1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,926
[opening theme music playing]

2
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,146
[waves lapping]

3
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,315
[footsteps approaching]

4
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,733
Damn, Dagmar,

5
00:01:06,816 --> 00:01:09,652
you murdered your own daughter
by tossing her into the ocean.

6
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,863
You're even more depraved than I thought.

7
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:15,492
Oh, Satan, darling,
save the pillow talk for later.

8
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,453
-[Satan] Aw.
-Dagmar killed Bean?

9
00:01:18,536 --> 00:01:21,581
-[all gasps]
-Aw. We were all on her health insurance.

10
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:26,377
-[dramatic music playing]
-[screams]

11
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:31,800
Did I die? Am I in heaven?

12
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,259
[chuckles] Not yet.

13
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,597
[gasp and gurgle]

14
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,682
But Bean was your whole plan, darling.

15
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,769
You just threw the bloody plan
in the bloody ocean.

16
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:45,438
Speaking of which,
would you mind not twirling that so much?

17
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,023
You're dripping on my spats.

18
00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:50,360
Ugh. For the King of Hell,
you sure do bellyache a lot.

19
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,653
Oh, don't give me that look.

20
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:55,824
[device powering up]

21
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,953
We need a Bean to unlock the magic.

22
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,329
It doesn't say which Bean.

23
00:02:01,412 --> 00:02:02,413
Wait a second.

24
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,417
Where's this head's goddamn body?

25
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,253
[gasps] Hide the body.

26
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,629
Mind your head, ma'am.

27
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:10,713
I mean never mind.

28
00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:15,051
♪ Bumpita, bumpita
Bumpita, bumpita, bumpita… ♪

29
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:18,680
[gasps and whispers] They're coming out!
Everyone, skedaddle!

30
00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:20,765
[in normal voice] Ow! My eyeball's stuck!

31
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,476
[groans] Ow!

32
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:27,897
Now, we just have to find the body,
some assembly required,

33
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,816
and everything will be mine.

34
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,067
I mean ours.

35
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:35,905
Bean can't be dead.

36
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,452
Come on, Bean.

37
00:02:41,536 --> 00:02:43,872
Look! There she is!

38
00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,708
Oh. Wait, no, that's a canoe paddle.

39
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,169
No, wait, there! [chuckles]

40
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:51,212
Oh, wait, no, another canoe paddle.

41
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:52,922
There she… Oops.

42
00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,217
Dead walrus. Aw. So bloated.

43
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,511
Elfo, I dug her too.

44
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:02,348
Not in the creepy-crawly way you did,
but she's gone, chumley.

45
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,643
What? Blood?

46
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,562
No. No.

47
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:11,232
No, no, no, no, no. No!

48
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,609
[panting]

49
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:35,298
Bean! Bean!

50
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,257
[takes deep breath]

51
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,969
[coughing and gurgling]

52
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,097
Is he swimming or drowning?

53
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,432
Let's wait and see.

54
00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:46,809
[gasping and panting]

55
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:52,523
[sobs] This is all that's left of her.

56
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:56,236
One single, solitary, sturdy boot.

57
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,618
Your feet were so big.

58
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,790
[sighs]

59
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:11,793
She was the first person I ever loved.

60
00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:13,836
She was the first person I didn't hate.

61
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,589
She was the first person
to permit me to sit down.

62
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,758
Hey, what you doing, Bunty? Stand up!

63
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:22,845
For once, Luci's right.
Sitting around won't help anybody.

64
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,138
I know you're sad.

65
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:27,016
I'm sad, Bunty's sad, Luci's something,

66
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:32,063
but Bean died trying to save Dreamland,
and we have to finish what she started.

67
00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:36,401
We don't know exactly what
Dagmar and Satan want, but I declare,

68
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:39,529
by the crusty yarn strings
of my sacred mop,

69
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:44,367
the only thing
standing between those jerks and us is us.

70
00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:46,536
Who's with me? For Bean.

71
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,121
-[Bunty] For Bean!
-[Elfo] For Bean!

72
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,580
[groans] Mop water!

73
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,958
[gargling]

74
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,419
[hawks] Thui.

75
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,130
We can't let Dagmar find Bad Bean's body.

76
00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,298
Got it, naked Elfo?

77
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,384
Don't you worry,
I found a brilliant hiding place.

78
00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:04,554
Too brilliant for me, actually.
I've forgotten where.

79
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,849
[sighs] I gotta go to bed, I'm exhausted.

80
00:05:08,599 --> 00:05:09,600
Throw me my shorts.

81
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:13,896
[groans]

82
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,024
[somber music playing]

83
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:20,153
Huh?

84
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,821
[yawning]

85
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,240
[screaming]

86
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,492
Bunty!

87
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,787
I do me best, Elfo.
I left a mint on the pillow.

88
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:31,622
I don't see any mint, Bunty.

89
00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,000
Look down the neck stump. Nighty-night.

90
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,587
[uneasy music playing]

91
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:44,594
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,

92
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:49,682
presenting the brand-new husband
of the brand-new Queen of Dreamland,

93
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:54,062
get ready to meet our final boss
and fearless leader,

94
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:58,483
the Prince of Darkness,
the King of Cruelty,

95
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:01,235
the Asswipe of Alabama,

96
00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:04,363
I'm talkin' 'bout Satan!

97
00:06:05,656 --> 00:06:08,034
[scattered applause]

98
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:11,579
Hello, Steamland!

99
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,915
[crowd booing]

100
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:17,710
Hello, schmoes! Ha ha. Your queen is home.

101
00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,715
I can't hear you.

102
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,884
[crowd cheering louder]

103
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,136
That's it, you little yutzes.

104
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,179
"Little yutzes"?

105
00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:29,722
What's that supposed to mean?

106
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,725
Ooh. You think Dagmar knows Trøg Leavo?

107
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,602
Oh, she knows about the very thing

108
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:37,688
that guards the very stuff
that makes us so very paranoid.

109
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:43,861
My contemptible, quivering subjects,
you have nothing much to fear from me.

110
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,406
However, someone in Dreamland,
no doubt, in this very crowd,

111
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,909
swiped something precious of mine.

112
00:06:49,992 --> 00:06:51,119
A headless body.

113
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:54,122
Don't look at me,
I only collect the heads.

114
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,332
The bodies go to Fred, the dog-food maker.

115
00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:59,460
Don't look at me.
I only use low-grade human beef.

116
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,087
[chomps and swallows]

117
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:05,716
Enough! Whoever has the body
will find their lives a living nightmare

118
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:09,554
until I get it back,
and I will get it back.

119
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:11,013
Any questions?

120
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,515
Come on, don't be shy.

121
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,600
I'm getting angry!

122
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:15,768
Now I'm calming down.

123
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,520
I have a question.

124
00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,939
It seems like
we have to wait a year or more

125
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:22,108
for each new development around here.

126
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:26,821
How can you expect us to even remember
what's going on after such a long delay?

127
00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,323
You're keeping me
waiting right now-- [grunts]

128
00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:32,410
Any other stupid questions?

129
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:35,746
Oh, you mean like the stupid question
you just asked? [chuckles]

130
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:39,125
Fine. Let the interrogations begin.

131
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:43,421
Let's start with, say…

132
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,673
Elfo, Luci, Mop Girl, and Bunty.

133
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,968
[chuckles] Nice knowing you.

134
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,095
What are you laughing at?
Grab the pig too!

135
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:54,849
Ooh. My pork rinds. And anus.

136
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:57,393
[dramatic music playing]

137
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,148
[rumbling]

138
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:15,453
Ah. I still can't believe you're for real.

139
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,163
Mora, you're for real, right?

140
00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:22,168
I've had a lot of dreams
and delusions and drug trips lately…

141
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:23,085
Cool.

142
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,754
-And ayahuasca retreats.
-[chuckles]

143
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,506
But you're real, right?

144
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:31,469
Aw. Look at your toes curl.
I wish I had toes.

145
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:37,016
I feel better right now
than I've felt since, probably, ever.

146
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,559
I don't wanna go back home.

147
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,729
This damp cave is pretty cozy.

148
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,272
Then don't go back home.

149
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,273
Yeah, right.

150
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:46,984
Hey, where's my other boot?

151
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,862
I'm serious. Bean, you're free.

152
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,449
The Land World thinks you're dead,
so nobody's gonna be looking for you.

153
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,327
-Let's just scram out of here.
-I don't know.

154
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,163
Babe, your mom pushed you off a cliff.

155
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,541
-Balcony.
-Way worse. Let's go.

156
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,377
I want to, I… I really do,

157
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:07,588
but my friends are up there
and… and I'm their queen.

158
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,215
Come on, Queen Bean.

159
00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,342
This might be our only chance.

160
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,554
Think of this moment
like a loophole around fate.

161
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,267
I know this rickety, little beach shack
where we could live happily ever after.

162
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:22,562
Sweetie, every day could be like today.

163
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:31,279
Ugh! Waiting is the worst torture
of all, except for the torture.

164
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,947
You're not in our gang, Merkimer.

165
00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,700
Guard, this demon is hurting my feelings.

166
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,201
Listen up, you meatballs.

167
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,621
We'll be fine, as long as everyone
keeps their big, fat mouth shut.

168
00:09:40,705 --> 00:09:44,250
[scoffs] You're not the one with
headless evidence lounging in your bed.

169
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,835
Quit bragging, horndog.

170
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,461
I'm sorry, wee Elfo.

171
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:50,464
I'm usually in less of a rush
when I hide a body!

172
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,675
Stop whisper-shouting secrets!

173
00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:56,345
Remember, everyone gives the same answer.

174
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,264
"I don't remember nothin'."

175
00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,474
You can use proper grammar,
if you know any.

176
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,060
Excellent.
I've barely been paying attention.

177
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:07,982
Well, if it isn't Bean's disgustingly
diverse group of gals and pals.

178
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:09,900
I'll deal with the demon.

179
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,653
Come, Luci,
and I'm not just yanking your chain.

180
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:13,613
Yikes!

181
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:19,410
And I'll take the rest of you.
In order of height, tallest first.

182
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,662
Oh! Lousy size queen.

183
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,164
That way, I'll be all warmed up

184
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:26,542
by the time I get to a certain
pathetic peon with pointy ears.

185
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:29,295
They're not that pointy, cone bra.

186
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:31,088
[Dagmar] Oh, Bunty!

187
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,342
Where were you last night?

188
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,302
Well, from 7:30 to 9:00,

189
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:39,221
I hang from a rope
and scrub the outside castle walls,

190
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,558
then from 9:00 to 11:00,
I'm down in the coal mines, digging.

191
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,601
From 11:00 to closing,

192
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,228
I'm an exotic dancer
at Shrimpo's Clown Room

193
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,398
where I go
bomb-a-bomb-a-bomb-bomb-bomb for money.

194
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,858
[growls]

195
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,652
Think Bunty spilled the beans?

196
00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:53,653
Not only that,

197
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:57,740
she put 'em in a big, old, cast-iron pot
and is stirring a whole mess of chili

198
00:10:57,823 --> 00:10:59,742
for Dagmar to feed to our dead bodies.

199
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,285
I hope there's sour cream.

200
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:02,995
Next!

201
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:06,165
Now I can't get that goddamn
"boom-boom" out of my head.

202
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:10,169
[carnival music playing]

203
00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:13,839
[people chatter]

204
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,342
Step right up, ladies and gents.

205
00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:18,928
The sand in the litter boxes
have been fully sifted

206
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:22,056
and the freaks are ready to be ridiculed.

207
00:11:22,139 --> 00:11:24,725
But don't feed them,
it only gives them hope.

208
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,979
Oh, Sorcerio.
The only thing freaky about me

209
00:11:29,063 --> 00:11:30,231
is how much I miss you.

210
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,358
Hey, look at that lonely fella. [chuckles]

211
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:34,402
Can't you see I'm pining here?

212
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:38,155
Hey, Lamb, how many eyeballs
does that guy got?

213
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,659
I don't know. One, two…

214
00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,911
-Ow! Hey!
-[snickers]

215
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:47,665
[exhales] How many baseballs
does that guy got?

216
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,375
One, two…

217
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:50,793
Hey, watch it!

218
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,754
If I had my pine cones here,
you'd be sorry.

219
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,005
[woman] Pine cones?

220
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,341
My dear, sweet Jasper, is that you?

221
00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:02,263
Mama, I thought you burnt to a crisp!
I cried like an idiot.

222
00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:05,349
Oh, Jasper,
I've never been happier in my life

223
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,018
to be chained up and fed old hot dog buns.

224
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,604
My mom is a very busy pirate queen,

225
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,190
so she doesn't make
banana bread for me anymore.

226
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,359
Once out at sea, I begged and begged,

227
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:17,778
and finally,
she baked me a loaf in the galley,

228
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,573
but then the ship burned down
and we lost 40 men.

229
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:24,785
Now, when I mention bananas, she screams.
Sure miss that banana bread.

230
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,705
I hate my dad too. I hate you, Dad!

231
00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:29,748
[man] Now you're grounded
for another year.

232
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,834
I'm glad my nanny divorced you.

233
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:32,960
Mom was right.

234
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,838
Nanny Gretchen
was a sneaky, lowlife skank.

235
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,507
Hey, Derek, wanna ogle
my naughty tire calendar?

236
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,718
It presents a distorted view of women,

237
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:44,263
but looking at Nanny Gretchen
makes me feel weird and conflicted.

238
00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,473
Tell you what, Petey.

239
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:50,019
If you stop talking about Nanny Gretchen,
I'll stop talking about the big skillet.

240
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:53,189
For the last time, where's the body?

241
00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:54,732
Let me ask you a question.

242
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,818
Why does a sexy she-devil like you
wear such cheap perfume?

243
00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:01,155
You know, Mop Girl, I like your sass.
I think we could use you.

244
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,574
Have you ever thought
of joining the dark side?

245
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,910
I tried it once in college. Not for me.

246
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,245
Next.

247
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:14,126
Welcome to my chamber, Elfo. Have a seat.

248
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,212
-Comfy? Good.
-Mm-hmm.

249
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:19,507
You see before you a vast array
of torture instruments.

250
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,634
Anything on the table pique your interest?

251
00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,720
So many to choose from.
Um, what's that one called?

252
00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:25,804
The Bone Popper.

253
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,223
-And that one?
-Tongue Twister.

254
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,559
No, not that one.
The one next over, to the left.

255
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,978
-Your other left. Right.
-Skull Squeezer.

256
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,314
-What's that do?
-It squeezes your skull.

257
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,484
-Oh. Soft squeeze or hard squeeze?
-Hard squeeze.

258
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:40,319
-And that one?
-Rubber Pants.

259
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,446
Ew. No. And that one?

260
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,989
-Finger Snapper.
-Hmm.

261
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,158
-Is it painful?
-What do you think?

262
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:47,493
Hmm. What about that one?

263
00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:49,912
That's the Scrotum Slapper, you twit!

264
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,498
Eh. So hard to decide.
Let's start over again.

265
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:53,707
You've five seconds!

266
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,502
Oh. Well, I like that one,
but the other one…

267
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,837
-That does it!
-I pick the Rubber Pants!

268
00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:01,090
-Too late!
-[screams]

269
00:14:03,842 --> 00:14:08,889
Ah! I'm so glad we could
have this little chat, demon to demon.

270
00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,185
[exclaims]

271
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:17,606
I promised myself I wouldn't gush,
but I am such a big fan of your work.

272
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:23,362
I mean, floods, famines, tapeworms,
hangnails, seasonal candles.

273
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:25,698
Dude, you are a genius!

274
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:28,701
We workshopped cilantro for centuries.

275
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:30,327
It shows.

276
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,288
I like you, Luci.

277
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:35,124
In fact, I see some of myself in you

278
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:39,003
and I know Hell would
be very kindly disposed to you

279
00:14:39,086 --> 00:14:40,754
if you did me a favor.

280
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,590
Can you do me a favor, Luci?

281
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,258
Uh… Depends.

282
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,260
Does it have to do
with that headless body?

283
00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:49,680
What do you wanna do with it anyway?
Somethin' sketchy? Huh?

284
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:51,390
[chuckles] Is it a sex thing?

285
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:54,268
The old "Answering a question
with a question" trick.

286
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:55,811
You know, I invented that.

287
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,146
Invented what?

288
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:59,481
You don't know
who you're dealing with here,

289
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,691
what you're up against.

290
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:03,611
Neither do you, watery hot sauce.

291
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:08,657
See, uh, you think
you can ply me with liquor,

292
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,619
and cigars, and naked playing cards,

293
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:16,290
and lean into all my daddy issues,
and I'll just sing like a canary,

294
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:19,543
"Tweedle-deedle-dee,
deedle-doo." [chuckles]

295
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:23,589
Well, joke's on you, Satan,
'cause I don't even got a dad.

296
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,508
You don't? Why, of course, you have a dad…

297
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,093
son.

298
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,056
[gulps] Wait a minute.

299
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:35,559
We're enjoying, what is this? [slurps]

300
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:37,728
Fine brandy,

301
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:42,816
an ounce of rum,
some curaçao, simple syrup,

302
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:46,862
freshly-squeezed lemon juice,
and a single rat pellet!

303
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:51,867
It's a Brandy Daisy, my first cocktail!
I was three years old.

304
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:55,329
You weren't one
of my drinking buddies. [gasps]

305
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:56,956
Daddy?

306
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:57,957
Yes.

307
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:00,709
Yes, well, um… [clears throat]

308
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,421
Uh, why don't you tell your old man
where the body is?

309
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,882
But I have so much else to tell you, Papa.

310
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,718
Oh. Let me go grab
the scrapbook. [humming]

311
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,345
[stutters] Scrapbook?

312
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:16,600
[groans] Please, I keep on telling you,
I don't remember nothing.

313
00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,394
I don't remember nothing!

314
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,854
Stop talking like
a countrified hillbilly elf,

315
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,398
I just don't buy it.

316
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,192
Watch where you snap that thing, lady.

317
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:28,278
You know what I hate most?
Wasting my time.

318
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,655
Ow!

319
00:16:29,738 --> 00:16:32,533
So you wanna play snap the bum-bum, do ya?

320
00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:35,619
[chuckles] Okay, Kissy… I mean, Dagmar,

321
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:39,373
I definitely have some mighty
ambivalent feelings about that.

322
00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:41,041
You think this is a joke, Elfo?

323
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,502
I've been waiting my whole life
for this moment.

324
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:46,422
It's bigger than you, or me,
or anything else

325
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,798
in this tacky, little kingdom,

326
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:53,053
and I will not be thwarted by a simpering,
whimpering, whiny, little elf.

327
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:55,472
-[simpering]
-You're simpering right now!

328
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,225
Bean was ten times the queen
you'll ever be.

329
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:02,187
[gasps] I'm sorry, is it too late
to pick a safe word?

330
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:05,149
You know that I know
that you know where the body is.

331
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,651
You'd be surprised how much I don't know.

332
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:10,696
And if I can't find it,
I'll kill you for fun.

333
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,073
[groans and pants]

334
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,243
At least, the Rubber Pants
cushioned my ass.

335
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,748
[whispers] Be strong, Merkimer.
Everything depends on you.

336
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,876
As it always has.
You can rely on me, Elmo.

337
00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:24,960
Next!

338
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,880
Madam, I bring you
a multiple choice seduction.

339
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,841
Do you want, A, my undying adulation?

340
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:35,679
B, my adult-style undulations,
or C, all of the above?

341
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:41,977
Ye Gods, you are
some hunks of woman, my queen.

342
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,103
Shut up, you.

343
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:46,857
I don't mean to be impertinent,
but, uh, are you two sisters?

344
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:47,900
[groans]

345
00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,611
Yo, I won't even mind
if the severed head watches.

346
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:56,366
We could make very kinky, red-hot love,
right here, on this filthy floor.

347
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,701
That gives me an idea.

348
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,953
Ho-ho! Yes, please.

349
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:04,249
You tell me where the body is,
or I'll brand your body with this L poker.

350
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,167
For lovers?

351
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,960
-For loser.
-[groans]

352
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:10,881
'Tis not the sizzling pork platter
I dreamed of.

353
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:14,635
No, wait, my lady, I'm a squealer.
I'll tell you everything.

354
00:18:14,718 --> 00:18:17,888
Guards, fetch
the royal corpse-handling gloves.

355
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:19,515
The velvet ones.

356
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:21,433
The body's in Elfo's bedroom.

357
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,435
[tense music playing]

358
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,985
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay, here's me with
the first torture instrument I invented.

359
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,530
-I call it The Banjo.
-[grunts]

360
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,199
Ah! And here's me
inventing Liver and Onions.

361
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:41,620
And here's me serving children
Liver and Onions in Hell. [chuckles]

362
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:42,538
[sighs] Yeah.

363
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,374
Party's over! I've got a torso to find.

364
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:46,625
Oh, thank God.

365
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:49,378
Uh, goodbye, Luci. You're free to go.

366
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:51,380
-Hello, Luci.
-'Sup, Dagmar.

367
00:18:52,506 --> 00:18:55,676
[sniffs] Ugh! You reek
of brandy and failure.

368
00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,553
I'm sorry, dear. [sighs softly]

369
00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:01,265
Luci's a master.
I'm pretty sure he tortured me.

370
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,892
Whoa-ho! Hot trophy wife, Pops.

371
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,896
Yeah, yeah, she's got her assets.
Um… [clears throat]

372
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,023
Honestly, the whole wedding
was a debt to Hell

373
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,275
that went very, very badly.

374
00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,486
Ah! Thank God. Well, goodbye, Luci.

375
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,280
Is Dagmar my mom now?

376
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:21,243
Uh, no. Your mom passed away
many, many millennia ago,

377
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,162
but it's a sad story, but, you know.

378
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,246
She can be my new mom.

379
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,666
Really, trust me, you wanna
find somewhere else to be right now.

380
00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:29,209
No, I'm comfortable here, actually.

381
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,627
All right. Uh…

382
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,172
-Sorry, Dag, let me just take care of--
-[groans]

383
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,048
We'll grab dinner tonight, all right?

384
00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:37,301
-Perfect. What time?
-I don't… Text me.

385
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:39,011
[stutters] I can't.

386
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:39,970
I'll invent it.

387
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:44,391
-[sentimental music playing]
-[mermaid] Come on, Bean. Let's go.

388
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:52,441
Okay, what are you worried about?
Elfo? He'll be fine.

389
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,444
You know I want you. What do you want?

390
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,655
No one's ever asked me that before.

391
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,961
[both scream, groan]

392
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:18,425
[groans] Elfo, Dagmar knows.
She's on her way to your room right now!

393
00:20:18,508 --> 00:20:21,220
[gasps] We'll never get there
in time with our little legs,

394
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,765
and Dagmar with her long,
sexy gams that go on forever.

395
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:26,391
I know a secret shortcut.

396
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,978
I use it to avoid people
when they're, you know, people. Come on!

397
00:20:33,857 --> 00:20:35,317
[Dagmar groans]

398
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:38,612
J-7.

399
00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,782
Where the bloody hell are you, J-7?

400
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,534
I'll kill you, J-7!

401
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:55,337
What the… [groans]

402
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:18,735
Turn to page 982.

403
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,283
You can skim!

404
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:28,161
[Elfo gasps]

405
00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:50,309
[both grunting]

406
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,227
You're lifting her wrong!

407
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:55,564
Well, I'm sorry, stolen cadavers
don't come with instructions.

408
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,816
[footsteps approaching]

409
00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,402
[gasps] It's her.
I'd know those boots anywhere.

410
00:22:01,069 --> 00:22:02,404
Ha!

411
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:05,157
[moaning and kissing]

412
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,242
Elfo, the hell is going on in here?

413
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,746
[sighs] Haven't you ever seen
a romantic grope session before?

414
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,622
Him? Really?

415
00:22:12,706 --> 00:22:15,917
Oh, Mop Girl, you're so much better
than that mini elf.

416
00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:19,254
Hey! The word "mini"
is implied in the word elf.

417
00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:22,215
A-ha!

418
00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,384
Hmm. If I find out you're lying to me,

419
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:27,596
the only thing you'll be kissing
is your ass good-bye.

420
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:29,014
Okay, goodbye!

421
00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,267
[footsteps departing]

422
00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:38,857
Wow. That was almost bad, huh?

423
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:41,777
What? No, no, no, it's not you.

424
00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:45,530
I… I always flinch when I'm touched,
so that's like a…

425
00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,033
Got it, you mean Dagmar.
Okay, yeah. Mm-hmm.

426
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:51,870
No, okay, yeah. No, that was,
yeah, that was bad. Really, super bad.

427
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:55,999
Yeah, I should probably
go mop something, or something.

428
00:22:56,083 --> 00:22:58,794
-[chuckles]
-Okay, got it. Thank you.

429
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:02,339
Um, don't mop too hard. [chuckles]

430
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:05,884
Don't what? "Don't mop too hard"?
What are you thinking?

431
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,221
Oh, you're all tangled up.

432
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,934
Bean. I mean, can I call you that?

433
00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:17,771
I… I know you're just the torso
of the evil version of somebody I knew,

434
00:23:17,854 --> 00:23:20,190
but, well, you'll do.

435
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:21,942
Oh! Clammy!

436
00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:24,444
You know what they never tell you
about grief, Bean?

437
00:23:24,528 --> 00:23:26,530
Well, apart from the emotional eating.

438
00:23:26,613 --> 00:23:30,367
They never tell you that the worst part
isn't missing the past we had.

439
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:32,786
It's missing the future we'll never get.

440
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:38,208
[sighs] I wasted so much time
wanting you to be something else for me,

441
00:23:38,291 --> 00:23:40,418
I didn't appreciate what you were.

442
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:42,003
My friend.

443
00:23:42,087 --> 00:23:43,713
My best friend.

444
00:23:44,631 --> 00:23:46,091
I'm so sorry.

445
00:23:46,174 --> 00:23:49,928
From here on out, there's gonna be a hole
in the world where you're supposed to be.

446
00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:52,222
Goodbye, Bean.

447
00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:54,432
[sighs]

448
00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:59,271
[Bean] Oh, Elfo.

449
00:23:59,354 --> 00:24:01,064
[gasps] Bean?

450
00:24:01,148 --> 00:24:02,899
Oh, Elfo!

451
00:24:03,984 --> 00:24:05,235
[knuckle cracks]

452
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,405
[closing theme music playing]