1 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,590 Hey! 2 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:31,069 The king has been stricken. The princess drew her magic wand on him. 3 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,780 -Still hot with magic. - Is everything all right? 4 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:37,948 No, you idiot. Everything is not all right. 5 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:41,208 Now, go make a public proclamation that everything is all right. 6 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:45,550 Sorcerio, get the king the finest medical care in the kingdom. 7 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:46,668 I'm on it. 8 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,715 Now, when you say "I'm on it," 9 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:52,048 does that mean you will go out and find the best medical care in the kingdom, 10 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,045 or that you think you, yourself, 11 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,347 can provide the best medical care in the kingdom? 12 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,221 -I'm on it? 13 00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:02,098 Mertz, Turbish, take His Majesty to his bedchamber with the utmost care. 14 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:05,070 Careful! 15 00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,608 I can take care of my dad. You take care of the kingdom, okay? 16 00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:10,824 Very well. 17 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,454 Pendergast, place the princess under house arrest. 18 00:01:13,531 --> 00:01:14,451 What? 19 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,332 Sorry, Dad. Wait, what do you mean, "house arrest"? 20 00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:22,581 I'm simply taking care of the kingdom by detaining you, the assassin. 21 00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:24,705 Wait a minute. You saw what happened. 22 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:27,553 It was an accident. I wasn't trying to kill anybody. 23 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,919 Tiabeanie, I am merely trying to avoid a constitutional crisis. 24 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:32,797 We don't even have a constitution. 25 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,684 That's what makes it a crisis. Take her away! 26 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,719 I love saying that. 27 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,494 Ugh. What a nightmare. 28 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,566 They can't keep me in here forever. 29 00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:01,575 Sorry, I'm under strict orders to keep you here forever. Also, Turbish. 30 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:05,173 -So, where is Turbish? -He's watching your escape window. 31 00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:07,000 Hi, Bean. 32 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,840 Now's no time for a nap, psycho killer. 33 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:15,054 -What are you two doing here? -We came to help you. 34 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,885 We walked in while you were talking to the guard. 35 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,850 It's one of the benefits of being short. 36 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,890 Elfo sneaks in and out of your room all the time. 37 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,104 It's for research. 38 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:29,773 We all know rats are magnets for filth-borne disease. 39 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:32,988 So, what better way to pull the disease from his body 40 00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:36,359 than by covering him in freshly shampooed rats? 41 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,365 He's moving. The recovery is underway! 42 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,250 Sure, crawl in. What could it hurt? 43 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:49,539 Oh, my God! What are they doing to him? 44 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:52,337 These fools don't know anything about stience or medicine. 45 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,722 I gotta help my dad before they cure him to death. 46 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,801 I think you're in serious trouble with the murder and all. 47 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,138 Attempted murder. 48 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:04,182 And it wasn't even murder, and I didn't attempt anything. 49 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,437 And they know it. 50 00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,771 Why are they doing this to me? 51 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:19,034 Miss Moonpence, is the Archdruidess here? 52 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,235 - Yes, Minister. -Good. Send her in. 53 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,416 Blessings on your hat 54 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,252 and the head that fills it, Prime Minister. 55 00:03:33,338 --> 00:03:35,378 And also with you, Archdruidess. 56 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,375 I hear the king grows weaker. 57 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,677 Where did you hear that? 58 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:46,515 King Zog is alive, but in a very bad way. Princess Tiabeanie wounded him severely. 59 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:50,771 Dear God, or Gods, what is to become of our kingdom? 60 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,989 Miss Moonpence, you may go to the park to eat your carrot now. 61 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,279 Yes, Minister. 62 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,105 So? 63 00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:04,332 -I said now, Miss Moonpence. - Yes, Minister. 64 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,751 Dreamland law says that if the king cannot serve, 65 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:12,751 the crown goes to his oldest male heir. That would be Derek. 66 00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:15,125 But if the child is not an adult, 67 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:18,763 then his mother shall serve as regent until the boy reaches adulthood. 68 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:22,351 Yes, but what if the mother is not available to serve? 69 00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:25,058 Then, the regent would be the child's caretaker 70 00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:27,019 as named in the divorce decree. 71 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,770 And whose name was inserted as caretaker 72 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:33,232 into the divorce decree over which you officiated? 73 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,939 Son of a bitch, it's you! 74 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:40,776 That means, if Derek becomes king, you become regent, 75 00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:42,993 and the young king becomes your puppet! 76 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,454 Our puppet. 77 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:48,084 -Did someone mention puppets? -Get out of here, Derek! 78 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,002 Oh. 79 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:53,879 Princess Tiabeanie may be an obstacle. She's quite popular. 80 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:58,590 And willful. A very modern woman, positively 13th-century. 81 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,093 But we can change popular opinion. 82 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:06,386 In times of trouble, we may be tempted to assign blame to just one person. 83 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:08,142 So, let's do that, shall we? 84 00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:11,024 I am talking, of course, about Princess Tiabeanie. 85 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:16,072 Now, get out there and spread the word. Go on, get the hell out of here. 86 00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,938 Scapegoating. Finally, this religion is going somewhere. 87 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,491 My boy works in the castle, 88 00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,032 and he says she shot him with a magic wand. 89 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,906 Well, in my professional opinion as a fishmonger, 90 00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,374 the princess is a witch. 91 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:32,924 And she's always hanging out with that black cat with the big nose 92 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,249 and that annoying toad in the elf hat. 93 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,495 And how come people always seem to die around her? 94 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,208 Just the arsenic today, thanks. 95 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,178 I heard, if you look her in the eyes, 96 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:45,218 she makes you fall in love with her, then turns you into a toad! 97 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,223 And that's just what she did to Elfo. 98 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,965 That's why he's all green and weird-looking. 99 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,677 Quiet, or Toad Elfo will hear us. 100 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,688 I've been green and weird-looking all my life. 101 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,271 You know that. I've gotta tell Bean. 102 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,074 Bean, you're not gonna believe this. 103 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:04,951 Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known that Prince Derek shall be crowned king 104 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:09,661 and Princess Tiabeanie shall be tried for attempted murder as a witch! 105 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,914 I believe it. 106 00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:14,746 King? But isn't Daddy still alive? 107 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,712 I'm afraid he's in no shape whatsoever to rule. 108 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:21,554 And we need someone of your obvious leadership abilities. 109 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,381 But these are just toy soldiers. 110 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,756 It's best if you think of the real ones as cheap and expendable, too. 111 00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:29,724 And you can just think of Odval and me 112 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,846 as your new mommy and daddy, my sweet little... 113 00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,345 Oh, hell, just do what we tell you! 114 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:46,448 Oh! So sorry, sire. Let me remove this from your weary head. 115 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,201 And... doink. 116 00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:52,287 Boy, bring this to Odval, immediately. 117 00:06:55,957 --> 00:07:01,627 Here comes the king. I am the king! I'm walking down this-- Oh! 118 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:18,354 I crown thee King Derek the First. 119 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,268 And, God willing, the only. 120 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,567 Long live King Derek! 121 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:28,161 Long live King Derek! Long live King Derek! 122 00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:32,869 Long live King Derek! Long live King Derek! 123 00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:37,422 Long live King Derek! Long live King Derek! 124 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:41,998 Long live King Derek! Long live King Derek! 125 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,296 Long live King Derek! 126 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:48,630 Uh... Let a new era of... 127 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:49,968 Greatness. 128 00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,262 ...greatness and, uh... 129 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:54,216 Freedom from influence. 130 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:57,267 ...freedom from influence begin! 131 00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:59,351 Hoorah! 132 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:10,033 Now, Princess, will you confess to being a witch? 133 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:10,954 No. 134 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:14,702 So, you insist on putting us through the ordeal of a long trial? 135 00:08:14,785 --> 00:08:17,115 Actually, I'm partial to long trials. 136 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,785 -Wrong answer! -Spin the wheel, Stan. 137 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:22,344 Ow, ow, ow. 138 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:24,708 Ow, ow, ow. 139 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:27,422 Ow. 140 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,757 You tried to kill your father with this magic wand! 141 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:36,223 I did not! And it's not a magic wand. It's a stience gun, and you know it. 142 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:41,057 Oh, really? How can you possibly know what I know unless you're a witch? 143 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:44,983 Was that a cackle? I definitely heard a cackle. 144 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,686 That wasn't a cackle, because I'm not a... 145 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:50,066 -Spin the wheel. -...witch! 146 00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:57,078 Princess, you know the outcome of a trial is unlikely to go your way. 147 00:08:57,161 --> 00:09:01,121 That is the kind of stinkin' thinkin' that loses trials. 148 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:04,957 We can win this, Bean. Now, if you'll excuse us, 149 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,554 we have to consult with our client as soon as she stops spinning. 150 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:11,051 Very well. See you in court. 151 00:09:13,928 --> 00:09:17,678 Hi, Bean. Hi. What's up? 152 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,848 One more. 153 00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:25,113 Hi. Me and Luci are your lawyers. 154 00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,479 I'm doomed. 155 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:30,276 I'm afraid he's getting worse. 156 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:35,317 Hmm. Mop Girl, remove the king's bandages. 157 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,118 Uh, don't you think I should wash my hands first? 158 00:09:38,202 --> 00:09:41,292 And risk washing away all that life-giving soot? 159 00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:48,916 Patience, sire. I have summoned an expert in the tactile arts to examine you. 160 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:52,545 What do you think, Old Man Touchy? Not me! 161 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:58,761 Oh, yes, very bad. There is very little life essence left. 162 00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:03,058 But I am detecting... some roast beef. 163 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,194 And mashed potatoes with... 164 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,270 gravy. 165 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:13,146 How does it feel to be king, sire? 166 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,567 I'm bored. Let's have a war! 167 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:20,116 Maybe later. Right now, we have to see your aptitude for dispensing justice. 168 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,792 It is the king's duty to preside over trials, 169 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:26,172 and tomorrow, we'll be having a very important one. Now... 170 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,250 Yorg here claims this hog as his own property. 171 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:32,837 Targon maintains that the hog escaped from his farm 172 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:34,683 and rightfully belongs to him. 173 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:35,799 Hmm. 174 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,759 I believe I have reached a verdict. 175 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,524 A surprisingly shrewd decision. 176 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,850 Can I pet the piggy now? 177 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,983 I think he's ready. 178 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,365 I'm sorry we don't have bowls, but, you know, 179 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,279 this will all be over before you know it. 180 00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,748 That's comforting, coming from an executioner. 181 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,168 You'll be fine. I have great faith in our judicial system. 182 00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:09,708 I threw a snowball at the castle when I was seven. 183 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,054 I'm still waiting for my pre-trial hearing. 184 00:11:12,129 --> 00:11:13,919 Oh. Shut your gob, you tit. 185 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,336 You're always going on about this "pre-trial hearing." 186 00:11:16,425 --> 00:11:21,175 Every 20 years, like clockwork. Somebody stab me in the eyeball. 187 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:24,976 -Hey, Bean. How are you holding up? -I've been better. 188 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,269 You guys are my only hope. Are you sure you can handle this? 189 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,404 Well, Elfo's just trying to look down your shirt. 190 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,271 But I am an ace trial attorney. 191 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,028 You? You have actual experience? 192 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,861 No, but I summer clerked for Satan in '08. 193 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:40,237 I even wrote a brief about cruel and unusual punishment. 194 00:11:40,324 --> 00:11:43,334 Right on a guy's scrotum. With a typewriter. 195 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,882 Father? Can you hear me? I need to talk to you. 196 00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,045 Remember how I used to wake you up from your naps 197 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,256 and you would chase me through the castle? 198 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,179 -Wakey wakey! 199 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,015 Rise and shine, Father. 200 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,234 Father, dear, are you dying? 201 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:14,574 -Listen, Derek... -Yeah? 202 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:16,280 -I need to tell you something. -What? 203 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,066 I don't know when I'm gonna die. 204 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:22,655 Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but... 205 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,620 Well, it's feeling like Thursday. 206 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,214 Good, so there's time. I could use the benefit of your wisdom. 207 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,421 -What? -What is justice? 208 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:35,961 Oh, thank God. I thought this was gonna be the sex talk. 209 00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:38,336 How do you make a decision that's fair? 210 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:42,344 You can't. Someone always feels like it's not fair to them. 211 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,178 And the fairest decisions, 212 00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:46,853 those are the ones where everybody feels screwed. 213 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,192 I've never seen that before in my storybooks. 214 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:52,148 Life's full of stuff you've never seen before. 215 00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:55,439 Like that tunnel of white light opening over my bed. 216 00:12:56,192 --> 00:12:58,152 -Can't you see it? -No. 217 00:12:58,235 --> 00:12:59,145 Uh-oh. 218 00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:03,406 Look, you've just got to go with your gut, son. You'll do fine. 219 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,661 Now, will you put that nice, cool rag on my head? 220 00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:07,704 Sure. 221 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:10,162 Thank you, Father. 222 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:35,401 All rise for judge and living embodiment of justice, King Derek! 223 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,408 Uh... Begin trial! 224 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,200 Oh, God. Derek, you're the judge? 225 00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:51,752 Silence, sister! It's Big King Derek to you! 226 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,921 Guess I should've been nicer to him these last 14 years. 227 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,420 Nah, it was worth it. 228 00:13:56,502 --> 00:14:00,802 Sire, today, I shall prove, using only the most rigorous logic, 229 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:04,681 that this is a 900-year-old witch... 230 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:10,467 who used this diabolical, pearl-handled, snub-nosed magic wand 231 00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:14,938 to cast a spell of manslaughter on our beloved king. God rest his soul. 232 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,435 He's not even dead! 233 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,903 Order in the court! Sit down, Bean! 234 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,364 Ow! What did I do? 235 00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:31,369 So, you're saying Bean behaved so disgracefully at a formal state dinner 236 00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:34,083 that she nearly set off a war? 237 00:14:34,164 --> 00:14:39,174 No, what Chazz said was she nearly chazzed off the whole chazz-ma-tazz. 238 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,803 -You know what I mean? -I do not, 239 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,090 but let that be entered into the record. 240 00:14:43,173 --> 00:14:45,933 That's "Chazz" with five "z's." 241 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:50,100 I think I've done enough court reporting to know how to spell "Chazz." 242 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:54,641 Yes, I'd say Bean is positively bewitching in her beauty 243 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,727 and mesmerizing with her charm. 244 00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,322 Witchcraft and mesmerism! 245 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:03,318 Expert testimony from the man she turned into a pig 246 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,032 just so she didn't have to marry him. 247 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:09,026 But it wasn't Bean's fault. It was my own vanity. 248 00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,946 To think I was more handsome as a man 249 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:14,405 than a glorious, squealing, curly-tailed, pink and hairless-- 250 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,616 Oh, quiet. What do you know? You're just a pig. 251 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,705 Tell me, Mr. Sorcerio, 252 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:23,383 you not only witnessed Tiabeanie attack King Zog with this wand, 253 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,934 but you've had previous odd encounters with her. 254 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:30,548 So many. She was once brought to me when she was possessed by a demon. 255 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,889 I was too busy to cure her myself, so she was referred to a colleague, 256 00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,936 the esteemed exorcist, Big Jo. 257 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:44,775 And did Big Jo verify that, in fact, he had exorcised the demon? 258 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,360 Hmm. I didn't get a chance to speak with him, 259 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,946 as the princess had pushed him into a volcano. 260 00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:53,409 Hmm. 261 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,164 And now, I'd like to call Bean's closest friend, 262 00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,956 her inseparable elf companion, Elfo. 263 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:00,421 I'm already here. 264 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,667 Now, tell me, Mr. Fo, 265 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,054 what did you think when you first saw Bean? 266 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:09,931 That she was the most beautiful, pure and good woman I'd ever seen. 267 00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:13,100 Objection! She was the only woman he'd ever seen. 268 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:14,010 Sustained. 269 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,978 I don't want to hear any romantic or sexy talk about my own sister. 270 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:18,980 Bleh! 271 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,601 Sorry. Let me rephrase that. 272 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:24,478 Have you seen Bean act in ways that show her pureness of heart? 273 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:28,486 Oh, my gosh, like, all the time. Bean is the best. 274 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,030 I mean, we've been through so much together. 275 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:34,155 I remember, um, there was one time after I died, 276 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:39,163 and, well, it's kind of a crazy story, but Bean and I ended up together in Hell. 277 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,038 -Bean was in Hell? 278 00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:44,837 Uh, objection, Your Honor. This witness is an idiot. 279 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,420 -Hey! -Overruled. 280 00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:49,125 -Permission to cross-examine immediately. -Granted. 281 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:54,216 Now, you mean to tell us you specifically saw Tiabeanie in Hell? 282 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:58,984 Oh, yeah. We all were there in the flames of eternal damnation. Me, Bean and Luci. 283 00:16:59,059 --> 00:17:01,059 Elfo, no! They won't understand. 284 00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:03,515 Permission to approach the witness and punch him in the face? 285 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,815 Denied. Go on, Mr. Odval. 286 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:09,449 And what, pray tell, were you doing in Hell? 287 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,608 Well, after I got kicked out of Heaven 288 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:14,447 and plunged all the way down to Hell to meet up with Bean, 289 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,703 we were strapped to these big chairs and the popcorn was out of reach, 290 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:20,456 so we needed to trick the devils and escape. 291 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:24,039 So, you wanted to be even more underhanded than the devils themselves? 292 00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,126 Yeah, I guess you could put it that way. 293 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,921 Sire, this is all the proof we need. 294 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,546 If you don't mind, I'll go right into my closing remarks. 295 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:33,931 Ladies and gentlemen, 296 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:37,641 never before has there been such a clear-cut case of witchcraft. 297 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,183 Here we have Tiabeanie, 298 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:43,226 the daughter of Dagmar, a known dark sorceress and murderess. 299 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:47,612 Tiabeanie, who attempted to murder her own father with witchcraft. 300 00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:51,611 Tiabeanie, who visited Hell with these two accomplices, 301 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:55,365 whom I daresay ought to be tried and found guilty right here and now! 302 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,409 Wait, what? 303 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,742 And, as if you need any more evidence, 304 00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:02,997 one of these accomplices is her witch's familiar, a talking cat! 305 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,956 I rest my case and turn the floor over to my colleague, the talking cat. 306 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:13,086 Ladies and gentlemen, I may just be a simple country cat, 307 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:17,545 but all I see here is a girl. A girl who dared to be different. 308 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,558 To stick out and speak up. 309 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:24,140 And if that's being guilty, then go ahead and consider her guilty. 310 00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,018 -Can do. -But if you do, 311 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,355 you're all a bunch of stupid, small-minded, 312 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,901 mouth-breathing, superstitious ding-dongs, 313 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:37,276 who are completely delusional and vote against your own self-interest. 314 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,616 So, pass around a tub of melted ice cream for y'all to guzzle down 315 00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:44,873 and get fatter and stupider. I rest my case. 316 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:50,377 Uh, thank you. I just need to debilitate on this for a bit. 317 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,302 Deliberate. 318 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:54,550 Yeah. Until I render my decision... 319 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:56,757 I got that right. Yes! 320 00:18:56,844 --> 00:19:00,474 The accused and her accomplices are to be kept in the dungeon. 321 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,636 Derek! You little weasel! 322 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,104 Court jaborned! 323 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,494 They're gonna burn us at the stake. 324 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:23,155 Oh, God, I'm gonna smell like burnt candy corn. 325 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:33,505 I've known Bean all my life, and while she's done some wicked things, 326 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,179 like the time she stuffed that monkey inside my teddy bear 327 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,588 and it ran off a cliff and into the ocean... 328 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,047 But she did rescue me from that big skillet. 329 00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,008 Hmm. 330 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,767 I don't think a witch would do that. 331 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,479 And most of those witnesses were more pea-brained than I am. 332 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:51,821 Father said I should go with my gut, and I think I know which way. 333 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,113 Our lives hang by a thread. 334 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,908 I can't believe Elfo can sleep at a time like this. 335 00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:05,162 I'm not sleeping. I keep passing out every time I think about it. 336 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:07,615 Oh, God, we're all gonna die! 337 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:13,587 Mmm, death by public execution. With an elf. Ugh, this is so humiliating. 338 00:20:13,670 --> 00:20:15,760 I thought you were immortal. 339 00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:18,129 Of course I'm immortal. I'm a demon, damn it! 340 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:22,217 You know me. As you burn up, I'll probably be making flippant comments. 341 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:25,184 Oh, God, I've even lost the power to lie convincingly. 342 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:28,185 And that's not even a power, more of a mental defect. 343 00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:35,731 Blessings on your hat and the head that fills it. And also with you. 344 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:40,277 We have a problem. It appears King Derek may be leaning toward acquittal. 345 00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:43,164 He thinks he is following his father's advice. 346 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,622 Then perhaps the only way to achieve the goals of the society 347 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,503 would be to remove Zog from the equation. 348 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:52,331 Ahem. Speaking of removing things... 349 00:20:57,047 --> 00:21:00,127 Hey, what the hell? I thought they were gonna burn us at the stake. 350 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,387 Not if I can help it. 351 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,103 Hmm. 352 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:08,849 You're rescuing us? 353 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,194 Other than me good self, 354 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,809 there's no one in the world Bunty loves more than you. 355 00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:15,316 And I believe her. So, stand back! 356 00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:21,823 The catacombs! I didn't know they were under the dungeon. 357 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:24,905 They're under everything. Over some things, too. 358 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,702 They were poorly planned. 359 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,207 Just head east and you'll end up by the docks. 360 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:38,173 Godspeed, my friends. Don't slip on the rats. 361 00:21:44,594 --> 00:21:47,434 Bean, come on. He said east. 362 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:49,564 I can't leave. Not yet. 363 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:53,234 Dad. Dad. 364 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,364 -Beanie. -Dad, listen. 365 00:21:57,441 --> 00:22:01,151 It's not safe for you here anymore. Don't trust anyone, okay? 366 00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:02,396 Mmm-hmm. 367 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,197 Now, I need to take care of something. 368 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,700 I need to take out that bullet or you could die of infection. 369 00:22:08,785 --> 00:22:11,245 -"Infection"? -Modern medicine. 370 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,250 "Modern"? "Medicine"? 371 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,462 I learned it from that Steamland guy. 372 00:22:15,542 --> 00:22:18,382 Now, it's gonna hurt bad, so have some of this. 373 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,715 Just like old times. 374 00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:29,642 Hey, give me some more of that modern medicine. 375 00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:37,402 I'll try to be as quick as possible. 376 00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:40,111 Hold him still and give him something to bite down on. 377 00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:50,907 I feel it. The bullet, it's not deep. 378 00:23:04,424 --> 00:23:05,934 That's disgusting. 379 00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,720 But I just don't think she'd ever try to kill him-- 380 00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,313 Guilty! 381 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:28,066 Any final words before the burning? 382 00:23:29,282 --> 00:23:32,082 Did you ever have one of those dreams where you're about to die 383 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,960 and at the last second, you suddenly wake up and everything's okay? 384 00:23:36,039 --> 00:23:38,419 Well, this isn't one of those. God damn it. 385 00:23:39,084 --> 00:23:41,554 We're really here. It's really now. 386 00:23:42,129 --> 00:23:44,509 While I was growing up, I was completely lost, 387 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:47,759 and then after I met you guys I was still lost, 388 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:50,053 but at least we got lost together. 389 00:23:50,971 --> 00:23:53,181 It looks like we're not gonna finish our journey. 390 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:56,345 But I'm happy to know deep down in my heart that I'm a-- 391 00:23:56,435 --> 00:23:57,725 Witch! 392 00:23:57,811 --> 00:23:59,561 That's enough now, Bean. 393 00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:05,529 Please join me in prayer for these three damned souls, 394 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:08,490 that they may find endless agony and torment 395 00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:11,202 in an afterlife of eternal suffering. 396 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:12,953 That's not what prayers are for. 397 00:24:13,034 --> 00:24:15,124 -Shut up. -Sorry. 398 00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:16,463 Light the fire. 399 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,923 No, I can't do it. 400 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,220 - Burn them all! - Witches! 401 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:33,052 I've forgotten my sad life for a moment! 402 00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:40,769 Oh. A fire. That's nice. 403 00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:45,608 Somehow, we ended up in this stupid world together... 404 00:24:45,692 --> 00:24:47,072 So, let's leave it together. 405 00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:51,742 Wait. You're not gonna die, ever. Unless... You mean... 406 00:24:51,823 --> 00:24:54,123 Well, I have a confession to make. 407 00:24:54,201 --> 00:24:57,751 When I got out of Hell, I was stripped of my immortality. 408 00:24:58,371 --> 00:24:59,871 I gave it all up for you losers. 409 00:25:00,457 --> 00:25:03,497 I'm telling you now because I'd like you to die feeling bad. 410 00:25:03,585 --> 00:25:04,835 Oh, man. 411 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,760 This may seem like too little, too late, but thank you. 412 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:10,430 I'm gonna miss you too, buddy. 413 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:13,046 See you in Hell, boys. 414 00:25:30,070 --> 00:25:31,740 Welcome, friends. 415 00:25:34,991 --> 00:25:37,451 -Ah, they're still here. 416 00:25:50,674 --> 00:25:52,304 What, no hug?