Previously, on "The Real Housewives of Potomac"...
So, my friend... [sighs] she said that,
you know, Chris was being a little bit flirty with her.
So, you wanna bring drama to my door.
To the live show.
So, I wanna talk about the elephant in the room.
Gizelle, Robyn, and I often do the same thing.
And Robyn Dixon!
[cheers and applause] - What is up?
What is up? Whoo!
Is my mic on? Can you hear me?
Can y'all hear me? [laughing]
What the [BLEEP] not to do at my show.
Oh, God!
- Hi, friendy. - You look beautiful.
Jacqueline and I have been friends since we were 15.
Whatever I need, I know I can call her,
and she'll be there.
Jacqueline and I have done,
like, weird, promiscuous things.
Remember you told us a story about the boyfriend
that you allowed to partake. - Yeah.
So, has Jacqueline slept with Gordon?
Is that what you're asking me? - She told me to ask you.
Oh.
Ahh, wait a minute. What's going on?
I was in my little jacuzzi right outside my room.
[laughing] And I look up,
and I see people in the shower together.
- Oh, what? What?! - I know. I saw two people.
Why you looking up in our shower?
Okay, so, you all get it on or have-have you?
[laughing] - Please.
I'm pretty, petty, and always sittin' on ready.
You may think you know my story,
but there's always a plot twist.
When it comes to the truth, I always arrive on time.
My vocals are clean,
but my reads are for filth.
I may not remember everything,
but you'll never forget me.
I'm a Nigerian queen with no time for mean.
Just like a three-wick, I burn slow and never waver.
♪
- Are you ready? - Yes. It's exciting.
- The next installation, babe. - Yes. You good?
Yeah, I am, baby. I'm excited.
Ahh! - Ut-oh, the Grande Dame.
Look at that. [camera shutter snapping]
- Got it? - Yeah.
The Improv is historical.
I'm honored they allowed me to come in
because I am the first non-comedian.
You gotta crawl before you run.
That's one thing I learned from Robyn and Gizelle.
Crawl before you walk.
What is up? What is up? Whoo!
- Matt! - There he is.
- Hi, Hugers. - Hey, baby.
[laughing] - Hey, guys.
- What's up, partner? - How you doing, my friend?
- How you doin'? - Hi, there.
Do I know the voice? - Antoine. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you. - I know.
put the name with the face--
voice with the face. - I'm Ray. My pleasure.
Nice to meet you, Ray.
So, I'm ready for a walk-through.
We have a vision, but I know we are in good hands with you.
- Definitely are. - So, let's do this thing.
I have crossed all my Ts and dotted all my Is.
I am going to sell out my tickets.
I am going to have entertainment.
I'm not gonna ask my guests
to get up there and do aerobics.
♪
This part of the show is boring.
So, this is where you guys will be for the night.
- Yes, ooh. - The DC Improv showroom.
I love it. Oh, this feels so natural.
I'm ready. [laughing]
Any questions you have we'll go through later,
but, for now, I'm gonna leave you guys altogether,
all right? - Okay, perfect.
I wanna grab a seat wit' you, Matt,
and just talk about what we envision.
I am super excited.
For me, it's- it's a matter of--
Doing your thing,
whatever that is. - Doing my thing.
What-whatever my program is, and I know what my program is.
Talk about it. - Yes.
You have, um, Jasmine, who is a drag queen.
- Yes. - And the Grande Dame.
Then you have me and you.
Oh, it was mine, but let's be very clear.
Matt produces the show for me.
Thank you, Matt.
So, June 1 kicks off pride month. Aha!
I'll introduce a panel, and what we're gonna talk about
is love, how to find it, how to keep it.
Are you in the Grindr?
Are you out of the Grindr? I don't know.
I'm supposed to know what the Grindr is.
I-I think I know. - Matt--
It's-- isn't that the, uh, a, uh--
[laughing]
Um, uh, is that considered underground
or not underground? It's above ground?
- Uh, it's above ground. - No, it's above ground, baby,
way above ground. - Okay, okay.
[laughing] - It's okay, baby.
I think it was rumored that Michael was, uh,
on the Grindr or somethin', wasn't he?
- Well, your wife said that. - Oh, you said that?
Yeah, I did.
If you wanna act like you believe
everything you read, Ashley,
your man up there meeting people in London
through the Grindr.
Now, this is not gonna be a Grindr party, though, is it?
If it turns into a Grindr party,
I'll be okay with it. - Okay.
Might be over the top and you gotta be ready.
Buckle up. - All right.
Do you need security? I got-- I got you covered.
You might have security for some of your friends.
If we have to. If we have to.
[laughing]
♪
Come on, daddy. Do the grand finale.
What do you think, Juju?
"Here is one more thing before I must go.
"I love you so much. I want you to know."
Aww. - Aww, love y'all.
- The end. - You guys are still awake.
You need to go to sleep, okay? - I want to play some more.
Look, and then-- but you wanna play on your iPad?
And then, in the morning, guess what.
In the morning, can we make up early
and do special pancakes? - Yeah!
[doorbell rings]
I'll be right downstairs if you need me, okay?
All right.
Honey, I'm home!
- Hi. - Hi.
Hey, girl, where you coming from?
Girl, you know I work.
Yeah, did you wear this to work?
Hey, Jacqueline.
Girl, you know I gotta be sexy sometimes
while I'm working. - I see. Okay.
Whistle while you work, honey.
Okay. All right. How you doin', dear?
Good to see ya. - Good. How are you?
- Good, good, good. - It's not whistle you work.
- Yes. - Well, come on in, girl.
I'm gonna pop a bottle of wine open.
Okay.
Oh, you know what we can do, babe?
[gasps] Macy's gentlemen wine.
Is that the cabernet?
Now, if that's gentlemen, that's for me.
- Well, Gordon-- - I mean, you don't wanna share?
- Of course. - Jeez, baby, you're not gonna--
you're not gonna be a gentleman
and share your wine? - Yes. Listen, Gordon.
Gordon, I need-- - I got you, Jacqueline.
I need a gentleman in my life.
So, yes, please. - I got you.
- Clearly, you do. - Clearly.
'Cause according to everybody else
that my gentleman is yours.
- Really? - We'll talk about it.
- What? - We'll talk about it.
Oh, God, is this gonna be crazy?
Jacqueline is like our sister wife without benefits.
Guess it's like a s'more, right? Ha!
Chocolate, marshmallow, and graham cracker on the outside.
Gordon's the graham cracker. [laughing]
Do you want me to get close to you?
Yeah, on the white sofa. Come over here.
- Gordon, are you scared? - What's weird to me,
is Jacqueline being between the two of us.
- Huh? - Is that okay?
Do you wanna be in the middle, Gordon?
Yeah. Do you wanna make Gordon the middle?
No, I don't wanna be in the middle.
Do you want me to move over?
What's the problem? - Yeah.
Nothing. If you guys are okay, I'm okay.
- Yeah. - No, he's not.
Where do you wanna be, Gordon?
Okay, well, let me move the plant,
um, out of the way. [laughing]
A lot of people don't know this,
but Jacqueline's mother and my step-mom
were best friends in high school,
and I found a picture of her mom
in my step-mom's photo album,
and to find out that it was like a full 360 situation,
we were like, okay, I'm kinda stuck with you
forever now-- forever. [laughing]
I don't play when it comes to G.
You know that.
- Uh, duh, we know. - All right, okay.
So, I saw you at the podcast.
How are you feeling after it? - That was pretty left field.
We know that she likes to watch,
and Gordon likes other women.
Right.
So, you never said, "Pick me?"
So, Gizelle said she wanted to know a little bit more
about Mia's past.
Yeah, we take showers
because we're comfortable with each other.
- Yeah. - And, you know,
we look great. Like, it's a great view.
- Oh, is it? Thank you. - Um, yeah.
[laughing] I know you feel the same way.
You need to take more showers with me.
- Right. - Oh.
He tries a lot, and I won't let him.
He takes up the whole - ing shower.
- I do not. - Are you getting jealous, G?
- No, I'm not. - Okay, okay. All right.
And he showers with lukewarm water.
He has to go to. [laughing]
Right, 'cause I like it hot.
- I like it hot. - We like it hot.
I use the same damn temperature you use.
That's bullsh--. Stop lying. - But see, that's the thing.
We-we like the same temperature and heat in our water.
Makes sense. It's economical.
It's really not that big of a deal.
- It's not that big of a deal. - Right.
I don't see it as a big deal.
Get off our conversations and what we've done, right?
And what we haven't done.
Right. - Yeah.
They think it's a sexual thing when it's not.
There's so many layers to our relationship,
literally from childhood,
that they will never understand.
- No. - Okay.
And they think we're in some tebacle,
like some threesome together, like I--
- Oh, the-- us three? - Us three.
Like I am-- [laughing]
Gordon is like, "Oh, you're talking about us?"
Right, right. [laughing]
So, I think what happened-- let me tell you what happened.
Apparently, I had one too many cocktails at the beach party,
and then we brought up the car.
And if she ain't winning, pulling up in her Porsche,
being all cute and fly, I'm a terrible friend.
That's how I feel.
They basically said, "Did Mia buy your Porsche?"
Absolutely. - So, she bought your Porsche?
Honey, I-I make my own coins.
Her car is in her name. Yes.
Why are they disrespecting you like that?
It is in my name, so I income qualified
to get the vehicle. - Yes.
Did you help me put a down payment on it
because you knew that, at that moment, I was spending
a lot of money to get out of this unhealthy relationship,
and you wanted to give me a cushion because you love me?
She loves you.
And, okay, and you-- oh, you don't love me?
- He loves you, too. - I love you, too, but not--
But he-- he loves you because I-- he knows
how much it means to me. - I support her. Right.
Right, and he supports. You guys both love me.
Yeah.
I think it's because they think, oh, okay,
she's my friend, and you over here
being everybody's sugar daddy.
- Oh. - Right.
And they probably wanna figure out how to sign up,
right? - They wanna know--
listen, they're jealous because they don't have that,
right? - May-- I don't know.
- Sh--. - Oh, damn.
And they're trying to figure out, okay,
when is it gonna be my turn?
Coming up next...
I'm at the bar, you know, waiting to get my drink,
and all of the sudden, I see Chris.
So, he come-- he comes over all smiling, you know, wanna--
like, he was very flirty.
♪
- How are you guys? - Hi. How are you?
Joining us for dinner tonight?
Yes. We have a reservation,
and we have another person joining us, too.
Yes.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- How is everyone doing today? - Good. How are you doing?
I'm doing well. My name is Will.
I'll be taking care of you.
I know we're gonna do shots-shots.
So, I suggest-- we're-we're gonna do shots.
Yeah, we're doing a round of 1942 to start.
Yeah, we're gonna definitely do shots.
- 1942 to start. - Yes.
- For the table? - Seafood tower and some oysters.
- That sounds good. - Got it.
I'll be right with that. - Sounds good.
Thank you so much. - Sounds good. Thanks, Will.
My PYTs, my pretty young things,
have really been supportive of me
through this process with Michael,
mainly because they've all been through something similar.
We have a group chat that basically consists
of reminding ourselves that we're all bad bitches,
and that's really what I need to hear sometimes.
We're actually supposed to go to New York
for Deborah's birthday in a couple weeks,
but I can't go, but I probably wouldn't make it home,
so it's probably better.
New York would swallow me up.
- Okay. - Hey, babes.
Oh, we've missed you so much.
I know.
Hi. - Hi.
Hi, hi, hi.
How are you? - Hi. I'm good. How are you?
- Look at this hair. - How you doing?
- I love the hair. - Thank you.
- How are you? - How you feeling?
Great.
I heard you were joining us tonight.
I hope you're ready. - Yes, yes.
I feel like I'm, um, like, an honorary member.
Yes. - Of-of the pretty little--
pretty young little-- pretty young little things.
- Yes. - Pretty little things.
- Oh, so not-- - Pretty little things.
Pretty little things.
I thought it was pretty young thing.
I'm a pretty hot mama thing.
Okay, we'll make it work.
I know what we're gonna cheers to--
pretty little mama young thing-things.
That's what we're doing. - all: Yes.
This here is aging in reverse.
Wait, you're gonna take it in a glass.
Oh, she's cheating, and you've got ice.
It's watered down. - She-- you always do that.
Mind your business, y'all.
If you're gonna hang with the group, girl,
you gotta play by the rules.
Okay. Okay, true.
Did you not know that this was, like,
the application process, right now.
This is initiation.
Am I happy about this initiation?
I'm not quite sure. Y'all don't wear no underwear.
Uh, there-there will be another round, and I will--
I will drink it. - Yes, yes.
So, ladies, I have a question.
Are y'all, like, hooking Ashley up with people?
I don't think she needs our help.
Ooh.
I don't think she does other.
I don't-- I don't, honestly, I get a lotta DMs
about this one, right here.
Seeing her, like, go through her relationship with Michael,
have y'all ever given her advice,
like you need to be out? - Uh, oh, no, yes.
Really?
I've known her for about 12 years.
Yeah, okay. So, you really have been, like--
I remember seeing her posting when they started dating.
I've been watching with a, you know, out of the side eye,
but she needs to do what's best for her.
- Right. - And the-- and the babies--
the babies. - And, exactly.
Okay, I haven't seen you ladies since y'all--
okay, so-- because we needed some clarity
on some things, right? - Yes.
Everyone here was present when that all went down.
- At the spring fling? - Yes.
At the spring fling.
And these are my babes.
Ahh!
- Listen, we did done shots. - The tea is getting spilled regardless.
We talking tonight, okay?
[laughing] Okay.
The tea is getting spilled regardless.
- So, what had happened? - Okay.
[laughing] - I guess, who wants to start?
- This one. - So, okay.
So, I'm at the bar, you know, waiting to get my drink.
You know, standing there.
Then all of a sudden, I see Chris.
So, he comes over a little, you know, wanna--
like, so, for, like, a good two minutes,
I'm just, like, looking straight,
but you know how you can see someone from the side
and then go-- like, looking like that.
And he's smiling at you in your face?
Yes, yes, the eyes. Yeah, the eyes.
I'm like, "Hi, I'm Deborah." He's like, "Hi, I'm Chris."
I said, "Okay." I said,
"Well, my husband's name is Chris, too."
He said, "Oh, that's a very common name.
"You know, a lot of Chrises, we're-we're all alike."
I said, "Oh."
Thank you.
Deborah-- Chris. Nice to meet you.
A pleasure.
Oh, how about that?
Yes. Yeah, it's very--
very common, you know.
Now, you have never met this man before.
No, first time I met him. And then Eddie--
I think that's the name-- happy Eddie comes over.
- Yeah. - Who is happy Eddie?
- Wendy's husband. - Oh, chile.
- Yeah. So, he comes-- - Not happy Eddie.
[laughing]
So, he-he comes over all smiling, like, you know,
what y'all talking about?
[laughing]
Okay.
So, now I introduce myself, too.
He-he said, "Oh, hey, Deborah. You know, how are you?"
He was very flirty.
If I didn't know he was married, I wouldn't have known.
Deborah is a friend of mine.
I've known her now for about a year and a half,
you know, but Sydney, Deborah, and Jules
were together at the bar,
and all of them witnessed what happened,
and my friends are not liars.
To me, that's not an isolated incident.
Right.
So, I felt like, with them trying to have a baby,
that they're probably just going through a lot,
and rather than her get into a situation
where she could potentially end up like me down the road,
have a husband that cheats on you
after you have your baby, you know, like, just be aware
of what's happening when you're trying to conceive.
Well, did she appreciate when you told her?
- No. - Oh, no.
No.
You're a lying-ass vindictive bitch!
And I brought it to this-this platform!
Do you just wanna turn a blind eye?
Because if that's the case, then just say so.
Just say. - Well, I mean, you would know.
Dun-dun-dun-da-dum.
- Oh, that's so sweet. - Thank you.
Next time I see him,
we'll have a longer conversation.
- Any sauce? - Yes.
No, no, she's not gonna let you talk to her husband.
- Oh. - Ever.
Trust and believe.
Do I have to say something to Wendy about it now?
Um...
Eddie was a little bit more subdued than Chris.
Okay.
You know, I feel like it's-it's a little disingenuous
if I know this and if she hears about it.
If I were in that situation, as I have been,
I always want to know, and when it comes to your-your spouse,
I don't think ignorance is bliss whatsoever.
Ashley, you got some work to do, sweetie.
You know damn well how this is gonna go.
[laughing]
Coming up next...
I am the Muhammad Ali of live shows.
I'm back there, "You got this. You got--"
[cheers and applause]
♪
I see daddy is getting you guys donuts
even though he's not supposed to.
Who did what now?
- You're not hot? - No, I'm not hot, you know.
I got this colorful windbreaker on.
- Well, you need a sweater. - I came back.
Did you wash your hands?
Can you do that part of her dress for me?
My nails are too long. I couldn't, um, snap it.
Hey, mum-mum bear. Kamrynn was a trooper today.
Was she?
Yeah, we were standing in line to get them fitted
for their uniforms.
- How was football uniforms? - It was good.
We didn't do anything. We just put on the pants.
Well-well, that's doing something.
I am losing my mind
not being able to do what I'm accustomed to.
Kidney stones-- I never thought anything could be
as bad as pregnancy.
You gotta change your lifestyle.
I love being home with my husband.
I love being home with my kids.
But I'm just used to ripping and running,
and just to have to sit still, I don't like it.
- I got you a donut. - Did you?
- I did. - Aww. What type?
They didn't have glazed, but I got you blueberry.
See, I thought about you. - You did think about me.
I didn't get myself a donut, though.
You-- 'cause you probably already ate it.
No, I'm just watching my-- watching my waistline.
He said he got me a blueberry donut.
Ooh! So, you bought a donut for yourself.
You forgot. - Oh!
I don't eat blueberry. No, I don't eat--
I don't even eat-- I don't eat blueberry.
- Oh! - You got a donut for yourself.
I'll tell you what, boy.
Me and Kruz are on the same team.
Kamrynn, get off of your brother.
You're choking him. Get off.
Hey, kids, go downstairs.
All right, babe. How are you?
I'm good. How was yesterday?
I had the lunch with Ashley.
What were y'all talking about, y'all ladies?
Okay, and in the lunch, she says something
about her friend saying something about you.
So, you know, Deborah hasn't really seen anybody
since, you know, she talked about the Chris stuff, yeah.
Oh, that's the one that you told about the Chris stuff.
- Mm-hmm. - Okay.
And I'm a little bit apprehensive to tell you this.
Okay, wait, tell me.
So, apparently, when Chris was talking
to Deborah-- - Okay.
I guess Eddie, like, came over,
and the consensus seemed to be
that Eddie was, like, being flirtatious.
So, they were calling him happy Eddie.
Not happy Eddie.
I said, "So, what was the issue in question?"
- What exactly did I do? - She said--
you know what she said? - What?
I guess he was very smiley.
Okay.
He was smiley.
Oh, sh--.
Oh, I can't smile no more. [laughing]
I can't smile.
I can't smile anymore.
Wow, or she accuses me of flirting when I smile.
That's wild, babe.
Because you smile at everybody.
I smile at people on the street.
You even smile at the dog.
[laughing]
Nobody is concerned about Eddie havin'
a friendly conversation.
That's-- no!
'Cause Eddie is very happy.
I mean, look at me. Why wouldn't he be?
[laughing]
Kamrynn, I'm flirting wit' you.
That's how you flirt?
I don't know. I mean, I'm just looked at.
I don't know. Look at her, she's like, "Oh."
[laughing]
- Hi! - Hi!
Okay, order-order your food.
Okay, no one is coming over here?
- No. - Okay. [BLEEP].
Yeah, we gotta order at the counter.
Okay, so, can I do a get glowing?
Sure.
And then can I do a Greek salad?
- Oh, sure, sure. - Okay, that's it.
[laughing]
Okay, thank you so much.
- Hi. - Hey.
What do I do? Do I order?
Yeah, order and then come over.
- Okay, all right. - Okay.
- Thank you so much. - You're welcome.
May I get the queen of green smoothie bowl
and, uh, avocado toast.
- Okay, sure. - Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Hi, boo. - Hi.
How are you? - What's up? What's up?
I'm great. How are you?
- Hi. - Oh, wait.
Do I wait there, or do they bring it over?
- They're gonna bring it. - They'll bring it over.
- They're bringing it, okay. - Muah. How are you?
Mia, where have you been?
Hello? - I know.
I know, my bad.
Okay, so, um, Josh is-- was sick.
- Oh. - Yeah, he's okay now.
- Yeah. - Um...
So, he was on the court,
and he started getting in pain. - Yeah.
And he was limping, and I'm like, what's going on, right?
Hey, buddy. - Hey.
- How was weightlifting? - It was all right.
- All right. - [indistinct].
Did you-- let me-- did you get some gains?
Let me see 'em.
I'm like, "Did you twist your ankle?
Like, what's wrong?" - Right.
He was like, "Ma, it's my nuts."
Say what? [laughing]
He was like, "I know."
Thank you.
Oh, wow, there's so many of 'em.
Because he didn't have on compression shorts--
Uh-huh.
And he was getting, like, they-- damaging them.
So, he has fluid around his scrotum.
Oh, God.
Like, have your boys gone through this?
I-I believe Corey's balls have dropped.
- Okay. - Have you not checked?
I mean, I think I can tell. I don't know.
Yeah, I'm just happy I'm a girl mom.
You know, I just have to worry about that time of the month
times three.
So, maybe I don't know.
That was a whole traumatic experience.
Wait a minute, are we all going to the-- Karen's thing?
- Yeah, yeah. - Okay, I love that.
You know, Karen and I and Robyn and Ashley got together,
and Karen was in rare form. - Oh.
She said that, like, you got a little Jacques Cousteau,
like, exploring. - What, uh, what?
Hmm? - Like, you got a flashlight,
and you explored Jacqueline's vagina.
You know, they were playing doctor and nurse
on-on each other at 20,
and she took a flashlight and looked up
Jacqueline's cootch.
- What? - What the hell?
The age might change a little bit, but she--
And then she licked the cootchie.
No, she did not lick her cootchie.
You see-- - Wait, what?
No, your face is right there.
Believe me. I know. - Hold on, Mia-Mia--
Okay, you know what?
- So, I just wanna-- - Right, explain that.
She was like, "Can you just look in there
and see what's going on in there?"
Was she itching or something?
- No. - Okay.
Were you guys in the dark?
- No, it was light. - Why the flashlight?
I don't know. It was, like, theatrical.
I wanted to go get some tongs, too,
'cause that's what I saw at--
I wanted to go-- [laughing]
I'm not getting a flashlight
and looking at your cootchie, Robyn.
No, I'm not-I'm not gonna ask you to.
I mean, I'm not gonna do that right now either, okay?
Okay, so, then why in Miami did you--
did you not tell us about Peter's girlfriend,
and you, and Gordon?
And Mia says,
"But I did sleep with Peter's current girlfriend."
Hold up. - Wait.
- Hold up, I'm sip-- - Wait, hold on.
What?
What do you call that, a throuple or a thrumple?
'Cause that didn't come up.
- It didn't come up? - No, it didn't.
Okay, Peter Thomas was the subject of conversation
in every conversation. - Right.
Right, I mean, it had nothing to do with girlfriend.
True story.
Well, she never slept with Gordon.
She just played with him, foreplay.
Oh.
That was actually on our wedding night.
[laughing] - What the [BLEEP]?
What?
At the bachelor party that I-I crashed.
What?
Wait, so, not your wedding--
the night before your wedding. - Okay, okay, so not the--
Night before.
So, why was she at the bachelor party?
- What? Oh, God. - I have so many questions.
She was in the wedding. She's in the wedding.
Oh, she's in the-- she's a-she's a bridesmaid.
She, yeah, she sang while I was walking down the aisle.
Hmm. [laughing]
She's a really sweet girl.
The problem is, we don't get along now.
- Okay, all right. - Wait, so, who told--
Karen told us that, too? - Mm-hmm.
So, you shared that with Karen?
- Yeah. - Why?
I don't know, but I ain't telling Karen sh-- else.
At least come to me first, the source,
and see if it's okay for you to go run your mouth.
I'll tell you one thing, she wouldn't be nice
if I tell you guys why she really don't like Charrisse.
Ooh.
Do tell. [laughing]
Just give us a hint.
No, but I do know.
There is a reason, right.
Coming up next...
What do you do when you share something
with a friend of yours,
and she runs her mouth and tells her friends?
Ooh, okay.
We have to go down, right?
- Yes, ma'am. - Thank you.
- [indistinct]. - I know.
Oh, my goodness, this is wonderful, guys.
Thank you so much.
Yes, I am. - You're welcome.
Let's get to the green room.
Okay.
Doing the live show, is me saying thank you
for supporting my brand.
Beyonce, no-no shade here and bowing down to you, queen.
Uh, I got my hive, too. It's called the La' Dames.
Whoo!
So, La' Dames are people. Okay.
Y'all been watching my social media.
I got the La' Dames like the beehive.
- The La' Dames. - The La' Dames.
Well, do you have any the Robyns?
- I-I don't want-- - I don't think so.
I wouldn't let them.
La' Dames rise.
Hello. [laughing]
Excuse me, hi.
I'm not Karen. I'm Gizelle.
[laughing]
Listen, if y'all have ever said
I don't support Karen in the past,
this is clear indication that I support Karen Huger
because I'm at this event,
and I still don't know what the hell it is.
I'll tell you what it's about. It's about love.
- Okay. - So, you gettin' it?
I'm getting it.
What-whatever my program is, and I know what my program is.
All of the La' Dames are answering it.
Grande Dame is a part of it.
- Okay, perfect. - All right.
Okay, thank you.
- Hi, my girls. - Hello, gorgeous in green.
I nailed it.
- How are you? - Who is this?
- I was gonna say. - I'm great.
Oh, my God, tantalizing.
Bring it in.
Oh, there you guys are.
Are these my PLTs?
PLTs? - Yes, pretty little--
Is it PLT or PYT? I can never remember.
- It's PLT. - I know, PLT.
Both. [laughing]
- Hi. - How are you?
So, what's up? What's up? Okay.
- Hi, hi. - How are you?
Good to see you. - Good. How are you, love?
You remember my friend, Deborah?
Jacqueline. - Uh, yes, I remember her.
- How are you, pretty girl? - Yes.
Okay, I gotta go to the bathroom.
Okay.
All right, I'll be back.
I'll be back. - Okay.
Ashley has brought the girl that just said
every husband wants to be with her
as her plus one,
but I'm not really mad at this
because Candiace listens to nothing.
Ooh, chile, okay, this gonna be good.
♪
Oh, okay, you finally came downstairs, huh?
- Yeah. - Okay.
You about ready? - My dress was too big,
so I had to pin it.
Oh, okay, it looks nice.
What shoes are you wearing with this?
Shoes that are on my feet.
Oh, okay.
Oh, I thought those was, like, slippers.
Okay, I was lookin' at that.
I don't know if there's food at this event.
Okay. Yeah, okay. I ate some food, too.
You lookin' forward to it?
Yes, but I don't really know what it is.
- Okay. - Karen said she was hosting.
- She-she's hosting? - I don't know.
Is she telling a joke? She being a comedian or what?
Okay. - It's not clear.
You know, Karen can keep all of her cards
very close to her chest,
so I'm excited to just go and see the show.
What are we about to get? A show, okay.
Well, we're gonna head out soon, right?
- Yes. - I have my I.D.
Okay, I think I have everything.
How long is this gonna last about?
Can you hang late? I know you like to go to bed.
- Well, yes, I do. Yes. - Do we have a curfew?
Yes. Let's get home by 12. Is that good?
- I guess. - We'll see everybody.
We're grown. Do you have your shawl thing?
- What? It's in here. - Okay.
And my phone, my lipstick.
So, tell me about the mic, though.
My concern is walking up there, and there's--
I'm talking, and the mic is off. - Right.
- I hate that. - Yes.
Can y'all hear me? I can't hear myself.
all: No.
Make sure mic works.
So, what am I lookin' for?
Turn 'em on, please. Yes, I appreciate that.
- All right, yeah, I'll do it. - All right.
No, no, I don't wanna take any chances.
I'm gonna order some stuff for the table, guys,
some French fries, soft pretzel sticks.
- Absolutely. - Some mozzarella sticks.
Mozzarella sticks.
Yeah, and they wanna order drinks.
I'm sure.
Can I do gin and tonic with a double twist of lime?
Old fashion.
Okay, I'll have a casa amigos and a beer.
My Barbie titties are gonna come out tonight.
If they come out, can you get 'em back in?
Well, if they come out, I'm gonna let Karen know
exactly what I meant about some damn Barbie titties.
I was wondering.
Did you see the video Charrisse posted to the group?
Yeah, she saw the video.
Charrisse put this video in the group
and to get my attention because I don't [BLEEP] with Charrisse.
So, when I saw it, I realized that Tiff and Fi got excited,
and tits just popped right on out
and said hello, I'm here. - Karen is like don't leave.
Don't leave. Don't leave.
Karen looks like she liked it but didn't want us to know
she liked it. - Well, you know.
- Hello. - Hi.
- Hi. How are you? - Hi, Dorothy.
How are you? - Hello.
- Great. - Long time, no see.
- Are we speaking today? - We are speaking today.
Okay, so, we're turning a new leaf.
The leaf has been turned, bitch.
Come on, girl. How are you?
All right.
Okay, so, I heard that Charrisse was a little sour.
- Why? - That she wasn't invited.
Why could someone have not done a plus one?
- I did. - I did, too.
- Oh. - Because she wasn't invited.
She wanted the invitation from Karen.
- Oh. - Yeah, yeah.
She says she's not dismissing her.
They're just rebuilding. That's what she said.
Karen and I had a little, uh, get together the other day,
and we chatted. - Uh-huh.
I guess you-you-you told her some stuff
about your relationship.
Like, someone used a flashlight to go investigating,
ex-explore some-some cave.
Jacques Cousteau-- used flashlight.
When we were--
Okay, when I had a yeast infection?
- Oh! - I didn't say that.
No, she didn't say that. She didn't say that. No.
She didn't tell us. - Let me tell you.
Gizelle asked me that yesterday, and I was like,
"I don't know. We were just bored."
Honestly, I'm not upset about-about you guys knowing that,
but what I'm upset about, is that Karen decides that
she wants to go run her mouth
when we were having girlfriend chat
because there are things that she said
that I don't run back and tell you guys.
Ooh, it's about to happen.
There are, like, ten more people to get inside.
I'm ready to start.
The audience is packed, and it's not comp tickets.
I'm good, people. I love my people.
Yeah, I got my La' Dames.
Tonight, we are going to celebrate who?
- Karen. - Us.
Oh, yes, us. [laughing]
I'm here for Karen. - Yes.
And we have the Grande dame. [applause]
- Hi, denim. - There you are.
Meeting some folks celebrating hot night show look.
I look good, too, tonight. - Gizelle is leaving us now.
- Hi, ladies. Hi. - Hi, daddy.
Hi, ladies. How you doing?
How are you? Good to see you, again.
Good to see you, too. Hi, baby.
Anything, girl. Yes!
Candiace...
♪
Candiace...
So, my friend... [sighs]
She said that, you know, Chris was being
a little bit flirty with her.
Okay. Like, I--
I do not acknowledge "Sesame Street" characters.
They are make believe.
They belong at "Sesame Street."
Next.
What time is it? It's 8 o'clock.
This started at 7:30. She's not up here yet.
Yes.
This-this is a moment to just say thank you,
and so I'm so grateful.
So, this is a moment of love, love, love,
celebration, celebration,
and-and throwing a party for the people
that made it possible for me to do this, you know?
[applause]
Okay.
♪
What's up?
Can we give a warm DC welcome for our homegirl
that's from D.C.? - Yes!
Miss Robin Montague. [applause]
- Hi, everybody. - Who is she?
Who is she?
Girl, I hope so.
That's the only reason why I came.
[laughing]
Okay, so, Karen got a whole page.
I took the aerobics class. I shouldn't have done it
because aerobics teachers will lie to you.
Oh, damn.
And two more. And two more.
It's like, bitch, that was two.
[laughing]
Thank you, D.C.
[cheers and applause]
I am the Muhammad Ali of live shows.
So, I'm about to--
'cause I can feel the energy of the people,
and I don't wanna disappoint them.
You know, boxing, and I got this.
I got this.
My heart is so full, right now.
I truly, truly thank you all.
I wouldn't be standing here without your support and love.
And let me just say pride, honey.
[applause]
We all love pride, but, like, this is a variety show,
and you just showing up, Karen? I'm confused.
I'm gonna bring up this fine, fabulous queen.
I thought it was gonna be a one woman show.
That's what I thought.
Jasmine Masters, take the stage.
Whoo! "RuPaul's Drag," come on.
Okay, okay.
Is she hosting?
Let me fangirl. Where you at?
[applause]
[cheers and applause ]
I thought that this was, like, the Karen show.
This ain't the Karen show.
This is the Karen friends show.
That's what it is.
[cheers and applause]
There's something hanging out of the cutout.
I can't.
Okay, girl, get your variety show on
wit' your costume changes.
Are you guys enjoying yourselves?
[applause]
Ooh, Lord, y'all know how to party,
but you know what?
Again, this is an evening about love.
- Hey! - Girl, how are you?
- How is you doin'? - Welcome.
This is where we're gonna ask some sizzling questions.
The least I could do, is take a seat, and pull up,
and give some advice for you. So...
What-what's happening?
I thought they were gonna be interviewing Karen.
I know y'all just wanna ask these ladies some questions.
So, we will be happy to answer.
Here we go. [applause]
[laughter and cheers]
Don't go into church 'cause--
and look for a man 'cause in church,
he's praying for several women to be around him.
I'm just sayin'.
I shopped at the Black caucus, and I got Ray.
[cheers and applause]
Look at Ray's face. Look at Ray's face.
[laughing]
Mmm, wow.
Right now, I'm standing in my blessing.
Thank you. Yeah. [applause]
So, I have a question, grande dame.
[cheering] - Ask your question.
What do you do
when you share something with a friend of yours,
and she runs her mouth and tells her friends?
Ooh, okay.
♪
So, I have a question, grande dame.
[cheering] - Ask your question.
What do you do
when you share something with a friend of yours,
and she runs her mouth and tells her friends?
Ooh, okay.
I think Miss Thornton is putting me
on a-a-a-a chopping block.
I love you, Mia, but stop it.
This ain't your show.
Whatever I said about you, was the truth, Mia.
Get over it. It's all right.
[whooping]
Transparency is key.
All right, we'll work on it. Can we work on it?
And if I tell you somethin', don't run and tell these two.
[whooping] - Wait, wait.
'Cause I'm gonna tell it! I'm gonna tell it.
I will work on it. I'm not perfect.
Thank you, Mia. I love you.
- That's right. - Your boob is out.
Put your-- your boob is out.
Sorry, my Barbie titties are out.
[snorting]
Why do people get upset when they get called out, right?
Like, you-you did it. You can't even be mad.
Sit your ass down
and go ahead and complete your build-a-puss project
and leave me the [BLEEP] alone in my show.
I-- there's-- I have a lot to say.
[laughter and applause]
All right, ladies.
This show is more successful than I ever thought it would be,
and it's because of you. [cheers and applause]
And I thank you for your love and support
for doing that. - We love you!
When I met Karen, she really did have a big ego
just because she was Karen Huger
married to the Black Bill Gates.
Now, her ego is on, like, 25 million.
I always knew that, you know, I have the gift for gab.
I love to talk, and I love people.
She just thinks her mere presence is important.
It's not, girl.
Hmm...
[laughter]
I haven't even introduced Candiace and Deborah.
Sorry. Candiace, have you met Deborah?
This is my friend, Deborah. This is Candiace.
We met at the spring party.
- Oh, is this your friend? - Yes.
You said was grab-- Chris was grabbing on her?
Is this the one? - He wasn't grabbing on me.
- I never said that. - He was flirtin' heavy.
- Okay. - He wasn't grabbing on me.
- He was flirting heavily. - He was. He was.
Okay. What was he saying to you?
He was. He introduced himself,
and I told him that my husband's also name was Christopher.
- Okay. - And he said,
"Oh, you know a lot of us Chrises. We're all similar.
A lot of us all act alike."
I said, "I guess so." - Yes.
And then his elbow was gettin' closer and closer.
- Oh. - He didn't touch me.
His eyes-- - I never said he did.
God damn it.
This is, yeah, this is the one.
Yeah, it was-- it was her plan.
I might be the one but not the only one.
I wasn't the only one
he was giving googly eyes to at the bar.
He was flirting with-with all your friends.
He was.
Girl...
Do Wendy and Candiace rate on a scale?
I would put them at, like, eight-plus.
[sighs] Deborah, I like her,
but she's, like, maybe a four and a half.
Mm-hmm, yeah. Okay.
I mean, she's cute, but she's not, like, cute.
[cheers and applause]
Let's bring to the stage Jasmine Masters.
[cheers and applause] Hey, come on, Jasmine.
Come onto the stage, baby.
[cheers and applause]
♪
[cheers and applause]
Thank you for coming,
and this concludes our show.
I hope you enjoyed yourselves.
God bless. [cheers and applause]
Oh, love it! That was cute.
Candiace?
Candiace, I know that you have, like, some weird feeling
about my friend-- - Girl, no.
We're going.
Why are you trying to dismiss my friend?
Like, that's-- is this what you did to Jacqueline?
Can you just clear the air?
She didn't have-- - No.
Bad intentions with you.
Why is Ashley insisting that I talk to "Sesame Street?"
Because Ashley is a messy ho.
Why on God's green Earth
would you bring this random "Sesame Street" character
up to the place where I'm gonna be?
Go count some letters and some numbers.
Go do your ABCs. Go read a book to a child.
Do you wanna chat with me for a one-on-one?
No, ma'am.
I'm not talking to that "Sesame Street" character,
so tell that Black bitch to stay away from me.
Don't.
- Are we goin'? - I think we're going.
♪