1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,926
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,430
[man] Hey!
3
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,608
[snoring]
4
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,407
[snoring]
5
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,554
You're pacing again.
6
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,588
I got a lot on my mind.
7
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:52,592
What is wrong with you?
8
00:00:52,677 --> 00:00:56,717
For days, you don't eat, you don't sleep,
you don't throw bricks at seagulls.
9
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:58,556
Where is the monster I married?
10
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,231
Oh... Where are they?
11
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:04,860
Bean! If you're out there, say something!
12
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:06,649
[man] Put on some pants!
13
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[sighs heavily]
14
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[clapping]
15
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[herald] Hear ye, hear ye!
16
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The princess and her crew of misfits
17
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,579
have been spotted returning
from their quest by Lady Kravitz,
18
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who happened to be peering out her window
at just the right moment.
19
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Yes!
20
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:25,004
[man] Nice moves, grandpa!
21
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:35,510
[gasps] It is so weird to wake up
on the back of a flying griffin
22
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,175
and remember everything
from the night before.
23
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You mortal nerds sleep good?
We're almost home.
24
00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,346
Woo-hoo! Back in Dreamland!
25
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,896
This Eternity Pendant or vial
or whatever you call it
26
00:01:45,980 --> 00:01:49,070
is gonna be my get-out-of-jail-free card
for, like, ever.
27
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,690
I can do whatever I want!
28
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,487
I'm totally gonna get those bangs.
29
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:56,280
And I'll finally get the respect
a man of my hat deserves!
30
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Ah, here we are.
31
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[herald] Now announcing
the triumphant return of our heroes
32
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from their quest
that we all privately thought would fail.
33
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,722
Your Highness,
I have good news and bad news.
34
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,972
The good news is we have retrieved
the Eternity Pendant.
35
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,345
The bad news is that we lost many good men
36
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,642
-and it was awful--
-Yeah, yeah.
37
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:25,475
Great story, great story.
Where's my pendant?
38
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:33,186
Ah, my dreams are this close
to coming true.
39
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:35,238
Now, where's my special little man?
40
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:36,661
I'm right here, Father!
41
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:38,869
Not you! I'm lookin' for Elfo.
42
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,372
[Elfo] Hmm?
43
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:46,582
"To lift the curse of Death itself,
one drop of blood from a true-born elf. Into the vial it shall drip,
to free one soul from Death's icy grip."
44
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,601
Whoa. Am I turning into a god?
45
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:08,524
I can feel the power rising up
through my body, bursting out.
46
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,444
[burps]
47
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:12,783
Aw, I'm not a god.
48
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,149
I'm not even a healthy man.
49
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,196
Oh, but it must've worked!
50
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,910
Now, to test it,
we need a volunteer to kill you.
51
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:21,832
Dibs.
52
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,580
Wait. Hang on, hang on.
53
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:27,251
Let's try it on somebody
a little more, uh, not me.
54
00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:30,632
I think I know someone
who'd welcome the attention.
55
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,881
It is I, Prince Guysbert!
56
00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,973
They tried to compost me,
but the thought that, once again,
57
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I might gaze upon your face kept me alive.
58
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,220
That and the rotted food scraps.
59
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,887
You heard the shish kebab.
Let's give it a shot!
60
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:50,726
[Elfo] Doink.
61
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,210
My headache is gone!
62
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:19,551
We lost him, but cured his headache.
63
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:24,644
Ah, I shoulda never let you glue
those stars on your dunce cap.
64
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:31,651
[trumpeting]
65
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:42,742
Sire, we rode halfway across the world,
lost three noble knights,
66
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:46,454
failed to find the vial
and we lost the princess...
67
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,576
There she is, holding the vial. [chuckles]
68
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,584
In sum, it was a successful trip.
69
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:53,496
Yeah, real successful.
70
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:56,504
How can you keep messing up
a recipe with two ingredients?
71
00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,547
-Come here, you...
-Ow, ow, ow...
72
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:00,842
Your Majesty.
73
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,568
[sighs]
74
00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:21,109
Son of a witch. I followed every possible
interpretation of the directions.
75
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,775
Then what keeps going wrong?
76
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,414
Maybe the vial is a fake.
77
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:28,290
It's gotta be real.
I mean, it was glowing and dinging, okay?
78
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:31,289
No substance known to man
both glows and dings.
79
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:35,292
It could be a convincing knock-off
made of cheaper magic materials
80
00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:38,166
like Middle Earth Zirconia or pleather.
81
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,554
We need an expert.
82
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,970
Hmm. I think I know a guy.
83
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,840
Fetch Old Man Touchy from the dungeon!
84
00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:47,144
Who?
85
00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:48,971
[Zog] Old Man Touchy.
86
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,137
There's nothing he's touched
that he can't identify,
87
00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:54,306
and there's nothing he hasn't touched,
88
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,055
which is why he's in the dungeon.
89
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:01,398
Careful where you grab me.
I grab back! [chuckles]
90
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,199
Long time no feel, Your Highness.
91
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:12,706
[kisses]
92
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,379
It is an honor to fulfill
your need for touch.
93
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:18,668
Good to see a twinkle in the holes
where your eyes used to be.
94
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,423
And what a lovely tunic.
95
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,842
Three hundred-count
Plimgrovian cotton, I believe.
96
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,335
[chuckles and exclaims]
97
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:27,597
Touchy like.
98
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:29,388
[stammers] Enough chitchat.
99
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,062
Now, here's the deal, Touchy.
100
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:34,600
This spell is only supposed to need
two ingredients:
101
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,805
this vial and this elf's blood.
102
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,436
But it's not working.
103
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,823
I need you to tell me if this vial is--
104
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,860
[giggling] That's my tummy!
105
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,318
Guards! Guards!
106
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,374
No, you sicko! Examine the vial, huh?
107
00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,622
Oh. If you insist.
108
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:55,921
The vial is real.
109
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,998
It's this specimen over here
that requires further examination.
110
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,085
What?
111
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,917
Ah, fascinating.
112
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,884
I've never felt anything like this before!
113
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:09,636
This isn't an elf,
but it's not not-an-elf.
114
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,350
-He is, however, soft and velvety.
-Thank you.
115
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,273
Wait, what?
116
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:15,980
What do you mean it's not an elf?
117
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:19,560
Your elf's blood won't work
because this is not an elf.
118
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:22,817
You're wrong.
I demand a second opinion!
119
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,150
Touch me somewhere else!
120
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:27,735
So, this little twit,
who I welcomed into my home,
121
00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:31,452
clothed and fed
and built the finest luxury cage for,
122
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,664
lied to me about being an elf?
123
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,004
I didn't lie!
124
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,619
Dad, don't be ridiculous.
125
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,746
His name is Elfo, for Pete's sake.
126
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:41,253
Tacking an "O" on the end of "Elf"? Bah!
127
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,295
It's suspiciously on the nose.
128
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,469
This is crazy. I'm an elf.
129
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,378
My whole family are elves!
130
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:51,427
If you look up "elf" in the dictionary,
the picture is my cousin Examplo!
131
00:07:51,512 --> 00:07:55,352
Ah, you.
You ruined everything I worked for.
132
00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:59,853
Lying to me in any other way
than flattery is a mortal crime.
133
00:07:59,937 --> 00:08:01,517
-Grab him!
-[grunts]
134
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,612
Elfo is hereby banished from Dreamland.
135
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,404
Get him outta here!
136
00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:10,408
[gasps]
137
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:11,868
No!
138
00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:19,964
Goodbye, little man.
139
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:22,921
If you get into trouble,
show them this note.
140
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,625
[Elfo] "Kill me." Aw!
141
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,633
Pendergast gave to me.
142
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:29,175
Now, I give to you.
143
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,467
[Bean] Elfo! [grunting]
144
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:35,057
Bean, I'll miss you!
145
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:38,479
Elfo, this is not over!
Stay-- [muffled grunting]
146
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,230
Stay what?
147
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,611
Stay cool, never change.
148
00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:44,816
Have a great summer.
149
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,291
[Zog grunting]
150
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,006
[chicken squawks]
151
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,432
How could you do this?
152
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,929
Elfo risked his life
getting you that stupid vial!
153
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:17,562
Not now, Bean.
Daddy's very angry.
154
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:19,425
You know, I just realized something.
155
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,477
You're the reason
I have a drinking problem.
156
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,651
Of course I am. I'm your father.
157
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,859
You know what else you are?
You're selfish.
158
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:27,070
You're a terrible king.
159
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:29,569
And even if you do find a way
to live for eternity,
160
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,662
no one in their right mind
would want to spend it with you.
161
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:34,993
Take her away.
162
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,664
Lock her up till she stops
pointing things out.
163
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,163
Her chamber, sire?
164
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,955
Nah, she's too good
at escaping from there.
165
00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:43,709
Some place more secure.
166
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:46,001
And her smart-mouthed cat, too.
167
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,335
Nice typical reaction, Mr. Predictable.
168
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:52,632
[sighs]
169
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:54,591
There, there.
170
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:57,642
[Bean] Hey!
171
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,062
Let me out!
172
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,680
If Elfo goes, I go!
173
00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,806
No cannot do, Princess.
174
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,023
[Odval] But I can.
175
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,437
Go. Find your friend. Wow. That's pretty decent.
176
00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,818
I was not expecting that.
177
00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,696
I wish you the best of luck
embarrassing some other kingdom.
178
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,615
-But were you expecting that?
-Yeah, kinda.
179
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:29,586
-You let Princess run away?
-For now.
180
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,928
Elfo! Elfo!
181
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,683
-[Luci] I found him!
-You did?
182
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:44,015
Wait a minute. It's just three quarters
of a dead raccoon.
183
00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,079
-[rustling]
-[gasps]
184
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,245
Who's there? Stay back!
185
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,503
I'm warning you.
186
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:16,838
[grunts]
187
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:20,101
Tell! Me! Who! You! Are!
188
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,889
Hi! I'm! Elfo!
189
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,522
Luci? [gasps]
190
00:11:24,016 --> 00:11:25,726
-You guys came for me?
-[grunting]
191
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,480
You're the best friends
I could ever imagine.
192
00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,692
You do realize you're still hitting me?
193
00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:33,533
Yes, but I'm scared of what you'll do
when I stop.
194
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,123
Hey, hey, hey, slow down, champ.
195
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,873
Oh, God, I'm turning into my bartender.
196
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,536
It all makes sense now.
197
00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,384
Growing up, I never fit in
among the elves.
198
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:52,880
Listen, I feel you.
199
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:56,262
After my mom died, I felt like
I didn't fit in anywhere, really.
200
00:11:56,340 --> 00:11:58,090
I never even met my mom.
201
00:11:58,175 --> 00:12:00,425
Maybe that's why I've had
such low elf-esteem.
202
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,181
Dude, you can't have elf-esteem.
You're not an elf.
203
00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,894
You're never gonna be whole
until you figure out who you really are.
204
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,346
And there's only one way
to find the answer.
205
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:14,074
No. No, I can't go crawling back home!
206
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,650
It'll wreck my image as a total badass.
207
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,316
What'd you do,
forget to return a library book?
208
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,195
Yes!
[gasps] I can never go back!
209
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:25,203
But you'll never know the truth
unless you return to Elfwood.
210
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,746
The only problem is,
the location is a secret,
211
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:30,120
and elves are never supposed
to bring outsiders.
212
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:32,537
-You're not an elf.
-Oh, yeah!
213
00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:34,126
[giggles] Okay, let's go.
214
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:43,010
[sniffs] Wait, I smell cocoa...
215
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,845
[sniffs] caramel...
216
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,850
[sniffs] and conformity!
217
00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,192
Elfwood! We're here!
218
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,730
Okay, they're suspicious of outsiders,
so let's be smart about this.
219
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:56,105
I'm Clarence,
220
00:12:56,192 --> 00:13:01,162
you're a scrappy, small-town reporter
doing a story on Elfwood, and you're--
221
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,488
-[elf] We can hear you, Elfo.
-Oh.
222
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:07,164
[chuckling] Oh. Um... Hi.
223
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:10,581
Uh, can we come in? Please?
224
00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:13,254
[elf] He's with an outsider
and a deformed cat.
225
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:15,094
I don't know if that's a good idea.
226
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:15,999
[Elfo] Why not?
227
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,166
[elf] They might not fit in.
228
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,005
Wow, I didn't know elves were racist.
229
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,680
[elf] We are not racist!
230
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,929
How can the world's greatest race
be racist?
231
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,641
And would a racist do this?
232
00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:35,312
[upbeat music plays]
233
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:43,280
Whoa! I owe you an apology, Elfo.
234
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,954
Relatively speaking, you're a badass.
235
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:50,204
It's times like this
I wish I had 3,000 fists.
236
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,291
Welcome to Elfwood!
237
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,633
Home of open-minded elves
of all shapes and one size.
238
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:56,839
Right, Watcho?
239
00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,339
Hmm. I'll be watching and judging
and generalizing.
240
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,426
[creaking]
241
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,719
[grunts]
242
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,262
I am so sorry. It was an accident.
243
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:09,006
[groans] My eye!
244
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,728
-Oh, I am so sorry. Let me--
-Oh!
245
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,194
Just go inside
before you help me to death.
246
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,480
[cheerful music playing over gramophone]
247
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:25,568
[all gasp]
248
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:28,775
[gasps] [music stops]
249
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,626
Wha?
250
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:43,011
There, once again, Elfo,
you've made a mockery of the Jolly Code!
251
00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,970
Who is that puny, little runt?
252
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:48,050
-Oh, that's Luci. He's a demon.
-[elves gasp]
253
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,757
And who is that?
254
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:53,097
-Oh, that's Bean. She's a human.
-[elves exclaiming]
255
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:57,523
[sighs] Humans bring nothing
but treachery and pain.
256
00:14:57,605 --> 00:15:00,315
-No, I also brought booze.
-[elves exclaim]
257
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,323
Elfo, I didn't know you were coming back.
258
00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,986
I didn't know I had
unfinished business here.
259
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:13,655
-There's someone I'd like you to meet.
-Whoa!
260
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,746
What? But how could he be...
261
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,169
I've only been gone a few months!
262
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,001
That's all it takes.
263
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,381
All this time I didn't know I had a son! Oh, no, this is Shrimpo, my new boyfriend.
264
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,759
I was just trying to tell you
that I moved on.
265
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,144
No hard feelings, bud.
266
00:15:30,846 --> 00:15:32,426
Oh. Of course not,
267
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,894
but if you ever wanna throw
a ball around sometime...
268
00:15:34,975 --> 00:15:35,885
He doesn't,
269
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:39,266
[whispering] but he doesn't mind
if you still wanna mess around.
270
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:42,648
[Pops] Elfo, my boy!
271
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:46,703
Well, whip my heinie
with a long red viney, you're back!
272
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:50,779
Oh, Pops, you're just the guy
I came to see.
273
00:15:50,866 --> 00:15:52,196
[chuckling]
274
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:54,414
And who's that statuesque sugar stack?
275
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,955
Oh, you're a chip off the old block,
I see.
276
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:59,119
The taste for big dames
runs in our family!
277
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:02,588
Yeah, Pops, listen, if you could just
kinda geezer down for a moment...
278
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,590
Sorry, we need to have a talk.
279
00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:06,222
Let me just check on my friends.
280
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:07,628
[elves cheering]
281
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:08,876
Okay, they're fine.
282
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,968
[coughing]
283
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,934
What kinda candy cigarette is this?
284
00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:15,681
Twinkletown Giggle Bud.
285
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,944
Pops, I need to know the truth.
286
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,729
Am I not a real elf?
287
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:25,193
Oh, my boy. I've been meaning to...
But the thing is, I...
288
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:26,525
So, you see...
289
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,570
Well, I'm glad we had this talk.
290
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,114
How 'bout you talk now?
291
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,737
But you haven't said anything yet.
292
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:36,575
I'm down to my second-to-last
emergency flask, so let's have a toast.
293
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:39,252
You've opened up your gates
and your hearts.
294
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,291
Here's to peace between our peoples,
295
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:45,795
and may all ill will between elves
and humans be behind us.
296
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,760
-Look out! Behind us!
-[elves gasp]
297
00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:56,723
[laughs] Thank you, Princess Tiabeanie.
298
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:57,807
You followed us?
299
00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,981
It wasn't hard with a trail
of heavy bootprints
300
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:03,150
and the tell-tale odor
of Dreamland ditch weed.
301
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:05,520
The king of Dreamland requires elf blood.
302
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:09,317
If three of the juiciest of you would hop
into my sack, we'll be on our way.
303
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,073
I look like an elf.
304
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,565
Come on, Dad. What am I?
305
00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:16,367
Well, I was waiting to tell you
until after I was dead,
306
00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:17,792
so I wouldn't have to tell you.
307
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:22,370
It's hard to say, so, I'll let this
needlepoint do the talking for me.
308
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,078
Your mom made it.
309
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:27,208
Truth is, you're only half-elf.
You're also half--
310
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,256
[elves screaming]
311
00:17:34,845 --> 00:17:37,425
How dare you threaten these innocent folk?
312
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:39,064
I mean, look at this guy.
313
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,731
Show him what's under your hat, buddy.
314
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,190
It's not just a kitten,
it's a sleeping kitten.
315
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,571
These guys are totally defenseless.
316
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:48,318
[Elfo] Not totally.
317
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,704
[Pendergast grunts]
318
00:17:54,281 --> 00:17:56,281
Get those little bastards.
319
00:17:56,366 --> 00:17:59,156
And help me up, I'm beetle-ing.
320
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,749
[elves screaming]
321
00:18:09,129 --> 00:18:10,919
Sound the battle bell!
322
00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,177
[delicate bell chiming]
323
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:39,161
[whimpering]
324
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:42,411
-[grunts]
-[Edgar] Huh? Ow!
325
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:46,501
[giggles]
326
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:47,843
[Pendergast grunting]
327
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,839
Ow.
328
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,797
What happened to my bravest man?
329
00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:02,427
Edgar the Fearless is now
Edgar the Headless.
330
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,306
[Pendergast] Retreat! Retreat!
331
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,940
[elves exclaiming]
332
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:15,566
You think you can defeat the entire
elf kingdom with six knights? Ha!
333
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,326
Five, six, seven... Oh, nuts.
334
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:23,789
We need to disappear!
Close the gates!
335
00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:27,618
It won't close. The big girl broke it!
336
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,748
We can't vanish with the door open!
337
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,795
It would defy the laws of physics.
338
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,799
We can try and close it from the outside.
339
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:38,300
By order of your father,
you will stand aside, Tiabeanie!
340
00:19:38,385 --> 00:19:40,255
Hey, nobody calls me Tiabeanie
341
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:42,965
except my best friends
and my worst enemies.
342
00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,766
[grunting]
343
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,460
[Elfo and Bean cheering]
344
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:13,714
You did it!
345
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:15,505
No, we did it.
346
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:18,629
Ah, screw team spirit.
Those elves stole my stash.
347
00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:20,137
We are a team.
348
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,389
I always thought so.
349
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,260
Really? [groans]
350
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:24,637
No! Elfo!
351
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,143
Elfo, speak to me. Elfo!
352
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,307
Who did that?
353
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:34,021
Now, just keep holding on, okay?
Just keep holding on.
354
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,567
[grunts] It's okay.
355
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,397
It's okay, Bean.
356
00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:43,032
I always wanted to go out
while I'm still young and hot.
357
00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:46,696
Your dad's got the immortality thing
all wrong.
358
00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:49,747
That monster is not my dad anymore.
359
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:51,251
You're all I've got!
360
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,293
Please, stay with me.
361
00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:56,089
Elfo, stay with me.
362
00:21:12,562 --> 00:21:18,072
Oh, man, if this is sadness,
I don't like it one bit.
363
00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:20,992
Princess, it's time to go.
364
00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:29,833
We must relay a message to the king
that the mission has failed.
365
00:21:29,913 --> 00:21:31,963
We didn't get a single elf.
366
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,880
A real elf, that is.
367
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,130
Send a turkey.
368
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:43,594
[turkey gobbling]
369
00:22:10,245 --> 00:22:13,575
Aw, Beanie. If there's anything I can do--
370
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:14,915
Don't touch me.
371
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000
Nothing you can do can fix this.
372
00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:19,665
Elfo is dead because of you.
373
00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:22,922
Maybe I did go a tad overboard.
374
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:25,928
Your fanatical obsession
with the Elixir of Life,
375
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:27,391
was it worth all of this?
376
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:30,811
I don't even think it's real.
It's just some myth in a book.
377
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,310
It's unfortunate you lost
your friend, Beanie.
378
00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:38,766
I didn't just lose my best friend.
379
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,277
I lost my father.
380
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,149
You lied to me and betrayed me. Get out!
381
00:22:44,863 --> 00:22:46,913
You're right. I did lie to you.
382
00:22:47,532 --> 00:22:50,792
The Elixir of Life, it wasn't for me.
383
00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:52,579
It was for your mother.
384
00:22:52,662 --> 00:22:54,752
I was trying to bring her back.
385
00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:57,961
My whole world was wrapped up
in this vial.
386
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,503
Mom's been dead for 15 years!
387
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:03,507
There's nothing left of her.
Stop trying to manipulate me.
388
00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:05,930
This is your mother.
389
00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:13,385
That fateful night,
the taster, he was late.
390
00:23:17,020 --> 00:23:18,940
You were such a little monkey.
391
00:23:19,022 --> 00:23:23,322
You were switching our cups
back and forth, and I didn't know.
392
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:27,992
The cursed poison that was meant for me,
she drank it instead.
393
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,783
[gasping]
394
00:23:35,288 --> 00:23:36,288
Bean?
395
00:23:42,045 --> 00:23:46,295
I didn't want to tell you
because I'm terrified of female emotions,
396
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:48,763
and I didn't want you to feel guilty.
397
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,354
So, I've been grasping at straws,
398
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:54,640
trying to find a way
to bring your mother back ever since.
399
00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:57,314
But now, it's all a pipe dream.
400
00:23:58,478 --> 00:24:00,728
I'm sorry, Bean, for everything.
401
00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:04,320
I'll let you be alone.
402
00:24:04,401 --> 00:24:07,701
And whenever you're ready,
we'll get you a new pet.
403
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,196
God damn.
404
00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:18,076
Well, hey, good thing is,
I swiped the only thing he cares about.
405
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,705
That's gotta make you feel
a little better, right?
406
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:21,672
Bean?
407
00:24:22,335 --> 00:24:26,205
So, I'm responsible
for my own mother's death, too?
408
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,588
Am I a bad person?
409
00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:30,965
I'm so sorry, Mom.
410
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:33,096
I wish you were here.
411
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,930
[Luci stammers]
412
00:24:38,018 --> 00:24:41,768
Sorry, it's just... You have snot,
like, all over your face.
413
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,685
Thanks, yeah.
414
00:24:43,773 --> 00:24:44,693
[gasps]
415
00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:48,200
This is elf's blood.
416
00:24:48,695 --> 00:24:50,155
Real elf's blood.
417
00:24:50,238 --> 00:24:52,368
You don't think
it'd actually work, do you?
418
00:24:52,949 --> 00:24:57,659
No, probably not.
But I guess it doesn't hurt to try.
419
00:25:16,264 --> 00:25:19,644
There's only one drop of blood.
I don't know who to choose.
420
00:25:19,726 --> 00:25:22,976
I don't want to get your hopes up.
It'll probably fizzle out like before.
421
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,573
So, just close your eyes
and don't think too much.
422
00:25:36,409 --> 00:25:38,249
Whatever happens, happens.
423
00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:05,561
Mom?
424
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,316
What?
425
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:11,651
Bean? Bean?
426
00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:13,316
Is that you, Bean?
427
00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:19,328
[Dagmar sighing]