1 00:00:24,668 --> 00:00:27,918 Okay, yeah, Dad, just press the circle. Just once. Just press it-- 2 00:00:28,001 --> 00:00:30,209 -[man splutters] -Okay, wait, tell me when we're going. 3 00:00:30,293 --> 00:00:31,876 -Okay. All right. -Okay. Ready? 4 00:00:32,376 --> 00:00:36,168 {\an8}Okay. I know I have some things to clear up, so… 5 00:00:37,668 --> 00:00:39,876 {\an8}I thought this is gonna be the best way. 6 00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:43,918 {\an8}If you don't like what I'm saying, don't write in the comments 7 00:00:44,001 --> 00:00:47,084 {\an8}because I will not read it and will not even care. 8 00:00:47,793 --> 00:00:49,834 {\an8}[sighs] Okay, here we go. 9 00:00:49,918 --> 00:00:51,668 {\an8}["The Bad Touch" by The Bloodhound Gang plays] 10 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:55,376 When I moved to the US, I knew fitting in was gonna be hard. 11 00:00:56,084 --> 00:00:59,668 I just didn't know how bloody hard it was going to be. 12 00:00:59,751 --> 00:01:02,668 And all I wanted was to get invited to the coolest club in town, 13 00:01:03,501 --> 00:01:04,918 Rock 'N' Bowl. 14 00:01:05,001 --> 00:01:06,501 But I never was. 15 00:01:06,584 --> 00:01:10,501 Anyone who was anyone was rolling with their homies on a Saturday night. 16 00:01:10,584 --> 00:01:14,709 It was like basically a VMAs after-party. 17 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:19,959 So when I turned 14, uh, yeah, that's where I had my birthday. 18 00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:23,168 -Ah! It's an alien baby. -Ew! 19 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:27,168 That's gonna make me sick. I think I'm gonna shit fireballs. 20 00:01:27,251 --> 00:01:30,751 [woman] Being there made me feel cool for the first time in my life. 21 00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:31,876 Steph, you do one. 22 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,126 [Steph] I felt like the kids I wanted to be. 23 00:01:34,209 --> 00:01:38,168 You know, the ones who seem immune to that awkward teen phase… 24 00:01:38,251 --> 00:01:40,168 ["Only You (And You Alone)" by The Platters plays] 25 00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:43,376 …the ones whose bones have Jenga'd themselves into a hot frame. 26 00:01:43,459 --> 00:01:46,584 The only bumps on their skin are abs, 27 00:01:46,668 --> 00:01:51,834 and their natural scent is perfect, like CK One perfect. 28 00:01:51,918 --> 00:01:53,418 -The populars. -Been looking for you. 29 00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:57,168 'Sup, Blaine. Hey, Tiffany. 30 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,418 [clears throat] 31 00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:01,251 I'm having a birthday party, if you guys wanna join. 32 00:02:02,334 --> 00:02:03,334 [boy] Ooh, ooh. 33 00:02:03,418 --> 00:02:05,584 Cute that in Australia you call it a party, 34 00:02:05,668 --> 00:02:09,251 'cause in America, we call that a freak show. [chuckles] 35 00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:13,251 Well, um, it's actually not a freak show 'cause we have cake, so… 36 00:02:13,793 --> 00:02:14,793 Let's go. 37 00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:18,543 [Steph] God, I just wanted to be like them so bad. 38 00:02:18,626 --> 00:02:21,418 If they were this amazing in high school, 39 00:02:21,501 --> 00:02:24,209 imagine how perfect the rest of their lives would be. 40 00:02:24,293 --> 00:02:28,668 -♪ Can make the darkness bright ♪ -[chuckles] 41 00:02:28,751 --> 00:02:31,168 [girl] Come on, Steph, I wanna take more photos. 42 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,168 -Come on, Bobby! [laughs] -[laughs] 43 00:02:33,251 --> 00:02:34,626 [girl] You are too much. 44 00:02:34,709 --> 00:02:38,834 Guys! Could we just, like, try to be cool for once? 45 00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:41,251 [sad music plays] 46 00:02:41,334 --> 00:02:44,084 [Steph] I hated thinking that life wasn't for me… 47 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,376 that I was destined to be 48 00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:53,709 just some average, boring, invisible girl who had no friends. 49 00:02:53,793 --> 00:02:57,043 In Australia, we call that a Nigel, but whatever. 50 00:02:57,126 --> 00:02:58,668 You guys know what I mean. 51 00:03:00,709 --> 00:03:02,459 I wanted to be something more. 52 00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:05,918 And that's when I decided… 53 00:03:08,168 --> 00:03:10,668 [scoffs] …that's it. I'm gonna become popular. 54 00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,751 I know your favorite is "I Want It That Way," 55 00:03:13,834 --> 00:03:15,084 {\an8}but it's my favorite too. 56 00:03:15,584 --> 00:03:16,834 {\an8}Oh my God! 57 00:03:16,918 --> 00:03:21,251 {\an8}Okay, I Darrin Dance Groove'd my ass off and became captain of the cheer squad. 58 00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:24,543 {\an8}I got so many new friends, I didn't even know some of their names. 59 00:03:24,626 --> 00:03:27,418 {\an8}But like, of course, I would always smile at them. 60 00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:32,168 And, oh my God, before I knew it, I had the hottest boyfriend in school. 61 00:03:32,251 --> 00:03:36,543 Like he was so, so hot. Just like, mega hot. 62 00:03:36,626 --> 00:03:39,793 {\an8}-[camera shutter clicks] -["Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne plays] 63 00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:42,376 {\an8}[man] Steph! Seth is here! 64 00:03:42,459 --> 00:03:44,501 {\an8}Uh, yep, yep. Coming, coming. 65 00:03:45,209 --> 00:03:50,043 ♪ Singing the song we wrote About a girl you used to know ♪ 66 00:03:50,126 --> 00:03:52,459 ["Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne ends] 67 00:03:52,543 --> 00:03:53,543 Mmm. 68 00:03:53,626 --> 00:03:56,334 Yeah, this… this is really good, Mr. Conway. 69 00:03:56,876 --> 00:03:58,168 It's cereal, Seth. 70 00:03:58,251 --> 00:04:00,709 Stephie, let's move it! 71 00:04:00,793 --> 00:04:04,793 [inhales deeply] So, are you going to ask my daughter to the prom or not? 72 00:04:05,668 --> 00:04:06,668 Me? [chuckles] 73 00:04:06,751 --> 00:04:09,459 What? No, I don't know what you're talking about. 74 00:04:09,543 --> 00:04:13,251 You drive here every morning just so Stephie can drive you to school. 75 00:04:13,334 --> 00:04:15,376 -You think I'm an idiot? -No, sir. 76 00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:19,793 It's really hard to find the right time. And what about Blaine? 77 00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,001 [Steph] Hey! 78 00:04:21,084 --> 00:04:23,751 Oh my God, Seth, did you Fatone your hair? 79 00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:25,626 It looks so good! 80 00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:27,834 Dad, you didn't have to cook breakfast. 81 00:04:27,918 --> 00:04:29,168 You're about to graduate. 82 00:04:29,251 --> 00:04:31,834 We're not gonna have too many more of these breakfast opportunities. 83 00:04:31,918 --> 00:04:34,168 -Yeah. -Grateful to be included, sir. 84 00:04:34,251 --> 00:04:36,334 Um, can we actually rain check? 85 00:04:36,418 --> 00:04:39,334 I'm on a diet of only bananas and ice cubes till prom. 86 00:04:39,418 --> 00:04:41,793 Oh! Speaking of… [clears throat] 87 00:04:43,626 --> 00:04:46,001 I've been, uh, waiting to give you this. 88 00:04:50,376 --> 00:04:51,709 [dramatic music plays] 89 00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:54,751 "I know you'll look beautiful in this. Love, Mum." 90 00:04:57,001 --> 00:04:58,418 Oh my God. [chuckles] 91 00:05:08,543 --> 00:05:09,834 It's gorgeous. 92 00:05:15,501 --> 00:05:17,418 You know, Dad, um, 93 00:05:17,501 --> 00:05:20,126 I saw at the mall in that empty store next to Wet Seal 94 00:05:20,209 --> 00:05:23,501 that they were holding, like, groups for widows and widowers. 95 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:24,959 Looked pretty jumping. 96 00:05:25,043 --> 00:05:28,293 You're a catch, Mr. Conway. A sad woman would totally go out with you. 97 00:05:28,918 --> 00:05:32,626 I'll tell you what, I'll ask somebody out when you do, Seth. 98 00:05:32,709 --> 00:05:33,918 [chuckles] Yeah. 99 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,834 [Steph] Did you hear Tiffany went behind my back 100 00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,209 and got the Activities Committee 101 00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:40,918 to make the prom king and queen song "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling? 102 00:05:41,001 --> 00:05:44,876 Uh, no. You know, that piece of gossip hasn't really trickled down to me yet. 103 00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:47,709 [sighs] Well, when it gets to you, believe it. 104 00:05:48,209 --> 00:05:49,751 [scoffs] She's doing it to mess with me. 105 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:52,959 She knows I want a classic, like "Power of Love." 106 00:05:53,043 --> 00:05:56,709 I'm not going to go to my prom, get my crown, get glitter-rained on 107 00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:59,418 and then dance to "Wherever You Will F-ing--" [gasps] 108 00:06:00,376 --> 00:06:02,126 -[tires squealing] -Ooh! Ow! 109 00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:04,543 There she is, 110 00:06:05,418 --> 00:06:06,751 Deanna Russo, 111 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:10,251 Harding High cheer captain and prom queen '95. 112 00:06:10,334 --> 00:06:11,876 Bangin' bod. 113 00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:15,084 She's boy-band rich and lives in the most beautiful house in Maryland 114 00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:17,376 with her… Three, two, one… 115 00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:19,084 [gasps] 116 00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:20,793 …perfect husband, 117 00:06:20,876 --> 00:06:24,584 Harding High quarterback with a famously girthy dong. 118 00:06:24,668 --> 00:06:25,626 So I've heard. 119 00:06:26,918 --> 00:06:28,834 They're just like me and Blaine. 120 00:06:29,501 --> 00:06:32,751 I want it so bad I can practically taste them frenching. 121 00:06:33,709 --> 00:06:35,043 It's my dream life. 122 00:06:35,543 --> 00:06:37,959 And it all starts with prom queen. 123 00:06:38,668 --> 00:06:41,543 [Seth] Well, I think you're better than just another Deanna Russo. 124 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,293 Oh my God, Seth… 125 00:06:44,001 --> 00:06:47,209 Oh my God. [inhales sharply] Your forehead's bleeding. 126 00:06:48,209 --> 00:06:49,043 Oh. 127 00:06:49,126 --> 00:06:51,251 [indistinct chattering, laughing] 128 00:06:54,959 --> 00:06:55,834 Sure you're okay? 129 00:06:55,918 --> 00:06:57,043 Oh, yeah, I'm good. 130 00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,584 [sighs] Hey, so you know prom is coming up, 131 00:07:00,668 --> 00:07:03,168 and I really wanted to ask you something. 132 00:07:03,251 --> 00:07:04,751 I know it's a long shot, but-- 133 00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:08,126 Seth, you don't even have to finish the question. 134 00:07:08,209 --> 00:07:11,793 -The answer's yes. -Wait, really? What about Blaine? 135 00:07:11,876 --> 00:07:15,501 Ah, he'll understand. It wouldn't feel right to spend prom without you. 136 00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:16,959 Seth, 137 00:07:17,834 --> 00:07:21,626 I would love for you to come to my after-prom party. 138 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:25,459 Oh, wow. Yeah, cool. [chuckles] 139 00:07:25,543 --> 00:07:28,293 -Thanks, Steph. -Oh my God. Duh, no prob. 140 00:07:28,376 --> 00:07:30,376 Oh, also, there's gonna be a VIP room, 141 00:07:30,459 --> 00:07:32,959 and you're totally gonna be on the list. I mean it. 142 00:07:33,043 --> 00:07:33,876 Fun. [chuckles] 143 00:07:33,959 --> 00:07:37,668 Okay, um, I'm gonna let you out here because I got to make my entrance. 144 00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:40,709 Oh, also, I need that sock back. It's Blaine's. 145 00:07:41,334 --> 00:07:42,918 We use it for handies. 146 00:07:43,001 --> 00:07:45,001 ["She's So High" by Tal Bachman plays] 147 00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:50,168 Oh, okay, yeah. That's… that's gross. 148 00:07:52,001 --> 00:07:53,251 [car engine starts] 149 00:07:53,334 --> 00:07:54,584 -Bye! -Bye! 150 00:07:54,668 --> 00:07:57,459 ♪ I know where I belong ♪ 151 00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,626 ♪ And nothing's gonna happen ♪ 152 00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:01,459 ♪ Yeah ♪ 153 00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:07,168 ♪ 'Cause she's so high ♪ 154 00:08:07,251 --> 00:08:09,209 ♪ High above me ♪ 155 00:08:09,293 --> 00:08:11,459 ♪ She's so lovely ♪ 156 00:08:11,543 --> 00:08:15,001 ♪ She's so high ♪ 157 00:08:15,084 --> 00:08:17,168 ♪ Like Cleopatra ♪ 158 00:08:17,251 --> 00:08:20,501 ♪ Joan of Arc or Aphrodi-- ♪ 159 00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:22,293 -[grunts, laughs] -[laughs] Oh my God! 160 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,543 I was wondering where the future prom queen was. 161 00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:27,168 Just thinking about my life with the future prom king. 162 00:08:27,251 --> 00:08:28,126 [chuckles] 163 00:08:28,209 --> 00:08:30,501 I'm gonna miss you so much these next two periods. 164 00:08:30,584 --> 00:08:31,418 Yeah? 165 00:08:31,918 --> 00:08:35,043 Let me give you a little something to remember me by. Boop, boop! 166 00:08:35,126 --> 00:08:37,959 Oh my God, Blaine, stop. That's so embarrassing. 167 00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:40,709 Oh my God, he's so into me. What? 168 00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:43,709 Oh my God. Did anyone see that? Bye. 169 00:08:43,793 --> 00:08:45,709 Ew. He shouldn't do that to you. 170 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,918 [scoffs] It's called love, Marth. That's what couples do. 171 00:08:49,001 --> 00:08:51,334 When you get a boyfriend, you'll understand. 172 00:08:51,418 --> 00:08:52,751 Yeah, I'll pass. 173 00:08:53,543 --> 00:08:55,168 -Here. -[gasps] 174 00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:56,793 Don't lose these. I'm serious. 175 00:08:56,876 --> 00:08:59,709 If my parents find out I gave you the keys to our lake house for a party, 176 00:08:59,793 --> 00:09:02,418 they'll ship me off to a convent before I even make it to Wesleyan. 177 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,126 -[Steph laughs] -My grandfather built that with his hands. 178 00:09:05,209 --> 00:09:06,043 If anything happens-- 179 00:09:06,126 --> 00:09:09,501 Oh my God, I promise you have nothing to worry about. You're the best. 180 00:09:09,584 --> 00:09:12,501 Thank you so much, Marth. You know you're invited, right? 181 00:09:13,001 --> 00:09:15,834 Did you just invite me to a party that's at my own house? 182 00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:18,501 Of course not. I'm inviting you to the VIP section. 183 00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,959 Seth will be there too. So you'll have someone to talk to. 184 00:09:21,043 --> 00:09:23,543 Right. I could also talk to you. 185 00:09:24,168 --> 00:09:26,751 [hesitates] Right, yeah, duh. 186 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:30,459 Um, except I'm probably gonna be losing my bottom half virginity to Blaine. 187 00:09:30,543 --> 00:09:31,918 So I'll be, like, in and out. 188 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:35,584 So will Blaine, literally. You know what I mean? 189 00:09:35,668 --> 00:09:38,709 Also, Martha, it's pep rally day. Why aren't you in your cheer uniform? 190 00:09:39,334 --> 00:09:40,334 [sighs] 191 00:09:40,418 --> 00:09:42,251 [gasps] Oh my God. 192 00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:44,876 You look so hot right now. 193 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,001 -You look so great. -Okay. Yeah. 194 00:09:47,084 --> 00:09:49,209 -Okay. I'll see you later. Bye! -Bye. 195 00:09:50,668 --> 00:09:52,418 [Blaine panting] 196 00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:57,209 So, I've been telling everyone about the VIP section at our party, 197 00:09:57,293 --> 00:09:59,334 but here's a little secret. 198 00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:04,251 There's gonna be a VIP VIP section just for us. 199 00:10:04,334 --> 00:10:05,543 [chuckles awkwardly] 200 00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:07,168 For boning. 201 00:10:07,251 --> 00:10:08,376 [both chuckle] 202 00:10:09,293 --> 00:10:11,459 Mmm, so, uh, about that, 203 00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:15,626 um, most of the football team's already said yes to going to a different party. 204 00:10:15,709 --> 00:10:17,834 But this one has a heated pool and a live band. 205 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,001 What? Whose party? 206 00:10:20,584 --> 00:10:22,876 Tiff's. But we could bone there, if you want. 207 00:10:24,834 --> 00:10:27,876 What the slut? 208 00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:30,043 [man] Get back to your seat, Miss Conway. 209 00:10:30,126 --> 00:10:34,626 I would like to start my class before the next millennium hits. 210 00:10:34,709 --> 00:10:35,918 [Steph scoffs] 211 00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:38,418 -Can I go to the bathroom? -Fine. 212 00:10:38,501 --> 00:10:39,834 Dex, wait. 213 00:10:45,376 --> 00:10:47,501 Get this to Tiffany, 214 00:10:48,751 --> 00:10:49,584 now. 215 00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:52,709 Would you turn your books to the… 216 00:10:52,793 --> 00:10:54,126 [screams] 217 00:10:55,626 --> 00:10:57,001 [sighs] 218 00:10:57,084 --> 00:10:59,084 [suspenseful music plays] 219 00:11:01,668 --> 00:11:03,126 Got your note. 220 00:11:04,543 --> 00:11:05,418 [chuckles] 221 00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:10,001 For the last time, Tiffany, I won cheer captain fair and square, 222 00:11:10,084 --> 00:11:13,918 and you and Blaine were broken up when we got together. I don't cheat. 223 00:11:14,001 --> 00:11:19,126 So why do you continue to be the butt-roids on my… butt? 224 00:11:19,209 --> 00:11:21,084 I don't know what you're talking about. 225 00:11:21,168 --> 00:11:23,668 [sighs] First, you changed the prom king and queen song. 226 00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,334 Now you're throwing an after-prom party 227 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:27,709 when you know I've been planning mine for months. 228 00:11:27,793 --> 00:11:30,209 You mean the one you have to throw at Barfa's family lake house 229 00:11:30,293 --> 00:11:31,459 'cause you live in a shanty. 230 00:11:32,918 --> 00:11:34,126 Her name is Martha, 231 00:11:34,209 --> 00:11:37,418 and she hasn't thrown up on herself since the eighth grade, so… 232 00:11:38,668 --> 00:11:40,334 -Cancel your party! -[Tiffany] Sorry. 233 00:11:40,418 --> 00:11:43,043 My daddy has already paid for the caterers. 234 00:11:43,126 --> 00:11:47,834 Open bar, Jäger, Mike's Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice. 235 00:11:48,459 --> 00:11:50,251 All the good shit. 236 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,876 So, you cancel yours. 237 00:11:53,959 --> 00:11:56,584 You won't wanna throw a party after I beat you for prom queen. 238 00:11:58,001 --> 00:11:59,959 [sighs] What makes you think you're gonna win? 239 00:12:00,043 --> 00:12:02,418 'Cause I'm MTV, and you're VH1. 240 00:12:02,501 --> 00:12:04,834 I'm the real deal, and you're a poser. 241 00:12:04,918 --> 00:12:08,668 You think you can shimmy your koala ass to the top of the food chain I created 242 00:12:08,751 --> 00:12:10,543 and screw up my senior year? 243 00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:13,168 You're just a poor spaz playing dress up. 244 00:12:15,084 --> 00:12:16,793 Don't go chasing waterfalls. 245 00:12:19,543 --> 00:12:22,084 Take that back. 246 00:12:22,168 --> 00:12:24,043 [tense music plays] 247 00:12:25,543 --> 00:12:26,709 [door closes] 248 00:12:28,376 --> 00:12:31,376 -[sighs] -[Blaine] Freshmen suck! 249 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,918 -Freshmen suck! -[crowd] Freshmen suck! 250 00:12:34,001 --> 00:12:35,709 -Freshman suck! -Settle down. 251 00:12:36,501 --> 00:12:38,793 Blaine, settle down. Settle down. 252 00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:40,168 Listen. 253 00:12:40,709 --> 00:12:44,918 We have less than a month of school left. Let's all just get through it. 254 00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:47,376 -Now I know you all… -[Steph] All right, sluts. 255 00:12:47,459 --> 00:12:49,334 Everybody, listen up. 256 00:12:49,418 --> 00:12:51,209 Listen to Martha. 257 00:12:51,293 --> 00:12:53,543 Just a couple notes before we get out there. 258 00:12:53,626 --> 00:12:55,001 We replaced the spotlight operators 259 00:12:55,084 --> 00:12:56,876 with kids tall enough to see what's going on. 260 00:12:56,959 --> 00:12:59,834 Try not to hit the ground too hard so our CD doesn't skip. 261 00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:00,876 "Our CD"? 262 00:13:00,959 --> 00:13:05,959 I'm sorry, since when does a clipboard and a windbreaker make you a Bulldogette? 263 00:13:06,043 --> 00:13:09,126 Since I appointed her equipment manager, Tiffany. 264 00:13:09,209 --> 00:13:11,334 Do you have any idea how much she does for us? 265 00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:14,043 Without her, we'd fall apart. Whereas without you, Tiff, 266 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:17,001 we'd, I don't know, have less stains on our uniform 267 00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:20,084 -from catching your spray-tanned ass. -[girls mumble] 268 00:13:20,168 --> 00:13:21,168 Continue, Marth. 269 00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:22,751 Oh, I was done. 270 00:13:23,334 --> 00:13:24,251 Oh. 271 00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:27,668 All right, biatches. When I started choreographing this routine, 272 00:13:27,751 --> 00:13:30,918 I knew it had to be more than just a regular cheer, 273 00:13:31,001 --> 00:13:34,501 which is why I made this, 274 00:13:34,584 --> 00:13:36,793 a step-by-step guide to our routine 275 00:13:36,876 --> 00:13:41,584 so that future squads will be able to replicate our VMA-level performance. 276 00:13:41,668 --> 00:13:42,501 [sighs] 277 00:13:42,584 --> 00:13:46,084 Martha, please see that this gets into the school archives 278 00:13:46,168 --> 00:13:48,126 so that our legends will live on. 279 00:13:49,126 --> 00:13:51,501 -Do we have a school archive? -We do now. 280 00:13:52,043 --> 00:13:53,709 All right, places, skanks! 281 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,209 Twins? 282 00:13:57,001 --> 00:13:57,918 Can we talk? 283 00:13:58,001 --> 00:14:00,293 And speaking of "not school appropriate," 284 00:14:00,376 --> 00:14:04,876 please welcome our award-winning Harding Bulldogettes. 285 00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:07,334 [crowd cheers] 286 00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:09,043 ♪ Are you ready ♪ 287 00:14:09,876 --> 00:14:11,334 ♪ For the Harding ♪ 288 00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:15,584 -♪ Bulldogettes? ♪ -That's my girl! 289 00:14:15,668 --> 00:14:17,043 [cheers] 290 00:14:17,876 --> 00:14:19,626 ♪ Good gracious, ass is bodacious ♪ 291 00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:21,293 ♪ Flirtatious, trying to show patience ♪ 292 00:14:21,376 --> 00:14:23,168 ♪ And can't nobody stop the juice ♪ 293 00:14:23,251 --> 00:14:25,251 ♪ So, baby, tell me what's the use I said ♪ 294 00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:27,668 -♪ It's gettin' hot in here ♪ -♪ So hot ♪ 295 00:14:27,751 --> 00:14:29,376 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 296 00:14:29,459 --> 00:14:33,293 ♪ I am gettin' so hot I wanna take my clothes off ♪ 297 00:14:33,376 --> 00:14:35,334 -♪ It's gettin' hot in here ♪ -♪ So hot ♪ 298 00:14:35,418 --> 00:14:36,959 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 299 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:40,584 ♪ I am gettin' so hot I wanna take my clothes off ♪ 300 00:14:40,668 --> 00:14:44,209 ["Hot in Herre" by Nelly slows down] 301 00:14:44,959 --> 00:14:48,168 ♪ Come on over, come on over, baby ♪ 302 00:14:48,251 --> 00:14:50,084 -Yeah! -♪ Come on over ♪ 303 00:14:50,168 --> 00:14:51,793 ♪ Come on over, over, over ♪ 304 00:14:51,876 --> 00:14:54,084 ♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪ 305 00:14:54,168 --> 00:14:55,668 [drum music plays] 306 00:14:55,751 --> 00:14:57,084 -Ready? -[cheerleaders] Okay! 307 00:14:57,168 --> 00:15:00,793 ♪ We are the Bulldogs We like it rough, rough, rough ♪ 308 00:15:00,876 --> 00:15:03,959 ♪ No one can beat us No, we're too tough ♪ 309 00:15:04,626 --> 00:15:09,334 ♪ Yeah, yeah, we fight to the finish We're in it to win it ♪ 310 00:15:09,418 --> 00:15:12,418 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 311 00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:14,501 ♪ Like this ♪ 312 00:15:14,584 --> 00:15:18,209 ♪ Some people search forever ♪ 313 00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:21,418 ♪ For that one special kiss ♪ 314 00:15:21,501 --> 00:15:27,418 ♪ Oh, I can't believe It's happening to me ♪ 315 00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:31,334 ♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪ 316 00:15:31,418 --> 00:15:33,126 ♪ For a moment ♪ 317 00:15:33,209 --> 00:15:36,334 ♪ Moment, moment, moment ♪ 318 00:15:36,418 --> 00:15:39,834 -♪ Moment, moment, moment… ♪ -[crowd gasps] 319 00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:51,834 [man] Who wants to forget the good old days? 320 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,209 {\an8}No one. 321 00:15:53,293 --> 00:15:54,626 {\an8}That's why, at Balbo Hummers, 322 00:15:54,709 --> 00:15:57,709 {\an8}we've got the sweetest rides for the sweetest prices. 323 00:15:57,793 --> 00:16:00,501 Oh! And hey, all you high school seniors out there, 324 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:03,168 who doesn't want a Hummer on their big night. Am I right? 325 00:16:03,251 --> 00:16:08,334 That's right. Balbo Hummers is renting out stretch limos for all of your prom needs. 326 00:16:08,418 --> 00:16:10,501 [women] ♪ Come get a Hummer from Balbo ♪ 327 00:16:10,584 --> 00:16:14,376 {\an8}Balbo Hummers. We're ready for prom. Are you? 328 00:16:15,918 --> 00:16:17,293 I'm ready for prom. 329 00:16:17,918 --> 00:16:19,709 [heart monitor beeping] 330 00:16:29,418 --> 00:16:30,501 What the slut? 331 00:16:36,459 --> 00:16:37,376 [loud thump] 332 00:16:38,251 --> 00:16:40,001 Oh, hi. 333 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,418 Hi. Hello. Hi. 334 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,709 Excuse me. Um, I'm not sure what happened, 335 00:16:44,793 --> 00:16:48,209 but I think there's been a mistake, and I've been put in the wrong room 336 00:16:48,293 --> 00:16:52,209 'cause there's a bunch of birthday cards for, like, a really old person. 337 00:16:52,293 --> 00:16:54,751 And the TV's flat, like the back of it is missing, 338 00:16:54,834 --> 00:16:57,209 and I really need to see who's number one on TRL. 339 00:16:57,293 --> 00:17:00,293 Dr. Johnson to the third floor. The cheerleader just woke up. 340 00:17:00,376 --> 00:17:03,626 Oh, I don't mean to be a bitch, but "cheer captain." 341 00:17:04,126 --> 00:17:05,209 Cheer captain. 342 00:17:05,293 --> 00:17:09,376 And do you have any Von Dutch jeans? 'Cause this is, like, really unflattering. 343 00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:10,459 Oh crap. 344 00:17:12,043 --> 00:17:13,168 What are you staring at? 345 00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:17,001 Hello? It's very rude to be a stare bear. 346 00:17:17,084 --> 00:17:18,251 [tense music plays] 347 00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:21,376 Hello? Are you-- Stop… stop doing that! 348 00:17:21,459 --> 00:17:23,293 Why are you doing that, you freaky old-- 349 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,418 [tense music plays] 350 00:17:31,918 --> 00:17:33,334 -[loud thump] -[gasps] 351 00:17:33,834 --> 00:17:35,459 And the cheerleader's back down. 352 00:17:35,959 --> 00:17:38,168 Oh, cheer captain. Are you okay? 353 00:17:38,251 --> 00:17:39,626 [finger taps] 354 00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,793 This defies scientific explanation. 355 00:17:41,876 --> 00:17:42,959 Being this hot? 356 00:17:43,876 --> 00:17:44,709 No. 357 00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,959 [sighs] Stephanie, it's 2022. 358 00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:50,418 No way. [laughs] 359 00:17:50,501 --> 00:17:51,543 Mm-hmm. 360 00:17:51,626 --> 00:17:54,793 Are you sure I haven't been Freaky Friday'd into some old lady's body? 361 00:17:54,876 --> 00:17:57,584 You've been in a coma for almost two decades. 362 00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:00,626 That doesn't sound right. 363 00:18:00,709 --> 00:18:03,959 I know this is a lot to process, but we'll just take this nice and slow. 364 00:18:04,043 --> 00:18:05,168 -[dad] Stephie? -[woman] Stephanie! 365 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:06,334 -Oh my God. -[woman] Stephanie! 366 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:09,918 Stephie, I can't believe this! It's me. It's Dad! 367 00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:10,876 [dad and woman laugh] 368 00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:14,251 [woman squeals] Oh my God! 369 00:18:14,334 --> 00:18:15,709 -Dad? -Yeah! 370 00:18:15,793 --> 00:18:19,376 How about me? Do you remember? It's Martha, Martha Riser. [chuckles] 371 00:18:19,459 --> 00:18:21,209 [dad] I never thought I'd have this moment again. 372 00:18:21,293 --> 00:18:23,293 I was this close to freezing you. 373 00:18:23,376 --> 00:18:24,251 What do you mean, Dad? 374 00:18:24,334 --> 00:18:27,376 Don't worry. I couldn't afford it. I was only gonna freeze your head. 375 00:18:27,459 --> 00:18:29,584 -[Martha] No! -[doctor] We'll have to be gentle. 376 00:18:29,668 --> 00:18:32,043 Physically she's aged, but mentally she's still 17. 377 00:18:32,126 --> 00:18:34,668 Of course. Yes, I see how we came in a little hot. 378 00:18:34,751 --> 00:18:35,584 [dad] Yeah. 379 00:18:35,668 --> 00:18:38,543 Martha, you look like an Ally McBeal character. 380 00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:40,293 Oh my God. Thank you. 381 00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:44,043 Well, the good news is nothing abnormal came up in her tests. 382 00:18:44,126 --> 00:18:47,751 Stephanie, your physical and mental resilience are remarkable. 383 00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:49,001 Uh, let… let's go home. 384 00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,168 [Martha laughs] 385 00:18:50,251 --> 00:18:51,918 [upbeat music plays] 386 00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:59,209 Marth, oh my God, what is that, a tiny TV? 387 00:18:59,293 --> 00:19:02,293 [laughs] No. No, Steph, this is my cell phone. 388 00:19:02,376 --> 00:19:04,918 Oh my God. Whoa! Really? 389 00:19:05,001 --> 00:19:07,168 -That is very cool. -[laughs] 390 00:19:07,251 --> 00:19:10,668 I always knew you'd be some high-powered, Sex and the City businesswoman. 391 00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:12,668 -Total Miranda, right, Dad? -Oh… 392 00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:13,584 [dad chuckles] 393 00:19:13,668 --> 00:19:17,293 I'm actually a high school principal at Harding. 394 00:19:17,376 --> 00:19:21,459 [laughs] Oh my God, you still got a good sense of humor. 395 00:19:22,084 --> 00:19:23,793 [laughs] 396 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:32,334 That's… I mean, that's actually a very cool and important job. 397 00:19:32,418 --> 00:19:35,043 -So, whoo! -[Martha] Mm-hmm. [chuckles] 398 00:19:35,918 --> 00:19:38,084 Um, and they give you a fancy cell phone for that? 399 00:19:38,168 --> 00:19:40,043 Oh, they're common now. Even I have one. 400 00:19:40,126 --> 00:19:40,959 Oh. Okay. [chuckles] 401 00:19:41,043 --> 00:19:44,251 They do much more than just call people. You could also watch the news. 402 00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:46,918 Look, here's a news story about you right now. 403 00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:50,834 -What? No. Oh, about me? No, oh my God. -Yeah, it's you! 404 00:19:50,918 --> 00:19:52,043 Okay, wait, show me. 405 00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:56,459 [man] Video edits of her infamous accident went immediately viral on Instagram… 406 00:19:56,543 --> 00:20:00,084 Oh my God. I went down like a bag of dicks. 407 00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:01,918 Oh. 408 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:03,501 -Stephie! -Wait. What does "viral" mean? 409 00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:06,918 Well, "viral" just means everybody saw it. 410 00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:09,626 Everybody's seen that? I look retarded in those videos. 411 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:12,709 Now, Steph, you… you cannot say the R-word anymore. 412 00:20:12,793 --> 00:20:14,418 -What? Really? Why? -[Martha] Mm-mm. 413 00:20:14,501 --> 00:20:17,334 Because it's offensive to people with intellectual disabilities. 414 00:20:17,418 --> 00:20:21,001 But what if something really is, like, "R-word," 415 00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:24,709 um, what do you call it? Like, "super gay"? 416 00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:28,501 No, no. You can't call things "gay" anymore, either, 417 00:20:28,584 --> 00:20:32,001 unless you use it as a neutral-positive term 418 00:20:32,084 --> 00:20:34,668 to refer to somebody who identifies as homosexual. 419 00:20:34,751 --> 00:20:37,543 -So you cannot say the "R-word." -[Martha] Right. 420 00:20:37,626 --> 00:20:38,584 And, um… 421 00:20:38,668 --> 00:20:40,001 [moans] Sorry. Coma brain. 422 00:20:40,084 --> 00:20:42,126 -What was the other word you can't say? -"Gay." 423 00:20:42,209 --> 00:20:43,334 Ha! Made you say it. 424 00:20:43,418 --> 00:20:45,584 -[laughing] -[sighs exasperatedly] 425 00:20:45,668 --> 00:20:47,084 -Stephie. -I-- That's… 426 00:20:47,168 --> 00:20:48,834 -Still got it, Dad. -You do. 427 00:20:48,918 --> 00:20:51,459 Dad, um, can you take a left up here? 428 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:52,668 -Oh. -To see-- 429 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:56,334 No, no, no. No, um, actually, you should get home and rest. 430 00:20:56,418 --> 00:20:58,876 Rest? I've been asleep for 20 years. 431 00:20:58,959 --> 00:21:01,501 -Dad, just take this left here. -Jim, don't take the left. 432 00:21:01,584 --> 00:21:03,126 Is there-- I don't understand… 433 00:21:03,209 --> 00:21:05,334 -Indicator. Indicate left. -Do not. Do not. 434 00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:09,793 -[Steph] Thank God, it's still the same. -Yep. There it is. Let's keep going. 435 00:21:10,334 --> 00:21:11,959 [Steph] That's not Deanna Russo's husband. 436 00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:13,418 -Who is that? -[Martha] Um… 437 00:21:13,501 --> 00:21:16,584 Oh my God. I know that ass anywhere. That's Blaine. 438 00:21:16,668 --> 00:21:20,959 Wait. Did he get me my dream house? Stop the car! Why didn't you say anything? 439 00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:23,959 -Don't stop the car. -What are you talking about? Stop the car! 440 00:21:24,043 --> 00:21:25,959 Don't stop the car. No. He's probably sleeping. 441 00:21:26,043 --> 00:21:28,168 -He walked into the house. -You don't wanna wake him. 442 00:21:28,251 --> 00:21:29,334 He looked tired! 443 00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:32,084 -I don't know what to do. Ah! -Just stop the car! 444 00:21:32,168 --> 00:21:33,376 -[screams] -[Martha] No! 445 00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:34,668 [Steph grunts] 446 00:21:35,459 --> 00:21:37,459 [panting] 447 00:21:51,793 --> 00:21:53,126 Oh. You know what? 448 00:21:53,209 --> 00:21:55,709 Someone from the shelter already came by yesterday 449 00:21:55,793 --> 00:21:59,251 to pick up our donations, so… Thank you though. 450 00:21:59,334 --> 00:22:00,334 Tiffany? 451 00:22:01,501 --> 00:22:04,084 Shut up! 452 00:22:04,751 --> 00:22:06,126 Stephanie? 453 00:22:06,209 --> 00:22:09,959 -Oh my God, look at you! -[groans] 454 00:22:10,043 --> 00:22:12,709 -I can't believe this. -What is happening? 455 00:22:12,793 --> 00:22:15,251 I have so many things I… I want to say. 456 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:17,959 I've always felt terrible about what happened. 457 00:22:18,043 --> 00:22:20,543 I can't believe you didn't land that stunt. 458 00:22:20,626 --> 00:22:24,376 Wait, why are you living here with Blaine? I don't get it. [chuckles] 459 00:22:24,459 --> 00:22:26,418 This is mine and Blaine's dream house, so… 460 00:22:26,501 --> 00:22:29,084 -Well, actually-- -Why are you here? 461 00:22:29,168 --> 00:22:30,668 It's a long story. 462 00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:33,668 Our parents got it for us as a wedding gift and… 463 00:22:33,751 --> 00:22:36,293 Well, that's it. The end. [chuckles] 464 00:22:36,376 --> 00:22:37,834 No, you shut your face. 465 00:22:37,918 --> 00:22:41,043 Um, where's Blaine? [chuckles] Just get me Blaine, and, um-- 466 00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:44,084 I'm so sorry. He is just so swamped right now with work. 467 00:22:44,168 --> 00:22:45,043 Oh. 468 00:22:45,543 --> 00:22:46,959 I see what you did here. 469 00:22:47,668 --> 00:22:50,084 Get rid of me so you can steal my dream life. 470 00:22:50,168 --> 00:22:52,043 Oh… [chuckles] 471 00:22:52,751 --> 00:22:53,834 Steph. 472 00:22:53,918 --> 00:22:55,376 -No, no. -[grumbles] 473 00:22:55,459 --> 00:22:58,084 Look, I know we never saw eye-to-eye back then, 474 00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:01,126 but you know, the beautiful thing about time is you move on. 475 00:23:01,209 --> 00:23:02,126 [groans] 476 00:23:02,209 --> 00:23:07,334 Okay, you know what? I need to go because I am brining zucchini ribbons, 477 00:23:07,418 --> 00:23:10,084 but I never let a guest leave without a gift. 478 00:23:10,168 --> 00:23:13,084 Um, so I'm just gonna give you… 479 00:23:13,168 --> 00:23:14,293 -[Steph] What? -Here. 480 00:23:14,376 --> 00:23:17,251 Homemade from my own starter. A peace offering. 481 00:23:17,334 --> 00:23:21,209 I really look forward to putting the past behind us. 482 00:23:21,793 --> 00:23:25,251 You know, move past the past. 483 00:23:26,084 --> 00:23:29,668 So, maybe when you're feeling better and a little bit more stable, 484 00:23:29,751 --> 00:23:31,168 we could do brunch sometime. 485 00:23:31,251 --> 00:23:33,084 -Blaine! -It's great to see you! 486 00:23:33,168 --> 00:23:34,168 [Steph] Blaine! 487 00:23:36,251 --> 00:23:39,418 -[video game sound effects play] -Come on, come on, come on, come on. 488 00:23:41,501 --> 00:23:42,876 Who's that at the door? 489 00:23:42,959 --> 00:23:46,376 It was… Stephanie Conway. 490 00:23:50,043 --> 00:23:51,084 She's awake? 491 00:23:57,126 --> 00:23:58,168 Ah, yes. 492 00:24:00,876 --> 00:24:02,584 Perfectly preserved. 493 00:24:04,501 --> 00:24:06,959 -[scooter honks] -[Jim] And here we are. 494 00:24:07,043 --> 00:24:09,501 [Martha] Oh! Did she not wear her seat belt? 495 00:24:09,584 --> 00:24:10,834 [Jim] I don't think she did. 496 00:24:10,918 --> 00:24:12,418 -[Martha] Oh God. -[Jim grunts] 497 00:24:12,501 --> 00:24:14,834 -It's locked, hon. -Dad! 498 00:24:14,918 --> 00:24:16,584 [Jim] Here we are. Yeah. 499 00:24:16,668 --> 00:24:17,501 Hey, S… 500 00:24:17,584 --> 00:24:18,751 [Jim chuckles] 501 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,668 [Jim] She's… 502 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:22,543 [pants] 503 00:24:24,251 --> 00:24:26,251 [emotional music plays] 504 00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:30,209 Oh my God. 505 00:24:31,084 --> 00:24:33,043 Didn't have the heart to change it. 506 00:24:33,126 --> 00:24:37,501 Kept your Cabriolet too. You know me, never very good at letting things go. 507 00:24:38,084 --> 00:24:39,084 [kisses] 508 00:24:39,168 --> 00:24:40,209 [both chuckle] 509 00:24:45,501 --> 00:24:49,001 I… I also never, uh, canceled any of your magazine subscriptions. 510 00:24:49,084 --> 00:24:52,126 Wait, Madonna's now called Lady Gaga? 511 00:24:52,209 --> 00:24:53,418 [chuckles] 512 00:24:54,043 --> 00:24:54,876 -No. -No. 513 00:24:54,959 --> 00:24:58,251 -But she looks exactly like Madonna. -You've had a lot to digest today. 514 00:24:58,334 --> 00:24:59,876 We'll get you caught up this weekend. 515 00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:02,876 [Steph] Dad! 516 00:25:06,501 --> 00:25:08,918 Dad. What the F? 517 00:25:09,501 --> 00:25:12,751 Who was in charge of my feeding tube? My boobs are huge. 518 00:25:13,584 --> 00:25:16,043 Well, you… you're just getting older. 519 00:25:16,126 --> 00:25:17,959 You know, bodies change, 520 00:25:18,043 --> 00:25:21,209 and pretty soon, you'll go through menopause. 521 00:25:21,293 --> 00:25:22,918 Oh my God. Don't. 522 00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:24,334 [Jim sighs] 523 00:25:24,418 --> 00:25:25,793 I can't do this. 524 00:25:26,293 --> 00:25:27,709 [breaths heavily] 525 00:25:27,793 --> 00:25:30,293 I was so close to having my dream life. 526 00:25:30,376 --> 00:25:32,168 You still can, sweetie. 527 00:25:32,251 --> 00:25:34,334 I can't. Look at this. 528 00:25:34,418 --> 00:25:36,209 -Well-- -[mumbles] 529 00:25:36,293 --> 00:25:39,126 -If anyone can do it, it's you. -[doorbell rings] 530 00:25:39,209 --> 00:25:41,834 Oh, Dad, shut up. I'll get it. 531 00:25:41,918 --> 00:25:43,001 Dad… 532 00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:44,918 [sighs] Oh God. Okay. 533 00:25:53,501 --> 00:25:56,376 ["Falling" by Joshua Radin plays] 534 00:26:05,626 --> 00:26:08,709 ♪ I built a place for you to land ♪ 535 00:26:10,501 --> 00:26:12,168 ♪ Can you see it now ♪ 536 00:26:14,251 --> 00:26:16,251 ♪ From where you stand? ♪ 537 00:26:16,959 --> 00:26:21,001 ♪ You may think the fall is just too far ♪ 538 00:26:22,084 --> 00:26:23,668 ♪ When you leap ♪ 539 00:26:24,501 --> 00:26:27,668 ♪ You see who you really are ♪ 540 00:26:29,459 --> 00:26:33,376 ♪ And if you jump now I know you'll survive ♪ 541 00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:38,293 ♪ You see it's a beautiful ride ♪ 542 00:26:39,459 --> 00:26:44,126 ♪ When you're high ♪ 543 00:26:44,209 --> 00:26:47,334 ♪ Flying through the sky ♪ 544 00:26:50,543 --> 00:26:52,543 ♪ And on your way down ♪ 545 00:26:52,626 --> 00:26:55,876 ♪ The sound of a new day ♪ 546 00:26:56,459 --> 00:26:58,251 ♪ Calls you from the ground ♪ 547 00:26:58,334 --> 00:27:00,459 [woman] Steph, babe, what are you doing? 548 00:27:00,543 --> 00:27:02,959 I'm trying to not be ugly. 549 00:27:04,709 --> 00:27:07,001 I'm just tired of being made fun of. 550 00:27:09,209 --> 00:27:11,126 [woman breathes deeply] 551 00:27:11,209 --> 00:27:13,418 You are not ugly. 552 00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:16,209 Yes, I am. 553 00:27:17,251 --> 00:27:19,751 I just want to be like the populars. 554 00:27:19,834 --> 00:27:22,668 Oh. What do they have that you don't? 555 00:27:22,751 --> 00:27:26,126 Cool hair. Hot clothes. Even hotter boyfriends. 556 00:27:26,209 --> 00:27:27,043 [chuckles] 557 00:27:28,751 --> 00:27:30,584 They pronounce their… [in American accent] …R's. 558 00:27:30,668 --> 00:27:32,168 Mmm. [chuckles] 559 00:27:32,251 --> 00:27:33,376 Well… 560 00:27:34,334 --> 00:27:40,793 I think that you are beautiful and smart and funny… 561 00:27:40,876 --> 00:27:42,584 [chuckles] 562 00:27:42,668 --> 00:27:44,834 …and I think the accent makes you unique. 563 00:27:45,918 --> 00:27:46,918 [chuckles] 564 00:27:47,001 --> 00:27:49,459 Well, it doesn't really count if you say it, Mum. 565 00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:51,584 Oh. It doesn't, does it? 566 00:27:51,668 --> 00:27:54,959 Well, uh, too bad 'cause it's a fact. 567 00:27:56,251 --> 00:27:58,668 Mums have senses about things like this. 568 00:27:59,918 --> 00:28:02,668 -And I know that you… -Uh, Mum. 569 00:28:02,751 --> 00:28:06,459 [laughs] …are gonna graduate and grow up 570 00:28:07,418 --> 00:28:09,418 and have the most perfect life. 571 00:28:10,293 --> 00:28:11,334 I just know it. 572 00:28:13,376 --> 00:28:14,334 You mean it? 573 00:28:16,418 --> 00:28:18,751 Do you think I could even be prom queen? 574 00:28:20,168 --> 00:28:22,543 -You sure that's what you want? -Duh. 575 00:28:22,626 --> 00:28:24,001 [chuckles and sighs] 576 00:28:24,793 --> 00:28:28,834 Well, if anyone can make it happen, it's you. 577 00:28:32,334 --> 00:28:34,334 [dramatic music plays] 578 00:28:37,001 --> 00:28:38,209 [sighs] 579 00:28:53,751 --> 00:28:56,459 ["Remember the Name" (Featuring Styles of Beyond) by Fort Minor plays] 580 00:28:56,543 --> 00:28:57,376 ♪ Let's go ♪ 581 00:28:57,459 --> 00:28:59,709 ♪ Ten percent luck Twenty percent skill ♪ 582 00:28:59,793 --> 00:29:02,918 ♪ Fifteen percent concentrated Power of will ♪ 583 00:29:03,001 --> 00:29:05,626 ♪ Five percent pleasure Fifty percent pain ♪ 584 00:29:05,709 --> 00:29:08,001 ♪ And a hundred percent reason To remember the name ♪ 585 00:29:08,084 --> 00:29:10,876 ♪ This is ten percent luck Twenty percent skill ♪ 586 00:29:10,959 --> 00:29:13,793 ♪ Fifteen percent concentrated Power of will ♪ 587 00:29:13,876 --> 00:29:16,626 ♪ Five percent pleasure Fifty percent pain ♪ 588 00:29:16,709 --> 00:29:19,334 ♪ And a hundred percent reason To remember the name ♪ 589 00:29:19,418 --> 00:29:20,584 ♪ Yeah ♪ 590 00:29:21,168 --> 00:29:23,251 ♪ Fort Minor, M-Shinoda ♪ 591 00:29:23,334 --> 00:29:25,084 ♪ Styles of Beyond ♪ 592 00:29:29,668 --> 00:29:31,043 ["Remember the Name" ends] 593 00:29:37,084 --> 00:29:37,918 [exhales] 594 00:29:43,959 --> 00:29:45,543 -Martha! [moans] -Oh my God. 595 00:29:45,626 --> 00:29:47,584 -There you are! -Steph! Wha… 596 00:29:48,168 --> 00:29:49,918 -[Steph] Yeah. -What are you doing here? 597 00:29:50,001 --> 00:29:53,126 This is exactly the type of car a principal would drive. 598 00:29:53,209 --> 00:29:55,584 It's like… like you nailed it. 599 00:29:55,668 --> 00:29:58,668 -Um, I just need your help with something. -[Martha] Uh… 600 00:29:59,668 --> 00:30:00,959 I want to go back to school. 601 00:30:01,751 --> 00:30:02,959 Oh, Steph. 602 00:30:03,043 --> 00:30:05,459 That's wonderful. Yes, of course. 603 00:30:05,543 --> 00:30:08,459 I can get you some info on those programs. There's a lot of great ones. 604 00:30:08,543 --> 00:30:13,084 Uh, no, Marth, I meant, like, me come back to school, to Harding High, 605 00:30:13,168 --> 00:30:14,543 and finish my senior year. 606 00:30:16,001 --> 00:30:16,918 What? 607 00:30:18,043 --> 00:30:18,918 God. 608 00:30:19,584 --> 00:30:20,501 No… 609 00:30:21,126 --> 00:30:21,959 No? 610 00:30:22,043 --> 00:30:24,418 Or not no, but maybe not? 611 00:30:24,501 --> 00:30:26,043 Steph, hey, you know what? 612 00:30:26,626 --> 00:30:27,918 Instead… 613 00:30:28,001 --> 00:30:30,334 Wow. There's online classes. 614 00:30:30,418 --> 00:30:32,126 [gasps] Or… or… or… or… 615 00:30:32,209 --> 00:30:35,626 Um… Oh, GED courses at the community college. 616 00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:38,376 I cannot move on to the next chapter of my life 617 00:30:38,459 --> 00:30:41,418 if I'm still stuck in the old one for 20 years. 618 00:30:42,001 --> 00:30:44,251 [huffs] And I understand that, but… 619 00:30:44,876 --> 00:30:47,959 Steph… [chuckles] …I can't let an almost 40-year-old woman 620 00:30:48,043 --> 00:30:49,209 into high school. 621 00:30:49,293 --> 00:30:54,501 Yeah, but you heard the doctor. I'm still 17 mentally. 622 00:30:54,584 --> 00:30:55,751 -And look… -That's-- 623 00:30:55,834 --> 00:30:59,668 …that is medical. And you cannot argue with science. 624 00:30:59,751 --> 00:31:02,418 -Are you sure you're ready to go back? -Yes! 625 00:31:02,501 --> 00:31:06,001 High school was like yesterday for me. It will not be weird at all. 626 00:31:06,876 --> 00:31:08,418 What else am I supposed to do? 627 00:31:08,501 --> 00:31:11,959 Start an OnlyFans account? Queef for 20 dollars? 628 00:31:12,043 --> 00:31:13,334 -[Martha] What? -That's… 629 00:31:13,418 --> 00:31:15,126 I think that's what happens there. 630 00:31:15,209 --> 00:31:18,293 Those aren't your only two options. You have lots of options. 631 00:31:18,876 --> 00:31:22,584 Look… [splutters] …high school, it's an intense but delicate ecosystem. 632 00:31:22,668 --> 00:31:24,626 Yeah, which I can handle. 633 00:31:25,209 --> 00:31:27,876 But you know what? There's only a month of the school year left-- 634 00:31:27,959 --> 00:31:30,584 Oh, that's perfect! That's basically the time that I missed! 635 00:31:31,334 --> 00:31:34,334 -Oh, yeah. -Oh, that is, like, fate. 636 00:31:34,418 --> 00:31:36,584 Like, Destiny's Child. 637 00:31:37,126 --> 00:31:38,251 [sighs] 638 00:31:38,334 --> 00:31:42,001 Well, you might be the first person in history 639 00:31:42,084 --> 00:31:44,251 to use a doctor's note to get into school. 640 00:31:44,334 --> 00:31:46,751 -My God! Yes! -[Martha laughs] 641 00:31:47,334 --> 00:31:50,334 Martha! Oh my God. You're the best. You're the best. 642 00:31:50,418 --> 00:31:52,126 I'm so worried. 643 00:31:52,709 --> 00:31:57,334 ♪ This time I'm gonna be Everything I want me to be ♪ 644 00:31:57,418 --> 00:31:59,543 ♪ So fresh, yeah, so free ♪ 645 00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:01,668 ♪ I'mma get what's coming to me ♪ 646 00:32:01,751 --> 00:32:03,918 ♪ No diamonds, no rubies ♪ 647 00:32:04,001 --> 00:32:06,584 ♪ Gonna keep me down No, I gotta be ♪ 648 00:32:06,668 --> 00:32:09,126 ♪ So damn high Yeah, you'll see ♪ 649 00:32:09,209 --> 00:32:11,001 ♪ I'mma be where I wanna be ♪ 650 00:32:11,084 --> 00:32:14,834 ♪ Hold on tight if you want to ride ♪ 651 00:32:14,918 --> 00:32:20,293 ♪ I'mma reach new heights Yeah, let's paint the sky ♪ 652 00:32:20,376 --> 00:32:22,959 -♪ I'm gonna be your ♪ -♪ Aeroplane ♪ 653 00:32:24,209 --> 00:32:25,084 [exhales] 654 00:32:25,751 --> 00:32:26,793 Sorry, babe. 655 00:32:27,376 --> 00:32:28,501 I was in a coma. 656 00:32:28,584 --> 00:32:32,876 -["Candy" by Mandy Moore plays] -♪ Ooh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 657 00:32:33,376 --> 00:32:35,043 ♪ Ooh, oh ♪ 658 00:32:35,626 --> 00:32:37,918 -♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ -♪ Give it to me ♪ 659 00:32:38,001 --> 00:32:43,418 ♪ I'm so addicted to the loving That you're feeding to me ♪ 660 00:32:44,501 --> 00:32:46,501 -["Candy" stops] -[indistinct chattering] 661 00:32:47,543 --> 00:32:51,168 -["Candy" continues] -♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪ 662 00:32:51,251 --> 00:32:55,793 ♪ Body's in withdrawal Every time you take it away… ♪ 663 00:32:55,876 --> 00:32:58,293 Miss Conway! Miss Conway! Miss Conway! 664 00:32:58,376 --> 00:33:01,209 [laughs] Hi! [in Australian accent] G'day, mate! 665 00:33:01,293 --> 00:33:04,626 I wanted to say hi in your native tongue. 'Cause you're Australian, right? 666 00:33:04,709 --> 00:33:06,459 -Yes. Yeah. -Oh, good, good, good! 667 00:33:06,543 --> 00:33:09,668 Your friend, my boss, Principal Riser, asked me to show you around 668 00:33:09,751 --> 00:33:12,084 and give you a little orientation here at Harding. 669 00:33:12,168 --> 00:33:15,001 Oh, okay. I don't really need to. I know my way around. 670 00:33:15,084 --> 00:33:18,543 Oh, come on, it's fun. I have nothing else to do. 671 00:33:18,626 --> 00:33:22,334 I'm Mr. Tapper, the guidance counselor, but you can call me Mr. T. 672 00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:26,293 Is that because you… [mimics Mr. T] …"pity the fool" who has a bad first day? 673 00:33:26,376 --> 00:33:27,709 Oh. [chuckles] 674 00:33:27,793 --> 00:33:31,293 Well, yeah. Yeah, I would feel… I would feel terrible. 675 00:33:31,376 --> 00:33:34,251 No. I meant, like, you know, Mr. T. [chuckles] 676 00:33:34,334 --> 00:33:37,251 [mimics Mr. T] "I pity the fool. I pity the fool." 677 00:33:37,334 --> 00:33:41,543 I've never said that before, but I guess I could start if you wanted me to. 678 00:33:41,626 --> 00:33:42,918 I pity the fool! 679 00:33:43,709 --> 00:33:46,001 Mr. T is pitying fools over here. 680 00:33:46,084 --> 00:33:50,043 [laughs] All right, let's, um… let's… let's go on a little tour here. 681 00:33:50,126 --> 00:33:53,334 I have your records here from 2002. You were a cheerleader. 682 00:33:53,418 --> 00:33:55,668 -Cheer captain. -Ooh, cheer captain. 683 00:33:55,751 --> 00:34:00,168 Uh, president of the Fashion Club. Whoa! Your grades were pretty good. 684 00:34:00,251 --> 00:34:03,959 My God, shut up. Don't. I don't want anybody here to think I'm a dork. 685 00:34:04,043 --> 00:34:05,834 I'm saying graduating shouldn't be a problem. 686 00:34:05,918 --> 00:34:07,001 Wait. What happened? 687 00:34:07,668 --> 00:34:09,918 Where are all the prom king and queen winners? 688 00:34:10,001 --> 00:34:13,918 Oh, um, Principal Riser felt that it sent a bad message, 689 00:34:14,001 --> 00:34:16,376 so she replaced it with something more positive. 690 00:34:17,168 --> 00:34:19,626 -That looks like a bunch of tampons. -Yeah, it is. 691 00:34:19,709 --> 00:34:21,418 But it's also found art. 692 00:34:21,918 --> 00:34:24,293 So you're saying they're found tampons. 693 00:34:25,168 --> 00:34:27,668 Oh, yes, I am. 694 00:34:29,209 --> 00:34:30,168 [cell phone chimes] 695 00:34:35,376 --> 00:34:37,376 [cell phones chiming] 696 00:34:40,584 --> 00:34:44,126 If not, just pretend it's fake history. [laughs] 697 00:34:44,209 --> 00:34:45,376 Oh! I am so sorry. 698 00:34:46,793 --> 00:34:47,626 Stephanie? 699 00:34:48,293 --> 00:34:49,918 -Oh my God! -It… it's… it's Seth! 700 00:34:50,001 --> 00:34:51,334 -Seth? -Yeah! 701 00:34:51,418 --> 00:34:53,084 -Oh, Seth! -Oh my goodness! 702 00:34:53,168 --> 00:34:54,918 -[Steph] Oh! -Wow! 703 00:34:55,001 --> 00:34:56,709 Martha said that you were back, 704 00:34:56,793 --> 00:34:59,543 and I guess, in my head, I just couldn't make it real, 705 00:34:59,626 --> 00:35:01,293 but look at you. You look great! 706 00:35:01,376 --> 00:35:04,293 It's me! Like, look, I'm walking and talking. 707 00:35:04,376 --> 00:35:06,209 -Yeah. Doing all those things. -Everything. 708 00:35:06,293 --> 00:35:08,001 Just like you used to, walk and talk. 709 00:35:08,084 --> 00:35:10,668 Well, look at you! Oh my God! 710 00:35:10,751 --> 00:35:14,626 -You look so cool and suave and adult. -Yeah. [chuckles] 711 00:35:14,709 --> 00:35:17,751 Wow! What happened to that nerd that used to just hang out in the library? 712 00:35:17,834 --> 00:35:20,043 He became the school librarian. 713 00:35:20,834 --> 00:35:21,959 Seriously? 714 00:35:22,043 --> 00:35:23,126 -[Seth] Mm-hmm. -Ah… 715 00:35:23,209 --> 00:35:25,376 Seth, thank you so much for the yearbook. 716 00:35:25,459 --> 00:35:27,501 Why didn't you just come in and say hi? 717 00:35:27,584 --> 00:35:31,501 [splutters] You know, I didn't wanna overwhelm you, you know. 718 00:35:31,584 --> 00:35:34,001 Plus, I can't stay out so late on a school night. [chuckles] 719 00:35:34,084 --> 00:35:36,709 -[school bell rings] -Ah, shit. Shoot. [splutters] 720 00:35:36,793 --> 00:35:37,626 Dang! 721 00:35:38,126 --> 00:35:42,126 I wish I could hang out and talk more, but I gotta get back to work. 722 00:35:42,209 --> 00:35:44,834 -Oh, yeah, I got to get back to class. -[laughs] Yeah. 723 00:35:44,918 --> 00:35:46,959 I don't wanna be 20 years and ten minutes late. 724 00:35:47,626 --> 00:35:50,959 So, I will see you around. You know where to find me. 725 00:35:51,043 --> 00:35:54,459 Yeah, same. You know where to find me, in the library. 726 00:35:54,543 --> 00:35:57,709 -Some things never change, right? -Bye, Seth. I'll call you. 727 00:35:58,543 --> 00:36:00,876 Or you can do some long division, I guess. 728 00:36:04,043 --> 00:36:06,001 Steph, how's your first day? 729 00:36:06,084 --> 00:36:09,251 Oh my God, it's just been, like, so amazing. 730 00:36:09,334 --> 00:36:12,709 Like, just making new friends. Everyone's already obsessed with me. 731 00:36:12,793 --> 00:36:16,043 That's so great. We strive for a welcoming environment here. 732 00:36:16,126 --> 00:36:19,751 Um, listen, I need to talk to you about rejoining the Bulldogettes. 733 00:36:19,834 --> 00:36:23,043 Um, instead of cheer, I think you should be focusing on your schoolwork. 734 00:36:23,126 --> 00:36:25,168 Yeah. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure! 735 00:36:25,251 --> 00:36:28,584 Um, but who do I talk to about rejoining? 736 00:36:29,918 --> 00:36:32,793 Well, you would talk to me. I'm the cheer coach now. 737 00:36:32,876 --> 00:36:35,043 Okay. Wait, I see your game. 738 00:36:35,126 --> 00:36:36,418 You become principal 739 00:36:36,501 --> 00:36:40,001 so then you can get real power by running the cheer squad. 740 00:36:40,084 --> 00:36:41,793 [exhales] That's smart. I respect that. 741 00:36:41,876 --> 00:36:45,209 Yeah, that… that's not why I got my master's in education. 742 00:36:45,293 --> 00:36:47,709 Um, look, I don't think the cheer squad 743 00:36:47,793 --> 00:36:49,251 needs a new member right now. 744 00:36:49,834 --> 00:36:52,376 Well, that's wrong 'cause every cheer squad in the country 745 00:36:52,459 --> 00:36:53,709 would love to have me. 746 00:36:53,793 --> 00:36:57,626 There's only two performances left, so I don't think it's worth it. 747 00:36:57,709 --> 00:37:00,543 Marth, I only need one performance to make a splash 748 00:37:00,626 --> 00:37:02,584 if I have any chance of becoming prom queen. 749 00:37:03,918 --> 00:37:06,168 -Steph… -This head still needs a crown. 750 00:37:06,251 --> 00:37:09,959 [Martha chuckles] I'm so sorry. It's not gonna get it. 751 00:37:10,043 --> 00:37:10,918 Steph, 752 00:37:11,834 --> 00:37:14,459 we do not have prom queen at this school anymore. 753 00:37:19,751 --> 00:37:21,876 Oh my God, are you having a mini stroke? 754 00:37:26,334 --> 00:37:27,209 What? 755 00:37:27,293 --> 00:37:29,709 Competitions like that, they're dangerous. 756 00:37:29,793 --> 00:37:33,293 Winning things, it just… it doesn't reflect our school values. 757 00:37:33,376 --> 00:37:36,668 With no winners, there aren't any losers. 758 00:37:36,751 --> 00:37:39,543 I've made a school with no losers. 759 00:37:39,626 --> 00:37:43,251 But everybody was just talking to me about how much they want prom queen. 760 00:37:43,334 --> 00:37:47,334 Steph, if all the students want it back, they know they can petition for it. 761 00:37:47,418 --> 00:37:49,084 But so far no one has. 762 00:37:49,168 --> 00:37:51,418 [boy] Oh, that was so close. You were so close. 763 00:37:51,501 --> 00:37:54,334 -[girl] Let me put it my mouth. -One more. Ready and one… 764 00:37:54,959 --> 00:37:56,543 [laughs] Yay! 765 00:37:56,626 --> 00:37:59,376 Oh, hey, is this where the ho-bags sit? 766 00:38:00,084 --> 00:38:02,418 ♪ Ho-ing down with the ho-bags, yeah ♪ 767 00:38:03,001 --> 00:38:05,418 ♪ Ho… ♪ That's a fun way of saying "what's up?" 768 00:38:05,501 --> 00:38:07,876 -I'm Janet. -And I'm Yaz, and that's Neil. 769 00:38:07,959 --> 00:38:10,251 I just have to say I'm living for this little vintage fit. 770 00:38:10,334 --> 00:38:12,501 -And I'm not even JK-ing. Okay? -[chuckles] 771 00:38:12,584 --> 00:38:16,293 Okay, what is with this enormous lunch table? 772 00:38:16,376 --> 00:38:18,584 How are we supposed to know where the popular kids sit? 773 00:38:18,668 --> 00:38:22,501 Well, when there's just one table, we're all popular kids. 774 00:38:22,584 --> 00:38:24,751 -Everybody. -Oh no, no, no. That's not how life works. 775 00:38:24,834 --> 00:38:26,834 There's only, like, three ways to become popular, 776 00:38:26,918 --> 00:38:29,501 to be a cheerleader, to work at Abercrombie, 777 00:38:29,584 --> 00:38:31,251 or to let guys go in the back door. 778 00:38:31,334 --> 00:38:33,209 -What? -Oh my God, I must be really popular then. 779 00:38:33,293 --> 00:38:35,459 -[chuckles] -What? 780 00:38:36,459 --> 00:38:38,793 -Nothing. -Anyways, um, Janet… 781 00:38:38,876 --> 00:38:40,209 [Janet] Mm-hmm. 782 00:38:40,293 --> 00:38:43,793 …I was wondering if you would like to sign my petition. 783 00:38:43,876 --> 00:38:46,084 It's to bring back prom queen to Harding High. 784 00:38:46,168 --> 00:38:48,584 -Oh my gosh! -[gasps] No way! 785 00:38:48,668 --> 00:38:50,626 Do I respect IRL grassroot efforts 786 00:38:50,709 --> 00:38:53,126 to effect change into societal systems? Yes. 787 00:38:53,209 --> 00:38:56,793 It's also very refreshing to see non-digital campaign strategy. 788 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,376 -It is. -So I'll sign it. 789 00:38:58,459 --> 00:39:01,834 I'll sign it too, but don't be surprised if we're the only ones. 790 00:39:02,418 --> 00:39:03,584 Why's that? 791 00:39:03,668 --> 00:39:06,251 Because nobody's gonna sign this unless Bri Luvs signs it. 792 00:39:06,334 --> 00:39:08,168 -Who? -Her. 793 00:39:08,793 --> 00:39:11,501 Bri Luvs. That's just her name on social media. 794 00:39:11,584 --> 00:39:14,334 She's got, like, three million Instagram followers. 795 00:39:14,418 --> 00:39:18,834 And that 98 pounds of sexy is Lance, her fine-ass boyfriend. 796 00:39:18,918 --> 00:39:21,834 [Janet] Last year, Vice did a whole vlog about their open relaish 797 00:39:21,918 --> 00:39:24,709 and called it the gold standard of the future. 798 00:39:24,793 --> 00:39:27,209 Cool, cool, cool. So, um, how do I get her to sign it? 799 00:39:27,293 --> 00:39:30,251 Oh, you won't. She's untouchable. 800 00:39:30,334 --> 00:39:33,293 Okay, everyone's friends with her, but she's friends with no one. 801 00:39:33,376 --> 00:39:34,209 Yeah. 802 00:39:34,293 --> 00:39:36,168 -She's coming over here. -No, she's not. 803 00:39:36,251 --> 00:39:38,418 -Just act normal. Avoid eye contact and-- -Okay. 804 00:39:38,501 --> 00:39:42,126 -[gasps] Yaz! Been a minute, huh? -It has been so long. 805 00:39:42,209 --> 00:39:46,543 So long! And Janet, loved your post about alternative body positivity the other day. 806 00:39:46,626 --> 00:39:48,418 You are so inspiring. 807 00:39:48,501 --> 00:39:50,834 I was just showing off my new bathing suit. 808 00:39:50,918 --> 00:39:53,918 Hi, I'm Bri, and you must be Stephanie. 809 00:39:54,001 --> 00:39:55,084 I heard about you. 810 00:39:55,168 --> 00:39:56,793 Really? [chuckles] 811 00:39:56,876 --> 00:39:57,834 I mean, um… 812 00:39:58,876 --> 00:40:01,709 Yeah, obviously, because I'm, like, the total shiznit, 813 00:40:01,793 --> 00:40:04,584 and I basically used to be you when I went here. 814 00:40:04,668 --> 00:40:07,584 You know, the most popular girl in school 'cause we're the same. 815 00:40:07,668 --> 00:40:09,918 I don't really think about popularity. 816 00:40:10,001 --> 00:40:12,709 I'm just trying to build my most authentic, socially conscious, 817 00:40:12,793 --> 00:40:16,168 body-positive, environmentally aware, and economically compassionate brand 818 00:40:16,251 --> 00:40:18,543 that's a home for inclusion, focused fashion, food, 819 00:40:18,626 --> 00:40:20,001 and fun-filled lifestyles. 820 00:40:20,084 --> 00:40:22,959 And if tons of people respond to that, then, great. 821 00:40:23,543 --> 00:40:25,793 Totally. [hesitates] Yes. 822 00:40:25,876 --> 00:40:28,334 I mean, obviously. 823 00:40:28,418 --> 00:40:31,376 Um, while I've got you here, would you mind signing this? 824 00:40:31,459 --> 00:40:33,584 I'm gonna stop you right there. [sucks teeth] 825 00:40:33,668 --> 00:40:37,293 I made a paper-free pledge this year, so I only deal with forms digitally. 826 00:40:37,376 --> 00:40:40,334 I'm sure you understand. But can we take an ussie? 827 00:40:40,918 --> 00:40:42,834 Yes. Absolutely. [chuckles] 828 00:40:42,918 --> 00:40:45,459 -Where to? -[Janet laughs] Um… [clears throat] 829 00:40:45,543 --> 00:40:48,043 Where are we going? We're going-- Ooh. What? Sorry. 830 00:40:48,126 --> 00:40:49,876 -[camera shutter clicks] -[Bri laughs] 831 00:40:49,959 --> 00:40:51,668 -What was that? -[Bri] Oh, before I forget. 832 00:40:51,751 --> 00:40:54,418 My mom, Tiffany, told me to tell you she says hi. 833 00:40:54,501 --> 00:40:56,459 She said to remind you she's married to Blaine 834 00:40:56,543 --> 00:40:58,709 and lives in your dream house, in case you couldn't place her. 835 00:40:58,793 --> 00:41:00,709 [hesitates] Your mom, Tiffany. 836 00:41:00,793 --> 00:41:02,876 Nice meeting you, Stephanie. Bye. 837 00:41:03,584 --> 00:41:05,293 -Bye. -Bye. 838 00:41:06,168 --> 00:41:08,459 Baby, you're manspreading again. 839 00:41:08,543 --> 00:41:09,418 Oh. [chuckles] 840 00:41:09,501 --> 00:41:10,793 -Whoops. -[Bri laughs] 841 00:41:12,334 --> 00:41:14,876 Oh my God. He knows you exist. 842 00:41:14,959 --> 00:41:18,376 Yeah, 'cause probably he's, like, already obsessed with me. 843 00:41:18,459 --> 00:41:21,668 -[cell phones chime] -Oh my God. What is that? A fire drill? 844 00:41:21,751 --> 00:41:23,293 -[Janet] Uh… -What, robot invasion? 845 00:41:23,376 --> 00:41:24,376 [Janet] Bri is going live. 846 00:41:25,001 --> 00:41:28,793 Hey, guys, we have a new student at Harding High, and she's older than us. 847 00:41:28,876 --> 00:41:31,543 And I want to remind everyone around the world 848 00:41:31,626 --> 00:41:35,043 that treating someone different 'cause they're elderly is called ageism, 849 00:41:35,126 --> 00:41:38,418 no matter how weird or foreign or out of touch they may seem, 850 00:41:39,001 --> 00:41:40,209 and that's not cool. 851 00:41:40,793 --> 00:41:42,751 Also, stay tuned. I have amazing news 852 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:45,709 about my upcoming summer screen-detox vacay in Nepal. 853 00:41:45,793 --> 00:41:49,543 Remember, Bri loves you. [kisses] 854 00:41:50,626 --> 00:41:51,584 That was hot. 855 00:41:52,168 --> 00:41:53,168 You're hot. 856 00:41:55,001 --> 00:41:57,834 -I'll sign your petition. -Oh my God! Yay! Three people! 857 00:41:57,918 --> 00:41:59,126 -Whoo! -Oh my God, no. 858 00:41:59,209 --> 00:42:01,543 Guys, I need the cheerleaders to sign this. 859 00:42:01,626 --> 00:42:03,751 Because then everyone will. Cheer pressure. 860 00:42:03,834 --> 00:42:07,084 Well, they'll sign it 'cause we already did. 861 00:42:07,918 --> 00:42:08,751 Ha! 862 00:42:08,834 --> 00:42:11,459 -You guys are the cheerleaders? -Absolutely. 863 00:42:13,126 --> 00:42:15,376 -[Yaz] Ready? -[cheerleaders] Okay! 864 00:42:15,459 --> 00:42:17,751 ♪ The Earth is smoking ♪ 865 00:42:17,834 --> 00:42:19,793 ♪ We need new laws ♪ 866 00:42:20,626 --> 00:42:25,584 ♪ Turtles are choking on plastic straws ♪ 867 00:42:27,126 --> 00:42:29,876 Oh. [chuckles] Good job, good job. What'd you think? 868 00:42:31,126 --> 00:42:32,334 What was that? 869 00:42:32,876 --> 00:42:35,209 -Well, that's-- -What was that? 870 00:42:36,209 --> 00:42:38,876 -It's our most popular routine. [chuckles] -Yeah. 871 00:42:39,834 --> 00:42:42,668 -Well, who were you guys cheering for? -For everyone. 872 00:42:42,751 --> 00:42:45,668 You know, to do the right thing, right? Team Humanity! 873 00:42:45,751 --> 00:42:47,084 [cheerleaders] Team Humanity! 874 00:42:47,168 --> 00:42:48,793 Uh… [chuckles] 875 00:42:48,876 --> 00:42:51,834 But what about, like, the music and the dancing and the flipping? 876 00:42:51,918 --> 00:42:55,043 Oh. Oh no. No. We do not do stunts anymore. 877 00:42:55,126 --> 00:42:57,834 -Oh. -And also we don't do any sexy dancing. 878 00:42:57,918 --> 00:43:00,876 We'd rather have people listen to our words than just our bodies. 879 00:43:00,959 --> 00:43:03,543 Okay, yeah, but this cheer would be so much better 880 00:43:03,626 --> 00:43:07,126 if you guys made me believe you were seconds away from showing your tits. 881 00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:09,043 -[Martha] No, Steph… -[Steph] Yes, Martha. 882 00:43:09,126 --> 00:43:11,793 -[Martha] Okay. -Yes. I had this one signature move. 883 00:43:11,876 --> 00:43:15,418 You'll love it. It's called lips to lips. Everybody, do it with me. 884 00:43:15,501 --> 00:43:17,084 -Don't. -You start on the face. 885 00:43:17,168 --> 00:43:18,709 -Fingers go down the body. -[Martha] No. 886 00:43:18,793 --> 00:43:20,251 Down the body and up. 887 00:43:20,334 --> 00:43:22,751 No! Why is everyone doing it? I'm saying don't do it. 888 00:43:22,834 --> 00:43:24,334 -[Yaz] Okay, look. -[Janet] Okay. 889 00:43:24,418 --> 00:43:27,584 We would do that, but our freshman year, Bri Luvs made an Instagram post 890 00:43:27,668 --> 00:43:29,834 saying that cheerleaders were anti-feminist. 891 00:43:29,918 --> 00:43:32,334 The whole school turned against us, and we had to recalibrate. 892 00:43:32,418 --> 00:43:34,834 Her post got, like, seven million likes. 893 00:43:34,918 --> 00:43:36,418 -Eight million. -It was for the best. 894 00:43:36,501 --> 00:43:39,209 Anyways, let's show her our gun control routine. 895 00:43:39,293 --> 00:43:40,876 -It's one of our best. -[Steph] No, wait! 896 00:43:40,959 --> 00:43:43,501 What even is this squad? Like… 897 00:43:45,334 --> 00:43:46,834 Is there even a cheer captain? 898 00:43:46,918 --> 00:43:49,084 -Yeah. -Yeah, Stephanie, I am the cheer captain. 899 00:43:49,168 --> 00:43:51,418 -I am the cheer captain. -I am the cheer captain. 900 00:43:51,501 --> 00:43:53,293 I'm a cheer captain. [chuckles] 901 00:43:53,376 --> 00:43:54,543 -And also the coach. -You? 902 00:43:55,668 --> 00:43:58,584 Martha, that's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard. 903 00:43:58,668 --> 00:44:02,334 Steph, we are all cheer captains here to promote… Say it with me. 904 00:44:02,418 --> 00:44:05,084 [cheerleaders] Equality! 905 00:44:05,168 --> 00:44:08,293 -Including you, Steph. -[boy] Welcome. 906 00:44:08,376 --> 00:44:10,959 -[pants] -Do you love it? Are you okay? 907 00:44:11,751 --> 00:44:13,043 Oh my God. 908 00:44:13,126 --> 00:44:15,376 -[Steph] Oh my God. -She loves it, you guys. You nailed it! 909 00:44:15,459 --> 00:44:17,959 -[cheerleaders cheer] -[laughs] 910 00:44:18,043 --> 00:44:20,001 -[Yaz] Oh my God! -Aw! 911 00:44:20,084 --> 00:44:23,626 [upbeat music plays and ends] 912 00:44:23,709 --> 00:44:25,168 Excuse me, Mr. Bud. 913 00:44:25,251 --> 00:44:26,543 Hey, what's up? 914 00:44:26,626 --> 00:44:28,543 Um, seeing as you're my librarian now, 915 00:44:28,626 --> 00:44:31,668 you're legally obligated to help me research something, yeah? 916 00:44:31,751 --> 00:44:32,584 Yeah, by law. 917 00:44:32,668 --> 00:44:36,334 Yeah, I think the teachers union's a real stickler about that sort of thing. 918 00:44:36,418 --> 00:44:39,251 I'm just kidding. I'm not in the union. What's up? 919 00:44:39,334 --> 00:44:41,876 -[Steph] Oh, this is addictive. -[Seth] Yeah. 920 00:44:41,959 --> 00:44:45,126 Social platforms have become a vital tool for communication. 921 00:44:45,209 --> 00:44:48,293 Look, it's a turtle humping a rock! 922 00:44:48,376 --> 00:44:49,709 -Yeah. -Oh, get it. Get it. 923 00:44:49,793 --> 00:44:51,459 Yeah, oh, that gets a heart. 924 00:44:51,543 --> 00:44:52,959 -[phone chimes] -And it's also that. 925 00:44:53,043 --> 00:44:55,834 Okay. All right. I think I've worked this thing out. 926 00:44:55,918 --> 00:44:56,751 Okay. 927 00:44:56,834 --> 00:44:59,501 So, basically you get followers by being somebody everybody likes. 928 00:44:59,584 --> 00:45:00,418 Mm-hmm. 929 00:45:00,501 --> 00:45:03,709 So it's a popularity contest, but instead of just high school, 930 00:45:03,793 --> 00:45:06,793 it's now the whole world, and the whole world is your phone. 931 00:45:06,876 --> 00:45:08,751 Yeah. I mean, that's exactly it. 932 00:45:08,834 --> 00:45:10,584 -That's it. -Yeah, it's pretty sad. 933 00:45:10,668 --> 00:45:14,293 No! This is, like, amazing. This is like a shortcut. 934 00:45:14,376 --> 00:45:17,543 Wow, I immediately regret showing you this. 935 00:45:17,626 --> 00:45:19,793 Just to be clear, this is a way for people to pretend 936 00:45:19,876 --> 00:45:22,043 their life and skin texture is better than it is. 937 00:45:22,126 --> 00:45:25,751 Is that why you've posted this picture of you with this random hot chick? 938 00:45:25,834 --> 00:45:28,668 No, that's my ex-fiancée Diana. 939 00:45:28,751 --> 00:45:30,501 -You were engaged? -I was. 940 00:45:30,584 --> 00:45:33,168 -Shut up! Seth. - [chuckles] Uh-huh. 941 00:45:33,251 --> 00:45:35,084 That's actually how I ended up here. 942 00:45:35,168 --> 00:45:37,959 We both were working at the National Archives in DC, 943 00:45:38,043 --> 00:45:40,376 and when we split up, I needed a change. 944 00:45:40,459 --> 00:45:43,001 So Martha got me a job at Harding, and here I am. 945 00:45:43,084 --> 00:45:45,626 Trust me, being close to 40 and back at my high school 946 00:45:45,709 --> 00:45:47,251 isn't exactly where I wanted to be, but… 947 00:45:47,334 --> 00:45:50,126 -Oh. [laughs] Tell me about it! -[laughs] Yeah, right! 948 00:45:50,209 --> 00:45:53,501 Uh, well, I should get back to enriching young minds. 949 00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:55,334 Just kidding. I'm covering a drama class. 950 00:45:55,418 --> 00:45:56,668 -I'll see you later. -Okay. 951 00:45:56,751 --> 00:45:58,751 -[Seth] All right. Oh! -Bye! 952 00:46:02,043 --> 00:46:04,209 Need that back. Yeah, thanks, Steph. 953 00:46:04,293 --> 00:46:05,293 [Steph hums] 954 00:46:05,376 --> 00:46:06,543 Please, Dad! 955 00:46:07,084 --> 00:46:09,376 Phones are like the new Tamagotchis. 956 00:46:09,459 --> 00:46:13,918 Okay? I need one, and I promise you, I will not go over the minutes. 957 00:46:14,001 --> 00:46:17,834 Really, it's for my own personal safety, 'cause what happens if I get kidnapped? 958 00:46:17,918 --> 00:46:21,293 I think if you get kidnapped, Stephanie, they'll probably take your phone. 959 00:46:21,376 --> 00:46:23,959 Not if I'd hidden it up my… [clicks tongue] 960 00:46:24,043 --> 00:46:27,459 Well, just to be safe, it's probably a good thing. 961 00:46:28,084 --> 00:46:29,209 I got you this. 962 00:46:30,876 --> 00:46:32,959 [gasps] Oh my God. 963 00:46:34,751 --> 00:46:36,793 [angelic music plays] 964 00:46:37,376 --> 00:46:38,293 Dad… 965 00:46:39,751 --> 00:46:41,418 -Thank you! -You're welcome. 966 00:46:41,501 --> 00:46:43,418 Oh, you're the best dad! 967 00:46:43,501 --> 00:46:45,501 -[Jim chuckles] -[Steph groans] 968 00:46:46,043 --> 00:46:48,543 Dad, I can't believe this! 969 00:46:49,376 --> 00:46:51,876 Hey, guys, uh, it's just me, Stephanie. 970 00:46:51,959 --> 00:46:54,376 -I'm just chilling at my crib. -[chimes] 971 00:46:54,459 --> 00:46:56,126 I don't even know how to do this. 972 00:46:56,209 --> 00:47:00,918 I was just thinking that we should bring prom queen back to Harding High. 973 00:47:01,001 --> 00:47:02,418 -#AwesomeIdea. -[chimes] 974 00:47:02,501 --> 00:47:04,251 -#Yes. -[chimes] 975 00:47:04,334 --> 00:47:07,251 -Spread it around. Let's make it a virus. -[chiming] 976 00:47:07,334 --> 00:47:08,584 That's… that's cute. 977 00:47:08,668 --> 00:47:10,834 [Martha over PA] Remember to vote for this year's prom theme. 978 00:47:10,918 --> 00:47:13,334 The choices are A, Bridgerton, 979 00:47:13,418 --> 00:47:14,918 B, pride, 980 00:47:15,001 --> 00:47:18,793 and a last-minute write-in submission by Stephanie Conway, C, 981 00:47:18,876 --> 00:47:20,793 The Real World: New Orleans. 982 00:47:21,376 --> 00:47:23,668 -Democracy works only if you vote! -What? 983 00:47:23,751 --> 00:47:26,459 -[gasps] Stop, stop, stop. -[Martha] Love you all! 984 00:47:26,543 --> 00:47:28,209 -[Bri] Oh my God. -Are you going over there? 985 00:47:28,293 --> 00:47:29,334 -Okay. -[Lance] So fire. 986 00:47:29,418 --> 00:47:31,668 [Bri] Let's wait until the party to tell everyone. 987 00:47:31,751 --> 00:47:34,584 Oh my God, is there a party happening? Whoo! 988 00:47:34,668 --> 00:47:37,668 Oh. Hi, Stephanie. What's up? 989 00:47:37,751 --> 00:47:41,001 I just came to say we're, like, cool. 990 00:47:41,084 --> 00:47:43,834 Okay? Even after the other day when you, like, said I was old and shit. 991 00:47:43,918 --> 00:47:46,126 Oh, did you think that was mean? 992 00:47:46,209 --> 00:47:47,501 I am so sorry. 993 00:47:47,584 --> 00:47:48,834 I was just shedding light 994 00:47:48,918 --> 00:47:50,876 on an often overlooked discrimination issue. 995 00:47:50,959 --> 00:47:52,251 [Steph] Look, okay, I get. 996 00:47:52,334 --> 00:47:55,584 Queen bee feels very threatened by the hot new girl 997 00:47:55,668 --> 00:47:57,501 and decides to go on the offensive. 998 00:47:57,584 --> 00:48:00,418 Classic Sandy/Rizzo. It was the same way with your mum. 999 00:48:00,501 --> 00:48:03,293 I am not my mom. I'm nothing like her. 1000 00:48:03,376 --> 00:48:06,793 So whatever went on between you two has nothing to do with me. 1001 00:48:06,876 --> 00:48:11,084 Awesome. Okay, so now that we're friends, can you follow me on Insta? 1002 00:48:11,168 --> 00:48:16,709 I'm "A" with this little circle around it hot coma girl 113. 1003 00:48:16,793 --> 00:48:19,626 Who knew? There's 112 other hot coma girls. 1004 00:48:19,709 --> 00:48:23,168 Mm-hmm. Okay, so I get this request a lot. 1005 00:48:23,251 --> 00:48:25,459 Um, I limit my follows, 1006 00:48:25,543 --> 00:48:28,126 'cause if I follow one person, another might get mad, 1007 00:48:28,209 --> 00:48:31,209 so it's a sacrifice I make for everyone's mental health. 1008 00:48:31,293 --> 00:48:33,334 Um, but good luck getting followers. 1009 00:48:33,418 --> 00:48:36,084 Okay. [splutters] Well, wait, can you follow me? 1010 00:48:36,793 --> 00:48:38,709 Can I follow her on Instagram? 1011 00:48:38,793 --> 00:48:39,626 No. 1012 00:48:40,126 --> 00:48:41,001 I can't. 1013 00:48:41,084 --> 00:48:42,626 Sorry. [chuckles] 1014 00:48:45,293 --> 00:48:47,293 [sultry music plays] 1015 00:48:53,334 --> 00:48:54,709 Hey, Steph. 1016 00:48:54,793 --> 00:48:57,459 -Holy shit. Mmm. -Um, I'm doing a makeup tutorial. 1017 00:48:57,543 --> 00:48:59,543 For who? Batman villains? 1018 00:48:59,626 --> 00:49:01,751 I'm just really needing some new followers. 1019 00:49:01,834 --> 00:49:04,501 You don't realize how many people don't care about you 1020 00:49:04,584 --> 00:49:06,459 until you see it as a number on your phone. 1021 00:49:06,543 --> 00:49:10,209 Okay. Well, if you get tired of being an influencer, 1022 00:49:10,293 --> 00:49:13,751 the Natural History Museum is showing Deep Impact on their IMAX all week. 1023 00:49:13,834 --> 00:49:15,543 So, maybe we could go this weekend? 1024 00:49:15,626 --> 00:49:17,668 Deep Impact again? 1025 00:49:17,751 --> 00:49:21,584 Oh my God. You, me, and Martha just watched that a couple weekends ago. 1026 00:49:22,918 --> 00:49:26,293 Oh no, actually, I think you're thinking of 1,000 weekends ago. 1027 00:49:27,501 --> 00:49:29,459 Oh. Right. 1028 00:49:29,543 --> 00:49:33,334 Mm. Okay, I would go, but I've got a party this weekend. 1029 00:49:33,418 --> 00:49:36,918 Oh, cool. Uh, you know, what night? I'm completely free. 1030 00:49:37,001 --> 00:49:40,543 I don't actually know yet, so I'm just keeping my schedule open. 1031 00:49:40,626 --> 00:49:42,709 [inhales] Right. 1032 00:49:43,251 --> 00:49:44,293 Just to be clear, 1033 00:49:44,376 --> 00:49:46,751 you're saying no to attend a party you haven't been invited to 1034 00:49:46,834 --> 00:49:48,501 and don't know when or where it's happening? 1035 00:49:48,584 --> 00:49:51,334 Yeah. Okay, I gotta get back to my contouring. 1036 00:49:52,501 --> 00:49:53,959 [chuckles] 1037 00:49:54,043 --> 00:49:54,918 All right. 1038 00:49:58,334 --> 00:49:59,751 So hot. 1039 00:49:59,834 --> 00:50:02,459 I mean, even just an hour a night, that would be amazing. 1040 00:50:02,543 --> 00:50:04,043 -I can make that happen. -Yeah. 1041 00:50:04,126 --> 00:50:04,959 Okay. 1042 00:50:06,918 --> 00:50:07,876 What's going on? 1043 00:50:07,959 --> 00:50:08,876 [sighs] 1044 00:50:08,959 --> 00:50:12,584 Why are you guys acting sus? What? Don't say… 1045 00:50:13,334 --> 00:50:16,959 Are you two together? Oh my God. I'm not calling you Mum! 1046 00:50:17,043 --> 00:50:20,334 Martha tells me you're already falling behind in your classes. 1047 00:50:20,418 --> 00:50:22,876 Are you doing crack cocaine? 1048 00:50:22,959 --> 00:50:24,209 No. 1049 00:50:24,293 --> 00:50:27,251 Dad, I'm just still adjusting. 1050 00:50:28,043 --> 00:50:30,876 I just found out there were eight more Fast and Furious movies. 1051 00:50:30,959 --> 00:50:34,418 I just wanna make sure that you're giving your schoolwork the attention it deserves. 1052 00:50:34,501 --> 00:50:36,668 Well, I've just been really busy 1053 00:50:36,751 --> 00:50:38,918 with super important stuff, like making friends. 1054 00:50:39,001 --> 00:50:41,543 -Well, good. I'm… That's great. -[Jim] Mm-hmm. 1055 00:50:41,626 --> 00:50:43,626 -But you can still do your homework. -Yep! 1056 00:50:43,709 --> 00:50:46,084 [Martha] You're smart, Steph, always have been. 1057 00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:48,668 I don't wanna see you use this second chance incorrectly. 1058 00:50:48,751 --> 00:50:51,501 Okay. Well, I've got the solution for this. 1059 00:50:51,584 --> 00:50:52,959 No phone for the weekend. 1060 00:50:53,043 --> 00:50:54,543 -What? -[Jim] Mm-hmm. 1061 00:50:55,584 --> 00:50:57,418 Dad, no. How else will I live? 1062 00:50:57,501 --> 00:51:00,043 You survived 20 years without solid food. 1063 00:51:00,126 --> 00:51:02,251 You can go for a weekend without your iPhone, hon. 1064 00:51:02,334 --> 00:51:03,751 -No! -[Jim] Hand it over. 1065 00:51:03,834 --> 00:51:06,126 -Are you being serious? -[Jim] Yes. I am being very-- 1066 00:51:06,209 --> 00:51:08,084 Are you being full serious right now? 1067 00:51:08,168 --> 00:51:10,043 -[Jim] Full serious. -Are you from Syria? 1068 00:51:10,126 --> 00:51:11,168 I'm very serious. 1069 00:51:11,251 --> 00:51:12,501 [screams] No! 1070 00:51:13,918 --> 00:51:14,918 No! 1071 00:51:15,001 --> 00:51:17,543 -Hand me the phone. -Here, have it, then. Have it. 1072 00:51:18,418 --> 00:51:19,251 It's a remote. 1073 00:51:19,334 --> 00:51:22,001 -[groans loudly] No! -Uh… 1074 00:51:22,084 --> 00:51:25,334 -Get off the door frame, honey. -No! It's my phone! 1075 00:51:25,418 --> 00:51:26,584 Give him the phone. 1076 00:51:26,668 --> 00:51:27,751 No… 1077 00:51:30,168 --> 00:51:32,709 [Martha moans and sighs] 1078 00:51:32,793 --> 00:51:34,751 Thanks a lot, Principal Martha. 1079 00:51:35,251 --> 00:51:37,834 Oh my God, Lance and Bri look so hot. 1080 00:51:37,918 --> 00:51:40,501 What the slut? They're all there. 1081 00:51:40,584 --> 00:51:42,459 Can I… can I have my phone back now? 1082 00:51:42,543 --> 00:51:44,251 Oh my God. 1083 00:51:44,334 --> 00:51:46,668 Guys, what kind of psycho world is this 1084 00:51:46,751 --> 00:51:49,751 where the cheerleaders don't get invited to a party? Hello! 1085 00:51:49,834 --> 00:51:51,876 Are they stupid? We are the party! 1086 00:51:51,959 --> 00:51:53,709 Babe, of course we weren't invited. 1087 00:51:53,793 --> 00:51:55,459 -It's DM VIP. -Yeah. 1088 00:51:55,543 --> 00:51:57,626 You only get to go to them if they follow you. 1089 00:51:57,709 --> 00:51:58,959 Only the hot, cool people. 1090 00:51:59,043 --> 00:52:01,543 -Yeah. -Well, yeah, but we are hot and cool. 1091 00:52:01,626 --> 00:52:02,959 -Thank you. -[Janet] Um, 1092 00:52:03,043 --> 00:52:05,501 four years of not getting invited to those parties, 1093 00:52:05,584 --> 00:52:08,459 the message gets, like, very clear. [chuckles] We're not. 1094 00:52:09,168 --> 00:52:12,834 This is kind of like a party. I can have my dad pop in a Di. 1095 00:52:14,959 --> 00:52:16,084 It means "DiGiorno." 1096 00:52:16,168 --> 00:52:18,876 -Oh, oh, oh. -No, I'm talking about a "party" party. 1097 00:52:18,959 --> 00:52:22,584 I can't have video record of me partying. The media's gonna use it to try 1098 00:52:22,668 --> 00:52:25,876 and discredit me when I run for office, like they did with AOC. 1099 00:52:25,959 --> 00:52:26,793 No. 1100 00:52:27,584 --> 00:52:31,668 Okay, guys, you need to listen up, all right? This is now serious. 1101 00:52:31,751 --> 00:52:33,626 [inhales and exhales] 1102 00:52:33,709 --> 00:52:37,293 We need to dance because we need to show everybody 1103 00:52:37,376 --> 00:52:38,709 that we are the cool ones. 1104 00:52:38,793 --> 00:52:42,751 Guys, when I was in high school, all the popular kids treated me like shit 1105 00:52:42,834 --> 00:52:44,626 until I showed them how cool I was, 1106 00:52:44,709 --> 00:52:48,751 which is so cool that the most popular girl in high school, 1107 00:52:48,834 --> 00:52:51,501 her boyfriend dumped her for me. 1108 00:52:52,334 --> 00:52:54,459 -And you know who that was? -Who? 1109 00:52:55,376 --> 00:52:57,084 -Bri's mom. -[both] Tiffany? 1110 00:52:58,126 --> 00:52:59,126 And that guy, 1111 00:53:00,501 --> 00:53:01,334 Bri's dad. 1112 00:53:01,418 --> 00:53:03,334 ♪ Oh my God ♪ 1113 00:53:03,418 --> 00:53:04,834 [gasps] What? 1114 00:53:04,918 --> 00:53:10,043 And once you've blown someone's dad, you realize they're not that scary. 1115 00:53:10,126 --> 00:53:11,251 -Hmm. -Good to know. 1116 00:53:11,334 --> 00:53:12,459 Yeah, I mean… 1117 00:53:12,543 --> 00:53:16,918 So, everybody, watch and learn. 1118 00:53:17,001 --> 00:53:17,959 -Let's dance. -Okay. 1119 00:53:18,043 --> 00:53:20,584 Okay, can you hit play? Yeah, nice fingering. 1120 00:53:20,668 --> 00:53:23,043 ["U Drive Me Crazy" (The Stop Remix!) by Britney Spears plays] 1121 00:53:23,126 --> 00:53:24,668 ♪ Crazy ♪ 1122 00:53:25,209 --> 00:53:29,543 ♪ Baby, I'm so into you ♪ 1123 00:53:30,209 --> 00:53:34,293 ♪ You got that something What can I do? ♪ 1124 00:53:34,876 --> 00:53:39,084 ♪ Baby, you spin me around ♪ 1125 00:53:39,168 --> 00:53:41,543 -Yeah. Okay, get into it, guys. -♪ The earth is moving ♪ 1126 00:53:41,626 --> 00:53:43,834 -♪ But I can't feel the ground ♪ -Like, hips, shoulders. 1127 00:53:44,459 --> 00:53:48,709 ♪ Every time you look at me ♪ 1128 00:53:49,293 --> 00:53:51,084 ♪ My heart is jumping ♪ 1129 00:53:51,168 --> 00:53:52,918 ♪ It's easy to see ♪ 1130 00:53:53,001 --> 00:53:55,668 ♪ You drive me crazy ♪ 1131 00:53:55,751 --> 00:53:57,709 ♪ I just can't sleep ♪ 1132 00:53:58,501 --> 00:54:00,418 ♪ I'm so excited ♪ 1133 00:54:00,501 --> 00:54:02,209 ♪ I'm in too deep ♪ 1134 00:54:02,293 --> 00:54:05,043 ♪ Whoa, oh, oh, crazy ♪ 1135 00:54:05,126 --> 00:54:07,543 ♪ But it feels all right ♪ 1136 00:54:08,251 --> 00:54:12,001 ♪ Baby, thinking of you Keeps me up all night ♪ 1137 00:54:14,459 --> 00:54:15,293 ♪ Oh ♪ 1138 00:54:16,584 --> 00:54:18,501 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 1139 00:54:19,543 --> 00:54:21,793 ♪ You drive me crazy ♪ 1140 00:54:21,876 --> 00:54:24,251 -♪ Oh ♪ -Sing it! 1141 00:54:24,334 --> 00:54:27,168 -♪ Oh, crazy ♪ -Yeah! 1142 00:54:27,751 --> 00:54:29,209 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1143 00:54:29,709 --> 00:54:33,376 ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 1144 00:54:33,459 --> 00:54:36,668 -Stop! -[music stops] 1145 00:54:39,126 --> 00:54:43,668 -[music starts] -♪ Ooh, oh, yeah ♪ 1146 00:54:44,251 --> 00:54:48,543 ♪ You drive me crazy, baby ♪ 1147 00:54:48,626 --> 00:54:52,251 ♪ Get excited, I'm in too deep ♪ 1148 00:54:52,334 --> 00:54:53,793 ♪ Oh ♪ 1149 00:54:53,876 --> 00:54:58,168 ♪ Oh my, it feels all right ♪ 1150 00:54:58,251 --> 00:55:02,209 ♪ Baby, thinking of you Keeps me up all night ♪ 1151 00:55:03,293 --> 00:55:06,001 All right, guys, we have a show to put on. 1152 00:55:06,084 --> 00:55:07,751 [chuckles and pants] 1153 00:55:07,834 --> 00:55:09,334 Please don't blow my dad. 1154 00:55:12,418 --> 00:55:15,459 Now, don't worry. I've spoken with the school nurse, 1155 00:55:15,543 --> 00:55:17,876 and with less than three weeks until graduation, 1156 00:55:17,959 --> 00:55:22,043 we are prepared for an epidemic of senioritis. 1157 00:55:22,126 --> 00:55:24,709 -[crowd laughs sarcastically] -[Blaine clears throat] 1158 00:55:24,793 --> 00:55:26,376 [speaks through cough] Freshmen suck. 1159 00:55:27,168 --> 00:55:31,043 Um, okay. So without further ado, please join me in welcoming 1160 00:55:31,126 --> 00:55:34,709 the president of the Harding High PTA, Tiffany Balbo. 1161 00:55:36,168 --> 00:55:38,168 -[upbeat music plays] -[crowd applauds] 1162 00:55:42,376 --> 00:55:43,543 Hi! 1163 00:55:44,126 --> 00:55:45,168 [Tiffany] Thank you. 1164 00:55:45,251 --> 00:55:48,001 And I know she's the principal, boo. 1165 00:55:48,084 --> 00:55:49,043 [laughs] Boo. 1166 00:55:49,126 --> 00:55:52,918 -But give it up for Miss Riser, everyone. -[crowd boos] 1167 00:55:53,001 --> 00:55:55,043 -Stop it. -[laughs] Sorry. Sorry. 1168 00:55:55,126 --> 00:55:59,418 Okay. What a special evening we get to share with our kids 1169 00:55:59,501 --> 00:56:01,959 before they go off to adulthood. 1170 00:56:02,043 --> 00:56:04,918 Okay, guys, the energy in this place is sucking wiens. 1171 00:56:05,001 --> 00:56:06,876 We need to get out there and rock their worlds. 1172 00:56:06,959 --> 00:56:08,001 Oh, and here's this. 1173 00:56:08,084 --> 00:56:09,334 Huh? 1174 00:56:09,418 --> 00:56:11,126 -It's the music for the routine. -Oh, yes. 1175 00:56:11,209 --> 00:56:14,251 Thank you for the computer tampon. Shove that where that goes. 1176 00:56:14,334 --> 00:56:16,043 Really, guys, you're the bomb diggity. 1177 00:56:16,126 --> 00:56:17,334 -All of you. -[all] Aw! 1178 00:56:17,418 --> 00:56:20,209 I love you, and we're gonna crush the sluts and-- 1179 00:56:20,293 --> 00:56:24,126 Oh, it's the big finale, you guys. It's the big finale! 1180 00:56:24,209 --> 00:56:25,668 I'm so proud of you. 1181 00:56:25,751 --> 00:56:28,043 You pumped to go out there and change some minds? 1182 00:56:28,126 --> 00:56:29,001 [all agreeing] 1183 00:56:29,084 --> 00:56:31,959 And just remember, this is all I have. 1184 00:56:32,043 --> 00:56:34,001 [Tiffany speaks indistinctly] 1185 00:56:34,834 --> 00:56:35,834 [Martha sighs] 1186 00:56:36,876 --> 00:56:39,876 And real quick, due to the custom table-scapes, 1187 00:56:39,959 --> 00:56:43,834 the prom ticket prices have gone from $48 to $93. 1188 00:56:43,918 --> 00:56:46,376 -We take Venmo and PayPal and Zelle. -[crowd grumbles] 1189 00:56:46,459 --> 00:56:47,709 Thank you so much! 1190 00:56:47,793 --> 00:56:48,709 [crowd applauds] 1191 00:56:48,793 --> 00:56:49,793 [whistles] 1192 00:56:51,001 --> 00:56:52,376 Yeah! 1193 00:56:52,459 --> 00:56:54,334 Okay. Thank you, parents. 1194 00:56:54,418 --> 00:56:55,959 Speaking of prom, 1195 00:56:56,043 --> 00:56:59,709 making good choices is at the forefront of every school function, 1196 00:56:59,793 --> 00:57:03,626 so to help us illustrate that, please welcome our radical Bulldogettes. 1197 00:57:03,709 --> 00:57:05,709 [crowd cheers] 1198 00:57:12,084 --> 00:57:13,751 -Ready? -[cheerleaders] Consent! 1199 00:57:13,834 --> 00:57:17,751 ♪ C, O, N, S, E, N, T ♪ 1200 00:57:17,834 --> 00:57:21,501 ♪ I don't touch you And you don't touch me ♪ 1201 00:57:21,584 --> 00:57:23,751 ♪ Unless we both fully agree ♪ 1202 00:57:23,834 --> 00:57:24,668 ♪ Consent ♪ 1203 00:57:24,751 --> 00:57:26,543 Yeah! 1204 00:57:27,084 --> 00:57:30,501 [girl] Let's go! Let's hear it for consent! 1205 00:57:30,584 --> 00:57:32,168 ["Strike It Up" by Black Box plays] 1206 00:57:32,251 --> 00:57:33,543 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1207 00:57:33,626 --> 00:57:34,709 ♪ Strike it up ♪ 1208 00:57:36,043 --> 00:57:37,126 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1209 00:57:38,293 --> 00:57:40,959 -♪ No, no, no, no ♪ -♪ Yeah ♪ 1210 00:57:41,043 --> 00:57:42,209 ♪ Strike it up ♪ 1211 00:57:42,293 --> 00:57:43,793 ♪ No ♪ 1212 00:57:44,334 --> 00:57:45,834 ♪ No means no ♪ 1213 00:57:48,959 --> 00:57:50,751 Are you ready for the remix? 1214 00:57:51,334 --> 00:57:52,376 ♪ One ♪ 1215 00:57:52,459 --> 00:57:54,584 ♪ I can't help I was born like this ♪ 1216 00:57:54,668 --> 00:57:56,334 ♪ Ain't my fault that you want my drip ♪ 1217 00:57:56,418 --> 00:57:58,418 ♪ Little bitter bitch Could have been my friend ♪ 1218 00:57:58,501 --> 00:58:00,626 ♪ Now you gotta listen While I pop my shit ♪ 1219 00:58:00,709 --> 00:58:02,793 ♪ Fast, I'm coming in fast ♪ 1220 00:58:02,876 --> 00:58:04,501 ♪ First place, you coming in last ♪ 1221 00:58:04,584 --> 00:58:06,918 ♪ I'm hitting that, hitting that gas ♪ 1222 00:58:07,001 --> 00:58:08,834 ♪ I'm hitting that, hitting that ♪ 1223 00:58:08,918 --> 00:58:10,626 ♪ Locomotion ♪ 1224 00:58:10,709 --> 00:58:12,793 ♪ We causing a commotion ♪ 1225 00:58:12,876 --> 00:58:16,918 ♪ I put it in, I put it in I put it in motion ♪ 1226 00:58:17,001 --> 00:58:19,418 ♪ I put it in, I put it in ♪ 1227 00:58:19,501 --> 00:58:21,168 -♪ I put it in motion ♪ -Oh my God. 1228 00:58:21,251 --> 00:58:22,876 ♪ My back is aching, my bra too tight ♪ 1229 00:58:22,959 --> 00:58:25,293 ♪ You mad as hell that I shine so bright ♪ 1230 00:58:25,376 --> 00:58:27,209 ♪ My back is aching, my bra too tight ♪ 1231 00:58:27,293 --> 00:58:29,418 ♪ Ass jiggling, I know that's right ♪ 1232 00:58:29,501 --> 00:58:33,459 ♪ Cah, ah, ah, ah, ah, consent ♪ 1233 00:58:35,043 --> 00:58:38,626 -Did they just touch their-- -Just shut up. Shut up. 1234 00:58:38,709 --> 00:58:39,876 Yeah! 1235 00:58:39,959 --> 00:58:40,918 [crowd applauds] 1236 00:58:41,001 --> 00:58:44,084 Bulldogs, fuck yeah! Yeah! Whoo! 1237 00:58:44,168 --> 00:58:47,709 -You are a father. -They brought it back. I am a father. 1238 00:58:48,501 --> 00:58:49,334 Ooh. 1239 00:58:51,376 --> 00:58:52,459 [moans] 1240 00:58:55,209 --> 00:58:57,543 -Damn, Conway! -Oh! 1241 00:58:58,126 --> 00:59:00,543 -Blaine! Oh my God! Oh my God. -Whoo! 1242 00:59:00,626 --> 00:59:02,001 Watching you up there. 1243 00:59:02,084 --> 00:59:03,834 -Shut up. -No, it's true! 1244 00:59:03,918 --> 00:59:05,793 -Shut up! Look at you! -Yeah? 1245 00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,168 Look at you now. You're such a-- 1246 00:59:07,251 --> 00:59:09,668 I'm a DILF. I know. Who would've thought? 1247 00:59:09,751 --> 00:59:10,959 -[Steph] Hmm. -Hmm. 1248 00:59:11,043 --> 00:59:13,668 Oh, and I wanted to say I thought it was so cool 1249 00:59:13,751 --> 00:59:16,459 that I was one of the first places you stopped when you woke up. 1250 00:59:16,543 --> 00:59:19,751 I can't tell you how many times I've thought of you over the past years. 1251 00:59:19,834 --> 00:59:20,876 -Yeah? -Yeah. 1252 00:59:22,168 --> 00:59:23,959 Well, even though I was pretty much brain-dead, 1253 00:59:24,043 --> 00:59:25,918 you were the one that kept my heart beating. 1254 00:59:26,001 --> 00:59:29,376 Well, listen, I'll just say, you let me know 1255 00:59:29,459 --> 00:59:32,543 if you ever want to take another trip down memory Blaine. 1256 00:59:32,626 --> 00:59:34,959 -Yeah, but, Blaine, what about Tiff? -Eh. 1257 00:59:35,543 --> 00:59:37,209 Didn't stop us the first time. [chuckles] 1258 00:59:38,126 --> 00:59:40,168 What? You said you two were broken up. 1259 00:59:40,251 --> 00:59:42,418 It's, uh… You know, I don't… 1260 00:59:43,668 --> 00:59:45,043 [mumbles] 1261 00:59:45,126 --> 00:59:46,251 -[Steph] What? -I was joking. 1262 00:59:46,334 --> 00:59:49,251 I haven't forgotten about your whole "no cheating" rule. 1263 00:59:49,334 --> 00:59:52,084 Yeah, which is why we can't be together. 1264 00:59:53,376 --> 00:59:54,209 Yet. 1265 00:59:55,459 --> 00:59:57,334 But if you're the man that I think you are… 1266 00:59:59,626 --> 01:00:01,501 I'm sure you'll make the right choice. 1267 01:00:01,584 --> 01:00:03,001 Yeah. No, I… 1268 01:00:04,084 --> 01:00:05,001 [Steph] Oh, sh… 1269 01:00:06,418 --> 01:00:07,376 [Blaine] Hmm. 1270 01:00:14,459 --> 01:00:15,293 Conway. 1271 01:00:15,376 --> 01:00:17,668 ["Man! I Feel Like a Woman" by Shania Twain plays] 1272 01:00:17,751 --> 01:00:18,626 ♪ Let's go, girls ♪ 1273 01:00:22,084 --> 01:00:22,918 ♪ Come on ♪ 1274 01:00:23,543 --> 01:00:24,501 [cell phone chimes] 1275 01:00:26,043 --> 01:00:27,876 ♪ I'm going out tonight ♪ 1276 01:00:27,959 --> 01:00:30,043 ♪ I'm feelin' all right ♪ 1277 01:00:30,126 --> 01:00:34,043 -[chiming] -♪ Gonna let it all hang out ♪ 1278 01:00:34,126 --> 01:00:37,918 ♪ Wanna make some noise Really raise my voice ♪ 1279 01:00:38,001 --> 01:00:41,834 ♪ Yeah, I wanna scream and shout ♪ 1280 01:00:41,918 --> 01:00:44,543 [Jim] Stephanie, can you come down here, please? 1281 01:00:44,626 --> 01:00:45,584 [groans] 1282 01:00:45,668 --> 01:00:47,168 ♪ No inhibitions ♪ 1283 01:00:47,251 --> 01:00:49,543 ♪ Make no conditions… ♪ 1284 01:00:50,126 --> 01:00:53,543 "Stephanie, we support Instagram stars like you 1285 01:00:53,626 --> 01:00:56,209 who share Hostess' commitment to never growing old." 1286 01:00:56,293 --> 01:00:58,084 ♪ I only wanna have… ♪ 1287 01:00:58,168 --> 01:01:01,543 "Warmest wishes from your friends at Canada Goose." That is sick! 1288 01:01:02,376 --> 01:01:03,418 "Let's be buds." 1289 01:01:04,126 --> 01:01:06,126 Holy shit. 1290 01:01:06,209 --> 01:01:08,709 ♪ Is the prerogative To have a little fun and ♪ 1291 01:01:09,293 --> 01:01:12,418 ♪ Oh-oh-oh, go totally crazy ♪ 1292 01:01:12,501 --> 01:01:14,918 ♪ Forget I'm a lady ♪ 1293 01:01:15,001 --> 01:01:17,168 ♪ Men's shirts, short skirts ♪ 1294 01:01:17,251 --> 01:01:19,376 ♪ Oh-oh-oh, really go wild ♪ 1295 01:01:19,459 --> 01:01:22,834 ♪ Yeah, doin' it in style ♪ 1296 01:01:22,918 --> 01:01:25,459 ♪ Oh-oh-oh, I wanna be free ♪ 1297 01:01:25,543 --> 01:01:29,376 ♪ Yeah, to feel the way I feel ♪ 1298 01:01:29,876 --> 01:01:32,543 ♪ Man, I feel like a woman ♪ 1299 01:01:32,626 --> 01:01:35,584 I don't get what the big deal was. We were just dancing! 1300 01:01:35,668 --> 01:01:39,834 Steph, the big deal is that I told you that we don't do that anymore, 1301 01:01:39,918 --> 01:01:42,293 and you went and did it anyway behind my back. 1302 01:01:42,376 --> 01:01:45,043 Are you really mad? Or is this because Tiff yelled at you? 1303 01:01:45,126 --> 01:01:46,001 Oh, Steph! 1304 01:01:46,084 --> 01:01:48,668 You can't let her bully you, I've always said that. 1305 01:01:48,751 --> 01:01:50,293 It's not about Tiffany. 1306 01:01:50,376 --> 01:01:51,418 I care about this 1307 01:01:51,501 --> 01:01:54,876 because what you did up there, it wasn't school-appropriate. 1308 01:01:54,959 --> 01:01:56,043 You fondled yourself 1309 01:01:56,126 --> 01:01:59,209 for an unsuspecting audience in a routine about consent. 1310 01:01:59,293 --> 01:02:01,459 But I gave myself consent 1311 01:02:02,043 --> 01:02:03,626 to do that to myself. 1312 01:02:03,709 --> 01:02:05,501 Stop stroking your nipples. 1313 01:02:05,584 --> 01:02:07,334 Marth, what is going on here? 1314 01:02:07,418 --> 01:02:09,293 The cheerleaders aren't allowed to dance. 1315 01:02:09,376 --> 01:02:10,876 You took away prom queen. 1316 01:02:10,959 --> 01:02:13,876 You turned the cafeteria into a Hogwarts without the magic. 1317 01:02:13,959 --> 01:02:15,793 Are you trying to make this place suck wiens? 1318 01:02:15,876 --> 01:02:20,001 Number one, how dare you? It is like Hogwarts with the magic. 1319 01:02:20,584 --> 01:02:24,793 And number two, it doesn't suck wiens. It's nice. 1320 01:02:24,876 --> 01:02:26,834 It's… it's nice here. 1321 01:02:26,918 --> 01:02:29,876 -I had more fun in a coma. -You did not have more fun in the coma. 1322 01:02:29,959 --> 01:02:32,293 I had more fun going like this. 1323 01:02:32,376 --> 01:02:34,668 [snores] 1324 01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:35,709 [Martha] Stephanie. 1325 01:02:35,793 --> 01:02:38,376 That was way more fun than this high school. 1326 01:02:38,459 --> 01:02:43,209 Steph, this may come as a shock to you, but for most kids, high school sucks. 1327 01:02:43,293 --> 01:02:46,959 I don't know why you're acting like we didn't have the same experience. 1328 01:02:47,043 --> 01:02:48,626 High school was awesome! 1329 01:02:48,709 --> 01:02:53,168 Freshman year, you bailed on Seth and I to go be some popular girl. 1330 01:02:53,251 --> 01:02:56,709 No, I didn't bail. I just got more friends 1331 01:02:56,793 --> 01:02:58,959 and a really hot boyfriend. 1332 01:02:59,043 --> 01:03:01,584 Seriously, if you'd had a boyfriend, you would have understood. 1333 01:03:01,668 --> 01:03:04,918 Stephanie, I wouldn't understand because I'm gay. 1334 01:03:05,001 --> 01:03:07,334 [gasps] Ooh, you can't say that word, unless you're saying it 1335 01:03:07,418 --> 01:03:10,751 in a neutral-positive way to refer to someone that is… 1336 01:03:13,293 --> 01:03:14,418 Mm-hmm. 1337 01:03:15,751 --> 01:03:16,626 Oh. 1338 01:03:17,709 --> 01:03:18,543 [Martha] Yeah. 1339 01:03:18,626 --> 01:03:23,251 And it… it made high school a living hell for me. 1340 01:03:25,043 --> 01:03:26,751 Back then, I felt very alone 1341 01:03:27,751 --> 01:03:32,418 and angry and so threatened 1342 01:03:32,501 --> 01:03:38,126 that if I showed one iota of my real self, then I would be ripped to shreds 1343 01:03:39,418 --> 01:03:43,084 by Tiffany or Blaine or you. 1344 01:03:43,668 --> 01:03:44,543 Me? 1345 01:03:45,793 --> 01:03:47,918 No way. Why would you even say that? 1346 01:03:48,001 --> 01:03:51,584 Because, Steph, sometimes I didn't know who you were. 1347 01:03:53,251 --> 01:03:54,876 Or… are. 1348 01:03:56,209 --> 01:03:57,334 Look, let's… 1349 01:03:57,418 --> 01:03:59,626 There's three weeks left of the school year. 1350 01:03:59,709 --> 01:04:03,043 So let's just get through those as peacefully as possible, 1351 01:04:03,126 --> 01:04:06,543 and then I can go to my family's lake house for the summer. 1352 01:04:09,001 --> 01:04:12,959 [teacher] The periodic table is made up of 119 elements. 1353 01:04:13,043 --> 01:04:16,709 Oh, hey, space nerds. JK, JK. 1354 01:04:16,793 --> 01:04:20,043 Any of you want to come see Deep Impact with me and Blaine this weekend? 1355 01:04:20,626 --> 01:04:23,334 As part of my collab with the Natural History Museum, 1356 01:04:23,418 --> 01:04:28,209 you will get 20% off ticket prices and complimentary space ice cream. 1357 01:04:28,293 --> 01:04:30,876 So come watch the end of the world with us. 1358 01:04:30,959 --> 01:04:33,709 [teacher] Remember it just for me. Please. 1359 01:04:33,793 --> 01:04:36,293 -[scanner beeps] -No one's gonna read you. 1360 01:04:38,293 --> 01:04:40,459 [chuckles] Oh boy, no one's gonna read you. 1361 01:04:41,209 --> 01:04:42,751 Are you talking to the books? 1362 01:04:43,251 --> 01:04:46,459 -Oh, yeah, I find it helps them grow. -Still a dork. 1363 01:04:46,543 --> 01:04:48,418 -Huh. -[Steph] So… 1364 01:04:48,501 --> 01:04:49,376 Uh, 1365 01:04:50,043 --> 01:04:53,084 do you, like, still wanna see Deep Impact? 1366 01:04:53,168 --> 01:04:54,251 [scanner beeps] 1367 01:04:54,834 --> 01:04:56,209 [Seth] I'm gonna get some popcorn. 1368 01:04:56,293 --> 01:05:00,918 Maybe some freeze-dried space ice cream. Maybe some Milk Duds, some Whoppers, 1369 01:05:01,001 --> 01:05:04,126 some Juicy Fruit. I gotta keep this girlish figure. 1370 01:05:04,209 --> 01:05:05,751 You want anything, or… 1371 01:05:05,834 --> 01:05:09,376 Um, oh, no, no, no, don't go just yet. Just hang here for one second. 1372 01:05:09,459 --> 01:05:10,418 Yeah, sure. 1373 01:05:10,501 --> 01:05:14,834 Oh my God, Seth, you're such a gentleman going to get the snacks. 1374 01:05:14,918 --> 01:05:17,751 Oh my God, I swear, you have such a massive dick. 1375 01:05:17,834 --> 01:05:20,876 -What did you say? -What? Oh, Blaine, Tiffany. 1376 01:05:20,959 --> 01:05:23,001 -Hi! -Hi! What are you doing here? 1377 01:05:23,084 --> 01:05:24,501 What a coincidence. 1378 01:05:24,584 --> 01:05:27,168 I'm, um, here on a date with Seth. 1379 01:05:27,251 --> 01:05:29,459 He asked me out, and I said, 1380 01:05:29,543 --> 01:05:33,001 "You know what? I am single and so horny, so yes." 1381 01:05:33,084 --> 01:05:34,918 -Isn't that right? -Yep. 1382 01:05:35,001 --> 01:05:35,876 Really? 1383 01:05:35,959 --> 01:05:38,251 Wait, I'm sorry. You are on a date with Sethany? 1384 01:05:38,334 --> 01:05:40,959 -Well, it's just Seth. -[Tiffany chuckles] 1385 01:05:41,043 --> 01:05:44,084 Relax. I'm just joking. [chuckles] 1386 01:05:44,168 --> 01:05:46,709 Well, yeah, we're just here to see a movie. 1387 01:05:46,793 --> 01:05:49,334 It's not like we're gonna have hot, consensual sex 1388 01:05:49,418 --> 01:05:50,626 when the lights go down. 1389 01:05:50,709 --> 01:05:53,376 [coughs] Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm? 1390 01:05:53,459 --> 01:05:55,084 Wow! Uh… 1391 01:05:55,168 --> 01:05:58,584 Wow, Seth, it only took 20 years and some brain damage, 1392 01:05:58,668 --> 01:06:01,418 but she finally agreed to go out with you. Way to go! 1393 01:06:02,126 --> 01:06:04,293 Again, just joking. [laughs] 1394 01:06:04,376 --> 01:06:06,376 [laughs sarcastically] 1395 01:06:06,459 --> 01:06:08,209 -[Steph] Hilarious. -Let's go find our seats. 1396 01:06:08,293 --> 01:06:10,376 -Huh? -Let's go find our seats. 1397 01:06:11,584 --> 01:06:14,501 -We gotta go find our seats. -Down in front, yep. 1398 01:06:14,584 --> 01:06:15,459 Yeah. 1399 01:06:16,168 --> 01:06:18,084 -Oh, yeah. [sucks teeth] -"Sethany." 1400 01:06:18,876 --> 01:06:21,001 [dramatic music plays] 1401 01:06:27,626 --> 01:06:29,251 [whispers] Feed me some popcorn. 1402 01:06:30,418 --> 01:06:31,793 Are you serious about that? 1403 01:06:32,584 --> 01:06:36,709 Yeah, just be awesome. Just… just toss some into my mouth. 1404 01:06:36,793 --> 01:06:37,668 All right. 1405 01:06:40,876 --> 01:06:42,751 [laughs] 1406 01:06:42,834 --> 01:06:43,834 [Steph] Seth! 1407 01:06:44,793 --> 01:06:47,876 Oh my God. It's stuck in my throat. Oh, I'm choking. 1408 01:06:47,959 --> 01:06:50,709 -No, I really… I just got a Milk Dud. -Did you actually choke on that? 1409 01:06:50,793 --> 01:06:53,001 Yeah, it's stuck right there, but it's all right. 1410 01:06:53,084 --> 01:06:54,918 I thought that was a euphemism kind of thing. 1411 01:06:55,001 --> 01:06:56,876 -Fire tether pitons. -Pitons fired. 1412 01:06:57,418 --> 01:06:59,168 [spaceship whooshes] 1413 01:06:59,251 --> 01:07:00,876 [straw creaks] 1414 01:07:02,751 --> 01:07:05,168 [moans] 1415 01:07:06,126 --> 01:07:09,918 [continues moaning] 1416 01:07:10,709 --> 01:07:12,584 -[whispers] Stop it. -[whispers] What? 1417 01:07:12,668 --> 01:07:15,876 You're eye-fucking Stephanie so hard, she'll need the morning-after pill. 1418 01:07:15,959 --> 01:07:18,043 [Blaine] I am not eye-fucking anybody. 1419 01:07:18,126 --> 01:07:21,959 It is embarrassing. Do you want me to call Dr. Wilbin for more therapy? 1420 01:07:22,043 --> 01:07:24,668 -Don't threaten me with a good time. -Shut up! 1421 01:07:24,751 --> 01:07:27,876 Bitch, turn your ugly face around and watch the movie. 1422 01:07:27,959 --> 01:07:29,876 [Blaine] Careful how you talk to senior citizens. 1423 01:07:29,959 --> 01:07:30,959 Shut up, Blaine. 1424 01:07:31,043 --> 01:07:33,668 Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to be quiet. 1425 01:07:33,751 --> 01:07:34,959 I am not the problem. 1426 01:07:35,043 --> 01:07:37,459 There is a freaking porno happening over there! 1427 01:07:38,043 --> 01:07:40,084 -What? -[Tiffany] Don't put that on my face. 1428 01:07:40,168 --> 01:07:42,334 It is not my fault. I am not doing anything. 1429 01:07:42,418 --> 01:07:45,584 Be quiet. I'm trying to watch the movie. 1430 01:07:45,668 --> 01:07:47,543 You're afraid you'll miss something? 1431 01:07:47,626 --> 01:07:49,001 The asteroid hits, 1432 01:07:49,084 --> 01:07:53,168 and Téa Leoni and her Austrian dad get hit by a ginormous wave. 1433 01:07:53,251 --> 01:07:54,459 -[crowd] Aw. -What? 1434 01:07:54,543 --> 01:07:57,418 Oh, come on! We all knew that! 1435 01:07:57,501 --> 01:07:59,126 Can you… [hisses] 1436 01:07:59,876 --> 01:08:00,876 -Sorry. -Ma'am? 1437 01:08:00,959 --> 01:08:02,084 I… 1438 01:08:02,168 --> 01:08:04,751 -Ma'am, come with me. -Okay, fine. Blaine? 1439 01:08:04,834 --> 01:08:06,751 What is the name of your manager? 1440 01:08:07,251 --> 01:08:10,459 Sir? I am going to have to email your manager. 1441 01:08:10,543 --> 01:08:13,584 [crowd applauding, cheers] 1442 01:08:16,001 --> 01:08:17,459 -[Seth laughs] -[Steph] Ah! 1443 01:08:17,543 --> 01:08:20,668 Two decades later, and I still love watching Tiff lose her mind. 1444 01:08:20,751 --> 01:08:24,459 -I mean, that was incredibly satisfying. -Mm-hmm. 1445 01:08:24,543 --> 01:08:25,668 Okay, now I understand 1446 01:08:25,751 --> 01:08:28,501 why you devoted so much of your time on it in high school. [laughs] 1447 01:08:28,584 --> 01:08:30,876 -Well, not the whole time. -Oh? 1448 01:08:30,959 --> 01:08:34,209 Just all of my junior, sophomore, and most of my senior year. 1449 01:08:34,293 --> 01:08:35,168 Mm. Mm-hmm. 1450 01:08:35,751 --> 01:08:38,459 Anyways, Marth told me something about you in high school. 1451 01:08:38,543 --> 01:08:40,626 Oh God. What? 1452 01:08:41,376 --> 01:08:44,209 She said that you had a crush on me. [chuckles] 1453 01:08:45,084 --> 01:08:45,918 Yes. 1454 01:08:46,543 --> 01:08:50,251 When we were in high school, I was very much in love with you. 1455 01:08:50,334 --> 01:08:51,543 Seth! 1456 01:08:51,626 --> 01:08:53,376 -Eh. -You were? Really? 1457 01:08:53,459 --> 01:08:55,959 -Eh. -Why didn't you ever say anything? 1458 01:08:56,043 --> 01:08:58,709 [hesitates] 'Cause, you know, we were friends. 1459 01:08:58,793 --> 01:09:00,418 -Yeah. -And you were with Blaine. 1460 01:09:00,501 --> 01:09:03,418 And, you know, we both know what your answer would've been. 1461 01:09:03,501 --> 01:09:07,251 Maybe, maybe not. We're hanging out right now, aren't we? 1462 01:09:07,334 --> 01:09:10,959 Yeah, but that's only because you thought you could use me to make Blaine jealous. 1463 01:09:11,918 --> 01:09:15,001 Steph, come on. I'm a full-blown adult. 1464 01:09:15,084 --> 01:09:17,918 I think I can recognize a teenage trick when I see one. 1465 01:09:18,001 --> 01:09:20,834 That's not what's going on. 1466 01:09:20,918 --> 01:09:24,543 Oh, come on, you used to pull this with me and Marth all the time in high school. 1467 01:09:24,626 --> 01:09:27,668 You'd use our attention to make the popular kids crave yours. 1468 01:09:27,751 --> 01:09:29,459 Um, did I? 1469 01:09:29,959 --> 01:09:30,793 Yes. 1470 01:09:30,876 --> 01:09:34,251 We always wondered if those kids ever got to really meet you. 1471 01:09:34,918 --> 01:09:35,876 Like, the real you. 1472 01:09:38,293 --> 01:09:40,918 Well, I did have a really fun time tonight. 1473 01:09:41,001 --> 01:09:41,834 [Seth chuckles] 1474 01:09:41,918 --> 01:09:43,251 I'm… I'm sorry. 1475 01:09:43,334 --> 01:09:44,334 No, forget it. 1476 01:09:44,918 --> 01:09:46,334 So should I take you home? 1477 01:09:47,084 --> 01:09:51,084 Or we could continue to hang out. I have an idea of where we could go. 1478 01:09:51,168 --> 01:09:53,084 [man coughs] 1479 01:09:54,043 --> 01:09:57,376 Whoa, okay. This place has changed. 1480 01:09:57,959 --> 01:09:59,834 Yeah, I think the lights are just on. 1481 01:10:00,834 --> 01:10:02,043 -[Steph] Come on. -[Seth] Okay. 1482 01:10:04,418 --> 01:10:06,084 Bri, baby, I need favor. 1483 01:10:09,334 --> 01:10:12,459 I want you to get prom king and queen reinstated. 1484 01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:14,751 What? 1485 01:10:15,793 --> 01:10:16,626 Mom. 1486 01:10:17,168 --> 01:10:18,834 No. No one cares about that. 1487 01:10:18,918 --> 01:10:19,876 I do. 1488 01:10:20,459 --> 01:10:23,793 I want you to beat Steph for prom queen. 1489 01:10:23,876 --> 01:10:26,793 You said it rewards archaic gender roles. 1490 01:10:26,876 --> 01:10:32,793 Well, exactly, which is why you need to be the woke prom queen. 1491 01:10:33,959 --> 01:10:36,084 I've already got interest from some brands, 1492 01:10:36,168 --> 01:10:37,751 and they are supes into it. 1493 01:10:37,834 --> 01:10:39,834 Mom. I'm not doing this. 1494 01:10:39,918 --> 01:10:43,209 And don't say "woke" or "supes." 1495 01:10:43,293 --> 01:10:44,959 [tense music plays] 1496 01:10:45,043 --> 01:10:46,584 Just beat Steph for mommy. 1497 01:10:47,334 --> 01:10:48,501 You owe me. 1498 01:10:48,584 --> 01:10:49,793 For what? 1499 01:10:51,501 --> 01:10:52,543 For being alive. 1500 01:10:52,626 --> 01:10:56,584 And if you wanna go on your trip to Nepal, you will do this for me. 1501 01:10:59,876 --> 01:11:01,501 [tense music ends] 1502 01:11:01,584 --> 01:11:03,418 -Can I ask you something? -Hmm? 1503 01:11:03,501 --> 01:11:06,209 Does it get exhausting trying to make everybody like you all the time? 1504 01:11:07,043 --> 01:11:07,918 Well, 1505 01:11:09,251 --> 01:11:11,376 it will be worth it when I win prom queen. 1506 01:11:11,459 --> 01:11:16,459 Well, what I remember about prom is that it was overhyped, 1507 01:11:17,209 --> 01:11:19,793 you weren't there, and it sucked. 1508 01:11:19,876 --> 01:11:23,084 -That's your memories of prom. That's it? -Yeah, pretty much. 1509 01:11:23,168 --> 01:11:25,376 Seth! Dude, come on. 1510 01:11:26,251 --> 01:11:29,334 Did you even try to have fun? Did you even try to tear it up on the dance floor? 1511 01:11:29,418 --> 01:11:32,126 -Just, like, give it the old groove? No! -Yeah! 1512 01:11:32,209 --> 01:11:35,459 It wouldn't have mattered, because prom doesn't matter, 1513 01:11:35,543 --> 01:11:37,501 especially not prom queen. 1514 01:11:38,043 --> 01:11:39,126 You maniac. 1515 01:11:39,209 --> 01:11:40,459 Come on, Steph. 1516 01:11:40,543 --> 01:11:44,126 You will yourself out of a coma, and that's what you care about? 1517 01:11:44,209 --> 01:11:46,709 -It's more than just a crown to me. -Hmm. 1518 01:11:47,668 --> 01:11:49,668 When I moved here to America, 1519 01:11:50,959 --> 01:11:52,001 it was so hard. 1520 01:11:52,084 --> 01:11:55,501 -Everyone made fun of me, as you remember. -Yeah. 1521 01:11:55,584 --> 01:11:57,126 And then Mum got sick. 1522 01:11:59,168 --> 01:12:02,418 And I was miserable. I was so miserable. 1523 01:12:02,501 --> 01:12:04,876 [sad music plays] 1524 01:12:04,959 --> 01:12:07,668 And you know what she used to say to help cheer me up? 1525 01:12:08,501 --> 01:12:13,959 She'd, like, say, "Steph, close your eyes and imagine your perfect life." 1526 01:12:14,876 --> 01:12:17,501 "And if you can imagine it, you can have it." 1527 01:12:18,043 --> 01:12:19,918 I was like… [scoffs] …"Shut up, Mom." 1528 01:12:21,209 --> 01:12:22,501 I didn't believe her. 1529 01:12:24,001 --> 01:12:25,168 Then she died. 1530 01:12:28,834 --> 01:12:30,918 [sobs] Then I was… 1531 01:12:31,418 --> 01:12:34,876 I didn't tell anyone, but I was… I was more miserable than ever. 1532 01:12:35,459 --> 01:12:36,334 [sniffles] 1533 01:12:37,793 --> 01:12:41,334 And then one day when we were driving and I saw Deanna Russo, 1534 01:12:41,418 --> 01:12:45,251 and I was like, "Whoa, she's happy." 1535 01:12:45,876 --> 01:12:47,293 And she was prom queen, 1536 01:12:48,043 --> 01:12:51,501 and I… I need to be her. Okay? 1537 01:12:52,293 --> 01:12:54,376 I wanted to be her so badly. 1538 01:12:55,584 --> 01:12:58,959 And I was getting there, and then all of a sudden, boom. [scoffs] 1539 01:12:59,959 --> 01:13:02,459 Coma. Lights out. 1540 01:13:04,001 --> 01:13:06,501 And I was bloody miserable again. 1541 01:13:08,126 --> 01:13:09,626 Then I thought, "Well… 1542 01:13:13,334 --> 01:13:16,668 I should see if I can prove my mum right." 1543 01:13:19,751 --> 01:13:20,834 [chuckles] 1544 01:13:20,918 --> 01:13:26,418 "I should… I should really try and get that perfect life," you know? 1545 01:13:26,959 --> 01:13:29,209 [emotional music plays] 1546 01:13:29,293 --> 01:13:32,334 Okay, definitely not just a crown. Sorry about that. I'm an asshole. 1547 01:13:32,918 --> 01:13:34,251 No, you're… [laughs] 1548 01:13:34,334 --> 01:13:36,626 -No, you're not. -[chuckles] All right. 1549 01:13:36,709 --> 01:13:40,376 -[Seth] Oh! -Oh! You did it. You got it! 1550 01:13:40,459 --> 01:13:41,793 Oh my God, okay. 1551 01:13:43,209 --> 01:13:45,751 -[cheering] -Yeah! 1552 01:13:45,834 --> 01:13:46,709 Woot, woot. 1553 01:13:47,293 --> 01:13:49,584 -Oh my God! -That's all yours. You can have that. 1554 01:13:49,668 --> 01:13:51,251 -[chuckles] -[toy squeaks] 1555 01:13:51,334 --> 01:13:54,626 ♪ Now it's time to take my place… ♪ 1556 01:13:54,709 --> 01:13:56,168 Do you wanna go to prom with me? 1557 01:13:57,043 --> 01:13:58,376 [chuckles] 1558 01:13:59,793 --> 01:14:01,626 I promise you, you'll have a good time. 1559 01:14:02,126 --> 01:14:06,834 Well, I already signed up to be a chaperone, so, yeah, I'll go. 1560 01:14:06,918 --> 01:14:07,751 -Yeah? -Uh-huh. 1561 01:14:08,334 --> 01:14:09,834 -Awesome! -[laughs] 1562 01:14:10,418 --> 01:14:11,918 -Great. -[laughs] Yeah. 1563 01:14:12,001 --> 01:14:13,126 Okay. All right. Wait. 1564 01:14:13,209 --> 01:14:15,168 -Let me try to win you something now. -Okay. Yeah. 1565 01:14:15,251 --> 01:14:17,376 Attention Harding High seniors, 1566 01:14:17,459 --> 01:14:20,918 a petition was just delivered to me by Bri Balbo, 1567 01:14:21,584 --> 01:14:22,459 I mean, Luvs, 1568 01:14:22,543 --> 01:14:26,209 um, officially reinstating a king and queen election 1569 01:14:26,293 --> 01:14:27,501 at this year's prom. 1570 01:14:27,584 --> 01:14:29,543 -[gasps] What? It's back! -[gasps] Prom? 1571 01:14:29,626 --> 01:14:31,043 Oh my God! 1572 01:14:31,126 --> 01:14:31,959 Oh my God! 1573 01:14:32,043 --> 01:14:34,876 -[shushing] Shut up! -[both] Oh my God! 1574 01:14:34,959 --> 01:14:37,751 Obviously, I respect the sacred privacy of student elections. 1575 01:14:37,834 --> 01:14:41,209 -But I'm totally voting for you. -Absolutely! Later, prom queen! 1576 01:14:41,293 --> 01:14:42,959 -[Janet] Love you! -[Yaz laughs] 1577 01:14:44,251 --> 01:14:46,334 [suspenseful music plays] 1578 01:14:56,418 --> 01:14:57,668 Can you believe it? 1579 01:14:58,668 --> 01:15:00,418 You might make history after all. 1580 01:15:01,001 --> 01:15:05,334 The first person to ever lose prom queen twice. 1581 01:15:06,834 --> 01:15:09,251 Don't go chasing waterfalls, Steph. 1582 01:15:09,751 --> 01:15:11,376 -Skank face. -What was that? 1583 01:15:12,751 --> 01:15:13,876 Oh, nothing. 1584 01:15:15,084 --> 01:15:16,251 Slut bag. 1585 01:15:16,751 --> 01:15:18,209 What did you just call me? 1586 01:15:18,751 --> 01:15:20,334 -Nothing. -Possum pussy. 1587 01:15:20,418 --> 01:15:22,084 -Rumpel-slut-skin. -Jizz collector. 1588 01:15:22,168 --> 01:15:23,334 You're a sad wife. 1589 01:15:23,418 --> 01:15:24,584 What did you say? 1590 01:15:26,168 --> 01:15:28,293 I didn't say shit, but you heard me. 1591 01:15:31,668 --> 01:15:33,543 [tense music plays] 1592 01:15:33,626 --> 01:15:37,001 [cell phones chiming] 1593 01:15:40,459 --> 01:15:41,959 [gasps] Oh my God. 1594 01:15:42,501 --> 01:15:44,709 It's an invite to a prom party at Bri's. 1595 01:15:44,793 --> 01:15:46,584 -An invite? -Check your phone! 1596 01:15:47,584 --> 01:15:49,793 Oh my God! I got invited! 1597 01:15:49,876 --> 01:15:51,668 -Can you believe that? -We got invited! 1598 01:15:51,751 --> 01:15:53,459 -Steve Aoki is DJing. -Right? 1599 01:15:53,543 --> 01:15:55,293 Steve Aoki? I love it! 1600 01:15:55,376 --> 01:15:56,709 [laughs] Oh my God! 1601 01:15:56,793 --> 01:15:58,001 [chuckles] 1602 01:16:00,168 --> 01:16:04,293 Steph. Steph, we're not gonna go probably 'cause, I mean, it's a $50 cover. 1603 01:16:04,376 --> 01:16:06,293 -Oh, yeah. -[Neil] That's so expensive. 1604 01:16:06,376 --> 01:16:07,376 I can't afford that. 1605 01:16:07,459 --> 01:16:10,709 Why didn't you tell me we were hosting it? I'd have got that aphrodisiac wine. 1606 01:16:10,793 --> 01:16:12,209 I didn't know. 1607 01:16:13,043 --> 01:16:15,459 [tense music continues] 1608 01:16:26,209 --> 01:16:28,209 [tense music intensifies] 1609 01:16:39,251 --> 01:16:41,084 [tense music ends] 1610 01:16:41,168 --> 01:16:42,001 Hi, guys. 1611 01:16:42,084 --> 01:16:43,626 I am so pumped to announce 1612 01:16:43,709 --> 01:16:46,876 that I will be hosting the biggest and the best prom after-party 1613 01:16:46,959 --> 01:16:48,584 at a supersecret locaish. 1614 01:16:49,084 --> 01:16:51,293 It's free to get in, unlike Bri's. 1615 01:16:52,209 --> 01:16:54,043 It's gonna be awesome. 1616 01:16:54,126 --> 01:16:57,709 So, DM me a picture of your ballot voting me as prom queen, 1617 01:16:57,793 --> 01:16:59,751 and you'll get all the deets night of. 1618 01:17:03,376 --> 01:17:04,626 [Jim sighs] 1619 01:17:04,709 --> 01:17:06,293 This is weird for me too, sir. 1620 01:17:12,501 --> 01:17:13,709 [exhales] 1621 01:17:17,918 --> 01:17:18,918 Stephie! 1622 01:17:19,418 --> 01:17:21,251 Wanna hurry it up? [sighs] 1623 01:17:25,876 --> 01:17:26,918 You want a beer? 1624 01:17:28,126 --> 01:17:30,626 Oh, uh, sure. 1625 01:17:30,709 --> 01:17:33,168 [mimics buzzer] Wrong answer, hot rod. 1626 01:17:33,251 --> 01:17:35,543 You think I'll let you drink and drive with my daughter? 1627 01:17:36,293 --> 01:17:38,751 Oh, well, I'm actually not driving. We're taking a Lyft. 1628 01:17:38,834 --> 01:17:40,418 Oh, cool. 1629 01:17:41,459 --> 01:17:44,959 Though I suspect Stephanie would prefer not to spend her prom evening 1630 01:17:45,043 --> 01:17:46,293 with a drunken fool. 1631 01:17:46,376 --> 01:17:47,709 It would just be the o-- 1632 01:17:47,793 --> 01:17:50,793 No, I think I'm okay, actually. I'll maybe have a water, if anything. 1633 01:17:50,876 --> 01:17:52,793 -Did you bring some condoms? -[murmurs] 1634 01:17:54,418 --> 01:17:56,126 Um, no. 1635 01:17:56,209 --> 01:18:00,126 Hm. Didn't think we needed to have this talk, but, uh, Seth, 1636 01:18:00,209 --> 01:18:04,251 you are aware that unprotected sex can lead to geriatric pregnancies? 1637 01:18:04,334 --> 01:18:06,334 -Stephie! -You ready to be an old dad? 1638 01:18:06,418 --> 01:18:08,793 I'm sorry, do you want me to sleep with your daughter? 1639 01:18:08,876 --> 01:18:10,376 -Or-- -What did you just ask me? 1640 01:18:10,459 --> 01:18:12,376 -It's-- -[Steph] Okay, I'm ready! 1641 01:18:15,043 --> 01:18:17,251 [emotional music plays] 1642 01:18:20,001 --> 01:18:21,209 [sighs] 1643 01:18:24,376 --> 01:18:26,334 Mom chose great. [chuckles] 1644 01:18:26,918 --> 01:18:28,126 Yeah. 1645 01:18:28,668 --> 01:18:29,501 [chuckles] 1646 01:18:29,584 --> 01:18:31,918 -Going to prom. -[camera shutter clicks] 1647 01:18:32,001 --> 01:18:34,418 -Oh my God. Dad, stop it. -Don't. 1648 01:18:34,501 --> 01:18:38,126 Dad, stop it. You're embarrassing me. 1649 01:18:38,209 --> 01:18:39,751 A bit higher on the angle. 1650 01:18:39,834 --> 01:18:42,418 Dad, you're taking so many, but take more, take more. 1651 01:18:43,084 --> 01:18:44,459 -Boy band. -♪ Cover girl ♪ 1652 01:18:44,543 --> 01:18:45,793 Okay, Dad, that's enough. 1653 01:18:45,876 --> 01:18:46,959 -Maybe just some of me? -Oh. 1654 01:18:47,043 --> 01:18:48,084 [camera shutter clicks] 1655 01:18:48,168 --> 01:18:50,001 ♪ On the runway ♪ 1656 01:18:50,084 --> 01:18:51,376 -♪ Work ♪ -♪ Supermodel ♪ 1657 01:18:51,459 --> 01:18:54,001 -♪ You better work it, girl ♪ -♪ Of the world ♪ 1658 01:18:54,084 --> 01:18:57,459 ♪ Wet your lips And make love to the camera ♪ 1659 01:18:57,543 --> 01:18:59,334 -♪ Work ♪ -♪ Turn to the left ♪ 1660 01:18:59,418 --> 01:19:01,626 -♪ Work ♪ -♪ Now turn to the right ♪ 1661 01:19:01,709 --> 01:19:02,876 ♪ Work ♪ 1662 01:19:02,959 --> 01:19:03,876 ♪ Sashay ♪ 1663 01:19:03,959 --> 01:19:06,334 This is such a perfect night. 1664 01:19:06,418 --> 01:19:07,918 -Yeah. -That filthy ho. 1665 01:19:08,001 --> 01:19:11,668 -She's rigging the election. -She's an adult. She won't stoop that low. 1666 01:19:13,376 --> 01:19:14,209 Wait. 1667 01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:17,834 Hey, Tiffany. 1668 01:19:17,918 --> 01:19:19,751 -Oh my gosh. -Hey, Steph! 1669 01:19:19,834 --> 01:19:21,043 I'm surprised you're here. 1670 01:19:21,126 --> 01:19:24,918 Aren't you normally on a Saturday night just home sharpening your teeth? 1671 01:19:25,793 --> 01:19:27,626 You know, I just want to say 1672 01:19:27,709 --> 01:19:31,626 the noble thing would be to do what the rest of these students are doing 1673 01:19:31,709 --> 01:19:33,751 and vote for Bri. 1674 01:19:33,834 --> 01:19:35,126 Oh. [laughs] 1675 01:19:35,209 --> 01:19:36,668 -Is that right? -Mm-hmm. 1676 01:19:36,751 --> 01:19:40,251 Well, I always do the noble thing. 1677 01:19:40,959 --> 01:19:43,959 Vote for Bri. Is it spelled like the cheese? 1678 01:19:45,043 --> 01:19:46,293 B, R, I. 1679 01:19:46,376 --> 01:19:47,209 Hmm. 1680 01:19:48,293 --> 01:19:49,251 Interesting. 1681 01:19:50,751 --> 01:19:51,584 Ooh. 1682 01:19:51,668 --> 01:19:52,918 Yep. Right in there. 1683 01:19:53,001 --> 01:19:54,001 There. 1684 01:19:56,209 --> 01:19:57,918 I'm just so confident. 1685 01:19:59,043 --> 01:19:59,918 [Steph grunts] 1686 01:20:01,376 --> 01:20:03,876 -Just vote for me. -Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 1687 01:20:03,959 --> 01:20:05,501 Sethany. 1688 01:20:05,584 --> 01:20:06,751 [Seth and Tiffany laugh] 1689 01:20:06,834 --> 01:20:09,251 You know you're not eligible for prom queen, right? 1690 01:20:09,334 --> 01:20:12,543 That's right, I'm not. I'm not eligible for prom queen. 1691 01:20:12,626 --> 01:20:15,334 And it's probably killing you that you aren't either. 1692 01:20:16,459 --> 01:20:17,668 Relax, Tiff. 1693 01:20:18,168 --> 01:20:19,418 I'm just joking. 1694 01:20:19,501 --> 01:20:20,959 [both chuckle] 1695 01:20:21,043 --> 01:20:23,834 -That's funny. -It's funny. It was a joke. Yeah. 1696 01:20:23,918 --> 01:20:25,793 -It was a joke. -[laughs] 1697 01:20:26,418 --> 01:20:27,668 She's going down. 1698 01:20:29,084 --> 01:20:30,834 Bye. [clears throat] 1699 01:20:30,918 --> 01:20:33,459 -["Body Rock" by Regulus Red plays] -♪ Make your body rock ♪ 1700 01:20:33,543 --> 01:20:34,668 ♪ Don't you make it stop ♪ 1701 01:20:35,251 --> 01:20:38,376 ♪ Baby, dance your dance around me ♪ 1702 01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:40,084 ♪ I want you all for me… ♪ 1703 01:20:40,168 --> 01:20:43,334 -Oh my God, it's beautiful. -[Seth] Mm-hmm. 1704 01:20:43,418 --> 01:20:45,209 Oh my God, Steph! There you are! 1705 01:20:45,293 --> 01:20:49,876 -Oh, you guys look incredible. Amazing! -Thanks. Wanna go crush the photo booth? 1706 01:20:49,959 --> 01:20:52,209 Oh my God, stop. You're causing climate change. 1707 01:20:52,293 --> 01:20:56,001 Um, I've got to go and get some votes. I don't know whether you guys saw, 1708 01:20:56,084 --> 01:20:59,168 but Bri's mom is, like, totally trying to rig the election. 1709 01:20:59,251 --> 01:21:01,209 Oh! Oh, hell, no! 1710 01:21:01,293 --> 01:21:03,376 I will not stand for voter suppression. 1711 01:21:03,459 --> 01:21:06,334 -We're gonna go help spread the word. -Storm the cafeteria. 1712 01:21:06,418 --> 01:21:07,418 -[Yaz] Bye. -See you later? 1713 01:21:07,501 --> 01:21:09,334 Everyone feeling included? Okay. 1714 01:21:09,418 --> 01:21:11,876 There's enough room on the dance floor for everybody, 1715 01:21:11,959 --> 01:21:16,043 and you don't need a partner to dance. I usually dance by myself. It's fun. 1716 01:21:16,126 --> 01:21:17,834 [camera shutters clicking] 1717 01:21:17,918 --> 01:21:19,418 [upbeat music plays] 1718 01:21:22,084 --> 01:21:26,793 Baby, look at me. You know, this is the dress I won prom queen in. Still fits. 1719 01:21:26,876 --> 01:21:28,918 I almost wore that exact same dress, 1720 01:21:29,001 --> 01:21:31,001 but I'm glad I didn't because you look phenomenal. 1721 01:21:31,084 --> 01:21:32,709 -Aw. -What are you doing? 1722 01:21:32,793 --> 01:21:36,834 I am fulfilling my duties as the president of the PTA, 1723 01:21:36,918 --> 01:21:39,084 overlooking the ballot boxes, 1724 01:21:39,168 --> 01:21:43,751 and something tells me that you got this in the bag. 1725 01:21:43,834 --> 01:21:44,793 Wink. 1726 01:21:45,584 --> 01:21:49,043 I mean, you can't be a woke prom queen if you lose. [chuckles] 1727 01:21:49,126 --> 01:21:51,584 Which reminds me, here is a list of brands 1728 01:21:51,668 --> 01:21:54,751 I'd love for you to casually drop during your acceptance speech. 1729 01:21:54,834 --> 01:21:57,459 Each one could be an additional 10K. 1730 01:21:57,543 --> 01:22:01,084 Don't worry if you can't work in Pep Boys. It's not really our thing. 1731 01:22:01,168 --> 01:22:05,376 [inhales] Please just try and remember this is my prom, not yours. 1732 01:22:08,501 --> 01:22:10,501 [dance music plays] 1733 01:22:12,918 --> 01:22:14,543 -[phone beeps] -[Steph] Hey, fam. 1734 01:22:14,626 --> 01:22:19,001 Um, guys, just letting you know that prom queen voting is still open, 1735 01:22:19,084 --> 01:22:20,501 and I think that something-- 1736 01:22:20,584 --> 01:22:21,918 Damn, Conway, you look… 1737 01:22:22,001 --> 01:22:24,459 -[phone beeps] -[whistles] …banging. 1738 01:22:25,418 --> 01:22:27,668 Oh my God, you're here. I mean, um… 1739 01:22:29,418 --> 01:22:30,251 You came. [chuckles] 1740 01:22:30,334 --> 01:22:34,709 Of course, I came. I've been waiting 20 years to see you in this dress. 1741 01:22:35,584 --> 01:22:36,501 [Steph chuckles] 1742 01:22:36,584 --> 01:22:38,209 My God, you look beautiful. 1743 01:22:39,043 --> 01:22:41,751 What is this? You mind if I slip this off? 1744 01:22:41,834 --> 01:22:43,626 -Um-- -You really don't need it. 1745 01:22:44,376 --> 01:22:46,668 I still have a naughty thing for prom queens, right? 1746 01:22:46,751 --> 01:22:50,459 Well, If I don't get enough votes, you might be fucking your daughter. 1747 01:22:50,543 --> 01:22:51,626 Huh? 1748 01:22:51,709 --> 01:22:55,418 -No, I wouldn't do that, but… -No. Obviously. [chuckles] Sorry. Yeah. 1749 01:22:55,501 --> 01:22:56,709 Look at us. We are… 1750 01:22:57,918 --> 01:23:00,709 We're meant to be together. We're perfect together. Admit it. 1751 01:23:01,418 --> 01:23:02,876 We're made for one another. 1752 01:23:03,418 --> 01:23:04,334 -Blaine? -Yeah. 1753 01:23:04,418 --> 01:23:06,334 I don't think this is right. This is a mistake. 1754 01:23:06,418 --> 01:23:08,793 No, no. The mistake was me asking Tiff to prom. Trust me. 1755 01:23:08,876 --> 01:23:10,709 Wait. No, Blaine. Seriously. 1756 01:23:12,251 --> 01:23:14,251 [tense music plays] 1757 01:23:15,626 --> 01:23:16,626 Seth. 1758 01:23:16,709 --> 01:23:17,584 Seth? 1759 01:23:18,459 --> 01:23:19,459 [dance music plays] 1760 01:23:19,543 --> 01:23:22,459 Hey, Seth. Seth, hey! I know what that looked like, 1761 01:23:22,543 --> 01:23:24,543 but I promise you, it's not what you think. 1762 01:23:26,834 --> 01:23:28,584 You teenage-tricked me, Steph. 1763 01:23:29,334 --> 01:23:33,209 And you know what? It's my fault for believing you changed. 1764 01:23:35,418 --> 01:23:39,918 [Mr. Tapper] Okay, class of 2022, it's the big moment! 1765 01:23:40,001 --> 01:23:44,209 Okay, so the reason that we're all here and the only reason we all came tonight… 1766 01:23:44,293 --> 01:23:46,209 -[Martha] No. -…is because-- No, it is. 1767 01:23:46,293 --> 01:23:51,751 …is because I have the results of our prom elections. 1768 01:23:51,834 --> 01:23:53,501 [crowd cheers and applauds] 1769 01:23:55,168 --> 01:23:59,293 By a unanimous vote, our 2022 prom king is 1770 01:24:00,209 --> 01:24:01,626 Lance Harrison. 1771 01:24:02,168 --> 01:24:04,959 -[crowd cheers] -[upbeat music plays] 1772 01:24:08,668 --> 01:24:09,959 [Yaz] Yes! [laughs] 1773 01:24:11,334 --> 01:24:13,293 Oh my God! [laughs] 1774 01:24:13,959 --> 01:24:18,126 And the winner of prom queen received over 1,000 votes 1775 01:24:18,209 --> 01:24:21,626 despite there only being 327 of you. 1776 01:24:21,709 --> 01:24:23,751 However, she has just informed us 1777 01:24:23,834 --> 01:24:26,584 that she has withdrawn from the competition. 1778 01:24:26,668 --> 01:24:27,668 [Mr. Tapper] What? 1779 01:24:29,043 --> 01:24:31,584 -[Martha clears throat] Okay, so… -Bri. 1780 01:24:31,668 --> 01:24:34,543 [Martha] …the 2022 prom queen will go to… 1781 01:24:37,501 --> 01:24:38,959 Stephanie Conway. 1782 01:24:39,043 --> 01:24:41,043 -[crowd cheers] -[emotional music plays] 1783 01:24:42,709 --> 01:24:44,626 [inaudible] 1784 01:24:46,168 --> 01:24:48,418 [cheers] 1785 01:24:48,501 --> 01:24:50,418 There's been a mistake. No, no, no. 1786 01:24:52,126 --> 01:24:54,584 -Go, Steph! I can't believe it! -[laughs] 1787 01:24:55,668 --> 01:24:56,501 God! 1788 01:24:56,584 --> 01:25:01,584 [crowd chants] Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! 1789 01:25:01,668 --> 01:25:03,084 Stephanie! 1790 01:25:03,168 --> 01:25:04,459 Stephanie! 1791 01:25:04,543 --> 01:25:05,543 No! No! 1792 01:25:05,626 --> 01:25:08,834 [crowd continues] Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! Stephanie! 1793 01:25:08,918 --> 01:25:11,251 [emotional music intensifies] 1794 01:25:21,459 --> 01:25:25,876 Now it is time for our king and queen to take their dance. 1795 01:25:25,959 --> 01:25:27,793 [crowd cheers] 1796 01:25:31,376 --> 01:25:32,418 [cheers] 1797 01:25:32,501 --> 01:25:35,793 -Oh my God! -♪ The whispers in the morning ♪ 1798 01:25:39,376 --> 01:25:43,084 ♪ Of lovers sleeping tight ♪ 1799 01:25:46,168 --> 01:25:51,334 ♪ Are rolling by like thunder now ♪ 1800 01:25:53,251 --> 01:25:57,459 ♪ As I look in your eyes ♪ 1801 01:26:00,418 --> 01:26:04,459 ♪ I hold on to your body ♪ 1802 01:26:07,501 --> 01:26:11,834 ♪ And feel each move you make ♪ 1803 01:26:14,043 --> 01:26:17,834 ♪ Your voice is warm and tender ♪ 1804 01:26:18,543 --> 01:26:21,459 ♪ A love that I could ♪ 1805 01:26:22,376 --> 01:26:27,251 ♪ Not forsake ♪ 1806 01:26:27,918 --> 01:26:32,584 -♪ 'Cause I am your lady ♪ -[crowd cheers] 1807 01:26:32,668 --> 01:26:34,626 -Oh my God! -What? 1808 01:26:34,709 --> 01:26:35,668 [Janet laughs] 1809 01:26:35,751 --> 01:26:39,168 ♪ And you are my man ♪ 1810 01:26:40,209 --> 01:26:41,293 Stop. 1811 01:26:42,001 --> 01:26:46,959 ♪ Whenever you reach for me ♪ 1812 01:26:49,126 --> 01:26:54,709 ♪ I'll do all that I can ♪ 1813 01:26:56,251 --> 01:27:00,584 ♪ Even though there may be times ♪ 1814 01:27:03,459 --> 01:27:07,584 ♪ It seems I'm far away ♪ 1815 01:27:10,251 --> 01:27:13,751 ♪ But never wonder where I am ♪ 1816 01:27:14,834 --> 01:27:19,918 ♪ 'Cause I am always by your… ♪ 1817 01:27:20,001 --> 01:27:23,626 After-party at Bri's house with live music. 1818 01:27:23,709 --> 01:27:28,168 And spoiler alert, party favors are Beats by Dre headphones! 1819 01:27:28,959 --> 01:27:30,876 Bri, will you tell them? [exhales] 1820 01:27:30,959 --> 01:27:34,793 Hey, everyone, after-party is at Steph's place. See you there. 1821 01:27:34,876 --> 01:27:37,834 Wait, what are you doing? The house is ready for the party. 1822 01:27:37,918 --> 01:27:41,543 I mean, Steve Aoki is in our living room. What am I going to tell him? 1823 01:27:41,626 --> 01:27:44,293 I don't know. Tell him you lost prom queen. 1824 01:27:44,376 --> 01:27:47,293 [rap music plays] 1825 01:27:47,376 --> 01:27:48,751 Shit. Shit. 1826 01:27:58,251 --> 01:28:01,293 [crowd chants] Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! 1827 01:28:01,376 --> 01:28:02,584 [boy] No! 1828 01:28:02,668 --> 01:28:06,293 [rap music continues] 1829 01:28:06,876 --> 01:28:10,668 Yes, hi. I'd like to report a rowdy high school party 1830 01:28:10,751 --> 01:28:13,043 with tons of underage drinking. 1831 01:28:13,626 --> 01:28:15,043 And-- Oh my God! 1832 01:28:15,793 --> 01:28:18,376 I think an adult is hosting it. 1833 01:28:19,126 --> 01:28:22,584 -["Bossed Up" by KC Carter plays] -[crowd chants indistinctly] 1834 01:28:24,626 --> 01:28:25,584 [crowd cheers] 1835 01:28:27,334 --> 01:28:28,168 Yeah! 1836 01:28:28,668 --> 01:28:29,834 Hey! 1837 01:28:29,918 --> 01:28:30,793 Hey, Janet! 1838 01:28:31,376 --> 01:28:32,251 Come on! 1839 01:28:32,334 --> 01:28:34,168 -No, don't film me! -Why? 1840 01:28:34,251 --> 01:28:36,543 The media will use it to try and discredit me. 1841 01:28:39,876 --> 01:28:40,709 Wait, no. 1842 01:28:40,793 --> 01:28:43,334 -Fuck it! Fuck it! Film me! Film me! -Okay. Okay. 1843 01:28:43,418 --> 01:28:47,251 Yeah, come on, yeah. That's right. It's the president, bitch! 1844 01:28:47,334 --> 01:28:49,251 -Yeah! -Suck my vulva! 1845 01:28:49,334 --> 01:28:50,668 [both scream] 1846 01:28:50,751 --> 01:28:53,209 ["Bossed Up" continues playing] 1847 01:28:56,043 --> 01:28:58,209 Oh my God, whose tooth is this? 1848 01:28:58,293 --> 01:28:59,584 -[siren wails] -Oh shit. 1849 01:28:59,668 --> 01:29:01,168 Cops! 1850 01:29:02,793 --> 01:29:05,668 -Where? Wait. Okay, wait-- -[boy] Bye, Stephanie. 1851 01:29:05,751 --> 01:29:07,334 No. Oh my God. 1852 01:29:12,668 --> 01:29:14,668 [tense music plays] 1853 01:29:23,918 --> 01:29:27,084 Oh my God, Martha, I was just about to call you. 1854 01:29:27,168 --> 01:29:31,209 Steph, what in ever living fuck were you thinking? 1855 01:29:32,334 --> 01:29:36,126 -You said I could use the house. -Are you kidding? Twenty years ago. 1856 01:29:36,209 --> 01:29:39,209 And even then, I didn't want you to use it. 1857 01:29:39,293 --> 01:29:42,084 -Did you even think about me? -[indistinct chatter over police radio] 1858 01:29:42,168 --> 01:29:44,709 This is all kinds of illegal. 1859 01:29:44,793 --> 01:29:47,376 Oh my God, they're gonna make a Netflix documentary about me. 1860 01:29:47,459 --> 01:29:50,834 Well, wait. Okay, think about that. That could be really cool. 1861 01:29:50,918 --> 01:29:52,834 That… that could be epic. 1862 01:29:52,918 --> 01:29:54,959 Look how well it turned out for Tiger King. 1863 01:29:55,043 --> 01:29:56,084 No. 1864 01:29:56,168 --> 01:30:00,209 No, it's not epic or cool. 1865 01:30:00,293 --> 01:30:02,459 God, you're the same as in high school. 1866 01:30:03,043 --> 01:30:05,751 -So you don't want a drink? -No, I don't want a drink! 1867 01:30:06,668 --> 01:30:08,376 You need to grow up! 1868 01:30:08,959 --> 01:30:10,293 You're not a teenager! 1869 01:30:10,376 --> 01:30:13,876 I know I'm not. I'm an adult. Is that what you want to hear? 1870 01:30:14,376 --> 01:30:18,043 Yes, I am a 37-year-old 12th grader. 1871 01:30:21,043 --> 01:30:25,584 You don't think I know how crazy it is going back to high school in this body? 1872 01:30:26,334 --> 01:30:29,126 What else was I supposed to do? [chuckles] 1873 01:30:29,209 --> 01:30:32,418 -What else did I have? -You had me, and you had Seth. 1874 01:30:33,001 --> 01:30:35,751 Everybody else just got to go on and live their lives. 1875 01:30:35,834 --> 01:30:37,626 I'm supposed to just jump forward? 1876 01:30:37,709 --> 01:30:40,793 I'm just not allowed to ever make mistakes? 1877 01:30:40,876 --> 01:30:43,209 Making mistakes is different 1878 01:30:43,293 --> 01:30:46,168 than willfully screwing over the people who care about you. 1879 01:30:47,251 --> 01:30:48,751 You pushed us away. 1880 01:30:49,668 --> 01:30:52,751 They were not your friends. We were your friends. 1881 01:30:53,376 --> 01:30:55,293 We were the ones who cared about you. 1882 01:30:55,376 --> 01:30:57,501 We were the ones who showed up at the hospital. 1883 01:30:57,584 --> 01:30:59,418 They never came to the hospital. None of them. 1884 01:30:59,501 --> 01:31:01,584 I can't believe you would say that. 1885 01:31:02,376 --> 01:31:04,334 I got tons of birthday cards. 1886 01:31:04,418 --> 01:31:06,334 Did you even look to see who they were from? 1887 01:31:06,418 --> 01:31:07,418 [stomach growls] 1888 01:31:07,501 --> 01:31:09,793 [groans and vomits] 1889 01:31:10,418 --> 01:31:11,543 [Martha coughs] 1890 01:31:11,626 --> 01:31:13,793 [spits] Help. Oh God. 1891 01:31:14,418 --> 01:31:15,501 Was that curry? 1892 01:31:15,584 --> 01:31:17,751 I'm done. You can find your own way home. 1893 01:31:20,751 --> 01:31:21,751 [sighs] 1894 01:31:23,001 --> 01:31:24,209 Hey, Seth. [chuckles] 1895 01:31:28,459 --> 01:31:30,959 [indistinct chatter over police radio] 1896 01:31:32,459 --> 01:31:33,626 Finally. 1897 01:31:33,709 --> 01:31:35,709 I saw you followed Stephanie on Insta. 1898 01:31:35,793 --> 01:31:39,209 Don't you wanna know if I got arrested at that party you called the cops on? 1899 01:31:39,293 --> 01:31:40,209 I know it was you. 1900 01:31:40,293 --> 01:31:44,043 Do you think I do this stuff for fun? I'm looking out for you. 1901 01:31:44,126 --> 01:31:46,168 We could have made a hundred grand tonight. 1902 01:31:46,251 --> 01:31:49,251 We could've used that money as a donation to get you into college. 1903 01:31:49,334 --> 01:31:51,751 So you could blog about being an Ivy League mom? 1904 01:31:51,834 --> 01:31:54,126 Oh well, I guess I'll have to get in myself. 1905 01:31:54,209 --> 01:31:57,543 I want you to have the perfect life, 1906 01:31:58,126 --> 01:31:58,959 like me. 1907 01:31:59,543 --> 01:32:02,751 The perfect life online means nothing when you're miserable in real life. 1908 01:32:02,834 --> 01:32:05,209 We are not miserable. 1909 01:32:05,293 --> 01:32:06,168 Yeah, we are. 1910 01:32:07,293 --> 01:32:09,626 [Bri] And you're right, Mom. 1911 01:32:09,709 --> 01:32:12,459 No elite person follows more than 100 people. 1912 01:32:13,084 --> 01:32:14,709 So you gotta go. 1913 01:32:14,793 --> 01:32:17,376 -[gasps] -You are toast. 1914 01:32:17,459 --> 01:32:18,918 Hey, your family's fucked up. 1915 01:32:19,001 --> 01:32:21,376 Are we doing this? I got another gig in an hour. 1916 01:32:21,459 --> 01:32:23,834 You know what? Fuck you, Steve Aoki. 1917 01:32:23,918 --> 01:32:26,918 -["Drive" by Leslie Hayes McCann plays] -♪ Life is a second ♪ 1918 01:32:27,001 --> 01:32:29,668 ♪ Gone in an instant ♪ 1919 01:32:29,751 --> 01:32:32,459 ♪ Defined by a moment… ♪ 1920 01:32:32,543 --> 01:32:34,918 No offense, but you look like a prom queen. 1921 01:32:38,251 --> 01:32:40,834 Holy shit, Deanna Russo? 1922 01:32:41,876 --> 01:32:44,084 Yeah. Do we know each other? 1923 01:32:44,584 --> 01:32:47,751 Oh my God. No. I… I mean… Well, I know who you are. 1924 01:32:47,834 --> 01:32:49,584 You're a legend at Harding High. 1925 01:32:49,668 --> 01:32:51,793 You won prom queen and had a perfect life. 1926 01:32:51,876 --> 01:32:53,543 [laughs] Perfect life? 1927 01:32:54,293 --> 01:32:57,251 Yeah. Uh, let's see, um… 1928 01:32:57,334 --> 01:33:01,543 I was divorced before I was 30 when my husband left me 1929 01:33:01,626 --> 01:33:05,709 for a 21-year-old barista with two more abs than I had. 1930 01:33:05,793 --> 01:33:10,584 And I was left with no credit and no job prospects. 1931 01:33:11,459 --> 01:33:14,543 My advice, throw that crown away now. 1932 01:33:15,126 --> 01:33:16,709 You know what prom queen got me? 1933 01:33:16,793 --> 01:33:18,459 An even spray tan 1934 01:33:18,543 --> 01:33:22,418 and the ability to dodge bleach poisoning every time I get my hair done. 1935 01:33:22,501 --> 01:33:24,293 Well, I mean, that is a skill. 1936 01:33:25,584 --> 01:33:26,459 [chuckles] Yeah. 1937 01:33:27,126 --> 01:33:33,709 But, uh, imagine all the other skills I would have had if I'd gone to college. 1938 01:33:33,793 --> 01:33:35,543 I don't know where I would be, 1939 01:33:36,084 --> 01:33:39,251 but I do know it wouldn't be taking courses at the community college 1940 01:33:39,334 --> 01:33:42,418 while hustling to make rent between two jobs. 1941 01:33:42,501 --> 01:33:46,501 The only thing I look forward to is taking my pants off at night. 1942 01:33:46,584 --> 01:33:48,293 Oh my God. I do that too now. 1943 01:33:48,376 --> 01:33:50,751 -It's so good, right? -Yeah. Just like… 1944 01:33:50,834 --> 01:33:53,418 -[mimics snapping off buttons] -[Deanna sighs] Yeah. 1945 01:33:53,501 --> 01:33:57,626 But it's all worth it 'cause I am going to get a degree, 1946 01:33:57,709 --> 01:34:02,209 and I am going to have a career, and that is everything. 1947 01:34:02,793 --> 01:34:06,751 And for the first time in my life, I'm excited about the future 1948 01:34:07,334 --> 01:34:09,459 instead of holding on to the past. 1949 01:34:09,543 --> 01:34:11,418 ["Winter" by Joshua Radin plays] 1950 01:34:14,126 --> 01:34:18,834 ♪ I should know who I am by now ♪ 1951 01:34:19,876 --> 01:34:22,168 ♪ I walk ♪ 1952 01:34:22,251 --> 01:34:25,293 ♪ The record stands somehow ♪ 1953 01:34:25,376 --> 01:34:27,459 ♪ Thinking of winter ♪ 1954 01:34:30,709 --> 01:34:34,293 ♪ Your name is the splinter inside me ♪ 1955 01:34:35,168 --> 01:34:38,709 ♪ While I wait… ♪ 1956 01:34:38,793 --> 01:34:42,709 [man] Please welcome our award-winning Harding Bulldogettes! 1957 01:34:42,793 --> 01:34:47,751 -[crowd cheers] -♪ And I remember the sound ♪ 1958 01:34:48,501 --> 01:34:51,251 ♪ Of your November downtown ♪ 1959 01:34:53,709 --> 01:34:57,543 ♪ And I remember the truth ♪ 1960 01:34:59,459 --> 01:35:01,918 ♪ A warm December with you ♪ 1961 01:35:03,293 --> 01:35:07,751 ♪ But I don't have to make this mistake ♪ 1962 01:35:09,168 --> 01:35:13,584 ♪ And I don't have to stay this way ♪ 1963 01:35:14,459 --> 01:35:16,959 ♪ If only I would wake ♪ 1964 01:35:22,793 --> 01:35:24,543 Oh. There you are. 1965 01:35:25,793 --> 01:35:27,043 Is everything okay? 1966 01:35:28,293 --> 01:35:29,251 Want something to eat? 1967 01:35:30,334 --> 01:35:31,334 I'm not hungry. 1968 01:35:31,418 --> 01:35:34,168 Oh, come on. Sit down with me. Have breakfast with your old dad. 1969 01:35:35,251 --> 01:35:37,084 [inhales and exhales] 1970 01:35:39,751 --> 01:35:42,668 [sighs] Do you know where you're sitting at graduation yet? 1971 01:35:43,876 --> 01:35:44,751 On my butt? 1972 01:35:44,834 --> 01:35:45,668 [laughs] 1973 01:35:47,459 --> 01:35:49,501 I just wanna get a good seat so I can see you. 1974 01:35:50,209 --> 01:35:51,168 [sighs] 1975 01:35:51,918 --> 01:35:53,751 I'm not gonna go to graduation, Dad. 1976 01:35:53,834 --> 01:35:55,501 Seth and Martha won't talk to me, 1977 01:35:55,584 --> 01:35:57,834 and I don't think anybody else wants me there. 1978 01:35:57,918 --> 01:35:59,251 Well, I want you there. 1979 01:35:59,834 --> 01:36:00,876 That doesn't count. 1980 01:36:01,459 --> 01:36:02,376 Yes, it does. 1981 01:36:04,001 --> 01:36:05,126 I count. 1982 01:36:06,084 --> 01:36:10,126 I know you used to roll your eyes whenever Mom would compliment you, 1983 01:36:11,043 --> 01:36:14,084 tell you how amazing, beautiful, wonderful you were, 1984 01:36:14,668 --> 01:36:16,793 like she had to say it 'cause she was Mom, 1985 01:36:18,334 --> 01:36:19,793 but she wanted to 1986 01:36:20,459 --> 01:36:22,709 because she believed it, deeply. 1987 01:36:25,126 --> 01:36:28,084 One of the last things she said to me was to make sure 1988 01:36:28,876 --> 01:36:31,334 that you knew how to receive love. 1989 01:36:32,126 --> 01:36:35,959 And I spent every day of your coma wondering if I messed up, 1990 01:36:36,043 --> 01:36:39,293 so… let me be clear. 1991 01:36:41,251 --> 01:36:45,209 Don't waste your time telling the people who love you the most 1992 01:36:45,293 --> 01:36:46,709 that they don't count. 1993 01:36:47,668 --> 01:36:50,168 They are the only ones that count. 1994 01:36:51,501 --> 01:36:53,168 [sniffles] 1995 01:36:53,251 --> 01:36:54,293 Thanks, Dad. 1996 01:36:55,626 --> 01:36:56,501 Yeah. 1997 01:36:58,126 --> 01:36:59,959 ["Grow as We Go" by Ben Platt plays] 1998 01:37:00,918 --> 01:37:01,793 [phone beeps] 1999 01:37:01,876 --> 01:37:05,293 {\an8}Okay, I know I have some things to clear up, so… 2000 01:37:07,084 --> 01:37:09,168 {\an8}I thought this is gonna be the best way. 2001 01:37:09,251 --> 01:37:13,001 Guys, I fucked up. And I really need to apologize. 2002 01:37:13,084 --> 01:37:15,959 First of all, I've been a really dodgy friend 2003 01:37:16,043 --> 01:37:18,626 to the two people who care about me the most, 2004 01:37:18,709 --> 01:37:23,334 the people who supported me when I was just that dorky kid fresh from Australia, 2005 01:37:24,084 --> 01:37:28,543 the ones who stayed by my side, even when I majorly neglected them, 2006 01:37:29,459 --> 01:37:32,709 the ones who, for some reason, never gave up on me. 2007 01:37:32,793 --> 01:37:36,543 It doesn't matter who has the most friends or likes or followers. 2008 01:37:36,626 --> 01:37:39,001 If you just have one or two great friends 2009 01:37:39,084 --> 01:37:41,918 who will support you even when you're being a butt slut, 2010 01:37:42,001 --> 01:37:43,418 then you've got it all. 2011 01:37:44,209 --> 01:37:46,376 And that is something worth fighting for, 2012 01:37:46,459 --> 01:37:48,459 so fuck what other people think. 2013 01:37:48,543 --> 01:37:52,001 Yeah, like, fuck being popular. Fuck being cool. 2014 01:37:52,084 --> 01:37:53,668 Fuck it in the ass. 2015 01:37:53,751 --> 01:37:55,376 [whispers] Stephie, language. 2016 01:37:56,001 --> 01:37:59,751 [Steph] I never planned on taking two decades to graduate, obvi, 2017 01:37:59,834 --> 01:38:02,709 but the class of 2022 showed me something that 2018 01:38:02,793 --> 01:38:05,376 I could never have learned when I was in high school the first time. 2019 01:38:05,459 --> 01:38:06,876 [Martha] We have a school archive! 2020 01:38:07,543 --> 01:38:12,709 [Steph] And that is every single one of us is so unique, and that's awesome. 2021 01:38:12,793 --> 01:38:15,084 Why fit in when you can stand out? 2022 01:38:15,959 --> 01:38:19,459 And so, okay, now I'm gonna do something 2023 01:38:19,543 --> 01:38:22,501 that I wish I had the confidence to do 20 years ago, 2024 01:38:23,126 --> 01:38:25,126 and that is being my real self. 2025 01:38:25,793 --> 01:38:29,001 {\an8}And yeah, I'm still afraid that if I show everyone my real self, 2026 01:38:29,084 --> 01:38:30,959 {\an8}the wrong people will make fun of me. 2027 01:38:31,459 --> 01:38:34,084 {\an8}But it's the only way for the right people to see me. 2028 01:38:36,043 --> 01:38:38,168 {\an8}And they're the ones I care about the most. 2029 01:38:40,918 --> 01:38:44,501 {\an8}They're the ones I want, more than anything, to forgive me. 2030 01:38:46,501 --> 01:38:48,334 ["Grow as We Go" ends] 2031 01:38:56,876 --> 01:38:59,584 [whispers] Dad, stop. Stop it. 2032 01:38:59,668 --> 01:39:00,959 That's it. 2033 01:39:01,876 --> 01:39:03,459 Dad, just stop it! Press stop. 2034 01:39:03,543 --> 01:39:05,293 -[Jim] Sorry. -[phone beeps] 2035 01:39:05,376 --> 01:39:06,918 That was beautiful. 2036 01:39:09,668 --> 01:39:10,501 Tiff. 2037 01:39:10,584 --> 01:39:15,543 [hesitates] My daughter won't, um, unblock me unless… 2038 01:39:17,001 --> 01:39:18,293 I came to apologize to you. 2039 01:39:19,376 --> 01:39:21,084 -Seriously? -So… 2040 01:39:21,168 --> 01:39:22,043 Um… 2041 01:39:23,126 --> 01:39:26,251 I am sorry for everything I've done 2042 01:39:27,126 --> 01:39:31,251 and for treating you like human garbage all these years. 2043 01:39:31,334 --> 01:39:34,209 Tiff, I'm not the one you should be trying to make things right with. 2044 01:39:34,918 --> 01:39:37,168 You and Blaine have an awesome daughter 2045 01:39:37,251 --> 01:39:41,501 who's so smart and way cooler than what you and I ever were. 2046 01:39:43,334 --> 01:39:45,001 Stop competing with her. 2047 01:39:45,584 --> 01:39:47,501 There's enough room for both of you. 2048 01:39:48,126 --> 01:39:50,043 There's enough room for all of us. 2049 01:39:50,543 --> 01:39:52,501 We don't need to fight with each other. 2050 01:39:53,834 --> 01:39:54,668 You're right. 2051 01:39:55,501 --> 01:39:59,043 I am really sorry, Stephanie, 2052 01:39:59,793 --> 01:40:00,751 for… 2053 01:40:02,751 --> 01:40:03,584 everything. 2054 01:40:06,459 --> 01:40:07,334 Yeah. 2055 01:40:09,043 --> 01:40:10,584 Apology accepted. 2056 01:40:13,543 --> 01:40:15,001 -Okay. -Tiff, wait, um… 2057 01:40:15,793 --> 01:40:18,418 [scoffs] I never let a guest leave without a gift. 2058 01:40:19,793 --> 01:40:21,209 -Hang on. -That is… 2059 01:40:21,293 --> 01:40:24,126 -Just wait… wait one second. -[Tiffany] …so cute. 2060 01:40:27,501 --> 01:40:28,543 That's for you. 2061 01:40:32,418 --> 01:40:34,834 -Thank you so much. Thank you. -[Steph] Thanks for coming over. 2062 01:40:34,918 --> 01:40:36,459 Lance Harrison. 2063 01:40:36,543 --> 01:40:39,209 [crowd cheers and applauds] 2064 01:40:39,293 --> 01:40:40,959 Oh my God. 2065 01:40:46,626 --> 01:40:49,834 -I just wanna say thanks to my grandma-- -No, no, no, no. 2066 01:40:49,918 --> 01:40:52,876 Just so everybody knows, nobody else do that. Okay. 2067 01:40:53,376 --> 01:40:55,543 Britney Jean Balbo. 2068 01:40:55,626 --> 01:40:57,126 [crowd cheers and applauds] 2069 01:40:57,209 --> 01:40:58,626 [cheers] 2070 01:40:59,418 --> 01:41:01,251 -Yes, Bri! -[Tiffany] Go, baby! 2071 01:41:01,334 --> 01:41:02,376 Go, Bri! 2072 01:41:04,959 --> 01:41:06,209 {\an8}[crowd cheers] 2073 01:41:09,209 --> 01:41:11,543 Stephanie Marie Conway. 2074 01:41:11,626 --> 01:41:13,376 [crowd cheers and applauds] 2075 01:41:13,459 --> 01:41:15,626 [cheers] That's my daughter! 2076 01:41:15,709 --> 01:41:17,251 [triumphant music plays] 2077 01:41:23,668 --> 01:41:24,918 Um, oh… 2078 01:41:25,709 --> 01:41:28,709 Here. To pay for all the damage at the lake house. 2079 01:41:28,793 --> 01:41:30,168 Where did you get this from? 2080 01:41:30,251 --> 01:41:32,668 I sold the Cabriolet. [chuckles] Time to grow up. 2081 01:41:33,251 --> 01:41:35,501 [crowd] Aw. 2082 01:41:35,584 --> 01:41:37,001 I am so proud of you. 2083 01:41:37,084 --> 01:41:38,209 Aw, thanks, Marth. 2084 01:41:39,043 --> 01:41:40,584 I'm so lucky to have you as a friend. 2085 01:41:41,459 --> 01:41:44,084 [crowd cheers and applauds] 2086 01:41:48,418 --> 01:41:49,376 Congrats, Steph. 2087 01:41:50,043 --> 01:41:50,876 Thanks. 2088 01:41:50,959 --> 01:41:53,376 [Martha] Now, to end our ceremony, I'd like to invite 2089 01:41:53,459 --> 01:41:57,709 our 2022 class valedictorian, Janet Singh. 2090 01:41:57,793 --> 01:42:00,126 -[laughs] -[crowd cheers and applauds] 2091 01:42:00,209 --> 01:42:01,876 -After you. -Thank you! 2092 01:42:01,959 --> 01:42:02,793 [cheers] 2093 01:42:05,126 --> 01:42:06,293 Go, Janet! 2094 01:42:08,626 --> 01:42:10,251 {\an8}Okay, listen up. 2095 01:42:10,334 --> 01:42:14,418 {\an8}It is hot as hell, and this ceremony is way too long. 2096 01:42:14,501 --> 01:42:16,709 So I'm just gonna say one thing. 2097 01:42:16,793 --> 01:42:19,834 Who you are in high school doesn't define you. 2098 01:42:20,709 --> 01:42:23,209 And I would also like to officially announce 2099 01:42:23,293 --> 01:42:25,626 my campaign for US president. 2100 01:42:25,709 --> 01:42:27,626 Vote for me in 2040. 2101 01:42:28,168 --> 01:42:29,168 Yay! 2102 01:42:29,251 --> 01:42:30,876 [crowd cheers and applauds] 2103 01:42:30,959 --> 01:42:32,126 [cheers] 2104 01:42:32,209 --> 01:42:35,959 And lastly, I have one question for all of you. 2105 01:42:37,043 --> 01:42:39,001 -Are you ready… -♪ Are you ready ♪ 2106 01:42:39,084 --> 01:42:40,834 -♪ For the Harding ♪ -…for the Harding… 2107 01:42:41,959 --> 01:42:44,043 -♪ Bulldogettes ♪ -…Bulldogettes? 2108 01:42:44,126 --> 01:42:46,584 ["Hot in Herre" by Nelly plays] 2109 01:42:46,668 --> 01:42:50,834 ♪ Oh, good gracious ass is bodacious Flirtatious, trying to show patience ♪ 2110 01:42:50,918 --> 01:42:53,876 -♪ And can't nobody stop the juice… ♪ -No way. Stephanie's Dance Grooves? 2111 01:42:53,959 --> 01:42:56,418 -♪ I said, it's gettin' hot in here ♪ -♪ So hot ♪ 2112 01:42:56,501 --> 01:42:58,043 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 2113 01:42:58,126 --> 01:43:01,834 ♪ I am gettin' so hot I wanna take my clothes off ♪ 2114 01:43:01,918 --> 01:43:04,043 -♪ It's gettin' hot in here ♪ -♪ So hot ♪ 2115 01:43:04,126 --> 01:43:05,793 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 2116 01:43:05,876 --> 01:43:09,293 ♪ I am gettin' so hot I wanna take my clothes off ♪ 2117 01:43:09,376 --> 01:43:11,584 ["Hot in Herre" by Nelly slows down] 2118 01:43:13,834 --> 01:43:16,834 -♪ Come on over, come on over, baby ♪ -[crowd cheers] 2119 01:43:17,793 --> 01:43:20,876 ♪ Come on over, come on, come on ♪ 2120 01:43:20,959 --> 01:43:22,501 ♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪ 2121 01:43:22,584 --> 01:43:24,626 [drum music plays] 2122 01:43:24,709 --> 01:43:26,001 -Ready? -[cheerleaders] Okay! 2123 01:43:26,084 --> 01:43:29,793 ♪ We are the Bulldogs We like it rough, rough, rough ♪ 2124 01:43:29,876 --> 01:43:33,084 ♪ No one can beat us No, we're too tough ♪ 2125 01:43:33,168 --> 01:43:34,334 -Strong arms! -♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 2126 01:43:34,418 --> 01:43:38,126 ♪ We fight to the finish We're in it to win it ♪ 2127 01:43:38,209 --> 01:43:41,626 -♪ Ah, yeah ♪ -♪ Moment, moment, moment ♪ 2128 01:43:41,709 --> 01:43:43,501 ["A Moment Like This" by Kelly Clarkson plays] 2129 01:43:43,584 --> 01:43:46,126 -♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪ -Okay, I have to go. 2130 01:43:47,001 --> 01:43:50,626 -Kelly Clarkson! [screams] -♪ For a moment like this ♪ 2131 01:43:50,709 --> 01:43:54,876 ♪ Some people search forever ♪ 2132 01:43:54,959 --> 01:43:58,001 ♪ For that one special kiss ♪ 2133 01:43:58,084 --> 01:44:04,376 ♪ Oh, I can't believe It's happening to me ♪ 2134 01:44:04,459 --> 01:44:08,168 ♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪ 2135 01:44:08,251 --> 01:44:12,543 ♪ For a moment, moment, moment ♪ 2136 01:44:12,626 --> 01:44:14,918 ["A Moment Like This" slows to a stop] 2137 01:44:21,959 --> 01:44:24,376 -[crowd cheers] -["A Moment Like This" resumes] 2138 01:44:25,251 --> 01:44:29,001 ♪ We are the Bulldogs We like it rough, rough, rough ♪ 2139 01:44:29,084 --> 01:44:31,751 ♪ No one can beat us No, we're too tough ♪ 2140 01:44:32,876 --> 01:44:35,793 ♪ We are the Bulldogs We are hot stuff ♪ 2141 01:44:36,543 --> 01:44:39,584 ♪ No one can beat us 'Cause we're enough ♪ 2142 01:44:40,459 --> 01:44:42,668 ♪ Yeah, yeah, we fight to the finish ♪ 2143 01:44:42,751 --> 01:44:44,459 ♪ We're in it to win it ♪ 2144 01:44:44,959 --> 01:44:48,626 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 2145 01:44:48,709 --> 01:44:52,251 ♪ Some people wait a lifetime ♪ 2146 01:44:52,334 --> 01:44:56,418 -♪ For a moment, moment, moment ♪ -♪ Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go ♪ 2147 01:44:56,501 --> 01:44:59,209 -♪ Like this ♪ -[crowd cheers and applauds] 2148 01:45:01,793 --> 01:45:04,626 Oh my God! [screams] Oh my God! 2149 01:45:04,709 --> 01:45:05,709 [all laughing] 2150 01:45:05,793 --> 01:45:07,001 [Seth laughs] 2151 01:45:08,168 --> 01:45:11,293 [sighs] Well, then, we should go out? 2152 01:45:12,043 --> 01:45:14,084 -No duh. -[both chuckle] 2153 01:45:14,793 --> 01:45:18,251 [crowd cheers] 2154 01:45:23,084 --> 01:45:25,918 ["C'est La Vie" by B*Witched plays] 2155 01:45:26,001 --> 01:45:28,084 ♪ Some people say I look like me dad ♪ 2156 01:45:29,293 --> 01:45:30,959 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 2157 01:45:32,168 --> 01:45:33,751 ♪ Hey, hey ♪ 2158 01:45:33,834 --> 01:45:35,168 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 2159 01:45:38,126 --> 01:45:39,584 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 2160 01:45:42,168 --> 01:45:45,043 ♪ I said, hey, boy Sittin' in your tree" ♪ 2161 01:45:45,126 --> 01:45:47,293 ♪ Mummy always wants you to come for tea ♪ 2162 01:45:47,376 --> 01:45:49,459 {\an8}♪ Don't be shy, straighten up your tie ♪ 2163 01:45:49,543 --> 01:45:52,001 {\an8}♪ Get down from your tree house Sittin' in the sky ♪ 2164 01:45:52,084 --> 01:45:53,876 {\an8}♪ I wanna know just what to do ♪ 2165 01:45:53,959 --> 01:45:56,293 {\an8}♪ Is it very big? Is there room for two? ♪ 2166 01:45:56,376 --> 01:45:58,251 {\an8}♪ I got a house with windows and doors ♪ 2167 01:45:58,334 --> 01:46:01,209 ♪ I'll show you mine If you show me yours ♪ 2168 01:46:01,293 --> 01:46:03,334 ♪ Gotta let me in ♪ 2169 01:46:03,418 --> 01:46:05,084 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 2170 01:46:05,168 --> 01:46:07,918 {\an8}♪ Let the fun begin ♪ 2171 01:46:08,501 --> 01:46:10,043 {\an8}♪ Hey ♪ 2172 01:46:10,126 --> 01:46:11,959 {\an8}♪ I'm the wolf today ♪ 2173 01:46:12,043 --> 01:46:13,626 {\an8}♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 2174 01:46:13,709 --> 01:46:18,126 {\an8}♪ I'll huff, I'll puff I'll huff, I'll puff, I'll blow you away ♪ 2175 01:46:18,209 --> 01:46:19,793 {\an8}♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪ 2176 01:46:19,876 --> 01:46:21,668 {\an8}♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪ 2177 01:46:21,751 --> 01:46:23,876 {\an8}♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪ 2178 01:46:25,001 --> 01:46:26,459 ♪ C'est la vie ♪ 2179 01:46:26,543 --> 01:46:28,251 {\an8}♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪ 2180 01:46:28,334 --> 01:46:30,459 {\an8}♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪ 2181 01:46:30,543 --> 01:46:33,751 {\an8}-♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪ -♪ Get a life… ♪ 2182 01:46:33,834 --> 01:46:36,043 {\an8}[Blaine] Who doesn't want a Hummer on their big night? 2183 01:46:36,126 --> 01:46:37,584 {\an8}Not me. [chuckles] 2184 01:46:37,668 --> 01:46:40,126 {\an8}♪ Do you ever get lonely Playing with your toys? ♪ 2185 01:46:40,209 --> 01:46:41,918 {\an8}-♪ We can talk, we can sing ♪ -[screams] 2186 01:46:42,001 --> 01:46:44,918 {\an8}-♪ I'll be the queen… ♪ -[Lance] I love belly button play. 2187 01:46:45,001 --> 01:46:47,918 {\an8}I really wanna get spit-roasted by two leather daddies. 2188 01:46:48,001 --> 01:46:50,918 Never before. I'm sex… sex nothing. 2189 01:46:51,001 --> 01:46:53,918 {\an8}-[laughs] Stop. -Okay, all righty. 2190 01:46:54,001 --> 01:46:55,834 {\an8}-[laughs] -♪ Gotta let me in ♪ 2191 01:46:55,918 --> 01:46:58,001 {\an8}♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 2192 01:46:58,084 --> 01:47:00,501 -[laughs] -♪ Let the fun begin ♪ 2193 01:47:00,584 --> 01:47:01,793 -A-mark. -♪ Hey ♪ 2194 01:47:01,876 --> 01:47:02,834 B-mark. 2195 01:47:02,918 --> 01:47:04,584 ♪ I'm the wolf today ♪ 2196 01:47:04,668 --> 01:47:06,459 {\an8}♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 2197 01:47:06,543 --> 01:47:07,959 {\an8}♪ I'll huff, I'll puff… ♪ 2198 01:47:08,043 --> 01:47:09,918 {\an8}I'm making a love heart sign. 2199 01:47:10,001 --> 01:47:11,418 {\an8}♪ I'll blow you away… ♪ 2200 01:47:11,501 --> 01:47:13,793 {\an8}What am I doing? I'm just making a love heart. 2201 01:47:13,876 --> 01:47:15,668 {\an8}Welcome to Book Corner with Sam Richardson. 2202 01:47:15,751 --> 01:47:17,001 {\an8}♪ Say to me ♪ 2203 01:47:17,084 --> 01:47:18,334 {\an8}-♪ Yeah… ♪ -Oh. 2204 01:47:18,418 --> 01:47:19,709 {\an8}Oppa Gangnam Style. 2205 01:47:19,793 --> 01:47:21,543 {\an8}-Oppa. Oppa. -Oppa Gangnam Style. 2206 01:47:22,418 --> 01:47:23,376 {\an8}Yeah, very fast. 2207 01:47:23,459 --> 01:47:26,209 {\an8}-♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪ -♪ What do you know? ♪ 2208 01:47:26,793 --> 01:47:28,834 {\an8}♪ C'est la vie ♪ 2209 01:47:38,001 --> 01:47:38,876 {\an8}♪ Hey, hey ♪ 2210 01:47:38,959 --> 01:47:40,418 {\an8}♪ Na-na-na-eh ♪ 2211 01:47:41,251 --> 01:47:42,626 {\an8}♪ Na-na-na-oh ♪ 2212 01:47:43,293 --> 01:47:44,793 ♪ Na-na-na-eh ♪ 2213 01:47:45,376 --> 01:47:47,751 {\an8}♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪ 2214 01:47:47,834 --> 01:47:49,751 {\an8}♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪ 2215 01:47:49,834 --> 01:47:51,959 {\an8}♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪ 2216 01:47:52,043 --> 01:47:54,126 {\an8}♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪ 2217 01:47:54,209 --> 01:47:56,543 ♪ Wanna say c'est la vie ♪ 2218 01:47:56,626 --> 01:47:58,459 ♪ Say you will, say you won't ♪ 2219 01:47:58,543 --> 01:48:00,751 ♪ Say you'll do what I don't ♪ 2220 01:48:00,834 --> 01:48:02,709 ♪ Say you're true, say to me ♪ 2221 01:48:02,793 --> 01:48:04,168 ♪ Fight like me dad as well ♪ 2222 01:48:04,251 --> 01:48:06,168 ♪ C'est la vie ♪ 2223 01:48:07,626 --> 01:48:10,043 -♪ Na-na-na-oh ♪ -♪ C'est la vie ♪ 2224 01:48:10,126 --> 01:48:11,459 {\an8}♪ Na-na-na-eh ♪ 2225 01:48:11,959 --> 01:48:14,209 {\an8}-♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ -♪ C'est la vie ♪ 2226 01:48:14,293 --> 01:48:16,751 ["C'est La Vie" by B*Witched ends] 2227 01:48:16,834 --> 01:48:21,251 I really do want to go to college. So what do I need to do? 2228 01:48:21,334 --> 01:48:24,751 I… [laughs] I would do anything. I mean, not… 2229 01:48:24,834 --> 01:48:25,751 Oh. 2230 01:48:25,834 --> 01:48:29,751 Sorry, I just… Yeah, I… I meant… anything. 2231 01:48:31,168 --> 01:48:33,584 No, I didn't… Sorry. I didn't mean that. I meant… 2232 01:48:33,668 --> 01:48:36,709 Oh my God. I meant I will do anything… 2233 01:48:38,543 --> 01:48:40,334 -Oh my God. -…non-sexually. 2234 01:48:40,418 --> 01:48:44,918 Oh, good, good. Don't ever resort to that unless you have to. 2235 01:48:45,001 --> 01:48:47,709 And if that's what you wanna do with your life, then do it, 2236 01:48:47,793 --> 01:48:50,668 but don't do it with me. I'm terrible in bed. 2237 01:48:51,168 --> 01:48:52,293 [inhales] 2238 01:48:53,084 --> 01:48:55,251 [both laughing] 2239 01:48:55,334 --> 01:48:57,043 ["So Strong" by Olivier Bibeau plays] 2240 01:48:57,126 --> 01:49:01,001 ♪ If this is all I need And all I believe in ♪ 2241 01:49:01,084 --> 01:49:04,918 ♪ Will you keep singing Keep on moving forever? ♪ 2242 01:49:05,001 --> 01:49:08,834 ♪ I've got this feeling And I'm better than free ♪ 2243 01:49:08,918 --> 01:49:11,418 ♪ I'll keep on singing, keep on moving ♪ 2244 01:49:11,501 --> 01:49:12,751 ♪ Remember ♪ 2245 01:49:12,834 --> 01:49:14,709 ♪ Yeah, I'm waking up and go-go ♪ 2246 01:49:14,793 --> 01:49:16,543 ♪ Yeah, got me going loco ♪ 2247 01:49:16,626 --> 01:49:18,126 ♪ This is all I want ♪ 2248 01:49:18,209 --> 01:49:20,126 ♪ The beat is so strong ♪ 2249 01:49:20,209 --> 01:49:22,584 ♪ Yeah, I'm waking up and go-go ♪ 2250 01:49:22,668 --> 01:49:24,584 ♪ Yeah, got me going loco ♪ 2251 01:49:24,668 --> 01:49:26,043 ♪ This is all I want ♪ 2252 01:49:26,126 --> 01:49:28,376 ♪ The beat is so strong ♪ 2253 01:49:29,501 --> 01:49:31,251 ♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪ 2254 01:49:31,334 --> 01:49:33,168 ♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪ 2255 01:49:33,251 --> 01:49:35,126 ♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪ 2256 01:49:35,209 --> 01:49:37,709 ♪ Got me dancing all night long ♪ 2257 01:49:37,793 --> 01:49:41,293 ♪ I'm waking up and go No, never taking it slow ♪ 2258 01:49:41,376 --> 01:49:45,209 ♪ Will you keep talking Keep on grooving forever? ♪ 2259 01:49:45,293 --> 01:49:49,126 ♪ I've got this feeling And I'm higher than free ♪ 2260 01:49:49,209 --> 01:49:51,418 ♪ I'll keep on living Keep on moving ♪ 2261 01:49:51,501 --> 01:49:53,001 ♪ Remember ♪ 2262 01:49:53,084 --> 01:49:55,084 ♪ Yeah, I'm waking up and go-go ♪ 2263 01:49:55,168 --> 01:49:57,084 ♪ Yeah, got me going loco ♪ 2264 01:49:57,168 --> 01:49:58,418 ♪ This is all I want ♪ 2265 01:49:58,501 --> 01:50:00,293 ♪ The beat is so strong ♪ 2266 01:50:01,043 --> 01:50:02,751 ♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪ 2267 01:50:02,834 --> 01:50:04,501 ♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪ 2268 01:50:04,584 --> 01:50:06,626 ♪ Uh, ah-ah ♪ 2269 01:50:06,709 --> 01:50:08,876 ♪ Got me dancing all night long ♪ 2270 01:50:08,959 --> 01:50:10,126 ♪ This is all I want ♪ 2271 01:50:10,209 --> 01:50:12,251 ♪ The beat is so strong ♪ 2272 01:50:12,334 --> 01:50:14,001 ♪ The beat is so strong ♪ 2273 01:50:14,084 --> 01:50:17,043 ♪ Got me dancing all night long ♪ 2274 01:50:17,668 --> 01:50:19,084 ["Outta Patience" plays] 2275 01:50:19,168 --> 01:50:20,293 ♪ Let me talk it out ♪ 2276 01:50:21,668 --> 01:50:22,543 ♪ Yeah ♪ 2277 01:50:23,334 --> 01:50:24,668 ♪ Listen up right here ♪ 2278 01:50:26,251 --> 01:50:30,209 ♪ Lately, I've been picking Picking up on you ♪ 2279 01:50:30,293 --> 01:50:34,501 ♪ Oh, every time you come around There's something new ♪ 2280 01:50:34,584 --> 01:50:38,709 ♪ So let me in your mind Yeah, let me read the room ♪ 2281 01:50:38,793 --> 01:50:43,334 ♪ Yeah, we can work it out If we just let it loose ♪ 2282 01:50:44,751 --> 01:50:45,584 ♪ You know ♪ 2283 01:50:46,668 --> 01:50:48,168 ♪ All I've got to say is ♪ 2284 01:50:50,251 --> 01:50:52,001 ♪ I'm running outta patience ♪ 2285 01:50:52,084 --> 01:50:53,251 ♪ He-hey ♪ 2286 01:50:54,626 --> 01:50:56,293 ♪ No more playing ♪ 2287 01:50:56,793 --> 01:50:58,418 ♪ You hear what I'm saying? ♪ 2288 01:50:58,501 --> 01:51:00,584 ♪ I'm running outta I'm running outta ♪ 2289 01:51:00,668 --> 01:51:02,084 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 2290 01:51:02,751 --> 01:51:04,834 ♪ No misbehaving ♪ 2291 01:51:04,918 --> 01:51:07,001 ♪ 'Cause I'm running outta patience ♪ 2292 01:51:07,084 --> 01:51:09,626 ♪ I'm running outta I'm running outta ♪ 2293 01:51:15,584 --> 01:51:18,043 ♪ I'm running outta I'm running outta ♪ 2294 01:51:19,043 --> 01:51:19,918 ♪ You know ♪ 2295 01:51:20,918 --> 01:51:22,543 ♪ All I've got to say is ♪ 2296 01:51:24,543 --> 01:51:26,251 ♪ I'm running outta patience ♪ 2297 01:51:28,459 --> 01:51:30,793 ♪ I'm running outta I'm running outta ♪ 2298 01:51:37,209 --> 01:51:39,376 ♪ I'm running outta I'm running outta ♪ 2299 01:51:39,459 --> 01:51:40,709 ["Outta Patience" ends]