1
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[theme music playing]
2
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[man] Hey!
3
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Next to present their bountiful harvest
4
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for His Majesty's blessing
and immediate confiscation,
5
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he's a farmer with six teeth.
She's his wife with none.
6
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Ole and Alice!
7
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-That is wheat, Your Highness. Wheat.
-What?
8
00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:58,135
-Wheat.
-What?
9
00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,314
-Wheat.
-What?
10
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:00,312
-Wheat.
-What?
11
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,523
-Wheat.
-What?
12
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:02,603
-Wheat.
-What?
13
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Ah, I'm just screwing with you,
liven things up a little.
14
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Gimme the thing, will you?
15
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Blessings to you, from your greasy hair
to your filthy, ripped-up shoes.
16
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-Those are his feet, Your Highness.
-Those are feet?
17
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Well, it's understandable.
They are leathery.
18
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Plus, there's laces holdin' the skin on.
19
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Next!
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Tedrick the shepherd and Daisy,
the one sheep you haven't eaten yet.
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I made you the biggest,
itchiest wool sweater I could,
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but if it's too snug, you can give it
to your fat, wimpy son.
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Eh, we'll give it to Bean.
24
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She doesn't care at all
about her appearance.
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Bean, thank this nice creep
so he'll move along.
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Where'd she go?
27
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She said if I told you,
she'd hurt Mr. Bear.
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What?
29
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[grunts in frustration]
30
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I only ask that girl to do two things:
Sit here and stay sober.
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And she never does neither.
Gimme my damn scepter.
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[grunting]
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[all gasp]
34
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Nice toss, Dad.
35
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-Next round's on Zog.
-[all cheer]
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-And give this guy a double.
-Oh, well, aren't you sweet?
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[grunts]
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Okay, okay, okay, I got one. Who's this?
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[groans] "I got killed by a chair."
40
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Oh, oh, oh. One of your fiancés?
That guy you murdered?
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What's-his-name,
the Forgettable... Guysbert.
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Ding, ding, ding! Whoo!
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Okay, me next, chumps.
[clears throat]
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"I'm a big, fat king,
and I'm married to a salamander, and my daughter
has a dangerous drinking problem."
45
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Zog! Drink!
46
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Me next. Me next. Guess who this is.
[clears throat]
47
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"Hi, I'm Elfo."
48
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Ooh, ooh, I know.
49
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The guy with the goofy shoes,
reeks of flop sweat and licorice...
50
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Oh, he's really annoying.
What's his name? I wanna say Quelfo?
51
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[chuckles] Not even close.
It's me. I'm Elfo.
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Good try? Let's drink anyway, right?
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[hammering in distance]
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-Hay man.
-What?
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No, they've almost finished the hay man.
56
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-What? The hay man?
-What the hey, man?
57
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I'm talking about the hay man
for the harvest bonfire.
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It's the best night of the year,
but Zog never lets me go.
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He doesn't trust me 'cause he thinks
I'm just a dumb kid.
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That's so sad you never get to go.
61
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No, no, I go every year.
He just never lets me.
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Hmm. I can't quite figure out
why he doesn't trust you.
63
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All right, we got a big day tomorrow.
Let's grab one last drink for the road.
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[Bean] It's drunk and I'm late.
We better sneak in quietly.
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[climbing rope]
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[breathing heavily]
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[grunts]
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Oh, floor, you're always there for me.
So supportive.
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Not like walls and staircases,
always getting in my way.
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[Zog] Oh, Beanie, you're a no-good,
drunken disgrace.
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And in this kingdom,
that's sayin' something.
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[Elfo] So, now you're telling me your tail
has a mind of its own?
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'Cause before, you said it was prehensile.
So, just saying.
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[Luci] Shh, shh, shh. Shut up.
75
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-Bean's getting yelled at by her dad.
-Ow!
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You ran off from your royal duties
to get drunk.
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Oh, so, you noticed? You weren't too busy
with your new family?
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New? I've been remarried for years.
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And since that time, I've become
less and less important to you.
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You barely noticed when I traded places
with that pauper for a year.
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[groans] What do you want from me?
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I'd like to have a role to play
in your life, in the kingdom.
83
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I'm tired of feeling useless.
84
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Ah, Beanie, it's so hard to know
what to do without yellin'.
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[groans]
86
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-[door closes]
-[sighs]
87
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I don't see problem. Your daughter
feel useless because she is useless.
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But she's hurtin'.
89
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:13,354
Her purpose is to be married off
to unite kingdoms, like we do.
90
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Make offspring, like Derek.
91
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,775
I can't sleep with Mr. Bear like this.
92
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Vip, Vap, escort Derek
back to his room, huh.
93
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:25,833
I don't know. I don't want Bean
to be unhappy. Can't we throw her a bone?
94
00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:29,038
Well, sire, we do have
the upcoming trip to Dankmire,
95
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but it's a rather delicate
diplomatic mission.
96
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Perfect. Give her some phony-baloney job
with a fancy title and a sash.
97
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,967
Aren't ambassadorships usually
just given to rich chumps
98
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to make them feel important?
99
00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:46,138
Yeah, and it's working.
Express boat to Dankmire.
100
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Ugh. Tourists.
101
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[Elfo] We're almost there.
102
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I'm so excited,
my skin is breaking out in sprinkles.
103
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-Those're mosquito bites.
-I'm scratching with excitement. Hey, hey, peewee, no bleeding.
Your blood belongs to me.
104
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Oh, this is so interesting.
105
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Did you know Dreamland forced Dankmire
to build this canal?
106
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Then, they fought a 100-year war
over who owns the canal,
107
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and the war only ended when a certain
King Zog of Dreamland, your dad,
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married Princess Oona of Dankmire.
That's your weird stepmom.
109
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,983
Yeah, I remember their wedding.
110
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I got jealous and put a dead owl
in their cake.
111
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-People, like, ate the whole thing.
-Hey! That's in here, too.
112
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-Wow! Beautiful.
-Oona, you grew up here.
113
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Can you just tell me about this place,
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and I'll try to decipher your accent?
115
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Don't worry. Every visitor to Dankmire
receives a famously warm welcome.
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-You are two minutes late.
-[all grunt]
117
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"Warm refers to
the sweltering temperature,
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not the notoriously grim locals."
119
00:07:31,742 --> 00:07:34,042
Hmm, this is where Oona gets
her sense of humor.
120
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Is true. I was class clown.
121
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Is joke.
122
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Or is?
123
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-"Dankmirians love protocol."
-[all grunt]
124
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"They consider it rude to bow
without bowing first."
125
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-I can tell this place already sucks--
-...ceeds at... -Blowing--
-...away our expectations.
126
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Your Highness,
on behalf of all of Dreamland,
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may I just say thank you
for this charming reception.
128
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-And we thank you for your thank you.
-[all grunt]
129
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,071
-[Luci grunts]
-[all grunt]
130
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[Luci chuckles]
131
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:12,953
[grunts]
132
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:17,544
Hey, hey, now that's diplomacy.
Show us what else you got.
133
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Mr. Chancellor, we are at your disposal
134
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:25,587
and keen to experience more
of your local culture. What's next?
135
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-A play, in 16 acts.
-Ah.
136
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Performed by children.
137
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[laughs]
138
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:35,352
Yay!
139
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:43,265
Hey, fish, that peanut butter
on my tail was mine. [grunts]
140
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:46,776
Stupid fish, always takin'
my precious body butters.
141
00:08:57,078 --> 00:09:01,458
It's taken centuries, but our civilization
has literally risen out of the muck
142
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,961
to have one of the finest
community playhouses around.
143
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:06,304
[Zog groans]
144
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,799
Oh, uh, that's our way of saying "hmm."
145
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,014
[chomps] Hmm.
146
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:16,391
You will love this play
about our glorious canal.
147
00:09:16,472 --> 00:09:19,022
This thing better not be a musical.
148
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,020
No, but it is one of those plays
149
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where the actors come out
into the audience and bother people.
150
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:28,403
Ooh-hoo-hoo! That's the only kinda play
we have in Hell. [vocalizing]
151
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:35,581
You cannot stop Dankmirian progress,
swamp people.
152
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:40,448
Now stop complaining,
and build us the world's cleanest canal.
153
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,793
[boy] This means war.
154
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,879
[grunting]
155
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:48,842
[boy] Shut up.
156
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:56,799
And thus, the 500-year war was over,
157
00:09:56,887 --> 00:10:01,177
and Dankmire and Dreamland
share the beautiful canal
158
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,767
and the marriage of convenience.
159
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,523
Who's that fat kid with the crown
supposed to be?
160
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:09,526
All hail Dankmire.
161
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:12,357
Thank you for coming.
162
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:16,663
What the hell was that?
163
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,201
They're acting like we didn't contribute
to that canal.
164
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,195
As ambassador, I have to remind you
165
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:25,038
to not act like a caveman.
166
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,674
-Say something nice.
-No.
167
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:33,512
On behalf of Dreamland,
I'd like to say that that was a fine show.
168
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:36,761
That husky kid's a real tour de force.
169
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:37,854
[chancellor grunts]
170
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,353
All right, you did good.
171
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:44,691
Covering up the indiscretions of those
in power is an important part of the job.
172
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,609
Why don't you give the big speech
at tonight's banquet?
173
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:49,648
What? Me? Speech?
174
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,742
I've never written a speech before.
I guess I could try.
175
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:55,949
You'll do great, as long as you remember
176
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:59,910
our entire flimsy alliance
depends on it going perfect.
177
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,162
-Oh.
-Okay, good things.
178
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:05,374
You're a great writer.
I've read your diary.
179
00:11:05,456 --> 00:11:08,166
Uh... [chuckles]
I showed him where you hid it.
180
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:15,586
[Elfo and Luci slurping]
181
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:20,095
Everything is riding on this speech.
Luckily, Dad gave me his notes.
182
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,392
"Wing it"?
183
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,350
[groans]
184
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:27,729
[Elfo and Luci slurping]
185
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:31,572
Hey, welcome to Muddruckers. I'm Chazz.
Would you like to order a drink?
186
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:34,359
Or you want to keep working
on that decorative centerpiece?
187
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,364
[fly buzzing]
188
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,565
[slurps] Uh, what's your specialty?
189
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,987
Passive aggressive sarcasm.
[chuckles] Just kidding.
190
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,327
You got Chazz'd.
I'll bring you what you deserve.
191
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,371
Just soda for me!
192
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:49,787
I'm on a deadline.
193
00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:56,336
When in the course of human events...
No, that's stupid, stupid.
194
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,586
Love is... Oh, my gosh, I can't do this.
195
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,597
I'm never gonna be able to do this.
196
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,099
I've known a lot of writers.
Most of 'em go to Hell.
197
00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:08,731
And the one surefire way to unleash your
creative juice is with creative juice.
198
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,271
No. No alcohol.
199
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:13,694
Lucille, stop it.
You're being a bad influence.
200
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:16,574
Hey, I'm an enabler.
There's a big difference.
201
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:20,822
Here you go.
Booze, booze and boring.
202
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,486
Ooh, what is this?
203
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,115
Extra-strong Dankmirian Schnapps.
204
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:28,582
One shot is all you need.
So, I brought you two.
205
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,253
See? I don't even miss the alcohol.
206
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,809
Where the hell is Bean?
I got a lot riding on that girl.
207
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:56,026
[stammering] She... No... She's... Who?
208
00:12:56,108 --> 00:12:57,898
She's here. Take it away, Bean.
209
00:12:57,985 --> 00:12:59,985
-[Bean burps]
-[all gasp]
210
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:00,990
[moans]
211
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:04,826
Her ceremonial robe. It's backwards.
212
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:10,252
[slurring] Whoops-a-daisies.
Let me give it a spinneroo.
213
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:13,038
Whoo! How do you like me now?
214
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,785
Aw, jeez. What are you doing?
215
00:13:17,004 --> 00:13:20,384
-What happened to you?
-It's not her fault.
216
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,966
That's right. It's your fault.
217
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,391
-You didn't stop me.
-[gasps]
218
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:28,349
You should be proud of me, Dad.
I finished my speech and all the nachos.
219
00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,022
You're in no shape to deliver any speech.
220
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:33,601
-Sit down and shut up.
-[Bean groans]
221
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,857
I'll get Derek to give the speech.
222
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:38,980
He's part Dankmirian.
At least he appeals to someone.
223
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:43,318
What? You're gonna entrust
the future of our kingdom to that twerp?
224
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,155
Considering that twerp
is heir apparent to the throne
225
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:50,002
on whom the future of our kingdom
already rests, yeah.
226
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,249
[bell rings]
227
00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:52,670
Let us feast.
228
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:57,248
We'll begin with the traditional
Dankmirian dish, Lamprey Vivant.
229
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:58,336
Whoa!
230
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:01,130
Eh, teenagers... [chuckling]
231
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,255
Unless it's a boiled pear,
they're not interested.
232
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,854
Go on now. Down the hatch.
233
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,520
[Bean] I can do it. I can do it.
234
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,600
[shrieks]
235
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,805
[exclaims]
236
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:16,614
-Look who's enjoying their dinner.
-[Derek grunting]
237
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,779
[slurps and gulps]
238
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,739
Listen, boy, your sister
is a little under the weather.
239
00:14:22,820 --> 00:14:24,200
And under the table.
240
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,530
So, why don't you stand up
and say a few words?
241
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,156
Who, me? But I don't know how to--
242
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,714
Just butter 'em up with a nice toast.
243
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,458
Okay, I'll try.
244
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,330
[clears throat]
245
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:40,957
Hello, there. My name is
Bonnie Prince Derek of Dreamland.
246
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:45,256
I am here tonight to
butter your nice toast. Right, Dad?
247
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:47,972
-[groans]
-Except I don't know how to.
248
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,313
My nanny always does it for me.
249
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,679
Sometimes, I like marmalade, too.
250
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:57,063
Have you ever had apple butter?
That's something I might also have.
251
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,686
Uh-oh. I'll save you, bro.
252
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,316
[all gasp]
253
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,610
[slurring] Ladies and gentlemen,
I am the Honorable Ambassador Tiabeanie Mariabeanie
De La Rochambeaux Drunkowitz.
254
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:13,162
Remember the name. Remember the face.
255
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,245
Remember that time you had that play
and my dad was the fat kid?
256
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,253
That was awesome.
257
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:22,915
I'm so sorry that we had that long war.
258
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,465
I mean, that sucked.
259
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:28,638
But I think we can all agree one thing:
260
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,469
We kicked your asses.
261
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:31,814
[all gasp]
262
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,639
Hey, look at this.
I got sleeves like a bat.
263
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,846
-[Bean vocalizing]
-[all gasp]
264
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,808
[Luci] Hey, Bat Bean, fly over here.
265
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:42,318
[continues vocalizing]
266
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:48,408
Watch it. Watch out, or I'm gonna...
267
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,119
[vocalizes]
268
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,619
Ooh! Hang upside down.
269
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:57,250
Uh, so, in conclusion, Dreamland
never had a better friend than Dankmire,
270
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,381
-and I hope that never changes.
-[queen shrieks]
271
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,916
-[Bean laughing]
-[all gasp]
272
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:04,764
[all gasp loudly]
273
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:07,008
[Bean] Wearing dresses is hard.
274
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:11,851
Pay no attention to the naked ambassador
on the chandelier.
275
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:14,259
-[Bean burps and vomits]
-[chancellor] Ew!
276
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:15,428
Oh, boy.
277
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:20,519
Uh, let me... [gags]
Let me help you clean that.
278
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,114
[gags]
279
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:24,979
-I'm gonna--
-Stop. You're just smearing it around.
280
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,277
This is an outrage.
281
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,530
By appointing Ambassador Tiabeanie,
282
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:31,622
you've told us everything we need to know
about our alliance.
283
00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:35,659
-It is over. This is war! Again.
-[Bean grunts]
284
00:16:35,744 --> 00:16:38,374
Guards! Busboys! Seize them!
285
00:16:38,455 --> 00:16:40,955
-[Bean] No! No, no, no, no.
-[all protest]
286
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,131
Come on. This way.
287
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,680
How did you know that was there?
288
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,179
Uh, unlike some people,
I read the guidebook.
289
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,859
Just once could we go on a family vacation
without having to run away screaming?
290
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,609
Hold them off while I untie the barge.
291
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,605
I'll stop those jerks
dead in their tracks.
292
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,282
Here goes nothing.
293
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:19,829
-[inhales deeply and grunts]
-[grunts]
294
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:21,873
[Dankmirians grunt]
295
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,594
-[Luci and Elfo grunt]
-[Dankmirians grunt] -[Luci and Elfo grunt]
-[Dankmirians grunt]
296
00:17:29,673 --> 00:17:31,553
-[Luci and Elfo grunt]
-[Dankmirians grunt]
297
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,300
[grunts]
298
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,385
Okay, let's go. Let's go. Come on!
299
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,687
Quickly, the lock.
300
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:47,022
[grunting]
301
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:56,873
[all scream]
302
00:17:58,327 --> 00:17:59,237
[grunting]
303
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,247
I'll see you at home!
304
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,673
Mommy, I'm afraid!
305
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:11,012
-[Oona] Just stay close to your father!
-That's why I'm afraid.
306
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,260
[all scream]
307
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,353
[Dankmirians grunting]
308
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:23,193
Great job, Bean. I hope you can sense
my sarcasm through your drunken haze.
309
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,648
Yeah, yeah, I stink.
Derek, get on Dad's back.
310
00:18:25,729 --> 00:18:28,019
[Derek and Zog groan]
311
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,112
I'll get you!
312
00:18:33,695 --> 00:18:34,695
Unless you keep going.
313
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:38,120
-[guard 1] Shall we jump in after them?
-[guard 2] Please say no. Please say no.
314
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,620
No need. They're heading deep
into muskrat territory.
315
00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:44,293
The swamp monster will take care of them.
316
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:48,133
[guard 1] Aw.
Oh, that kind of "take care of them."
317
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,708
[Derek] And as we trudged
through the swamp,
318
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:56,548
I began to realize
my clothes had grown muddy.
319
00:18:56,635 --> 00:19:01,005
Hey! I told you
to stop narrating your memoirs.
320
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:05,438
Man, I really blew it. I was crazy
to think I could be an ambassador.
321
00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:08,359
This is why I always tell you
not to try things.
322
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:12,068
-Stop it. You're too discouraging.
-You're too encouraging.
323
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:14,571
Oh, yeah?
Why don't you do something about it?
324
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,783
Come on. I'm encouraging you.
325
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,454
Ow! [grunting]
326
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:22,952
Oh! Ah! Ah! Stop it!
327
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:26,041
You're not even a little nice.
328
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:29,213
You know what you are?
You're bad through and through,
329
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,753
from the tip of your pointy tail
to the tips of your pointy ears.
330
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:36,218
Ho, ho! You wanna come at me
about some pointy ears?
331
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,840
Have you ever seen your reflection?
332
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:39,887
Oh, my God.
333
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,890
I'm a freak.
334
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,682
-[laughs]
-[grunts]
335
00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:45,765
[both grunting]
336
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:51,064
Stop it. Stop.
You both have super weird ears. [groans]
337
00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,815
Oh, this log is hard. I miss my tuffet.
338
00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:58,282
-You miss your tuffet, do you?
-Oh, ever so much.
339
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:02,783
And your pet swans?
And your little sled for your toy bear?
340
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,118
Do you miss those?
341
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,213
-Uh-huh.
-Aw.
342
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,668
Get down there and dig a pit
for us to sleep in.
343
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,079
'Kay. [yelps]
344
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:13,247
Keep quiet,
if y'all know what's good for y'all.
345
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:17,667
You boys waltzed into the wrong swamp.
You our property now.
346
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:23,348
Property? Men don't own me. I own men.
I'm King Zog!
347
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:24,767
Zog?
348
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,848
-Ain't you the king from Dreamland?
-Indeed, I am.
349
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,055
[laughing]
350
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:34,065
We gonna have some
king-sized fun with you, boy.
351
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:35,823
[Derek yelps]
352
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,901
[grunting]
353
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:39,737
I've had it.
354
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:44,241
The next one of you who lays a hand
on the other one gets left behind, okay?
355
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:45,406
Ow!
356
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,914
Congratulations, guys.
357
00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:50,785
You're the first people in history to make
me say, "I'd rather be with my dad."
358
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:53,878
Dad?
359
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,643
What do you want? Gold? Jewels?
360
00:21:02,719 --> 00:21:04,389
Here, here, take my crown.
361
00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:09,891
Yeah, I reckon we don't want none of that.
We just wanna even the score.
362
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,847
The score? What did I do?
363
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:16,357
I know it's you what built that canal.
It drove me and all my kin off our land.
364
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:19,821
Come on. It wasn't my fault.
I was just giving orders.
365
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:24,203
Orders? Coincidentally,
we about to cook up an order...
366
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:30,294
of king à la king and grilled shrimpy.
No, I'm kidding.
367
00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,582
We just gonna fry y'all up in some butter. [Derek and Zog whimper]
368
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:38,340
-Don't worry. We ain't gonna eat you.
-I knew that.
369
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:42,052
We're cooking y'all up
for the swamp monster.
370
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,224
[laughing]
371
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:49,393
♪ Oh, monster gonna have Zog gumbo
Monster gonna have Zog gumbo ♪
372
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:51,694
♪ Monster gonna have Zog gumbo ♪
373
00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:53,768
[scatting]
374
00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:03,574
-Dad, look at the size of that skillet.
-[door crashes open]
375
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,405
Nobody fries my dad.
376
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:11,080
Yeah? Which one of y'all gonna stop us?
Skinny girl? Kitty cat? Gross baby?
377
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:14,213
[chuckles] He called you a gross baby.
378
00:22:14,291 --> 00:22:18,091
Elfo, Luci, let's show these yokels
how we city folk do things.
379
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:19,800
Ow! When we got the set,
380
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:25,636
I never thought these little ones
would come in handy.
381
00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:34,265
Since y'all was screamin' like babies
in the frying pan, we gone to plan B:
382
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:36,733
Feed you to the monster raw.
383
00:22:36,813 --> 00:22:38,573
[all scream]
384
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:41,438
Okay, plan C: Stuff 'em with breadcrumbs.
385
00:22:41,526 --> 00:22:42,606
No! No!
386
00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,404
[muffled grunting]
387
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:50,078
Don't be rude, Dad. Let's respect
the customs of our colorful hosts.
388
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:56,500
May I propose a toast? I got some
low-grade pocket hooch in my booty flask.
389
00:22:56,583 --> 00:23:00,633
Please accept it as a gift
from my kingdom to your... this.
390
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:02,592
Well, thank you, Miss, uh...
391
00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:05,552
This is the Honorable Ambassador
Tiabeanie...
392
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:08,974
Shh. I'm Bean, okay? Help yourself.
393
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,684
Oh. That's right kindly of you.
394
00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:13,305
I guess maybe there's a world
395
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:16,692
where I could let y'all go,
and we could be friends.
396
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:20,074
Yeah. Hey, both you hicks, drink up.
397
00:23:20,148 --> 00:23:21,568
What'd he just call us?
398
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,860
I believe he called us hicks, Slim.
399
00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:26,945
Oh, he should not have done that.
400
00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:30,620
I should've knowed it.
All you royals are the same.
401
00:23:30,700 --> 00:23:33,790
You think we're all just a bunch
of unsophisticated, backwoods,
402
00:23:33,870 --> 00:23:36,120
know-nothin' yokels
who don't know nothin'!
403
00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:39,956
-Well, I'll tell you what we do know.
-What do we know?
404
00:23:40,043 --> 00:23:43,053
We know we about to feed them
to the swamp monster.
405
00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:46,430
'Cause you know that swamp monster
don't take no for an answer.
406
00:23:46,508 --> 00:23:49,468
He comes at you when you least ex--
407
00:23:52,722 --> 00:23:53,602
[all scream]
408
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:55,482
-[Bean] Oh, no!
-[Luci] Yikes.
409
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:57,143
[swallows]
410
00:23:58,186 --> 00:23:59,306
[hissing]
411
00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:02,401
[growling]
412
00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:06,315
[monster whimpers]
413
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,070
[shrieks]
414
00:24:15,871 --> 00:24:20,711
You know, I realized that you do
encourage Bean to do lots of things:
415
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:24,092
drink, sneak out, fib.
416
00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:27,051
Yeah, you get it, man.
Steal, cheat, toy with your feelings.
417
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,432
Yes, exactly.
418
00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:32,759
-Put 'er there, pal.
-Wow. Gotta admit, I'm impressed.
419
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:34,263
[Luci grunts]
420
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,354
Really, really impressed. Ow!
421
00:24:37,476 --> 00:24:39,266
Okay. Hey, stop.
422
00:24:39,352 --> 00:24:41,312
Elfo. Elfo, knock it off.
Gimme my tail back.
423
00:24:41,396 --> 00:24:43,816
Give it back. Give it back to me. [grunts]
424
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:46,529
That was some great diplomacy back there.
425
00:24:46,610 --> 00:24:50,030
You talked to those hillbillies like
you were from the next swamp over.
426
00:24:50,113 --> 00:24:53,333
Hey, no language barrier, nothin'.
[chuckles]
427
00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:56,368
Like I always say, I'm proud of you, Bean.
428
00:24:57,287 --> 00:24:59,497
You've never said, "I'm proud of you."
429
00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:03,001
Well, today I got dangerously close.
430
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,338
[fiddle playing]
431
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,136
Hey, Dad, is it cool if I go?
432
00:25:13,220 --> 00:25:16,970
Oh, sometimes, I could swear
I'm looking at your mother.
433
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:21,267
-Go on, but sneak home by sunup, or--
-You'll cut off all my toes.
434
00:25:21,353 --> 00:25:23,313
I'll leave you one for good luck.
435
00:25:24,105 --> 00:25:25,185
Thanks.
436
00:25:30,487 --> 00:25:32,607
Well, that looks like you, Father.
437
00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:36,157
Yeah, I know. Let's go home. Quickly.
438
00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:38,908
You know what we'll do when we get home?
439
00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:41,285
-We're gonna bury the bear.
-[Derek] Okay.
440
00:25:41,373 --> 00:25:45,043
[Zog] In fact, we can get
a whole toy graveyard goin'.
441
00:25:45,126 --> 00:25:48,876
We can do it together.
Or, better yet, have the servants do it.
442
00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:53,344
[Derek] Yeah, we've had a rough day.
Maybe we could just go to bed?
443
00:25:53,426 --> 00:25:57,426
Oh, I'm gonna have bad dreams
about that skillet.
444
00:25:57,514 --> 00:26:01,694
Oh. Man, that thing was huge.
[sighs in relief]