:34:09,243 - Or not. Or not. 701 00:34:09,243 --> 00:34:13,283 He doesn't say how he feels, so, you know, who knows? 702 00:34:13,283 --> 00:34:15,683 But we have been talking about it a lot. 703 00:34:18,683 --> 00:34:21,923 - This change at home, well, maybe it's something we could talk about. 704 00:34:21,923 --> 00:34:24,563 At home time, or story time, maybe... - No, look, sorry, no. 705 00:34:24,563 --> 00:34:26,163 He doesn't need... 706 00:34:32,683 --> 00:34:37,443 I just don't think he needs to dwell on it any longer than necessary. 707 00:34:37,443 --> 00:34:39,843 - Well, what I've been doing with Joe, 708 00:34:39,843 --> 00:34:44,003 when he's been finding things a bit difficult, is using story cards. 709 00:34:44,003 --> 00:34:45,963 He seems to quite like them. 710 00:34:45,963 --> 00:34:50,483 Perhaps it's something you could try at home, if you have the time. 711 00:34:50,483 --> 00:34:52,003 Perhaps. 712 00:34:54,683 --> 00:34:58,243 - Yeah, do you know? They actually sound really helpful. Thank you. 713 00:34:58,243 --> 00:35:00,163 - This does happen in the first term. 714 00:35:00,163 --> 00:35:03,003 It could happen to any child, not just a child... - A child like Joe? 715 00:35:03,003 --> 00:35:05,803 Yeah, I know, we get it. 716 00:35:05,803 --> 00:35:07,843 Thanks. 717 00:35:05,803 --> 00:35:07,843 - BELL RINGS 718 00:35:07,843 --> 00:35:11,323 - Well, so much for him not feeling anything about Maya leaving. 719 00:35:11,323 --> 00:35:13,763 - So much for you putting ideas into his head. 720 00:35:13,763 --> 00:35:15,043 Joe. 721 00:35:16,883 --> 00:35:19,403 Where do you fancy going, then, kidder? 722 00:35:19,403 --> 00:35:22,323 JOE SIGHS 723 00:35:19,403 --> 00:35:22,323 - Anywhere. - Oh, anywhere. 724 00:35:22,323 --> 00:35:26,163 Would that be anywhere with chips and a milkshake? 725 00:35:26,163 --> 00:35:28,243 - What are you doing? 726 00:35:28,243 --> 00:35:30,123 You can't reward him wrecking a classroom. 727 00:35:30,123 --> 00:35:31,443 - I'm not. 728 00:35:31,443 --> 00:35:33,403 I'm treating him because he's upset. 729 00:35:33,403 --> 00:35:36,003 - Oh, do what you like. I'm sick of playing bad cop. 730 00:35:38,603 --> 00:35:41,003 - CAR ENGINE REVS 731 00:36:10,923 --> 00:36:12,763 He was fine with Maya leaving, 732 00:36:12,763 --> 00:36:14,963 but you kept picking away at him until, finally, 733 00:36:14,963 --> 00:36:18,643 he got so wound up that he flipped out at school, so, well done, you. 734 00:36:18,643 --> 00:36:20,163 Next up, a nervous breakdown. 735 00:36:20,163 --> 00:36:23,163 - Yeah, well done, me, cos you know what? 736 00:36:23,163 --> 00:36:24,923 I'm glad it happened. 737 00:36:24,923 --> 00:36:27,683 - Why? To satisfy your need for an emotional outburst? 738 00:36:27,683 --> 00:36:29,963 - His need, not mine. 739 00:36:29,963 --> 00:36:32,563 - I don't think you know the difference, do you? 740 00:36:38,363 --> 00:36:40,723 All right, then, what are we having? 741 00:36:40,723 --> 00:36:42,363 Same again, is it? 742 00:36:47,123 --> 00:36:50,083 - 'Other people might think that this is an unnecessary activity 743 00:36:50,083 --> 00:36:53,883 'for their children, so leave them doing it. 744 00:36:53,883 --> 00:36:56,723 'My point is, having worked with a lot of kids, 745 00:36:56,723 --> 00:36:58,843 'I can see it makes them happy. 746 00:36:58,843 --> 00:37:02,243 'I can't see it costs them a lot. 747 00:37:02,243 --> 00:37:05,963 'And I see a lot... I see loads of...' 748 00:37:07,083 --> 00:37:09,243 - Thanks. 749 00:37:09,243 --> 00:37:11,603 Hey. Hey. 750 00:37:11,603 --> 00:37:14,803 I think you should stay and watch this. 751 00:37:14,803 --> 00:37:18,163 Later on, there's a boy who is three years old, 752 00:37:18,163 --> 00:37:20,483 and his parents were told he was so severely autistic 753 00:37:20,483 --> 00:37:22,483 that he would never talk, 754 00:37:22,483 --> 00:37:25,043 and then he had intensive applied behavioural analysis. 755 00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:27,003 He's now 16, a normal teenager, 756 00:37:27,003 --> 00:37:29,283 and he plays badminton for his national team. 757 00:37:29,283 --> 00:37:31,163 - Wow, badminton, eh? 758 00:37:31,163 --> 00:37:33,883 Oh, well, you can't have everything. 759 00:37:34,883 --> 00:37:36,763 PAUL LAUGHS 760 00:37:39,403 --> 00:37:42,043 - What if he's right, Paul? 761 00:37:42,043 --> 00:37:43,843 Eh? 762 00:37:43,843 --> 00:37:45,563 What if he is right and we're wrong, 763 00:37:45,563 --> 00:37:48,523 and we make jokes about this stuff, and then we turn around and Joe's 16 764 00:37:48,523 --> 00:37:50,923 and he's still flinging chairs around when he's upset, 765 00:37:50,923 --> 00:37:52,523 but nobody thinks he's cute any more. 766 00:37:52,523 --> 00:37:55,363 Nobody thinks they can handle him any more. - How do you know he hasn't 767 00:37:55,363 --> 00:37:58,563 just had enough of you telling him to be upset? 768 00:37:58,563 --> 00:38:02,123 - If he feels something, he has to learn to express it. 769 00:38:02,123 --> 00:38:04,723 If that means turning a few chairs over at school now, 770 00:38:04,723 --> 00:38:06,363 I think that's a small price to pay. 771 00:38:06,363 --> 00:38:08,403 - KNOCK AT DOOR 772 00:38:10,883 --> 00:38:14,123 KNOCK AT DOOR 773 00:38:10,883 --> 00:38:14,123 Well, you'd better get that. 774 00:38:14,123 --> 00:38:16,163 DOORBELL RINGS It might be the Emotion Fairy 775 00:38:16,163 --> 00:38:19,123 with more feelings for you to scatter around. 776 00:38:19,123 --> 00:38:21,163 HE SIGHS 777 00:38:21,163 --> 00:38:23,323 DOORBELL RINGS 778 00:38:23,323 --> 00:38:26,683 - Hi, sorry, it's not a great time, guys. 779 00:38:26,683 --> 00:38:28,163 - Is your daughter home? 780 00:38:30,043 --> 00:38:31,843 Lovely hall, by the way. 781 00:38:33,483 --> 00:38:34,843 Can we come in? 782 00:38:34,843 --> 00:38:37,523 - Yeah, yeah, of course. Just come on through. 783 00:38:41,683 --> 00:38:43,323 - OK, let me get this straight, Rebecca. 784 00:38:43,323 --> 00:38:46,403 You told Luke that you had access to his medical records. 785 00:38:46,403 --> 00:38:49,203 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get anyone into trouble. 786 00:38:49,203 --> 00:38:52,243 - I have to say, I admire your angle of attack. 787 00:38:52,243 --> 00:38:56,283 Unfortunately, your friend told his mother, who rang the surgery. 788 00:38:57,843 --> 00:39:02,083 - Oh, my God. He told his mother? Really? 789 00:39:02,083 --> 00:39:03,163 How lame is that? 790 00:39:03,163 --> 00:39:05,683 - Rebecca, the shocking bit is that you would do something 791 00:39:05,683 --> 00:39:07,883 so stupid, not that he would tell his mum. 792 00:39:07,883 --> 00:39:10,323 - Although, I have to agree, that is pretty lame. 793 00:39:10,323 --> 00:39:13,403 - And you... you talked her round, his mum, yeah? 794 00:39:13,403 --> 00:39:17,523 - You seem to be forgetting how revered I am in this town. 795 00:39:17,523 --> 00:39:19,883 Yes, I talked her round but, unfortunately, 796 00:39:19,883 --> 00:39:22,243 I had to agree to sack Nicola. 797 00:39:25,203 --> 00:39:26,923 - Oh. 798 00:39:29,923 --> 00:39:31,563 - So, it's not just Nicola - 799 00:39:31,563 --> 00:39:33,563 none of this family have a sense of humour. 800 00:39:33,563 --> 00:39:35,523 - None of this family have your sense of humour. 801 00:39:35,523 --> 00:39:37,523 That's not the same thing. 802 00:39:37,523 --> 00:39:38,843 - Of course I didn't sack Nicola 803 00:39:38,843 --> 00:39:40,843 but, if you want to get at your friend again, 804 00:39:40,843 --> 00:39:43,083 then choose another way, OK? 805 00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:47,523 - All right, well, thank you for being so understanding. 806 00:39:47,523 --> 00:39:48,883 - Thank you. Yeah. 807 00:39:52,563 --> 00:39:54,923 - All right. - I'm sorry. 808 00:39:54,923 --> 00:39:56,003 - We know. 809 00:39:56,003 --> 00:39:58,243 - Mind telling us why? 810 00:39:58,243 --> 00:40:01,803 - He hurt my feelings. He said some stuff. 811 00:40:01,803 --> 00:40:04,403 - What stuff, eh? I'll go round and give him a thump. 812 00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:06,723 - Well, you're good of good ideas, today, aren't you(?) 813 00:40:06,723 --> 00:40:09,043 - Sometimes audacious is the only thing that works. 814 00:40:09,043 --> 00:40:10,483 - Now you sound like Stuart. 815 00:40:10,483 --> 00:40:11,523 - So what? 816 00:40:11,523 --> 00:40:13,003 - Yeah, so what? 817 00:40:13,003 --> 00:40:14,363 - Thanks, Mum. 818 00:40:40,283 --> 00:40:41,963 - At least Graves saw the funny side. 819 00:40:41,963 --> 00:40:43,323 - He always sees the funny side. 820 00:40:43,323 --> 00:40:45,283 That's part of what makes him so irritating. 821 00:40:45,283 --> 00:40:47,003 - If you had Maurice on your case all day, 822 00:40:47,003 --> 00:40:49,043 then you'd have something to complain about. 823 00:40:49,043 --> 00:40:51,643 - Is that why you told him you had other plans - Maurice - 824 00:40:51,643 --> 00:40:53,203 because he's on your case all day? 825 00:40:53,203 --> 00:40:54,683 Were you being serious about that 826 00:40:54,683 --> 00:40:57,083 or were you just saying it to get back at him? 827 00:40:57,083 --> 00:41:00,523 - I didn't say anything cos I was just exploring. 828 00:41:00,523 --> 00:41:03,363 There have been a couple of approaches. 829 00:41:03,363 --> 00:41:09,083 Nothing is certain but... a research post in Manchester. 830 00:41:09,083 --> 00:41:10,243 - Manchester? 831 00:41:10,243 --> 00:41:12,803 - Yes, Manchester - 832 00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:16,283 a place with universities, libraries, public transport, 833 00:41:16,283 --> 00:41:18,363 Wi-Fi, phone coverage, 834 00:41:18,363 --> 00:41:21,003 and not a single member of my family, 835 00:41:21,003 --> 00:41:22,763 so what do you say? 836 00:41:22,763 --> 00:41:24,923 Fancy joining the escape committee? 837 00:41:24,923 --> 00:41:26,643 - I don't think so. 838 00:41:26,643 --> 00:41:27,923 - Oh... 839 00:41:27,923 --> 00:41:30,763 - I was approached about a job away from here. 840 00:41:30,763 --> 00:41:35,043 There's a trainee post not far from Manchester, as it turns out. - Really? 841 00:41:35,043 --> 00:41:36,643 This is perfect, isn't it? 842 00:41:36,643 --> 00:41:40,243 - Well, it would be, except I said no. 843 00:41:40,243 --> 00:41:42,003 - I don't believe you. 844 00:41:42,003 --> 00:41:43,643 - I think... 845 00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:46,843 We've just started to get happy here. 846 00:41:46,843 --> 00:41:49,243 - Next you'll be telling me you like my family(!) 847 00:41:49,243 --> 00:41:53,803 - Well, not "like" exactly, but I do kind of see the point of you all. 848 00:41:53,803 --> 00:41:57,003 - Come on. We can be happy somewhere else, can't we? 849 00:41:57,003 --> 00:41:58,723 - I don't know that. 850 00:41:58,723 --> 00:42:00,763 Neither do you. 851 00:42:00,763 --> 00:42:04,923 - Our marriage is so shit, it can only work somewhere we both hate? 852 00:42:04,923 --> 00:42:07,083 - I'm starting to like it here, 853 00:42:07,083 --> 00:42:09,123 and... 854 00:42:09,123 --> 00:42:12,923 I understand you here. 855 00:42:14,043 --> 00:42:18,283 You might not like to think it suits you here, but it does. 856 00:42:18,283 --> 00:42:20,443 I love you here. 857 00:42:20,443 --> 00:42:23,403 - Jesus, I never thought I'd have a love that spans continents, 858 00:42:23,403 --> 00:42:25,723 but I was hoping for more than a two-mile radius. 859 00:42:25,723 --> 00:42:27,963 - DOORBELL RINGS 860 00:42:29,003 --> 00:42:31,403 DOORBELL RINGS AGAIN 861 00:42:33,643 --> 00:42:35,683 - Erm, is Nicola in? 862 00:42:40,403 --> 00:42:42,723 - You didn't have to buy these. 863 00:42:42,723 --> 00:42:45,763 I quite understood why you did what you did. 864 00:42:45,763 --> 00:42:48,963 - I just got you into trouble. I nearly got you the sack. 865 00:42:48,963 --> 00:42:53,203 - Well, you didn't, and I wasn't sacked, 866 00:42:53,203 --> 00:42:55,123 but these are nice. 867 00:42:55,123 --> 00:42:58,603 - It's a bit of a goodbye present, as well. 868 00:42:58,603 --> 00:43:00,203 - What do you mean? 869 00:43:00,203 --> 00:43:01,283 - I've got a reading week, 870 00:43:01,283 --> 00:43:03,363 so I thought I'd go and stay with my dad for a bit. 871 00:43:03,363 --> 00:43:06,323 You know, Stuart, my other dad. 872 00:43:06,323 --> 00:43:09,283 - Why does everyone want to leave all of a sudden? 873 00:43:09,283 --> 00:43:11,643 I could start taking it personally(!) 874 00:43:11,643 --> 00:43:15,323 - Well, I get to see my new sister, and I get a change, 875 00:43:15,323 --> 00:43:18,043 and I can leave Mum and Dad to sort all of this Joe stuff out. 876 00:43:18,043 --> 00:43:20,123 - Oh, well, I don't think that's a good idea. 877 00:43:20,123 --> 00:43:21,643 - Oh. 878 00:43:21,643 --> 00:43:25,323 - I don't think running away is the best way to solve problems. 879 00:43:25,323 --> 00:43:28,483 I used to do it and it didn't end well. 880 00:43:28,483 --> 00:43:32,123 - Well, the only thing keeping me here right now is you and Eddie. 881 00:43:32,123 --> 00:43:35,363 - Well, we're not going anywhere. Don't worry about that. 882 00:43:44,203 --> 00:43:45,803 - Johnny! 883 00:43:45,803 --> 00:43:48,483 - You missed a cracking bit of food at Paul's tasting menu. 884 00:43:48,483 --> 00:43:53,043 - Is that why you wanted to come for a drink - to tell me that? 885 00:43:53,043 --> 00:43:55,163 - No, it isn't. I've... 886 00:43:55,163 --> 00:44:00,283 I wanted to say sorry about going off at you like that... 887 00:44:00,283 --> 00:44:02,443 and saying what I said. 888 00:44:02,443 --> 00:44:03,883 - It's not like you to apologise. 889 00:44:03,883 --> 00:44:05,683 - No, it isn't, so don't milk it. 890 00:44:05,683 --> 00:44:07,803 - Maybe if you sang it, it would mean more(!) 891 00:44:07,803 --> 00:44:09,443 - Eddie, you're my son, and I love you, 892 00:44:09,443 --> 00:44:13,323 but you'd always be in the medals at the Twat Olympics. 893 00:44:13,323 --> 00:44:14,523 - That's more like it. 894 00:44:14,523 --> 00:44:17,203 - Just out of interest, when you were at school and you chose yoga 895 00:44:17,203 --> 00:44:20,323 over football, was that for real or was that just to wind me up? 896 00:44:20,323 --> 00:44:21,483 - It's OK, Dad. 897 00:44:21,483 --> 00:44:23,043 Apology accepted. 898 00:44:25,043 --> 00:44:28,283 And you were right about the brewery. 899 00:44:28,283 --> 00:44:31,283 It hasn't worked. - No, I was wrong to say what I said. 900 00:44:31,283 --> 00:44:35,003 You're doing a good job and, the truth is, 901 00:44:35,003 --> 00:44:37,243 it kills me, to be honest. 902 00:44:37,243 --> 00:44:40,163 - A son, good at something, causes father pain? 903 00:44:40,163 --> 00:44:42,603 Could we just have a minute's silence to think about that? 904 00:44:42,603 --> 00:44:45,123 - I had thought I was the only one who could do it. 905 00:44:45,123 --> 00:44:47,883 You know, I built the place, and I thought I was... 906 00:44:47,883 --> 00:44:50,803 well, not exactly Donald Trump, but Willy Wonka, at least. 907 00:44:50,803 --> 00:44:54,083 - Dad, you loved that brewery and you gave it up too early - 908 00:44:54,083 --> 00:44:55,683 we both know that. 909 00:44:55,683 --> 00:44:58,403 You get the brewery back. How's about that? 910 00:44:58,403 --> 00:45:00,923 - I don't want it back. I want to be your partner. 911 00:45:00,923 --> 00:45:02,203 Proper partners. 912 00:45:02,203 --> 00:45:04,123 We could work together. - Work together? 913 00:45:04,123 --> 00:45:06,403 Are you insane? We can't do a crossword together 914 00:45:06,403 --> 00:45:08,403 without the United Nations on speed dial. 915 00:45:08,403 --> 00:45:11,083 - Just think about it until you decide I'm right. 916 00:45:12,563 --> 00:45:14,963 HE SIGHS 917 00:45:14,963 --> 00:45:16,483 This is good, isn't it? 918 00:45:16,483 --> 00:45:19,043 A father and son having a drink. 919 00:45:20,523 --> 00:45:23,763 When was the last time we did this? 920 00:45:23,763 --> 00:45:26,283 - 1999. 921 00:45:26,283 --> 00:45:28,763 We argued about the Millennium Dome. - Oh, yeah. 922 00:45:28,763 --> 00:45:30,723 I was right about that, and all. 923 00:45:32,683 --> 00:45:35,683 - You retired too early and for all the wrong reasons. 924 00:45:37,323 --> 00:45:39,123 Take the brewery back. 925 00:45:39,123 --> 00:45:42,123 I'm done here, I promise you. 926 00:46:04,203 --> 00:46:05,363 - Bye, Maya. 927 00:46:05,363 --> 00:46:08,803 - Bye, Rebecca. I will always remember your Antigone. 928 00:46:08,803 --> 00:46:10,883 Do your studies well and Facebook me. 929 00:46:10,883 --> 00:46:13,163 - Always. 930 00:46:13,163 --> 00:46:14,683 - Thank you. 931 00:46:14,683 --> 00:46:16,363 Thanks for everything. 932 00:46:17,523 --> 00:46:19,803 - Don't forget us, 933 00:46:19,803 --> 00:46:22,563 and thank you so much for everything you've done. 934 00:46:22,563 --> 00:46:24,843 I mean it, really. Thank you so much. 935 00:46:24,843 --> 00:46:27,043 - Thank you. 936 00:46:27,043 --> 00:46:28,603 - Joe... 937 00:46:30,523 --> 00:46:32,243 - It's OK. - No. No, no, no. 938 00:46:32,243 --> 00:46:34,523 Joe, are you going to say goodbye to Maya, now? 939 00:46:34,523 --> 00:46:36,723 - Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye! 940 00:46:42,283 --> 00:46:43,603 - Hey. 941 00:46:44,843 --> 00:46:46,043 (Hey.) 942 00:46:57,563 --> 00:47:01,123 - MUSIC: Ace Of Spades by Motorhead 943 00:47:04,523 --> 00:47:07,803 JOE AND MAYA SING ALONG 944 00:47:04,523 --> 00:47:07,803 # If you like to gamble 945 00:47:04,523 --> 00:47:07,803 I tell you I'm your man 946 00:47:07,803 --> 00:47:11,683 # You win some, lose some It's all the same to me 947 00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:19,803 # The pleasure is to play 948 00:47:19,803 --> 00:47:22,363 # Makes no difference what you say 949 00:47:25,203 --> 00:47:26,723 # I don't share your greed 950 00:47:26,723 --> 00:47:28,363 # The only card I need is 951 00:47:28,363 --> 00:47:31,843 # The Ace of Spades The Ace of Spades 952 00:47:34,763 --> 00:47:37,363 JOE STOPS AND STARTS MUSIC # Playing for the high... The high 953 00:47:37,363 --> 00:47:38,443 # One... 954 00:47:38,443 --> 00:47:39,803 # The Ace of... # 955 00:48:25,323 --> 00:48:28,163 Heavy metal. She's been teaching him heavy metal. 956 00:48:28,163 --> 00:48:31,523 If I'd have known that, I'd have had her deported sooner(!) 957 00:48:46,563 --> 00:48:49,683 ENGINE HUMS 958 00:48:49,683 --> 00:48:51,203 - Bye, Maya. - Safe journey. 959 00:48:51,203 --> 00:48:53,683 - Be safe. 960 00:48:51,203 --> 00:48:53,683 - CAR HORN 961 00:49:08,443 --> 00:49:10,643 DOOR CLOSES 962 00:49:12,403 --> 00:49:16,243 Well, there you are. 963 00:49:16,243 --> 00:49:18,563 A bit of Lemmy was all that it took, eh? 964 00:49:18,563 --> 00:49:20,723 HE CHUCKLES 965 00:49:20,723 --> 00:49:23,043 - We all want to save our children from being hurt, Paul, 966 00:49:23,043 --> 00:49:25,483 but it's not how the world is. 967 00:49:25,483 --> 00:49:28,203 - Well, he's going to get more than enough hurt in his life, love. 968 00:49:28,203 --> 00:49:31,683 - Yeah, and he needs to be able to handle it. 969 00:49:31,683 --> 00:49:34,203 - What worries you? 970 00:49:34,203 --> 00:49:35,403 Hmm? 971 00:49:35,403 --> 00:49:37,003 That he can't express his feelings 972 00:49:37,003 --> 00:49:39,443 or that he hasn't got the feelings in the first place? 973 00:49:39,443 --> 00:49:40,923 - I think he has feelings, Paul. 974 00:49:40,923 --> 00:49:43,203 - Yeah, of course, look, no... - I think he feels so much 975 00:49:43,203 --> 00:49:47,043 and so deeply that he has to save himself from drowning in them, 976 00:49:47,043 --> 00:49:48,923 and I think that's why he shuts down 977 00:49:48,923 --> 00:49:51,403 and that's exactly what we can't let him do. 978 00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:57,403 - Why not? What if that is what he needs in order to survive? 979 00:49:57,403 --> 00:50:00,083 - Because the more he hides his feelings, 980 00:50:00,083 --> 00:50:02,203 the further away he gets from us. 981 00:50:14,403 --> 00:50:15,763 - Oh... 982 00:50:42,963 --> 00:50:44,243 Rebecca! 983 00:50:44,243 --> 00:50:46,163 Can I see you for a minute, please? 984 00:50:52,523 --> 00:50:53,643 - What is it? 985 00:50:53,643 --> 00:50:56,883 - Just take a seat here for me, will you, love? There you go. 986 00:50:58,043 --> 00:50:59,843 OK, erm... 987 00:51:01,283 --> 00:51:04,523 Listen, you've got a sex life. I know that, and it's... 988 00:51:04,523 --> 00:51:07,843 it's fine, and I don't need to know the details, but... 989 00:51:14,763 --> 00:51:16,643 - That isn't...that isn't mine. 990 00:51:16,643 --> 00:51:19,243 - Well, I'm not going to need the morning-after pill, am I? 991 00:51:19,243 --> 00:51:22,483 - Dad, it really isn't, I would never not take precautions. 992 00:51:22,483 --> 00:51:24,203 - Is this what this is all about? 993 00:51:24,203 --> 00:51:26,483 Threatening Luke with medical records? 994 00:51:26,483 --> 00:51:27,803 Does he know about this? 995 00:51:27,803 --> 00:51:29,323 - It isn't mine. 996 00:51:29,323 --> 00:51:32,043 - Look, I don't know what Stuart has been filling your head with 997 00:51:32,043 --> 00:51:36,403 about being a free spirit and all of that, but this is real life, 998 00:51:36,403 --> 00:51:39,963 and I don't want your real life to be ruined by some half-baked ideas 999 00:51:39,963 --> 00:51:41,203 that he has put into your head 1000 00:51:41,203 --> 00:51:44,083 about having lots of babies and having a family. - Dad, it isn't mine! 1001 00:51:44,083 --> 00:51:45,963 - Don't lie to me, love! 1002 00:51:47,363 --> 00:51:49,403 HE SIGHS 1003 00:51:49,403 --> 00:51:52,523 Don't lie to me. OK, this is not going to get us anywhere. 1004 00:51:52,523 --> 00:51:55,403 - Then don't accuse me of something that I haven't done! 1005 00:51:55,403 --> 00:51:57,483 - Hey, hey, hey, hey, what's going on? 1006 00:51:57,483 --> 00:51:59,283 - Ask him. 1007 00:51:59,283 --> 00:52:00,683 - Look at that. 1008 00:52:01,923 --> 00:52:04,123 The morning-after pill. 1009 00:52:04,123 --> 00:52:06,683 The morning-after pill - I found it in the bin. 1010 00:52:06,683 --> 00:52:10,123 - Mmm-hmm. - Now, look, she's going to have to talk to one of us. 1011 00:52:10,123 --> 00:52:12,763 It doesn't matter if it's me or if it's you, but she is going to 1012 00:52:12,763 --> 00:52:15,843 have to talk to one of us. - OK. It's not hers, it's mine. 1013 00:52:15,843 --> 00:52:18,123 - Don't cover for her, Alison, OK? This is... 1014 00:52:18,123 --> 00:52:19,563 - Bex, go upstairs, darling. - Eh? 1015 00:52:19,563 --> 00:52:22,843 Look, we've got to be honest. This is important. 1016 00:52:22,843 --> 00:52:25,083 Rebecca! - Hey! It's mine. 1017 00:52:27,243 --> 00:52:28,923 I took it. It's mine. 1018 00:52:35,683 --> 00:52:37,723 - MUSIC: Leave Right Now by Will Young 1019 00:52:37,723 --> 00:52:39,643 # And I'd love to say I do 1020 00:52:39,643 --> 00:52:42,163 # Give everything to you 1021 00:52:42,163 --> 00:52:44,123 # But I can never now be true... # 1022 00:52:44,123 --> 00:52:46,243 REBECCA SOBS QUIETLY 1023 00:52:46,243 --> 00:52:48,003 # So I say 1024 00:52:48,003 --> 00:52:50,963 # I think I'd better leave right now 1025 00:52:50,963 --> 00:52:53,523 # Before I fall any deeper 1026 00:52:53,523 --> 00:52:56,723 # I think I'd better leave right now... # 1027 00:52:56,723 --> 00:52:58,203 Why would you do that? 1028 00:52:59,603 --> 00:53:01,043 - Because it's not the right time. 1029 00:53:01,043 --> 00:53:03,243 I haven't got the energy for another pregnancy, 1030 00:53:03,243 --> 00:53:06,083 let alone another baby, not right now. - Why didn't you say anything? 1031 00:53:06,083 --> 00:53:09,563 Why did you do it behind my back? - Because you were all excited. 1032 00:53:09,563 --> 00:53:11,763 So was I, for a bit, but then I just 1033 00:53:11,763 --> 00:53:14,603 thought about the reality and it... 1034 00:53:14,603 --> 00:53:17,363 I just didn't have the strength to fight you about it. - I get that. 1035 00:53:17,363 --> 00:53:19,403 I do. 1036 00:53:19,403 --> 00:53:22,323 I get it. The time is right for me and it's not for you. 1037 00:53:22,323 --> 00:53:23,403 I get that. 1038 00:53:23,403 --> 00:53:24,643 - Yeah. 1039 00:53:26,923 --> 00:53:30,203 - I mean, there will be another time, right? - I hope so, yeah. 1040 00:53:34,283 --> 00:53:37,563 - Is it because you're scared that, you know, 1041 00:53:37,563 --> 00:53:39,483 the baby will turn out like Joe? 1042 00:53:39,483 --> 00:53:43,043 - It's part of it, I think. Aren't you? 1043 00:53:43,043 --> 00:53:44,683 - Erm... 1044 00:53:45,883 --> 00:53:48,803 I want two children. 1045 00:53:48,803 --> 00:53:50,883 - We've got two children. 1046 00:53:53,603 --> 00:53:55,923 - HE SIGHS 1047 00:53:59,403 --> 00:54:01,123 I want a normal child, Alison. 1048 00:54:01,123 --> 00:54:04,363 I want to father a normal child, so, there, I've said it. 1049 00:54:10,083 --> 00:54:11,763 - You have, indeed, yeah. 1050 00:54:11,763 --> 00:54:15,003 - Hey. Well, if I can't say that to you, then who can I say that to? 1051 00:54:15,003 --> 00:54:16,203 - Oh. - God, you're meant to be 1052 00:54:16,203 --> 00:54:17,683 the one person in the world that 1053 00:54:17,683 --> 00:54:20,403 I can say stuff like that to. - Do you know? I'm exhausted. 1054 00:54:20,403 --> 00:54:25,563 I'm exhausted. Now, every day, every minute, I am sinking already. 1055 00:54:25,563 --> 00:54:27,443 Look how hard we had to fight for Maya. 1056 00:54:27,443 --> 00:54:30,003 Look at how we fell out over it. 1057 00:54:30,003 --> 00:54:31,563 One tiny thing goes wrong for Joe, 1058 00:54:31,563 --> 00:54:33,203 and it takes all the strength we have. 1059 00:54:33,203 --> 00:54:35,883 To try and support another baby... - Maybe that's the problem. 1060 00:54:35,883 --> 00:54:41,203 We've got all this energy and we've only got Joe to focus on. 1061 00:54:41,203 --> 00:54:44,003 - So, what, I should have another child as light relief from Joe? 1062 00:54:44,003 --> 00:54:46,443 - No, I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that... 1063 00:54:46,443 --> 00:54:51,003 Look, if we overthink it, then there will never be a right time. 1064 00:54:51,003 --> 00:54:52,643 Will there? 1065 00:54:54,883 --> 00:54:57,043 SHE EXHALES 1066 00:54:58,963 --> 00:55:00,643 There won't, will there? 1067 00:55:05,643 --> 00:55:07,323 - No. 1068 00:55:07,323 --> 00:55:09,363 - HE SIGHS 1069 00:55:12,123 --> 00:55:14,483 - No, maybe there won't. I don't... 1070 00:55:14,483 --> 00:55:17,323 There will never be a right time because I don't want another child. 1071 00:55:17,323 --> 00:55:19,083 It's as simple as that and... - Oh. 1072 00:55:21,283 --> 00:55:22,883 Except, I do. 1073 00:55:22,883 --> 00:55:25,323 - Yes, but we have Joe, and he's different - 1074 00:55:25,323 --> 00:55:28,083 there's no point in pretending otherwise. - So... 1075 00:55:28,083 --> 00:55:32,563 - So he makes everything different for us. Everything. 1076 00:55:32,563 --> 00:55:33,683 - Right. 1077 00:55:36,083 --> 00:55:39,043 He's your son, Alison, he's not your fucking alibi. 1078 00:55:42,483 --> 00:55:43,843 - Hey. 1079 00:55:45,043 --> 00:55:47,643 - DOOR OPENS 1080 00:55:47,643 --> 00:55:49,683 DOOR CLOSES 1081 00:55:49,683 --> 00:55:51,723 SHE EXHALES 1082 00:55:51,723 --> 00:55:54,523 RAIN SPLASHES 1083 00:56:02,803 --> 00:56:05,363 HE SIGHS 1084 00:56:20,723 --> 00:56:23,363 - You and me are in the middle of 30 shades of crap right now, 1085 00:56:23,363 --> 00:56:25,083 and I hurt you. You hurt me. 1086 00:56:25,083 --> 00:56:26,843 - I wouldn't mind knocking about with you. 1087 00:56:26,843 --> 00:56:29,123 - Maurice, when was the last time you asked a woman out? 1088 00:56:29,123 --> 00:56:31,643 - You're always on the outside, commenting on our marriage. 1089 00:56:31,643 --> 00:56:33,643 It never feels like you're actually inside it. 1090 00:56:33,643 --> 00:56:35,243 - Which way did he go? - He went outside. 1091 00:56:35,243 --> 00:56:37,163 - I know he went outside. Where did Joe go?! 1092 00:56:37,163 --> 00:56:39,403 - Don't you dare talk to my son like that. Get out! 1093 00:56:39,403 --> 00:56:41,923 - Maurice, you can't go shooting off up the hill on your own. 1094 00:56:41,923 --> 00:56:44,763 - I lost him. I'll find him. - We'll find him. 1095 00:56:44,763 --> 00:56:46,403 - Joe!