- Previously, on
"The Real Housewives of Potomac"...
- I am gonna invite the girls to go to Miami.
- We've had some good times in Miami.
It's X-rated. [laughing]
They don't know what that means.
- I saw the breaking news.
- I have no clue who could have possibly thought
that it would be okay
to tell my personal, intimate business to a blog.
- This is a highly anticipated chapter,
and I'm excited for you.
Ashley doesn't need old balls.
She deserves young, tight ones.
I'm manifesting a new chapter for her.
- Welcome to "The Burn Session."
- Ooh.
- The goal is to take ownership of whatever is said to you.
- Please don't tell anyone I tried to fight you anymore
because that is not who I am.
- You're gonna stand in your mother----in' truth.
Stand on it. Period. - I'm standing on it.
- Sit down.
- You are horrible! - She's lying.
- Maybe you should control your emotions.
- I don't give a (BLEEP)! I don't give a (BLEEP)!
I'm out.
- You want to say that my husband--
- Good to see you.
- Made you feel uncomfortable. - One hundred percent.
**
- A friend was at the spring party.
- Mm-hmm.
- She said that Chris was being a little bit flirty with her.
- Chris is not doing any of these.
- He did. - He's not--
he's not doing these things. - Just remember...
the pendulum always swings the other way, okay?
It-it don't feel good, huh?
- Aha. There it is. There it is!
- What did she say?
- Everything you do comes from a place of vindictiveness.
- No! - Nastiness.
- No! - And evilness.
- Girl, as I said--
- You're a lying-ass, vindictive bitch!
- I've also heard that Chris has been in some other DMs
that are not quite as innocuous and innocent as mine,
just so you know. - Ashley, your husband...
Do you-- do you wanna-- - ...likes to leave you...
- ...and go to a man named (BLEEP)'s house...
and suck his dick. - Oh!
[laughing]
- Are you veering off the path?
- So-so, let's not. - Is this deflection?
- 'Cause Chris ain't suckin' no dicks.
- Are you deflecting? - I'm sick to my stomach.
We're sucking a (BLEEP).
We can't do that. - Um, no.
[deep sigh]
- I was not supposed to talk about
this-this-- this person.
Um, but he says,
Michael Darby is a client of his.
And that's what your ass get 'cause I was holdin' onto that.
You wanted smoke. So... pffft-- Here!
You need to watch what you say.
- I know what I said. - You're making sh-- up.
- I'm not. - Can we burn it? Next caller.
- You-- see, this is the problem.
- I'm done. - The problem is--
- I heard-- I hear everything about Michael.
I process. I deal. - Uh-huh.
- You're not hearing. - Because you come from--
- He's done. - Let's burn it.
- ...a decrepit, disrespectful marriage
where you all-- - Just remember...
the pendulum always swings the other way, okay?
- Oh, no, no, honey. We don't have it over here.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We know the Lord.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - So, over here, we don't do that.
- Hey, hey, hey, I appreciate you ladies.
- Yes. - Thank you.
- Thank you for having us, Wendy.
- Uh, I think so. That's it. That's it. No.
- I don't-- I mean, this-this-this is too much.
- Mia, we don't need nothing else. Let's get up.
- I'm good.
- I'm gonna get out.
- Bye, Mia. Thank you so much for coming.
I appreciate it. [laughing]
- Thank you for having us. - Okay.
- I have wine.
- Lord.
- They wouldn't let me bring the bottle,
but they let me take the glass.
[laughing] Are you okay?
- I-I'm tired. - I'm fine. I couldn't--
Our Uber is, like, still 30 minutes out.
- Are you okay? Who rode together?
- Here is my thing, Wendy.
And I know it got hostile, right?
- No, you're fine.
- But I wanted to bring it up, especially in front of Gizelle.
- Why did you wanna bring it up in front of Gizelle?
- Because when I was at Candiace's house,
she kept saying, "Gizelle is just being phony,
and she's just saying all of this
because she just wants to say it in front of the group."
All I was saying to her is, with Mia saying that,
you know, he was looking at her,
and with this information from my friend,
maybe he needs to do just a little check and say,
maybe I'm, like, being a little too friendly.
[sighs]
- I think we're gonna get outta here.
- While I have you-- - Yes. Oh, okay, yes.
- I wanted to talk to you. - Um, look at the view.
Did you see the view? - It's lovely.
So, um, I wanted to talk to you one on one.
- Great. - Yes.
- 'Cause I wasn't gonna interject in that.
- Uh-huh.
The last time that we spoke, I had to get up and leave.
- Right.
- But I wanted to make sure that I was clear
on understanding your feelings
and where you are.
You mentioned that you all went into your dressing room,
you and Chris. - Yeah.
- And you were uncomfortable.
- Right, correct.
- So, what exactly made you uncomfortable?
- I'm in a room... - Mm-hmm.
- ...with a man that does not belong to me.
- Right. - And the door is closed.
- Right.
- And so, I asked him to go outside,
and he immediately did.
That's it, and I thought you should know.
- So, you're saying that he suggested
that you all go talk in your room.
- Yes.
- 'Cause he said that he asked you to talk,
and you suggested that you go to your room.
- No.
- I said, "Gizelle, can we talk?"
And she said, "Yeah, let's go to my room."
- So, she suggested going to your room.
- Uh, 99% sure that that's how that went down.
- And when you got into the room, he said,
"Should we leave the door open?"
- There was nobody in there. - Right.
- So, I even suggested leave the door open.
I don't need anybody, you know, suggesting anything else,
you know, happened. - Right.
- And she was like, "Yeah, I don't need any rumors
like that going on about me either."
- I don't recall- recall him saying.
- Uh-huh. - If he said that,
then he knew this was inappropriate.
- That there implies some sort of malintent,
for you to say,
"Well, Chris knew that no one was in the room,
and he still lured me in."
- I didn't say, "Lured." - That's the intent.
- I didn't say that word, Candiace.
- "He lured me into the room to talk to me."
Do you believe that he had malintent?
- I don't know, Candiace.
It is as simple as,
I do not wanna be in a room with a married man.
Chris is maybe doing things that he feels comfortable with,
but the ladies don't.
- Ashley says that, at the spring party,
that Chris came on to someone else.
- Okay. Who?
What did-- did she-- was she specific?
- No, she wasn't.
- I'm not vindictive,
and I'm not trying to be vindictive.
That narrative has to stop.
When I saw my friend yesterday--
- Who was at the party. - Who was at the party,
and she asked me if they're still together, okay?
- Deborah is a friend of mine who I met at my mom group.
- Are you inviting all the girls
to the dance class? - I think so.
- Even Candiace? - Yeah.
No, Candiace and I are good, you know?
- That's good.
- I'm not good at sitting on those things.
I feel that it was important to tell her.
- You could have called me. - No, no.
- And you didn't because you wanted to wait
for an opportunity to do it on a platform
that would cause the most hurt to someone
who hasn't been anything but kind to you.
- That's not true. That's not true.
- And that is what's ----ed up.
- Candiace, that's not true. - That is what's ----ed up.
You are the reason that people cannot come forward
with sexual assault allegations.
- What? - Because you say things
that have no basis and no back.
- So, what I just said had-- you said you understand.
Now, it has no basis? - I-I-I understand.
- Are you kidding?
I'm the reason why women don't come forward?
Absolutely not.
If anything, I'm being an advocate
for women to come forward with their truth
'cause I ain't lyin'.
Um, okay.
- Okay. [sighs]
- Cheers to you hosting an event, and I--
you really made a good effort.
- Aww. - You really did.
- Aww, thank you.
- Yeah, for better or for worse.
- Hmm.
Oh, you drank the whole thing.
- I did. - Oh, you're a monster.
Okay, wait. - I'm not a mon--
[laughing] Rrrarrr.
- Are we going to the van?
It's incredibly hurtful to me
how Gizelle can act as if she doesn't understand
how damaging what she is saying is.
She is an evil (BLEEP),
and I refuse to have my intelligence tap danced on.
So, go to hell.
- Ashley droppin' bombs on people.
Good God almighty!
Her girlfriend said that Chris propositioned her at the bar,
was feeling her butt. - Huh?
- Yes, at the spring fling. Let's just be clear,
the winery was a disaster, and Wendy can't own sh--.
- Coming up next.
- So, he has said that he would send me,
like, a proposal, so that we could keep it fair.
- It's always the person who holds the cards financially
who wants to just quickly do this without attorneys.
- How did it turn into a argument?
How did we get there?
- So, Ashley said what she has said.
Then Candiace said, "You need to worry about your husband,
and (BLEEP), and the dick suckin'
in a hotel," I think.
- I'll be honest.
She told me about that years ago.
**
- Oh, my God, my hands are sweaty.
Hi. - Hi. How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?
- Do you have an appointment with Miss Thomas?
- Yes, I do.
- I'll let her know.
You can take a seat right here in the meantime.
- Okay. All right. Thank you.
[sighs]
I finally decided to fold and see an attorney
after everyone in my life insisted that I see an attorney.
- You don't wanna be in the position
where this guy is pulling your strings
for your future. - Understood.
- You need a lawyer. - Miss Darby?
- Yes, hi. - Hi. I'm Michelle Thomas.
It's so nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, as well.
Sorry. My hands are a little sweaty.
I'm a little nervous.
Even if I am expecting that it's gonna be great,
and we're gonna be respectful of each other,
I think that the reality of the situation
is that things could go awry.
- Just, you know, feel comfortable,
and I'm here to help you.
So, what were some of the things that brought you to this point?
- Well, we started our relationship,
we were a little looser in relation to our sex life,
and I am a bisexual woman, so, you know,
that was just something that we enjoyed together.
- Mm-hmm.
- But then after I had my kids,
I just didn't want to do that anymore.
- Yeah. That changes a lot.
- I just, you know, I thought, like,
we would just always be on the same page.
- Yeah. - Maybe I was just being naive.
- And that's the-- that's the hard part about marriage,
is that you can only control yourself.
So, you know, the other issues you haven't mentioned,
but, of course, there's child support.
There's possibly alimony.
So, one question I have for you is,
is there a prenup? - Yes, we have a prenup.
- Okay.
- So, obviously, any wealth that he made
prior to us being married would remain his.
Our eighth anniversary was last month.
So, that means, like, anything he's made
would be considered marital property.
- Okay.
- But you have to separate for a year
in the state of Virginia. - Mm-hmm.
- So, we're, like, legally separated
in the state of Virginia. - Okay.
So, yeah, you can be separated, still living together,
as long as you've formed the intent
for the marriage, yeah, to be--
- Yeah, and we don't sleep in the same room.
Well, the biggest thing is, we've talked about
to start the process outside of using attorneys.
So, he has said that he would send me, like,
a proposal so that we could keep it fair.
- So, the only issue is, you have to know
whether you can trust him to be forthcoming about
all that should be included in the marital pot
in order to divide it equitably.
If, in fact, he is the primary breadwinner--
would you say that is the case? - Yes.
- Okay. Then you're not in a position
to consider anything he puts in front of you
without there being some exchange
of financial data, some analysis.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm open to a proposal because I do think that it will be fair.
I'm gonna give Michael the benefit of the doubt.
And in the event that it's skewed
or that I feel like he's trying to bamboozle me,
then we'll scrap the proposal,
and I'll just proceed with the lawyer,
but I would just rather wait until I'm a little closer
along to the divorce.
I mean, I have to be separated for a year.
I just would rather, like, you know, get a little closer,
maybe, like, five-five months out.
Um... [sighs]
I'm stalling. Let's just be real.
- It's always the person who holds the cards financially
who wants to just quickly do this without attorneys.
- Mm-hmm.
- But you know when you're done.
[sighs]
So, if there's unfinished business...
- Well, there is one thing. [sighs]
Is it better to buy a house together,
or should I just buy the house in my name
and then, like, work it out at the end?
- Buying a house together, at this point,
would probably not be the best next step.
If the source of funds was your spouse,
if there's nothing in writing that says, like,
this is a gift to you, and he's waiving his interest--
- Mm-hmm.
- He could, down the road, try to stake a claim
even though it's titled in your name.
- Okay.
- Hopefully, you know, he'll sign something, and it's--
- I think he will. - Yeah.
- Oh, my goodness, all right.
Well, this has been very, very informative.
You know, I do a lotta Googling.
- Okay.
- And talking to you and Google, they just don't compare.
- Yeah, totally.
I didn't get my degree on Google, so...
[laughing]
**
- Hi, ladies. - Hi.
Welcome to the Courted Spa. - Thank you.
So, I have a couple friends that are gonna come, as well,
so Charrisse and Jacqueline. - Okay.
Go ahead and have a seat. - Wonderful. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Hi, honey. I miss you.
Where you been my whole life? - You look snatched, bitch.
- Well, I've been at the gym. - Honey, I've been at the gym.
- You've been on the beach. - You're catching up.
Jacqueline and I have been friends--
oh, God-- since high school.
She hated me in the beginning, but once she realized
that I actually am, you know, a rider,
we've been inseparable since.
I have her back. She got mine.
Hi, honey! - Hi!
- Hey. - Hi.
I love Charrisse.
I think her whole, "Oh, darling,
I'm Charrisse with two R's and two S's,"
is just a vibe.
- Brown hair-- don't care.
- I love that her eyelashes are sliding in her face
half the time, and she don't care.
Hashtag-- don't give two ----s.
So, we're gonna get pedicures, and I did have someone
grab some champagne.
- Oh, you didn't have to. [laughing]
- I wanted to. - But you will not refuse.
- Thank you. [laughing]
So, I have a-a question for you. - Uh-huh.
- How is your health? - Aww, thank you.
- Like, how is everything going with you?
- Everything is good for now, right?
I still have the swollen lymph node,
and I still have the lump that we are going to remove,
but it's not urgent to where I have to do it right now.
So, I'm just gonna stay on top of it all,
and I got so many things to do in this world.
- Talk about the charities and the foster care.
- Yeah. - And that--
I've always told her, I'm like, Mia--
- Her mother took me in, which is why we're still close.
- Oh, wow. - Yeah, my mom fostered her.
Yeah.
- So, where was your biological mom?
- So, at the time-- my mom has drug abuse issues.
- Mm-hmm. - Wow.
- My father ended up prison, and, um, he died in prison.
- Mm-hmm. - She was there.
- Mm-hmm.
- You actually came with me to the hospital.
- Mm-hmm.
I mean, we're like sisters. We fight like sisters.
We make up like sisters.
Like, you don't really know her journey,
but it took a lot to get her here.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yay! - There it is, and it's rose.
- Yes. - I love me some rose, honey.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, love.
- All right. I'm gonna do a toast.
- Okay. - I have an announcement.
- Okay. - Get excited.
- I am super excited. - All right.
So, I need you ladies to get ready
because we're gonna go down to the MIA.
- Oh, yeah. - Ahh!
- Cheers! - Bienvenidos a Miami!
Yes. - Yes.
I'm actually taking the girls
to a different state, right? Let's start there.
We're gonna stay in a house, five-star, on the harbor.
I think these girls deserve it. I think it'll be good for us.
But, yeah, let's have some fun. [laughing]
- Okay, Mia. Okay, first class boss lady.
- I'm recording new music, so I'm coming a little bit late,
but Trina is in Miami.
I need to get this deal sealed with Trina,
and I'll see the girls when I get there.
- I am so excited about going to Miami.
However, it's on my actual 5-9 birthday.
Mia says, "Karen, don't worry.
I got you for your birthday, girl.
We're gonna have a good time."
Don't make me regret it, Mia. Please don't.
- So, where are we staying?
- I do have a house that I have rented, six bedrooms.
- Six bedrooms and how many people?
- Nine girls. - Oh.
So, three people are gonna share a room.
- I probably, more than likely,
will let you pick your room, um, for sure.
- Oh, oh, snap. Mm-hmm.
- So, and the ones that I don't like so much,
like Wendy, good luck. Wendy needs help, okay?
She doesn't have to give off a aura
of where she's trying to, like, prove herself in this world.
I see through it, actually. I saw through it since day one.
But is that what you had done, were your boobs?
- I had my boobs done, and I had other tweaks.
How about you? What have you had done?
- Oh, everything, honey.
- Because it seems like you've had a lot of stuff done.
- Clearly, she's unhappy at home. So--
- No, sweetie, you're unhappy at home.
That's why you need to get your clit fixed.
- Ahh! - Girl.
- Are you talking? Shut up.
- I can't stand her.
She talks a lotta sh-- but guess what.
She's invited.
I really, really want us to have some fun.
- Are we gonna have fun?
- I want us to show that we can come together.
- Yeah, we have to--
- And be, like, a good girl friend group.
- Positive vibes. - Yes.
- Coming up next.
- We know it's my birthday week, right?
Good morning, Charrisse.
**
- Kamrynn, you're scratching my floors.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are. - No.
- Okay, you wanna go with daddy?
- Hey, baby.
- Hey, honey bun. - Hey, Kamrynn.
- You want me to feed you?
How are you, love? - I'm good.
- What you up to?
- I'm trying to journal.
I think sometimes we get so bogged down
in how we're not happy about things
that we don't think about the things
that did make us happy.
So, today, I wrote one of the things I was grateful for
was my mom being out of the hospital.
Two days ago, I got a call.
My mom was rushed to the hospital.
My mom went to a routine doctor's appointment.
They did some labs on her.
Certain things were elevated, so they admitted her.
It's just a cautionary tale
of just me taking care of myself.
- Seeing your mom is like an eye-opening experience
'cause maybe you're, like, I'm working too damn hard.
I need to chill out.
- Mommy. - Hey, baby girl.
I've never appreciated anything I've done
in the-- in-- on this journey.
I just feel like it's another checkmark.
- Right. - But now, I'm starting
to, like, stop and smell the tulips.
- I love it, I love it. - I'm trying, baby.
- Which leads me to this topic.
- What? - Of you taking on too much.
What's up with the restaurant idea that you had?
- All the Nigerian restaurants have now closed down,
so I wanna fill that void.
- It's gonna cost around $1.5 million.
- It's a financial investment. - Yeah.
- And it's gonna put a big strain on your finances.
It is too much. You got a full plate.
You need to cool out.
- You know what? I'm not gonna lie.
It will put a strain on my finances.
If I'm being honest, it's on pause.
I wanna address the things-- - What's in front of ya,
like, yeah. - Yeah, I'm gonna address
what's in front of me. - Pressing.
- So, I had the burn session with the ladies.
- Okay.
- I just wanted to all talk openly
about how we feel about each other.
I went first.
I sat there and let each of them say what they wanted to say.
- Okay.
- And then all hell broke loose.
[laughing]
- Did you take accountability for anything?
- I did. - What'd you do?
- I own the role I played
in making you feel as though we are oil and water.
- You know what you did to her!
- It was a Wendy roast session.
And now, Mia sent us a text inviting us to Miami.
- So, y'all are going to Miami, now.
Y'all are gonna be, what, kumbaya now?
- Even though I'm not in the best place
with some of the women in this group,
I love Miami.
I'm not passing up on no girls trip.
No, they will deal.
I will be there.
- Y'all ladies are drama, drama, drama.
[laughing]
**
- Ooh, chile, why it so cold?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Cute!
- How are you doin' today? - I'm good.
I'm going to Miami.
I'm gonna act like a 25-year-old.
- Heck yeah, okay. - Drunk and scantily dressed.
- Oh, my God.
Why is it so cold? - Daisy Dukes on.
Oh, my gosh, girl. - Hi.
Why is it so cold? [laughing]
- I want some new glasses.
Oh, this is cute.
I like this with the pants.
Yeah. - That's really cute.
That's perfect.
This is like a dress.
- Oh, this is cute.
Listen, I'm not thinking about these girls
and this drama at all.
[sighs]
Miami is all about hot girls,
and that is what I want to feel.
Fabulous.
- Just a little too, too short.
- And twerkin', and my twerk is not good.
It's like a African twerk. It's like a unh.
- That is not a African dance.
[laughing]
- Okay, okay. - That's how she do.
But in Miami, it's really good, okay?
Think we're gonna need some candles
to, like, sage the house?
Okay, what's gonna happen on this trip?
Like, Candiace wants to get a machete
and chop Ashley into a million pieces.
- I know. - Um--
- Uh, don't Candiace have enough?
- To deal with
out here in these streets? - Yeah, yeah.
- Candiace and I need to discuss her husband and these tweets.
- Well, I talked to her about that.
Who is he tweeting about? Gizelle? Ashley?
- He was set off by Ashley,
and he was pissed.
Like, he got really hurt.
- What a cute store!
- Hi, girl. - How are you?
- I'm good. - I love your hair.
- Well, thank you. - Hey, hi.
- How are you? - Very good.
Michael has been away. He's in the Bahamas.
- Like, are you guys cordial? Are you contentious?
- No, it's not contentious, very cordial.
- Yeah.
- Okay, yeah.
- We started money the other day.
- That's my favorite subject. [laughing]
Ashley is gonna get the button.
[laughing] Ze bag.
- I'm not getting the bag.
I asked about the LLC, right?
- Yeah. - Oh.
- So, I was like, "Is the LLC made yet?"
He's like, "No, of course, it's not made.
I wouldn't make something without talking to you first."
And he was like, "How dare you insinuate
that I would try to sneak something in front of you?"
And I'm like, "That's not what I said.
I didn't think you would sneak anything."
- I thought you were saying y'all had one already.
- I thought you already had one.
- I found a house.
- You've made an offer. - Yes, I made an offer.
- And did you make it in the LLC with Michael
or by yourself? - Right.
- I made it in the LLC.
- By yourself? - With Michael.
- This is not no damn divorce!
- I was under the impression that it was made already.
It's not. - Oh.
- So, then-- - So, now I don't have to necessarily do it.
I did talk to an attorney about it.
She advised against it.
- Oh, so, do we make a little more sense?
Do you-- - So, hello?
- Do you understand where we were coming from
and why we thought everything out of your mouth
was whack-ado? - A little weird.
- Ashley, I don't understand any of your stories anymore
because you did tell us you had an LLC
wit' your husband.
Now, you don't.
You are pretty. You are smart.
You are important, okay?
You don't need this man.
So, let's get a divorce, please.
Okay, we're going to Miami-ness.
- Oh, oh, no. Oh, sorry.
- We're gonna put you and Candiace in the same room.
[laughing] - Okay, yes.
You know, I heard that you brought up, you know,
somethin' about your friend and Chris.
So, how did it turn into a argument?
How did we get there?
- So, Ashley said what she has said.
Then Candiace said, "You need to worry about your husband
and (BLEEP) and the dick suckin' in a hotel, I think."
- Just so you know-- - Your husband
likes to leave you--
- Do you-- do you wanna-- do you-- do you--
- And go to a man named (BLEEP)'s house
and suck his dick.
- Oh!
- I'll be honest, she told me about that years ago.
- Who is she, and what is-- who is (BLEEP)?
- (BLEEP) is the male that apparently--
this is not my story to tell.
- No, you have to tell me now. We-we-we've already--
- Candiace told it.
- She told me on the phone in private
that she knows a high end private escort
that Michael has, um,
solicited services from. - Partook.
- Um, interesting.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I mean, I don't care, and I-I don't believe it still.
So... - Yeah.
- So, years ago, Candiace deliberately said,
"You know, I know about this,
but I'm not gonna bring it up."
But I guess Candiace said to hell with that.
- Listen, I'm not putting anything past anybody,
especially Michael Darby.
- I have never heard these (BLEEP) rumors!
Now, does (BLEEP) look like Juan Dixon
'cause we know Michael likes a little Juan-Juan?
- You heard the sentence, "I would suck Juan's dick."
That's what you heard.
- Um, I remember Michael and Ashley
walking past us, and I heard,
"Yeah, I would suck his dick."
- And Michael denies saying it, right?
- Michael does not remember saying anything like this.
- Okay.
- If you look anything like Juan Dixon,
the rumors are true.
(BLEEP), you exist. Ha-ha!
So, I leave. Candiace is on my heels,
and we have a very nice conversation.
It was nice in my mind.
Like, this could've all been dealt with
and forgotten about,
but I can't forget about it now
because your husband is on Twitter saying I'm a liar.
- We know her behavior activity on Twitter.
He does the same thing.
She's taking that to him. That's the only person he has
to, you know-- the only story that he has.
She's dramatizing everything to him.
- Yes!
It's difficult to figure out this dynamic
between Chris and his wife named Candiace,
but she's not putting a stop to it.
That's clear.
At this point, I don't ever wanna talk
to that guy named Chris, ever.
Ever!
He can come in here, right now,
and I'll be like, "Chris, (BLEEP) you."
- Coming up next...
- So, Gizelle, are you dating?
- Mm-hmm. - What age group are you in?
- I would like a little young boy.
[laughing] - Oh, you want a young boy.
**
- Hi!
Hi!
I love Miami. I do.
Miami is alive. It's fun.
You have all these sexy, beautiful women
that are half naked roaming the streets,
and it's all gravy, right? It's my kinda city, M.I.A.
It's Karen's birthday.
The girls clearly need to get up out of this area,
and who doesn't have fun in Miami?
- I didn't get the shade memo.
- American?
Okay. - Good morning, Charrisse.
How are you, darling? - Very good. Thank you.
- Fantastic. - Good to see you.
- Glad you made it.
We know it's my birthday week, right?
- Uh, yes, we do. - Yes.
- If it were up to me, would Charrisse be invited
to my birthday trip? No, but this--
I'm not the host.
All indicators are, this is a girls trip,
and she's lumped my birthday into it,
but I'm-I'm gonna roll with it.
- Uh-uh, 5-9.
- I love that. - Five-nine.
- How do you make your booty do that? Be like the--
- Hi, hi. - Good morning.
**
- Okay, ladies, I have two SUVs out front
waiting for us. - Okay, okay.
- So, Karen-- - Yes.
- Jacqueline, Gizzi, car A.
- Okay. - Okay.
- And everybody else, car B.
- Okay. - Okay.
- There's four of us, right?
- Yeah. - Okay.
- So, somebody has to get in the back-back.
- This AC is a little high.
- I'm happy you ladies are here.
- Me, too.
- Is this your draft pick here in this car?
Is that what you're saying? - Uh-oh.
- First round draft pick, yeah.
- But what about Robyn?
- There's only four asses that can fit in here.
- Okay, okay. - Yeah, it's true.
- What do you think was the whole strategy
putting us together the way she did it?
- No idea. - I have no idea.
- I'm-I'm sure she's trying to facilitate interaction,
probably.
- Well, I noticed you and Karen in the same car, so...
- Oh, or maybe did Karen tell Mia
don't put me anywhere near Charrisse?
- But me and Robyn are in the same car.
- Look, they put y'all together.
- I don't-- I don't make demands, though.
- Hopefully, the house is on the water.
- She says it's on the Bay.
- First class, five star. - Yeah.
- To the tip of the South.
- Yeah. - Sorry. It's the--
it's the-- it's the professor in me.
The tip is not the bottom. The tip is the top.
Just-just for future reference. - Okay.
- What-what does that have to do with you being--
- She said the tip of the South, Miami.
- She meant the bottom tip.
- The-- yeah, that's what I thought.
[laughing] Okay, well--
- The house itself is listed for $12 million.
- Whoo-hoo. Okay. - Oh, nice.
- So, it's beautiful, okay? - Yes, yes.
- Okay. - But...
[clears throat] There are six bedrooms.
- Ooh.
[gasps]
- And there's not-- is there nine of us?
- How many is there gonna be? - There's nine.
- Don't tell anybody. You have nothing to worry about.
It's your birthday. - Thank you.
- She's the birthday girl. - Yes.
- Yay!
- This better big a big-ass house, baby girl,
'cause how many of us are there?
- Eight? Nine. - There's nine of us.
- Nine. - Nine.
- So, it's a ten-room house? Nine room house?
- Ten bedroom mansion?
Are we sharing rooms?
- Huh? - Hell no, we're not.
- If we're sharing rooms-- - No.
- Or maybe smaller houses.
Am I thinking too deep into it?
- I know I got my own room,
so I am not saying one single word.
- If that's the case, then she's a bullsh---er
because she said it was gonna be five-star luxury all the way.
- 'Cause I love a hotel. - Right? And there's plenty.
- Yeah.
- So, Gizelle, are you dating? - Mm-hmm.
- What age group are you in? Are you open?
- You know what? None of them are younger.
I would like a little young boy.
[laughing] - Oh, you want a young boy.
- I would like a little young boy.
- You wanna have fun. - She wants a toy.
- I need to add a young boy to the group.
- Okay, to the group. Okay. - Yeah.
- Yes, they're fun. - How many are in your group?
You got a damn tribe?
- No, just, like, three-ish. - Oh, a village.
- I've never done three at once.
- I didn't say I was doing them all.
- Oh, I didn't say that, Gizelle.
- No, we got the girls at home. - I'm just sayin'.
- Okay, we're in the neighborhood.
This is the neighborhood, now.
- We're one minute away. Woot-woot!
- Okay, that's a-- that's a good house.
That's a good indication over there to the right.
- Guys, I think we're here.
- Oh, okay.
- There it goes, right here. - Okay, we're pull--
- Okay, here it goes, right here.
- Let me put my shoes on. Let me crank my bunions out.
Let's go. - Okay.
The left side is giving a different vibe
than the right side. - It really is. It really is.
- I just need to say that, real quick.
- It's two different-- two different neighborhoods,
right here.
- This, right here, is not Miami.
We're in a residential area.
Across the street, is someone's grandmother.
- This is cute.
- It's not that big.
- Coming up next...
- Does anybody need help carrying anything?
- Yes, you can carry my plate. - I got you.
- Do you want him to be on your plate?
No, I'm joking. - Uh, no, ma'am.
I'm celebrating my ten-year wedding anniversary.
- Oh, okay, this is cute. - This is cute.
- It's not that big.
- Okay. Okay, ladies,
welcome to 1-5-8-0. - Okay.
- GVO didn't work very well last time.
- GVO, GVO. [indistinct chatter]
- (BLEEP) that sh--. - Cheers.
- (BLEEP) you, Mia! - (BLEEP) you!
- You didn't spend more time with her!
[screaming, indistinct chatter]
- So, we're gonna do M.I.A. - What's M.I.A.?
- Don't get missin' in action, honey,
'cause you're in Miami. [laughing]
You can't be missing in action.
That's what it means.
Don't get kicked the (BLEEP) out.
[laughing]
Enter at your own risk.
- Hi. How are you? - Very nice. Hi.
- Sure, why not?
- Oh, wow! - Oh, I love this.
- Look at this view! - Okay.
- I love this.
- Oh, my God, I'm home. Honey, I'm home!
- This is cutie, Mia. - I smell jerk.
Is there jerk? - Yeah.
- Very Miami.
- Wendy, of course, you can smell it.
- How did I do? - You did good.
- Very cute. Very cute. - You did good!
- The house is gorgeous. I could live there.
Love it. Good job, Mia.
- I'm not mad at the house.
The house is very Miami,
but why aren't we on the beach?
Where is the beach?
- Thank you ladies all for coming.
I know we have been on a voyage.
So, cheers to positivity.
- Oh. - Okay.
- Good energy and prosperity, okay?
- Cheers to all of that, baby! Yes!
[cheering, indistinct chatter]
- This is Chef Arthur. - Welcome to Miami.
- Hello. - Hi.
- Today, we have a pineapple and feta salad.
We have jerk chicken. And last but not least,
we have a peach cobbler shortcake with whipped cream.
- Gizelle, calm down, Gizelle. [laughing]
Don't jump to it, now. Just wait a minute.
- Yeah.
- Does anybody need help carrying anything?
- Yes, you can carry my plate. - I got you.
[laughing]
- Do you want him to be on your plate?
No, I'm joking. - Uh, no, ma'am.
I'm celebrating my ten-year wedding anniversary.
- Okay, well, I'll take notes then.
- I can't eat chicken. So, tell me what I can have.
I'm in here cleaning out the refrigerator
because I'm allergic to chicken,
which they call it the dirty bird.
- Y'all already separated? We just got here.
As long as y'all are comfortable, I'm good.
Okay, I want y'all to get settled in your spaces.
And then, of course, in a little bit,
we're gonna, um, go to dinner.
All right.
So, I'm gonna give you guys your room assignments.
Each room has a name, and it's very spicy,
custom designed for you all down to the sticker.
I named the rooms after stripper movies
and-or phrases.
- Karen, what room are you in?
- Uh, Potomac Tease.
[laughing]
- Miss Charrisse? - P-Valley.
- I'm in Show Wives. - Okay, honey.
- I like mine. I like mine, Hustlers.
- Hustlers.
- Oh.
- Player's Club. - Queen of Diamonds.
- Whoo! - Okay.
- Naturally, I'm Queen of Diamonds
'cause the Queen of Diamonds is the best strip club ever.
- Do you have a room for Candiace?
- Yes, it's right there. - Oh, oh.
- Okay. - Okay.
- But that's hers, so leave it be.
- Okay, okay.
So, are any of us sharing a room?
- The Hustlers are. - What? Again? Again?
- Just go find your room.
- Okay. - Before you try to knock it.
- Okay, okay. - I'm gonna take a look.
Oh, here it is!
[laughing]
Nice. Thank you, Mia.
- I did put Karen on the main.
- Robyn, I'll call you when I find it.
- All right. Eat my chicken.
- What is your called? - Player's Club.
- All right. Let's go see Player's Club.
[humming] - What is this?
I don't even have a bathroom.
Oh, my God.
I have to have certain accommodations for myself.
I sleep naked, and I snore, so I'd rather sleep alone.
- I probably, more than likely, will let you pick your room.
- Oh, snap. Mm-hmm.
When I saw this beautiful home,
I assumed I was gonna have a palatial room.
I just wanted a bathroom.
- We got a bathroom. We got a bed.
Oww, perfect.
- This is a... bathroom.
Ooh.
- I found it, Robyn. - You found it?
This is us? - This is us.
- This the Hustler's lounge? - But where is the--
- Okay. - Is this a bathroom?
Okay, no. - The-- it's over there.
- There's only one? - Uh, looks like it.
- I know everything about Robyn, okay?
She poops twice in the morning.
Why do me and Robyn always have to share a room together?
Like, come on. Give me my own space.
- Whoo! - Goddamn.
Look at this room.
- Yeah, this-- Mia is sharing with you.
- Oh, you know it. - Yes.
- Ashley, what room are you in? - Player's Club.
- Oh, so, we're across from each other.
- This is cute.
- And you got your own bathroom.
- That's all that matters, babe.
- That's all that matters.
- Mia, where the (BLEEP) is Candiace's room?
- I don't know. - Mia!
[coughs] - Oh, that's not soft.
Okay.
I honestly don't know where poor Candiace is gonna sleep.
Tit nipply in here.
Maybe there is, like, a secret bedroom somewhere.
I don't know. A little panic room
or somethin', I don't know,
but the couch is nice, you know.
It's not like it's a bad couch.
- This was genius, Ashley. - Okay. Show wives.
- What's that? Whose-whose is-- whose is Show Wives?
- That's Wendy. - Oh, okay, good.
- Oh! - Okay.
[laughing]
- If somebody has to share a room,
it should be Wendy,
'cause she's the meanest person here.
At least I have my own bed,
so, you know, I feel a little bit better.
- It is really shady putting Candiace and Wendy,
two grown-ass women, in a room with one small bed.
She might roll over 'cause, you know,
she's short, Wendy is tall.
She might roll over and get a mouth full of titty.
I don't know.
- Yes, put it back. [laughing]
- Okay.
- Coming up next [phone ringing]
- Well, hello, there. - Hey.
- So, I got Gizelle. I got Robyn. I got Wendy.
- Wait. Hold on. What?
- There is a room over here, guys.
- That's Charrisse's room.
- I might leave, though. I might go get a hotel.
- Are you and Candiace sharing, Wendy?
- I don't even have a bathroom.
- Okay, who took Candiace's card?
- Maybe Mia has it.
- None of y'all? - No.
- None of y'all are peeping and sh--.
- No, Mia may have it.
But look at this so-- this view is insane.
- I feel like Gizelle and Robyn have the best situation.
- You think so?
- They walk out into the pool. - I know.
They just wanted, you know, two separate bathrooms.
I think.
- Well, they should've thought of that
before they were praising me.
Like, "Oh, this is perfect, Mia."
[laughing] Girl, you better see
if you got your own bathroom.
Oh! - That's valid.
- Huh? Uh-uh.
- We're just waiting for dinner
'cause I need to know how much I could eat.
[laughing] - Come here, Mia.
- I still got too many clothes for Miami.
I'm ready to be naked.
- Why should I be concerned
about where she's sleeping?
- Mi-- Mimi...
- I know, and she's sleeping under the roof.
- I have a resolution. - Huh?
- I don't mind staying in a hotel.
'cause I need a bathroom.
- Where did you put her? - You don't have a bathroom?
- Oh, you don't have a bathroom, Charrisse?
- Some things are not negotiable,
and a bathroom is one.
- Well, they got two showers and a sauna.
- We got one toilet.
Like, yes, this is my bestie,
but just because we're friends
we don't need to share rooms.
When is Karen gonna share a room with someone?
Because she's the oldest person,
she always gets her own room?
Like...
Why are other people not sharing?
- Because y'all are stuck to each other's side.
- We're not. - I know, and y'all said
that y'all share beds all the time.
- Who said that?
- Did you ever share a hotel room before
with one bed?
- You know what? We did.
- We have.
- Um, when we went to Andy's baby shower.
- Their ass was touching. - Oh, yeah.
- We might've been butt to butt.
- We might've spooned a little bit.
- And I'm glad that I'm being the first one
to break this story.
Right? [laughing]
- Oh, chile, listen. [sighs]
I need someone to unpack my bags!
- Okay, let's do our shots.
- Wait, that's a quarter.
- You know, the night is young.
Okay, so... - Cheers.
- To, um, what are we-- what are cheersing to?
The hoes?
- We're the only single ones in the group, now, so
- But there's more hoes here. [laughing]
- Cheers to that then. - Okay. All right.
- Charrisse, you want some tequila with us? Hmm.
- No.
- I don't like that.
- Babe. - Hey.
- Can I just say that I love you?
- I love you, too, baby.
- So, I just told Jacqueline
that I almost left the airport without my luggage.
Hee-hee-hee.
You know how you go to baggage claim,
and you just go get in the car, and you just keep going?
- Right. - That's what I was doing,
and I forgot to get my luggage
because either you get it, or somebody gets it.
I just wanna say I'm so sorry, and I love you,
and I have realized that I am spoiled.
- Want some lime? - I'm good.
Let me go get dressed. - Okay. All right.
We'll see you. - Okay. All right, Cha,
I have to get dressed. What are you gonna do?
- I need my accommodation.
I think I'm gonna bypass dinner.
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - All your stuff is here.
- I know. - I'm gonna take a quick shower.
Why don't you just share my bathroom and not just leave?
You don't wanna walk upstairs.
- I'm not in college.
My travel agent called, like, five places.
- Okay.
- I'm gonna figure something out.
Who else do I know in Miami?
- I need a water.
[phone ringing]
- Family!
- Hey.
- Well, hello, there.
How you doin'? You in Miami?
- So, you know, me and the girls are here,
and I wanna bring them by the bar tonight.
You gonna be there?
- There's eight of us.
- So, I got Gizelle.
I got Robyn. I got Wendy.
- Wait. Hold on. What?
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, look at Miss CEO!
- Not one more ----ing--
You sure you're ready for all this?
**